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Tous les autres exemplaires originaux sont filmds en common? ant par la premidre page qui comporte une empreinte d'impression ou d'illustration et en terminant par la dernidre page qui comporte une telle empreinte. Un des symboles suivants apparaitra sur la dernidre image de cheque microfiche, selon le cas: le symbols — »> signifie "A SUIVRE", le symbols V signifie "FIN". Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent dtre filmds d des taux de reduction diff6rents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour dtre reproduit en un seul clichd, il est filmd d partir de Tangle sup6rieur gauche, de gauche d droite, et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'images nicessaire. Les diagrammes suivants illustrent la mdthode. errata to pelure, in d D 32X ; f a a 1 2 3 4 5 6 fn f\ k' I .t ^m '■^y ^^B n ROBERTSONS CKEA-r* SERIEB> rOPVl.All RKADING AT POPULAR PRICES. .i¥ JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE -: AS A :- P. A ■ A N P.I. 8AMAUTHA AT THE CENYiNNIAL I DUIOHID AM A BRIGHT AND SHINING LIGHT, fo riiBoi THB roos or brror ako iKjuanoi that SOCIETY AND JOSIAH, tm TO BRIVO MORS OLKARLT TO V»W THB PATB THAT UAM mUMI VIRTUS JLUrn HiLPPIKBSS. i / BT THB AUTHOR Of • MY OPINIONS AND BETSY BOBBSFflL* "What are you goirg to writa now, Samanthaf^ r*^. COMPLETS, TORONTO : . J. Roas RoBBRTSon, 67 Yavos 9t 1878. 1 » ■ -' "Wr . J A ! r i t«f>fi- 'f^4 ^ jr,M^.*, ■J ■ v* ^3H32 ipw^r % JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE AS P. A. AND P. L :. \ VHB JOBfESTILLB ItEBATIBf-SCHOOI. It WM to the Jonesville Debatin'-School, that we first thought on't. It wm there that Joaiah and me made up our 2 mmds to go to Filadelfy Tillage to see the SentmaL They've had Debatm'-sohoola to Joneanlle this winter, and as I was the only Uterary woman worth mentionin', they made a great pint cf hsTin' me attend to em. I s«y the only litetary woman— Betsy Bobbet Slimpaey havin' to work out so much that •he has entirely left off writin* poetry. She ■ays she can't go out washin', and cleanin house, and ma£ui' soap, and write poetry at the same time, worth a cent. They have a awful hard time to git along. They both work out by the day, and they say that she has had to sell her tow frizzles and corneleun ring, and lots of her other nice things that she had to catch her husband with, in order to git along. Howsumever, I don't know , JioB i yon can hear anything, such a lyin' time, now-a-day»— as I told Joaiah, the «ther day. He says to me^ says he : "I won't believe anything, Samantha, till I see it with my own eyes. ' Andsaysl,— "/won't believe anything, Josiah Allen, till I have got hot holt of it." Says I, "mists and black arts are liable to be cast before your eyes; but if yon lay holt of anything with your two hands,yon are pretty certain it is there." Never havin' laid hold of her tow curls and other ornaments, aa they was bein' sold, I don't tell it for certain truth, but only what I have heam ; but that they have ,a dretf ul hard time on't to git along, that I Jenow. Besides poverty, the horrors lay holt of Slimpsey, the wont kind. They shake him aa fk dog shakes a chipmunk. When he liip«d with his first wife he didn't have 'em more'n a few times a month, or so ; bi|t now he has 'em every day, stiddy, right along. He yeUs at Betty ; soes to bed with his boots on; throws his hat at her. hollers, and keeps a actin'. He drinks, too, when he can lit anything to drink. He says he drinks to /orget his trouble ; but wh*t a simple move that is, for when h^mts over it, there hi^ trouble is, right b^ore his eyes. Theta « Betsy stands. Trouble is at black and troublesome agab looked at through theglass, and topers find that it u; for they have the old trouble, all the same, besides shame and disgrace, and bodily ruination. Considerin' what a dretf ul hard time Betsy has, it would seem to a bvstander to calmly think on't, that she didn't get much of any comfort from her marriage, except the dig- nity she told me of the other night, with her own tongue as die was goin' home from washiq^, at Miss Gowdev's. (Mist Gowdey had a felon and was disabled.) She had on a old hood, and one of her husband's old coats with brass buttons — for it was rainiu' and sh.. Jidn't care for looks. She was all drabbled up, and looked tired enough to sink. She had a piece of pork to pay het forher washin', and a piller-case about half full of the second sort of flour s oarryin' along, that Miss Gowdey had give her ; and as inappened to be a standiir in the front dooralookin' for my companion, Josiah- - who had gone to Jonesville to mill — we (;ni to talkin' about one thing and another, au*! ■he up and told me that she wouldn't pari with the dignity she got by marryin', for 2.> cents, much as she needed money. Thouch the said it WM a worse trial than anylK>dy had any idee of, for her to give up wTitin' poetry. So, as I was a tayin', bein' the onlv liter- ary woman of any account in Jonesville. tlioy made a great handlin' of havin' me present at their meelin's, or at least some of .'em did. Though as I will state and explain, the great question of my takin' part intern, rent Jones- ville almost to ita very twain. Some folks hate to aee a woman set up high and hcnonr- ed; they hate to, like a dug. It waa gallin' to some men'a pride, to see themselves passed by, and a female woman invited to tako a part in the gratt 'K^reation Searchin' So- ciety," or, '^onaaville Lycinm." 1 aome- times call it Debatin'-achool, jnat aa I used to; but the children have kbonred with mo; they call it Lyceum, and so does Maggy Snow, and our son-in>law, Whitfiehi Mink- ley; (he and Tirzah Am are married, Ana it is very agreeable to ma f^nd to Josiuli, :t>til , to Brother and Sister Miukley; very!) I'irssii JOSIAH ALLEN'S WiFE. Ann tolil mo it worked dld-fasliioned aa to call But says I calmly— I ahall call it so when her up, to see me so it Deba tin '-school. "Work up or not, I forget the other name. And Thomas Jefferson laboured with me, and jest as his way is, he went down into the reason and philosophy of things, knowin' well what a case his mother is for divin' deep into reason and first causes. That boyisdretful deep; he is comin' up awful well. He is a ornament to Jonesville, as Lawyer Snow — Maggie's father — told me last fall. (That haiu^ oome off yet ; but wt9 are perfectly trillin' «nd agreeable on botk sides, and it will probably take place before long. Thomas J. fairly worships the ground she walks en, and so she does hisen. ) SAys Thomas J. to me, says he, "I hain't m word to say ag'inst your oulin' it Debatin'- school, only I know yon are so kinder soien- tifiu and philosophical, that I hate to see yon nsin' a word that hain't got science to back it up, Now this word Xyoeum," says he, "is derived from the dead languages, and from them that is most dead. It islrom the Greek and Injun ; a kind of half*breed. Ly, is from thet^reek, and signifies and means a big story, or, in ether words, a falsehood ; and ce-am is from the Injnn ; and it all means, 'see 'em lie.' " That boy is dretful deep ; admired as he yi by everybody, there is but few indeed that realize what a mind he has got. He con- vinced me right on thu spot, and I make a practice of callin' it so, every time I think of it. But as I told Tirzah Ann — work op or not, if they was mortified black as a coal, both of 'em, when I forgot that name I •honld call it by the old one. There has been a awful thorough study int0 things to the Debatin'-school,or Lyoeum. II has almost skairt me sometimes, to see 'em go so deep into hard subjects. It has seemed al- most uke temptin' Providence, to know so much, and talk so wise and smart as some ef *om have. I was in favour of their haviu' 'em from the very first on't, and said openly, that I laid out to attend 'em ; but I thought my soul, I should ha> e to stay to home, the very first one. It eommenoed on a Tuesday night, and I had ^ot my mind all worked up about goin' to It ; and T told the Widder Poodle, ( Josiah's brother's wife, that is livin' with us at present,) I told her in the afternoon, it would be a dretful blow to me if anything should happen to keep me to home ; and I Sot a early breakfast, a purpose to get a early inner, so's to have a early supper, so's to be ready to go, yon know sunthiu as the poem I nuBSk— "The fire begun to bum the stick, the stick begun to lick to kid, and the kid begun to go." Wall, before supper, I went up into the Widder Doodle'ses room to git my soap- ston^ to put on the tank to have it a warm- in' for the ride ; (I let the Widder have the soap-stone, nights, she haviu' no other companion, and bein' lonesome, and troubled with cold feet. I do well by the Widder. y As I come down with it, all boyed up in my miud about what a edifyin' and instructive time I was goin' to have, the Widder spoke up and says she : "Josiahhas jest been in, and he don't know as he shall go to Jonesville, after all ; he says the Editor of the Augor is sick. " He was to make the openin' speech. " What ails the Editoi^ ?" says L Says she, — 'He has got the Zebra Spinner Mag9etics." ,> ''Good land I" says I, "ne won't never get over it, will he ? I shonld'nt never ex- pect to get well if / had that distemper,, and I don't know as I should want to. It must leave the system in a awful state." "Yes," says Josiah, who had come in> with an armful of wood, " the Editor is bad off ; but Sister Doodle hain't got it iest right ; it is the Zebra Smilin' Marcellus tnat hM got a holt of him. Solomon Cypher told me aoout it when he went by on his saw log." "Wall," says I coolly, "a few words, more or less, uin't a goin to make or break a distemper. j^OA both seem to be agreed and sot onto the"^bra, so s'posen we call it the Zebra, for short. Do yeu know whether he oatched the Zebra, or whether it come onto him spontaneous, as it were T Anyway, I don't believe he will ever get over it.'*^ And I sithed as I thought of the twins ^ he has had a sight of twins sense he married this woman ; I never see such a case Tor twins, as the Editor is. And I sithed as I thought of every span of 'em ; and the ma» and step-ma of 'em. I kep' a sithin',^ and says I : " This distemper is a perfect stranger to- me, Josiah Allen. Where does the Zebra> take holt of anybody ?" Says he, — ""The aisease is in the bacjkside of his neck, and the posterity part (rf^ his brain.** And then I felt better. I felt well about ' the Editor of the Augers'es wife, and the tvrins. Says I in a cheerful voice : " If the disease is in his brain, Josiah, I know he will have it light. I know they can quell it down easv. " I knew well that there could be a large, a- 9try large and interestin' book made out of What the Editor didn't know. The minut* THE JONESVILLE DEBATIN'SCHOOL. don't erall ; H» lit told me the Zebra wm in hii brain, I knew its stay there would be short, for it \«ouldn't find anything to support itself ■on, for any lenfl;th of time, t felt well ; my heart felt several Eonnds lighter than it had ; for lightnesa of eart never seem so light, aa it does after anybody has been carryin' a little jag of trouble. It takes the little streaks of shadow^ set off the sunshine. Life is con- siderfffiulike a rag carpet, if you only look on it iWn the eye of a wearer. It is nuMle up of dark stripes and light stripes, and soma* times a considerable number of threads of hit or miss; and the dark stripes set off the light ones, and make 'em look first rate. Bat 1 am allegorin'. As I said, I felt relieved and cheerful, and I got supper on the table in a few minutes — the tea-kettle was all biled. Atter supper, I aaid to Josiah in cheerful axents : " I guess we had better go to JonelBville, anyway, for my mind seems to be sot ento that Debatin'-school, and I don't believe the Editor's bavin' the Zebra will break it down at all; and I want to go to Tirzah Ann's a few minutes; and we are about out of tea — there haint enough for another drawiu'." Josiah said it wasn't best to take the old mare out again that night, and he didn't be- lieve there would be a Debatin'-school, now the Editor had got the Zebra ; he thought that would dat it all out. I didn't argue on that ; I didn't stand on the Zebra, knowin' well, I had a keener ante in my bow. I merely threw in this remark, in a awful dry tone * " Very well, Josiah Allen; I can dt UpVg on sage tea, if you can; or, I can make cnut coffee for breakfast. " I calmly ke^' a braidia' up my back hair, previous to doin' it up i|i » wad, for I knew what the end thereof would be. My com- panion, Josiah, is powerfully attached to his tea, and he sot for a number of minutes in perfect silence, meditatiu' — I Rnew, by the looks of his face — on sage tea. I kep' per- fectly still and let him meditate, and wouldn't hare interrupted him for the world, for I knew that sage tea, and crust coffee, taken internally ofthe mind (as it were,) was what was good for him just tlien. And sostt|Mved, for in about three minutes and a half,^^e spoke out in tones as sharp as a meat axe; sqme like a simetar : — " Wall ! do git ready if you are a goin'. I never did see such cases to be on the yo all the time, as wimmen be. But I shall go with the Bobs, jest as I come from the woods; I haint a goin' to fuss to git out the xjlleiffh to-night." He acted cross, and worry some, but I answered him calmly, and my mean looked first rate as I said it :— " There is a great literary treat in front of me, to-bight, Josiah AUen, and a few Bob*, more or less, haint a goin' ta over- throw my oomfori^ or my principle*. No !" ■ays I, stoppin' at my bed-room door, and warin' my right hrad in a real eloquent wave; "not no I Josiah Allen ; the seekin' mind, bent on improvin' itself; and the eameet soul a ploiibin after the good of the race. Bob* has ao powei over. Such minds cannot be turned round in their fflorious career by Bobe." " Wall I wall!" he snapped out again, *'do git ready. I believe wimmen would ■top to talk and visit on their way to the ■take." I didn't say nothin' back, but with a calm face I went into the bedroom and put on my brown alpaca dreaa ; foi I thought seein' I had my way, I'd let him have his say, kunw- in' by eAperience, that the last word w«)ulT,*' *'L^'" *''»* >* «'orld. There ZTh",nth?t "" ^*«?' '° *'»« hnve a tendency to oT«ettl« '"i'^ u" ^«"^d tho hull fabric Jf .ocief; /o, *['^^*>'-«»k up take part in guch heftv .L/r 'Ionian to •rgued here. Some s^ii"^"^"' "' ^°"'^1 he *ionaryidee, and not to hi ,*' ", '•«^«Ja- a moment of timeVnd ,h^'^T'^ ^""^ half arK.iments from ths A ^^ brought op Ed.tor-to p'rZ ot? tllrWlm^^'^^^ ^^^ '*- ' Jh'^e no Tuch privileL ri'°u'*"'**° They aaid, hb Sok .. ^1 honours, was now, it would L^ii u- ^ , *"® Editor ' that the '*C?eaLn ^'"'I>?"h«°Whear that he had labour«J ^T"'*'" Society'" They said aa friend, «f *?''•,?»'•* »« »*• "•onldn't answer for th« 1 *l* *^*^'*°'-' '% •^"^ and other gystemfef *"* ^" "^"^ answer for fhl^l -Neither would thev -Hi the world-?rreft? '' '^""''^"'e -ptfX Xt'TJ'Sj'li .\';;^- -<^ -me est as rampant on the n*K ' ^^l^'^ers was ^AH ALLENS WiFR gifc^^o*Jome'^^^^ and not t,y u. their moSftte l^eepin' " «ome men's forts XmJ?' "' eloouence. , "olea to keep their bod?! I- u? «*^ ^^^the^ , «"«•« fort.*^ One is St' Jfi'^y' " •"other ' worthy as the other in *' honourable and '« the fear of Ood^'d fo^?».°P'°'^". '' ^on J one time, i» what IreaK T ^'' * '^'t ai hainttallcin' in pabJo li T/ n ^^ '«'* from day to day M*f„* x* ^^"e*' »t up So I was^-ust as^co" as ' "/* *° be Jollerd^ Buie and /nside, and itnt L ??^««'°ber, out- on makin' «onsummV^?- ^ ''^®' ««« 'em ao not, and ruther °^ themselves S ; ,' "f™ ray nob e fioin'a on m«7 '^ "ron^M I had 8too.l face to fice Zi^VuTl ' how lionoured man of pe^e W *hat heaven, heaven-honoured ^nTi! Horace Oreely^ how he had coSfidrfin m^T^^^^* "«^- t^c]es had calmly l.^a^nt^^r "'^ ^I'^^" argued in deep debSf nn« • *!''®"' *» we ^>f the n.ation.and^vTrJ^^'""'" the welfare preserved GraLt f^om^^'^^^JJ^. «ow I had how I had laboured witE vf * ° ^^ ^^^ I with Theodore. AStK?? »°^ W«<* rose me up above othYr ^- "''^ **°'^ » had me so far up above h^r""**" '' ^'^ «"ed to make me wor?hy of ^^^r""^ 'n**"' " t'on eould heap onto m^^„,»r''°'" *he na- evento take a part in tV« V^ t""® "« worthy t'on Searchin' ^ iSd WorM T "^^ C«»*- Society." *"" ^orld Investigatin' word^^The^ ^fif *iL°V>: *"^ '^^'^^'t »ay. oalmly th^^ on' my\±y ^V »«d ' ^ot J^oHiah's socks Md iJf I ' " knittin' my g ^here I stood 'i^^.t**'^"' «? o°. I knew I shouldn't git upaS^Jir '°'°*^ ' ^ '^new I i got through fiStin' ^.".r*^ •fter they ^>"blio , nay, verily ItiT*"^"'' '° talk in nomorewearin'onherthrnJ" "^u^ °P'°»on, to git up and talk to a a?,!i*' °'' her morals amusement and edificatioS In"''* ^^ thei; collected voice, than ij is fA 'u * J'"^"' »nd her voic« and 'sing "to "mlt"^ \ ^^^^ "P ' the same reason. *But -r?., k ?® .^""^' 'or particular fort, andlhey orJ^t^^^ ^«« .their "ey ort in my opinion back, as I had,) to seXm ''P^* '''hold him sident Cornelius Cork a^d f l ^"^ ^« ^«" talked the most. Twlt k"^?" .^-^Pher a^ad ai„ t fi„i,h^/J«y are b Cypher havin' had bettPr „ / } SoJojnon the President, of^rse L, r*T« 'han as an oritcr. 'a nephew ofhl "^^V «' him Bumpus, old Philander^nm *"?' ^' ^^^pher (named after his fatW "^"'®« only boy, h^ been there t! hfcl!?/"?^^^ <^^«rj sons all winter in oV!" 8*^ him lei- for ttttorin' him. *^ him his board sonrjfTomrbi^SSiJ'rd; and Took i? he<«tnhoUer u^:n;^r"*5'r^K*^«y »V as the biffceat nf 'fJ J ^"'^ 'ook as wild down a. f^^^Vna fe^^L'^^'^^^^ his v^ct as the curiousest of *em ^":?"" "'"tion. took up lots in his own head H"' >'' ^'^ Son-a^i;^^^^^^^^^^ lameness, I never see a man 1.5®"*-*°** hi. way as Solomon Cypher h^i? """^ ^'"^' eloquent and imprJs^sfJe i^tu^?"."*" "'•^» Cornelius Cork fJ,«i>* •?'*■' ^^T. hasbeenatrvSJtoI^ ^{'^'''dent. the^^gij. totakegestSandZltr"'. ^^^^^ head ; but bein' a pooTrZ' °^''' *"» "'^ able to hire a teacW „?^'''' **"* "ot bein' make much head waj: L?^^" he don't" ?o well. HehainrtoA?* «•* «^ong n-;fh i" «o he can handK tn°* ^^^^ ge«ture*broK that is: pointiV his flfi"^ «nva.tage. and dience. with the reJt of h "*u •' *he au- THK JONESVIU.E DEBATIN'SCHOOL Id keepiV I forte "* fort, makes nxixm fort at ^y/ort ^r it UD /. out- em ^o 'Ives a» ;'• Md m him lePre. ypher quenfc omon than him ypher ^oy, her,) I les- Qatio •oard it on ie«. ••J rild >io» ons. bas Die n- id U 1. onet h« wai goin' to mn through their hearts ; and sometimes hoklin' it back and takin' a more distant and deliberate aim with it, aa if it was a popgun he kep' bv him to shoot down congregations with. That is all he has got at present; bnt truly, he does the best he can, with what he has to do with. It don't scare the audience so much I s'pose as he thinks it ort to, and he probable giti discouraged ; but he ort to consider that he ean't show off much in gestures, while Solo- mon Cvpher is livin*. A kerosine lamp can't show off to any advantage when the sun gits up. But the President doue well as I said, with what he had to do with. He pinted that forefinger almost threatningly in every direction, from Zenith to Nathan, as he trent on to say: he hadn't no peraonal ob- jections to Josiah Allen's wife, "fur /rum- mit." Cornelius Cork bein' a poor man, and shackled with the support of four maiden sis- ters of his own, and a mother-in-law and a crand-mother-law of his wife's besides a large family of children of their own, haint never felt able to own a dictionary, and so he pro- nounces by ear, and makes mistakes. But con- considerin' his circumstances and shackles, I don't think he ort to be run down for it. It makes itvery bad, sometimes, for Solomon Cypher.for he bein' so took up with gestures niul motions, and bein' one easy led astrayjby them that are in high office, he follers on blindly after the President and uses lots of words he wouldn't dremp of usin', if he hadn't heerd the President use 'em. It makes it bad for Solomon, Very. The President repeated the words again, with dignity and emphasis: "Jkir /rummU." Ee trusted he realized too well whose tower it was, that bein' gone off on, had lifted Jonesville fur up above surroundin' nations; had lifted it high up on fame's towerin' pil- low, and shed a lurid light on the housen thereof. He trusted he was too familiar with that noble book of hern, of which he had read the biggest heft, and was calculat- in' to tackle the rest of it if he lived long enough. And he had said, and he said still, tliat such a book as that, was liable to . live and go d.o\Vn to Posterity, if Posterity didn't git shiftless and hang off too long. And if auybody.said it wasn't liable to, he called 'em " traitor, to the face; traitor to Jones- traitor ville; traitor to Josiah. Allen's wife; to Josiah." His face got red as blood, and he sweat considerable, he talked so hard, and got so excited, and pointed that forefinger so power- ful and frequent at the audience, as if he was — inspirit — shootin' 'emdown like wild turkeys. Jest ai quick as he collected breath enough, he went on to sny though nobody could go ahead of him in honourin' that esteemable woman, still he sot principin up in his mind above any other female; higher even than Josiah Allen's wife. It was solid principle he was upholdin'; the principle of the male sex not hein' infrinced upon; that was his stand." Savs he, "For a fem%le woman to talk in public on such momentous and weighty surtjects^Rubject* that weigh I don't know what they won't weigh but this I know : every one will be hefty ; — for a female woman to talk on those deep and perhaps awful subjects as they ar» a bein' brung up, would have a dangerous tendency to make a woman feel as if she was equal to man. It would have a tendency to infringe on him; and if there is anythmg a man can't, nor wont stand, it ia infriugin'. And it would also bring her into too close contract with him ; and so, on them grounds, as a Latin author observes in a similar case : 'I deny her the right in tato tofo. ' " That was Latin, and I s'pose he thought it would scare me, but it didn't a mite; for I don't s'pose he knew what it meant no more'u I did. I bound off my heel with composnro. But the excitement was fearful ; no sooner would them on one side make a motion, than them on the other side would git up and make a different motion. You know when sheep go to jurapin' over the fence, if one goes, ttiey all want to go. There was the awfulcat sight of motions made, I ever see ; everybody was jumpiu' up and makin' 'em. Why, one spell, I had to lay holt of Josiah Allen and hold him down by main etrengtii, or he'd beentfip a makin' 'em; he wanted to, and tried to, but I laid holt of him and argued to him. Says I : _ "Let'em fight it out ; don't you make » single motion, Josiah Allen. " And Josiah, feelin' clever, consented noi to, and sot still, and I went to knittin' again. But it was a scene of almost fearful confus- ion, and excitement. No sooner had tlie President sot down, sayin* he denied me tliu right "171 fato » - r-***::M ^\jM 1 JOSIAB ALLEN'S WIFB. " I motion sh* h»iut no tight to talk." Au.l again h« smote bii breMt almost acvtre- W. " I motion vou tall on what ffroundt yon tiittlio th« motion 1" saya the Editor vl throwin' hia the head ^iiiiilot, jumpin' up and 'i^ia:k niibly. " 1 motion vou let down again/' aayi the I'rciiileut— takin' aim at him M if he waa a tiiuiihrat— " I motion you set down add give hull a, chance to get up and tell why he made the motion." So the Editor of the Gimlet sot down, and Solomon Cypher riz up : " 1 stand on this ground," (says he stamp- lii in' down his right foot,) " and on this ground 1 miAie my motion :" (says he, stampin' down his left one, and smitin' himself a al- most dangerous blow in the breast,) "that this society haint no place for wimmen. Her /mind haint fit for it ; '/ur/rummit,' as my honored friend, the President observes,— l/tir /rummil.' There is deep subjects a goin' to be brung up here, that is all my mind can flo, to rastle with and throw 'em ; and for a female woman's mind to tackle 'em, it would he like settiu' a pismire to move a meetin' house. Wimmen's minds is weak." Here be smote himself a fearful blow right u the pit of his stomach, and repeated the words slowly and impressively: '■ " Wimmen's minds is weak. But this laiut the main reason why I make my mo- y. ion. My main reason is, that I obje<^ and I always will — while I have got a breath i(;ft in my body— object to the two sexes a o-omin' — as my honoured friend the Presi- <,j {htin' ag'inst, and trembled and quailed before him. But thoueh I realized well what was a coin' on before me, though I knew what a deadly blow he was a givio' *o the cause, I held firm, and kep' a cool mean, and never thousht for hidf a moment of givin' up my shield. And then I knew it wasn't so much hia words— although they was witherin' — ss his lofty majesty of bearin', that influenced the almost breath- less audience. He stood in that oommandin' posture, I have described, for I should judge, nearly one moment and a half, and then ne repeated the words: " For I say unto yon," — and here he drop- ped his coat-skirts suddenly, and struck him- self in the breast a sudden and violent blow with hia thumb— the flneers all standin' out straight, like the bones of a fan — " for I say unto you; and if these are the last words yon shall ever hearfrom my humble but perfectly honourable mouth — ^remember, Jonesville and the world, that I died a sayin'^ beware of the female pole." I never in my hull life heerd a pole sound 80 faint and sickly as that pole did- It dwindled away almost to nothin', and he kinder shet his eyes up and sallied away, as if he was a goin' to die off himself. It skairt some of the wimmin most- to death, it was so impressive; but I knew it was all the effect of high trainin'; I knew he would come to in a minute, and he did. Pretty soon he kinder repeated the words, in a sickly tone: " Remember, I died a say in': beware of the female pole. Beware! beware! !" And oh, how skai:t them wimmin waa THK J0NE8VILLE DEBATIN SCHOOL. oooi«ia »by ruin, And the rid to rt- -■kirtt JQ fenful oo«t on, he floor, . with a ftm"em up, and I some round I inipoa* *mort nutt«r. bloody • lerri* Iov«n Mpr«. in the be/ore. By WM uailed well >ughl no' ♦o mean, )nt of ew it 1 they ty of neath- indin' Idee, whe Irop. him- ilow out ■ay yon ctly riUe • of ind It he as irt 80 lot in er Df • again; for he straightened right ap and veiled out them two bewares, like a couple of olaps of thunder; and his eyes kep' a growin' big- 1(er and bigger, and his voice grew louder and oudei, tilTIt seemed as if it would raise the verv ruff— thouffh it had i^t been new shin- ([led (cost the deestrick 20 dollars)— and he ooked round the audience as wise as any owl ever laid eyes on, and struck himself a very feariul blow with his thumb, right on his stomach, and says he: "Beware of bein' infriuoed upont" — and then followed another almost danuenms blow — " Beware of that terrible and narful day, when men and winunea shall come in contract with each other." He stopped perfectly still, looked all round the house with that wine and almost owl* like look on him, and then in a slow, im- Eresiive, and eloquent manner, he raised his auds and struck his breast bone with both thumbs and sot down. Some of the speakers seemed t>i be real envious of his gestures, but they ort to have oonsidered that it was all in knowin' how; it was all in practice. He'd probably studied on every motion for days and days, and they hadu t ort to have be* greched 'em bo to him. But if he hadn't never studied on elocution and inipreBsive gesturin'; if he hadn't looked a mite like an owl for solemnity and wisdom, his talk would have been dretful impressive and scareful to come, he painted it all out in such high colours wnata terrible and awful thing it would be for the two sects to ever come in "contract with each other." I s'poie he meant contact — I haint a doubt of it. Why, to have heerd him go on, if thers had been a delegate present to the "Crea- tion Searohin' Society," from the moon?— or any other world adjacent to Jooesvilleiir-he wouldn't have had any idee that men wimmen had ever sot any nearer to other than from half to three-quarters mile. I i'poie I never oonld have made foreimer oelieve, if I had talked myself blind, that, tor all Solomon Cypher showed such deadly fear of men comin' in "contract" with -wimmen, he had lived with . «ne forty years; drinked out of the same dip- per; slept togi^her Sundays in the same pew of the same meetin' house; and brought up a big family of children together, which be- longed to both on 'em. flowsumever, them was the facts of the case; but I let him go on, for principle held me down, and made me want to know how itwonld end; whether freedom, and the ptineiplee of our 4 fathers would triumph, or whether thev would be quirled tp like cater- pillers, and be trod on. I knew in my mind I shouldn't git up and talk, not if they voted me in ten times over, for reasons that I give more formally; and besides them roasous, I was lame, and had ruther set and knit, for Josiah needed his socks; and I have always said, and I say still, that a woman ort to make her family comfortable, before she tackles the nation, and I kep' on a or the heathen, or anything. So they kep' on a nghtin^, knittin';and upheld by principle, I never let on but what! war dvin' to git up and talk. They got awful worked up on it; they sot as mad as hens, every one on 'em, all but Josiah. He sot by me as happy as you please, a holdin' my ball of yam. Me acted cleverer than he had in some time; he was awful clever and happy: and so was I; we felt well in our 2 minds, as we sot there side by side, while the fearful waves of confusion and excitement, and Cornelius Cork and Solomon Cypher, wae » toetin' to and fro about us. And oh, how happyfyin' and consolin' and satisiyin' to the mind it is, when the world is angry and almost mad at you, to set by the side of them yon are attached to by links considerable stronger than cast iron. In the midst of the wildest tempests, you feel considerable safe, and some conipuscd. No matter if you don't speak a word to them, nor they to you, their presence is suf- ficient; without 'em, though you may be sur- rounded by adn:irin' ccigregations, there is, as the poet says, "a goneness"; the biggest crowds are completely unsatisfactory, and dwindle down to the aeepest lonesomeuess. Though the hull world should be holdin' you up, you would feel tottlin' and lonesome. But the presence of the one beloved, though he or she— as the case may be— may not be hefty at all, still is large enough to fill a meetin' house, or old space himseS without em; and truly when heart leans upon heart, ifiggeratively speakin') there is a rest in it |hat feather beds cannot give, neither can ihey take away. My companion Josiah's face shines with that oalm, reposeful happi- neee, when he is in my society, and I— al- though I know not what I do— experience the same emotions in hisen. Finally, at half-pact eleven— and they was completely tuckered out on both sides — the enemies of women's suffragin' and jus- tice, kinder all put together and brought in a motion, Solomon Cypher bein' chief bearer and spokesman of the procession. ^ They raised him up to this prominent position, be- cause he was such a nnished speaker. The motion was clothed upon in eloquent and imaginative language. Solomon Cypher never got it up alone. Cornelius Cork, and the Editor of the Anger, and probable two or three others had a hand in it, and hetf^^ git it up. ' It had a almost thrillin' effect oa- .rA WM a severe and even gloomy exprtessinn the upper part of his face, and an empt> . vaoanb look in his eyes. Then he smnto himself meaningly and impressively in .^the pit of his stomach, and sot do^io. . 'And then, as it was considerable still for a mom- ent, I spoke calmly out of my seat to the Editor of the Gimlet,/ who happened to be a etandin' near, and thanked him and the ^ others on his side, for their labours in my > behalf, and told 'em I hadn't no idee of takin' l-l part in their Debatin'-school, (I called it so ^ before I thought) and hadn't had, none of the :time. And then, with a calm and collected mean onto me, I knit in the middle of my iineedle, and Josiah wound up my ball of ..yarn, and we started for home. * 'But I wasn't goin' to stay away from the . 'Debatin'-school because they looked lljdown on the female sect and l^felt awful kinder contemptible towards 'em. *Other folks'es opinions of us hadn't ort to Mnfluence us ag'inst them. Because a ' person is prejudiced ag'inst me, and don't like me, that haint no reason why I shouldn't honour whatgoo shiftless creeter by nat6r — but good lookib', so I beam. HoWsumever, I don't know no- thin' about it only by hearsay, for I nsVer « m '« •E. JoiUh'* with Qg. i»l fool; 09 on him of her, the re. by Joai- thatr ^9 to go- THE WIDDEE DOODLE. II Bot l.ticl eyes on none of the lot till she come on tu us for a home. They lived oat to the Ohio. Bat she fairly worships that Doodle to «his dcj, talks about him day and night. I haint heerd her say a dozen words about Josiah's brother Timothy, though they say he was a Upely man, and a good proTider, and didiwen by her. Left her a good farm, all paid for, and Doodle run through it ; and tive oows and two horses ; and Doodle run through them, and a colt. But she don't seem to remember that she ever had no such husband as Timothy Allen, which I know makes it the more woarin' unto Josiah, though he don't complain. But he thought a sight of Tim— they used to sleep together when they was children, and heads that lay on the same mother's bosom, can't sit so fur apart but what memory will unite em. They got separated wher- they they grew up; Tim went to the Ohio to live, as I say. but still, when Josiah's thonghts git to travelin', as thoughts will — I never see such critters to be on the go all the time — they take him back to the old trundle*bed, and Tim. But she don't mention brother Timothy only when Josiah asks her about him. But Doodle ] I can truly say without lyin' that if ever a human bein' got sick of any thing earth, I got sick of Doodle, sick enough of him. Bein' shet up in the house with her ' I sense it more than Josiah does, ft is Doodle in the morning, and Doodle at noon, and Doodle at night, and Doodle between meals; and if she talks in her sleep — which she is quite a paae to — it is about Doodle. I don't opnoDlain to Josiah mucl), knowin' it will only.' road the harder; but I told Thorn: son one day, after she had jest ii story about her and Doodle that t the biggest part of the forenoon, for ticnlars that she will put in about nothtu^ enough to make anybody sweat in the mi die of winter. She had went an 1 lay down in her room after she got through; and good land I I should think she would want to— I should think she would have felt tuckered out. And I says to Thomas Jefferson — and I sitbed as I said it: "It does seem as if Doodle will be the death of me.** And I sithed again several times. "Wall," says he, "if he should, I will write a handsome piece of poetry on it ;" says he, "Alf Tennyson and Shakespeare have written some pretty fair nieces, but mint shall "Beat the hull caboodle, And the burden of the him shall be. That mother died of Doodle. I stopped sithin' then, and I says to him in real severe tones, "You needn't laugh Thomas J., I'd love to see you try it one day." Says I, "You and your father bein' outdoors all day, when you come in for & few minutes to your meals, her stiddy stream of talk is as good as a cirons to you, sunthin' on the plan of a side show. But you be shet up with it all day long, day after day, and week after week, and then see how you would feel in your mind; then see how the name of Doodle would sound in your ear." • But I try to do the best I can with her. As I said, how long she will stay with us I don't know. But! don't s'pose there is any hopes of her marryin' again. When she first came to live with us, I did think — ^to tell the plain truth — thnt she would marry again if she got a chance. I bought I symptoms ofit. But it wasn't wxt a few ^S^tl^ that that I give up the hope, for ImJIIM '"'"' ^^^ ^^ wasn't no wajrsf WMK'I'^jK^ she should over marry| agMJ^ ^^ Kll. talks a sight about Doo^MHpii^ always calSi it his *line<{ mont',l|mi it is printed on her heart, and i1{ hain't no ways likely that she will ever se another linement, that will look to her good as Mr. DoodUpluiement. I declare for't, sotoietimes when she is goii on, I have to call on tho martyrs in my owil mind almost wildly, call on every one I evel heerd of, to keep my principles stiddy, anC keep me from sayin' sunthm' I shouH bl sorry for. Sometimes when she is goin' o^ for hours about "Doodle and his linement and so forth, I set opposite to her with m| knittin' work in my hand, with no trace the outside, of the almost fearful temf goin' on inside of me. There I'U be, a bindi off my heel, or seamin' two and one, to toeii] ?off, as the case may be ; calm as a snmme mornin' on the outside, but on the iR»iJe m a sayin' over to myself in siisntbuj most picrcifi' tones of soul agony : "John Rogers I Smithfield i nine^'^ii dren, one ^t the breast I Orid-irons ! thi screws 1 and co 4th, and so 4th ! " It hi dretful good eiTect on me, I think over wha these men endured foi^ principle, and I say to myself ; " Josiah Allen's wife, has not your h< almost burnt up within you a thinkin' these martyrs? Hitve yon not in rappc moments had longin's of ths sole to be I martyr also? Lofty principle may boy the sot up triumphant, but there can't be^anybo** burnt up without smartin', and fire was ji as hot in them days as it is now, and no ho| ter. If David Doodle is the stake on whit you are to be offered up, be ctdm, Sainant — be calm." So I would be a talkin' to myself, and a2 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIPE. ff^ «he would be a poin' on, and though I hare ! proffered pangs that can't be expressed about, rjny principles have grown more hefty from -day to day. I begun to look more lofty in 'mean, and sometimes I have been that boyed up by hard principle, that jest to see what heights a human mind could git up on to, whue the body ^vaa yet on the ground, I would be|pn myself about Doodle. And so, rspeakin in a martjrr way, the Widder Doo- dle was not made in vain. She is a small bbneded woman, dretful softly lookin' ; and truly, her looks don't be- lie her, for she seems to me that soft, that if , she should bump her head, I ound the ones that are left so'a not to hit lem nigh so often, and the sea weed, «ibe- fknown 1;o them, will kinder drizzle out, and lisappear mostly. I don't have to correct Josiah near so , 4uch as T used to, though occasionally, when uA. know I am in the right, I set up my au- i^ithority, and and will be minded ; and he ;iBeu. I never see a ccuple yet< whether they'd own it or not, but what would have their little spats : but good land ! if thc>y love each other they git right over it, .lud it is all fair weather again. The little breeze clears the air, and the sun will shiue out out again clear as pure water, and bright m a dollar. 9 Sister Doodle, (Josiah thought it was best to call her so some of the tine, he thought it would seem more friendly) sho says, the widder does, that she never see a couple live together any happier and agreeable than me and Josiah live together. She told me it reminded her dretfuUy of her married life with Doodle. . (Josiah had cooed at me a very little that momin' — not much, for he knows I don't encourage it in him. ) Truly, Doodle is her theme, but I hold firm. She was a helpin' me wash my dishes, and she begun : how much Josiah and I reminded her of her and Doodle. Says she — "Nobody knows how much that man thought of me ; he would say sometimes in tne winter when we wake up in the mornin': 'My dear Dolly,' — be used to call me that, though m^ name i.s Nabby, but he said I put him in mind so vi a doll, that he couldn't help callin' me so — 'My dear DoUy,' he'd say, '1 have been a dreamin' about you. ' •• ' Have you Mr. Doodle? ' says L " ' Yes.' says he, ' I have been a dreamin' how much 1 love you, how pretty you are — jest as pretty as .1 pink posy.' Them was r. Doodle'ses very words: 'a pink posy.' "I'd uy— 'Oh shaw, Mr. Doodle, I guess you art' time to keep the wind from blowin' too hard onto me. And lie would eat jest as hearty and enjoy himself dretfuUy. Oh I we took a sight of comfort together, me and Mr. Doodle did. And 1 can't never forget him ; 1 can t never marry again, his line- ment is so stamped onto my memory. Oh. no, I caa't never forget his linemeut ; uo M: •# THE WIDDER DOODLE. 1» nid liava if tJify t. .iikI u ' out out >riiiht as T'other man's linement can be to me what his ' linement was," ' She stopped a minute to ask me where ■he shotild set the dishes she had wiped, and I was glad of the respit, thought I knew it would be but a short one. And I was right, for in settin' up the dishes, she see a little milk pitcher that belonged to my first set of dishes ; there was a woman painted onto it, and that set her to goin* again. Truly, there is nothin' on Mie face of the earth, or in the sky above, but what reminds her, in some way, of Doodle. I have known the risin' sun to set her to goin', and the fire-shovel, and the ilust-pan. She held the pitcher pensively in ^er hand a minute or two, and then she says: "This picture looks as I did, when I mar- ried Mr. Doodle. I was dretful pretty, so he used to tell me ; too pretty to have any hardships put onto me, so he used to say. There was considerable talk about wimmen's votin', about that time, and he said there wasn't money enough in the world to tempt him to let his Dolly vote. Anything so wearin' as that, he said he should protect me from as long as he had a breath left in his body. He used to git dretful excited about it, he thought so nnbh of me. He said it would ' wear a woman right out ; and how should I feel,' says he, 'to see my Dolly wore out.' " He couldn't use to bear to have me go a visitin', either. He said talkin' with neigh- bourin' wimmen was wearin' too, and to have to come home and git supper for him After dark ; he said he couldn't bear to see mc do it. He never was no hand to pick up :i ni>pper, and I always had to come home ' i*^^ his supper by candle light^ueat vituud; ho always had to have jest what he wanted to cat, or it made him sick, he WM one of that kind — give him the palsy. Hi never had the palsy, but he always said that all that kep' him from it, was havin' jeit what he wanted to eat jest at the time ho wanted it ; and so he would lay down on the lounge while 1 got his supper ready. I'd have to begin at the very begin- oino, for he never was one of the men that eouTd hang over the tevkottle, or git up potatoes, or anything of that sort ; and I'd most always have tn build up the fire, for he thouji^ht it wasn't a man's place to do such things. He was a dretful hand to want everybody to keep their place ; that was one reason why he felt so strong about wim- men's votin*. Ho had a deep, sound minH, my Doodle did. Bu -^ as I said, he'd lay on the lounge and worry so about its hein' too much forme; thU, ruther than make him eel so bad, I give up visitin' almost entire- fy. Dnt he never worrieJ about that, so much as he did about votin', it seemed as if the thouglit of that almost killed him. H» said that with my health, (I didn't enjoy- very good health then) I wouldn't staud it 'n- year. I would wilt right down under it. Oh I how much that man did think of me f "When I would be a workin' in the garden, (I took all the care of the garden,) or when I would be a pickin' up chips — we was kinder bothered for wood — he'd set out on the back piazzan with his paper, the Eveuin' Grippher — awful strong paper against wimmen's rights — and as I would be a bringin' my chips- in, (we had a old bushel basket that I used,) he would look up from his paper and. say to me, — ' Oh, them pretty little hands, how cunning they look, a quirling round thci basket nandles ; and oh, them pretty- little eyes; what should I do if it wasn't- for my Dolly ? And how should I feel if them pretty little eyes was a lookiu' at the pole ? Says he, ' It would kill me Dolly f it would use me right up. ' "And then, when I would be a chumin*^ —we had a good deal of cream, and the< butter come awful hard ; sometimes it would take me most all day and lame my back for a week — and when I would be a. chui-nin', he would be so good to me to help- me pass away the time. He would set ii» his rockin' chair — I cushioned it a purpose for him— and he would set and read the-] Evenin' Grippher to me ; sometimes he»l would read it clear through before I w^onldf fetch the butter ; beautiful arguments there-j would be in it ag'inst wimmen'* rights. L| used to know the Editor was jest another such a man as my Mr. Doodle was, and IJ would wonder how any livin' woman oouldi stand out ag'inst such arguments, they-i E roved right out so strong that votin' wouldJ a too much for the weaker sect, and thato] men wouldn't feel nigh so tender and reve> fential towards 'em, as they did now. "We wasn't very well off in them dayi,f] for Mr. Doodle was obliged to mortgage the-[ farm I brought him when we was married, and it was all we could do to keep up the-j money due on the mortgage, and ntfaerf wouldn't help us much ; ha said we muat.| work for a livin', jest as he did ; and the farm kinder run down, for Mr. Doodle said] he couldn't go out to work and leave me forj a hull day, he worshipped mo so ; so we lel out the place on shares, and I took in work a good ooal. When I was a workin', Mr.] Doodle would set and look at me for hour and hours, with a sweet smile on his line*] ment, and tell me how delicate and pretty \ iraa and how much he thought of me, auj how he would die and be skinned— have hi hide took completely off of him— before he'^ 14 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIPE. let m« vote, or have any other hardship put on me. Oh ! what a sight of comfort me «nd Mr. Doodle did take together; and when I think how he died, and was a eorpee —and he was a corpse jest as quick as he was dead, Mr. Doodle was — oh how I do feel. I can't never forget him, his linement is so stamped onto my memory. I never can forget nis linement, never.*' And BO she'll go on from hour to hour, and from day to day, about Doodle and Wim- men's Bights — Wimmen's Bights and Doodle ; dnvin' ahead of her a drove of par* ticulars, far, far more numerous than was ever heerd of in Jonesville, or the world ; and I — inwardly callin' on the name of John Rogers — hear her so on, and don't call Doodle all#> nothin , or argue with her on Wimmen's Bights. My mean ia calm and ■oble ; I am nerved almost completely up hy principle ; and then, it is dretful wrcn- chia' to the arm to hit h.iid blows ag'inst nothin'. Truly, if anybody don't know anything, you can't git any sense out of 'em. You "might jest as well go to reckonin' up a hull row of orts, expectin' to have 'em amonut to ^jsunthin'. Ort times ort is ort, and nothin' ;\l«e ; and ort from ort leaves nuthin' every :ime, and nothin' to carry ; and you may , 'i,dd up ort after ort, all day, and you won t i"-liave nothin' but a ort to fall back on. And ^; f with the Widder Doodle, you may pump ^ jier mind till the day of pancakes, (as a pro- pane poet observes, ) and you won't git any- ->hing but a ort out of it, — speakin' in a fthmatio w»y. ^ .. Not that she is to blame for it, oome to !)k at it in a reasonable and soientifio ^ase. All %gera in Ufe can't count up the . ime way. There's hem that count one, — jiade so ; got a little common sense unbe- I i!^ .mown to them. Then there's some that !!lonble on that, and count two, — more sense, ' md can't help it ; and all the way up to Sine ; and then there is the orts — made orts Icntirely unbeknown to them ; and so, why mould figures seven, or eight, or even nine, |M)ast themselves over the orts. ? Truly, we all have abundant reason to be fumble, and feel a humiliatin' feelin'. The »Siggest figgers in this life don't count up any ,^o high, don't know any too much. And ' the figgers put tottether, big and little igled in with orts, all make up a curious that our heads baiu't strong enough to ;ger out straight It is a sum that is bein rked out by a strong mind above oar'n, we can't see the answer yet, none 4»n us^ h% A DEBATB OX IBTTBail-BKANi B, t^LMt Tuesday eveuin' the "Creation Search* r ^ Society" argued on this questi^on. "Besolved;It is right to licence in- temperance." Cornelius Cork, the President, got up and ^ve the question out, and then a stem ma- jestic look swept over his face, some like a thunder cloud, and says he, pintin' out his forefinger nobly : " Brother 'Creatien Searchers,' and friends aud neighbours promiscous. Before we tackle this momentous subject to-night 1 have got a little act of justice to preform which if I shirked out of doin' of it, would send my name down to posterity as a coward, a rank traitor, and almost a imposter. The public mind is outraged at the present time, by officers in high places provin' traitors to their trust ; traitors to the confidin' public that have raised 'em up to their high stations The pubUo of Tonesvaie will find that / am not one of that kind, that / am not to be trifled with nor will / be 8edi\vTed by flattery or gifts, to permit them that have raised me up to the height I now stand on; to be trifled with." ' Here he paused a moment, and laid his forefinger on his heart and looked round on us, as if he was invitin' us all to take our lanterns and walk through it, and behold its purity. That gesture took dretful well with the audience. The President realized it, he see what he had done, and he kep' the same position as he proceeded and went on. " Every one who was present at the last meetin' of our 'Creation Searchin' Society' knows there was a disturbance there. They know and I know that rijght in the midst of our most searchin' investigations, some un- principled villain in the disguise of humanity outraged us, and insulted us, and defied us bybhmmin'; in other words by yellin' out •HUml Bliml' every few minutes. And now I publicly state and proclaim to that blimmer, that if he blims here to-night, I will put the papers onto him. I will set the law at him. I'll see what Blackstone and Coke has to say about blimmin'." He hadn't no more'n got the words out of his mouth, when "Bliml" came from one side of the house, and "Blim 1 Blim I" came from the other side." Nobody couldn't tell who it was, there was such a crowd. Cornelius Cork's face turned as red as a root-a-bagy beet, and he yelled out in the awfulest tone I have ever heard him use — and if we had all been polar bears right from the pole, he couldn't have took a more deadly aim at u* ' with that awful forefiuger: " Stop that blimmin' instantly I" His tone wns so loud and awful, and his gesture so fearfully coinin^^ndiu' aifd threat- enin', that the house was as still as a niioew b'«'l ■ \ A DEBATE ON INTEMPERANCE. ance iu. *' np and Jike a out his Yoa could hear a clothM-pia drop in any jiart of it. Here he set down, and the meetin' began. Eider Easy was on the affirmative, and Thomas J. on the nesative, aa they call it. Elder Eavy ia a first rate man, and a good Erovider, but awful conservative. He be- eves in doin' jest as his 4 fathers did every time round. If anybody should offer to lot him look at the other side of the moon, he would My gently but sweetly : " No, I thank yon, my 4 fatheis never see it, and so I would rather be excused from behold- in' it if you please." He is polite as a bas- ket of chips, and well meanin' ; I haint a doubt of it in my own mind. But he and Samantha Allen, late Smith, differs ; that female loves to look on every side of a heavenly idee. I respect my 4 fathers, I think a sight of the old men. They did a good work in outtin' down stumps and so 4th. I honor ' em ' respebt their memory. But cities stand now where they had loggin' bees. Times change, and we change with 'em. They had to rastle with stumps and brush-heaps, it was their duty ; they did it, and conquered. And it is for us now, who dwell on the smooth places they cleaied for us, to rastle with principles and idees. Have loggin' bees to pile up old rusty brushwood of unjust laws and customs, and set fire to 'cm and burn 'em up root and branch, and plant in their ashes the seeds of truth and right, that shall yet wave in a golden har- vest, under happier skies than ourn. If we ion't, shidl we be doin' for posterity what they did for us T for we too are posterity, though mebby we don't realize it, as as we ortto. But Elder Easy, although he lives in the f resent time, is m spirit a 4 father (although don' say it in a runnin' way at all, for I like 'em, 'have swapped hens with him and her, and neighboured with 'em considerable.) He was on the likker side, not that he wants to get drunk, or thinks anything particular of likker himself, but he believes in mode- rate drinkin', because hia 4 fathers drank moderate. He believes in lioeusin' intern- perance because hia 4 fathers was licensed. And Shakespear Bobbet was «' bis side, and old Mr. Feediok, and the Editor of the Auger, (he is a democrat and went forfdavery strong, felt like death when the slaves waa set free, and now he wants folks to drink «U they ean, goes for intemperance strong. He drinks, so they say, though I wouldn t have it go from Josiah or me for the world.) And BoToBBOu Cypher WM on that side. Hft drinks. AndSimon Slimpsey; howanmefer, he haint of much account any way, he has Abnost ruined himself with the, hors^iv* He has 'em every day stiddy, and sometimes two and three times a day. Hetoldaneif^ bourin' woman that he hadn't been out of 'em sense the day he waa married to Betsy, she was so uncommon mean to him. I told her when ahe was a tellin' me about it (she is a real news*bearer, and I didn't want to say anything she could carry back), I mere- ly observed in a cool wa^ : "I have always had my opinion about oungers, and wimmen that didn t want no rights, I have kep' my eye on 'em, I have kep' my eye on their husbands, and my mind haint moved a inch concemin' them from the place it stood ir- more formally." I didn't sav no more, not wantin' to run Betsy to her back, and then truly, as a deep thinker observes in one of his orations, "a dog that will fetch a bone, will carry one." On Thomas Jefferson's side was himself, the Editor of the Ojjnlet, Lawyer Nugent, Doctor Bombns, Elder Morton, and Whit< field Minkley — six on each side. Thoma^ Jefferson spoke first, and he spoke welll that I know. I turned right round and giv^ lister Minkley a proud happy look severs times while Thomas J. was a talkin' ; sh| sot right behind me. I felt well. And hunched Jonah several times when he sail his best things, and he me, for we both f e| noble in mind to hear him go on. His first speech was what they call easy, or sunthin' considerable like thall Josiah said when we was a goin' home thd they called it an essence, but I told hH I knew better than that. He contended and I told him I would leave it to ThomI J. but it slipped my mind. Howsumever f haint no matter ; it is the thing itself thj Josiah Allen's wife looks at, and not tl name of it. The easy— or sunthin' like] — run as followa : I believe my soul I |pt the exact words down, for I listened it with every ear I had, and upheld by thoughts of the future generations, and thi oanse of Bight, I kinder took it out of hj overcoat pocket the next day, and read over seven times from beginnin' to end. should have read it eight times, if I had hi time. He seemed to be a pryin' into what tH chief glor^ and pleamre of gettin' drui oonaiated in; he said the shame, the despal and the ruin of intMsperance anyone coal Me., And he pictured out the ^(ony off ^rnnkaBd'a home, till there wasn't a dry in my head, nor Joaiah's nuther. And Mid, inwindin' up, (I shan't put down t| hull on't, for it would b« teo long) but elosin' up of it was : " I don't believe tiMrtda a sadder sight men or angels, than to im a man made tke image of Ood .wtlfolly casting his heritage of noble and true manhc IG JOSIAll N'S WIFE. •lipping the handcuffs over his own wrists; kiul uffering himself a willing captive to the oiighUr but invincible wine spirit. '• No slave bound to the chariot wheels of ft conqueror is so deplorable a sight as the captive of wine. His face does not shine tike the face of an angel, as did a captive iu the old time— but with so vacant and foolish an expression, that you can see at once that be is hopelessly bound, body, mind, and soul to hts conqueror's chariot. ' And a wonder- , ful conqueror is he, so weak in seeming as to hide beneath the ruby glitter of a wine cup, and yet so mighty as to fill our prisons with criminals, our asylums with lunatics — and our graveyards with graves. Mightier than Time or Death, for outstripping time, he ploughs premature furrows on the brow of manhood and alienates affection Death has no power over. [i "I have often marvelled where the chief glory of dissipation came in. Its evil effects 'i were always too hideously palpable to be )) misunderstood; but itx what consists the i gloating pleasure for which a man is willing ^ to break the hearts of those who love him, bring himself to beggary, endow his children 'I with an undeserved heritage of shame, de- > ^ fttrov his intellect, ruin his body, and im- [I; peril his soul, is a mj^stery. '$ " I have wondered whether its chief bliss i consisted in the taste of the cup ; if so, it I must be indeed a delicious enjoyment, tn«n- ■Jlfk sitory as it is, for which a man would be l^willingto lose earth and heaven. Or if it I were in that intermediate stage, before the ! diviner nature is entirely merged in the (animal — the foolish stage, when a man is so [affectionately desirous of doing his full duty I by his hearers, that he repeats his common- fest remarks incessantly, with a thick tongue ' and thicker meaning, and if sentimentally inclined, smiles, oh, how feebly, and sheds such very foolish tears. In lookin' upon ■uch a scene, another wonder awakens in me, whether Satan, who with all hie faults f *f: is uncommonly intelligent, is not ashamed i j^' of his maudlin friend. Or is the consnmma- ^ tion of glrtry in the next stage, where with I 'V oaths and curses a man dashes his clenched fists into the faces of his best friends, pur- sues imaginary serpents and fieqds, thrusts his wife and children out into the cold night i of mid-winter, and bars against them the ] doors of home. And home 1 what a desecration [of thnt word which should be the synonym of jrest, peace, and consolation, is a drunkard's [home. Or is the full measare of pleasure attain* sd when he, th« noblest work of God, is itretohed out at his full six feet lensthof an- Bonsdousnsss, stupidity and degradation. "Ifthers be a lonely woman amid the ^wultitads of Ions wf sorrowfal women, more to be pitied than another, I think it ip a wife lookin' upon the one she has promised to honour, lying upon the bed with his hat and boots on. Her comforter, who swore at her as long as he could speak at all. Her protector, utterly unable to brush a fly from bis o\t'n face. Her companion, lying in all the stupor of death, with none of its solemn dignity. As he is entirely unconscious of her acts, I wonder if she never employs the slowly pissing moments in taking down her old idol, her ideal, from its place in her memory, and comparing it with ics broken and defaced image before her. Of all the poor broken idols, shattered into fragments for the divine patience of womanhood to gather together and cement with tears, such a ruin as this SMms the most impossible to mould anew into any form of comeliness. And if there is a commandment seemingly impossible to obey, it is for a woman to love a man she is in deadly fear of, honour a man she can't help being ashamed of, and obe^ a man who cannot speak his commands in- telligibly.' It was a proud moment for Josiah Allen and me, to hear Thomas J. go on ; and to- have the hull house so still, while be was makin' his eloquent speech, that you could hear a clothes-pin drop in any part of the room. And though my companion, per- fectly carried away by his glad emotions, hunched me several time harder than he had any idee of, and almost gored my ribs with hiselbo, I didn't, as you may say, seem to sense it at all. And though in hunchin' and bein' hunched, I dropped more'n 20 stitches in Josia^'s socks, I didn't care for that a mit-t ; I had plenty of time to pick 'em ujp du; n' the next speech, which was the Edi- tor of the Augers'es (he has got over the zebra, so's to be out. ) I have said, and I say still, that I never see a man that would spread a idee out thin- ner than he will,— cover more ground with it. Talk about Ingy Rubber stretchin', — why that man will take one small thought and pull it out and string on enough oig words to sink it, seemin'ly. Howsumever, his talk did jest about as much good on Thomas J's side, as on hisea, for he didn't seem to pay any attention to the subject, but give his hull mind to stringin' big words onto his idees, and then stretchin' 'em out as fur as human strength can go. That, truly, was his strong pint. But just as he bent his knees and begun to set down, he kinder straightened up again and said the only thing that amounted to a hi ng. He said, — keepin' folks from sellin' li ker is taken' away tneir rights. " "Riffhtsl" says Thomas Jeffsrson, jumpin' aiK>n his feet ths minttW A DEBATE ON IXTKMPERANCK. 17 'hink it ip promised h his hat swore at all. Her I fly from ing iD ail )s solemn loious of (loys the lown her e in her s broken all the 'agments hood to krs, such ssible to neliness. emingly to love ir a man obey a ada in- hft set down. "Rights ! The first riqht and law of onr n.-tture, is self-prest-rvatiDn, and what safety has any man while the streets are filled with men turned into crnzcd brutes by this tralfic you are uphoklin'? Every one kiiows that a drunken man en- tirely loses for the time his reasoning facul- ties, his morality and his conscience, and is made ripe for any crime. That he is jest as ready to rob and murder innocent citizens as to smoke his pipe. So if you and I lend our influence and our votes to make intem- perance l«gal, we makn arson, burglary, rape, robbery, murder, legal. Tell me a man has a right to thus plant the seeds of crime and . murder in a man's soul, and imperil the safety of the whole community. Why, the Bible says, that if a man let loose a wild ox, and it gored men with its horns and killed them, the men that let it go loose should surely be put to death. " Here Simon Slimpsey got up, kinder hang- in' on to the bench, and made h dretful simple sort of a wink with one eye, and says he : " Them haint the kind o' horns we are a talkin' about, we are talkin' about takin' a horn of whisky now and then." " Yes," said Thomas J., " there was never a more appropriate name ; for if there ever were horns that gored, and stabbed, and killed, it is these.'" Elder Easy spqjte out, and says he — "The Bible says : ' take a little wine for the stomach's sake.' " Bat Elder Morton jumped up, and says he — " There was two kinds of likker i n ear - lier times ; one that was anfermenCeii and harmless, and contained no alcohol or any principle of intoxication, and another that contained this raging mocker." Then old Peedick spoke up. Says he — " Likket would be all right if it wasn't for the adultery in it : poison stuff, wormwood, •ndetoetery." 