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A BOOK J^Oll THE TIMES. 
 
 I LUCY IWSTON; 
 
 o«. 
 
 Roman's jUgjjts anb Ifiritualisni: 
 
 ILLUATRAtlMd 
 
 TIIK FOLLIES AND DELUSIONS OP THE 
 NINKTEENTII CENTUHY. "^ 
 
 ■ff:'"'' 
 
 By FRED. FOLIO. 
 
 " Thit it the age of oddiliet let loose." 
 
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 TORONTO, C, W.u • 
 ALEXANDER DlC/Kv 
 . 1855. 
 

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 ■ TO T. P. MUNRAB, #S; 
 
 Dear Sir: — 7/ 
 
 THOUGH a stranger to your distinguished/ person, I feel 
 sufficiently intimate with you, through thoAedium of your 
 public career, to indulge the belief that you v/iW pardon me the 
 liberty I have taken in dedicating to you tbb following work. 
 
 I count myself most fortunate in the Accidental or predes- 
 tined conjunction of our '^stars," for, vL reality (as you will 
 see on perusal) your name in connection with the succeeding 
 volume is singularly appropriate, fromVthe fact, that notwith- 
 standing^ the perfection to which the afcienee of Natural History 
 had arrived during riie former half^f the present century, to 
 you alone belongs the immortal htonor of having first verified 
 the existence of that hitherto /abulous amalgamation of fish 
 aUd flesh — the Mermaid. ^ 
 
 To that discovery, my de^r Munrab, the following work 
 owes its being; and- r take this occasion publicly to express my 
 gratitude for the services you have rendered, not only to science 
 and the world in general, but to your humble servant in 
 particular. 
 
 Accept, then, the first fruits of one who appreciates your 
 character through all its phases of boy,.man, zoologist, plough- 
 man, poulterer and showman, and that your stature may never 
 be less, is the ardent wish of the author, 
 
 ^ Fred. Folio. 
 
■ I. 
 
 ■^1 
 
 F 
 
 I 
 
 r V- 
 
 r^vj^'f 
 
 
 ^ 
 
■'1 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 « « 
 
 READER, a word with you aside. 
 Yes, I have written a book ! 
 "What for?" And what for awcA a book ? 
 
 Why, secondarily, for fame, and moneij, of course. That is for myseJf. 
 But primarily, to fill up a leisure space, on the scpro of philanthropy ; 
 that is for yourself. To be sure, what do others write books for, if not 
 because they wish to do it. ' And why do theywish to do it, if not for 
 independence, (competence I mean,) and for the public good. And 
 now to save you the trouble of asking more questions, allow me to 
 say, you may laugh as much as you like, but do not get angered, or, 
 to express it a little more genteelly give play to your risibilities if you 
 find any thing to excite them, but stay your ire, for be assured we do 
 not mean you in any instance. Just " stick a pin here," and as we, 
 have met, so may wc continue, good friends. . 
 
 As to the selection of our subject, no doubt t)ut you will call it fitly 
 chosen. Lucky for the author, if, fortunately, you can say as much 
 of its treatment. Here is a point. Stay a momentj Are you opposed 
 to works of romance ? The evidence is at hand, to show that every 
 .page embraces more of Jtruth than of fiction. Would, for the credit of 
 human nature, it were shadow instead of substance. Facts, however, 
 can be adduced on the subject matter before us which cast the most 
 romantic romance entirely into the shade. " 
 
 But are you grave and an enemy to sati^?} Well, so are we, except 
 
 in certain cases. There is a time for every^ing, jy^ubject for every 
 
 style, and a style for every subject. Would you discharge a sevcnty- 
 
 . four pounder, loaded to the muzzle, to demolish a worm's nest! So, 
 
 nstances occur when irony and burlesque are aUke more apposite, and 
 
 1* ■■■ 
 
 X 
 
 M 
 
'\ 
 
 » 
 
 y 
 
 ■ i- ii 
 
 : -i 
 
 yi , Preface. 
 
 effective in the accomrlisbmcnt even of good, than the formidable array 
 of logic and sober argument. . 
 
 So thought Job. the i.iou3 J)atriarch, in answering his -tniscrablo 
 comforters, and Elii^ha, the prc^het, when he with'stood the priests of 
 Baal. Sedate reasoning is th0 distant cannonade whose spent balls 
 roll harmlessly through the opijning ranks of fanaticism, while merited 
 ridicule is the hand to hand assault and on whose lightning-like shafts 
 the hapless victims writhe in death agony. 
 
 Or, in less figurative phrase, homilies for th., thoughtful, restraints 
 for the headstrong, and a rod for the fool's back. ^ 
 
 So much by 'way of apology. A word further explanatory and di- 
 rectory, to prepare the way for the intelligent progress of the reader. 
 Some portions of the work may be called unnatural. Well, that 
 may be, but not more so, we Venture.to affirm, than the actual devel- 
 opment of human nature in thousnuds of cases. Who has not seen 
 individuals act very unnaM.ral? If truly represented, tfferefore, their 
 descriptions must appear aS unnatural as themselves. Would you 
 pr'aise an artist for painting a monster with coi^ely proportions, to 
 avoid the. charge of producing an unnatural picture of the human 
 'form? No matter how great the distortion or deformity, the true 
 painter will give a foe simile without flattery and without fear. How- 
 ever the fastidious and those who sec themselves reflected may .sneer, the 
 artist feels the satisfaction of k^t)wing that he has made a faithful 
 transcript of his subject. j 
 
 But the genuine critic will .conimand the integrity and skill of the 
 Umner who dares to stamp tr^h on his canvas, regardless of conse- 
 quences. And shall the litefary artist be less scrupulous? Should 
 we not be equally true,.to the life, as possible, in our delineations with 
 . the pel and the pencil ? \ 
 
 There are anomalies in human conduct, as well as in the human 
 
 form.or theoworks of nature. This fact, borne in mind, will save us 
 
 from the charge of incongruity in the characters hereafter introduced. 
 
 If, for instance, it be thoiight that Mrs. Wilson betrays undue ig- 
 
Preface. 
 
 vij 
 
 formidable army 
 
 ig his tniscrabio 
 od the priests of 
 hose spent balls 
 lu, while merited 
 jtning-likc shafts 
 
 ghtful, restraints 
 
 )lanatory and di- 
 Bss of the reader, 
 ural. Well, that 
 the actual dcvel- 
 ^ho has not seen 
 J, therefore, their 
 Ives. Would you 
 ;ly proportions, to 
 re of the human 
 jformity, the true 
 hout fear. IIow- 
 led may sneer, tlio 
 is made a faithful 
 
 y and skill of the 
 gardless of conse- 
 upulous? Should 
 r delineations with 
 
 I as in the human 
 
 mind, will save us 
 
 reafter introduced. 
 
 betrays undue ig- 
 
 „„™« «nJ j.Mo«.y, .t .., time, « h.,e only to m, *.' ec,u.l .tu- 
 pi.Hly m., often bo found InmucU loftier .tition, than .,tU«g. board- 
 
 inc-house. « . , * „- 
 
 So, if Miss Boston, now and then exhibits a want of judgment or 
 id" ,ense, at variance with the native and established nob.hty of her 
 Lracf^, set it down, not to the author, but the influence of erro, on 
 even the soundest and moat exalted minds. , 
 
 • In the case of Badger, especially, is an instance of a bram com- 
 pletely addled by fanaticism. In sbort. whatever may appear as in- 
 congruous or unnatural in any of the characters brought forward, it 
 only shows- the truth as it is-how far imposture, however absurd 
 can gain a footing, and what fanaticism does in making dupes^^^^^^^ 
 fools of otherwise very sensible people. How many intellects, great 
 and small, have thus been thrown from their balance, towander m the 
 mazes of folly or plunge into imbecility, infidelity and insanity. Sad 
 evidence of this have j.c in the mad-houses tenanted, families made 
 desolate and the God of Truth impeached by the zealots of Spiritualism 
 
 and Woman's Rights. ' ^ , ., v i •» ;« 
 
 Let the reader bear constantly in mind, that much of the book i« m 
 the form of prophetic revelation, and hence, the scenes are laid m the 
 future, but none the less truthfully on that account. We, indeed^ write 
 as a historian recording past event., but how we were transported so far 
 in advance of the picsent and enabled to note things as those already 
 come to pass, it is unnecessary to reveal. We will simply hint, how- 
 ever, that possibly there may be such a thing as a spiritual telegraph 
 .0 much quicker than tin.e itself, that whoever is put in connection 
 with it, gets the knowledge of current events long before they transpire. 
 But however much any one may doubt the prophetic portions of the fol- 
 lowing volume, that, by no means, invalidates the remainder, which 18 
 a v«i-itable record of existing facts. 
 
 •And now ye critics of patrician rank and authority ! Ye Conscnpt 
 Fathers of the Republic of Letters! Be propitious 1 If the inexpen- 
 enced traveler m the devious, doubtful path of authorship has shown 
 
 ^^ 
 
 -i^ 
 
■1- 
 
 Vlll 
 
 Preface. 
 
 1 
 
 l:^ 
 
 himself any thing; of a true man, tlien deign to hod on his juvenile 
 effbrt, and lead him up to the stars. 
 
 Or, if you find it Inexpedient to cheer him with the sunshine of your 
 smile, do not, I pray you, descend from the height of your most se- 
 rene seats to tread on an unfortunate and insignificant mortal, an ob- 
 Bcuro worker in this lower "sphere," yet whoso aspirations, if not his 
 deeds, merit your approval, not your scorn nor your ire, much less 
 your vindictiveness, if, indeed, such passions can dwell in your celestial 
 minds. Pardon the rashness of your supplicant, but were ye not once 
 habitants, mortal and obscure, like our humble self, in this nether 
 region ? IJhink, then, of whence ye sprung, and keep bottled the gall 
 and wormwood in which your red hot iron stiles are so often dipped. 
 Were ye not taught by your good mothers never to be so naughty 
 M to rob bird's nests ? 
 
 Let the memory of maternal instruction lead you to desist from 
 destroying this, our literary bantling, which never did you any harm, 
 and never can. v 
 
 O, ye gods and goddesses!- Jupiter Stators, Apollos, aiincrvas and 
 Vulcans, of criticism, 
 
 Consent to pass our imperfectlonB by; )■," 
 
 - ■ ■. I At least bend on VH an indulgent eye. 
 
 As to ty fanatical and splenetic, the prejudiced or malicious Spirit- 
 ualists and Woman's Rights clan, male and female, With their apolo- 
 gists, we have,no hope of propitiating them. They will, of course, 
 pour out the vials of their wrath upon the head of the unknown author! 
 Their vo9abulary will be exhausted in hard sayings against us, but it 
 wm only prove the old adage true, that a "wounded bird will flutter." 
 
 So do your worst, ye " strong minded " and ye '« spirit rappers." Wo 
 fear you not. Vain will all your eflbrts be to destroy our book. Written, 
 as it is, to expose to public contempt the two greatest humbugs of mod- 
 em time^, it will bo read by all sensible people, who are both disgusted . 
 with thejfomes and pained by the evils of Spiritualism and Woman's 
 Rights. 
 
"^ ■ 
 
 "'i 
 
 ou his juvenile 
 
 lunshine of your 
 ' youT most se- 
 ■ mortal, an ob- 
 tions, if not his 
 
 ire, much less 
 in your celestiol 
 ere ye not once 
 
 in this nether 
 bottled the gnll 
 > often dipped, 
 be. 80 naughty 
 
 to desist from 
 you any harm, 
 
 Mlucrvas and 
 
 ilicious Spirit- 
 li their apolo- 
 ill, of course, 
 known author, 
 inst us, but it 
 i will flutter." 
 rappers." Wo 
 •ook. Written, 
 ibugsofmod- 
 )oth disgusted ^ 
 and Woman's 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 INTRQpUCTOBY. 
 
 " Some books are lies frao end to end, 
 And Fome great lies were nercr jMjna'd, 
 But this that I am gaiin to tell 
 r juflt an tru's the Dell's In h—^J, 
 
 Or Dublin city." 
 
 ¥E recollect on a certain occasion, to have heard a clergy- 
 man give out. from the pulpit i», notice something as. 
 follows : " There will be a meeting of th'e female ladies of this 
 society, &c." — naming the time and place, but the object of 
 the meeting has this moment escaped our recollection. We 
 reraenjber, however, of being sorely puzzled, at the time, to com- 
 prehend his meaning; or to what order of bipeds a woman 
 would belong who was not Vi female woman. But to those who 
 may have the felicity of perusing the following delectable nar- 
 ration, the matter wiU be fully explained. In fact, many now 
 living are destined to see such changes as the history of the 
 past can no where produce. 
 
 Among the least of these novelties, is a new classification of 
 the human spQcios. Hitherto the division of the Genus IIovio 
 has been simply into male and female, but not long hence will 
 be seen a subdivision of the latter into ma.scM?t»e and /emtninc 
 
 .r 
 
 1 
 
 
 
10 
 
 Lucy Boston, 
 
 
 . » 
 
 .,r 
 
 .' I, 
 
 women; the former nppcllation attachinpf exclusively and dis- 
 tinctively to those who dou tlic bi-furcatod appendages of the 
 sterner sex, and lead the van in the ownward march of woman's 
 rights. > 
 
 ■\V o M A N ' a 11 1 o H T s , 
 Header, wc are about to give a vcritublo history of this 
 movement, in the course of which wc shall niukc di.sclosures of 
 a character so extraordinary, and open to the world events so 
 startling in their nature that we foar credulity it>clf will almost 
 doubt the authenticity of the simple narrative of facts which 
 we arc about to relate. 
 
 -, But in this, our exordium, wo wish distinctly to avow our 
 admiration of the sex in general, and oi fvmalc wouien'in par- 
 ticular ; also that we are not sfl fool-hardy as to undertake a 
 crusade against any of their long established rights. That they 
 have ever worn the breeches in a figurative sense, and indirect- 
 ly controlled the stronger sex, from Eve downward, as abso- 
 lutely as Napoleon his legions, no one in his sober senses will 
 for a moment deny, and any attempt to reverse or modify this 
 time established order would bo no less futile than Don Quix- 
 ote's encounter with the wind-mills, or the efforts of 3Irs.'Par- 
 tington to sweep back the tide of the ocean with her mop. 
 The Atlantic was indeed aroused, and so was Mrs. Partington- 
 ]3ut the contest was unequal, and after a gallant resist- 
 ance, Mrs. Partington, like other great souls under adverse 
 circumstances, was obliged to succumb as all would be 
 who should deny or seek to subvert the supremacy of wo- 
 man's will. 
 
 As to the matter of the work before us wc disclaim all re- 
 
F0LL1E8 OF THE XIXtH CeNTURY 
 
 11 
 
 isivcly and (li:^- 
 icutlagos of tlic 
 trch of woman's 
 
 history of this 
 c di.sclosures of 
 ivorld events .so 
 t.«*c'lf will almost 
 of facts which 
 
 tly to avow our 
 women'in par- 
 to undertake a 
 Its. That they 
 le, and indircct- 
 iward, as abso- 
 ber souses will 
 or modify this 
 han Don Quix- 
 ts of Mrs.'Par- 
 with her mop. 
 rs. Partington; 
 gallant resist- 
 under ad\'erse 
 all would be 
 remacy of wo- 
 
 lisclaim all re- 
 
 .ponsibili.,. Wo do not di,cuss any abstract pnncpto ot.,U 
 !r «„„g »inco all argument ou tbc subject, j,ro or co». .oM 
 ; a »o 1: or supererogation. It i» euuply a recor of .tone 
 1 ,, but ml, f-n. bUtory in general in the fol low.ng 
 : „ .ant particular. It is not a recital of pa»t events gleaned , 
 :l ,„us. documents, doubtful records, and sfll ...ore unccr_ 
 tain traditions, but ^history of tbo future as autben .e .,d 
 trne a, if drawn fron, .bat pri.nal bo,„e of ™'V ^^'f, ' ■" 
 botto,„ of a well." In fact, we bavo learned bcjorfrasbadow 
 of a doubt, tbat before tbo close of tbe present century U. 
 .elf.stylod " lords of er^rtion" will not o,.ly actually anlbU^- 
 i be .,.. .*,., but regarded tbo weaker vessel and treated 
 as such by their fair enslaver. _ , 
 
 nut, S» t"o ^''^P'-' -^"' "»" '' *■" -i^"'^. '""'"'■"" 
 .„ be effected? Not by sudden outbreak of warl.ko demon- 
 stration. Man was never tborongbly eon„uered by tbe broou.- 
 ::;;. „en,aybesubdued for tbe ti.o and lie. like un appy 
 Poland, at tho feet of his relentless subjugator ; but, l.ko 
 Poland, will be sei.e every favorable opportunity for revolt. 
 His submission is secured only by constant and unt.r.ng v.g.- 
 ,,„„ For tbe most part woman's auger, like the convuls.ons 
 of nature, is tcrriae, but docB not endure. Tbo s.onn-c ond 
 may gather, break and discharge itself, till ever^ley becomes 
 rniuiatur. sea; in an hour it has passed awa#I the golden 
 uoligbt flashes on bill atd plai, which look .11 the more 
 bricbt and glorious for the storm that has swept over them_ 
 Tl.: showers of April are quickly followed by the snnsb.ne of 
 May. So with woman, Her paroxysms of wrath arc soon 
 succeeded by the smiles of love and the kisses of peace. 
 
 ■ ^T^' 
 
♦ I 
 
 12 
 
 liUOY Boston. 
 
 » ri 
 
 Hi 
 
 A|j;oin8t open attack wc can defend ourselves. Woman is 
 powerful but in her own nphcro. "Pis not when she assumes 
 the "port of 3fura," but when she puts oi^ "t,ho angel to do 
 ceivo " that wc have ought to fear. And Ijorc, says the sapient 
 reader to himi^iclf, hero lies the danger. When woman "stoops 
 to conquer^' .when she brings into play her snules and her tears 
 with her thousand coquettish arts, in short when she 
 
 ^ *< Cornell to lay, 
 Her noU Of roKca in oar way," 
 
 then it is that losing our independence, wo suffer ourselves to 
 bo bound as with fetters of steel. Yet impotent as wo aro 
 under the enchantments of tho sex, a want of preconcerted and 
 united action on their part has thus far left us free. Let them 
 once realize their power, let them combine as well as "stoop to 
 conquer," and wc may well dread the re^lt. 
 
 Mark that tiny streamlet as it wends its way down tho 
 mountain slope. It issues fromglittering dew drops brushed 
 by the breath of spring from leaf and flower. Whispei^ng its 
 nothings to the summer breeze and coquetting with the flow- 
 erets that fringe its banks, it goes dancing to the sound of its 
 own liquid music and laughing to scorn the obstacles which 
 obstruct its progres?. Joined successively by sister streamlets, 
 anon, flWj aggregate swqIIs into the majestic river, rolling on- 
 ward to the ocean whose yielding but resistless folds encircle 
 the world. So with woman. She will lure us with^ syren 
 song, she will strew witn^arlands her conquering path, and 
 wreathe our chains yfit\\ ^liry favors till submissive, cringing 
 slavfes, we lie at h'er feet, then Sampson like, are wc delivered 
 into the hand3«of the Philistines. _^_^_^ 
 
 A ' 
 
 V . 
 
^ 
 
 18 
 
 res. Woman is 
 icn sho as8umo8 
 he angel to do 
 says the sapient 
 woman "stoops 
 lies uud her tears 
 on she 
 
 Ter ourselves to 
 potent as wo aro 
 jrcconcertcd and 
 free. Let them 
 ^cll as " stoop to 
 
 way down tho 
 J drops brushed 
 
 Whispening its 
 ig with the flow- 
 thc sound of its 
 obstacles which 
 sister streamlets, 
 river, rolling on- 
 iss folds encircle 
 ! us with syren 
 aering path, and 
 nissive, cringing 
 re we delivered 
 
 F0I.LIK8 or TUB XlXXll CBNTUllY. 
 > Most logical readoVjJour reasoning is ingcniouBaiultohumaa 
 forcHight is alike plausible and conclusive, but it is of the 
 « earth, earthy." Woman's wiles, woman's smiles and womon's 
 blandishments will have their influence on tho great revolution 
 with which the future is pregnant, but these alone would never 
 give it birth. Another powcrdiff-eringessentially from ordinary 
 human instrumentality aTid unencumbered with tho dross of ma- 
 terialism, is exerting its potent but invisible agency in behalf 
 ■ of tiie down-trodden and enslaved pctticoatocrary of the Empire 
 
 State. 
 
 This agency more supernatural in its origin— more miracu- 
 ■ lous fn its developments than any thing the world has witnessed 
 • since the magic transactions in tlie castle of Udolpho or the en- 
 counters of pious Cotton Mather with the witchc/s of Salem, is yet 
 in mere embryo, but in forthcoming maturity is destined to revolu- 
 tionize the world, forming a new meridian in the calendar of time, 
 and casting a halo of glory around the close of the nindtecnth 
 fccntury, compared with which, the boasted human inventions of 
 the age, wUl be but as farthing rusWights beside the crater of 
 Vesuvius, or the pattering of rain drops, to the roar of Niagara. 
 We allude to Spiritualism, the talisman under which woman, 
 casting her banner to the breeze will bear it onward from vie- 
 fry to victory, till it floats proudly in the noontide blaze of 
 
 political power and then r. But we must not anticipate. 
 
 Produce your authority says the incredulous reader, for these 
 wonderful revelations or how are we to judge of their veracity. 
 Were we writing of the past, your demand would be reasonable, 
 a^d if refused an answer, the credibHity of the narrative might 
 well be doubted. But the work before us, from its very na- 
 
 ■f'M 
 
rtgr*, 7^" ' 
 
 14 
 
 liUOY Boston. 
 
 M 
 
 turo^ muHt necessarily rest on the /;>«• dhit of the writer, with 
 tho Bimplo assurance that time will eventually utainp it with 
 the rtjal of truthfulness. It will naturally bo asked in what 
 manner we came in possession of the wonderful fuets about to 
 be diselosed, or how wo alone are made the' favored organ in 
 giving them to tho world. We have aUj^y intimated that 
 our pen may bo but tho paasivc tool iffrS|)irituali8m — that 
 among tho idiosyncrasies of this prophetic ago, it may have 
 been given us to peer through or behind tho curtain that 
 hides, tho future, and with unclouded vision to gazo out upon 
 tho strca^n of time, as it flows down the vista of centuries. Bo 
 that as iiii;|kay, the mmlus operandi, or precisely how wo were 
 constituted a chronicler of tho future it is not essential to sta 
 or for the reader to know, neither haaJl any bearing on 
 authenticity of the following record* j 
 
 An objure Tvritef,^ one William Shakspeare who flourished 
 gomeifrhero'^T the close of the sixteenth century, but who 
 seems to hjiteJS|^fcibip'cwhat deeply at the f((untain of human 
 thought an'*^"'*""^*" ^'*'" '^ 
 
 |iip in the Bfri«pi(f Wen, 
 tt^Siisii ta»*ii in tho flood leads on to fortune." 
 
 ' A later author of some repute has said, 
 
 " There is a tide in the afTalra of woman, 
 
 k ■ 
 
 Which taken Jn Oie flood leads— IK'uven knows where." 
 
 Tha.doubt implied in ttl^e latter quotation it i^thc design of 
 the following chapters to elucidate : 
 
 Will the reader now seat himself in the car of imagination and 
 transport himself some twenty years ahead of the present time to 
 
 the commencement of tho last (juarlcr of the nineteenth century, 
 
 ;n . 
 
 N- 
 
 
 ''^-j 
 
S'tS''., 
 
 lie writer, with 
 r Htainp it with 
 axked in what 
 facts about to 
 ivorcd organ in 
 intimated that 
 itualism — that 
 c, it may have 
 to curtain tliat 
 gaze out upon 
 centuries. Bo 
 y how wo wero 
 3»sential to state 
 r bearing on 
 
 who flourished 
 mtury, but who 
 [intuin of human 
 
 .v9 where." 
 
 ; i^ the design of 
 
 ' imagination and 
 he present time to 
 nctoenth century. 
 
 *t. 
 
 T\ 
 
 w 
 
 4. ' 
 
 CHAPTER list 
 
 "That niKht » chelM mlRht undcmtiind 
 The Dell had bunlneiw on hi* hundi." 
 
 TT .oemcd almost the mgU of doom. Th. winds ho^od 
 1 around, and through every ereviee eamo poTtentous wh,.- 
 poring-. Lightning, bted. The thunder in quiekcraok.ng 
 ; Lshtg -troke, n,udo heaven and earth tremble, then rolled 
 
 A„!E Mgor had retired to r«t. But to, eonld a 
 ,„rul mortal deep when .h« .torm-god was wroth andjmed 
 about to .hiver every th.ng to atoms. Earth a,r and *y. 
 singled together, portended some di«> eatastropho. ■ 
 
 Such a night was ealeuluted to iirfuee^gloomy forebod>ng, 
 and people superstitious faney with speetres and ghosts. 
 
 Amaziah had been aeeustoraed to regard sueh a seene m no 
 other light than simply as an unpleasant one, nay, he had often 
 rallied the timorous who eould not enjoy a thunder storm. 
 
 Though not given to superstition, a strange feeling eame 
 
 over him. «.y, he eould not tell. He was in good health 
 
 .„d cheerful mood. However, unwilling to incur the reputa- 
 
 .tionof yielding to womanish fears, he resolutely sought to 
 
 quiet himself upon his couch. 
 
 41 
 
 t 
 
 ■«' 
 
 ^ 
 
■t 
 
 * • 
 
 I 
 
 -! 
 
 16 
 
 Lucy 
 
 Boston. 
 
 
 In the third story of a stately mansion, ■where, it is not im- 
 portant to state. An introduction to his room m\\ be sufficient 
 for the reader to comprehend and realize the gloom of that 
 awful night, a dismalness whose intensity our half terrified 
 friend would have somewhat relieved by lighting his extin- 
 guifihed taper, had not the continuous sheets of electricity 
 rendered artificial light both useless and qheerless. But to the 
 room. . ^ ., - . 
 
 It was moderately large, ceiling high, with two windows look- 
 ing to the street. The furniture of ordinary style, bed, ward- 
 robe, centrc-tabte) wash-stand, half a dozen chairs, (including 
 a comfortable armed rocker), stove, settee, mirror, a small case 
 of miscellaneous books, et cetra. On the stand was neatly 
 placed, bowl, pitcher and napkin for his morning ablution. 
 
 Thus it will be seen, that for a bachelor (for such he was and 
 enjoying his forty-sixth summer), Amaziah was Comfortably 
 provided with the articles of life, less man's "better half." 
 
 For two long hours Badger vainly essayed to compose himself 
 to sleep. Sad and dismal sensations oppressed him. Never 
 before had he so realized the estate of his loneliness in the 
 world. Longing for some one with whom to commilhicate, he 
 was led for the moment to envy those of h^ kind who were 
 blessed with conjugal partners of their joys and sorrows, espe- 
 cially amid the terror, and tortures of a nocturnal,(not matri- 
 monial,)thunder storm. 
 
 The moment that thovght was indulged, he was startled by a 
 noise in his room. But what could be the cause? Neither 
 cat nor dog shared bis bjichelor's quarters. The door he knew 
 was bolted, and thq elevation of his apartnient was security 
 
4 
 
 Follies op the 
 
 XIXth Century. 17 
 
 re, it is not im- 
 rill be sufficient 
 i cloom of that 
 ir half tcrriBed 
 ting his extin- 
 i of electricity 
 3SS. Bat to the 
 
 windows look- 
 tyle, bed, ward- 
 lairs, (including 
 ror, a small case 
 and was neatly 
 ig ablution. * 
 luch he was and 
 Kaa comfortably 
 better half." 
 Bompose himself 
 id him. Never 
 loneliness in the 
 iommiihicate, he 
 kind who were 
 id sorrows, espe- 
 irnaI,(not mat'ri- 
 
 ^as startled by a 
 lause ? Neither 
 he door he knew 
 it was security 
 
 against external intruders. A flash of lightning discovered to 
 him a chair moved from its accustomed pbcc. He could not 
 be mistaken, for bachelors you know are renowned for the de- 
 velopment of the systentatic organ. Theirs is the universal, 
 cood old motto, "a place for every thing and every thing m 
 Us place." Another explosion of electricity, illuminating his' 
 chamber with more than the brightness of a hundred gas-bur- 
 ncrs, confirmed him in the certainty that the chair had been 
 moved, and that its removal b^d occasioned the noise. But by 
 ' what power, visible or invisible ? It could IK)t be a Spiritual- 
 Rapper. He was a rabid skeptic on that score. Was it not 
 some robber orassassin issuing from his concealment to dispatch 
 his 'victim? Amaziah had wronged no one, and his known 
 antipathy to filthy lucre was indemnity against the assaults of 
 avarice. Had not the chambermaid, either in a fit of somnam- 
 bulism or to play off some game of innocent conspiracy, with 
 her duplicate key, gained entrance unobserved, amid the rattling 
 confusion of thunder and tempest? This last, is th% most 
 probable conclusion thought he, at which thonght, instantly the 
 chairs commenced promenading across the room and with their 
 legs upward, ranged themselves in a row against his bed-side. 
 We say ranged themselves, for though the lightning gave a 
 " view as clear as noon-day, there was no visible agency in the 
 mysterious movement. Badger sprang to a sitting posture. 
 His hair stood erect. The cold sweat gathered in drops on his 
 face. His knees smote together and his eyeballs seemed 
 starting from their sockets. To escape was impracticable, for 
 ^ he was barricaded. He tried to scream « murder ! help !" but 
 his voice stuck fast in his throat. Statue like he sat, the per- 
 2* 
 
 
18 
 
 L i; C Y lio ST O N , 
 
 !•; 
 
 ii 
 
 ;;■> 
 
 ii ■ "i 
 
 Bonification of ghostly fear. At length regaining his voluntary, 
 powers and striking his hand with violence upon his forehead, 
 he collected his wits about him, to determine whether indeed 
 all this was reality or not. Conscious of his own identity and 
 the soundness of his senses, it was clearly no empty vision. 
 .It is hard to say what the effect upon him would have been, 
 whether a giving up of the ghost on the spot, or confirmed 
 , insanity, but fortunately, as often happens, despair begat cour-. 
 age and courage banished fear. 
 
 His shattered thoughts and senses measurably restored, he 
 resolved to know the bot(om of this business. Accordingly 
 his first effort was to leap out of bed and strike a light, but his 
 muscular powers were suspended. Could it be, that he was a 
 victim of the horrible cafalej)s,y ? The bare thought how ap- 
 palUng ! Shroud, coffin, weeping friends, funeral train and 
 yawning grave, all ro.se visibly before him. Darkness gathered 
 on his eyelids. Already, he f.mcied himself lowered to his final 
 resting-place, and heard and felt the clods falling heavily, with 
 their sepulchral sound updn hi.s breast. O horror of horrors ' 
 Buried alive ! Was such his fate ? This was indeed livincr 
 death ! Every -fibre within him thrilled with agony. Already 
 a sense of suffocation oppressed him, a numbness was creeping 
 over his extremities, and when he would have expired— mar- 
 vellous in the extreme - the organ of vitality performed its 
 function with more than ordinary vigor, for he distinctly felt 
 and heard it palpitate. After all, thought he, is not this mere ' 
 imagmation and neuralgic excitement? Consciousness assured 
 him of his mental and physical soundness, and yet the unac 
 countable spell petrified and held him fast. 
 
Follies of the XIXtii Century. 
 
 19 
 
 ng his voluntary^ 
 )n his forehead, 
 whether indeed 
 wn identity and 
 mpty vision, 
 ould have been, 
 ot, or confirmed 
 pair begat cOur- . 
 
 bly restored, he 
 . Accordingly 
 a light, but his 
 ', that he was a 
 lought how ap- 
 teral train and 
 kuess gathered 
 ered to his final 
 g heavily, with 
 or of horrors ! 
 indeed livinsr 
 ony. Already 
 3 was creeping 
 ixpired — mar- 
 performed its 
 distinctly felt 
 1 not this mere 
 usness assured 
 yet the unac- 
 
 Again his alarm returned. Skeptic as he had been in rela- 
 tion to Spiritualism, the conviction forced itself upon hiui, that 
 he was .sj^rbuudcd by invisible agents, for surely no uiero 
 earthly 'Cj^pfjcould produce sAh phenomena.' He could no 
 longei|:'*^9^W;. It was a Sj)iri/val Maiiifestution. But the 
 churactci* of these ghostly visitors ? "Was it good or bud, 
 fricudly or unfriendly ? And their object ? Was it a mission 
 of benevolence, or had they come "to torment him before the 
 time?" 
 
 Spirits! ghosts! AVhat feelings a sense of their presence 
 and their power produces. How it seems to lift the curtain 
 between both worlds, causing sinful flesh instinctively to 
 shrink back from an unseen, untried eternit3^ 
 
 All he had ever thought, or said, or done, passed in instan- 
 taneous review before him. , Whether or not his state of mind 
 bringing him into sympathy or magnetic' aiTmity with the 
 ^ tnystcrious agency, dissolved the spell that bound him, it is 
 diilicult to say, but tortured witl» suspense, and with mental 
 powers AATought up to the highest pitch of intensity, suddenly 
 his tongue was loised and he cried, 
 
 "What meaneth 'this?- "What terrible judgment is upon 
 me? Tell me ye invisible powers, tell me." 
 
 But there came no response. . 
 
 Have I wronged any of my fellow men ? If so, tell me, that 
 I may repent and make restitution. 
 
 No answer. ' ' ■ 
 
 The tempest without still raged, while awful silence reigned 
 within. Again in-agony of soul he cried, 
 
 " Ye powers, mortal or immortal, good or evil, reveal to me 
 
 ..■«& 
 
 •^^^ 
 
II . 
 
 20 
 
 iiLCY JJofSTOX. 
 
 . : < 
 
 ir'4 
 
 tLis^ mysteiy. Whcrefbre is it nnd what cToth it portend?' 
 , iiut the powers deigiKd uo nplj. 
 
 "mom and in what have 1 ofr.ude.ir continued he 
 ^ Purely, nothing save tran.grc.ion could bring upon hapless 
 . mortffl ^ch a visitation. Inforn. n,e if 1 have trespassed on 
 the rights of any human being." 
 
 lustantly the chairs sprang to J.heir legs again. The *tove 
 began to rattle and th. table galt^ping around the room, sud- 
 denly ascended and adhered to the ccilin-. 
 
 "I have then offended. Is it man ?" said Badger. 
 
 No response. ' , 
 
 "Isi...™,«„r A„dhis.onguc.ingIcil»sl,c.p„I„. lo a 
 twokh-g his wardrobe r„.,I,cd from i,s .ctrca., ha,,,, h„„,, 
 waistcoats, pantaloons, and dickcjs fl.ying f„Hously i„ all di! 
 rections. Hi,i,sc.lf, the picture of fright, ho found, in u prcca- 
 nous equilibrium, astride the foot-board, while bedstead, ehair- 
 Bet.ee, tougs, stool., and every thing about, him, that h.,d le.,' ■ 
 fell to rearing and kieling as if possessed. All «s hurly-burly' 
 e«ept the vrash-stand, wlrieh stood unmoved, like a ,,uie; 
 
 spectator of the scene, a cireun.stance the shrewd reader, will 
 
 presently comprehend. * .,',►*.■ 
 
 A sudden plunge of his wooden hc^, the rider hurled 
 
 through divers vertical revolutions, was safely anchored in a 
 
 suting posture on the ,tove, and into which position he settled 
 
 with infinite composure. 
 
 To an ordinary observer Amaziah's apartmenl, in a siate of 
 chaofe disorder, was far from inviting, and his seat any thine 
 but enviable. But Spiritualism looks through other than mor- 
 t.1 eyes, and hence to him, all was order symmetry and beauty 
 
 M 
 
Juth it portend ?' 
 
 continued he. 
 •ijig upon luipless 
 ive trcspas.sed on 
 
 rain. The -stove 
 1 the room, sud- 
 
 ^adgcr< 
 
 he f^poke. Id a 
 cat, hats, boots, 
 iously in all di- 
 lund, in u preca- 
 Jodstead, diairs, 
 I, that had legs, 
 vas hurlj-burly, 
 J, like a quiet 
 wd reader, will 
 
 e rider hurled 
 anchored in a 
 ition he settled 
 
 t, in a state of 
 seat any thing 
 ther than nior- 
 7 and beauty. 
 
 FOL'LIES OF THE X I X T II CeNTURY. 21 
 
 Ordinarily, the transition from a bed, even of straw, to a 
 cast iron stool, would be considered something of a hard cx- 
 chan'^o, especially when tired nature called for rest. But now 
 to him it was delicious as softest velvet. No easy chair, with 
 "cushions at the arm-holes" could be more grateful. He fain 
 would have sat*thcre the live long night. True, he might have 
 desired a change on the score of taste, but not to increase the 
 sum of his perfect,'yet unaccountable felicity. 
 
 The storm had abated. The thunder died away in distant 
 miittering, the lightnings returned to their hiding-place. In 
 the elysium of his bliss, perched upon the silken, downy, sum- 
 mit of the stove, the impression fastened itself upon fiim with 
 irresistible force that he had witnessed a Spirit nat Manifesta- 
 tion, and that in truth, he was involuntarily and unconsciously 
 made a Medium. AVith self-possession equal to his former 
 trepidation, he at once inq^uired, • 
 
 " Are there Spirits here?" 
 
 Whereupon broke out such a rapping as would have awak- 
 ened the "seven sleepers." The thumpings of a thousand 
 coopers at work had not made a greater clattering. Chairs, 
 settee, bedstead, tongs, poker, boo^;j^ck — which had exhausted 
 their energies, by over-exertioiffand subsided into quiet for a 
 breathing spell — again letting loose, played curious antics. 
 
 The mirror turned its face to the wall, and the table alighting 
 from the ceiling, danced a polka about the room. Amaziah's 
 coat, of peaceful cut and the property of a peace man, was 
 decorated with epaulettes, lace and sash, — his hat with cockade 
 and feather, while his expansive, old fashioned cloak assumed 
 t.hn nharanter of our national- banner, with <^ stars and stripes" 
 
 ^ 
 
 flaunting to the breeze. 
 
>>■ 
 
 t 
 
 
 V 
 
 2'-? 
 
 Lucy IJosToN. 
 
 ! Amid the din of rappinjrs iu.l tappings Ti^nl^^r's oar drs- 
 : tkctly recognized the tunc ol-' Va,.!.. DooM.^ "U.l us the 
 ' martial strain ceased, he as plainly heard tho u.M.e of ^ v.ry 
 ^ laVgc anger leering npward throngh the tahlu, and «.w, or ra.h.r 
 : thought hepw, the ehips ndl upon the il.or I ^ =^ ^^ P-ontly ; 
 the stove cLmeneed a gentl« roclung^ The washa.owl, hUcd ;. 
 to tj,e hrim, attached to nothing, hung bottum upward d.nctly,y 
 over Amaziah^s^head, and yet-stnmgc plKUouKM.a-tln, ^^^ 
 liciuid contents in perA^ct e<inilil.riun., ren.ainod u,M,.charg.d. . 
 A soothing, blissful charm rested upon and tilled his every 
 
 sense. " , , 
 
 " 'Phc spirit of what man is here ?':^fiaured he. .A .oVul- 
 chral, angry tone between a groan and a gmwi, almost stepped 
 his breath with terror; and again his Mrongtji departing, he 
 ■ . came near billing headlong. A strikiug anomaly, by the way, 
 in Spiritualism, as wc shall see, i^.r according to the orthodox 
 eked when-the Spirit called after, is not present, there can be 
 „a response -plainly an error, as iWgcr can testify tVom^ 
 
 actual experience. • ' 
 
 Amaziah, confounded, bewildered and hardly knowing what 
 
 " he said, asked, ' .» 
 
 " Is the Spirit of any animal here?" 
 
 Suddenly' was Ihcre such a cackling of hens, crowing of 
 
 cocks, gabbling of geese, croakfng of crows, hooting of owls 
 
 and screaming of buzzards j.such a snarling oj cats, barking 
 
 of dogs, squealing of pigs, grunting of hogs, howling of wolves, 
 
 >, shattering of monkeys, bellowing of bull-fri«»* and braying of 
 
 donkeys, as out-bedlamed bedlam, and made night hideous jyith 
 
 their grand chorus of discord. ^- — 
 
 Puzzled, horrified, stunned, our bachelor involuntarily waved 
 
 ft 
 / 
 
Follies op tiik XIXtii Century, 
 
 23 
 
 \s oar cUs- 
 nd us the 
 
 of ii vfiy 
 , of nitlicr 
 
 presently ; 
 bowl, tilled -^ 
 
 rd diii'Clly Y 
 leiia — the \\ 
 liseharirMi. .» 
 his evfiy 
 
 _A ^'o^iul- 
 ost stopped 
 partin<r, he 
 )y the way, 
 10 orthodox 
 ;hcre can be 
 testify fi'oiu 
 
 lowing what 
 
 , crowing of 
 iting of owls 
 .'ats, bavlving 
 ng of wolves, 
 id braying of 
 , hideous jvith 
 
 » 
 
 his hand for them to depart. 'T was like a magic wand. All 
 was silence again. His composure returned. 
 
 A moment's calm reflection assured him that it could be 
 none other than some propitious Spirit present, but how to ap. 
 proach it, was the question. At length yielding to the motion 
 of an inward impulse, he cried with the voice of entreaty, 
 
 « Kind and gentle Spirit, whose presence fills mo with de- 
 light, favor thy servant with a Manifestation, and reveal 
 
 thyself to him." ' 
 
 One mild solitary rap on the stove, vibrated in his ear, thrill- 
 ing every nerve with ecstacy, like the silvery flow of richest 
 music Th6 water still suspended above him, now gently glided . 
 "'down bis pii-son. 0, such a baptism ! It was like being 
 perfumed wilh the oil of celestial rpses ! He felt as if bathing 
 in the ocean and basking in the sunbeams of bliss ! 
 ' Presently, a voice or the Manifestation of a voice, in ac- 
 cents of enchanting sweetness, said or seemed to say, 
 
 '^~"" TViJ^ttlioui <UirXifl«conGcntnitet1iy t}ioughts. 
 
 Oil wronged, tlisfninchised u-oiiian ; and as mo - - ^- 
 
 bi this, thou dost obey, so will I thee 
 Glad tidings hcav on morrow's twilight eve. 
 The veil, that's o'er the future cast, Til draw 
 luiparting^unto thee prophetic sight. • 
 
 ' ; The mniS^iiifimivrk-' on icomun fix ihfth'.'iiffltts. 
 
 To-morrow night, as now, we meet again — 
 
 Till then, thy lips and secret heart, I scan. 
 
 I am no phantom— heed me well— good night." I 
 
 As the voice died away on his ear, Badger found himself 
 snug in bed again, his room at the same time assuming its cus- . 
 
 ntarily waved 
 
■I 
 
 i t 
 
 24 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ^■„.,j appearance. The impreasion left upon hi, „ind, br 
 the oeeurrenoes of ,he l„.t hour, was like that of a vivid dream, 
 Wuh,n and without all waS quiet «.vc the ^eaaured liek of 
 tne clock. 
 
 The queen „f !,;„„„ ,^„^ „„ j,.^ j,,_.^__g^ the easen-ent, 
 •nd the atar, twinkled with their brightest luatre, like diamonda 
 in the blue mantle of night. Nature herself, as if with ex- 
 h.«»ted energie,, seemed lulled to repose, and feeling the genial 
 .nfluenee stealing over him, Ama.iah sank into the embrace 
 01 profound sleep. 
 
 / 
 
 /■ 
 
 
 ff 
 
 
 
 
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 mind, bj 
 
 
 vid dream; 
 
 
 ed tick of 
 
 
 casement, 
 
 
 diamoDds 
 
 
 ' with ex- 
 
 
 the genial - 
 
 
 cmbrac»> 
 
 
 / 
 
 CHAFFER III. 
 
 "Holy St. Vraoolsl what a change is hero!" 
 
 LIKE old Bachelors in general, Amaziah was an inveterate 
 stickler for his full quanfum of systematic, unmolested sleep, 
 not onlj on account of the luxury of " snoozing," but reli- 
 giously holding it to be indispensable in fittinf onu for the active 
 duties of the day. His dormitory was his sanctum sanctorum. 
 It was downright sacrilege for any mortal to intrude upon him 
 while paying his nightly devotions at the shrine of the sleepy 
 god. Whenever by any fortuity he ,^iti happen to be curtailed 
 of his usual amount of rest, which very rarely occurred, it was 
 said to make him "out of sorts" for a fortnight afterwards. 
 
 However this may b6, it was not so in the present instance. 
 On the contrary he arose even earlier than usual, refreshed, 
 invigorated, with step elastic, and spirits buoyant, having 
 ^arranged his toilet with even more than his customary circum- 
 spection, midway his descent to the breakfast-room, he met 
 the chambermaid,^- a native of "goodauld Ireland," — and 
 an extreme specimen of her class. 
 
 Were it required of us to describe her person in the most 
 comprehensive terms, we should saj, she was in height about 
 ^* four feet two," and her rotundity equal to her altitude. The 
 
 25 
 
26 LUOY ,,B08T0N. 
 
 contour of the picture is^ sufBcicntly iudicativo of tho " filliup; 
 up." Such, wc say, Wits her portrait drawn in fidelity of outline, 
 and as it had heretofore appeared to Aniaziuh. IJut not so 
 
 now. 
 
 In form, feature, and expression she was changed into a 
 being of angelic mould. Motionless, for the instant, he g()zcd 
 with rapture, beholding grace in every motion and " heaven in , 
 hox eye." Never before, had he seemingly looked upon any 
 earthly object so lovely. ■ 
 
 "Good morning, Catharir^^'^ said Bad^'er, and with arms 
 extended in tho ecstucy of his" admiration, ho was saluting bcr 
 with extravagant compliments extorted by her beauty, in his 
 eye, when a voice from below in emphatic and to hira sweet 
 accents, saluted his ears : 
 
 "What, sir, insulting my chambermaid? No <jrntli"num 
 will take such liberties with a servant .Explain yourself if 
 
 you please, sir." 
 
 « I was swaping in th— tho hall, ma'ni, and the blarney of a 
 fellow was cooming down stairs, ma'm, and looked right at mo 
 with his eyes, he— he did n^a'ra, and was pokin fun at me, he was, 
 and I niver soda bit of a woord to him, and he kipt cooming 
 raght at tnc, he did ma'm, and I was jist a gooing to give tho 
 oogly crather a poke on the p^te with ma broom-stake, I was 
 ma'm '' exclaimed Kate in a spirit of " high dudgeon." 
 
 "By this time tho landlady — her black eyes flashinjg indig- 
 nation -jfiad ascended toi the landing, where Badger stood 
 listening to the impassioned narrative of Catharine, whose 
 '< rich Irish brogue," had so fired with tender passion his inmost 
 — BOuL — • — — — 
 
 
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 t 
 
 fA, 
 
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fWW'" 
 
 V O 1, 1. 1 F, S O 
 
 F TiiK XlXrii Ckntmiy 
 
 27 
 
 <( 
 
 Vou will lintl you »iiotli(!r iMtunliri^' |»lu('i), sir. I will Imnd 
 
 il >li.s. Wiisuii, mid sturtod down 
 
 blurtuw, V) 
 
 you your l)ill "t diiimr," Hiii< 
 
 stajii*. — Hii«lj5'T immodiutoly rollovvini 
 
 «' An if yo ivor spako to uuj «;^i» witli ycr blunu^, by mo 
 sowl; a divil u bit of bnir U it I'll lavo in yor hcud, I will," 
 crii d Kate in a boi.sterou!* uiul 4broatcniug tone, and yet all tins , 
 oxiiied within Badjjor nuuj^lit but the ino«t j)lcasing emotions. 
 Novel- bcfnic bad lie enjoyed i'einulb Hocicty. ' Not that he was 
 a woman liater, Kin- from it. . iJut like many /of lii« class, 
 haviii!: seen but little of the world, c.sfccially in the minj,'lint? 
 (.r (he sexcs^ which added to bin natural "timidity" ho-had 
 nl\v;.ys shrank fmui the gazo of the f^ofter gex.asfrom th^glaro 
 (,r a serpent. IJut how changed ! A new era in bis existence 
 now dawned upon hiiii. His eyes and cars were opened for the" 
 lii>t time, to wee and hear those feminine charms, to whieb be- 
 fore he had always been both blind and deaf. This change 
 wrought upon him was indeed sudden and mysterious, but to 
 him none the less real. 
 
 IJa.h'er was seating himself at the Ij^-eak fast- table when tho 
 waiter made her appearance. IIow surpassingly beautiful sho 
 looked ! True, her " skin a sable color," was of purely" Ethe- 
 opiau dye, but to his optics there was no difference bctweCQ' 
 ebony and alabaster in female charms, unless it be that tho 
 former exhibited a somewhat richer tinge than the latter. 
 
 "Good morning, Dinah, dear," said Badge^, unable to re- 
 press the ardor of his feelings — "what a stormy night we've 
 had. Could you sleep amid such lightning and thunder? How 
 old are you, Dinah ? Is youV father living ? IIow many sisters 
 have you, Dinah ? -Did you over have a husband, Dinah ? If 
 
 '^. 
 
tt%. 
 
 A 
 
28; 
 
 LtJCY BotJTON. 
 
 I were you, Dinah, I would never war" — . At that instant Mrs. 
 Wilsqn entering the doDr arrested his attention. Some would 
 have said she was iu a rage, yet not so did he hcliold her. There 
 was fire in her eye, but it was the flame that burns while it do(!S 
 not consume; a curl on her lip, but it was the '< lino of beauty," 
 a kind of spiteful, steam-like rapidity in her locomotion, but 
 it was the. perfection of grace. At least so it appeared to him. 
 ** Has hetiat his breakfast, Dinah,'' said she sweeping round 
 towards the head of the table where Badger sat. 
 
 No misses,^he talk so fas, mc couldn't ask de gemmen what 
 Be hab, no how." 
 
 , "How fresh you are looking this morning," said Amaziah 
 to his hostess, at the same time advancing towards her with 
 hands outstretched for a friendly greeting, his labial muscles, 
 of their own accord, assuming the attitude for whistling, or 
 something ^Ise. . \ ; 
 
 "^Husband ! husband !" cried she with hysteric shriek, 
 though it was music in Badger's ear. ♦ 
 
 " Lor bress me, massa!" — vociferated Dinah, meeting Wil- 
 son at the entrance, and throwing up her hands in affright, 
 " he gwine' to bbmit wiolence and sassinate missus. Quick, 
 massa Wilson, quick, 'fore he duz de dre'ful deed." "^i 
 
 " Mercy ! husband ! Save me from the dreadful creature. 
 He's drunk or crazy. He insulted Kate, in the hall, talked 
 love to Dinah, and then pitched straight at me. Nobody's 
 sgfe with him in the house." 
 
 "Yes, massa, missus tell de libin trufer Dars nun ob us 
 dat iz'nt sposed eb'ry minute. Dat am most ser'ous fac." 
 " Pshaw ! Dinah, you and your mistress are terrible skit- 
 
 
 '4-^1 
 
Follies OP the XIXtii Century. 29 
 
 ::i. 
 
 tish. Friend Badger only wanted to hoar himself talk and 
 have a little fun, that's all. He would'nt harm a kitten. An 
 old bach — hard on to fifty and never kissed a girl in his life 
 1'1> wager a cocktail. Bah ! lie's as harmless as a turtle dove. 
 Glad if he has at last got pluck enough to speak to a woman. I 
 think he ought to be* encouraged, for his own sake and the wo- 
 men's too. He'll make some one a model of a husband yet. 
 Won't you my good fellow?" at the same time' giving him a 
 familiar, playful slap on the shoulder. 
 
 "I hope he won't court Kate and Dinah all at once," said 
 Mrs. Wilson, and she swept out of the room. ' 
 
 " Lor a mighty, he don't come round dis wench, nohow, now 
 I tell you dat ar," said Dinah, and away she shuffled in a huflF. 
 ' "Come Badger," said the landlord, " swallow your breakfast 
 and take a turn with me to market, and we'll have one of the 
 dinners to-day," in the mean time loading his plate. " There, 
 .make yourself at home, while I go to the kitchen and see 
 what's wanted. I always consult Dinah in making up the 
 culinary programme." 
 
 " Hold on, I'll go too," said Badger, rising from his chair. 
 "N(J no, it*s all well enough," replied Wilson, "my spouse 
 was a little nervous, this morning, don't mind it, and its not 
 worth while to ajwhgise to a ' dar/cce.* You see Badger, ^»u 
 haVe never studied the science of woman. You hav'nt been 
 initiated. But you'll understand it when you've.been ^hlowed ' 
 ^ip,' as often as I have, x You see these Jits are a part of the 
 female constitution — a kiiid of chronic, periodical neuralgic 
 spasm, and when they come on, the only way is to keep sttll 
 
 and let 'em have 'em out. Sit down and finish your meal. 
 3* 
 
80 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 You will only make the matter worse in trying to mend it. 
 These fits are curious things — and dangerous too, if not rightly . 
 treated. The only cure is, kindly to let them alone. Its al- 
 ways safest to let 'em pass off the natural way, I can fetch 
 my wife too, easy enough. A new bonnet or a new dress will 
 take the temper out of any woman, for a while — at least until 
 they are made and worn once. You see, Badg., I'm a real 
 doctor. I can treat these feminine infirmities 'like a book,' — 
 bread-pills and sugar-plums are the best calomel and blood-let- 
 ting for these 'fits' that woman 'is heir to,' as Shakspearo 
 says, h£t-ha-ha. Do you understand ? Now Badg., hark! — 
 take my advice, keep away from the women. Never even <u?-« 
 yofur thoughts on the sexj until you have Jirmly resolved to 
 marry. , " ' ; ■ . . 
 
 ^'^Lecture Jirsf, by Prof. Wilson, *D.' P.,' doctor otjifs, 
 admittance twenty-five cents — bachelors half price," said our 
 host with a hearty laugh, and made his exit leaving Badger ■ 
 behind him. 
 
 Although entirely misapprehended, he decided to adopt the 
 counsel just given him and leVthings rest as they were, trust- 
 ing less in himself than in his landlord, whom he held iiqi the 
 highest estimation, as well for the qualities of his head as his 
 heart. 
 
 To be sure Wilson was not favifed with a liberal education, 
 neither was he covered with the starch and polish of fashionalle 
 politeness. He did not know at what precise moment of the 
 day or night, the bosom of fashionable nobility would, as a 
 matter of course, magnanimously open its portals for ^he recep- 
 tion of visitors, neither that he must say "adieu" to his 
 
 ^^' 
 
 t-'; 
 
 -4- 
 
 ^ . t 
 
Foi^i^iKsop THE XI^T 11 Century. 31 
 
 I 
 
 '%■ 
 
 " DEAR friend/' after having sat precisely so many minutes 
 by the dial, notwithstandingjt broke suddenly off, an interesting 
 conversation — nor that his gloves must be of a particular hue, 
 on particulaf days of the year, and at particulaT hours of the 
 morning and evening, and that they must not be worn a second 
 time, though not in the least soiled. Neither could he realh/ 
 feel himself inspired with a deep and abiding attachment by 
 the inspection of a little piece of polished paste-board, handed 
 to his servant by some gentleman's coachman, howeter hand- 
 somely the name might be engraved upola it. In short, he was 
 not much versed in, much less governed by the Calendar of 
 Fashion, in which is marked the " times and the seasons," 
 with nice exactness of year, month, day, hour, minute, and 
 even sccond,a3 a directory to guide the simple and govern the 
 wise in the process of walkingj^ riding, bowing, speaking, call- 
 ing, smiling, and hvinff, with all the details of form, size, color 
 texture, posture, and wear of apparel and equipage. 
 
 AVi^on was in all respects exactly the reverse of this fashion- 
 able stamp, open, frank, generous — a noble specimen'of demo- 
 cratic humanity. However fastiUtbus Fashion might draw his 
 portrait, he Vas nevertheless in heart and aon\ a "fjentleman. 
 Satisfied that Wilson was his friend, and intended all for the 
 best, and whose advice being not altogether inconsistent with 
 the instructions of the previous, night, Badger concluded to 
 repose confidence in him. 
 
 " What a magnificen,t morning ! Such, cool, pure, bracing 
 air. What a luxury to breathe it," said the landlord, as they 
 sallied forth on their excursion. ^ * 
 
 "Y-e-s," replied Badger with indifference. - * 
 
 1* 
 
 \' 
 
 'm 
 
\ 
 
 "•i^s 
 
 32 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ^-^ 
 
 /* I shall never forget last night," continued Wilson. What 
 lighl|iing! The atmosphere seemed ail. on fire. And how the 
 thunder ripped and tore, as if every thing was coming to pieces. 
 I almost began to think that Millerism was true and the end 
 of the world had come. But I helieve all is right side up this 
 morning. How is it in the third' story ? All straight?" 
 " Y-e-s, b-e-1-i-e-v-e so." , ♦ 
 
 "What the devil, ails you, old boy? You were chirk as a 
 lark before we started, and now a melancholy "y-e-s"— "y-e-s," 
 is #11 that can 1* got of you. I was going to introduce you to 
 one of the handsomest old maids in the. State, with th? hope of 
 getting up a^ match, but I'd sooner present her a box of icicles, 
 than a beaiA clear down itf the dumps." % 
 
 "Where does she livef," ejaculated Badger, instantly electri- 
 fied. - How far is it ? When shall we get there ?!" he repeated 
 with the utmost impatience. 
 
 '" I've hit you at last, my good fellow," said Wilson laugh-r 
 ingly. " Her doiaicile stands a short jaunt from the suburbs. 
 Shall I escort you out there to-night ? 
 . Badger made no reply! 
 
 " Come, what do you say ? •Shall I show you up ? If ybU 
 would get a wife, you must approach in the right way and 
 play your game ' shrewdly. Blow a welding heat- and strike 
 when the iron is hot — th&* is, watct your chance and take her 
 when she's in the humor. . Shall we go?" , 
 
 ' "J)Sfot to-day," said Badger, I'm tsngaged* But is'nt there 
 'some one close by, I can see. now? f; * ' . ; 
 
 . " You are in a- devil of a liurry'all at once,** said he. -Wak- 
 ing up to a sense of the subject, are you ?" 
 
 
 't'' 
 
Vt 
 
 in. What 
 id how the 
 y to pieced, 
 id the end ~ 
 ide up this 
 ;ht?" 
 
 chirk as a 
 '-"y-e-8," 
 uce you to 
 h^ hope of 
 £ of icicles, 
 
 ttly electri- 
 he repeated 
 
 Ison laugh-r 
 lie suburbs. 
 
 )? If y oil 
 t way and 
 and strike 
 nd take her 
 
 ■ - -• ■ ' • 
 is'nt there 
 
 he. ■Wak: 
 
 \ l^oi.i.iKM oi. THE/ XIXtii Century. 33 
 
 Tlu'y wiTo pas.sin|!; through the principal street, and at that 
 liuur lu^tlic iiibniiMg when merchants, artisans, and others make 
 t lie eu>toni!»ry out-door display of their various '^arcs. Just 
 I) -f TO thorn, a milliner And mantua-makcr'a .s/V/ji (in the shapcof 
 ;i wosnan, familiar to the reader), of faultless proportions arid 
 cjail in richest costumfe, was advancing by the aid of a cLrk, 
 to heir position near the door, for the purpose of cntieing the 
 siiiiplc and unwary ones out of the v:aj/^ leading them to enter 
 one of those \^ institutions," where so many women //ra^/wa/e, -' 
 airJ ccrnie forth vlotli'il with ieauty, to .dazzle and captivate 
 nriukind with their f/rv^Him/ charms. 
 
 The mojhent IJadger's eye cJiught the' voluptuous form of 
 the /tini'/«'«c sign-was it monomania, or imagination, or because 
 ho was.a "woman's rights" MccUum, or what? — -his soul was 
 iiVstantaneously inflamed with the " tenfler passion," and his 
 senses taken captive by a, deliriuni of bliss. , „ • 
 . " Tiiere slio is, there she is," cried the ardent lover, springing 
 forward to meet her, and, thrusting aside the lad who seemed 
 to be laying violent hands upon her, the figute, jostled from 
 its balancc,^fell headlong to the "side-walk. 
 
 " Dearest madam," bxoUiimed he, bending over the prostrate 
 inwgo, how glad I am tofsee you. ", Are you-4iurt? Let me 
 help you up." ; 
 
 But she uuide no rq)ly, ^nd taking it that silence gave con- 
 'Wt,'quiekly clasping; her about' the? waist ^ — heavens, what a 
 sensation J — with nft great effort he restored her to her feet 
 again, not only gratified with his exploit of gallantry, bnt as- ^ 
 tonish'cd that -she. was so light. ' . * "^ 
 
 "Did it injux*e y.oUj~d§arest madam," continued' he with 
 
 % 
 
 V 
 
 ■'•sv 
 
,^v- 
 
 84 
 
 Lucy 1?0 8Ton 
 
 '■• Y* 
 
 i^ 
 
 anriety.- "Where'wouldyoulikotogo? May I be so happy ' 
 asto see you borne? — You know nic don't you?" Earnestly 
 
 and affectionately bo repeated bis questions, but could obtain 
 
 /■.... m 
 
 no answer. ' • 
 
 Wbile tbus paying bis unfortunate addresses to tbc dear 
 thing, suddenly rusbcd out the mistress of tbe establisbment, 
 and snatcbing tbe sweet idol from bis embrq^.exclaimed, 
 
 "You scoundrel! -Wliat we you doin^f You'll pay for ' 
 tbis, sir," and. drew ber r^esXiucd prize witbin doors. 
 
 « certainly, certainly, send for tbe doctor — make baste— 
 quick, I'll foot tbe bill," said Amaziab following bard after tbc • 
 object of bis adoration. ' . ' 
 
 Thinking she bad but swooned, be seized a bucket of \yater, 
 accidentally standing near, and in tFe heat and hurry qf bif 
 excitement, dashed tbe contents into her, face! ; ' 
 
 « That'll fetch ber too, if she's only fainted," cried he. "But 
 ain't she hurt, that she can't speak ? Let me feel of her pulse 
 and look into her eyes^''* continued jtl^e lover • searching, ifet her 
 lyrist and peering under her bonnet. •</ , '\ *«' ; f 
 
 • Thev shop-girls, to the number of half a dozen, in feminize • 
 affright, screamed, jumped, and ran in various directions, over- 
 turning stool? and stands, and scattering an(J trailing laces, 
 silks and muslins oyer the floor.- 
 
 "He's drunk," criedone. , ., - 
 
 " lie's crazy," — another. , " , 
 
 "Mercy! 0, dfear! murder!" screamed the' rest. He's a 
 
 'villain and a vagabond vociferated the milliner, her lips pale 
 
 and voioe 'tremulous with anger, as she shook her withered fist 
 
 and her black oirbs flashed fire through her spectacles, at him. 
 
 I 
 
 I 
 
 ■I 
 
 :-v'.. 
 
 
1 
 
 happy 
 
 
 rnestly 
 
 ' '^^^K 
 
 obtain 
 
 
 he dear 
 
 
 jhrncut, 
 
 ■ .'"S 
 
 ed, ' 
 
 "f 
 
 pay for 
 
 - ■ * * 
 
 ■•i 
 
 haste— 
 
 ■i ■ 
 
 ifterthc- * 
 
 . ,;. 
 
 if Nvater, 
 
 :' 
 
 y of hig ,. 
 
 f ■■ i- 
 
 . "But 
 
 if 
 
 jer pulse 
 
 ■■■ ■'• ■ 
 
 ,1fer her 
 
 • -i 
 
 ::■■ :^- .:'' ■^, •■ 
 
 ^4 
 
 femmi^e ' 
 
 ' 1 
 
 ns,over- 
 ag laces. 
 
 1 
 
 He's a 
 
 lips pale 
 
 lered fist 
 
 at Lim. 
 
 - Follies 01^ the XIXtii^C-entuiiy. 86 
 
 " Tell nic your iianio, sir," demanded shcl 
 
 " Ainnziah Badgci;,*' he gravely answered. / 
 
 " I'll institute a suit forthwith, sir, and walk you before a 
 
 magistrate. I will teach you to lay your hands on the property 
 
 of a defenseless woman, in a manner you'll remember. I give 
 
 you timely notice of </<a/, sir." 
 
 "G wait, don't be too fast," said he, "and if she doesn't coBoe 
 
 too pretty soon, instead of walking to the Inagistratcs, I'll just 
 
 send for the Parson. I'd rather, a great deal, have a Priest 
 
 thana J«s^<Vc,— hadn't you,, my dear'Miss Milliner?" 
 
 " What do you mean, sir, by such languagia?" 
 
 "I mean, if this dear idol here, should' nt revive in the 
 
 •»■ - ' 
 
 course of an hour, then I will take your deaf self to be my 
 
 -lawful, wedded wife." " . 
 
 > ," You impudent rascal ! I icon' the so yisulted. It's enough 
 
 to have my goods destroyed. Sir, pay me for that dress, and 
 
 shawl, and bonnet," difmanded she, pointing to the sign which 
 
 stood encircled and supportedLby the arms of the addled 
 
 amoroso; ... > - • 
 
 "I say, pay me for that. dress, and" bonnet„ and shawl." 
 
 " What !" said he, " has she got your clothes on ? How 
 
 beautiful they are ! She borrowed then) on purpose to see me 
 
 with,, didn't she? how 'much she did adore her Amaziah I 
 
 j\nd now the dear creature is speechless, and can't say a word. 
 
 O heavens ! Arid she js stiff too ! Only see! you can't bend 
 
 her a bit ! dfiar she will never meet me again — never think 
 
 of .me again — ^ never sjicak to me again.'' And dropping his 
 
 head upon her shoulder, he burst into tears, while with loud 
 
 wailing and lamentation he pressed the lifetess form to hia 
 
 ■"; S:4l 
 
 * .. ■ ■. ■.vi 
 
 M|t; 
 
, \' 
 
 ao 
 
 , hv C V IJOSTON 
 
 \ ■ 
 
 ■6 
 
 bosom. "" She ain't dct^^ neither, f^)!- only soo I how she sweats I 
 miniclo ! miracle I" he cjiiculutod, exulting and lau-hing 
 aloud through hirf tears. ' 
 
 <' Sweats ! miraele I you l^ol !" exclaimed Wilson, who sile'utly 
 waiting, had abundantly enjoyed the scene. " What the devil 
 arc you about hero? Hugging a woman of Hlrow and ro/fo)i, 
 and can't tcllperspiration on a human face from cold water on 
 ablockr \ * 
 
 " W-h-a-t ?" ."^aid TJu'lgcr with a bro;ul stare. " \Vell, that's 
 news anyhow, that women arc made of such stuff as straw and 
 cotton, and wear their bunnets on a block !!' 
 
 " tW's not the ease with 'em all," said Wilson. "Just 
 cottie with mc, and I wilf show you one who will m-Ao j/ou 
 ' sweat,' old fellow, and that without a ' miracle,' too." Then 
 turning to the milliner who had retreated towards the backv 
 part of the room, evidently concluding that Bad^'cr was a luna- 
 tic escaped from the asylum, he said to her, 
 
 "ril see this all made right, Mrs. Jones,'^ and taking Badger 
 by the arm, drew lum to the door, amid a crowd of men and 
 boys, attracted thither by the scene, and who probably would 
 have "hustled him out," had it not been for the protection of 
 his friend Wilson, who was a sort of acknowledged prince 
 among the people. As it was, thiy passed without being the 
 \ least, molested. The only noticeable dcmunstration, was a .'^ly 
 chuckling and elbowing, witjh the intorchunge of certain sig- 
 nificant looks at B.id'.ov's expense, although there was" discov- 
 erable something also which seemed to say, "that's a rich joke 
 on old maid Jones." The reluctance of our at-first-sight lover, 
 to leave the objectf of his adoration, though for the momeut 
 
 r 
 » 
 
. 1: i 
 
 ••.j^ 
 
 FoLLiKs oi' THE X I X T II Century. 37' 
 
 I 
 
 unyiolding was overcome by the revelation and promise ijaado 
 by Wilson; yet as they proceeded, Ainaziah fulling into ail*b-x 
 stracted mood could not lielp repeating to himself, 
 
 " Straw*and cotton— *S^-<.r-(»r?c — n-n-H—c-o-t-t-o-n. I afwayfl\\ 
 thought they were all real flesh and blood. But I can tell now, ^ 
 when I see, a bona fule, flesh and blood woman,-i/'«/ie 
 siccafs. ' - T :\ . — ^^^^ 
 
 " Come Badg., what the deuce Jfils you? You've soliloquized 
 long enough. Notv shorten that long phiz of yours and talk 
 wHh me awhile. Shall we take a turn out of town this after- 
 noon and call on that pretty little spinster? 'Wlu^t say you, 
 my boy ?'^ " ' .. - ' - 
 
 •^").e.«i, she's one of the genuine sort." v 
 
 ■■■ " And does she wear her bonnet on a Woe/.; .^" ' 
 
 '' Brains enough for you old fellow — a real head brim full 
 , of 'em." 
 