9at Pr. Bombus jumped up^ and says he— " Nothing that can be pat into it, can be worse poipon thao the pure alcohol itself, for that is a rank poison for which no antidote has ever been found ; useful for medical pur- poses, like some other poisons : arsenic, opium, Uodapum, «,nd so 4th." Bat old Peedick kep' a mutterin'— "I know there's adultery in it;" and kep' a goin' on till Cornelius Cork, the President, Mt him down, and choked him off. Solomon Cypher spoke up, and says he : " No I license bills don't do no good ; there is more likker drunk when there haint no licence, than when there is. If you hinder man from sellin' it, another will." I d«clMre that excited me so, that entirely unbeknown to myself, I spoke right out loud to Josiali : "Good land ! of all the poor excuses! ever heerd, that is the poorest. If I don't kill my grandmother, somebody else -vvill ; or she'll (lie herself, of oid age, or sunthin'; good laud ! " The sound of my voice kinder brought my mind back, and Josiah hunched me hard, and I went to knittin' dretful fast. Whit- field looked round to me and kinder smiled^ and says he, right out in uieetin': "That's so. Mother Allen !" I declare for't 1 didn't know whether I was seamin' two and one, or towin off, or in the narrowins. I was agitated. But Whitfield went right on, for it was his turn. His speech was about licencing wrong : admitting a tiling was wrong, evil in itself and evil in its <)ffeots, and then al- lowin' folks to carry on the iniquity, if they'd pay enough for it. It was about giv- in' folks the privilej^e of bein' mean, for money ; about a nation sellin' the right to do- wrong^ and so 4th. Whitfield done well ; I know it, and Tir- zah Ann knows it. Jest as quick as he sot down, Solomon Cypher got up and said he — with an air as ii the argument he was •bout to bring forred, would nring down the school-house, convince everybody, and set the question to rest forever : "The way I look at it, is this:" said he, (smitin' his breast as hard as 1 ever see a breast smote,) "if there haint no licence, if a man treats me, and I want to treat him back again, where — " and again he smote his breast almost fearfully,) " where will I git my likker to do it with. " "That's so ;" said Simon Slimpsey, " thee he has got you ; you can't git round that." Then Thomas J. spoke and brought up facts and Aggers that nobody couldn't git over, or crawl round ; proved it right out, that intemperance caused more deaths than war, pestilence, and famine ; that more than half the cringes committed in the Unite 1 States could be traced back to drin'^ ; and eighty OQt of every hundred wm helpt:d on by it. And then he went on to tell bow they transmitted the curse to their children, and how, through its effects, infant babes was born drt^nkards, idiots, and criminals, en- tirely unbeknown to them ; th*t the in- fluence of our free schools is destroyed by the influence of the other free schools the nation allows for the childern ef the people — the dram shops, and other legalized places of min— that while the cries (3 |be starving and: naked were filling our eats from all sides,. Mvenhondrttd millions of dolUrs were |»n- BV«Uy spent for intoxioatin' dillik. Instead -IS oOSlAU ALLLN'd WAFK 3f tpendin' these miUIona for food and cloth- In' for the perishia* we apent them for ig- uoraace, beaatlincM, taxation, erime, dee- pair, madness and death. " Says he : " The cost of likker-drinkin', from 1861 to 1870, was six thousand millions of dollars. Add to that, the labour in raisin' .the grain to make it ; all the labour of distillin it ; all the leas of labour the drinkin' of it entailed ; the sickness, and crimes that resulted from ita use ; the ships that went down in mid- ocean, through the drunkenness of their crews — engulfin* thousands of lives ; the ghastly rauroad accidents that fill our news- papers with long death-lists ; the suicides and thousands of fatal accidents, all orer the land, caused by it ; the robberies and murders, and the cost of tryin' the criminals, buildin' the prisons, penitentiaries and jails, and supportin' them therein ; the alms-houses for the pau- pers made b^ it ; the asylums for the insane, and the hirin' of officers and attendauts to take care of them. Imagine the sum-total if you can, and add to it, the vix thousand millions of dollars, — and all spent for that which is not only useless, but ruinous. i'1 And honest, sober citizens consent to have their property taxed to support this system. •' What if this enormous amount of money was spent by our government, for the com- p'jlsoiy education of the children of the poor ; takin' them from their wretched haunts an 1 dens — schools of infamy, where they are bein' educated in criminality— aud teachin' them to be honest and self-sup- portin*. What a marvelous decrease of crime there would be ; what a marvelous increase of the national wealth and respec- tability." He said he had been lookin' upon the subject in a financial point of view, fur its moral effects could not be reduced to statis- tics. Says he : '* Now, with our boasted civilization, we support four drinkin' saloons to one church. Which exerts the widest influence? In one 'Of the finest cities of New England, there are to-day, ten drinkin' saloons to one 4:hurch, and a buildin' owned by the Gov- ernor of the state has two drinkin' saloons in it, the rum-sellers hiring directly of him. The Indians, Buddhists, and Brahmins, the savage and heathen races, whom we look down upon with our wise and lofty pity, are «nr superiors in this matter, for they know noihiog of drunkenness till we teach them. How will it be looked upon by the Righteous Jndgs above, that with all our efforts to eran^alice the heath tn ; our money offerin's of miUions of ' loUats ; uur life offerin's of toaohers aud missionaries; our loud talkin' aiftd our lo^g prayers ; after all the efforts of the Christian world, the facts faca us : that for one heathen who is converted to Christ by the preachin' of the tonsue of our civilised race, one thousand sober heathen are made drunkards by the louder preachin' of our example ; are made by us — if we believe the Bible — unfit fur ever euterin' the heaven we make such powerful efi'orts to tell them of." -'And " says he, " the sufferin' intemper- ance has caused cannot possibly be reckoned up by figgers,— the shame, disgrace, and desolation, wretchedness to the guiltless, as well as the guilty. The blackness of de- spair that is dark enou)j;h to veil the very h.javens from innocent eyes, and make then^ doubt the existence of God — who can per- mit a nation to make such a traffic respect- able aud protect it with the shadow of the law." Says he, " When you have licenced a man to sell likker, and, protected him by the law you have helped to make, he sells a pint of likker to a drunkard ; do you know what you and he are sellin' ? You know you are sellin' poverty, and bodily ruin, and wretchedness ; this you know. But you may be sellin' a murder, a coffin and a wiudiu'-sheet; sellin' broken hearts, and a desolate hearth-stone; sufferiu' to the inno- cent, that will outlast a lift- time ; ruin, dis- grace, despair, and the everlastiu' doom of a deathless soul. Tell me any one has a right to do this ? Men in their greed and self interest may make their wretched laws to sanction this crime, but God's laws aro mightier and will yet prevail." Every word Thomas J. said went right to my heart. You see, a heart where a child's head has laid asleep or awake — till it has printed itself completely onto it, that heart seems to be a holdin'it still when the head's got too large to lay there bodily (as it were. ) Their wrong acts pierce it right through, and their noble doin's cause it to swell up with proud happiness. Dr. Bombus bein' dretful excited ria right up, and says he, " How any good man can sanction this infamous traffic, how any min- ister of the Gospel " But here the President made the Dr. set down, for it was Elder Easy's turn. And the Elder eot up. I see he waa kinder touched up by what the Dr. had said, and he made a long speech abont what he thought it was a minister's place to do. He thought it wasn't their plaoe to meddle in political matters. I kinder got it into my head from what he said, though he didn't say it right out, that he thought there was bad men enough to make enr laws without good men meddlin' with 'em. And in wiud- iu' up he said he thought ministers took too Acti hee it the tho bet A DEBATE ON INTEMPERANCE. It B* ui : that i to Christ >ur oiviliMd n are made im' of our believe the the heaven >u tell them i' intemper- )e reckoned grace, and {uiltless, as less of de- I the Terj make them can per* ic respect- dow of the iced a man by the law a a pint of enow what enow you ruin, and But you offin and a a, and a the inno- ruin, dis- doom of I' one has a greed and Lsbed laws laws ar« t right to 9 a cliild's :iU it has hat heart the head's 8 it were. ) :ough, and up with ria right man can any min- here the or it was I he was had said, what he do. He neddlein into Diy le didn't here was without in wind- took too •otive a part in the Temperance move; he heerd of ministers preachin' sermons about it on Sunday, and thoush he had no doubt they meant well, stifl, he must say he thought there was other subjects that was better fitted for good men to hold forth and improve upon. He thought the cross of Christ, warnin' sinners to keep out of a future hell, was better subjects for 'em, and then said the Bible was full of beautiful themes for Sunday discourses, such as the possibility of recognizin' our friends in a , future world, and so 4th. Thomas J. got up and answered him. Says he, "The subject of recognizin' our friends in a future world is a beautiful one, and worthy of much thought. But I think it is commendable to try to keep our friends in a condition to recognize us in this world, tr^ to keep a man while he is alive, so he will know his own wife and children, and not tnm them out into the storm of a winter midnight^ and murder them in his mad frenzy. " Jest at this minute — when Thomas J. was goin' on his noblest— some unprincipled oreeter and no nothing — whoever it was — yelled out "Bliml" again, and Cornelius Cork, the President, bein' on a keen watch for iniquities, jumped out of his seat as if he had been shot out of it with a shot- gun. And he lifted up his head nobly aud walked down the aisle of the school-house, in jest that proud triumphant way that Napoleon walked along on top of the Alp, and with that same victorious mean of a con- queror onto him, with his forefinger pinted out firmly and calmly, and almost nobly, he exclaimed in loud, glad tones, and the ma- jestioest I ever heerd in my life: " I've catched him at itl I've catohed the blimmer! I heerd him blim! I seen him I I seen him when he was a blimmin'i Ike Qan- sey, I fine jon ten cents and oost for blim- • IS m%n," Here he collared him, dragged him out by the seat of his breeches, and shot the door in his face, and oame back pantin' for breath, but proud and victorious in his mean. Then the Editor of the Auger got up to make the elosine speech, when aU of a sudden the door opened, and in walked Miss Gowdey. I thought in a minute she looked dretful kinder fiustrated and awe-struck. She sot right down by me — Josiah had gone across the sohool-honse to speak to Whitfield on business — and says I: "What is the matter, sister Gowdey!" kt he don't care whether he works ut his trade or not; so there (leemi to b«a clear road for Whitfield. And they are a goin to have a honse of their own before long— thoagh nobody knows a word about it, only lest Tirzah Ann's pa, and me. I attod Josiah to snve Tirsah Ann her portion, now. Says I — " They are a stiddy, likely, equinomical couple, and wont run through it; why not give 'em a start now, When they need it, aa well as to wait until von and I die. and have 'em kinder lookin f orred and 'hankerin* after oar shoes, ' as the poet says." SayAl— "give her her talent now Josiah, and let h^r improve on it." Says I— "less buy 'em a hotise, Josiah Allen; they wont ran through it, I know they wont." I wonld sejest this to Josiah Allen, evei^ little while; but he hung ofiF. Josiah is close, (but honest.) But I kep a sejestin' and I kep' a 'swaidin', and finally he gav* his consent. We are goin to buy 'em a neat little cream- coloured house, with green blinds, right on the age of the village. We have got our eyes on it now, Josiah and me have; and to speak more plain, and let out a secret — which mutn't go no further — we have got a contract of it. The man can't give a clear deed till 1st of September. This house and the one next to it — which is jest exactly like it — are kinder set off by themselves, and are the handsomest, pleas- antest places in Jonesville, and everybody says so. I told Josiah he couldn't do better than to buy one of 'em, and he sees it now; he feels well. In the back garden is fruit trees of all kinds, and berry vines, and bushes, and a well of soft water ; two acres of land, " be it more or less : to wit, namely, and so 4th, a runnin' up to a stake, and back again, to wit" Josiah read it all off to me ; he is a great case to read deeds and insurance papers, and so 4th. He thinks they are dretful agreeable readin*. I know when we was first married, and he wanted to use me so awful well — bein' jest married, he naturally wanted to make lum- self agreeable and interestin' to me— and so to happyfy me and keep mefjom bein' home- sick, and endear hinuelf stiliinore to me, he Irould draw out his tin trunk from under the bed and read over deeds and mortgages to me by the hour. But I didn't encourage him in it, and kinder broke it up ; but he loves to read 'em to this day ; and I felt so neat over this contract that I let him read the. hull thing right through, and was glad to hear it, though it took him one hour by the clock. He reads slow, and then there were so mft«y whereases, and namelyi^ and %• i 'n JO.SIAH ALLEN S WIFE. fti I. % witi, that h« would ^t baulked every few minutes. He would sit to wanderin' round in 'em— git perfectly Tost— and I'd have to lay holt and help him out. We are goin' to git a deed of the home, unbeknown to Whitfield and Tirsah Apn, and make 'em a present of it. They was married the 14th day of September, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon — jest the time Jo- siah was bom — so I told Josiah that I would bake up aa nice vittles as I could, and enough of 'em— enoush to last a week or ten days — and we would have supper all ready in the new house, jest the day of the month and the time of the day he was bom and they was married, and invite 'em over ; and we'd have Thomas Jefferson and Maggie Snow, and the Widder Doodle, and turn it into a sort of 4th of July — keep the day in a kind of camp-meetin', holiday style. I believe in workin' and earniu' yer honest bread, etc. and so 4th ; but still, i believe in makin' things agreeable and pleasant, very. We Americans, as a nation, are a dretful anxiouB'lookiu', hard-workin', long-faced, ambitious, go-ahead race, and we tackle a holiday as if it was a hard day's work we had got to git through with jest as q|uick as we could, and we face enjoyments with con- siderable the same uouuteuance we do fune- rals. But I am layin' out now to take a good deal of comfort the 14th of next Sep- tember, Providence permittiu'. I think a ai^ht of Tirzah Ann. I've done well by her, and she sees it now ; she thinks a sight of old mother, I can tell you. She enjoys middlin' poor health now-a-days, and her pa and I feel anxious about her, and we talk about her a good deal nights after we git to bed ; and I wake up and think of her considerable, and worry. And truly, if anybody is goin' to set up in the worry business, nights is the best time for it in the hull twenty- four hours; middlin'-sized troubles swell out so in the dark ; tribulations that haint bjr daylight much bigger'u a pipes-tail, at midnight will look bigger'n a barn. I de- clare tor't, I've had buimets before now, that didn't suit me, — was trimmed up too gay, or eom« over my face too much, or sunthin', and when I'd wake up in the night and think on 'em, they'd look as big to me as a bushel basket, and humblier ; and I'd lay and ■weat to think of ever wearin' 'em to meet- in' ; but ab daylight, they would kinder dwindle down again to their natural shape. And so with other sufferin's that come tougher to me to bear. When I was a bring- in' up Thomas Jeffersom, tryin' to git him headed right, how many times he has s^ od before me at midnight as a blaok-leg — ' *b legs as black as a coal, both of 'em ; — a pirate ; * burglar ; ha has burgled his ' a aii4 «e. nikht after nigbt ; f«t Joneaville afire ; burnt New York viUojrp to ashes ; and has swung hiinself on the gallows. And Tirzah Ann has had oanoen \ and children ; and consumption ; and has been eloped with ; and drownded in the canal, nignt after night ; but good land ! in the momin' thechildern was all right, "rhe sun* shine would shine into my heart like the promises i the Bible to them that try te brine up their childera in the fear of the Lord; and I could lay holt of them promises and feel first rate. And Josiah Allen ! I s'pose I have buried that man as man^ times as he has got hairs on his head, (he is pretty bald), wnen he'd have a cold or anything. I'd wake up in the latter part of the night, when it was dark as Egyptian darkness, and I'd git to thinkin' and worryin', and before I knew it, there Josiah would be all laid out and the proces- sion meanderin' off towards Jone'^ville bury in' ground, and I a follerin' him, a weepin' widder. And there I'd lay and sweat about it ; and I've ^one so far as to see myself lay dead by the Bide of him, killed by the feel- in's I felt for that man ; and there we'd lay^ with one stun over us, a readiu' : "Here lays Josiah and Samantha: Their warfare Is accomplished. Oh ! nobody knows the feeliu's I would feel there in the dead of night, with Josiah a snorin' peacefully by my side. But jest as quick as the sun would rise up and build up his tire in the east, and Josiah would rise up and build up his lire in the stove, why them ghosts of fears and anxieties that haunted me, would, in the language of the poem Thomas J. was reading the other day : — Fold up their tents like a Arab man and silently go to stealin' somewhere else. And I'd git up and git a splendid breakfast, and Josiah and I would enjoy ourselves first rate. Tlicre is sunthin' in the sunlight that these phantoms can't stand ; curious, but so it is. Their constitution seems to be like the Serious fiower that blows out in the night. These serious ghosts — as ^ou may say— are built jest right for livin' in the dark ; they eat darkness and gloom for a livin', die off in the daytime, and then resurrect them- selves when it comes dark, ready to tackle anybody again, and haunt 'em, and make 'em perfectly miserable for the time bein'. But truly, I am a episodin'; and to resoom and go on : Tirzah ■ann. as I said, come down a visit- in'; she brougnt down a little pail of canned sweet corn, all fixed for the table. I thought that sweet corn would be the death of the Widder Doodle ; it made her think so of Doodle. " Oh 1" says she, " when I think how I TIRZAH ANN AS A WIFE. hink how I «Md to raUe iweet corn in my gftrden, and how Mr. Doodle would let oat on the back stoop and read to me them beautiful argu- menu ag^'init wimmen'a rights, when J was a hoeiu' it ; and how he would enjoy eatin' it when I'd cook it, it seems as if I can't stand it ; and shant I never see that man T" says she, "shant I never see th«t dear line- ment again?" And she out with her snuff handkerchief and covered her face with it. Whether she cried or not, I don't know. I shant say she did, or didn't ; but she went through with the motions, that I know. Tirzah Ann was all offen the hooks, yes- terday, she fell down-hearted and nervons. She is dretfal nenroos lately ; but I tell Josiah that I've seen other wimmen jest as nerrons, and I have ; and they got over it, and Tirzah Ann wilL There was she that was Celestine Gowdey, she was so nervous — I've heerd her mother say — her husband was most afraid of his life ; she would throw anything at him — the tea-pot, or anythino; — if he said a word to her she didn't like ; Bcalded him a number of times, real bad. But he, bein' considerable of a family man — he had had three wives and fourteen or fif* teen childem, before he married Celestine — didn't mind it, knowin' what wimmen was, and that she'd git over it and she did ; and 80 will Tirzah Ann. It comes considerable hard on Whitfield now, but he will git over it and wont miud bein' scolded at, if it rains, or if it don't rain, or if the old oat has kit> tens. After dinner the Widder Doodle went np stairs and laid down for a nap, as she makes a practice of doin' every day ; and glad enough was I to see her go. And after she had laid down and our ears had got rested off, and I had got the work all done up, and Tirzah Ann and me had sot down to our. sewin' — she was doin' some fine sewin' and I laid to and helped her — as we sot there all alone by ourselves she began on me, and her face lengthened down a considerable number of inches longer than I had ever seen it as she went on : She was afraid Whitfield didn't think so much of her as he used to ; he didn't act a mite as he used to when he was a ooartiu' of her. Didn't kiss her s« much in a week now, as he used to one Sunday night. Didn't set and look at her for hours and hours at a time, as he did then. Didn't seem to be half as 'fraid of her wings spreadin' out, and takin' her up to heaven. Didn't seem to he a bit afraid of h-er goin' up bodily. Didn't call her "seraph" any more, or "blessed old honey- eake,' or " neavenly sweetness, " or " angel- pie." About all he called her now basidev Tirzah Ann, was "my dear." I see in a minute the cause of the extra deprested look onto her face that day, I see in a minute "where the shoe pinoned" as the poet says. And I see here was a cbanca for me to do good; and I spoke up real earn- est like, but considerable calm, and says I: "Tirzah Ann, that is a Hrst-rate word, and your husband WhitHeld Minkley hits the nai' on the head eve*-y time he says it. 'Dear!' that is jest what you are to him, and when he puts the ' my' onto it that tells the hull of the story; you are dear and you are hisen, that is the hull on't" Says I, in a real solemn and almost oamp-meetin' tone, " Tirzah Ann, yon are a sailin by that rock now that the happiness of a great many hearts founder on, that a ffreat many life- boats are wrecked on." Says I, "lots of happy young hearts have sailed smilin' out of the harbour of single blessedness, hit ag'inst that rock and gone down; don't you be one of 'em;" says I, " don't make a ship- wreck of the hapoiness of T. A. Minkley late Allen; histe up tne sail of common sense aud go round the rock with flyin' colours," and says I in agitated tones, " I'll help yon, I'll fut mv shoulder blades to the wheel. " And continued in almost tremblin' tones — as I trimmed off the edge of the linen cambric, and went to overcastin' of it: " I never could bear to see anybody want to set down and stand up at the same time,** says I, "it always looked so unreasonable to me." And says I: "Tirzah Ann, you are in the pame place; you want to be courted, and you want to be married at the same time; you want a husband and you want a bo out of the same man, simultaneous, as it were. " Says I: "Truly we can't have everything we want at on« time. There is a time for apple trees to blow out, rosy colour — sweet — with honey bees a hummin' round 'em; and there is a time for ripe fruit and applo sass. We can't have good sleighiu' in hot weather, we can't be drawed out to *, peach tree to eat ripe peaches on a ha d sled. Slid in' down hill is fun, but you caiJt slide downhill over sweet clover blows, for clover and snow don't blow out at the same time. And yon can't have peace, and rest, and quiet of mind at the same time M'ith delerious enjoyment, and highlarious mirth. " There is as many kinds of happiness as 'there is stars 'in the heavens,' and no two stars are alike, they all diffv^r from each other in their particular kind of glory. " Now courtin' is considerable fun, sttn- thin' on the plan of catchin a bird, kind o resky and uncartin' but excitin' like, and considerable happyfyin'. To set down after a good supper, contented and quiet, by JOSlAli ALLEIS'S Wisiiu. \' It « biinl^t fir«Bide with yonr knittia' worli :«nd yoar affeotionate pardi^er fait asltep Ana ^ anorm' in the arm ohair (Opposite, ift iftno^ier kind of happiness, nothin* deleriqus •nor hii^larious about it, bat considerable •comfortin' And consolin' after aU. Kow you have got a good affectioniette husband Ti^za^ Ann, a man that wHt lobk out for, your com- fort, do well by yoa, and be a good piovtdeV^^; 4nd you musn't expect to keep the lover. ; I mean, you musn't expect him to go through Irith all the performances he used to i^hen he wkstryin^to j[et ybii ; why it is as un- reasonable as anything in the world can be ■nreasonable." "Now," says I, "there's your pa and ma, Tirzab Ann; we have lived together in the neighbourhood of twenty years, and we are ^attached to each other with a firm and cailt- iron affection, our love for each other towfers mised tohavehim. Why, when we gdt ^nig.:i{ed he waAii't much more'n itkin and bone^. But good land i he eats enough now to mak: it up; we hadn't been matrieid a month L%fore he'd eat everything that iriu put befoiohim, and instead of settin' down ftnd talkin' strange at me, or jumpin' up as if he wau shot to open the door — so 'fraid that I wo ..Id strain myself openin' a door — why, he ;">uld set and whittle and let me «>-ait on myse.f just as natural — let me sprain lay back a re&'^nin' for things at the table, J.' bring in Wrod, or anything. Or he would J rop to sleep m his ohair, and sleep most snc hall eveiln'he f«lt so contented and Ljp.Pvinhis nind." I Me I WM iippressin' Tirzah 4-nn the wflu I "^tfuited fo^ana if made me feel so neat. tl^At I went io ulegorin, aal make a practice of ddin' real often, when I get eIo^,'.ient{ sunthin' in the Bunyan style, ot 1. r.oi so 16ng. It is a dretful impressive way of talkin'. Says L "S'poson a roan 'wiM a racih' fo way of racih' to t oflf with- i arms and Mtr offeu i Wouldn't after he y an eoiild id iAppy i to ; how ould 'keep pose he is rahmey he r Hwingin' a time for the boat, That w^ I time for or sweat, twas the I tryin' to t, jealous ery —that I the time itual run- ntimental got you, y as the )he eunis hollerin'. b a sailin' 3U |;o to isistin' on perform- j to catch d 3ge muclT n Tirzah Ilegorin'. >f inchea 1 he and | and we i ily there Wth two t Doodld; and she k. t Maggy im , and and it me 6rit tinal. ied ye But though I tell all this to Josiah Allen a tryin' to make him reconciled to the idee of lettin' Thomas J. go, though I keep a firm demeanour on the outside of me, nobody knows the feelin's 1 feel when I think of his goin' viat to hw. Why when Tirzah Ann was married, the day after ahe moved away, the feelin's I felt, the loner omeness that took holt of me, wore on me » • that I had to go to bed regular, on- dress, a ad everything. But I held firm there in the bed, I hung on to reason, and never iet on what ailed me. And Josiah and the Widder Doodle, was skairt moat to death about me, and sweat me — give me a hemlock sweat. And though I did'nt say nothin' thinka'es I to myself, with the bitter feelin's I have got inside of me, and a hemlock sweat on the outside, I am in a pretty hot place. But I presume that sweat was the beat thiug they could have done. It kinder opened the poura, and took my nund uffen my troubles. It was so oucommon disagree- able, and hard to bear, that I couldn't think of anything else while it was goin' on. And then it satiafied them, that waa why I let 'em go on with it ; it kinder took up their minds, and kep' 'em from talkin' to me every minute, and mournin' to me about Tirzah Ann's goin' away. Truly, feelin' as I felt, I could stand a hemlock sweat better than I could that But as I said more formally, I held firm there in the bed. Though my body waa wet with sweat, my mind was dry and firm, and my principles cool ami hefty. I knew it waa the wav o^ nater, what I ort to have expect- ed,,ana what was perfectly right, t couldn't expect to keep the children with me always, it was unreasonable. And though it would seem as lonesome and roomy as if one side of the house was gone, I must stand it the best I could. Now when a bird lets her young ones fly away from the old nest, I dare per- same to say, lots of memories almost haunt that oil bied's heart, of sweet May momin's, and the little ones ohirpin' in the nest. and her mate a workin' for 'em, and a singin' to 'em close by. I dare say she thought it all over, that old bird did, how the sweet May mornin' with it bloom and gay brightness, she couldn't never see again, and the little soft, dependent, lovin' things couldn't never come back to her heart again, to be loved and to be worked for, and she paid for that work every minute by watchin' their growin' strength and beauty. But she held firm — and when tiie time came for 'em to fly, she let 'em fly. No matter what sh« felt, upheld by duty and prmciple ahs Eushed 'em out of the nest herself. She eld firm, and so Samantha Allen is deter- mined to, she whose maiden name was Smith. If Thomas J. and Maggy could feel oon« tented to settle down in tfonesville after they was married, the cup of my happiness would be full and r^nnin' over, and so would Jo- siah's cup; for we could see him every day, or three times a day if we wanted to. But they have got a good doctor there now — Thomas J. has studied for a Doctor; soin' to get his sheepskin in July. Though I hay* aaid, and I aay still, that I never heard of such a present to give the last day of school as a sheepskin. And it looka to me as if his teachers was dretful hard up for presents, to have to fall back on a sheep-skin. I told Thomas J. that when a scholar had studied day and night aa he had for three yeara and over, it aeemed as if (if they waa goin' in to sheep presents at all), they ort to give him as much aa a live sheep, inatead of killing it and eatin' the mutton themselves, and givin' him the hide; howsumever, it haiut none ol my businesa, and if he is satiafied I ort to be. Old Dr. Bombua speaka dretful well of him, saya he is jest as good a Doctor to'day as he is; but folks have got kinder attached to the old Doctor, he bavin' helped their friends into life and out of it, for yeara, they natur- ally take to him, and there don't aeem to be much of any chance for a young Doctor, I think, and I know that Thomas J. and Mag* gy ' 1 ruther stay in Joneaville if it wasirt for v.iat — he and Maggy settle down by themselves there — than to go west. But if he makes up his mind to go, I am determined to put my aBoulder blades to the wheel, keep my mind stiddy and stabled, so's to do jus- tice to my own principles, and be a comfort to my Josiah. As I said, Thomas J. took Maggy over to Tirzah Ann'a in the mornin', a ciuoulatin'^ to stay to the Debatin' school, and I told Josiah we'd have an early supper, and go in good season. We had stewed oysters, and warm biscuit, and canned peaches, a first-rate sup* per, and Josiah said it was. And it went off dretful agreeable all but one thiag ; the Widder Doodle shed tears when Josiah and » eaay ah* P. A. AND P. I. 'i-% Idid. ■loom how and them ire >r I see ag:am, 711' thuigt »rt again, and ahe watolun' But she lie for 'em what she iciple sh* M. She is deter- ftme was feel oon* [after tliey less would could Jo« irery day, to. But now — . 'oin' to ghl ha?* heard of y of school me as if r presents, n. I told >d stndied years and goin' in to give him I killing it aud givin' it none ol I art to be. 511 of him, >-day as he ihed to the ir friends hey natur* seem to be Doctor, I and Mas* it wasn t down by But if etermiaed heel, keep o do jus- \ comfort eak of," says P. Cyphi Bumpus. "Kothin' worth mentionin, triflin' abstraction, a diminution, a witl drawal of funds, a emblezzlement.'' Oh, what feelin's I felt to hear 'em go on] but I didn't say a word to 'em, I don't ' lieve in a woman bein' bold and forred ia he demeanour. But to see every one on 'er givin' that stealin' a bigger and a bigge name, swellin' and jiuffin it out from frauj clear up to embezzlement, and no knowii where they would stop, if somebody didn) 28 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. interfere. I declare for't, it give me such f eelin's that I spoke right out to Josiah, and my tones sounded low and atrfial, for I heerd 'em uiib^kuOvm to me. . "Sayil, "Joftiah AUen, . what feelings «t makes me feel to see folks strain so, and hans baok from eatin' a gnat, and then . jswaller a elephant and a rinosterrons and a drumedary." Says I, "'When a poor man , in the case of sickQesa steals a onion attd a ' <;odfish, he is called a thief and a robber ; be is drummed ont of uamp, Mtt to jail, ' knocked down by public opinifdn. and kimced After he is down by the same, ifill he is com- pletely niortifie'i, and shftme aitd disgrace bow him foH^ard down into the* dust. But ' let a rich man steal all he can lay his hands to, and they think it is sunthin' pretty in him, so pretty that they make a hew name for it, and he wears that name like a feather in his cap. If he breaks down a purpose to cheat his creditors, they call it ' compromisin ' 'repudiation,' both of these names stand up like beautiful ■■': feathers over his forward, and he looks grand and feela so. .If he lays to and steals right out openly hundreds of thousands of dolurs I they have lots of curious and handsome I names to ornament him with, all the way f from defalcator and defioitor up to embezzler. 1^; Why, if some politician should stetd the M hull United States treasury, they would have ^ to make a new aet of names to trim him off- ** with, there wouldn't be none in the diction- ary half big and noble enough." t foUered my paidner almost mekanically iout of the store. What they said to my jback after I left, I know not. But we must |ill expect to be backbited some, eiee why do i|lwe have backs." In about seven minutes time we was seated J^ ia front of the Jonesville Oreation Searchers, )4|a listenin' to ft epicac poem from Shakespeare jBobbet— or that is how Josiah underatsood it; .''fl myself thonghtthey called itaepookpoem ; but Josiah said when we was a talkin' it over ^ a goin' home, that he would bet the colt it ? it was a epioao. d}^ Says he, " You know epicac means sun- jb!'! thin' kinder weakenin', and siokenin', and ^ , that is why such poems as hiaen are called Ui epioaes." m\ " Well,"eay« I, *'seein' ire haint either «f as certain, we w(m't lay out too much tj breath arguin' about it. Bat this I know, that the poetry was as looff and dreary as the desert of Samh, Mid as dry as Sarah ever was in her dryest times." It happened dretful kinder curious, but the quescion up that Sliight bclfore the Crea- tion Searchers was ^bout Kleptomania — another big name for stealin' that I never fceerd before— and they proved it out so beautiful, how Kleptomania worked in the system, and how anybody couldn't help stealin' who had the distemper. After they settled this to their own satis- faction, and the enlightenment of the world, the President got up and in a awful thrillin' and impressive manner, — and usein his ges- tOfe as handy as I ever see a a^esture used — ^Mat on and talked in a foamin' manner about th« Sentinal that was goin' to be at Filadelfy villase to celebrate old Eplnribus'es birthday ; and he went on for probable half an hour at>out its uncommon and amazin' bigness, and he said when all the rest of the celebrated men of America and the world was to be there, it didn't look well for them to hang bock, and shirk out of goin', and he motioned that the Creation Searchin' Society should send a body there, to encourage the Sentinal and collect information as a body, and he went on to say that if they concluded to send a boiy there, they would proceed to vote on who should be the body, and how many it should be. Solomon Cypher got up and said the name told on the face of it : Sen-ten-al. He said the doin's was named with the view that there would be ten sent there from the Jonesville Creation Searchin' Society. The minute he sot down, Simon Slimpsey got up loo kin' as if he would sink right down through the floor into the suUor. I'd seen that Betsey, bis wife had been a hunchin' and pokin' him, tryin' to make him git up, and whisperin' to him in a loud augry whisper. And says he in a heart broken tone: " If it will add any to the gloom and melancholy" — here Betsey give such a jerk at his coat skirts that he crum- pled right down for a minute, and his tone was akairt as he went on — "and highlarity of Filadelfy to have a poem sent by Betsey, I can carry it, I s'pose. " And he sank down a marmurin': " I may live through it, and I may not." And he almost buried his face in his right hand, and I think shed tears. . It come hard on Simon. But Solomon Cypher's face looked dark and severe, and he rose up and smote himself powerful and frequent as he said : " For the time bein' I represent the body. And speakin in the name of the body "which I now am I say, that we, the body cannot, and wiU not be trammelled and bound down by either poetry, or bed^uilts." (Two wim- men just in front of him was a whisperin' loud ; rampant to send a blazin' star and a sunflower.) " The body has got a great repu- tation to keep )-n, the eye or eyes of the dif* ferent globes u. ocmbled there will be on it, watchiu' the demeanor of the body and copyin' after it. A great reputation is to be kep' up." p. A AND P. I. St Here he made a low bow and set down. And Shakespeare Bobbet, Secretary of the Creation Searchers, eot up, and said as it was i doubtless the aim of all present to make as \ great a stir as possible in the literary and ' ■cientifio world, and as they were all a work- in' for that end, and as there was now nine shillings and six pence in the treasury, he proposed those moneys should be expended in purchasing spectacles for the body to wear »n the body. Ine editor of the Auger jumped up and seconded the motion, sayin' he hadn't a doubt about its inoreasin' its reputation for deep and scientific wisdom. And he thought large round eyes would be best adapted to givin' the body a wise look, and that heavy brass bows would help to give weight to its opinions. They all agreed on this and the motion was carried in triumphant. Then one feller who had been round to literary conventions a good deal and had got high notions in his head, proposed that the body should let their hair grow long in their necks ; he said it would be a great help to 'em. But as the President, and Solomon Cypher and the most of the head ones was as bald as a bald eagle — hadn't hardly a mite of hair on their heads — the motion was laid down under the table ; and they began to vote on who was to be sent. They voted in Cornelius Cork, and Solomon Cypher, and the Editor of lihe Auger, and Sbakes^are Bobbet and several others, and everythiniz seemed peaceful and happy— Solomon Cypher oountin' 'em se- renely out 6f his hat— When all of a sadden without no wamth' he jumped up, and bmrndished a vote in his hand, and yelled out in a voice a good deal like thunder : '* Who ! wher^ is the villain who ha« dared to demean lihis Aocidty and put it to idtome by votin' for a woman ? Wfiete is the wretch and the detibeailejr ? *' And he tooked as black and wrathful as an iron muii'.:et, and he struck himself ih th6 breast powerful blows, and with every smite he would call out for "that villian and de- meaner." It was a fearful time; but right when the excitement was rainin' most fear- fully, I felt a motion by the side of me, and my companion got up and stood on his feet and says in pretty firm tones, though some dieepish : " 1 did, and there's where I stand now ; [ vote for Samantha." And then he sot down again. Oh I the fearfnl excitement and confusion that rained down again. The President got up and tri«d to speak, the Editor of the Augur talked wildly, Shakespeare Bobbet talked to hinwalf iacoherently, but Solomon Cy- |^«r'a Tdbe drownded *cm all out, as nu kep' a smitin' his breast and a hollerin' that he wasn't goin' to be infringed upon, or come in contract with by no woman ! No female woman needn't think she was the equal of man ; and I should go as a woman or stay W hoiM. I was so almost wore out by their talk that I spoke right out, and says I, " Good land ! how did you s'poae I was goin' ? " The President then said that he meant, if I went I mustn't look upon things with the eye of a "Creation Searcher" and a man, (here he pinted his forefinger right up in the air and waved it round in a real free and soarin' way,) but look at things with the eye of a Private Investigator and a woman ; (here he pinted his fiuger firm and stiddy right down into the wood-box, and pan of ai^es,) it was impressive, very. Then he went on to ask me if I was willin' to go aa a woman, and with what eyes I vraa wiBin' to look at things. I kep' on a knittin' with considerable calm, and assured 'em with quite a lot of | dignity, that bein' a woman, I should proba- bly go as one, and not bein' blind, I should look at things with m^ own eyes. "But will you promise to look upon I things in a private way, not as a man and a ' Creation Searcher ? ' Will you go as Josiah j Allen's wife, P. I., which Iheans Private In- vestigatoft I declare, their talk was enough to wear I out a snipe ; and as t sot there hearin' 'em I fo on, big, lofty ideas and hefty aspirationd] egan to tackle me. I^ruly the fires of per- secution are always fruitful of great idees and while the storms of opposition, and Co»J nel^usCork and SoIomonCypherand etcetery| wias a ravin round me, I see a mission loQ^oin' up in^ front of me, like a war-horse waitm' forme to mount and ride off to vac«l toKnr promiscooa. And I spoke out in nioble tone, and says I : " No I I will not gol as a P. t., I will go aa a P. A.; " and I con* tinned in stUl firmer azants, " I am not one of the whifflin' one« of ewih, my mind is firm and stabled, and my principles., are high and foundtred on a rook j if I go at all I shall go as Josiah Allen's wife, P. A., which meana Promiscous Advisor, in the the cause of Right." But JofiaJi whispered to mo, ai^ says he : " Let 'em put on P. L, Samantha; it hi^ a sort of a good sound; g» asaP. A> and, a?' I. And filially, after givin' it a half a oso- ment's thought, and meditatin' it wasn't no- thin' ag'inst my principles, and wonld please mv oompanion, 1 consented to go as Josiah AUen's wife, P. A. and P. I., which bein' translated from the original means, Proml^- eens Advisor, and Private Investigator. Ak I: fO JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIPB. i beiu' dretfully worked up br more than a Hnsen differeut emotions, ana almost by the ' side of myself vrith principles and everything —without mistrustiu' what I was a doin' — I riz right up and stood on my feet, and spoke about my mission ; wavin' my knit tin work almust eloquently. Says I : " When children was a beiu' brung up, and mortgages was abroad, my place was to home, and to "home I stayed. But -when liberated from these oumnerin' cares, and mortgages was flown and children growed up ; my mind was a mind that conlda't be curbed in, when great questions was before , the world : deep conundrums that has puzzled ^ the ages waitin' for an answer, and them .^ answers to be worked out by individual men ■ and wimmen,by the sweat of their brows and the might of their shoulder-b! ides, says L My miud was one that work c. I nobly for the I good of the human race, ud'1 women; and on I that great andloft^ missio.i it took a tower. And now it is a mind that can't be held in ii and hitched to the fenccj that cowards set I' acroBt, while the conflict is a ragin' on every j side of 'em. The battle-field where Right j> opposes Wrong is a broad one, as broad as M the hull world, and in every great warfare ij, of principle there has been martyrs, from St. i^ Stephen — whose body was stunned to death ^ while heaven's glory was a shinin' out of his ^)ul — to old John Brown who died taitliful to that eternal spirit of justice, that old Error never oould stand." Says I — "Old Mr. Brown was none the ||§ less a martyr because he fell in our day, and las not been cannonized by the lumd of old Time;" says I, "that same old warfaid of |ju3tice with Injustice, Freedom with Op- pression, and True Religion with Bigotry, is ■k goin' on now, and the spirit of Martyrdom is strong in me. Gladly would I lead on the hull army of the Right triumphant into iotory, even if I fell in the conflict and was wownded in my own soar. But such a orown of honour is reserved for a nobler and mobby a higher forward, but not a more well-wisher to the cause. And if I can't head a army, and lead the vanguard on to glory and to victory, I can tussle with the nttle guerillas of wrong, that are let loose in society; I can grapple with the solitary pickets that Error sends out ahead of his 'Jf^; i army to see how the lands lays, and if the ^T^ enemy is asleep on a post I can lay holt of ■^ '''^'S bds spies that are hid undar the ambush of cashion and custom." " Any Advisor is a martyr more or less, 2oT when was advice not scorned and rejected of men and wimmen ? In my mission of Fromisoons Advisor, I shall go forth, expect- ia' to tread on the hot coals of public opinion; be bi^ad r rinciple had y out; and ho else was to ;ed for home, his face, as he out in gentle t home in guess we > gi have a little n't eat much DTIOIf. lotton flannel the gussets also run out a tellia' the noon that I on 'em till I ad she said, > her think of itohelled tow e cotton flan- nd when she ut exactiv I in the back 1 all to pieces )oodle would 3r to her, and was a rippin' new but jest ihipped her. iiis linement, a and there lo other line* r. Doodle'aw ter Doodle; ireh«'UhaT« World, ud eotion bima le down and ra he, '• Tha Town Hall, as yon know, is bein' fixed, and the pole is sot up right in the store. It will be handy, and you can go jest aa well aa not." But I looked my companion in the face with a icy, curious mean, and says I in low, •trange tones: " Wouldn't it be reroltin' tc ihe finer feel- in's of your sole to see a tender woman, your companion, a crowdin' and el bain' her way amongst the rude throng of men surroundin' the pole : to have her hear tbe immodest and almost dMigerons language, the oaths and swearin'; to see her a plungin' down in the vortex of political warfare and the arena of corruption T " Says I, "How is the shrinkin' modesty and delicacy of my sect a goin' to stand tirm a jostlin' its way amongst the rude masses, and you there to see it 7 " Says I, ''Ain't it a goin' to be awful revoltin' to yon, Josiah Allen ? " *' Oh no I " says he, in calm, gentle axeuts, *' not if you was a goin' for shirt buttons. " " Oh ! " says I almost wildly, " a woman san plunge up head first ag'inst the pole and be unharmed if she is m search of cotton flannel ; she can pursue shirt buttons into the very vortex of political life, into the pool of corruption, and the mirey clay, and come out white as snow, and modest as a lily of the valley. But let her step in them very tracks a foUerin' liberty and freedom, and justice, and right, and truth and temperance, and she comes out black as a coal. " And says 1 in a almost rapped way, liftin' up my eyes to the ceilin': " Why arc these things •o!" " Yes," says the Widder Doodle, " that is just what Mr. Doodle nsed to say. He said it would make a woman's reputation black as a coal, would spile her modesty entirely to go to the pole, and be too wearin' on her. " Says he, " Dolly it would spile yon, and I would rather give my best oow tihan to see yovL spilte. " Foor Mr. Doodle ! There was a heavy mortgage on old Linebaok then — it was a cow I Drought to him when we was married, and Mr. Doodle was obleeged to mortgage her to git his tobaooo through the winter ; it was foreclosed in the spring, and had to go, but his speakin' as he did, and bain' so wUlin' to give up my cow, showed feat how much he thoueht of me. Oh 1 he almost worshipped me, Mr. Doodle did." Jest at that very minute Josiah laid down the World, and says he: " I am a goin' to hitch up the old mare, Samantha. I guess you had better go, for I am a sufferin' for them shirts ; my old ones are a gettin' so thin ; I am cold as a frog." I braided my hair and done it up, and ■' then I made a good cup of oo&r, and brc«ght out a cherry pt«j, twA some bread, and batter, and cheese, and cold meat. We all eat a little, and then sister Doodle bein' anxious about the shirts, and dretfnl tickled about my goin', offered to wash up the dishes. Josiah said we'd got to stop to the barn for the buflalo skin; he come out with it all rolled up in a curious way, and I see there was a middlin' sized bundle in it, that he slipped under the seat. He seemed so anx- ious for me not to see it that I never let on that I did ; but I kep' my eye on it I didn't like the looks of things ; Josiah act- ed strange, but he acted dretful affectionate towards me. But all the while I was on my tower towards 'lection — and the old mare went slow, all the time — though my face was calm, my mind was worked up and agitated and felt strange, and I kep' s'posen thincs. I said to. myself, here I be started for 'lection, my companion settin' by my side, affection on his face, sweetness and peace throned onto his eyebrow, and at home IS a Widder Doodle a helpin' me off to 'lec- tion. Everything is peace and harmony and gay, becaue out- done by him, so I told him in a genteel tone, til at I should think he would want to waive off the subject, after perusin' snch a speci- men of male sufTerage as had jest disappeared from our vision. "Yes," savs Elder Minkley mildly, and in a gentlemanly way, "we will wave it off. But Senator Vyse was a sayin' to me jest now — he has come in to vote, and we got to talkin', the Senator and I did, about wim* men's votin' ; and he is bitter ag'inst it. And I believe jest as the Senator does, that woman's sufferage would introduce an ele- ment into politics, that would tottle it down from the foundation of justice and purity, on which it now firmly rests. I didn't say a word, but oh 1 what a straoge agitated feelin' I felt, to hear bro- ther Minkley go on — for that very Senater \ yse he was a talkin' about, is a disgrace to Jonesville and the world. A meaner, licen- ciouser man never trod shoe leather. He lives two or th'-ee miles out of Jonesville, in a awful big, nice place ; looks like a castle ; he has troops of servants, and a coloured nigger to drive his horses, and is considered a big-bug. And truly, if meanness makes a man feel big he has reason enough to feel. I never could bear the sight on him, though he is called handsome, and has dretful fas- cinatin' ways. Bein' so awful rich (he owns township after township, and heaps of money) he is made as much of as if he was made'of pure gold from head to feet. But he'll never git me nor Josiah to make of him ; Josiah's morals are as sound as brass. But brother Minkley went on a talkin', and oh I how I went on a tfainkin* : "Sena- tor Vyse says, that the nation would be so maddened to have wimmen try to vote, that it would rise up to a man, to defend the purity of the pole. Ah ! here comes this Senator heft to vote ; look quick, AM- na Ann ! stand up close to me, and I'll try to introduce you." Oh, how reverentially, and awe-stmok everybody in the store looked at the Senatot as he came a sailin' in, a lookin' as big and hauty as if he owned Jonesville and the hnll world. I believe they would have strewed palm leaves in his way, if they Lad any palms by 'em. He stopped a minnte to speak to brother Minkley and the Elder in- troduced hit -wife to hnn, with an air as if he irM a wttlin' a would ntake her rich doweiy on her, that for lift. And sistar r*^ ^ HOW I WENT TO 'LECTION. iti Minkley looked on him as awe-itrioken, and adiniriu'ly, as if he was a entire menage «iy of new and curious animals, and she be- holdin' 'em for the first time on a free ticket. And when he reached out his hand to shake hands with her, she acted perfectly over- come with joy. Then brother Minkley introiluccd the Senator to me, with considerable of the mean as if he was makin' mea present of a nice house and lot, aU paid for. But when the Senator reached out his hani to shako hands with Josinh Allen's wife, that woman, nerved complotely up with principle, jest looked at hin^ with a stiddy lofty mean, and gripped holt of her brown alpaca ovcrskirt, ana never touched his hand. I wouldn't. It was white and delicate, and a great seal rinfl[ set with diamonds glittered on it, but it was stained with crimes bla<^ker than murder, enough flight ; I had just as lives laid holt of a pisen serpent. 1 am naturally well bred, and polite in my demeanor, and the politest way is generally the quietest way; so ruther than make a fuss, 1 bowed my head a very little, mebby half or three quarters of an inch. But oh ! what a majestic look there was on my eyebrow ; what a terrible rebukin' expression curved my nostrils ; what a firmness, and a icyness there sot throned on my upper lip. He felt it. His handsome false face turned red as blood, as I calmly replied to brother Minkley 's last words. Says I ; "I agree with you brother Minkley in what yon said. I think it would be a first- rate plan to keep impure people from the pole, male or female. It would be apt to thin the voters ont considerable ; it would be apt to make it considerable lonesome for the pole. But howsumever, I should approve of it highly and so would josiah." Truly, if the coat fits anybody, let *em put it on freely, without money and without Frice. Senator Vyse felt what I said deeply, know he did, for I'll be hanged if I ever see Josiah's face look any meachener in his lueachinest times. I then coolly turned .my back to 'em and looked out of the winder ; and the Senator and brother Minkley went up towards the pole together, for the Elder seemed to think it would be a perfect treat : to see such a big man vote. And sister f Minkley followed nim with her eyes, as ad- fmiiin'Iy as if he was a hull circus, and show iindall. When Senator Vyse and Brother Minkley loved off towards the pole^ sister Minkley ftnd I was left alone. / We was in a little Bomer by the winder, fenced in by a high counter and still more deeply secluded by a. '>fty and almost precipitous pild of rag earpetin', that towered up on the nigh side of us. On the off side as I said was tlie counter. My body stood there a lookin' out of the winder, but my mind was nearly lost ia thought, a wanderiu' off into a complete wilderness of strange and conflictin' idees ; little underbrushes of pnzzlin' contradictions, runnin' every which way, and hedgiu' my mind almost completely up, when it trier) to soar uff free and noble ; ereat high trees of the world's curious beliefs, and practices, and procecdin's, castin' a shadder black as night down on the ever green mosses be- neath 'em alL Sometimes my tuckered out mind would git half a minute's rest, redinin' as you may say, on them mosses, that ^ith tender, faithful fingers, touch with the saiue repose, the ruins of castle and hovel ; that are ever green in sunshine and in shade ; that quietly, silently — never hastin', never restin , never tirin' — make a soft piller for all^ tired heads alike ; the lofty, and the lowly. Sometimes, as I sav, I would rest half a moment in the thought of that tender Mercy and Compassion. And little wild flowers of sweet thoughts and consolations, would kinder peep up at me, and hopes and prophecies of truth and justice would shine oiit luce glori- ous stars ; and I'd git perhaps for tkreo ?[uarters of a moment or so, all lit up and a eelin' awful well. Then my mina would soar off again, considerable of a ways, and some of them runnin' vines of curious idees and customs, that was a tanglin' up the tree tjps, would trip it up, and down it would come again — and all the harder from fallin' from such a height. Good land I what » hard time it was a haviu*. All of a sudden sister Minkley spoke np, for she too, it seems, had been a lookin' out of the winder, entirely un- beknown to me. Says she, " I believe jest as Weslaj and Senator Vyse does. Look at that oreeter across the sbreet. What would become of the nation if snch things was permitted \o vote T" And she pinted with hergingham umbercU. across the street to a girl that was sometimes in Jonesville, and sometimes in the city. A girl, that every time I looked at her, mad* my cheeks blush with shame for her, and mr eyea brim over with tears for her. I don't believe there was ever a dry eye in my head when I looked at that girl, because I had ' heerd her story, the hull thing, from one that knew. And that was one very great reason, whv I turned my back to Senator Vyse, and wonld'nt touch his hand; tho mean contemptible, creeter. This very girl when she was a child, waa left to his care by her dyin' mother and she gre^ np as pretty as a half blown roM bad. wntvMW* 96 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIPE. '< i.y, ' and jest »s innooent ; an orphan, anbeknow- in' to the world, ita glory, and its wioked« ness. And he learnt it all tc her, all its |;lory,and all its wiokedness; for she thoiu^ht, lunocent young lamb, that a new worm of light and glory had swung down from heaven A purpose for him and her, in them days whea he ransacked heaven and earth to find lender ways and tender word^ enough to tell Ilia lore for her, his admiration for her Ijcanty, her briKhtness, her grace, her sweet contidin' innocence. And so he held her heart, her life in his hands, and she would iiave been thankful to have laid them down fur the handsome villain, if he had told her to. And holdin' her life as he did, he ruined it. By every hellish art that could be call- i:(\ to aid him, he deliberately committed this sin. Brought her down frominnooenceand happiueRs,to ruin, wretchedness, disgrace, de- spair, drink, the streets. And then he was unanimonsly ohosen by a majority of the p«ople to make wise laws, inch as legalizing sin and iniquitv, and other noble statutes, for the purif^^of the nation. And she, — why, as she is too low and worthless for anything else, she ia used ai a capital illni- tration to enforce the fact, that wimmeo like her are too sinful to voto. " Says I, speakin' right out, loud and very eloquent : " Sistor Mmkley, assure as there is a God in Heaven, such injustice will not be permitted to go on forever." I s'nose I skairt her, speakin' out so sud- den like, and she not knowin' what perfor- mances had been a performin' in my mind. And she mnrmnred again almost mekanical* ly : " It would be the awfulest thing I ever beam on, for such creeters to vote." Says I, "That old torment can vote can't he, the one that brought her where she is T" " No doubt but what ah€ was to blame," says lister Minkley drawin' her lips down in a real womanly way. " Who said she wasn't !" aayi 1 in real excited azenta. "But this I will contond for, that her sin compared to his, wasn't so much aa a morphine powder to a barrel of flour." " She no need to have sunl^own to where she is now," says sister Milkley speakin' again, in a real prudent, womanly tongue. Says I, " Sister Minkley, when that girl found out that the man she loved better than her own soul, that she looked up to as a Ood, as wimmen will, when i^e found that that man had betrayed her, ruined here do yon a'poM she had any faith left in Ood or man ? The hull world reeled with her, and she went down with the shock. How low •he went down, you nor I shall never know. And may 'the God above, who is able to keeo us all from temptation, keep yoar ohildrt» and mine, sister Minkley." " Amen I" says sister Minkley jest as solemn as if she was to camp-meetin'. For danger never looks so dangerous, nor ruip so ruinous, as when a mother thinks of her own children fallen' onto it. Says I, "SiHter Minkley, when I think it might have been my Tirzah Ann, what feelin's I feel." "And isst so I feel," says she. Sister Minkley does dretfnl well by her children* thinks a sight on 'em, and the mother io her was touched. Says I, "Sister Minkley, that girl had • mother once. A mother's hand* to guide hsi upwards — to lay on her brow when !