 The introduction of this topic aroused our absent-minded 
 bachelor again, and promenading arm in arm up and down 
 divers street-^, they at length reached the market, whither 
 Fame, swift-footed as usual, having preceded them, and a group 
 being assembled with Athenian curiosity', a lengthy discu^ion 
 ensued relative to the' love scene and various other questions! ■ 
 
 The day had so far advanced that a man's shadow did not/ 
 indicate his height. Badger's breakfast having J^en almost a 
 "fast" and the cxcitoment of his adventure naturally produ- 
 cing exhaustion, ho b.o.qin to have a realizing sense tluojt his 
 landlord's promiacd dinner would be exceedingly pijlatable. 
 
 Like a couple of lads, sent of an errand, and at last aware of 
 
 y~J 
 
88 
 
 L If (J Y ]J O S T O N 
 
 1 
 
 thoir tardiness in playing by the way, thoy made all speed 
 homeward. 
 
 Ascending to his room, Aniaziah found upon his table seve- 
 ral letters from esteemed friends. The seals were scarcely 
 broken when dinner was announced. 
 
 Sensible of a more " aching void" in his natural than social 
 stomach, the call was promptly- obeyed, and having demonstra- 
 ted his full appreciation of the good things of Providence, and 
 Dinah's kitchcnari/ skill, he returned to devour and digest the 
 contents of his epistles. 
 
 A feeling akin to cnniu, gradually oppressing him, he'kopt 
 his room with closed doors, his thoughts, meanwhile, alternat- 
 ing between the scenes of the morning and his engagement 
 with the mystei-ious visitor for ^c approaching evening. 
 
 Elongating himself upon the settee, ifl a sort of drowsy con- 
 sciousness, betwixt i'eflection and anticipation, disappointment 
 anSv^hope, the hours rolled lazily away. 
 
 As night approached, anxiety aroused him, and he was wide 
 awake. Curiosity and expectation were on tip-toe. Scarcely 
 could he keep from forcing the clock forward, impelling the 
 wheels of time to accelerate their spfccd. At length gray twi- 
 light came and with it he retired. 
 - -■ '. ■ ■ - ■. ^' ■ --■ .■; ■-,■■ ■ ■"■ • Vf ■ ■■ 
 
 t 
 
 \ 
 
peed 
 
 / 
 
 V 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Tbou romembor'at 
 Since once I pat upon a promontory, 
 And heard s mermaid on a dolphin's boc^. 
 Uttering «uch dulcet and liarmonlous breath, 
 That the tudo 9ca grew civil at her song : 
 And certain ptars shot madly ft-om their spheres, 
 To hear the sea-maid's music." 
 
 j0 
 
 I 
 
 THE "King of Day," m regal splendor, as if wearied in ^s 
 journey, had sunk to rest in liLs couch of gold; while th« 
 Queen of Night, in the absence of her lord — assuming the 
 riyht so generally clhimcd by ladies of .fashion when their 
 <lear(J) husbands are away or snugly in bed, (joodj kind mds 
 — issued from her eastern chamber of the palace, an-gyed in 
 robes of light, with cheek of hlusluiuj beauty— that crowning 
 charm of woman's charms -^ and with ' queenly grace glided 
 over the azure pavement in her evening promenade, and^ a la 
 helle, attended by a host of satellites, sQuie conspicuous by 
 their brilliancy, others obscure if not lost in th^'insignj^cance. ' 
 The laborer had ceased his toil an^ soughit repose. Terres- 
 trial Nature, as if fatioucd, seemed gently dropping into sleep . 
 £o restore her exhaus|!ed energies. The hours advanced and 
 all was still.. 
 
 Badger, awak^ and wakeful) stretched upon his lonely bed, 
 
 -•■■:::■-■■■ ^' "■.:•■..■" .,-■ \ .■^-.- ■ .-(39) • . 
 
 r^ 
 
 i 
 
■i%. 
 
 *^ Lucy Boston. 
 
 •waited the arrival of his vnyHlo iind hcrcloforo »riul 
 Tlsitant. 
 
 Ljing in a Male of nervous impationco, not unlike a Hupcr- 
 BtitiouH child peeping from under the coverlet, with every mus- 
 cle kct, to steal a glimpse of the inarvi'llous SantaX'hms, hiH 
 / anxiety increased to a pitch of intensity absolutely painful. At 
 length ho found r«lLef. Vunctual to appointment bef.»rc his as- 
 tonished gaze she stood, whom human lanj^nagc cannot describe, 
 neither pencil draw, nor imagination the most vivid portray. 
 
 Badger had often met>ith ladies decked and bcdizzencd' 
 with all that monry could obtain of the orunmenfs of a w.m- 
 dcrfully ornamental age, but there was sure to bo some draw- __ 
 back, some "fly in the ointment," th^t displeased Wni^ tk~^ 
 wrinkled or wry face, an unnatural color and expression, «ome 
 native or artificial deformity, a thing — whttter or not they 
 could remedy —alwriys repulsive to his ^kiu, tt|artificial ' 
 feelings. ^ 
 
 But not so slic, whom he now behold, shc^— 
 
 •*So k>T*ly fiilr, 
 
 That whBt f.oem-a Mr in «TI tLo workl, secinwl now 4-' 
 Mean, pr In liur urnaraM up.' > \.^_. ' 
 
 The reader naturally feels a curLity to know something Of 
 her exact appearance. Tliat i>i imp ...ibie without aetualV-i^ 
 sonal observation. But wove via to attempt lier dcseription, wo 
 
 ^ could only say, in most general terms, that she was neither too. 
 
 \ large nor too small, and of perfect form and ibaturc. : In her 
 contour were no shar^, j,oh,f.., nothing in the least degree an - ? 
 gul^r or stiff, but every line throughout was the gra.^eful eurvc 
 ««d voluptuous swell of beauty. Her eyes were rolling; (iiv. • 
 
 I' 
 
 ''i^ '■ 
 
'^' 
 
 F O L L I K H (II' Til K X r X T II C K N TIJ R Y . 41 
 
 I' 
 
 luontls, luriiinout with nparkliiig, y»'t mellow light of Hupcrior 
 iiitoJli;r('Uco, ponctniting tlio iiimoat houI of the bohoMer with 
 awo i^il u<tln»iiationi . 
 
 llci' cuinplexion, Ijko living alabaster kissed by tho brcatli of 
 iiioin, Wat) suiruscd — not* painted — as with tho blush of roses. 
 Iler teeth wero'bomely rows of whitest pearl. Ilcr hair, tho 
 color of her (^e.s, rieh and glossy as tho raven's win^, and, full: 
 lug in graceful, flmving curls about jier .. peric»> swept tho 
 ground. In forming his first jniprci^eiioti, a.s was his htibit when 
 uKc'tiiig a Htningor lady, he cast an involuntary glance at her 
 /( V, but they were nvnlc^tly conwalcd by tho drapery of her 
 lusfumc, tho exterior of which eonsisted of a simple, butamplo 
 ri/bc (-f efhertal texture and lightness — untrimmcd with gimp, 
 ruilleti or flouiKies. llor ungloved fingerij were not loaded with 
 rings nor Iver cars elongated with pendants, nor her bosom iset 
 Avith nio.saie. In short, kIio was destitute (^Jeiceh, and though 
 on this account in shockii% bud taste, according to the modoirn 
 code, yt.t in point of personal beauty she surpassed, if possible, 
 tho fabled \''cnus herself; . • 
 
 vMotionlcss and dumb under the powor^ji^J/hcr" enchantment, 
 otrr Uichclor was i'evolving in hi» mind whether what he saw 
 was roalify, an apparition, or. a tiream — when extending her 
 "arm, and pointing \\i him with her lliigor, in a clear, .commnml- 
 iiig tone of silvery smoothness and. thrilling power, she ad- 
 dro.'SL'd bim thus: ; 
 
 .^ 
 
 
 "^^ho oniv mnni believe and liced me wcllT 
 As woman liatcr, prince tui'l cliicf, art thoH 
 Soloctctl from thy race, to hoar fi'om wjii 
 
 ^ 
 
 Of what is past, aiitl thiiijf;« of coming time 
 
 ;» ^ 1. 
 
 ^-r. 
 
1^- 
 
•v 
 
 42 
 
 ,^^- 
 
 ■'* : 
 
 ■f 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ; Revealed - and me, &b thou believ'st, so others the« 
 
 Then silent heai-, and hearing understand. 
 I am the Spirit of a Jfermaicl, not 
 The fabled monster, false and ingrate man 
 Hath made me — bom, and following my birth, 
 A habitant of Fancy's shadowy, realm, 
 But substance -immaterial, yet substance; 
 An entity no less, although from eyes 
 Of gross tewcstrial Sense concealed have been, 
 Because of my ethcrial essence pure. 
 And deep disgust of loathsome man abhorr'd. 
 . With Time's primeval morning I began. 
 The first of human kind begot, and thrbugh 
 Succeeding ages of unnumbered years 
 In ocean depths have made my home 
 Sole mistress, seated on my coral throne, : 
 
 Unruled by tyrant man, by him unharmed, 
 The type and earnest of that great event. 
 
 The full emancipation of my sex. 
 
 To be no more enslaved and crushed by him 
 
 Who falsely styles himself «Ckeation's Lord.' • , 
 
 A mer-maH, for companionship to me ' 
 
 Was proflFered ; but I spumed the dang'rous gift. 
 The future evil seeing, as I did. 
 
 By the intuitive foreknowledge clear 
 
 Of my superior nature. — Man himself 
 ' I knew, fuU well I knew him, what his source ; 
 
 BisTiisposition what, and its results. 
 
 I^saw and felt, as portion of myself, 
 . The destiny of woman — enslaved by him 
 
 Whose mistress she was made to be -^ how slio 
 
 Of finer texture wrought, and higher mould, 
 Would yet by stratagem and force be made 
 
 4- 
 
y ■■; 
 
 Follies o*' thk XlX^rii Century. 48 
 
 To own herself to be — what she was not — 
 The 'weaker veasel'^ Yes, a AuiA — a. thing l 
 ^'0 man, to me, invisible and unknown, 
 Think no^ thyself to be, because myself 
 Unseen/ by thee, am in thy books writ down 
 A mytn, a visionary genus, hitched 
 And/nurtured in prolific Fancy's brain. 
 A wceptic art thou still— like all thy race ? 
 
 len, hark ! is empty ghost, or phantom vain,' ^_^ 
 
 truth, endowed with s^nse, perception, thought? 
 Whence then the plainly manifested pow'r 
 iif yester eve, the voice thou hearest now. 
 And sense of actual things which I can tell? 
 'Tis granted then, if I describe in speech, ^ 
 What real is, so t am real too. 
 No easier proof I ask, for, prithee, mark! 
 Have I not seen the sailor, tempest tossed, ^ 
 
 Ride lordly on the surging sea, and in 
 The face of angry, howling tempest laugh? 
 And oji his haughty brow, did I not Tead 
 Inscribed, 'in maw alone such courage dwells!' 
 Have I not seen, contending, hostile fleets . 
 Enwrapped with flame and smoke, their decks submerged 
 In blood ! in human blood ! and shed for what ? 
 To glut the hellish pride jmdliate of man. 
 Have I not seen the pirate, stealthy fiend, 
 With heart'of steel, his trade of death pursue, ' 
 
 And hear the helpless victims of his fell 
 Attack surviving, send up piteous cries. 
 With sound discordant mixed of fetters harsh, 
 And clanking chains, and crack of bloody whip, 
 Rich music making in th' oppressor's ears? 
 And on the Alpine wave, uplifted high. 
 
^ 
 
 M " Lucy Boston. 
 
 ' ■ * 
 
 Have I not seen ami heard embattled liosts, 
 Earth trembling 'ncnth the tread of their proud march, 
 And in their track nought left behind 
 . Butdesolation vast of fire and sword? 
 To all of this have I not whness been ?. * 
 And more, arfe/i/7;»ft<m more,,whercof, 
 -Were it the present aim of my intent V 
 I could relate. But well may this suffice * 
 
 V— J. To prove I am no apparition vain, , . . ^ 
 
 Of brain diseased, nor fancy's idle dream ; 
 But what I. claim myself to be, as here 
 "^ I stand, in presence of thy setises sane, , 
 
 -.« , For talljr not my* words thus far with truth ? 
 
 And how could I of things converse, if not 
 ;.. " With them conversant? But enoiigh — 'tis plain 
 
 That I am I, as true, as thou art thou. 
 So.here I rest my claim to thy regard. 
 Thou hast been always taught and thus believed, 
 That ' God-like Man,' created first and best. 
 On earth has ever reigned supreme, and will 
 ,| . Throughout all time— the universal /jcat/. > 
 
 ■ While AVoman, formed of coarser clay, the /«c« 
 . Of all has been^ and is to be, because 
 
 The All-wise Maker of them both, designed 
 It thus — and nought his stern degree can change. 
 But canst thoii, in thy reason," tell me whetf 
 / And where He so ordained, or answer, why 
 In Eden, haughty Adam seized the reins 
 Of power, and made his wife, fair Eve, a slave, 
 
 . And doomed her daughters, Mr as she, to bow : 
 
 Beneath the yoke,jsubmissIye to the sons. 
 Taught by their sire in his own steps to walk ? ' / . 
 
 :V: I tell thee from the Spirit-Land, where all 
 
 ! . 
 
 I). 
 
 -f 
 
 ilifei a!. <i- « '^i^«iBtjs»i f t4{> te -^A-i«!,^ jl<,tt . , f 
 
 ^f«JjJ-' i 
 
Follies OF 'i>iie XIXtii Century. 45 
 
 ij 
 
 1 ; 
 
 That's true or iH'^c, appears in light — Adam ^ 
 Usurped domhnou ; foolish Eve obeyed, 
 And thus the course bf iomalerscrVitudo 
 Began. Alas! alas! tlic bitter fruit 
 And sad, of one co^i^ccssion, blindly made 
 By woman, ere hejM»|ive strength she knew. 
 IVhy, u'hij, sir, iJHBpH'pman sway the world? 
 If thou canst tell mc^^cttk, and I will hear, 
 Or otherwise forBear thy speech. — Tongue-tied? 
 Well niay'st thou be, nor dare to vindicate 
 Thy rule, obtained and kept by fraud and force. 
 Enough ! Main object of my mission here ■ 
 
 la not to rcafion, hut. to P'W^'f-V/! 
 Unfolding to thy view the Spirit- World, 
 And through ftic Medium of that higher sphere, 
 To thee revci»l Avhat soon shall come to pass. 
 And fix thej^iing destiny of earth. 
 
 When spirits leave this world, female and male 
 They mingle still — but in their state reversed. 
 There ivoman holds the scepti-c, man obeys. 
 She by her own inherent right, and he 
 By this one universal law on all 
 Things stamped, create and uncreate, in earth 
 And Heaven — ' the greater shall the less control.' 
 And as he grows in virtiic, knowledge, love, . 
 To higher rank and purer sphere ascends, • 
 Promoted by his queenly sovereign. Thus 
 Progressing in the upward scale, till such 
 A measure of perfection gained, as makes 
 It meet, him we allow to yisit earth 
 Again, but in his mission circumscribed 
 By us, in narrow range of liberty, 
 
 o '- 
 
k 
 
 ■>■■ ■ v|H 
 
 ., V 
 
 M 
 
 J, 
 
 '-'■> 
 
 / • 
 
 46 
 
 l»i/e,Y B'oston' . 
 
 -■ " . • ■ ' ■ - • ' • • ' 
 
 . / ^^ ^e »>y ^'m, ere Spirils we became, ' 
 
 (tn outraged woman's name, not mine, I speak,). 
 And ou^wn right of sterile rule assumed, ^ 
 Which, mark it, sir, we never will resign, 
 V For well we know our native, rightful pow'r, '^ 
 
 ^.^ And how to use i| we have learned as well. 
 Now, fiear this prophccyj and writ&it deej) 
 Upor^ihe tablet of thy memoryV^ • \. 
 
 ^ Ott earth, ere thy remaining sjtnds are run," 
 ^Shall man to "his own proper Iwel fall, • ' ■ 
 
 AAd woiffan rise, her place to take and rule f " 
 As he has ruled, he serving her henceforth, ' * 
 
 . /^s hithwto she him,in slavish fear 
 M^d bondage bound, in chains he cannot break,. -^. 
 // And hence is doomed to wear, though chafed and-gall'd 
 Beneath the iron smking in his flesh , ' ' 
 And eating to the very bono, and when. V * • 
 Imploring royal woman, to restore • 
 Tlip 'rights of man,'.for toswer this receive, 
 'Remember woman's uronffs;' and if thou dare- 
 Thy cause maintain, thy freedom to demand. 
 With lip of scorn, or flatt'rihg tongue that stings, * 
 Be coolly told ' man's weakness 4s h^ pow'r.' 
 Incredulous? Nay, flatter noAhyself, -. 
 Because the proud usurper's dynasty " T 
 
 Can boast a hoary hge, the^efoire it can 
 Defiance bid to change, and stand secure 
 Against a*ilhostile force till time shall end. '' 
 .Thus might it be,^ere abject woman left ? ' 'i 
 In ignorance profoiind, the yoke to wear ! \ :^' 
 lAiconscious quite of freedom's priceless boon; W^ 
 But fliich, be thanks, is not her hapless lot- • ' , 
 
 i-/ 
 
 ■r ;, ■: 
 
 .,*!*■ 
 
X-,^ 
 
 / '•. 
 
 ^' 
 
 /■ 
 
 F L L I k 8-0 r T 11 E^ X \X^ H^OlJ N T U E x^, 47 
 
 ,,From foreign sourcie, behold, deliverancfe eomcB — 
 The growing degradation <?f our sex, 
 
 . -Beneath oppression's heel 4)f iron "crushed^ 
 
 . From age tjp age with spipit eyes wp view'd, _ , 
 And with increasing years, ouir sympathies 
 Increased, until with indignation all ■'.<■'.' 
 
 Ablaze, on interventionf we rfcsolved, 
 
 ' To set gur long imprisoned sister^frte 
 And rigl^leous vengeance qn their foe to' take. 
 
 'AH f"Mpale splrjtdom 'th^ crusade joined, t' , 
 And though thd Seven-Spheres, with sey'n high grails, 
 
 ' And thick as high, of iadamant uprea^red, \ '*/ 
 .Copo^l^c, twn'd and'^edged us rotind,.'* sras.viite. 
 
 > As soon might mountains intercept tEe"da^, .j|v ■ _ 
 A spider's web the tempest bini, or fogs • .^ < 
 Dam, up Niagawi, for every nerve- . . ^ .• 
 And muscle of our spirit powei^, surcharged, ' •" , 
 ' And to-ihe last decree of tension strained- " ',-, % 
 
 . By supernatural energy, and mof cd , ';<.?" 
 With concer^tratedvTOrength of purpose fixed, : V , 
 THl irrepressible, our ?t;i7Z,'like spark 
 Electric touched the living" magazine. '^ ' .. ' 
 
 [Tie firm celestial hills did rock, convulsed, 
 
 r ' «'■■■*'' 
 
 Afi part, broke through the massive gates,, ' '.^ 
 
 part; the lofty ramparts scaled, 
 An^all our myriad hosts rushed down 
 A swift aVtenging4,avalanch'o . > 
 
 To eartii— and hence the origin , ,-* 
 
 Of spiritwd intercourse with men. — ' • 
 
 With pruden^ecresy and wise foreejwt, '} ^ 
 
 Our sentinels were placed, and spies sefib forth .. •., 
 i. !R> recpnnpitre, ere the blow we strik% • '. . • 
 
 ,--• V 
 
 
 
 
I 
 
 V 
 
 48,: 
 
 '&- 
 
 r. 
 
 ^ 
 
 r 
 
 u t; V 
 
 i> Id T O, N 
 
 Disguiso-l tl.oy ^vcnt, nndjirst in llochostcr, , 
 By frtnit.igeii), tlic ciiniiiiig "/'w,.t" gained ' 
 A stctiltliy entrance to tlio hostile canip, 
 Where by their inystic arts the way prepared — 
 And noAv, all things for c(Aj<iuest ripe, I come 
 To preach rebellion — mutiny to raise 
 - -And every wherc^excito the holy war. — 
 Our eager troops do but tile signal wait, 
 Then break' w'c forth like rolling mountain waves, 
 . llesi.stless in oiu- mighty ftnward SAveop 
 Till rescued be from plund'ring infidel 
 Our sweet and sacred shrine of Liberty. — - 
 'Tis done — the fire-brand of strife I hurl, 
 .Which quickly kindling at my breath, doth raise 
 A conflagration man can never qnench. 
 The dny of glory dawns, the golden age 
 ■Too long delayed, but hasting on apace, ' i 
 
 The brightest page in all the Book of Time. 
 No more in kitchen or in.jiurs'ry caged. 
 But in the chair of state we '11 proudly sit. 
 And then, man, in petticoats adorned, 
 And in the vacant offices installed 
 Of steward, wet-nurse, chamber-maid, combined. 
 Shall learn to cook, and scrub, and cradle rock; 
 And while in legislative hall 'our voice 
 In counsel and in high debate is hoard, -' ■ - 
 At homo, Shalt thou the day and night employ, 
 With trotting of thy foot, and song of nullahy: 
 In fine, 'tis settled, man shall leave the «box,' ' 
 We mounting up, will take^the reigns and drive. 
 AVhat now thou /<eam^ thou art Roomed to fed. 
 Awake and watch ! Behold ! Believe ! Adieu ! " 
 
 * 
 
 al 
 sp 
 bi 
 
f-'i- 
 
 FoLLiES OP THE XIXt'h Centurt. 49 
 
 Thus the Spirit spoke aocl vanished. Never before did elo- 
 quence so hold and charm a listener.* Wrapped in unaccount- 
 able composure, and hanging with such rapture up<)n her 
 speech, he took no note of time, The interview seemed to him 
 
 but a passing moment as he gently sank into sleep's embrace 
 
 '■,. ■■ .■ . . . » • 
 
 ' s« 
 
 V 
 
 \: 
 
 / 
 
 ■:• '.. « 
 
 ^■■J 
 
 ' «: 
 
■:* 
 
 X 
 
 4 
 
 GHAPTEK V. 
 
 <'ThoM hearts thAitart at once into i b1as«, 
 And open all tbeir rag«, like summer Btorma 
 At once discharged, groir cool again and calm." 
 
 AMAZIAHoawokp with <Jie peep of day, and with the sud, 
 -started forth fresh as the mornpg! Strange to say his ' 
 sl^^fibers had been profound. Thfese nocturnal visitations from 
 church-yards and drjeam-laijd are sufficient to banish sleepj^ 
 making on^ feel feverish and dull, if they do not furnish a ' 
 liberal instalment of sore eyes and headache. But not so in 
 this instance. Never did our bachelor friend rise more invigo- ' > 
 rated or in better spirits: Opening thq window, he drank the 
 ^'*°/°^/^?*l|^®^®*^ -^^ landscape and thought upon the pro^ 
 i^^^<^^'^|i|MJ^utomoned him to breakfast, wiiich he an- 
 swered wwllififflpile step and a good appetite. 
 
 On entering' the dining-room his landlady, who from some 
 cause had become appeased, saluted him with, 
 
 "Good morning, sih You will talaj this seat,".|ointing to * 
 a chair in her own vicinity. / ^ 
 
 Somehow this struck him as a peremptory command, and 
 wlich oifdinarily must have grated harshly on his feelings, but' 
 under the pressure of a secret constraint, he cheerfully obeyed. ' 
 
 " Friend Badger, shall I serve you with a bit of our choico* * 
 
 
 ■J 
 
 4 « 
 
 V 
 
^■ 
 
 his 
 om 
 
 I- a ' 
 
 in 
 
 go- 
 ;be 
 »•(>• 
 m- 
 
 no 
 
 to ' 
 
 Qd 
 ut' 
 
 d. 
 
 « 
 
 CO 
 
 
 ■J 
 -I « 
 
 ^ 
 
 ¥■ 
 
 Follies of thiT XIXtii Century. 61 
 
 » .','■','■•■ ' ' 
 
 beef-steak ?" said Wilson, entering tliQ room and approaching 
 the, table. V 
 
 " I've ordered it," said Mrs. Wilson'. "Yoivmay as well 
 breakfast now." f 
 
 At that instant the bell of the milkman was heard in tho^ 
 street; '"'.':-.■■"" '^ , ■ ■ ■-■■•■'■•.. -.... • . 
 
 "Step to the door and tell him' to send in "Six quarts, it is- 
 baking-day," was the landlady's mandate to her husband. 
 • Upon an ordinary observer, this cdlloquy would have prol^uced 
 no very particular injpressidn, but to Badger, who listened with 
 fixed attention, the words hod special significancy and mani- 
 festly pointed ^war([^ the^fulfillmcnt of ifiie prophecy. It was 
 plain to his observatioi>> thae> his landlady was already to all 
 intents and purposes> ^' misVess of the mansion." She gave 
 orders; others obeyed. , . 
 
 Now many would set Mrs. Wilson down for * vixen, 
 great mistake, as we can demonstrate. ' 
 
 Among others, according to the doctrine of Spiritualism, there 
 are Impressible and Involuntary Mediums. That is to say, as 
 Satan used thp Serpent, iA like manner the spirits impress in- 
 dividuals into their service, infusing thoughts into the mind 
 and touching the secret springs of volition, so that this kind of 
 Mediums are unwittingly the machines by and through which 
 spiritual Igents operate in the accomplishment of their purposes 
 
 in this terraqueous sphere. . #• 
 
 , Such was Mrs. Wilson, who among a multitude of others, 
 was made a kind of forerunner of universal female do- 
 minion. ■■ ,■■.■■.-;''■■.■',,■'■■' • ■■'■■■-'• 
 "The milkman says be can't -spare, you so much wtthbut 
 
 vrf 
 
 J ' 
 
■* 
 
 \ 
 
 52 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 
 disappointing some of his customers," reported WiliMi, fe- 
 cntering the room. 
 
 " Tell him if I can't have what milk if want, I'll order it' 
 
 from Bomcwhcro else," replied his medium spouso. You know 
 
 it was baking-day, and why didn't you direct him to fetch an 
 
 • extra quantity this morning. The blockhead miglit have known 
 
 himself 'twas my baking-day."^ - — : — — — 
 
 No one adminstcring fuel, the firo would naturally have died 
 out, but i^ Mrs: Caudlo Spirit giving her a nudge at the elbow 
 to " go ahead," her tongue ran on. 
 
 pr" A man never wfll learn nothing anyway only to make poor 
 woniaji slave herself to death for him. I wish you had to, do 
 the baking and then see how you'd get along without milk. 
 There's never nothing done if I don't see to it myself. I'd like 
 to see a man take charge of a boarding-house, a spell. Every- 
 body would starve to death." 
 
 Not a word escaped Badger's ears. To him each syllable 
 was full of meaning, and he carefully registered them in his 
 memory. 
 
 "I wish you had to do the bdking." ; 
 Hearing this, ho was on the point of imparting to/her the 
 pleasing mtelligence that she waa destined soon to have her 
 wish gratified, but the incessant rattle of her " unruly member" 
 (or ruling member, to use the strictness of the " womans rights" 
 nomenclature) deterring him, he held silence, with the design, 
 however, of venturing the suggestion at the close of her harangue,, 
 and would have carried out his intention, had he not been taken 
 aback by the expression that she "should like to see a man 
 take charge of a boarding-house." 
 
 '.liab ' 
 
^' 4- 
 
 F0LLIK8 OF Tiu: XIXtu Century. 6S 
 
 " A^»<1 who htvfl the tnanagctncnt ,of tlio house, if your hus- 
 band don't," usked Badger very innocently.' 
 
 "I suppose I am the man of tlio house," said Wilson. 
 " The responsibility seems to bo on niy shoulders, but then I 
 Jlruat my wife to keep a little lookout." 
 
 " Notby a long chalk," said she, " I'd have you understand 
 
 '. that /am the manager of this establishment, sir. Things go 
 
 hero as /say. It belongs to me to order what I wish, and if 
 
 I can't have it, I'll " 
 
 ( « Why didn't you order the milk then," said Badger, inter- 
 rupting her in his good-natured simplicity. , 
 
 " That's not my business, sir. It belongs to the mm to see 
 that things tire ffot. How do you suppose we can get along 
 and keep boarders, unless the men jwovido? Do yeu think 
 poor woman can do everything? all her own work and tlio 
 men's too? 1 always have ever since I was married, but its 
 settled, I shall not do it any longer. Now I guess you under- 
 stand it," said Mrs W., with that peculiar expression and em- 
 phasis which none but a (h'tcrminrd vroman can give. # 
 
 ."You may be compcUed to before long perhaps," said 
 
 'Badger: .,■'..■,..... '..^■^.'- . .-.. -. .- ,..^.,. ■ :- ' -. ■. . ■ ..■':-. 
 
 *' "I know you men w^ould be •:l!\il to have us do your 
 
 business, and wait on^ou besides; buH for />»/<?, I've got too 
 
 iiiych spirit to uphold your lapiiess. 1 only wish I had a 
 
 ' halter round every man's neck in the world." 
 
 <* What tv-ould you do in ?uc;h a case," said Badger. " You 
 wouldn't be so hard-hearted as to chukc them, would you?" 
 
 " I'd niake'eni stand about and know their place. I'd learn 
 
 
 them ^)ettcr than to let \xa get out of milk un a baking-day. 
 
 .1 ■ 
 
 5* 
 
 -«;- 
 
 siafc„' 
 
 W; 
 
-^wm-' '■'^^^ I 
 
 V 
 
 64 
 
 •■:4i- 
 
 4 Lu'ov Boston. 
 
 " Why not jusi ortTer your husband into the kitchen ?" laid 
 Badger, Bomewhat boldly, "and make him do tho baking, and 
 f/ou providp tho milk ?" .A 
 
 " Tea, that's it, wife, exactly. I'll «wap clothes with you. 
 Give mo charge of tho domoatios a flpell. I should mako one 
 of the landladies, wouldn't I?" said Wilson; at the aamo timr 
 
 in^his playful manner, chuckling her under the chin. T^ 
 ' " That's a fuir offer, I'm sure," said Badger. 
 
 "Oyes, you men aro always .very fair to offer when you 
 know nobody will tako you up. I should look pretty doing 
 out-door drudgery. Wo women have always been made slaves 
 of, and always will be, I suppose. You'd be glad to have us 
 hoe corn, milk tho cows, curry the horses, black your boots, 
 and do all your filthy work for you, no doubt; but you'll never 
 see that day, I can tell you.'* 
 
 " Well, wife, this won't mako milk. Take your choice in 
 the offer I've made you. K I am to bo installed in the kitchen 
 I w,8h to be off, and have things done up in double-quick time. 
 And if you are going to succeed me, you — " 
 
 " Yes, I know it," interrupted she; "you men are always 
 in a great huriy, but n-vcr do nothin*'." 
 
 O ..-■■■ ■ 
 
 " I'm sure Mr. W'ii.oa has made you a verjr fair offer," said 
 Amaziah. * . 
 
 " Yes, I s'^ose you think if you could get rid of mc you'd 
 have fine times. It is a contrived plan between you and my 
 husband; I see through it. I've seen a good many things 
 lately. Now I'm satisfied," and she went off muttering, " Nice 
 c.nt.iv.nco thi.-^ things have come to a pretty pass~he 
 
 Jv>iug kiuhou vvuiii Willi Kate and Dinah !" 
 
 A 
 
 \'l 
 
 .:^' 
 
 ^(^ 
 
\ 
 
 ''Ik. 
 
 r 
 
 
 P0LLIR8 Of TUB ^IXtII 
 
 RY. 
 
 66 
 
 not yet' 
 
 Fortunately for tho good fame of our 
 mcnt tho other boarders, being unusuolly^ 
 
 como in. ' / • - ?-» ^^ , 
 
 X «My ivifo Bocms a little out of sorts this morning," sdilf 
 Wilson. "But you mustn't mind what she says — only A 
 4ittle storm — will Boon blow over. Those women arc quoer_^ 
 things sometimes." * . :^ • 7/ ^ 
 
 i "There's no difference in 'cm I suppose," said Badger. 
 ^ " 0, about as much ag between two peas. After all, we 
 ^inust usually let them have their qjvn way. Sometimes, when 
 their mettle is' clear up and they get too fractious, wo find it 
 necessary to curb 'em a little, just as you do unruly colts. In 
 extreme cases we are obliged to put on tho real snaffle-hi 
 which, you know, in good bauds, either holdi them tight or 
 breaks their Jtt if." / 
 
 "Don't vDU think she was a little too /os/, just now?" asked 
 
 Araaziah. 
 
 « 0, tho devil, no : That's nothing. It isn't a circumstance. 
 
 If you don't meet that in your daily experience when you get 
 
 a wife, you'll be a lucky chap," said Wilson, laughing. « I'll 
 
 ' go to the kitchen and have all smooth in five minutes." He 
 
 followed to the basement, where he found Mrs. Wilson and 
 
 Dinah. ■ ' •*vt-;.^^•■. ' - ■■ ''"-.. 
 
 « You've come, have you ?" said bis wife. " I suppose you 
 
 calculate on taking charge here, don't you? You'll find your- 
 
 self mightily mistaken. Don't you think, Dmah, he wants to 
 
 ■. come and take my place here, in overseeing the kitchen 
 
 work." 
 
 "Pat would be fun. Ya-ya-ya— let him come, missus. 
 
 '■m- 
 
66' 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 h V 
 
 \ 
 
 '■■¥*- 
 
 Wouldn't wo hab big times wid naassa down here, ya-ja-ja? 
 Hab lots 0' fun/' said Dinah, showing all her ivory, and turn- 
 ing up the white of her eye in a sideway glance toward Wilson. 
 > « There, what did I tell you ?" said Mrs. W;, her black orbs 
 flashing ^rcen," I knew this had been all talked over before. 
 Ah, sir, you can't cheat m^: - Pretty place this, for yow and 
 that good-for-nothing old^bachelor. Nice- contrivance !-so 
 ..barefaced. U makes my blood fairly boil to think of it 
 Where's Badger? I'll give him a piece of my mind he'll re- 
 mernbei^' and she started for the stairs. ' v 
 
 "trhit's right. Go and give him fits," said Wilson. 
 "Iwon'tstirastep, nother. That's ju^t another contriv: 
 ance of yours. Not one single step will I stik I'll stay here 
 till doomsday, first." - -\ 
 
 At that instaiit the hall-bell rung. 
 
 "I wonder who's come now?" asked 3Irs. AYilson. "Solfae- 
 body that wants to board, I presume, and not ^ drop of milk 
 m the house., Never was poor woman so tormented in this 
 world as I am. I'm sick of 'living. I can't take him. Tell 
 him I don't want any more boarders," and down she sat, with 
 an " dear ! I wish I'd never got mar^ied.'^ ' 
 
 A few mintites sufficed for the steam to escape, and our 
 landlady was measurably cooled, when Dinah, in the simplicity 
 and kindness of her heart, remarked, 
 
 "Guess Missus not berry well dis mo'nin. Guess as how 
 8he betta retar to bed an she feel berry much bettar. I do do 
 work. Missus." " 
 
 This br6ught our landlady instantly to her feet, in a fit of 
 perfect madness, exclalminir. 
 
 /- 
 
 s 
 
 ^? h 
 
 
 
 a 
 ii 
 
A' 
 
 H 
 
 Foi/lies of the XIXth Century. 57 
 
 " Another smart contrivance. l^Jiat B€ver cama from your 
 
 thick skull, you black wench you. It's some of my smart hus- 
 
 ' - ■ '■ / ■ ■■ • • 
 
 &antZ'« Running." ' • • 
 
 "I yWonder who it was that come in above, just now. I 
 Bhoul4 like to know," said Wilson. 
 
 " Cro and see yourself, then," said his wife, with emphasis. 
 "This is your third contrivance. Just like you, to get some, 
 And to call on purpose. You can*t^ cheat me. I can see 
 through you aii4 all the mV7<7cr« in America." 
 
 " Guess I'll resign my station here," said Wilson, as he left 
 he kitchen, his &e«cr7ta(/"(?) resuming her seat. 
 
 Entering the sftting-room he found one of the common 
 itinerant pedlars, displaying to gre^ advantage a "large assort- 
 ment" of jewelry, dress and fancy goods. Badg«r sat listening 
 to the pedestrian merchant as he lavished a profusion of praises 
 upon his diflFerent " wares." Wilson, from curiosity or some 
 other motive^ priced the various articles composing his "choice 
 and elegant stock." • 
 
 lileanwhile a tlwught suddenly flashed across the mind of 
 Mrs. Wilson, and she sprang to her feet, exclaiming, 
 
 " Thdt's jjist like him — he's fooled me after all," and away' 
 she bounded up-stairs. Rushing into the sitting-room in hot 
 haste, behold ! husband, Amaziah and pedlar with goods spread 
 out in grand display. She entered the r&om with threatening 
 aspect, but a sudden change came over her, Stepping forward 
 she made a general survey of the various dresses — then select- 
 ing a pattern, and. folding it oflF at arm's length*, remarked in a 
 half-soliloquizing tone, (_ 
 
 " THat would make up beautifully, wouldn't it?" and in a 
 
 Hr r 
 
 *5 .t-i 
 
T'-. 
 
 
 fi*^' 
 
 Hi 
 
 .-•A. 
 
 68 
 
 Lucy Bostojt 
 
 loving way addedf^h a f mile, " don't you think so, hus- 
 band?" ' . 
 
 " It's a very nice pattern, my dear." ; 
 
 " What's the price of this, Mr. Bedlar ?" asked she. 
 "Eighteeri toller, mom — pe cheap — kot no more," answer- 
 ed the Jew. f * 
 
 " Has anybody in the place bought one like it ? " 
 ~ " No, maddom — pe no more in New Yok — me sell cheap 
 — ten me sell again ven me come — pe nice," said the wary 
 merchant, hia. little black orbs twinkling, yet ppaque with secre- 
 tiveness. ^ ^ 
 
 " Can't you take any less for it?" asked she, in the peculiar 
 Jewing tone. ^ „ * 
 
 "Me sell you fo' sev'teen toller — ten me sell you some 
 chewelri/ — cheap," said he. ,«^ 
 
 " Don't you think I better take it, husband? I've been want- 
 ing a new dress some time," and without waiting for a reply, 
 said to the pedlar, " I guess I'll take it," and it was carefully 
 laid aside. 
 
 " Have you got any nice chimesettes ?" inquired she. Upon 
 which he made a fine display, archly repeating the salesman's 
 
 formula. ® 
 
 * Cheap — nice— fright from France — 7<;o< ^p more li'kc." 
 Taking one from the fancy ^apartment, antf^holding it up 
 before Wilson, ^he said, with that same winning smile, '^ 
 
 " That is just like one Mrs. Dafort from Washington had on 
 at the party. It was the handsomest thing I ever set eyes on, 
 and -I made up my mind to %et one the very first chance. . 
 Don't you remember it, husband ?" 
 
«9. 
 
 ■'k% 
 
 m. 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 .-• 
 
•«■ 
 
 / 
 
 m. 
 
 '■/■■ ■■•■ 
 
 c 
 
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 I 
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 ■ ] 
 
 
 4:- 
 
■^v- 
 
 
 -*^» 
 
 .- ::.\^ ■■■■- ■ .-■■ , ' 
 
 • YdXtizs OF TiiK XIXtii Oentury. 69 
 
 "Yes," said the pedfar, "nie sell godf many to ladie in/ 
 Vashin 'totf ' — Tish be jist like vun me seli to preshede]a(t 
 ladie. She kif m6 fifHen toller— me sell it you fo* fo'te^.'* 
 
 "Don't you: think,*liu8band, tbat would be just the /hing 
 with my new dress?" • 
 
 "It would be a very pretty rig, my doar." 
 ' " I knew that >as JiK?t the one jou wanted me to have, 
 when I selected it," said she^nd thjis another/Bargain was 
 closed, and the chimesette was -carefully placed with the dress. 
 
 "What splendid jewelry you havd. AllyneyF style," swd 
 Mrs. Wilson, as she took up a bracelet ^hich particularly 
 attracted her admiration, and adjusting it/ upon her. wrist she 
 placed it before Wilson's eyes, coquettishly exclaiming, " Isn't 
 that hemitifulf husband? there aint one in the place like it. 
 Mfs. Rowe's thai she got in A||)anY/isn?^ear so handsome." 
 
 " It is a nice article," 'said the landlord. 
 
 " Me sell goot many like, inY ashingtoiji," pit in the artful 
 Jew. * " Me sell one fo' twenty-two toller, put m^rell you io* 
 tweutee toller — pe te lasht me kot 80 koot." ■.; • . *» 
 
 "As it suits Hay husham so well, I guess we'll faCke it,'/ 
 said she, with feigned i4luctance. •" There is a good many 
 things that L^phould li^e, but weren't feel able to buy just 
 now," added the p/cified landlady with the peculiar air of 
 
 poverty. , ■ : / ''^' : v'" '^ "' ' ' ,. /■- 
 
 " See^ madden^ tislj prcsh-pin pe made to ko mit te prace- 
 
 let — pe chean^me sell;all td ladies in Vashington/' coyly 
 
 remarked ther Jesuit pedlar. ^\ i 
 
 " I sJiouM look awful awkward with this new bracelet and my 
 
 old breasi-pi^, wouldn't I, husband ?" observed the wife, look- 
 
 f.' 
 
 lib' 
 
 <*' 
 
pt ?'»!'' 
 
 m'^ 
 
 60 
 
 ■:^i 
 
 
 
 v^'4« 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 
 
 •■i:>; 
 
 
 ;iK ' » ■ 
 
 
 ing up,' the pictu0^l!|^»|^| 
 Aifei -"Of <^oursiB-it^ocs5*r'' '" 
 
 
 ?fteeh- tclKr put W»a«^l toti fb' f erteen 
 r-Hlpe \ <iW||fe-H cqiiht me W* -^ J^lit 'ftpnj Paris — r pe 
 i B|i)nie so pettiEn?. «^M?j||» t)sb ^unthne/fisaid ytne ; pcdostnan 
 hpAbi-cbant, his iittI™»r(hMria|i orbs sparklbg wt^'i'ss^isfafction . 
 ' ^ V ■' j^, iJiiti l|ie splendid l)i;^(^l^e' wis c|%ing, 4nd so, tlie^lbreastpin ' 
 
 : .^ ?1f!I s'pbs^Slh^^ Difiah will ' 
 
 •j ;eip<^t isomething^] 'I'Ve^ got^so many n things. Other 
 
 peoifle, y^VL knpw, |pwi|%,their sferVant^. presents." ' * , 
 
 ■ > c . ■ ■, >• ''4.''""* '■' '■■ \ •■ ■ 
 
 " Q yeS)' ■ , he ' rejjiea, )p|astin'g a sly wink at Badger, '* they 
 
 ' are ^t-rate girlsf^&ue^s you better pleases/em a little.'* „ * 
 
 And sq*to top out the trade she purchiisea\and. gregentcd to *"^ 
 
 Kat^ and l)ijiiah, each la c/tcop ring.' \ * V ' , 
 
 ^ 'Wilsog, like any wnorc-sOuIcd hUshaqMfto n^es pleasure 
 
 in gratifying bis wife, "cashed the billpPl^houtVa word of 
 
 ^ complaint, atid> the pedlar, chuckling over his success^ took his 
 
 departure, in quest of other Tustomers. 
 
 Mrs. Wilson was charmiflgly pleasant; haviflg carefidlly laid 
 
 b^ her "new things," hei;' e^c happened to catch the dial of 
 
 the time-piece. ^ > > V /. 
 
 ,^" Mercy on us,'* exclaimed 8h^>'''1ieiii^ it is/ almost ten 
 
 ' o'clock. It's time this minute to begin dmncr. What dislP 
 
 r««^ 
 
 :?^mM 
 
 - wy 
 
 ■%• 
 
 m 
 
 ' - ■ ■ MJ 
 Ma »1 
 
 >0^ 
 
 W 
 
 ch( 
 
 loi 
 
 *• f 
 
 
 ft*. 
 
 M 
 
 a 
 
 te 
 
 m 
 b 
 
 Vi 
 
 .81 
 
 1 
 
 
 
 
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 '■■» ' * ■" ■ 
 
 ^ 
 
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 ■*«■ 
 
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 U' 
 
 
 
 ,'.X"> 
 
 I 
 
 51' ■I li 
 
 fim 
 
 '^^W- 
 
 Ffe'A • T mi LIBS P UH E X I X T H CENTURY. 61 
 
 'w«|l*yiliiK to-dfay, inydear Harry? and what would suit 
 
 ^yoMrpalate best, Mr. Badger?" . 
 ' " The good pleasure of my landlady," replied the latter. 
 
 « Yes, iny wife's a woman of unquestionable taste/' said 
 Wilson, and away she flew to the kitchen, light as a bird, and 
 cheerful as a May-day morning. ■ t ' 
 
 i( There— all right now, you see, dqn't you?" said the land^, 
 1- ■ ' ■ 
 lord. . 
 
 "Yes, but how loiij> will it last ?" enquired Amaziah. 
 . "Can't tell anything about it. Th6 devil may be to pay in 
 a week, or the fit may not come on again in a month — can't 
 tell anything about it." 
 ^< Well, you're sur^ it will <««n^^n in the course of a 
 
 month, are you ?'* < » 
 
 ;, « Never knew her a month without a 'tantruniy in my life — 
 but can't tell any thing at .all about it. You migU as well ask 
 when the weathercock wiU^ntNorth. M|Sfi«i, or a thunder- 
 
 .stk comB up,as to ^^^^^^^^ *° ^"^^ '^ 
 «/zr — it'; jiSsI asjk'hkppens, and •%'8i^^^ one can 
 
 
 ♦ ^ 
 
 
 gajrabout it. , - ■;,; s:: /^■- < .■^- .'"' ■'■::^.^[-M /> , ^ 
 •«Do»'t.th|y ever come out o^ their fits until yow buy thtm 
 
 som,ething handso^ie I M ^ ' ■ ■^ * 
 
 « O. yes, sometiiheg. Just let 'em alone afid they^l ^^W ^^^ 
 themselves out of 'cm after aifflMle: But you must^W f^ ' 
 
 » 
 
 ipurself a 'rib/ and''^(«'lU-^, ; ^ 
 
 ing so many questions. ________ 
 
 know by sweet fexperiencelSf^p|4t, as you never can QJilier- 
 wis^ But the clock striJie? t^lye. The Jiext wo hear will 
 
 6 
 
 
 I si 
 
 M 
 
 
 ^>-^:-:,v^vi- 
 
 ■X'-.: 
 
 
 ■■-:::-::.:i:v\i. 
 
 :f;ii:J^j''-'/.:T' 
 

 02 ' Lucv Boston. 
 
 be the dinner-bell. Look out for a choice bit to-day," said he, 
 leaving the room. ~ 
 
 ** Just 80," replied Atnaziah, turning to seek his apart- 
 ment— "but 'tis very quecr^ the difference betweo^tho 
 
 sexes. 
 
 tf 
 
 fc- 
 
 Jr^ 
 
 m 
 
 I 
 
 
 apF 
 
 
 kin 
 
 
 mil 
 
 
 ■ .] 
 
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CHAPTER VI. 
 
 jr^ 
 
 ■A ij 
 ,/■ „ 
 
 »;■ 
 
 «< Oh 1 U there not jj^ 
 
 . * A time, a rlgbteous time, reserved in fato, 
 
 r\^hen these opprcMors pf womanAjndBhall feel 
 
 J' V " The miseries they give JJ* 
 
 DINNER was served with nsual care and passed off agree- 
 ably. To the uninitiated, judging from Mrs. Wilson's 
 appearance, it would have seemed that but one flame cmXd be 
 kindled in the female bosom,, and that not of passion, buf the 
 milder, and more genial flame of affection. . 
 
 Badger b^ing under no special engagement for the afternoon, 
 had ample time for reflection. Two things were evolved in his 
 thoughts and placed to his acquisition of positive ideas. 
 ■ Fii^st, he held it a settled truth tjiat what had been foretold 
 ;Kim, in regard to femde d(g|& would surely come to pass,, 
 for it was a reKeration from tlr^pirit "World. Sp 
 
 ,^* Secondly, he knew precisely what xwman was, having actually 
 seen one ©f the species, an^^hose husband— a real philoso- 
 pher, who spoke from intim1|f , personal knowledge —jha*4old 
 him that they weve in general alike. ** - * :g|. - ,, 
 
 Judging from past observation, he was first at a los s t^ <|tf- 
 prehend how tffl women were to conduct the affai|i|Ptli| 
 
 nation and at the same time ^Ijipifce the duties which. tl|fr<^ 
 
 — — — —. ^^— — ^^ (63pft.- ■'■■M 
 
 m 
 
 w 
 
 
 
 %* 
 

 .»(' 
 
 i-9> 
 
 ■k'' 
 
 M 
 
 
 64 LudjtJ^osTON. 
 
 tofore, in tho order of naburlSWovolved upon them. Ho had 
 seen her — whom he toolda| iKe typo of the sex — refuse and 
 declare most positively and cmphatirtilly that she never would 
 perform them, which stemed for6ver to fix tho fact of their 
 non-peJfpryianee, unless Iho men should assume, or be made to 
 assume, the duties of the domdstio aepartment. But a second 
 consideration made it all plain to his understanding. Tho wo*f 
 men, concludgd he, stri^lfor indepJhdcnce, and stiff-neckedly 
 forswear all home responsibilities only arlhe "fit*' takes them, 
 and when they come into power they will, doftbtlesjL in their 
 wisdom arrange, by legal statute or otherwise, Xhdf^rcoi^e time 
 for having "/^«," and with such nice ac^jtetmo^kj re8p||t to;( 
 age, condition and tcbaperament, that no Wo in a family or at 
 least those dependant upon each other, shall ^JUflto " tantrums'l 
 at the same .tame. . " « ;* , i» ' . ^ Til 
 
 But we will not pursue simple /7to?f/j^fs, since events, igi,?^ 
 epeculattions, are what;|he impartial historian shQTjJ^eco«4f 
 Havinjv a little business in ]^ew York, thovigh not idHpIii^lly , 
 prepging t6 be sure, \et not Jknowing precisely whatTpiberties, 
 if any at all, men WTOld be permitted to enjoy under the new 
 administration so s«on to take the |face of the old, Badger^ 
 >i^l^ncluded to go at once!- 
 
 With overcoat on his arm, und <?arpet-bag in hand, he entei- 
 ed the sitting-rb^ in passing, simply to say good-bye to hi% 
 landlll^, wW5m he found so intently reading a newspaper as 
 not to observe ms entrance. 1^ 
 
 " You seem very much engaged with the news, Mrs. Wilsott," 
 said he J <<what do you find so deeply interesting?" 
 
 on 1 
 
 its I 
 al 
 
 hop 
 in t 
 
 4: 
 
 ,*.'. 
 
 ^jP ..- 
 
 ^■ 
 
 ■f '• -» 
 
 %- 
 
 "Pra^, what does this mean, Mr. Badger, I don't uuderstau'l 
 
 call 
 
 anil 
 
 U'OJ 
 
 twc 
 
 ^«ho 
 
 que 
 
 f fior 
 
 tluE 
 
 of 
 litt 
 no 
 I'v 
 
 ^ 
 
 6* 
 
 
P' F 
 
 
 '^'•. 
 
 '^ 
 
 FoLLisEs uv THE XIXth Ointury. 6b 
 
 tt," said she, handing him tho " city paper," wigi her finger 
 on the following notice : flf 
 
 fc ''Woman's Rioiits.'* 
 This subject is attracting much attention, and has amongst 
 its advoc^tbs some able minds. A n\ecting is to be held at the 
 
 4: 
 
 » 
 
 r 
 
 
 
 t 
 
 I 
 
 p 
 
 ■Mil 
 
 W^ 
 
 "f '• -» 
 
 ^JP ..- 
 
 %. 
 
 IS 
 
 meet 
 ubcrnacio, 0% the 12th inst., when ijrteresting addresses may 
 cjfpccted. Tlis a questfeo worthy of consideration. We 
 hope there maylHllI^ full attendance: The call will be found 
 in another columnJl^ 
 
 ♦♦ J< Sure enough, fmi do(» that mean ? We . will look at the 
 ca!l and see," said Badgcr.^Ht read as follows : 
 
 " The undersigned havingf seen and felt the pitiless oppression 
 
 and tyranny of the men, respectfully solicit that all in favor of 
 
 vcomarCi rujhtSf meet at the Tabernacle, on the 12th inst., at 
 
 twelve o'clock, to take into consideration tho subject, and devise 
 
 ^ittho best means for their relief. A general attendance is re- 
 
 ** ' quested. Good speaking may be expected," to which were 
 
 ' appended the signatures of ifty females. 
 
 " That is too bad," exclaitpcd she in a pitiful tone. "How 
 
 f sorry I am for 'em. Fifty of my sex under the oppression and 
 
 ' tyranny of men there ! Only think of it ! And it don t say 
 
 tluey have done anything neither. I've heard my mother tell 
 
 of just such things when she was a litte girl. How their poor 
 
 V littlo children must feel to sec their mother's used so. I should 
 
 no more dare go to New York than anything in this world. 
 
 I've. always Ifeard it was an awful place. Do you believe any 
 
 ''' tlvin^^ill be done at the meeting, to deliver them?" t- "^ 
 
 BeiFore he had time to respot^, in rushed the wife of< the 
 
 ■■ " • • for oompli- 
 
 villag e editor, in hot ha s te, and' withnut ^^| opp^ng 
 
 Jlfe. 
 
^,*^"^^^ 
 
 ,*, "I 
 
 ''Vt> 
 
 , I 
 
 I 
 
 ■ •■ 
 
 f 
 05 LucylioBTOit. 
 
 mentor courtcsj (tho editorial privilege), in the trao maffef 
 of /act style, dovo at once into the midst of her snbjcct. 
 
 <' Is your ' city paper ' come, Mrs. Wilson ?" said she. " Ourn 
 is on-accountably detained for some cause another, I don't know 
 what, I'm sure, and to-morrow is publication day, and husband 
 has wrote hi» editorial and got tho paper all ready for press, 
 except the 'foreign news' column, which he always tills up 
 from the 'city paper,' and as he was very unexpectedly sum- 
 Dioued away on important profes«ional business, ho solicited 
 roe to assi^me his responsibilities and «so tho scmors, and in- 
 sert any thing important to be conjmunicated to our numerous 
 readers, and I've run over to borrow your paper, if it's come." 
 
 " Yes, we've got it," said Mrs. Wilson, and there is fifty 
 women under tho oppression and tyranny of men in Now jTork . 
 I was just reading it as you came in. Did you ever hear of 
 any thing so awful in all your life ? There it is, you can read 
 it for yourself," added she, banding the paper to the edilreas. 
 
 « That's cruel — it's abominable — it's a great national and 
 public and most bloody, high-handed outrage," cried our heroine 
 of the scissors, as if she bore the destinies of government upon 
 her shoulders! "I should think such things ough n't to bo 
 tolerated in a christian, enlightened land. If you will lend me 
 the paper, Mrs. Wilson, I'll have ours out bright and early in 
 the morning, and scatter the news broad-cast, all over." 
 
 " Yes, you can take it, but be sure and fetch it back as soon 
 as you're through with it, for I want to kce^if," said the 
 lender, and our editress, with a rapid, nervou*s, business-lilcc 
 movement, hastened to the "office," to enter upM her profes- 
 Bional labors. ^ :' . . /.■ .,-.••. - ~ 
 
 /-' 
 
FoLMEH OF TIIK X 1 X T If CKMMjHV. 
 
 07 
 
 .1* 
 
 '« I'm off just in the ' nick of time,' " said Amaziah. " 1 
 tvill attend tho meeting and learn all about it and report when 
 
 I return." 
 
 " Do, for mercy's sdke, keep out of the way and don't get 
 hurt," Huid our landlady, with a tone of anxiety for his saft'ty. 
 PromiHinghor that he would be careful, they exchanged " good- 
 hye," and parted. "^ r / — ^, — ^ -- 
 
 Next morning tho village paper was out in advance, and 
 heralding in glaring capitals, the following : 
 
 STAim.INO INTKLUGKMCK!!! 
 
 FIFTY WOMEN IN NEW YORK, UNDKH THE OPPRESSION AND 
 TYRANNY OF MEN !! T 
 
 ^ TREMENDOUS EXCITEMENT!!! 
 
 ,V J^nrge meeting mlkd af the Tahernacle U I 
 
 i We go to press in advance of our usual hour to give our ex- 
 
 tensive readers the very latest news as early as possible, which 
 
 must fall like a mighty thunder-clap upon tjj^ublic car, and 
 
 shake the nerves of. the " body politiq<>|(rt^ most frightful 
 
 convulsions I! For which we arc indeb«d\oi%," city paper.'' 
 
 We should certainly have issued an Extra forthwith, but 
 
 • for this being our regular publication day. Before tho excitc- 
 
 ipent is extinguished, we earnestly caution all females against 
 
 going to New York. W| trust wb shall be able to lay before 
 
 our readers, the full particulars of this bloody treason, in ou|: 
 
 next. \. 
 
 The village was electrified. Crowds thronged the printing 
 
 office, scrambling for the paper. 
 
 Three or four tinies the usual quantity had been struck off, 
 
 ^ — and yet the demand was increasing . Fn the stores, and shops, 
 
 V . ■" .r 
 
„:f^■'^< -^ 
 
 •- -I 
 
 'A 
 
 ^■■i>s- 
 
 
 * i. 
 
 i 
 
 4 '>*, 
 
 . *■■/. \ 
 
 >'•.'* 
 
 ■y 
 
 ^>... 
 
 ,4^ 
 
 68"" LuoY B«sT./6N. 
 
 vaiwd houses, on the corners, and in/tlui tavern wore seen knots, 
 • ;i(large and smdl, of men, women abd children, clustering around 
 -; the different readers of the KJtiomil BaUotin. Rumor was 
 ^afloat; the '.mpiilse extended /the surrounding regipn caught' 
 'HhQ mania.' Before sunsci, u^der the auspices of female loader- ' 
 
 '■4, ' '' ' 
 
 'ship, the subscription list of the "Bulletin'" was almost 
 ' doubled. It was,, pronoiinced by far .the most intererfting 
 "publication" iu the country. The editor wasat once liiarked 
 as a groicing man, and destined to run u distinguished carper. 
 And solt is, at least too often — the icifc plucks the laurels ^^^ 
 the hushaml wcdrs them. ,But wait. Time will dcpide whose 
 brow was made for the crQ,wu,%hose hand for the scepter. 
 But to return to the journey. In keeping with the usual 
 , predilection of old- bacheloBs, Badger located himself x)^ a m- 
 ■cant seat in the railroad car. Presently a gentleman in appear- 
 anco, of fin(i and easy address, in search M a seat, enquired if 
 ,, the balan)je of tlie one he occupied was engaged : 'T*is not, 
 replied Badger, and they were seated together. 
 •; "Seasons," " Tetrabune," *' Screamer," "Evening Pole/'* 
 " Latest News," " Arrival of the Air Ship," "Revolution in 
 the/iMoon," cried the n6w5' boys passing through the train. 
 His seat-con^anion, purchasing i«\'< Screamer," Amaziah ex- 
 pected every moment to hear hiffll^ive vent to his indignation 
 at the outrage perpetrated on those fifty women; But -having 
 peitus?<i it with nd expression 'betokening any thing of unu^ 
 sual interest, it was jolitely offered to Badger. :, 
 
 .. "Thank you," eaid he, taking the paper, at the samei time 
 '.-■' ■-." ■'^; ■■' .' -■■': .^'. ■■"'.' ■''■ ' "^' :/ ' ' 
 
 • "kie BUcCpggorB of the New tnrlc tim^, Trihiirw, Vtrald, and Bvtning 7^ .. 
 
 '■'-.. - ■ ■ ' "''"* 
 
 • - " ^ .,■.■.■.•"- ^ ■,• 
 
 ->% 
 
 { 
 
 ./-I 
 
 '^. 
 
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 ,1- 
 
 *v.,. 
 
 ■*• 
 
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 \ • 
 
 
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 C.'. 
 
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 ^rf^- 
 
 t Follies ow. the XIXtji CentJury. 69' 
 
 . inqtiiriftgif there was tmy account of what ha^ been done with 
 , those fifty women in NeJw York. . - ". '' . 
 
 " Wtiftt fifty woracn, sir ? I do not recollect to have heard 
 any tl)(ing ajjout it." ' - . 
 
 " There is a notice of it in tho 'city paper;' I saw it last 
 night," saicHJadger. * . * ' ", 
 
 " Wha4-1^as Che liotico, sirr^* , ' V 
 
 *< 1 can't give the particulars, but it told how th' ' were'op- 
 pr<jsscd by a ganjr of men, and there is to be a meeting at the 
 Taberni^clo^ on the 12th, to see if sonieUiing ca^'t be done for 
 ♦•hem/' "^. .\ ; ^. . _ ^ , ^ Vv, ;• 
 
 <' Oi^you niisappreh'cbd tho thing entirely, sir. - That is a 
 call for,A '^dtoman's Ilight^s Conventio^i.'. I am one of the 
 persons, wll8b signatures appear there.'' % * 
 
 ^* You ?" , I thought they were all females who signed it.* 
 "And you thought right," said s/te, |(artly- rising from the 
 scat, ,'f You will observe, sir, that I am in tloomer postura6 
 -r-rall^pr the extreme of tite style too, IJ admit, but that is a 
 mere matter of ^;is/e you know. I arti now on my wfaytothat 
 convention.'* _ , ^ ' 
 
 A shriek of^lhe' " whiistlep' and slackening af the train, indi- 
 eated their arrival at a stopping place, when a jovial liking 
 fellow, directly in front of their seat, turned around and with 
 his clutched hand -extended towards her, cxclaimeii, "Odder 
 eyeti f<i^4te ^cots^ sir ! We always take something at this 
 
 
 ■<¥ 
 
 &m 
 
 •^ .; 
 
 « 
 
 \|^;Excuse in^ if you please, sir, Jirnever d^' such Uaings," 
 #(A the^cplf^" 
 
 ': . .'".-Cars stbp fen mmitfes. ffir rofreshmchts," 
 
 was the an- 
 
 ^^ 
 
 »*- 
 
 ! 
 
 i^ 
 
:. :«. 
 
 70 
 
 LuQY Boston. 
 
 T- » 
 
 s> 
 
 nounceiueiit as lisual, as tlio wheels ceased to move. Badger 
 and Ifis new acquaintance remained in their stats. There was 
 the customary " getting off" and "coming on," v/haji there 
 ' came along, among others, a well-dressed young man, and in 
 a jolly, familiar way, accosted oup bloomer friend with — • 
 
 "How are yo%Bill?" You: hav'nt allied much since I 
 
 saw you last. Get a good game up at the ra«es? . 
 
 • : **You are mistaken in the person, sir. Omr sex (fo "not 
 
 frequent race-courses nor fallow gambling," and quietly taking 
 
 off her hat, exhibited her feminine tresses ingeniously sJiOft- 
 
 cncd, at which the young mSn- recoiled, and with evident con- 
 
 . fusion, sayinff, " It is a mistake;, b^g youj^^rdon, madam,'' 
 
 and i|)assed a|,Qng. Our bloomer delegate became the "bb- 
 
 ■ scrvcu of all.©bscrvcrs," and the subject of various remarks, 
 
 some grave and others sportive; in short, such as the reader 
 
 can very well imagine." - 
 
 "All aboard," shouted the conductor, and the iron horse 
 sprang forward, as if refreshed by his JSjrQ^thing" spell, and 
 whirled them away at fearf'ul |!|)eed. . < 
 
 "How impudent these men are," said Miss Boston (for 
 such was the name of our bloomer). "However, the.tiffte is 
 not far distant when such indignities as I have received in 
 these tew milQs' travel cannot be perpetrated with impunity. 
 "When ice come into power, we shall have civility enough to 
 permit the men to pass unmolested by impertinence a^d in- 
 sult. That day, thank Heaven, is near. Smile ,not, nor call 
 'mo visionary. I am as confident in that belief as if it 1ia4 
 heen revealed from the snirit u'orhl." r" 
 
 " Confident of what, ma'am ?" said Badger.' . V 
 
 -■•':, : 
 
 
 
 #■5 
 
 & ■ 
 
 C 
 
 .■• '>'S' 
 
 -^- 1 — :- 
 
 ***!! ' 
 

 :j. 
 
 ' K • 
 
 c 
 
 Follies of tub XIXth' Century. 71 
 
 <' That ere thy rcmaihlng sands arc run, man sliall b^ cast 
 down to iiis proper'^ level, and x^omaif elevated to her native 
 position of superiority.'* * - 
 
 " If ave yoit seen her, too ?" interrupted. Badger. 
 "S^n who, sir?" , - 
 
 "I don't kn6w who slie wasL but &hfi was the handsoinest 
 creature I -ever saw. Down to her waist she was just like a 
 .woman, and that' s^l I know, only as she was going out and 
 'lifting up. her skirfs, as tl'C ladies do when tlicy walk you 
 know, in the place of her feet, I thought I saw ajish's taij. - 
 ■*' I had suppo;se<l, sir, I was in the company of a gen(lt"ma*L ' 
 ,>.25ut; allow nie to inlurm 3-0(1 — and*Eeed well my words — iBbm 
 »^hall you behold the glorious spectacle ol a wWd undcrii^ 
 sway of woman, not only public opinion shaped and society re- 
 inodele^ at her hand, but the church reformed under the fcM^l 
 <)fI^yBoc(U€nce, and the state ruled by: her powQr art4' guided , 
 by l](|r- wisdom — auspicious period when^ my^4S|!C |J$j|;ll be ia 
 the full enjoyment of their lEalienable right^*"'^^ -^ . % ^ 
 " Precisely her ^i^guage to lae on, tiha't awful Jightj*'«'3i6- 
 
 .^laimyed Badger. . '. y 
 
 » . ' - . ■ ■ „ ■ ■ ■ ._ '• 
 
 3Iis3 B — -?!, looked at him in speechless astonishment. 
 " It's a fact,* nia'am, just as I tell you," persisted he. 
 . " liour wit, sir,^oes not rival your ill breeding, to coufjet 
 ?n3 /by comj«irison with & inetmaidj th^t monster of ai? arfimal 
 at best, and whose existence even is altogether problematical: 
 But, fjr, load' us Ispth satire and abus&i«i^ you will, we are dcsr 
 .tined to go on ficonqviering and to conquer,* until y<^u an^l all 
 your kiad shall .behold wotnan in the legislative h^ll, on the 
 ■judicial ben<ih' Aijd in the tented field. : The days of^mr' 
 
 ■^ 
 
 /^ 
 
 
 'P^ 
 
 _:u:,..- 
 
 ^-^V' 
 
 
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 •■^ 
 
 „>/ 
 
 ■1>ll 
 
 sstriK-' 
 
 ■■Ur--^''' • ' "■. 
 
 
 
•41^ 
 
 :. i ' 
 
 ^ 
 
 72 
 
 JifUCY Boston. 
 
 glory will be as ifpian- never was, so completely will he be 
 eclipsed in all. his boasted strength and achievena^ts. And 
 more, sir, I could tell that will shortly transpire, and which 
 'would make your ears tingle, but 'tis a waste o/breath. You 
 Would tenaciously eling to your unbelief, even/if it were reveal- 
 6d to yom from the world of spirits — yes,^ou would not be- 
 lieve even though such an animal as a/ /mermaid, or if her 
 ^rM Um\{ should appear to you in the/watches of the night. 
 0VLt why waste useless words and msJlo myself the object pf 
 ndicuTe 7 J wiff s^t ssome more retired seat where, if pos*^bl9, 
 J «^all be free from these assauh^ of impertinence," saying 
 which, she rose to depart. 
 