♦ ached. A motherjp love to keep her from temptation. A mother's arms to hold her from evil, from coldness, from blame. A mother's heart to rest on, when tired, tired ont with the world. Less try to feel foi her a little as that faithful heart| would, if it wasn't put way under the grasses." Says I, almost eloquently, "It don't look well sister Minkley for mother's hands that have held little trustin baby fingers in them, to be pinted out in mockery, or stun bruised in stunnin' snoh as she. No ! rather let them be liftod np to hish heavens in prayer for'em, or reached in help to 'em, or wipin^ away toara of pity and sorrow for 'em. Let mothers think for one half or even ono third of a moment, what if death had un- loosed their own claspin' fingers — tender tmstm' little fingers,— and so many differ- ent lunds in the world reached ont to clasp 'em and they so weak, so confidin', and so woefully icnprant what hands to lay holt of, little helpless, foolish lambs, that had been guarded, loved watched in safe homes need- mg such wise guidance, and prayers, and tears, and watohtulness — what would become of them wanderin' alone in a world full of wolves, temptation, starvation, and moro'n forty other old whelps, some of the fiercest ones so covered up with honest lookiu' wool» that the keenest spectacles are powerless for the time bein' to tell 'em from sheep. Little* white lambs traveliu' alone so danger* ous and black a road, how can they keep themselves white unless God keeps 'em. We mothers ort to think such thoughts sis- ter Minkley, and pray pravera daily, not alone for our childern, but for all of God's little ones — for all of these poor wanderers ; askin' for heavenly wisdom and strength to save them, win them back to a better life." *' Amen" says sister ^inkley, speakin' up jest aa prompt and serene as if she was car- ryin' on a conference meetiu'. She is aa well meanin' a woman as I ever see. and HOW I WENT TO 'LECTION. b«in' • Methodist by perswMion 'Amona' come jest M iMtural to Iter ss th« breath «he breathes. They m« truly bar theme ; bnt she means well. SaTi I goin' on and reramin' : " After that prl »▼• her freehnsssand beauty to the little »ea that lay for a few mouths on her bosom daarer to her in all her ■hame and guilt, than her life, beoause ^e could see Am features in it— then Senator Vyse grew tired of her. "And then her baby died. Perhaps God knew she was not fit to suide a deathleas life, so he took to himself the little white souL And she missed it. Missed the little constant hands that elnng to her trustingly <->tlM innocent eyti that never looked at oar scornfully, aud the little loving head that nestled fearleflsly on her guilty breast. " And then, the Senator bein' very tired of her, and bavin' found a newer face that he liked better, turned her out doors, and she went ravin' wild, they sav, run off into the woods, tried to kill herself. They took her to the hospittle, and when she got over her wildness, she would set by the winder all day, paJe as a ghost, jest for the chance of seein him ridiu' by— for she couldn't kill her love for him, that was one of the hardest things for her ; she couldn't strangle it out no more'n she could kneel down and pray the sun out of the skv, because she had bad a sunstroke. And what did she do to . try to for|;et him and her agony T She took to driukm', and fell lower and lower ; so low, that nothin' but God's mercy caix ever reach down to her." Says I, " Her face used to be as innocent and sweet as your baby's face, your little Eaty; and look at it now, if you want to see what this man has done, Look at the shair.e there, where there used to be fearlessness ana trust; look at the wretchedness where there used to be happiness; look at the vicious look, the guilty look, where there was inno- cence and punty; see how she is shunned and despised by those who used to love and respect ner; consider the gulf his hands have dug, deep as eternity, between her and the old life she weeps over but can never return to. If, when she was sweet, and innocent, and trnstin*. and fitter for heaven than she ever will be again— when she was first left to his oare — he had killed her with his own hands, it wouldn't have been half the crime he has done now, for then he would only have harmed her body, not her immortal aouL " And what seems to me the most pitiful thing, sister Minkley, is he ruined that girl through the best part of her nater— her trusiL her affection. Jest as a young deer is led to its death by an old panther mockin' the voice of its dam, Jest so did this old hu- man panther lead this innocent young cree- ter astray by mookin' the voice of love — that holiest of voices — lead her down to de- struction through her tenderness, her love for him. And now after he has stole her happi- ness,her innocence, herpurity,her self-respect, and the respeot of others, all her earthly hopes of happiness, and her hopes of heaven; after she has lost all for his sake; after he has committed this crime against her, the greatest that man can commit, he crows over her, and feels above her ; says, " you can't vote, bnt /oan; oh, yes, I am all right beoaose I am a man. Good land 1 sister Minkley, how mad it makes me to see such injustice and iniquity." But sister Minkley 's mind had got to trav- ellin' again the ways of the world, and she spoke out in a sort of a preachin' tone — I 8 pose she kinder oatched it from Brother Minkley unbeknown to her : " listen to the voice of ^^olomon eoncern- in' strange wimmen. ' She layeth in wait as for a prey. She increa^uth the trangres- sions amongst men. My son rejoice with the wife of thy youth, be thou ravished al- ways with her love. Beware of strange M'immen I Her feet go down to death. H " steps take hold on hell 1'" I was agitated and almost by the side > myself, and I spoke oat quick like, before had time to think how it would sound. Says I, " That very same strange woman that Solomon was bewarin' his son about, was iimooent once, and in the first on't some man led her astray, and I shouldnJ^ wonder a mite if it was old Solomon himself." "Good gracious 1" says sister Minkley, " Why'e r^ Says I, "I mean well, sister Minkley; and there can't nobody go ahead of me in honor- in' Solomon for what was honourable in him, and admirin' what was admirable in him. He built one of the biggest meetiir housan's that ever was bilt, did lots of good, and some of his words are truly like ' applea of gold in pitchers of silver,' chuck full of wisdom and goodness. But I must speak the truth if I speak at all sister Minkley, especially where my sect is concerned. As you probable know, private investigation into the wrongs of my sect and tryin' to right them wrongs, is at present my mission and my theme, (and also promiscous advis- in'. ) And I must say, that I think Solomon talked to his son a little too much about bewarin' of strange wimmen, aud exhortin' him to stick to the wife of his youth, when he bad ten hundred wimmen by him all the time, and then wasn't satisfied but started off to git a couple more — upwards of a thou* sand wimmen. Good gracious 1 sister Mink* 38 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. .i ■■'■■ I ley ; I should h&ve thought some of 'em would have looked strauge touim. " Why, sister AUenl why'el" ** I me»n well, sister Minkl^; I mean first mte. And I'll bet a cent if yoti should speak your mind right out, you would say that you doa't uphold Salomon iu all his doin's no more'n I do. He was altogether too familiar with wimmeo, Solomon was, to suit me. Marryin' seven hundred of 'em. Good landl And folks make a great fuss nowadays if a man marries two; claps him right into jaU qnicker'n a wink, and good enough for him ; he ort to go. One woman at a time is my theme, and that is the theme of the new testament, and what that says is good enoueh for me or anybody else; itisGrod's own words to us, sister Minkley. Ihad been dretful kinder agitated in tone, I felt so deeply what I said. But I continued ou in some milder axeats, but impressive as impressive could be — for I was a talkin' on principle, and I Iceep a tone by me on pur- pose for that, i^^dretfui leep lofty, eloquent tone; and I used it now, as I went on and proceeded. " As I said, sister Minkley, I have made the subject of wimmen my theme for quite a number of years — ever sense the Black Afri- can and the mortgage on our farm was re- leased. I have meditated on what wimmen has done ; and what she ^haint done ; what treatment she has received, and what she haint recei^d. Why 'sometimes, sister Minkley, when I have got onto that theme, my mind has soared to that extent that yon wouldn't have any idee of, if you never had ■ten anything done in the line of soarin.' It has uoled back to the year one, and sail- ed onward through the centuries that lie between to that eolden year we both be- lieve in, sister Minkley. ^ It has soared clear from the east to the west, and seen sad eyed Eastern wimmen with veiled faces, toys, or beasts of burden, not darin' to un- cover their faces to the free air and light of haavMif because man willed it so. U> has sean Western wimmen, long pro- cessions of savages, ' the winmien car- ryin' tb% babies, the house, and house- hold furniture on their baoks, while the men, unburdend and feathered out nobly, walked iu front of 'em, smoking calmly, and meditatin' on the inferiority of wimmen. I never contended that wimmen was per fec^ far from it. You have heerd me say in the past, that I thought wimmen was meaner than pnsly about some things. I eay so stiU. My mind haint changed about wimmen, nor about pusly* But justice is what I have been a contendin'for ; justice, Mid equal righte, and a fair dividin' of the burdens of life is my theme j and I say they hamt been used wuL Now in the year one, when Adam and Eve eat that apple, jest as quick as Adam swallowed it— probably he must choked him- self witk the core, he was in such an awful hurry to get his mouth clear, so he could lay the blame onto Eve. "The woman did tempt me, tad I did eat." "But thank fortin, he didn't make out much, for Eternal Goodness, which is God, is forever on thefside of Bight. And Adam and Eve — as any two ort to be who sin together —got turned out of Eden, side by side, out of the same gate, into the same wilder- ness ; and the flaming sword that kept Eve back from her old Ufe of beauty 4nd innocence, kept Adam back, too. Sister Minkley, that is my theme. When twa human souls turn the Eden of their inno- cence into a garden of guilt, punish 'em both alike, and dou't turn her out iuto the vnlderness alone ; don't flash the fiamiu' sword of your righteous indignation in her eyes and not in hisen. "And then, there was Hagar'ses case, — when Abraham turned Hagar and his baby out into the desert. If I had lived neigh- bour to 'em, at the time, I should have given him a talkin' to about it ; I should have freed my mind, and felt relievod so fur, any- way. I should have said to the old gentle- man, in a pleasant way, so's not to git him mad : — ' I think a sight of you, Abraham, in the patriarch way. You are a good man, in a great many respects ; but standin' up for wimmen is my theme, (and also promiscons advisin,') and do you think yoa are doin' the fair thing by by Hagar, to send her and your baby ofl into the desert with, nothin' but one loaf of bread and a bottle of water between ^em and death ?" Says I, ' It is your child, and if it hadn't been for you, Hagar would pro* bably now be a doin' housework round in Beersheba, a happy woman with no incum- brances. It is your child as well 9s hem, and yoa, to eay the least of it, are as guilty as she is, aud don't you think it is a littb un^ienerous and unmanly in you, to drive her off into the desert — ^to let her in her weak- ness, take all the consequences of the sin yon and she committed, when she had paid for it aleady pretty well, in the line of sufferin'f Says 1, ' I tiiink a sight of you, Abraham, but in the name of principle, I say with the Eoet — that what is sass for the goose, ort to e sass for the gander — ^and if she is drove off into the desert, you ort to lock arms with her, and go too.' "I'll bet a cent I oonld have ooQvinoed Abraham that he was doiu' a cewwdly and vuagjUkUOQM act by Hagar. But thea I waaa'i. HOW I WENT TO 'LECTION. Bl I say they m^ Adam and mok as Adam ■choked him- ■oh an awful ■he could lay ■ woman did ■t laake oat ■h is God, is Id Adam and Isiu together ►yside, out lame wilder- I that kept ■beauty «nd |oo. Sister ■ When two I their inno- I punish 'em ut into the the iHamin' tiou in her 'seB oMe, — fd hii baby ived neigh* have given lould have JO fur, any. old gentle- to git him Abraham, in >od man, in ' standin' Bme, (and do you thing by baby otf oae loaf of rt'een iijiem child, and vould pro- round in no incum* I 88 hem, as guilty is a littb drive her ler weak- e sin yoD aid for it ufferin'r braham, with the e, ort to is drove ms with Qvinoed ?■ rr. inau is vain. And then lection bid fair to go the way he wanted it to. He was awful animated, his face was almost wreathed in a smile, and before the old mare had gone several roda he be^n what a neat thing it was, and what a lucky hit for the nation, that winunen couldn't vote. And he kep' ojQ a talkin', that man did, as he was a carry- in' me home from 'lection, about how it would break a woman's modesty down to go to the pole, and how it would devour her time, and so 4th, and so 4th. And I was that tired out and fatigued a talkin' to sister .Vlinkley that I let him go on for more'n a mile, and never put in my note at all. Good laud ! I'd heerd it all over from him, word lor word, more'n a hundred times, and so 1 sot still. I s'pose he never thought how it was my lungs that ailed me, that I had used 'em almost completely up in principle, how I was almost entirely out of wind. And though a woman's will may be good, and her princi- ])les lofty, still she can't talk >vithout wind. For truly, in the words of a poem I once pe- lusod : — "What's Paul, or PoUus, when a sinner's dead ? dead for want of breath. " " I don't s'pose he thought of my bein' tuckered out, but honestly s'pose he thought he was convinciii' of me ; for his mean grew gradually sort of overbearin' like and contemptible, till he got to be more big feelin' and hauty in his mean than I had ever known him to be, and independenter. And he end- ed up as follers: "Now, we have purity, and honesty, and unswervin' virtue, and incorruptible patriot- ism at the pole. Now, if corruption tries to } stalk, honest, firm, lofty-minded men stand ready to grip it by the throat. How can it stalk, when it is a chokin ? Wimmen haint got the knowledge, the deep wisdom and in- right into things that we men have. They haint got the lofty idees of national honour and purity that we men have. Wimmen may mean well — " He was feelin' so neat that he felt kinder olerer towards the hull world, hemaleand female. " Wimmen may mean well, and for arguments sake we'll say they do mean well. Bat tibat haint the pint. The pint is here — " And he pinted his forefinger right towards the old mare. Jmdah can't gesture worth a cent. He wouldn't make a or\ter, if he should learn the trade for years. But ever sense he has been to the Debatin' school he seemed to have a hankerin' that way. "The pint is here. Not knn win' so much as ^e men know, not beiu' so firm and lofty' minded as we be, if wimmen should vote corruption would stalk ; they not faivin' a firm enough grip to choke it o£l They wonld in the lai^[ui^e of the 'postle be 'blowed about by every windy doctor.' They would be tempted by filthy lucre to 'sell their birth-right for a mess of pottery,' or crockery, I s'pose the text ^ means. They haint got firmness ; they are whifflin', their minds haint stabled. And if that black hour should ever come to the nation, that wimmen should ever go to the pole — where would be the lofty virtue, the firm hip;h- minded honesty,the uncorruptible patriotism that now shines forth from politics f Where would be the purity of the pole ? Where f oh! where?" I'll be hanged if I could st^Tid it another minute, and my lungs havin' got consider- able rested, I spoke up, and says I : "You seem to be havin' a kind of a en- quiry meetin' in politics, Josiah Alien, and I'll get up in my mind, and speak in meet- in'." And then I jest let loose that eloquent tone I keep by me expressly for the cause of principle; I used the very loftiestand awfuleet . one I had by me, as I fastened my specks immovably on hisen. " Where is that swal* ler tailed coat of Father Allen's ?" And in slower, sterner, colder tones, I ad- ded : "With the brass buttons. Where is it Josiah Allen ? Where T oh ! where T" Oh ! What a change came over my com> panion's mean. Oh, how his feathers droop- ed and draggled on the ground speakiu' in a rooster and allegory way. Oh, what a meachin' look covered him like a garment from head to foot. I declare for't if his boots didn't look meachin'.. and his hat and his vest. I never seen a meachener lookin' vest than hisen, as I went on : " I'd talk Josiah Allen about men bein' so pure-minded, and honest. I'd talk about wimmens bein' whifflin' and their minds not| ' stabled. I'd talk about the purity of the4 1 pole. I'd love to see Josiah Allen's wife buyin' rotes ; bribin' Miss Gowdey or sister ; MinUey away from the paths of honesty and * virtue, with a petticoat or a bib apron. I'd ' love to see Greorge Washington offerin' his ji jack knife to Patrick Henry to get him to j vote his ticket ; or Benjamin Franklin, or | Thomas Jefferson sellin' their votes for store clothes. I should be ashan^ed to go to the 1 Sentinel Josiah Allen, if I was in your place. ' I should be perfectly ashamed to set my eyes J on that little hatchet that Georce Washins- 1 ton couldn't tell a lie with. I should think V that hatchet would cut your conscience clear to the bone — if you have got a conscience, Josiah Allen. "Oh ! Did I ever expect to see the com- panion of my youth and middle ace, betray- \ in' his country's honour ; trafficin in bribery^ and sin ; dickerin' with di$>honesty ; tradin'f in treason ; buyin' corruption ; and payia' HOW W:5 BOUGHT A SEWIN' MACHINE AND ORGAN. 41 for it with a swaller tailed coat, with his old father's blue swaller tailed coat, that his law- ful pardner wanted for carpet rags. Oh, the agony of this half an hour, Josiah Allen ! Oh, the feelin's that t feel." But Josiah had begun to pick up his 'Onunbs again. Truly it ii hard work to keep men down in the valley of humiliation. You oan't keep 'em worked up and mortified for any great length of time, do the best you can. But I continued on in almost dretful azents. "You ort to repent in sackcloth and ushes, Josiah Allen. " "We haint got no sackcloth Samautha," aays he, " and we have sold our ashes. Pro- bable the man wouldn't want to be a repent* in' in 'em. It would be apt to leach 'em, too much lie for 'em. " , "I'd try to turn it off into a joke, Josiah Allen, I'd laugh if I was in your place about lyin'. Your tears ort to flow like a leach barrel. Oh if you could realize aa I do the wickedness of your act. Destroyin' your country's honour. Sellin' your father's coat when I wanted it for carpet rags. " Says I, *' I am as good a mind as I ever was to eat, to color the hull thing black, warp and all, makin' a mom-nin' carpet of it, to set down and bewail my pardner's wickedness from year to year." " It would look pretty solemn Samantha." I see the idee worried him. " It wouldn't look nosolemner than I feel, Josiah Allen." And then I kep' perfectly still for a num- ber of minutes, for silence is the solemn temple with its roof as high as the heavens, oonirenient for the hunum soul to retire into, at any time, unbeknown to anybody; to offer up thanksgivin'a, or repent of iniquities. And I thought my Josiah was repentin' of hiien. But truly aa I said men's consciences are likeingy rubber, dredful easy and stretchy, and almost impossible to break like a bruised reed. For while I was a hopin' that my companion waa a repentin', and thought mebbe he would burst out a cryin', overcome by a realisin' sense of his depravities; and I was a thinkin' that if he did, I should take up a comer of his bandanna handkerchief and cry on it too — that man for all his back slidin's is so oncommon dear to me — he spoke out in jest aa chirp a way as I ever seen him, and for all the world, jest as if he liadn'tdone nothin': " I wonder if sister Doodle will have sup- K ready, Samantha. I meant to have told to fried a little o' that beef." HOW WR BOUGHT A SEWIN' flA- CHINB AMD ORGAN. We done dretful well last year. The crops come in first-rate, and Josiah l\ad five or six head of cattle to turn off at a big price. He fdt well, and he proposed to me that I should have a sewin' machine. Thak man — though he don't coo at me so frequent as he probable would if he had more euoour' agement in it, is attadied to m« with a dc« votedness that is firm and almost (Mst-iroa, and he says, almost tenderly : " Samantha, I will get you a sewin' machine." Says I, "Josiah, I have got a couple of sewin' machines by me that have run pretty well for upwards of— well it hain't necessary to go into particulars, but they have run for considerable of a spell anyway"— says I, " 1 ^an^t along without another one, though ^^lillbt it would be handy to have round." ^^U^iah hung onto that machine. And then 1m9 up and said he was goin' to buy a orga#. 'Thomas Jeffertton wanted one too. They both seemed sot onto that organ. Tiizah Ann took hem with her of course when she was married, and Josiah said it seemed so awful lonesome without anv Tirzah Ann or any music, that it seemed almost as if two girls had married out of the family instead of one. He said money couldn't buy us another Tirzah. Ann, but it would buy us a new organ, and he was determined to have one. He said it would be so handy for her to play on when she came home, and for other company. And then Thomas J. can play quite well ; he can play any tune, almost, with one hand, and he sines first- rate, too. ^e and Timh Ann used to sins together a sight ; he sings bearatone and she sulfireno— that is what they call it They git up so many new f angled names nowadays, that! think it is most a wonder that I don't make a slip once in a while and git things wrong. I should, if I hadn't got a mind like a ox for streogth. But as I said, Josiah was fairly sot on that machine and organ, and I thou£^t I'd let him have his wiqr. So it got out that we was goin' to buy a sewin' machine, and a organ. Well, we made up our minds on Fnday, pretty late in the afternoon, and on Monday forenoon I was a washih', when I heard a knock at the front door, and I wrunff my hands out of the water and went and opened it. A slick lookin' feller stood ther^ and I invited him in and sot him a chair. •'I hear you are talkin' aboutbuyin'a musical instrument," says he. "No," says I, "we are goin' to buy a or- g»n- " • " Well," says he, "I want to advise you, not that I ha\e any interest m it at all, only I don't want to see 'ou so imposed upoa. ''( 42 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. " ^It fairlj makm me mad to Me a Methodist imposed upon ; I lean towards that perawa- sion myaelf. Organs are liable to fall to pieces any minute. There haint no depend- ence on 'em at all, the insides of 'em are liable to break oat at any timek If you have any regard for your own welfare and safety, you will buy a piano. Not tiiat I have any interest in advising you, only my devotion the the Oause of Bight ; pianos never wear out. " Where should we git ona?" says I, for i didn't want Josiah to throw away hi« property. " Well,^ says he, " as it hi4>p«na, I guess I have got one out here in ih» waggon. I believe I threw one into the bottom of the waggon this momin', as I was a comin' down by here on business. I am glad now I ^d. for it A ways makes me fe^ ugly tx^f^fibt^ Methodist imposed upon. •* . *fr Josiah came into the house in« a few minutes, and I told him about It/^ and says I : "How luoky it is Josiah, that we found out about organs before it was too late." But Josiah asked the price, and said he wasn't goin' to pay out no 300 dollars, for he wasn't able. But the man asked if we was williu' to have it brought into the house for a spell — we could do as we wa3 a mind to about buyin' it ; and of course we couldn't refuse, so Josiah most broke his back a liftia' it in, and they set it up in the par- lour, and after dinner the mbn went away. Josiah bathed his back with linement, for he had strained it bad a lif tin' that piano, and I had jest got baek to my washin' as^in (I had had to put it away to git dinner) when I heard a knockio' again to the front door, and I pulled down my dress sleeves and went and opened it, and there stood a tall, slim feller ; and the kitoheu bein' all cluttered up I tqpened the paclour door and asked him in there, ana the minute he catoiied sight of that piano, he jest lifted up both bauds, and says he : " You haint got one of th«m here i" He looked so hoiriiied that it skairt me, and says I in almost tiemblin' tones : " What is 1dm mfttter with 'em V' And I added in a oheevfnl ton«> " we hain^ bought it." He looked m nant too. " That villain haint been a tryin' to get one of them organs off onto you, has he ?** says he. "What is the trouble with 'em ?*» says I, in a awe-struck tone, for he looked bad. " Why," si^s he, "there is a heavy mort- gage on every one of his organs. If you bought one of him , and paid Tor it, it wotild be liable to be took away from you any min« Vite when you was right in the middle of a tane, leaviu' you a settin, on the stool ; and you would lose every cent of your money." " Good gracious !" says I, for it skairt m* to think what a narrow chance we had run. Well, finally, he brung in one of hisen, and sot it up in the kitchen, the parlour beia' full on 'em. HOW WE BOUGHT A SEWIN* MACHINE AND OIJGAN. 4.'; I And the fellers kep' a comia' and a goin' at all hours. For a spell, at (irst, Josiak would come in and talk with 'em, but after a while he got tired out, and when he would see one a oomin', he would start on a run for the bam, and hide, and I would have to stand the brunt of it alone. One feller see Joaiah a raunin' for the bam, and he foUere^' hJm in, and Josiah dove under the barn, •■ I found out afterwards. 1 happened to se« him a crawlin' out after the feller drove off. Josiah com* in a shakin' himself — for he was all covered with straw and feathers — and says he : ' ' Samantha there has sot to be a change. *' " How isthere goin' to be a change ?" says I. "I'll tdl yon, says he, in a whisper — for fear some on 'em was prowlin' round the house yet — "we will git up before light to- morrow itiomin', and go to JonesviUe and buy a organ right out.' I fell in with the idee, and we started for Jonesville the next mornin'. We got there jest after the break of day, and bought it of the man to the breakfast table. Says Josiah to me afterwards,"^ as we was goin' down into the village : "Let's keep dark about bu3rin' one, and see how many of the creetere will be beset- tin' onus to-day." So we kep' still, and there was half a dozen fellers foUerin' ua round all the time a most, into stores and groceries and the manty makers, and they would stop us on the side- walk and argue with, us about their organs And pianos. One feller, a tall slim cnap, never let Josiah out of Uis sight a minute ; and he foUered him when he went after his horse, and walked by the side of the waggon clear down to the store where I was, a arguin' all the way aUout his piano. Josiah had bought a number of things and left 'em to the store, and when we got there, there stood the orcan man by the side of the things, jest Uke a watch dog. He knew Josiiui would come and git 'em, and he could git the la«t word with him. Amount other things, Josiah had bought a barrel oi salt, and the piano feller that had ■tuck to Josiah so tight that day, offered to help him on with it, And the organ man- not ffoin' to be outdone by the other — ^he of- fered too. Josiah kinder winked to me, and then he held the old mare, and let 'em lift Thev wasn't used to such kind of work, and it fell back on 'em once or twice, and most •quashed 'em ; but they nipped to, and lifted •gain, and finally got it on ; but they was oompletely tvokered out. And then Joaiah got in, and thanked 'em llor the liftin'; and the organ man, a wipin' the bweat offeii his face — that had started •ont in his haid labour— said he should be down to-morrow mormn' ; and the piano, man, a pantiu' for breath, told Josiah not to make up his mind till he came ; be should hr down that night if he got rested enough.. And then Josiah told 'em that he should be glad to see 'em down a visitin' any time, but he had iest bought a organ. I don't know but what they would have laid holt of Josiah, if they hadn't been so tuckered out ; but as it was, they was too- ] beat out to look anything but sneakiu' ; and I so we drove off. The manty maker had told me that day, that there was two or three new agents with < new kinds of sewin' machines jest come to 1 Jonesville, and I was tellin' Josiah on it, when we met a middle-aged man, and he Itiuk- ed at us pretty close, and finally he asked iu» { M he passed b^, if we could tell him whcrtr JosiaL Allen bved. Says Josiah, "I'm livin' at present in a Democrat." Says If "In this one horse waggon, you know.*' Says he, "Tou are a thinkin' of buyin' a | sewin' machine, haint you ? " "Says Joaiah, "I'm a turnin' my mind I that way." At that, the man turned his horse round, and follercd us, and I see he had a sewin' machine in the front of his waggon. We I had the old mare and the colt, and seein' » | strange horse come up so close behind us, the colt started oiOf full run towards Jones- ville, and then ran down a cross-read and | into a lot. Says the man behind us, "I wmaRttle younger than you be, Mr. will hold my horse I will go with pleasure." Josiah was glad enough, and so he got into the feller's . wacgon ; but before he started off, the man, says he : "You can look at that machine in front of you while I am gone. I tell you frankly, that there haint another machine eoual to it in America ; it re^mrea no strength at all ; infants can run it for days at n time ; or idiots : if anybody knoim enough to set and whistle, they can run this machme ; and it's specially adapted to the blind — blind people can run it jest aa w^ as them that can sec, A blind woman last year, in one day, made 43 dollars a msj&in' leather aprons ^ stitched them all round the age two rows. She made two dozen of 'em, and then she made four dozen gauze veils the same day, without changin' the needle. That is one of the beauties of the machine, its goin' from leather to lace, and back again, without changin' the needle. It is so tryin' for wim men, every time they wuut to go frum leath* er, to gauze and book muslin, to hftve t» Allen ; if you { after the colt 44 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFK ,;'■» 1^ ■•«j ffl ohHUge the needle ; but you can see for yourielf that it haint got its equal in North America." He heerd the colt whinner, and Josiab etood up in the waggon, and looked after it. So h« started off down the cross-road. And we sot there, feelin' considerable like a procession ; Josiah holdin' the stranger's horse, and I the old mare ; and as we sot there, np dmr another slick lookin' chap, «nd I bein' ahead, he spoke to me, and says he : " Can yon direct me, mom, to Josiab Al> len's house ? " "It is abont a mile from here," and I add- ed in a friendly tone, " Josiah is mj hus- band." " Is b "t ? " says he, in a genteel tone. " Yep," says I, "we have been to Jones- rille, and our colt run down that oroM road, and » " I see," says he interruptin"of me, "I see how it is." And then he went on in a lower tone, "Tf yen think of buyin' a sewin' ma- ohin .J':. » ''it one of that feller in the wag- gon behir " •■ -T know him well; he is one of the ::.; .>v'3rthle8S shacks in the country, as you can plainly see by the looks of his 00' n'lenance. If I ever see a face in which k; .> a r "vd vi!*<'' is wrote down, it is on hisen. Any one w iv\ J-i^f an eye can see that he would cheat Lis grai^dmother out of }ier snuff handkerchief, it he got a chance." He talked so fast that I couldn't git a chance to put iu a word age ways for Jo- siah. " His sewin' machines are utterly worth- leas ; he haint never sold one yet ; he can't. His character has got out — folks know him. There was a lady a tellin' me the other day that her maohine she bought of him, all fell to pieces in less than twenty-four hours after she bought it ; fell onto her infant, a sweet little babe, and crippled it for life. I see your husband is havin' a hard time of it with that oolt. I will jest hitoh my horse here to the fence, and go demrn and help him ; I want to have a little talk with him before he comes back hert." So he started off on the run. I told Josiah what he said about him, for it nukdded me, but Joeiah took it cooL He eeemed to love to set there and see them two men run. I never did see a oolt act as that one did ; they didn't have time to pass a word with eaeh other, to find out their mistake, it k^* 'em so on a keen run. They wonld git it headed towards us, and then it would kick up its heels, and run into some lot, and canter round in a circle with its head np into the air, and then bring up flhort ag'inst the fence ; and then they m Jones- got Awav wye be, K^r it; are ngh it in » laugh it to hear, it est. But it to ffo by sewin^ ma- lie here?" from the the feller, And then er fellers' » of stop. bt;foller n, down bow peo- ey want re." aays Jo. Mllook •ecansel I mother imother PREPARIN' FOR OUR TOWER. 4& liMtE anii, it ink it is r« isnoj nd the Keren oe there is, is in thiMtne's favour. You can have it for 75 dollars if you want it ; if not, I will drive on." " How do you like the looks on it, Sa- mantha ? " Says I, "It is the kind I wanted to git." Josiah took oat his wallet, and counted 75 dollars, and says he : "Put that machine into that waggon where Samantha is." The good lookin' feller was jest liftin' of it in, and countin' over his money, when the two fellers come up with the colt. It seemed that they bad had a explanation as they was comin' back ; I see they had as S[uick as I catcbed sight on 'em or they was a walkin' one on one side of the road, and the other on the other, most tight up to the fence. They was most dead the colt had run 'em so, and it did seem as if their faces couldn't look no redder nor more madder than thev did as we catched sight of 'em and Josiim thanked 'em for drivin' back the colt ; but when thejr see that the other feller bad sold us a machine, their faces did look redder and madder. But 1 didn't care a mite>; we drove o£P tickled enoneh that we had got through with our sufferiirs with agents. And the oolt had got so beat out a runnin' and racin', that he drove home firat-rate, walkin' along by the old mare as stiddy as a deacon. PKEPARIN' FOR itVB, TOWER. It was on a fair and lovely morniu', though middlin' cool, that I told my Josiah that if he and I was a goin' to see the Sentmal it was time for us to be makin' some prepara* tions. Thomas J. haint a goiu' till bimeby. He wants to go in company with Ma^fty Snow and her father, and I don't blame him a mite — I was young once myself. The Squire is laid up now with rheumatiz, can't step a step 4b his left foot. I was out on the back stoop, a shakin' my table cloth and Josiah was out there a grindin' his jack knife on the grindstui, and I says to him, again : "Josiah Allen it is time for us to pre- pare." Says he, " I thought mebby you'd want to give up goin', Samantha.'-' " / toant to give up goin* /" says I, in a almost mekanical tone, but very cold. "Yes," says he in a sickly and almost foolish tone. " I didn't know but you'd want to wait till the next one ; I didn't know but you'd drather." " Drather /" I repeated still more icily. "I would wait if I was in your place Josiah Allen, till we are as old as the hills ; if we was alive we'd be carried there in a side- show, and you know it ;" and I folded up my table cloth almost severely. "Well," says he, tryin' the age of the knife with his fingers, " I don't think /shall go anyway. " Says I, layin' the table cloth over my left arm, and foldin' my right and left arm, tryin' hard to keep some composed (on the outside) : " What are your reasons, Josiah Allen!' " Oh," says he, in a kind of a blind way- goin* to grindin' again, — " I have my r sons, but it haint always best to tell reas to everybody." And jest so he kep' a grindin' and a ha in' back and a actin'. It was a curiouR tim very. I a standin' there erect and firm o^ the stoop, with my table cloth on my left arm and earnestness on my eyebrow, and he half bent, a grindin' away on that old jack- knife, with obstinacy on his brow, a tellin' me in a blind mysterious way that he had his reasons and wouldn't tell em. Oh ! how offish and strange men will act. Truly, truly, doth the poet observe, "that men are wild, and have their spells." There Josiah Allen had acted to the De- batin'-school all np in arms about goin.' He knew the nation would expect me to be present. He knew well what a gloom it would cast over the Sentinal if I wasn't there, a shadder that would spread (as you may say) from pole to pole. Josiah Allen knew all about it; he knew well how I had lotted on makiu' a martyr of myself in the cause of Right and Wimmen, and here he had to baulk in the harness. Truly, men. are as contrary creeters as the earth affords,, when they are a mind to be. Every mar- ried woman will join with me in say- in', that there are moments in married lite, when mules seem to be patterns of yieldia' sweetness and obligin'ness compared with lavrf ul pardners. But here., in this tryin' moment was where mind stepped in to the relief of matter and Samantha. Some wimmen when they see their pardners act so strange and uurious, would have give up, Not so Samantha. Here was where the deep and arduous study of her lifetime into the heights and depths of the manly mind soared up and triumphed. I didn't act skairt at all by him, neither did I show out that I was mad — though I was inwardly — to see him act so offish and ob- stinate. No ! I looked down on him a grind- iuff', and a actin', with a almost marble calm ; and with a resolution nearly cast- iron I concealed my opinion of him and kep' my tongue in my head, and with a slow, even, and almost majestic tread I turned round and went back in the house, laid my table doth on the buttery shelf, and begun my f K 49 .TOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. preparations to conqaer and to triumph. At just noon, I called him into the house to as good a dinner aa Jonesville ever offered to man or beait. Again science, philosophy and Samantha -conquered. Josian had got throughwith the turkey and vegetables of all kinds, and there was a sweet 3mile on his face as I brought on the cherrv puddin', and a tender, af- f octionate look to his eyes as he looked up at :iict when I sot the bowl of sweet sass to cat ' >n it m front of him. Then I know the time had come, the hour was ripe, and I boldly and confidentially tackled him as to what his reasons was. And without a struggle or a murmur he says in gentle axents : "Samantha, my pantaloons haint suitable to wear to the Sentimental, they sre all fray- ed out round the bottoms, and yon can see your face in the knees, they are so shiny, they are as good as lookin' gi asses. " I felt dretful well to think I had cume ^)ffoouqueror,and awful relieved to think my parduer's reasons was them I could grapple with and overthrow. I see that my mission could be preformed about, my tower gone off on. And then my Companiou's aff<^ct- ionate mean endeared him to me dretfuUy V f'orthe time beio', and take it altogether I j-: feel so dretful eloquent, I soared right np in i half a minute to a height of happiness and V I' eloquence that I hadn't sot on for days and : j-jdays, and I broke right out in a noble ori- II terin' tone, and as affectionate as they 'jnake: "Josiah Allen that pure and heavenly lossom of True Love never floated down rem Eden bowers into this tronblesome orld, without its whiteness makin' the sonl .Vhiter that it lighted down 'on. It nerer varmed the heart with a breath of the leavenly climate it was bom in vsithotit in- pirin' that heart with a desire and a in- .piration to help the beloved object." Says ' firmly, "Store clothes are not a goin' to )art my companion and happiness," and I l^idded~in still more lofty tones for I felt loble in spirit as I said it — "take the last humin' of butter Josiah Allen, and go to bnesville and git the cloth for a new pair of f pantaloons, and I will make then for yon r perish on the pfess board. "Well," says ne sweetly, as he helped imself to the sweet sass, "then we will go to ihe Sentimental." (I have give up tryin' to hare Josiah call t anything but Sentiment*!, because I see >lain after arguin' for several weeks on it, hat argument was wasted, and breath spent n vain. He says he has spelt the word over time an^ kgsin* *nd studied on it a sight, nd he Unows it is as near that as ftnythmg;, ,u 1 lie iciUcM it Sentimental.) Well, the very day I<|Mllkd his trowsers, he broached a new i4«h to me. We had been a layiu' out to «|on the car8,but Josiah says to me, sa>s her "What do you say Samantha to eoin with the old mare, and kinder visitin' along the road; we have got lots of relations that live all along the way, some on my side, and some on youm. They've all visited us tim# and again, and wo haint never been nigh 'en> to visit 'em. Wh|kt do yon say Samantha, to goiu' in our own oonvenienoe." "You mean conveyance," says I firmly. "Well I said so didn 1 1; what do you say to it, Samantha ?" Says I, "I haint a goin' in that old bugg; ofourn." Says he, "That buggy was high-toned enough for father, and lor grandfather, and it ort to be for us. " Says I, "It is dangerous Josiah Allen and yon know it. Have you forgot," says' I, "how sister Minkley went right down through ohe bottom the other day when you was a helpin'her in !" Says I, "It skairt you Josiah Allen, and you know it ; the minute you leggo of her, to have her go right down througn the bottom, and set dowb on the ex. ft was enough to start anybody. " "Well, what business has a woman to weigh roore'n a ton ? I've mendied it." Says I, "Truly m tbe matter of heft Jo- siah Allen, let everybody be fully perswaded in their own mind. And she don't weigh near a ton, she don't weigh more'n three hundred and fifty." "The buggy was good enough for father and grandfatner," he kep' a arguin'. "But," says I in reasonable axents, "them two old men never sot out on towers of Principle. They never sot oat as Promis- cous Advisors in the cause of Right; if they had, they would have wanted to feel free and prouiiscons in their mindf . They wouldn't have wanted to feel ^able in the loftiest moments of their hig& mission, to break through and oome down across a ex, They would have felt taat a top buggy was none too high-toned *o bear "em on* wards." Says he, "It will make talk, Samantha. The neighbours will think we are too loos» principled, and hanty." Says I, "The neighbonrs say now we are too tight to git a new one. I had jest as lives be called too loose, as too tight. And you know,"— says I in reasonable tones, "you know Josiah Allen, that we have set to be Lulled snnthin' by 'em, anyway. We have got money out at interest, and we are goin' down the hill of life, and if we can go down any easier in a top buggy, I don't irhy we shouldn't have it to go in, " THE WIDDER AND THE WIDOWER. Jflk «7 So finally after conniderable urgin', I got Jofliah headed towards Jonesville after a top bnggy. And I and the Widder Domlle kep' watch to th« winder all day, expectin' to gee the new buggy » oomin' home with Joeiah; but he oome back at night empty-handed bnt all worked up with another new idea, and Rays he: "What do yon ny Samantha to buyin' a phanthom — a pony phanthom. The man says they are easier ridin', easier to get into, and he thought yon would like it better than • top buggy. And he said they was all the fashion t^. " Bnt I answered him calmly. "Fashion or no fashion, I shant ride no phantom Joiiak Allen. I shant ^ to the Sentinal on my lofty mission, a ndin' a phantom. Though," says I more mildly, "phantoms may be wil- liii' cri^^ters to go, and easy ridin', but I don't seem to have no drawin' towards 'am. A top buggy is my theme." So I held 6rm, and finally Joseph bought one. It was a second-handed one, and fair lookin', big and roomy. In shape it wasn't the height of fashion,- bein' kina o' bowin' up at the back, and sort o' spreatl out like in front; a curious shape. I never see none ex- actly like it, before nor sense. They said the man that built it, made up the pattern in his own head, and there hadn't nobody ever foUered it. He died a few weeks after he made it; Thomas Jefferson said he guess- ed it killed him, the shape was so curious that it skairt the man to death. But it wasn't no snoh thing; ha had the billeroua ooUc. Josiah waa so perfectly delighte.i with it that he would go ont to the bam and look at it for hours, and I was most afraid he was aettin' his heart too much on it; and I told Thomas Jeffersen so, but he told me not to worry; says he, "it wouldn't ba a mite wicked for father to worship it*' Says I, "Thomas Jefferson do yon realize what yon are a talkin' about ?" says I, "It scares me toj hear yon talk so wicked when I brought you up in snoh a Bible way." Says he, "There is where I got it, mother. I got it out of the Bible; yon know it says you shall not worship anything that is in tha shape of anything on earth,(n> m the heavens, ' or in the waters under the earth. And that is why it would be perfectly safe for father to worship the bng^." I see through it in a minute; though I never should have thought on it myself. What a mind that boy um got; he grows deep •very day. Josiah sud ha couldnt laiiva tha eolt to home, as tiie old mare would ba liable tare right roand iA the §iritk na any iima^ and start [ back tor home : but I told him that whan anybody sot off on a tower as a martyr and a Promiscous Advisor, a few colts more or leea wasn't a goin' to overthrow 'em and their principles. Says I, we will hitch the colt to the old mare, Jofliah Allen, and march on- wards nobly in the cau^e of Eieht. But still there was a kind of a straggler of a thought hangin' round the age of my mind, to worry me a very little; and I says to my Josiah dreamily : "I wonder if they'll be glad to see us. Anything but bringin' trouble onto folks be- cause they are unfortunate enough to be bom cousins to yon, unbeknown to them. " "But," says Josiah, "we owe a visit to every one on 'em, and some on 'em two or three." And so we did. They had all of 'em visited us years ago, more or less on 'em out of every family. There was Zebulin Coffin'- ses wife and four of his boys; Philander Spicer'ses wife and Philander — they all made us long visits; and Serepta Simmons — she that was Serepta Smith — made it her home wiflt mother and me for years before she was married — we helped to bring her up on a bottle. And then there was Delila, Melankton Spicer'ses wife had visited ns with Philander'ses folks when they were first married, she was Philander's wife's sister. We had promised to pay their visits back, and laid out to, but it hadn't seemed to come right, somehow. But now, everything seemed to promise fair for a first-rate time for us and them. We would be jouraeyin' onwards to- WMds the Sentinal, and the cause of Bight. Onr clothes (now Josiah bad got some new pantaloons and I a new dress) would look well, and almost foamin'. We had abeanti- ful top buggy, and take it, altogether, it did truly seem almost as Josiah said, that we was havin' onr good things all on earth. Bnt anon, or a very little after, a new ques- tion come up; what should we do with the Widder Doodle; she didn't want to go, and she didn't want to stay. And lo, what should we do with her to do right ? I am sot on doin' by the Widder aa I would wish to ba done by if I should oome onto the toitti and have to be took in and done for; and BO dav and night this deep and wearin' thought kep' ft hauntin' me— though I tried to keapcool on the outside— "she don't want to go, and she don't want to stay; and -so what shall I do with the Widder Doodle?" THE WIDDEB AHD THE WIDOWEB. Sdomon Cypher ia a widower! Yen, he haa loat his wife with tha tyfua; ihe was a awelled neck,^bat that I never laid it np " told Thomas J. >n to naa loac nis wue wiui vna v; la to likely wemap» had a awelledi road wasn't nothm' ftg'^nMi her; I ■tart I Mi'inst her for a minnte. It t(^ I flAI '^'^ JUSIAE ALLEN'kS wife. when h« broaght me the news, that I wished he And I WM as likely a woman as she was," and says I, still more warmly, "if the hull world was as likely a woman as she was there wouldn't be so much cuttin' up, and octin' as there is now." And aays I, "Thomas J., it stands us in hand to be pre- pared." But somehow it is awful hard to git that l>oy to take a realiziu' sense of thinss; his morals are dretful sound, but a good deal of he time he is light and trifliu' in nis demean- ir and his talk; and his mind dont seem to be so stabled as I could wish it to be. Now I don't s'pose there would anybody believe me, but tne very next day but one after Nancy Cypher'ses death, that boy be- gun to laugh at his aunt Doodle about the relict. I told him I never see anything in my hull life so kicked an awful, and I asked aim where he s'pjsed he'd go to. Ue was fixiu' on a paper collar to the look- in' glass, and he says in a kind of a chirk way, and in a fine polite tone: "I s'pose I i| ' shall go to the weddin'." is.) Good landl you might jest as well exhort ft the wind to stop bio win' when it is out on a 4i ^regular spree, as to stop him when he gits to % b^avin'. But I guess he got the worst of it i; this time, 1 guess nis aunt Doodle skairt him I — she took on so when hesejested the idee of y! her marryin' to another man. She bust right out cryin', took out her anuflf handkerchief, and rubbed,hereyes with both hands, her elbo's standin' out most straight; she took it awfuL "Oh Doodle! Doodle!" says she, "what if you had lived to hear your relict laughed at about marrvin' to another man. What agony it would have brung to your dead line- nTent; I can't bear it, I cant. Oh! when I think how he worshipped the ground I walked on; and the neignbours said he did; they said he thought more of the ground than he did of me; but he didn't, he wor- shipped us both. And what would his feel- in's be if he'd lived to see his Widder laughed at about another man. " She sobbed like a infant babe; and I oome to the buttery door with my nutmeg^ater in my hand, and winked at Thomas Jefferson two or three times, not to say another word to hurt her feelin's. They was real firm and severe winks and he knew i meant 'em, and he took up one of his law books and went to readin', and I went back to makin' my fruit cake and cherry pies. But I kep' one eye out at her, not knowin' what trouble 'n the practice. " A ^rd blow," says he, peltin' himself again right in his Ireast. "Yes," says sister Doodle, puttin' her snuff handkerchief to her eyes. " I can feel to'sympathize with you, I know what feelin's I felt when I lost Doodle." Not a word does she say about broUier Timothy, but I hold firm and so does Joeiah;. we do well by the Widder. Says he, "I believe yon never see the corpse." "No," says she, "bat I have heerd her well spoke of; sister Samantha was a sayin' jest before you oome in, that she was a likely Woman. " " She was!" says he a smitin' himself hard, " she was; my heart strings was completely wrapped round that womta; not a pair of pantaloons have I hired made sense we was both on us married to eaohr other; nor a vest. I tell you it in hard to give her up Widder; dretful hard; she \nts healthy, savin', equi- nomidal, hard workin', pious; I never real- ised how mnoh I loved that woottui;'* says h» THE WIDDER AND THE WIDOWER. in a heart-broken tone, " I never did till I ■ee I mnst give her up and hire a girl at 2 dollars a week; and they waste mnre'n their necks are worth." Here he stopped a moment and sithed, and she sithed, so loud that I could hear 'em plain into the buttery; and then he went on in still more melan- oholly and despairin' tones. "I tell you I have seen trouble for the last month Widder. It's only four weeks ago yesterday that I lost the best cow I had, and now my wife is dead; I tell you it cuts me right down Widder, it makes me feel dretful poor." I oould tell by his roice that he was Jest readv to bast out cry in' ; Solomon t.akes her death hard, dretful. Here they both sithed asain so powerful that they seemed more Use groans than common sithes ; and then ke continued on : " It seems WiSder a* if my heart will bust," and I oonld see as I went aorott the buttery for the rollin' pin, that he had laid his left hand over his heart, as if he was holdin' it inside of his vest by main strength; "it seems as if it must bnst, it is lo full of tender memories for that woman. When I think how she would git np and build fires in the winter — ** " Tuat is jest what I love to do," says sister Doodle, ** I always built fires for my Doodle." "Did you Widder?" says he, and bis tone seemed to be some chirker than it was. " I wish you had been acquainted with the corpse, I believe yoawoolahav 3 loved each other like sisters." Sister Doodle took her snuff handkerchief down from her face and says she in a more •heerfol tone : "You must chirk np, Mr. Cypher} yo« must look forred to happier days." " Yes," says he, ''I know there is another spear, and I try to keep it in view, ^nd hang my hopes upon it; a spear where hired cirls are unknown, and partin's are no more. " I can't hear hirod girls," says sister Doodle. " I wouldn't have one round when / was a keepin' house." "Gan'tyou bear hired girls f says Solo- mon. " You make me feel better, Widder, than I did feel when I came in here 1 You chirk me up Widder 1 I believe you look like the oorjpse ; you look out of your eyes as she looked out of hern. Oh what a woman that was ; she knew her place so well ; you couldn't have hired her to vote ; she said she'd drather dig potatoes any time —she was %n cood as a man at that, when I'd git kinder belated with my work ; she'd dig as fast as I could any da^." i "I as I "I lov to dig potatoes," says the Widder." "I do feel better," says Solomon, know I don't feel nigh so cast down did." "And no money wouldn't hire me to rote." "You do look like her," Mys he bustin' out in a real convinced tone, " I hnovo yo\x do ; I can see it plainer and plainer. You make me think on her." " Well," says she " then you most think on me all ^ '>u can. Think on me anytime it's agreeable to you ; it don't make no differ- ence when ; any time, day or ni£;ht ; don't be delicate about it at all. I'll be glad if I can ohirk yea ap that way, or any other. " "You have; you have ohirked me up Widder ; I feel better than I did when 1 come in here." "Well then you mast come real often and be ohirked up. I haint nothin* to do hardly, and I may jest as well be a ohirkin' you np as not, and better." " I will come," says he. " Well, so do ; come Sunday nighti or any time when it is the handiest to you." "I will, Widder, I wiU ;" says he. I can't say but what my mind put out this deep question to myself as I stood there a hearin^ sister Doodle go on ; " Samantha, ort times ort is how many ?" And though I answered back to myselt calmly and firmly, "ort ;" still, thinks'es I to myself, she is a clever critter, and what little sence she has got ni :ad that it more than you can say of some fnlks'es sence — some folks'fi i^uis to meanness every mite of it ; I wen* out and ffot my dress and veil. I felt sorry for S(Momon, rtrj \ and as I handed 'em to him, I says, trym' to comfort him : "She was a likely woman, and I haint a doubt but what she is better off now." But he didn't s«em to like it, though I spoke with such good motives. He spoke up real crank : " I don't know about that ; I don't know about her bein' better off, I did well by her." I heerd my pies a sozzlin oTer in the oven bottom, and I hastened to their rescue, and Solomon started off. The Widder, that clever critter, went to the door, and as he went down the door step, I didn't hear jeat what she said to him— bein' a tumin' mj pies at the time — but I heerd his answer ; li was this : "I feel better than I did feel." I thought considerable that afternoon (to myself) what clever streaks the Widder Doodle did have in her (considerin' me sense) when all of a sudden she give Imt !)■■ 00 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. Il m another Hafliple ot it. We got to talkia' :\i»out the Sentinal and though luy dunieAnour was calm, and my mean uontiiderable cool, tli»^ ohl quentiou would come up in ray mind ; *' What shall I do with the bidder Doodle ; what can I nin' house on her ; had to Sflvt s^ carry the meetin'housa ShackviUs hi^'a place where they thought the minister's M« 82 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. wife belonged to 'em, si some other places do think besides Sbaokville. How* sumever, I didn't know any of these things only by hearsay, until I arrove at her dweUing ; then I knew by sight, and not by ear. As I first lo&ked on her ffioe, I oonldn't help thinkin' of what I told Elder Simmons the mornin' he was married ; for never did a apple blow show more signs of frost and chill after an untimely storm, than did the face of she that was Serepta Smith. Her cheeks was as white and pale as a posy blown down on the frosty (ground, and her eyes had the old timid, scareful look, and under that, whole loads of care and anxiety, and weariness ; and over all her face was the old look I remembered so well— only 100 times stronger— of wantir' to do jest rights and just what everybody wanted her to do. As I said, she was awful tickled to see U3. But she was so fall of care and anxiety, and work, she oould'nt hardly speak to vs. She h-ad'nt no girl, and was tryin' to get supper for that hall drove of men, and lisd'nt much to do it with, for theElder after spendin' his hull life and strength in tryin' to keep 'em straight in this world and get* tin' 'em headed straight towards the next, could'nt get his pay from the Shaokvillians. Her ohildem was a foUerin' her roand— her husband needin' headin' off every moment or two, he was that absent-minded. I declare, I never was sorrier for anybody than I was for Serepta. And then right on the top of her other safferiu's, every time she would come into the settin'-room, one tall minister with a cadavery louk and long yeller whiskers would tackle her on the subject of religion, trjrin' to get her to relate her experience, right there, and tellin' of her hisen. That seemed to wear on her the meet of anything, a wantin' to use him well, and knowin' her supper was a rpilein', and her infant babes demandin' her attention, and her husband a foablin' round in the suller way, or but* terr, needin' headib' oS. Truly, in the words of the Sanunist, **ther* is a time for things, and a place for 'em," and it seemed as if he might have known better. fiat ha was one of the kind that will talk. And there he sot lookin' calm and cadavenr, a pullin' his old veller whiskers, and holdio' her tight by the veins of h«r good manners, a ursin' her to tell her •xpevienoe, and tellin' of her hisen. Ide- «lare, I'd been glad to have laid holt of his •td yeller whiskers myself, I was that out •f patience with him, and I'll bet he'd a felt it If I had. Finally I spoke up and says I : " Sat right down and relate your experi* Swept*." flays I, "What ia nttles compared to instructive and edifyin' conver* sation?" Says I, " I wouldn't try to get m- mite of supper to>night." Knowin* what I do know, divin' deee into the heights and depths of men's naters as I have doven, I knew that this would break Serepta's chains. She wasn't exhort* ed any more. She had time to get their suppers. And I laid to and helped her all I could. I got two of the infant babes to sleep, and cive the two biegest boys some candy, and headed him ofTonce or twice, and eased her burdens all I could. But she was dretful worried where to put 'em to sleep. The hard and wearisome task of gettin' 17 men into three beds without Itkyia' 'em on top of each other, was a wearin' on her. And she was determined to hava Josiah and me stay too. She said she waa used to jest such a house full, and she should get alon^ Says I, mildly but firmly, "Serepta, I haint a goin' to ueap on the l>attery shelves, nor I don't want you to, it is dangerous. Josiah and me will aet a lodgment to tha tarven in Shack ville, and lodge there. And to-morrow, when the crowd gets thinned out, wa will come back and make our visit. ** She told us not to go ; she said there was a comer of the parlour tiiat wasn't occupied, and she had blankets enoagh, she could maka us comfortable. Says I, " Hang on to the comer yourseli^ Serapta, if you can. Josiah and me hav» made up 2 our minds. We are goin' to the tarven." Says Jonah — for he seemed to think ii would comfort her — " Well come back again, Serepta, we'll come b^k bime-by." l%e next day early in the forenoon, a.il, we arrove again at Serepta's dwellin*. Sha had jest sot the last man of the drove started off, but she was tusslin' with two colporteia and an agent for a Bible Society. And twa wimmen set by ready to grapple her as soon as the men started off. One of 'em had a sort of a mournful look, and the other was aa hard a lookin' woman as I ever see. Sha was fearfully humbly, but that ain't why I call her hard lookin'. I don't lay up her humbleness ag'im t her, knowin' weU that our faces haint made to order. But she looked hard, as if her nater was hard as a rock ; and her heart, and her disposition, and every* thing. She had a laree wart on her nose, and that also looked hard as a gravel stun, and sons like it. She had a few long whis« kers ffrowin' out under her chin, and I could^t help wonderin' how anything in the line of vegetation could grow out of such » grannyt soiL After lookin' at her half a miante it didn't surprise ma a mite to hear that her name waa HOW SEREPTA CARRIED THE MEETIN' HOUSE. 81 Horn, Miss Horn. I see these two wimmen look round the hoase examinia' everything as close as if they was goin' to be iwom about it to a justice to save their lives. Serepta hadn't had time to wash a dish, nor awee'p aiinsle sweep, and her children wasn't pressed. And 1 heerd Miss Horn hunch the other one with her lai|;e bony knuckles, id whisper: " She lays abed shamefully late sometimes. The smoke rose out of her chimbly this xnornin' at exactly 17 minutes past 6, jest an liour and two nunutes earlier than it was yesterday momin', and half au hour and twenty seconds earlier than it was the mom- in' before that." " Oettin' up and bumin' out the wood the meetin' house furnishes for 'em, and not a -dish washed. It is a shame," says the other woman. "A shame ! " says Miss Horn. *' It is a bumin' shame, for a minister's wife, that ort to be a pattern to the meetin' house. And ahe can't find time to go a visitin, and talk about her neighbour's afifairs. When any- body don't feel like visitin' and talkin' about their neighbours' doin's, it is a sign there is sunthin' wrong about 'em. There haint a thing done in the neighbourhood but what I am knowin' to ; not a quarrel for the last twenty years but what I have had my hand in it. I am ready to go a visitin' every day o£ my life, and see what is goin' on. I haint too haughty and proud spirited to go into back doors without knockin' and see what folks are a doin' in their kitchens, and what they are a talkin' about when they think nobody is round. And it shows a haughty, proud spirit when anybody haint willin' to uo round and see what they can see in folks'es housen and talk it over with the other neigh* bours." Says the moumful woman, "I heard Bill Danks'es wife say the other day that she thought it looked queer to her, her visitin' the poor members of the church jest as often as she did the rich ones. She thought — Bill's wife did— that it looked shiftless in her.** " She is shiftleH," isys Miss Hjm. " She acts dretful sort o' pleasant," says the other woman, "seems willin' to acoom« modate her neighbours ; stands ready to help ^em in times of trouble ; and seems to iareat everybody in a lady-like, quiet way ; but I persume it is all put on." " Put on I I know it is put on," says Miss Horn. " Slie has j^ot a proud, haughty soul, or she would be willin' to do as the rest of us da** And then she stopped whisperin' for kalf a minute and looked round the house MpAn, and hvnohed the other woman, and whis[ ercd — " For a minister's wife that ort to be a pattern, such housekecpin' is shame- ful." And the Bible agent spoke up jest then, and says he, "Of course, as a minister's wife and a helper in Israel, yon are willin' to give your time to us, and bear our bar- dens." And Serepta sithed and said she was— and she meant it too. I declare, it was all I could do to keep my peace. But I am naterally very close-mouthed, so I kep' still. Serepta couldn't hear what the wim- men said, for she was a tryin' with that anxious face of hem to hear every word the Bible agent had to say, and to try to dc jest what was right by the colporters. And the moumful lookiu' woman hunched Miss Hom, and says she, — "Jest see how she listens to them men. She seems to talk to 'em jest as free as if they was wimmen. It may be all right, but it don't look well. And how earnest they are a talkin' to her ; they seem to sort o' look up to her, as if she was jestabout right. Men dca'f- have no such a sort of a respect- ful, r«. "srential look onto their faces when they are a talkin' to you or me ; they don't look up to ua in no such sort of a way. There may be nothin' wrong in it, but it don't look well. It would almost seem as if they was after her." "After her f I know they are after her, or else they wouldn't be a talkin' to her no respectful, and she is after them that is plain to be seen, or else she wouldn't be a listenin' to 'em jest as qiiiet and eomposed as if they was wimmen. A righ^ kind of a woman has a sort of a mistrustin' look to 'em, when they aro a talkin' to men ; they have a sort of a watchful turn to their eye, as if they was a lookin' out for 'em, loolun' out for sunthin' wrong. I always have that look onto me, and you can see that she haint a mite of it. See her set there and talk. Jf ever a woman was after a man she is after them thr«e men." I couldn't have sot and heerd another word of their envious, spiteful, low-lived gosrip, without bustin' rieht out on the spot, and speakin' mjp mind before 'em all, so I baooned the childem ont into Serepta's room, and washed and dressed 'em, and then I took holt and put on her dish-water and bilt a fire nnder it, fer it had gone out whila she was a'tusslin' with them agents. When I went back into the sittin'-room again, I see the colporters bad (roue, and the wimmen had tackled her. They wanted her to join a new society they had 'est got np, "Tho Cumberin' Marthas. " Serepta's face looked awfnl troubled, her mind a soarin' ofF I knew out into the kit* ohen, amongst her dishes that wasn't washed. «& 64 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFP^ ^ -.'% I and her infant babes, and I could see she was a listenin' to see if she could hear any- thing of her husband, and \7hether he needed he«din' off. But she wanted to do jest right, and told 'em so. " Shd iroold join it, if the church thought WM her duty to, though ' as she belonged to fourteen cufferent societies now, she didn't know really when she could ait time — " "Time r says Miss Horn. "I guess there is time enough in the world to do duties. 'Go to the ant thou sluggard, oonsider her ways and be wise.' " And as she repeated this lias of poetry, she groaned some, and rolled np the whites of her eyes. Sereuta's face looked red as blood, but she didn't answer a word back. Serepta Sim- mons is a Christian. I *believe it as much as I believe I am J. Allen's Wife. And I spoke right v^ and saya I: "Bern* a searohet after information, and epeakin' as a private investigater, and a wo- man that has a Vow on her, I asked what the Marthas expected to do ?" Says Miss Horn, "They are expected to be cumbered all the time with cares ; to be readj any time, drty or night, to do anything the public demands of 'em ; to give all their time, their treasure if they have got any,and all the energies of their mind and body to the public good, to be cumbered by it in any and every way." Says I, "Again, I ask you as a private womait with a vow, aint it hard on the iMartiius ?" .SFie Wd it was ; but she was proud to be nnejBrt 'em, proud to be cumbered. And she said — givm' Serepta a awful searchiu' look — "That when a certain person that ort TO be a pattern, and a burnin' and a shiniu' light, wouldn't put their name ('.own, there was weaker vessels that it wov' i be apt to break into— it would make divisions and 'dims;" , Ihat skairt Serepta and she was just about puutio' her name down, but couldn't help murmurin' sunthin' about time, "afraid I won't have time to do jest right by every- body." "Time I" aays Miss Honi, soomfuUy and aagrily<*-,'friroe ! 'Qo to the ant thou slug- gard, consider her ways and be wise.' " But just as Miss Horn was a finishin' re- peatia* her poetry, and before Serepta had Hme to put her name down, all of a sudden the door opened, and another great tall wo- wau marched in. I noticed there didn't none of 'em knock, but just opened the door and stalked in, just as if the minister's hbuie, as w«ll as he and his wife belonged to 'em and they had a p^fect right to stream in every miuate. I declare, it maOdel m«,rv>rlsay if home means anything it! means a place where anybody can find rest, { and repose and freedom 'from unwelcome iu- trusion. And I say, and I contend it, that I had jest as lives have anybody steed any- thing else from me, as to steal my time and my comfort. There probable haint a woman standin' on feet at tbe present age of the world, (with or without vows on 'em) that is more horsepitAble, and gladder to see her friends than Samantha Allen, late Smith. There are those, whose ^resenceis morerestful and refreshin'.and inspirin' than the best cup of tea or coffee that ever was drunk. Tbe heart, soul, and mind, send ovt stronger tendrils that cling closer and firmer eren than some of the twigs of the family tree. Kindred aims, hopes, and sympathies are a closer tie than 4th cousin. There is help, inspiration and delight in the presence of those who more nearly and truly related to us than if they was bom on our father's or mother's side unbeknown to them. And friends of our soul, it would be a hard world indeed, if we could never meet each other. Anc^ I would advise Se- repta as a filler of the bottle she was brought up on, and a well-wisher, to visit back and forth occasionally, at proper times and sea- sons, and neighbour considerable with all who might wish to neighbour, be the aliens or friends, Horns or softer materifll. Standin' firm and steadfast, ready to borrow and lend salaratus, clothes-pins, allspice, bluein' bags, and etcetery, and in times of trouble, stand- in' by 'em like a rock, and so 4th. The Bible says, "Iron sharpeneth iron, so does a man the countenance of his friend. '* But in the words of tht Sammist (slightly changed), there is a time for visitin' and a time for stayin' to home. A time to neigh* hour, and a time to refrain from neighbourin' — a time to talk, and a time to write ser- mons, wash dishes,and mop out the kitchen. And what I would beware Miss Horn and the rest of 'em is, of sharpenin' that "iron" so uncommon sharp that it Will cut friend- ship right into the middle; or keep on sharp- enin' it, till they git such a awful fine pint on it, that before they knew it, it. will break right off so blunt that they can't never git an age put on it again. They ort to respect and reverence each other's individuality. — (That is along hefty word, but I have got it all right, fdr I looked it out in Thomas Jefferson's big dictionary, see what it meant, and ipelt it all out as I went aloiup; nobody need be afraid of sayin' it jest as I have got it down.) Because Miss Horn, and the rest of 'em git lonesome, they hadn't ort to inflict themselves and their gossip onto a busy man or woman who don't tret luaeiwvne. Good land I if anyboijf lay» HOW SEREPTA CARltllfb THE M^ETIN' HOUSE. M holt of life as they ort to, they haint no time to be lonesome. Now Serepta Simmons meant uell, and liked her neighbours, and their children, and wanted to treat 'em frien(1l3' and handsome. But she hankered dretfnUy after havin' a home of her own, and not livin' xnth 'em all preiniBCOus (as it were.) But they woii't let her, she didji't have a minute 6he could call her own. The Shack- viUians seemed to thiok she belonged to 'em, iest as much bs the dock on the meetin' house did, and then perused her every minute jest as they dia that. It made her feel curion^^ snnthin' as if she was livin' out doors, u^ in an open cage in the mena- gery way. 'i'hey docked in on her all the hull time without knockin', at all times of the day and night, before breakfast and after bedtime, antl right alon^:; through the day, stiddy ; watchin' her Avith as keen a vision as if she was a one-eyed tut-key carried round for a side-show ; findin' fanlt with everything she did or didn't, iuflictln' their gossip on her, and coUectin' all they could to retail to other fulk'es houses; watchin' every motion she made and commentin' on it in public; catchin' every little word she dropped in answer to their gussipiu' remarks, and addin' and swellin' out that little word tiU it wouldn't know itself it was so ditferent, and then re- peatin' it on the house tops (as it were). I declare, it madded me to see a likely woman so imposed upon, and I thought to myself, if it was me, I should ruther have 'em steal pork right out of my pork barrell. thun ' to have 'em steal my peace and comfort. But as I was sayin', this woman come in right through|the back door without knockin , as independent as you please, and as she sot down sne looked all round the hot;se so's to remom^er how everything looker!, so's to tell it again, though Serepta wasn't no more to blame than a babe two or three hours old, for her woi'k not bein' done up. I see that this woman glared at Miss Horn, and Miss Holm glared oack at her, and I knew in a minute she was gittin' up another society. And so it turned out. She- wanted Serepta to head the list of the "Weejjin' Marys" a ODposition party to the "Oumberin' Mar- tftaH." Serepta looked as if she would sink. But I ipoke rig)xt up, "for I was determined to tsKe her part And says I, "Mom, I am of $a investigatin' torn, and am eollectin' in- formation on a tower, and may I ask as a well- wisher to the sect, wha-'y job has the • Woepin' Marys' got ahead of '«m. What titt they expected to tackle ?" says I in a polite way. Says she, "They are expected to spend I Ike hnll of their time, day and night, a learn- in', pryin' into docterines, and studjan' on some way to ameliorate the condition of 4he heathen, and the African gorillas." Says I, "In them cases if Serepta jinea 'em, what chance wouM the Mder run of gittin' anything to eat, or Serepta, or the children f" "Ea tin'," says she, "abatis eatiu' com. pared to a knowledge of the doot^jrinea and the condition of the perishin' heathen ?" " But," Stays Tin reasonable atents, "foUcs have got to eat or else die— and if they haint able to hire a girl, they have got to cOok the vittles themselves or else they 11 periih, and die jest as dead as a dead heathen." Speakin' about Serepta's time, always seemed to set Miss Horn otf onto her poetiy, and she repeated again, — "Go to the ant — " But I interrupted of her, and says I, "You have advised Serepta several times to go to her aunt and be wiae. J am her aunt, and I motion she falls in with the advice you have given her, in a handsome way. I advise her to do up her work. And I advise you t* clear out, all of you, and give her a chance to wash her dishes, and nurse her babies, and get her dinner." For truly dinner time waa approachin'. They acted mad, but they started off. Serepta's face was as write as a white cott<|n sheet, as she seen 'em go, she was that skairt; but I kep' pretty cool and ooDsiderable firm, for I see she needed a friend. I laid to and helped her do up her work, and git her din- ner. And she owned up to me that her work wouldn't seem to be nothin' to Iter if she could have her house and her time to herself some. I see plain, that slie was a oarryfn' the hull meetin' house on her back, though she didn't say so. I could fee that she dap* sant say her soul was her own, she was so afraid of offendin' the flock. She happened to say to mo as we was a washiu' rp the dishes, how much she wanted a new dress. Her uncle iad given her the money to git one, ltx:l « M JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. ■ti if I haiiit M dreasy m the other mmister's wife." Says I, " Serepta you are in a bad apot. Tou Mem to be in the aame place the old drunkard's wife was. He said he'd ' whip Sally if sapper was ready,' and he'd 'whip Sally if it wasn't'" "Yes," says she, "that is just where I ■tand. They say I am a pattern for the ihuroh to foUer, and so I must bd all the iime way from home a workin' for the heath- en and missionary societies, for a minister's wife must ' be given to good works*' And I must at the same time be to home sU the time a workin' and a takin' care of my family, 'For Sarah kept the tent.' I haTC got to be to home a encouragin' my husband all the time, 'a holdin' up his arms,' like Aaron and Hur, and I have got to be away all the time, a 'holdin' up the arK' I have got to be to home a lettin' out my little boy's pantaloons, and at the same time away ' eiilargia' the borders of Ziou.' I have got to givv all my time to convertin' the heathen or ' woe be to me,' and have got to be at home all the time a takin' <;are of my own house- hold, or I am 'worse than an infideL' Ana amoogst it all," says she, " there is so much expected of me, that I get sometimes so worn out and discouraged I don't know what to io." And Serepta's tears geutly drizzled down into the dish-water, for she was a washin', and I was a wipin'. I rubbed away on a pie-plate, a musin' in deep thought, and then I segested this to her, in pretty even tones, but earnest and " Did yon erer try a mindin' your own business, and makin* other folks mind theirnf" " Ko»** says she meekly. And she sithed asdeepatlarerheerd any oae sithe. "I mind my business pretty well," says she, "but I never tried to make othor folks mind theirn. I wasn't strong anough. " ••WeU," Mys L "Mfore I leave this place, I lay oat to aaka a ohai^'* Says I, **maay is tha time I hara iUed the bottle you was kroag ht ap on, and I haint a goin' to atand bjraMl see you killed. And before I laaTo ShaekviUe, tha meetin' honse has gat to i^t offni your back, or I'll know the She looked oonsideraUe skairt,bnt I could ■ea it made har f tal bettor to have somebody to sort o* lean on. And as we finished our dishes, (the buttery was full on *em, she hadn't had time to half wash 'em 4^0 night ba{ar«b) she want on and told mora of hwtrovhiea to me. Sh» said her husband bein' a handsome man, the other wimmen in the church natur- 4. ally took to him. She said there wasn't a Jeidous hair in the hull of her back hair, or oretop,and her husband's morals was known to her to be sound as sound could be, and she said he didn't like it no better than she did, this bein' foUered up so uncommon close by 'em. She said it was kinder wearin' on her to see it go on. But she meant to be reasonable, knowin' that ministers was al- ways took to by the wimmen. " Took to 1 " says I. " I should think as much ! " Says I, "Wimmen are as flat as pancakes in some things, and this is one of em. I have seen a pack of wimmen before now, a actin' round a minister, till their actin' was jest as good as thoroughwort to my stomach, jest as sickenin'." Says I, " I don't wonder that the 'postle spoke about how beautiful minister's feet was. I don't wonder that he mentioned their feet in par- ticular, for if ever there was a set of men that needed good feet in a world full of fool« ish wimmen, it is them." But Serepta sithed, and I see that she was a carryin' the meetin' honse, (as it were.) I see that Miss Horn was on her mind, and I pitied her. She said Miss Horn was the hardest cross she had to bare. She said she would watch her chimbly for hours, to see what time they got up. And havin' the newraligy a good deal, and settii.' up with it, watchin' with that and htr babies, she sometimes slept till late in the momin'. And her husband would git his brain so completely rousted up a writin' his sermons that he couldn't quell it down, and git it (]^uieted off so's to rest any till most momin*. And she said Miss Horn and her hired girl would rise at daybreak and watoh her cnunbly, one hour on, and one hour off, till they sea the smoke come out of it, and then one of 'em would sally out to tdl the exact minute to the neighbourhood, while the other got the breakfast They didn't try to do anything else, only jest oook, and tend to Serepta and the ower neighbonrs. And their gittin* np so early, five 'em a chan**^ to get their houseiirork one, and then have as many as seven houn ajneoelaftto gossip rowid the neighbow* hood. They made it profitablo, dretfnl, at Miss Horn told Serepta she despiaad loq^- nesB. But Serepta said it made her feel onrionsb when they would come in and tell her the exact minute the smoke of her oook stova rose upward, for she— bein' in the habit <^ goin' to work when she did git up — didn't have much time to devote to the pursuit of smok^ She said it was sort o' wearm on her, not sp much on the account of their oallin' her Imj* which she expected and looked out for, but it made her feel as if it was war time, and sh^ HOW SEREPTA CARRIED THE MEETIN' HOUSE. 57 WM one of the enemy. Sh<» aaid to think their eyes was on her chimbly jest as soon as the sun was np, a watchin' it so close, it give her as curious a feeling' as she ever felt; the felt somehow as if she was under the military. She said she felt as if she was a tory more'n half the time, on this very ac« count; it wore on her considerable. " Why don't you spunk up Serepta Sim* mons," says I, " and tell Miss Horn and the rest of 'em, that when you git so that you haint nothin' else to do but watch other folks'es ohimblys, yoa will hire out for a scarecrow, and so earn a respectable livin', and be somebody ?" "Oh," says she, "Miss Horn wouldn't Ukeitifldid." " Like it!" says I. "I don't s'pose asalt and batterers love to be took up and handled for their asal tin'," and says I, "I had jest as lives have my body salted and battered, as to have my leelin's. Oh!" says I almost wildly, "if I had the blowin' up of that Horn, I'll give it such a blast, that there would be no need of souudin' on it agam for years." I spoke almost incoherently, for I was agitated to an extreme degree. But Serepta went on to say that she had *' gained thirteen ounces of tiesh last winter, in one mouth. Miss Horn had been a visitin' ' to Loontown to a brother's who had died and left her quite a property. " And says she, *' I did hear that she was goiu' to be married to a widower up tVere, but I don't s'pose th«re is any such good news for me as that. I haint dated to lot on it much, knowin' well what a world of sorrow and affliction this is, and knowin' that freedom and happiness haint much likely to ever be my lot. I s'pose the chimbly and I have got to be watched jest as long as we both live." But she didn't have no time to multiply any more words, for as we looked out of the buttery winder, we see her husband a walken' slowly along backwards and for- wards with his hands under his coat tails, m composin' a sermon, as I s'posed. But as •a we looked, he forgot himself, and come up bunt ag'inst the bam, and hit hims(>lf a awful blow. on his forward ; Serepta started oil on the run to tend to him and head him off. But that very afternoon I had a change to speak my mind, and break her chains. Serepta and I was a settin' there as con- tented and happy as you please, for Serepta M'as a master hand to love her home, and would have give the best ear she had, for the priveledge of bein' let alone to m ake a happy home for them she loved, and take «are of 'enu She was a nieudin'her 2 boy's clothes, for they was as ragged as injuns. though truly as the poet observes, — " she was not to blame." And I also was a try* in' in my feeble way to help her and put a seat into the biggest little boy's pantalooni ; we had got 'em to bed for that purpose. And as we sot and worked, we could hear 'em in the room overhead, a throwio' the pillera, and talkin' Ulnguage that for miniS' ter's children was scandalous — for she had had to let 'em run loose, though to quote again the words of the poet, — "sJie was not to blame," havin' got it into her head that it was her duty to carry the meetin' house. Well, as I was a sayin', we was a settin' there, when all of a sudden, without no wamin' of no kind, the door opened without no rappin' on it, or anything, and in walked what I supposed at the time was the hull meetin' house; I was so wild at first as I be- held 'em, that I almost expected to see 'em bring in the steeple. I was skairt. But I found by striot measurement, when my senses come back, tiiat there wasn't only six* teen wimmen, and two children and one old deacon. I heerd afterwards, th..t he was the only man they could git to come with 'em to labour with Serepta. (He was old as the hills, and dretful childish, so they got round him.) Men has their faults. None can be more deeply sensible of that great truth than I am, as I often tell Josiah. But truly, so far as gossip and meddlin' and interferin' with your neighbour's business is concerned, wimmen is fur ahead of the more opposite sect. It is mysterious that it should be so, but so it is, factorum. Serepta looked white as a white ghost, and ready tosinkrightdown through the floor into the snller, for from past experience she knew they had come to labour with her. Bat I held firm as any rock you can bring up, Plymouth, Bunker Hill, or any of them. And when they glared at me, thank fortin I was enabled to do what duty and inelinatioa both called on me to do, and glare back at 'em, and do a good job in the Une o' glaiin*, toa They seemed to be as mad at me as they was at Serepta, and madder. But I wasn't afraid of any on 'em, and when they all com- menced talkin' to once, a complainin' of Se- repta and her dom's and her not doin's, my principles enabled me to look at 'em through my specks with a scornful mean, that would have spoke louder than words if they had understood anything of the language of means. Finally they all got to talkin' to^^er, a complainin'. "Why didn't she jine the •Cumberin' Marthas;' Why couldn't she head the ' Weepin' Marys ? ' Why don't sh« take more interest in the fraaale fellahs i M JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. 1 \ 'C of Cairo? Why don't she show more en- thusiMtn abouii the heathens and gorillas 7 " Just then I heard the bigffest little boy swear like a pirate, and kicK the other one out of be4, and I spoke coldly, very coldly: " She'll have a span of gorillas of her own pretty soon if she nain't allowed no time to take care CO 'em, she won't hare to ' go to Africa for 'flm, eijbher ; " says I, "Serepta will show you some male fellahs that wUl need more help than any of your female ones birae-by ; she will give you a good job in the line of heathens to convert in a few J^eam, if things £o on as they are a goin' on>now." With that Serepta burst right oat, and wept and cried, and cried and wept. It af- fected me awfully, and I spoke right up, and says I: "Heathens are first-rate themes to foUer, but there is different ways of follerin' 'em ; " ■ays I, "some will set their eyes on a heathen in Africa, and follow him so blindly that there can be ten heathens a caperin' right round 'em to home, and they won't see none on 'em." And then I felt so that I allegoried some right there on the spot. Says I: "After a big snow-storm it may seem noble and grand to go round sweepin' off meeiin' housen and etcetery ; but in my opin- ion duty would call on a man first to make a path to the well for his own family, and the barn, then shovel round freely, where duty called. What good does it do to go off in foreign pastures a cuttin' down thistle tops, when you are a raisin' a big crop of 'em to hom«> for somebody else to Be scratched by T What advantage to the world at large is it, if a woman converts one heathen way off in India, and at the same time, by neglect and inattention and carelessness, nuses a crop of ■•ren of 'em in her own hoasci My advioe to such would be — and ao would Josiah's — work in the garden Gk>d set yos over. Try by •amest oare and prayer, ontirin' diligent oul- tare, and, if needbe, anoooasionalrakin' down, to keep your own heathen crop down to the loweat possible state, and then after yon have done this, do all yon can for other heathens promisoous." But they glared at Serepta more slarin' than they had before, and says Miss Horn : — " She wont do nothin'; she is shiftiest. " And then I spoke out in tremblin' tones, I was so agitated : "Serepta is my own niece on my my father's side, and I helped to bring her up on a bottle, and she didn't nurse a cast-ron strength and a leather constitution out of it as some of yon seem to think she did ;" says I, "such is not the nature of cow's milk, neither is it the nature of bottles." Says I, " If she has got a tender, timid,lovin' dispo- sition, and one that is easily influenced, so much the more pity for her in this state, that Shaokville has called her to be in. But as it is, she is willin' to be killed, and yon with probable religions intentions are willin to kill her. Oh how thev glareoat me ; bat I kep' (f' as firm as Giboraltor : " Her husband is a good man, and thinbi enoogh of her ; but he is deep learnt ac4 absent-minded, and needs headin' off. An»\ when he is walkin' by himself through tk shady lanes and oreoked pathways of tU. dootidnes and oreeiiB, and so on, and so 4th ' when he is tryin' to stand np straight with one foot on Genesis, and the other on geoligy, tryin' his best to break a path through the wilderniss of beliefs % road that shall lead his hearers straight to heaven's gate ; with all this on his hands, how can he be ex- pected to keep his eye every minuto on the little woman by his side. How can he, when he is absent-minded, and needs headin' off, how can he be expected to know whether the nieetin'-house is oarryin' her or she is a carryin' the meetin'-house. " Says I, "Serepta Simmons is a Christian woman, and if she has time to spare after taken' care of them that Providence has placed in her keepin',she would be willin' to do what she could for ether heathen nations, and tribes ; it would be her duty and her priviledge. "But," says I, "because Serepta's hus- band is hired out to yon for 200 and fiO dol- lars a year, you have no more right to con- trol Serepta's actions, acd time, than yon have to order round that old stun female that keeps house by herself out in Egypt by the pjrramids. I can't think of her name, but nowsumerer it haint no mattor ; I wish Serepta had some of her traits, a good firm stun disposition, that couldn't M coaxed nor skairt into bearin' burdens enough tc break down seven wimmen. I'd lov« to set Jrou order old what's-her-name round ; I'd ove to see you make her do all the house- work and sewin' for a big family, head off a deep learnt, absent-minded husband, take care of five infant children, and carry ronnd a meetin' house. She's kep' a stiddy head on her shoulders and minded her own bnsiness for centnries, and so is a ?)attem for some other wimmen I know of, to oUow." Oh how that madded 'em and Miss Horn spoke up and says she: " We have got a claim on her, and we'll let you know we have." Says I, "The meetin' house pays Elder Simmons 200 and 60 dollars, and so has goc a claim on him, and how much does it lay out to pay Serepta; how much does it lay out to give her tor the comin' year f "Not one cent," screamed out Miss Horn A VISIT TO PHILANDER SPICERS'ES FOLKS. 6» II skairt. excited axents. "Not one cent," 'says the nine other wiminen and the old dea- con. j Then nays I, risin' np on my feet and waivin'myhand out nobly: ^ " Clear out, the hull caboodle of you, and" : I added in still firmer, nobler axents, " if .the meetin' house don't leggo of Serepta, I'll Unake it leggo." ^ I s'pose my mean was that awful and com- I mandin' that it filled 'em with awe, and [ ffFright. They started right off, almost on tie run, two able-bodied wimmen takin' the I Id deacon between 'em. * I had a letter from Serepta yesterday. ! ¥ihe is gettin' alone first rate; her time is her I t>wn; her children are gettin' more'n hidf tivilized; and the hM gained a ponnd a week. \.i A VISIT TO PHII^ABTDBB BPIOEBS'KII FC»fiKS. Knowin' that Philander Spicers'ea folks was well off, aud wouldn't be put to it for things to wait on us, we thought we wouldn't write to tell 'em we was a comin', but give 'em a happy surprise. They owned five hun- dred acres of land, and had oceans of money out at interest. Well, it was about the middle of the afternoon, p.m., when we arrove at their dwellin' place. It was a aw- ful big, noble lookin' house, but every win- der and winder blind was shut up tight, and it looked lonesome, and close; but I haint - one to be daunted, so I stepped up and wrung at the bell. Nobody come. Then I rung at it again, and Josiah took my umberell and kinder rapped on the door with it, pretty considerable loud; and then a dejected look- in' man hollered at us from the bwn door, and says he: " You wo nt g et In there." Says I, "Why not, is it the house of mournin' ?" says I; for there was ranthin' strange and melanchoUy in his tone. "Because you might let in a fly," says he. He didn't say nothin' more, but stood ft iookinV at ns dretful dejected and melan- choUy-like, and Josiah and me stood lookin' at him, and we felt curious, very. But pretty soon I found and recovered myself, and! says in pretty firm tones: " If Mahala Spicer, she that was Mahala Allen lives here, I lay out to see her before I leave these premises. " " Well," says the man, "foUer up that path round the back side of the house, and you'll find her; we live in the wood -house." As he said that, he seemed to kinder git over into the manger, and I laid holt of Jesifth; andfftys I: "That man is Philaniler Spicer, and he has seen trouble." " Bein' a married man he might ezpeot " Expect to vfhat Josiah Allen T" says I, lookin' at him with a mean that was like a icicle for stiffness and coolness. " Ohl I meant he mi^ht expect to lay ap Sroperty. What a big bouse I I declare amantha, I haint seen so big and nice ft house sense we left Jones ville." And truly, it was awful big and nice; big enough for half a dozen families, but it was phet up fearfully close and tight, as tight m if air and sunshine and Josiah and me was deadly pisen. And as we meandered ut c! the house, and once she asked me tvhich I preferred for mops, rags or tow. I triea to make talk with her, and says I, in a real friendly wav: " You have got three good lookin' chil- dern, Mahala.'^ " Yes," says she, " three and three is six, and three is nine, and three is twelve, and three is fifteen ; fifteen ruffles, at the least calculation, to make 'em look decent and like other folkes'es childem ; and the biggest one ought to have six." Says I, *' Your husband looks as if he might be a good man and a good nrovider." " Yes," says she, " he means well, but he is a awful hand to let in flies. Two years ago this summer he let in four at one time into my best room, I counted them as I drove em out. I got so wore out, a chasin' 'em and a tryin' to keep decent, that I made ap my mind that we would live out here." " You don't keep a girl, it seems ? " " No," said she, " I cannot get one to suit me. When I do my work myself I know how it is done." Then I atted her on other subjects ; says I, " Do you see the Atlantic, and Scribner's, and Peterson's, and Harper's this summer ? they are awful interestin'." Says she, " I haint seen the ocean sense I was marri^, and the other families you speak of don't live anywhere near us." Says I " Have you read Euskin, Ma< halaT" I was all engaged in it at that time, for Thomas J. was a readin' it out loud eveniu's — dretful interestin' readin', made you feel aa if you never got acquainted with the world till he introduced you." "Eed Ruskin," says she with a dreamy mean, " it seems as if we have cot some win- ter apples by that name, though I can't tell for certain.' Then truly I thought to myself I had got to the end of my cham. I said no more, but sot silently knittin*, and let her foller her own bent. And there was truly as enrious doln's as I ever see. The little childem couldn't move for fear they would sofl their clothes or muss their rufQes. Her husband couldn't take a step hardly without bein' f ollered round by a mop, and exhorted about lettin' in flies, though he didn't realize his sufferin's so much as he would, for he was to the bam A VISIT TO PHILANDER SPICERS'ES FOLKS. 61 with a mop. ir lee in my itythiug only all seemed ered up, jest loarin' about c some about I to keep 'em le asked me 8 or tow. , and says I, lookin' ohil- three ia six, I twelre, and at the least decent and d the biggest )ksas if ha )d prorider." well, but he Two years r at one time them as I }ut, a chasin' that I made out here." ems?" et one to suit lelf I know bjects ; says id Scribner's, ;his summer ? ocean sense I families you lar U3." Iluskin, Ma* ;hat time, for loud eveniu'a ade you feel ith the world li a dreamy ;ot some win- I I can't tell If I had got no more, but er foller her isdoln'sas I >nldn't move thes or muss Idn't take a d ronnd by a )in' in flies, Bufferin's so bo the barn the most of the timn ; he had a chair out there, Josiah said, and kinder made it his home in the manger. When she got supper, we had enough, and that that was ^ood ; but we eat on a oil* cloth because it was easier to keep clean than a table cloth, aad we eat on some awful poor lookin' dishes, she said she had washed up her best ones, and put 'era away so's to keep the dust out of 'em, and she didn't want to open the cupboard, for fear of lettin' in a fly. And when we went up stairs to our room that night, way up in the front bed-room, it was carpeted ail the way, the hall and stairs, and our room, with ahinin' oil cloth. You could see your faces in it, but it seemed awful sort o' slippery and uncomfortable. There wasn't a picture nor a bracket nor a statute on any of the walla ; she said her husband wanted some, but she wouldn't have 'em they catched dust so. The sheets and piller cases was starched stiff to keep clean longer, and ironed and pressed till they shoue like glass. My companion almost slipped up on l^e oil oloth when he went to git into bed, and, and as he lay down be- tween the stiff shinin' sheets, he says to me in sad tones : " This is a slippery time, Samantha." I was a takin' off my head-dres8,and didn't reply to him, and he says to me in still more pitiful and lonesome tones : — " Samantha, this a slippery time." His tone was very sfi^ctin', very ; and I says to him sooth inly, as I UBdid my breast* pin, and took off my collar : "Less make the best of what ire can't help, Josiah." But though my tone was soothin', it didn't seem to soothe him worth a cent, for says he in tremblin' tones : " I am a sufferer Santtntha, a great suffer- er." Truly as Josiah said, it tocu a slippery time, and then not bein' used to be follered round and wiped up by a mop, it all wora on him. Says he, speakin' ont in a loader, sort o' fiercer tone : "Have we got to stay in this hooie Samantha, one minute longer than to-morrow momin' at sunrise ?" Says I, " We will set sail from here some time in the course of the day." For truly I thought myself I couldn't stand the doin's much longer; and then Josiah went on and told me what Philander had told him ; he said Philander said he was completely wore out. He was a good lookin' sort of a man, and oile that would, I thought, under other and happier circumstances, love a joke; but his spirit was all broke down now. He told Josiah it was done by a mop, by bein' run after with a mop ; he said it would break down a leather man in a year; he said he drather set out doors all winter then go into the house; he said he made it his homa in the barn the most of the time — lived in the manger. He said when he first commenced lifo, he had a young man's glowin' hopes in the future; he had loftier, higher aims in life; but now hia highest ambition was to keep house by him* self in the barn, live alone there from year to year, go jest as nasty as he could, live on flies, and eat dirt ; he talked reckless and wild. "But," says he, "if I should try it, sha would be out there a scourin' the rafters j before I had been there half an hour, sba would be out there with her mop. I hope," says he "that I am a Christian ; but," say* he, "1 dassant express the feelin' I hava towards mons. Ministers of the Gospel would call it a wicked feelin', and so I shani never try to tell how I feel towards 'em ;. mops is what I bury deep in my breast." Josiah said he spoke to him about how anxious and haggard his wile looked, and how wild and keen her eyes was. "Yes," says she, "she got ihist look » chasin' flies ; she wont let one come within half a mile of the house if she can help it % and," says he, "she would be glad to keep me a horseback a helpin' her chase 'em off ;. hut I wont," says he, with a gloomy look, "I never will take a horse to it ; I'll run 'em. down myself when she sets me at it, but I wont chase 'em a horsebaok as long as mj name is Philander Spicer." The doin's there wore on Josiah dretfully, I could see. Two o. three times after ha gol- into a nap, he started up shoutin': ** There's ona I catch it I taka holi of 'em Nance." Oh, how I pitied my pardner,for I knew ha was on the back of a Nite-Mara (as it were^ a chasin' flies ; and then he'd kinder shy off one side of the bed, and I'd hunch him, and he'd sa^ there was a huH regiment of wimmen after hmi with mops. But towards momin' I got a littla good sleep, and so did he. The next momin' Mahala kinder atted n» about my house ; said she s'posed it wam'i half as nice, nor famished near so well aa hern. Her mean was proud, and I could see she felt hauty with her nice things^ though I couldn't see half on 'em when she led me through the rooms they was so shetup and dark, dark aa a dark pocket, a most ; and the air was musty and tight, tight as » drum ; she said she didn't air it only in tha night for fear of flies. Says she again, " I s'pose your house haini furnished near so nice as mine." Says I, " I have got two elegant things I } I 62 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIPB. .,' ■"'*.- h'^ % H i|Bi ^iraKK IS in my houM that you haint got in yourn, Mahala." " What are they ? " says she. Says I, "Sunshine and air ;" says I, *'onr house haint a bi£| one, but it is comfortable and olean, and big enough to hold Josiah and me, and comfort, and the children. " Says I, "My parlour looks well, everybody says it does. The carpet has got a green sronnd work that looks Jest like moss, with clusters of leares all scattered over it, crimson and ?;old coloured and russet brown, that look or all the world as if they might have fell ofifen the maple trees out in the yard in the fall of the year. I have t^ot a good houourable set of chairs ; two or three rookin' chairs, and a settee covered with handsome copper -plate; lots of nice pictures and books, for Tliomas J. iciU have 'em, and I am perfectly willin' and agreeable in that respect. " Says I, "Every* body says it is aa pleasant aud coiy a room as they ever laid eyes on ; and that room, Mahala, is open every rlay to my companion Josiah, fresh aii^, sunshine, myself, and the children;" says I, " when we have got our work done up, and want to rest, there is the the place we go to rest in; it makes anybody feel as chirk aeain as a poor dulMookin' room, and what under the sun do I want of a pleas- ant, bright lookin' room if it hain't tu take some comfort with it f Says she, with a horrified look, " The idee of lettin' the sunshine in on a nice carpet; it fades 'em, it fades green awfully." Says I, "My carpet haint fadin' colours, and if it was, there is more where that come from. But," says I, " there is other things that fade beside carpets;" s«ys I, "there is such a thing as fadin' all the gre«UMM and brightness of life out; says I, " I had mther havemy oarpelt fade, than to have my ohil« dMm'inresh gayeW, and my companion** happiness ana comfort fade out as grey m m rat;'' says I, '* the only way to git any com- fort and happiness out of this old world, is totake.it as you travd on, day by day, and hour by hour. Say* I, "In my opinion it ia awful simple to stent yourselves, andsoriipp yourselves iJong all your lives lookin' for some future time, fur dbead, when yon are goin' to enjoy things and live agreeable;" says I, " if such folks don't look out, the street of By and By they are travellin' on, will narrow down to that road tiiat is only broad enough for one to travel on it at a time, and the house they are expectin' to take so much comfort in, wUl have a marble door to it, and be covered over wHh the grasses of the valley." My tone was as solemn as solemn could be a moat, but, good land I she didn't sense it a mito} it seemed as if she foUered us round with a mop closer than ever, and the minute she got her work done, op she went right to her ruffles again; she didh't take time to change her dress, or comb her hair, or acy- thing. Her dress was clean enough, but it was laded and considerable ragged, and not a sign of a collar or cuff; and her hair which was wavy and crinkly naturally, and would have been glad to curl, was tucked up tight in a little wad at the back side of her head, to save work a combin' it. I didn't see much of Philander, for he stayed to the barn the most of the time, though he seemed to have a desire to use us well, and every little while he would come in and visit a few words with us; but he aoted awful uneasy, and low spirited, and meaohin', and I was most glad every time when he'd git started for the bam, and she'd set her mop down, for she'd soold him about flies, and exhort him about dust, and foller him round with a mop most every moment. She had in the neighbourhood of a bushel of ruffles a layiu' by ner, and she said she must stitch 'em and pucker 'em all that day, and her face looked so care-worn and haggard as she said it, that I almost pitied her ; and I says to her in tones about half pity, aud half re- buke: "What makes yon lay so to ruffles Mahala, it is a wearin' on you, and I can see it. " "Oh," says she, and sha nipped-to, harder than ever as she laid it :" 1 do it because other folks do. They wear ruffles a sight now." But I says in calm tones: "Have you got to be a fool Mahala, because tJiey bef ' She didn't answer me a word, only kep' rjxt on her ruffles as if they was cases of m and death, and I continued on in reason- able azents. **I am considerable dressy myself, and in the name of principle I believe it is every woman's duty to look as well and agreeable as she can, especially if she has got a com. panion to show off before." As I said this, sho gives as scornful and hnmiliatin' a look onto my overskirt as I ever see looked. It was my new grey dress, all trimmed off on tho age of the overskirt with a plain piece cut Icetrin' ways of the ' doth, and stitched on. It looked well, but I see she despised it, becanae it wasn't ruffled ; she showed it plain in her face, how fearfully she felt above the biasin' piece and me; she despised us both, and aotai so hauty towards us, that I was datermined to give her a piece of my mind, and say« I again firmly: " I believe it is every woman's duby espe- oially if she has got a pardner, to put her best foot forred and look pl«asant and agree* A VISIT TO PfilLANDEH SPICERS'ES FOLKS. the minat* rent right to ke time to lair, or acy- »usb, but it ;ea, and not hair which and would led up tight her head, to 't see much bam the led to havo little while words with , and low I most glad ed for the n, for she'd him about with a bad in the Hes a layin' ; stitch 'em nd her face I as she said d I says to ^nd half re- to raffles and I can d-to, harder ) it because Bes a sight 'Have you they bet" , only kep' nras cases of u in reason- '■elf, and in it is every id agreeable !ot a com- oomful and irskirt as I grey dress, e orerskirt ways of the ' d well, but it wasn't Br face, how i' piece and I aot^ so bernuned to ind My.« I doby espe- to pot her Md agree« able from daf to day, and from hc»ar to isottr. But in mj miud a woman don't add to her good loou by sebtin' down lookin' like a fury for nineteen days, a workin' too hard to speak a pleasant word to her family, or give 'em a pleasant look, for the sake of dauutin' out on the twentieth for a few hours, to show off before a lot of folks she don't care a eent for, nor thev for her." Says I, " A middlin' ]dain dress for instance, one made with a plain strip set on the bias round the overskirt, or sunthiu' of that .^ort," says I, " such a drees with a bright iiealthy, happy face, looks better to me tliau the height of fashion wore with a face Liiut is almost completely worn out with Ihe work a makin' of it, drawn down by care, «iud crossness, and hard work into more packers than there is on the raffles ;" says I, "if a woman is able and willin' to hire tier clothes made, that's a different thing ; ill them oases let wimmen raffle themselves Q^ to their heart's content, and the more work the better for the sewin' wimmen. " I don't think Mabalasensed my talk much of any, for she was nippin'-to, sewin' on her ruffles, and I heerd her say seemingly to aerself : " Lemme see ; nine yards for the bottom ruffle, and a little over. Three times nine is twent^-msven, and that leaves fourteen yards of tnmmin' for the poleynay, and up and down the back will be seventeen more — lemme see I " And she was a meas- urin' it off witk ker hands. Finally she aeemed to itense where she was for a minute, aad turned to me with a still more haggard look onto her face. Says she : " Mebby you have heard about it ; ia it so, or not? I must know," says she. Says I, in anxious axMits, for she looked fearfully bad : "Is it your children's future you are a worryin' about ? Is your compan- ion's morals a totterin'? Is the Human Bace on your mind,, a tirin' yoa, Mahala T " " No 1" says she. *'It haint none of them triffln' things, but I heerd a rumour that they wasn't goin' to wear poleynays trimmed up the baok. Do you know? Can yon t«ll me what they are goin' to do ? " Ohl whai a wild gloomy glarin' look set- tled down onto her face as we asked me this question : " !rAey,"saya I, a bustin' right out almost wildly, "who i» old They^hsX isleadin'm/ •eot into chains and slaverv ? " Says I, al- most by the side of myself with emotion, "Bring him up to me, and lemme wrastle with him, and destroy him." Says I, " I faMur of that old tyvant on all side& If he Sivea the word, wimmen will drop their resses right down a yard into the mud, or tack 'em up to their kneea ; they will put 'eai est lile baleone,' or pin 'em kaek, » bandegin' themselves like mummies ] ther will wear their bunnets on the back of their necks leavin' their faces all out in the sun, or thev will wear 'em ever their forwards, makin^ 'em as blind as a bat — leavin' the backside of their heads all out to the wea- ther ; thev will wear low slips as thin as paper, or be mounted up on high heels like an ostridge; they will frizzle their hair all up on top ortheir heads like a rooster's comb, or let it strinc down their backs like a man- iac's ; and ifl ask 'em wildly why these things are so ; they say they do it oecause They do it. I find old They at the bottom of it. "And iriiere does all the slander, the gos- sip, and lies come from T You find a lie that there wont anybody father, and jest as sure as you live and breathe, every time, you can track it baok to old They. They said it was so. And," says I, growin' al- most wild again, "who ever see him come up in a manly way and own up to anything ? Who ever sot eyes on him f A hidm' him- self, and a lyin' is his strong pint. I halt old They I I perfectly despite the old crit- ter." I see mv emotions was renderin' me nearly wild for the time bein', and with a fearful effort, I collected myself together, some, and oontinaed on in a more milder tone, but aw- ful earnest, and convincing : "Fashion is king and They is his prime min- ister and faotorum ; and between 'em both, wimmen is bound hand and foot, body and soul. And," says I in a sort of a prophe- cyin' tone, "would that some female Patrick Henry or George Washington would rise up and set 'em free from them tyrants." Sayi I, "It would be a greator victory for female wimmen, than the one the male sect, mostiy, are a celebratin' to the Sentinal this sum- mer." "Sentinal!*' says the. "Oelebrntoi** she mumured in enquirin' axents. " Yes," says I, "haint you heerd on it Mahala— the big Sentinal that is to FUadel- fy ; " says I, in considerable dry axents, "I didn't Imow as there was a dog on the Amer- ican continent but what had heerd of it and tidked it over— with other dogs." Says X, "They talked about it to Jones ville more*ii they did the weather, or their neighbonn^ or anything." " WeU,'Vy8 shib "it seems a* if I heerd the word once, when I wai< a sorapin' out the suUer, or was it when I waa a white- washin' the wood-houie. I oan'i tell," savf she; "but anyway I knew I wm a oleanin' sunthin' or other or makin* ruffles,and a work- in' so hard that it slipped oompletely eat mf mind." ^ I told her what the Seotio\al was, and saje I, "I w4nt yon to go Mahala. Jo«uih|and 1 1 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. / ^ '^ are % coin', and it will do you good to git awav from home % ipell ; you can git some good girl to keep houie for yon. S'poien you go ! " She looked at me aa if ihe thought I wa# aa orazy as a loon. " Qo I " says she. "Qo I why it will be rigltt in fly time and apider time. Do you s'pone that anybody that haint a perfeot slouch of a housekeeper would ieare their house in fly time or spider web time ?• Thank fortin nobody can find a spider web in my house nor in my wood-house. I haint the one to let things go as tome will, and go off on pleasure towers right in dog days." I see she was a twittin' me of lettin* thinn go, and bein' off on a tower, and my hign mission goared me, and principle nerved ma ip to give her a piece of my mind ; and says I to her : "There is cobwebs a hangin' fromyonr brain this minute Mahala Spicer, more'n a yardlou^." Says I, "You have chased me ri round with a up, so I feel mop, and kinder limbered me m M like marchin' forred nobly in thecanse of Right ; — and I say to yon, and I say it in a friendly way — that if there was ever any brightness to your intellect, there is dust over it now a inch thick. You twit me about lettin' things go, and bein' off on a tower ; you say you wont let things go ; in my way of thinkin' you do let things go ; you let all the beautv and brightness of life go ; all the peace and enjoyment and repose of home go ; all your husband's and chil- dren's rest, and enjoyment, and love, and respect for you, go. Yon say vou don't even git time to look into a book from one year's end to another. Think of that great world of delight and culture you leggo. You say you don't find time to step or £)ok out of doors. Jest think of God's groat picture- book that He spreads out before your blind eyes from day to day — every page filled with wonder, surprise and admiration. Think of how that book looks when the book is turned do .m to sunset, or when it is tamed over to bright Indian summer and eteetery." My tone was eloquent, very ; and niy hand waved out in noble waves as I went on : " Jest think how from ^7 to day the sun rises in splendour and goes down in heavenly glory } how the white olonds, like featherud out ohiriots for the baby angels to ride ontin, float over the beautiful sky unbeknown to von ; how the winds kinder rustle the green leavea In the woods, and the sun shoots down her gold arrers through 'em, a chasin' the oool sbadders orer the ^nr^en muss, and never •atchin' of 'em. How the white lilys fatigue their sweet selves a perfumin' the air, and the roses and pinks blush crimson at their own prettiness, and the violets hide their blaa e««4 down under the jgrais* ao ^awfnl pretty that they are fairly ashamed of them- selves, and the ferns wave their green ban> ners in triumphant delight to let 'em know they have found 'em oul How the lake changes to more'n forty pictures a day, every one handsomer than the other, from the time it looks kinder blue, and haiy, and dreamy in the morniu' twilight, till the settin' sun makes a shinin' path on it that seems to lead right out into that city of gulden streets. Think what low and kinder contented songs the brook sings i venward and seein' with the eyes of your soul some dinne ideal and pursuin' after it, you have sit your aim in life on a fly, and chase that aim blindly, and prefer to go through life on all fours with a scrub rag.'' If you'll believe it, that woman was mad ; it does beat all how good advice will make acme folks squirm : Vtnt an - e was on the very pint of leavi' and I di^nt fee^ in t' to her, for t^ they was weeks righ .ong, . didn't get i .tted vn^c Josiah and me. I dr >e well by 'em— killed a ben most every < y— and made afusn. That was before she took to chasin' fliet^ riie was bright as a new dollar, didn't a like the same pritter, nor henuthor ; tV was before he had the nip took out of ) , by bein' chased round by a mop. I kissed the little children aU aettin' si I ilk a row— or little oil wimmen I ort to s» , 1 . as a a cent ; beholden .se when yed three ^uess they she treated MELANKTON SPICER AND HIS FAMILY. n [bid Maliala a glad and hap[)y ^ood )>ye, uud then we went uut to the barn took leave of Philander ia the manner, fnd aut furred •gain on oar tower. MELANKTON HPK'En AND Ilin FAMILY. PhiUndtr Spicer told Josiah and me that i he did wi«h we would stop and visit his l)ro- ther Lank, seein' we }iad to pass right by his house. Melankton Spicer, Philander's twin brother, married Mahala's sister Delila Ann, makin' 'em double and twisted rela- tions, as you may say. And we told him that seein' it was right in our way we would ■top a few minutes, but I guessed we wouldn't stay long for we wasn't much ac- quainted with 'em, though she had visited me yean ago, and we had seen 'em to l a- ther Allen's one* or twice. Philander told us mebby we hadn't better stay long, for they had hard work to git along ; he said Delila Ann wasn't a mite such a turn as Mahala, for whereas Mahala, harin' a husband that was well off, would work and scrub erer^ minute with no need en it, Delila Ann, havin' married a poor n?au who needed help, wouldn't work a mite ; hadn't been no help to him at all sense they was married, only by puttin' on appearances, and havin' seven girls and they bein' growed up, and their ma not allowin' 'em to do a speck of work only to dress up to catch a bo. Lank had to work from mornin' till night in the store where he was a clerk, and then set up half the night to copy papers for a lawyer, to try to pay their milliner bills and the hired |;irl8 ; but he couldn't, ~ he was in debt to eyerybody. And he didn't git no rest and peace to home, for thev was a teasin' him the hull time for gold brace- lets and silk dresses and things ; he said they lived poor, aud their morals was idl nu down. Lank hadn't erer been able to git enough ahead to buy a Bible ; he hadn't nothin' but the Pokrafy, and a part ,of the Old Testa- ment, that had fell to him from his grand- father, fell so fur that the 'postles aud all the old prophets — except Mwachi— had got tere to pieces, and he was battered con^id- *able. Philander said Lank told him it as bard work to bring up a family right, iih nothin' but the fqH^raty to go by, and e wanted to git a Bible the worst way ; nd when he ^ot his last month's wages, he td mean to git enough ahead to buy one, nd a sack of fl^Mt ; but when he got his l»ay, his wife said she was sufferin' for a new fauze head-dress, and the seven girls had got to have some bobiuet neck-ties, and some new ear-ri»gs ; that after they had get these ^eoessaryi. then, if there was anything left, they Would get a sack of flour and a Bible^ hat there wasti't, and so they had to git along with the Pokrnfy, and without the sack of Hour ; niid he xaid that workin' so hard, and farin' so nwful bad. Lank was a most ust^d up ; he said Lank wasn't morc'n two or three moments older than he was, but he looked as if he was seventy-five years old, and he was afraid he wouldn't stand it more than several months longer if things went on so. I said to mysolf, when Philander was tell- in' us this, here is mebby another uhance for me to burn myself up and brile myself on a gridiron (as it were) in the cause of Right. I felt a feelin' that mebby I could win a vic- tory, and advise Delila Ann for her good. And so I spoke up mildly, but with a firik noble mean on me, and says to him ; "Phi- lander, we will stop there an hour or two." When we got to the village where Lank lived, Josiab said he guessed he would go right down to the store where Lank worked and see him, and I might go in and call on Dtilila Ann. A small white-headed boy with two breeches held up by one lonely gallus told me he would show me the way — the same boy offerin' to hitch the martk It had been a number of yean sense I had seen Delila Ann, and I didn't s'^se I should know her if I should meet her in mv por- ridge dish. Philander said she had changed so. He said she had that sort of anxious, haggard, dissatisfied, kinder sheepiijih, and kinder bold look — a mean that folka always git by puttin' on appear- ances ; I've heerd, and 1 believe, that is jest about as wearin' a job as any- body can git into to foller from year to year. There didn't seem to be anything hull and sound about the front door, except the key- hole; but it had a new brass plate on it, with a bell kinder fixed in it, and the plate bore Lank's name in bold noble letten which I s'pose was a comfort to the family, and rose 'em up above the small afflictions of the snow and rain that entered at will, and when ihey was a mind to. The white headed hoy, with the solitary and lonesome gallus, said to me as he stood waitin' for the five cent bill I was a gettin* for him out of my port-money : "That door needs mendin' bad I" I give him his bill and started him off, aoA I was jest a muain' on his last words, and thinkin' that Lank's best way would be to- take the key-hole and have a new door made to it, when the hired girl come to the door. I told her who I was and she seem to b» kinder prostrated and said she'd so and ' tell the family. And I, a standin* there in the hall, and not knowin' how long she wonU W 66 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. ■1h' h gone, thought I would set down— for it al- ways tires Bie to stand any length of time on my feet. There was a elegant imposin' lookin' chair by the side of a real noble look- in' table, but to my surprise and mortiHca- tion when I went to set down, I lot right down through it, the first thing ; I catched almost wildly at Ihe massive table to try to save myself, and I'll be hanged if that didn't give way and spilte on my hands, as you may say ;it tottled and fell right over onto me; and then I see it was made of rough shackly boards, but upholstered with a gorgeous red audyeller cotton spread, like the chair; they both looked splendid. I gathered myself up, and righted the table murmurin' to myself, " Put not your trust in princes, nor turkey red calico, Joaiah Allen's wife ; set not down upon them blindly, lest yon be wearied and faint in your mind, and lame in your body. " ^ I was jest a rehearsin' this to myself, when the hired girl come back, and says I : " I am glad you have come, for 1 don't know but I should have brought the hall house down in ruins onto me, if you hadn't come jest as you did." And then she np and told me that that chair and table wasn't made for use, but jest for looks ; she said they wanted a table and a reception chair in the hall, and not bein' able to buy sound ones, they had made 'em out of boards they had by 'em. " " Well," says I mildly, " I wenc right down through the chair the first thin^, and it skairt me. " I got along throufi:h the hall first-rate after this, only I most iEell twice, for the floor bein' carpeted with wall paper varnished (to be oil-cloth apparieutly) and tore up, and the varnish makin' it stiff, it was as bad as a man-trap to catch folks in, and throw *em. Just before we got to the parlour door I see, that in the agitation 'of body and mind I had experienced sense I come in, I had dropped one of my cuff buttons, nice black ones that I had bought jest before I started at a out-lay of 35 cents, and the hired girl said she would go back for it ; and while she was a lookin' for it — the plasterin' bein' off considerable, and the partition jest papered over — I heard 'em a sayin' and they seemed to be a oryin' as they laid it : " What did she want to come here for ? I should think she would know enough to ■tay away." " To think we have got to be tormented hy seein' her," n&ys another Toice. • "I hate to have her come ai bad as yon do children," says a voice I knew was Delila Ann's i " but we must try to bear up nnier it : she wont stay probable more'n two or j three hours." "T thay, ^I hope she wont ithay two I minith," says another voice with a lisp to it. " We wont let her stay," says a little fine | voice. I declare for't, if it hadn't been for my vow I would have turned right round in my tracks ; but I remembered it wasn't the pious folks that needed the most preachin', and if ever promiscous advisin' seemed to be called for, it was now. And jest as I was a rememberin' this, the hired girl come back with my cuff button. The minute ihe opened that parlour door, I see that I had got into the house of mourn- in'. The room, which resembled the hall and the front door as much as if they was three twins, seemed to be filled with braiz9 delpine, and bobinet lace, and thin ribbin, all bathed in tears and sobs. When I took a closer look, I see there was eight wimmen under the gauzes and frizzles and folderola and etcetery ; some of 'em held dime novels in their hands, and one of 'em held a' white pup. The moment I went in, every one of 'em jumped up and kissed me, and throwed their arms round me. Some of the time I had as many as six or seven arms at a time round me in different places, and every one of 'em was a tellin' me in awful warm tones, how glad, how highly tickled they was to see me ; they never was so carried away with enjoyment and happy surprise in their hull lives before ; and says four of 'em tenderly : "You must stay a week with us anyway." . "A week?" says the little fine voice, "that hain't nuthin', you must stay a month, we won't let you off a day sooner." "No, we won't !" says six warm voioM^ awful warm. 'Sthay all thummer — do," says the lispin' voice. ''Yes do 1" says the hull seven. And then Delila Ann threw both her arms round my neck, and says she: "Oh if you could only stay with us always, how happjr, happy we should be." And then she laid her head ; right down on my shoulder and begun to sob, and weep, and cry; I was almost sickened to the stomaoh by their actin' and behavin', but the voice of sorrow always appeals to my heart. I lee fai a minute what the matter was; Lank had give out, had killed himself with hard work; and though I knew she was jest as much to blame as if she was made of arsenic and Lauk had swallowed her, still pity and sym- pathy makei the handsomest, ihineyest kind of varnish to cover up folkes'ei faults with, and Delila Ann shone with it from head to foot, •■ ihelay there on my neck, wettin' mj MELANKTON SPICER AND HIS FAMILY. «7 I more'n two or says the liipin' |>e8t collar with her tears, and almost tearin the lace offen it with her deep windy sithei. I pitied Delila Ann. from pretty near the bottom of my heart; I forgot for the time bein' her actin' mad. behavin'; I felt bad, and eaytl: "Then he is gone Delila Ann, I feel to sym- pathize wl.h you; I am sorry for you as I can "Yes," says she, pretty near choked up with emotion, "he is gone; we have lost him," I wept; I thought of my Josiah, and I aays in tremblin' tones: "When love is lost out of a heart that has held it, oh, what a goneness there must be in that heart; what a emptyness; what a lonesomeness, but," says I, tryin' to comfort her, "He who made our liearts knows all about 'em; His love can fill aU the deep lonesome places in 'em; and hearts that He dwells in wont never break; He keeps 'em, and they are safe with an •ternal safety." All the hull of the girls was a sobbin', and one of 'em sithed oat: "Oh, it does seem as our hearts must break, right in to. " Then I spoke up and say in trembliu' [tones: "If you are willin Delila Ann, it i would be a melancholly satisfaction to me I to see the corpse. " The girls led the way a sobbin' and sithin', I and I follered on kinder holdin' up Delila Ann, expectin' every minute she would faint 1 away on my hands. We was a mournful [lookin' procession; they led the way into the [next room, and led me up to a sofy, and I there laid out on a gorgeous yeller cotton [cushion, lay a dead pup. I was too dumb- [foundered to speak for nearly half a mo* iment. Oh I what feelin's I felt ai I stood there a llookin' on 'em, to think how I had been a [aympathizin' and a comfortin', a pumpin'the rery depths of my soul to pour religious con* }lation onto 'em, and bewailin' myself, a Bheddin' m^ tears over a whiffet pup. As I thought this over, my dumb-tounder begun ;o go off on me, and my luc-au begun to look linerent, and awf uller; I thmst my cotton iiandkerohief back into my pocket again with ly right hand, and drew my left arm hauti* |iy from Delila Ann, not carin' whether she smmpled down and fainted away or not; I I'pose my mean apauled 'em, for Delila Ann tys to me in tremblin tones: "All genteel wimmen dote on dogs.'* And ||he added in still more tremblin' tones, as she see my mean kep' a growin' awfuler, and iwfnler every minute: "Nothin* givea a roman such a genteel air as to lead 'cm )und with a ribbin." And she says still keepin' her eye on my mean: "I always ^now a woman is genteel the minute I see her a leadin' 'em round, and I have nsver been mistakin' once; the more genteel a woman is, the more poodle dogs she has to ' dote on." I didn't say a word to Delila Ann nor the hull set on 'em, bu^ my emotions riz up so '. that I spoke right out loud, unbeknown to me; I episoded to myself in a deep voice: " Fathers bein' killed with labour, and a world layin' in wickednesi, and wimmen dotin' on dogs ; hundreds of thousands of houseless and homeless chil* dren — little fair souls being blackened bj ignorance and vice with a black that can't^ never be rubbed off this side of heaven, and immortal wimmen spendin' their hull ener- gies in keepin' a pup's hair white ; little ten* der feet bein' led down into the mire and clay, that might be guided up to heaven's door, and wimmen utterly refusin' to notics 'em, so rampart and sot on leadin' round a pup by a string. Good heavens !" says I, " It makes me sweat to think on it;" and I pulled out my cotton handkerchief and ; wiped my forred akpost wildly. I s'pose ' my warm emotions had melted down my icy \ mean a very little, for Delila Ann spoke up | in a little ohirker voice, and says she :'— " if you were one of the genteel kind, you would feel different about it;" says she — a tryin' to scare me — "I mistrust that yon haiut genteel. " " That don't scare me a mite," says I, " I hate that word and always did," says I, still more warmly, " there is two words m the English language that I feel cold, and al* most hauty towards, and they are ' affinity,' such as married folks huntafter,and 'genteel.' I wish,"saysl, "that these two words wonld join hands and elope the country; I'd love to see their backs, as they sot out, snd bid 'em a glad farewell," She see she hadn't skairt me, and the thought of my mission geared me to that extent, that I rose up my voice to a high key, and went on wavin' my right hand in as eloquent a wave as I had by me — I keep awful eloauent wavet a purpoM to use on occasions like these — and says I : — "lam a woman that has got avowom me; I am a Promiscuous Advisor by trade^ and I can't shirk out when duty is a pokin' me in the side; I must speak. And I say onto you, Delila Ann, and the hull on you promiscuous, that if you would take off some of your bobinet lace, empty your laps of pups and dime novels, and go to work and lift some of the burdens from the breakin' back of Melaukton Spioer, yon would raise yourselves in my eetteation from 25 to 30 cents, and I don't know bmt more. " Oh," says Delila Ann, " I want my '^tk tc marry ; and it haint genteel for wimaMO '■"St 68 SIAH ALLEN'S WIFE, ■■"n m^ ^^m tones, D('ila in angry "whiffet poodle better, it don't w^ to work; they wont never catch a bo if they work *' ••Well," lays I almoit coldly, I had ruther keep a clear conscience and a single bedstead, than twenty husbands and the knowledge that I was a father killer ; but," says I in reasonable tones — for I wanted to conrince 'em — " it haint nepessary to be lazy, to read dime novels, and lead round pups in order to marry ; if it was, I should be a single woman to-day." "OhIIoreto read dime novelth," says the lispin' one ; " I love to be thad and weep, it theemth tho thweet, the thingular- lythweet." Says I, "There is a tra(i;edy bein' lived be- fore yomr eyes day after day that yon ort to weep over; a father killin' himself for his wife and children — bearin' burdens enough to break down a leather man — and they a spendin' their time a leadin' lound whififet pupe." •• Whiffet pups I" says >nes, they are poodles. " Wefl,*^ says I calmly, pups, if that suits yon any make any particular difference to me.