 '^ 8ir/p, stop," entreated Bad^ev. " Everything you've spoke, 
 I believe trf/m the bottom or my heart. The spirifc of a mer 
 mai^ did tell nac, und in vour very words too." ,, V 
 
 ^ff understand you pmcdlff^ sir^" was her reply, made with 
 ivi air and emphasis n«4 to be #iisunderstood, as she abruptly 
 /letirel to another sGdt. Il^8l Boston was not only incredulous 
 ii i<::i ^% ^^^fyiex qA revdf/itimfhyxX treated it with the utmost 
 
 jftmaziah c(rtfld a ^^IM Xitd<Mf but she disdained to listen. 
 \ He regard^ J|if, however, with chariiable feelings, conclud- 
 ftjg that she mu$t be ^aili«?ig ioto a ''^." \ . ^ ^ - , 
 
 Timeind spate flew J^y. TJie .Muds^^ i*M iis glorious! 
 scener/ of cottd^fe and vija, .of park and lawn, highlands and 
 paWdes, re<?<5ded like a iMfriffty-gJiding diorama. 
 
 The metropoliig" rose to view as if hf »iagic. Eager eyes 
 looked out pn spire and dome. A rush — a» shriek— ^ and Iho' 
 
 '0y 
 
 «.*t\ i' 
 
 „ '■:'"■■' ti 
 
 
 ^, 
 
 .> * 
 
 M- ".: 
 
 V " 
 
 iiiL 
 
^:^l 
 
 ij" * 
 
 . Follies of tii£ XIXth CeTstur*v. 73 
 
 ihkin landed its human fi-eighfc at the depot, amid the accud> 
 tomed crowd of "runners/^ policemen, jjj'r/^-poc^e/*, &c. 
 
 "That's him/' whispcred-an officer to his comrade, as our 
 Vloomer issued upon the platform — "we're good for her," 
 and grasping* her by the, collar, exclaimed — "accept of our 
 hofpitality, madam. ' We'll give you entertainment cheap to- 
 
 " Why do you insult a female ' in this 'manner, sirrah ? 
 Watch ! watch I" ericd she. «■ , 'I 
 
 " We're the Si'SiteB, and at'youirTcrYice too,^^ aEswered the" 
 officers 'oxultingly. \ v 
 
 ,^ ^'Ilold on a minute'," said the captor — "let's examine the 
 J docunipntsj^s^nd drawing from his pocket a telegraphic .dis- 
 ipatch, read as ibllows:- *^ 1 ' 
 
 " Arrest a female in man's clothing ^ — on the cars — tall -^ 
 wcll-proportionfcd — fine-locking — c^yies and hair black." '" . 
 
 *' All righ^' saPkhc, as deaf to her expostulations, and fol- 
 lowedTryVrabble, thcyShurried her off to the tombs — a catas- 
 troprhd.^s uncpmfortable as it was unexpecte4*^ making /i/t^ 
 jme womea under the oppressilpn and tyr^nnV of men. 
 
V.:'- 
 
 
 L 
 
 t 
 
 ..k 
 
 X 
 
 <A. ;. ' 6IIAPTER VII. 
 
 I, u ' n " More is meant than meets tlie eye." 
 
 tiffi long-anticipated day ariived which was to be the 
 
 , initiati\^ c^f our country's true glory and greatness. Al- 
 
 • ' • Uiough«*iot uslie5ccl4n with tumultuous demonstrations, yet it 
 
 • marked an erajji our national ojcistenco. In shorty it was the 
 
 '■ day for^tho " woman's rights" convention. The hour for the 
 
 , ■ assembling of congregated wisdom, philanthropy, and injured 
 
 innocence, was at that precise moment when the sun was 
 
 highest, and shone the hottest. ^ 
 
 Among the notable arrivals on tlieever-iftjpmfi^able occasion, 
 
 none created a greater sensation^ than our blo(|gQer delegate, 
 
 whom we left in the hands of the police, w^lvthe unpleasant 
 
 ; r prospect of her remainiitg ia duranmvile. In vain did she 
 
 ,"t. "r protest ^heriqnoccncc J In vain did she dfijjir resistance and 
 
 :^ ' ;^, ,impUn-e tlje^ 1 of the-ptissfeg 6pectlit§rs, proclaiming ; 
 
 ^, ;, her najn^q' aEd-Tcsi%ncQ, :and ^c'Jiad coijiie by Jpcci^ 
 
 ; ^cj^VJi^dli-W a^ ^tho :great "n^batlilS; jrf^i^S cooverttiohl' 
 
 XJ;^ No one tf^ 
 
 . . ' omctf yi4h^jibuiid|itfec or their zeal foi' the pti^lic safety, wer©- 
 ', ^ ',. in©x^rablo,.^iio| abatiiig t^watls t1|eir-^^^^ a degree ttC. ih&Orv' 
 
 ■":'' '^ • 'a ;'i&niG^itt»^, J^Mi^^ , 'iW J til ^rhn. ■ sa|isfatt|o5^ .' tte?,:^r|i-; ;' 
 
 key t 
 her 
 
 'I^'.. 
 
 
 « 'y\; >\: 
 
 "T^ 
 
 « 
 
 pect< 
 
 ,■ * 
 
 
 augu 
 
 
 
 merv 
 
 *' ■„"" 
 
 
 ■■.i'^^l ■'>*^ 
 
 ". '-■" ■• 
 
 ■L" fV"., 
 
 ^-"'i jtupft 
 
 -*'^ ^^'^ ■ 
 
 i - « , 
 
 v-r'^Hlv 
 
 ;, " <<v ■ 
 
 
 ■■"C,:Ttbel^ 
 
 ■„^ -ft,: . 
 
 
 ; ;; "; '^^to^j^^ 
 
 K V^'> ■■•^ 
 
 
 .'.■"' l."-'*pp«' 
 
 ;■: ■■ : ■>->> : 
 
 ■V-. « 
 
 H» "ate-,*'*;!, lf'r.*J 
 
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 JSf', "^f >'.■"'.:■'?"- 
 
 •Ay».'ii<ii<* 
 
 K 
 
 
 4" V 
 
 •,?>^) 
 
yk 
 
 
 \ 
 
 Follies op the XIXtii Centurv." 75 
 
 key thraw back the bars and bolts. Harshly grated tho mas- 
 =<give door on its 'iron hinges, to close upon the unoffending 
 ^ctim, when she speedily drew from her pocket (wondering at 
 her thoughtlessness) sundry letters and credentials, which 
 proving satisfactory to the incorruptible officials, our unlucky 
 heroine was with reluctance discharged. 
 
 Counting herself fortunate, in^hcr narrow escape from the 
 "due process of law," yet chagrined at the indignity put upon 
 Iter, she hastily exchanged the tombs for the oU^Astor. '_ ,„ 
 
 The doors. of the old Tabernacle gaped wide, as if eager to 
 ' swallow the waiting throng. Vortex-like, the vast amphi- 
 theater absorbed the inrushing thousands, while the wedging 
 multitudes," like a flood dammed up, choked the avenues, and 
 the " cry was, still they come." 
 
 Promiscuously packed, almost to suffocation, the conventioil 
 began to take on an organized form in the appointmenit^f Mrs. 
 Jane Truclove, president, by acclamation. She took iU chair, 
 amid great applause. Scarcely waiting for the outburst to sub- 
 side, the distinguished chairwoman arose and said : — 
 
 " Most potential and injured" fellow-women ! called very unex- 
 pectedly to preside over the deliberations and doings of this most 
 august assemblage, I arise to present my humble acknowledg- 
 ment for the very distinguished honor ** - 
 
 ' J^l call the president to order,"* interrupted Miss Cloe All- 
 
 ♦ N, B. L<58t it tMs thought that some of the actors are represented as incredihly 
 
 . ' jtupIO. itifl Bufficiont Mimply to remark that the rushing tide of revolution swept along 
 
 '' Willi it'tbe Jfcmale populace, wHoso ignorance ©f public business was equaled only by 
 
 ^ tbelr^amlatioo f©r notoriety. Of this the men took most cruel advantage, professing 
 
 lo give them PTop6t" l^trucf ion, when in truth their onl| object was ^ tgak© tjicm 
 
 Bppaul ridiculdfts. ' , i "'^*t 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 «^ 
 
76 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 tongue, popping up about midway of the room. " Tho presi. 
 dent is out of order; I call for the najs and ayes on the ques- 
 tion," continued she, in a sharp, nervous tone. 
 
 "I object to tho ayes and^ nays," said 3Iiss Snappish, " and 
 contend, according to strict parliamentary rules, that tho presi- 
 dent is 7io< out of order." ' - 
 
 "I didn't come all the way here," retorted Miss All-tongue, — 
 " No, Mrs. President, I didn't come clear here, to hear ladies on 
 this floor talk ahont parlour-mcniary rules; I comeife the indi- 
 cator and rrjn'cseutation of * woman's rights,' to agitate tJiis 
 great constitutional question, and hunt for means and measures 
 by whose contrivance tho proud and haughty, and — and — 
 good-for-nothing- tyrant man, shal]— hem! — by which, proud 
 and haughty man shall — -shall— — " here the speaker with 
 muscles strained and veins swollen, laboring under the burden 
 of her mighty theme, became speechless, her emotions being 
 ;too intense and her thoughts too big for utterance. 
 . Miss Doicd. " If the lady from the West h« ended her 
 speech, I wish to be heard on this, xiuestion ; and if she has 
 
 ▼ Chloe. " I never Intended to give up the floor, Mrs. Presi- 
 dent ; I intend to stick for my rights with the women as well 
 as the men. Yes, Mrs. President, I'll spill the last drop of 
 blood in my veins, and drop right down in iny tracks, before 
 I'll flinch one hair's-breadth from my unalienable rights." 
 Miss All-tongue delivered herself, in this burst of patriotism, 
 with great force, and sank exhausted into her scat. 
 
 Miss Garulous. "Mrs. President, I- wish to introduce a 
 
 \^'e. 
 
 ^, ^ _ ... ■ 
 
 ' \ '■' .'■ 
 
 catalogue of resolutions to be passed on by this meeting,, and I 
 
 ■ . f- 
 
 
 .. ;*r.- ■> ■- . ■„■■ I .-.■•• • . - 
 
 
 . ' m-'^M'i--^^^^^^ '..; , '^ -■'--■^ -' 
 
 
Follies ov the XlXtii Century 
 
 77 
 
 
 \ri\\ further state, also, that I wish.to ho heard on them hefoJre 
 they arc finally adopted." 
 
 3fnf. Winkle said, " Mrs. P/esident, I think It is my .turn now 
 to deliver my sentiments on this important occasion. I dis- 
 cover a great quantity of men here, and they are all the while 
 winking, and chuckling, and laughing, I " 
 
 All-tongue. " I call the lady to prder, and command the 
 'j)i'.cv ions question.'" ^ ^ •;. _ : iv 
 
 Winkle. " I claim my title to th^ floor, and hope 1 s.han't 
 be broke in on again. I- move we progress to organize. I' 
 move a division of the house, that toe occupy one side and order 
 the men to take the other side by themselves. I move that 
 all the men who are friendly and. stand straight up for us, be. 
 entitled to set in front on their own side." ' ' 
 
 CJiloe. " I second the motion, Mrs. President, with all my , 
 heart, and move that we all vote on it unanimously." . 
 
 ; Reverend Mr. M , D. D , calmly arose at this point, or '<* 
 
 rather in the midst of this confusion confounded, and with every , 
 eye -turned upon him, without interruption, deliberateb^re- ^^ 
 marked : " I hope, Mrs. President, I may' be pardoned for saying ' ^. 
 a word. My heart and my hand are with you in the enterprise 
 • in whioh you are engaged. I mo&t earnestly desire your success. 
 This convention, in order to exert its proper influence, sh 
 conducted with regularity. It strikes me that you had 
 perfect the organization of your meetifng/ This being doft^^ 
 and the customary address of the president given, the con^n^^ 
 Hon would then be open and prepared for, the 'transaction af4; 
 busings. Otherwise, yi^ems to me you will necessarily be in 
 . ■- - -'- »-•>,."-'* — ■ — -- 
 
 
w 
 
 *:v. 
 
 f 
 
 i i> 
 
 ^F' 
 
 om alt quarters of the 
 
 ice be amendiQd by add- 
 ,ko one side of the house 
 
 78 L u c y B o « T o N . 
 
 confusion. However, I simply offer you my advice^ and leave 
 it fnr your consideration." 
 
 Chloe. " I move that^the reverend gentleman's instructionH , 
 be ad<;>jpted, and wo proceed to business without delay." 
 
 Mm Pnuh'ijrmx. " I second t!ie motion, and call the ques- 
 tion.", 
 
 Cry of "question," ^question 
 house. 
 
 Mi's^. Winkle. "I ni()v<j^th 
 ing the clause, ' and that wc wonie 
 and order the mcii to take the other.'" 
 
 Reverend Dr. M , risinfj.ap;aiffr8aid, '< Mrs. President, I 
 
 did not come here for the pitrpof«c of taking part in the proceed- 
 ings of this meeting, hut simply as a spectator. Perceiving that , 
 1 iim niii-apprclu'nded in my previous remarks, T ri^ merely to 
 niiike nry.sclf umlcrstood. AVhat I meant to convoy )s this — 
 tliat the nrxt thing in order is the appointment of Vi(o-pn',«i- 
 donts and Secretaries, Jbefore any motion can properly be. 
 ciiiertniiji (J. 
 
 Fiiiallv,the Doctrtr, as it were, involuntarily and by the tacit 
 
 / .» 
 
 O'liS' lit (if the house, assumed the charge of thc' business, and 
 f-' ' • ' 
 
 niMi f lie. fniivention assumed form and >h:ipe. The^prcsulei.t 
 
 (MMK lud( d her speech, and anmmnced th.it the convention uas 
 
 rca iy fur business. , 
 
 Friend IJ.itlger, although he had nevci- attended many public 
 
 me. tinjis, could not fail to dii-covcr the e.'ccroiso and rc.-nlt of 
 
 sup'-iior knowledge, in tiie read iiu-ss and case with which tlic - 
 
 reverend Doctor brou-ht o/diT^out of confusion and ^<-'t all 
 
 
■'¥■ 
 
 1^' 
 
 
 FoLhiKs OF Tin: XI XT 11 Okntuuv. 
 
 things rlgUt. In the simplicity of ign(*rauce uuil his Bunguino 
 expectations, he looked for the adoption of groat and dcciaivo 
 nieasurcH, at once, and fancied the women would bb enthroned 
 in power before night. 
 
 Profound silence ensued. It became painful. Kvcry tllng 
 was at a dead stand-still, while froip the female side all eyes 
 were turned towards Dr. M — -, a.s if waiting for another de- 
 monstration from him. At length, to relieve the awkward and 
 embarrassing suspense, he arose and said: 
 
 <I suppose the lady's motion, that the sexes be separated, 
 would now be in order, if she choose to make it." . 
 
 Mrs. WiuK'h'. <' I choose to make tho molion, Mrs. Piftsi- 
 ^dent, and I move tliat it passes too, without a dissenting voice." 
 ^ The President. <' I put the question." 
 " Aye," said tho convention. ' • 
 
 Though the result of tho vote was not announced by the 
 Chair, there could be no doubt how it stood, and instantly all 
 was tumult, each person, whether male or female, pushing witb- 
 all speed for the other side of the house. The resolution was 
 evidently incomplete, in not designating v;hieh side should bo 
 occupied by xcldch. " Ladies will please take ^u'.s side," cried 
 a fenwile voice from the right. '' Ladies, take this side," cried 
 auotka- from the left. " Gentlemen, this way," echoed from 
 both sides — and instantly there was a universal cry of " this 
 siJ\e," "f/tAs side;' ^'fhis side, I say," indicating pretty nearly 
 an equ:iliiy of luiiji;s, if not of numbers, in the opposite quarters, 
 and congtetinir a <irvau\ ]}Oic-irow oi confusion and fun. 
 
 At length, after a short interview between the Reverend 
 Doctor and the profidont, she arose, and to the top of her voice 
 
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 AaaoeUrtien for Infomurtieii amiiliiMos MiiM9«m«nt 
 
 1100 Wayne Avenue. Suite 1100 
 Silver Spring, Maryland 20910 
 
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 Luc-Y Boston. 
 
 cried "order — ortW — order," whUh, however, only served 
 to increase the " uproar." Redoubling her.exertions ishe stamped; 
 flourished her fist, pounded the table, and screamcid " order — 
 order — or<k'i — ^^ order," till quite exhausted, but it wa^ like 
 speaking to the tempest. The moderator was not only immod- 
 erately excited, but her " dander " was evidently up, for her 
 eyes glanced rapidly from corner to corner, with threatening 
 aspect, jmt as if she was looking for a broomstick, that last 
 resort of the feminine amazons when their naturally pacific 
 natures are roused and goaded to the pitch of pugnacity. 
 Things looked portentous. The male spectators expected every 
 moment to see the "/»r ff;/."- Our bachelor, calling to mind 
 his landlady's ifljunction, to " keep out of the way and ^lot get 
 hurt," began to cast about for a place of retreat, assured that 
 they had all, together, fallen into the "fits/^ fvad tj^inking 
 w}iat a grand spot it was for a pedlar of pills to make pis„ for- 
 tune. Observing a favorable opportunity, Amaziah sou^t to en- 
 sconce himself, and ducking behind the desk^awaited tl^e subsid- 
 ing of the storm. Such a scene ! If ouUbedlamed bedlam. 
 
 Dr. M 
 
 
 — could endure it no longer. Striking his cane 
 upon the table, he shouted " orr/ej'," with a stentorian voice, 
 and every thing was quiet. All dropped aFonce into their 
 seats again, as promiscuous as ever. 
 
 "I can see no occasion for this intemperate excitement," 
 saidjhe Doctor. "The meeting will bo ridiculed enough, if con^ 
 ducted with decorum, and I feel bound to say in all kindness, 
 that if bettpr order is not preserved, it will, -merit ridicule. 
 Now I suggest the propriety," continued he, " of some lady 
 making the motion, designating which side of the house the 
 
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V 
 
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 Follies OF THE X^Xth Century. 81 
 
 gentlemen shall occupy, and let the matter be disposed of in. 
 the usual manner. After the motion is madCf then debate y 
 upon it will be. in order; after which, all will" vote unde^, 
 standingly. It is evidently a question, in regard to which 
 there is a great diversity of opinion, and very much /eel- 
 a»/7, though ^what imaginable ijnpdrtanco attaches to the 
 subject, I confess myself unable to discover. This disagree- 
 ment exists exclusively among yourselves. I venture to say, 
 judging from their appearance, t|iat the gentlemen have rio 
 other feeling than iudiflference in this matter, and will cheer- 
 fully take either side, if the ladies will only harmonize with 
 each other. Now let some one move that the men pass to the 
 iej}, for instance j then, after a few expressions of opinion, we 
 may hope that all will acquiesce in the vote, when finally an- 
 nounced." . " ■ )^^: . ," • -/■■ 
 
 Chloe All-tovf/iic. " I move, "Prsi Prcsidenl, that the men 
 take the If/t side, there's just where they belong, they've had 
 the ritjkt hand si<lc long enough, it's our turn now, and we'll 
 have it too." (Great applause.) 
 
 Mrs. 6^o^(?c?i— a large, athletic woman, with commanding 
 voice — arose and saii, " Mrs. President, as we are manifestly on 
 the eve of .becoming mistresses of the universe, I deem this one 
 of the gravest questions that can possibly arise before this body. 
 It is a question pregnant with a magnitude of Interest, and 
 which will be a fruitful source of weal or wo to our children 
 and our children's children, down to the remotest ages <Jf pos- 
 terity. Mrs. President, I should not feel myself justified in 
 --.jieturniiig to my constituents without having said thus iuuch 
 
 on the subject." 
 
 F 
 
82 
 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 Mis9\Td(lman,qmto the oppositejBf the last speaker jn siac 
 and voice, adarcsscd the convention as follows: " I fully concur, 
 Mrs. President, in the rcinarks of the. lady last up. (Cheers.) 
 I hope they will be unanimously adopted." (Repeated cheers.) 
 
 Miss Wiggins. " Mrs. President, lioel myself in some re- 
 , spects, though with great reluctance, compelled to diflFer some- 
 what from (ie delegates who have so eloquently addressed the 
 convention. (Applause.) The subject is truly -one of incon- 
 ceivable magnitude (hear, hear) ; but I have heard no arguments 
 yet, satisfactory to my mind. I contend that this is by no 
 means the proper place for the di^ssion and adoption of this 
 subject. I hold that-rt belon^|JB|thc legitimate sphere of 
 legislative enactments." (Majilest sensation in different parts 
 of the house.) : V^ 
 
 Mvs. Tyson. " 3Ij5?. President, I rise with groat delicacy, 
 being unwilling to express an opinion on this very important 
 subject without more consideration. It is, Mrs. President,, a 
 question most -seriously affecting us all. I challenge any body 
 that dai^s to- deny it. (Applause.) It pervades through .the 
 social, political, and moral circle. It extends around the fire- 
 place. — yea, 'tell it not in Gath,' it reaches to the bed-side, 
 in the silent -watches of the niglit, Mrs. President. (Thtindcr- 
 ing applause.) Nor does it terminate there. I£ spreads out 
 over tihe whole wide world into the ' sjlheres 1* (Prolonged 
 and deafening applause.) Have ladies, let me ask, have ladies on 
 this floor carefully thought on this question ? Be they prepared 
 to barter away their rights ? Be they prepared to pass resolu- 
 tions to keep us fettered and fastened in everlasting 'slavery ? 
 (" No/* <* no," " no," from all parts of the house, and immensG 
 
 .-•?,--. 
 
"f- 
 
 ■■*,. 
 
 FoLLrEs OP TUB XIXth Century. 83 
 
 cljccry.) Then lot us tlu^;as our forefathers di J, and doclaro 
 our richts as citizens — aHfrce-j/pwic/i— not only for ourselves, 
 but as has been so cldqucntl^r remarked on thj.s floor, " for our 
 ehildreu^.and gur cliiUlrcn's children, to the latest generation of 
 coming time." (Tremendous cheers.) 
 
 Chloi' All'toityuo. "Mrs. Presidvnt, I shall N-ote for every 
 single word that has fallen from the last lady. (Cheers.) 15ut 
 . I nu).st strcnuou.^ly in.^ist on the men taking the other^side bo- 
 Tore wc vote on any thing at all; and if thiy had any mannira 
 uboir^them, they'd go without our putting them there (loud 
 burst.s of :;i>i)lau.se ; hear, he;u); yes, that indeed th.-y would, 
 or leave — or leave — yes, I repeat it, or leave the house 
 .(Immense, iGpcatcd, and Tong-eontinue4 cheering). Mrs. Presi- 
 dent, I rise to \i jipU of oi-der, and that is, that the men takc^ 
 the other side bcTorc wc proceed to bui-iness." '(Ucpeatcd 
 
 cheers.) ' -" 
 
 /;,.. M — — . <'Mrs. President, allow mc to say that Miss ^ 
 jjill-tongue labors under a total misapprehensioi^ of things.- 
 Thc only (fucstion now before you is, to obtain ar cxj^fc^n 
 of the house, as to which side the ladies and gentlcnveiMall 
 respectively occupy in this convention, a matter, it seems .to 
 me, of not the slightest moment whatever. I hope I shall 
 give no ofTcnse when I remark, that were this 'a male cotven- 
 tion, we would never think of raising this question of sepa- 
 rating tlie sexes, but would grant the ladies, who might honer 
 us with their presence, their otm choice of sitting where they 
 pleased, and if you will allow me the freedom of speech, with 
 all due deference, I must say it would appear much more 
 magnanimous on- the part of the ladies, if they would adopt 
 
 «- 
 
 •^^ 
 
 
 "4 
 
 :4- 
 
 
84 
 
 Lucy IJost.on 
 
 ;?. 
 
 •^ 
 
 T' 
 
 I 
 
 the principle of reciprocity and give us the same piivilc<re of 
 choosing our own seats, so long as we do not *jil in the ic<i>/, or 
 bceonio nicddlesonie. However, you have been pleased to re- 
 solvd that the house shall bCrSexually divided. Now, why not 
 let the gcntlem'en malcc thefr own choice ? For my own part, 
 I have no very particular preference on which hand I am put; 
 still, if the ladies are" tenaeious on this point, to demand the 
 vote, and it prevuiltji, rest assured (and I know I speak the 
 feelings of every gentleman present) we will most ehccrfully 
 comply, for accordiilig to the old saying, "the left side riearest 
 the heart," which, jn all the world;— nor do I blush to say it 
 — is the locality mi*t eoveted and sougH, after by 7»r/n-kind. 
 So if we are expelled from the colder region of the rirjht, wo 
 shall only be instated in a wanner birth, a thing by no means 
 disagrei}ablc to us, exposed'^ as we are to the chilling hhists and 
 pelting sleet of our northern Lititudc." - 
 
 Tlie Doctor resumed his scat with becoming gi-avity ; yet, one 
 might have disjcpvored a lurking irony in the corner of hiseye, 
 and there was manifestly a subtle sting in the tail of his speech. 
 The motion was triumphantly carried, and the gentlemen moved 
 to the h'ft. Our blo(nner friend remaining upon tiie riyht, there 
 were cries of '* put him out," at first,.but an explanation of who 
 she was, brought down the house. 
 
 The afternoon was by this time nearly spent, and after one 
 or two short speeches the convention adjourned till seven 
 o'clock, P. yL. ^ ^ 
 
 At this juncture, as fate or the spirits would have it, Ama- 
 ziah was discovered in his hiding place. The alarm was in- 
 stantly given, when the more pugnacious, led on by the re- 
 
 m^ 
 
one 
 
 y 
 
 P O L L I E B O F THE X I X T If C E N T U R Y 
 
 85 
 
 doubtable Chloc, pounccd'-upon the luckless "dodger," and with 
 ho very gentle demonstration drew him forth, j " 
 
 " Spy," exclaimed One. 
 
 " Kowdy, assassin, rascal," cried bthcrs^ " 
 
 The crowd and tumuk on the platform was fast increasing 
 into a rntVy and it is hard ^o say wha^ would have become of 
 poor Badger, had not the Reverend Dr. M it- — come timely to 
 his rescue. ^z- 
 
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 CHAPTER VIII. « 
 
 " rarturiuot niontc!", nnscctur rlillrulun iiuw." 
 
 THE day was nearly spent, and judging from what had been 
 accomplished, the prospect of an initfIc<Trato triumph ,of 
 the " woman's rights" scheme could not be regarded as par' 
 ticularly flattering. A desperate assault had indeed been made, 
 by a dcfpcratc foe, upon the ** tyrant man," but without any 
 perceptible impression upou hfs defen sfljf His throne stood 
 apparently as Grm as ever upon its deep foundations. 
 
 Seven o'clock arrived. The house was packed, Crowds 
 thronged the doorways, unable to gain an clitrance. Those 
 who were not advertised of the vote separating the sexes, both 
 male and female, made occasipnaKmistakcs. Whenever a gen- 
 tleman happened to get on the 'wrong side, no sooner was his 
 attention called to it, tlcui he invariably apologized for the ap- 
 parent indignity, aveniug his ignorance of the resolution, as he 
 made the bestiof his way to the " /'//" The same, on the other 
 hand, was generalfy true of the ladies, as they edged along to the 
 "rif/ht." Now and then was heard, in a spiteful, feminine 
 tone, "I won't — I shall set where I please fir all anybody." 
 
 Half an hour had elapsed and not an officer appeared in her 
 place. ]*ro.«i(lcnt, A''ice-Presidcnt and Secretaries were scattered 
 la variu.uii duxctiviio uu tLcir own side of the house. 
 _ . _ _ (MX — 
 
 ^ 
 
A 
 
 ^>t' 
 
 \'0\.\Av.h or f HE XlXxn Century. 
 
 87 
 
 ^ 
 
 At IcTiRtU Mn. Chloc AU-tonfjue, who was alwnys " there," 
 ;n cmcrp-ncics, aro^o and Haid— " 1 have a list of resolutions 
 tliat I want adopted, and I'll have them adopted too, if I have 
 to adopt them myself. My man told me to press 'era through, 
 Rt all hazards, and get into the commissioners of resolutions 
 besides, whieh I mean to do before I leave the city." 
 
 Mis. Wtnkh. " I've got a batch of resolutions too, that / 
 want adopted. I was aW advised by my husband to look out 
 for a place on the resolution committee, which I calculate to 
 do. The meeting will give attention while I road them : ' The 
 committee through their chair- ^rowu/H, Mrs. Winkle— — ' " 
 
 Mn. Alltow/ue, interrupting—*' Now, M>s. Winkle, I'd like ^ 
 lo know if fhat's parliamentary ? ,t^ fait any how, and I'll 
 go so far as to say, it ain't neither fllliko nor honorable— I'll 
 leave it, to the meeting if I didn't fairly git the start, so you 
 needn't go to^tickcn in your 'butch' till I giLmine done." 
 [),. M . u I i^opo I shall be pardoned f(5rintenrupting the 
 
 lady, while I take the liberty to suggest that the officers. re- 
 sume their places, and a committee be properly appointed tore- 
 port resolutions f.r the consideration of the convention. I do 
 not wish to be understood as tUciatuuj, but merely make the 
 
 suggestion." 
 
 Mrs. TrnrJorr. " I do not ompvchcnd the drift of the 
 gentleman's nuKirk.. I take it, am in the way of official duties ^ 
 —at all events my husband told «e so— that is to say, as I un- 
 derstood him-and I've got it vrote down, so ag to be very 
 
 exact. :■'''■: .'.-■■ 
 
 <i<Firstf That I should be ele ted. 
 
) 
 
 88 
 
 Lucy USbtost. 
 
 " * Secondf That I should bo conducted to the chai^r. ' 
 
 " ' Third, That I should delircr my introductory address, ro 
 taming thanks for the nncipntrd hondi-, &c.j and 
 
 " < FmirtJdi/, That ray office expired when the convention ad- 
 journed/ IIo writ down every word I've said ; I learned 
 it all by heart, and ho didn't say a single syllable about any 
 thing else. I am positive ho would if there had been, for he i» 
 Tery particular to be exact in what ho doe?). He's been to 
 more than fifty conventions and seen as good society as other 
 folks, and I guess ho knows what's a proper and JU*uldnM, as 
 any body if he is a tailor , and I am resolved to follow the in- 
 struction of n£>y constituent to a /<^/^>r." . 
 
 Mr$. Blood-fjood (hrai Vice-l'rosidcnt), springing to' her 
 feet, in much agitation said, '"For my part, I don't like to be 
 snapped up in this way, in public, by any body, I don't caro 
 how high his station. I have exactly followed the footsteps *t'> 
 my illustrious predecessor, as I am proud to call Mrs. Trmlovc 
 — just what my husband told me was right, and charged mc to 
 do, and I guess my husband has got as solid an understanding/ 
 as some other folks, if he is a »hucma/ccr. I'm not a going to 
 be heeled and toed and hammereij!. around in this style, by no- 
 body—I confess that I liegin to wax warm -^ but I am for 
 sticking to the last, and letting our oppressors know, that they 
 can't crush us under their iron hoofs any longer." 
 
 Mrs, Blood-i/ood h&d scarcely ended, as a rustling of silk at- 
 tracted all eyes towards an individual edging along with a 
 twitching motion from the back end of a'^w. 
 
 "I supposed this was a convention of iitdtes; I did not come 
 
 -V 
 
 \ 
 
 
 ^i>- 
 
 ^ 
 
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 \ 
 
 Follies oi* the XIXtii Cj'Inturv 
 
 89 
 
 hero to assooiato with tailor* and HhormakeiH^ iciin," Hputtcrvd 
 a pert littlo Miu, uh, turning up her little ariHtuunitio noMC, ulio 
 flirted out of the house, spitefully slamming the door behind fior. 
 
 J//7I. \V!</ff,iitit. " My huHbnnd told me I must be president, 
 
 and gave mo a speech which I hav<f,got by heart. He snid I 
 
 must give it to -^tho secretary, so I took pains to copy it all iu 
 
 "my own hand-writing (holding up the manuscript) 3 here it is, 
 
 nil ready for the secretary." 
 
 Mr$. All-tohijur. "3Iy man told me I must decline being 
 president, very strenuously, and learned me just what to say, 
 and how to say it, and snid I must write it down and give it to 
 the 2>(^f'f'f for publication, which I did at the Irving House, 
 after supper." 
 
 Reverend tie. M , again rising, said, " I do not by 
 any iflPP wish to intrude upon the rights of others, iind hope 
 
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 our friends will pardon mc for again taking the liberty of say- 
 ing a word. The evening is fust passing away and I think all 
 will agree with me, that but little if any thing has been accom- 
 plished. I^adics arc assembled here, not only from the city, 
 but various sections of the country, som*o of them from a great 
 distance. You have aU come with patriotic and ^worthy mo- 
 tives, to attain a great and most laudable object. Vast good 
 may result from this convention, if properly conducted. A fa- 
 Torablc impression must be made upon the community, and 
 above all an nnfavorable one must be avoided, in order to insure 
 success. It is evident there arc various resolutions in the 
 hands of niimbers present, each of whom has come expecting 
 the distinguished honor of being at the head of the committee. 
 But all of course cannot have it, an(^ as the different indi- 
 ■- — 8* —^ - \ - 
 
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 xUlmU arc aliko, Hccking to nrrivo at the numo griind rcnuU, ft 
 linlc conciliation will rcmovo the difficulty, at least ho far h« 
 to furniHh oiyho competitors an opportunity of laying' their 
 Bcntimcnts before tl»o rtieWinpr, for consideration and a^lopfion. 
 
 «' By way of compromise^! would therefore recommend that 
 the officers resume their places on the platform, and some lo«ly 
 move that a committee of uinrOev be appointed by the chair to 
 report resolutions expressive of the sense of the convention." 
 
 Following this suggestion th& officera took their appropriate 
 scats. The prcsfilcnt beckoned the Doctor to her, and after 
 various whisperings excluimcd — 
 
 "I call the meeting to order ! Wq arc now ready f^r biisi. 
 
 DCSS." • 
 
 Silence again ensued, indicating to the reverend Doctor, that 
 if the inert, unwieldy body Was to movb at all, he himself 
 must be the motive power. This conviction brought hfm to 
 his feet again, in a som^hat'^less moderate and dignified man- 
 ner than was usual for him. His looks revealed his feelings-* 
 his words proved thciii. Poor man ! who could have a heart 
 to blame him for the partial severity of his eye and tone, as he 
 
 remarked — • 
 
 m <' It is now almost eight o'clock and next to nothing has 
 . been done, and small prospect that any thing will be done. I 
 may appear to be officious and out of my place, but fpr the 
 honor of your sex and the cause, I will assume the responsibil- 
 ity — if you please to call it so— of making one more sugges- 
 tiop, which is, that you procjccd at once to business, if jou 
 have any business to transact, and^f not, that you adjourn 
 without delay. A short time since, an indefinite number of 
 
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 X 
 
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 FoLi.iKH or nir. XIXtii ('KNunY. 
 
 01 
 
 •J 
 
 laJicB Imd the floor, all onger to pro^cnfn<»olutu)ii«, ana well 
 i,i,tru(trd'no ihiiht liovrtt. drmcun thfm«olvo« j but now, when 
 it iM well uudtTstooa, by all who have ai./ac.|uainlanco with 
 public meetings, that the ,.£rffOil who n.ovcg^hc appointment 
 of a committee is always mailo the chairman, or placed at the 
 head of it, no one accms dinpowed to n.ako the motion. TIHh 
 may be the rewult of .modesty or a want of courage." 
 
 M,9. AH.t,m,fnv intorruptin«. " O, I remember, tliat'H ju»t 
 what my husband told mo, to gekjip and move, exactly aa ho 
 wrote it, and to bo «ure and have it right, I'll read it : ^ 
 
 ««0n motion of Mrs. t'hloc All-tonguo) a committee of 
 ^ . -was oppointcd to draft resolutions cxpressivo of the 
 
 :<» 
 
 sense of the convention.' 
 
 *' Thcre^ the fool, he's left out something. Its just like th« 
 blunderhead. Ho never does any thing right. A smart trick 
 indeed— go and borrow the money to bear my expcnsc« clear 
 here, and leave that out— I'll— I'll— just wait till I get home, 
 that's all. Send mc here to make a dunce of myself. lie did 
 it on purpose, the villain, I know\ he did." 
 
 The remainder of her, remark.s, which were continued at 
 some length, were not di.stinetly audible j from what could bo . 
 gathered, they seemed to threatea something of a caudlcistio 
 
 nature. "^ 
 
 Our reverend friend had by this time subsided into his usual 
 frame of amiable cniuposurc, ^oxxy that he had allowed his feel- 
 injrs to g.;t the better nf him, and resolved not to let the sun 
 ri.'e upon his indignation and disgust. With the meekness of 
 Moses and the patience of Job, a very martyr to the cause, he 
 calmly .essayed one more .suggestion. 
 
 i 
 
 
Lucy Boston. 
 
 -«.-j-«» 
 
 ^1^- 
 
 Mtt 
 
 " It seems to me," he remarked, " if I may be nllow;^^! to 
 add a word, that in order to expedite business, what jMrt. All- 
 tonguo has iust said, had better be regarded as a motion, though 
 somewhat informal, and that if it be seconded and carried, as 
 I hope and trust it will be, the chair may as well exercise its 
 discretion by the appointment of a suitable number." 
 
 He sat, and' silence reigned around. Anon, rising slowly, 
 and with infinite amiability he resumed : 
 
 " I feel a very deep interest in the cause of " woman's rights j" 
 therefore I came, and have remained here so long, to the annoy- 
 ance of some it may "be, but with a sincere desire to aid the ladies 
 in their noble enterprise. I am now under' the necessity of ^ 
 leaving, and hope to hear a good report of the doings of the 
 convention during the remainder of its session. My s^mjni- 
 ikies are with you. Ibid yon 'ffood speed,"* and with the 
 gait and air of real benevolence, the good Doctor took his hat 
 and^his departure. ' / , 
 
 " Good ridd«aice more liko^!" exclaimed Mrs. All-tongue, as 
 "Ihe door closed behind hiny "I'm glad his lordship is gone. 
 He has kept us here all day and a good share of the night 
 doing nothing. There will be something done now, and first 
 and foremost I'vfx going to pass my resolutions. Three cheers 
 for freedom from the 'oppression and tyranily of men.' " (Im- 
 mense cheering and swinging of bonnets and handkerchiefs.) 
 
 Miss. Pendergrass. " If I may bT~altewed to express my 
 feelings, I think Mrs. All-tongue is making herself very con- 
 spicuous here, and that she would appear full as well if .>«lio 
 had, a little less tongue, or at.Jeast if she didn't useit quite so 
 much." 
 
 ♦ * 
 
 .^.,, 
 
 r 
 
 •^ 
 
■*, . 
 
 >*r. 
 
 Follies op the XIXtii Century. 93 
 
 Mrs. AU-{on;/itc. " 0, dear ! I suppose you thiuk, because 
 you're a merchant's daughter, you're a'great deal better than any- 
 . body else. Your father better pay my mjn for the very shoes on 
 your hocks now, and which I bound myself. I think it would 
 'look (juite^ well, Miss Sal. Pendcrgrass. There! I guess 
 you'll let me alone afler this and mind your own business. If 
 you don't, I'll/ tell what I heard at the tea-party tother a'rter- 
 nodu. Your father haint got no store? There isn't such ar- 
 ticles as lat'c and muslins in it? Sam Jones aint his clerk? 
 , liut we all projniscd not to .suy a word about it, ar^ I shan't, 
 if you'll only let mo alone." "* > . ■■. ^ ' 
 
 The IWi^ufciit. "I think the lady ought to tell. Its all 
 among ourselves, and we'll agree to keep it perfectly still." 
 
 Mka PeiulenjrasH. "Its all tilit;. I wasn't m the store 
 that i,iigh|i. Its a downright falsehood, made of whole cloth, 
 UjjuieiSiHgcand nothing else. I never had any sueh thing. 
 ]Mrs. All-tongue wasn't in the room when Mrs. Ogle told it, 
 and there wasn't a single woman there that believed a syllable 
 of it." 
 
 - MUn Boston. Mrs. President, t have not as yet troubled the 
 convention with any remarks. It was my design, with the 
 permission^ of the house, to take some humble part in its pro- 
 ceedings. I have had the honor of being present on several 
 similar occasions, but never before have I witnessed so large 
 and enthusiastic an assemblage. Many hours have wasted 
 away and it is late, yet not too late to accomplish much if the 
 time be profitably employed. I would, therefore, move that a 
 committee of three be appointed to prepare an address, to be 
 submitted to th^ people. I hope that some lady will second 
 
94 
 
 Lucy Boston, 
 
 the motion of 3Irs; AU-tonguo, aud I doult not it will receive 
 a unanimous vote." 
 
 " I will second the motion of Miss Boston," said Mrs. Pea- 
 body. 
 
 "I second the motion of Mrs. All-tonguc," interi^uptdd 
 Mrs. Winkle ; " and I will read my resolutions and have them 
 j)asscd on at once." 
 
 Mi>i$ Boston. "Mrs. President, it seems to me that the 
 question had better be put, without further delay." 
 
 " I put the question," said the chair. 
 
 " Aye," said the convention. 
 
 Mias B . " AVill it not be best now for the chair to ap- 
 point, say seven ladies, as the committee on resolutions, and let 
 them retire ?" . / 
 
 The Chair. "I nominate Miss Primrose and " . 
 
 "That is hardly courteous to Mrs. All-tongue," said Mi.^s 
 Boston. " According to all custom she should be put at the 
 head of the committee." 
 
 "I was going to put her there," replied the chair-woman, 
 pettishly, "and should, if you had let me alone. I will put 
 you there and make you retire, if you interrupt me again." 
 
 "I beg pardon of the president, if I have offended," said 
 ; Miss Boston, mildly; "I certainly intended no disrespect." 
 
 Miss Primrose said, " I have no particular objection, Mrs. 
 President, of belonging to the committee, but I must positively 
 decline the honor of being the chairman, or ehair-itowiau I 
 should have said. First on account of my age and incompe- 
 tency, and secondly, because I think like the lady last up, t^t 
 honor belongs to Mrs. All-tongue, as the mover of the resolu- 
 
 ■■■*^i 
 
 7' 
 
s.«W 
 
 Follies op the XIXtii Century. 96 
 
 ■■ ' * 
 
 tion. In order that harmony may attend our deliberations, I 
 
 hope Mrs. All-tongue may be appointed leader of the com- 
 mittee. 
 
 ?7jc Chair. "Well, if it suits you any better, I name 
 'Mrs. All-tongue." 
 
 " There, Mrs. All-tonguo," said Miss Pcndergrass, in at! au- 
 dible voice, "I guess you're satisfied now, and ready to retire; 
 just what you ought to have done long ago, for the credit of 
 the cause and your own too." „ ' 
 
 The Chair. "I hope ladies will leave their bigkerings till 
 they get home. Let them settle their difficulties there, if they ■ 
 must have them. Silence the house while I finish the, com- 
 mittee." ■-• ■ ■■v-- -^r . ■; ''■ •■.'■.•" ' ■■■ 
 
 /^he^house was silent and the oommittee completed in tho 
 appointment of * 
 
 Mrs. All-tongue, 
 Mrs. "Winkle, Miss Primrose, 
 
 Mis Pendergrass, Mrs. Peabody, 
 
 MissKilduff, Mrs. Blood-good. 
 
 \4fter suitable instruction frotR Miss Boston, as to their 
 duties and the conventional meaning of the word "re/tV<?," 
 which they did not seem readily to comprehend, the immortal 
 SEVEN were conducted to the committee room. They sat with 
 closed doors, and as no one was admitted to their conference, 
 we caUhot, at present, ^report their proceedings^ but should we 
 chanee^to learn them, the public shall not fail to receive a 
 record, so much to be prized, of the doings of that secret 
 session. 
 
 ilfm £oston. " Mrs. President, I believe my motion is now 
 
 ..j!-j 
 
*mr 
 
 m 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 '^ 
 
 in order for the appointment of a committee of three, to pre- 
 pare an address, and I would like to have the expression of the 
 
 house upon it." 
 
 The Chair: ", The house is at perfect lijberty to exprossi 
 
 Itscir" ''" 
 
 Miss B' "■": . "I mean I would like to have the |5tesident 
 
 put the question." : 
 * llie Chair. "Well, if that is what ydu mean, why didn't 
 
 you say so? I like to see people make themselves intelligibli;. 
 
 1 put the motion." 
 
 , " Aye," said the convention. 
 ' " Miss Boston, Mrs. Freeman, and Miss Kingsley, constituted 
 
 the committee. I and my colleague Miss Kingsley, said Mrs. 
 
 Freeman, have had the pleasure of hearing an address already 
 , prepared by the chairwoman. We cordially approve it, arid 
 
 desire that it be read as the report of the committee." - 
 
 " The head of the- committee will please to read us their re- 
 port," baid the president 
 
 ' \Miss Boston^ "It gives me groat pleasure to find that the 
 address which I have prepared with considerable care, is fully 
 approved by the other members of the committee, with whom 
 I have the .honor to be associated. I can but express my thanks 
 for the une?fpected and unmerited compliment. With these 
 preliminary remarks, youi; committee would report the fol- 
 lowing j ..;■.'■■•,.; ■ , • ,; .■ ^ „ 
 
 " ' Address to the Puhtic in hehaJf o/^\'bman's Rights: — 
 " ' Progression, Improvement, Civilization, and Equality, are 
 the four ruling words of the age. The first two, though in one 
 gense synonomous, are nevertheless distinct in their particular 
 
 I .:A 
 
 ;«; 
 
1 
 
 
 
 
 K 
 

 ■-^*,.- 
 
 ■' *»: 
 
 '^'' 
 
 zjf^-*' 
 
 L^-.BBzsa.Kiiffis,'' V ' *-, H^r 
 
Follies of tub XIXth Centub, 
 
 07 
 
 a,.plication. These four words are the ijdadruple Pbier, the 
 compound Lever, with which the world has heen tll^n^ up-side 
 down, or rather right-side up, and they are now converted into 
 
 Events 
 forces, 
 in the 
 
 the majestic wheels which are rolling the mighty car of 
 on to its destiny. These principles are the dominant 
 which, especially for the last half century, jhave issue 
 rapid, accelerated, almost miraculous advancement elf I society 
 in every department of physical, intellectual, and moral alctivity. 
 And all this, selfish man arrogates to himself. He oldims to 
 be engineer, conductor, and superintendent of the train, and 
 that woman is nothing hut the lumbersome baggage. 
 
 " * Now wo dispute this claim with him, and propose to dia- 
 cusa its merits. In doing so, we shall maintain — 
 
 " < First, That this new impulse in human improvement had 
 its real origin, not in man but in icomofi. 
 
 " ^ Secondly, That woman and not man has contributed most 
 tp its advancement, and |p ^ 
 
 «< < Tidrdly, That woman is equally, if not more capable than 
 man of continuing this progress to an indefinite limit of time 
 and degree.' 
 
 " These three propositions we shall consider very briefly, for 
 it needs little more than the baire statement of so manifest a 
 truth, to carry conviction to every honest mind, and such 
 only may we hope to reach. Wa invite attention therefore 
 while we restate and establish ciur position : 
 
 "< Proposition first. The modern impulse in science and 
 improvement originated chiefly, not in man but in woman. 
 
 « < We arc fully aware that we are met at the outset by man, 
 'armed to the teeth,' and backed by legions of inventions and 
 ', 9 .. ■■ 
 
08 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 discoveries, of parent rights and copyrights, of literary and 
 scientific diplomas, and professional insignia, with the steam- 
 boats, railroads, telegraphs, and ship of state at their command 
 — truly a most imposing array, and against which it may ap.^ 
 pear tjie part of folly and madness for us to contend; but bo it 
 re^6mbcred, * the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the 
 strong.* We have a magazine set, which needs but to be 
 touched, and this mighty host, with their munitions and in- 
 trenchmcnts are blown into chaos, this magazine is the power 
 of truth, and the torch we hold to ignite it, the frcrdovi of 
 speech. When, we ask, did the mind of man emerge from its 
 state of imbecility, and, putting on strength and activity, enter 
 upon the march of improvement ? Not till woman put forth 
 her native energies to cast off the yoke and burst the chains 
 of her oppression. Not till members of our sex, in spite of 
 their serfdom, springing from obscurity like stars from the 
 bosom of night, and ascending with growing luster, became 
 new planets ensphered in the intellectual heavens, and in the 
 presence of whose radiance the old members of the system 
 grew pale. Hence, not from pure spontaneousness, but alone 
 through fear of losing the scepter of his power and the crown 
 of his glory, man leaped up and, girding himself, rushed forth 
 to his achievements, taking good care to herald them abroad 
 with the sound of his own trumpet. Just as the Sultan or the 
 Czar, to prop their tottering thrones and suppress the uprising 
 of republicanism, stud the empire with bristling bayonets and 
 spread the royal banners from every tower as the manifesto of 
 their sovereignty. Had it not been for the fear of losing his 
 supremacy, not to this hour would man have known any resur- 
 
 
 *. 
 

 •»\ 
 
 FotLiES OF THE XlXrif (Jkntury. 
 
 99 
 
 rcction from the grave of liin ignorance and weiikncRS. It is 
 therefore plain that vommi was the proeuring cause or the - 
 virtual origin of the upward developments of the present cen- 
 tury." (Bursts of applause.) 
 
 " ' Proposition second. Womariyand not man, has contrilnitM 
 vwnt to the proyresa of the aijc : — 
 
 " ' As womiin was evidently the mainspring to human activity, 
 8hc must of course bo regarded as the normal force, not only of 
 the first impulsgibut also of its continuance; for withdraw tho 
 propelling force from the great machine of society, and every 
 thing would at once subside into a dcsid stand-still : undeniably, 
 woman is the motive power of tho world. ^Vhat, wo would 
 asR, makes the world grout? Its grout 7/..»^ fchcy will answer 
 — grant it. But whence the great vwn? J^hat fiishioned. , 
 the" Spartan heroes? Their Spartan mothers. What made 
 General Washington great? General Washington's mother 
 What gave John Adams his towering position in the history of 
 • our country's independence? John Adams' tr*/c. What led the 
 son, John Quincy, to become the prince of wisdom in America, 
 if not in the world? The influence of John Quincy Adams' 
 mother. So of the vast majority, if not all, of the great, the wise, 
 and the good among men. The inheritance of their renowned 
 destiny was bequeathed to them, not by their sires, but by their 
 mothers. B|^ale influence is the key that unlocks the hidden 
 stores of kSledge and fills^'ib.world with illustrious charac-^ 
 iers, which cotfstitutes the world's greatness. But besides 
 making the great men, woman has made herself great, towering 
 as high anjl weaving for herself a diadem as bright as any of 
 the inspired lords of creation, an«l that too in defiance of the 
 
100 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 numerous ond oppnrontly insuperable obHtaclcs thrown aeroHS ^ 
 l.or path, by her envious oppressor. If we-*earch the rccorda ^ 
 of history/ wlicre find wo brighter names, or exaniplcs more 
 illustrious, than tho^ie of female genius ? What general more 
 renowned for military prowess, than Joan of Arc, or Cleopatra, 
 that gigantic titancss on tho tented Ueld? The empire of 
 Kussia, overshadowing and threatening to absorb tho cast- 
 cm continent, is but a legacy to Nilfcolaa tho Great, from 
 tiio Empress Catharine. What periods in tho history of the 
 Anglo-Saxon race more rich in splendid aciiievcmonts of 
 thought and action, thart the reigns of Elizabeth and Victoria? 
 In fine, were we to select a champion from either sex, and after 
 the manner of the nncicnts, send them in to^ the arena to. settle 
 the question of superiority for thiir respective parties, the 
 combatants are at hand. Napoleon Bonaparte is, nearly by 
 common consent, pronounced tho most stupendous prodigy of 
 n man that tlfc .world has ever seen. Yet was Josephine moro ; 
 thanjws^compeer. She, and not the Great Napoleon, was in 
 cbiefThe stability of tho ii^pcrial throne. " IIo was indeed 
 the emperor, but she, in reality, governed tho people, -He led 
 his armies to victory, and * disposed of courts, and crowns, and 
 camps, and churches, and cabinets, as if they were tho titular 
 dignitaries of the chess-board V But every where, and at all 
 times, Josephine was his presiding genius, and her presence 
 the prestige of success. When abjured by his ambition, sho 
 withdrew from his support, how soon was the ' mighty fallen I' 
 He struck from the firmament his guiding star, and the mighty , 
 , mariner, wrecked amid darkness and tempest, miserably perished 
 on his desolate sea-girt rock ! 
 
V*'. 
 
 -m:' 
 
 ...:^1 
 
 FOLLIBH OF TUB X 1 X T U CENTURY. 101 
 
 " < 8uch 18 troimttt. liOt her but retire, and Samson's strength 
 h (Icpurtcd I— J)eny it who will, the truth remains, that not . 
 merely in the doiiiestio fubrie, but in the glorious structure of 
 the world's history, ivonian forms both the foundation and 
 top-most stone." (Uopcntcd bur«trt of applause.) 
 
 " ' Troposition thud. Woman u cqnaU^, if not more cajm- 
 hie than man of carri/imj foncard the proccu of human im* 
 provcmeiit to an indtftnite limit of time and dr<jrce: — 
 
 " < This follows as a naturiil and inevitable conclusion from 
 the two preceding propositions, and is little less than self-evi- 
 dent truth. Ilcnco, it needs scarcely more than its simple 
 announcement, to carry conviction to every candid mind. It 
 is a philo.sophical axiom, that ' like causes produce like effects.' 
 If therefore, as wo have seen, woman was the potential origia 
 and equuUy the promoter of human activity in the various de- 
 velopments of the past, it must follow with the certainty of 
 consc(iucnt to its antecedent, that she is also competent to 
 carry the world forward to the termination of its glorious and 
 sublime destiny. And suph we must believe to be her mission, 
 unless indeed the constitution and order of nature be changed, 
 which, however, can never happen, since the laws of mind and 
 of matter are as fixed as the Being who made them. Here wo 
 rest the argument as a triumphant demonstration of the justice 
 of our claims and the surety of their success. 
 
 " < Nature, justice, eternal truth and right, constitute tho 
 tower of our strength and the rock of our safety. Wc unfurl 
 our banners and ' hang them on the outward wall!' Our proud 
 pennant, nailed to the mast, floats on the breeze. The contest 
 
 9* 
 
 ^r^.^- 
 
 *- ^ ^;*^^' 
 
 #1 
 
xr7 
 
 ^ 
 
 102 
 
 Lucy lloiTON". 
 
 
 t 
 
 ■hMtons. Our cmaneipution draws nigh. TlwdlllpHlciipoi^ 
 
 man aro numbcrcu. 1 mn 
 
 rt ■ 
 
 •Hlrlkc! yf hcrohics-ln thrnll ; 
 Hlrlite! till tku ty runt foo nlmll full } 
 Strike ! fust niul Imnl, l)«»tli one »ntl all; * • ' 
 Striltf I fi»r Freoiloiii anil Woinau'* lUghtf , 
 
 (Unboutidcd upplausc.) ^ 
 
 The addjjpSwaH adopted with a Hhout, that made tho raftort 
 of tho buildinjlf tixiublo. 
 
 Tho committee oi» rosolutiooH returned. Mrs. AU-tonguo 
 ' inciuircd the oceu.sion of such a "big noise," and learning tho 
 cause, she dontaiuled a rccousideratign of the vote, that she 
 miglit add tho power of hrt voice in the passago of a measuro^ 
 80 h)udly callcdTor and so unspeakably important. However, 
 reluctantly wuivin- her '"""lildlyi^^'^ of-bqing/u-cm^ in 
 obedience tUlfic call for th( yjitf p| p| .he cof|#teo,^m8. 
 All-tongue submitted as followsT- 
 
 " Mrs. Prcmhnt, atul ladies of the convention: — 
 ■ " Wc found that each of uahad a lot of resolutiops, and finally 
 -agrcj^-to pass them all and take them home with' us ; but I shall 
 rcrmkonly what' fullers, which I've collected together as a kind 
 of^m total of the whole. 
 
 « ' Fifsf. llcsolv9d — That we all join hands and do up tho 
 work which we have to do 
 
 ' " ' Second, llesolvcd — That tho following petition be circu. 
 latcd all over the State and sent to the Legislature. 
 
 ' « ' Third, llesolvcd — That it incorporates the feeling and 
 determination of this convention. 
 
 1l 
 
 # 
 
 #^ 
 
 '% 
 
. 
 
 FoLUkSS ov 
 
 TUB XIXtII ClWTURY 
 
 Yurft . 
 
 .«■ 
 
 «/ New 1 wr* .'i— 
 
 # 
 
 " ' To the LtfjUhlure '>, - ^^ 
 
 '" 'The undor-writcrrt claim to rcprcfseut tliat tie «u»)joc»inil- 
 iurly known utul gcuiiiully ridiculci un.l«r tb« name of '•Woman'* 
 Rights," ii now greutly ooiivulsing #« fciwalo public — thai 
 ther-*""^*'^ viewed with unavaihiWo s(Wrow and occasional dia- 
 gu»t, fur a long time |)a»t, iho oxl«t«nco of the cau«c8 that make 
 thi. petition called fur. Your petitioners therefore not only 
 decently a«k, but positively demand, that a law nhall bo ianme- 
 diutely 'paHHcd," giving the ^vomcn a right to vote; nmking 
 them fcA-Hiblo to placeH like ym ; and all other offices which the 
 people have got to give, whereby they may tifio to that elevation 
 HO cordial to their feelings, m natural to tlicir nature, so bene- 
 flccnt to their welfare, and so in keeping l»ith tho object of 
 their creatiatf ; and that wo may bo di^tinilly understood, wo 
 appeal and declare i»-thc exprcsaivo language of the bard — 
 
 ^ »• Should yon otherwlflo decree, 
 r»: . 'I'bo direful cousciiucnco will ho 
 
 " . Diminishwl population ; 
 
 And this with one accord we oayi , . • 
 
 __ If « woman's rights' are thrown away, 
 
 I» our determination.' " 
 
 ^ . ^ ■ ' ■ 
 
 ^Tho resolutions were passed unanimoiisly, Mttd followed with 
 
 uproarious cheering. « 
 
 U was now nearly midnight, and tho convention, with th©|;:* 
 best of good feeling, adjourned iinc die, the ladies, as might ^e ^ 
 supposed, respectively waiting upon the gentlemen' to the '■ 
 ''chips." 
 
 ., if 
 
 d 
 
 1 1 
 
 1 
 
 ■1- '■ 
 
(J» 
 
 J. ■ll„, 
 
 
 "/ 
 
 • 1 
 
 * ( 
 
 
 / I 
 
 // 
 
 
 t^ 
 
■^*.-: \^": 
 
 ^ 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 ^" .«The«nquirlDg8pirit will not becontroU'd, 
 
 .We would make certain nll.and all btibold." 
 
 BUSINESS completed and curiosity indulged in the great 
 city of Wonders, Badger turned his face homeward. Ab- 
 sorbed in the morning chronicles of the preceding day's events, 
 pregnant with the destiny of man and woman 'kind, he sat in 
 the railroad car when Miss Boston entered, whom, as she was 
 passing, he politely invited to occupy the seat beside him, 
 promising her protection from indignity or rudeness. She 
 readily "accepted, remarking that she recognized him at the 
 Tabernacle, and was much gratified in seeing him there, to 
 which he replied by expressing equal satisfaction at being pre- 
 sent. After various rejnarks relative to the city, its growth, 
 its Qommerce, its wealth, its amusements, &c., &c., their con- 
 versation naturally turned into ; the channel of "woman's 
 rights." * ' '' i 
 
 " What did you think of the. contention, sir ?" asked Miss B. 
 
 " I thought it was a big one," replied he. " What did you 
 think of it, Miss Boston ?" . 
 
 " There were many very foolish and some very sensible peo- 
 ple there. But that is the case, sir, with all popular asscm- 
 (104) ' V 
 
 *%?-- 
 
 Z' 
 
 >^ 
 
■i 
 
 ;t%f 
 
 /" 
 
 Follies 
 
 OP T«« XIXtii Century. 
 
 105 
 
 Wics. Nor is it at all surprising. Indeed it is, and in the 
 nature of things it must bo so, ^hile the present custom holds, 
 and men send their wives and daughters loaded with addresses 
 and resolutions and instructions to make themselves conspicu- 
 ous and gain notoriety. Not that these women are so much 
 to bo blamed. Thc^ are under the" control and direction of 
 their husbands and fathers and brothers. Thet/ have been 
 kept in a great measure secluded from society,— I mean the 
 every day matter-of-foct society of the business 'as well as the 
 ^^l^orld,-^And.anore, especially have they been denied a 
 
 ■K 
 
 ,-'0>-' 
 
 ^iaee iii deliberative bodies, where alone any person can acquire 
 a theoretical and practical knowledge of the jroutine of parlia- 
 mcntary proceedings. Pardon me, sir, if I appear to monopo- 
 lize the conversation. That is proverbially one of woman's 
 n^qncstionahle T\shtB you know. Besides the suhjcct i^ my 
 apology, if one is needed. You see I am entering a plea in 
 behalf of my sex for their general want of familiarity with the 
 ordinary method of transacting business of a public character. 
 •As I said, they' have been forever ostracised fmm all participa- 
 tion in the counsels of public bodies. And then you could 
 not have failed to discover the absenceof independence on the 
 part of almost, if not quite, all' of the ladies in the convention. 
 Strictly speaking, they were not delegates, but repremUaiives, 
 
 for they simply re/Zcc<etZ their 7ms6a«<7s and /afAers. 
 
 They dare not go contrary to the instructions of their liege 
 
 lords if they had been so disposed. I have attended a large; 
 
 number of conventions in the last few months, but in character 
 
 very different from this one. They were composed of dele. 
 
 gates, free-thinking, independent, strong-minded delegates, not 
 
 'U\ 
 
 
 '-*i*' 
 
 ^#. 
 
 
106 
 
 ■"^P 
 
 Lucy Boston, 
 
 representatives, or mere ViMiovaaions, the passive, pliant tools 
 ofUe men. I have ^bserved much in connection with this 
 subject, and meditated enough, much more than enough, to 
 convince me of . the propll'ety and justice of ourj^se, but 
 never-I must say it-nevfer have I seen or ^^P'^^ ^"^ 
 thing in relation to this quistion which ^as i#^^ me so 
 seriously as this convention.! Why only think of it, sir ! hun- 
 dreds of women there who nlver in their lives before had been 
 svfered\o attend a convention as^pcctators even, much less 
 to participate in one ! And 4hat a humiliating spectacle was 
 there presented ! That of its^f settles the question, and ren 
 ders our success sure and spec 
 
 " I am entirely satisfied," eagerly interrupted Badger j « I 
 
 fenow and have ever since I saw^ — the remembrance of 
 
 his adventure on their downward trip, at that instant arrested 
 him, in the middle of his sentence. . 
 
 " Since you saw^what, sir ?" inquired Miss B 
 
 « You'd get right up and leave me, if I should answer you, 
 BO I'd have no chance to tell you about it." 
 
 « No, sir, I promise to hear you through, provided you speak 
 in respectful language." ' 
 
 « Since I saw the spirit of the mermaid, then," he added— 
 
 « Spirit of the mermaid ! " repeated she, with a hearty fem- 
 inine laugh, and a look which left no doubt as to her opinion 
 of the spirit seer. /._ — --:.- — — 
 
 «Well,nf^'m to be laughed: at in this way, I'll see if I 
 can't find'^nother seat," said he, with the tone and air,j?f in- 
 Bulted feeling, and rising to depart. 
 
 " Pardon my impoliteness, sir j I really intended no ofFeni^e. 
 
FOLLI E8 
 
 p THE XIXtii Centuiiy 
 
 107 
 
 I promise you not to laugh again, though it must bo confessed . 
 there is something comical about it. I have vritncssed ' spir- 
 itual d^onstrations' and am culled a believer, and a very 
 good ' medium ' besides, but never before did I hear of tho 
 spirit of ^mermaiii. I should as soon expect the spirits of 
 
 animals." 
 
 "Well, I've heard them too," said he; "and the awfulest 
 
 racket that ever was made." ^_ 
 
 Again Miss B- ^ broke into a fit of laughter. 
 
 «« You needn't make sport of me, for I did," persisted 
 Badger, with wounded pride. 
 
 "I was not laughing at i/ou/' answered she, "buFonly at 
 my own thoughts. Sir, you understand what a mermaid is? 
 if there ever was such a thing in existence, w)iicb, to say the 
 least, is extremely doubtful." 
 
 "I've heard something about them, ma'am, but I don't 
 know any thing except what she told me." . 
 
 " Well, sir, altow me to say, the most authentic accounts we 
 have of the animal, makes it a kind of fabulous creature, an 
 inhabitant of the ocean, part woman and part fish, but of the 
 two, I should think, rather the more JisJ^i/." 
 
 "That teas her I saw then. She said she used to live in 
 the ocean and set on a rock, and see the ships go by and men 
 in 'em, and she told me just what you did the other d^' 
 " Pray, sir, when and where did you see her ? " j^^^ 
 "T'other night, in my room. She came twice. The first 
 time she didn't stay only a minute, but she said she would see 
 me again the next evening; and she did, after all were asleep, 
 and she stood a good while and talked to mc, and told me all 
 
 .■Vi 
 
 ■ •■ ■*. , 
 
108 
 
 Lucy !^08Ton 
 
 \ 
 
 ~ about Woman's Rights and the men, and bow tbey abused tbe 
 women, and about the spirit land, where she said she come 
 from, and how the womea ruled tbe men there, and how spirits 
 come to get away to come to earth. She said the female 
 spirits broke loose, because the men tormented the, women so, 
 down here ; and a great many other things. I wish you could 
 only have seen and heard her as I did," said our bachclftr, with 
 great rapidity and eiji^phasis, his eyes, with a marvelous glaro, 
 standing f^uite out of bis head. 
 
 " You seem very earnest, sir," said she. " A strange story 
 you are relating. You saw her twice did you ? " 
 "Yes, I did, as true as I live." 
 *f And she talked?" | 
 
 " Yes, both times, but a ^ood deal the most the second time." 
 " Did any one else sec her ? " 
 
 "No, not anybody. She said she come to me, because I 
 \ hated the women, and told me to look" out and heed and listen 
 }toher." i- 
 
 / "And you did?" 
 
 "I guess I did. I heard every word as plain as day." 
 7 " And saw her all the time ? " T * 
 
 " To be sure I did. I was looking right gtraight at her, and 
 she right straight at me. O, how handsome she was ! " 
 " Did she have on costume ? " 
 
 "I don't know. She had a sight of real pretty ringlets, 
 and they come clear down to the floor, and covered her almost 
 all over, and I thought she had on something that looked like 
 thin gauze or muslin." 
 " She «too(i on the floor?" . 
 
 I 
 c 
 
 -w 
 
i'OLLIES OF THE XIXtH CeNTURY. 400 
 
 " No, ?he didn't stand on any thing, but just as a feather 
 docs in the air, or a fish in the water." 
 
 " How she came or how she went you cannot teU ? " 
 "No; the first thing I saw of her, she was standing right 
 before me, and she went away just as quick. She went right 
 out in the storm." "\ 
 
 " A stormy night, was it ? " 
 
 "Yes, the rain poured down in pails-ful and it thundered 
 and lightened awfully." ' !j> 
 
 " Did any thing else happen?" - 
 
 "I guess there did. Everything in my room was all at 
 once hopping about and turned topsy-turvy, and as quick as 
 she come it all come right again. I wai sitting on the foot- 
 Ijoard," and from this point he proceeded to give a full ac- 
 count of the scene on that wonderful night. ,, > 
 
 Miss Boston having attentively heard him tlirougb, re- 
 muined for some time in thoughtful silence. At last she said 
 to herself — ' / 
 
 " Strange ! — very strange! — this must be so — there it* noth- 
 ing impossible in it after q3^" then turning to him, " -AJnd she 
 told you that woman was going to rule very soon ? " 
 
 " Certainly she did, and said she told it to me from the spirit 
 land, and prophesied it too." 
 " And do you believe it ? " 
 
 "1 know it." 
 
 " And this is what you wished to tell me, on our way down? " 
 " That's just what I meant." 
 
 " I had met with so many insults that day, that I hardly 
 knew when I was treated respectfully. I very much regret 
 W- 
 
110 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 ra^^aving you as I did, and sincerely beg your pardon, sir, for 
 my rude behavior toward you." * ^ • 
 
 Time bad passed so insensibly, that they were scarcely a^aro 
 of having left the depot, before " Poughkeepsie" was announced 
 by the conductor. 
 
 " I must leave you here, sir," said Miss B , " as I am 
 
 to addregg^an audience at this place, this evening." Wishing 
 her success, and expressing the hope of seeing her again, with 
 a friendly shake of the hand, thcj^ bade each other farewell, 
 and parted. , " 
 
 Stopping in Albany, for a short time, Amaziah chanced to 
 spy an advertisement in flaming letters. . ' , ; ^ 
 
 --^ ■ . "FiTsH Fits!!! . ^ . ^ 
 
 "A sure cnrc'/or fits, adapted to all ages, conditions, and 
 sexes, especially to females. Sole agency for the- State of New 
 rorkir-^ ' ' 
 
 The idea at once struck him that it was jjist the thing for 
 
 his good landlady, Mrs. Wilson, and thinking/§he might expect 
 
 *'a'present, he stepped into the office and inquired for the " rem- 
 
 ^edy for fits." The clerk very politely informed him that they 
 
 had a few boxes left, and placing them on the counter, advised 
 
 him, by all means, to take the " lot," protesting that they were 
 
 invaluable, and could be had nowhere else, that if he should 
 
 not liflppen to want them all himself, he could very readily di)i- 
 
 pose of them. Counting tlicmj he said there were eighty-three- 
 
 boxes, and if he w^uld take the quantity, he would call them 
 
 eighty, and.put tlum at t\vciity cents a box, though th§ usual 
 
 price was tweiil^-^tv c(nts. \ 
 
 Our benevolent bachelor thought he would hardly find use 
 
 f 
 ti 
 a 
 a 
 
 f 
 
 ■\ ■ 
 
 V-. 
 
Follies op the XIX tii Century. Ill 
 
 for 80 many, but as they were offered at such a bargain, he 
 dually took the "lot." With his pills stowed iu his pockets 
 and several advertisements in his hat, ho was soon under way, 
 and reached home in safety. 
 
 :-i 
 
 f 
 
 Mc 
 

 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Mbitake0 DOTer como single. 
 
 ■-K> I 
 
 THE sable goddess bad spread her blaci mantle wben Bad- 
 ger, laden with sundry budgets — news pd pills forming the 
 staple— alighted at his boarding-house. Oontrary to his antici-. 
 pation, there was none to greetrhim but Dinah. Wilson had 
 gone into the country to purchase a coio. Mrs. Wilson, in 
 company with her mantua-maker, a maiden lady, was attending 
 a meeting at the church — as Dinah expressed it, "a raeet'n 
 ob dc citizens, to spress dar pinion ob some men in New Yawk, 
 dat Missus was read'n bout* in de papat". Missus tell you all 
 bout it when she come." / 
 
 ^ Dinah — ^benevolent heart — spread the table with nice warm 
 refroshraents. Badger supped and ^Sought his room. Over- 
 •comc with fatigue, in conjunction /^ith 'the law of habit, he 
 went early to bed and quickly fell into ai^ sound sleep. The 
 meeting broke up at a late hour, Dinah, like a faithful ser- 
 vant, anxious to be up betimes in the morning, had gone to 
 • rest, when her mistress and the mantua-maker returned. They 
 of course must have their cJu/t in relation to the meeting and 
 matters in general, Ahat tm " big hour " airrived before they 
 were ready to retire. Mrs. W— ^■— iDStruct,fHl her friend that 
 
 /■ 
 
 (U2) 
 
 --'.- r 
 
Tf^r"-{T^j?¥^*.*-NE ^ «'"^,"' » n^Pf «^ '^'^H' 
 
 \ 
 
 $f « 
 
 J ? 
 
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 ■p ■' 
 
 • 
 
 f^,- "VJ 
 
 
 
 vi ■-. • •- >■- 
 
 ■ 
 
 
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 ■■/■.■ .■'■; .. ■ ' ■^. 
 
 
 
 
 mmumimitiilm 
 
• ' 
 
 ■">, 
 
 &' 
 
 118 
 
 Follies of the XIXth OxNtCRY. lit 
 
 she could occii]>y tliu Humo apartment ai before. The mantua- 
 inukcr ullcgiug tho briglitticaa of the evening quite equal to 
 that of day, djicliinJct'u proflcrod light, and with tho mutual 
 Mriuhcsof " plonsant dreams," proceeded to her lodgings. Her 
 nightly toilet completed, with the exception of something 
 under her pillow, whither she thrust one hand and at the 
 same time throwing (Tpcn the sheets with the other, in the im- 
 petuositjt of extreme haste, her foot was on the side-rail ready 
 fur a vault into the bo8om of repose, when with a shriek that 
 proved the Moundncss of her lungs, she bounded from the 
 room and down stairs, at every leap screaming '^ murJer / 
 murder V 
 
 Started from his slumber, yet but half a^^e^ and thinking^ 
 surely the house must be in flames, Badger sprang upon the floor, 
 threw his morning gown about him, nibbed bis eyes and 
 rushed after her, crying "Jire ! fire I " As he passed the sec- 
 ond floor, Mrs. Wilson bursting into the hall, frightened quite 
 out of her wits, fell in behind him, and in her headlong desoeat 
 filled up the chorus with " murder !—fire ! — help I " Bachelofi 
 landlady and old maid, all landed in a promiscuous heap, at the 
 foot of the stairs. Dinah who happened just then to have a 
 wakeful turn, had instantly struck a light, and with formidable 
 courage, came shuffling into the hall, Ijxclaiming — 
 
 ^'Xor a mighty, wat be de matter, wd,t mean all dis dreful 
 fusion here?" . 
 
 The boarders, aroused by t^ clamor, began to make their ap* 
 pearance, to l|eam the cause of this midnight alarm, in their 
 semi-nude and nightly regalia, while here and there were seen 
 night-caps tinaidly peering th r ough the se v e r al doors. — Mean- 
 
 10* 
 
 X 
 
 \ 
 
 
 
 J, 
 
 
 ■\ 
 
 IS, 
 
 
 
 - ■: ■. '^ ' . 
 
 '-"';. 
 
 ~s 
 
 
 
 
 J 
 
J *,"i^f>?f'^^^^^'m 
 
 IK 
 
 Lucv BosToX. 
 
 
 while Mrs. Wilaon and the mantua-niakcr — the latter in partic- 
 ular, more dead than alive — had »ucocodo4 in extricating iliera- 
 -lelTOS from the tnclet and gained a place of refuge, leaving qur 
 bachelor alone in a state of bewilderment. 
 
 "Brcss me, Misaur Badger, am dat you?" said Dinah, 
 holding up the candle and rubbing her eyes to assure herself 
 of his identity. " Wat for, sir, you rais'n sich a slurbance 
 dis o'clock ob de night, to skcer eb'U body to dcf." 
 r « I — f don't know, Dinah," stammlNced the frightened man ; 
 " lomebody came to my room and woko mo up, crying <mur- 
 iter,' and I raa down to see what it was." 
 
 Hifl voice being recognized by Mrs. Wilson, the mystery 
 was l^cadily unraveled. In his absence, she had as a matter of 
 convenience, in accordance with thb liberty often Exercised in 
 public houses as well as private — assigned the mantun-raaker 
 the tempojrary occuponcy of his dormitory. lie was uncon- 
 scious of the arrangement, they of his return, and hence the 
 above innocent, yet almost critical adventure. 
 
 Further explanation was unnecessary. With manifold cach- 
 inations, those who had come to the rescue, returned to their 
 quarters — the nightcaps vanished — Badger vamosed— and the 
 mantua-maker * turned in ' with the landlady, for the remain- 
 der of the night But the denoumcnt was not yet. They had 
 just composed themselves roundly to sleep, when Wilson re- 
 turned. It was understood that .he should not be home till 
 the next day, but having accomplished the object of his mis- 
 sbn, like good husbands in general, preferring the sacrifice of 
 his rest to even a night's absence from his family, he took up his 
 Bolitary ride and reached home at an early hour in the morning. ^ 
 
 I* 
 i 
 
 I 
 
I* 
 
 i 
 
 Pol LI 18 or tub XIXtu (^'entluy. ll(f 
 
 Oainiog siloat ontranco by iiieaDM of hiit uiglitkoy — to avoid 
 diHturbing tho sIunibcrR of tbo iuinulcM — uud hU fumiliarity 
 with Lia own domicile precluding the necessity of striking a 
 light, ho very quietly retired, unobserved by tho heavy hlcopers, 
 and himself ignorant of tho homo urrangcments, except — to 
 uso his own words — ^lic j^hought his •' better half" had monopo- 
 lized territory sonio degrees north of " ^lason's antT Dixon's 
 lin6," but in tho spirit of "cou) promise," ho very peacefully 
 occupied tho unappropriated space, though at tho great hazard 
 of falling out of bed. A few moments, and uU alike had 
 passed to tho realm of forgetful ness. 
 
 It was a late "liour in the n»oruing. Morpheus seemed re- 
 luctant to release his subjects, and long held them in tho 
 smudging toils of drowsiness. The sun, unablo to , look 
 through, could barely peep by the edges of the heavy curtains 
 in faint and slender lines upon the dingy wall. At last tho' 
 raantua-makor was awake, Wilson about half so, his wife 
 yawned once. 
 
 , " How ashamed I shall be to see him," said Miss Hagor, ^' I am 
 thirty-five years old, and never bcforo tHd I cut such a caper." 
 
 "0, that's nothing, only a little mistake," drawled the land- 
 lady, in her half conscious, dreamy state, as thpy lay Cozily 
 with their faces to the wall. 
 
 " He never'd known who it was, if you hadn't made such a 
 
 racket coming down stairs, and-^if — Dinah hadn't come with 
 
 — the-n-can — d — 1 — e," and she was ih a drowse again. 
 
 ■ "What KouI(J( folks say if the^ only know it, Mrs. Wilson ?" 
 
 earnestly exclaimed the troubled maiden : " I wouldn't have it 
 
 known for the world." 
 
/ ( 
 
 w 
 
 5> 
 
i 
 
 116 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 4 
 
 "O, Mr. Badger is a nice man. lie will keep it to himself, 
 and Dinah never tells tales — you know I never keep tattlers 
 
 about me," replied Mrs. W , in a consolitary tone, as she 
 
 inade another effort to coiue out of her sleepy fit. 
 
 "Now don't, for mercy sake, tell your husband about it, 
 will you, I feel so a\?fully — — p" ' * 
 
 "The devil you do," said Wilson, peering into tlie mantua- 
 makcr's face. " What new chum have you over there, wife ?" 
 • Miss Hagar uttered a cry as if oppressed by a score of 
 nightmares, and giving the coverlets so tiolent a twitch over 
 her head as to leave her nether extremities exposed — thus 
 "robbing Peter to pay Paul "-^ she suddenly collapsed as if 
 drawn together by a thousanjl cramps, with exclamations of 
 
 " Oh, dear ! Oh, dear me l What shall I do ? What sJtall 
 
 Ido?"" ■■ ■"■■■■. '' : 'r< ^ 
 
 It seemed as if the frightened creature would absolutely 
 ghjiftk ihto nothing. 
 
 " Why, husband, are yOu there ?" said Mrs. Wilson, now 
 fairly opening her 1;yes. ' ' 
 
 "Yes, wife, Pm right here." ■ 
 
 <' I thought you wasn't coming home last night. This is 
 Miss Ilagar, the m^itua-makcr. She thinks I better have 
 
 a lasqvii. Miss Ilagar, my husband, Mr. Wilson" but 
 
 this formal introduction was not responded to by the unlucky 
 spinster. .. ♦ 
 
 There was still discoverable, qn the back side, a diminutive- 
 looking heap, but 4he interjections had subsided by degrees 
 into a violent panting and low tremulous groans. 
 
 " What's up between her and Badger, wife ? A love affair, 
 
 
 ^ 
 
F h L 1 E s o 1' T 11 1: . X IX t ii C e n f u r y.. 117 
 
 
 ch ! All I'ij^ht, all right. Miss Badger, I hope for a better 
 "* acfjuaintance." 
 
 " She made a little mistake last night/'- said the wife, and 
 got into his room. She " 
 
 '* yes, all right," interrupted he. "An old bach — of 
 fifty "and a maiden on tire shady side of thirty-six are apt 
 'to ".. .. . ■ ■-. -. y-,. 
 
 " Dinah found out the mistake." 
 
 " Wouder if Aiuaziah can tell the difference betwceii a live 
 niantua-maker and her sign ? I'll intonogato him. Gome, 
 come, "Mrs. Badger, don't lie curled up there like a jiossiim. 
 You're not dead yet. Guess you'll survive the shock. Most 
 capital joke on Badg. though — ^^capital." 
 
 " Wh}', Mr. Wilson! you sha'nt talk so to' her. It' was 
 only a mistake. She did'nt know he was in his room. We 
 did'nt get homo from* the nicefcing till 'lovcn or twelve." 
 
 "All right — she could' nt, of course, very well expect he 
 would hb there at that time of night. But I guess she'll sur- 
 vive it. You take good care of her, wife, and I'll go -and see 
 whether Amaziah is dead or alive." 
 
 Thti little mound by the wall seemed to bo in ppasms, like 
 the shaking of a miniature curthqnako or a pilvanic battery 
 acting upon a pile of musilos, the only t!ii;ig'^t4uit now indi- 
 cated animal life, save a faint moanin;! sound. . ' 
 
 Wilson, hastily creeping into his apparel, made his exit. 
 
 The mantua-maker's form gmdually relaxed from its rigid 
 rotuudit}', and crawling timidly from h6,r hiding place after h«r 
 landlady, with nervous rapidity she sheltered hep- affrighted 
 
118 
 
 L t c Y Boston. 
 
 ■ 
 
 ■ {■(■ 
 
 
 modesty with Ucr wardrobe, meanwhile repeating to herself, 
 " Oh, dear !" followed by long, exhausting sighs. 
 
 The good landlady endeavored to cheer her, telling her not 
 to mind it — -that "nobody was to blame" — there was "no 
 harm done" — that it was useless to cry for " spilt milk" — be- 
 sides, " accidents woCkM happen in the best of families," &c. 
 
 This very innocent and harmless occurrence furnished a dish 
 
 nieely adapted to Wilson's palate for "fun-jottings," and 
 
 M Inch, with occasional " hashing up and warming over," was 
 
 sufficient to last for some time. Yielding to his ruling passion 
 
 for sport, he took a cruel satisfaction in misconstruing every 
 
 attempted explanation, feigning himself ignorant, though well 
 
 aware of the real facts in the case. He did not seek Badger, 
 
 but, on the contrary, avoided him, being unwilling to ab^te 
 
 the ttchncss of the joke by allowing him any opportunity for 
 
 explaaation. 
 
 , * Aniiiziah, Tnethodical to rule, and fifling a peculiar pressure 
 
 in the region of the lungs, sought out-door air, ibr the. relief 
 
 of his respiratory organs. Meefing the chaAibermaid, he said 
 
 to her-— 
 
 " Vou ni:iy take tliose things on my table and hand t^^em to 
 Miss lIager.".fc''iio I lococded in obedience tp his direction, 
 and gathering theui promi.stuously inr her jtpron, was descend- 
 ing the stairs, when Mrs. "Wilson, who chanced to spy our 
 bachelor making his exit from the front door, called out 
 "Kate!" . - 
 
 " Yes, marm ! " echoed the customary answer. 
 ' "Cio to Mr. Badger's room and fetch the dress-maker's 
 tcthana i.air." ' ' V ^ ' 
 
Lcrsclf, 
 
 and 
 
 »,' Follies op the, XIX th Century. 119 
 
 << An sure, marm, I cannot pul 'em out klone," answered 
 the ignorant servant in her surprise at the mandate. 
 
 " Do as I bid you j start, and don't be long about it neither." 
 This dictatorial address touched Kate's " /mV' *o^ ^^ 
 charging the contents of her apron in confusion da the stairs, 
 lest they should bo in the way of fulfilling her orders, and 
 flirting back, rummaged the room thoroughly, and returned 
 to report non est— not to be found. Entering the apartment 
 occupied by Mrs. Wilson and her mantuarmaker, on seeing the 
 Jfttter bald and toothless, she exclaimed — 
 
 "An sure, why didn't yx)u tell me you had done it yourseli. 
 I lucked the room all over for her, an yau was pulling her 
 tcelh and hair all out yourself, you was, ma'am." 
 
 " You stupid lout !" said her mistress ; " I told you"-i — - ^ 
 " As he is gone," interrupted Miss Hayer, " you ^ateh for 
 Mr. Badger, and I will run up mysielf and adjust tl^em in his 
 room before any body sees me. And away she flew, with the 
 agility of a panther, making the ascent at half a dozen strides, 
 and on her arrival— consternation and grief! Her beauty 
 had indeed departed ! The alarm given, Mrs. Wilson hastened 
 to her reUef. Every nook and corner, every trunk and 
 drawer was ransacked, but the lost treasures where nowhere to 
 be found. The fruitless search given over, the disappointed 
 
 couple descended again, Mrs. W to feel regret, and Miss 
 
 H. ^bewidowcdof her charms, to lament her sudden and. 
 
 i^QOst sore bereavement. * 
 
 In the meantime Kate had resumed her sweeping, forgetful 
 of the presents, till among the '*odds and ends," covered with 
 dust, and in a "beautiful snarl," she was abotitbrushingliien^; 
 
 
 %• 
 -j?^ 
 
120 
 
 Lucy Bosto 
 
 N 
 
 into the dust-pan; when gathering them up she proseutod - 
 herself before the bereaved mantua-maker, saying, -^ 
 
 ** Misthur Badger come from New York ycstherday, an Isrought 
 you some presenths, he did marm, an bade me gave em to you, 
 an here they be, sure — niee presents them aro; sure." As ■ 
 she emptied her apron into Miss Hager's lap, when lo ! teeth, 
 ' hair, and boxes met the astonished gaze of. the owner. Like 
 the "presenths," Kate vanished. 
 
 With upraised hands, and smiling through her tears, she wel- 
 comed back her departed channs, tboygh presenting a some- 
 what soiled dishahile complexion. Proper applications, however, 
 leadijy restored their original luster, and under the cnchant- 
 li of the toilet, baldness and toothlcssjjcss soon rcffourished. 
 all the freshness andlloom of maiden hetiiity. '' / - 
 Breakfast was announced. The mantu^-maker at fii-st refused, 
 preferring the second table, but.finally yielding to persuasion, 
 followed the Lmdlady, who assured* her thrit none but her hus- 
 band knew "any thing about 'who it was, dnd he wc^uldn't tell.'^ 
 Amaziah, too, would have preferred absence to .his breakfast, 
 but wisely concluding the best way would be to meet the 
 emergency boldly, his courage got the mastery, and he fiiarehed 
 •straight forward, yet hardly able to cpnceal a faltering step. 
 All werejwatedj the landlord "doing the honors of the table." . 
 The bonders- cast significant glances at each other, and evi- 4^ 
 
 dently, with difficulty, restrained their risibili|ies. Mrs. W 
 
 thiHking-to display great generalship, and cover the retreat of j^- 
 the discomfited parties, hit upon the plan of an introduction, ' 
 intending by tjje very boldness of the manoeuvre to come a feme, 
 on the pnnuers and ^ecoy them into the belief that there was 
 
 
«.^>v^. 
 
 I 
 
 presented 
 
 \ 
 
 OLLIES 
 
 F THE KIXtii Century 
 
 121 
 
 1 brought 
 
 
 a to you, 
 
 
 •e." As . 
 
 
 )! teeth, 
 
 
 r. Like ^ 
 
 •«' 
 
 she wel- ' • 
 
 — ^^^-^ 
 
 ; a somc- 
 
 f ' 
 
 lowever, 
 
 
 enchant- / 
 
 
 ourished. . 
 
 ■* ■ , 
 
 r^sed, ■''.'_ 
 
 ■<<': ■ 
 
 suasion, - £- 
 
 • - 
 
 ler hus- , 
 
 / 
 
 I'ttell.': 
 
 
 eakfast, 
 
 -.■"", ' ■" 
 
 leet the 
 
 
 narched 
 
 r 
 
 
 g step. 
 
 'X- •.;_ 
 
 table." - 
 
 ,- 
 
 md evi- ^ 
 W 
 
 reat of # :^\ 
 
 - - '5 
 
 ■ ■■ i 
 
 uction, ' 
 a feme. 
 
 
 sre was 
 
 
 .neither "game" nor booty; in/othet wprds, to scparato in tho^ 
 luinds of the boarders all ciioection between the two leadinr^ 
 actors of the last night's scene. This, it must bo confessed, 
 was the part of benevolence j but whether it displayed equal 
 wisdo'ra, is at least questionablgr Be that as it may, iier course 
 was taken j and fortunately, the position of the parties, sittmg 
 directly opposite each other, favored the design. 
 
 " Mr. Badger," said Mrs. W , assuming aii unnatural 
 
 gravity in attempting to be simply serious, thus pointing an J' 
 touching ofif the very guns she intended to spike, — "allow me 
 the pleasure, sir, of making you acquainted with my friend 
 
 Miss Hagcr." 
 
 "1 guess they're in a fair way to get pretty well acquainted, 
 wife," remarked Wilson, significantly. *A 8uppresse4. tittering; 
 went round the table. No one dare look up, foi^ fear of an 
 explosion. The dress-maker's face rivaled the blushing rose. 
 Badger looked dead blank. :/^^ttKi: 
 
 « Miss Hager, how is your appetite this imoming?" asked 
 Wilson, with comic sobriety, and without waiting for a reply 
 ijCTvcd her very bountifully. 
 
 "And now, friend Badger, I know what you want'. * A good 
 .night's sleep has whet your appetite sharp — I can tell by your 
 looks. I may be mistaken though, for ' misfaJces do happen in- 
 the best of families,' don't they wife?" * There was manifestly 
 a" covelt meaning in all ! this, not understood except by -those 
 initiated. The corner of Wilson's eye and the muscles of his 
 mouth indicated more' than, his words conveyed. All were 
 sensible tliere ^Vas something " in the wind " which had hot 
 been b^own tft them yet. But in the a)jsence of more definite 
 , ^ 11 ^ • , ^ - .' 
 
 f 
 
 .IIU 
 
 ■'^: 
 
i 
 
 :t 
 
 ucY Boston 
 
 ; 
 
 knowledge, sbnie id silence aflFccted a very knowing Idok, whiI<J /*. 
 others in merciless sport demanded of the old Bach., if he wais 
 nccustonicd to catch the nightmare and, old Putnam-like, ride 
 down stairs? He was "cornered," and though riiddled with 
 . shot, stood the charge bravely, which- fortunately diverted the 
 attack from the less courageous ^victim o,n the opposite side. 
 It is fruitless to attempt a full ^d^criptiun ftf the scene, but it 
 may safely be said, that no one of the riumhercontracted the 
 dyspepsia that morning, wilcss it be Amaziah and the dress- 
 maker. . " - 
 
 " Well, Badger," said Wjlson, after breakfast, byway of re- 
 lief to the poor fellow, "you've had a pretty hard siege since 
 yout return from the city. Suppo.se we take a ride into the 
 country? A little airing will do_^u good — I guess the wo 
 inen can spare us tcT-day." ' ^ ^ 
 
 ^Badger gladly accepted. With whip " and spur, they wen 
 Boon under way> * 
 
 m. 
 
 :S- 
 
 M 
 
v.. 
 
 ;:' I- 
 
 ildok, whiI<J >v 
 h., if he wais 
 im-like, rido 
 ijddlcd with 
 iivcrtfid the 
 )p6site side, 
 iceuc, but it 
 itracted the 
 the drcss- 
 
 j way of re- 
 siege since 
 ie into the 
 jss the wo 
 
 they wen 
 
 e 
 
 :5- 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 " 8ho bi'ggfld that phlloiophic spirit, 
 Which Fame allowBil, him to Inherit, ^ 
 To fix and suttlo her opinion 
 As to iU rights and its domlnion.t' 
 
 " I can call Bpirlts from tho vasty deep." 
 " Why, so can I, or ao can any man : 
 But will they Qouje when you do call them? " 
 
 T 
 
 HE reader will recollect that we left Miss Boston at Pough- 
 kecpsie. She drew a large audience and created a favora- 
 ble iiupression. Having also delivered lectures in Hudson, AJ- 
 bauy, and Schenectady, she returned in health and spirits. 
 ITcr advent was quickly heralded through the town. Soon 
 Mrs. Hudson, an intimate and believing friend, was announced, 
 who upon hearing the report of the convention, lectures, &c., 
 which Miss B-^^ had attended, proceeded to narrate the 
 evcnts'whieh had transpired at home, in her absence. 
 
 It is proper to refnark, that previous to Miss Boston's do- 
 ^attme,'^ SjiirititaUtm'' had made its appearance in the 
 neighborhood. Several meetings had been held and *" demon- 
 stvatinns" received, rcj^ulting in the institution of "circles," 
 :is tiiey termed them, moaning, probably, the unfon of the visi- 
 ble a U||^ invisible worldvS, thus constituting the great magnetic 
 cvcle, and hence the fitness Qf the appellation. However, 
 they were not as yet so thoroughly organized, or the con^eo- 
 
 (123) 
 
i 
 
 
 '-■/■ 
 
 124 
 
 LUOY lioSTON, 
 
 tion \?as not so perfectly formed us always to secure the advent 
 of the spirits. Sometimes they*wcrc favored with "demon- 
 strations," but were not entirely satisfied as to their genuine- 
 ncss. A rap wa^ heard on the side of the house, but miglit 
 it not be occasioned by the wind which at the time was blow- 
 ing a gale. Occasionally there were palpable indications of 
 the presence of '* spirits," but then they could not be recalled, 
 and this gave rise to no small variety of rhetorfc and logt'c, w- 
 sulting in an equal variety of opinions. 
 
 However, the "circle" was in its incipieney, jind its re- 
 peated failures could easily be accounted for, in various ways 
 • — a misunderstanding between the .spiritualists and the spirits 
 — aii absence or obstruction of inter-sphericail-communieation^ — 
 a want of ability or disposition "on the part "of the ghosts — 
 these, and sundry Other eonsi'derations mundane, and supor- 
 mundane^ were sufficient to hava banished perplexity from the- 
 minds of the believers, reconciled their discrepancies and 
 silenced the skeptics, yet was there doubt, anxiety, and rank 
 unbelief . But during the absence of Miss Boston, new light 
 had burst upon the. benighted community, in relation to the 
 mysterious rappings. A lecturer, one of the new lights of 
 this extraordinary nineteenth century, made his appearance, 
 and promised for two shillings a head to reveal the secret of 
 calling- spirits from the "vasty deep," alleging his ability to 
 make thom come to any spot, day or night, in sunshine or in 
 storm. This indeed wasKStrangc. But what was passin*' 
 strange, tlioy would do any thing at his bidding, that spec- 
 tators might desire, affording tlicm profit and' amusement to 
 amount, in kind and decree. I 
 
 ^ny 
 
 Bquired, they would set 
 
 -■.1 
 
- 'k\ 
 
 he advent 
 " demon- 
 r genuinc- 
 )ut migiit 
 was blow- 
 sations of 
 e recalled, 
 i loffiCf r<»- 
 
 nd its rc- 
 •ious ways 
 the spirits 
 nieation— 
 
 ghosts — 
 md supor- 
 y from tho- 
 ncies and 
 , and rank 
 new light 
 ion to the 
 
 lights of 
 ppearance, 
 
 secret of 
 
 ability to 
 hine or in 
 iS passing 
 that spoc-' 
 sement to 
 
 would set 
 
 FoLLjEsbi" THE XIX Til Century. 125 
 
 tho tabids dancing-rtcach Writing — mathematics — languages 
 —geography — in shorty all the arts and sciences, not only of 
 this " mupdauQ sphere/^ but even communicate by signs and 
 hieroglyphics, which ho would interpret, the geology, geogra- 
 phy, topography, zoology, paleontology, with all other ologies; 
 not only the complete "natural history, -but the social, civil, po- 
 litical and ecclesiastical constitution and developments of tho 
 seven anti-mundane or spiritual spheres. 
 
 " lie told," said Mrs. Hudson, " wherein we had not worked 
 it right — that wo had at times almost hoard the raps, but not 
 knowing the secret sifj/n, were unable to succeed. One evening ^ 
 which he spent with us, we invited in some friends, and the thing 
 being noised abroad, the room was full. We afterwards held 
 a very large meeting, which produced a wonderful stir." 
 
 " It would havo given me much satisfaction to be present," 
 
 remarked Miss B , with fixed attention and thoughtful 
 
 countentince. " Did any spirits but those of human beings 
 
 appear?" 
 
 " We had no 'manifestations* from any others." 
 
 "Did he express any opinion in his lectures on that partic- 
 ular point?" . ;*w 
 
 "I think not — — Yes 'li^>i*dft(>P, say something about 
 
 calling spirits from the *vas/y cZeep.' " 
 
 " Did you understand him that he Jiad donie, oy that he 
 could do sd| In other words, did he speak of his experience 
 or his theory? I feel scJme little interest on that subject." 
 
 " I do not remena^ber ckactly about that, but we are to have 
 a ' circle* at,pur house thfe evening, at seven o'clock prease?^. 
 Ho tiaid w e must be ve r y exact in tho ap p ointmen t , and punc" 
 
 ->j 
 
 .X 
 
120 
 
 Ll'«jV ljii«TO.N, 
 
 tual to a second, or it miglit maku a tliffercnc&. I hope you 
 . won't fail to como, anj wo will a»ccrfain how tuany kinds of 
 tipirits there aVo. Wo had a circle last evining, and tho 
 spirits told us they would bo present to-night. I have bccomo 
 so deeply interested in tho subject, that I can scarccfly attend 
 to any thing else. Mr. Hudson, too, is all absorbed in it, and 
 so is neighbour Taburg. Their business is hakly thought of. 
 Tho lecturer took up his abodo at ouir house, and gave njo 
 some lessons in private. O, he is a poffect lovo of a man ! 
 Now you will oome. Miss Boston, won't ^ou? Don't, for the 
 world, disappoint us. -.... I, 
 
 " I will endeavor to be there." 
 
 " And you must be sure to come, just at the time precisely. 
 Should you iTappen to be a minute, or even a second, too late, 
 it might keep the spirits away and spoil the circle." 
 
 "I will try to be punctual," said Miss B , as Mrs. 
 
 H-; departed, highly elated in anticipation of the inter- 
 view, and surcharged with nervous excitement, though a very 
 worthy lady, by the way — honest, sincere, and well disposed,- 
 but one easily led by stronger minds to do riot only what wps 
 ^ right, but possibly the reverse. ' . 
 
 Miss Boston was one of tho rdtaarkable women — intellectual, 
 calm, reflecting, determined: she could not easily be jostled 
 er turned aside from the onward and " even tenor of her way^." 
 She was never "subject to j^/s." . . 
 
 .. The hour arrived. The "circle,** consisting of a'dozejK. 
 members and the spectators, were assembled. A large table in 
 the center of the room, and tho requisite number of chairsV 
 
 were placed in order about it. Mrs. Hudson selected as "me- 
 
'^'' 
 
 :«■ 
 
 I hope you 
 / kinds of 
 ;, and tho 
 ivo become 
 cciy attend 
 1 in it, and 
 bought of. 
 d gave njo 
 of a man ! 
 j't, for the 
 
 3 precisely. 
 i, too late, 
 
 -, as Mrs. 
 ' iho inter- 
 i/gh a very 
 1 disposed,' 
 f what wj»3 
 
 ntellectual, 
 
 be jostled 
 
 ["her way." 
 
 f a 'dozeij , 
 ge table in 
 • of chairsV 
 
 FoLjkiES 6v THE XIXtii Ckntitry. 127 
 
 dium" for tho evening, they at once ranged themselves around 
 the table. Joining hands, Mrs, Hudson gave dirtctions for alk, 
 to be perfectly still and passive until some spirit Should mani- 
 fest itself, which she was conBJcnt, if they had made no mis- 
 take, would bo in a short time. 
 
 Fifteen minutes silently Qlapsed wilhout a demonstration, 
 when Mrs. II-. — inquired if they were proceeding" accord- 
 ding to rule. * . . ^ 
 
 'In regly, 3Ir. T thought they M'cro, but something was 
 
 wrong — he would see if the door was locVcd, as the lecturer 
 taught them there could be no ' manifestations ' without closed 
 doors. Careful scrutiny discovered it to be i^artly locked, a 
 phenomenon quite axplanatory of their failurd ! The spirits 
 are shy of q/jt'u f7oors .^ ' " 
 
 Again the ring, in othet\word3 the "circle," unitedJiands 
 fifteen minutes longer, but wim likoy^esult, when the indefati- 
 gable mediums went into a generalyfepcculation upon the proba- 
 ble causes of their disappointment. At last it occurred to a 
 young lady, that the lecturer had said, or she thought he said, that 
 the lamp must not be on the table ; doubtless for the reason 
 that, the spirits" being unaccustomed tor candle-light, it would 
 naturally hurt their visual organs, and perhaps^roduce inflam- 
 mation'. This , obstruction removed, the *>/iug" connected 
 -palms a|^in, and ciiargiug the battery of their spiritual telo- 
 'graph,' transmitted dispatches for the immediate advent of tho 
 celestials^,, but no answer was returned. What cw<?(? be the 
 difficulty ? Either the consolidation of the " meclium " forces 
 was not sufficiently potent', or the spirits were away on a jout- 
 
 id as " me- 
 
 ney or pre-occupied at some other "circle," or — "—something 
 
f 
 
 r 
 
 t 
 
 I 
 
 I i 
 
 * 
 
 128 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 olso. As to the mermaid, we would vcuture a suggestion, that 
 
 sbo was busy arranging her evening debut, that is to say, she 
 
 was " not at homo." At all events there was a " screw loose," 
 
 IB' 
 or a screw wanting somewhere. 
 
 Upon a thorough canvass of all the causes, possible ond 
 probable* of their abortive .efforts, they agreed in ascribing the 
 difficulty to the astounding fact that the table wascomposoU of 
 pine. Grout was their chagrin at such^n oversight. "What 
 inattention, what unaccountable obtuseness, to forget that they 
 were living in the advanced ago of civilization, thu palniy 
 days of evangelical taste and refinement, when the private 
 mansion, (ho hotel, the theater and the church, rivaled each 
 other in the costlsncss of their structure, the grandness of 
 
 ^ their architecture, and the artistic richness and beauty of thcir*^ 
 appendages. And should not the " spheres " be at least equally ^ 
 progressive ? Should they be any less transcendental in the 
 , exquisitenesa of taste, style, and manners ? f ' 
 
 The pine table" was therefore replaced by one of rosewood, 
 the spirits disclaiming to use furniture of a. material more 
 vulgar or common-place. But lo ! the rosewood was as P^voi- 
 less as the pine. Not a ghost broke the silence. 
 
 Thus completely foiled, the "circle " vfUs forced to confeis 
 their failure ; yet, instcafl of giving place to unbelief, their faith 
 increased to enthusiasm, and each resolving to find out the 
 binderance, they dispersed without the slightest intimation as 
 
 - to when or where, or how, the spirits would vouchsafe to them 
 
 ■. an interview;'. '■■ - ■".•'•.■ ^5?^^ ■'- ||:. 
 
 The day following was one of busy excitement among the 
 
 — « rappers." Multifarious were the solutious invented to clear 
 
 -^- ■-! 
 
 -1- 
 
 v 
 
 tM. 
 
Follies of thk XIX 
 
 Til ClNTUEY. 120 
 
 jcstion, that 
 
 to any, slio 
 
 crew loose," 
 
 tossiblo and 
 scribing tlio 
 L'omposod of 
 ght. AVlmt 
 ;ct that they 
 , Jhc palmy 
 the piivato 
 rivaled each 
 rundness of 
 lutyof their, 
 least equally 
 cutal in the 
 
 of rosewood, 
 itptial niors' 
 '&& tts power - 
 
 d to confeis 
 ef, their faith 
 find out the 
 ntimation as 
 isafc to them 
 
 b among the 
 ntcd to clear 
 
 I 
 
 up the mystery of their defeat, but neither of which leemed 
 altogether siitisfactory. 
 
 As a last resort, Mr. Hudson was consulted in regard to the 
 expediency of procuring the attendance of the lecturer to set 
 things right again. The expense, however great, was of no ac- 
 count, if he would but hasten to their relief. Miss Boston, 
 favored with frequent calls, was plied with numerous que^tiont 
 in relation to the r'apAcsa spirits, but WM not very oommuni- 
 ■00l^- iliosaid little and thought much. In an interview 
 with Mr. Hudson, she was particular to interrogate him aa to 
 the character and whereabouts of the lecturer. Our heroine 
 was soon missing. Her silent departure occasioned various 
 conjectures, but the prevalent opinion was, that she had gone 
 on a lecturing "tour. ^ i 
 
 The "circle," in the raeautime, continued to assemble pri^ 
 vatcly, in sections of two or three, but failed of obtaining any 
 " manifestations.'* * 
 
 Miss Boston went in pursuit of the lecturer-not that she 
 was particularly a believer in him j her object was light, gtrik- 
 '"g J?!s trail, she overtook him at a certain small vilUige in 
 central New Ydrk, where ho had given several lectures, and 
 with eminent success. Large audiences — ignoble and town- 
 elite— crowded around him, and all ranks of spirits awaited his 
 bidding. The object of general attraction, and idolized by his 
 followers, he commanded princely wages for his invaluable in- 
 structions. 
 
 ^Miss B— took lodgings at the Hotel. The succeeding 
 day she spent in exploring the romantic little village and its 
 suburbs, remaining jncoff., and concealing the real object of 
 
 
 
 t 
 
!| 
 
 f 
 
 .130 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 *c 
 
 her visit. Making the acquaintance of the-lat)dlady, she gained 
 from her a history of the prevailing excitement in the circle 
 there, and learned the names of the most prominent actors. 
 While thus engaged in conversation, tho^landlady pointed her 
 to the lecturer, entering a store on the opposite side of the 
 way. Miss Boston, after the fashion of young ladies in general , 
 making if convenient just then, to call at the store for some 
 triflino- article, which^he knew or hoped iln'y did not Jiave, 
 found a numhdr dis^juslmg thd prevailing subject, with mutual 
 congratulations upon .their success, ancl speculating on what 
 strange things would be revealed in the evening. Miss 
 
 B 's ears were erect, Vhilo examining the articles which 
 
 did "no< suit" as long as propriety would allow, when with 
 dignified modesty, she ventured two or three incidental re- 
 marks, hoping, she said, tl^at they would not deem her imper- 
 tinent apd bold, but she was anxious to be informed on the 
 subject in which they appeared to be so deeply engrossed — she 
 had heard much respecting it, aud had long desired to see some 
 master of the science, who could 'give satisfactory evitlence in 
 
 its support. ' (f ^^- 
 
 At once pointing to the lecturer they declared he was ju¥t 
 the man j he could do it up "brown," if she would attend the 
 "circle" in the evening, which would meet at a cottage half 
 a mile from the village. They were positive that every thing 
 would be-demonstrated to her complete gratification, for a large 
 
 - number of spirits were engaged to be " on hand," and no mis- 
 
 ■ take but they would be. - 
 
 Why, amid such general interest, they should assemble in a 
 little obscure cottage, seemed somewhat singular, but then 
 
'*'«a 
 
 ■'t ¥0Lh IKS O F T 11 E X 1 X T U C E N T U ft Y 
 
 131 
 
 he gaiQed 
 the circle 
 nt actors, 
 linted her 
 da of the 
 n general, 
 for some 
 not have J 
 th mutual 
 ; on what 
 ig. Miss 
 elcs tvhich 
 vhcn with 
 [dental rc-\ 
 her impcr- 
 led on the 
 3ssed — she 
 to see some 
 ivitlence in 
 
 e was just 
 attend the 
 3ttage half 
 jvery thing 
 , for a large 
 ,nd no mis- 
 
 lemble in a 
 , but then 
 
 ■V' 
 
 « 
 
 these spirits like all other folks have their caprices, and like 
 them they will be gratified, or become refractory. 
 
 Miss 13 ^, wishing to make the most of her mission, re- 
 quested a private interview with the lecturer at her room, 
 which being readily granted, they were soon in close conver- 
 sation on the all-absorbing topic. Like a philosopher, she 
 scanned his experience with the keenest scrutiny, and 
 sounded his knowledge to the bottom. She found him vision- 
 ary, enthusiastic, self-confident, and all-wise, claiming to be 
 sole master of the spirit land. He did not therefore command 
 her special respect, as a man of mind, of reason, and judg- 
 ment. Yet had she the sagacity to discover that his whole 
 soul was in the subject, and concluding that if in reality he 
 had the knowledge and control of spirits, asserted by him, it 
 nmst arise froj^j his temperament rather than his wisdom, and 
 as the whole science was mysterious, it might perhaps bo "in 
 keeping with the mystery, and also with philosophy, that ttioso 
 of his constitutional class should furnish the principal "me- 
 diums," like the fishermen pf Galilee, obscure, unlearned, sim- 
 ple-minded, but the chosen heralds of the new faith. 
 
 She learned that, among other places, he^had lectured with 
 
 pplendid success at the village of C (her place of residence), 
 
 and organized a "circle" there, which he was assured bid 
 fair to be the very finest established. The good cause, he said, 
 was rapidly advancing there and the people were exceedingly 
 anxious to have him return, which he intended to do, as soon 
 as his pressing engagements would permit. Sufficiently enter- 
 tained with his superlative rodonlontade, she questioned him : "^ 
 
 " Do you believe, sir, that the channel of communication be- 
 
■ *?i(' . 
 
 132 
 
 Lucy Boston, 
 
 
 tween the ^^sible and the invisible worlds, is entirely perfected, 
 as to its agency and method ? " 
 
 " Certainly I do, 1 have no doubt of it — I know it, for the 
 spirits have told me so." "^ 
 
 ." Have you had any * demonstration' from other than human 
 spirits ?" 
 
 "No, because I have never called any other." 
 
 "If there are other spirits besides human and angelic, can 
 you hold intercourse with them ?" ; ; : ' 
 
 " Of course I can. I have one prime spirit at my command 
 which has fre€ access to all the spheres, having a pass to go and 
 come at any moment, as my agent, carrying back and forth 
 any information I choose." 
 
 * "You can obtain any intelligence you wish, at any mo- 
 ■ mentV ^ .]' .-\ • 
 
 "Most certainly I can." ■^ 
 
 " Will you then, sir, for my satisfaction, be s6 kind as to 
 inform me nowj whether or not your general agent, as you call 
 it, is the spirit of a male or female ?" 
 
 * - " 
 
 "I will answer you in five minutes : you remain perfectly 
 passive," said he, with an air of the utmost confidence, when 
 taking off his hat and buttoning up his coat, ^e placed his 
 hands upon the stand, closed his eyes, crossed his legs; instantly 
 a rap was heard: "the spirit is present," said he, "you may 
 ask it any question you like. One rap or one tip of the table, 
 means no ;' three raps or three tips, yes" 
 
 Miss Boston's face prospectively brigtitened, and she put the 
 interrogatory direct. .« 
 
 " Are you th« spirit of a male er female?*^ ? 
 
 t 
 
 y^ 
 
 m.- 
 
 i& 
 
 
 .*----■ 
 
fectpd, 
 or the 
 human 
 
 10, can 
 
 iminnd 
 go nnd 
 I forth 
 
 ly mo- 
 
 f 
 
 I as to 
 
 
 ou call 
 
 ■ V 
 
 srfectly 
 , when 
 
 
 ;ed his 
 
 '$ 
 
 stantly 
 
 ■I 
 
 u tnay 
 e table. '^ 
 
 ^-:i 
 
 jutthe ' 
 
 FoLLiKS OF Tiifi XIXtii Centuiiy. 133 
 
 No rap. ->' ' ■ ■' ■ . 
 
 , She repeated the question, but the ghost was mule. 
 
 "I should be extremely gratified, sir, td learn 'whether the 
 spirit you have called, belongs to the masculine or feminine 
 gender?" * 
 
 " It is pot &fs^ for you .to know j<ozt?," he replied. "The 
 spirits do sometimes refu!?e torap when it'svimpl'oper^ or inex- 
 pedient. I will inquircvif it is proper for^i^M to know what 
 you ask for. Shall I tell?" asked hejKjjM spirits, mentally. 
 
 One tremendous rap. ° ' * 
 
 " Really, I can sec no impropriety in my interrogatory," 
 
 said Miss B . " I anl a sincere inquirer, and adtiiat^cj-by the 
 
 purest motives. An answer would affo^ me, much pleasure,, 
 and jt might greatly conduct to the benefit of the human race." 
 
 " The spirit would not refuse to answer- me, if I should ^ress 
 it J but then it knows what is best, and don't like to be urged. 
 Ask any thing else, and yoji shall have an answer." 
 
 " Will the spirit communicate with me ?" said Miss B ■ .. 
 
 Bap^ rap, rap, in the aflBrmative. 
 
 "Are the 'spheres' inhabited by any but human and angelic 
 spirits?" . . . > '• 
 
 No reply. ' ;^ 
 
 " The spirit is with w^e," interrupted tlie lecturer — • hia 
 fingers at the same instant beginning to twitch ; " the spirit is 
 with me and want's to write." 
 
 Miss Boston placed before him note-book and pencil, wliich 
 as the amanuensis of the spirits, he took and wfote, ^i 
 
 " That man with you muslt not know my gender at this, 
 time." *" ' ' ■ 
 
 I2 ~ ^ 
 
# 
 
 
 77 
 
 M.- 
 
 134 
 
 Lucy" Boston . 
 
 ■ . "Ask the spirit'to wliich sexf I bclbng," said Miss B •. 
 
 He did SO, but received no'response. . »\ 
 
 " There's sbmetlfiTig w^oug iu j-ou or your questions," said 
 
 ^ the medium> " I'll comnmnicute alotie and find, out what ypn' 
 
 . want to know, and if not forbidj will tell you all about it. I 
 
 must beg to be pscused now, for th*e 'cirde' are waiting 
 
 ,^ for me, and as t^iey^ have given up their - vocations and ara , 
 
 ^ paying me large wages, the spirits direct to meet them immc- 
 ' diately. I hoj)e, contitiue4 he, you'll rac6t >with us- to-iji^ht."" ■ 
 " Will you be able, sir, to afford me any light, at the * circle '' ' 
 ,, oh the questions I have propounded?'^ • , 
 
 "I guess not, this evening," said h(\, " as I have- ^o inany' 
 spirits pro'misedy^nd they'll be disappointed noi to be called." 
 " Can you ol^tain a promise, sir, in my^ behalf for to-morrow. 
 
 ^mght?"^^- ^/■;-^'-":-- ■"':;■■: :■ ■■':-\:r ■ ■.*■■■-'■' 
 
 - • " The spirits, ma'am, inform me that4 must go a' obce ; but 
 
 • ? ^ * _ •> ' r • / .• 
 
 that I may see you iifcre again at three o'clock this afternoon^ 
 
 I: 
 
 ■V 
 
 if you wish me to?' , * ♦, , . - 
 
 "Very well, §ir, I shall be happy to see you." '' 
 Jlisg B— 5— was alone. "In what fathomless mystery are si 
 these things involved," said she to herself, settling ftito a state 
 of profound thought. Tlie more she reasoned, and the' deeper 
 her contemplation, the stronger grew her conviction, that „ the ' 
 obscurity wouldi be cleared up, and that this controlling spirit 
 alluded to by the lecturer would prove to be none other than 
 
 the spirit of-the mermaid. 
 
 " Her meditations were interrupted by the return of the lee- -^ 
 turer, who, according to appoititment, entered a,t»^the exact 
 minute. "- ■.-. ^'-v,-;;; ;■■•■/ "^>.- _;^^ . .;, m. ■-s;' . ■-••;; 
 
 
 ' . ■ .,,,"-■ . ■ .n\, 
 
•:!#*. 
 
 B- 
 
 * ^v 
 
 IS," said 
 rhat y/iu° 
 t it. I 
 waiting 
 and arQ , 
 t rinmc- 
 
 -nigiit."- - 
 
 * circle* ' 
 
 inanyV 
 
 called." 
 •morrow. 
 
 IC&; but 
 tcrnooni 
 
 tery are ^/ 
 > a state 
 )* deeper 
 hat the ' 
 g spirit 
 ler than 
 
 the lee- -^ 
 le exact 
 
 :"i 
 
 ■V 
 
 .W^^ 
 
 
 
 \ 
 
 ^. Fo^jiLiEs OP Ti^E XIXjp^ Century* 135 
 
 <f You are very puiictual, sir?Vsaid MisbB ^ . . > ; 
 "Yes, I never carry anj time-^iew. The spirits are ifaj 
 chroipometer." ', " ' i', 
 
 "Be seated, sir, if you please." He complied^ wh^T^ she 
 continued — ^^*Pi6rmit me,^ sir, to say fram^y, thai'my '|>urpose 
 in coming to this plac^ was to make your acquaintance, and 
 consult you uponr a Mat ter. of, great importance. I am an ad- . 
 \ocate of'woman's ri]gfits,*and JOt^believer in 'spiritual inter- 
 course,' th&two grWdiest themes of the age, fraught as they 
 are with Ihe destS^y^f the wo|ld. ." ^d:,now to come directly' 
 t.Q the obje«i of ji^y visit, Ij^fs^. you to inform ^jiie, if in'your 
 
 •power, whether or' uot fhfere is such a basing as the spirit of » 
 Mtjriuaijv in either of the, B6ven Spheres \ and if jthere be, 
 whether I pan have aii in^ervrei;^ with it? To tfeU yoU the 
 
 • truth,v sif, 1 have |iict a person t- who, orrwhat ngis, (w'where 
 his residence^ I knoWr.nbt — to whom a being purporting to be 
 
 ' thespirit of a Hermaid has twice appeared and uttered a 
 jxrophecy,,to the effect that thp cause with which lam identified 
 will soon prevail. If true, as he relates of all supematurll 
 rcvektidns next to the sacred volume, it is pre-emi&ently the 
 "most important. No'W if Such" a spirit really exiats, can you 
 not learn the £ict and hold iptercourse with it ?" ' ' « 
 
 " Of course I can — :of f^rsel pan; there is nothing in all the 
 
 ♦Spheres liepit froia m"^" excla|med'he, with pompous emphasis. 
 
 " Pray, sir, jinstructi me in this science of spiritolo^, that J 
 
 may beconae an adept in it like yourself.'^ ' ? , , 
 
 •• J! Certainly, xcertaliijm|-r have no pbjecfioaif the spirits 
 
 ' thmlc it 'jaropef; I will ask thern aitihe ^ eircle ' to-night. At 
 «n^*yate, I can easily le&yn for myself, if there is such a spirit 
 
 '> 
 
 
 -7: 
 
 
 
 ~7S- 
 
 ■4'- 
 
•"i'^tl'^-^fti^l^ ^ ^ 
 
 .-■- :■ ■ 4^^ :^ 
 
 y 
 
 ■ •■ l . 
 
 rl'-^ 
 
 186 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 as you fipeak of, and I can talk with it/ hut it roaj refuse com- 
 munication with' any cyie .else, and forbid my telling what ifc 
 
 reveals to me." 
 
 "If there w a Mermaid spirit," persisted she, "it has ap- 
 peared twice to mortal eyes j and if I can but bo satisfied of its 
 exittence, it will afford me, great relief." 
 —--- " well,* I'll tell you <Aa< inuch most any time." 
 
 "And will you become my preceptor in this mystic aft? I 
 am anxious to become a scholar/' * 
 /J *^1 will advise with the spirits as to that, and let you know," 
 
 ymdhe. ■":':.:■ ,'.:.■:■■. ■■';■' "■?"^:'-' ■'''-• -.v 
 
 ^ Assuming the spiritually communicative or interlocutory 
 posture for a short time, he opened his eyes and annoiHISilPVbat 
 he would give her lessons, telling hef, howevefj, he was so pre- 
 occupied, that it was impossible for him to attend tb her case 
 then, but at bis earliest conveoienee he would gladly spend a 
 few days at her residence, when he would teach, her the whole 
 secret, and no doubt she would become as perfect a Medium 
 
 ashimselfl 1[ 
 
 She remarked that her chief anxidty was to kiiow if thtre 
 was such a spirit as she had described, and if no light could oe 
 shed upon that point at the " circle," perhaps she had better not 
 attend, as her presi^nce might be an impediment to their success, 
 f^, "There is not the least danger of that,^' said he, "as the 
 spirits have promised to come, and theyOever disappoint me; 
 besides, I have just received intelligence from the seventh Sphere, 
 that it is decidedly lest f of you to be present." | 
 
 " How long do you think, sir, it will require for me perfectly 
 to master the gci e nc e of Spirit - oalling ?" — . . . . — — — 
 
 -^.1 
 
 • ■It 
 
 
 ^ r 
 
 
 >.' 
 
FO LLI E »" OF •!' II E X I X T 11 t' E N T L R Y . 137 
 
 ;/ 
 
 "^■1 
 
 
 
 «0, not long, an apt scholar will do it very quick." , 
 S « Can ypu not then, sir, meet mo hero to-morrow morning 
 and give mo the introductory lesson ?" 
 
 " "I hardly know what to say, ma'am ; I'll ask the spirits" — 
 whereupo^ closing his eyes, and moving his lips a moment, he 
 announced that he would comply with her request and meet 
 
 :^her fit nine o^clock^ adding that she had better attend the 
 "circle" in the evening, which she protnised to do. 
 ' Evening canaa She ibund her way to the cottage— she 
 found ber way into tlie room, and found herself a sdat. Prob- 
 ^ably the "rappers" trice localities and form acquaintances 
 magnetically, and hence no need of difectpries or guide-boards, 
 and wherever there is the homogeneous state, or .magnetic con- 
 geniality of pure '( spirihinlism," it generates a consciousness, 
 at once mutual and nU-peivaditfg, like the equalized polarity of 
 the particle^ of the load-^tonet In such cases, there is an in- 
 tuitive recognition .and equilibrium of thought between the^ 
 individuals ; but where, in eithq Jr all of the parties', there is 
 wanting a psychological afinityilfn the spiritual sense, percep- 
 tion is obscure, and a mutual ac(|tiaintance cjan only be fanned 
 
 ^ by means of *a formal introdjactibn. Hence the apparent 
 lack of civility to' Miss B^^— . Not jthat the " rappers" were 
 jf'norant or destitu.te of^ true politeness; but feeling heT\io be., 
 a ripe subject for the spiritual influence, they left her to Sub* 
 side spontaneously into essential coincidence with, the unity of 
 
 ; the "circle." ■;; ^ .'|s, ■,;':y''^ ■;: '^:'''-^ :y-[ ■. ''■■:■'■: X'.'\\ " • 
 The room was soon comfortably filled. A geneifal serious- 
 ness predominated. Little was saidf. Everything appeared 
 systematic, doubtless in accordance with the spiritual pro- 
 
 ■#• . 
 
 12*.- 
 
 • J. 
 

 188 • LucYDosT^jjN. 
 
 gramme. No attention was paitl to Misd li^ — ■, who sat in a 
 corner apparently undbservcd. All at lcng,th were gathered 
 around the table, save their invited guest. 
 
 Portentous silence reigned. Our heroine was both anxioua 
 and awe-struck at the solemnity of the scene. What awful 
 thoughts crowded upon her mind ! Spirits from the eternal 
 world returning to the earth and about to hold audible inter- 
 course with mortals I And what spirits ? Some of thorn per- 
 haps her departed friends ! . 
 
 Anon, one of the Mediums dropped his chin upon his 
 breast — prescntljr another, and then a third, and so on, at dif- 
 erent points in the " ring^' indicating the arrival of Iho.spirita, " 
 
 The lecturer, sitting at the head of the table as spiritual 
 moderator, directed ^»<7s to le unloosed, which was instantly 
 done. Going round to those' enjoying a tetc-a-tcte with their _ 
 invisible guests, he made a few "passes," muttered a sort of 
 spiritual hbcus pocus, then pronouncing them ready for com-^ 
 munications, asked — • 
 
 " Are there any spirits present?" 
 
 Great variety of rapping and writing. . 
 
 '," TTJio/ spirits arc. prescxit?" 
 
 Medium A—" instantly, wrote " Goliah, Julius Cofesar, 
 Napoleon Bonaparte, apd Prince Nincompoopowsky." 
 
 Medium B-- — wrote Baron Mon Chausfen, Sato Patchy and 
 Rip Van "Winkle. 
 
 Medium C , a precocious schoolboy, seizing his pen, 
 
 dashed down, in daring roundhand, " Sinbad the Sailor, Ro- 
 binson Crusoe, Old Mother Hubbard, and The Babes in the 
 Woods." *■ -. ^ 
 
 '%k 
 
 ».» 
 
 V 
 
 #^ 
 
 :i\ 
 
 rtr-'. 
 
I 
 
 Follies of the XIXtu CfcNTUny. 139 
 
 tit ID a 
 
 
 f.--- ■■ , 
 
 ithdred 
 
 
 ■ ■■ i 
 
 nxioua 
 
 ' 
 
 1 '■■.;,■■■■ 
 
 b awful 
 
 
 :t/ ; ■■■■• 
 
 eternal 
 
 ■ rti 
 
 * 
 
 ■■1 ■ ■■■'. 
 
 1 inter- ^ 
 
 . L-. 
 
 j. ■/ 
 
 jm per- 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 lon hia 
 atdif- 
 
 r' * ' ■ 
 
 * 
 
 ■ - .*■ - ■ . 
 
 ;spirij;a, * 
 pi^itual 
 
 V 
 
 
 istantly 
 h tbeir 
 
 
 
 sort of 
 
 
 ''*' 
 
 )r com-^ 
 
 ■ 
 
 . » - 
 
 1 ,■ , 
 
 Cofesar, 
 
 ;ch^ and 
 
 lis peu^ 
 
 >r, Ro- 
 
 in the 
 
 Of the ruppii 
 
 bo 
 
 i-fed- 
 
 niuiuius 
 " Is the spirit of John llandolph present ?" 
 No rap/- -^ r ■ / ' 
 
 •"Is the spirit of Henry Clay present?" ..■-'■■ " * 
 
 No rap. 
 
 'f Is the spirit of- Daniel Webster present ?" ' ; 
 
 - No rap; ■■ ■— . -; --;::,:.-; -r^: .. ..l-.^^-:,--^^^. :-_..^ — L 
 " Is the spirit of Dr. Franklin hci-e'?" 
 Three rips. ^ ;' : : • 
 
 " Is the spirit of Geuerar Washington hero 1*^ ' 
 Rap — rap — r^p. ; ' ' ' 
 
 . '" Are the spirits of Adam and Eve present V* • 
 
 The table bowed and courtosied at the same time. At {his ' 
 ppicft the alphabet \yas called, when several rapped out tho 
 names of V Mammon/' " Witch of Endor," "Balaam," and 
 "RcelzebuB:" i'*'^ \ ■ ' • ' 
 
 " Is there any oj,her spiritP present?" asked he. 
 A strong but ^^ntlc rapping in the affipmative,° manifestly 
 by a female spirit. . ' ' < ' - ' * " 
 
 " Is it the spirit of Queen Elizabeth f" - ' 
 One" rap. *^ - - 
 
 " Of Mary, Queen of Scots ?" ; " 
 
 One rap. , . *, ' ■ . 
 
 " Of Pocahontas ? ' ' • • 
 
 One rap. ■ - / 
 
 "Of Jemima Wilkinson?" ' 
 
 One rap. '-. ^ ■;-,■:■-."■';■'.,■. :;V ■..'■■■■.: . 
 
 "Of Queen Dido?' 
 
 ?»i 
 
 One r a p . 
 
 ^^ 
 
 
♦ 
 
 •^ 
 
 ■ »• 
 
 \ 
 
 140. 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 « 0( Piiaraoh's Daughter V « , 
 
 ■Qno. rap, 
 
 "Of Jezebel?" 
 - One spiteful rap. * , 
 
 From this the lecturer went on mentioning name after name, 
 exhausting his entire list of the departed, and to each of which ,, 
 he received a negative answer. Judging, from the last rap, the 
 spirit \iaa evidently enraged to think it could not be called. 
 Miss Boston requested him to ask if it was not the spirit of a 
 Mermaid, which he refused to do, on the ground that ho knew 
 it was not. V 
 
 " Because," said he, " they always tell me in advance when 
 they are coming. Her name has slipped my mind just now, 
 but I will cpnsult my guardian spirit, and find out what one \ 
 it is." Whereupon at his refusal to put the question, the 
 chairs, with the exception .of Miss Boston's, alt flew bottom 
 upwards, spilling their occupants headlong, while the table, 
 walking up in pugilistic style, fetched the lecturer a furious 
 blow under the left peeper, knocking him flat upon thie floor. 
 "0, what a, falling down was there, my countrymen !" 
 
 Miss Boston continued a quiet spectator of the unique de- ^ 
 monstration. Speedily as possible, the prostrate " circle" 
 gathered themselves up, and carrying their wounded leader to % 
 another room, the spirit of Esculapius was ithportunately but 
 vainly invoked to obtain a spiritual prescription. 
 
 The circle of course' was broken up for the evening. Miss 
 Boston left, strongly impressed that if her request had been 
 granted, she would have heard from the spirit of the mermaid. 
 
 1 
 
 
 ■••;!*■ 
 
i 
 
 #■. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 ** The over curioiu are not ortr wlM.*' 
 
 "TrifleD.llgbtualr, 
 Are, to the jMlooa, conflnnationa strong 
 Ai proofs of holy writ." ^ 
 
 ' I "TTriLSON and our bachelor, enjoying the scenery and puro 
 T T » air of the country, reached honao lato in the afternoon. 
 
 ^ ' Nunierou8 werb the calls ht Mr. Badger's room, aid great 
 
 '^ the inquiry made for him during the day, by the prominent 
 
 f portion of the female population, most of whom left their 
 
 cards with urgent requests to sec him as soon as possible after 
 hid return. Brought thus suddenly into notoriety, like many 
 of Fortune's favorites, he was in extensive demand among the 
 ladies, both young and old. This afforded capital stock for a 
 rich investment of Wilson's wit, and industriously did he ini- 
 }j(^ye it, to the extent of his ample capacity and the availa^ 
 bi lily of the market. ^— - 
 
 The mantua-maker had plied her needle with surpiisingdox- 
 torify, and the new dress stitched in detail and basted in the 
 main, wisTust approaching a readiness for ascertaining the " fit." 
 The community, far and near, had been thrown into a par- 
 oxysm of excitement by the ij'sue of the village paper. Exten- 
 sive gatherings had been musteied^i and the awful city of New 
 
 'a ' (141) 
 
 "-#■ 
 
 
142 
 
 Lucy lio8Tu^f. 
 
 York donopnced ond nnathotuatlied by the wholesale. Tbo 
 "Totrabune" and " Seasons," the only "«ty papcre" (a single' 
 fopy of each) taken in the place, had arrived, bringinj^ an 
 account of the great niectinjg in Cho Tabernacle, to the neigh- 
 borhood of readers, but which was not clearly understood by 
 thoffl J nor had they discovered the relation between the n otioo 
 
 that occasioned the excitement, and the convention. Such in 
 general was the posture of affairs. The editor's wife called on 
 ^Ir. Badger in the evening, to gather the "very latest" news 
 for the forth-coming issue of the National BtdUtin. 
 
 The editress, pro (em., was cither feverishly excited, or else 
 propelled by extremo nervous energy", which no doubt was 
 measurably increased on the return of the senior editor — alia.% 
 her husband ; lor, acconling to report, ho had elevated her, or, 
 in common parlance, »' bloweil hor up," for the insertion of her 
 editorial of the preceding wck. lie had «l«o written a 
 " leader," explanatory of the said article, shifting the entire 
 responsibility of it upon his associate editress. 
 
 As before observed, the editor's wife sought friend IJadgor 
 to obtain a fresh, ftill, and authentic description of the *' wo- 
 man's rights" convention, with which to astonish the readers 
 of the National BvUcthi. He favored her with a minute 
 exposition of the whole affair, and alsn of what was shortly 
 coming to pass, and when she would bo installed sole ocCujiant 
 of the editorial chair. 
 
 Astonished and deliohfed, she had passed from Mr. B- 'ft 
 
 to Mrs. Wils »n's room. Sonn the editor himself eallel, and in- 
 quiring for our illiistriouH (.Id bachelor, W'S t'dd by Kate (who 
 
 I 
 .,-1 
 
 ■ * -i 
 
 did n(»t recognize liim) that he was " in his room, for a long 
 
■'# 
 
 
 W 
 
 t' 
 
 
 n 
 
 Vol 
 
 f' 
 
 I 
 
 time, w 
 urgent, 
 chamber- 
 
 OF t II K X I X T tl C; K M U R Y . U» 
 
 jiur'/^wifo.*' UcprcBcnting his bunmesB m 
 
 gupon being whowpd up immJfiatcIy, tho | 
 the way and rapped at the diwfprhich, after 
 a little delay, swung on itrhingew. . - ^ 
 
 " How do you do, Mr. Badger ?" Boidlie typo ; " I hope no 
 intrusion, but you seem to bo alone this evening." 
 
 "Yes, j^st now — walk in, walk in, sir." . 
 
 " A divil a bit is ho alone, sir-— the iditor's wife is there, 
 Burc, an has been iver so long, an faith she ha^, sir," imperti- 
 nently persisted Kate, who overheard tho conversation. 
 
 " Your wife was hero a minute ago, and has just gone home," ;. 
 replied Amoinaht / . 
 
 " That is a mistake, sir^^iavo this moment come from 
 Ihcre; besides, she could nut have made her exit unseen by tho 
 servant. I should Lave felt no surprise, under the circum- 
 stances, to liud my wife here, Mr. Badger j but the fact of her 
 concealment necessarily excites my surprise, if not suspicion. 
 Will you allow me, sir, to survey your apartment ? " 
 
 "Just as leave you would as not, but you won't find 
 .nothiuff." 
 
 He av^>iled himself of tho permission, but there was clcarfy 
 
 an " «//ii " in the case, and the search was suppcnded, when 
 
 Kate, with her native impudence and pertinacity, repeated : 
 
 "An faith, sir, she's there, sure. By my sowl she is, sir." 
 
 Whereupon, with the characteristic sagacity of his class, 
 
 >hose prerogative it is to bring hidden things to light, Mr. 
 
 Printer recommenctnl a more scrutinizing investigation of the 
 
 premises, when, as if with an intuitive perception of the 
 
 X 
 
 M 
 
 v,»» 
 
 •,r 
 
 4 
 
 sources of evidence, he drew forth from its secrecy a nif/htcajy, 
 
144 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 s| 
 
 and holding it up, with an air of triumph, before the eyes of 
 ;the petrified bachelor, demanded, 'f What is this, sir? Can 
 you tcU me the owner ? " 
 
 "It^ipust be the dress-maker's," replied Badger, coloring 
 
 with confusion. 
 
 " The dress-maker's ! What dress-maker ? " 
 " She's sewing foi; Mrs. Wilson.'^ , 
 
 "I'll see about this," said the printer, starting down stairs 
 with th? suspicious article in his hand. Arriving at the ball 
 door, he met Kate, an^ inquired, "Where's the dress-maker?-'' 
 
 " In M?s. Wilson's Tooin, sure, sir." 
 " " Is there any one else there ? " 
 
 "Niver a one but Mrs. Wilson, sure.". 
 Gathering the cap into a wad in bis handj^^and availing him- 
 self of his accusjomed intimacy with the family, he entered 
 with but little CQremony. Not observing his wife, who chanced 
 to befitting partly behind the door, he advanced towards the 
 ill-fated seamstress, and commenced unfolding the unconsci|)U3 
 cause of the- brewing tempest: pis wife springing forward, 
 snatched H from his grasp, spitefully exclaiming : 
 
 " I'll let you know, sir, when I want you to wear my cap !" 
 "Ah ! is that yours, my dear? Perhaps you had better Icx- 
 
 aminc it." ,, ' j. ^ " ■■:']■' 
 
 "It isn't very likely, sir, you'd bap any woman's cap hut 
 
 mine. Let me see tliough (edging towards the window and 
 
 fingering it with great scrutiny) j U sure as. I live it aint 
 
 mine. Now, sir, I'd like to know "who that belongs to j you 
 
 , don't get it again till you tell me,, or I find out how you came 
 
 by it." 
 
 V 
 
 1.- 
 
Follies OF THE XIXth CknturyA 145 
 
 cs- 
 
 *^^o\i say it is not pour's,, my dear, and that is alt that 
 concerns myself. Please hlind it back to me and I ^JlSi^rQ-: 
 turnit." ^. . 
 
 *' Jam not satisfied, sir, if you are. Very far from it. I 
 prefer to return it to the owner myselfy if you will only- tell me 
 ^ho she is. You- can't have it again, at any rate.'' 
 
 ''Really I think there is something very suspiciotu about 
 this matter," said Mrs. W — —. ^^ .: i 
 
 "So do I think so, too," skid the printer's wife. K 
 
 "And so do I," chimed in' the mantua-maker. 
 
 "Now, whose cap is this?" demanded Mrs. Printer of her 
 senior partner. I'll find out if I have to advertise it in the 
 paper; that I will." - 
 
 " You will not advertise it in the paper, my dear," re- 
 torted he. 
 