*' Says Delila Antr, "I paid seven dollars « piece for 'em, and they have paid their way in comfortin' the girls when they feel bad ; of oour se my girls have their dark hours and cit low-spirited when they teaze their pa for things that he wont buy for 'em ; when they want a gold butterfly to wear in their hair, are sufferin' for it or for other necessaries, and their pa wont git 'em for 'em; in such dark hours the companionship of these dear dogs are such a comfort to 'em. " "Why don't they go to work and earn their own butterflies if they have got to have 'emfikyvL "Because they wont never marry if they demean themselves and work. " Says I, " It hai&t no such thing I A flian whose loVe is worth bavin' would think the more of 'em ;" and I went on eloquently — "doyous'pose Delila, that the love of a tirue man — love that crowns a woman more royally than a (ineen, a love that satisfies bttr head and her heart and that the can tnnt herself to through life and death; a love that inspires her to think all goodness and purity arc possible to her for its sake — that makes her, through very happiness, more .humble and tender and yet fearless, lif tin' her above all low aims and worryments ; do you s'pose this love that makes a woman as rich as a Jew if she owns nothin' on earth beside, •an be inspired and awakened by a contem- Ration of sham gentility and whiffet pups T Can bobinet lace spangled with gilt butter- (UM wer a net to catch this priceless | Iniulure ? ,, Nertr ! Delila Ann Spicer, I MTtrl that if, a love that is worth bavin'; | some men's love haint worth nothin'; I wouldn't give a cent a bushel for it by the car-load. But, as I said, Delila Ann and the hull eight on you promiscons, a earnest, true, noble man would think as much again of a girl who had independence and common sense enough to earn her own livin* when her father was a poor man. Good land ! how simple it is to try to deceive folks; gaujse veils, and cotton- velvet cloaks hainta goin' tocoverup the fact ot noverty ; if we be poor there's not a mite of disgrace in it. Poverty is the dark mine where diamonds are found lots of times by their glitterin' so ag'inst the blackness. The darkness of povertjr can't put out the light of a pure diamond ; it will shine anywhere, as bright in the dark dirt as on a Queen's finger, for its light comes from within ; and rare pearls are formed frequent by the grindin' touch of poverty, tears of pain and I privation and patience crystaliied into great j drops of light that will shine forever. Hon* j eat hard workin' poverty is respectable { as anything can be respectable and should be honoured, if for no other reason, for the sake of film who eighteen hundred years ago made it illustrious forever. But poverty hidin' itself behind the appariently; poverty hidin' itself under a sham gentility; pretentious, deceitful poverty — tryin' to cover an empty stomach with a tinsel breast- pin — is a sight, and enough to make angels weep, and sinners sick. Let your girls learn some honest industriotis trade Delila Ann, let 'em be self-respectin' " " Oh my i I wouldn't have 'em miSs bein* married for nothin' in the world." "Gk)od land !" says 1. "Is marryin' th« only theme that anybody can lay holt of ? It seems to me that the best iray would be to lay holt of duty now, and then if a bo comes lay holt of him. But if they catch a bo \dtfa such a hook as they are a fishin' with now,|what kind of a bo will it be 7 Nobody but a fool would lay holt of a hook baited with dime novels, lazyness, deceitfulness, and pups. Learn your girls to be industrious and to respect themselves. They can't now, Delila Ann, I know they oan't. No woman can feel honourable and reverential towards theihselves, when they are a foldin' their useless hands over their empty souls, waitin' for some man — no matter who — to marry 'em and support 'em. When in the agony of suspense and fear they have narrowed down to this one theme all their hopes and prayers: "Good T^ord, anybody r' But when a woman lays holt of life in a nobis earnest way, when she is dutiful, cheerful, and industrious, God-fearin' and self-respee- tin', thongh the world sinks, there is a rook '**> UNCLE ZEBULIX COFFIN. 'em tbiAB beta' rid." under her feet that wont let her down fur «nough to hurt her any. " Oh dear ! " saye Delila Ann again, " I •hould think she would wj^nt to get married — want to awfully." Truly every hody hat their theme, and marryin' ii hem. But I kep' cool and says I in calm axents> but sort o' noble and considerable eloquent : "If love comes to board with her, a* muoh the better ; she will be ready to receive him royally, and keep him when she gets him — some folks don t know now to use love worth a cent, can't keep him any length of time. Sudh a , woman wont get crazy as a loon, and wild- eyed, and accept the wrong man -so dead with fear that the right one wont be forth eomin'. She wont barter her truth and self respect for a home and housen stuff, and the sham dignity of a false marriage. No mom no moms; thoush a regiment of men are at her feet askin^her in pleadin' axeuts if their bride she will be, her ears will be deaf as a stun to the hull caboodle of 'em, unless the true voice speaks to her; and she wont listen with the ear of flesh, she wont hear it unless her soul can listen. Mebby that voice, that true voice is aoundin' to her heart through the centuries; mebby, like aa not she waa born a ceutuiy too soon, or a hun- dred years to late — what of it ? That don't scare her a mite, she will keep right on a lirin' jest as calm and coll jted and happy and contented as anything, till the eternal meetin' of true souls crowns him and her with the greatness o' that love. No, Delila Ann Spicer, such a woman as that, no mat- ter whether she be single or double, I am not afraid of her future. "What 1 not get married I Oh dear me sni," screamed Delila Ann, for truly the thought seemed to scare her nearly to death. "Oh how awfvl, how lonely, lonely, they -must b«." "Who said they wasn't?" says I in pretty ■ud^lin' short tones — for she was a beginnin' to weftr as* out some— bat I oontinued on in more *nild axents: "I have seen married folks before now, that I kMw was in their louls as lonesome M dods and lonesomer," saya I, a disagree- abler feelin' I aerar felt, than to have com- May that haint company, stav right by you lor two or three days. And then what must it bo to have 'em stand by jrou from forty to fifty yean. Good land I it would tucker anybody o«t. A desert haint to be compar- ed to a orowd of strangers; woods can't be compared to human bem's for loneliness, lor Nater is a friendly onttor, and to them that love her, she has a hundred ways to chirk 'em up and comfort 'em. And solitude is OMroo, Mid. when the world's bubble dies away, you hush your soul, and hear the fco't'alls of the Eternal. Hear His voice speakin' to your heart in better thoughts, purer inspirations, nobler idees. No I foi pure loneliness give me the presence of an alien soul, whose thoughts can never be your thoughts, whose eyes can no more see what your eyes see than if the^- wore Icathei spectacles, whose presence weighs you down like four Nite Mairs knd a half. And if foi any reason, fear, thoughtlessness, or wantin' a home, yon are marriod to snoh a one, there is a loneliness for you Delila* Anm Spicer." But she kiep' right.on, with her fomer idees, for she felt^m deeply. "OhD%ar ! I don't see how folks gitA^onf that haint married. Nothin' in the world looks po poverty-struck, and lonesome as a woman that haint married." "Yes," said I reasonably, "they do have a sort of a one sided look I'll admit, and sort o' curious, at certain times, such as proces- sions, and etcetery; I always said so, and I say so still. "But," says 1, "in my opinion, there haint no lonesomeness to be compared to the lonesomeness of the empty-headed and aimleas, and no amount of husbauda can make up to any woman for the losa of her self-respect. Them is my idees, howsum- ever everybody to their own mind." Whether I did 'em any good or not I don't know, for my companion arrived jest at that moment, and we departed onto our tower; ■ but it is a sweet and comfortin' thought, that whether you hit the mark you aim at or . not, you have done your best and a good pile of arrers somewhere will bear witness that you have took good aim, and . fired nobly in the cause of Right. UNCLE ZEBVLIN COFFIN. Ever sense I had married to Jodah Allen I had heard of Uncle Zebulin Cofi&n, what a great man he was. Every time Josiah would git low spirited and kinder back slid ia his mind, he would groan out, "Oh, if I oould only be as good as Uncle Zebulin is I" And when he would be in this depressed state, if be and I would laugh out kinder hearty at suntli n' the ohildren said m* done, he would mutter: "Oh Samantha, what would Uncle Zebu- lin say if he should hear us laugh 1 I don't believe we shall ever get to bo so good as he is in this world," "What has he done to awful good!" I would say. "Why," says Josiah, "Unole Zebulin haint laughed in over forty years. You don't bar* no idee what a good man he is." "That don't raise him 7 cents in my esti- mation," ssys I. "What else haa he done so uncommon good ?" If 70 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFK ,•*»«« 'I I "Oh," saya Joiiah. "I don't know of any- thind; in particular. Bat you never see so good a man as he is. He's made a regular pattern of himself. He never smiles, and he "Aould sooner cut off anybody's head than joke with 'em ; and he is so quick to see if anybody else does wroni;. He'll make any- body feel so wicked, when, they are with him ; they'll see so plf in how much better he is than they be. He is so uncommon food, that I nerer oonld bear to stay there ; realized his goodness so much, and see my own wickedness so plain. A drttfol gooa man, Uncle Zebulin is, dretfuL" I knew when we sot out for the Sentinal that we should go within a few miles of him ; we had got to go right through Loon Town, where his letters was sent to. ( Josiah had helped him to money to pav up a mortgage, and they had wrote back and forth about it. ) I beset Josiah to stop and visit him, not that I ha4 nuch a awful high opinion of him, but I wanted to go more out of curiosity, a sort of a circus f eelin'; but Josiah hung back, and I says to him : "Anybody would think Josiah Allen, that after praisin' up a Uncle Zebulin day and night for goin' on twenty years, a man would DB willin' to let his lawful pardner git a glimpse on him ;" but Josiah hung back, and says he : " He is so tarnal good, Samantha, you haint no idee how powerful uncomfoi table and unsatisfactory he makes wickeder folks feel." Bat I ssys cheerfully : " If he is so dretful good ai you say, he wont be likely to hurt us, and I t^on't go for comfort, I go in a sort of menagery way ; and also," I addack. Says he: "I hat* to; I hate to go near him, he is such a food man;" sayslie, "he makes me fe<4 as ii I could crawl through a knot hole, as if I wanted to." But my advice to Tom was from day to day, "tackle the old Deacon." And finally Tom tackled him; and the old Deacon was madder than a hen. "A ]nou$ hen," says I coldly, for I was a beginnin' to not bear the old Deacon. "Yes," says ke, "bein' so darned good, he «aid Molly shouldn't marry any feller that lauffhed and played dominoes and danced — and Tom had danced once or twice to one of •or neighbours, and the old Deacon had heerd of it~-BO he turned Tom out of doors, and forbid Molly's speakin to him again; Molly, they say, took it bad, and it come powerful hard on Tom. He ii a soft hearted feller Tom is, and he fairly worshipped her; but his ma and I brought him up to meet trials bravely, and it is a oattern to anybody to see how brave, and eaim, and patient he is, with his trouble makin' him as poor as a •nail. Stiddy to work as a clock, cheerful, and growin' poor all the time; awful good to babys and children Tom is, sense it took FUce, and growin' pale, and poor as a rat. tell you it comes prettv tough on his ma and me to see it go on; but Tom won't be underhanded, and he'll have to grin and bear ]tt for the Deacon says he never changes his mind, and he is so tamal good I s'poM h« can't. "He talked powerful to me tho day ht rode with me; I don't know when I oror fell wickeder and meaner than I did then; I eat truly say that when the old Deacon got out of the bngffy, and for several houra aftet that, I could have been bought cheap — prob. able from 26 to 30 cents— he give it to m« for lettin' Toniplay games, anaplaybi' with him myself. He said I was doin' tiie deril'i work; a immortal soul left to my charge, and I a fillin' it up with dominoes and check- ers. " 'But, ' says I, 'Tom got to runnin' to thi tavern; he got into bad company; I did ii to stop him ; factomm Deacon, honout bright.^ "And then the Deacon give it to me foi swearin'; he was so good, he thought hononi brisht and factomm was swearin', and aayi he: '"S'posen Tom (f u{ git to mnnin' to ths tavern and other places of ruination; Aen was the time for you to do youi duty. Preach his wickedness te him; keep at it every time he come into the house day and night, down suller, and up stairs, to the table and the altar. I s'posed you was a prayin' man, and prayed in your family.' " 'I haint missed a night nor momin' sense! joined the meetin '-house,' says I. " 'Well, what a weapon that family altar might be, if you handled it right, to pierce Tom to the heart; to show him how gloomy his sins made you; to mako him see your goodness, and his sinfulness; to make a pat- tern of yourself before him;iand thenevenin's you ort to be stem and gloomy, and awful dignified, and spend 'em every one of 'em, in readin' religious tracts te him; wamin's to sinners, and the perils of the ungodly. I would lend you half a bush^ that I have used in bringin' up my own family; and if you took this course, what a nappyfyin' thought it would be, that, whatever course he tk, whether he went to ruin or not, you had done your duty, set him a pattern of righteousness, and his wickedness couldn't be laid to your oharee; and yon eonld have a clear conscience, and be happy, even if you looked down from the shinin shore, and see him a wreathin' in torment.' " 'But,' says I, 'what if my preaohin' his wickedness into him, and readin' tracts at him had the effect of makin' him hate re- ligion, and drivin' him away from home to the tavern and Mickedness? After Tom was ruined, my makin' a pattern of myself, and feelin' innocent, wouldn't bring Tom back. And,' says I, 'if I kep' Tom from goin' to ruin, by keepin' him to home, and playia' dominoes with him— and didn't feel ai. UNCLE ZEBULIN CX)PFIH. \^ IT preaohin' hii iin' tracts at innocent — lemme see — ^where be I — ' * ' " And I scratched my bead till •very hair itood np on end, I was ■o puzzled, and kinder worked up a thinkin' how I would go to work to be inno- cent in the matter, and whether I had loat Tom, my bein' a pattern would be much of a comfort to me or his ma ; but though I scratched my head powerful, I could not scratch a dear idea | and doubt; to think of Him as a far-off un\ approachable bein', in a remote inaccessibly heaven; lookin' down from a height of gloomj grandeur with a stem composure, a calm in^ difference, on the strugglin souls below, he i had created; indifferent to their sufferin'a their gropin's after light and truth, their temptations, their blind mistakes ; ready and anxious to condemn ; Ausry with their innocent happiness.' Says she, ' It would be as impoasible forme to worship the God of some Cnristians, as to worship m heathen God; and I have not taught our ooy to worship such a bein', but I have learned him from a child to look upon Him as his nearest and dearest friend, the truest, and the tenderest; the one always near him, ready to help him when all other help was vain; grieved with his wrong doin'; rejoicin' in his efforts to do right; helpin' him in his struggles with his small temptations; draw- in' his soul upward with his divine love and tenderness. We have tried to teach him by our lives — which is the loudest preachin' — that the best way to show our love to God, is by bein' helpful and compassionate to a sorrowful humanity. " Says 1, "The old Deacon don't look on religion in that light at all; he don't seem to want to do any good, but jest gives his whole mind tobein ' wretched himself, andcondemnin' other folks'es sins,andmakin' them wretched. He seems to think if he can only do that, and keep liimself from bein' amused in any way, he is traveliu' the straight road to heaven, that truly is hie strong pint." *' Well, she said ihe thought of the Sft> viour's last charge to his disciples after hil death and ctsurreotion, when his words might well contain all earthly experienotu and hea,venly wisdom. Three times he asksd that disciple, ' Jiove^t thou me ?' And eftek separate time he bade him prove that loTO^ not by bein' gloomy laced and morose, not by loud preachin' and condemnation of otiien, and long prayers and vows to Him, but in carin' for the Sock He had left. And when He pronouneed the doom of the condemned, it was not because they had been happy and cheerful; not because they bad neglected the creeds and forms of religion, but because ihey had seen Him in the form of a sufferin' humanity, naked, athirst, and faint, and had not ministeret5 74 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. >». !•«(•. c i» dignified with Tom now, for we don't care in particular about cftioiQ' the admiration of an awe-struck world, or awakenin' Tom's fears by makiu' patterns of ourselves ; ' and says she, ' I have always fonnd^ that people who set themselves up for patterns are very disagreeable as companions.' Says she, ' What we want is to save our boy, mak^s him good and happy, and I am not a bit afraid of makin' him too happy in an innoronc way ; says she, ' for goodness is the own child of hanpiness on its mother s side." " Who is the other parent T" says I, *' Says she with a reverent look : " Goodness is born of God, and happiness is its own mother, nursed and brought up by ber.' She talked powerful, Tom's ma did. But as I was a sayin', in the matter of Molly the Deacon stands firm, and Molly bein' the only child there, the old Deacon most probable hates to be left alone, though they do say that the Deacon is goin' to mar- ry a Miss Horn, who spent last winter here to her brother's, and — ' " But my Josiah interrupted him : " Mol- ly the only child ? Where's Zebulin Jr. " " Oh he run away in war time. He'd worked day and night to make a fiddle. His mind was all sot on music, and they said the fiddle sounded first-rate ; but when he got it done, the old Deacon burnt it up ; ha was so everlastin' good, that he thought fiddlin' was wicked. But Zeb Jr. not bein' Bo good, couldn't look at it ii that light so he left." " Where's Zachens?" " Oh Zack, he run away a few weeks after Zeb did. It was sunthin' about a Dhecker board that ailed Zack — I beliere the old Deacon split it up for kindlin' wood. Anyway it was someway where the Deacon ihowed up his goodness and Zaok's sinfal- asss." " Well, where are the twins, Noah uid J^ithan?" "Oh the twins got to mnnin' to the Arvem. They'd get ont of the winder J^ lights, after preten£n' to go to bed early ; || < >aid they conldn't stay to home. I s'pose 'f4 she Deacon was so good, that it made 'em j^ powerful uncomfortable, they bein' so diff- - '^ erent. It was jest about that time I bad such a tussle to keep Tom to home. They was both of 'em jest about Tom's age, they was next older than Molly, Well, as might be expected, they got into bad company to the tarvem, got to drinkio' and carousin', and the Deacon turned 'em out doors. Bein' BO good he naturally couldn't stand such doin's at all. and they went from bad to worse. I don't know where they be now, though I heerd they had gone to sea. I [:«!$: They seemed to be the most sot ag'inst r»- liffion of any of 'em, the two twins wasi Iheerdthe^ vowed they'd be piratiM be^ fore they died, but I don't know whethet they ever got up to that aim of theim o> not." " Well, there was another boy, betweev Zebulin and Zack. Where is he T " Oh, that was Jonathan. A real eood> hearted feller Jont was, and full of fui when his father wasn't round ; of course the old Deacon wouldn't stand no fan. Jont was the smartest one of the lot, and hii mother's idol. Well, the old Deacon wai bent on Jonts preachin', was determined tc make an elder of him, and Jont hadn't nevei experienced religion, nor nothin. ' He told his father, I've heern, that he never had nc call to preach, and that he was sot on bein' a carpenter. Always putterin' round a carpenter's shop, and makin' little housen, and wheels and things, Jont was ; his nateral nater all seemed to run that way, but the old Deacon wouldn't give in, said he called him, himself. He atted Jont about it all the time, preachin' at him, and exhortin' him. He was bound at convertin' Jont himself. I s'pose he ex> horted him powerful, and Jont not bein' good enough to stand it, the upshot of the matter was, he jined a circus ; turns somer* sets and so 4th." " What did Uncle Zebulin say to that T" " Oh, the old Deacon is so dignified you can't never see no change in him, he haint one of the kind to squirm. He said in a conference meetin' that week, that it was dretful consolin' to think he had always done his duty by Jont, sot his sinful state before him da^ and nicht, and been a pat- tern before him from nis youth. He was thankful and happy that his sin didn't lay on his coat-skirts. But it jest killed the old lady ; she didn't live only a few weeks aftei Jont left" " Then Aunt Patienc* is dead f said Jo. siah sithin*. " Yes, she had been in a kind of a melan« cholly way for some time, had kind o* crair spells, and when Jont left home that used her completely up. " " It seems to me there was another boj,, l"'t I can't call him byname lUs minnte." ' Oh, you mean Absolom." "Yes, Absolom! Where's he f* say* Josiah. " Oh, Absolom stole a cow and was sent to jail. He said he'd always been called un- godly, aud if he had the name, he'd have the game ; so he stole a cow and was shet up." " I was a thinkiu' I heard that Aunt Pa- tience'es niece's boy was a goin' to live vilk UNCLE ZEBULIN COFFIN. 7» preachin' at him, — the one that never had no father in particular." " Yes,'' says Elam Pitkins, " he did go to lire there, but the old Deacon was so tarnal good that the boy couldn't stand it with him."^ " What was the matter V says Josiah. " Well, the old Deacon beiu' sot so firm onto the dooterines himself, thought the boy ort to think as he did, and be widin', if it was for heaven's glory, to be burnt up root Knd branch. The old Deacon worked at that boy eifi;ht months uight and day to make him Willin' to go to hell ; and the boy, bein' a ma«ter hand for tellin' the truth, and not bem' ffood enough to be williu' to go, would^t say that he was. But the old DcACon had 'got his back up,' — as a profane .poet observes— and he was bound to carnr 'the day, and he'd argue with him powerful, t>o they say, ae to why he ort to be willin'. He'd tell him he was a child of wrath, and 'born in sin ; and the boy, bein' so mean, would sass him right back agam, and tell him that he didn't born himself ; that it wasn't none of his doin's and he wasn't to blame for it ; and that if he had had his way, and been knowin' to it at the time, he'd drather give ten cents than to have been born at all. " And the Deacon couldn't stand no such wicked talk aa that, and he'd lay to and whip him, and then he'd try again to make him willin' to go to hell. "And finally, the boy told him one day that he was willin'; he'd drather go, root and branch, than to live with him. And then the Deacon whipped him harder than ever ; and the L>v>y got discouracjed and took to lyin', and probable there haint so big a liar to-day in North America. He's studyin' for a lawyer." Again my companion seemed to be almost lost in thought, and says he : "It is the most as' lishin' thing I ever e, that so good a man as Zebulin, should ve a family that turned out so bad. It ma to be a mysterious dispensation of oridence." "Yes I" says Elam Pitkins. " It is Pro- vidence that done it, I haint a doubt of it. " This made me so agitated, that entirely unbeknown to myself I riz right up in the waggon, and says I : " Josiah Allen if you lay any more such doin's to Providence, I'll know the reason why." Says I, "Not bein* Elam Pitkins'es natural gardeun, if he's a mind to slaqder Providence I can't help it, but you shant, Josiah Allen. You shall not taJk ag'inst Providence, and abuse him by layin con- duct to him that He is as innocent of as a in- fant babe. " Well ! well ! do set down Samantha. How it does look for you to be a standing up ari'lin'." The democrat give a awful jolt jest that niimite, and truly I did what my companion advised me to, I sot down. Buttiiough my body was a settin' down my mind was up and a doin', fori see what was before me. I see that as a Promiscuous Advisor there was a job ahead of me to tackle in the cause of Right. When Elam Pitkins aot us down in front of Uncle Zebulin Coffin'ses house door, (two miles and a half almost, from Loon Town), the sun was jest a goin' to bed for the night ; a settlin' down into a perfect pile of gold and Surple and crimson bed clothes and comforters. >ut it seemed as if after ' he had pulled up the great folds of shinin' drapery over him and covered his head up, he was a laughin*^ to himself down uuder the bed-clothes, to think he had left the world lookin' so beauti- ful and cheerful. Everything seemed to ap- pear sort of happy and peaceful and still, still as a mouse, almost. It was the time of daisies and sweet clover, and all along the quiet country road, the wliite daisies was a. smilin' and noddin' their bright heads. And the sweet clover, and the wild loses with their pretty red lips that the bees had been a kissin' the biggest heft rf the day, seemed to take a solid comfort in lookin' bright, and makin' the air sweet as honey, and sweeter. There had been a shower of rain in the mornin', and old Nater's face was all washed off as clean as a pink ; not a mite of dtist on it. The medder was green as green oonldl be, and the wavin' wheat fields, looked first rate. There was a strip of woods towardi the west, quite a considerable ways off, shadyl and still it looked, and beyond that we couldj see the lake, part of it blue and serene like, and part of it lookin' like them streets of gold, we read about. The birds was a singin' sort o' low and I sweet in the trees in the orchard. The sky I overhead blushed up kinder pink, but thel east was blue and clear, and the moon wasf sailin' np init like a silver boat that had sot out for the land of Pure Delight and expected to get. there in a few moments. I don't know when I ever see a handsomer time. There are times yon know, when it seez as if heaven and earth got so near to each I other, that the stream of the Unknown that! divides our world from the world of eternal! light and beauty, could be spanned by one! mmute, if you could fix that minute onto aal arrer, and aim it right, and shoot it straight. [ Oh I how beautiful and conijolin' and inspir- in' and happyfyin* every thing looked, and| \l i « "JOSlAll ALLEN'S WIPE. V. •', ■ ]i ''' ^' I '■ If My I remarked to my psrdner in tones of rapped admiration and extacy : " Josiab, didyou eversee so handsome a time?" Josiah realized it ; that man has a great eye for beauty. Though he don't lay so n^uch as some men do, he f eela • the more. His eyes looked dreamy and sort o' meditat- in', and his tones was low and gentle, as he replied to me : " I hope they haint eat supper yet Sa- m-vntha. Before I could answer him, a man come roiuul the corner of the house, a walkin' si' >\vly along with his hands clasped under hiH ooat-tails, and I knew the minute I sot ' ' i on him it was Uncle Zebuiin Coffin. I if W&9 tall, and big boneded, but in dretful ;> ).>r order; he had wintered bad, I knew. 1 Ii'4 face was from half to three-(]^uarters of a \ uvl in length. (I may not git the exact number of inches, never havin' laid a yard stick to him, but I made a careless estimato in my mind, and have probable got it pivtty near right.) He seemed lengthy everywaj. His uose was long, and his chin was long, and hia mouth was drawed down length- ways dretful long, and his vest was long and his coat tails was long, and black as a coal his clothes was, every mite of 'em ; his vest was buttoned up tight to his chin, and he had a bbok stock on that come up to his ears. His head was well lifted up, partly by the stock, and partly by dignity— about half-and-lialf I should judge ; or come to think it over, th^re was probable more dig- uity than there was stock. He wa< awful dignified, and oh ! how cold he looked. Why, when he come round the corner of the house and faced the west with his cold disap- ])ioviu' eyteS, I'll be hangea if I didn't think that he would freeze all the beauty and gladness of tlie sky. And rare enough when I looked round, the sun had stopped laughin' in a minute, and in order to nide himself from the Deacon (aa it were) had be* ^un to haul np over his shinin' bed-clones, a old faded out coverlet, grey as a rat ; and A dark shadder was a faUin' over all the brightness of the world. When hia eyes fell onto us, Josiah trem- bled imperoeptabl^ ; but though cold shiv- ers was a runmn' over hit back, he ap- proached him — because he mnst— and I, not neing one to desert my companion in the Ikme of trouble, marched close by his side. "How do you do, Undo Zebuiin," and Josiah tried hard to snule. "We have come to see you. " • His face looked more dignified than ever, •ud several degrees colder. I declare it did seem as if Josiah's whiskers must ihow signs of frost, if it kep' on. " What stranger cometh to see me out of a world of darkness and sin ? Who claims me as his kinsman ? " And his voice was as cold as a axe in a December momin', jest as cold and icy. " It is Josiah Allen, Uncle Zebuiin, don't you know me? and this is Samantha," (And Josiah again made a fearful effort to smile. ) But Zebuiin Coffin drew his hands bsek, and folded 'em up under his coat-skirts, and looked at Josiah a minute or two in complete stillness, and his mean was as cold as a thermomiter hangin' up right on the North pole. It was a awful time. Finally he spoke : " I remember you Josiah Allen ; yon tar- ried with us occasionally in your youthful days. The last time you were here you snickered at prater time, one of my own ungodly sons piercm' you with a plu. Have you repented of your sinful ways, Josiah Allen ? Are you weary of husks ? " Oh I how wretched and meaohin' Josiah Allen looked. He felt too mean to spsak, and Uncle Zebuiin went on : " If you are weary ot husks and tired of swine, I can forgive you, Josiah. Have you repented ? Are you worthy of forgiveness T Speak, Josiah Allen ; have you come to eat of the fatted calt?" If Josiah Allen had been a sheep, a full blooded merino, he couldn't have looked any more sheepish. Jest at that minute a real sweet voice, but sort o' sad like, called out from the other side of the house : " Supper's ready, father." And then Zebuiin Coffin ungripped his hands from under his coat-tails, and shook hands first with Josiah and then with me. But it was done in such a way that takin' the clammy feelin' of his hand, and the cold icy look of his eye, and his name bein' Cof- fin, and all, I #lclare I felt jest as if I was at a funeral, and was one of the first mourn- A prettier girl than Molly Coffin I don't want to see ! Nater fs likely and well behaved— does lots of work too ; but sometimes throush havin' so much on her mind, I s'pose the old gal |^ts friskv and cuts up cunous capers. And if she had made a rosebud spring up and blow out in a dark snller bottom, it wouldn't have been a mite ouriouser oaper than for such a blossom of a girl to Uow out of such a soil as the Deacon's soil Pretty, and patient, and tender-hearted, and sad, and hopeless, and half broken hearted, I could see that too ; and the min- ute we was introduo«d» I jest laid holt of /" UNCLE ZEBULIN COFFIN. mutt ihow and tired of her and kissed her as if she had been my own girl. And Josiah kissed her too, and I was glad oh it. I haint one of the jealous kind, and I know my companion is one man out of a thousand. He has perfect confidence in my behaviour day and night, and 1 hare in hisen ; and oh ! what a consolin' comfort that is. Confidence is the anchor of the heart ; if it holds fast and firm, whac safetv and rest it gives ; bat if the anchor won t hold, if it is waverin' and goes a driftin" back and forthf a drag^in' the ropes of your afifection that try to grip holt of it — through the mud and th^ mire, oh, how wearin' it is to the rope and to the heart. But my trust in Josiah is like a cast-iron anchor that grap- ples the rock erery time ; no shock of the waves of change and chance and other wim- men can unhitch it ; for truly I know that though Josiah Allen is a short man, his morals are as high and towerin' as a meetin' loose steeple ; but I am a epiaodin'. Molly had baked potatoes and cold meat, besides pie and cake and preserves, and such stuff ; and as we had gone in entirely unez* Eected, I knew that Molly was a gotid ousekeeper,for her Tittles was good enough for the very best of company. But the Dea- con didn't seem to be satisfied with a thing she did. His eyes, as cold as the middle of last winter, foUered her all the time chuck full of disapproval. Her big sorrowful eyes watched his face anxiously and sort o' fear- ful like, every time he spoke, for she was one of them gentle, lovin' ones, a that a han h word or a cold look stabs like a blow; and I know it was them words and looks added to sorrow and Tom Fitkins, that had made her pretty cheeks so thin and white, and give that wistful, frightened, sorrowful look to her big brown eyes. i?here she sot not darin' to saj a word, and there my companion sdt lookin' as if he had stole a sheep. The Deacon asked a blessin^, remitidin' the Lord how awful good a christian he was, and asked him for mercy's sake to pitty the sinners assembled round his board. It Wis about as long as one ohapter of Pollock's Course of Time. Josiah thought when we was a talkin' it over afterwards, that it was as long as the hall book, the hull course of time itself, but it wasn't. We stood it Hrst- rate,only his words was so condemmin' to us, and frigid, and he did it in such a freezin' way that I was most afraid it would make the potatoes cold as snow-balls. I am a great case for potatoes ; the poet made a mis- take as far as I am concerned, for truly to me potatoes are "the staff of life" — or staffs I suppose would be more giammarius. And as I see that man set at the head of the table almost completely wrapped up in dignity — like a great self-righteous damper so It a settin' off all the warmth and brightness of life from the hull on us, and a feelin' uncommon big over it— I declare, duty an principal kep a hunchin' me so, and puttin me up to tackle him, that I couldn't hardl; eat. I knew the hour drew near for me t set fire to myself as a martyr, and as a Pro miscous Advisor to tackle him in the course of Right an i Molly. Most all the while we was a eatin', the Deacon kep' a hintin' and a preaohin', about the wickedness and depravity of wimmen dressin' themselves ap; and every time h would say anything, he would look at Moll; as if he was determined to freeze her as sti: as a poker. When we got up from the tabl and sot out in the settin'-roum, 1 see what his talk meant. It seemed she was a makin' a white dress for herself out of muslin— -jeat a finishin' off with some modest lookin' lace on the neck and sleeves, and a small — a very small anc reasonable amount of puckers; she coul make the bull on it in a day and half a the outside, and I could See she would loo! as pretty in it as a pink. When the ol Deacon went to set down, he took the skirl of the dress that hajppened to be alayin' ovei his chair, and handhu' it with considerablt the countenance he would a checkerec adder, he broke out colder and frigider thai ever; ' No wonder the national debt haint paid no wonder ruin and bankruptcy are in tl* land, and it is wimmen's base carnal extr* travagance that does it. " "1^8," says Josiah— who seemed to Wi to car^ the Deacon's favour — "it J4st as yon iay ; wimmen's is tarnal exti tad^nce." Oh how he looked at Josiah , "I said «( nkl, I am not in the practice of profi i^earin'." Oh how sorry my Josiah looked, to thi he had tried to cdrry him down. And iheii the Deacon went on abotli wimmen's baie and vile extravagance, much as Seventeen minutes by the cloe! givin' such a look once in a while onto m;^ respectable overskirt, and laCe head-dr«S(^ and Molly's drels, enough to make ieikli hang to 'em. I heard him go on as long 1 could, and then says I: "JSo doubt some of my sect are extrava- gant; I dare persume to say that some of th. big wimmen in Washington and New York,] and other big villages of the Union, git he clothes sometimes before the old ones al wore out; I hear they say.that they have dress up or they can't git any attention paidj to 'em from the more opposite sect; I hei they say, that the men there look down 'eta, and slight 'em, and treat 'em like psgr*{ • .A. ' 7t JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIEB. ■c 1>; ■"♦ feot anc4«rlin's if tbe;^ haint dreaied right up iu the height of fMhioD. Why, they say there wm a fashionable woman at Washing- ton whose bo had wrote a witherin' piece ag'inst wimmen's base wicked eztravagnce, bewarin' 'em, and urdn' 'em in the name of all that was sreat and good to come out and wear thick shoes, and dress with republican simplicity; and she, bein' converted by his burnin' eloquence, and bein' anxious to marry him. thoueht she oould bring him to terms by folleriu' after his adrioe. So she arrayed- herself iu a brown, high-neoked ala- paca dress, barren of ruffles and puckers, made to clear the floor and show her sensible calf-skin shoes, and went to a big party, ex* pectin' that her bo would be so tnank* fnl to her for foUerin' his adTioa; ao proud of her; so highly plouaed witii her behaTiour, that she would gu home as good as married to him. But t liey say, when he see how she was dressed, lie wouldn't speak to her, nor look at iier ; it broke up the match, he treated her with awful contempt, and witherin' scorn ; and she went into ex- travagance more than ever ; spent every cent of her property in gauzes, and bobinet laoe and things, wore 'em all out, and then went to the poor-house, a victim of leanin' too heavy onto such men's bewares. Lost and ondone ; broke down and mortified by hangin' too blindly onto that man s moral apron strings ; I pity her, but I don't uphold her, nor him neither ; their heads was soft, both on 'em, too soft for comfort. " I dare say that there are lota of wim- men besides her that git new bonnets when they haint a sufferin' for 'em, and buy new dresses when their old ones haint hardly eome to mendin', and mebbjy some of 'em hare two or three sets of jewelry at one time ; and these dresses, and bunnets, and jewelry, folks can lay holt of, and ^ shake out before the eyei of the public, aod tha public can look at 'em, and shed tears onto em, and bewail over 'em about wimmen's extravagance ; but men's extravagance haint so easy to git holt of as store clothes be. You can't weep over d|^ smoke when it is evaporated, and after they are over with, you can't git holt of costly »win9S, and club dinners, and yot races, and rides after fast horses, and bets, and gamblin' debts, and worse. As I said, their extravagance is harder to git holt of, but it is worae than hers ; for if she and he gits hungry, she can sell her jewelery and fine clothes to buy bread for 'em, but who— no matter how big « speculator he is — ^who can sell costly Innones years afterwards, and wines after thay are drunk up, and gamin' and horse debts after they are paid up, and old plea- sure rides after fast horses, and etcetery. A man couldn't sell 'em at any lay at all, if he starved to death ; so man's extravagance is more extravagant than woman's." The Deacon didn't mind mv words no more'n the wind a whistlin' round the corner of the bam ; but he give a look onto the little white waist that was a layin' on the table, as angrr and rebukin' a look as I ever see, and says he : " To think an immortal soul will peril its hopes of heaven on such wicked vanity." " Wicked 1" says I, holdin' up the little waist admirinly on m^ thumb and forefinger. " It haint wicked, it is as white as chalk clean through ;" says I, "who told us to consider the lilies, and they are puckered up, and ruffled off as much again as this is, and all ornamented off with little gold orna- ments ; if there was any wickedness in 'em would He have sot us to considerin' of 'em T No I Zebulin Coffin, no I" And then I went on in pretty reasonable tones : " No woman can have stronger principles than I have on the subject of ruffles and knife pleatin'b, when pursued after as a stiddy busmess and a trade. But I say it is jest as sensible to expect young folks in the spring of hfe, to> want to kinder trim themselves out and ' look pretty, as it is to expect everything else to kinder blow out in the spring of the year ; apple trees, and pozy beds and so 4th." Says I, "lama Promiscous Advisor by trade Uncle Zebulin, and I feel it my duty to say to you promiscously, that you are un- reasonable ; you don't have charity enough for folks." And then as I calculated to all the time, I g'ive him a very, very blind hint about Tom itkins — for I thoueht mebby I could mol- lyfy the old Deacon about him — and so says I in a awful ronndabout, blin 1 way : " Meb- by you haint charity enough for a certain person that is likely as likely can be ; mebby you condemn this certain person because he £lays dominoes, and has danced a rery little 1 a neighbonrly way. •« The Deacon acted mad ; and he run on about danoin' almost fearfully, when I asked him considerable calmly : " Did you ever dance when yon was young. Uncle Zih ?" If a look oonld have out anybodys head off, my Josiah would have mourned ovor a gulnntined companion that very minute. "Dance i / dance /" Oh how he went on ; and says I, " I s'pose yon went to parties and played?" "Oh yes," says he, " In youthful mirth I gambolled through the innocent forms of ' Wink 'em Slyly ' and such, bnt I nevar danced, I never committed that sin." "No," says I, "but you went through with all the motions of danoin', eaperin' round the room, chasin' likely wimman at all, if he tr*r«guio« it ny wordi no la the corner K>k onto the l*yin' on the >k u I ever an immortal kren on luoh ip the little id forefinger, hite as chalk told us to are puckered o as this is, 6 gold orna- iness in 'em erin' of 'em f then I went " No woman an I have on life pleatin'b, business and » sensible to ng of bfe, to ^es out and everything ipring of the beds and so Advisor by it my duty ; j^ou are un- sirity enough 1 the time, I b about Tom I could mol- and so says ay: "Meb- or a certain be ; mebby because he ft Tory little be run on ^en I asked id you ever jleZeb?" •odyi head tamed ovar ' minute. B went on ; to parties fol mirth I t forma of nt I neT«r n." t through UNCLE ZEBULIN COFFIN, T9 to Copenhagen; and a runnln' 'em through the Needles-eye till they was most dead. Winkin' of 'em slyly, and raoin' 'em round till you most ran your precious logs off and theim too. You want throngb all the motions of danoin', only instead of takin' their hands and prom' «nadin' down the room with 'em at a slow respectable gait to the sound of music, you laid too and chased 'em, galloped after 'em like a wild lujun till you chased 'em down ; takin' the adrantage of 'em by dodgin' un- beknown to 'em— catchin' holt of 'em and a tearin' their dresses, rippin' of 'em off at the waist; steppin' through their flounces, tow- , eaperin' wimmaa xeliu' theirhair, and lamin' of 'em. You ehased 'em round in a particular form jest like danoin' only what took the wickedness off was your kissin' 'em when you oatohed 'em; every man in the room lussin' every woman promiscuous; that made it moral and religious, so Deacons and all other meetin' house folks could f oUer it up. " He looked wrathful, very; but I continued on in more reasonable azents : — " I never had no call to be a dancer, I always thought my time could be spent in a more protitable way; and my Tirzah Ann never had no call that way, and neither did she ever take to those promiscuous kissin' parties. When she was a little mite of a girl she didn't want to kiss anybody but her pa and me, and I didn't make her. Some thought she was too dainty, and I ort to punish her. Wimmen with their faces cov- ered with Scotch snuff, have argued with me that it was my duty to whip her for hangin' back from kiasin' 'em; but I says to 'em what if some big giant should stand over me and make me kiss Simon Slimpsey or Solo- mon Cypher, how should I feel ? And Tir- lah Ann haa her rights as well as I have- children's rights are jest as right as wim- men's riehts. V^^hy should I, because I am physically stronger than she is, force her to do what is disagreeable and repirlsive to her ? There is no justice in it. Little children forced into this life entirely unbeknown to them, ealled out of the peaceful land of No- where into this troublesome world by no will of their own, ort to be treated well, Zebulin Coffin, by their fathers and mothers and parents. It is a solemn thing, one of the solemneat things that ever was done to wake up a deathless soul, to be endlessly happy or miserable. An immortal soul, that can't through time and eternity — no matter how tired it is, ever so to sleep a^in; oan't never lay off for halTa moment, if ever so wearjr and despairin', the burden of life's re- sponsibilitiea, the burden of life's sorrows; oan't never lay down tiie awfnl— awful be- eanse so mysterioas — gift of immortality ; can't never so back to tho serene if lonesome land you caUed 'em from — they have got to face sorrow and weariness and death. You have Bot them down in front of them trou- bles anyway; and the least you can do for 'em is to make 'em as happy as you can treat 'em with respect and civility and d^ well by 'em. Ana if their hearts seems t( be sot on certain persons, if them certain persons are likely — which they be — we ort to do as we would be done by if we was ii Tom's and Molly's place." But I see then that even these roundabout hints wouldn't be took. I see how hard it was to mollify him about Molly, and I has* tened to continue on. " As I was a sayin', I wouldn't make Tir- sah Ann kiss folks promiscuous when sh« was a child, and when she grew up sort of bashful like, it didn't trouble me, tor I kne\« her little dainty, timid, modest ways was jest like the blush on a peach or a bunch o! trapes ; if that got brushed off by r3Ugh audlin', all the world couldn't never put ic back again. As I said, she never had no drawin towards balls and promiscuous par- ties, and runnin' off nights away from home. And though I don't consider it the height of wickedness at all, still it didn't worry me a bit to have her contented and willin' to stay to home. She said home was the pleasantest spot in the world to her, and so Thomas J. said. Josiah and I did our best to make home pleasant to the children ; we had all sorts of virtuous and harmless games, music and etcetery, to make 'em happy — and they wot happy. We worked hard to git 'em headed right — and they did head right ; and when a likely young man come along that loved Tirxah Ann, and she him, why, we give our consent, jest as, in my opinion, cer- tain persons ort to have the free and full consent of a certain Deacon." I wouU giva bin a blind hint onoe in a while, if he took my head off; but I see by his looks that iw wouldn't do to oomo out plain jest yet, so I went on : — " I tried to make myself a sort of a mate to my Tiraah Ann, brought her up so's not to feel awe-stmck and afraid of me ; afraid to confide all her little tribulations and wor* ryments to me." Says I, "We worked head work to keep 'em good and happy ; Jo> •iahand me did.' The Deacon had sot for the laat several moments with his head right up in the air, and his eyes rolled npso roonlant aeemneh besides the whites of 'em, and a* I stopped a few moments (for truly my breath had five ont^ my deep prindpla ton* «■« np reath dratfal uuil) M gra«Md ««t t " Iforfa." ■ 1, 10 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. 'a Bat I sayi mildlv, "don't you believe iu iforks T" •• No I don't, I believe in faitb ; you seem to lay out to be saved by •wc.-ks.*' And again he spo. tout that " works," as if it was the metneat thing he ever heerd on ; • he lifted up his nose in as unbelievin, and scornful away as I ever see a nose lifted np. But I kep' cool, and says I, " No I don't ; Itit I bf?.lieve faith and works ort to go to- gether ; they ort to work in one haruess, A 4rawin' the soul along the straight and narrer way." Says I " They haint calcul- ated to work in a single harness, either of 'em ; they are ,}o;ble breasted, and folks ort io realize tlji*t they be." Says I, I have geen folka before now that kep' the eye of the^r faitn belli, so stidiy upwards, that til jy didn't know nor care how many weak Vi'l lu'lpless ones they was crunchin' down '.V l(ir their heels ; how many infant babes V.MS jv ps^rishin' with hunger about 'em, s^uvin' puyaically, and spiritually ; the a'r ui!I of tlie groans and prayers of a suflFerin' hunianity, and they a M'alkin' calmly on, :i hangiii' on to their faith, and their old iiulioia, as if it was the most delightful and ooiisolin' thing they over heard on, to think l.'u'i/ w.aa goiii' to be saved, and somebody else wasn't. And then I've seen them that 1 lid themselves out on their good works, thought they was goin' to earn a deed of the heavenly homestead by doin' day's works below ; think they made themselves, and worship their maker. But their haint either of these ways the right way." Sayi I, " If you was a drowndin*, you would iMBlieve in faith and works both. You would want somebodv to have faith, they Mold ((it you out, and then yon would want 'em to lay to, and haul you ashore. " Says I, "Faith alone in that case would drownd yon stiffer'n a mush-rat , and jest so in varioos cases, — poor widders for instance. Now Mveral hundred deacons may git tv>f gether in a warm meetin'-house, and lean over on their creeds and have faith that a certain widder will come through the winter all right. And probable it wouldn't be half the help to b'->r that one small deacon would be that loaded up his Bobs with stove-wood, and flour, and potatoes, and side-pork, and jest worked his way along through the mow to her cold empty suller. And then on the other hand not to have any faith, that I couldn't stand. Some f^lks say they wont believe in anything they can't see for themselve.^i. Oood land I how will they get holt uf the perftiflle at a rose, or tackle a gust of wind ? Otte is eweot enottgh to fill you with happi new, and the other thing is strong enough to blow you over ; but you can't git hold of one, with your two hands, or wrastle with the other and throw it. " We work by faith every day of our lives; we plant seed in the dark earth, be- lievin' that though the seed perishes, it will break the bands of death, and rise in greeness and bloom ; though jest how is does that job you cant tell, nor I can't, nor Josiah. 'They needn't talk to me aboui not believin' anything they don't understand ; for what do we understand come to look at the matter fair and square T " Says 1, '* Life itself is a sober riddle, the solemnest conun- drum that was ever put out to humanity. Who has ever been able to git the right answer to it by reasonin' it out himself, and if he "did cypher out i answer to suit him- self, how would hf Vnow it was the right one ? We see that things be, but why they be so, you can't tell, nor I, nor Josiah. "'Truly, if anybody gits to pryin' into hidden things, 2nd reasonin on first causes, he finds that the flood is deep and the rain is descendin' onto him, and the proud peaks of his own reason and judgment is drownded completely out. But God has sent forth an ark that rides triumphant on the face of the waters; His revealed word floats above the rainy deluge of our fears and wonderments. Not to have any faith would tucker me completely out; there would be a looseness to it I couldn't stand, a waverin' unstiddy- ness that would upset me, and take me ofl^en my feet." Says I, " Faith and works ought to be twisted in one strand, and when t'ley are, they make a cord that anchors the soul to the Kock of Ages, and holds it there fast and Arm, so that change, and chance, and sin, and temptation, and ^ all the storms of this stormy life will beat ag'inst it in vain, and bimeby that very cord will draw the soul rif.'ht np throngh the pearly gates into the dtj of OQir Lord." X declare J didn't hardly know where 1 was, nor who I was, I was so almost lost ftG>i aarried away some distance by mv emotions. But I was soon drawed back to the realities of this life by Zebulin Coffin. His mind wae a roarain' back to the subject on which he had went on, and again he spoke out with a groan: "To think I to think I have lived to see and hear a church member uphold dancin'." " I haint a holdin' it up," says I, coldly. "With the hrm cast-iron principles I ha-e got, I never would dance a step with £.ny- body but my Josiah; and it haint much likely we shall begin to learn the trade now, as old as we be, and most dead with the rheumatiz, boCu on us. Why, if we should walta together, as lame as I be. J'SCLE ZEBULIN COFFIN. 81 1 couldn't keep my fest half a minute; and if I should fall on my parduer, he would be a dead man, and I know it; I am hefty, very, and he is small boneded, and weighs but a little by the steelyards, I love that man devotedly, and I don't want to dance; but I say and I contend for it, if I was a follerin' up 'Wink-em-Slyly' and etcetery, I wonldii't have too much to say a^'inat other kindd of caperin' round the floor, such as dancin' and so 4th. " " I say all this to you, Uncle Zebulir, not as Josiah Allen's wife, but as a woman with a vow on her. When folks set out on towers as Promiscous Advisors, they set out as suf- ferers and martyrs; *hey set out expectin' to be burnt up on various stakes of the same. I have locked arms with Principle, I am keepin'stiddy company withDuty,and they are a drawin ' me along and a hunchin' of me in the side, a makin' me say to you, that you are aa self-righteous as the Old Harry; that you are more sot on makin' a pattern of your- self than in .makin' the world 'round you happier and brighter; that instead of reliect- in' heaven's peace and glory back again upon a sad earth as christians ort to, you have made a damper of yourself, shettin' ofiF all warmth and light and happiness; a damper for sinners to set down and freexe to death by." "To think!" he groaned out, "thatany- bo; y should dare to find fault with me when I haint committed a sin in thirty-iive years, nor smiled in over forty." " Not laughin' V^aint no sign of religion Uncle Zeb; because a man makes himsell disagreeable and repulsive, that haint ano- ther sign; gloom and discomfort haint jpiety; because a man ia !n pain it haint no sign ne isenjoyin' religion. I wouldn't give two or three straws for a religion that didn't make folks happier as well as better; more tender and charitable and pitiful; more loving anr. helpful to all humanity. Bigotry and in- tolerance never was religion. Uncle Zeb, nor never will be, though they have been called 80 time and again; religion iasunthin' differ- ent, it is aa beautiful as they are tegus; it is gentle, full of joy and peace, pure, easily en- treated, full of good works, mercy, and char- ity — which is love. " It is not Samantha, but a woman on the battle- Held of Right, who ia a rakin' you , down with the arrers of Truth; it is a Pro- liscous Advisor who aays to you, that you I have for years been doin' what a great many do [in the name of religion; you have wrapiied [yourself in your own dignity and self righte- fousnesa, and worshipped yourself instead of fcOod." I didn't say no more then to the old Dea- Wi in a martyr wry; I pulled in the reina 6 and dismountec down from the war horse that was a canterin' away nobly with me, and asnortin' in the cause f>f Right. Thougli ready and willin' in spirit to mount this war hor^e and foller on where Principle leads, without saddle or bridle, and to suffer as a Promiscous Advisor, still it is a tuckeria' business, and if anybody don't believe it, let 'em ride off' this war-horse on a tower. And the very hardest and most tuckerin' place it ever cantered into, the most gaulin' and awfnlest place it ever pranced round in, is other folka'es housen. When it comes to advisin' folks promiscously, under their ofvTi " vials and mantletrees," never, never do I feel such temptations to give up my shield and fall oflen his back. Oh, John Rogers I you never, never suffered more exciniciatin'Iy than does Josiali Allen's wife in S!;ch moments. Nothin', n'othin' but principle could nerve me up to the agonizin' effort. As I said, I didn't say no more to the old Deacon that ni^ht in a martyr way, and oh I what a relief it was to dismount from the prancin' steed of Duty, throw off the sharp moral spur from my aohin' feet, curl in my lofty principle tone, and assume again the gentle and almost affectionate axents of Samantha. And another reaaon why I thought I would be kinder easy with the old Deacon and not say anything to git him mad, was my determination to mollyfy him about Molly — and a plan I had in my headgrowin' bigger and stronger every minute — to viarry that ijirl to Tom Pitkins, myself, be/ore J Irj't that houst. The hired girl had told rae — I went out ta wash my hands to the sink and I happened to ask her in a polite ^^ay if she was goin' to aee the Seatinal, and she said ahe was, that the old Deacon had told her that day he waa coin* to be married in two weeks to Mis» Horn, and shouldn't want her no longer— and if he vr&r, a coin' to marry that Horn what good waa ifloUy a goin' to do thare, only in a martyr way. Some gentle sou!g seem to be born martyrs, not to prineiplea and idees, but ready to be offered up on a Hern or anything ; ready to be pricked and scattered over with anuff in their pinnin' blankets, and grow up ready to sacrifice themselves to ;my idol that calls on *em to — crumple right down and be aot 6re to — such was Molly. And it is for some strong hearted friend to snatch 'em away from the fagots and the kindlin' wood, — such a friend is S tmantha. Some see happiness tight in front of 'em, and are to weak to grasp hdlt oi it ; such need the help of a hand like hers. I lay awake the biggest heft of that night, a thinkin' in deep thought, and a layiii' o£ IM S2 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. 1^, 1 ;; 1 * \ pl;iu3. And finally I guess about three o'clock, I apoke out and says I : " losiah Allen, we have got to marry Molly to-day before we leave this house." " Good land !" says Josiah startiu' up on his piller full of horrer. " Good land," says ke, "I haiiit a Mormon, Samantha, I can't marry to another woman." Says I coolly, '"Lay down and compose yourself Josiah Allen ; 1 am a goin to marry her myself." 'Iliid skairt him worse than ever I could see, au'l he started up, with a still more .:;!iastl3' look ont > him. He was so pale A\ ith horrer that his bald head shone in the m.joalight like a big goose egg, and his eyes stood out about a quarter of an inch Avitli roar and excitement. He thought I was cielerious ; says he in tremblm' tones : ' • What does ail you Samantha ? Shan't I 1 ub your back ? Don't you want sunthin' t.) take? Savs I calmly, "I want a companion that w.iui interrupt me before I finish a speech. 1 ain a goin' to mrrry Molly to Tom Pitkiiis in^stdf before I leave this louse. Lay down Josiah Allen and keep still while I talk it over with you." " Talk it over !" says h« in loud angry tones, throwin' his head back on the piller. " I would break out in the dead of night, and scare a man to death, a talkin' and a ar;^uin'. Do go to sleep, and lenune. " But I held firm, and would tell iiim about the plan I had been a laj'iu' on thioiigh the night. 1 would tell him how I meant to moUyfy the Deacon about Molly." Says I, "Josiah Allen, I am a woman that his got a vow on me, and I love that girl, as little as I hav9 seen of her, and I am a goin' to do by hei ao I would want our Tirzah Ann done by. " Say» I, "\Ve shant urobable never visit Loon Town again ; Tom Pitkins is liable to die off any time with the feelin's he feels for her ; she is liable to die oflf any minute with her uuhappiness, and her feelin's for him. I shouldn't wonder a mite if they didn't live more'n ten or fifteen years if things go on as they be now. And as bad olF and wretched as Molly is now, wor^e is ahead of her, the gloom of a Coffin is enough, let alone the hardness of a Horn. Molly haint a goin' to be sacrificed on that Horn, while I have got a life left. Desper- ate dis^-'Ases require desperate medicines." '' Well, do for mercy's s&ke go to sleep and lemme." " What if it was our Tirzah Ann that was in her place." Says I in a low deep voice, "Haint you a father, Josiah Allen ?" "No I haint!" he snapped out enough to tear my night cap in to. " No I haint, notliin' nor nobody, nor j. wont be at thii time of uight." " Haint you no principle ?" says L "No I haint ! not a darn principle." "I'd lay and swear if 1 was in your place ) Josiah Allen," says I almost cf)ldly. " \Vell ! the idee of rousin' anybody up in the dead of niglit, and callin' on 'em' for principle and things. But v )u wont git any principle out of me at thi '■ime of night, you'll see you wout," he holleit.1. j He was almost a luny fur the time bein'. I pitted him, and says I soothin'ly : "Go to sleep Josiah, and we'll talk it over in the niornin'." He dropped off to sleep, and I kep' on a thinkin' and a layin' on my plans to marry ' Molly off till most inornin'. And I did it, I married off Moll' about one o'clock and we started f or the Sentiual in the neighbour- hood of two. Jest how I mollyfied the old Deacon about Molly, and brought him to terms, 1 thought I wouldn't tell to anybody but Josiah. Mebby there was hints th rowed out to him that there was Horns that would be meddled with, and sot up ag'inst him. I guess I hadn't better te^: ''■. .'7' I made up my mind that I M'ouldn't .;;V' jthin' about it to anybody but my Josiau. But I dress- ed Molly up that very afternoon, — she a blushiu' and a laughin' and a crym' at the sunie time — in liiat very white dress, and mai! ied her myl»lf (assisted by a Methodist minister) to Tom Pitkins. And I have learned by a letter from Molly, and she sent me ht*- new picture, (they have gone to houseke'ejiin' and are as happy as kings) that her fatlier is married to Misa Ilurn. And all I have got to say is, that she needs a good horn disposition to git along with him. And he, unless I am mistaken, will wish before the year was u-p that he was a sleepin' peacefully inside of hia own Ser* name. THE GRA.7VD EXHIBITION, From the first minute I had give a thought to goin' to see the Sentmal, my idee had been to git boarded up in a private house. And 1 had my eye (my mind's eye) upon who was williu' and glad to board us. The Editer of the Auger'ses wife's sister's hus- band's cousin boarded folks for a livin' — she was a Dickey and married to a Lampheare. The Editor of the Auger'ses wife told m* early in the spring, that if she went, she should go through the Sentinel to her sister's, and phe happened to mention Miss Lamp- heare and the fact that she boarded up folks for a livin.' So when we decided to go, I told her when she wrote to her sister to ask her, to ftsk Miso Lampheare if ibe was lHe grand exhibition. 