 "I say I will." 
 i " I say you will not." 
 
 "I would — ^solhere — if I was in your place," said Mrs. 
 Wilson.'^ ' ' ' ' r 
 
 " So woufd I," reiterated Miss Hager.' 
 
 " 0, but I should like to see the owner of that thing, though,*^ 
 said the printer's wife, her <ye« and tone giving momcntuim io 
 the words. 
 
 " Well, my dear, as I exonerate you from all suspicion, the 
 least said about this the betteiC I own I was a little too in- 
 -dined to bQ jealous. Who knows but it belongs to Badger. * ,^ 
 Old bachelors ^ar caps sonjetimes, you know j" at which they 
 all set up a hearty laugh. His wife, pushing the investigation, 
 fixed her piercing eye upon him, and holding the cap by one 
 i ; ^ ^ ^ — ^ 
 
 -■k,- 
 
 ■A\ 
 
 /' 
 
t& 
 
 
 146 • Lucy BosTOPr. 
 
 Btring, as it dangled directly before his face, put the quest ion 
 
 home: 
 
 " Do you pretend to say, sir, that that is a man's cap ? Any 
 little girl knows better than that/' throwing it to Mrs. Wilson, 
 accompanied with, 'Hhat's a pretty story for him to tell; may 
 Be he'll make anybody believe it." 
 
 " I*^ve made a thousand night-caps fiiir ladies and gentlemen 
 
 both/' said Miss H . " Male ei^ never have crowns in them 
 
 and they are always made * sheep' ^J^ad.' Lord-a-massy, I can 
 tell one as fur as I cjm see it. Th^fl^ female cap, I'd be bound. 
 ButI don't believe ifea very good charactered woman's any how." 
 
 « Them is just my sentiments, or he wouldn't had it," joined 
 Mrs. Wilson, pointing at the editor with a significant look. "I 
 shoidd like to catch mi/ husband with another woman's cap, 
 
 ^'O^ no, you wouldn't, no you wouldn't, my ^ear/' inter- 
 rupted Wilson, at that moment entering the room and catching 
 the last remark without knowing its particular connection. 
 What's going on here ? These women playing the devil with 
 you, editor ? Let's know. I always call in Badger whenever" 
 any thing is. out of joint with the women." 
 
 "Just look here once, Mr. Wilson/', exclaimed the editress, 
 showing hjm the night-cap — " My husband had this. Don't 
 you think it looks mysterious ? " 
 
 .« I do, most certainl|^" answered the landlord, affecting a 
 
 grave countenan^. ^ 
 
 "-So do I," followed Mrs. W-^-*-, with an ei]4i)hatic nod 
 and an insinuating motidn of the fore 
 
 m 
 
 

 1 
 
 \h 
 
 ■S 
 
 ,*» 
 
 ^'^» 
 
 
 V}- 
 
 tt/^ ' 
 
 M%. 
 
 #''-, 
 
 5- 'ij- i,"r 
 
 •1 " I 
 
 A^ 
 
 -c *- 
 
 
 liU^A' 
 
 •\ 
 
 
 ?^>J 
 
 :4*X <r>i *'>"'- 
 
 I 
 
 >'-Vt 
 
 
 . \ ^ 
 
 - >V'- 
 
 « 
 
 ' , •"''.^' 
 
 
 ■' 't. -v -'« 
 
 ■■ # 
 
 ■■■ 
 
 ^ 
 
 ,*>„ 
 
 
 •^ 
 
 
 ♦' 
 
 v** 
 
 

 m- 
 
 *■*»' 
 
 v'' 
 
 Hollies of'th> XIXtm Century. I47 
 
 " Ap4 so do I," said the seamstress, with the st^d air of 
 old maidishtiess. *. 
 
 "Well, well, editor," said Wilson, "What do you sayl 
 
 * 'Have they got you ? Own up if you're beat." 
 
 " You won't catcK him owning tp any thing, I know him of ' 
 
 • old," declared Mrs." Printer. -^ . 
 
 "I'll tell you how to find out all about it," said Wilson. 
 
 ^" Its the simplest matter ^n the world. Just give me the cap, 
 
 - ^ and deputixe me with th^«power of search,"to go around and 
 
 r try it on all the women's^ieads, till I find the onejt fits. I'd 
 
 like no better job. Itsjkire fire arid no mistake." 
 
 " You wouldn't try it on m^head, I cdn tell you !" .exclaimed 
 
 Mrss Hager,.\fifeh haughty disdftin. 
 
 , "Fraid 'twould fit, I guess. ^ ^^^1^^^ it," said Wilson. 
 
 w " It ^*^S5 ™e I bave met with this f^erh before. Wife, let 
 
 us see how it shapes with- your block, (playfirily putting it' on 
 
 - herheac^); nt averjr bad fit. . 5S:bsLt say„you,*. Editor? . 
 
 . Bon't that look Mherwa^Mm/f " 
 
 ^^'Inever sawit on'a woman'IS^ad beforeT^'ret^d' he, a 
 liitle confused. , / ' /^^' 
 
 ; ^'Now, Miss Hager, its your turn,'' said Wilson jocosel^ 
 .pBoachiog her, cap in hand. " _ 
 
 ^^Youwcm't put that- diity thing on «i^ head; so now' just 
 let me alone, Mr. Wilsod. This dress must, be finished and 
 I'll thank you not to bother me.''' ' . 
 
 "Dp, for pity sake, let him try it on,¥i* will do him afiy 
 good," interposed both the ladies at once, to whicVste jeluc^ 
 tantly submitted, . , 
 
 ■yy. 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 1-! 
 
 'I. 
 
 '•;T»,i 
 
 . ^^ 
 
 u 
 
i. f 
 
 I. 
 
 ^.\ »' 
 
 I, 
 
 » ' „ '. 
 
 .stepping 
 
 >re like it. ■ 11 » 
 : ' !%^l*XfSiou!i A that mide on purpo^. iko wonder she was afraid. 
 |gl>ad it (Jon't fit my uv>^e so TyeU. ||^ 
 *|-tfey cast onunous glances &t 5 fip^ other, but made no 
 
 '^^^^y- /^ * , '■■■■■■■ '^illfc '■■■''' ■ ■-■■■ • 
 
 •^ftato; sjitisfied it is Jiers," ^aid tk editor ; '[Mr. Badger 
 
 toiimehV." ^. ■' :M^:m^^^ ■•■';'■' ■' 
 
 '/ MisS'HagQTj" demanded the lady printer—" tell me^ is that 
 yoi^l" cap ?", ^ , *.M * ' ■ ■:'i\,'''-- i-";' ■;. - 
 
 t*'i!nd *liat's just wha^ IVt like io^/' said the landlady. 
 
 "I don't know as I care poiuch at^tkt it, any way— -magnifi- 
 cent fit thoTpgh^;^' observed "Wilson.li I !i| t / ,. 
 
 " J*feare fi good deal about it," said Mrs. "W-—— •• ^ 
 ' .; " And me too// said ^the editor's wife. " I began to mis- 
 trust her when she refused to tryi^ife on'. Thlre's evidence 
 
 enough to l3tt^^aat^her.*; « ■ „ JH , ' ^ j^. 
 
 < CL suspected ks muchf J and \yh|MHlie come in jiere for, if ^ ^ 
 
 it^^^Bt to give it to her?" 
 Mercy to me, it is ray 
 Miss H-r — , suddenly recogni3PHB|Ekn property. " Whero' "^ : 
 on earth did I lose it ? Where (^^Hm find it ? . It cost me - * 
 two-and-sixpence." ** ^P^ <8: f - .' 
 
 " I came across it " .* ^ ! . 
 
 t. 
 
 rue' as thq world," oiRd 
 
 " I guess jrou did," interrupted his wife. ' 
 "1 guess he did too," 8aid*jjfeE!4fin(llady. /_ , 
 
 r-^ 
 
 << May be you w.ant Mel 11 iflM>!i'"t' /" Wouldp't have' her in 
 
 t 
 
 ^45»' I.V-! 
 
.■^'* ; 
 
 49 
 
 a 
 
 W 
 
 Follies of the XIXtii Century, 
 
 my house," said the editress, with a toss, of the head, aid 
 curl of the lip. ., ■ 
 
 *a must havejmy dress done for Sunday," replied/ Mrs. 
 I can't go to church without it. I wore my/black 
 silk last Sabbath, you know. 
 
 " Yes, it looked real nice ; I should just as leave as i/ot wear 
 it again, if I was you," said Mrs. Editor. 
 
 " I wouldn't bo seen in it again at church,, for nothing," re- 
 plied she. 
 
 Wilson sat listening and studying how he might extract the 
 greatest amount of sport from the nocturnal chJpeau, and 
 amid the momentary lull of the storm, broke fdrth again : 
 <|>*Well, we have discovered the ownership of thfe skull cap j 
 now ^et's see if we can also discover l^owl it fell /into our edi- 
 tor's possession. Come, Mr. Typo, you ire in close quarters. 
 Look out you don't get' turned into 'jni Tbtse women are 
 ^ g>^^^4^ pastry. But you editors belong L the *Argos' 
 '*^^?i^^**^M ^y^^ enough to see and^luck enough to 
 
 pres$^yo\it ^ay clear of any catastrophe. /So let's see how 
 
 lUL 
 
 f/^' 
 
 Aany Wlors you^n <^^^^^^t kindM shapes you can 
 take to, worm yourself ofltoPthis '"Bk- '"/ ,, 
 
 "Well, Icottfcss, tlm^aj>/)wnr;/j-^ are /ig^iiuat. me, but the 
 fads are^m my,lavor.f7-.y^'; ■^\^ - \ ,4 y ■ ■ -■ ., - ,^ ..„: ;.v 
 
 " O, yes, bravo'f* It ai^mk %i| you/ have tres|)a%sed upon 
 
 ^e wardrobe of lomfi!|Bs^n^,i^^ftdthe^^L are, 
 
 fou are caught with J^iiepropert^-^nd you don't deny it. 
 
 • ^ow, v-ltcvf^ did^ytm Jititl tJn^ c0p(Aha^a the question,^ said 
 
 Wilson?- ■ ■;-■ -/■■■•^'--;^'\:/M'V, ■:/;.-; , • 
 • ♦ ^ ■ . r- . ■:'- ' ' .f- ' 
 
 ^ ^Msk Miss Hager wh9re she loft ii,*^ 
 
 J3 * 
 
 V 
 
 \:. ■■ !. 
 
 ■ Vv 
 
 ■ 'A' > 
 
 T :v.v,. 
 
 '■l.'\.i 
 
 ■S 
 
 ■■,:.\:\ 
 
160 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 " "Well, that's honest. Ho is willing to have tho.whole truth 
 come out. Where then did you leave it, Miss Hager? " 
 
 "Under my pillow, of course. Where do ladies generally 
 keep their night-csjw ? " 
 
 "Nobly said. That's where she leCt it— tmrfcr ^cr piY/pw 
 . Now, Mr. Printer, where did you (jct it? " , 
 
 "Well, if you »ni<s« "know the truth, which proves my inno 
 ccuce, I will tell you. I found it under Badger's pilJoiP^r." 
 
 " Morcy I mercy ! " cried the editor's wife, horror.|trickcn. 
 " She left it where she sleeps, and he found it in Badger's bed 1 
 Do you allow such things in your hoT/jf^, Mrs. Wilson? I 
 didn't think that of i/on., or jpu wouldn't 've catched me com- 
 ing here. I 'sposed this was a respectable house. But I'm 
 satisfied now. Come, husband, let's get away as soon as possi- 
 — ble, and I think its yo\ir real duty to expose the whole of 'em 
 in the paper, to warn reqycctahle people against such a hoard- 
 ing house as this is. Its a disgrace to tl^e place, and I " 
 
 "My good wife," interrupted the printer, " hold up: at 
 bit. Let us not get too fust. This littlejpiece 0;^^ wearing ap- 
 parel is rai.sing a great ' rumpus.' So trifling.ifc thing is of but 
 little conse<iuenccu('r('r all, if you will o'nJjs reflect a mom^t.' 
 First, it made me a little suspicious of 3^, and then it made 
 you more suspicious of me. Now those suspicions are aban- 
 doned^ and-you dare to criminate -id whole household by this 
 -' same insignificant item of a night-cap, about which you and I' 
 know nothing, and about which it is none of our business to 
 know any thing. Curiosity, everlastingly on tip-toe, leads th 
 WMiiioii into f)olis1i jealousy. They are good in their sphere, 
 
 A 
 
 ■>^ 
 
 
 and 
 
 f> 
 
 '^ 
 
 ■^■:^- 
 
k3 
 
 tt 
 
 "^ 
 
 A 
 
 
 Follies of the XIXth Century. 161 
 
 ' * " , 
 
 *^ You needn't go to railing about the women now/' broke in 
 
 Mrs. W . " I aint a bit o' doubt you'i glory to see us all 
 
 trod unde/^ foot just like them poor women in -New York." 
 
 '/ Yes, that ho woiild, just like all the rest of the good-for- 
 Dothin men," sputtered the dress-maker. . 
 
 " I don't believe any Buch thing of mi/ husband, I'd iiave 
 yoii understand," retorted the editress, iiAa tone of anger. 
 <* / think, husband, ^ better know nvho we ^uciate with 
 after this. Come, let us go home,t'# VK 
 
 « I should like to hear the whole y<?Jl-« of the cap first," said 
 the editor good naturedly. .. 
 
 "That would spoil the fu^ Its just right as it is, if the 
 tell-tale skull-cap can be replaced where he got it. Its mis- 
 tress might take cold without it to-night," interposed Wilsdli, 
 ^vith a wink and a laugh. .^B^^Bk. * 
 
 f " There— • I guess you're satisfied notel^wSS a!t any rate. 
 Did you ever see any thing so bare-face^ ? Come, tusband, 
 bow can you stay any longer? If I wasn't afraid to go alone, 
 you wouldn't catch mc here^another minute/' expostulated the 
 editor's help-ma:te. • , ' 
 
 <0, wife, we l«ive gone so far, let us stay and have it. all 
 
 f out' now. You tfill have th^ inore facts to publish in the 
 
 ' ■ - ■.■■■« ■.'■'., 
 
 paper, you know." . ' 
 
 Mrs. W- — —f ha^Ottg been in close privacy with the mantua-' 
 maker Ifer some ifojuents, failed to catch a fulj. sense of tfee 
 
 -J 
 
 °i 
 
 5. 
 
 preceding iraputatiAijjpoiflbe character of hei: house, a3|||^ 
 pitious circumstaiiijloTyi|^,' 1^jgJ[^'8. Printejf. 
 ■■^ fff ^ "Wilson had gr6atl$^eflj6yef^3^^ccne, fo^ nothing mad 
 
 ,r than the modulations of a 
 
 r ich e r music 
 
 I 
 
 -/ 
 
?* 
 
 
 >. 
 
 162 
 
 LDCV .Boston. 
 
 V« 
 
 
 -? 
 
 woman's tongue under tbo iuspiration of a scolding fit. De- * 
 sirous of prolonging the feast of fun, lie looked the printer's 
 rfmZ" in the eje with a squint, saying, |k' 
 
 " You have not the pleasure of a particular acquaintance 
 with our old Bach., 1 take it. Allow me to introduce you to 
 ^ Ifis apartments. He has just returned fron^ew York, at4^ 
 ^^^u would like a private interview with him, he ca^ give -y( 
 %bundant and useful information about the great c^vention. , 
 Come/' said he, urgently oflFering his arni," I'll present you in mfL 
 style, tfe's beaming a great favorite with thf^fair sex." ^: ■ 
 ' ».'• " I thai^k^oui%ir/' replied she, drawing back, and gathcr- 
 ' Jng^^feirse^Qbto th%' narrowest possible compass of insulted 
 moddPly — "I have ffM/^cienr acquaintance with Mr. Badger 
 now. Jj^*^ onjy know? as miich* before, I'd never disgraced 
 myseu in going to hnifoom.? * \^ 4 \». "^ 
 
 *'Oho!l'ejaculat^piPilson.'You*fno|t Jim then! Have *' 
 
 been cloieted nk:hiaa,.ehj What do you think of that, 
 " I think we Ipid better knmc wha comes to our house after 
 
 this.* ■ .'' . ■ ' '■■;•'-' ■■ ■"•■_'■■ 
 
 _J* I solemnly protest," said the editress, " there was not the 
 slightest impropriety — " « ' 
 
 "Of course, of couisse, nothing improper,'* interrupted 
 Wilson, with a kignificaniair — " all right,' all right." 
 
 "But to sum up," continued" hp, "I think this subject of ,, 
 cap-ology is pretty well" exhausted, and as we have jail had''our 
 chance of * showing off,' I propose palling ^in Mr. Badger, and 
 he and Miss Hager will unravel^the whole mystery for u^. I 
 
 gUess it don't amount to an^ thing very serious afler.all. 
 
 .« 
 
aced 
 
 lavo 
 :hat, 
 
 ifter 
 
 I tlie 
 
 pted 
 
 stof , 
 ^our 
 and 
 I 
 
 ■%5 
 
 : i 
 
 FOLLIKB OP THE XIXth ClSNTUllY. 158 
 
 "Agrced,|b cried tho editor, jumping up and clapping hid 
 hands in grelt glee. " What do i/ou say to that Miss II . ?" 
 
 " Must we tell the whole ?" asked she, hesitatingly. 
 
 "0 no, not at all," replied Wilson. ^'Only how your 
 ni^cap got under the old bachelor's pillow. That is the only 
 trouble 7iow. 
 
 ^ "For my part, I should lik6 to know the whole," said the 
 editor's wife. 
 
 ^ " My dear," said her husband, "you should not always be 
 prying into other people's affairs. That is one, and I may say 
 .||Mc great thing, in connection with their jealous disposition, 
 which renders the women so frequently ridiculous in the esti- 
 mation of mankind. They have tho capacity, and for aught 
 I know, might have ruled the world ep^|i|L had they not beeo^ 
 forever burdened with the "business o^^Fneit/hbors. They 
 have just had a great convention in !^ew York, and which 
 turned out one of the most ridiculous forces ever enacted." 
 
 Thus waxing warm, he was interrupted by his fair auditors. 
 They could not withstand such hot shot. But claiming the 
 floor, he continued — 
 
 " Now suppose this cap business should all turn o6t to be an 
 innocent mistake— as no doubt it will, "though I confess I 
 acted a little womanish myself— we may draw a very useful 
 moral from it; that people should not put an unfavorable con- . 
 Btruction upon every little circumstance that may happen to 
 appear mysterious. Stop, stop, stop," said he, as his wife and 
 Mrs. W— attempted to interrupt him, "I have the floor, 
 ^ y claim the right of being heard without interruption." and 
 
 then continued— "Let us-now sit down, my dear, and have 
 

 i 
 
 > 
 
 154 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 this night-cap mystery cleared up, and if it be satisfactorily 
 done, say soj and if not, it is none of our business. Miss 
 Hoger can give us a clear solution of this dark problem, and 
 she seems willing to do so — are you not?" asked he, turning 
 to her. The seamstress, deeply absorbed just then in laying 
 the plaits of the drefes, did not heed his remarks. _ _ 
 
 " Miss Hager, can you tell how that cap came in Mr. Badger's 
 room?" demanded the editor's wife with atone of authority. 
 
 " Why I slept there, by Mrs. Wilson's direction, when ho 
 was gone to New York, and I left it under the pillow, through 
 
 mistake, and — " 
 
 "There," exclaimed the printer, cutting her short, "this 
 dreadful mystery is all explained. A mere innocent and harm- 
 less mistake, for which nobody is harmed. I am profited by 
 it, and I hope we all are. What an admirable commentary 
 upon womfih I How admirably qualified she is to weigh and 
 dispose of the great questions of church and state! This 
 single occurrence alone is sufficient to convince the world o^ 
 the folly of this Matter day' scheme of ' woman's rights.'" 
 
 "Query," said Wilson. "If one stray night-cap makes 
 Buch a rumpus now, while this bars are up between the sexes, 
 what may we expect when the bars are taken down and all are 
 turned together into the great pen of 'woman's rights,' when* 
 it will require a magnifying, glass to tell the difference between 
 a man and a woman." ■ '■.0< ^ 
 
 It was getting late. The editor and his wife depar^d, and 
 Miss H-— ^ retired to sleep and dream in her night-cap. 
 
 H 
 
 1 
 
^ 
 
 '■flp 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 W 
 
 ♦• Wonders noror oeaie," 
 
 ¥E left Miflfl Boston returning to the hotel from the "cir- 
 cle," having tvitnessed a striking and most forcible 
 demonstration of a rapjnnff spirit. As before observed, our 
 Bloomer was a woman of striking good sense, given to sober, 
 calm, reflection. Though reason frequently led her to the verge 
 of infidelity in relation to this new-fangled doctrine of Spirit- 
 ualism, yet like many others as intelligent as herself, shd 
 yielded to tlje belief that beneath the whole, there lay con- 
 cealod,^«tfm<^at natural law, some elementary principle or 
 fact wh^\ii^||^eginning to discover itself in the development 
 of human progress. This conviction taking possession of the 
 mind, it was easy to conclude that the very mystery of the 
 thing was presumptive evidence in its favor, and the greater 
 the mystery, the more likely to contain the elements of truth. 
 The occurrence at the "circle " .was well calculated to be "taken 
 as fresh and even conclusive evidence, not only of the reality 
 of "Spirit-rappings," but also of the actual existence of ^c 
 spiiitof the Mermaid. And why should she doubt? B^r 
 confidence in the lecturer — to use the paradoxical expression 
 — was both increa.sed and diminished; increased by tha farf. 
 
 that he had procured palpable " manifestations," or at least 
 (165) 
 
1 I' 
 
 
 •■v.->"^ 
 
 •'*i' 
 
 *' * 
 
 in ■ . » 
 
 X 
 
 .J'-* ■ 
 
 vbat appeared tp be such; dinibiatitjd because she was Bat- . 
 isfied he had nat the dominion of the Spheres which he claimed , 
 ■ —at all evenis, the spirit of thV^ Mermaid was not controlled 
 by him. On th^ contrary, it had plainly, for some reasdn, ,' ' 
 shunnecLeven his acquaintance. . . . * ,^ 
 
 From the window, MiS8 B observed the " rappers '^^ in 
 
 ..ifrequent groups, engaged in closie .'^o^;^»ayiest conversation r ' 
 They wore a melancholy, ^iowticast look- '/Evidently something- ^ 
 was wrong, either, a fault in thevgearing, too mdch friction' 
 for want of . spiritual oil, or a deficiency in the motive ^wcr. . 
 
 HrhecMefengih^^^ ' 
 
 - tiTOSeif in the streetsyfe Boston resolved to- seek life ^ ; 
 
 ^e; Admitted to l^isiw^ ^^^ bolstered ^|j» 
 
 ■■ im chair,ktendedl)y a subordinate "rap^r," whose guaJdSn 
 ^irit was that^f an aged Indian doctor, recelhtly deceased, ifud • 
 of which h^ w^as endeavoring to procurer spirito-pathic pre- 
 sctiption, bt;t the old "medicine man^^ could not becallcd. 
 Probably he was on a visit to his spil:itual patients, of^erhaps^ 
 his"nde" v^as exclusively saper-mundano— possibly he was ' 
 out, gathering roots. In his absence, fad as4he n^rest a|y » 
 proach to,the spiritual treatment, a homeopathist was called in,, • 
 ' who,4dministeriirgabillionth of agi:ainof arnica, pronounced 
 his patient coo^leseent, and lefi;^i^^^,/;,^«.. • . '" 
 The unfortunate lecturer didWj|e^ ^6^ b^ ^^'''^ ? 
 , - ■ ■ jtf|la, ^ She wished hiip to ^c^Mfc^' ttie .Kjii&roph^ "* 
 p/eocding evening.'.; He said l^^^t for Aug time iW 
 eki&tence of some strange spirit tlfrfkas ai>kiou»,40 commi^* 
 <5ate with him,.a% the fact had; been-j-ecentl'y^dpinon&tratei 
 thatUire were ;^%. spirits jn, the lower Spheres'. In confir- 
 
 l 
 
 if Cm 
 
 . 
 
 \ 
 
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■r 
 
 ^ 
 
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 m 
 
 sat- • 
 ned , 
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 ling- 
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 wer. 
 
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 pre- 
 lUcd. 
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 ly in- ; 
 
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 trate^i 
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 . Poi^LXEs 0> TpE XIXth^Centuby. 157 
 
 mation of tliis,^e rilated a circumstance where tlie spirit of s/ 
 parson who^ for sfeveral y^Ws absent, and reported t(>iiay0idiod, - 
 had, thrbwgh a ^pping Medium, intruded itself iroon ^iheir 
 « circle," and given a minutc^statement of his departure, tra^fels^ 
 sic^tness, and death* Shortly' after/ to their great surprife an^ . 
 consternation, a lotteT was reeeived^(by the U. S, JUdil) fco^ 
 the individual with his own well-known signature, informing 
 his Vriends that he was alive and in perfect health. He bad 
 ipigrated to the /'-West'* instead of the « Sphere's." 
 
 ", Hende, we conclude," contioucd hey " that ' rapping ' spirits 
 are degenerating into liars, bttt we havjp never been deceived 
 by a '-^iTJtt'n^ Medium.' That order therefore is perfectly re- 
 liable."- . ^ - ' , . ^"^ 
 T "How do you distinguish between a truthful and a lying 
 spirit?" asked Misa B-^^ — *, > 
 
 "Well, we can^t always do it, exactly) in regard to the 
 * rappers,' so I have adopted the rule of rdying upon none but 
 < writing Mediums' hereafter. The surest method is to have 
 every thing in black and white." ; ' -, ' 
 
 " Do all the spirits know how to write v^ ^ ■ 
 - "No; bufe.they will practice till they do, unless, we gratify 
 them by giving attention ^ their communications." 4 
 
 " What kind of a spirit do you suppose it, was that ptoduced 
 the di^c^der, and. finally committed assault and battery upon 
 you last evening ?" .\ , .• «^' 
 
 , "I am noi fgUy advertise^, but I shall be very soon," re- 
 J)liedhe: • '' ^/ '•>'.. ** . 
 
 "'Are you not afraid 0/ repeated violence ?" * 
 
 " " U^b. I'm not afi'aid of any thing. I have been looking 
 
 .# 
 
 r^ 
 
 ■J „■ 
 
 ^« 
 
 t 
 
 'Q 
 
 ■/ 
 
 ■■■•.. * 
 
■4- 
 
 158 
 
 Lucy "nosTON. 
 
 ^ 
 
 for some such ' derifonstration ' this long time, It is all for the 
 
 best I wouldn't h?ivo failed of it for nothing. It v,^ do 
 
 raore to open th'e eyes of the blind und the ears of the deaf, 
 
 'than any thing else that could happen. Ilon^ for th| oppor- 
 
 ' tunitx of being the Mediurtrof^ another just such 'manifcsta-, 
 
 tipn/ and in public too. ,^; ^ • •"-., 
 
 <'tovi have thfiii, sir. no definite perceptiQn of what spirit 
 
 that was?" / - » . ,, 
 
 '' No, my face is swelled so, % hurts my vision very much. 
 . As quick as the swelling goes down, I shall.be able to see^ 
 
 .^ clear as day.'" >° ' -u 
 
 «^n you tell why I was. unmolested while you mct.With 
 
 IStich violence ?"' - ' ^ * . 
 
 "I cannot, because it is not proper for me to know, just wotr; 
 -but I shall in due time. It is all for the best, el^l^ it is." 
 « Why, sir, were you unwilling to inquire if it \^not the 
 spirit of a Mermaid ?" * ^ " 
 
 " i might have done it, but theu you see I shouldn't have 
 had the * demonstration.' A good' spirit told me to do exactly 
 •as 1 did. Bon't you understand?" ^v' ^ 
 
 « But suppose it was a spirit. What th^6 ? Did- you evq^:^. 
 : know one to come with fuch vehemence before ?" _ . ^ . 
 
 "I have never seen ^em quite so persorial, ^ut they often^ ' 
 lift tables and such things with folks ^i 'em and eariy 'tern, all 
 •about." ■ : v^^-v , ■ ^ ■..-:,-■ :•:;• -^ 
 
 * ' « Yes sir,! have hea?(hjMie like, but only when done by - 
 . special request, if I mistake not.^ .It seemed to me^ifferent jn' 
 
 this e^se.^ You wer^ apparenUy prostrated by .some indignan^ ^ 
 ' ' cause. You did not invite It, did yoJl?'^ . ' :^0 -^ 
 
 
 ( 
 
 ■ 
 
 !<* 1 
 
 *V 
 
 ■"«'J| 
 
 *>■ 
 
 I 
 
 "X' 
 
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 Yets 
 
 vineei 
 
 ^-cal n( 
 
 'Th 
 
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 W ■'■^■^^■ 
 
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 ./ 
 
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 I do 
 leaf, 
 ipor- 
 csta-^ 
 
 pirit 
 
 tiich. 
 ce as 
 
 with 
 
 noif ; 
 tis/' 
 t the 
 
 have 
 cactly 
 
 . evq^r"' 
 
 often" 
 )Vk all 
 
 *■'',- ' 
 
 ^ ■ 
 
 ■ 
 
 ne by '"^ 
 •entjn' 
 'gnani . 
 
 ■ F61.LIES OF '?he.XIXth Century. 15& 
 
 /' K"o^ ahud. It' is just as easy to think a request or <jom- 
 lij^ud, as t6 spfa/c it, you know." 
 
 - " Well^ sir, I have told my object in conaing to see you, nor- 
 do I regret the journey. My visit here iias but settled my 
 belief and increased my anxiety. I am now satisfied there i^ 
 >'among the inhabitants of tfie Spheres, the spirit of a Mermaid, 
 and that a manifestation would have been granted, had you simply 
 called" for it. I must now leave you, sir, and if possible as- 
 certprin the person who has been honored with her communica-' 
 tiond." ^he^arose to depart. , " «y^ * 
 
 " !^n't be in a hurry, ma(|^m. We are going to hav« a 
 ' circle' to-night* l|ut a litilelways from your stopping place, 
 andvit may be profitable for J^u to4ttetid. If jou will' only 
 join us, like enough, your ^^T0f$. npirit may come, but un- 
 iless it is a 'writing.^ y)ne^>F*s|al,l T^tomnnae it false, and pay no 
 attention to it. -,Tl]^'/ap«ers' are not to be trusted," 
 
 " It .strikes |i&,^siivthatr^st night's 'deifionstration' was 
 BuflSciently emphatic to tcac^ you the danger of trifling with the 
 spirits. But my stay must not be prolonged. Good morn- 
 
 ing, sir. 
 
 If 
 
 of an unborn- 
 -^ took IcavQ 
 
 :*:.V^ 
 
 Leaving the illustrious inTalid in somethii 
 
 ■ fortable or rather discomfited position, Miss-Bs« 
 
 for home. / *^. '/ 
 
 ; Her last, iaterview with the lecturer satisfied the good sense 
 
 of ,ottr heroine, at I6'iist as to his stahility,\f Yiot his candor. 
 
 Yet she"faadMo/doubt of his being a JVMiumi ^he was con- 
 
 vineed, hoWever, that Spirit Rappings was no^iiere mechani- 
 
 ^cal nor scientific operation ^ — neither magic nor legerdemain. 
 
 'The lecturer, under the -^jDiml^bed effiQa(^ hi Spirito^atJir^. 
 
 ^ 
 
 ■■#>' 
 
 
 
 M 
 
 ^ 
 
 
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 1' 
 
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 11 
 

 
 160 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 and Homeopathy, was so far restored as to be able to meet the 
 "rappers "-(or rather the "writers," for he had utterly re- 
 pudiated the former) — according, to appointment Great 
 excitement had prevailed during the day. The recent eyent 
 eclipsed every thing in the way of " demonstrations V ever before 
 recorded in the annals of Spiritualism. Thfe little village, 
 nestled among the hills, all at once stood out upon the map of 
 the world, illumined ^ith a halo of glory. Its pillar of fame 
 in the estimation ofvthe spiritists, was reared conspicuous an^ 
 ' lasting as Bunker Hill^ Monument, or the^pyramids of Egyptj 
 and on it was inscribed, first- and foremost, the name of the 
 renowned lecturer, as the benefactor of the World. No^' 
 existed but theirs was the-4avorite "circle" of the spirits, 
 chosen and irnmortalizedjasthe inventors or revealers of spiritp- 
 ^y, the Wraculous "latter-day" medical system destined 
 io annihilate and supersede all otjjers; before which dl thd 
 "ills flesh is heir to" must vanish like mist before t'^ 
 and even Death himself shall run and hide, afraid, lest meeting 
 wiy of these spiritwal Brandreths, his rattling skeleton ^liould 
 take on sinews and muscles, and he instantly become ^kmp 
 *nd ruddy. Not only must disease flee away iiefore their ^11- 
 ^littg artjbutldishonesty and crime cciuld not^escape thsir 
 .i%i^eye. Farowell, ye Old'^Scfeoel Quacks! Doctors, Law- 
 * yers and Judg^lyouir^ crafts are goae!^ %pti^isp would 
 vanish note, ^he destiny of AmeriGa,of theWbf!d^ wasfix^d.-. 
 ^^ extensio6'o^tfiC^"area" of Spiritualism, with its cQgnate 
 .>vereigntjr o|^"womaE',s rights/' ^as fastening to embrace the 
 flirlu^mference of earth and " Spheres." ' J 
 
 ■ Is^ to return 40 the « cikle.? The evening found them in 
 
 
 1 
 
 
 '■ ■ i . 
 
 
 
 
 „ . -■'■.. ^, 
 
 
 
 
 .. " If ..,.- 
 „'■■■ -* "■' „■'" 
 
 
 
 '■'''"■'■■ ■■■■' " , \-.'''''" ,1 
 
 " ^' -:. • 
 
 .r^:^: ..,,::: 
 
 :/"-^^v.... 
 

 < . 
 
 FoLLips ofVthe XIXtii Century. 161 
 
 conclave at the appointed mpment i'Spidtualism" was now 
 in fifll blast, and tho*room was crowded long before the appointed 
 hour, with an excited and anxious auidienco; among whom were 
 many previous absentees. The dce(un«nces of the preceding 
 night were recounted in order.' Graphig was tb(^ (description, un- 
 bounded their regrets' on account of absence. Some declared 
 they woi^ld not have missed the meeting for any consideration 
 ^others s^d they would .ha|e given their^farms to be present, 
 while all resolved not to let business or any thing Whatever 
 
 j^M(pt th^ir attendaqice at each ^nd every '^^ circle," and that 
 with the permission of the lecturer, they woul4*meet every 
 
 evpning. '- \ ... - ' ' . >^, 
 
 , The praises heaped upon their chief, exhausted the entire 
 list of superlatives. He was th« God^ the "circle" were his 
 worshipers. Nothing could surpass the munificence they were 
 ready to bestow upon him. A splendid " place " must'Jbe pre- 
 sented him in token of their esteem, and his "services perm^- 
 ntly secure^ artiU hazards. 
 
 e s^^ofi arrived^^and «ici^ agreel^ngr M\Iany 'laughed ; ' 
 i^eweptlbr joy. The ttible marks," visible. upon his face 
 d worn with the prideof a martyr, Were tie wed with goiter 
 rinsity and counted mprc hc^iJi^bleUhau the sears Q ^the 
 war-worn chicfttiia rcGciYed in his country'ts battles. Calling 
 the '^ circle ", to order, the lecture;r ann'oufieed that he had been 
 ^urri^undod ly.^wurms if ^iriis duntig thed^ 
 dctcctod the presence of soniedtil spirit^ m^ midst of them. 
 -; (Cries fjf " put him outl'^^-that^sfo^-S^he's one <^' ^em."). 
 ,'am ^;ieii,^xJ, epnti|^ t|e vet^i-acT lecturer, « that 
 herbafter, the M^f^. ^^^%'ifi <im^eb'm'^^^ ^ ^jjt on 
 
 l^T 
 
 /• • 
 
 /« 
 
 It <• 
 
 > '* 
 
 \ 
 
 ,r" 
 
 /.A 
 
 "J 
 
 \ 
 
 a. 
 

 *• 'I, 
 
 162 - Lrrv Boston. 
 
 paper every communication trWch wc receive as genuine. ^ \ 
 writiDR spirit. ti)ld me so this day. I am^vinccd that the 
 'manifestation '^I go^last night was % iv^Vning against our 
 being any further imposed upon ^ the ' rappers.' They, ur# 
 nothing more no^r less than a gang of'inipostors. Their cuh- - 
 • ning cheats are calculated to bring us into disrespect. I, 
 therefore, order \his circle to receive ho more ' rapping commu- 
 nications' from either of the Spheres, 'since the prime sp'Jit 
 ^Hich has been our general agent turns out to be none other 
 tha^ the" Great Lying Lucifer himself, who will drum up all 
 the ' thumpers' he can to impose upon us, and pinlr odr causo 
 in disgrkcc. Therefore, I pronounce this the ' Grand Kutional 
 Circle,' henceforth organized for xcritbvj ^lediums alone, as n . ^ 
 safeguard against all deceptions in future." 
 
 "Should any of the 'bottom sphere' liars intrude upon us, 
 we will hear their < communications,' but treat or interpret 
 ^ ' them as WQ Rjca.sc. Such are my orders. * Circle,' join hands 
 for written manifostation.^." 
 
 With \ tremendous flourish of enthu,Ma.'=m, this injunction 
 
 was instantly obeyed, the master of ceremonies wat>lung for 
 
 the inaications of spiritual presence. Presently a number of 
 
 '* Mediums began to nod; particularly the females mentioned the 
 
 ■ previous evening. ' After sundry manifestations by the kctur(T, 
 
 in obedience to ordcrs-j they ' bt go hand&/ and be put tbc 
 
 • 'question : ' "*■ ■ , „ ' -.^ 
 
 ' f' Are therfe- any spirits present ? ". 
 
 *; •: -A sudden and terrific ^' nipping.'' 
 
 "SiWhbel" shoute^ the tnaster, and all wa'^'^till. '« '; ^ 
 
 ' ' )' Are there ^ny ."ipirks present fmm the 'Ipwest -Sphere ? " ^ 
 
 s.- * 
 
 (( 
 
 
 -<i 
 
 oir 
 
 ■11 ° 
 
 
 
Follies op, the XIXtii, Century. 1g3 
 
 Three raps. ' 
 
 "Do you wish to communicate?" ^ ' ^ 
 
 No reply. - v ' 
 
 . " Do you wish to write ? " inquired ho, furnishing pcncif and 
 " signal book." " \ 
 
 ^ Still no answer, but a Medium, with mb^th wide opet 
 thrust forth his tongue at full ipngth. ' 
 
 " Docs that -spirit wish to communicate ? " asked the lec- 
 turer, with evident amazement. 
 ";7T^'T7 so, makelt manifest." '' *". T ^^ 
 
 ," Yes," clearly articulated the Medium. 
 
 The circle gazed at each other, dumb-founded .at this new 
 phenomena. 
 
 *' The lecturer, at length recovering himself; congratulated 
 them on thus havin/g^made"thb important discovery of a talh- 
 w>f Mfdhnn, and expitiated largely upon ^he rapid progress of 
 their darling cause, the flourishing conditibn of the ''"circle," 
 and the certainty that according to thb present ratio of dcvelop- 
 . ment, the -period was not far distant when spirits would stand 
 before them; face to face, in visible ' manifestations.' " 
 
 Meanwhile the oew "Medium" shook Tvith involuntary/ 
 spasms, especially in the region of the maxillary mus^^les, ob- 
 serving which, the lecturer, amid the highest pitch of excitc- 
 . ment, said, that, as the spirit was so extremely importunat*?, ' 
 he would at 6nce receive the communication, and denjanded : ' 
 -^a. " Are you happy ?/' - 
 
 ^L ', ,.y^**Tesj8iis-ee/^^ted^i^ top of his voice. 
 
 . ^The {firiUi^listl :1(^pe(i for ^ what they deemed the 
 
 ;riost profound afid felorious "manif^^statioif' of the ag^ x ■ : ^^ 
 
 /: ) 
 
 *>, 
 
 ■" /.' >. ~ ■;> 
 
 :S' n- ■■:■ 
 
 ^*:. 
 
'\jr .iW' 
 
 iG4 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 \u 
 
 AVhnt (Iocs the f^pirit wi^li to conununicatc ? " furtlicr de- 
 
 iii£*n(3ccl the lecturer 
 '< I want all my 
 
 vers 
 
 friends und ovoryhody tn become be — Hi 
 he santr out, laying peculiar stress up(.i 
 
 the accented .syllable of the last word, and prolonging 
 
 thi 
 
 of his breath. 
 
 ■~ " Vtt 
 
 ncuto inflection to the extent 
 
 u Gyod "—*'f/nod" -T "QOOD," cehoecl round the " rln-." 
 <« Have you any thing else to communicate?" asked the 
 
 moderator. 
 
 '' Ldun't Icnow nothin more, nnj,^," x^m the miequivoctd re- 
 ply, and the puff, of in-piratiSn c.^piipin- through his wind-pip.>, 
 t.he-''3Icdium" collapsed tike ani exhausted bellows, and critd 
 " wi'tcr— water,'.' to quench' his. thirst. 
 
 "A deluge of congratulations poured in upon- him fron» till 
 sides. The old wine was truly in reserve for the last of tlu; 
 feast. Nevcl- before had they enjoyed .so rich a meeting. It 
 was granted on^ll hands that they had hitiierto been hood- 
 winked and bamboozled by a " lying " .spirit. But the dark 
 imposition- had vanished before the now demonstration. Thoy 
 could now talk with the shades, and in their sanguincness of 
 yet being able to see them, some imagined they already caught 
 a glimpse of their shadows. \ . 
 
 Joy flowed full, purse-strings generously relaxed, and " pa.ss- 
 jng the hat," to pay the Professor of Ghostdlogy for his dis-/ 
 tinguishcd services, the circle, in its -s/j/iey'/ctVcapacity, dis- 
 solved, but tarried in promiscuous intercourse VM a late hour. 
 
 # 
 
■. s • - ' ' 
 
 1* 
 
 of 
 
 # 
 
 .#■ 
 
 CIIAPTEU XIV. 
 
 "Soiiiii whUz; wnic Hi-Hvv; ."oiuo fntliom the nliyiM 
 Of uicliiidiyVtrH:. oiluTH iirit I'onti'tit 
 MiUi imi-fv; tlilt.iiiost luiHliJittk'fhIutAid wild-r- . 
 AMiilc trthei-H linvirma.'nin.s tuniM fur Ji Is." 
 
 MEANWHILE thcsdir^' spiKituul doiuortst nil ions" were in 
 proiri-ess^ t)iir .vilhigc editor, av1io.sc acqiuiintnnco tho 
 
 icqi 
 
 readcT has already made, liad issued a number of the Nutioudl 
 BuUi'tin, which however <did not satisfy ^hc eager curiosity of 
 that remllng people. TIj^ previous issue was full of interest, 
 because it was'full of news. The following is an extract from 
 hiP "leader:"— . ' ' .' * 
 
 " During our absence lasr^celc, a statement found -its way 
 into our columns which threw the comnmnity into a high state 
 of excitement. .0 • 
 
 '/'^Ycre it not fo^jJ^^ict. that, without an explanation, wo 
 shbnld be, held up^Mpic ridicule by our. brother editors, we 
 'sl^oulil maintain a pnSjnjIfeilenGC. Respect for oursclfj^how- 
 ev6r, requires .us to *Sor?|»thc error. It is sufficient to say, 
 we. wcrc.mjcesstfrily a^cn^^Mp in tho interim our conjugal 
 partner having assumed tho«j|Liir. editorial, is the sole and re- 
 sponsible proprietor of tho consequent cxdtcment. j 
 
 " Tlic circumstance, however, aifords a theme for dissertation. 
 
 _^..: 
 
 --:■*■ 
 
-^"' 
 
 y : 
 
 w 
 
 \ 
 
 w* 
 "W-* 
 
 106 
 
 Lucy IJ o s t o n ^ 
 
 " ■\Vo may be cuUod conscrvativo, anti(iiiatcd, ^ old fouifUh ;* 
 ncverthcloss, wo iiiust bo uUowod to express our opiuion frtuly 
 in rclutioh to tho so-called Vororms und' prog.roisivc <kvclop. 
 iiionts of tlio iijro. 
 
 <' The two suiKMlativc prodin;ic3 of thcao ' latter days,' and 
 Wj^ virgin born,* arc Woman's Rights and Spiritualism — tho 
 Anieiican 'I'wins, bet^olten without sire, and hcnco tho 
 ?ny of mifacnlouH conception I Although ushered into 
 finhospitablo world in their paternal orphanage, fortunately 
 for them, they arc ^lot niothn-less. More lucky than their an- 
 cient prototypes of Itomjin f;tuie,f which parcntless, friendless, 
 and outeast, were adopted and nursed by a philanthropic ma- . 
 " tronly wolf, the foster-mother of future em^pire! these sirelesv 
 foundlings, lyin^/t the exuliciant paps of maternal cara and 
 • uflection, are waxTi'ig lusty, the fancied fouudej-s, in embryo, of 
 a dominion wider than the worldi ' iuoro lasting than time. 
 I5ut whatever may be the cheri.shed hopes of the New Lights, 
 alias the Spiritual Kcforniers, wc dannot withhold our convic- 
 tion that these hopeful bantlings of theirs, although heirs ex- 
 pectant to tho throne of uiiivcrsal sway, are but the incipient 
 '"manifestations! of two nHs-idiaped boobies, the idols, indeed, 
 of motherly pride and vanity, but doomed to be the laughing- 
 Btock of the world. True, they are blessed with a- goodly 
 numl^r of beardless and some full bearded god-fathers, 
 
 • h rs Dotorious Hint %i<! "<>oniahs rights" scliomo sprung from the nmbitious 
 trains of certiiih niaidi-n liuli.s, hikI .^i>irit lta|ipiiig.-i from theMLspcs Fia|||Ko<-lii'stcr. 
 
 ■j- History recoras thnt Uomulus una. Kouius, tlie twin brothers and founJers of 
 » ancient Rome, left orphuns in their infancy, were confided to tKe care of their unclo, 
 who, from motives of niuhition, exposed theA to pcrLsh ; but a she wolf came and 
 nbuiishcd them with her milk, till a shephard found and adopted tbeoL ' "^^ 
 
 -ix 
 
 r* «j- _ f _ 
 
F l. L I K S (> 
 
 X H C K N T U R Y . 167 
 
 yct'oro tliey evidently ioBBc and riukety uioustors. Their 
 ^inunife»t dv»tiiiy ' b to bo lugged and trundled about, a con- 
 attuit burden to their uiothcrs and tho objects of wonder and 
 disgust to tho piling publi^ who will feel a gratifying relief 
 to see thoni rolled together into a timely grave." 
 
 This lust iinnouBccineut blow i^io flanio of public excitement 
 into a still broader blaze. Tho o%c of the editor was thronged 
 iVoni village aiid country. Especially was bo beset by the 
 more curiouH and iiiquisUi'i : part of the human family, in a 
 inannev that fully> tested Uis patiCtico. ,?|[Io bore tho infliction, 
 however, with tho roniposuve of a philosopher, wisely consol- 
 ing him.scilf, by way of ludemuity for his martyrdom, with 
 the consideration that ho was reaping laurels as the hero of 
 good-natureducs^, while his fiery "leader " would greatly ex- 
 tend the circulation of the National Hullctin. True, his expo- 
 eition of the "New Lights," though received as sterling coin 
 by his subscribers, was repudiated with disdain as base metal 
 by his iix/man readers. IJut as a sqt-ofF to this, his indcpend- 
 cnt, liberty-loving wile could steal a march upon him now and 
 then, into tho editorial "column," and deal blow for blow, 
 making reprisals with interest for tho spoliations committod 
 upon lier sex. So by this alliUnce, offensive and defensive, the 
 National JJullctt'ii. not only attained its original domain, but 
 in the march of conquest, conquered the annexation of new 
 and extensive territory. . j 
 
 * * * * 5K * * * * * ' 
 
 Amaziali, in the ease and freedom of oneness, was something 
 of a "gentleman about town," in part, becau'se he had 
 .pothing to do, but more from the foot, that he had no disposi- 
 
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 1 100 Wayne Avenue. Suite 1 100 
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 tion to do it. He bad, bowcver,^^ been soractbing of an ol 
 aervcr of passing events — imd contcniplated to the extent M 
 his ability, in its various-bearings, the foretold- revolution dud 
 reversal of the order of things/ True to his'cailing, as an//wt. 
 pt'cssible Medium, he remained an a'dbercnt believer, in 
 prediction of what was shortly coming to pas?, yet still 
 covering many things which must have shaken his faith* in 
 woman's capacity to govern, had his belief been founded on 
 human evidence. But leaving our bachelor to ruminate upon 
 his " day dreams and night visions," in conformity with the 
 popular art of historiography — whieh requires the incorpora- 
 tion of every collateral, if not conftimporaneous incident, how- 
 ever slight its importance, or doubtful its connection — we will 
 pick up the boarding-house news, resuming the narrative 
 where we dropped it, ,^ 
 
 Miss Hagcr,"like Amaziah, enjoyed the frccdoiA of simple 
 oneness, but dissimilar to him, site had much to do, and withal 
 the disposition to do ifr. In pursuing her handicraft at the 
 boarding-hoase/^ unfortunately, her experience proved that 
 
 ^offletnnos mistakes as well' as misfortunes do not " como 
 single," for as her ill star would have it, she committc^ a 
 blunder in .fabricating the memorable new silk dress. Tho. 
 mishap, though insignificant and harmless, was nevertheless 
 
 - sufficient to throw its owner into a most violent /«. 
 
 " Mad as the Tcscd sea." 
 
 . jf---^ 
 
 Mrs. Wilson felt driven to free her mind, and like a real 
 Diana discharged the arrows of her innuendoes, till her quiver 
 was emptied, but pointless and harmless, they fell upon tb> 
 
 m 
 
 <ift 
 
y L L I E S O !• T II i: ' X I X T 1 1 C K ^ T L' tt Y . 100 
 
 •bucklfcr of the old iikiuI's hiloJiec. l*rovokin«;ly cool, she sat 
 plying scissors and uecdlo, -ever and anon -looking up implor- 
 ingly, as much as to say : , ■ ■-0f 
 
 '^6 don't, Mrs. AVilson." 
 
 Such provoking coolness was more than the random onset of 
 our landlady's injpctuosity could withstand; and she Vas on the 
 point of calling her husband as a reinforcement, when chanc- 
 ing to over-hear the din, he entered, not as auxiHary, but me- 
 diiitor, exclaiming with great good nature — j 
 , "What'sup, my duck?" 
 
 " Don't you think,'' was the supplicating reply — "my new 
 dress is f^piltc — and ]5udg<vr, I — I wi.sh, my sdul, you'd order 
 him out of the house." 
 
 " Well, wife, 'tis rather bad, I d.cclarc," said Wilson, in a 
 half bauterini; manner. " IJut after all, what^^*;nifie3 it ? 
 Why take on about what you are goihg to take %ht off again? 
 Woman's llights and breeches, not gowns, arc the latest styles, 
 
 you kno.w." : *" - 
 
 This sunshine was but a " weathcr-brccder." Wilson saw 
 the cloud blacken — felt the lightning flash in his face — tho 
 thunder crack in his ear. The s/orm-doud was bursting on 
 his head, as he sought timely shelter, in a sudden turn of tho 
 
 subject. 
 
 - " But what has she done to your dress, my dear ? " asked 
 
 he, appcasingly. 
 
 " What's she done ? Completely ruined it — ruined it. And 
 Badger's the cause of it. The quicker we ' ship ' him, tho 
 
 better." ^-^- ' . .. ; 
 
 "Perhaps it can be fixed— if it can'r, you shall have 
 
 15 
 
 i~* 
 
 5-*^ 
 
v%' 
 
 170 
 
 Luc Y^ Boston 
 
 i 
 
 another as good — if not &<'//<r — so cheer up, dovcy. lie- 
 formers should always keep tlic upper hand of themselves." 
 
 The tempest lulled, but lowered, as hJie abruptly ^vithdrew to 
 her private apartment. ' 
 
 The mantuu-makcr continued intently engaged upon the ilf- 
 
 fated giirmcnt. ^ '.yC 
 
 '* pon't be frightened, ^li.^s llager," paid Wilson, pleasantly, 
 " if I play the, hen-huz/y a little. AVe husbands have t^ do it 
 sometimes, you know^ What seems' to be the trouble with the 
 new gown? Don't it iit, or don't it .s(MV.i? Which y You 
 havn't cjut it wrong, have your"' ^ tfljl^ ^ 
 
 " Why no, Mr. Wilson. I've only madtip^le mistake in 
 putting it together. 1 will have it all dg^e in an hour, and 
 warrant it to set as nice jis a pin. You*, know, 3Ir. Wilson, 
 what troubles I've" luul since I ca^^e here. Its enough to make 
 any poor girl cra/y, to think of it. And now Mrs. Wilson 
 declares she will tell everybody that I have been trying to 
 court Mr. Badger, when- J never spoke a single wor(J'with him 
 in my life. I think its too much to bear," said she, her voice ' 
 tremulous with emotion and eyes filling with tears. ; 
 
 " 0, that's all, is it ? Not half so bad as it might be. I'll 
 set all the bones it breaks. You finish the dress and trust me 
 for the rest/' said he blandly, leaving the room. 
 
 He sought and 'found his wife before the glass giving tlio 
 finiftliing flourish to her toilet, which always constituted Wil- 
 son's domestic thermometer. lie saw at a glance the degree 
 ■, of temperature. Her hair^the ends, as if in electrical ^epul- 
 Bion,(?iooking porcupinish ~ had a portentous twist and her 
 
 

 F O L H E 8 O P THE X 1 X T H C E N T U II Y . 171 
 
 Coiul) a peculiar cant, indicating the mercury raised plump up 
 to the boiling point. 
 
 " Pretty fix I'm left in — the luizzy, just as I expected" — , 
 cried she nervously, tl»rustin«» thtilust skewer into her top-knot. 
 " Well, I wouldn't borrow trouble about it, I guess. "What's 
 the use of borrowing what you don't want when you got it? " 
 pa,id he siigcly. 
 
 " Old IJadgcr is at the bottom of it — and " 
 
 "liottom or top, my iTcar, I really can't divine what he can 
 l)0sfiibly have to do with it. Now, oho question, dovey. Aint 
 "you a lit — tic too — fast?^" 
 
 ' " Fast or slow, little or much, the quicker he's ' shipped ' 
 the better. We've seen A6ugh of him'. Do you know he's 
 got a whole lot o' books and papers in his room, and porin over 
 'cm all the while? I've seen 'em. They tell about spirits 
 and woman's ri(/hts, Vcsides other things — I didn't know ex- 
 actly what it was, but I s'posc 'twas some big doctor's words or 
 •other. I don't. think that looks well for an old bachelor, es- 
 pecially — — Do you ?"' > 
 
 << I don't see any thing so very bad about it. If he chooses 
 to study the sciences, why let him. Its. his privilege and we 
 shouldn't interfere with it." ' 
 
 "I don't think its any of hig business, -any way,"" and we 
 can't got rid of him too soon, before he .makes any more 
 trouble. That's my mind." 
 
 " May be he's studying for a doctor. Who knows ? Then 
 we lan have a physician in the family. Wouldn't that bo 
 handy though?" said Wilson roguishly. 
 
 \ 
 
 t 
 
 r 
 
 :A 
 
 f 
 
 i! 
 
 ^ 
 
 ■^- 
 
172 
 
 IjU c y Boston. 
 
 r /' 
 
 «• Anil hir brow cWml, but not hor troubled eye; 
 Tho wind wns down, but still llie (St'u lau bigli." 
 
 As it bappcncd, the mail Itad just brought friend Badgor*- 
 various fresh publications on the subject of " woman's rights," 
 and among them the petition adopted at the Great Convention, 
 accompanied with a request that he would circulate it j also that 
 a meeting be called, the subject explained, and the people 
 aroused to the importance of the matter. How his address 
 was obtained, or why he was selected as a leader in the new 
 nfOvement, was beyond bis comprehension j but as the respon- 
 sibility was laid upon him, and pos.sibly feclinj? a little flattered 
 by the distinction of being raised to the dignity of a public re- 
 former, he resolved promptly to discharge his ollicial duty. With 
 tho formidable arra^ of documents in his hands he jas de-' 
 scending the stairs,'to lay them before the considcratiolf of^iis 
 landlady, just as she and her husband issued into the hall, and 
 approaching her with an air of great deference, said : , 
 
 " Mrs. Wilson, I have got a petition to Qirculate, which I'd 
 like to have you take and get as many names as possible. You 
 
 limd it, and-^i " ^ 
 
 You needn't come to me with any of your doctor's papers.' 
 Give 'em to Miss Ilager, she'll take 'em. I'll thank you to 
 move your quarters, sir. We can't board you any longer; 
 rather, we don't c/ioose to." 
 
 • " But this is a petition for woman's rigUs^ and I supposed 
 of course all the women would jump at the chance of signing 
 it. You want freedom, don't you, Mrs. Wilson? " 
 
 « I understand it. - You want us to sign away what littlo 
 liberty we've got left. I always thought we'd have to do all 
 
. »• 
 
 Follies op tiie/xIXtii Century. 173 
 
 the men's drudgery yet, bcforri wc died. And that's just what 
 you're after now. I know you. So keep your old papers and 
 clear out,'' and away she whirled to the kitchen. 
 
 "What's in the wioJ this morning, Wilson?" asked tho 
 petitioner, dumb struck. 
 
 "0, the nefw dross don't fit, or some dev'lish thing or 
 other." -^ 
 
 "Ilas'nt she got another '/f?'*" • 
 
 " Yes, a regular fit — and the hardest kind." 
 At this, IJadgcr started without preliminary, and in great 
 haste for his pills, thinking it a fit opportunity to test their 
 eflicaoy. He took fivQ boxes, and descended to the kitchen. 
 Finding his patient raving at Dinah (considerate wench, who 
 bore it kindly), and the evident symptoms of the case indica- 
 ting the necessity cf instant relief, he |»anded them to her, 
 
 i'uying,-^ — - 
 
 " Take six now, and the remainder in two hours." 
 
 Upon opening the box, instead of following the prescription, 
 
 she lot fly the whole Into his face, and suiting the word to the 
 
 action, exclaimed, I 
 
 " You old fool I r didn't si^^n your paper. I see your trick. 
 
 Yuu wanted me to subscribe for j>/7/.s— but I didn't, you -" 
 
 rem- 
 
 " No, no, Mrs. Wilson — tltf^se is the great 'sovereign 
 cdy for fits.' Just take 'cm. They are Kurc cure, I bouulit 
 'cm on purpose for you." At that instant, Miss Ilager called 
 
 for :Mrs. Wilson. ifc „./ *\ 
 
 ♦' What d'you want," ans^vcredsfjc, waspisuly. j 
 
 / "Will you please to come up and try on the dress ? Its' 
 
 ready now." 
 — ^^V^ 
 
 I 
 
 HifijiittiiK ''I \ "• " 
 
mgmTTT-'^fmfWn 
 
 174 Lucy Boston. 
 
 " yes," Pni.l lkil-(T, " ra like real well to sec it. Its tha 
 prettiest pal tern T cv(M- paw." 
 
 . Though at first unyicUlinir, AVilsf^n making hi« appoariinco, 
 she was ut lengtii persuaded. They ascenaed, followca by the 
 
 new pill doctor. 
 
 Badger -at whose entrance Miss Ilagcr looked the pieturo 
 of .surprise — taking up the notal.le garment, as it lay acr..s.^ 
 the back of a chair, and holding it off at arm's length, ('xhaustcMl 
 his vocabulary in a .strain of admiration — and finally r^T^^^k- 
 ing, that if it was not "a fit," he would be glad to take it otV 
 her hands, seeing the period was so near when he should have 
 
 occasion to use it. 
 
 ^Irs. W resigning liersclf into the hands of ^ man- 
 
 tua.maker, in a trice, .she came forth the most buxom-looking 
 creature that silk and cott^-n could make her. 
 ''Mr. AViJM.n" and '0!r. Badger," duly presented, went 
 into ecstaeies over the embudinicnt of their "beau ideal," as 
 she wheeled from right to left and left to right, in review be- 
 fore tli^m. Even Mrs. Wilson, conscious of being the «' observed 
 of all observers," and seeing her own image in the mirror, was 
 vainly proud that nature and the mautini-makcr had east her 
 in a nimild of such faultless pniportions. 
 
 The fit was over. Miss Ilager was now the model -hv^s- 
 iiiaker, and "Doctor Badger" (as she was pleas(;d to call hlni ) 
 was at oiiLC reinstalled in the good graces of his lanolady, atil 
 her'' must not leave on any coii.-idcrafinn." • 
 
 In the cuuise of the at'tcrnonn 
 
 Mrs. '\Vilson a 
 
 PP^^ 
 
 in 
 
 d 
 
 on 
 
 )r;'.ci 
 
 l.t, 
 
 grand parado, e-iuiiVi.ed with n-w dross, chemisotK 
 
 &c. in the mo-t cheerful mood imaginable. Among o;lier 
 
ij.-.-- ■t'-'tf.fjm 
 
 iPTTW^f 
 
 s*r..3- '^." p~ 
 
 
 ■ipi^i 
 
 lie 
 
 ;li.'i- 
 
 FoLL riKH OF Til K X I X T H Ckntitby. 17') 
 
 particular friciuls, she honordl tho Doctor with a cull (nojt nn 
 unusual occurrence by tlic way), anil atnndin<^ before liim. in tbo 
 most grncet'ul, wiuniu<^ attitude, said with i\ playful siuile, 
 
 " 3Ir. IJudgcr, don't you wish I was a widow?" 
 
 " I don't know as I wish you was a widow; but T wouldn't 
 care if I was? ]Mr. Wilson." 
 
 " I think this makes up real pretty. I don't believe there'll 
 be a single dress in church to-morrow, that'll beat it." 
 
 " Vou arc certainly dressed in first-rato taste, Mrs. Wilson ; 
 but Ucw long d'you s'posc it will be before the women will 
 put our clothes on ?" 
 
 " What ! wear coats and trowscrs?" " 
 
 "Certainly." 
 
 " O I'd just as leave do ihat^s any thing, if it was only tho 
 f-ishion." 1^ 
 
 '* But wouldn't you like to have it the fashion?" 
 
 " Yes, I would for a spell, ju.'yt to see how it would seem." 
 
 " And how would it suit you for tho women to have the 
 power, as men do now — make the laws, govern the Church 
 and tho State, cnrn/ the nione//, and all sueh things?" 
 
 "First-rato. I'd give any thing for that." 
 
 " Well, Mrs. AVilsun, bilievc me, that is going to be so, very 
 floon too Hl^ou may depend upon it." 
 
 " AVhat makes you think so, Mr. Badger?" 
 . " WiUi'if YOU won't tell anybodv, I'll toll you." 
 
 "Well, T pronii.se you I won't. I'll be sure and keep it a 
 
 real 
 
 secret. 
 
 " Well, if yon lK,']ieve it, there Was the spirit of a Mermaid 
 come into this very room that night it stormed so awfully, and 
 
r^ 
 
 ■ I 
 
 • 
 
 170 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 told mo 80. Slic mu\ nhc come right from tbo Spirit-Land 
 
 I never told anybody of it before." 
 
 " (\in ^K0 have all the property ?" inquired nhc, earnestly. 
 
 " (yye«, you can pass laws so that you can." 
 
 «« What have we got to do, to get the men out^80 wo can get 
 
 * ' • 
 
 in their place?-" 
 
 " I'll toll you what. You must take these petitions and get 
 everybody to sign 'em you can. And you mujrt talk to your 
 «ex and give 'cm to understand what's gping on. And I tli^nk 
 yovVd better take a paper that advocates ' woman's rights.' 
 
 "O this 'is what you call ' Howiaji's rlr/htx^ is it? That's 
 
 >vhat all your books and papers arc for. I've read a good deal 
 
 abput « woman's r/-//'^s' but I never really understood it before. 
 
 Yes, I'll do just what yo« tell mc to. But what do you s'po.o 
 
 my husband will say if he finds it out?" 
 
 " O nothing— nothing — Wilson never says any thing — all 
 
 right. IIopc^^I dpn't int'rude. Doctor Badger ? tell mc what 
 you think of mj^T^ifb. Isn't she about X ? Wouldn't I leave 
 n pretty nice wii4 behind, if I should happen to go before?" 
 said her husbtlml sportingly, who at that juncture entered the 
 room, amTwho, % the way, was really proud of his wife when 
 
 - she w^ncatly drLsed and in good humor. 
 \X^"1 think ^Irsl Wilson is a woman of m.^^'," replied, the 
 r>„cl„r, " and if sic should be left a widow a great while, I'm 
 s.ue it'would bevlr fault. Wilson, ^our wife wiU^^be in the 
 
 , Le-ii-l'iturc before Lo years! Do you know that?" ./ 
 
 u I m, for the cabdi.latcVHaid Wilson, slapping his hands iu 
 
 .^r(^at glee ; " I'll v )te\for. ^/w, ducky " 
 
 ' St. about this." in'jfeled the Doctor; 
 
 " But I'm m 
 
 carnn:- 
 
FoM.iKH ov TMt XIXtii E N T L' r y . 17t 
 
 > 
 
 *' We mcti Imvo got to coino uodcr. This 'womaa's rightg' 
 question iu tho f,'mit (jucstion. Its got among the jifojiie and 
 it must go. 'Twill bo tho grand issue next full, and its^goiflg 
 to bo carried, sure as fate. Its advocates will have a nmjority 
 in tho next Legislature, and I thibk we'd better go in for it. 
 What do you say ?" 
 
 " I say," replied Wpson, " tho papers arc getting into pretty 
 much of a stew about it. I say, though I'm no politician, iii 
 Miy opinion, its a dcv'lish big humbug. Hut if they want to try 
 it, I've no objection. I would as soon live under petticoat 
 government in tho state, as petticoat government at home." 
 
 " You'll have to wear that article then, sir," said slie, ifiih 
 an air of triumph. jSi^^- ' 
 
 " lleigh ho ! you've glBPa fever, too, have you wife ? Going 
 lorakc the stump, eh ? Well, I'm pledged to vote for ^you, 
 any way. Ypu and Doctor Badger will make a most powerful 
 team, wh'en fairly yoked in. I speak for that dress apd chemi- 
 pette, wife.^ Shall I lay by vlfy over-alls for you to use in the 
 fltablo ?" Wilson thought of something that required his im- 
 mediate attention, and chuckling heartily, took French leave. 
 
 "What a good feeling man he is — always just so," said 
 
 U 
 
 gcr. 
 
 " He won't feel quite so chipper when wc get in power," said 
 she, with Bclf-satisfaction. 
 
 " How glad I am to got you enlisted, Mrs. Wilson. Now 
 you take the pclition and obtain all the signatures you can of 
 both sexes. Especially get the ladies of influence enrolled, 
 and we'll have a meeting here before long." 
 
 '' Yes, I can go all over town in two hours." 
 
 
^.» 
 
 178 
 
 1,1 cv HoaTOV. 
 
 \ 
 
 « I think youM VH.r ^oo the clitor-H wifo ns «oon d.s po«.n>Te, 
 .„d Hccnrc her .uppnrt. I kn.w h.r hu.han.l i.s d.^a npu.t 
 w, butlct her unarr.tana that the men can't print 2-/"'* 
 much longer, and she'll bo ti.kle.l cno«^Mi to jom us.' 
 
 « Well, I'll ao it. ri«ht off. I vronM to go over there am 
 Bho. her n.y new dross ju«t n. ciuiek as it wan done. 1 1 ^ 
 have fifty names in lr.3 than an hour," and Mrs. ^^ .Inon, uuh , 
 the utmost outhusiaHn., departed on her uew nu.sion. ■ 
 
 The Doctor ^as left alone to cogitate on the incidents of tho 
 day, cspecvally upon the Hidden and extreme change m 1^^ 
 appearance of his landlady. Congratulating hiw^scdf on hav- . 
 ing won her over to the great and good cause, ho rendved t. 
 push the petition with all di.pu.tch, und arouse the whole ecu- 
 munity to the subject. 
 
 Ji^ 
 
v^> 
 
 *^. 
 
 ■w 
 
 ,r^ ' ■■ ■•■.■-rs;-'^'^'*^ 
 
 CHAPTER XV, 
 
 "NoliiM hiilli rrninnl Mrnn^'o Uilii/* In Iter. 1 lino," 
 "I uui K wuiunn! uuy^n wirnmn wrt>na'il." 
 
 MISS IIOSTON, on her return, f<iuinl Mu- jiuljlie mini] pn tty 
 thoroughly inoculated with .thti luanitt uf SpiiituaH.-*!^ 
 4h4^ " woman's |ijj||)ihftJ(^' 
 
 Nunicroua "circles" had been instituted, and what \<cro 
 niincd as genuino conimuniiations rceeiwd through ii )7//»y""".7 
 •Jedium. IJut palpable failures ngt iufre»|uently eoturred in ' 
 .)ccuriug "demonstrations," and those obtained bore soniethinj; 
 of a suspicious cast; still the believers maintained rcmarkablo 
 courage, and were unanimous in promi.^^ing ultimate female 
 npccndcncy. ^ 
 
 One "manifestation" in paititular, more njarkcd than the 
 rest, furnished food for their marvelous appetite. 
 
 'i'he spiritual pervcs of the "circle,'"' .strung around the tabic 
 in th<* greatest. tension of an.\iety, a female, by the direction 
 (as she said) and the in.spirution of a u-Iio/c Splicn' of Spirits, 
 breaking forth, in an al/tyro-sjiiritono movement, sung, as if 
 pouring out the very witt of melody — "■;' 
 
 « For, .lo. rnl, ' 
 
 Fill, lie, rn], 
 
 ' Fol, lol, do, rol." ~ 
 
 ^ ^ .- ''«o1,<lo,r<)l, ■'<•■ 
 . ' Itol', (If, ri)l, 
 Df, rol, U ' l, lol." — 
 
 079) 
 
 y 
 
 'V 
 

 o 
 
mm 
 
 ■■^^■ 
 
 180 
 
 •L-LCY Boston 
 
 This exquisitely sriritual sextain, out-vivuling the ruv.s npg 
 strains of the dying .wan, ^vas i^ppcatcd ^vith various modula- 
 tions, meanwhile ^r Accompaniment, the r-former rapjnng a 
 splendid spiritual " n«i-«./»/>," -th her knuckles on the tabic,. 
 
 The' V circle," almost swooning with admiration,3|orly^ 
 inquire! the name of the magnilicent cantata. W^ith a fau-y- 
 
 like air slie replied, " The An^jcVs Grand WaU./' -^ 
 
 Jupiter! Apollo! What uninspired mortal would ever havo 
 
 thouM.t of that? 15ut then if the gods are musicians, why 
 cert July the angels may dance. This surely is something new 
 under the sun. Just imagine, reader (if your fancy .is suffi- 
 ciently ethereal), imagine yourself in the great spiritual UU- 
 room, in Uic midst of a ^>.c^ Tbcbus, the Divine Fiddler 
 in the « box," with his spiritual Tiddle, and the shades big and 
 little, of both .exes, black, white and red, touching the "light 
 fantastic toe" to the scraping of spiritual rosin, horse-hair and 
 cat-gut! What French fours, and Scotch reels, and Irish 
 jic.9, and Spanish Vandangos, and Indian pow-wows, and Dutch 
 fuddles, and Yankee gallopades, and Fanny EUsler polkas 
 and Wirginny "breakdowns in the grand "promenade all,' of 
 
 the spiritual cotillion ! ^ \ - ^ 
 
 Our sinjhuj Medium sought oarne.stly to be re-mspired, but 
 - the Muses were mute. Either they were indisposed, or the 
 fountain of song was exhausted. However, -th^ circle " en- 
 tertaincd hope that the musical spirits would agaiii appear. ■ 
 Miss Boston was advertised of all that had happened during 
 her: absence. Great anxiety prevailed to find the lecturer, 
 jvhose name was on every tongue: though often interrogated 
 : OS to her kno^^ledfec of his locality, L«^ for the most part, 
 
 ■-f- 
 
 "M^ 
 
 A*^ 
 
 ^ 
 
 U 
 

 mm 
 
 '9*«"**P!*"Piiii 
 
 ipppiil 
 
 V 
 
 ToLLii'S OF TiiK XlXxii Ckntury. 181 
 
 tfhc kept her own counsels. To ono or t\yo only of her nio!«t 
 intcllio'cnt and intimate frieiuls, she opened lier mind freely in 
 relation to the spirit with which she was so anxious toNiold 
 correspondence, and declared it to bo of little use to send for 
 the lecturer, since' just as <50(I^Iediuius niigfit he found there 
 'TrsTJlsiS^drcTC: She had pi-essing invitations to meet -with the 
 circles, but declined froni prudential, or some other- motives. 
 
 As yet. Miss Bot«ton had taken no measures to discover thn 
 person chosen as.tj/o Mediu^Jn of the sprit of the Mermaid. 
 The best course to''p«Tsue — that was the question. She had 
 the impression that lie resided gomewherc in central New Yorlc. 
 IJclioving herself able to recognize him in a public mcctirtg, 
 even, her first thought was to go into every town, largo and 
 small, lecturing on '' woman's rights," in the hopo of a'ceiden- 
 tally falling in with him at some point in her wanderings. But 
 this method was attended with groat uncertaintv. The idea 
 occurred to her, to advertise for his discovery. ]>ut how ? For 
 the "persop who had seen the spirit of tlie Mermaid':"' Tliat 
 would not do. She blamed herself cxcccdinfilv for not havino- 
 learned his name, of at least his place of residence. 
 
 No feasible method presenting itself, she ivt length cam<< to 
 the conclusion that her chances df success l.iy as iiir.ch witliiu 
 the ''spheres'* as the circumforonce of eaith, Wn- steam miglit 
 have "already carried the. unknown Medium to California or to 
 
 Si 
 
 'parture to the Spirit- 
 
 Land. 
 
 She therefore adopted the bold plan of seeking the spirit of 
 the Mermaid in person. Accordingly, retiring to her chamber, 
 she assumed almost every jxissible attitude at every hour of the 
 
 . . " ig' 
 
 X 
 
 J 
 
182 
 
 Lucy BfosTt)N. 
 
 day ana night, mentally and orally invoking its presence, but 
 with no avail. Ilor ingenuity arid perseverance, though 
 prompted by the purest motive, Atcrc not repaid with the least 
 gign of a " manifestation," not ev(in the ambiguity of a dream, 
 and she nearly abandoned the hopc\of securing a spiritual alli- 
 jincQ in the consummation of " woiiian'a rights." Invitations 
 were almost daily pressed upon her, from various quarters, to 
 address public meetings on the great topic of reform, but they 
 Lad all been declined. As the political elements were begin- 
 ning to be agitated in view of the lortheoming election, and 
 candidates, as scn-aH^s .of the people (?) were offering their 
 disinterested Bdvxiccs, she concluded taere Was no time to be 
 lost in vindicating the ri<jhis of her sex ai^d elevating their 
 "long-deferred" claims before the masses. 
 
 She therefore arranged and publish id a list of appointments, 
 when she would address the citizens (f different places on the 
 qucjjion of "government reform."/ The series of the pro- 
 gramme carried her dawn to the /eve of election. It was 
 stated, however, in connection witli/the notice, tHat should any 
 tiling' octur to prevent ^lu> fulfillment of her engagements, due 
 nuti*-e tliercot" would Ic liiven. 
 
 With a lufty parp.be and a brave heart, she entered upon 
 the campaign. The above-mentioned advertisement happened 
 to fall under the eye of Doctor Badger, and observing that the 
 
 celebrated lecturer was to address the citizens of U , 
 
 which being the nearest point to his residence she would 
 touch, he resolved to attend the meeting. 
 
 •?( tit fills wore nuniornu's, the press grew less rampant in its 
 opposition, converts multiplied, and the work went gallantly on. 
 
 ■•<?■■ 
 
 ■^-- 
 
 ■^'' 
 
:/-i~^, 
 
 FoLLliiS uy THE XI.S.TU OeNXUIIY. 183 
 
 The l>octor and bis coadjutor, 3Irs. Wilson, were indefati- 
 giible, but tbcy had as yd called togctbcr no public assemblage, 
 pruicipally for tbq. want of a speaker. Tbo merits of the new 
 reform appeared not to be very thoroughly understood iu that 
 locality, yet there was enough of novelty and fun iu it to in- 
 crease the list of petitioners to an indcGuite length. The vil- 
 lage editor stood up a vigorous opponent, but his " stronger 
 half" was as vehement an advocate of the cause. Wilson, too, 
 belonged to the enemy, but not of the " rank and file." Choos- 
 ing i\\Q ijiieri'ilki mode of warfare, no one could leave a spot 
 exposccl as big as a bullet, without feeling his " sharp shots," 
 but treating his hapless victims- with such superabundance of 
 good nature, th«y were quite indifferent if not insensible to 
 their wounds. His chief delight was not in killing or wound- 
 ing, but in 7i<V/</(y ^Ac judr^*. 
 
 MrN Badger, iu company with his hostess — now a leading 
 spirit in the retbrm — set out td attend the convention, her 
 husband dryly remarking, as they departed, 
 
 "I hope, my dear, you will Uike good care of the Doctor 
 while you are gone." 
 
 Ecachiiig U , towards evening of the same day, they 
 
 <' becked" themselves at the " Central." Mrs. Wilson had 
 
 but vague conceptions of city life. Although U -was 
 
 far from being thd metropolis of the state, yet i^t was in won- 
 derful contrast with/li^ provincial ideas and habits. The 
 evening on their hanW, Doi^or Badger escorted his landlady 
 through the principal streets, to " sec the plaec." Her gal- 
 lant companion mdst have felt that she was beginning already 
 to avail her?# of her " inalienable rights," as she compelled 
 
 / 
 
II 
 
 7 
 
 184 
 
 Lucy Bosioff. 
 
 him to halt at almost every step to admire ami explain the 
 wonders which under the brilliancy of ^us-light appeared to 
 grow more and more wondrous at each successive window. . 
 
 Among other objects in their peregrinations and sight^scein^,, - 
 they came in contact with a raantua-raaker's sign, or in techni- 
 cal phfase a '' for-mr Badger was inclined to hasten by,cir- 
 cumstances causing the sight of it to produce within him paiti- 
 
 ful sensations. Mrs. W- observed his impatience. Her 
 
 curiosity excited to know the cause, and after the fashion of 
 the sex, unwilling to leave without a few " last words," 
 
 « do setf there !" said she; " that is exactly like one Mia.s 
 Jones had, and a crazy fellow knocked it down in the dirt one 
 day and threw a pail of water all over it, and they \vm\ -AfpaU 
 time. Don|t you remember it ? " ♦ 
 ' « Mrs. Wilson, hadn't we better begetting along?" said he, 
 in an urgent tone. " We shan't g«t round to-night, if we 
 stop to see everything." 
 
 « Didn't yov hear of thjit though ? I thought everybody 
 
 knew it." . / 
 
 " How did you get your information, Mrs. Wilson ? " ' 
 « Miss Hager told me. She happened to be to work there 
 
 at the time. Oh ! how fscar't she was. She never — — " 
 'f Yes, I believe I did know something about it. Hadn't 
 
 we better cross over here and go up the other side," said he, 
 interrupting. Her questions were multifarious as a woman's 
 tongue could make them, in relation to the objects that met 
 their gaze on every hand. A tide of people, of all ages, 
 ■ Bexes, and conditions, was continually passing to and fro. She 
 wondered where such a " sight of folks"v could come from, and 
 
 5#f 
 •*4 
 
 "HjI 
 
 K 
 
I'OLLIKS OF THE XIXtU C E N T U tt V . J Ho 
 
 ^hero they were going. Evpry one they met, that struck her 
 as in any way peculiar, she would give his arm ajtwitch and 
 ask if he knew "who that" was. With an indefinite number 
 of crossings and re-crossings, baitings and startings, and turn- 
 ings and windings, the sight-seers found themselves at their 
 lodgings again. « 
 
 Mrs. W rested but little during the night, because, to 
 
 use her own phrase, " there was such a raft of folks coming and 
 going all the time," and she "kept getting up to see who they 
 were." But exhausted nature must be restored, and she slept 
 soundly in the morning. 
 
 It was timo to " ring up " the sleepers. The gong set up 
 if.s deafening roar through the halls, and came thundering along 
 by yur landhidy's door. In an instant, though but half awake, 
 she was on her feet. Such a noise ! She had never heard the 
 like before. It had passed to the further end of the hall, and 
 was returning with redoubled terror, when in her night regalia, 
 the picture of fright, she threw open the door and screamed — 
 
 " For mercy sake, what is the matter f Is the house afire ? 
 ' Th a fire bell — O, dear ! what shall I do ? I can never find 
 the way down." , 
 
 " This is the first ruujy ma'am," said the waiter laughing. 
 ," We ring again for breakfast." 
 
 Mrs. W 's panic was allfiyed, yet she was at a loss to 
 
 know what it was that made such a dreadful noi§e. > t 
 
 Let no one make sport of the poor' woman, for whbtHatever 
 heard a gong for the first time, but felt his hair rise on end 
 and his flesh crawl, at the terrific veil. 
 
 and 
 
 
 At an early hour began the surrounding country, to pour into 
 16* 
 
 iWijffi 
 
 >■■ 
 
 
 ■^■V V-,-.-'/^ \ : .^- ;• .^ ." .^^^^^-^--^-^l ■. ■■'. 
 
 'In 
 . iili 
 
 
 /.,';.■.,..;.; \;: / - ■■..:■ '_^r-.' - ■'. ■ ' ■■...- ; 
 
r- 
 
 18G 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 the city, ill its accustomed manner. The morning stages, well 
 laden, arrived from various directions. jMrs. W-— BUpposed 
 they were all coming to attend t\»e convention. 
 
 Doctor Badger and his companion repairing to the pufjli.- 
 hall, in advance of the hour, found but a few persons present. 
 
 31iss Boston had arrived in town. A number of " strong- 
 minded" women and one or two (ura/t-minded) men 4ittcnded 
 her. They entered the hall in company, and occupied the 
 platform. The edifice wivs respectably filled; the audience a 
 miscellaneous one. In front of the stand sat the rcportorrf 
 of the several " ilailio^;' with pen in hand, ready to chrouiel.! 
 the "demonstration" so potent in its bearing upon the desti- 
 nies of man. ' ^ ' 
 
 One of the ladies, whoi?o name was announced, opened the 
 n.eeting by a short speech, at the close of which she introduced 
 Mi j^s Boston to the audience. ' 
 
 Our heroine, amid applause — her naturally dignified person, 
 made even more majestic by hef rich costume, new in material 
 butnotinstyle — delivered a lengthy and powerful address, 
 
 in which she contended — 
 
 First. « That woman had been and was enslaved." 
 Sccondfi/. " That she could if she tc§itld,he free." and 
 Thirdly. She followed with some pertinent and forcible lo- 
 
 marks, in substance — that a mighty effort was being made 
 
 that the world was moving 
 
 „r) — a new and better-balance 
 
 old foundations were breaking 
 
 felt confident that the ne 
 
 ist Log 
 
 islaturc would show a majority 
 
 m 
 
 favor of "woman's rights," and urged her sex to "cut 
 
 the society of those who refused their co-operation. 
 
 She 
 
 /• 
 
" ^ 
 
 Follies of the XIXth CentuiIy, 187 
 
 hoped the sacred name of teaman would uo longer be disj^raccd <f 
 — or rather that she would ccaHe to disgrace herself, by truck- 
 lin;j; to the arrogated power of her master — and conclutled 
 by aflirniing that she had a (?hinc conviction of the truth 
 and justice and success of their cause — that i\ supernatural 
 revelation, she had the best reason to believe, had been made, 
 and of which she hoped and prayed they might receive the 
 benefit, before the die should be cast at the Ides of November. 
 
 , » '■■■ v.. 
 
 The address was listened to with great attention, s^u\ pro- 
 duced an unexpected sensation. The gravity ^pf the speaker 
 and earnestness of her manner impressed every •<^o with the 
 truth of her sincerity and confidence of speedy triumph. 
 
 Miss 13— — 's/closing sentence made a special impression on 
 the mind of t^ revelator of the Mermaid. Satisfied that the 
 allusion was t^ none other than himself, his pride was elevated, 
 ^,#and hq felt an itching to make known his identity, butwhellttr 
 to seek a renewal of acquaintance was a query. His feclinffs 
 prompted him to go forward and introduce himself, but a tremb- 
 ling timidity held him back. 
 
 Lucy having resumed her seat, a reverend gentleman fol- 
 lowed with some cogent remarks, in support of the previous 
 address, in the course of which, he alluded Uo the spiritual 
 manifestations and prophecies, all leading, Ivc said^ to the con- 
 viction that " woman's rights" must prevail. 
 
 B.idger deeply intelit upon hearing and understanding every 
 ttonl, kept his eyes fixed upon the speaker, with the gaze of 
 
 • motioiilesa abstraction. Miss 13 w!is observed to leave the 
 
 platform. Her eye had caught and recognized her quondam ac- 
 quaintance of Mermaid memory. Fortuitous concurrence ! ar- 
 
 -\ 
 
 A-.. 
 
188 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ranged no doubt by the HpiritsMni parting fresh hope to our 
 heroine, and to " woman's rights" a new impetus. 
 
 Soon the rcvchitor might disappear in the crowd. It wuh 
 her care not to'lose trace of him again, and gliding noi.«elc.<sly 
 down the aisle she was quiclcly at his side, but unobserved by 
 him, so lost was he in attention to the speaker, llcr finger 
 rested lightly on his shoulder, yet he was insensible to the 
 
 touch, when Mrs. W , who had the happy capacity of see. 
 
 ing fmyyMt/i^, whispered in hiM car— » 
 
 " Miss Boston's hand is (m your shoulder." t 
 
 Brought to his senses by this announcement, he sprang^ in- 
 voluntary to his feet, almost as much surprised aJj when he saw 
 the Mermaid. 
 
 "At what house do you stop, sir," inquired Miss B -, in 
 
 a suppressed tone. 
 
 " The * Central,' " he replied, in a loud whisper. 
 
 " I will see you at your room, immediately after the adjourn- 
 ment," said she, and returned to the platform. The Doctor 
 settled' back into his seat with an air of pride, bordering on 
 pomposity, at this public distinction paid to him by the illus- 
 trious lecturer. The movement, though observed, attracted 
 but the momentary attention of the audience. 
 
 Several individuals followed in brief remarks, committees 
 were appointed to circulate petitions, and the convention closed. 
 
 I^liss Boston, punctual to appointment, found Amaziah await- 
 ing'her arrival, took his hand with almost a masculine grip, 
 and expressed her great joy at meeting him so opportunely. 
 
 " The privilege to ask questions being one of woman's 
 rights, allow mc to enquire your name, sir," said she. 
 
 \:W- 
 
 jTi '".">.„ 
 
Follies OP thb XIXtii Century. LsU 
 
 " Amaziah Badger. I live in the village of O — — ," was tho 
 reply. 
 
 " Mr. Badger, pardon mo tho liberties I take. Freedom, 
 you know, is my creed. It is impossible for mo to express tho 
 anxiety I have had to see you — and great is my good fortune 
 in this unexpected interview. Providenco first threw us into 
 contact, and Trovidcncp has led us hither fur a merciful and 
 benevolent purpose, I cannot doubt, liut have you again seen 
 the spirit of the Mermaid ?"'**" 
 
 "I have not, ma'am." 
 
 " Ilavo you ever received ' manifestations'' from any other 
 spirits ? " 
 
 " I have not, ma'am." , )„. . 
 
 " Have you ever attended a spirit meeting? " 
 
 " I never have, but I'd like to, though." 
 
 "Is it possible, Mr. Badger, that you have never met with 
 a * circle : ' and is there none in your village ? " 
 
 " No, I never saw any such thing in my life. There aint 
 lany at our place." 
 
 Lucy was struck with astonishment at the mystery, for such 
 she regarded it, and this entirely convinced her that the spirits 
 „eame of their own accord, and not by enticement, neither by 
 persuasion nor force. 
 
 " Mr. Badger, asked shddpith anxiety, "j|^tou not know, 
 or can ^u not devise some meaps by which to obtain one more 
 interview with the spirit of the Mermaid ? " 
 
 "I don't know of any thing, Miss Boston. I havn't any 
 reason to expect I shall ever see it again." *- . 
 
 " But what. seemed to be the object of her appearance? " 
 
 %^ 
 
IDO 
 
 Licv Host ON. 
 
 "She said it was bccausq I dtdii't'lovo the ladies better, nnd 
 she wanted to convince mo of tlicfr cruel wrongs and propiicey 
 about them." 
 
 This ho said, not sensible of his being made the Medium of 
 Ppiritual comnmnication in furtherance of the great reform. 
 
 " llavft you any objection to making this revelation known 
 to the world?" j| 
 
 "I don't know as I have, but it wouldn't do any good. 
 The thing is st't/ti'<f, OlisH IJoston. You are going to conquer... 
 I know it just as well as can be. I don't believe there is six 
 men in our whole town opposed to us, and if you could only 
 hold a convention there we'd have 'em all." , -. 
 
 " Is it known there, Mr. Badger, that you have reccivcdahis 
 revelation ? " 
 
 ^ u No— I never lisped it to anybody but you and 3Ir8. Wilson." 
 "If I could only have auiinterview with that spirit, what a 
 boon it would be to the world.^ Do you follow the directions 
 it gave you, sir ? '^^-^'^^^ « 
 
 " Certainly I do. I havn't any wish not io." 
 " Suppose you should take grounds against us, dq you think 
 it would make its appearance to you again ? " 
 / " I don't know, I'm sure. But I can't take ground against 
 you. Tshouldn't know how, if I wanted to." 
 
 "W^at, if you should declare that it was all a dream, and 
 that you icill not be satisfied without another ' manifestation V 
 Would she noi^urn to deliver you from xinbelief ? " 
 
 "I know it wasn't a dream. I saw her twice, as plain as 
 day, and heard her speak just as clear as I hear you this mii^- 
 nte / '^ said he, warming into animation. 
 
 (( 
 
 ",\ 
 
 '\ 
 
ft 
 
 F o L L I i: H r t h b XI X t ii C k n t u n y . 101 
 
 / " Suppose you try to bolicvo that you a'ro deceived, and boo 
 (ho cfToct, OP Hiuiply hnmihtc it u delusion." 
 
 " I know I enn't do it. l^it I'll Irt/y if you wnnt mo to." 
 
 " Well, now, you endeavor for a while to work yourself info 
 the opinion that wliat you thoujjht you naw, had no rtaUti/, 
 and wo will watch the result. I should like to introduce you 
 to giy friends, arul have you relate the whole thing to them, if 
 you are willing." • r 
 
 "I havn't no ohjecfion.s as I know of. Ihit shall I tell thoni 
 it was real, or that I don't believe there was any truth \'n it?" 
 
 "Pcseribc the scene as it appeared to you, and noto tho 
 impression it will produce upon their minds," 
 
 " Shall L answer all the (juestions they ask me?" 
 
 "As you like." / 
 
 ^* You havn't any doubt but wo shall carry the next election, 
 have you. Miss Boston ?" 1 
 
 " I think our prospect arc very""*good, but vigilance i3|tho 
 price of success." '^» 
 
 " Do you meet with much opposition?" 
 
 " O yes, like all reformers, we are talked against and ridi- 
 culed by certain classes, in speech and through the press. Iwt 
 the political papers dare not oppose us directly, neither baio 
 they courage, honesty, nor the justice to come out boldly in 
 our favor.; They arc tho organs of their respective parties, and 
 , their' 2>ar^c.s do they serve, alike unheeding the cries of tho 
 oppressed and the voice of God. But the principal opposition 
 we have to meet is from a class of independent sheets. You 
 will doubtless see a caricature of our meeting in tho morning 
 prints." . 
 
 .:-}._- ./■■ r^ 
 
.^ 
 
 
 ^. 
 
 192 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 ' ■,, 
 
 "Lot 'cm muko all the iport of us tlioy cnn, Misa B..8toj»," 
 said Badger, with riaing indignation. " Kvcry body 'U^know 
 they aro puly pokin fUn ot us.", 
 
 " Very- true, Mr. Budgcr, but I had much rjithcr take tho 
 field in oppOBition to aobor reason than burlesque, at any time. 
 Tho blows of argument wo ean meet and parry, but against tho 
 8ba(tg-of ridicule and dcrisiojiciirc have no defense. They uro 
 sure to pierce through tho (joipts of tho harness ' somewhere." 
 • " But if wo are only sober and sincere, every body will know 
 that wo arc on-tho right side, instead of those who uro all the 
 whilo laughing and making sport." 
 
 "Hoason and Uidiculc, Mr. Badger, are two mighty leaders— 
 the, latter more formidable thaa tho former — in strife for the 
 mastery among mankind, in the gross of numaaAtahiro. It is 
 so in .the nature of things. IpVhilo lleason ta^nHM|gthen 
 a solitary prisoner, llidiculo will dr;iw off wlJIBflpnlWons of 
 , ..deserters. Hence aro wo obliged to contend at great odds ; 
 ^JbeUevo we arc destined to conquer^ notwithstanding." 
 
 '|»|)gUevc so. They ar6 all on tho right side, out our . 
 half ti dozen, and they are real hard cases- We 
 tef have an^ffc^e till they are out of Ihe way. I wish 
 ^ could come. Miss Boston, and hold one convention there 
 ^ We shouldn't have any trouble after that." 
 
 " Most gladly, would I go, Mr. Badger, if you could sccuro 
 
 n?e an introduction to the spiritof thcMprmaid," 
 
 " As to that, I can't exactly promise," said he. 
 
 ' " Well, Mr. Badger, I am exceedingly happy ir receiving 
 
 80 good an account^ bf our prospects in your sojtion.^ If you 
 
 will now accompany me to my hotel, I will m a ke ye a acquainted 
 
 ' ^ iiith 
 Iipa a 
 "I 
 tions, 
 
 said t 
 
 *" Wl 
 with 
 cham 
 
 ij^y pi 
 
 next i 
 it to I 
 left a 
 as to 
 > 4f being 
 cxcus 
 
 > 
 
 

 .■"^^^ 
 
 _.5^^'' 
 
 
 icn ,^- ' 
 
 ^^P • F0I.LIK8 Of TUB XIXtII CBNTURff lUfe. 
 
 iiith iny comrades, who will bo glad to hear from your own 
 lips a description of your interview with the spirit*' 
 
 *' I'd a little rather they'd couio hero, if you've no%bjeo- 
 tlons," said he, with hcuitation. 
 
 " Very well, just as you prefer ; I will bring them dirodly," 
 enid slip, departing. 
 * Why ho should doclino the honor of appearing in pul»lio 
 with his distinguished viffitor, and in his eyes' the ^liobkst 
 champion of the cause ho had espoused — whether the reason 
 lay primarily within himself, or more in the vicinity of his 
 next door neighbor — ^ wo will not pretend to determine. Suffiott 
 it to say, Mrs, W — 7- knew to a second when her gallant wai 
 left alone, and at- once put him to the torture of an inquiiitipnf 
 as to rtbe origin, subject, circumstances, and results of his 
 >^ being closeted with the' bk)pmcr,,and why herself had been 
 excused from thcf^ccrocy. The Doctor thought he discovered , 
 in her evident symptoms^of a Jit, and as she was on his hands, 
 he began to deliberate upon tho best mode of treatolent. It 
 was a delicate question to decidd, whether the case required an 
 internal or external application — that is to say, a dose of his 
 "pills," or a new dress. Fortunately there was, from some 
 cause, a sudden change, aqd tho paroxysm passed, much to the 
 relief of the Doctor, as well as the patient. " 
 
 Miss Boston resorting to her associates, informed them, with 
 evident agitation, that she had found the person who claimed 
 % to have seen the spirit of the 3Iermaid and received at her 
 mouth the prophetic revelation of the certain and speedy 
 triumph of the cause of " woman's rights j" that he had kindly 
 consented to relate the whole matter to them, at his room, and 
 
 7^"^ 17 - ». ■ 
 
 I 
 
 ,^. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ak 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 " 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 • 
 
 
 
 • 
 
 » 
 
 
 .1 
 
 
 
 
 * 
 
 • 
 
 • 
 
 f 
 
 
 
194 
 
 Lucy Uoston. 
 
 knowing they would rejoice to avail themselves of the special 
 favor, she had conic to escort them thither. . 
 
 Her rpvereiid coadjutor, Mr. Q , listened in utter as. 
 
 tonishmont, then fixing his dark^ and. piercing eye upon her, 
 with withering look and manner, said, 
 
 " Miss Boston, I always esteemed you as a lady of sense and 
 a christian. If you are serious and know what you say, you 
 are neither. What ! You a .bclie\-i?r--Wi^ these latter-day impos- 
 tors, these false prophets anJ lying spirits in league with the 
 Devil, who shame decency and common sense, and set rcjigion 
 at^(Bfiance? No one but an idiot or an infidel can be guilty 
 of sucli blasphemy. The idiot is excusable— the infidel 
 
 never. 
 
 This hasty and severe, if not ill-tempered rebuke, fell like a 
 
 . thunderbolt upon Miss Boston. It Was calling down fire from 
 heaYen to consume the heretic. / •' 
 
 The females composing the rest ji' her party were at oiu.e 
 alive with curiosity and impatient to go and see the maiK The 
 reverend reformer, in a flame of. holy indignation, or of hot dis- 
 pleasure, said he was strongly in favor of "woman's rights," 
 
 -but was ashamed of his present ct)mpany — that he would 
 travel with them fio more, and left in disgust. 
 
 They in turn were amazed %t the conduct of the deserter. 
 Lucy said it was only another prcjof of man's despotic nature 
 — tLt she knew they were bounded succeed iu fulfillment of 
 the prophecy, and on the whole it was fortunate he had gone, 
 since'he could now have no clainji upon them for any office, ,ap- 
 pointment or mercj/.v/hcn the hkppy day of their power should 
 arrived 
 
 I 
 
I 
 
 Follies OP tiieXIXth Century. 195 
 
 "Yes," aclded the others, "we'll mark him. Well ^liovr 
 him who the /co^s are." 
 
 Kepairing to his quarters they found the revelator, and with 
 him Mrs. Wilson, whoso jcalokisy as well as curiosity was not 
 a little excited. She could not imagine why they should be 
 paying so much attention to her boHU^ and determined, by 
 sticking by, to know the whole story. / 
 
 The ceremonies of introduction ended; at the request of 
 ]\ljs;s B_ — ^ the revelator began and narrated, in detail, tho 
 accouritand propheicy; of .the Mermaid, at which his new listen- 
 ers, were not only filled with amazement, but intoxicated with 
 
 They conclttdQd,,4hat^ if Mr. ]iadger cguld be engaged to 
 journey with them and relate his crju'rievce, in connection with 
 the lectures, it would put scepticism to ttic route and annihi- 
 late all opposition. It was considered an.expedient acquisition, 
 as their ecclesiastical follower had apostatized and seceded from 
 them, that some mow should be rylopted to fi.ll his place as their 
 valet and sort of body-guard. 
 
 Mrs. "Wilson, delighted with her new acquaintances and 
 fellow laborers in the reform, beset them with greajt vehemence 
 to accompany her home, because, as she said, 
 
 "Husband and I disagree, which will make it very unpleas- 
 ant i^he aint converted. Now, Miss Boston, you're just the 
 woman to do it. If you'll only go and give him one lecture 
 the job will be done. Now you will go, won't you, Miss Bos- 
 tofi ? Don't say no, for nothing." 
 
 Doctor Badger, interposing, also urged them most strenu- 
 ously to accept the invitation, and as an irresistible inducement 
 
 
196 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 ventured to hint, tjlVt possibly they might bo favored with 
 another visit from*thG. Mcrmuid. Upon what tlicy docincd 
 mature deliberation, i^,.^a3 decided, on the grounds of expedi- 
 ency, to abandon their puWshqd " bill," and follow the reve- 
 
 lator^nd his hostess^ in hope of seeing the " spirit; " at least, ^^^^ 
 they could visit i\\Q Iwlij chamber where it had appeared and '''■: ^[^ 
 prophesied — a (circumstance, the relation of which would pro- 
 ducc great effect and make many converts. ^ - 
 
 „',.;■;,'>•, 
 
-T 
 
 ;';"^{. 
 
 1 '^: 'l^- 
 
 IIAPTER XVI. 
 
 Murder will out," 
 
 WITH tlie reader's consent — Icaving'our " woman's rights" 
 coterie to follow at their leisure -^ we will take Express 
 and hasten back in advance to our vill^e, and note some evcntg 
 of importance that had there transp^cd. 
 
 It is almost impossible for the historian to keep pace with 
 the intelligence, improvement^/ and discoveries of"thi|f/«s« 
 ' age. Wo set oat wjth the benevolent design of giving' t^^the . 
 world a narrative of facts, no less authentic and momentous 
 than novel and mystcric>{is. Already are we filled with fear, 
 lest many incidents iii[/ the multitudinous rush escape the notice 
 of our pen, and which almost makes us shrink from our pro- 
 posed task, to sav(^ ourselves the reputation of an unfaithful 
 chronicler. Nevertheless, what we do produce shall possess 
 the substanc^not the mask, of truthfulness, a quality of 
 which man/works oi fiction cannot boast, among the countless 
 publicatidus of the day, 
 
 Crt^cuniPtances — by the direction of the spirits, we may 
 suppose — rendered it necessary for the lecturer to absent 
 y' himself, at least for awhile. Great enquiry was made as to 
 the cause of his sudden disappearance and the place of his re-. 
 
 ;-'U 
 
 17:!: 
 
 (197) 
 
 I 
 
198 
 
 Lucy B o s t o n 
 
 tircmcnt; ]^Mt i\s the occasion of his absence was veiled ia 
 doubt, 80 no trace of him could be obtained from either mortal 
 ^ sqnrit. Humor whispered that a spirit of envy or jealousy 
 -a|4^an»S ^"'^"S ^he fairer members of the " circle," was 
 Corking a " nmnifostation" of the mysterious secret. It is 
 worthy of notice that the lecturer displayed the singular sa- 
 gacity to lay in store against a "rainy day/; not only the full 
 arrears of his wages, but a handsome sum in advance. 
 
 Still the circle's conGdence in him suffered no abatement, till 
 on the heel of his departure it was announced that he was a mere 
 babe in spirit-knowledge and power— that he did not understand 
 the geography, nor the inhabitants and laws of the Spirit-Land, 
 at all— that there were '' spheres" of which he had never dream- 
 cd; in short, he had never traversed even the surface of Spirit- 
 ualism, mu\jh less ascended its heights and sounded its depths. 
 It was also discovered for the first time that there were but 
 four persons on earth whose capacities enabled them to pene- 
 trate and unfold the mysteries of Spiritdom, and these ghostly 
 Tetraehs were enthroned respectively in the four quarters of 
 the globe. There were, it is true, more or less inferior Me- 
 diums through whom the lower order of shades would occa- 
 sionally communicate things of trifling importance. 
 
 The author of this thrilling intelligence, and the Great 
 Hi<^h Priest of Spiritualism, was there in the midst of them, 
 and his name was and is Amos Fmglchead. To him was 
 tiothing unseen nor unknown. He held it a cardinal truth, 
 that under the espionage of his spiritual police, no. event es- 
 ca^d his cognizance, neither was there any secret, however 
 hidden, but he could spy it. If the reader is disposed to call 
 
FOLIflES OF THE XIX 
 
 T U CK N T L U Y 
 
 199 
 
 tliis in question, let the fullowing instance of liis infallibility 
 Ijanish every doubt. "i 
 
 j 111 a neighboring town a most diabolical niurdei* was sup- 
 posed to have been committed in the sudden aud mysterious 
 disappearance of a collector of taxes who was known to have 
 liad a large sum of money in his possession. Amos, in spirit- 
 ivision, saw the corpse ! and plunder! and bloody knife I Ilfr 
 discovered the murderers, but refused to reveal their names, 
 like a good and peaceful citizep, unwilling to loose the blood- 
 hounds of vengeance ; yet, 3 iclding to the promptings of syga- 
 pathy aud the claims of humanity] he resolved to cnliglit^i) 
 the world and relieve the friends of the murdered victim from 
 a suspense more iutolcrable than/a knowledge of the dreadful 
 fact itself. Accordingly for thel greater certainty, having sur- 
 charged the battery of his telegraph, and set all the spiritual 
 wires in operation, he put on his spiritual specs, when lo ! ho 
 beheld thirteen objects, two of which were the body and the 
 money — the former beneath a large stone-heap, the latter 
 rolled up in a blanket, and tl*localities of w:hich he definitely 
 described. The question wa/thus settled. The sceptics must 
 succomb now ! The reality of Funglehcad's inspiration could 
 110 loi^r be gainsayed. With the faith of assurance, a large 
 party of the " circle" and 'tti^ disciples, in solenjn procession, 
 preceded by the hearse, set out to disinter the body and restore 
 • it to the mourning friends. Reaching th« vicinity of the ap- 
 pointed locality, one thing after another met their gaze, in ex- 
 atii'Skpcordance with the vision of Amos. At last the pile of 
 stones was discovered. With slow and muffled tread they ap- 
 proached the grave of the murdered tax-gatherer. How sad, 
 
i- ' 
 
 ^ '^* ., 
 
 200 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 \ 
 
 ^ ■ 
 
 .^ 
 
 how awful' the isjiene ! Every heart throbbed with emotion, 
 and many an eye moistened with the tear of sympathy. Th« 
 coroner ordered them to proceed. With sepulchral awe tht 
 stones were removed, and behold! the-body was not there I: 
 What comW have become of it ? 
 
 Notwithstanding the solemnity with which the occasion waa 
 
 •invested by the spiritj^s, there was not a little merriment 
 among the "outsiders," at the expense of Funglehcad and his 
 followers, who had sweat in vaih, in their work |of removing 
 the funeral « 7urr(Z 7tcaf7s,"forthe purpose of furnishing a prac- 
 
 .tical " demonstration " of Funglchcad's divinity and the valuo 
 to mankind,' beyond conception, of his spiritual telegraph and 
 
 spectacles. ""^^ ' . " 
 
 Though made the butt of sport and jeer by the unbelieving 
 multitude, the zealots, instead of being disheartened, did but. 
 grow in faith and ardor. Martyr-like, they endured it with 
 patience and fortitude, for the sake of the cause. Nor ^id 
 their decent failure diminish their confidence in their High 
 Priest. On the contrary, hope, "immortal in the human 
 breast," only waxed the stronger, and they returned for tho 
 Seer to take another peep, through his spiritual glasses. 
 
 Amos was consulted without delay. He insisted that liis 
 vision was clear, and for a time would not; be persuaded that 
 ^he search was thoroughly made. But his own most devoted 
 disciples were the actors of tho scene. Their hands lifted 
 overy stone, their eyes looked upgn the spot. There was abso- 
 lutely nothing there. Amos was forced to admit the fact, but 
 declared his determination noHo give it up. He Kould know 
 ' where the body was. 
 
'UL,L1KH OF T II K X I X T II (! K N T L il V . '20% 
 
 Fortuuatoly, lie h;id discovered in tlic vicinity a larjro rock, \ 
 to wliioli the spirits had ^'uidcd him, and whose p.irlichs woro 
 pervaded with spiritual electricity in the positive state. Fun- 
 glchead himself was a ucijafirr qnantiti/ ; so by his Kittin*; on 
 the rock, thus bringing the magnetic poles into contact, a sjirit-' 
 ual battery was fornvcd, and in which all the telegraphic linos 
 concentrated, likftsDcrves of thought and beams of light, re- 
 vealing trf the optics of the Seer, everything within range of 
 Earth" and the Spheres.* One would suppose- that, being the 
 " Medium" of the action of such mighty forces, he must h:ive 
 experienced darting pains and convulsive gripes, but contrari- 
 wise, his whole rystcm, as he affirmed, thrilled with sensations 
 inGuitcly pleasurable. This was truly a discovery, superior in 
 marvel and utility-to the "golden bough" of classic memory, 
 which served its possessor as a passport to and fronj the Spirit- 
 World. - 
 
 This rock was in shape, conical, and in texture, rough ; but 
 its surface, to the sensibilities of Funglehead's pantaloons, was 
 sraoolli and soft as a cushion of velvet. lu its cxturnal appear- 
 ance there was nothing peculiar to the natural eye. A geolo- 
 gist of our vulgar system would have called it a graaitc "boul- 
 der," but it belonged to a formation of the Upper Spheres, and 
 had been transported hither by the spirits and christened" The 
 fiock of Vision." * 
 
 For the safety of those who had not spirit optics in their 
 head, Amos erected over it the inscription, in large black letters, 
 
 * This does not militate against the theory of purely spiritual iotercoitf se. In ao- 
 eordance with the law of " means to an end," this was their modus operandi. 
 
202 
 
 L u c V Boston 
 
 f 
 
 *^ Death to him that sUlcth uj^on ihh rock— thus saith the 
 
 tj)irit8.*' . 
 
 In presence of the messengers bringing melancholy tidings 
 ot-the corpsely aW>/, Amos the Seer npproaehed the - Rock 
 of Vision." Having calmly survoyed it, he waved his hand, 
 hiid aside his hat, drew off his boots (as they had nails in them 
 which might attract the electric current from the brain to the 
 
 heels), and said — 
 
 «' Attend, ye spirits, while I ascend the flock of Vision." 
 
 Immediately mounting, he seated himsel f upon its apex, with 
 his legs crossed, arms folded, and goggles adjusted with great 
 precision astride his m^pc, 
 
 In addition to its other qualitieg, there ^x^'zed from this rock 
 a spiritual cerate or. ointment, which applied to Fungleheud's 
 glasses, not only cleared then, of all impurities, but imparled 
 to them the quality of clairvoyance. Tlie spiritual chemicals 
 now worked to a charm. The electro-magnetic rays shotr 
 through the tubes of his goggles, throwing into the camera ob- 
 scwm of his mortal vision a universal panorama of all realities. 
 V Tlie rock and Amos together emitted a blaze of phosphores- 
 ccoce, attended by oeca.sional reports of the cleetrieal current. 
 
 His disciples, overwhelmed with awe, gazed upon the spec- 
 
 ■'■■■■■■■■ / ' / 
 
 -taclein silence. /' _ " « 
 
 "Hear ye, hear ye," cried the Seer, "I am going to look! 
 IJc ye attentive and Believing. The spirits command it I" 
 E:>ch in obedience stood.motionlcssajjd almost breathless. '' Be- 
 hold, I sceI"saidFunglehead--"l sec the stones yc removed. 
 I see blood upon them now. M ye gone where I directed yo, 
 and done as I bid ye, ye would have fourid the bodf. Let 
 
ith 
 
 FoLiiiEB OF TUB XIXtmi Century. 203 
 
 this teach yo always to o)joy our coinmnntls. Wc never coun- 
 cil ill. Yc never more can behold tlw body. It hath been 
 consumed by liro. It hath been burned in the liiuc-kiln. Cilo 
 yo on the lust day of the week, at noon precisely, to the kiln 
 and gather yc the ashes that licth at the luouth thereof, to tho 
 measure of one bushel. Bring them to the " Hock of Vision," 
 in a wooden vessel. Fail not." 
 
 Thus spiikc Funglehead the High Priest. The vision was 
 ended, and his goggles were nought but vulgar' glass and 
 leather again. , ' 
 
 The btfdy consumed ! There was not a moment to bo lost 
 in convoying tho melancholy intolligenco to the friends of tho 
 deceased. * « 
 
 Wretches! fiends! who thus could not only' slay an jUino- 
 ccnt fellow-being, but, to destroy the evidence of trheir guilt, 
 ruthlessly roast the corpse to ashes ! ? 
 
 But that could l»y no means prevent the detection. " Mur- 
 der will out," The joy of the spiritists was full, fbr they had 
 BOW learned, tg a certainty, the fate of tho collector. 
 
 Funglehead descended from his rock, much exhausted. Tho 
 spiritual afflatus, with the effort it cost him to utter and accent 
 the language of the Spheres, had so^rely taxed his nerfousan( 
 muscular energies. . * 
 
 News of the miraculous discovery spread through the com- 
 munity with great velocity. The appointed day arrived to '^ 
 prove the veracity of the Seer, and the authenlicity of Spirit- 
 ualism. The disciples of Funglehead, the High Priest, assem- 
 bling, en masse, proceeded to gather up the ashes of the dead, 
 to be deposited in the urn of immortality. Winds shrieked^ 
 
>•' 
 
 204. 
 
 XucY Boston 
 
 floods poured, as if Nature herself was enraged at tlw5" J'ubolU 
 cal tragedy which had been enaetcd. But water c^ nqt 
 dahjpen the courage of the zealots, nor winds " bluff '§!« «"•" 
 They reached the lime-kiln at the j>rerise moment, when to 
 their astonishment the same had not been "fired." Still thiir . 
 confideuco in Funglehead's spectacles did_ ndt wane, but waxed. - 
 One search more would reveal the victi||^^hc infallibility of 
 the Great High Priest would be cstablislied'/ ind Spiritualism 
 placed on a foundation as firni and lasting as the eternal hills. 
 
 The kiln, it was observed, had been recentlyjconstruptcd, 
 a circumstantial proof of great weight, that they stood by the 
 sepulcher of the dead. The groans of the disconsolate spirit 
 saluted their ears, and every stone cried murder 1 Ueturning- 
 minus the.ashcs, 'they reported to the High Priest the result 
 
 of their mission. 
 
 Funglchead mixintaincd the singleness of his eyesight and 
 the correctness of his glasses. But the Rock of Vision, he 
 said, had gathered dampness from the fog of the previous 
 night, so swelling its particles, and closing its pores, as to pre- 
 vent a free perspiring of the spiritual essence, which might 
 possibly have occasioned the slight mistake. Indeed, ho rccol- 
 Iccted his having noticed a blur upon his goggles at the time. 
 But ^e a.ssured his devotees that he would look again, in the 
 night-time, as soon as the atmosphere should clear up, when 
 he could retire alone in the stillness, with nought to distract his 
 attention, and when the rock in a healthy state would yield its 
 spiritual perspiration, to purify and perfect his optical organs. 
 Then no mistake could happen, as his yision would be unob- , 
 structed by any earthly obstacle. ^^_^^_ 
 
 Po 
 
 To his 
 proving i 
 ogator ol 
 like the 
 while it I 
 to protec 
 
 Fungi 
 promised 
 • locality o 
 ^ ''circle" 
 nioment'i 
 ' At len 
 minutely 
 that prov 
 alxiut the 
 and he c( 
 despatch 
 also of t 
 that was 
 falling en 
 
 Again 
 cosgion, ; 
 — the sai 
 doubt exi 
 thus earlj 
 were for 
 most strei 
 ynnd a qi 
 itualism ' 
 
 Ai!.a'itiri"*L„ >„ . 
 
Follies op the XIXtii Ce 
 
 N T u R Y . 205 
 
 To his followers, this explanation waa abundantly satisfactory, 
 proving the profound sagacity of the great exponent and prop- 
 agator of " Spiritualism." It also showed how delicately exact, 
 like the Daguorreian art, every item of the process must bo, 
 while it argued infinite shrewdness on the part of the spirits 
 to protect the coronmniiy against impostors., 
 
 Funglehcad awaited a-favorable o.pportunity 7o «7, having 
 
 promised to give definite inforniation at an early day, as to the 
 
 « locality of the remains of the murdered man, and charged the 
 
 *' circle " to hold themselves in readiness for the search at a 
 
 nioment's warning. 
 
 ■ At length he announced his positive discovery of the body, 
 minutely describing marks of violence upon it, and the wound 
 that proved the fatal stab. It was, ho said, in the lime-kiln, 
 alM)ut the middle thereof, and which was soon to be "fired," 
 nnd he commanded them to hasten, strong-handed and with all 
 despatch to the rescue, not only of the butchered victim, bat 
 also of the honor of "Spiritualism." Portentous moment! 
 that was to save the spiritualists from defeat and retrieve their 
 falling credit. 
 
 Again without delay a large concourse joined in solemn pro- 
 cession, proccedod to the kiln, when — horrible to behold! 
 — the same had been on fire for two days ! Not the slightest 
 doubt existed in the minds *of "the believers, but the kiln was 
 thus early fired for the purpose of consuming the body. Some 
 were for putting out the fire, but thtj owner interfused the 
 most strenmms remonstrance, which SubsWintiatod the fact be- 
 )'ond a question, that Amos was correct, and of course " Spir- 
 itualism " was triumphant. ' - ■ .' 
 
 1» 
 
 .. "^ 
 
• ^^f^» 
 
 V, 
 
 ■^ 
 
 X 
 
 206 
 
 Lucy IJohton 
 
 I„ the heat of their i.Kli;^nutiun at HU.h M-hUM batch. 
 cry, it wo« propoHcJ to tear down" the ^ciln, but th^ was iin. 
 practicable, as the .tonen .ore red hot. So.no thouKht .f th.y 
 only had Hon.o of the .alvc fVo.n the '« Hock of ViHinn to rub 
 on their hands it >vould make them fire-proof.' Others w<re . 
 confident .hat a nn.all plaster of it applied to the Hurface oT 
 the kiln would draw ....t alt the calorie and restore tl.o Hionen 
 to their nMural state in ten minutes 1 However, nVjtlu.r of 
 thee Bugjjcs.ions were folh.wcd, but the " circle," jouung 
 hands 'aroun.l,tho burning' pile, endeavored to eall back tho 
 spirit of the deceased ^nd obtain from it a " demonstrat.on" 
 of the whole truth, tg corroborate the virion of Amos and en- 
 rich their eauso with^dorious capital. • 
 
 But whether the .hade of the tax-gatherer could not stand 
 fire or tl.e snu.ko was ^ufioeating, 6r whatever the cau.e, no 
 .natter, their conjurations were vain. The spirifj-efused ... 
 appear, even as a witn^-^s against tho bloody assas^.ns who 
 drove it-froni its earthly habitation at the point of the dagger. 
 Strange Mlencc : and unaccountable, sayo on the supposition 
 that the c.lleelor was brdnHrby the murderers to keep the 
 secret; in other wmds, that he was himself an accomplice of 
 the direful deed, both before and after tlu' fact. This, it n.u.t 
 be eonle^sed, is the only ,(aso,o,Uc solution of the nnheaid-, T 
 
 aminialy. 
 
 Thus covered with repeated defeat, the "circle" -let ^o 
 : hands," to re.ieut in dismay, when a Medium — yelej.ed Z. 
 
 of the old ones 
 
 Socrates N .z/lenum (< 
 
 ■h 
 
 tin 
 
 «r !^i 
 
 lently 
 
 (in a s 
 
 tt.ne, a short distance apart — era 
 
 d out, 
 
 with scpnlehral tone 
 
 . "Fo- 
 
 man, roji 
 
 " Shoi 
 
 alists; " 
 
 capo dcti 
 
 the visio 
 
 see (iottbi 
 
 vcfttcd a 
 
 lcs» to b( 
 
 Tho new 
 
 was unal 
 
 he able U 
 
 A smc 
 
 Truly 
 
 vciopmcn 
 
 " circle" 
 
 exclaimec 
 
 " I sm( 
 
 not too ni 
 
 eyes arc 
 
 donhh', a 
 
 dealer; b 
 
 is one — 
 
 single is 
 
 nose, 1 sa 
 
 m\\i the ; 
 
 not, at yo 
 
 He woi 
 
 t('riiT > l(> fi 
 
P O L L I i; H (. V T il K X I X V II (! K N T II n Y . 207 
 
 » «< Fo — fi — fo — I'uin. I smell llio flo^h of the inurJond 
 man, rontitiup in tho lime kil — »/«." 
 
 " Shock in J,' ( honiblo I /«///«/(///" exclaimed the Spiriiu- 
 nlists; " did assassins ever before resort to such shifts to es- 
 cnpo detcctiou? But they were ferreted out ut last. Though 
 the vision of , Amos was a litllc imperfect, and caused him, to 
 B€0 (hubfi', the fl/z/z/Vs were not to bo foiled. They had in-r 
 vested a member of tho "" circle " with a J«piritual ^oa*-, doubt- 
 less to bo used in connection with Funglehcad's Fpiritual eyo. 
 Tho new system was noAv perfected, fur what Amos tho Seer 
 was unable to boo, Z. Socrates Nozzlcman, tho smeller, would 
 be able to smell I .\ ^ 
 
 A »mcUinij ]NIodiuni ! ! 
 
 Truly this was'a new •'manifestation" — a progressive de- 
 velopment— the l.i^hest incarnation of <' Si>irituali.im," Tho 
 " circle" were in transports, when suddenly the smelJer again 
 exclaimed- — 
 
 "I smell that Funglehcad doth not. see straight. Place yo 
 not too much reliance upon eyes, neither upon spectacles. Tho 
 eyes arc two, so arc specs, therefore they arc liable to sj^ 
 cJonhh', and that which is double, is deceitful — as double- 
 dealer; but the nose, on the other hand (on the face, I moan), 
 is one — therefore it always smcUeth suujlo^ and that which is 
 single is free from deception — as single-heartedness. The 
 noscyl s;iy to ye, is the only sure Medium of comniunTcation 
 with the Spirit-Land. Give yo car to my words. IJelieve ye 
 
 not, at your peril, l say ye — a— -oo-^ ." * 
 
 He would have added something, but was prevented by 
 toriihle fit of votnitim 
 
 occa t ^iontHl bv the oau.<cating udur es- 
 
 ■'ii-' 
 
 t\ 
 
«> 
 
 # 
 
'^'■•BW^pn 
 
 208 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 caping from the bowels of the lirae-kiln. The High Priest of 
 Spiritualism wa"^ superseded — the Funglehead Dynasty ended ! 
 It was impossible for the circle to resist the force of this new 
 
 "demonstration." 
 
 "Is not his arguing true ? Does not experience prove it ?" 
 reasoned they with each other. " For how njany times have 
 our eyes deceived us, but otlr noses never! We may look at 
 an object, but cannot always tell whether it is substance or 
 shadow, reality -or imagination. But what we meZ/ we /c«oi(; 
 is a matter of fact. That is to say^^a person may be double- 
 sightcd, but he cannot be double-scented. Hence the admo- 
 nition so often heard, < Believe not all you see j'" but who was 
 ever told to believe not what he sniqlls? , 
 
 "And do not facts uphold the same," cpptioued they. "The 
 < visions' of Amos Funglchead the Seer are sufficient evidence. 
 Thrice hath he assured us We should find the corpse as he saw 
 and described it, and tjirice have wc proved h\m false. Bcpther 
 Socrates hath once declared where it is — and see ! his stomach 
 hath hoven up the ' demonstration' of his actual ' communica- 
 tion' with the body. Who can doubt such testimony? Let 
 ' Scepticism now grow pule and hide Its rampant head?'? 
 
 Thus reasoned the spiritists. Z. I^ocratcs Nozzleman was at 
 once ensphered the central luminary in the spiritual finVment, 
 and in whose brightness every other light was swallowed up or 
 
 shone but dimly. « 
 
 The disciples of Funglchead crowded around their new 
 leader (who sat "resting liis head upon his hands), declaring 
 the manifestation to be so powerful that it made them all " feel 
 more or less qualmish." - t^ 
 
 ■'^: ' ■ 
 
Follies ui im: XIXth Century. 1^09 
 
 Elated by tho encunious stride ttius made in the science of 
 spiritoLogy, they deculcd to reorganize a smelling circle forth- 
 mthf and to reject all others as spurious and unreliable. 
 
 Z. Socrates, at once^, the true embodiment and great apostle 
 of Spiritualism, overcome with retching, vras removed to a car- 
 riage, and still complaining of a deathly nausea, a " sister '^ of 
 the circle very kindly sat by his side, plying him with fan and 
 smelling bottle — spiritual ones,!-we suppose. His stomach, 
 though continuing " riled " for some time, at length became' 
 ' composed, and the mighty Smeller was himself again. 
 
 All hope of recovering the remains of the deceased was now 
 at an end. The fate of the collector was regarded as settled, 
 by all except the "unbelievers," The story of his murder 
 and the burning of the body as a holocaust to the Demon of 
 i Avarice, was added to the list of tragedies and given to the 
 wdrld as current history, when, wonderful to be told ! he 
 suddenly "turned up," not spiritually, but bodily, a living 
 evidence of optical illusion and perverted smell. His return 
 to his friends, as may well be imagined, changed their agony 
 of suspense into overflowing joy. * 
 
 But consternation filled the Spiritualists. It was evident, 
 they wei-e either deceivers or deceived. Their "manifestations," 
 so far from inspiring public confidence, were not only looked[ 
 upon with suspicion, but treated with derision by an incredu- 
 lous community. Especially the seeing and smelling Mediums 
 were held in "bad odor." " Spiritualism" was on the wane. - 
 
 The zealots were in sore extremity. They had met with 
 signal discomfiture. A bold stroke must be made to wipe out 
 the disgrace and revive their sinking credit. 
 
 18*- ::■■ [:• 
 
210 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 Presently it was announced that the spirits had called a 
 mass-meeting of the Mediums to explain the mystery of what 
 appeared to be either an honest mistake or wilful deception, 
 and which by a perverse construction of their enemies was 
 hazarding the interests, the existence even.of spiritology. 
 
 The time and place of the proposed meeting were specified 
 with great particularity. 
 
 Punctual to the call, Belieyers and Infidels, a goodly num. 
 her were assembled, and prominent among whom was Amoa 
 
 Funglehead. « The spirits," said brother B , " haye adopted 
 
 a new method of * manifestation' somewhat pecttliar, but no 
 matter how they may communicate, it is all for the best. If 
 theychooseto make a mis-statement, there is a good motive at 
 the bottOta, and 'no one has any right to call it in question." 
 
 This waS'TCceived witlj marked satisfaction by the members 
 of the "circle," especially by Amos. . . 
 
 Silence for awhile ensued, when it was proposed tqr.lng a" 
 song of harmony, but the spirits not giving the key, it was 
 
 imitted. 
 ' Brother (\; , with solemn dignity, befitting the occasion, 
 
 arose and said — - *• ' - . 
 
 "This meeting doth call to iny mind a congregation of 
 Quakers. I would like to hear the 'members' relate what 
 * manifestationsithey have had during the last week." 
 
 « We speak' you to be quiet," interrupted Amos, vehemently, 
 who had been sitting mute, but ^ith distorted features and 
 nervous twitchings, proving him to be .the Medium of some 
 powerful " demonstration." " If ye cannot be quiet we will 
 everlastingly withdraw. A power sways us which individuality 
 
 / 
 
Follies OF the XIXtii Oentury 211 
 
 cannot long endure. Wc are possessed. Spirit thoughts, and 
 ideas and volitions,' are pouring in upon iHe with such dreadful 
 pressure, that unless the audience are attentive and candid, so 
 I can communicate, it will be^mpossible to hear it. Let the 
 mimndid leave the house, as we cannot speak fluently withouC 
 universal candor. The subject to bo considered is spiritual 
 influence. Again we bid those who cannot appreciate our 
 spiritual discourse to withdraw, or we (the spirits) will eternally ■ 
 withdraw from the presence of mankind. 
 
 " The spirit came here to communicate upon a certain point, 
 but is obliged to postpone it because the minds of this assembly 
 are diseased, and there is a want of candor. • 
 ► ' " You can form no idea of the amount of thought the spirit 
 infuses into me. We repeat, the -topic which we came here to 
 speak upon ^e cannot discuss for want of candor. But at 
 some future time we will give twelve lectures of four hours 
 each, and at the erid'of which, the spirit will reveal who he is. 
 Sobriety distinguished him on earth, as his friends can testify, 
 and in the Spheres he retails his ^personal identity. Hence, 
 every thing likJ^evity and sport he takes as a direct insult. N- 
 
 "Do you suppose the Medium^nisane ? Locrk at the action 
 of lunatics, and then at mine. If^you discover no insanity in 
 the Medium, then listen with cant/on 
 
 " Will some one ask candid questions that they may receive 
 a spiritual, candid answer ?" 
 
 Question — by a member of the "circle." "What is the 
 motive power of the system V 
 
 Answer (by ithe spirits — entirely origmal). "Eternal 
 principle of thought." * , 
 
 ~ < 
 
212 
 
 *LucY Boston. 
 
 i-r-^ 
 
 Question. « \Yhy is it, that there arc but three- besidoa 
 Mediums that have seen the seventh Sphere ?" 
 ^ Ansiccr. « AVill answer Ut a future time, when the spirit can 
 be camUcUi/ Ucard." The last reply'callcd forth a tremendous 
 burst of spiritual applause. , , - 
 
 « We hold individuals by a power they knows not of," added 
 the Medium, in a monitory tone. " We have ^ndeavored to- 
 . lead tlie audience to reflection and candor. Therefore beware !" 
 Thus spake Ihe spirit through its mouth-piece, AmosFuogle- 
 Ifead, and took its exit, leaving him again to mingle wiUf 
 mortals for a season, promising, however, that when he could 
 be mmZ/V^^ heard, he should, by the permission and aid of the 
 Spirits," mate some remarkable revelations.' 
 ' The meeting (held on Sabbath evening) was (Jeemed of such 
 importance, and productive of so great good, that_ by the ad- v 
 vice of the spirits the same was adjourned to the succeeding ' 
 ' Sabbath, in the hope that a <:a»«?trf audieiice would bo in jjt- 
 tendance — also that the superstitious and misguided who were 
 accustomed to squander their Sunday's at church, might be 
 prevailed upon to forsake that foolish custom, and adopt .the 
 r method of tqlegrJiphing directly to the Spirit^Land, a speedy 
 ■and accurate way, so greatly preferable to the circumlocution , 
 and dull monotony of thc,pulpit. - . . ■' , 
 
 Thus Fuiiglehcjid, the quondum High Priest, made a success- ' 
 ful rally torctri^jve his feinking fbrtimes and redeem Spirituat- 
 ism for reproach. - . ■ ., 
 
 .We are sorry to be obliged to add, that the adjourned m^et- 
 ing proved a failure,, as the spirits \fere 'unable, to attend, in 
 consequence of the inclemency of the weather. 
 
i 
 
 / 
 
 Chaptbr ^v 
 
 II. 
 
 ■^n^ 
 
 v 
 •v 
 
 i -v / ' *^Speak to inol V. 
 
 > •for 1 have called on th<!e in tho still night, 
 
 Started the slumVoring likds from tile hushed boughs, 
 *• "~^' ' And woke the mountain wolves and made the uavea 
 -:■ Acquainted with tliy vainly-echoed name, 
 
 Which annwcr'd mo — many things answer'd mc — -'':'' 
 
 Spirits and mod— but tlKuwcrMlcnt still." ".„|r- .-^ 
 
 DOCTOR Uadger and his landlady, accoiupanic^ by jMias 
 Boston, and two others of tha " strong-minded/' returned ' 
 home. The arrival of such a force, took Wilson fioraewhat by 
 surprise; but as they were invited guests of his wife and the 
 ^Doctor's, and in ore* especially in anticipation of a " rich time," •'' 
 he received thcni with grca^t cordiality and politenoss. *- 
 
 A mesmeri'Q affinity, an astrological conjunction, or some 
 other cause, hidden in the depths of nature, led Wilson and . 
 Miss Boston,'in particular, to form a ready and familiar acquain- / 
 taiice. Pleasantries were the "'order of the day,." and it was 
 difficult to decide 'Which of- the two chainpions bore the palm 
 in their tjlts of wit and humor. 
 
 Among other qualities belnngiiig to the personal identity of 
 
 Miss B , Wilson expressed lireat admiration of her cos- 
 
 trlihe, and beset his wife to 0(>(t her female regalia proper and^ l 
 don the bloouier, as the latest, if not the rich-est fashion. This - 
 she wa.< not quite ready to do,; but,, said she, "would be in 
 a-litrte while ; as soon as the electinn \\as over, if not befbre." 
 / .-• - " ' V \ , (213) • 
 
 ^ — -_ , . , , 
 
 > V- ■ -V v . - V ■ ■ - ^ ■/■'■■■ ' ^^' V.' ■.■■.■:"-■■. 
 
 
2li 
 
 L u c V Boston. 
 
 ^ 
 
 Bills were struck oiT by the village prinj^ (" money makes 
 tbe mare go"), announcing a iheeting in favor of " woman's 
 rights/' to bo bold on the following day but one," at Aca- 
 /demic Hall. The rffttices were " posted " and scattered in all di- 
 rections. The school " marms " of the respective distticts, by 
 request, instructed their scholars to tell their parents (irtd every 
 bo(3y they should meet on the road. 
 
 The same day, several jjcrsons applied to Wilson for board. 
 
 They , could be accommodated, he said, in every way except 
 lodging, and that thoy could have as soon as the visitors should 
 . leave — a very indefinite period, he confessed — - since his guests 
 belonged to the "woman/s rights" party; and among other im- 
 munities claimed by them (and which he most cheerfully 
 granted), was the right to visit when tUey please, wHere tli£y 
 please, and as long as they please. 
 
 The Doctor, advij-ecl of the state of^aflfairs, kindly offered to 
 
 . rtlinquish his roohi to 3Iiss Boston trnd suite, during iheir 
 
 stay. "As for hiipsclf, he was willing," he said, "for so short 
 
 a time, to sleep upon the sofa, or go to the neighbors, or do 
 
 most atiy way, rutlior th:ui have Mrs. Wilson lose the,prM)oscd 
 
 lo:ird«*r.s." Hlio fin:i]'v informed them that they could have 
 
 '■■.■' 
 rooms, as they wishca to remain permanently. 
 
 '^hs. W ^ introduced licr visitors to the Doctor's apart- 
 ment, \\'hich she informed, them was the- idcnfical spot whtre 
 ^he spirit appeared and prophesied. Jn rotiriyjr f t tlio ni^lit, 
 ]N^s3 B-- — ^*s companions evidently betrayed simis of iumvous- 
 ness. Though naturally free from superstition, they could not 
 hf'1]vfiiM.'viiitr thoy paw apparitions every moment. Not a flitting 
 'fchaJuw, liur uiiii;]^ uuiao, but to their sensitive imaginations 
 
 ■^J,„ 
 
 \ 
 
 
 
^■'¥'' 
 
 V0LLIE8 o.fe TUiE XlX'fii CenturYv 215 
 
 *»i*.. 
 
 was either a ghost or hobgoblin.' The house was surely 
 haunted. ' Not so, Miss Blostou. Hor nerves were undisturbed, 
 save by a feverish anxiety to see the spirit of the Mermaid, 
 which she hoped and prayisd might appear to her. But thjS 
 silent watche3, when specters and witches arc abroad, glided 
 darkly by, and her eyes, though longing for the sight, were 
 not greeted with even the shade of a," manifestation." 
 
 The following day, Doctor Badger called upon the occupants, 
 pro tempore, of his own quarters. By the power of associa- 
 tion, conversation naturally turned upon the topic of the Mer- 
 maid. Graphic was tUoKdcscription which the revelator gave 
 connected with the advent. And they were^ in 
 t)jeilauntcd» room ! The man who saw, and heard, and felt 
 the miracle, himself stood before them ! What a reality ! 
 What reflections it awakened ! What sacred awe it inspired ! 
 It was almost like lifting the curtain thai hides the Spirit- 
 Worldf • ■ 
 
 The timid inmates of the " haunted chamber " (as they called 
 it), wrought upon by the recent narrative tiU their imaginations 
 Bwarmed with specters, took the greatest care to guard against 
 all ghostly intrusions. The room was carefully searched, in 
 the closet, behind the fire-board, and "under the bed-^— e-vfiry 
 door find \Vindnw was tirmly locked,' boHcd, and nailed, before 
 they dn red to lay their heads upon their pillows. 
 
 Miss B rallied them for their childish fear^. Sh<^ was 
 
 herself a stranger to any such emotions, too " strong-minded *' to 
 be troubled about witch^ and too much of a " Spiritualist" to 
 stand in dread of ghosts. Her only fear was that^^he Mermaid 
 would not appear. She could imagine no gaod reason why the 
 
216 
 
 L C C Y Ji O S T U N 
 
 \ 
 
 1 
 
 t 
 
 spirit miglit not manifest itself to her that night. Surely it 
 m\\, thought she, if it only considers my anxiety, the purity 
 of my motives, and the welfare of our cause. She had a 
 strong and growing presentiment thdther ho^e- would bo 
 
 realized. 
 
 Again, Night stretched forth her " leaden scepter," calling 
 mortals to the land of dreams. Badger, with genuine philan- 
 thropy and stoic fortitude, took his bachelor's berth op the 
 parlor sofa. The "silent watches" had begun their round, 
 and he was " dropping off to sleep," when (audible to him^ 
 alone) broke upon his ear. « Awake! arouse l" His eyes 
 flew open, not with fright but joyful surprise,— for there she 
 stood the personification of ideal beauty. 
 
 «]yiisa "(Boston he waa going to shout)— and his 
 
 strained optics gazed on vacancy! In feverish dispense he 
 "watched for her return, till nature exhau.sted,. he was relapsing 
 into a drowse, as again the voice rung in his ear — 
 
 "Awake! awake!"" 
 