63 out be at thi, rillin' to board Josiah and me, and how luch she would ask for the boards. She irrote back ; her terms were moderate and iside of our means, and my mind was at test. I almost knew that Josiah would r.ant to thro^v himself onto his relatives irougb the Si^utinal, but the underpinnin' :a.s no firmer and rockier under our horse barn than the determin9.tion of her that was Bamantha Smith, not to encamp upon a 2ud jousin. We had quite a lot of relations a ivin' out to Filadelfj' —though we never ^een 'em — sort'o distant, such as 2nd cousins, imd so 4th, till they dwindled out of beiu' ^ny relations at all ; descendants of the Dag- ([ets and Kidds — Grandmother Allen was a add — no relation of old Captain Kidd. No! |f any of his blood had been in my Josiah 'a ^eina, I would have bled him myself if I lad took a darnin' needle to it. No! the tidd sea are likely folks as I have heerd - ^nd Josiah was rampant to go to cousin Sam lidds (a Captain in the late war) through he Sentiual. But again I says to him calmly Dut firmly: "No! Josiah Allen, no! anythiT-^fr but l)ringin' grief and trouble onto perft. . «tran- Jfers jest because they happened to be born lecond cousin to you, unbeknown to '«m;" id I repeated with icy firmness — for I see le was a hankeriu' awfully — "Josiah Allen will not encamp upon Captain Kidd through \e Sentinal.' No! Miss Lampheare was my theme, and ly gole, and all boyed up with hope we fcrrove at her dwelJin' place. Miss Lam- leare met us at the door herself. She was tall spindlin' lookiu' woman one that had keen troub' ^ — for she had always kep' board- ers, and haa had four husbands, and buried em in row, her piresent one bein' now in a lecliue. When I told her who I was, she let me with warmth and said that any friend |>f she that was Alminy Dickey was dear to ler. But friendship, let it be ever so ardent, ban net obtain cream from well water, or bause iron bedsteads to stretch out like Injy lubber. She had expected us sooner, if we )me at all, and her house was overtiowin' — Ivery bed, lounge, comer and cupboard, jeing occupied, and the buro and stand Iraws made up nightly for children." What was we to do ? Night would soon Bt down her cloudy mantilly upon Josiah l^nd me, and what was to become of us. Miss ..,..), 84 jOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFK i; we got to bed Josiah would lay and talk. He would speak out of a sudden : " Grand Imposition Hotel 1" And I'd say, "What of it, what if it is ?" And then he'd say : " They have got a crackin' good name, Samautha. I love to Bee names that mean sunthin'." And then he'd ask me if I remembered the song about Barbara Alien, aud if it would hurt my feelin's if he should lay and sing averse of it to me the bed put him in mind o*' it so." I asked him what verse — but there was that in my toue that jnade him say no more about siiigui' — he said it was the verse where Barbara wanted her mother to have her coffin made "loug audnarrer." And then he'd begin again about the pillers, and say how he wished he had brought a couple of feathers from home, to lay on, so he could have got some rest. He had pulled out a little wad of cotton- battin' before we went to bed to convince me of their in- gredents. But says I to him : " Josiah Allen, a easy conscience can rest even on cotton-battin' pillers," and I added in awful meanin' tones, "/ am sleepy, Josiah Allen, and want to go to sleep. It is time," says I with dignity, ' ' that ^/e was both reposia' in the arms of Morphine." Nothin' quells him down quicker than to have me talk in a classical higU learnt way, and in a few minutes he wa3 fast asleep. But though, as I told Josiah, my conscience was at rest and I felt sleepy, the musquitoes was dretful, and I don't knov^' as a guilty conscience could roust anyho;! y up much, or gall anybody more fearfully. They was truly tegua. And then the i)artition bein' but thin, I could hear folks a walkin' all night — and take it with ''-'r trampin' and the musquitoes payin' so much attention to me, I never got no good sleep 'till most morn- in'; but then I go*i a good nap, and felt con- siderable chirk when I got up. We eat our breakfast in pretty good season and Uid out to git a early start. I didn't hare but one draw-back worth tnentionin' and that was, I had lost one eye out of my specks 'somewhere on our way from Melankton Spicer'ses, and I told Josiah I felt mortified, after I had lotted so on seein' theSeutinal,to think I had got to see him with one eye out; says he : "I guess you'll see enough with one eye'^before night." Then I put on my things and we sot sail. It was a lovely mornin' though considerable warm, and I felt wcdl, and almost gay in apirita as we wended our way on our long and tegas journey from our room to the out- side of the house ; (we was goin' to walk atodt to theSentinal, the distance bein' but short and triilin') but at last we reached the piazza, and emerged into the street; I see that every man, woman and child was there in that identical street, and I thought to myself, there haint no Sentinal to-day, and everybody has come out into this street for a walk. I knew it stood to reason that if there had been a Sentinal there would have been one or two men or wimmin attendin' to it and I knew that every woman and child on the hull face of the globe was right there be- fore me, and behind me, and by the side of me, and fillin' the street full, walkin' afoot, and up in big covered waggons, all over 'em, on the inside, aud hangin on the outside, as thick as bees a swarmin'. Some of the the horses was hitched ahead of each other, I s'pose so they could slip through the crowd easier. I couldn't see the village hardly any owin' to the crowd a crushin' of me; but from what little I did see, it was perfectly beauti- ful. I see they had fixed up for as, they had whitewashed all their door-steps, and winderblinds, white as snow, and trimmed the latter all off with black ribbin strings. Everything looked lovely and gay, and I thought as I walked along, Jonesville couldn't compare with it for size and grand- eur. I was a walkin' along, crowded in body, but happy in mind, when all of a sadden a thought come to me that geared me worse than any elbo or umberell that had pier'^'^'' my ribs sense we sot out from the tarvern. Thinke'es I all of a sudden; mebby they have Eutoft'the Sentinal 'till I come: mebby I ave disappointed the Nation, and belated 'em, and put 'em to trouble. This was a sad thought and wore on ray mind considerable, and made me almost for- get for the time bein' my bodily sufferin's aa they pushed me this way and that, and goared me in the side with parasols and uniberells, and carried off the tabs of my mautilly as for as they' would go in every direction, and shoved, and stamped, and crowded, I declare I was tore to pieces in mind and body when I arrove at last at the entrance to the grounds. The crowd was fearful here, and the yells of different kinds was distractive; one conceited little creeter catched right hold of the tabs of my mantilly, and yeUed right up in my face: "Wou't you have a guide? Buy a guide mom to the Sentinal," And seven or eight others were a yellin' the same thing to me, the impudent crepters; i jest turned round and faced the one tuat had got holt of my cape, and says I: "Leggo of my tabs !" , He wouldn't leggo ; he stood and yelled out right up in in my face, "Buy a guide, you haint got no guide !" Says I with dignity, "Yes I have; duty ie my guide and also Josiah ; and now,' k' -flE GRAND EXHIBITION. 8A ig, Jonesville a, and belated isaya I firmly, "if you don't leggo of my tabs, [I'll make your legyo." My meau skairt him; [he leggo, and I followed on after my Josiah; [but where was Josiah ? I couldn't see him; in tussliu' with that impudent creeter over my cape, my companion had got carried by [the crowd out of iry sight. Oh ! the agony Jcf that half a moment; I tnrned and says to [• policeman iu almost agonizin' tones: "Where is my Josiah ?" He looked very polite at me, and says he : ••I don't know," Says I, "Find him for me instantly ! Have [you the heart to stand still and see husbands 5 and wives parted away from each other ? Have you any principle about you T Have you got entirely out of pity ?" Says he with the same polite look, "I •don't know." 'Have you a wife?" says I in thrillin' .•xents: "Have you any children ?" Says he, "I don't know." I had heerd that there was wasn't no in- formation to be extracted from 'em as a -class, and I give up; and I don't know what my next move would have been, if I hadn't catched sight of that beloved face and that l-old familiar hat in front of mr; I hastened forred and kep' considerable calm in mind, v-'ile my body was bein' l-^rowded and pualiea round, for I though'^ if my conjectures was true they would have reason enough to gore me. But presen'lv, or abeut that time we found burselves carried by the crowd, and stranded (as it were) before some little plact 3 that looked some like the place the ticket agent looked from at Betsy Bobbet and me, when we bought our tickets for New \''ork village ; and I begun to feel easie in my mind, for they seemed to be purchasin* tickets for the Sentinal. There was one place for wimmen, and one for men, not bnt a little ways apart ; and my Josiah and me tinder divided up and waited our turn, and when he got a chance I see him step up in a peaceable way and ask how much a ticket cost. "Fifty cents for a adult," says the man. Says Josiah. "I haint a adult." Says the man, "You be." Josiah looked as if he would sink . o be accused — right there in company — of sun- thin' he never was guilty .f in the world ; it teok him so aback tuat he couldn't say aother word to defend himself ; he looked mortified and sheepish as any bla^ k sheep 'I «ver laid ryes on ; and I jest ^^tepped forrad and took iun p»rt, — for it madded me fto see my pardner so brow-baat and ia- poHcd upon. Again 'owiah says m a s«a<'.hiu' wav. for as mortified as he ^elt he determined to stick to the truth, and not own up to what he wasn't guilty of. " I haint a adult," says he. "No !" says I, "anybody that says that of my pardner, says what they can't prove. Josiah Allen is a likely man ; his character stands firm ; he never had no such name, and it can't be proved onto him ; he is as sound moralled a man as you will find in Jonesville or the world I" "I mean," says the man, "50 cents for eveiybody except childern carried in the •rms.*' " Well," says I out of all manner of pa- tience with him, " why didn't you say so iu the first ou't, and not go to hintin' and insinuatin'. " He tried to turn it off in a laugh, but his face turned red as blood, and well it might ; tryin' to break down a likely man's charac- ter and gettin' found out in the mean caper. Josiah took out a dollar bill and hand- ed it to him, and he handed, back sunthin' which was tickets as Josiah s 'posed ; but when he handed me one afterwards or there- abouts, I see they was cwo fifty cent bills. Josiah was dumfounded and so was I ; but I spoke right out and says I, " That mean creeter is tryin' to make us trouble, or else he is tryiu' to hush it up, and bribe us not to tell of his low lived conduct." Says I firmly, ''Less go right back and give him back his money and command him to give us a Lwful ticket, and tell him we haiut to be bougiit or sold ; that our principles are elevated and we are on a tower. " So we went back again ; and oh the sufferin's of that season ; if our agony was great when we was bore along by the crowd, what was our suffering's when we was stemmin* our way agiust it. Two or three times my companion would have eunk beneath his burdens, but boyed up by prin- ciple I held him up (as it were) and at last almjst completely exhausted and wore out, and our faces covered with perspiration we stood before him again. He looked mad and cross, but tried to turn it off with a laugh when Josiah told him our businesa, and handed him back the money. He said it was all right and told us to give the money to a mail near the turn stile and go in. I see he was in earnest, so I told Josiah we would go back and try it, and we did, and found it was jest as he said, but there was a great mystery to it ; we handed out fifty cents a piece to a man, and he dropped tt down through a slit in a counter ; and a gate that loosed some like my new fashioned clothes barF sort o' turned round v^ituus and let us in one at a time ; and the minute I was inside I see my gloomy forebodin s had been in vain — they hadn't put off tlis Senti- nal fmt me ! That was my fin^t glad thought; r 66 'OSIAH ALLEN'b tVIFE. 'm 1 '' but my very next thought was, Good land ! and €rood land 1 and Good land ! Them was my very first words, and they dihn't express my feelin'a a half or even a quarter. Why, comin' right out of that contracted and cruahin' crowd, it seemed as if the place we had found ourselves in was as roomy and spacious as the desert of Sarah, s'posen she, the desert, was fixed off into a perfect gar- den of beauty, free for anybody to wander round and git lost in. And the majestic Main Buildin' that near- ly loomed up in front of us I Why I if old Ocian herself, had turned into glass, and wood-work, and cast-iron, and shinin' ruffs, and towers, and flags, and statutes, and everything, and made a glitterin' palace of herself, !t couldn't (as it were) looked any more grand and imposin' and roomy ; and if every sand by the sea-shore had jumped up and put on a bunnet or hat as the case may be, there couldn't have been a bigger crowd (seemin'ly) than there was a passin' into it, and a passin' by, and a paradin' round Jo- siah and me. Under these strange and almost apaulin' circumstances, is it any wonder I stood stun still, and said, out of the very depths of my heart. the only words I could think of, tliat would any where nigh express my feeliu's and they was " Good land ! " But as my senses begun to come back to me, my next thoutrht was, as I looked round on every side of me, "Truly did my Josiah say, that I could see enough with one eye ;" and jest then a band commenced playin' the "Star Spangled Banner." And hearin' that ■oul •tirrin' music, and seein' that v ory ban- ner a wavin' and floatin' out, aa if all the blue sky and rainbows sense Noah's rainbow was cut up into glorious stripes, with the hull stars or heaven a shinin' on 'em — why. as my faculties come back to me, a seein' what I see — and hearin what I heerd, I thought of my 4 fathers, them 4 c4d fathers, whose weak hands had first unfiirl«d that banner to the anety bre«e, and think'es I, I would be willin' to change places with them 4 old men right here on the spot, to let 'em see in the bright sunshine of 1876, what they done in the cloudy darkness of 1776. I felt tht'se feelin'a for I presume most a minute. But nobody- howp^er stronp prin- ciple may soar up in 'em — can be wiilin' to die off when it haint a goin' to be any par- ticular benefit to anybody ; they can't feel so for any lengtli of time, especially in sucli a utrange anut heart clings to heart — I thought of Joaiali and without say- in' a word to him, or askiu' his consent, 1 I je»t reached out my arm and locked arms with him for the first time in goin' on thirJ teen years — not sense we had went to grand! father Smith's funeral, and walked in tb| procession. He begun to nestle round and wiggle arm to make me leggo, but I hung on tijiiJ and never minded his worrysome actiou!,| and finally he come out plain and says he ; ' ' What is the use (vi lockin' arms Sawiao | tha, it will make talk." Says I in a deep warniu' voice, " Do ynii keep still, or you will be a lost Josiah.'I Says I, firmly, " I think more of my panlj ner than I do of the speech of people, andil this endless host and countless multitudl swallers us down, and we are never hean'J from again in Jonesville or the world, wtj will be swallered down together Josiaiil Allen — a sweet thought to me." So we walked round, lockin' arms, and notl sensin' of it (as it were) a lookin' on the! grandeur and imposin' doin's one very side oil us. Presently, or not fur from that time-l for truly I could not keep a correct run oil the time of day, feelin' as I did — I toldj Josiah that we would take the cars and ridil round the Sentinal ; there was a little rail] road a purpose. So we crossed a square— | preen as green yrass could make it — and iill of a sud«len I felt Josiah give a shudder,] and heered his teeth chatter ; he was lookiu'j at that fearfully wonderful statule oil Washington crossiu' the Dele ware, Ohl dear ! what a situation George was in. Then he hunched me again, to look at ai fountain made they say to show off light! and water. Three handsome female girls ai holdin' up a bowl or rather a platter, big'[ ger than any platter I ever see, to catch thel water other femile wimmin' was a pourin'[ down into it ; and as many as ten globil lamps, a bein held up by beautiful arms,! I'll net the hull on it was forty feet high,! and I don't know but more. .Josiah woulJ| have staid there some time if I had endour- aged liim in it ; he said with a dreamy loo.;, that them girls was first-rate lookin', but he| should think their arms would ache a hold- in' up that platter and them big lamps, Sut says I, "Josiah time to spend a pi i*^^yin' Allen you haint nol cast-iron wimmen inl such a time as this, or admirin' of 'em ;" sol I hurned liim onwards to one of the sta- tions of the railroad, and we paid five ceutil apiece and they let us up into the cars, an4i oil, how lovely everything did look as wef rode onwards, drawed by as stiddy and smart a little cujun as ever I see hitched to I a car. How cool and wet the lake did lo( k on th«t hot day, with its great fountain spray iu' out the water in so many different sprays, as we passed between it a id tlie | -fk THE GRAND EXHIBITION. 8T in goin* on thiri \d went to grand Id walked in thJ |nd and wiggle !ii| it I hung on ti^i, rorrysoine aotiomj jin and says he ; (kin' arms Sainau] voice, '• Do ynJ 36 a lost Josiah.'l lore of my pardj of people, andil bitless multitu(l(| are never hearil lor the world, wjl together Josiail me." kin' arms, and noil ) a lookin' on thel I'a one very side ol from that time-j p a correct run oil as I did— I toldj the cars and ridij was a little rail! rossed a square-j make it— and all give a shndderj er ; he was lookiuf erful statule oil Deleware, Ohl !orge was in. gain, to look atil ;o show oflF light! Jme female girls a) ler a platter, big.l see, to catch tliei lin' was a pourin'f ny aa ten globil 7 beautiful arm«,j i forty feet high ' 'e. Josiah would | 3 if I had entiour- ;h a dreamy loo.i, ite lookir', but he ouldache a hold-! them big lamps. 'u you haint iioj b-iron wimmen in| lirin' of 'em ;" sol one of the ata- 'e paid five centjj ito the cars, ann ; did look as wa| as stiddy and I see hitched to] he lake did lor k j i great fountain I many different ween ii « id tiiel green, ifvcl grass all llowered off with gor- geous Hower beds. Anon, (or nearly that time) the cnjnn stopped before the Woman's Pavilion — a noble big buildin' that filled me with such proud and lofty emotions as I looked at it, that I don't know to what height I should have soared up to a gazin' on it, and thinkin' of the sect chat built it, if one of them veiy sect weighin' aboue three hundred and fifty, in gittin' out of the car, hadn't stepped on my foot and crnshed it so fearfully that in- stinctively my emotions was brought right down to the ends of my toes. In twa minutes more, or two and a-half, we went round the head of the dell, and though my foot still felt the effects of trampliu', I didn't ■enseit, as Ilookeddownthe shady paths, all a seemin' to lead to some handsome buildin' and then up at the Agricultural Buildin', big enough (seeminly) for old Agriculture and all his family all over the country to settle down and live in ; and then we went on a little further by a' cheese and butter house, and Brewers' Hall, And then the enjun turned round and we went back most to the Woman's Pavilion, and then sailed off down the avenue of State Buildiu's, by Machinery Hall (big enough for every machine in the world, and several of the planetary system's machines, as it were) clear the hull length of this buildin', back to the place we started from. Here Josiah would have got out, ruther than paid five cents more ; but 1 says to him, "Never before, Josiah Allen did five cents buy pleasure for me any where near the size and heft of this pleasure ;" and I added kindly but firmly, " I am goiu' round again Joaiah Allen. '' He argued some, but I stood firm, and round we went again, and then twice more which made four. I paid for the two last I'ides out of my own po:ket, and didn't begreech the money. No sooner would we go by one grand majestic buildin' ftad mebby a few smaller onea, but perfectly beautiful, than another one would rise up before us seemiu'lystill more majesticer than the last one. And we wouldn't no more than git our mouths well open with great astonishment and admiration and almost extacy, and our gpecks well sot on 'em. before another one would rise up before us, and we with our mouths not yet shet up from the la&t one. Oh dear I what a time we did have in our 2 minds. And seein' what 1 see wouldn't have been half so much, if I hadn't had such a immense quantity of emotions ; and every one of 'em the very biggest and noblest size thoy make. Eloquent, happy emotions of patriotism and grand pride in my Nation's honour, and majesty, and power, and gloiy. Oh ! what a time I did have a settin' there crowded in body but soarin' in soul ; the eye of my speck a calmly gazin' into the faces environin' of me round, and not seein' of em, (as it were) but seem' with my min 1 s eye the Spirit of '76, a i-isin' up through tht ghastly clouds of war, a misty shape that Hope could jest make out; a pale face, and shadowy hands with a little hand- ful of stars and stripes most slippin' out of 'em. And then to see that face growin' brighter and brighter, and more loftier and inspired , • to see both of them hands reached ifcaven- ward in triumph, holdin' firm clasped abovi' her head the stars and the stripes a fioatin oui over the hull land; to see them eyes full of glory and mystery bent forever onw.'uil -. and outwards, a lookin' on sunthin'lcouldu t see if I had both eyes to my specks; to ste that lofty brow crowned with the Star of Empire, and that majestic fcrm a lloatin' iu triumph from the Atlantic over the Ilock}- mountains, clear to the G(dden Gate, wliil<^ the radiance of that star, a burnin' on tli.i. almost inspired forward, sheds a light al:e;i 1 over the deep waters to some still grander future ; and then to see them deep myster- ious eyes of glory and prophecy a follerin' than light outward and onward, a seein' what I couldn't see,nor Josiah, nor anybody. I kep' a fcelin' nobler and nobler every minute, and finally I told Josiah of my own accord that I wanted to git out of that little contracted car, and walk afoot again. So we got out and roamed rcind, walkin' afout down the broad noble paths, by buildin '» some that looked you square in the face, some a steppin' off sideways,(aeeminly) some sot down fiat on the ground, tort o' solid and heavy as if they had sot down for good, and some standin' up on tip-toe (as it were) on the top of big high steps, as if they was a atartin' off somewhere a visitin'; and some of the curiousest shaped ones I ever see, with their ruffs pinted up, with flags a fljin' like like big darnin' needles threaded with. red. white, and blue; some sort o' leanin' over as if they was a meditatin'; some ruffs shaped like a sheep's head night-cap, with a cross standin' up out of the crown ; some long ruffs supportin' hidl rows of little ruffs like offsprings. Some Gabriel ends loftier and majesticer than you can think on ; some dretful kinder peaked up and polite lookin.* Some of the housen was plain and glossy on the sides, some criss-crossed off, soma up and down, some sideways. There was housen of every colour that ever was coloured, with winders of every shape that ever a pain was cut into, aU'l every sort of ornament that ever a house was trimmed off with. Why some of 'em seemed to be clear ornament, and "S ^iuii)| 88 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. I' '■« ^ :3r nothiD* else. There waa one ia particular, with a flight of ataira ou each aide and sume little slender pilluwa, that seemed to be clear trimmin'. It looked as light as if it was made of air and sunshine »nd ornament — which it was mostly. I says to Josiah: "That vvould be a beautiful home for summer, Josiah, but it would be too cold and windy in the winter seasop for me." A young woman, sort o' vacant Vookin', but dressed up slick spoke out to me, and says in a sort of a uppish way : " It haint a house, it is a musio stand." tBays I, "It haint a stand." Says she, "It is." But I wasn't goin' to ba brow-beat by her, 80 I says in a dignified tone : " Young woman I have seen furniture and housen stuff when you was in Nonentity, and I guess I know a stand when I see it. ** Says I, "I had two black sherry stands with curly maple drawers, with my settin' out, and I helped Josiah pick out a noble basa- wood stand for Tirzah Ann when she was married and I say that haint a stand, " Says she, "It ia ; don't you see the Muse ou top with the lyre." But I wouldn't look up, I had too much dignity, and I resented deeply her tryin' to lie to me so, and I jest looked at her keenly, and atys I : "I can see liars witiiout search- in' for 'em on the top of housen. " Says she, "I meant one of the muses ; one of Jupiter and Maemosyne's daughters, with her lyre." Says I, firmly, "I don't care whose daugh- ters they be. I don't think no more of a liar because they happen to have a likely father and mother. I abominate 'em, and always did." I looked very sharp at her, and she felt it; her face looked red as blood, and all swelled mp with mortification. But truly I had no uo time tc* waste on story tellers, or muse on their lies. Such sights as I see, such grand and imposin' grandeur, such beautiful and 4oarin' beauty ; I wondered whether Para- dise could nave looked much better, and more f oamin' ; and if it did, I wondered more and more how Eve (a distant relative of mine on my mother's aide) could have done what ahe did do, Aa we M'alked along a broad and shady path I says : " Never, never did I feel towards E Plu- ribus as I do to-day, Joaiah. When I think of that old map of Gi ;tndfather Smith's, and think how E Pluribus was huddled down three close to the shore, so insigniticant and skairt lookin' that it seemed as if it wouldn't take but a very few war-whoops and hatcheta to tumble him right off into the Atlantic to drowud himself. And then to think how the old man has got up and spread himself from ocian to ocian, to look round here &ni see this Sentinal a tellin' to all the world how he has prospered ;" says I, "never, never did I feel towards E Pluribus U, as I do to-day;" and says I in tones trembliu' with pride and thankfulness, ' 'how do you feel Josiah Allen T " Says he firmly, " I feel as hungry m a bear." I calmly took two cookies out of my pock- et and handed them to him, and kep' right on : "Never I never, did I realize the size, the grandeur, the loftinees, of E Pluribus as I do now ; how high and lofty he stands, Josiah Allen ; how forehanded he haa got." My lofty episodin' tone was rather loud, and a by stauder who had been a staudin' behind me uukeknowu to me spoke up and says he: "Yes, E Pluribus has got pretty well off, but what do you think Madam of' the rings he wears on his honoured fingers ? What do you think of hia chooain* Tweed for raiment ? What do you think of his wearin' such dirty clothin' aa he has wore of late, and so thin, too, so awfully thin ?" I declare for"t, I was most mad to think of anybody's tryin' to bring me down from the height I stood upon, by talkin' about store clothea and jewelry; but beiu' very polite in my demeanour, I answered him mildly, that I didn't bolieve in anybodys wearin' dirty clothes, and I never had no opinion of Tweed, nor none of that kind of cloth; it waa alazy, and liable to drop all to pieces, and I'd rather look further and pay more for cloth t^at was firmer and would stand more of a strain. " Yea," says he, " that is jest my opinion, and I think if E Pluribus wants to preserve hia health he must keep cleaner, and be a little more careful aoout the material he chooses to protect his honoured form; and in my opinion, he would look fur better if he didn't wear so many rings ou his venerable fingers; money rings; and wheat rings; and railroad rings. " He went on and named over a hull lot of jewellery, but I thought to myself that he waa makin' a little too free to talk with a perfect stranger, and I answered { him in pretty cold to 3s: 4i Says I, "I never approved of old men's wearin' jewelry;" and says I, ia still more frigid tones, " I never, even in ray young days, thought a man looked any the better for wearin' ear-ringa;" then I drew Josiah } onwards down a path that looked shady, and \ considerable still and quiet; but jeat aa we j moved on a man standin' in front of us spoke 1 up in a awe struck tone, and says he: ' " That gentleman that jest spoke to you | was a English Lord. " vi " Well," says I, " Lord or no lord, I don'*.' THE GRAND EXHiniTION. 89 lord, I don V i orer and above like his looka; he looks smart, but kinder mean." Just then all of n ludden, on happenin' to turn the eye of my speck onto a little bench under a shade tree,I see settin' there a friend I knew; I see a face that telescopes are bein' aimed at by the envious to spy out every little freckle, spot and wrinkle; (and where is there a c3mplexion however light, that can stand firm under a telescope, and the strong f;larin' li^ht of the present time, without sbowin' a wrinkle ?) It was the face of a man I respected, and almost loved, (a meet- in' house love, calm, yet firm as a settin' hen.) Without sayin a word, I jest drawd Josiah right in front of him. At the tirst glance he didn't know m^, but I jest made him a noble curchy, and says I: "Ulysses how do you ?" Says I, " The last time I see you I had the honour to rescue you from pain, and poetry, •nd Betsy Bobbet." Before I could say another word he took the cigar Uf, had in his lips with one hand •nd rea>:u';d out the other, and shook hands with Hie ahnost warmly. "Josiah Allen's wife, my preserver 1 I •m glad to meet you, " Then and there I introduced Josiah ; but I was sorry to see at that moment that the knowledgf- that he was a talkin' with the president of the United Statos, made him act bashful and meachin' ; but I was that in- spired and lifted up, that even my pardner's meachin' and almost foolish mean didn't seem to have no eflfect on me. I spoke right out and says I : — '• Ulysses, I never was so proud of my Nation before in my hull life as I be now, and never did I feel such feeliu's for my 4 fathers. What a undertakin' they under- took I What a thing is doue, and you are a standin' up on the results safe and happy, then you feel well, and at rest; but the curious time, aud the solemn t'me, is when the thing hnint done, and you are a settin' out to do it, with the risk and the uncer- tainty before you. When you are a step- pin* oflF in the darkness, and don't have no idee whether you are steppin' onsunthin', or on nothin'; no ide3 where you are comin' to next. I've got lest in our suUer several times when my candle went out, and it was a curious feelin', Ulysses, to grofo our way along in the dark, not knowin' whether we would come out all right to the bottom of the stairs, or come up sudden ag'inst the wall, or the pork barrel. I've fell flat a number of times, when I thought I was a steppin' higli, and doin' the best I could ; when yo" have reached the stairs and git hold of jm, and Josiah has opened the door and stands there with a caudle in his hand then you feel well and safe, but you can' forgit your curious feelin's when you was in the dark, a gropin' and a feelin' and not knowin' where you was a goin' to. Now, there was a timu when the colonies was a gropin their way along in the dark, not knowin' where the next step would take 'em to whether they woidd come out to the stairs that led up to Freedom and Liberty and happiness, or come up sudden and hard ag'inst the wall of defeat They was walkin' a slender, slippery pathway, and if they (tlipped off they knew black waters was under 'em, deep black waters, to drownd them and their posterity in. They fell a number of times, but they got up again no- bly; they held firm, and stepped liigh, and at last they groped their way to the stairs that led up to Liberty. And by God's help, by prayer and hard work, they mounted them stairs; and then another long flight of locty stairs was before 'em; and they rose them stairs, and have gone up on 'em, higher and higher, ever sense to national power, and honour, and glory. And now let 'em hold firm and examine the platform they are a standin' on. " Ulysses smoked his cigar with a very thoughtful and attentive smoke. And oh ! how sort o' solemn and martyr-like my tone was as I went on a talkin' to him, and a thiukin' to myself : Here I L^e, advisin' the Nation for its good — a performiu' my mis- sion, and advisin' the United States, E Pluribus Unim, through its chief Magistrate. I felt noble and curious, fearfully so, as I continued on: "Oh ! how awful it would be for 'em, Ulysses, a standin' up on the height they .stand up on, if political rottenness should crumble away any of the tall proud ladder that holds 'em up. Oh ! how it would hurt 'em to fall down flat, and lay on their backs with the ladder and platform on top of 'em. Let *em be careful, and let 'em be prayerful; let 'em examine every inch of the lumber that they are a standin' on; if there is a rotten spot in it, or a weak spot, or a suspicious spot, let 'em spurn it nobly; let 'em not ask wildly and blindly : ' Did this board grow in Republican forests, or did it grow in Democratic swamps ?' Let them throw that question down, and trample on it; and let' em ask this question only, and let 'em ask it in a firm, loud voice : '/« it a sound board?" " And let 'em jrit a straight plain .inswer i to it, before they set foot on it. Good land ! The idee of sliettin' j-our eyes blindly, and rnnniu' up a rascal because he happens to belong to your party. As for me, when I hold a rose, I don't care a cent whether it grew in a marble basin, or in the corner of a 90 JO.SIAH ALLEN'S WIFa ■>^: m rail feiico; I uuiy ;isk myself calmly, in it fi esli ami sweet ? If it ia, I triiaanre it liiglily ; if it is wormy and rotten at the ht-art, I apurn it, from me almost inli'^nnntly. " I advise this Nation as a friend and well- wisher, to worship the true God, and not make a God of party, and liow down to it. I advise it to choose men for leaders, who are true, and honest and God-fearin'. Men who are more careful of their character than of tlieir reputation ; more careful to have the National c:ipit(lcleau on the inside than to riower oli" the fr Jut gate with brass nails ; moie sot on tiie Nation's well-bein' and pros- perity, than on a big pocket-book, or a post- otBce and some minin and railroad shares for that brother-in-law; more anxious to have a white soul, than to whitewash their sepul- chrcj. If the Nation votes for bad men, how does it expect to have good laws ?" says I, almost wildly. *• Tell me, Ulysses, and tell me plainly; how can you expect to be led onw ard in a straight path by a blind man ? How can you obtain tiys from this- tles, or anything to carry from an ort ? " If this Nation trusts God, and prizes the quiet gift our 4 fachers died to leave us as it ort to be prized, who can paint the glory and splendor before it. It is the home of the oppressed, and (when its laws relatin' to winimen are changed slightly) the true and only land of liberty and freedom ; its virtues ort to be grand anil lofty and picturesque — on a big, noble New Worhl plan. It ort to be as rich in good- ness, as itii earth is rick in gold and silver and preciousnesa. Its dignity and calmness ort to be wide and level and even, like its boundless prairies ; and at the same time, it ort to have brilliant, unexpected streaks and flashes of dazzlin' generosities, jest like its flashin' water-falls. Its principles ort tj be as firm and solid and high toned and soarin' as the biggest mountain peaks o i the Yo Senaitry ; and these solid virtues ort to be trimmed and ornamented off with considera- tion for the rights of others, humanity, charity, courtesy and etcetery, and they ort io be jast as pinted and as ever-green as the big pines them firm old mountains have trimmed themselves off with. It should be jest as set on follerin' the right, and headed jest as strong that way, and be jest as deep and earnest in that flow as Niagara is in hern ; turniu' not to the right hand nor to the left, not multiplyin' words nor foolin', but jest keep on a mindin' its own business, and lioodin' right on. " And then I advised the Nation (through Ulysses, ) what to do in the great cause of Wimmen's Rights. I talked eloquent on that subject, and in olosin' up I drawed his mind back a few years to the time when a f^rcat it i^ in chih'ren." ! S:iy8 I, "'I'hink how thosn Woorly wnr- fares are powerful for all sorts of evils an. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) Z- 1.0 I.I 11.25 2£ |Z5 (^ 1^ 12.2 ■so Wteb iiy& U 11.6 V] V) 7 '/ M Photographic Sciences Corporation fV ^ leyr' Says h«*, "You will probably find him in the 'JBuro of Installation.'" "In a buro I" says I coldly. "Do you ^ s'pose youne man, that I am a goin' to 'orawlin' and creepin' round into buro draws 1 I Do you s'pose, at my age, and with my dig- nity I'm a goin' to foUer any man into a buro ? Gropin' round, tryin' to find tome- .body in a buro draw." ^ His face looked red — he see I wasn't to be 's, imposed upon — and he pinted out the room where we should be apt to tind him, he a goin' most there with us; and anon, or about that time, I found myself in the presence of Gen Hawley, a shakin' hands with him and a introducin Josiah. He was lookin' over a lot of papers, but he looked up dretful sort ' c' pleasant, and in that trvin and almost f carious time, I conldn't help thinkin' that Josiah was in the right on't about his looks; ,, for never, on a tower, or off on it, did I ever ^*"»ee a franker, nobler, honest^r. well meanin'- 1 er face than hisen. I never asked him I whether he was enjoyin' good health, or poor, jbut I says ripht out: "Joseph," (I knew his name was Joseph, and I thought he would take it more friendly in me if I called him that, and it would look more familiar in me i|l — as if my noble niisaion didn't make me feel i':' jfthnvfi bim. ^ 'MnsfinVi " gays I, "I have '. A. B^okei|8tun? Why," says I, "if the Mayflower I r> could float back again from the past, and l^them old Mayflowers should hear what this Nation is a doin', they would say they was l^glad they was dead." Joseph looked aa if he felt what I said eeply. But he went on in a sort of apolo- gisin' way, about his wantin' to treat our iui-eigu guests with courtesy- and some of 'them was accustomed to oeer and wine- Idriukin' to home, and wasn't in the habit I «f havin' Sjindayi and so 4th and so ith. "But," says I in tremUin' tonea: "when a rWother it weepin' over the nun of what waa T once hereon, and tracin' back his first love of strong drink to this place of beanty and enchantment, it wont remove her agony nor hisen, to think it was done to please the German, Dutch, or Tunicks, or even Tur- keys." Says I, "If the Nation gives her lawful consent and lets the Sentinal drink all the beer and wine it wants to in 1876, in 1976 she will reap the seed she is a plantin' now; and if you happen to see me then, Joseph, you tell me if I haint in the right . on't. Ajid then, not havin' no Sundays ! I | never in my hull life sea anything look so , shiftless — when we haint been out of Sun- days for 1800 years, to all flat out now and not hare none — it would look poor as poverty in us." He said it was handier for tome folkt{ they could come better Sund*yt than any other day. "Handier i** savs I, in a almost dry tone, "it would be awful handv for me sometimes, to do my week's washin' Sundays, or knit , atrippedmittent, or piece op bed quilts, but ; you don't catch me at it." Says I "Had we ' , ort to begreech one day out of the week ii \ Him who give us the hull of 'em !" And i says I. "I don't blame you a mite for Want- 1 in' to make our fureigu visitors feel to home, and use 'em well; but when I go a visitiu' I don't expect 'em to kill of their grandmoth- ers if 1 don't happen to like the looks of the old lady and haint used to grandmothers. Good land! how simple it would be in me to expect it," Says Joseph, "Josiah Allen's wife, you have presented the subject to me in a inter- , estin' and eloquent manner." Says he, "The other matter is out of my power to change, but as for Sundays, I will get 'em back again; I will have 'em." Oh, how earnest and good he lid look out of his eyes (a bright blueish-grey) as he said this, and how fearfully handsome. And I a thinkin' to myself — here I be advisin the Nation for her good, and she a takin' my ad- vice. I felt noble, verv. If I could have accomplished both of my undertakin's, I don't know but I should have felt too noble, but we all, like Mr. Paul, if we go to soarin' up too high, have to have a thorn in the flesh to prick us and keep us down in our place. So I bid Joseph a almost affectionate good-bye, and Josiah and me started home* wardAi DOIN* THE MAIir BVILBIH*. The next mornin' I told Josiah we would tackle the Main Buildin'; so we follered a lot of folks from our tarern— another spiked gate turned round with nt and let ut in, and —and what didn't that gate let ua uto t and Oh, go gate _. od land I Oh, dear tut I Ton maj t DOIN' THE MAIN BUILDIN*. think them woHs strong, and express a good deal, but they don't begin to explain to yon how I felt. Why a hull Dictionary of jest such words couldn't begin to tell my feelin's as I stood there a lookin' round on each side of me, down that broad, majestic, glitterin' street full of folks and fountains and glit- terin' stands, and statutes, and ornaments, with gorgeous shops on each side containin' the most beautiful beauty, the subliniest sublimity, and the very grandest grandeur the hull world affords. I advanced a little ways, and then, not sensin* it at all, J. stop- ped stun still and looked round me, Josiah Kinder drawin' me along— entirely unbe- known to me. Finally he spoke in a sort of a low, awe- stricken whisper: "Do come along, Samanthal" But I still stoodstun still, lookin' round me through the dyes of my specks (Josiah had got the other eye put in), and didn't sense what he was a sayin' to me till he spoke agam — hnnchin' me hard at the same time: "What is the matter Samantha ?" Says I, in low strange tones, "I am com* pletely dumbfounded Josiah Allen t" "So be I," says he, "but it won't do to be a blockin' up the path, and aotin' baulky; it will make talk. Less go along and do as the rest do." So we walked aloe g. And as my dumbfounder began to leave me, and I re- covered the use of my tongue, my first words "Josiah Allen, if I was as young as I once was, and knew I'd live to die of old age, I'd come right here to this village and live, and So through this buildin' and see the biggest eft of its contents. But at my age there haint no use of tryin' to see a half or even a quarter of 'em. " Says Josiah, "Yoa know Tirzah Ann wanted you to remember what you see here and describe it to hw." "Good land!" says I, "I might jest as wall undertake to divide off the sands of the sea, set 'em off into spans and call 'em by name, and describe the best pints of each on 'em;" says I almost wildly: "if I should undertake the job I should feel so curious that I shouldn't never git over it, like as not;" says I, "Josiah Allen, when anybody tackles a subject they want a place to take holt, or leggo; it makes 'em feel awful not to have neither." Why, if yvyu'd lift up your head a minute to kind o' rest your eyes, you would see enough to think on for a hull natural life. Havin' in all the emergencies of life found it necessary to stand firm, and walk even, and straight forred, I laid out to take the differ- ent countries on the north side and go through 'em, and then on the south side, go through 'em coolly and in trder, and vith calmness of spirit. But long before I hac gone through with the United States mi mind was in a state it had never been in fore through my hull life. I thought I ha^ felt promiscuous in days that was past anc gone, but I give up that I never knew the meanin' of the word before. Why, if theri had been a pain of glass put into my mind,| and anybody had looked into my feelin's through it, they would say, if they v,-&su'\ liars, that they see a eight long to be renier bered ; though if they had went to dividing off my feelin's aad settio' 'em in a row and] tellin' 'em to set still, they would truly havel had a tegus time. Why, I haint gut 'tm curbed m so's to k'^ep any order now when i| go to thinkin' about that Main Buildin'. Instead of travelin' right through io with! dignity, they are just as likely as anyway to[ begin right in the centre of that grand build- 1 in'; see that great round platform with bread steps a leadin' up to it on every side, and that railin' round it, a fenein' in the most entrancin' and heavenly music that ever a I earthly quire discoursed upon — music thatj would rest you When you was tired, and in» spire and elevate you intoarealpi of Pure De- light when you wasn't. And seein' way up« and up to the ruff,little railin's all ornanient- ed off, tear after tear of 'em, and folks in 'em | a lookin' down onto the endlebs crowd below and lions and eagles, and stars and stripes, I and the honoured forms and names of George-I Washington and B. Franklin up there, tc make us feel safe and good. And then all of I a sudden, entirely unbeknown to me, my I mind will work sometimes one way, some- times the other. Sometimes it will give aJ jump clear to the west end, and see oma-l ments, and glass cases, and shinin' countersl with wimmen standin' behind 'em, and tallf jars big enouch to preserve my Josiah hull I in, if it was the fashion to preserve pardners, ' And it won't think things out with any I order, or hardly decency ; sometimes th« next thing after a pulpit I'll think of a ^ dragon ; and then mebby I'll think of a ther* momiter with the qnicksiver a tryin' to get out at the top to walk out to cool itself, and the next thing a Laplander covered with fur, and a sled , it beats all. There is no use tellin' what I did see, but I could tell what I didn't see in half a minute. I can't think now of but one thing that I didn't see, and that is butternuts, though truly I might have seen bushels and not sensed 'em. Why, along at first, when I M'as a beginnin' my tower through the United States,! would be fearfully surprised at the awfully grand and beautiful things; but before noon I got so that I wasn't surprised at nothiu', and Josiah couldn't make me, though he hunched me several times, a tryin' to surprise me,snd .OSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. w^ f- ^i^*'-. I » couldn't. Why, I'd think I had come to an «nd of the grandeur and glory; it mtul be there couldn't be any more, and I'll git my Bpecks all ready to rest off a minute — when Id kinder grope round a little, and out I'd come again into another room full to over- flowin' of splendor and beauty. Why, once I come out into a room that had six high pillows in the form of palm trees with lous; •calloped leaves towerin' clear up to the ruff which was ornamented off with vines and flowers, and the counters was all covered with raised work, representin' the gatherin' of flowers and the e^Ctraction of their per- fumes, and two noble silver-plated gold-tip- ped fountains, sprayin' out sweetness ; why, no posy bed I ever smelled of could oompare witn that room. And then there was a br^mtiful pavilion all trimmed off with flowers -. and in the cen- tre, one of the likeliest lo >kiu' fountains I ever fZicZ see, with four (l:l)'ereut perfumes a jettin' out, and round e.ich spray a design ^ showin' what kind it was. And each one was more perfectly fragrant and beautiful than the other (as it were. ) I told Josiah I . wished Shakespeare Bobbet could just step ! in here ; I guessed he never would use pep- permint essence again on his handkerchief. , When he used to come to see Tirzah Ann, I he always would scent up high with pepper- I mint or cinnamon ; he smelt like a apo- I thecary. i But I kep' a lookin' round, and oh, such sights of pianos and organs as I did see ; it beat alL Why, there was one parlour or- gan with twenty-eight stop* to it. Sayi I, "Josiah Allen what do you think of that ?" Josiah had seen so much he was a gittin' orois, and he said he had heerd folks play when he would have been thankful to have had one stop to it, if they had used it. And such iron and steel works; why we see a rod f over a mile long. And ther^, was one lock that they said had four billioh change* to it Josiah told me he had jest as good a mind M he ever had to eat, to stop and count 'em, for he didn't believe there was three billions in it if there waa two. And there was safes, large enough to lock up my Josiah in — who is indeed by far the moat valuable ornament I poM O Ss an teeth, and artificial eves. There was one big black eye, that Josiah said he would buy if he was able. Says I, *'What under the ran would yon do with it If osiah Allen t" "Oh," says he, " it might come handy sometime, 1 am liable to accidents." "Whv," saya I, "your eyes are •■ blneaa Indigo.'^ "Well," says he, "I always liked black •yes, and that is such a awful smart lookin' eye, it would give anybody such a knowin* I told him I guessed he would look knowin' ; I guessed he would know it when he went round with one black eye, and one blue one. I didn't encourage thd idee. He looked wishful at it to the last, and he has said gense, that that was the smartest lookiu' eye he ever seen in his life. And such sights and sights of glass ware, and crystal fountains. I told Josiah that I had sung about 'em all my life, but never did I expect to see one. But I did, here it was ; handsomer than song could sing. About three feet from the floor was a basm twelve feet wide, and round this, seventy-two cut glass vases for flowers, and four piUows hav m' twelve lights and four more for flowers. ' In the centre column half way up, was the most beautiful crystal ornaments and doiu's you ever see, with burnin' jets inside ; and over idl was a dome held up bv three columns, topped off with spread *gles. The age of this dome was all trimmed off with red, white, and blue, and under it was the (God- dess of Liberty standin' on the globe. There , is between three and four thousand pieces uf , glass in this fountain — so they told me — and * they said it was the nicest one in the world ; and I told 'em I didn't dispute it, for I had travelled round a good deal, and I never see the beat on't. And here it was that I got agitated and frightened ; skairt most to death, and I wont deny it. I way a walkin' along, cool as a cluster cucumber at sunrise, and as calm, when I looked up and thinks'es I, there comea a woman that looks jest like the Smiths ; thinks'es I, she looks jest like me, only not quite so good looK.in'. I stoppea completely dumfouuded, and she stopped also in dumfounder. I looked her in the face with a almost wild mean, and ^er mean looked almost wild. I give ri^ht up that she vfa$ a Smith, and then realisin'woatsortof a tower it was that I was on, I knew it was my place to make the first move towards gittin' acquainted with her ; so I made her a low curchy, and she made me a low curchy. And then I walked right np and held out my hand to her, and ■he wuked right up to me a holdin' out her hand. Says I, "Who yon be mom, I dont know, but I believe my soul you are one of the Smiths, for you look as near like me as two peas, only you are a little fleshier than I be, and not quite as light complected." But what the next move would have been I don't know if all of a sudden right over her shoulder I hadn't seen the face of my Josiah, and I knew he was the other side of me. Cold shivers ran over mv back, when I felt a hand a seizin* and a holdin' of ma back, and the voice of Josiah a sayin': DOIN' THE MAIN BUILDIN'. 06 " What under the heavens Samautha, are yon a tryin' to walk through that iookin'* glass for?" I see then where I was, and says I in faint 'axents : " Josiah Allen, I should have been throufj^h it in a minute more ;" and I should. I told him I was most glad it took place, for it truly seemed as if he renewed his age, it S leased him so. But he stopped it pretty sud- en, for he had a little incident happen to him that made him prettv shy about pokin' fun at me. The way on t was, he had been sick all one night, and the next day he got so tired out that he said he guessed he would git into one of those roUin' chairs a ftw ma> ments to rest him. He whispered to me that he shouldn't ride out but seven cents and a half, which would be only half a quarter of an hour. I whispered lack to him that it would look small in him, and if I was in hi$ place, I would ride a quarter of an hour, or not try to ride at all. But he whispered back to me, firm as brass, that seven cents worth and a half was all he should ride and that was more than he could afford. And kuowin' well he was cloee, but honest, I didn't argue no more. He didn't tell the man, for fear he wouiUn't want the bother for so little while. That was the last I saw of Josiah Allen for five hours and a half. Ue promised to meet me at a certain time and place, and I wasskairt nearly to death. And I don't know as I should ever have seen him again, if I hadn't happened to meet him face to face. There he was a layin' back fast asleep, and that man had been a rollin' him round for five hours and a half by the clock, through the different worlds, and he uot sensin' a thing — sleepin' jest as sweet in front of them horrible antediluvian ^ monsters, and the crockydiles, as before calico and bobiuet lace — treatin' 'em all alike, snoriu' at the hull of 'em. I s'pose he had dropped to sleep the minute I left him, not sleepin' any the ni^ht before. I catched right holt of his arm, and says to the man : "Stop in* stantly 1 it is my pardner that to* are a rollin' on ; it is a sleepin' Josiah."^ I declare, the man looked almost «a fotriish as Josiah, only Josiah's mean had agtmy on it; and as he paid out the 8 dollars and 30 cents, hia sithes were more like groans than eoihmon sithes. I haint heerd a word tense from Josiah Allen about my walkin' threvgh a Iookin' glass il^ sea>di erf afimith. We went into Mexico and found it WM a ■oble looldn' Nation, considerable on the eastle inlan ; tHmaoted oiF haadsome at the top with MT«a] open places IfiUed with lIlatntMi, and large minerals, and tome of ^tke iHtadatOM* planta I erer see. It ed to have everythiag it needed to git aloiv^ with. But what was as interestiu' to me as aii\ • thing, was a great stone, weighin' aboiu four thousand pounds, that fell right down out of some other world, landin on ours, down in Mexico. Oh ! what emotions I had in Iookin' at it and thinkin' if I only kiiew- what that stun knew, I should be a sight to behold. But I knew the stun wouldn't speak up and tell me anything about the world he had come from, or how he ha,p- pened to start off alone, or wnether he liked our world better than he did hisen, ur anything, if I stood there till the next Sentinal. And then we went in under a lofty arch, with curtains, and tassels, and banners, and lions, and crosses, and so 4th into Nether- lands. And right there in the vestibule was pictures and drawin's and models ; showin' plain what awful hard work they have to keep their land from drowndin' ; dretful interestin' it must be to inebriate drunkards there, seein' what strong barriers they have raited up between them and the water. And we see a little 1 trick house, with part of the thatched roof left open so you could see right down into the house ; and a eatin' house with bttle folks settiu' to the table, and some East India curiosities as curious as any curiosities I ever laid eyes on. And then we travelled over into Brazil. I always knew Biazil was a noble Nation, but never, never did I imagine it was trimmed and ornamented off to such an extent. We went right in boldly under the ornaments and trimmings, and tmly we did see enough to pay us for our trouble ; there was flowers ' made out of the most brilliant feathers you^ ever see. Why I had s'posed old Hail thel Dav's feathers was shinin' ; I've seen 'em look perfectly gorgeous to me when he was stanoin' round on one foot at the backf door a orowin' and the sun was a shinin'' down on him ; but good land ! what was his feathers compared to these. And then we tee the big topaz, brilliant and clear as well- water almost, snnthin' the size of a goose egg — s'posen the, the ffoote, laid almost square eggt. And oh I uf I only had a goose that laid sneh eggs, how well off I could git in one season if she done well ; it is worth 150,000 dollara. And we see a sun dial fixed to tiie sun fil^ off a oaanon every day at noon. Josiah said he neter see the beat on't, to think the sun should be Dplliu'j to^o such work for anybody--hire out to do day's wotkt (as it were.) But I eays, "if' tMybodff oould git him at it, it is Mr. Pedro;" lays I. "it don't surprise me, that withoc. wmMkf&Kf iuu aboai it, or boattio » atts^ 11 r n M JSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. I' ■ -., 11 < > I ;>^ s 1 » he has got the sun so it will fire off cannons for him~ or anything; it is jest like him." Says I, "Some monarchs are obleeged to wear a crown instead of a hat, and hold out a septer in their hand to make anybody mistrust they are kings. But it haint so with him ; hit royalty haint pat on the outside, it is iuher- ient in him, and works out from his heart and soul. " I ahould have went on about him consid- erable more — I have such a deep honour and respect, and luch a strong (meetin' house) regard for him — but Josiah looked so rest- less and worrysome. He haint a jealous hair on the top of his'hebd, (nor a hair of any description) but he wor-shipa me bo, I s'poBC it ganls him to see me praise any other man ; 10 we moved on and made a short tower into Belgiam, and see their laces— I d(m't believe there is such splendid laces in the hull world as I see there, and they call 'em Brussels laces ; mebby they be, but I don't believe it ; anyway they haint made out of hog's bnissels ; that I know; and I told Josiah I knew it, and he ■aid he did, or else they was different from any brussels he ever see — why you never see anything so perfectly fine and beautiful ; the ▼ery nicest bobinet Uce that Mother Smith ever made into a cap border couldn't cum- Sare with the poorest of it. Jest one lace ress cost 7,000 dollars, and I wouldn't have made it for a cent less for anybody, even if they had found their own brussels. But where under the sun they ever found such brussels is a mystery to me, and to Josiah — we have talked it over lots of times sense. And then we made a short oall in Switzer- land. She wasn't so big or trimmed off inside so much as some of the Natione. Her show oases was qnaker colour, made np plain, but they looked well. And oh I such watches as i did see there, and snch music boxes 1 There was one elegant lookin' one that played thirty-six tunes, and Josiah said he'd love to buy it, for he believed if he practiced enough, he could play on it drst-rate. That man has a awful good opinion ot himself — by spells ; says he : "Don't yon believe Sa- mantha, that by tendm' right to it, and fpv- in' my mind ap to it, I could learn T " Says I dryly, "If yon knew eoongh to play well on a fannin' mill, or * grindstnn yoa probably oould." And then we went b«ck into the Main Aisle, that broad and elitterin' highway, full of foUu — ^for ai big a orowd as yon would gee through all we Nations, yon wooM always find a bigger one here, of Yankees, Turkeys, OermanVDnteh, Tunioks, Jappaned men and Cliinee, of >U sizes, uid every tex— and sot ont for Franca And truly if I hadn't gire up beia' ■nrpriaad loag before, this place would have been the ruin- ation of me. Why, if it hadn't been for a little episode that took place there, I don't know but I should be a wanderin' round there now. It beats all how the Frencli race can look right down through even the useful, and see beauty in it, or make it. You could see everything there, from a neck- lace worth forty thousand dollars, to a clay pipe ; from a little gold bird that sings every half hour by the wiitch, up to Virgins, and sweet fa< 11 what was there. I couldn't do it if I trlked my tongue off, so I wont try. I was a settin' down on the centre of the room on as soft a lounge as I ever sot on, a lookin' at the perfectly gorgeous and won- derful display of silks and velvets a display- in' themselves to me, when a good lookin' feller and girl come in, and sot down by me, and they was a talkin' over the>things they had seen, and I a mindin' my own business, when the young feUer spoke up, and says he to the girl : " Have yon see John Rosers gain' to the Parson, to git git married t " No," says she. " Well," says he, "you ort la" I turned right round a give that young feller a look witherin' enough to wither him, and says I : "That is a pretty story to tell to wimmen, that you have seen John Rogers goin' to the Parson to git married." " I did see it," says ue, jest as brazen as a brass candlestick. Says I firmly, "you didn't." Says he, "I did."'' Says I with dignity, "Don't tell me that again, or I'll know the reason why. You never see John Sogers a goin' to git married. John was burnt up years ago ; and if he wasn't, do you think be was a man to go and try to git married again when he had a wife and nine children, and one at the breast T Never 1 John Rogers'es morals was sound X I guess it will take more than yon to break *«m down at this late day." The young feller's face looked awful red and he glanced up at the young woman and tried to turn it off in a laugh and says he : "This is John Bogers Jr., old John Rog> •n^as boy." '* Why, how you talk I "says I in agitated tones t- " Which one is It { is it one at the breast?" " No I " sajrs he. "It ia the serenth boy, named after his father. I am well acquaint- ed with him," says he tafcin' y V i ;l^^^;1 They ort to be Willi n* to live, which is a great deal harder sometimes. Bui truly, I was drawed into this episodin' by comparin' yonr honored father in mj' mind with these I have named. If they won't give 25 cents for their religion, what would they say if they had to ^ive what your father gave. His principle auff. I guess she she made » keerd anybodj Irtuous in my i^ill git thingi should my> il what I said Co look at th« |feel on such in- id cranes, and new 'em like than my Jo* as dear drag* ow of wimmen oarryin' arose ead, and np the clothes. And flock of birds dragon on it, iwoopin' down le most lovely . again as my n 'em; and scar- idy complected ill acquainted I 9siah I almost of 'em to take Japan by, for lots of things, im inleamin'ii tther Nations of well-meanin'er ed men (though ant to s^e; they I'em answerin' lite, impudent id everything, in' their gentle in' fractious or Josiah to take I Allen, you im of 'eoi with nd Japan are rness has « im* that China's y the imagina* must be of a Uy realize, h I guessed we andlie said he I might not* he WM so near starved. But be badu't hardly Jot into that country when all of a sudden e laid holt of me and pulled me out one aide, and says he: "Lookout my dMT SMsantha, oryonll git hurt." I looked up and I was moat startled for a minute myself, for a man stood here holdin' a great stun over his head, and tonkin down as if he was a goin' to throw it right at our heads. But in a minate I says, "It is a statute, Josiah, it won't hart us." And he cooled down; he hadn't called me " dear Samnntha" before, for over fourteen years; but truly danger *b a blister that draws lore to the outside. He almost wor- ships me, but like other married men, he conceals it a good deal of the time. His affec- tionate mean had softened up my own focl- in's too, so I didn't 'stay to Denmark only jest long enough to see some very beautiful crockery, and a large collection of exceed- ingly curious curiosities from Greenland, and then Josiah and me, (at bi.^ request) went and took a Innoh at • little tavern right in the buildin'. I felt kinder disappointed at not stayin' DO longer in Denmark, on account of Hamlet (he come from that oeiehbourhood, you know) and I always did think so much of him, and Ophelia ton. I have often heerd Thomas J. read about em'; and I've alwayn thought if they had been let alone they would have done well, for she seemed to have ♦lone well, for she seemed to think every thing of him, and he of her. I got to think- in' over her affection and her disappointment while I was eatin' my dinner. Thinks'es I, love is too sacred and holy a emotion, and ort to be treated greatly and reverently i bat there haint a single emotion in the hull line of emotions that is so meddled and fooled round with as this is. Folks that have it seem to be ashamed of it, and other folks make fan of 'em for harin' it. Curious I you haint ashamed of havin' gratitude, or pity, -or generosity iu yoar heart, and other folks -don't make light of you for bavin' 'em; but when it comes to love, which is the holiest of «U, the thadder ci the Iu6nite, the sjrmbol of all that is hearenly and glorious, the bright- est reflection we catch on earth of the Divine NaturQi folks giggle at it and snicker; cari- ous, very! But I always felt sorry for Ophe- lia and Hamlei* Then we sot sail for Egypt. There was a heavy lookin' wall and gateway, and on each -side was a big square colamn, or pillow, though some tippin'. Over the gate was the flaffs of Egypt and the United States, green and 3^IIer, red, white, and blue, minglin' togwtiier j«t M friendly as the green earth, and fid Mid yaller sunsets, with stars a nhiiiin' throuffh 'cm ever dld^ add MMneof thir curiousest loolcin' writin' I ever did see. (hi eaol) side, amongst lots of other ornament), and things, was two as ancient lookin' females as I ever see on a bast, and these wor«Ie printed oat in good noble writin': "The old* est people in the world sends its oiorBiBg greeting to the yoangest Nation. " As we went in, two Egyptians met its dressed in their national coeiume, as loot? and baggy as a meal bag, and Jodah looked admirin ly at 'em, and la^ he, "How re- markable they do hold their age, Samantba: they don't look much older than / do;" and says he in a still more respectable tone. they mast be pretty nigh onto two faon- dred." "What makes yoa think so, Jeeidi ADen ? ' says I. '• Why," says be, "you see it wrote out there ' the oldest people m the world', and we have 'em here over a hundred." Savb i, "Josiah Allen if it wasn't form» how little your tower would elevate yon, and inform you;" says I, " it don't mean them, it means most probable tbr-m old wimmen ar> there on a bust, or mebby it mean* old spynx — the old lady who takes care of the pyra- mids—you know she is old as hills, and older than lots of 'em." Says he "I wonder if that is her band- writin' clear up over the gate-way! I should think she was old by that; I should jest .is lives go down to the' creek and reaokii ' man for one that was twenty-two hundred and fifty years old, and was plagned so mncb, and went through with what he did. Ai>d in another room of the Court we see the mas that built one of the pyramids, Cephenea by name — a man six thousand years old. Good land I As I looked on him, I felt as if Joeiah and me was two of the very smallest drops in a mighty ocian that hadn't no beKinin' nor no endin', no bottom and no shore. I felt almost choked up, aad ezoeedinly carious. From Egypt we went straight into Tnrkev. and there we saw lots of oeeutifal Mriiclm them Turkeys had made Ml of olive-wood, and etcetery. We saw pipes with long stems for smokin* water; Josiah ssad he'd love ro try one of 'em, and I believe he would if it hadn't been for me. There was a Turkish Bazzar on the grounds where they go to smoke em'-, but 1 told him almost coldly, that he had better go home end smoke the penstock that he draws watsr witk frmn the canal: and he give up the idesk And there was handsome silks of all ooloors; there was one pieee of a aoit grey colour, that I told Jetiah I woald bv* dearly 102 JOSIAH ALLEN'S 5!»