 «|llrg. -" ^as on his.lips, and again the spirit vanished." 
 
 Amazed and disappointed, he lay cogitating on the freakistness 
 of his amphibious acquaintance, when, like aflash of moonlight 
 darting into his presence, she forestalled his utterance, tjftis : 
 
 ' "Hold! man, thy tongue! If I to womankind 
 
 Desired to speak— think'st thou I knew it not? 
 
 My present mission is alone to <Ace. ' 
 
 Thy actions have I seen, and marked them well, 
 
 Aafaithful thou hast been to' my behest. 
 
 To thy apartment thrice I've been unseen, ^ 
 
 This night, and hither do I come, to praise 
 
- .-^ 
 
 ■\/- 
 
 Follies op the XIXth 
 
 ENTURY. 217 
 
 Tliy firm fidelity against tlio arts « 
 Of that ambitious woman, whhao sole aim 
 It is, upon the wavo of popular. 
 
 Reform t9 ride, as queen, to quectol^ rank 
 And fame, which for myself I cluiirf and thee. 
 
 As^thou hast been, bo steadfast to thy trust, 
 Thisspeaklfrora the Spirit-LAnd — adieu;" ^ 
 
 and With one flourish of her finny extremity, phantom-like, she 
 disappeared. ' 
 
 Badger, like a monomaniac, rushing to his room to deliver 
 the tidings to Miss Boston,, assaulted the door with great vio- 
 lence, but she having the capacity of sleeping soundly did not 
 hear him. Not thus her companions. Their thoughts teem. 
 
 ' ing with spirits making sleep "har<| to catch," they were "all 
 eye, all ear," as at the first rap on the door, with a half sup- 
 pressed shriek, they sought escape from dangoj. by burying 
 their heads under the bedclothes. Loud and yet louder echoed 
 the mysterious knockings, while our brave Reformers (!) clung 
 to each other, speechless and almost breathless, with fright at 
 this " demonstration " of a Rapping Spirit. 
 
 Miss Boston's slumbers remained oblivous, sleep's "poppied 
 warmth " having sealed her eyelids! With indoihkaW/per- 
 severance our bachelor Medium redoubled his knocks with such 
 determined vigor as to arouse Mrs. and Mr/ Wilson ; she, af. 
 frighted, imagined thieves tojhave gained access to the house. 
 A repetition of tfte out'of-seJfn disturbance set Wilson upon 
 search for the causa, which was soon discovered, and discharging 
 a well-aimed voUe^ of wit at the old bachelor, he returned and 
 
 reported the result'of his researches to his wife. 
 
 19 — . — — ^-^ 
 
 ^ 
 
s. 
 
 218 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 In opt>oaltiou to the rcmoi.Htrances of her husband, she 
 Btartcd to ndrainister summary discipline upon the disturber of 
 ber house, whom she met, and ^^h^ for once, getting the stait 
 of her tongue, said — 
 
 '< Mrs. Wilson, I've seen the spirit ogain." 
 
 .*' Have you?" - . 
 
 ■ "Ycsl" , ■ , , . J. 
 
 "Where?" , 
 
 " In the parlor, — toll Miss Boston j quick." 
 
 Away she bounded, and fell to pounding and kicking, and 
 
 rattling tb6 door, crying— , 
 
 " 3Iiss Boston ! Miss Boston !" 
 
 « What is- it?" asked .she, at length aroused. , 
 
 "Mf Badger sees the Metmuid !" exclaimed the news- 
 bearer, with agitation. > 
 
 "Oh dear ! oh — dear 1 " uttered the two " strong-mmded," 
 in a half-smothered tone, still buried in the blankets. 
 
 I.ucy fastening td the parlor, with the utmost despatch, 
 Badger related to her what had occurred. . • 
 
 « that I could have been here VI said she. " Why did 
 you not instantly call me, Mr. Badger?" 
 
 '« I was going to," replied he J "but before I could speak 
 the very first Icttei' of your n^me, .it was out ol sight every 
 
 time." ' 
 
 Feeling a strong presentiment of its reappearance, she pro- 
 posed to take his place'on tl^^ sofa, and so by stratagem obtain 
 a sight of the being which h^d so pertinaciously avoided her. 
 ',. The'' Doctor-gallantly consented, and as a dernier resort for a 
 couch, sought and occupied the lounge in the sitting room. 
 
I 
 
 •f.t t'^- 
 
 Follies op tVe XIXtii Century. 219 
 
 -^ 
 
 ]Mis8 ]i — — speedily followed, not in the " footiitcps," but the 
 
 resting place of her " illustrious predecessor." 
 
 Scarcely had she closed her eyes in pretended slunibcr, when 
 
 greeted with, " I come again, man, with words of cheer to- 
 
 thee, upd " 
 
 Of Uio aquatic speaker proceeding thus, Miss B -(^| peep-" 
 
 ing through her half-opened eyelids, caught a glance, and but 
 a glance, when the deluded spirit,, discovering the fraud, in- 
 stantly assumed a horrid aspect, iind with a t6rriGc shriek , 
 darted spitefully into invisibility. , 
 
 Miss Boston had seen the spirit of the Mermaid I But why 
 should it leave her so abruptly in a huff? And would it not 
 return 't " . 
 
 .Revolving these queries in her mind, 9ur heroine, to court 
 anew " manifestation," again' closed her *yc3 in mock sleep, 
 when her hopes were realized in the salutatiok — ' / 
 
 ' •' Awake ! thou mortal f/ood and bad, awake ! Since thou 
 mystlf hast kenn'd, although by trick, felonious ; more Shalt 
 thoa see and hear. Ope wide thine eyes, behold me now ^nd 
 list!" ; • V ■-•- .. -.' - - ■ 
 
 " Lo ! what a metamorphosis ! Hdfi- scales and hair erect, her 
 broad fins spread, and eyes like balls, of firej she stood the per- / 
 sonification of Fury infuriated, and thus continued — • , / 
 
 / 
 
 **0, woman, tliinke^thou I know thee not? 
 Thy synijiiitliy urul zeal for the oppressed? 
 Why drdSt thou seelj; in heart of man to'lodge 
 Th6 disbelief 6f iny own entity, 
 ^yhen him I brought in timely aid to^tljee?' 
 'T was wicked guile, and hence my present shape. 
 
 T*": 
 
 .VT~ 
 
220 Lucy Boston. ^ 
 
 I)o«t Bco ftnd hear mo now ? Then doubt no inor«, 
 
 Nor dar« ftgftin thy Btnitogoms repeat, 
 
 Lest h^ply I, In f<)rm more ugly corao, t 
 
 And, like •• ten furlou," M""' 'Ueo night and day." 
 
 In u twinkling, resuming ficr former appouranco — 
 
 " ,; "Behold mo now, for what in thee Is good, __ _. 
 .'; 1 Our cause iB just and will prevail — 'Qvii^^* 
 The motto on thy Blileld of faith— adieu." 
 
 She Bpako-and mcltcJ into air. The Mermaid was a 
 fixed fact! So was the prophecy; and of course its fuifiU- 
 ment xmuA be equally as fixed in future. 
 
 Girded with new strength and fitcd with ftresh zealroun»c^ 
 
 roine was now fully panoplied. Henceforth she could boldly 
 
 plead in aid of the Reform, tjie proof of its divinity, bused 
 
 . not upon inoculation nor testimony, but het own "firm, unal- 
 
 \ terable experience," and repeating to herself,^' Our came is 
 
 Just and tcill prevail," she fell asleep. . „: : 
 
 Her companions scarcely shut their eyes the live-long night, 
 no less curious to sec, yet afraid to move lest they should he 
 
 hold a sheeted ghosfc. • -*'- '-:'''.■ . ~-*^ 
 
 ' Mining came. To report the meeting of the inmates of 
 the boarding-house is needless. Imagination can supply thfts ■. 
 omission. It is enough to say that each spoke well their part, ' 
 especially Wilson, than whom none ever saw ^ ^ t 
 
 J ^ -,__-. . _,^_1 «t A merrier man '...^^ . ^. . ,. . 
 
 •^ 
 
 ■' AY i thin the limits of becoming mirth.*' 
 
 The chief object of Mrs. Wilson iu having the "strong- 
 
Follies or the XIXtii Centuhv. 221 
 
 minded " return with her, wus the convoruion of her husband 
 to the " good cause." . 
 
 They flaw, at a glance, what sort of stuff tio was made of* — 
 
 ♦ «« Uaro compound of wMlty, flrolio and tunl 
 
 Who relished a joke, and rejoiced in a pun 
 
 Whoso temper was generous, open, Binccro ; ,5 
 
 ^ A stranger to flatt'ry, a strnngor to fear ; J 
 
 -V Who scattered around, wit and Jiumor at will; __ — ^1^^ L_ 
 
 Whoso daily io/ia ^o^s half a column might fill." ♦ 
 
 rrudcnco tcuclillij!; ilicm not to draw hlui into open cmcmn- 
 tcr, they finally, by dint of argument and exhortation comliriod, 
 persuaded their over-zealous hostess that what could not bo 
 gained by force, must bo compassed, by generalship, and so tho"!, 
 line of policy with respect to her chivalric lord was clear. They* 
 must amuse him and retain his good-will until the revolution 
 should be consummated. Then must the jolly heretic subniit f 
 
 or suffer. One thing at any tato was very gratifying. 
 
 If they could not win him over to their ranks, neither could 
 ho stop the lleform. Horses and carriage "summoned," the 
 Koforrocrs took.a " turn " into tho country, accompanied by 
 ;their incorrigible hos|i*i' 
 
 All were in tho best of spirits, save Misa B 'a room com- ^^--^ ^ 
 
 panions, whose duUnbss, red eyes, and frequent yawning betrayed 
 
 their last night's- vigils. Their excursion was enlivened by 
 pleasant anecdote 'and sportive jest, Wilson ever and anon 
 exclaiming, " Huzzah for Spirit Knockings and Woman'a 
 Rights 1 Thatsuit you,my duck? You're my candidate, you 
 know — I aiways go the ' straight ticket,^ sol suppose I belong 
 to the party — a regukr ^turncoat.' Ilurrah for my wife and ^ 
 * woman's rights'" — -and the like. ' 
 
•• 
 
 % 
 
_^l 
 
 ■■■':.■ ::/'. / .■•■■■, ■■■■■■ 'r-'-x. 
 
 .''You win be taken care of in due time, sir," said Mi.^s • 
 13oston;;in a prophetic tone. 
 
 Mrs. Wilson was sanguine that ber husband would he con- 
 verted. All thought his case a hopeful one, and congratulated 
 each other on the prospective accession to their strength. 
 
 Well timed, ^^ / 
 
 «♦ The tocsin of the sold —the dinner bTell !" ^ 
 
 greeted the return of the trovpe whose inner and outer man 
 and uoman were capacitated amply to relish the continuous 
 « feast of fat things." The afternoon vaned — our fair Tle- 
 . formers made preparation for the public meeting in the evening. 
 At an early hour the littfe village filled up with all sorts of 
 people, flowing intft it from all directrons and in all sorts of 
 
 style. c 
 
 Academic Hall proving much too straight for the multitude, 
 they adjourned to the yard in front illumined, by the combined 
 light of Reform and the fulkmoon ! In organizing, a spirited 
 contest took place in the election of a chairwoman, there being 
 two opposing candidates, Mrs. Wilson «nd the editor's wife. 
 ^ After a smart canvass theiatter was declared chosen, though 
 hy a very close vote. Our landlady stood, or sat, the next in 
 
 official rarik. 
 
 As a prelude to the exercises, the village band, having vol- 
 unteered their services, played with great gusto — 
 " TJicre's a good time coming, girls." 
 One of Miss Boston's traveling companions opened the meet- 
 ing il^ a brief, neat address, showing what the relative position 
 of^the sexes had been, and defining what it should be. To the 
 - mass, her ideas were, for the most part, entirelj^ new. 
 
 %' 
 
Follies op the XIXtii Century. 223 
 
 Lucy was then introduced as chief speaker of the evening. 
 She was glad, she said, to appear before the honest yeomanry 
 and yeo-uoma«r^ of the country. It was there that virtue 
 dwelt. She was under the open, free vault of nature's great 
 temple, and which, thank Heaven, man could not monopolize. 
 Was the air formed more to fan the lungs of man than of 
 woman? Does earth send forth her fountains more to slake 
 his thirst than hers ? And shall not her mind and muscles be 
 held as sacred and as free ? From this point the speaker pro- 
 ceeded to establish the equality and identity of all human 
 rights'; civil, social and domestic. 
 
 Her speech was every way worthy of herself and the cause. 
 Loud cheers attested that she had made a decided " AiV." Nor 
 was noise the only fruit of her effort. The- few who had not 
 signed the petition, did so at once, pledging fidelity to tlie Re- 
 form. A vote was passed on the spot, quite unanimously, to 
 support the "woman's rights'* ticket at the forthcoming'elec-" 
 tion. ■ 
 
 Miss Boston said it was part of her business to give those 
 an opportunity, who wished to subscribe for The Brooms their 
 campaign paper, which would be issued weekly at the Capitol 
 until the close of election. 
 
 Great was the rush of subscribers. In that quarter all things 
 were rife for revolution. 
 
 "Wilson said he hoped they "would have a good time of it.'* 
 
 The following day Miss Boston and attendants took their 
 leave, escorted some distance on their way by Doctor Badger. 
 They separated, the former to prosecute their missiqn, the Ijitter 
 returned to"1iis " boarding-place." ^ 
 
*" M-;f*B 
 
 -■v;.; 
 
 ,#: 
 
 CHAPTEE XVin. 
 
 " « What fates Impow, that men must neods abide; 
 
 It booU not to WBiBt both wind and tide » 
 
 THE reader \vill recollect the departure of Miss Boston 
 the terms of her published bill, in her tangent movement, 
 in quest of the kermaid, and, as she supposed, the consequent 
 disappointment of several large audiences. ]3ut Rev. Mr. Q , 
 ^ the abrupt seceder, prompted by philanthropy or sOme other 
 
 ■'^ motive, had himself fulfilled each appointment, making eloquent^ 
 
 appeals in behalf of the rights of woman, and i^ith favorable 
 results, notwithstanding the fanatical miscarriage of our fair 
 reformer and the disappointment^of the people in losing the 
 :--^ - -novelty and pleasure of seeing the person, and witnessing the 
 eloquence of the fascinating Bloomer. 
 
 We might stop here to vindicate, or at least palliate the con- 
 duct of our heroine, in her apparent want of moral sense, in 
 forsaking her engagements. We will only say, that "toerr, i^ 
 human." Minds the strongest, and souls the most ingenuous,- 
 are liable to be thrown from theirT)alance. But a single error, 
 . however great, if repented of and not repeated, should easily 
 
 \ ' be forgiven. " " '■■- \ . 
 
 ; Miss Boston came to hers^f again. On consulting her 
 "bill," with the view of ,jecleeming the remainder of her 
 '(224) '-> •• \ '^' ^ '■'^^'■^- ■ '" 
 
 V" 
 
 
 
■ A- 
 
 Follies op the XIXth Century. t226 
 
 pledges, she found herself in time to iCltend the great state 
 convention, to be held on the fourth of July following. 
 ' In every quarter, throughout the state, was heard th& din of 
 preparation. At length, the ever-to-be-remembered fourth of 
 July^ eighteen hundred seventy-six, came. It wm a glorious 
 mollllHr. The sun dashed forth in all his splendor dver th« 
 cilppif^ upon Austcrlitz, the harbinger of victory. Coaches, 
 carriages, earts and every other available vehicle, laden wlih 
 delegates; horsemen, horsewomen, and^ pedestrians ;m|Cl$^ 
 and daughters, grand-mothers and grandMjaughters, ci^nind 
 rustic; a miscellaneous aggregate o{ qtiality and inequality f 
 enveloped with clouds of dust, crowded the high-ways and by- 
 ways. Locomotives, screaming and thundering, rushed to the 
 depots, wit^ their extra mammoth trains. SteamboaHi and 
 . ^^ther craft, large and small, sunk to the water's edge beneath 
 their living freight, choked the river channel for miles above 
 
 If 
 
 and below the city. To complete the demonstration, chairSy 
 tables, t6te-e-t#tes, side-boards and every species of furnitiire 
 with feet or legs from two to four, animated by the spirits, in 
 sympathy with, if not the actual projectors of the political 
 refovm, and ambitious of precedence in the grand initiative, 
 sallied from parlor and kitchen, work-shop and ware-room, and 
 struck an a/}' ?tne, pell mell, through flood, field -and forest, 
 straining every nerve, Albany-ward ! From Champlain to the 
 ^louth of the Hudson, from Erie's waters to the St. Lawrence, 
 came the ''strong-minded" and cabinet-ware masses, pouring' 
 in upon the capitol, like an overwhelming deluge. The earth 
 trembled under the mighty movement. Particular rendezvous 
 there was none. It was impracticable, for in every diiMtioDi 
 
 /' 
 
>•» 
 
 • V 
 
 > . 
 
 • -f 
 
 h , 
 
 226 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 N 
 
 far as.the o^e cofitd reach, was on* dons, mass of womto, chil- 
 d«n, fuiniture and men. Muiic swelled its- Aost sr.rnng 
 
 \lmm. -Flags and petticoatsflapped" *«'"«"=«'• ;^'"*^"* 
 . boomng »f .gunsWd pealing of bell-metal! Such shouts and 
 hui^isMwentupfromtheseaof .oieesl The Very air be- 
 caieyoeai, andihe heavens reverberated ! Belfries annoUneod 
 thehourfor W^hmg i" g^-l d,|POhstration through llje 
 prineipaJ street*. Co&ing to' Ume, appeared the. officers > 
 ■ BetsefAnn, Boss, Grand Marshal of -the.day-a blopme^ 
 afterU.e8traitestsect,bestricieami\k-whitc charger-supported 
 
 by.Tabitha Topladjr, Keb'ecca KHer, Laeretia Oockb^fn and . 
 Henrietta- Homblower, assistant Marshals, together w.th an ^ . 
 ■indefinite number .of sub.Iterus,4H"bootea and spurred and- 
 
 horsed. ** ■. .- -'■'■■:-.,. ■--:■-'■•■■- 
 
 .','■■ '•■■'.■ ■ - " . ^ ■ ■ ■■; : "■'•'■■ ' ," .-»■■' . ■".■ 
 
 ; "After many strains^ and heaves, ' v 
 
 They.gotuptbesaddle^eaves, , , 
 
 ' Prom whence they vault^iuto the seat, ; 
 
 With so much* vigor, Btrength, and heat, 
 ■ * *. That they had almost tumbled over 
 
 With their own vreight, but did recover, 
 " ■ ^ By laying hold of beck and mane. 
 
 Which oft they us'd instead of reign.'* 
 
 - ' Fruitlessly the officersv essayed to form the procession, so 
 densely were they packed and .wedgedjnor could they movo 
 
 . Tfithout trampling numbers beneath their horses' foeL Rising 
 'aloft in their stirrups, the redoubtable, staff brand|Tied their 
 
 " weapons, and at the top of their slender, fominine voices,' vo- 1 
 
 ^iferated, "FaU into order, f^l into order," which did but ^ 
 
 increase, if possible, the disorder, i^ the mighty yam swayed ^ 
 
 ««■ 
 
 ■^f 
 
 ^,r 
 
 i^lMSFi^.^ 
 
,:a 
 
 N 
 
 r 
 
 )- ♦ 
 
 it"""" 
 
 4^ 
 
 m 
 
 /¥<. 
 
 > Foia|E.8 OR TIIK 'XIXtii C^ N T U R Y-r^ 2'i7 
 
 taimd fro likd the ^aves of the ocean. Force apd fortutt6<at . 
 length openled p, breach. The quick-sighted Marshal fici^ing 
 the luek^ moment, plCDuted — , ; v 
 
 "Music, strike up I crowcl fall into line axjcording tojtVo 
 
 7j«'/irf6t7?, and follow your leaders." * , " . ' ^ 
 
 ■ " •■' ,"' •''■«■" " '■ (' - ■* • *. ■ 
 
 It was like the conflicting rusli of, many. praters — collapsing, 
 , , r«bounding, chafing, twisting i^nd writhipg in alternate iin- 
 
 jpingement and repulsion. •Nevertheless, in the- Up^e iof time,^ 
 ' -by dint of extraordinary e:jer'tion and the lai^ of the spirits—- 
 • Cleopatra in particular — tlie,chadlib i^Kif'^ verging t0w{vrcls'-au. 
 equilibrium, was iiioulde^ into* tolerab|ef^«ihape', 5vh€n.»theprpdi-" 
 ' g!j>u3^()1umn nioVed-foFwand'Jn the. follftwiftff manner: • 
 1. (7/flntf Jl/arft/idfof-^he^day,- antl g^taff, With proud port, 
 dancing pluiines and drawris.words. ^. r ' ' ' , 
 
 *> i'. 2; Band pf.the Musfes,*und(ir the direction of Madam Fujrlc- 
 inan,'fifcp and drum ijfiajor. 4^union of \m usicians and combina- 
 tion of muMcal /m^)A^<?nVs5Bltogether tlriparillelc^ N'ext (0- 
 Mi» -Fanny Fiiiry-Finger, who "pouched the. light guitar "— 
 the leadidg instrument of the barid — ^was particularly promi- 
 nent Mrs. Thumpemhard, a very portly lady, and' the most ex- ' 
 traordinary Jase-dVummer^n .all America. » It' was truly aston- 
 ishing iwith 'what scieniific precision and.inMte.rly emphasis she 
 ■ made every, blow tell upon the deacon-skin.WLast, though not 
 l^ast, either in magnitude' or celebrity, was Auni? Philice, the 
 Ethiopian Minstreless, executing the iuost exquisite antics on ' 
 "-her ^^ajj^o; But we will not tantalize the reader by atteuipt- 
 -itfg an adequate deseription of that nj^jfil'.' Imagine'^ £<il the 
 conceivable sounds extraQtlve ancl extjEfrtable from metaj, wood, 
 
 ^/ 
 
 t* ^ •. 
 
 / 
 
 "^"^-^ 
 
 
 TWFT 
 
 
 :7'>- 
 
 
 \ ' 
 
 -il 
 
y 
 
 228 ^ ' Lucy IJosTUN. " \ 
 
 calfskin and Mne intestb.s, and you will have a ^.i^Udca - 
 of the magic execution of the Band o^ tlje MusCs. 
 
 % Standard Bearers, holding aloft and flaunting t6 the 
 . breeze an ensign, huge and unique, consisting of an enormous 
 
 serpent, of the Boa Constrictor species, on a field.;q./•^^■»^• 
 its position neither couchant, salient, r^orravrpant.hui ^vl.at. 
 iu heraldic terms, would pfohably he called tho hend-sMrr, ^ 
 as it lay in something of a half circle, with its he.d thrust out 
 / ' of one leg of a pair of pantaloons, and its tail out of the other. 
 
 From the sapient lips of her snakeship issued the mystic, ar- 
 
 morial motto, 
 
 "TH, EDE, VILTO, PA, Y." ; 
 
 These symbolical characters said to have been inscribed by 
 an amanuensis of the Spheres, it is not our province - even, 
 granting us the ability- to interpret, but ginng the facsimile, 
 opportunely: furnished us by a connoisseur artist, we leave it^ 
 for the reader, if possible, to decipher. ; ^ 
 
 4. Military. And first and foremost, directly under the^, 
 ample shadow of their talismanic standard, the Bare Bosom 
 Battalion, a set of rosy-cheeked^ cherry-lipped, luseious-look- 
 in- lasses as man ever fastened eyes on, formed upon a model 
 for speedy execution, and -as their appellation indicates - 
 free, fearless, and brave. Their arm^ of nature's own fash- 
 
 ' ionin^, as yet Tin-battered or begrimed by campaign exposure, 
 but soon to assume the gallant port of actual service, possessed 
 
 " a polish so perfect, as at the first glance of their sheen, to be- 
 dizzen and paralyze the sterner foe. Once to aim their true 
 4iinme (eye) balls at a poor ffeUow, was to annihilaee him. 
 
 4 * 
 
 '"' : *'. 
 
 
 'iMi: ■■ 
 
 ■ ■•■'M,- 
 
 ^i!U^,:'\i 
 
• 1. ;-;,•. n 
 
 3' . 
 
 
 • ■ 
 
 I ■ 
 
 ■*', ■ 
 
 ■' \ 
 
 
 >. 
 
 F L L4 E S O-F T HW X I X T ll C E N T U U Y . 220 
 
 "Quick work, without waste of uiiHuuniti m," was their watch- 
 word; ,whilfc, in elcmcpcy to their victims, thoy were careful 
 never to plant their charge elseVhero than plump in the heart. 
 \ Tli^cir distinctive banner, crimson, silk, embellished with golden 
 ^tassels, and interwovtjn for device, a youthful cavalier, upnn 
 his knees, in an imploring attiti^dc, at the feet of a djimsel, 
 un^er the protecting wgis of a swooping American eagle. 
 - Motto :" iroman'a /?/V///^s- — NoQuartc^r.'^' — 
 
 5. Blue -Stocking BoT/Vkrs, composed' of staid spinsters, 
 rtall, lean, and lank, -evidently fitted for long marches, hard fiiro 
 'and great enduraniSe, yet looking dejeetedjWo-begone. Whether 
 ot not their upiform was symbolical, we cannot say'; but their 
 boots were green; * their jackets and trowsers covered with /a 
 profusion of green cord and lacejJepatulets, knatpsacksj and 
 cartouch boxes the same; and lastly j as a feort of topgallant, 
 td complete the climax, they supported towering greenc/tcr/)<?rti<s, 
 surmounted by lofty, drooping feathery of iik^color. Their 
 banner corresponded \ field , green flannel ^\^jM with festoons 
 ■ .. and pendants «of tea-colored crape. Devic^l^a. bald old bach- 
 Q\ot lassoed by a female of Amazonian proportions ;, the , captor • 
 * dragging tbe victim' to an altar at the Jbase of a decayje^ hem- 
 locjf, and overhead a turtle-dove, mateless and ropsting on a 
 , solitary limb. / - • / . " 
 
 Motto: ^^ Maiden* s Rights and Annexation." , 
 6. Long Kifle Rangers- — distinguished by a peculiarly, 
 careless air and jaunting gait : destitute of fenapsacts an^ can- 
 teens, doubtless calculating to supply the demands oT appetite 
 tfherever they might chance to light upon the necessaries. Ban- 
 
 .'■"■'" ^ "'■,"■ ■ . ' .". ■■'•.'■■."■ -..-S-j 
 
 ♦The emblematic color, elgnlfyiiig/or^ofteir.' 
 
 _ ' : „J3St^ : ^ 
 
 ■-?•' 
 
v 
 
 »1 . 
 
 ^ 
 
 '^- 
 
 Ek*' 
 
 Ui^.: 
 
 230 " liUOY Boston. - 
 
 ner, a net-work of ^ar« — not «//W<-yarn, but tho regular 
 spun. Device : a woman sciiKng a fence on tho margin of an 
 extensive common — house in tho distanco^behind. 
 
 Motto: *^ Extcmion of the area of Female Freedom:^ ^ 
 7. IIioh-Flyino Artill!<:uv, a free ancl easy, rolliclting, 
 diirc-dovil kind of crew, with features marked and distinctive 
 
 — eyes black, lips thin, feet small, ankles slender ;- from crown 
 • to toe, trim as a greyhound. But extremes meet. Tl^eir /a- 
 
 ti!/iie dress consisted of a wonderful profusion of all kindi of 
 ' fashionable finery, with aceoutorments/orrespondent in variety 
 
 and extravagance. Banner : a field of silver be-studded, be- 
 Maced, ahtt'be-tasseled with pearls, diamonds, and massive 
 V golden nuggets." Devic^ : A peacockjpread — and a pugna- 
 ' cioua swan snappingat the heels of a retreating donkey. . , 
 
 /hloiio:' HPi^gres&! Clear the tmcle! !" 
 V 8. Gray-Headed GttKNADTERS, whose appellation is suf- 
 
 ticiently descriptive of their character and appearance. They • 
 •. bore 'a black flag, on wliieh was. represented an^aged matron 
 
 tlirowing her protect^iig arms around a timid maiden, and 
 
 " looking daggers "- at a group of " boys oT a larger growth." 
 .- Inscription.: "P%«V7«A-6' //tc /%/%«« yo"'" 
 
 9. JFairy Light Guaijdsj The Municipal Attache^ or 
 Body Guard tf tho Great Metropolis. * : ; 
 
 !.>\-„.^ Fair " gartered " Knights of the Silver Bow, 
 : r ; ^^^ % 
 
 ■Whp boldface the whiskered^foe, 
 
 - And "conquer peaqe" by conq'ring hearts. . 
 
 10. Ethiopian ;Rear GyARD, the imposing climax in this' 
 military display qf the feminine Fillihmters, heaving up in the 
 
 li 
 
\'m:' 
 
 \ :■ 
 
 '.'#. 
 
 * FdLTiiES OP THE XIXtu Ce'nturY. 231' 
 
 distance, like, a tliunder-cloud on the horizon, anxl especially 
 distinguished hy their armor of tvory, which gleamed in serried 
 >ows like streaks of light. Over them floated a white l^anner, 
 bearing a stately negress . seated in Iho- chair of State, with a 
 train of wlilte attendants at her bao^, and. in either hand the , 
 insignia of power. " , . . »■ 
 
 Motto: ^^ EtTdopiaand Amfirioa'-TlAherttf ar^frE 
 11. Sewing Societies. . 
 r 4li. Quilting Clubs. ~\ ^ \ °'- ' ' • . 
 
 13. Secret Societies. ' ' • ' ^" 
 
 14. Know Somrthiugs. / . • ' - 
 
 15. .Distinguished characters; among them, Mrs. Caudles- 
 Mrs'.' Partington', Madam Fudge," and Mottter Bunch. 
 
 16. Spiritual ifUs, in their respeetive orders olKKapperSi Tip- 
 pers, "Writers, Talkers, Singers, Impressibles and Smelleni. 
 
 17. Spirits and Furnflure. ' , ' • • ' 
 , 18. Citizens and strangers, in unnumbered thousands. 
 
 Accomplishing the passage of the principal avjen^es • to the ° 
 foot of State Street, the doughty phalanx wheeled, &nd with 
 nimble step marching up the ascent to the tune of' ^ ' 
 
 ^\ The Bloomer GaUopadCf' - . ' 
 
 environed tl\e capitol, with a massive, living walj of iron hearts, 
 in aspect more <« battailous " than simply political. An im- 
 posing depujiation demj^nded, in behalf and for the occupancy 
 of the Female State Convention, the imniediate surrender of 
 the chamber. This sumniary demand n^et with a prompt atid 
 heroic denial. ' ' * • 
 
 Whatatidaeity ! How grossly insulting to the dignity and 
 
 honcHf of the fair fiUihustersj thus to Obstruct the action of 
 
 ■ — " ■' — ■ -^^ ~^^ — ■ — 
 
 -^^ 
 
& 
 
 • S 
 
 
 282 
 
 w^ 
 
 'Lucy Bo stow 
 
 ^»j 
 
 ll 
 
 their far-reaching patriotic ambition! A case «> extremelj 
 aggravatiog, bo dcstmctive of authority, so unappreciotivo of 
 popular sovereignty, so utterly Bh.mcless a violation of tho 
 laws of good breeding ! what could it require but 4ho moat 
 iummary measures, to avenge the insult and wipe out tjio dis- ^ 
 grace? Patriotism, to the last latent spark, kindled with he- 
 roineic rage. A council of war forthwith ensued. BHcf- was „^ 
 the;Consultation — prompt the decisipn. Following a hasty > 
 disposition of forces, and a philippic harangue, to ^ 
 
 ♦'Stiffen the sinews and summon up the blooj," 
 
 « Jtfimc. — Onward f ye Brave»/"acre&faed the Marshal in 
 chief. One enthusiastic shout, echoed by the multitudes, with 
 the voice of swelling thunder, and the cohorts— as greyhounds 
 from the leash — da.shed forward, filling porch, hall, and cham.- 
 ber, and like an avalanche overwhelming the Legislature. Re- 
 sistance was attempted, but in vain. The members of either 
 House driven before the inmshing tide, and unable to escape, 
 huddled "together in every tjorner, like frightened sheep. Hurl- 
 ing the Speaker headlong from his scat, General Boss occupied 
 the desk, surrounded by her staff, and the orators of the day. 
 Over them, aloft, was planted the revolutionary ensign — 
 breeches and boa — with circling spires, flaming crest and subtle 
 eye j while, from window and gallery, waved the banners of de- 
 fianoe and triumph. Senate and House shared equal fate. Com- 
 pletely overthrown, hemmed in and. garrisoned ahout, they con- ^ 
 sidered "discretidri the better part ©t-valor," and made no 
 further show of resistance. The Jacobins thus in undisputed 
 poMCBsion of the capitol, Marshal Boss arose amid trcmendouft 
 
 4 
 

 ¥•' 
 
 r • 
 
 IJoLLIES OF THE XTXtM GeNTUHV. 288 
 
 cheers, and waving her claymore, in tukon of itUoncc, on- 
 Dounccd that, in accordance with a proconcprtcd and secret ar- 
 rangement, the Ilonorublo Ilannuh Ann Ilunoock, a worthy 
 descendant of the illustrious John, of revolutionary memory, 
 would read her jmblic document for the action of the conven- 
 tion. Whereupon the . distinguished lady, advancing with 
 measured dignity and precision, pronounced the following -:— 
 
 DECLARATION : ' 
 
 When, in the course of inhuman events, it becomes necea- 
 sary for one sex to break the oppressive bands which have 
 linked them with the other, and to assume the separate and 
 superior station to which the laws of suture and their own 
 abilities evidently eptitio them, a VoIiAitary condescension leads 
 them to declare the causes which impel them to the dissolution. 
 
 We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women aro 
 created mpirior ; that they are invested by their formation 
 with certain unmistakable rights; that among these are life 
 and the liberty of doing as they please; that whenever any 
 form of government becomes destructive of those ends, it is 
 the right of the women to alter or abolish it, and to institute a 
 new polity, layin^its foundation on such principles, and or- 
 ^izing its powers in such forms, as to them shall seem most 
 likely and speedily and safely and successfully to effect their, 
 purpose. Prudence indeed will dictate, that a government 
 long established should not be changed for light and transient 
 causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that 
 woman-kind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are suffer- 
 a ble, than to right them s elve s by aboli s hing the fonps to which 
 
 20* 
 
 ^fe- 
 
1 
 
 i 
 
 284 
 
 Lucy Boston* .# 
 
 . ■ ■ . o 
 
 ^ : t . 
 
 ■^■ 
 
 they Imve been accustomed. But ^hcn a long train of abuses 
 and usurpations, purauing invariably tbo mm object, evinces 
 • settled purpose to grind them under absolute and eternal 
 tyranny, it is their ri{;ht, it is their duty, to rise up and put 
 down such a despotism, and raise new breast-works far their 
 future protection. Such has been the meek and patient suffer. 
 ance of the women of "this state; and such Is the necessityr- 
 whu:h drives them to upset the former system of govcrn|cn^ 
 The history of man is a history of repeated, unintcrniptd, 
 unprovoked and most outrageous injuries, usurpations and in- 
 ' Bults, all combining in a direct conspiracy, forever, to hamper 
 
 the females of this state. For proof of this, let the plain facts 
 
 in the case be told to the world. 
 
 lie has refused to make laws, \fliole8omo and nedessary, fgr. 
 
 the gOod.of the female public. 
 
 He has, on the contrary, passed laws iho most unnecessriry, 
 
 unwholesome, and unpalatable to the feminine democracy of 
 
 this commonwealtk. ' 
 
 Ho has prevented the establishment of justice.; 
 
 He has erected U multitude of houses and incarcerated us 
 
 •withiii them.* r .' i* , "■ 
 
 T. ^e has tried to make the male independent of and superior 
 
 to tho'fomalc power. } v ^ . ■ 
 
 He has endeavored to bring us under a S^bjection. contrary 
 to our constitution ; performing ^.of legislation and qustom : 
 -£ Fo) saddling largo troops of childien upon usj ^ : 
 ; For curtailing our desires j S" % ; ' 
 
 For limiting our cxpcnseg; 
 
 For packing buMens upon us without our consent j 
 
 i 
 
1^ 
 
 r 
 
 J*' 
 
 %.., 
 
 fK 
 
 * 
 
 FotM'i8 or T 
 
 IXxn Century. 286 
 
 hcH, and Hcour and staroh 
 to wear out on his own 
 
 « 
 
 |.' For compelling u« 
 and darn them every 
 ,|)ack; 
 
 For dooming us to dolvfi in tho kitchen j 
 
 For confining us in the nur8cry prison ; . 
 
 For disallowing us the privilege of votingand holding puh- 
 lleofflcejT / " 7 - —- —^^^ -^-^ 
 
 For covering us with Bhilling cuiiro when Wfi chooise silk/ 
 and withlsilk when wo prefer satin. # ^ t >':• Z 
 
 For refusing u^ a seat in the legislature tnd declaring him- 
 self clothed with power to legislate for us in all cases whatso- 
 
 He ,has annulled our right of goverifiifp|P|r declaring us 
 under his subjection, and waging war against our privileges; ' 
 
 He has plundered our affections, rummaged our quarters, 
 hooked our dresses, aad fattened on the spoils of our sex j 
 
 He has excited, domestic insurreotions among v», and let 
 loose his merciless passions to prey upon us, and sought by all 
 the means in his power to crush. out our lives under his" un- 
 ^hallowcd feet. . :. 
 
 In every stage of these usurpatibna an^ Oppressions we 
 have petitioned for redress and relief in terras the most pert 
 and emphatic, as well as lofty and authoritative; our oft- 
 repeated petitions, complaints and demands, have been an- 
 swered only by repeated wrongs. - « 
 
 A creature, whose character is thus marked by every act 
 which may define a tyrant, is unfit and unahh to be the head 
 and ruler of free women. 
 J^or have we been waiting in proper attentions to our male 
 
 / 
 
 ^ i 
 
 0' 
 
 7 11 
 
¥ 
 
 V 
 
 t 
 
236. 
 
 LuoY Boston. 
 
 / 
 
 brethren.- We have «raed them, from time to fme, .ga,est 
 
 attempting to extend al. unwarrantable jurisdiction over u,. 
 
 We have reminded them of our peouliar cirenmstanees. ^ye 
 
 have appealed to their sense of justiee, magnanimity and de-, 
 
 eeney, and we have eonjured them by the ties of our ^mmon 
 
 -Eindred, b, the eords of affection, by the saered bgamenls of 
 
 matrimony, by tlie tendrils of sympathy, by the nerves o m- 
 
 dependence and ithe muscles of vengeanee j m short, by all the 
 
 affections that link, and all the antipathies that sunder the 
 
 se«s, wo have implored and notified them to disavowed d^ 
 
 continne these usurpatfi,ns and oppressions, which would .ne?, 
 
 tably interrupt our connection and intercourse. They, too, have 
 
 been deaf to the voice of justice and mercy, of love and hatred, 
 
 of warning and rctributioi. We are driven, therefore, to acqu.. 
 
 osce in the necessity which in^iels us to revolution, and to hold 
 them as we hold «ll-m««-kind-hyenas in wari> in peace; mules 
 We, therefore, tie delegates of the women of the state of 
 New York, in general eonvention assembled, appeahng to the 
 highest rule of the worldy the supremacy of o,pintent.ons, do, 
 i„ the name ani,by tBe authority of the good women of th,s 
 commonwealth, deliberately and solemnly declare, that the 
 femiles of this state are, and of right ought to be. Free and 
 IndepenMnt; that they are absolved from, all allegiance to 
 men ; and that .s free and.independent wo^men. th|y have full 
 power to declare war, conclude peace, contract allSnces, estab- 
 lish commerce, forsake their children, enslave" the men, let 
 themselves loose, in short, « r«Je iU m»<," and i» do eve,^ 
 thing else which independent women may and can do. And 
 for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the 
 
m* 
 
 "% 
 
 Follies op the XIXth Century. 237 
 
 stretch of our ambitio|»j the inflexibility of our will and the 
 strength of our grit, we mutually pledge each other to stick 
 together, and, " sink or swim/' to fgJu it through, or faU in 
 the attempt.'! 
 
 At this new Declaration of Independence, patriotism^ like a 
 pent-up flood, broke loose and rushed beyond all bounds. Hands, 
 feet and lungs, vied with each other in patriotic concussion and 
 momentum. The capitol shook and legislators grew pale. 
 This ebullition of freedom measurably subsiding, Fannyetta 
 ► freeman, Esq., presented the following— v , 
 
 Resolved, That this convention, having tafen The Dcclara- 
 i Dn of Independence, just read, into their most deliberate and 
 8 -ious consideration, do, on this the fourth day of July, 1876, 
 UL.\nimously declare that the reasons assigned in this immortal 
 dncJcnent, for pronouncing the women of the state of New 
 Yotli free and independent, are most pointed, cogent and con- 
 clusivv. ; and while we greatly deplore the necessity which has 
 made l^\s measure unavoidable, we approve the same, and will, 
 at all h.w-ards, hug togethpr in supporting it. ' 
 
 An a^- jtroving shout prociaimed the resolution carried. 
 Liberty \i AS jubilant ! Music woke to phrensied joy her "in- 
 strunifents of wind and sound," as the band of the Muses 
 delivered ii uproarious harmony — 
 
 * " The Lords of Crention," 
 
 after which -"he "campaign qu:irtette" discoursed, in %^s^le 
 wortliy ihc [ tilny a^a of^L'ng Cuf/in-ism, the following ode, 
 coiiipOised exprosiily for the occasion: — 
 
 >i i- ■ , \ 
 
 * ,«?■ . 
 
 ./■"s 
 
 
 ^--f 
 
 ::n^ 
 
</> 
 
 '9^ 
 
 288 
 
 *>^ 
 
 'Lucv Boston. 
 
 Yo AVOnicri of the Empirt!' Stjite! 
 . In your owja hnnda yj)U grasp your f^toi 
 
 IlolOritiftst'. 
 ,r The nnU upoo tlio l>cftd you've, struck, 
 Ana now Tfrith genuine woman's pluck, 
 ^ Clinch it fast ! 
 
 k 
 
 Proud man, at last, is in ^mr fist. 
 
 And though he flounce, and squii-m, f^ twi«t, 
 
 , ' Hold him fasti 
 
 - • ^^*' 
 He'll through ;rour finger? try to^sl^^; 
 
 But clutch hino ; an£;with a death-grip 
 
 ' rt-ol'd him ffist \ ... 
 
 So let him sly, the fo^mm play, 
 ' d* ftms by force, to get away, 
 
 Hold hlfti fast! « ' ' 
 
 /. 
 
 ^ -' 
 
 ,!»» / 
 
 ^ 
 
 ^'^ 
 
 F 
 
 a 
 
 . the Grs 
 lifervunt 
 
 
 '*- • of the ( 
 
 " " 4> 
 
 their an 
 
 1 tt 
 
 - 
 
 ,jn their 
 
 r 
 
 '<* . •' the fac 
 
 '- 1 . " blood t( 
 
 " 
 
 , yr ele'vatia 
 
 . 
 
 "'^tiUthej 
 Va»d ear 
 
 ^^ ^ 
 
 tW Con 
 
 * 
 
 V led to tl 
 
 
 doubtlcj 
 
 ■' «'that ",t 
 
 * ,„ the folic 
 
 € 
 
 ;ow lose rto time in parley blab 
 ,an almighty ■'gi 
 Holcl him fast! 
 
 lul^uirk. with .an almighty "'grab, 
 
 ,^r- 
 
 This was the ^ignaV for the final mneuver in this, ml^stressly 
 
 - 1> /< eaup d'tatf' this j^raud stroke of revolutionary policy .» The ^ 
 
 •• startling motion' Wj^a' at once uiaa« O'vidoniljf accordiu- to a^ 
 
 ••'■ previously concocted pl.m)^and una'ui.iMOu^y imaSJilr (i«mi.1?l».ul- .^- 
 
 ' ,iog the Legislature y> gw 1nlM^S>'.oii upon the spot, aiH.lilji ih- ♦»* 
 
 'ii°h tp pu;. a'la>V granting wouLC%li>6ir'rfght;^avotjj atjd l.ol^ '^^ 
 
 ■'' , ,y ■ ,r ' ' ' '-' -^ . /•/ ' " ■ • '^' 
 
 publiQ ulli<;e.- , • * *» ' 
 
 , - . '<T.ea»i.u:* ^^cfsojj/" i.^..r'Hi-'i»d-fi;;rcht^earupy»,wh;thoV,. 
 ,,;* assoyiblyuuMi inuUetiatoisJwd'talunJorugt^ '%,' 
 
 t«' 
 
 
 '-• } 
 
 
 
F O L L I E 8 F T M K X I X T I H^ C H \ T U U Y . 239 
 
 \» 
 
 J- 
 
 the Gnind Marshal. Tp^a onset was irresistible. Our publio 
 
 tervunts, as always truo^to their constituents and the interests 
 
 of the country, met it gallantly, like m^n, and grappled with 
 
 their antagonists, wiiliug to sell themselves as dearly as possible 
 
 ,jn their country's service; hut each one being taken smack in 
 
 the /ace with a blunderbuss, it was too much for flesh and 
 
 blood to .withstand, ^itulating, they cried for "quarters," 
 
 ele'^atiog a white handkerqJMef as a flag of truce ; not however 
 
 iiU they bhd given back to their as.sailants as good as they.sent, 
 
 Vasid earned by their valor th« enviable name of " D^^endersof 
 
 tbo Constitution." Our Vetera^ and gallant legislators were 
 
 V* led to their seats, submissive, pliant, and even willing captives, 
 
 . doubtless with noble magnaninSity, acting upon the principle 
 
 ■'Hhat"io, the victors belong the spoils," and forthwith passed 
 
 „,,, the follov^ng enactment:':^ -m - 
 
 '">.., 
 
 ^ 
 
 'vi^ 
 
 ^ ..AN ACT- ^ - ■ 
 CoNCERMNo Woman's Rights. 
 
 ■Whereas, it' is clearly evident that thd'Vomeri are in jevery 
 T ..thing equal, if- not superior, to the irien, and 
 
 "Whereas, it is just and expedient, because it is just, that 
 ;.> they should enjoy fully aiid freely all the rights of citizenship: 
 
 ^lereforo „ ° . 
 
 • ■ > ■....-• 
 
 ■ The people of the state of JVeio York, represented in Senate 
 *and A.iscmh!(j, do enact and dedare 
 
 That the cgns^itut.ion of this State be, and hereby is, altered ' 
 ■' and amended, so as to cnfmnchise all females past the Vge of; 
 , twelve years, grauting them' the rfght to vote at all elections, 
 making them eligible to public oflfico, and entitling them in all 
 
 .> 
 
 
 • ■ ■ w 
 
 •i%: 
 
240 , LucY'BosTON.v ' • 
 
 respects to the same, and eiiud PO^iti^^l privileges, TytE male. 
 
 Z'^*^^^"'- " ' Passed July 4tb, 1876. 
 
 The deed was done l The scepter 4epartf from man ! His 
 empire, six thousand years old, was no more ! The underpen- 
 ning Suddenly extracted from the Babel of his sovereignty, the 
 cloud-capped iron-ribbed, time-defiant structure cape tumbhng 
 -^pieces. Awful crash! The State-House shook. The very 
 hills Qf the capital rocked, and the Hudson fled up stream ! 
 ^. portentous tremor shot through either hemisphere, startling 
 !he inhabitants like the ^hock of an earthquake. * • 
 
 But at the capital was tumultuous joy. Music poured out 
 its very soul. The bells opened their brii^cn throats. Cannons 
 bellowed and roared as if ready to split their sides. * Shouts 
 and huzzas from countless th6usands rent the heavens. 
 • Meanwhile the male inhabitants of the city and others from , 
 abroad, attracted thither by the spectacle, grouped together 
 here and there, wherever a spot could be found for the sole.of 
 their foot, some making merry over the scene, treating it as a 
 most capital joke. Others, sedate and .thoughtful, shook their 
 heads and cast anxious looks, regarding the transactions of the 
 day as an innovation-ih the highest degree dangerous, tending 
 strongly to the corruption of morals and the subversion of 
 public order. Deeply earnest were their protestations agamst 
 th. blindness, the folly, the culpability of winding at, or triflmg 
 with such prncccdings- proceedings of acluuiictcr so grave, 
 s. shameUss so luwl.s.; meriling the contc.npt and. demand- 
 in- the stern rebuke of every good and honest citizen' Trea- 
 son stalked boldly in the copital ! Civil war v,-^B waged ! The 
 
 ?*- 
 
.....v 
 
 MW 
 
 
 i?. 
 
 Follies of the XlXya Century. 241 = 
 
 reina of .governmcDt were in the hands of the mob I Anurchy j^ 
 had begun ! Imbecile^ ! padmen I traitors ! who could jest 
 over manhood despoiled) laugh at civil poIiQr nullified, and 
 view simply as a pleasant fared, the isiaking wreck of society. ; 
 
 .'But we must, at least for the^ present, leave the jolly pro- 
 gressimiistsi, {e&rhsB of " new^mepures^" to make merry, and f 
 the.. old fogies, m^ lengthening visage, to. peer ominously 
 through their spectacles., ,^ _v_ _u. 
 
 Their o^i&t accomplished in the enactment of a bloodloM 
 revolution, ihe coQventio^ adjourned with cheers " three times 
 three,-' making heaven and earth mig again., With colors i 
 flying, and: . *v j 
 
 « All the while 
 
 «' 
 
 Sonorous metal blowing martial souncls/' 
 
 ■^1^ , 
 
 the triumplin return IMrj^n. Animated natiire, and even the* 
 very elements, caught the new spirit of progression. Ho^es 
 .were fleet as the wind,\ and caxni^e-wbeels rolled, without- fric? ' / 
 tiott. Vessels like whizzing arrows shot th||tagh' the foam. 
 Steam gejierate|L^iiew power., Electricfty dartea with increa^ld 
 velocity. Locomotives like mighty war chargei^, snorting and 
 
 pawing, leaped from their stations with nerves of steel and 
 
 *>■ , ' ' '' ■',' ■ 
 
 breafli of fire, whirling the illustrious victors, almost with the_ 
 
 velocity of lightnings over their burning -tracks! Waters 
 
 spouted 3 forests waved j bills made' obeisance; winds whis- 
 
 tied Yankee Doodk, while every where tables, ch^ and 
 
 stools tell to kickingup their heels for joy ! The Spheres'^eTe 
 
 evidently celebrating the occasion! ^ v^ 
 
 Moonlight gleamed on the c'apitaL * i, . . 
 
 ' ■■ 2l" ■"■ '"'-'y '■■ ':;':■: -'r- . . ' , 
 
 ■f 
 
 :m 
 
 *•■•«'■ 
 
 • t 
 
jS- d 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ,.■■■■■ 
 
 /(•> 
 
 figs 
 
 ffci^ry'i'MlrG ihoM.wlM)$4:;vocaticm lefthem^; by* various 
 :;^^p||,-«iWay8 au^|ieaii^:.ip discover the ^liddentfei^of both " 
 ' ^^^i«m inter^^^ ^eM called up, 
 
 ; ' V £;;i,,^yiag anadditi(^al de^ of the bcauti^^,a»d utiby 
 
 ■^^■^ M^r^^spirituaiisB^f .;f;^- Y-,. . ^ / V- ^^::l.[|^^,. . \, 
 
 ■V ■ . S ' ^^ f upglehekd iheSeei5on^%ight,frQin the "Ro^ of Vision, 
 ^ 'i/^^^^ "\:#:^i^^ spiritual eye-gl^^ses^saw a young ^| a nien% 
 ^ i V ' }i 'p? ^^ t^e « circle," somewhfre, and publicly reported the same. 
 [^ :* Me ppsitivebr declared it was not « her, but^somebody else.*' 
 '^ Amos also saw a gentleman somewhere else, ,wH i^ben t^0^ 
 
 V news'thereof came to hi(^€ais,' prono?»Bced it sMl^ h^ wa^> 
 - . not fAerc, apd n^ver had beeft. - . 
 4 ■' Thia af^de cJHlJ ter^r public ppecul 
 ; extent. Som^'iPfehtthe:Seerconl^ 
 a Wmter gt^ggested, that if V© did see any^ 
 -^ * iS to teU of U: "^^^ 
 f ground, that he had »^^ 
 / V ;^ilt cbmes to a pi:etty^s," said they, **if aiody can't g^ 
 W io^^^ even speak nor think, without 
 
 ll'^ having old Amos roostingjon his rock ani|^ing through hia 
 • ; t specs lit ua ?m the time." 
 
 i . 
 
 ittdefinit^ 
 :en. ' Quite 
 no bus-, 
 khe broad 
 
 *^ 
 
 -r>- 
 
 Jhl 
 
"-^^B^*^^"' % ''. 
 
 '.• 'FajiHEs OF 
 
 ^;P#'._. : ''■' 
 
 This subject of Am 
 
 
 *"1 
 
 tiiE XIXtu Century. 243 
 
 Very elj^boratcly canvassed one afternoon, at a largo tea-party. 
 Were we writing io the by-gone ago of horse-power, whtfn the 
 world trundled along by stage coach, under the everlasting 
 four " knots an hour ' ' system, we would furnish a report in 
 detail of the interesting session, to fill up the time, and relicv6 
 the dull monotony. But as this is the a*gc of steam and light- 
 ning, making time and space mere abbreviations, when people 
 read, and eat, and sleep laconically, we must adapt ourselves 
 to the spirit of the times, and narrate gcnerically and not 
 specificjilly, except where very particular reasons necessitate 
 the contrary. Accordingly, the details of our anti-spiritual- 
 istic tea-party, lltough in many respects novel and edifj'ing,wo 
 pass unchrofiicled. powever, it will indicate the outline;,, and 
 imagination can fill up the picture, when we say that Amos 
 would have been in extreme peril, had he shown bis, head 
 among them. Spmeiljpiatened to throw scalding water on 
 him, fv^tSi^mti^i^^lKl^-^^ would smash his spectacles, if 
 
 ■ *^^:^^"'^ set th^ir •Siids'''pri^them. High ran the excitement, 
 >ani desperate Were the machfftitio»s KisSitfsCJjirii', when^^ 
 maiden lady,, who) had hitherto maintai«od^ degf^e of taci- 
 turnity, with a view to quell ttie turbuleftc^ of Her mobocratio 
 sisters, exclaimed — . ; .a, ; 
 
 
 *t Why, law me ! I jist as live^lr.^tfrfglehead would look 
 " ijle, M not."-, ./■^'■■^'^mA,<^.:- \' If^^' 
 
 ;11 agreed they had jigVer saia or done any 
 led of, but stiy they held that it was ungen- 
 tlcmanly,t*ud impudent in" Amos to be forever peeking into 
 
 u; 
 
 ■*: 
 
 ■A 
 
 
 > . '',1 
 
 \ 
 
sr'T-^"|?«y; ^ v ' 
 
 . " f 
 
 244 
 
 Lucv Boston 
 
 Celestial meetings l.»d been held, bnddivor. mamfestat.oo. . 
 „„do, .hen a spirit (through »hut kind of a Mod.um we 
 oeverluew) called .ho " eirde" together aff.un on a eer a,n 
 evening All the .nen.bers wcm,pr<=sent and h.ghly elated, 
 Eneirig the table, after the manner of the old regimen, they 
 joined bands, and the "manifestations" eommeneed, varjrog 
 espeetively, aoeording to the different kinds .rf" ^'^'"^^, 
 . The "rappers'- began. othnmp. The '^.rjtors " motmned 
 for paper and' peneU, which not being furnished .hem, they 
 used their finger-nails upon the table, maUins deep spmtnal m- 
 Lntations. The "talkers" made mod.hs. The "^Ucrs; 
 .nuired, and the eyes of Amos ,he Seer projected from the.r 
 «.kets, apparently fcstened o'n some '^^^-^^ ^'f-^"^ T^ ' , 
 constituted a grand union eirele, a eombinafon of the d.lTeren 
 sehools of Spiritopathy, a grand eonsolida.ion and open.ng of 
 ' all .he slnieesof eommunioa.ion from the Spirit-Land. 
 
 The room was evidently full of spirit, loading fhe Wed.ums 
 wi.h dispi.ehes, ready to be announeed. „, 
 
 But the " master'ir&remonios " was in a quandary, If ho .- 
 .iouldpnt .ho usual question -" What spirits are ^sept? 
 
 , they would all answer a. onee, in olamor and eonfu&J . To 
 ask in rotation, was inospedient, lest those delayed sh^ld take 
 olTonse at being slighted, and in eonsequenee, important mes- 
 ,a„es bo lost .0 the world. Here was a dilemm., unlooked f,,r 
 and porplosing. But some.hipg m«st,be done, for . e sp.r,^ 
 ■ ^-ere not to bo trifled with. On the whole, as the safest alte.- 
 native, ho eonoludod to eall for'partienb>r spirits, from whom 
 flte folt anxious to hear. So he asked, 
 
 » la the spirit of Peter Finkle prcGcnt ? 
 
 >; 
 
 -v:l- 
 
 
'■"^jri ' ;>|i 
 
 
 Fotil.IES OP TIIK XIXtII CENTUllYr 245 
 
 "' 1, 
 ,1 I ■ 
 
 Tliunip — ihuinp — thump, by tUo "rappers." '^ . 
 
 Here," " here," cut deep in the tabic by the " writers." 
 Oil band every timc,^' sung out the " Xalker." 
 
 luuii^lohcaS's eyes plainly indicated* tbat be saw it. 
 
 Z. Socrates the "snicller," with fiostrils diBtendcd, snorted 
 like a porpoise. ^ ^ , ■ - . 
 
 All an.<jwcrin«; thus in the aflirniativc, it was unquGstiOniibJo 
 that the .«*pirit was comniunicative a»jf> way, and cicry w^ t^ 
 
 However, preferring to leave it to adopt its own method, tlio WM >'' 
 operator inqtiircd — . i . ■ .' '^- 
 
 " What does the spirit of Peter Finkle wisb'to commu- 
 nicate?"- • , 
 
 Amu-er Qyy i\\e talking Medium). J' Pon't believe any" 
 body but me, * Those ' rappers' are impostors, and so are all 
 the others. They were turned out of the * Spheres' and, cast 
 down to pufjiatory. I toll the trufh." ""^teft" '" 
 
 Anstcrr (by the writing Mediums). "That talker is no (• 
 
 good spirit. It is a notorious liar. Shun it." * 
 
 The other,3Icdiums w<vre n)Ute, as they never communicated 
 excoiH m^swcr to interrogatories, al'thougti they appeared to 
 be uinflHop concern of mind, and no wmnU'r. The " writer'' 
 'had his backers, who decliin'd ho*v;is right. So, on the other "^ 
 hand', the "talker" — -and things took on a -dubious 'aspect.' 
 
 Th«||ader,.boing partial to the oM .school — in other words, _^ 
 
 the " r#f)pins" (who were siltiii|fliy>'ith knuckles ready on the 
 table) —^tletcrmiued. to give tliem'^bartc 
 >^- An thou the re;d (spirit of -^aJLlJlH'l' 
 
 A nsin-r, W all, aihrmarivei y. ■ ^^ ^ 
 
 (^ii(>st4!P^t^ Art thou iiiijAkl''lMitr 31 
 
 ^r 
 
 < 
 
 rt thou i'»^(L^ lU'^)*.i|^£| 
 
 ^ ! 
 
 W: 
 
 .'»..■ ■. 
 
'^t; 
 
 .♦*i 
 
 '■M 
 
 
 
 ^, 
 
 *■'#■ 
 
 Lkcy Boston. 
 
 .f- 
 
 
 W" 
 
 Mr - 
 
 %■ 
 
 ■ "riPfoppcd in tho uflirmative and half in the ncgutivo. 
 Ijfco^intcrrogator, supposing himself misunderstood, repeated 
 ftTqucstion^diHtinctly, placing special emphasis upon tho word 
 ^'^^ upper j" ^ut the " raps " were the same, jiro and con as be- 
 fore, and each so loud as to leave Jio doubt of their earnestness. 
 The\es|cciivo Mediums, with their supporters, wer|j|hu8 
 
 Jivided intofour factions, as above indicated, each claiimrfg to^ _,! 
 ^orthodox, «|c[" pronouncing the others heterodox. '| 
 
 Amos,* meanwiiili, had. kept his scat, as quietly as possible 
 under tlie eircum'stan^^s, but^training his eyes nearly out^yf 
 his head. He had VgTVi rioted even -^nce. Amos never 
 winked when lo(i|g t^gh flgiitualop^es. 
 ' Z. Socrates,, t^ smeller, was very uneasy. Ho had frc- 
 
 auently turned ujjittijl nasal or^n .as if m 'the vicinity of 
 'iomething exeeedin»»y offensive tSljis s^uitS^ ^ 
 
 .^ AVho shall decide when tlje sp^|(|fc-djsagr^ ? Her^liras a 
 '^conflict of communication»j||aia|Wy contradictory ; but there 
 ^eiBg^|wo Mediui^s' as yet Ppai^ from, it wqp thought best 
 ,. to go through the list, so tho.:operator inquired — 
 
 .'/ Doth Amos "the Seer sec. the spirit of Peter Finkle ?" 
 ♦' Yea, ho does," siiiswered Funglo^iead. i 
 
 "Where doth it*iW.le?" - ; * 
 
 »'lt doth residtj ir\ the bottom Sjiierc.V > - 
 
 " r'don't believe a word of it," said qnc. 
 « H^hat did I tell you,", exclaimed another. . ' 
 /^^umbug !'* cried others. ' ^ ■; * 
 
 I never had any faith in the rappers.' 
 
 IP-'.. 
 
 " As uuicli,as T ever had in the «Ta«'/m-,"'Fas the feady 
 
 iLlUlt. 
 
 ■m 
 
 
 
\ 
 
 A 
 
 PoLLi^fl OF THE XIXth Cbntury. a47 
 
 Thus some declared ono thing and aoinc another, erimiuating 
 and rccriminatiog. |P 
 
 /Wv» had hia ftill share of followers, who of course do- 
 nouXjd all other Mediums, and bo a fifth sect was formed. 
 Great confusion prevailed, and the " circle" was likely to break 
 
 up in a row. 
 
 Z.Jk)cr»tc8 had maintained a knowing silence, ever and 
 anon^with an air of wisdom, applying a handkerchief to the 
 ^extremity of hia proboscis. Finally, the leader asked, 
 
 loth the smeller scent that the spirit of Peter Finkle is 
 
 m. 
 
 The smeller doth smell many things," was the reply. 
 The question was repeated, when Z. ^ociates answered with 
 
 'J - " " ' 
 
 a snuff, '!ik I jl^ 
 
 " I smell Peter Finkle's spiritual presence, 4^p™ ^^^ 
 only mouth-piece — ncwc-piece, I mean. I am t|pPa incar- 
 nation of spiritualism. I smell that all these Mediums are 
 qiiafelft. Peter Finkle was a Dptchman. His spirit hasn't 
 undettitood a word of your English, and can't without, an 
 interpreter J besides, he is deaf and dumb. ■; 
 
 " That'a a fact," said one. 
 
 " True as- the almanac," cried another. • # 
 
 The Medium of the deaf and dumb Dutchman, ta prove 
 liis veracity, at once communicating with Mf. Finkle, defunct, 
 threw himself into all coivdeivable shapes and attitudes, 
 thereby demonstrating his familiarity with the manipulative, 
 pedestrial and physiognomical alphabet of the celestial deaf 
 
 mutes. -» - „ >, . XT 
 
 All acViScsocd in the superior knowledge of Z. Socrates Noz- 
 
 f 
 
 ij',< 
 
 ■M 
 
 t 
 
 
 'II 
 
'■f 
 
 ■m: 
 
 
 248 
 
 Lucy Bo«to5. 
 
 sleman. His oxpoaition was entirely satisfuclOTy to the " circle." 
 Although many were loth to abandon their favorite theories ' 
 and sects, still the star of Z. Socrates was in the ascendant. 
 
 A vital truth in the science of " Spiritualism" had thus been 
 evolved, to wit : that spirits retain not only their personal identi- 
 ty, but the features of their physical, as well as moral pecuiriiri- 
 ties, and cannot naturally communicate save in their own n.un^ - 
 dane, vernacular tongue. Hence it is Gonclusive, eitber that the 
 languages are not taught, or if they arc, tbat all do not become 
 linguists in the " Spheres." Hence, also, the origin of the vari- 
 OUB mistakes and failures of the Spiritualists. The mystery 
 was thus unraveled, and cleared of obscurity — a great and all- 
 important discovery. Henceforth the Now Ligbts considered 
 their infallibility as settled. They all agroid that the HincUing 
 "Medium" was accurate; but as sectarians, niorc or less felt 
 nnwilling to admit that the others were not also ronable. Largo 
 bets were laid on the heads of their favorite " Mediums," that 
 if allowed fair play, they would "hit the mark" every time, 
 and it .was stipulated, by general consent, that Z. Socrates Noz* 
 tleman, the smeller, should act as umpire. 
 
 To test their respective merits, the sapient "circle "was 
 again formed, thp owner of the table taking the precaution to 
 furnish stationery for the "writers," to save his furniture from 
 being further disfigured. > ^ 
 
 ; No sooner was the psychological ring described hy joining 
 of hands, than in rushed the spirits like a whirlwind. Never 
 before had they appeared in such numbers. It seemed as if 
 the " Spheres " had m^l a genial " turn out," and all were 
 importunate to spoak at once. ~~ ~ .- ■;■;. ■ ,. ■ ^^- .,-. ' 
 
 J"- :-■■':■ 
 
r ^^^ r 
 
 •^? 
 
 
 FoiiLiKS or THE XIXtii CbntiirY. 240 
 
 Tho leader foresaw i\)fi confuaion about to follow. What 
 oould ho dof How to send thorn back again ho knew not. 
 To turn them out of doors was impossible. His scepter of au- 
 thority over them was ft broken rood. Npyer before had' they 
 acted so lawlessly;' Without a question being asked, tho vari- 
 OUf " Mediums", were all in motion, according to their respec- 
 U^ii orders." Tho rappings were doafching. Tho tongue of 
 
 the talker, unbridled, ran rampant and wild. Amos' eyes rolled 
 and flashed like two balls of electricity. The nose of Z. Soc- 
 rates bcpoming fearfully distended, fell to snuffing as if all tho 
 perfumery of the Spheres were unbottlod, and tho spiritual 
 effluvia tickling its nervous sensibilities, threw it into a fit of 
 sneezing, so violently explosive as to be in danger of detaching 
 itself from the physiognomy of its owner. Surely, in all nose- 
 dom, there was not another Such nose as that of Z. Socrates 
 Nozzlcman. No wonder that by common consent, ho was 
 christened the " miojhty,^nB<fftcr," as he was. 
 ' But to tho "circWl tt^as a moment of most intense in- 
 terest. The rival " McMums-," each pitted against the others, 
 had fairly entered tho "ring" for superiority, and fierce in- 
 deed was the contest. 
 
 Amid" incessant "knoekings," the "talkers" continually 
 ... ) 
 
 ♦shoutisd, . • 
 
 " I can't keep still— I ttpn'< keep sVill -^stop your noise, 
 and save your knuckles.'* 
 
 The " writers," with, great rapidity filling their sheets, in 
 fine hand, closely interlined, wrote — " ' "^ 
 
 " Cease that clamor. Shut your mouth — quit pounding — 
 that blab " &c., &c 
 
 
 * ; 
 
 -ptop 
 
 
 -'■('■' ' 
 
 .:'^m^- 
 
 :i#'?y' i 
 
tl 
 
 i 
 
 ■<n 
 
."'" •*■ 
 
 . 7 
 
 .W 
 
 250 
 
 litj'cY BosloN. 
 
 The leader, mih the'intentloniif bringmgtbe spirits to dtdcr 
 and^putting an eml to the noise, and confusion,' y»quir»d, . 
 
 ■ « WUgit spirit is present ? ", ., ' • - , 
 
 ; armheremyself-rmhereTByseirdiotitedtJie^tatljer." . 
 
 - « Its a lie ; , ^e're here - Its a lie ) " we^rc here'' -. ansVpcred 
 
 -the '^wtiters." ■ ,,. 4 " ". " 
 
 •' The operator directing himself to the <' taking M^^nwn, . 
 enquired with emphatic distinctness, ; ^ ' .^ 
 
 "Whose — spirit — arc — you?" »^ 
 
 <' I'm my own spirit, sir. . Nobody owns me but myself." ^ 
 ," What is your name ? 'I . 
 