-lv V 1! 1 ^1 :ii" was sayin' this, a me: " Splendid to have a dreu of it, and after I nt\(\ that, that man hurried me along so 1 didn'- hardly aee anything— I «'po«e he wanted to git the idee oiit of ihy ht-ad, fur he never seemed easy a minute till he got me out of Turkoy back into Portu^;al. I never felt in- timately acquainted with thia Nation— I knew our uort come f 'om Portugal, and that tlifty raisea conaiilerable cork — but I found miiuy haudaome tilings there; splendid paper of all sorts, writin' paper, and elegant bound books, and some nriutin* on satin, invitations to bull tiKhts ana other choice amusements. I told Josiah I should think they would have to be printed on satin to git auybodjj started to em. And jeHt as I wa good-lookin' woman says to stationery, isn't it t" I see she had made it blander and it was my duty to set her right, so says I to her. " I don't know as it ia any more stationery than paper and books commonly is; they are always stationery unless you move 'em lound." She looked at me 3ort o' wonderin' and then lauglieu .aid kep' her head up as high as ever. It Iteats all what mistakea some folks will liiakeiind not act mortitied a mitt; but if J sUiiul.l make such bluudtirs I should ftal cheari a-> dirt. Then wc took a sliort tower into .Spain, and we found she had trimmed and (n-namented hei-self beautiful. You could stand for hours a lookiu' at tlie front of this Nation painted to look like coloured marble, and all figured off so em- blematical aad curious. And then we start- ed for Russia, and we see that if any Nation bad douc well, and put her best foct forred, liie had. Such furs as I see there I don't lever uxpect to see again. Such awful sights of silka and velvets, and embroideries in gold! There was one man all embroidered in aold that looked splendid, with a crown of the most brUliant jewels on his head, and another shinin' one on the table by the side of him; and all round in a border was as many as twenty other gold saints; they looked rich. And then there was all sorts of linen and oottou goods and uinberells and everything. And in Austria and Hungary wc see beau- tiful bent wood furniture of all kinds, and the awfulest sight of kidgloves, andchromos, and oil pnintin's, and musical instruments, and the rausc beautiful Bohemian glass any- body over did see. And it was there we see the biuigest (>»al in the world; it is worth 2o 'V)i»>i dollars, and the man told me it Wcigaed Six hundred and two carats. l'"iipoke ri^'hi ii|i and says I, "They must be awful small carmU thtm. " We tUdat argtte 'vfUh 1dm, but we didn't believe it, Jusiah nor i didu t, for if the car- rots was any size at all, six hundred of 'em M^nld have made more'n two bushels. But it was a noble lookiii' stun, and a crowd of wimmeu was round it nil the while. I de- clare I admired some of their jewidry fear- fully; Josiah see that I did, and with a anxi. nuB mean he harried me off into Germany. .And here we see everything, etcetery and 8c 4th; makin' one of the niceat displays to tli< Sentinal — and jewelry, and gold and silver ware, of all sorts. Tjiere was one case con- taiinn' velvet that was made of glass and velvet, the tinest case in the hull Mair Buildin*. But now, haTin' gone the romnds of the Na- tions, andtreatin' 'email alike,so they coaldn't one of 'em, call me uppish or proud spirited; politness bein' attended to and nobody slighted, I told Josiah that I must git oot in thtt open air aad rest cK the eyes of my spectacles a little, or J. didn't know what the result would be. My head was in a fearful state; I had seen so much, it seemed as if I couldn't see nothin', and at the same time I could see everything, right where it wasn't, or anywhere. Why, when I would look up in my Josiah's face, it seemed as if I could .see right on his forward, dragons, and pnl- pits, and on that peaceable bald head I could see (as it were) crockydiles, and storks, and handkerchief pins ; my meau must have looked bad. So we hurried out through the crowd, and went out under a venerable tree by the side of the path, and sot down; and anon, or about that time, my spectacles be- gun to be rested off, and I see clearer, and realized things one at a time, more than I /lad realized 'em. When I come out of that Main Buildin', everything was mixed up to- gether to a decree that was almost alarmin'. But the minute Josiah Allen got rested, he was all rousted up with a new idee. He had catched a sight that day of a Photograph Gallery, and nothin' to do but he must go and have his picture took. Says he, "I will go and be took Samantha; suuthin' may happen that we shall have to go home sudden, and I do want to be took be- fore I leave the village, for I shant probable look so dressy, and have so pretty a expres- sion onto me for some time; I shall make a crackin' good lookin picture, Samantha. " That man is vain ! out I didn't thsow it in his face, I only told him almost coldly to be took if he wanted to. Says be, "If you will, we will be holt of hands, or looiin' arms, or any way." But I told him firmly, I was on a tower of Right, aL>l though I expected and lotted on sunerin' and bein' persecuted 08 a F'.A., I would not suffer as the foolish ones uo ; I would not, for nothin', go iijto a johldrteded worse than makln' soap, or bilein' gap. ' Bot, mmmmmmmimmaak DOIN' THE MAIN BUILDIN'. 101 I'lred of 'em Inahels. But |(1 a crowd of t'hile. I (le- lewclry fear- witli a anxi- Ito Germany. Joetery aud oc laplayB to tin J>ld aud silver |)ne case con- |of glass aud hull Maip ids of the Na- theyconldn't oud spirited; and nobody Mt git out in eyes of my low what the in a fearful 9emed as if I same time I ire it wasn't, ould look up if I could >nb, and pnl- head I could storks, and u must have t through the irenerable tree i down; aud spectacles be- e clearer, und , more than I le out of that mixed up to- noBt alarmin'. en got rested, !W idee. Ho a Photograph at he must go ok Samantha; lall have to go o be took be- lant probable (tty a expres- shall make a ^mantha. " I't thsow it in * coldly to be le, "If von is, or lookin' >n a tower of ad lotted on » P.. A., I ones ao ; I joHIdrtfaded n'iap. Bvt, I says I, " I will set here and wait for you. " So he set off to be took, fcclin' awful neat, land savin' to me the last thiu);, what a icraekiu handsome picture be wab a-goin' to make. That man is as vain as a pea-hen I I eot right thi>re peaceful and coUBiderable com- I posel, though it give me solemn feelia's to watch the crowd a ])asHiu' by all the time, no two alike, always a movin' on, never a stop- pin*. They seemed like the waves of a river that was surgio' right on towards a sea whose name was Eternity; oh, how they kep' a movin' on ! Liberals from Liberia, Tuaicks from Tunis, Sandwiches from Sandwich, OrancfB from Orange, Turkeys from Turkey, and roles from R>land; white men, and yeller men, and black men, and red men, aud brown men. Oh ! what a sight it was to see the endless wave aud rush a settiu' on aud on forever. And as I see 'em — though in body I was a settin' their — I too was one of 'em a being carried on, andfloatiu' towar^Is the ocian. 1 seemed to bo kinder dizzy, "a ridiu','' as children say when they set on a bridge and watch the current sweep by ; I was one of the waves, and the river was a runuin' swrft. I hadn't allegoried (to myself) more than two or three minutes, proliable, when I see a form I knew, Joliathun Beans'es ex«wife by uame, and a vegetable widow by trade, I rose right up and catched holt of her pin back, and says I, "Jonathan Beans'es ex- wife, how do you do ?" she turned round. "Why Josiah Allen's wife I is it you t" And we shook hands, and kissed each other, (though I don't make a practice of it. ) And then I told her that Josiah had gone to be took, and I was a waitiu' for him, aud she sot right down by me, cousin Bean did. Per- haps you will notice that I say Bean, and not ex-Bean, as formally; she is livin' with her husband again, so slie told me the first thing. Bean has come back, and they are keepin' a hen dairy in Rhode Island; I asked her if the hens didn't bother her a fallin' off in the water, and she said they didn't ; and I told her you couldn't always tell by the looke of a map how things really was. Then we talked a good deal about the Sentiual, and then I enquired about Miss Astor and the boys; and then we spoke about Alexan- der, and I told her I felt awful cut down when I heerd he was gone ; and then we talked about Alexanders Widder, and we felt slad to think that it wasn't likely she wonld ever put to it for things to eat and wear, and had • oomfortable house to live in, "most a new one," Miss Bean said. I told her I was glad she had a house that wonldn'twant shinglin' right away; it is hard cnou^di to be a Widder without bein' leaked ilown on. And then we meandered off iutoother friends in the village, aud I a^ked if Victoria had been outtin' up and iifhavin' ? She said, she guebbud my advice had quieted her d(>wu. She hadu't heerd of hei actin' for quite a ti|)«ll. 1 felt nuble when she told me this, but her very next words made me feel different ; 1 didn't feel so cood as I did. Says she : "Beecher has been talked about some sense you was np to the village.'' Says I in a almost dry tone, "I have heerd his name mentioned once or twice durin' the past few years." "I oelieves he is guilty," says she vl h a radiaut look. "Well / don't," says I warmly. "I don't believe it no more than I believe my pardner is a druinedary." And says I firmly, "I will come out still plainer; I don't believe it no more tlian I believe Jusiah Allen is an os- tridgc." "Oh !" says she with a still more delighted and lively mean, "I never see anybody talked about quite so bad as he has been ; and that shows that meetiu' house folks haint no bet* ter thau conunon iolks. " Miss Beau ia a Nothingarian in good staudiu', and loves to see meetin' house folks brought low ; lovea it dearly. "Jest think," says aiie with that proud and raptuous look on her, "how high he haa stood up ou a meetin' house, aud how he has been run dowuit." But I interrupted of her by askin' her this conundrum, in about as cold a tone as they make. "Miss Bean, which would be apt to have the biggest, blackest shadder at its feet ; • muUien stalk, or a meetin' iiouse?" "Why, a meetin' house, of course," says ■he. "Well," says I, "that is reasonable. I didn't kuow," says I in a very dry tone, "but you would expect to see a shadder as black aud heavy as a meetin' houau shadder, a taggin' along after a mullien stalk. But it wouidu't be reasonable ; the cloud of detrac- tion and envy and malice that follers on at the feet of folks is generally proportioned to their size." Says I, "Jonathan Beans'es wife, you are not a runnin' at Henry, you are runnin' at Religion." Says I, "If Christianity can stand ag'iust persecution and nmrtydom, if it is stronger than death aud tito grave, do you expose Johatban Beans'es wife, and the hull Nothingarian church is a t^oin' to over- throw it !" Says I, "Eighteen hundred years ago the anbelievera tbtightthey had crucified it^ 10* JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. "It '*t :# buried it ap, and rolled a stun ag'instit; bu^ it WM mightier than death and the grave, it roie up triumphant. And the fires of mar- tyrdom in which they have tried to destroy it ever sense, has only burnt away the chaff ; the pure seed has remained, and the wares of persecution in which time and again they have tried to drown it, has only scattered the seed abroad throughout the world, wafted it to kinder shores: friendlier soils, in which it has multiplied and blossomed a thousand fold more gloriously. And," says If "the wave of infidelity that is sweepin' over it now, will only sweep away the dross, the old dry chaff of dead creeds, supersiti- tions, and bigotry — it can no more harm religion than you can scatter dust on the floor of heaven." "Well," says she, "Sam Snyder'ses wife, she that was Cassandra Bean is a waitin' for me and I must go." She looked uneasy, and she told me she would see me the next day, and started off. And I sot there and waited for Josiah, and when he did come I see he was wore almost completely out. and his mean looked as bad as I ever see a mean look. He didn't seem to want to talk, but I would make him tell the particulars, and finally he up and told 'em. He said he got into the wrong buildin' — one that had pic- tures to skow off, but didn't take 'em. But a clever lookin' feller showed him the way to 50 to be took, wapr acrost Agricultural LVenue, and he got into the wrong house there^ got into Judges Hall, riG;ht where they was a judgin'. He said he never felt so mortified in his life. "I should think as much," says L But he looked still more deprested, and says he: "Worse ii to come, Samantha." I see by his looks he had had a tegus time. I see he WM eompletely unstrung, and it was my duty to try to strine him up with kindness and nmpathy, ana so says I almost tenderly, ''Tell jronr pardner all about it Josiah." "I hate too," says he. Says I firmly, "Joaiah, you must." "Well," says he. "I got into another wrong room, where some wimmen was a kinder dressin' 'em." "Josiah Allen !" says I sternly, "Well, who under the sun would have been a lookin' out for any such thing. Who would think," says he with a deep mjured air, "that wijimen would go a prancin' o£F so fur frosfc, home before they got their dresses hoiked up, or anything." I knew there was a room there a purpose lor ladies to go and fix up in, and says more vUdly — fer his mean mostskairt me — "I per- sume there was no harm done Josiah, only most probable yon skairt 'em." "Skairt 'emr says he. "I should think so; they yelled like Innys." "And what did you say f ' says L "I told 'em" says he, "I wanted to be took.'» "And what did they say T" says I, for he would keep a stoppin' in the particulars. "Oh I they yelled louder than ever; they seemed to think I was crazy, and a police- man come — " "And what did yon tell him ?** says L "What could I tell him f ' he snapped out. Of course I told him I wanted to be took,axid he said he'd take me, and he did," says Josiah sadly. Again the particulars stopped, and again I ur^ed him. And says he: "Comin' out of tnat room, and down the steps so awful sudden, got my head kinder turned round, and instead of goin' into the picture room, I went the wrong way and got into the Japan housa." "Did you make any move towards gittin' me a Japaned dust panT" I interrupted of him. "No, I didn't ! 1 should think I see trouble enough, without luggin' round dust pans. I told them I wanted to be took, and they didn't understand me, and I come right out and offered a boy I see there, five cents to git me headed right, and he did it." Josiah stopped here, as if he wasn't goin to speak another word. But says I " Josijah Allen, was you took ? " " Yes I «;«»," he snapped out. " Lemme see the picture, says I firmly. He hung off, and tried to talk with me on religion, but I stood firm, and says I, "You was a lottin' on a handsome picture, Josiah AUen." • • Throw that in my face, will you t What if I was f " I'd like to know if you expect a man to have a handsome dressy expression after he has traipsed all over Pennsylvany, and been lost, and mortified, and helped round by policemen, and yelled at by wim- men. And the man told me after I sot down to look at a certain knot-hole, and git up a brilliant happy expression, and git inspired and animated. I did try to, but the man told me such a gloomy expression wouldn't do nohow, and says he, " my kind friend, you must look happier ; think of the beauti- ful walk you had a comin' here ; think of the happy scenes you passed through." " i did think of "em," says Josiah, "and yon can see for yourselves jest how it looks." It truly went ahead of anything I ever see for meachineas and wretchedness. But 1 wouldn't say a word to add to his gloom, I only says in a warnin* way, " You had better keep by your pardner after this, Josiah Ai» WIDDER DOODLE AS A BRIDE. 105 i Ifltu** And 1 added m I heerd the hour a •trikin' from the great clook on Machinery Hall, " It is time for us to go home." And we went. WIDDER DOODl^E AS A BBIDB. The next mornin' we went to the gronnds early, and walked along the broad, beautiful path (though very warm) and anon we see through the tall, noble trees on the nigh side of OB, beautiful Horticultural Hall a riain' up, lookin' connsiderable like some splendid foreign pictures I had seen of Morocco (not Morocco shoes, but jographv Morocco) ; and there I was calndy walkin along admirin' the gorgeons and stately but delicate and al* most dream-Iik# beauty of the stnlctnre, when all of a sudden I see a peaceable lookin' old lady a comin' along with her hair braided np in one long braid, and her dress cut night- Sown fashion ; she looked cool and comforta- le and was nvindin' her own business and carryin a umberell ; and in her other hand the nand she had some things done up in a paper. She was from some of the old coun- tries, I knew by her dress and Jner curious looks — her eyes bein' sot in sort o' biasin', and her complexion was too yeller for health — she wasn't well ; she eat tea-grounds I knew the minute I looked at her ; nothin' will give the complexion that saffrony yeller look that tea-grounds will. And jest as she got most up to us three young fellers begun to impose upon her. They wasn't men, and they wasn t children ; they was passin' through the land of conceitedness, feeble wliiskers, and hair-oil. A.nd there she was, behavin' herself like a pefectlady, and them three healthy young American fellers a laughin' and a scorfin' and « pokin' fun at her — a pintin' at her hair and dress, and her siloes, which was wooden — but none of their business nor mine if they was ; finally one of them took holt of her long braid and give it a yank, tind called her "John"; and ale, a tryiu' to save herself, dropped her paper and it bust open and all the things in it scattered out on the ground. As she stooped down in a patient way and went to pickin' 'em up, I jest advised them young fellers for theii good. I had been told that day that the fur- eigaers had most of 'em had to change their «wn costumes for ouru, the Americans made auoh fun of 'em ; it mortified me dretfui to have my own folks show such awful bad manners ; and says I : " I would be ashamed to myself if I was in your places ; are you such conceited fools as eo to think our dress is the dress of the world, and our ways all the ways there is under the «un? Although you probably don't know it, you are only a very small part of the world — a very little and mean part. You would do^ well to learn a little Japan gentleness, am some Turkey politeness,'' and says I, warm ly, asl looked at their pert impudence faces, I'j and then at her patient form — "Poles couldliK^ learn you a gooa deal, and they would to, if '* I had my way. " They started off lookin' I kinder meachin', and I laid to and^elped her pick up her things ; and I told her she must overlook it in coots ; says I, "most Americans ; would be ashamed cf them, as they ort to b« of themselves." But Josiah hnnched me, and whispered : > "Be you agoin' to stand all day a talkiu' to that man t'° " Jlan " eays I, in witherin' tones. "Yes, it is a Chinaman, and do com* along." Says I, "Josiah Allen, it is a pity if I can't li:::ve the privilege of speakiu' to a likely wo> man, afflicted with ganders, without your up and callin' her a man.^' He argued back that it was a man, but I wouldn't multiply any more words with him, and we went on by the broad lawn, or so they called it — though I told Josiah it looked more like velvet than it did like any lawn I ever see. It looked jest like the green velvet I had a bunnct made out of when I was a girl ; fresh, and green, and soft, and bright. And there was hundreds of the most gorgeous and brilliant flower beds scattered over it, and ornamental vases run- nin' over with vines and flowers, and ever- greens of all sorts ; but I can't describe it - and ^•on+ try. I said before, that Horticultural Hall wai dream-like in its beauty, but as I cot nearer to it I see my mistake ; it was fur hand« somer. I couldn't have drempt out such a exquisitely lovely buildin' if I bad gone to sleep a purpose ; and so I told Josiah, as we went up the broad blue marble steps, past greatcentury plants and oranges with orans** on 'em, up into alofty place tilled with folks, and flights of the most elegant steps on each side, and tall pillo ■vb standiu' up at the foot of 'em,with clusters o.f lamps on top.andfolks goin' up and down on cm — the stairs I mean. Groin' right in out of i;he blazin' sunshine, it seemed to me as if I never did see coolness so cool, and greenuess so green, and shade so uncommon shady before. Ntver did I see such noble and almost foamin' lookin' green leaves of all kinds and shapes, from the size of a pusly leaf, to them big enough to make my Josiah a pantaloons and a overcoat. The floor was sort o' openwork, with plain stripes runnm' down through it, bunthin' aa I knit stockin's when I want 'em to look uncommon well. Bnt oh ! how lovely it did look to me, as I glanced down as fur as I could see ahead of me, to see clear from the till: 109 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. *.?>-i^ •" . . * •i'l floor to away up overhead, the beautiful branches a spreadin' out, and the lovely Eoseys, and over, 'em and amongst 'em great unches of lamps a hangin' that looked like drops of light as the sun shone through 'em, and stars and ornaments of all kinds, a glis- tenin' up there on the lofty ceilin'; and down below there was white marble statutes a gleamin' and fountains a gushin' out. There was one fountain that I took to dretfuUy. A noble big vase bound with acanthus leaves, was a shootin' up water, clear as a crystal, and at the foot of it on some rock work, sot three handsome children jest ready to plunge down into the cool, wet water : one of 'em was blowin' a shell, he felt so awful neat. There was lots of fountains in the Hall but none so uncommon handsome as this ; and that noble fountain was the work of a woman ; and as I looked at it, I thought I should be proud and hap- py to take her by the hand and say : '* Miss Foley, I too am a woman, I am proud to sympathize with you. " A good lookin' woman, dressed up slick, with a little book and pencil in her hand, spoke up and says to me : " It in wonderful, haint it ? '* Says I, " Wonderful haint no name for it." *' That's so ;" says she, and added, "have you seen the phantom leave ?" or sunthin' like that. Says I, firmly, "There haint been no phan- tom here appearin' to me, and how could I see it leave?" Then thinkin' of my vow, and likin' her looks first-rate, I lays in a en- couragin' tone, "There has somebody been a tryin' to fool you mom, there haint no such things as ghosts and phantom'ses. Ohosts and phantoms are made of moonshine, and fear and fancy are the makers of 'em." She took up her parasol— a pale blue one all covered with white lace — and pinted right up at a glass case, and says she : "Phantom leavei I mean, yon oan see them." " Oh I" says I, **I thought you meant a ghost." They was handsome ; looked as white and delicate as the frost-work on our winden in December. - It wasn't probable more'n half an hour after this that my pride had a fall. Truly, when we seem to be a standin' up the straightest, tottlin' may come onto us, and sudden orumplin' of the spiritual knees. There I had been a boastia' in my proud philosophical spirit that there was no such thinss M phantoms, and lo, and behold 1 within thirty-one minutes time, I thought I see a ghoit appearin' to me ; I was skairt, and awe-stricken. The way on*t was, Josiah beset me to go into some of the different hot- houses in the buildin', and I had told him firmly, that bein' very fleshy and warm- blooded, I was satisfied and more'n satished with the heat of the place I was in ; but if he wasn't — bein' thinner in flesh, if he felt chilly, he could go and I would meet him in a certain place. So he went on, and I me andered back into the Main Hall. And there I stood a lookin' peaoefuUv up into the boughs of a Injy Rubber tree, and thinkin' pensively to myself what fools anybody was to think that rubber-boots and shoes grew right out of the tree, for they didn't — no such thing ; they had green leaves like any tree — when all of a sudden I heerd these words : " Oh Doodle ! Doodle 1 if you was alive, I shouldn't be in this perdickerment !" If I had had some hen's feathers by me, I should have burnt a few, or if I had had a tea-cup of water I should have thrown some in my face, to keep me from faintin' away. But not havin' none of these conveniences by me, I see I must make a powerful effort, and try to control myself down ; and jest as I was a makin' this effort, these words come again to my almost rigid ear. " Oh Doodle ! Doodle ! you never would have stood by, and seen you relicit smashed to pieces right before your dear linement." And as I heered these works I see her ap- pearin' tome. I seethe Widder Doodle, emerg- in' from the crushin' crowd, andadvancin'onto me like aphantom. Says I to myself, "Be you a ghost or be you a phantom ? Are yon a fore-runner, Widder f' says I, "you be a fore-runner, I know you be," for even as I looked I see behind her the form of Solomon Cypher advancin' slowly on, and appearin' to me too. I felt fearfully curious. But in about three-fourths of a minute my senses come back — for the big wave of folks sort o' swept off somewhere else, and left the Widder Doodle some like a sea- weed nigh me. And (f Solomon appearin' a. But in my senses folks sort i left the weed nigh I see thr* anythiuA ty lookior Iter, *«nd e snn did aniedi 1 r of bnnit r ouHons L twisted ft ort by her days, le, that I '''ay, and arhed to 'i lOT And then it all come back to mc — thtir talk the day he come to borry my clothes for the motirners ; her visits to hie house- keeper sense ; aud his strauge almost foolish erranta to our house from day to day ; but I didn't speak my thoixghts, I only said • " Widder Doodle, what ever put it into your head to marry again ?" Well, she said she had a kinder got into the habit of marryin', and it seemed some like a second natur to her — and she thought Solomon had some of Doodle 'scs linement — so she thought she would marry him. She laid he offered himself in a dretful hand- fiome style ; she said the children of the Abbey, or Thadeus of Warsaw couldn't done it up in any more foamin' and roman- tic way ; she said he was a briogiu' her home in his waggon from a visit I I'emembered her makin' to his housekeeper. " Three weeks after his wife's death !" says I. •"Yes," says she, "Solomon said the corpse wouldn't be no deader than she was then, if he waited three months, as some men did." Says she, "The way on 't was, I was a praisin' up his horse and waggon — a new diimble waggon with a spring seat — when all of a sudden he spoke out in a real ai'deut and lover like tone : ' Widder Doodle, if you will be my bride, the waggon is yourn, and the mares.' Says he, • Widder, I throw myself onto your feet, and I throw the waggon and mares onto 'em ; and with them and me, I throw eighty-five acres of good land, fourteen cows, five calves, four three year olds and a yearlin', a dwellin' house, a good horse barn, und myself. I throw 'em all onto your feet, and there we lay on 'em. ' "He waited for me to answer and it flustrated me so that I says : ' Oh Doodie 1 Doodle 1 if you was alive you would tell me what to do, to do nght.'" "And that," says she, " seemed to mad him ; he Ibok black and hard as a store pipe, his forward all wrinkled up, and he yelled out that he didn't want to hear nothin' about no Doodle nor he wouldn't neither." Sa_ys she "He hollered it up so, and looked'so threatnin* that I took out my snuif hand- kerchief and cried onto it, and he said he'd overlook Doodle for once, and then he said again in a kind of a solemn and wamin' way: 'Widder I am a layin' on your feet, and my property, my land, my live «tock, my nousen, and my housen stuff, are all a layin' on 'em ; make up your mind, and at once, for if you don't consent I have got other views ahead on me, which must be seen to at once, and instantly. Time is hastenin', and the world is full of will in' i 1 one tellin' his prayers when he didn't wlov to. He looked exactly as Thomas J. did when I married his fa. He had run wild and wouldn't pray ; 'd git him all knelt down, and he'd say : I wofCt lay tr e down to sleep, I XDon't pray the Lord my soul to keep, I won't die before I wake. I MBon'L pray the Lord my soul to take. And wlien he'd say the Lord's prayer, he'd ■ay, " T.cad us into temptation,'* jest as loud as he could yell, and cross as a bear. Jest as quick as I got him civilized down he'd tell 'em off like a little pasture. But oh ! bow cross and surly he did look at first, jest for all the world like this little feller. I hunched Josiah to take notice, and he said if Thomas J. had been sculped in the act it couldn't look mere natteral And there was such lovely ?itLaIe wimmen faces, innocent as angels — one with a veil over her face ; only think on it, a marble veil, and I a seein' right through it. But there was some Italian statutes that instinctively I got between and Josiah, and put my fan op, for I felt that he hadn't ort to see 'em. Some of the time I felt that he was too good to look at 'em, and some of the time I felt that he wasn't good enough ; for I well knew, when I come to think it over, that human nater wasn't what it once was, in Eden, and it wasn't innocence, but lack of innocence that ailed folks. But whether he was too good or not good enough, and I couldn't for my life tell which ; either way I felt it wasn't no place for him ; so I hurried him through on a pretty good jog. And among the statutes of my own Na- tion, was Aurora; it seems as if it struck me about as hard a blow as any of 'am. To see that beautiful tigger of Mornin' risin' right up sailin' over the earth with her feet ou nothin'; her arm« Over head scatterin' the brightness of d«y down in roses upon the earth, and tlie stars and the shadders of night afalliu' away from her; it was as beau- tiful a marble thought, ai I ever laid eyes on — or I'd think so Uu I see some other one, and then I'd think that was the beautifulest. There was Nydia the blind girl of Pompeii t What pain and helplessness was on her face, and what a divine patience born of Bufferin'. "What a countenance that m as ! And then there was two little Water Babies, layin'inasea shell — I rlon't believe there was ever any cunniner little creeters in the hull world. And bavin' such feelin's for her, feelin' so sort o' intimate with her and Ham let, it was very atjcctin" to me to sec Ophflia, a lookin' jest as 1 have heerd Thomas J. read about oer. She was staudiu' holdin' some dowera in her dress with one hand, and with tho other hand she was holdin' out a po&ey jest as if she was a snyin' : "There's rosemary, that's for remem- brance ; pray you love remember, and there's pansies that's for thoughts." She was dressed up in storf; clothes too, which was indeed a trRat.aud a sweeter face I don't want to see. And then there Mas a noble group — Death a tryiii' to kill Honor, and couldn't. Strength and Courage and Perse- verance had gone down before him, but Honor he couldn't kill; it was a very noble and in- spirin' sight. And Media was another dret^ fulaffectin' statute to me .: what trials and tribulations that woman did go through, killin' her children, and ridin' af^r serpents, and everything. I was some acquainted with her (through Thomas Jefferson. ) And then there was Night and Mornin'; I never see 'em look better in my life, either of 'em. And Ruth a gleanin'; she was a kneelin' down on one knee, and look first- rate, though I did think it would have been better if she had pulled her dress waist up where it belonged. Howsumever everybody to their own mind. There was two at^tntes of Cleopatra, pretty nigh together, one by a man, and one by a woman. Mebby you'll think I am parshal to my sect, but if I wasn't a woman— if I was a man — I'd say and I'd. contend for it that her Cleopatra looked fur handsomer and better than niten. And there was a minute man, that looked stem and noble, .and as if he would be right there jest to the minute. But what's the use of tryin' to tell what pictures was the loveliest, amidst such acres and acres of loveliness, such sweet and nearly bewitchin' faces, such lovely and almost giowin' landscapes. There was '* Yankey Doodl(»"a8 interestin' as I always knew that yankey was ; I never see him lock better tlian he did here ; there stood three generations with the soul of 1776 a shinin' through their faces, and the oldest face of all was lit up with the deepest glow and inspiration. It was a dretful animatin' and inspirin' picture to me and to Josiah. And then there was an- ^^ 11 J03IA11 Ai.MSNS -vVlFB. ;!!'%.' m. other picture oalled "Elaiue" that dealt both my mind and my heart fearful blows. I had heerd Thomas J. read about her so much that she seemed almost like ooe of the relations on the side of the Smiths. She was a handsome girl and likely as she could be, but she got disappointed, fell in love with Mr. Launcalot— and he, bein' in love with another nwn'i wife, couldn't take to her, so she died oS. But her last request was to be laid, after she died, in a boat with ■a letter m her hand for him she died ofif for, biddin' him good-bye ; and that the boat — steered by her father's dumb hired man — should float off down to Camelot where he was a stayin' a visitiu*. (I don't s'pose I have told it in jest exactly the words, Tho- mas J. reads so much, but I have probable got the heads of the stov y right). And there she lay, perfectly lowjiy— in her right hand, the lily, and in i^er left the let tur ; the dead steered by the ■P t 112 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. ■ ?' :: i graves and ruina, I hear; they oan't be worth much to him. " I "You can learn the price from Signor Alessandro Castellani. " "Who?" says Josiah. "The gentleman vho owns the collection, the head of the Italian Commission. There he is a comin' this way now." He was a good lookin' ohap, with a animated eager look to his f 100. And when he got up to us Josiah say ' iiim, "How much is that lit* le sardoui. .i^;?" Says he, iii a pleasant way though sort o' foreign in axent. "That ring sir, is eight hundred dollars. My pardner stood with his head bent for« ward, and his arms hanqiu' down straight, in deep dumbtounder. Finally he spoke, ami Rays hein low agitated axents, "How much do you call the hull lot of old stulf worth T "Two hundrfed thousand dollars," says he. Says Josiah, "I thought five dollars w(tul(l buy the hull. I guess we had better be goiu' Samantha." After we got out, I says "I guess, Josiah Allen, you wish you hadheerd tome." " "Dummit 1 who thought they were such fools ?" says he. Says I sternly, "Josiah Allen, it scares me to thii k you have got to be such a pro- fane swearer," says I "yon never swore such profane oaths in your hull life before, as you have sense you have been on your tower. What would your pasture say if he could hear you ? And you call 'em fools," says I, " I guess they haint the only fools in the world ? " " Who said they wm," says he. And then he spoke up and sa^'s he, "I guess I will go out and look at some moles, and •teers." "Well," says I more mildly, '• Mebby you had better." And we agreed when it \7as time to go home, to meet at ' De- [lartmeut of Public Comfort. So JosiaU went to look at the live stock, ( he seemed to enjoy himself better when he was in that situation ) and I wandered round through them wildernesses of entran- cin' beauty, perfectly happy ( as it were. ) I had roamed round mebby an hour, lookin' at the pictures and statutes that lined the walls on every side, not mindin' the crowd a mite, some of the time a laughin' and some of the time a cryin' ( entirely unbe- < known to me. ) I was a standin' in Gkr> many, enjoyin' myself dretfnlly, for the G^ermans are a affectionate, social race, and their pictures of home life are exceedin'ly interestin' and agreeable, to one who loves lissMMdoes she, whose name was once ^BnftSk, And then there was piotares that Twnaldi >ii«k<» yoa smile, snob as" Buying, the Cradle," and "The Disagreemeni" And there vvns lovely landscapes, and grand and iii<;ii'in' pictures. I had jest been a lookin' at '•' Christ Appearing to Mary Magdalene," a noble picture; our Saviour clad in white like Eternal Purity, and she rushing forward with outstretched arms and her face all lit up with joy and adoration. I had jest left this picture and was a lookin' at " Luther Intercepted," and thinkin' how sort o' lonesome the woods looked, and how sorry I was for Luther— when all of a sudden I heerd a awe-stricken whisper on the nigh side of me : " There is the Emperor of Brazil ! There is Dom Pedro 1 " And lookin' up I see a tall man with whiskers and moustache, come in in a quiet way with a little book in his hand, and go to lookin' at the pictures. For nearly three* quarters of a moment I felt strange, curious, exceedingly so. But Principle showed me jest what to do, to do right, and Duty locked arms with me and bore me onwards, right up in front of that noblest of men, for 1 felt that I ort to make some move towards get* tin' acquainted with him. I took it right to myself; he was a literary man; I was a lite* rary woman; he was on a tower of investiga- tion and principle; I too, was on such a tower; and I knew if I should go to Brazil to get Brazil nuts or anything, if I should happen to go to his neighbourhood to any doiu's where he was, and he shouldn't make any move towards gettin' acquainted with me, I should feel hurt. I shouldn't be mad, but it would grieve me — work on my feeiin's. And so thinks'es I, I wont stand on no cere- mony but do as I would be done by, and scrape acquaintance with him. I am very polite when I set out toit Any* body to see me appear sometimes, would almost think I was born in a meetin' house. I have a very noblp way to me sometimes, it comes natural, and I put on now, the very best mean I had by me, and curchied nobly. And though I do say it that shouldn't, I can make as good lookin' a curchy as any woman of my age and size when I set out. Of course I can't put in all the little curious motions I could if I weighed less than two hundred, but I did well. And jest as I got through curohyien I spoke up in a very polite, but calm tone: "How do you do Mr. redro ?* They call him Dom, a nickname for Dom> bey, I s'pose. But I always think it looks better for females to be sort e' reserved and dignified, and so I called him Mr. Pedro. And says I, "I will make you acquainted with Josiah Allen's wife." He looked at me kinder searchin* like, and then when I had a full look at him, I could see that he looked well. Though, like my* sel^ he oooldn't be oalled handsome, he hiM reement." ipes, and had jest bearing to tare ; onr kl Purity, ftatretched joy and loture and l>ted," and [the wooda Luther— i re-stricken »I1 There \ man with in a quiet 1, and go to early three- l^e, curioua, showed me )uty locked ^arda, right », for 1 felt wards get* i. it rifirht to 1 was a lite* of investiga- I on such a go to Brazil , if I should [lood to any juldn't make ainted with in't be mad, I my feelia's. 1 on no cere- by, and THE ARTEMUS GALLERY. HI me it to. An V- imes, would 3etin' house, imetimes, it IV, the very jhied nobly. Idn't, I can I any woman I. Of course is motions I eo hundred, got through polite, but Pedro ?* e for Dom* nk it looks sserved and Mr. Pedro, acquainted n' like, and m, I could 1, like my* Be, he hid A good look to his face. His eyes had that sort of a weary look, considerable sad, and condsiderable hopeful too, and very deep and searchin', jest as if they had looked a good deal at things that worried and per* (jlexedhim; jest as if they had looked at bigotry,and prejudice.and iguorance,andthen seen clear acrost 'em the suulight of educa- tion, and freedom, and true religion a dawn- in' on the land be loved. I don't know when I have seen a face that I li Ice I better. And my admiriu' iiutl reverential emotions riz up 80 that I never spoke about the weather — or asked him whether ho was cnjo^in' good health, or whether Miss Pedro and the rest of the folks was as well as could be expected, or anything — but I spoke right up and says I in tones trembliu' with emotion : " I have been on towers before, Mr. Pedro, and have felt noble and grand on 'em, but never did I feel so lifted up on any tower as I do now. Never, never, did I meet a literary man that I feel such emotions to- wards, either on a tower or oflfon it." And as I went on I grew more and more agitated, and eloquent ; why, I felt so elo- quent that I see there wasn't no use to try to stop myself, and I says in fearfully noble azents : " When a man in a lofty station like yourn, instead of spendiu' his days admirin' himself, works earnest, hard work to benciit the people God placed iu his keepin'; studies day ana night how to advance their in- terests, iu every way, and raise them up and make them prosperous and happy ; that man Mr. Pedro, raises himself from 35 to 40 ceiits in my estimation. And when that literary, and nohU ainded ma gets down oat of his high chair — soft as royalty and a people's devotion can noake it — and sets off on a tower to collect information to still fur- ther beaetit them, he raises himself still fur- ther up in my estimation, he still further en- ilears himself to her whose name was formally' Smith. For," says I wipin' my heated for- ward, " I feel a sympathizin' feelin' foi liim ; I too, am literary, and a investigator in the cause of right, I too am on a tower. " He looked dretfnl sort o' earnest at me, and. surprised. I s'pose it kind o' took him back, and almost skairt him to see a woman so awful eloquent. But I kep' right on, un- beknown to me. Says I "Some kings look down on the people as if they was only dust fofitbeif throne to rest on : while they set u{^ on it, with their crown on, a playin' with their septer, and countin' over their riches : aod admivin' themselves. But," says I, ** Mch feelin's felt towards theueople makes . the waves of an^py passions rise up ^^mw, randdy waves of feelin', underminia' the thi'oue, and tot^lm' it right over. But when a ruler plants the foundations of his throne in Justice, and gootlness, and the hearts of his people, they are tirm foundations, and will stand a pretty good shakiu' before tumblin* down." Says I (still entirely milu-known to me) "Some folks thinks its litta 'em up and makes 'em Higher and nobler, if they have somebody beneath 'em to look down on and feel coiiteniptuona towards ; but it haint L'lirist-like. And they who are tiie uioat like llitii, the lolLiebt, truest souls, have the most generous and lieli)ful bpirit, the teii- derest compassion tor them who are ac- counted beneath them. They would much rather otfeud an equal, than to add, by a word or a look to the burdens of those already burdened by a senso of their poverty and inferiority. And that is one te ison why I always liked the sun, Mr. Pedro, why I always fairly took to him, because he is so great and noble and royal hearted, and with al! his kingly and soarin' grandeur, has such awful tender streaks to him, so thoughtful and helpful to the little neglected cast off things of the earth. If he turns the cold shoulder to any one, it is to the high, the hauty, and the big feelin'. How different he appears, how much more cold and icy his mean U to the loftiest moun- tain peaks to what it is to the little cowslip blow and blue eyed violet down by the swamp, or the low grasses growin' in fence corners and by the door-sieps of the poor. How warm and almost tender he is to ihem, never twittin' them of their worthlessness and how much he has done for them, but smilin' right down on 'em, helpin' 'em to grow, and makin' no fuss about it. Not a mite afraid of login' his dignity, the Bun hamt, wheu he is bendin' himself down to lift up a myrtle blow, or encourage a skairt little dandelion trampled down by the side of the road. He has got a big job of shiuin' on his hands. He has took the job of lightin' the world, and he haint got no time or dis* position to be exclusive and nurse his digni- ty, as little naters do, and he don't need to." I knew by the expression of Mr. Pedro'i face that he mistrusted that I was oomparin' him to the sun, and bein' so modest, jest like all great naters, it was fairly distressin' to him. And givin' a glance round the room at the noble pictures and gorgeous doin'a, he lays: " I congratulate you all, Madam, on your great display. I see much to admire. " That man is a perfect gentlemen, if there ever was one. But I wasn't goin' to be out- done iu politeness : I wasn't goin' to have him feel uncomfortable because we had bet* ter doin's than he had to home. And so says I, ** Yes, we have got up a pretty lair 114 JOSIAH ALT.EN'S WIFK .U-, T; :r (V ir-ii*. , show, but yon mustn't think we have uch (loin's every day, Mr. Pedro. Columbia haa got her hif{h heeled shoes ou, as you may say, and is showin' oflF, tryin' to see what shn can do. She has been keepin' hous'i for a hundred years, and been a addin' to her house every year, and repairin' of it and get- tiu' housen' stuff together, and now she is havin' a regular houaewarmin' to show off what a housekeeper she is." A sain he said, with that conrteous and polite look of hisen, that "it was a grand and instructive scene j nothing like it liail met his eyes in his own land. He didn't blame the nation for the pride they folt, it was deserved ; the display was grand, mag- ii'ficent, and the country was prosperous ; in t ' aveling through it he had been delighted anl amazed." I thought then, he was so generous, and I)i\.i8ed us up so, it would be poTite for me t.j sort o' run ourselves down, a ver}' little. Principle wouldn't let me run far, and says I: "Yes, our American Ea<,de has laid quite a pile of eggs and hatched out quite a quan- tity of likely growin' states and territories, and I don't know as she ort to be blamed too much if she does cackle pretty loiid, and look as wise, and satisfied, and kuuwiu' as a hon turkey." And then thinkin' it would be very polite in tiie to turn the aubjoot away from our national and personal glory, I spoke out in as friendly a tone as I had by me — for I truly Uc as if the nation and 1 couldn't do too much, or say too much to show onr admira- tion and appreciation for the smartest and censiblest monarch we ever had amongst us. Says I in a real neighbourly tone: "How is your wife, Mr. Pedro? How j/lad 1 should be if you and she could come to Jouesville before you go down home, and make us a good visit;" says I, " I would love to git acquainted with her and so would Josiah; and I don't s'pose I shall ever git so far from home as Brazil, for Josiah and me don't visit much anyway, and South America seems to be sort o' out of our way. But" — savs I, iu that Mune friendly and almost antotionate manner — " don't wait for us Mr. Pedro, if you and she can come now, or after you git home, come right up; we shall be glad and proud to see you at any time." And then I happened to think, what I had heard about her enjoyment of poor health, and says I, "Howis Theresy^ lameness now, does she git any the better of it?" He thanked me dretfol poUte, and said she " wasn't any better." " Did she ever try anv ameky ?* saya I, " I do believe if she shoiud try that and yar* rer, she would jy;it help." He said he didn't think aha ever had. " Well," says I, " I can recommend it to her, and I haint the only one. If she has any douMs of its bein' good, let her go right to Mise Archibald Gowdey and she'll con- vince her." Says I, " Miss Oowdey tojd me witL ^er own mouth that her hrotl/m'n wife's grandmother was bed rid with lame- ness and she took arnrky and wormwood, half and half, and steeped 'em up in vinegar, and put in one or two red peppers to git up a circulation on the outside, and took Doneset and yarrer on the inside, and in three weeks time she felt like a new critter — could have waltzed if it wasn't for her principles (she Avas a Methodist and wouldn't be catohed at it.) And I believe my soul if Miss Pedro should try it she would feel the good effects of it. And you tell her from me that if sho liaint brought up any herbs with her, or got any good vinegar by her, I'll furnish her in welcome and it shant cost her a cent. I have got a piller case full of yarrer, and other herbs accordin', and as Kood a hogsetof vine- gar as ever made its own mother. " He felt well, Mr. Pedro did. He kinder laughed with his eyes, he took it so well in me, and he said he'd "mention it to the Empress." " Well," says I, "so do ; she needn't be a mite afraid of takin' the boneset and yarrer, for we have used 'em in our own family. My Josiah is kinder spindlin', springs and falls, and I give it to him." Says I, "Josiah looked so bad when he began to take it last fall that I was awful afraid I shouldn't Avinter him through. He looked like a bean pole." All of a sudden, jest as 1 said bean pole, a thouglit came to me that mortified me aw- fully. Comin' off so sudden as I had from his Theresy's sickness onto my Josiah's be* wailin' their tw o feeblenesses as I had, and dwellin' so on their two enjoyments of poor health, I didn't know but he would thiim I was a actin' some like Hamlet's ehost,! have heerd Thomas J, read about, "Movin' on to- wards a desiffn." And I wouldn't have him think so for tha world, or git any false ideea or false hopaa and elpeotationB into his head. Mr. Padro is a sensible, smart, sood-hearted feller; wa are both literary, and inyestigattn', and oar minds are congenial, very. Bnt if taf Josiah should die off, I never should marry again, never. Life nor death can't part two souls that are bound completely up in eaeh other. No, when the clay that wraps thsi two souls round drops away from one of 'an. it only makes 'em nearer to each other. Ana ao in the name of Principle I mildly \m% firmly sort d* ohanged the oonveraation, and told him " Be rare and give my best respects to Idiss Padro, and tell ner not to lerl hart THE ARTEMUS GALLERY. lid |«t all if I don't call on her while we are here to the village, for we can't Btay more than three days luu^^er auyway, for we have got a settiu' hen tliat must l>e iteen to, and other important business that calls us home. And we have got sight* and siglita of things to see before we go, and so have you I know ; so I wont detain you another iniuute,t}iough I'd love to visit with you longer." And then I curchied a^ain the best 1 knew how, and he bowed very pleasant and agreeable. I went and set down again for a few momenta and Mr. Pedro walked round the room a lit- tle more, u lookin' at the pictures and talkin' with some of his fnates, and they'd look at me every little wh.le, dretful smiliu'. They : felt friendly to me 1 know, I had appeared well, 1 knew it and they knew it. There was a woman amongst 'em that a bystander standin' by me said was the EmpreM. But I knew better ; I knew if it had been his M-ife, Mr. Pedro would have made me ac- I quainted with her, and been glad of the ! chance.. , I did not see Josiah when I entered into the Department of Public Comfort. But there were enough there to be sociable ; yon wouldn't be apt to feel lonesome. Never I [never was I so nearly crushed, never did I see such a crowd ; our faces were all red, I our bodies wet with perspiration and sweat ; I can compare our situation to nothin' but red rossberrys when you make jam of 'em. It was truly a tegus time. And I sithed out to Byself sevcal times, "Is this a Depart- ment of ComfortjSamautluk T Tell me Josiah . Allen's wife is this Comfort, or what is it T" i I would thus question myself almost wildly as I made nearly frantic efforts to keep my I breath in my body, and my body hull and sound on the outside of my breath. Finally, 1 got kinder wedged io so my back was to the wall, and I began to breath easier, and feel happy. Bat little as I thoaght it, ft worse trial was in front of me. I There was ft tall sepulchral lookin' chap m fltandin' richt by the side of me, and I 'spose p aeein' I had such a friendly and noble mean on me, he began to talk with me about the Sentinal and so 4th. And finally puttin' on ft kind of ft oonfidentiftl, bat important look, ^ he says : " Keep year composure mom, but don't be afraid of me, I amft lecturer mom." He see by my meftn that I wasn't skftirt, ftnd he went on ftnd continned : ' Yes, I am ft lecturer on spiritoftlism," iftnd says he, " Do yoa believe in spirits Imom ?" Yes,'^ says I ^'somei" And I ftdded in |ft cautious tone fIr3. Browning is great, if she feels like catchin' off men's hata, and grabbm' holt of their hands, and foolin' round. " Says he rollin' up his eyes : *' That nnseen world, the land we come from so lately and will return to so soon, is v«ry near to at; it is all round and about us ; ordy a breath divides us from it. Who dare deny that we grt tidings from it ? Who dare deny that voices of warning, or greeting comes to us, exiles from the true fatherland, home of the soul?" He r/as nearly eloquent, and aa^ I in reftsonftble axents, "I haint denied it, only it seems to me that anything so sweet and solemn and holy would be revealed to ns m some other wav than through the Ws of a pine table. It doM Mem to me thftt ^ w ho rides on the whirlwind ftnd the deads, ftnd who has the winds and waves for His mes- sengers, wouldn't find it necessary to tie a man up in a little bftss-wood box m order to revefti His will to oa. Howsumever, I don't say it haint so, I only tell my own idees ; other folks hftve ft right to tluBtm." But I told him I guessed I would be excused from goia' to see the spirits perform, as I didn't seem to hftve no dra win's that way.'' He acted surly, but I didn't care a mite; and Jest that minnte I see my pordner a« tryin' to enter into the abode of Cmnfotlt. I will not try to paint my M;oiiy nor hisen, on our way to each other, ftnd on oor wqr oat. Joaiah groaned out that he had had tmtmgh 116 JOSIAH ALLIJIN'S WIFE. Comfort to Innt him the whole of a lonq Hfo ; jiu'l 1 i;ro;uied hack a;^ain that a very little inoi'u oDinfort woulil have been the death of mu. ISiib we got out alive, wbioh we felt wai indeed a bleaiiin'. T'ri!^! ■ * J -J ■ ▼ARIOVB HATTBRA. The next day was Snnday, and if it ha(!n't beea we couldn't have gone anywhere. We was sick crittera, me and Josiah both ; a loi t of a Collerjr Morbeua. Some called it the Sentinal gripe. It was very fashionable to luivo it, though that didn't make a mite of dilJ'urenco to Josiah or rae ; we don't foller up the fashion so close as some do. Fashion or no fashion, it wasn't nothin' we wanted. Josiah felt better towards night, and went out for a little walk, and when he come back, says he : " The ' Creation Searcberi ' got into m real scrape last night ; was took up for vagrants and shet up in the Station HooM^ the hull ten on 'em," ••Howvoutalk/'Bayil. *' Yes, I met Sam Snider Jest now and he told me all about it. You see their spec- tacles blinded 'em so, not bein' used to em, that they got to wanderin' off, and got lost and couldn't find the way back, till it got most midnight, and the policemen took 'em np, thinkin' they was either crazy or fools. It seems they'd all stand in a row, and tell him they was 'Creation Searchers,' thinkin' it would scare him; and he'd holler back to 'em, that he'd 'Creation Search ' 'em, if they didn't move on. And then they'd tell him they was * World Investigators ;' and he'd tell 'am he'd ' investigate ' 'em with a club if they didn't start along. Then they'd try to scare him again. They would stand still and tell him they was ' takin' moments of the Sentinal, . and dbllectin' ' information ;' and he'd sass 'em right back, that he'd help 'em to information ;' and then he'd kick 'em. I s'pose they had a awful time, bat he got help and shet .'em up." Say I tirmly, "Them speotaclee tnll be the ruination of 'em, Josiah." " I know it," says he, " but they have ffot a reputation to keep np, and will wear ^m." The next momin', feelin' sort o' weiA: and mauger, we thought w« would ride to the Sentinal; but jest as we stepped out into the street, a man from the Grand Imposition Hotel hailed a big covered waggon, and it stopped, and he got in. It was jest as full as it could be, seemin'ly ; but the driver said there was " sights of room," so we got n. I thought I had seen close times, and tight times, in days that was past and gone, but I found that I knew nothin' about the words. Why, a tower two milos in length, like that, would haro been my last tower. It wasn't so much that I hadn't a mite of room, and stood on nothin', and was squeezed to that extent that corsets was as unnecessary m blinders on t blind man ; but I expected tlie ruir would cuine onto me every minute, such a tramplin' round on it. And there I was, with my arms pinned to my sides as close as if I was broke in to, and they was bandaged to me for splinters. Oh I the tegnsness of that time I And my pardner, Another mum- my by my side, a sweatin' more prespiration than I would have thought possible, and couldn't git his hands to his face, to save him; and we a groanin', and more men a clamberin' up on the outside, and hangin' on with one hand, and more wimmen dragged up to sulfer on the inside. Oh, never ! nev* er I did 10 cents buy such a terrible amount of bodily and mental agony as that 10 cents did. But it passed away (the waggon) m all other sufferin' will, if you give it time. The littln turnin' stile creaked round with us, and we started straight for Machinery Hall, for Josiah said he fairly hankered after see* in' the big "Careless Enjun, " and the great "Corrupt Gun." The minute we entered into that buildin' we had sunthin' to think about. We went through the three avenues. Jo- siah thoufjht they was forty miles in length, each of 'em. I, myself, don't believe they was, though they was very, very lengthy, and piled completely full of usefulness, beauty, and distraction. Every trade in the known world a goin' rifl;ht on there before our face and eyes, and we a walkin' along a seein' 'em : — ^Jewellers a jewelin'; rubber shoemakers a rubbin'; weavers, of all sorts and kinds, a weavin'; and bobbins a bobbin'; rook-orushers a crushin'; fanners a fannin'; laoers a lacin'; silk-worms a silkin'; butter- fly-makers a butterflyin'; paper-makers 'a paperin'; printers, of all kinds, a printin'; and gas-makers a gassin'; elevators a eleva' tin'; steamers a steamin'; iLtxd pumpers « pumpin'; sewin' machines a sewin': braiden a braidin'; and curlers a curlin'; rollers r roUin'; and gymnastickers a gymnastickin' wrenchers a wrenchin'; chucks a chnckin' drills a drillin'; and j^augers a gaugin'; rail- road, signals and frogs; switches a switohin' } bridges, railroads, steamships, threshin' ma« chines, all in full blast; and cataracks a cat* arackin'; and if there was anything else in the known world that wtisn't a goin' on there. I would love to have somebody men- tion itk The noise was truly distractin'; but if any- body could stand the wear and teiir of their brains and ears, it was one of th6 most in- ▼ARlOUt) MAITEHS. iaJ a'; rollers r «truotive Mid iiittrMiin' pUoM the world «Ter afforded to man or woman. Why, if there hadn't been another thinct in the bull buildin', that great " Careless Enjun " alone, was enoush to run anybody's' idees up into majestio height and run 'em round and round into lofty circles and spears of tbought, they hadn't never thought of rannin' into before. And there was everything else nnder the •an to see, and we see it ; and everything ■nder the sun to hear, and we heerd it. Though I can't be expected to describe upon it, for I had to keep such a eye onto ravself to keep myself oolleoted together. Why, the noise of my sewin' machine will make my head ache so sometimes, that I can't stand it; and then think of takin' the noise of seventy or ei^'hty thunder-claps, and a span of big earthquakes, and forty or fifty sewin' societies (run by wimmen), and all threshiu' machines you can think of, and tifty or sixty big droves of lions and hyena's a roaria', ami the same number of strong, healthy infants, under the influence of colic, and several hundred political meetin's and deeatiick schools jest let out, and several Niagara Falls; take the noise of all these put together and they don't give you any jest idee of the noise and distraction. Why, there was such a awful buzz and clatter of machinery; big wheels a turnm' little wheels, and little wheels aturniu' big ones, aud alia buzzin'; such a glitterin' of glass and gilderin' and colours of all kinds, aud a swarmiu' of folks aud chatterin' of voices, and rustlin' of dresses, and thiunpiu' of canes, stampin' of shoes and rnunin' of children, and flutterin' of ribbons, and wav- in' of bands and bowiu' of heads ; that though beauty and instruction was on every side of me and I knew it, yet I couldn't take a realizin' sense of it. I had to keep aakin' myself every few moments:— "J osiah Allen's wife, is it you ? tell me frankly, whether it is or not; or is it some of the re- lation on your mother's side ? or be it yon Josiah T or who be you ? Jest as I was a thinkin' this, who should I meet face to face but Cousin Bean, and ■ays she: "Hare you seen the mummy from Egypt, three thousand years old t" •'Mummy who?" says I. Says she -"It is a Egyptian woman, • princess; she is dead," says she. Says I — "I thought so, from h'»r age." "She is embalmed," says Cousin Bean. "What kind of balm ?" aays I, coolly. She said she nor anybody else knew exactly what kind of balm it was ; she said it had got lost thousands of years ago; oovered up with the dust of centurir< heart wonld break. And m I looked at it the thought would come up, though I order- ed it back, " What ! what if it was Joaiah !" And this thought rousted up such feelin's that 1 couldn't control 'em, and I turned round instinctively and locked arms with hira, and we went into another room. * Presently, or about that time we found ourselves in the French Department. I laid out to pa> a good deal of attention to France, whether they showed off in the Main Build* in' or Art Oallery, or anywhere ; becMinaa, wherever I stood before their doins — above all the beauty and crandeur of their display, I see with my miners eye, that gallant form that left glory and happiness behind him to come with the army and treasure to help a strugglin' land to freedom. I see that noble face — not middle-aged and brass-mounted as he looks on his monument, but young and eager-eyed — a standin' on the vessel's keel (or kseler) a goin' at Liberty's call, into a New World, and the perils and hardships of a camp ; and wavin' back a good bye to the gay pleasures of his youth, to rank, and ail he loV id best — his sweetheart and his native laud. I t'ejl mostskairfc to say it, and don't know as I ort to, but somehow I feel a little dif- ferent about Layfayette from what I do about our own glorious Washington. For G. W. was a fightin' for his own land, and tlierewas most likely a little mite of seld;»b- ness mixed up with hi^s noble emotions, (probable not more than one part ;u two or three hundred) but in this noble vouug fpl- ler these wasn't a mite. He give \11. anL! dared all, from pure love of Liboity and sympathy for the oppressed. And so France's hull doin's would have looked good to me anyway for his sake. But if they hod stood on their own merits they would have stood as firm and solid as a hemlock post newly sot. They done well, clear from the ceiliu' down. There was one picture, there was a great crowd before^ and amongst the rest I sss the " Creation Searchers" a standin' in a row, a gazin up at it with a dissati^tied though nearly wooden expression of courtenance. The picture was " Rizpah Defeuclin' the bodies of Sanr«ohildern from the Eacles ;" it afTeoted me terribly — I thought of Thomas Jefferson. The wild desolation of the spot, the great beams a risin' out of the rocks with the Steven d»id bodies a Hangin' up in the air — left ther»» to die of huneer and pgony — with tho slow death ©'agonizin' horror MTote out on their d« ad fws'v and their stitTeued forms. And beneath them standin' with her y el- lerdre?« .iiic< blue drapery a tloatinback from her, is Rizpah, fightin' hacli a huge vulture that with terriblo open mouth and claws is coQteuiUn' with her for the bodies of her sons. They were slain to avert the famine, and there is in her face the strength of the mar- tyr, and the energy of despair. How that woman, so strong, so heroic by nature must have loved her two boys ! It was a horrible soareful picture but fearfully impressive When I look at anything very beautiful, or very grand and impressive, my emotions lift me dear up above speech. I s'pose the higher we go up the less taJkiu' there is to b 9 done. Why, il anybody could feel sociable and talkative when they first look at that pic* ture, I believe they could swear, they wouldn't be none too good for it. But jest at that minute when f was feelin' so awful horrified, and lifted up, and curious, and sublime and everything, I heerd a voice sayin' in a pert lively tone, but very scoffiu'. " That haint true to nater at aU." "No,"8aj's Solomon Cypher in a com- plaiuin', faultfindiu' way, " there's nothin' natteral about it at alL Why," says he strikiu' himself an eloquent blow in the pit of his stomach — "why didn't they hang the scarecrows never to the cornfield ?' "And I never," says Cornelius Cork, a holdin' his glasses on with both hands — for his nose bem' but small, they would fall off --"I never see a crow that looked like that ; it haiut shaped right for a crow." "The perspective of the picture haint the right size, " says Shakespeare Bobbet. " The tone is too low down," says Solo- mon Cypher ; the cheerful obscure is too big and takes up too much room." "Cheerful obscure," says I in withorin' * ones, as I looked round at 'em. " Don't you think we know what we are a talkin' about Josiah Allen's wife ?" says Solomon Cypher. " I won't say that you dont," says I "for •t M'ouldn't be good manners.'* stay another minute where they hurried Jobiah out tellin' him would be a waitin' for us at honse. I told Josiah on our way that them " Creation Searchers" fairly sickened me, a runnin' things down, and pretendin' not to admire 'em, and lookin' wooden, and tiadin' fault." " Well," says Josiah, "they say they have got a reputation for wisdom to keep up, and they will doit." "They are kecpm' up the reputation of natieral fools, " says I warmly. "Well," says Josiah with that same triumphant look to his mean he always wore when we talked on this subject, "if there haint anything in it Samantha, why does so many do it ?" Ho had got the better of me for once, and and he knew it. I knew well there was hitn- dreds of folks that got up a big reputation iu I wouldn't was, and I Miss Beau the Japan VARIOUS MATTERS. 131 * in a corn- in withorin' j«at that way, so I wouldn't multiply an- other word with hia., for 1 couldn't. Josiah said he wanted to look at a mowin' machine, and as I hadn't been to the Wo- man's Pavilion only to takea cutaory view of it, I thought now was the time, and so I went through it with a proud and happy heart. Yes, I can tmly aay without 1} lu' that my emotions as I went through that bnildin' was larger in size and heftier in weight than any emotions Ihad enjoyed sense I had been to the Sentinal. Feelin'such feel- tn's for my sect as I felt, holdin' their honor and proeperity, and success nearer tn my heart, than to any earthly object, (exceptin' Josiah) 1 suppose if anybody could have looked inside of my mind as I wandered through them rooms, they would have seen a sight they never would have forgot the longest day they ever lived ; I s'pose it would have skairt 'em most to death if they wasn't used to seeiu' emotions performin*. Ob ! such proud and lofty fedius as I did enjoy a seein' the work of my sect from all over the length and breath of the world. The wonderful, useful inventions of the sect, showin' the power and solid lieftof her brains ; the beautiful works of art showin' her creative artist soul, and proviu' plain the healthy ami vigorous state of her imagii.a- tion. The wonHorful wood carvin', and dainty fancy needle work, aud embroideries of all kinds you can imagine, showin' the j-stidfly, patient, persistent powers of her hands and fingers ; and wh.it was fur more [ interestin' to mo of all, was the siL^iit ex- hibit at the south entrance, showin' what j«ort of a lieart she has wiriiin her, a reooid [«f eight hundred and twenty-two large noble l«ized chariries," organized and carried on by Itho sect which a certain person once Smith, ps proud to say she belongs to. Oh ! I can truly say that I felt perfectly mtiful, a goin' through them noble halls, seeiu' every thmg and more too, (as it rere) from doll's shoes, and pictures of Dseys, and squirrels, and five little pigs, «p to the Vision of St, Christopher, aud a big statute of Eve staudiu' with her arm rer her face, hidin' tiie shame in it. There »s Injnn basket work, perfectly beautiful, |nd settiu' by the side of it M'eavin' her wkets dot as dignified and good appearin' wouian, (Ihottgh dark complexioncd) as liy nation of the world sent to the Senti- »1. I bought a httle basket of her right Jere on tlie s^jot, for I liked her looks, id she handed me out her card : Margaret Ivesiah, Obkine Injun of Canada, J And tiierewas napkins, thehnenof which la wove by my frieud, the Widder Albert ; kd as I looked at 'em, I thought gently to ^self : how many women who haint got a Right, and don't want one, oould spin linen equal to this ? And then amongst everj other way to honour aud glorify my seclj that could be thought of, there was a female woman all carved out of butter. I had thought in my proud spirited hautiness ot soul that I could make as handsome butter balls, and fiower 'em off as nobby as any other woman of the age. But as I looked at that beautiful roll of butter all flattened out into such a lovely face, I said to myself in firm axents, though mild : " Samantha, you have boasted your last boant over butter balls." There was some bright happy pictures, and some that wasn't. One was of a sick child and it's mother out in the desert alone with the empty water jug standin' by "cm. The mother holdin' the f«reble little hands, and weepin' over him. Her heart was a desert, and she was in a desert, which made it bard for her, and hard for me too, and I was jest puttin' my hand into my pocket after my white cotton handkerchief, whop somebody kinder hunched ine in. the si('.e. and loo kin* round, there was that veiy feniale lecturer I see at Xew Yoik \ iUage, She says : "Come out where it is nioie quiet, .Josiah Allen's wife ; I want to hove a little talk witli you." She looked perfectly full of talk, but says I: *' I haint only jest commenced Inokin* round atthesyjlendiddoin's in this buildin';" says I, " I doii't want to stir out of this house for 13 or 14 hours." Says she, " Yun can come again, but 1 must have a talk with you." Says I, "Feeiiu' as I do, went you excuse mo mom ?" But she wouldn't excnse me, and seeia' she was fairly sufferm' to talk, I led the way to a rendtzvoo where I promised Josiah to be, not knowin' how long she would talk when «he got at it, for — though I am very close mouthed myself — I know well the failin's of my sect in that respect. The very moment we sot down on the pleasant and secluded bench I took her to, she began : " What do you think of men meetin' here to celebrate National Independence and the right of self-government, when they hold half of their own race in political bond- age ?" Says I, firmly, " I think it is a mean trick Can't you say sun- m 'em." Says she, bitterly thin' more than that ?" "Yes," says I. "I can, and will; it is moan as pusly, and meaner." Says she, " What do you think of their meetia' here and glorifyin' the sentiment iip to the heavens in words, ' true government consists in the consent of the governed, and tramplm' it practically down to the dust 1222 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. ■*>» , nnder their feet? What do von think of this great ado oyer grantin' the makin' of onr laws to the Irishman jest out of prisop, whom they dislike and dogpiae— and denyin' those rights to intelligent, native-bom citizens, whom they love and respect? What, do you think of their taxin the Christian and earnest souled women, worth half a million, and leave it to men, not worth the shoes they wear to the pole, the igno- rant, and the vicious, to vote how that money shall be used ; she, by the work of her hands or brains, eamin' property to be used in this way, in makin and enforcin' laws she despises and believes to be minous, and unjust in the sight of God and man. What do you think of this ?" says she. Scays I, with a calm but firm dignity : "I think pusly is no meaner." "Oh!" says she, turnia' her nose in the direction of the Main Buildin' and shakin' her brown lisle thread tist at it, "how I de- spise men ! Oh, how sick I be of 'em 1' And she went on for a long length of time, a callin' 'em every name I ever heerd men called by, and lots I never heerd on, from brutal whelps, and roarin' tyrants, down to lyin' sneakin' snipes ; and for every new and awful name she'd give 'em, I'd think to myself: why, my Josiah is a man, and Father Smith was a man, and lots of other relatives and 4 fathers on my father's side. And so says I: " Sister, what is the use of your mnnm men so ? " says I, mildly, " it is only a tirin' yourself ; you nerer will catch 'em and put the halter of truth onto 'em while you are a runuin' 'era so fearfully ; it makes 'em skit- tish and baulky." Says I, " Men are handy in a number of ways, and for all you seem to despise 'em so you would be glad to holler to some man i£ your horse should run away, or your house git a fire, or the ship go to sinkin', or anything." Says she, " Men are the most despiseable creeters that erer trod shoe leather." "Well," says I, calmly, take wimmin as a race, mom, and they don't cherish such a deadly aversion to the other sect as you seem to umke out they do ; quite the reverse and opposite. Why, I have seen wimmen act so, a foUerin' of 'em up, pursuin' of 'em, clingin' to 'em, smilin' almost vacantly at 'em ; I have seen 'em act and behave till it was more sickenin' than thoroughwort to my moral stomach. Says I, " I cherish no such blind and almost foolish aflfection for 'em as a sect (one, I almost worship), but I have a firm, reasonable, meetin'-house esteem for 'era as a race. A calra, firm regard, unmoved and stiddy as a settin' hen ; I see th«ir faults plainly, very — as my Josiah will testify and adSrm to - *nd I also see their gooduesa- es, their strength, their nobilities, and their generosities — ^which last named are as much more generous than ourn as their strength ii stronger." Says I, " Pause a moihent, mom, in ycur almojst wild career of runnin' men down, to think what they have done ; look round the | world with your mind's eye, and see their work on land and sea. See the nations they they have founded ; see the cities stand where there used to be a wilderness ; see the deserts they bave made to blossom like « rosy ; see the victories they have got over time and space — ^talkin' from one end of tht j world to the other in a minute, and travel- lin' almost as quick through mountains and j under the water, and everything. See how old ocian herself — who used to roar defiance at 'em — was made by 'em to bile herself up into steam to get the victory over herself. And in spite of the thunder that tried to scare 'em out, see how they have drawd the the lightnin' out of the heavens to be their servant. Look there," aays I, pintin' my foreiSnger eloquently towards the main Halls — Machinery, Agricultural, and so 4th— "see the works of that sect you are runnin' so fearfully ; see their time conquer- in, labor-savin' inventions, see—" "I won't see," says she, firmly and bitter- ly. " I won't go near any of their old ma- chines ; I'll stand by my sect, I'll stick to the Woman's Pavilion. I haint been nigh Machinery Hall, nor the Main Buildin', nor the Art Gallery, nor I won't neither." "I have," says I, in triumphant, joyful tones, " I have been lost in 'em repeatedly, and expect to be again. I have been des- tracted and melted down in 'em, and have been made almost perfectly happy, for the time bein', to see the wonderful fruits of men's intellects ; the labour of strong headi and hearts ; to see the works of men'i genius, and enterprise, and darin'; the use- ful, the beautiful and grand, the heroic and sublime. Why I have bean so lifted up that Uidn't know but I should go right up through the ruff, (over 200 pounds in all.) I have been elevated and inspired as I don't expect to be elevated and lifted up again for the next 1(X) years. And lookin' round ou what I see, and thinkin' what I though';::, it made me so proud and happy, that it was a sweet thought to me that my Joaiah was » | man.** " Oh shaw 1" says she, "you had better ba a lookin' at the Woman's Pavilion, than loukiu' ou what them snipes have done." Says I, "Do you take me for a natteral fool mom? Do you s'pose lam such a foul or such a luny, tliat every time I have looked at the Woman's Pavilion, and gloried over | the works of her hands and brains, I haint VARIOUS MATTEKS. 123 felt jest 80 — ouly more so?" Says I, "That buildin' stands there to-day as a solid and hefty proof that wimmen are sunthiu' more than the delicate, and helpless ze^ihyrs and seraphines, that they have been falsely pointed out to be. Says I, "It is a great scientiiic fact, that if men go to cauterin' blindly down that old pathway of wimmen's weakness and unfitness for labour and en- durance r.^d inability to meet financial troubles and discouragements again, they must come bunt up ag'inst that buikliu' and recognize it as a solid fact, and pause before it respectfully, ponderin' what it means, or else fall. They can't step over it, their legs haint long enough. " And says I, " It is earnest thought and work that has filled it, and that is what wimmen want to do— to do more, and say less. No stream cun rise higher than its fountain ; a universe full of laws to elevate wimmen can't help her, unless she helps herself. SuflFeragin' will do a good deal, but it haint a going to flU up a empty soul, or a vacant frivolous mind. There are thoughts that have got to turn right square round and travel another road ; there is tattin' and bobinet lace to be soared over ; there is shoulder blades that has got to be put to the wheel. Every flajj on the buildin' seems to float out like good deeds and noble eloquent thoughts, while the gabriel ends stand firm under 'em, like the firm, solid motives and prmciplea that great and good deeds have got to wave out from, in order to amount to anything." " But," says she, " the mean snipes won't let us vote." Says I calmly, "That's so ; they haint willin' all on 'em, to give ns the right of sufferagin' jest at present, and as I have said, and say now, it ia mean as pusly in 'em. But it don't look so poor in them as it do^s in the wimmen that oppose it, a fightin' ag'inst their own best interests. It seems to me that anv conscientious, intelligent woman, who took any thought for herself and her sect, would want a Right to—" Here she hollered right out interruptin' me; says she: " Less vote! less take a ham- mer and go at the men, and make them let us vote this minute." Says I, " I'd love to convince men of the ' truth, but it haint no use to take a hammer and try to knock unwelcome truths into any- body's head, male or female. The idee jnay be good, and the hammer may be a moral, well meanin' hammer; but you see the dan- der rises up in the head that is bein' hit, and makes a impenetrable wall, through which the idee can't go; that is a great philosophi- cal fact, that can't be sailed round, ur climbed over. And it is another deep, scien- tific principle, that you can't get two peisoi-s to think any more of each other or think :.iiy nearer alike by knockin' their heads tnget Ik r. Nobody can git any water by breakin' up a chunk of ice with a axe; not a drop: ynu have got to tliaw it out gradual ; jest like men's and wimmen's prejudices in tiie caiiso of ^'' ini- men's Eights. Public sentiment is tlie warm fire that is a goin to melt this cold hard ice of injustice that we are contendin' ag'inst; laws haint good for mnoh if public opininn don't stand behind 'em pushin' 'em onward to victory." "I wont wait a minute," says she, I will vote." But I argued with her; says I: " Sister, you are weU meanin', do doubt, but you ort to remember that the battle haint always to the swift." Says I, " It wont harm none of us to foUer Nater's ways a little moje close; and Nater is a female that — if she is ruther slow mentioned — generally has her way in the end to an uncommon degree. You don't catch her gettin' mad, wild, impa- tient, tearin"* open a kernel of corn, or grain of wheat, or anything, and growin' a stalk out of it sudden and at once. No! jest like all patient toilers for the RightjSheplants the sef>d, and then lets it take time to swell out, and git full to biistin' with its own convicticrs and desires to grow, till it gits so sick (it ti.e dark ground where it is hid, and longs so for the light and the free air above it, that it can't be kep' back a minute longer, but soars right up of hia own free will and accord, to- wards the high heavens and the IJeesed sun- light. But if seeds haint good for nothin', they wont come up; all the sunshine and ram on earth can't make 'em grow, nor cultiva- tors, nor horse rakes, nor nothin'. And so with principles. Lots of folks spend most of their days a plantin' seeds that wont come up. What is worthless wont amount to nothin' — in accordance with that great mathematical fact, that scientific folks like.me apply to lots of things, and find that it comes rightvery time — that ort fr.nn ort leaves nothin, and nothin' to carry. But if the idee is true and has got life in it, no matter how dark the world that covers it, it is morally bound to sprout— positively bound to, and can't be hindered. Don't you know, when a big forest has been cut down, berry bushes will spring right up, seen to have stood all ready to spring up for the refreshin' of men and wimmen jeet as quick as the shadders of the tall trees had got offen 'em ; curious, but so it is. Who knows how ma y centuries them seeds have laid there a waitin' their time to grow, gittin' sick of the sbail- dcrs me1r)by, but jest a waitiu' with consider- able patience after all. 124 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. rie. '^? <.• h' And thiakiD' of these things mom, ort to make us considerable patient ton, williu' to M'ork, and willin "to wait ; knovrin' that get- tin' raad and actin' haint a goin' to help us a mite ; knowin' that the seeds ot good and right, planted with tears and prayers, are bound to spring up triumphant ; knowin' that the laughin' and cold sneers of the mul- titude haint a goin' to frost bite 'em ; know in' that the tears of weak- ness, and weai'iuess and lonelinness, fallin' from human eyes over the hoe handle in plantin' time, only moistens the god, and kinder loosens it up first-rate. And that cTan the ashes of persecution, and all the blood that falls in righteous cause, only nourishes the snowy flowers and golden grain «f the future. Mebby it is our mission to clear away trees and stumps — sort o' wood choppers, or sawyers — I don't care a mite what I am called. We may never see the seed spring up ; we may not be here when it breaks through the dark mould triumphant ; but somebody will see it ; happy skies will bend over it ; happy hearts will hail it ; and if Freedom, Truth, and Justice is remember- ed, what matters it if Josiah Allen's wife is forgotten." Says she, " I toill hammer 'em." I declare for't I had forgot where I was, and who I was, and who she was, and who Josiah was — I was carried away such a dis- tance by my emotions. But her remark soared up like a brass pin or a tack nail, and pierced my wrapped mood. I see I hadn't convinced her, her eyes looked wild and tularin'. " Well," says I, "if you do you will prob- able have the worst of it, besides iujuriu' the hammer." Jest at that very minute I see Josiah a oomin', and I watched that beloved and ap- proachin' form for niebby half or two thirds of a minute, and when I looked round again she was gone, and I was glad on't ; I never liked her looks. And in a few minutes Miss Bean come too, and says she : "Don't you want to go and see some relicks ?" Says I, " I haint particular either way. Beiu' a respectable married woman with a livin' {>ardner of my own, I shant make no move either way, I shant run towards 'em or from 'em. Uavin' lired a vegetable widow for so many years, I s'pose you feel different about relicks." Says she, " I mean relicks from Jerusalem «nd other old places, made out of wood from Mount Olive, and the cross, and the Holy Sepulchre, and so 4th. " And then she kinder whispered to me : " They do say that they have used up more than ten cords o. stove-wood right here in the village 3^ PhiJadelphy a makin' relicks for Turks to sell —Turks right from Ireland. " Says she, I " You are so awful patriotio you ort to see George Washington's clothes, and old Inde. [ pendence Hall, and Liberty bell." Says I in agitated axents : "Cousin Beaal has George Washington got any clothes here totheSentinal?" " Yes," says she, "they are in the Umt«d| States Government Baildia'." I gripped holt of her hand, and says I, " Lead me there instantly 1" and she led the I way to the buUdin.' But though I see everything on my wsyl and more too seemin'ly, I didn't seem to I sense anything as it should be sensed, till I stood before them relicks; and then, oh 1 1 what feelin's I did feel as I see that coat and! vest that George had buttoned up so man; [ times over true patriotism, truthfulness, aud I honour. When I see the bed he had slept I on, the little round table he had eat on, the! wooden bottomed chair he had sot down ou, the belluses he had blowed the fire with in I cold storms and discouragements; and then I to see the bed quilts worked by his own | mother, and to think what powerful emo' tions, what burnin' plans, what eager hopes, and what dark despairs they had covered up I in 76. And then to see — a layin' on the bed | — the cane that Benjamin give to George, and to see George's glasses and candle stick, and trunks and etcetery. Why, they all I rousted up my mind so, that I told Joai;ihl| mnst see Independence Hall before I slept, or I wouldn't answer for the consequences, I I was fearfully rousted up in my mind, aa| much so as if my emotions had been all stir- reil up with that little hatchet that G. VV, | couldn't tell a lie with. Leavin' Miss Bean, we stai-ted of for Inde] pendence Hall. What feelins I felt, as 1 stood in the room where our 4 fathers signed the papers givin' their children liber. \; where them old fathers signed thedtvl without flinchiu' a hair, tliou^h they well I knew that it had got to be staled red ^vitli their blood. To stand on that very Hoor — kinder checkered off — that they had st jd 1 1 on, to see them very chairs that they in sot in, and then to see their brave, heroic i faces a lookin' down on me — I felt strangp, curious. And there was that old bell that | liad rung out the old slavery and oppression, and rung in the new times of freedom and I liberty. My emotions tuckered me out so that when I got to sleep that night, I was! dreamin' that I was upon the top of th,it| bell a swingiu' over the land, soarin' right back and forth ; a swingin' back into them| times that tried men's and wimraen's souls, and then forth again into the glorious nine-; teenth century. I had a awful time of it, I and so did Josiah, and I wouldn't go through I Mm ANOTHER DAY ON THE GROUNDS. 125 t again for a dollar bill, and Joaiah saya he wouldn't. ANOTHER DAT ON THE GROlJirDH. The next mornin' we got onto the grounds early and took a short tower through the Main Baildin' when Joaiah aaya to vat '.11 of a sudden : " Less go and be elevated Satnantha !" Says I, •' What do you mean, Joaiah Allen ?" I was skairt ; I thought he was I goin* the way of luuys. " Why," says h« "I mean less go and be [ elevated up in the elevator." "Oh !" says I, " I thought you wanted me I to go and git intoxicated with you." I didn't blame Joaiah, for I knew it was a I principle implanted in his sect to see all they could see, but still I hung back ; I didn't 1 feel like it ; somehow I didn't feel like bein' I elevated ; and knowin' what would be the [Strongest argument to bear onto him, I I mentioned the expense, but he argued back I again : " Ten cents won't make or break at. Do I less be elevated Samantha ; come on, less." So seein' he was determined on't, we went I back again into the Main Buildin' and was elevated. And what a siprht that was that was spread out below us. Never shall I for- get it while memory sits up in her high [chair. As I looked on it all, I couldn't [think of but jest one thing, how the — the — I D — D — David took the Master up on a high [mpuntain, and showed him all the kingdoms and glory ef the world, aad — Josiah hunch- led me jest then and seys he : "Haiut you [glad I took you up here, Samantha ?" And then I told him what I was thinkin' [of,, and he didn't seem to like it ; he wanted I to Iknow in a cross, surly tone " if I was a hingin' on him ;" I told him I wasn't. * And then we traipsed around to see several I oth^r things, until I was tired completely [out. I thought seein' so much would sort lo' quiet Joaiah down, but it only made him more rampant to see more ; he wanted to see some wild beasts ; he said he wanted to go [to the bear pits. Says I, "/don't wattt to see any wild [beasts." "Well," says he, " you set down here and [rest, and I will come back in half an hour or I three quarters." ^o he left me, and soon aftdr, I thought ;I would saunter around the grounds all alone by myoelf, and while doin' so, |I anrrove at the same fountain I and tJosiah had looked upon several days previous ; where the beautiful girls was lupholdin' the platter oo which the water hva^ a fallin' ; and as my eyes fell upon it Hhoy also fell upon the foim of my Josiah, a gazin' upon the female figgers in wrapped attention. But as I have remarked once before (I be- lieve), I haint a jealous hair in my head, but I can't deny that I was dumbfoundered now. I tor>k him tirmly by the arm ; says I : " What are you a lookin' at, Josiah Allen ?" He was awful surprised ; but it's wonder- ful how the male sect will turn off anything. Says he: "I was adniirin' the water, Sa- mantha, how beautiful it biles up and then falls down in the platter. " And he turned round to the fountain. Says I, "Josiah Allen, are these the wild beasts, is this the bear pit you wanted to see?" And I atlded in dry tones: "You had better hereafter remain near your pardner." And I led him away. We sauntered along for some time, but Josiah was dretful uneasy. I never see him so rest- less ; and anon, says he : "I feel to- day, somehow, Samantha, jest like meanderins." I see it was no use to restrain him, and says I : Well, you can keep right on meanderin', but /can't meander another step." Says T — wipin' my heated forward on my wJiite cotton handkerchief — "I have meandered too much now for my own good, and I must go to some quiet spot, where I can rest both my limbs and the eyes of my spectacles, for they are both fearfully weary. I must have a little quiet, Josiah Allen. " Says he "How will you git holt of any quiet here, Samantha ?" Says I, "I have heerd it is to be obtained down in the raven between this Uall and the Artemus Gallery ;" so he said he would meet me there in a couple of hours, and started ofif. The raven (probable so called from ravens bein' found there in the past) is perfectly de- lightful. A brook goes lauehin' through it ; there is beautiful shady walks and bridges, easy benches are to be found under the groat noble forest trees, and there is green grass, aud ferns, and daisies, and a spring with a tin-dipper. It is a lovely place, and I sot down feelin' first-rate. Nobody's arms, not even the mosj trained nurses, can rest a tired baby so well as its mother's; nobody can rest the weary, and fatigued out like Nater. I hadn't been there more'n 2 minutes before I begun to feel rested off, and as it is my way to do, I begun to think deeply and allegore to my* self. Thinks'es I, here I be in Peunsylvany; and then I went to thinkin' of Penn — thought what a noble, good man he was; thinks'es I, no wondered the Pennsylvanyans have pros- pered ; no wonder the Sentinal stands firm, for they all stand on ground honestly bought from their true owners, by that noble Penn, and paid for. m ]h *■., .>jr i 126 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. •D^ ?^.^, Hi'-' ■ 1 'tit And thon I thoaght a sight about Fenti; how firm his scalp always stood, how peace- ful his frontiers was, and I wondered if thore would be so much Injua difficulty if the spirit of honesty, justice,and truth, that he showed to the Injuns, could be showed to 'em now. Anyway, as I sot there, I wished eloquently to myself, that when he ascended to the Heavens prepared for just men, his mantilly could have fell onto the men who make our laws, and could be wore now in Washington by them, and laid gracefully aoorost the In- jun Buro. I was jest a thinkin' this to myself when I see a dretful pleasant lookin' lady come and aet down on a bench only a little ways from me. She had such a good look onto her that I says to a man who happened to be a goin' by where I sot, " Can you tell m who that lady is !" "Mrs. Ulysses Grant,' days he. "Not she that was Julia Dent ?" ^.Jiyn I. "Yti9," says he. I walked right up to her and says I — hoMin' out my hand in a warm and af- fectionate manner : •* How do you do, Julia? I am highly ti«kled to see you ; how does the baby do — and how does Mr. Dont'aes folks do 7 Are they all so as to be about!" says I, "I am Josiah Allen's wife. " " Oh 1" says'she, "I have heard my haa> band speak of you." And she shook hands with me, and made room on the buaoh for me to set down by her. "Yes," says I, "I rescued him when he called for peace and couldn't find it; I had the honour of savin' him from pain and Betsy Bobbet." I thought I would ex- plain it to her, though she didn't act jealous a mite. But it is always beat to explain to wimmen jest what business j^^ and her pardner have been talk in' out.' It may save some bad feelin' towards yoUf and some oar* tain lectures for him. Says I, " I had a talk with ymx husband in the cause of Right, and advised the Na* tion promiscously through him. Bnt Utore was several other things I wanted to say, but I see he was gittin' hungry,and so, of course, fractious and worrysome, and I stopped ina minute, for I well know there is a time to advise men, and a time to refrain from it." Says I, "Wimmen who have had a man to deal with for any length of time, learn to take advantage of times and seasons." I see by her looks she didn't want no tn* torin' on that subject — she haint nobody's fooL Says she, "What did you want to apeak to my husband about f Says I, "I wanted to talk to him more about the Injuns." Says she, "My husband has honestly tried to do the best he oould with 'em. " Says I, " I believe it Julia ; I believe it from nearly the bottom of my heart. " Says she, "They are a low, dirty, degraded race." Says I, "It haint reasonable to expect to git high-toned virtues and principles from igrforance and superstition. Think of mind h narrowed down to one thought, by a total lack of culture and objects of interest ; think of their constant broodin' over the centuries of wrongs they think they have endureil from the white race ; and what wonder is it that this spirit flames out occasionally iu deeds that make the world shudder. And then, people will shot their eyes to the causes that led to it, and lift up their hands in hor- ror, and cry out for extermination." Says JuUa, "It is Destiny; it is the wave of civilisation and progress that is movin' on from the East to the NVest. The great resist- less wave whose rush and might nothiu' can withstand. Rushin' |;randly onward, sweepin' down all obstacles m its path. " Says I, "Julia, that is a sublime idee of youru, very sublime, and dretful comfortin' to the waves ;but lei; me ask you in a friend- ly way, haint it a little tough on .the obsta- cles?'' She said that it was, though she hadn't never looked at it in that light before. "Yes," gays I, "I know jest how it is; you have looked at the idee with a wave. But that wont do Julia look at an idee we must look at it than one side ; we must look at it the eye of ; when we from more with sev- eral pair of eyes in order to git the right light onto it ;" says I, "I don't blame you for lookin* at it with the eye of a wave — a noble, sublime eye^full of power, and might, and glory, 'calm and stiddy as eternity. And tiien to be fair, we ort to look at it with the eye of a obstacle, pleadin', and frightened, and melancholly, with a prophecy of comiu' doom. And when we s posen the case, it wont do for us to s'posen ourselves waves all the hull time, we must, in order to be just, s'posen ourselves obstacles part of the timo. And sWaea you was a obstacle, Julia, and your Ulysses was one, and a'poaen I was one, and my Josiah waa another one; this wouldn't hinder ua from bein' faint when we hadn't nothin' to eat ; and our legs from aohin' when we had been drove clear from the Atlantic to the Pacific; and our hearti from grievin' when we was forced from our homes to let our enemies live there ; and our eyes from rainin' floods of tears when they see our loved ones fallin' by our side for de- fendin' our homes from what we look upon as a invader. It wouldn't hinder our hearts from breakin' when we was drove off and de- nied the right even to weep over the graves ANOTHER DAY ON THE GROUNDS. Ii7 where onr hopes was a lyin* buried up with our beloved obstacles." Julia was almost in tears, but she reminded me that they only used the land for low, tri- flin' pursuits; such as huntin' and other worthless amnsenwDts ; that we pat it to bet^-er use. Says I, "Julia, I haint a denyin' of it, I haint said, and I haint a goru' to say that it wasn't necessary to plough up and smooth out their graveyards to make race courses and base ball and crukay grounds for our nobler race ; I haint denied it ; I was only remindin' you that it seemed to be un- common toufi;h on 'em, that is alL I think on 'em a sight," says I, "how they used to own the hull of tms continent ; a friendly, peaceable set Columbus said they was ; would have done anything for him, knelt right down and worshipped him, they was so glad to see him. It seeras sort o' pitiful to me, to think that they looked with such reverent admirin' eyes on the comin' race that was to destroy 'em ; knelt down and kissed the white hands that was to strike 'em such fearful blows ; thought thoy come right down from heaven ; and how soon they didn't think so — how soon they thought they come from a diflferent place. I s'pese they was a simple, well meanin', childlike lot, livin' so near to Nater, that they got nearer to her heart than we can ever think of git- tin'. And the mountaius^and waters cling to their names yet ; it seems as if they don't forget 'em ; the Alleghany's seem to be a liftin' up their heads a lookin' for the AUe- ghanies and wonderin' what has become of em. The Deleware seems to bearnshin' along clear to the sea, a huntin' for the Dela- ware ; and Huron and Erie eit fairly mad, and storm and rage a hoUerin' tor the Hnrons and Eries ; and old Ontario, I never see her but what she seems to be a murmurin' and whisperin' sunthin' about the Ontarios ; her blue waters have a sort of a mournful sound to me ; a nevermore sounds in the wave as it swashes up on the beach, as if it was a cry in' out to me, askin' me what we have done with 'em. Her great breast seems to be a heavin' up and sithiu' for the fate of them whose canoes used to float on her bosom — them light canoes that have flo^ited off further and further, till pretty soon the last one will float off into that oeian whose further shore we haint never seen." Says Julia, "I will speak to my husband on the subject at once." Says I, " So do ; and choose the time when he is cleverer than common, jest as I woold deal with my Josiah. " Then I told her that I would be glad to stay right by her all the afternoon, I felt such a friendship for her, butsays I, " Yon know, Julia, that even respect and admira- tion, when they come in conflict with luvi-. bave to stand back ; and my companion, 1 know, is almost famishiu' with hunger, and I have got the key to the satchel bag cun- tainin' our lunch ;" and says I, "you know what ravages hanger makes in a man. " She said she knew it well, and that I was pci- fectly excusable. And Ibid her good -b;,r and started on towards the place where 1 promised to meet mv Josiah. I found hini .> watchiu' the satchel bag with a gloomy anw fractious face, but after he eat he looUc^' well and happy again. His plan for the ul ternoon was to see all the live stock on tlu: ground, all the iron work, the mineral an- nex, the warlike preparations of the diirerout nations, their ships and farmin' tools, tli<' dairy, brewe^, the model of Paris, tb<; newspaper omces, tixe light-houses, cheese factory, waggon i^ops, wind mills, and the different tarverns, and he sot right out. The statement of his plan — added to my meanderins and outlay of eloquence — had wearied me nearly out, but I knew well where to go and git rested. I knew what could take me right up— though my heft wait great — and waft me on into a land where weariness was never admitted through its gate, wheie pain and tiredness and care nevei climbed over its fence. I didn't know whether to go and be lifted up to this beau tiful realm oy the music in the glen, or the piano and organ concert in the Main Build in", but finally I chose the latter. And seatiu' my body on a seat I peacefully left this weary world, and for about a half or three quarters of an hour I was a triumphant and blessed citizen of that other world which is so near to ours that we can be trans- ported to it in half a moment, and so fur ofi* that no one can ever find the path a leadin' to it, or tell how it is bounded, or how big it is, or who made it, or why it was made, oi anything. But that it is a land of entrancin' beauty and delight, that we all know ; and I don't know but I should have lingered in it all day if a rollin' chair coutainin a woman hadn't rolled right on to me as I sot on the end of the seat ; and betn' rousted up and brought down to the world again, thinks'es I, I will take a short roll round the buildin' myself. So I beconed to a yonna; feller whose chair a lady had jest got out of, and took her place ; but the move wasn't a happvfyin' one to me ; I got to thinkin'; thinlu'es I, who knows where he'll roll me off to— no knowin' but what all of a sadden he'll take » etart and nin with me olear out of sight I put in a appearanoe of oalm, and I thongnt I'd tiy to stand it a little lonoer, for I knew he'd think strangf my gittin°out so Bat I couldn't seem to sense a thing 1 j h 'iS^ f* 128 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE. I) •»: r ' see ; I kep' a thinkin' of Josiah and the peril he was in mebby ; I tnrned round and looked at the chap, and I roistrusted he looked sort o' wild out of bis eye ; und I told him in agi- tated axenti that if hewas wiliin'I'd pay him for the hull hour I bargained for and git out on the spot. He seemed wiliin', and I descended down out of the chair, and was glad of the chance. Then I went and sot down on a bench by the noble fountain of Mosea and Tempeiancu and I was episodin' to myself what a hard time Mr. Moses did have in the wilderness, and how he made water come out of a rock. And I wandered dreamily if he was here now if he wouldn't have to ffive a harder knock ag'inst rooky hearts and the rooks of selfishness and cnatom, before he made water flow instead of likker; when tirst 7 knew, Josiah come and sot right down by me, and says he: "Yon know I told you this mornin' Sam.*otha, about the 'Creation Searchers' all wanderin' off last night asearchin' round and gittin' lost again, and now Shakespeare Bobbet estimated that they had travelled in the neighbourhood of one hundred and forty miles, and that he thought his father and old Dagget would be bed rid for life; and how that Shakespeare had shipped 'em home this moruin' by oar load — he goin' along to lift 'em round, and keep 'em together — all but Solomon Cypher, Cornelias Cork, and the Editor of the Auger." "Yes," says I, "you told me of it, but what of it ?" "Well," says b«, the tiiree 'Creation Searchers' that was left are in jail." "In jail, Josiah Allen ?" "Yes, in jail for playin' horse and diatnrb- in' the peace. Sam Snyder has jest told me tile partionlars. They got to thinkin' I s'pose, how many sorscpes they had got into sense they was here as a body; how muoh money they had lost, and how much fun had been made of 'em ; and they seemed to lose every mite of dignity, and every spec of decency they had got about 'em, and they all got drunk as fools—" Says I warmly, "I told the Nation jest how it would be, and I told pou Josiah, bat yon wouldn't believe me, neither on yoa, and now there is Solomon Cypher drunk as a fool; mebby yoa'U hear to me another time, Josiah Allen." Says Josiah with a doomy look, "I don't we what you want to lay it all to me for ; their sellin' likker here to the Sentimental WMn'ttny doin'a." "Well, you sort o' apholded tl^ Nation in it; did th»j oi^oh, 'cm here to tha Smtiiial, Josiah ?** "No, they^t their likker heretandthentliey went down uto Vk» TiUaga a oattin' ap at^ - actin' every step of the way ; and when they catohed 'em they was playin' horse right in front of the meetin' house. Cornelius jiikI the Editor was horses aud old Cypher th'\ aay had got holt of their galluses a drivia' 'em double; and he was a yellin'and cluckin' to 'em to git up, and they was a pranciii' and a snortin', and the Editor of the Au^er was preteudin' to be balky, and was a kit ;:. m' upandawhinnerin'; the likker had mule three perfect fools of 'em. And what gaiili me," says he with a depreated look, "isi,that a relation of ourn by marriage should be in the scrape; it will make such talk; and we mixed up in it." Says 1 calmly but firmly, "fie must have a bail put onto him. " •* / won't put it on," says he — and he ad- ded in a loud mad tone — "be won't get no bails put onto him by me, not » darned baU.'^ "Well," says I, "If you haint no pity by you, you can probable stop swearin' if you set out to. "rhey are relations on your side Josiah Allen. " "Throw the Widder in my laoe again will you!" says he, "if she was fool enough to marry him, she may take care of him for all of me, and if she wants any bails put onto him, she may put 'em on herself." Says 1 lookin' my pardner calmly in the eye. "Ort from ort leaves how many Josiah Allen?" "Ort," says ye, and snapped out, "what of it ? What do you go a prancin* off into Kithmatic for, such a time as this ?" Says I mildly, for principle held my tem- per by the reins, a leadin' me along in the harness first-rate, "When you reckon up a row of orts and git *em to amount to ,any- thing, or git anything from 'em to carry ,'then you can set the bride to doin' sumthin' and expect to have it done;" says I, "won't Sam Snyder succor him ?" "No he won't; he says he won't and there haint a Jonesvillian that will; yon won't catch 'em at it." "Well," says I firmly, with a mean that mastihave looked considerable like a cer- tain persons, at Smithfield when he was bein' set fire to ; "if yon nor nobody else won't gc and help put a bail onto Solomon Cypher, /shall.* And then Josiah hollered np and asked me if I was a dumb fool, and twitted me how hanty and overbearin' Solomon had been to wimmen, how he had looked down on me and acted. But says I calmly, '* Josiah Allen, yoa have lived with me month after montii, and year after year, and yon don't seem to reidize the sice and he for the reformin' of the criminals, and makin' of 'em better. Atid that ia why I never could believe that ohokin' folks to death was the wav to reform 'em, and make better eitisens of >m. I found the bride settin' like a statute of grief on a bench, a groanin' and weepin' and callin' wildly on Doodle, and sayin' if he waa alive she wouldn't be in that perdickerment — which I couldn't deny and didn't try to. But I told her firmly that this was no time to in- dulge in her fedin'a, or eaU on Doodle, and ~ if she aho wanted a bail pat onto Solomon Cypher, we most haaten to hia dungeon. So we hurried onwards, and right in the path we metOen. Hawley; and even then, in that curious time, I thou^t I never did see a handsomer, well meaniner face than hissen. And now it looked better than ever for it had pity ointo it, which will make even humbly> nesslook welL That man lespects me deeply; he see the mission I was a penormin' on, and the hefty principles I was « earryin' round with me on a tower, and now as he looked at m^ agitated face and then at the weepin' bnde, he stopped and says in that honest mod wey of hisen, and with that dretfol oevsr look to his syas: a " Josiah Allen's wife, yon are ia troaUsf can I help yon in any way f* "No," says I, "not now yea oan't" 1 put a awful raeaoin' axent onto that * now,' and says he: " Do I understand yon to say Madaai that at some future time I can ? Yon know yo« can command me. '' (A better dispositioned, aeoommodatiBer, well meaniner man, never walked afoot; I knew that from the first on't) Bat tety and justice hunched me up, one on each side;, and says I sadly, " My advice wasn't took, the Sentinal was licensed, and Solomon Cy- pher is drunk as a fool." He felt bad; he sithed, to think after aU I had said and done about it, the Sentinal was licensed, and someof my folks had gotdnnk. It mortified him dretfuUy I know, bnt I wouldn't say anything to make him fssl any worse, and I only says, says I: "The Nation wouldn't toks ay sdviee, and vou see if it don't sup sorrow for it; von see if it don't see worse effects from it than Solomon Cypher's gittin' drank sad phkyss* horse. And if you see mo to tte next Scntl' nal, Joseph, yon jest tell me if I haint in A* right on't." But I hadn't no time to nraltiply aaf aMva words with him, for the hrido arsMsd est agonizin'l^, and called on Dood]* sad hia linement in such a heart-l»eakin' way, thcj was enov|^ to draw tsan from a soap ston. But I will pass OTsr my snfferin's of mind, body and ears, onlv sayin' that they waa truly tegus, till at last we stood oefore th* recumbard form of Solomon Cypher a layin' stretched out on the floor in as nnoomfort' able a position as I ever sot my eyes on; h* looked almost exactly like a »Sl swine that Josiah had in tiie spring. Bnt I hone ta goodness the swine won't nsTer hear I asM BO, if it should, I should be apologize to it, for that got whey, which is a far nobler sie k n e ss than likker sickness. And then tha Lotd had made that a brute by nater, and it hadn't gone to work and made itself so aa Sek m em had. But oh! how the bride did weep and cry as she looked down on him, and how hsari* rendin' she did call on Doodle, sayin' ii he had lived she wonldn't have bean in tkai predickerment; it ous. And welefthimaflir leavin* aoma i to have him let ont Jert as quick aa ha eonld walk. I didn't try to do anvthiM for Cor- nelius Cork or the Editor of tiia Angnr'sea case. I was completdy tadBsrad oat; and in the mornin' I waa so lasM that I couldn't hardly stand - *' Whati I want to know it, what w» are goinVto have for supper; there haint no bread MriBOtliiiiV Mid I'd as liyes eat baas-wood chips and shingles as to eat Betsy Sliaip. Key's oockin'." But I says in tender tones, for I knew I could soothe him down instantly: — "How long will it take your pardner, Jo- siah Allen, to make a mess of cream biscuit, and broil some of that nice steak we jest got to Jonesrille, and mash up some potatoes ! And you know," says I iu the same gentlt axents, " there is good butter andcheeae and honey and canned peaches and everything right in the suller. " AIL the while I was speakin', my Josiah'i face be^nn to look happier and happier, and more peaceful and resigned, and as I finish- ed, and he got down to lielp me oat» he looked me radiantly and affectionately in the faos^ and says he : — " It is jest as you say, Saiaantha ) there'i no place like home." Says I, " I knew von would feel jest so | home when it is the home of the heart m well as the body, is almost a heaven below. And," I added in the same tones, or pretty nigh the same, " mebby you had better git me a littlu kindlin' wood Joaiah, before yoo unharness." He complied with my request and in about an hour's time we sot down to a supper good enough for a king, and Josiah said it was. He acted hajtpy, very, and exceedingly clever ; he had found everything right to the barn, and I also to the house, and w« felt welL And though we had held firm, and wouldn't have took no rash means to git rid of our trouble, it did seem such a blessed relief to be at rest from David Duodle ; it seemed so unutterably sweet not to have his liuemeut thro wed in oar faces every moment. Thomas J. wasu't comin' home till Satar« day. We see him and Tirzah Ann as we come through Jouesville, and they said ths last of the ' Creation Searchers had got home, but their conduct had leaked out through the bride and the Editw af ths Auger'ses wife and they dassant go ont in the street, any one of 'em, they had so mnoh fun poked at' em. Betsy come in at night t she had been to Miss Daggets to work, and she had a flour sack with some beans, and other provisions. Says I in pityin' azenta, ** How do 701 do^ Betsy f Well she said sha anjoyad real po«r health ; she had tf,ot the smnglet the warst kind, and a swelled neck, and tha newralhn, and the ganders, and says she, " Having support a big family in this condition i it hard for me." Don't > our Ltt^^band help yoa any, Bet- sy t" says I. " Oh T" says sh^ *'ha ia down^ witk «he Betay Sliap. THE REUNION. ISl for I knew I ftly:_ ir pardner, Jo. cream biscuit, eak we jeit got j>ine potato«s ? [e aame gentlt landoheeae and id everjrthing ', myJosiah'i happier, and i(t ai I tinish- I out^ he looked |y in the £aoe» ithaj there'i Id feel jest lo | the heart ai heaven below, onea, or pretty had better git ah, before yoa st and in aboat a supper good 1 said it was. d exceedingly liiig right to >ouse, and wt »d held firm, Ash means to seem such a I from Darid terably svreet owed in oar )metill Sator- ih Ann as we t)bey said the era had got 1 leaked oat iditor af th« it go oat in ' had so maok s in at night t o work, and beans, «id iow do yo« d real poor aotho wont lio newimlu[y, " H«diB?io idition horrers the hull time," says she, "my work days haiiit halt so bad as the bard times I have nights," she said she didn't git no sleep at all hardly. Says I, "Haint you most sorry Botsy that you ever tried to git married 7" She felt so bad and was so disoonrv^cd and downhearted that she coma out the plainest I ever see her, and says she : "Josiah Allen's wife, I'll tell you the truth t If it wasn't for the name of bein' married, and the dignity I got by bein' in that state, I should be sorry as I could be ; bat," says she as she lifted her flour sack of provisions onto her tired shoulders previous to startin' home, " I wouldn't part with the dignity I got by bein' married, not for a ton «ont bill, as bad as I want monoy, and •■ mnoh at I need it." m any. Bet- THE REVNION. The momin' of the fourteenth of Septem* ber dawned fair and peacefully The sun rose up considerable early in the mornin', and looked down with a calm and serene face upon Joneaville and the earth. And not fur from the same time, I too, rose up and with as calm and serene a face as hiaen, I went to work and got a excellent breakfast for my Josiah and me. It was the day we had looked forred to for a year. The deed that was to give our Tirzah Ann and her pardner a Aaudsome home lay in security in the depths Df my Josiah 'a vest pocket, and in the but- tery was a big basket full of as good vittlea as waa ever baked by woman— enough to laat 'em a week. The new carpets and honsen stuiT had been privately carried into the hoMse, unbeknown to them; and that very afternoon was the time we was a goin' to make 'em almost perfectly happy. Oh I how se- rene and noble I felt as 1 poured out my dish- water and washed my breakfast dishes. And as I washed and wiped I thought of the childern ; thought how well Thomas J. was a doin', and how Tirzah Ann and Whit- field' had been prospered ever seuie they took their bridal tower, I s'pose tney had a dretfnl hard time then ; I s'pose they suf- fered as mach agony on that bridal tower as any two bridab ever suffered in the same length of time. Tirzah Ann haint got over that tower to this day, and Whitfield looks mrd every time he hears the word mentioned. Thev have both told me sense (in stiiot oonndence) at two separate times, that if they was a goin' to bo married twenty-five times a piece, they had gone off on their last tower. Yoa see the way on' t was, Tirzah Ann — not bein' used to travfllin' — got lost. Whit- field left her a minute on the platform to go baok after her parasol, and she heerd'em say, "All aboard," and she thongbt she niuho git on that minute or die. He, sccin' Hhle as if they was raked up on a coaL And then she would look at 'Tirzah Ann's clothes that was spilte — when she fainted away, and' was fetcned to by water — and kinder hint that she had fell into some creek. I s'pose she kep' Tirsah Ann on the tender-hooks tho hull time, without say in' a word they could resent or make her take back. And then she and Whitfield was dressed up all the time, and wanted to act natteral, and couldn't — felt as if they must behave beautiful, and polite every minute. Why I I s'pose they got so sick of each other that they wished, both of 'em, that they had lived single, till they died of old age. And then on their way back they both bad thr 132 JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFR I ■ 1 't: jlind headache, every step of the way, lonjjhed their heads most off, and whooped — Tirzah Ann told me — as if they was :;wo wild Injuns on m war path, frnly they had got enough of weddin' M)wers to last through a long life. Somehow Thomas JefTeraon always felt iifferent about such things'. I've heerd him and Tirzah Ann — before she was mar- ried — argue about it, time and again. He «aid he couldn't for his life see why folks felt as if they had got to go a caperin' off lomewhere, the minute they was married — ftnd to tell the plain truth, I, myself, never could see the necessity, when they both feel as strange as strange can be, to think of coin' off into a strange laud to feel strange dn. It is curious enougli and solemn enough to cuter into \ new life, untried, crowded full lii poisibilities for happiness or misery, if you face that future calmly and with bodily ease. It is a new^ life, not to ha entered into hi,!j;}ilariously, tired to death, and wild as two lunys, at the rate of twenty miles an hour, amidst the screechiu's of omnibus drivers and pop com peddlers, but with calmness, meditation, and prayer. That is my idee ; howsumever, everybody to their own. And then another thing that made Tirzah Ann's tower so uwful tryin'; she had wore herself down almost to a skeleton and got irritable and nervous, a makin' tattin, and «mbroideries ; for she telt she couldn't be married till she had got her nineteenth •ttit all trimmed off to the extreme of the fadaon. Thomas J. and Maggy (the;^ think alike on most things) always felt different about that. I have heerd Maggy say that slie never could understand why it was necessary fur a girl to make up such a stupeudus amount of clothin' to marry one man — in a man she had seen every day from her youth up. She said that any civilized young woman who respected herself, would have enough clothin' by her all the time to be .comfortable and meet any other emergency of lifrt ; and she couldn't understand why her marryin' to a mild dispositioned young man, should render it imperative to disable suvoral dressmakers, make mothers lunatics witli fine sewin', and work themselves do.vn to a complete skeleton, makin' up as many gar- ments as if they was goin' for life i:ito a land where needles was unknown, anil side thimbles was no nure. And to tell the truth I joined with her ; I always thought that health and a good dis- positiuu would be more useful, and go fur- ther than tattin' in the carej and em agen- cies of married life ; and that girls would do better to spend some of their time a makin* weddin' garments for their souls, gettin' ready the white robes of patience and gentle- ness, and long sufferin's. They'll need them, every rag on 'em if they are married any length of time. But everybody has their ways, and Tirzah Ann had hers, and truly she had the worst of it. I finished washin' my dishes, and then I brought out my linen dress and cape, and my common bunnet, so's to havo everything ready. Jest as I come out with 'em on my arm. Thomas J. come in, and says he : " XVear your best shawl and bunnet this afternoon, won't you mother ?" Says I, "Why, Thomas Jefferaonf Kays he, " I didn't know but yon wonld want to step into the Presbyteryun church this afternoon on your way down to Tirzah Ann's. There is a couple a goin' to bt raarried there at two o'clock." " Who be they Thomas J. ?" says I. Says he, ' It is a couple that don't want to bo gossiped about ; that think marriage is sunthin' too sacred and holy to be turned into a circus, with tinsel and foldcrols, and a big crowd of strangers a gazin' on — the wo- man dressed up for principal performer, and the man for a clown. A couple that wanti jest them they love best — " I dropped right down into a chair and pul up my gingham apron over my eyes and bust right out a cryin', and I couldn't have helped it, if Josiah had stood over me with a meat axe. I knew who it was that was goin' tc be married and most probable set OD for tbi west in the mornin*. Goin' way off wett my boy, my Thomas Jefferson. He comes up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder and said in a kind of a tremblin' voice — he tliiaks a sight of me, my boy does ; and then he knows enough to know that a new life is a serious thing to set out on, even if love goes with 'em- says he : *' I thought you loved Maggy, moth^." Says I, out from under my apron, "You know I do, Thomas Jetlerson, and you ort to know your mother well enough to know she is a cryin' for pleasure, pure enjoyment." I wasn't goin' to put no dampers onto my boy's happiness that day, not if he sot off the next minute for the Antipithes. He stood there for a moment with his hand on my shoulder, and then he bent down and kissed nie, and that was every word he said. Then he went up stairs to git ready. It seemd ho had jest to d his father to the barn, and Josiah come in all broke down about his goin' off west. Maggy was my choice, and hison, but the goin' west was where the cast-iron entered into our very souls. But when I see my companion's THE REUNION. 13:^ apron, "You companion s ■leui, Isaewlimre my duty lay, and I grasp* «d holt of it. I knew he was completely un* ■tnmg, and I had got to string him up by my example, or he would crumpleloompietelv 4own on my hands. I see if 1 kep' my Josiah eoUected together, I mnst keep my own com- posnrenp, andbeoalm. But while holdin' «p Duty and Josiah with almost marble grip» wnat f eelin's I felt when we was on our wav to title meetin* house. What feelin's I felt when I see Thomas J. and Maggy standin* up in front of the altar, and Elder C'olvin Kirk a marryin'of'em. Maggy was dressed np in a white mail dress, with some laoe ruffles lonnd her neck and wrists. Not a mite of jewelry on her from head to foot, only a little pearl eioss and ring that Thomas J. had give ner ; the ruffle round her neck was fastened in flront with some sweet white posey s— and she looked as pretty as the poseys herself, and prettier. Thomas Jefferson had on his beat suit of clothes, and oh! how good he did look to msi. And to think he was goin' way o£f where I couldn't lay my eyes on him, or her eitiicr t Why, if I had lesgo for a half a moment fnl good spirits, kep' a jokin' all suppsr time, and thiuks'es I to myself, " Yon musi must teel different from what I do^ if yom can face the idee of your child's goin' west with such highlarity and mirth." But truly, I wronged him; truly a shock was in store for us all; for as we got up from the supper table and went back into the sittin'* room, he stood up and says he iu a deep no- ble voice : (they say his voice sounds a good deal nobler, and deeper, sense he got to oe a Judge,) " Have you heerd that Doctor Bombns has had a dowery fall to him, and has give up doctoriu'?" " No ?" says I, and we all said "no f* ws hadn't heerd on't " Yes," sn* 8 he, he has "he doctored a woman up in ' - town of Lyme, and her husband settlea omO dollars a year on him for life." " He cured her," says I, "what grati- tude!" " No," says he. " he didn't cure her, fh« !.'U ^' JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIPE. N'f>' ilied, but the widower give him the dowery, .v,\ I lie is goin' co give up doterin'." The niimite he said "give up dooteriu'," tlie tiiought come to me; what a chance for niomas Jefferson I mehbyhe wouldn't have to go weat; and I felt as if there had been as many as seven flat-irons took offen my liaart, and two or three cannon balls, and some lead, and things. I looked at Jo- siah, :and Josiah looked at me, and we both smiled; wa couldn't help it. But better was a comin', for right while we was a swilin', the Judge spoke out again in a eloquent sort of a low tone : — " Whereas Josiah Allen and Samautha his wife, has presented a deed of this house and lot to their daughter and her husband aforesaid, I, the pa^y of the second part, I mean, I Judge Snow, have purchased of Dr. Bombus his practice, and ^t a deed of the house and lot adjoinin' this for you, S^ggy, and you, Thomas Jefferson, and may the Lord have mercy on your souls.'* I s'pose bein' so agitated, he forgot where he was, and thought he was indgin', aQd then he handed the deed to Maggy, and blew his nose hard. As for me, nobody need to ask me how any of 'em behaved, for the minute I see what was a comin', I almost buried my face in my handkerchief, and sobbed aud wept like a infant babe. But through my wrapped blisafulness of mood — for the ear of affection is keen — I could hear my Josiah a blowin' his nose, and I knew he too wan in rapture. Oh 1 oh ! what a time it was. But I hadn't time to weep long in my pure blissfulness of spirit, for Judge Snow pro- posed we should all walk over and see the house, and he took right holt of my arm and locked arms with me (he meant well, Josiah was right there) and we led the way, and Thom- as Jefferson and Maggy a foUerin'ashappyas auY two turtle doves I ever see, and then Whitfield and Tirzah Ann, and then Josiah and — well, who do you s'pose he was a wait- in' on. What female do you s'pose he was a eanyin' in his arraa, and wouldn't let no one else touch it if he could help it, and kissin' her tight before his lawful pudner too, and the enjoyin' of it? Who was it? I can't keep in a minate longer ; it was the baby — Tirzah Ann's little iufant babe. I have kep' still about it ; I have held the baby back to snrpnse the reader and happyfy 'em. And so the hull procession of us walked over the grass, green as green velvet, under the plea< saut shade trees, under the Uttle vine covered gate, and would give back to her all she had lost, and more. Knowin' the very loss of what iQie had loved and cher- ished most, that even what some foolish ones called decay and death, would be changed by His divine hand into deeper growth, di- viner beauty. Oh, how chirk and happy my companion did leak in his face ; and oh, hew sort o' lifted up, and yet dretful serene and happy- fied / felt in the inside of my mind. It was a beautiful time, Tory. Aud never did I see my pardner wear a more contented and happy look on his face when he sot down to a extra good dinner, than he did aa he saTS to ma— after lookin' at thababy insilenoeuem half to threa-quar- tera of a minute : ** Heaven bleaa every little girl and boy ia the land, far the sake of little Samanth* Jo I" And I felt so haadaomo and uncommoa happy in my nund, and ao wrapped ap la . Josiah, that I spoke right ap tnd says : **Yakand alltlM aid baya aad gwla taa | •BMal" !-::# ^ ^Mi^€.:^i^Mb^r