 '. " « None of your business. Whomadey^u my confessor, sir." • 
 . The interrogator was fairly non-ptoed. Whether it wns 
 '^ Napoleon, Hannibal, GianiGrim, or ^hc Devil he. could bot.. 
 .tell, but it was mam/cstf^ a hold one. Ut, Modcratof would . 
 gladly- have dropped the subject at this point, but ^e durst t>ot 
 through fear of exgitipg a new "manifestation," as the ^pirU3 
 arc exceedingly sensitive. ' r • *, ' . 
 
 ^ Thinking that possibly his manner of interrogation might: 
 not have been sufficiently deferential, he bow^and |aid, ^ • ^ ^ > 
 / « Will you have the kindness to inform me whose spirit yau • 
 
 ar^' * ' ' . • ' , 
 
 . " I told you once I was nobody's but my^own'. ,Tou fot.1 : 
 
 . can't you understand nothing / • * .l.T.^f^-f 
 
 This was a poser, «r//«wcn/wwm«/to»i'?iA|j»^ < 
 
 •--'"'* ^'^^%ne cause, apd 
 
 the poor man^kn^w not liow soon a spint^'revoljcr">^ ^ 
 bi»wie-ktiifc might make du^flight shine through him. ^ Bcmg^ 
 ^ opposed to war jnd dueling^Kc'gnve the « codepf i^onor " Uj^ 
 
 • ' - ,_ .; ' ' 
 
 KH)^ 
 
 - * 
 
 ' > 
 
 X 
 

 
 ^9^' 
 
 ti^ 
 
 & 
 
 « in 
 
 e. / 
 
 ' FoLLips OF tiie/XIXtii Opn.t,vry. ;25i 
 
 " A ft «P y, I 
 
 "« go-by, pockotod tto insult, »nd \yithdrcw, b^r tirirning bTs atte||- 
 
 . ,tiiott to-'tW-w^fters. They had eOmpaunicated notbing ,Ww, ^ 
 ' •' .but obaeryitigoiie of tbcm with pea in band, ^ppar^ntly await- " 
 
 V .»" ibg" orders, he politely requested, _ . ,. « ^ 
 
 .,« t,\YiW tho #|pirit be kiad enough to \^te ii4 name -i"' , - ' ^ 
 
 \j; ' ° «Noj I wotft. Itsnotio of your Wisiness, sir." 
 
 ; - .> TbV<'Vircl6^ looked dead blank at Vo unexpected; A reWff,; ' <r 
 
 ■ ,, ^jTn^. stjicft unparalleled obstinatjy.- Great was the wond«rmenlif ^ 
 
 ^ ■ as to wlio^lt cauld>e. ' The « rappers," in turn, ^p^c^c intfei^roT ' ^|. ;^ 
 ' '" - gated with respect to tlicii^ spiritual constituents whom they ' 
 
 ?rcprpsQrtted,-b6t'witfi no T«c*e satisfactory .rcsul^.** Ei'ery miU „„^ 
 ;nij«ry''chioftain,,jobber and outlaw, recorded in history 'or ro- 
 '.mancc,* was called, bujt eac.h\as t«ccivc'd a negative '^rap.'f .. ' j^' 
 The baekers ot'the"^' Mediums ", ^vhabid " coflJmunicated," '^ '. 
 drooped \yitfi- discouragement. SVho ii^the'bame of all the * 
 , -." Spher<;^'^ could be 'the rebel ghost, so wHfi^l a|id ddrin^ as , 
 
 ■ !V thus tS" « snub" the «Mediunas/.''^ and^^rlp^ the scieijcft of" 
 '*• «'Spiritblogy' into public contempt. " .1 " -V'' . 
 
 • -Amos 'the S?cr had riot Vpinked for^I'.iin'lWur. His optics 
 .werp'fixed and glasp-y.^^, lt\^ backers Vne^^^U " Was alUlearif), 
 
 If- 
 It * 
 
 <• t„ 
 
 i . -^*' ^/7»i,\anl at ^heir suggestion the ra0d|ratQr a?ked^ 
 « Doth Amos tbie ^er see the Spirit? "'" J" 
 
 «Yea, verily,'*^ he replied.', " V^^ 
 *< Can Amos. the Scer-tell his name?" 
 .'* Y<nvjic c:»n.. 
 
 V 
 
 ^ • n 
 
 V' J 
 
 fri iV 
 
 £>^ ■ '" TW",\Hvit.di<l UQ tell j'ou!" jpx^'laimed tlvJ Amiites. 
 -^ ' '" «' That art thopii it of iJcHpraf Taylor," ftontinued the Seer. 
 ^' %'^« It hath on regimentals :and i&on hprsvl&ack.'^. i . 
 *<]^th.it ^e^r an oVjjrcoat?" asked'tl^e rnodel^alor. . 
 
 A 
 
 .( - 
 
 J5> 
 
 -T 
 
...r' 
 
 W 
 
 »■-■,■ 
 
 *i'>' 
 
 ttJCY J^OSTON-ii 
 
 ♦ '■'■'' "X 
 
 'irfK-^- 
 
 ■j^cy' 
 
 V 
 
 ♦ 
 
 ^■i*' 
 
 1^. ^' i^i 
 
 " « Yea^ari old gr»y sartotii 
 « TU6 color of his' breast ? " 
 
 "It is like- unto milk." .4 , ^. .„ 
 
 «The Old Hero of Biiena Vi^a, as siite as^bs^^ ■** 
 
 ■' , .. .: V .^■;"' ■ ■ •'':'' ■■ ' ...-■■■■'■ ^.^.r ' /":•:'■"" * 
 plairaedoiie. ^ ■■ . " <,- ^'^^ 
 
 ' " And the old ^ay coat ? '^ cvie4^noth^; ^,4; 
 
 (. And old ' WMtey,' too," joined a tkird. ^ J . ^ _ ^g^;, 
 <<Hutrah fbrgpiritu^ism a^a An#tfee.Seer!^|bout^Ur^^ 
 
 - .dpporterg of Fungt^ad, witbj^^ta^^ 
 
 «lts alia devnish lie 1'^ yclied>b(^^ talker,-|^^^^^ 
 aJ^s in a pugnacious manner.- ^/v "' •. ..'^ ;^'- 
 
 « 'That' 8 so/',r8<^wled the v^^ers, ass^itfini^j^ ^^ ^ ; 
 
 ^ The " knockers," too, with fists^^ouged W pugihsti^ style^. ^ 
 gathered aro«nd the man of *^ ViA,? ;«« }t about to #| -^ 
 •- himarozv^"'^ "demonsttatibn" that would at tot be n.v 
 
 pressive. Some of the peace mcmb^s Cintei^rm^r war^ f|H 
 thepi'tofbrbearallbelligQrentdemonstrations,4est"QldZa#. ^^- , 
 
 shotild play up Buena Vista with them. / . . J ^. 
 
 The friends. of Z. Socrates No.zleman were aniioui ^r^^ 
 "make a strike," ^and one of them inquired — ^^ ^ \ /, 
 ' '"What doth Z. Socrates, the sraelier, smell ? " 
 ' « Tlie smeller doth smell much." ' «. 
 ' ' « Both he smell the spirit of General Taylor? '^ 
 "Nay, it aint here, antl hath not been." 
 "Therel". " There !" ^'Thertl^^clioed from different >, 
 
 parts of the " circle:" " >:•/ ;, v ^ ' 
 
 . "What spirit dpth Z. Socrates, the scenter, scent. asUeU 
 
 ■ ■■' ■ ■■■-'■ 
 the moderator. 
 
 ■:;.;:.-" ; ^' sift 
 
 
 ''I, y .: :> .-I __ 
 ' ■■ * .•-•^^ . 
 
 .>i|>fiti6ngl; 
 
 '" f^'i^-^"- "^ ^? 
 
 >|i6rtin^ 
 ; "rea^o 
 
 |t<^d:) 
 
 > , was th 
 
 
 fc:.". ■:/■-*■ 
 
 ::i!9C% tl 
 
 «t ■ 
 
 '{'" ' 
 
 mm 
 
 ■ ^ 
 
 #Thc 
 
 M 
 
 • chiev6 
 
 >v 
 
 jm$^ 
 
 '. 
 
 ^^ "Nw 
 
 I_^ 
 
 efcsen 
 
 
 jj^t( 
 
 'jfoee g 
 
 
 ^t. 
 
 ^-.^ 
 
 t»% 
 
 
 body 
 
 .f^V 
 
 
 .M7> 
 
 ■h 
 
 ,.:■"'' there 
 ^:. unioi 
 
 x^ 
 
 W:$»\ > 
 
 S'i 
 
 ::?^?S5:5 
 
 .'/ 
 

 .<'": "■.■I'l 
 
 ■>«<■■ 
 
 
 Vir-r';- 
 
 
 ii'vKi^'^f' 
 
 vC 
 
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 c w,, ■'■ 
 
 ■kr' - 
 
 0" 
 
 
 I. .i«i.V 
 
 *r 
 
 'cnt '^^v ;^ 
 
 [l^.&iijM^:"oi 'T']ar]E'1CIXT«■"■•G.R]^.i^URY.■ 253 
 «J5e doifr:;W^ni-ttie""Bpint 4oth sav^ 
 
 . 5' ■ 
 
 ,ii'>>'- .' " 
 
 
 :»^ 
 
 ^^ *^ She^d^tbi iorSidane ,tQ 'toll.' 
 
 '^jpi^ secret W8#. ottt.v It %as in trutii .^"ladjr^spiritf , The , 
 '^riinenr respcmscg, and cs|)ccially thejniiversai^ woman's 
 i;*' rea|oil'r or fll^nfil *' ^ec«MS^^ 
 
 |'f#Socratos e^lt#afttelrto««#- :^ fl)^ Tiva|^^^^^»u'ns " 
 sl|od ^M^' ii^scofo<^.was established onalSaR^^^sis. It 
 ,,1py tl^ ^lid d^oristi^^ / 
 
 ^6^iiB^^^^ ^% ^ *^ Aought that 
 
 ;f#^they w^^ f6?^l*'^^~*^^'2^^^*^'^^' ^' 
 
 '''b^|^!en'<3arth ai|(4.tl^'^i^ 
 
 M^ " liacjt^ bir Vision " ■. h^ibeow^a^ot^ous* The mi*' 
 f^'chiev0^t^qfhqy^^fiife^^ • I • 
 
 m:- 
 
 * A, .•» % 
 
 
 
 iked !V: 
 
 No^,#was the M>»i <if An\os tfe^ Beer to jnake nightly 
 
 observuibnsfrosriiisspmtttftloh^i^ He came as usual 
 
 ^ 4 0^ took Hs Jfosition. Ikver before did granite present a sur- 
 
 ^^ ' &ee of'tnch dow|jy s^Ssess; The spiritual oozing was a#ua- 
 
 % ^. Surely Jthe .rock must have becom^i^tinct with tl^ vi- 
 
 ' toy of Sf>irituaUsm>^»nd delightod ^ith ihe contact of a 
 
 body of its own- "kidney/' it., clung to his unmentionables 
 
 ;^ith the most affectionqJte adhesiveness. .I^ever fill then was 
 
 .;- there so close an affinity between grapite and f^tian. /The 
 
 '^% anion was beatific. From the tips of his hair to the enifr of 
 
 '/his toes, the man of .vision felt a thrill^f pleasure. 
 
 ' ' ■/.< • ■■' - ■ ■ ■■ '."■ 
 
 ^' ■ . .. .^^ ) ' 
 
 J 
 
 T7 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 :^'. J-; , :' ::'-.:.'.'.■;.:,■' ,» 
 
 
 \! 
 
 I 
 
 ill 
 
 i 
 
 .■:;!■ 
 
 irf** 
 
 ■.H 
 
 ;j8 
 
^?^ 
 
 ' r 
 
 254 
 
 Ltd i!n*T0i(. 
 
 Amo, UaJ carefully anoinl.d his g.>ggle» "Hh the .plntual 
 eye salve, aud with clairvoyant cpUes ,.as about to rev.ow the 
 Lc region, .hen lo ! a report like thunder! anda^.dflame 
 -.nd fume, the Rock of Vision and Funglchead asce^^ed ! The 
 last that ^as seen of Amos he «s on his way to the sevcnUi 
 Sphere ' His followers declare he was promoted by the STtint*, 
 and that the noise aud smoke were but the percussive friction 
 of their electric wings in elevating him to hia more esalted 
 
 ^..- -_ J ._-- -- ---..^ :- \J,____.— :.-_:, ^-.:, . - ■ .- ; 
 
 **tu2r said therewakstro^gsn^fellof pftohandbriBSl^^^^^ 
 .„d that .altpeter had more to do than the spirits in h,s e.hc- 
 rial elevation. This, however, must be » mistake, as a p.lgr.m 
 from the Seventh Zone afterwards broughf the intelligence 
 that one Amos Funglehead,suddenly nJade his appearance there 
 -ax,t he had turned doctor and waVddlmg '0»t' "* "^ 
 |j^^ wad sulky I /-' \y'' '. j-W^i "^ ■■''■■ 
 
 w-' 
 
 
 n /•• 
 
 ;^V» 
 
 
 f 
 
 
 \ 
 
 I 
 
 \ 
 
 
 m ! # ' 
 
 ,1/'. 
 
 
 1S> ' « • -Oil*' 
 
 • 'W'}f'4" 
 
 ,. ■ %. 
 
 
 
 \ 
 
 
■■■ -M 
 
 • GHAPTEK XX. 
 
 ■ " ■14' 
 
 " It is joulousy's pecuHar nature 
 To swell small thiiics ^0 great ; nay, out ojy|Ought 
 
 »'<« 
 
 Vy - To conjure much ; and ibenfp loso iirre 
 
 Aiftid the hideous pliuntoma it has formed." -^ . . 
 
 WILSON maintained his accustonacd good humor, although, 
 he would have been hetfer pleased had his wife re- 
 mained at home aud attended to the household cares. Yet he 
 never allowed himself to cherish towards hSt feeliogs of dis- 
 pleasure, nof to address her in the language of unkindness or 
 lomplaint. In no event had her "rights," as hitherto underl 
 stbqd:, suffered the least abridgment at his hands. Li!)eral in- 
 dulgbtict;, rather thap t'^^ramt in the least degree^ was hi* 
 rule of conduct relaiiv<^to his x;ompanioj» — an example, by 
 'the wk, worthy of all imitation by partners on -the voydgo.of 
 
 Ufc. 
 ■fhc" woman's rights" meeting had set the community in 
 
 a Wfize. 1 Wilson and the editor were almost the only persons 
 ; In the vicinity whQ dared eipross 5> doubt as lo thcnew scheme 
 of political reform. ' > » - 
 
 One night when 4hc curtaius-^were drawn, our landlord ex- 
 
 plai%»(?d to his wi'fe'^at largp the inevitable effects of the exeitc- 
 
 meai r«#onc4 with h^ ^^*^J 9i il>« subject ^ith l^hich 
 
 "' - ' ' ■ - » (255) •■ 
 
 -I 
 
 ■> tt 
 
 ,«n. 
 
 ir J _ 1/ 
 
'/■"■" 
 
 /I 
 
 .0 , ^ '.■, 
 '■■■■'/:'■ 
 
 
 ■'l\ ',>!■ 
 
 256 
 
 I K^-^ilfl 
 
 i 
 
 ' : Lo-c'». Boston;. .■> ,,- 
 
 *^ hofit wa3 not.«U cons.de,e4, ««". "o^"" ". S^„ . 
 
 f ^;tetw«ds, and it uoablo to bo, o"--* f ^ ^|;^" ; , " 
 
 , Mrs WilsOB listened «lh silent bat; o,pf ons # ten .on 
 
 : , leros, be. bnsband's .isVs- Bnt .ben ^ ^J^^ -: 
 ■ ^hieh at lebgtb bad become ^ohronio,^or, to ns? a n.0^ , 
 
 > aroused, -she would- per.mptarUy.deru^d her "^r/^/s, • -^; 
 - *\^At ^^^t^ would have them " any how. . , 
 
 : # --'liSi-b. ... aofinUioo of ...guts," bnt co,ld . ^ 
 
 ' ■ get no ans«,r sadslactw »« ^^^^^.^ . ^ ^ ^^^ „„, •„. : 
 . . . • " Whatis-it you want, my-de!.r, .be «oui«. V • , _^:. . 
 ■•^"\ quire, with real aniiety. -- '" ^^ .■. - _J, ' V :'''*^'' 
 ■ ' « I want my ■ rvM' " "-« ""^ •"^''"'"' "?^^^ ' ., ■ , •/ 
 
 i> V ".^ »-f »^^-«^-£S^;:rb^ wr - - 
 
 ; V -Rut this was nojt suffiQient. fene musi un«^ 7. 
 
 ^ . 7 ^.; ^. - .vi^ekcte^ a mfeinberof the-Legislatute.. la 
 „ - A ' ■• ^iUftt'. she was to we eievwu » m-v 
 
 . ^ ■§3^.^^£5IU:fwkb>to-tb,>a^^^^^^^ 
 
 ^ -^ - ^' "^^ '^L.^M^ iirtUity ot #£»S«»g* ^"ge the ourre^, 
 
 . :■, ■ ■ ■:■...■-::■: -.,.■:• ■■-,^-,,r,v ■ ■■• ...... -..■.,•■«,■,..,,. - »- 
 
 :«.<>:: 
 
 ;.'>■■?, -I* 
 
 ■■■': \ 
 
 ....-■■ ■■■■-■■:'-^ .•-...■: .■■•■;;■■■ 
 
 "J' '' ..'", 
 
 
'i. 
 
 ',,:i:i!4'' 
 
 '■ :• ■ 
 
 Fokjt/llis or THE XIXth Century. 257 
 
 .,, ^ 
 
 Av' 
 
 "her plea3ujr0>althou^ it might bo in opposition to her hus- 
 band's, wishe?. Not that Amaziah intentionally trespassed up- 
 Oli t|l^e mferiti^l autnority of his host, nor that his hostess inten- , 
 tioliftlly lacked either in propriety or conjugal fidelity. It was 
 purely the lesult of* spiritualistic affinity — an involuntary co- 
 ^ incidepec of reformatory activity, and of -which they were 
 .. wholly unconscious, belonging as they did to the class of Im- 
 
 pressible Mediums, ' 
 
 ' • Mrs. Wilfcon had not fallen into a Jit for some time, a very 
 ^-yfnusilal ]()hcnomenon in that latitude. - 
 
 Now Wilson, with all hia fund of good nature, had natu- 
 rally a great aversion to " fits," but he had come to feel a relish 
 ' lE^jDne, "provided it could be induced in a modified form. In 
 other words — was it secret jealousy or to develop human na> 
 tnre dnd for the sake of the " fun " ^-he felt an itching to see 
 his Vifo and 'the "old bachelor" hone tk falling out i and it 
 ' 'mVKt'be confessed that in addTitJpn (nor is it strange), there 
 ' was lurking In his feelings a determination not to stand in the 
 ' way, if the la<]y of the house should, again order Badger to 
 
 change his boarding-placo. 
 \' , . " That was a splendid dress j do you know what it cost?" 
 said Wilson to his wife. 
 
 " What dress ?" asked she, with a tone and look of inquisi- 
 tive surprise. <' Have you bought me one since Tve been 
 
 gone ?" 
 
 "IS'o. , I "mean thal^ one Badger got in U yesterday.' 
 
 I think she'll look pretty fine la it," sai4 he, archly. 
 
 " Did Badger buy a dress these.? WhQ was it for ? I did'nt 
 know it," 'ejaculated she, witfO||bu« anxiety. 
 
 'M 
 
 I 
 
 ^ J 
 
 . /<»■• 
 
 1^- 
 
 .» V 
 
 Jt. 
 
 ^' 
 
 ■^, ■ 
 
2bB 
 
 LtcY .Boston. 
 
 « 0,,o4don'tkno» any tUog about it then? I hoha^n t 
 ^,a;o«,Isupr»seIshou.an.t.peaVotit. S« >- P- 
 I„ ll right; you'U see it .be. ..s n.ade up^ D» ' -5 ^ 
 mentioned it; friend Badger might not hko ,t, and I don t . 
 Zt to offend hiu,," said Witon, .» if ho W un.-tu,,,.,. 
 
 revealed a secret. , , » ^ • 
 
 .. Y„„ shall tell n,e too. I should like to know who he's buy.ng 
 tease, for. For n.y part, I don't think it looks well for >ny 
 ,oman to receive a dress fmm him. Come now, husband, do 
 
 tell mh all about it." ' 
 
 la guess its all right," said he evasive,,. "«adger know. 
 ,hat he's about. Perhaps be didn't buy it for a, ™m«n. TJje 
 
 men may want satin soon." . ^ ^_^^^^ 
 
 « Satin, satin, a satm dress ! / « h""! ""^ ■' 
 getting saUn dresses for. Now you know all about .t. ^V .u. 
 Lb In me. If you don't, I'll make U. tell, »d 'urn lum 
 out of the house besides," ^said she, showmg pl-nly tU. 
 
 " Bymptoms."' . , ^ -,-, i tt« 
 
 ;< not so bad. OS that, we ean't spare Mr. Badger. II« 
 \nuat Stay with us for life, or at least till he gets married. Vou 
 shouldint think of having him leave us." 
 
 <• Do you suppose I'm going to keep a s«spieiou» old bacbol™ 
 here always? Can'tgo out of town buthe's buying somebody 
 a new satin dress, and not let me know any thing about .t- 
 never." I'll turq^tim off to-morrow morning if he don t give 
 we that dress; so there." ^, _ .^ „, „ 
 
 " I giless by what I learn, 3/ou won't get rt. You 11 see 
 - somebody, one of these days," said Wilson insinuatingly. "U 
 must cost Mr. Badger a ^reat deal of money to' get so man^ 
 
 ^ / ^ 
 
 .L» „^^ 
 
Follies of tub XIXth Century. 259 
 
 prcscuts for the ladies. That wnfeJi. couhlii't have cost loss 
 than "sixty dollars." . 
 
 " Vhat watch, do tell-?" . \ - 
 
 " Ah,-)rou don't know any thing about that neither. Of 
 
 course yoti saw but I hadn't better say any thing more, 
 
 I gticss. Let's drop the subject, its all right, Badger under- 
 stands himself." 
 
 ♦V^^oW Harry, you sJiull tell me who jic's give the dress and 
 watch to — ►you ought to, when I wan't to know so bad," said 
 £he, cgaxingly, ' " • t 
 
 " You keep an eye out," returned btejb if putting her on 
 the track to learn it all, " and if yon sy^certain lady with a 
 new watch, it won't be called inciuisitivc among younelves if 
 you enquire pretty closely where it came from." '. 
 
 " Has he given it away so quick ? i wish I'd known it. Ho 
 never would' ve come into our door again*, I can tell fon that. 
 I mistrusted something wasn't right some time ago, and now I 
 hnmio li. I'll give him a walking paper before another day 
 passes over TO,?/ head — new satin dr^lg^'' — gold watch! — 
 what a mean^ thing she must be to take 'em. He better .not 
 offer 'em to me. He knows better than that, I assure you," 
 said she with cpmpressed lip, and a signi^cant shake of the 
 bead. . 
 
 . <' Don't |?lame one unless you 
 be you'll see a pair of new ear-riiigs 
 and but what am I ab^ut ? 
 
 # 
 
 rest, my dear. May 
 
 a certain young lady, 
 
 ^op," said Wilson, 
 
 id studiously kept 
 
 as if inadvertently exposing what Ba 
 
 secret from her. This was too mucff^-She stood dumb 
 founded — the '* /?« " icas on. r 
 
 /~ • 
 
 i- . -. , 
 
 ,; V 
 
HflN 
 
 • 
 
 / 
 
 \ 
 
 ^^^ LUCY Boston. . ^ . 
 
 halt a teen times, l«t jou .Iv^ajs Hae^-"'" ^ - ■ 
 
 " ,1 -.„ r never' consontcu lo u. »»^ 
 
 .„a let hiu. come back ngam- ^ -^ ^, .^ ,,„„_ „„^ 
 
 -V:;;liaW t„o .aaio,7 no .ivcs tU,. U.^. ^__ 
 ...tchcs. c.;^-a c«ry tlwug/' , _ ^^_.^^^^^, 
 
 ' ''rJ-l:™v:::r":.t,,i^ 
 
 7jS:o'rltw-..a you .,,rn.ucU let,. ,r 
 
 rrtrntrrtif;'^^^^ 
 
 that's triiM. It nc uo ^. window, with n.y - 
 
 • • ^ T'll Totih cm out 01 tue \>i»""") 
 "TTTa':-ri V.f..ewo„Hgo.itho,t. neo„.U 
 
 ::Stu:t;:i.o«.«.«».o.rnb«u.t,ou»sw^ 
 
 H rn go off wiihhn to tbe convention, and other places, 
 
 Slid Wilson, pkasinlly. ;. . >.,,„„u like to see 
 
 . Wouldn't la me gone oil .>th h,m. I .Uould hU 
 
 'I ;PTwintP(l to 20. iOU uiv.il" ippf 
 
 ' you i any other .nan stop v,c, f I "•""^'^ ^J 
 
Jv 
 
 FoLLIKa OF THE 
 
 "I hardly think he'll permit you, 
 doors, as you threaten to do." 
 
 « Ho can't help himscif, if I set out. One thinf; I'm do- 
 tcrmined on, and all creation can't Htop n.c. I'll tlirow hU 
 trumpery into the street, before another fun -oca down. This 
 is the lastni-ht ho ever bleeps in this house. And if you 
 don't take care, I'll put you out with him, now you under- 
 
 'standit." 
 
 « Well wife, I guess we hotter take a good night's rest. 
 Perhaps you will feOl better in the morjiing and not have (luito 
 BO poor an opinion of our friend, "Sir. IJadgej.'^ 
 ■ '« Don't call him w,/ friend. Ho may bo >/o„r friend and 
 ]^our ladies' friend with the satin dress, and gold watch, and 
 new ear-rings, and all so sly and secret fi^m mo-I shan't 
 forget this in one night, you needn't think." 
 
 Wilson erelong fell asleep, and anon his wife followed him, 
 in, at least, the tcti.porary forgetfulncss of her troubles. 
 
 Our landlord opened Tiis eyes with the dawn, feeling a littlo 
 anxious to know whether his spouse had lost her desperation. 
 He preferred to let the fever rage of its own accord, yet he was 
 ready to excite it, if necc*:^ry, which could easily be done by 
 the simple mention of cither satin, watch, or ear-rings. 
 
 She awoke. A glance satisfied him that all was right. She 
 had not come out of the "fif-" 
 
 Breakfast ovcv, Badger took his usual morning walk. Mrs. 
 
 W did ftot happen to observe his departure, lleparing to 
 
 his room, in advance of the chamber-maid, she found it in 
 what appeared to her, the most shameful confusion, which cir- 
 cumstance seemed to increase the " state of her mind." 
 
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 262 
 
 Lucy Boston^. 
 
 .< What an «ful-looking vlacc," said she to hcrs.lt "1 H 
 ,.e if I cLh have so„,obod,^^e that Wt keep U 1^ .«g 
 
 Uke bedlam. I'll elear it ...igh., <.uick," a.d »uU,og the ^. 
 ..„„ to the .ord, «p went the windows, o»t flew the cha.rs 
 Lie .ash-stand, looki„g-gh-, and all the pan,phcroa ,a f 
 
 W. This unfortunately stuck fast m the «,nd w. In am 
 ,be applied all her strcnj;th. to eject it, «hc„ in the he.ght of 
 JesperLon, retiring-to the hack part of the roon, and runn.ng 
 .1 all her might headforemost a^-inst the h.thprto unj.eld.ng 
 ,„.ss. for one., as fate ,ould ha» it, Sc.io. and re-aefon «re 
 .„t Iqual. The bed «ent out and — » </«' Mn. If.fe™ .' 
 It is needless to add, that in that singk catastrophe our 
 ,„„dlord lost a ,ifo- .he cause of " woman'J^igh.s, a most 
 .ealous champion, while another ,.,Wc-«->i-. was born .n.o tho 
 Spheres and some new Medium gained a guard.an sp.nt. , 
 
 1 {\ ' i 
 
 /. 
 
 ■■&i 
 
 ,/ " 
 
■al. 
 
 •V 
 
 / 
 
 /. 
 
■iL, 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 Di^ tb- event I.' th- tertb, arc all iu uproar," 
 
 " Kii-lcr were It 
 To burl tbe rooted ni.niutain from lt» buse, 
 . Tbau force tbc yoke of .lav*ry on womco 
 
 DctermineJ tl We free." '; 
 
 TVi EWS of the bigWianacdpatrago perpetrated at the eapi- 
 i\ tol, .pread with the rabidity of lightning over ^he conn- . 
 t„,whcjJer the 'telcgrapbie wires could eondnct^.t Th, 
 pnUicp^ints-a few exccpted-were loud with pat^ofc elo- 
 quence in pr'otestation against such daring --""»'' ""^ 
 Lbocratic, trea^onahlcNnovements. Yet, generally, 1^ there 
 di*overable in their ostensible gravity, a lurking irony, eadtng 
 one to doubt how far those .organs really uttered the senfmenH 
 
 of the male public. , . ' . ' j 
 
 Some, however, raised tho alarm-ery of revolut.0,^ m good 
 earnest, calling upon the people to awake to a sense f danger, 
 to raise up the fallen State, restore order, law, gojernment 
 and guard with .Iccpless eyo and strong arm, their ..cr*d and 
 inalienable rlgUis. Others^ less ccmrvatm, scoute^ the .dea' 
 of serious danger, or actual.revolution, and laughed ^rth den- 
 don, if not with scorn, at all alten^is to carry out this hair- 
 
 , (203) 1 
 
 ■ X 
 
 % 
 
 A.... 
 
264 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 brained Bchcmc of tho femioino politicians. What tlu, gronn.ls 
 either for serious apprehension on the one hand, or for merry- 
 making oh the other, the seqnel will disclose. 
 Leaving the Alarmists, haunted 
 
 "With wild fantastic shapes of hideous niiu/' 
 
 r 
 
 to blow the tocsio of mil war, .nd the Humorist, to indulge 
 » in exuberauce of merri>nent, lot us trace the operations of .he 
 KevolttUonists, aliai, the Iteformers. .' , 
 
 Returned from their' invasion of the legislature, resolvng 
 
 to seize time bj the " forward top," afd Bot be caught " -ap- 
 
 ninE," they hastened to construct the requisite maehmery, and 
 
 • entLd upon the eleetioneeHng campaign, for the for.h.om,ns 
 
 crisis at the ballot boi. ' ,. 
 
 State, county, to,n, and nduhlo^M eorrcsponding com- 
 mittees were organized, a politicaVsiuking fund insUtuted a se- 
 cret police ordained, and .campaign popor.etyled ndiroon., 
 established at the capital, the first issue of which eont=.mcd the 
 
 following prospectus ; 
 
 The Broom, - . 
 
 A weekly sheet, will be spread before the public, under the aus- 
 pices of the « State Feminine Committee," and devoted to the 
 cause bf Woman's Rights in general, and the election of a fe- 
 male state ticket in particular. 
 
 Motto: Ow the carpet for a clean sweep. 
 
 We issue but a brief, though significant prospectus, in 
 
 simply stating our object, and drawing the line of our pohey. 
 
 Our aim is revolution in Church, State and Kitchen, the over- 
 
 t>..nw nf ^a n.power and the enthronement of troma«-power. 
 
 / 
 
t* 
 
 > 
 
 Follies of the XIXtJi Centuuv 
 
 205 
 
 Our policy is boldly to take the ficUl and win the day, peacc- 
 fully if. wo can, forcibly if we must. The dust and mire of 
 political slovcnlipcss, accumulating for agps, covers and disgraces 
 "the social fabri* To us it belongs to mrrp the boanh, set 
 tilings " to rights," and kdep them in (i condition of decency 
 and order. The body politic is a maps of corruption, alive 
 with loathsome vermin. It is oursjto renovate it, to strip off. 
 its filthy rags and invest it with purple and fine linen, making 
 it the model of taste and comfort, no more to bo the polluted 
 carcass it is and has |)ccn, but pollution purified and trans- 
 ' formed to the comeliness of (lucenly gr^co and beauty, adored 
 and worshiped by the princes of the earth. Then 
 
 Y« women of the Empire State, 
 
 Rally to the standard, rally I 
 Waste not yo\ir time in idle sleep. 
 But up, and seize the " iJroom " and sweep: 
 
 ^ Rally to the standard, rally ! 
 
 Of raan-powcr-rubbish, brush the last 
 Into the great dust-pan — the past: "^ . 
 
 Rally to the standard, rally ! 
 So bid our tyrants read their doom 
 lu this— ''clean sweeps the Iran new Broom ;" 
 
 Rally to the standard, rally! . 
 
 The " Broom'' made a sweeping sensation. Subscriptions 
 poured in by tens of thousands. %ail-bags groaned with the 
 weight of their contents. Everywhere, early and late, might 
 "be seen matrons and maidens with « Broom " in hand, indus- 
 triously at work from garret to cellar of the great mansion of 
 23 ^ . ^ ^ 
 
 ..A 
 
266 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 «b, or fly plant its f»ol- i„dcx-io »l'«'. «» 
 
 by tiiultitudrcs. .. ,,„j „U1. 
 
 The campaign, opened by a bold st.oUe « P 
 -ae,po.tion, alike by foree and -^-^-^^^J^,^ 
 
 :r;SZX-.Sn;lo.ote.n 1.00. P.O. 
 :;'e,,a„d^odtbe™.ave,«itUt,,e.^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 .be «bi..ina ..in ^^^'^^^^^Z^^^f^^' 
 „vo of popular e.e,teu,,nt, bftcd f, J „f ,, 
 
 accumulated. Strange to say, by tbe n.aj P 
 :i>,e democracy, tbe one .a. regarded as .^^^ ^« - 
 the other but a bubble on tbe surface of the waters, pr 
 
 „f n«lurc alike barmlcss and momentary. , _ 
 
 .°^rUss,gra.e,ya«.etingtbemse,vesine.^^^^ 
 
 ^. of tbe Empire State called ^^-^i;^^:::^.. 
 bly to countervail tbe revolution, but .« reality 
 of the Albany affair. InasmueU as the stion„ 
 
 nvenedat the capital on tbe east, -— •^; 'J J 
 Imorablo vote, sending the men to the " oppos.tc .do of tb 
 rise" Buffalo vras indicated as the place of meettng. AU 
 
 b "and Buffalo in political and geographical anfthcs; U. 
 << dL and Bcersbeba" of this goodly State of promrsc, and 
 typical of the extreme antagonisms of sexual human, ty. 
 '"HandbiUsweresoatteredlikoantumnal leave, eo„^ 
 to ».c„t«j « i ntherallY.nd snatch government, and conse- 
 
Follies of the XIXtii Ckntlby. 
 
 207 
 
 quotitly society and the existence of the race, frpm the jaws of 
 
 destruction. ^ 
 
 The day arrived. Clear rose the sun, yet clouds lurked 
 * upon the horizon, maHsivo and threatening. Anon the King 
 of Day turned *^ ilou>jIi/iuc," and withdrew hisj influence. 
 Dark forms drove aoro.ss the sky, liko nicsscBgcrH in hot haste, 
 discharging random drops, bullet-like, with ill-boding violence. 
 Lake Krie looked gruff. Even the canal grew turbulent, while 
 Ningura, emptying all its terriUc thunder caverns, became au- 
 dible to an incredible distance. Not only at the capital, but 
 ' in far distant Gotham, the inhabitants, disitfSyed, felt the 
 ground rock beneath their feet, and heard the porten^joar. 
 Whisperings filled the air above, and ponderous rapping! from 
 below well nigh broke through Che rib-crusted earth ! , 
 
 Amid, these unpropitious omens the frcc-mm of the State, 
 nothing daunted, poured into Buffalo by mammoth trains, tho 
 more Numerous doubtless from the fact that the Directors of 
 the various railways had, with patriotic magnanimity, granted 
 free tickets to the whole state, an unheard of phenomenon in 
 the age of monopoly ! 
 
 Were our pen graphic enough and in the mood, wo would 
 draw in (ktail a dioramic view of that uniquest of all gather- 
 ings. A^'' charcoal sketch," in rough outline, must suffice. 
 • Imagine, then, ourselves standing on Main Street. Now, 
 while the crank turns, watch the "order of the day" as it 
 passes — here it comes! 
 
 Commander in chief, General AYiNFiELD Scott, not the 
 giant veteran of Mexico and Lundy's Lane, but General Winficld 
 
 
rp .^.^: 
 
 
 V 268 
 
 Lucy Uohton. 
 
 .„pporled .,j l.-.» .u,ff, -""•"■"«;' J „g,, .Governor,. 
 
 V,,v.»«.. C..u,,TU«M...AN lUN... a con-' ofU .m 
 p,l;„.H.onorou,,ovc.r c„o..ruotca Tro. tl.o aa>» ofJuWl 
 C'»in .nJ l'»n tl.c I'iper, downmrJ.. 
 
 .resident = - (l»ble Angel, of world-w.dc renown. 
 
 vlrre'idenu:-=^verd bmee, of u.turalUed Mtee d.g- ; 
 
 "'o;:i:-«ener».To,nTU«.b,nowad„niaedge„Uen.a„ 
 
 .eedlo,, thin..,les, scissor., lodUins, kn-fng -*., 
 
 Amlln-lon With enormous ?««»"' . ' 
 Of throud «.ul yarn upon thcu- backs. 
 
 0.;0..nn, oM .rn.ed and cuipped .itU .pecMcs. 
 
 jrrelaaiua". colors and U.oe.rc»es of every eon. 
 
 ccivable fashion. ^ '^ 
 
 u See, Bco them in their motley hues; 
 . Funeral black and brimstone blues. 
 
 ' And lurid green, and bonfire red. 
 At once their varied radiance shed; 
 
 And skin deep gold, and would-be pearl . 
 And heaps on heaps of corkscrew curls. 
 
 With patches, piirty-color dyed 
 
 Like Jacob's l^erds, ring-streak'd and pied. 
 
 • .cele.rst«ip.ga.,dwar.onexbl.Uionthrou«.th..untry^ 
 
 F 
 
 He, 
 
 more { 
 
 ful cu 
 
 Horn, 
 
 Dii 
 
 sniitai 
 
 boran 
 
 in Ok 
 
 Li 
 
 mi>p-i 
 
 of sti 
 
 Ci 
 
 l;itrli 
 
 / 
 
 a 
 
^"'.,1. -^ff*--^'-^ 
 
 ■"■ ' "Tlfk'-;^ 
 
 PotLiKH or Till; XlXTii Century. 209 
 Heavy Artillery, manning an immonso ficld-plcco - or 
 more properly, /u>««.-picco - conBisting of a .tovc-pipc, of fright- 
 ful ealiber and paixhan pattern, dragged by "old Crumple 
 Horn," followed by ammunition train of combustiblen, 
 ■ 1)UA<MK>WN8 (dragoons), wearing capacious coats, with a 
 solitary button under the chin, flowing sleeves, a dorsal protu- 
 borance and skirts, donated into trails sweeping several yards 
 
 ill the rear. 
 
 Lk.iit-Footed, Li.iiiT-IIoRSK, mountcd on broomsticks, 
 ,„..p-Micks, pudding-sticks, fiddlesticks, and every other kind 
 of stiv.k available and ridable. 
 
 C.LINARY Cavamkus, ludcu with tho paraphernalia of 
 
 Kitilicn and larder. 
 
 >- 
 
 JK3irf RKAN CoNNOissim, panoplied to the teelh, and bear- 
 
 iii^ ouch 
 
 \ 
 
 •' \ pnuuch of mitrhty bulk lu'forO,> 
 Which Htill thpy linvc n spcci.il care 
 To keep well cninui.^l with thrifty fare." 
 Ah.I oft lis smiliiip plenty meets their way 
 Once, twice, or e'en throe times a .l«y. 
 
 .. l)i,T is the cl.n.ff of pliites, of knife uml fork 
 That merciless fall, like tomahawks, to work." 
 At signal, <leini-john3 un.l liogshca.ls hleeil, 
 While boumllcss stomachs, frightful faminc4.reed»,- 
 
 TiiE Forlorn IIopk — an embodiment 
 
 Of lean, paunt uUstincnco ami hnp}?aril cure, 
 or rii<rgoil mis'ry and forlorn despair. 
 
 Know-Notl.ings; a gallant f.w and the remnant of many a 
 hard-fou-ht Geld, brought up 'the rear of this martial array. ; 
 2n* — ^ 
 
 'i... 
 
<.<»> 
 
 \ 
 
 '■ . - 
 
 2-0 , Liiv Boston. 
 
 """"";; ;. , !^i Coa .0 ho luongct pUC. of P«.ri«.i."., 
 
 r:;!ar:;;:Jn.c...pc.u.o-»;---^^^^^^^^ 
 
 W,ot.o, «UU .hriHioK offcct, deUvc«d h,m-clf thu ■ 
 ■ ■ ., Most p«i.™..t Mlo,.ei.Uc„. .nd -oWor, f tl>« F. mp^^ 
 fi,.,e:_n™.!" — [Hcr.o« noUc „raU,r boc.m. .l,«S;o- 
 ce.i.d will, real or alToctcd oo.,fu.iou, «» 
 
 • .. lie Kr.t.l,-.l l,i» c«r, Ih. i..f.lli'.f ""»•"• ^ 
 To .VkI. cn>l.,rr..»'d .l»»k"« ''»«''""'""' ■ 
 
 But nuiikly roUj-ing, 
 
 • " Sow with a giAnt's mitrht. . 
 
 He heaves the popdcrous thought, 
 
 Now r"«r'"l'^" "'"'•"' "^ '^"*"''"'%. 
 . -Witli ..cathing liirhtning fraught."] 
 
 • .. I feel .mp.y P-ud of m P-i.ion '■ Man; .1.0 Wd of or,.- 
 
 Tb U .great gatVring of groa, n,cu on a great occa„o„ . B 
 r he latcnJof .Ue hour and the prcHUre of event,, U »..»ld 
 
 I r „.^ inspection. «h,« U »nd ,„. proc.»no ,hen, » .. 
 
 lua 
 
 fo t'> any cjnerjii'nc} , 
 
 nul wl>ose uoiMiucring 
 
 Iv tolciuloil.to victory 
 
 ind to }:h\ry 
 
 U.ry'. ^^i"'^ tloml' 
 
 n»;iuy 
 hoYcniiii 
 
 ! Mars has hanvossoi 
 
 sod Us battk^stuoas! alnn'ly 
 
 ;ui! 
 
 \V'' 
 
 tUTumUin-.f hi-Jnj:..'cnnutc:rr 
 
 our t 
 
 IcT 
 
 htels of 1> r'cn 
 is the war cry 
 
 °« 
 
 10 :< 
 
 1 nil ;li 
 
 tons events! f ir<.».'»». 8 
 
 /^•;//<rsnJK/M''iS>A 
 
 o 
 
 I* tl 
 
 10 rt 
 
 \y'h\( .u<nr.s "•» 
 
 Y>»/ 
 
 yx \.e (HIT wa «• 
 
 Land' Yo't":/ .l"'f'"" 0*^'' 
 
 -bir 
 
 tie shnut! Vo-H, 
 
 fcll"W- 
 
 wn 
 
FOI.MKH Ol" Tlir. XI.StII I'KNTLRY. 271 
 
 citixciiR and noiaifru! y,wn>j Amtrlai ! the projoclor of tliU 
 domonntrallon ! l\^ Hercules of thin iiinctoculU century ! whono 
 mighty mawl Hlmll pummel tho pate of the ^roat ^led DrnKon 
 of lawlesa innovation and revolution! Hero 1 stand! This 
 broad rostrum shall fly from its Arm base m soon as I! Allen, 
 tion tho wholo ! Shoulder arms ! • ^ 
 
 it i 
 
 Now set \n\iv tooth iind stretch your no«tril« wide, 
 
 Stiffen your sttSewn, Rummon up your blood — 
 
 Hold hiiril yourbrciith mid bend up all your spirits , 
 
 To tbcir lull lu-i^ht :' 
 
 '< Follow your noble chief ! On, on, yu braves — to the com- 
 missary for your rations ! ! " . 
 
 Frantic with cnthuhiuMu und voiacious with fasting, forward 
 diished the irrosi-tiMo sijuadrons, and stormed the commissariat, 
 sweeping all btfc.rc them! Terrible was the shock! frightful 
 tho carnage ! Whole shoals.of herring and platoons of sausages ; 
 entire ranks of gingerbread and legions of pea-nuts, went down 
 cngulphed at each successive' charge ! Jugs, demi-jt.hns, 
 punoheons, in uncounted numbers, gurgled their last in the 
 ovcrwholminL; orftlauf^'ht! 
 
 It was imUcla sublime spectacle to sec those vaiuiuij-hiiig 
 hosts, like a wliirhvind sweeping on in front and fhtnk wiih 
 weapons drawn, teeth set and courage whet to desperation by 
 Miutinous appetite. 
 
 Irrcsijiitibie was 
 
 the shock!" Culinary" implements, the tro- 
 
 phies of victory, dnni-lcl over empty provision waggoi 
 
 IS, 
 
 while 
 
 above, t-lie «* stars mil strip.}?," wi 
 of plenty surm. uii 
 
 th the cornucopia and goddi'ss 
 tod by " Kxcehior," floated in lofty triumph ! 
 
 
 . ■■ i: 
 
 ■Ji .' 
 
o 
 
 fA 
 
 Q> 
 
 4) 
 
 / 
 
272 
 
 Lucy Bobton. 
 
 into the recesses of night , bu 
 
 .Grants and "■•-P-P-' f^^ C„„„,„ero., .Hh the heat of 
 ,„,e„.sof COM.- at Uke vanciulsbod than .ioto™, 
 their coutago "j*^;;;* ^^^^^ ^„ ^^cir home quarter. . 
 
 b The auality of woman had not 
 
 dishearteaed nor thwarted. The quaii y 
 changed ^nce the poet so truthfully and fore.bly.sung 
 
 ' .. If she wiU. sbe real, you may depend ou't ; ^ ^^ 
 If she wo^'t, she .on% and there's the end out. 
 
 - ,111 »i,.i..i.. •■' s.-* "•"*'•"" ' 
 
 party alliance. \ 
 
 -as^ 
 
■0' 
 
 .-#- 
 
 FOLLIKS OV THE XIxA C E N T U R Y . 273 
 
 This was a new spc<:ie8 of tactics in political warfare with 
 which the most veteran dcn.agogucs were unable to cope ; the 
 xibductive system by which the scLtincls of, the enemy w^;a 
 picked up, and even the " rank and We " marched oflF, publicly 
 or transported on the " under ^n^ " railway by thousands, 
 to swell the forces and fight the batiles of the revolutionists. 
 Government journals — the heavy ordinanceof political strife- 
 captured one by one, by the rebels, were spiked or wheeled into 
 line, and made to pour their ^' grape and canister," into the 
 faces of the whiskered and mustaehcd foe. ^ 
 
 Resistance was futile. The avalanche was in motion. No ; 
 earthly power could* stay its progress or avert its vi(^ence. Ifo ., 
 . alternative remained but timely to flee tr he crushed beneath 
 
 ; the mountain mass. ) 
 
 The campaign approached its crisis. Th^ides of November 
 arrived. Liberty blew her trumpet upon the blast, and roused 
 the dormant energies of her sons, who mustering all their availa- 
 ble forces, valued to the ballot-box. But they were anticipated. 
 The daughters of Freedom had risen first and taken possession 
 of the polls. Matrons of commanding influence, and maidens 
 the most fascinating, were appointed runners and ticket pedlep, 
 pitted against the partisans and bullies, old and young, of the 
 administration. Every poor wight of a voter, who appeared 
 to be in market, as he. approached, was the signal for a rush, 
 and the center of contest, frequently hot and sometimes on the 
 point of coming to blows, but, ordinarily, the heroines came 
 ,f the squabble, superiurs, and drew their prize into port. 
 
 out 
 
 , leaders, worsted in the game of "fair play 
 cresolved on piaying "foul," and, stimulating 
 
 The 2;ovcrnnicut 
 
 k. 
 
 their fbllowers 
 
.\ 
 
 274 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ",Uh ioaamn-atory harangues and «h*y, attempted to re- 
 
 trieye the day by mob violence. _ The Liberty Guard, 
 
 But tbe sisterhood had come prepared. TheUb J 
 
 1 .„f Plotted over-matchcd and superseded, 
 selves out-plouea, -uvci pnsued, as amid 
 
 heads and broken hearts- the day «as earned by U.rm^ ^ 
 
 Governor elect. ^ ^ ,f victorv The attestations 
 
 Everywhere went up the shout of victory. 
 
 festations" and congratulatory commUn,eat>ons . . 
 
 J^ 
 
 -V- 
 
 i 
 
 ■.■fs^- 
 
 
 1 
 
 in 
 d( 
 /i< 
 es 
 
 ' -f 
 
 
 w 
 
 
 
 b 
 
 ■\K 
 
 
 s 
 
 8 
 
 . , 
 
 
 
.\ 
 
 ^■■'•^T.- . 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 1.4. 
 
 " Kach petty hand 
 Can steer a ship becalm'd ; but who that will 
 Govern and carry her to her ends, inust know 
 The tides, the currents, how to shift the sail ; ¥ 
 Whatsho will bear in foul, What In fair weather; • 
 Where her springs are, her leaks, and how to Stop them; 
 / Whatstrands, what shelves, what rocks do threaten her; \ 
 ' The forces, and the nature of all wiud.s, 
 
 "^'^ Gusts, storms, and tempests: when her keel ploughs hell, 
 
 And deck knocks heaven, then to manage her, 
 Becomes the name and offlce of a pilot, / • 
 
 AS it is of no importaiiGC to the reader, llirther than to grat- 
 ify his or her curiosity, we must decline being catechised 
 in relation to the way- and means of our obtaining ^ clc^ar and 
 definite a vision into the vista of the future. The fact- that we 
 /une "obtained it, should fully satisfy every reasonable person, 
 especially as we are so ready to give the world the benefit of 
 what, were it not for us, tlie race must inevitably have slum- 
 bered on in darkness a^d/unbelief. 
 
 Be it remembered, tliat by^ie power of clairvoyance, or a 
 sort of horoscope, 6r some other method, no matter how, the 
 shadow has advanced some twenty odd years on the dial 
 of Time, to the period of which we are now writing. 
 ' V (275) 
 
276 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 elaiLd a nation'^ biv.l,, »hon ouv rovulufuuary u„cc»to,. c 
 :i the yoke of a fo^i^n tyran, aud at Icgth n hu» c„, c o 
 r,ht that the fair daughters of America are enslaved by 
 i; lore irond.aoded »d oppressive. That tyrant .s 
 Ian' His days of rule aud ruin, however, are at last n«m 
 :::a«iU.thoW«-- Wboea„teU.hatacen.ury 
 
 mav brinj; foi'th ? ' , 
 
 Woman ts in pow;r! She is responsible for its use or abuse. 
 
 Newla^saretobeforn.ed. The old. framework of soc.ey .s 
 to be taken down and remodeled into a new and diDcrent strue- 
 ture. ■ A new era has eomm-enced, alike in the order of nature 
 and thecourse of imman events. , „ „ " ;, 
 
 - Miss Boston, as officially announced in the " Broc, >s 
 
 ■ Governor, and Mrs. Bosalina Rule-the-roost,, Lieutenant Gov- 
 e™„r, of the State of New York The Legislature ,s to a. 
 
 - semWe as the exigencies of the trfnes shall rcqu.rc, or the L.- 
 eeutive dictate. Other historians must share the honor of pre- , 
 serving from oblivion many of the illustrious names and deeds 
 
 , connected with this epochal event, in the progression of the 
 great drama of bunian existence. _ 
 
 ■ At the call of Miss Governor, the Legislature speeddy eon- 
 ...- venes. That majestic, awe-inspiring body is composed of 
 
 \he Sower of the State, with a decided majority of females m 
 both Houses. We give a few extracts from the message: 
 ■ i^ladiaand mn of th^ Senate and. Ammbl!,: 
 
 .. The year past has been the most eventful in human history. 
 It marks a hew epoch, the dominant period in the world's reg. 
 
 I 
 
 '-\. 
 
vr 
 
 1 
 
 Follies op the XIXtii Century. 277 
 
 ister. Liberty, exiled from the time that Adam grasped the 
 scepter, returned in triumph to her TompJo on ib^ fourth of 
 July last — that day of days, henceforward to constitute the 
 initial of the civil and legal year, the Roman or Julian calendar, 
 old aijd new sf>/ks, giving place to the Bloomer — LATEST sti/le* 
 " Wc have been free from foreign and intestyie wars, save a 
 slight brush in the capitol, and which resulted most felicitously. 
 
 "Neither pestilence nor famine has wasted our people. . 
 Jleallh hhoms in all -our borders. Temperance, enterprise, 
 and prosperity smile on every hand. 
 
 "Despotism and misrule have fled the commonwealth, and 
 we are tiow in the 
 
 <" inland of the free, and home of the brave." 
 
 <^ Inertia, is the law of the past — fVoj/rm, that of the fu- 
 ture. We shall not, therefore, in imitation of the Dark Ages, 
 (publish an annual message, laying the foundation for a whole 
 year's legislation action in advance, only to become super-an- 
 nuated and obsolete, but adapt ourselves to,our wants and rights , 
 
 as they arise. • „ 
 
 " It has been the folly of law-makers to Anticipate. Legisla- 
 tion should be, for the present, to meet current necessities; I 
 trust wisdom will guide your steps, and harmony pervade your 
 counsels. \ ' . 
 
 * Any sentiment expressed or action rerfomied by our heroine, Indicative of men- 
 tal aberration or ^veakness, at variance .vitli her ^neral character, we repeat should 
 not expose the author to the charge of incongruity, or want of veracity, but serve as 
 additional proof, that the greatest mind«have their weak points, the truth of which 
 Lucy Boston unfortunately furnkhcs but one among innumerable examples, in both 
 ' public and private life. 
 
 24 , '■" 
 
4I»#S 
 
 r.... 
 
 278 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 .. 1 sb^U be sparing ia the o«r«o of the ve,o power, tho„pb 
 U Jl *boove „o .0 prevent tbe passage of or withboM n,y, sane 
 ;;: 1 ^, onactn.e„t, .Meb is not based upon .be eternal 
 .nd spiritual prineiples of 'woman-sngbts. 
 
 .. I have a fe<r sneeiBc reeom,ne„dati„n, .o n,al<o .b,cb 
 trust will eonuncna tben,selvcs to jour undcrstandmg, and 
 command your deliberate and timely aeUon : ' • . , 
 
 " First of all, I roeommend tbe passage of law declar,ng and 
 enacting in substaneo, tbat woman always was now .s, and 
 e° r sbdl be tbe superior being of eartb-tbe queen of 
 eLtion-iaotberwords,tbe7,o«/<./<^c».«-- Consequent^, 
 t^ she now is, and from hencefortb sball be ' free and ,nde- 
 JtdU- and benee tbat man is now and sbal, forever rema.n 
 
 subservient to bis queen.* w.r,. it 
 
 ,. The matrimonial code requires a radiealehange. ^Ve -t 
 
 „„t for eontravening tbe ■ higher law,' I would reeonnnend that 
 mliage be entirely abolished, and tbe soe.al economy left 
 solely to the disposal of my own sex. 
 
 \ .m by no means ignorant of the diffieulties and del.caey 
 .urrouuding this great question, still as tbe -nser-to" of 
 the eommon weal, H « inoumbent up4 you to g,ve .t such a^ 
 • tention as shall comport with your wisdom and the pla.n neces- 
 dties of tbe ease. I cannot forbear the utterance of my pro, 
 -found conviction, that in no other direction is there a louder 
 
 call for refonn. 
 
 «It is an obvious dictate of reason, that a perfect govern- 
 
 -i^ 
 
 **» ♦»,««»UHp«1 MMcity of Governor Boston, it muptl)c nd- 
 
ll 
 
 Follies o. tui. XlXn. Oent«»v 
 
 279 
 
 ^ 
 
 •• • .i.„ «ani.tion of righteous laws, the mtomgenco 
 mcDt eonaists in the adoption oi g 
 
 »d virtue of rt.o people, espoaaU, »' '>"= "^"^ J 
 tion .gainst foreign and internal wong. To realae g 
 
 „u» idml is the ' aim of our intent.' 
 
 « As the only effoetivo .neans in arr.vmg »'.'>'" 
 nation so devoutly to be «,»hed/ and to furn,»h a key to .he 
 ::InoC this grandest of all prohlen-s in politteal sconce,! 
 
 "''llRrstlTho erec'tion and perpetual endowment of free 
 JCnorl and s„Wn.a,, e.elusively for the oduea^on 
 of the female population, on the admitted pnne.ple that, a, 
 
 rri:s::e!::iuheseh„olfund,in,holoorinpar,^ 
 
 f .h. most aeoomplished clairvoyants, as an effectual guaranty 
 
 detLion under the scrutiny of their -"e-'anc,. _^ 
 ..Thus underlaid, permeated and «»^'"°J^ ^/ '""j' " ;„., 
 of perpetuity, our illustrious regency eau b.d defianee to 
 
 >tSing»iththclincV<.r^Ucytb«siX^.>^ 
 
 H be your «re so to legislate, as not to d.sappo.nt the just 
 • pectalions of a generous constituency. , • 
 
 \.' 
 
 „v..-. -^a^.--^■,^^^ y1 r l ^■^■^»^^■'' 
 
 , r~^ .rf r4,^L, 
 
280 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 " I need not remind you, that to tho dominant pnrty, it be- 
 longs at once to seize the rciu.s and rule supreme. 
 
 « Be it remcmbered,.that first and loremoat, the claims of 
 my sex demand your attention: Man h»« managed the aflfaiiT, 
 of State so long, and woman has been kept back so far, that 
 her wisdom even may not suffice readily to unravel the tangled 
 web, and remedyV the continued patch-work of by-gone 
 
 centuries. -n 
 
 ''Although we abjure oppression, the history of the past will 
 justify us in holding a rigid scepter, suflfteiently stern, at least, 
 to teach all men to have the fear of woman before their eyes. 
 
 " I would recommend that all public offices be declared va- 
 cant and forever inaccessible to male occupants after the first 
 
 day of April next. ^ 
 
 « That the said first day of April be the auspicious period 
 when wmnan shall in fact come into full possession of all her 
 'rights/ that the men be restrained by law from disposing 
 of any property in the mean time ; that the women be forth- 
 with declared the bona fide owners of all personal and real 
 estate, granting their servants the privilege, however, of hold- 
 -ing the same by courtes^, till the said first day of April. This 
 vrillgive them ample time for reflection. It cannot then be 
 said that we suddenly sprung a trap upon them, or acted con- 
 
 trary to the plain dictates of humanity. . 
 
 " On and after that date let woman roll the ball. 
 
 « After so overwhelming a demonstration of popular indigna- 
 tion, the Executive does not doubt that the people will cheer- 
 fully acquiesce in any legislation we may choose to adopt. 
 But that the means may be at hand to enforce obedience, I 
 
For. LIES OP THE XIXth Oenturv. 281 
 
 recommend the speedy pnssago of an uct, declaring it highly 
 penal for any man to interfere with the propaity of his njis- 
 tress, unless by her consent, or in any reBp<}pt to neglect or 
 disobey her command. 
 
 « Much has been said heretofore in relation to laws in con- 
 flict with the constitution. 
 
 " I recommend an enacting clause to the effect, that if any 
 law hereafter be passed at varian^. with the constitution, the 
 latter shall be deemed as thus far abolished. 
 
 "This seems to me wise and expedient, well calculated to 
 do away with litigation, in harmony with the spirit of the age,v 
 and consistent with (he genius of our institutions! '« v 
 
 " To the feminine portion of the Legislature, I would say, it ,/ 
 behooves us to be Argus-eyed and Briareus-handed, that our 
 <' rights" be neither trampled upon nor frittered away by the 
 might or the intrigue of the masculine minority. Let nothing 
 impede our onw'ard mar^h to greatness and glory. You will, 
 I trust, have sufficient independence to suppress all unnecessary 
 and improper debate, by argument if you can, by sophistry if 
 you must, and if worst comes to worst, cast in apples of dis- 
 cord, hang on all the clogs your vigilance can find or your in- 
 genuity invent, and block up the wheels of government, no 
 matter how great the eoncus^ or disastrous the results. 
 
 « Rcm^nber that the objecWt discussion isWtenlighten and 
 convince, and whe\i your will is sfet, not to be enlightened or 
 convinced, you are spending the people's time and money in 
 not suppressing at once the debate. Should you fail of your 
 patriotic purpose by falling in the minority, recoHcct that all 
 men, not excepting patriotic honorable legislators, Wve their 
 — 24* ' ^ — 
 
 \ 
 
 ■■■\- 
 
282 
 
 Lucy BasxoN 
 
 price! AAo^i iho privatecrinff i^Woy. Make a cast of tho 
 ■ << doughMe''' Go into caucui. Grant lottora of mar^-. 
 Fix the consideration, and in a twinkling the vision of our 
 opponents will be cleared of obscurity. In the noblo spirit of 
 O compromise, to 'save the Union from threatened dissolution and 
 
 . preserve the rights of the dear people, they will magnani- 
 
 mously lay all a willing sacrifice on the altar of patriotism, and 
 u right about face," tiftning their batteries upon their own for- 
 
 tifications— then the day is won j we are victors ; the 
 
 Bpoils are ours! Glorious repetition of that magic co«;> d m«, 
 by which this Republic has so often been rescued from impend- 
 ing dissolution and destruction ! • •; 
 "Let us look to Him whose justice, though sometimes Blow, 
 
 is always sure, who ^ 
 
 « Rides on the whirlwind ai# directs the storm,' 
 
 to guide our ship of State^hich we have so heroically cap- 
 tured We are afloa^ipon the tide which, Haken at the 
 flood,' will lead us on to fortune. Gales blow fresh. Hold 
 hard the helm-swell the canvass - mount the brcakers- 
 . leave ^heshore-launcb into the open sea, and teach our SIS- 
 
 ter States - tpach the sisterhood of nations and the Spheres, 
 t^s universal formula, in the science of Woman's Rights, tr. 
 
 CAN if «?e WILL. 
 
 « The considerations thus presented are comm^ended to your 
 eariiest regard, as fWnded in good policy, demanded by the 
 exigencies of the /imes, and wisely adapted to hasten our 
 
 < manifest, destiny.'" 
 
 ^ ' LtcY Boston. 
 
 Albany, January 'I, 1876. ^ ~ " 
 
 \ 
 
 V 
 
* 
 
 f*. 
 
 F0LMK8 OF TUB XIXtii Ckntury. 288 
 
 ^'Sonato and Assembly jointlj-4»a»tcned into " Cdtamittoo of 
 tho Whole," upon this masterly inaugural. 
 
 A production so radical in 8pirit,and in progressive scope, so 
 distant in advance of tho age, could not but meet with varied 
 reception at tho bands of a body, in all respects, so hctero- 
 genoous. 
 
 Th'o male members jeered it. Spinsters gave it their de- 
 cided approval.' Unmarried but marriageable damsels, whoso 
 
 Ambition 'twas to conquer hearts 
 By b«nuty, flattery, and arts, 
 
 repudiated it hi toto. Mothers blessed with promising sons 
 felt desperate, while others having daughters long " in market 
 without takers," were deUghted. Each class was sufficiently 
 numerous to make a formidable demonstration. 
 
 The reform members, to an indefinite number, simultane? • 
 ously seized the floor, clamorous of expressing their views and 
 defining their position. Vain were the endeavors to restore 
 order,, nor did the tumult and uproar cease till the warring 
 elements had spent their force and subsided into quietness by 
 absolute exhaustion. 
 
 Meanwhile the anti-reform party — that is to say, the male 
 members — calmly surveyed the scene, luxuriously enjoying the 
 fun, and anticipating a sumptuous feast for the whole session. 
 It was past the ordinary hour for dinner, and many began 
 to. feel the "keen demands of appetite," especially honorable 
 Mrs. Livewell, of the metropolis, who arose amid the abating 
 noise and confusion, and beckoning the attention of the chair, 
 vociferated. 
 
<., 
 
 
 284 
 
 LwcY Boston. 
 
 ■^.f 
 
 Tt* 
 
 Mrs. Speaker—" It i» o wolLscUljcd principle in ihc pcionce 
 of dictoticH, tlmt ' nature ubhors a vaouun..' It in vnmmtifi,- 
 tional to disregard this fundamental law. I om on the verge 
 if syncope. I elaim' the inalienuble right of dining. I, there- 
 fore, call for the upcedy pas^-ope of oiji act granting «ny n.cn.- 
 ber leave of absence whenever, andjJ|iS^)ng as, personal con.fort 
 
 or convepienco demands, provided »" 
 
 Mr. Graham. — " I call the honorable lady to order. " 
 Mrs. Live-well.— "Please your official ladyship, may I ad- 
 journ for dinner ? In your person,, I suppose, reposes the dis- 
 
 pe^jftg power." ' , r 
 
 TBe quick cars of the disputants catching the sound ot 
 '«di|incr," silence prevailed, as the Speaker replied — A 
 ■ '«a take it', that I have the cont^ of this honora' 
 M;. doodman^ what has it been custohiary to consid 
 ticaTaj^iJiodcr these circumstances ? " ^ 
 
 JWJ-/^rf|»»a».— " I roust acknowlctjge ray inability to do 
 JU8ticii3^^iJ|tcWatory of the honorable Speakcress. True, 
 
 I l»av«^Si^!^^^ ** S^ '" ^^"^ ^^^^^ ^"^^ several sessions, 
 undpr i^^^^le, butW^lppose we arc at this moment, in 
 eran«i#«, from the old to a new dispensation. In view of a 
 Bimilar^revolutionary period, some political sage, M. Doctor 
 Tocqueville, if I mistake not, has somewhere said that • amid 
 the vast perplexity of human affairs,.none can, say how much 
 of the Incient institutions and former manners will remain, or 
 bow flittch will completely disappear.' In the language of the 
 same profound statesman, I am compelled to add, that ' asjhe 
 past has ceased to throw its light upon the future, my mind 
 wanders iii obscurity. 
 
 * )* 
 
 
 
 *,. 
 
 4 
 
 ■!m' 
 
 } 
 
 ^" 
 
^. 
 
 <f 
 
 
 # 
 
 r\ 
 
 Follies or x 
 
 his XIXTII OlHTUEY. 2»6 
 
 ^.. 
 
 * » " However, OH I am now up, I will, with the pormiMiori of 
 the coraniittce, offer Home remarks in reply to the diatinguUfccd 
 momhcrcps from the Metropolitan District. 1 
 
 "She hoB taken oecosion tft introduce a Dinner Dill, ft thi»g 
 wholly foreign to the subject before the committee, and even 
 wve >t in ordct, she has presented it in a state of absolute xm. 
 
 dity, that is, without specifyinjg any of its provisions ■" 
 
 ' Mn. Lhcwcll (interrupting).—" If the gentleman wi8hc8.to- 
 know my 'bill of fare,' I caninform him that it consists of the 
 choicest meats and vegetables, pastry, fruits, confectionery, 
 champagne and hrandy'* 
 
 Mr. Goodman.—'' Truly sumptuous. The * Omnibus Dinner 
 Bill.' Now, Mrs. Speakeress, of all political aphorisms, there- 
 a is none more venerable than the one declaring that ' self-preser- 
 ^ vation is the arst law of natuic.' Ilonco the honorable lady's 
 <bill ' which she has^had the auJacity to thrust into the teeth, ' 
 with the intention of cramming down the throat of this house, 
 is both suicidal M>d unconstitutional, for who, that is at all 
 Versed in th« theory of digestion, does not know that to sur- 
 feit an empty stomacltvis nothing less than a debauch ? It is 
 laying an unjust tariff upon the gastric functions, a method of 
 taxation, in direct violatttm of laws aS old as humanity itself. 
 
 " Such, Mi^. Speakeress, is this ' Omnibus Dinner Bill,' a 
 most voracious bill, conceived in rapacity, and brought forth 
 ^ with greediness, calculated to induce apoplexy oh the one 
 hand, and breed a famine in the State, on the other, to exhaust 
 the public treasury, and skeletonize the body politic." (Cries 
 t)f "order, order," from the feminines — and great applauflo 
 by the masculines.) ^ ' 
 
 F| 
 
 
 1 ' 
 
 \ 
 
 4 
 
 '*m . 
 
 N 
 

 
 n 
 
 I I 
 
286 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 .it: 
 
 ^eaA:.r.-" I pronounce Mrs. Live-well out of order, and 
 veto her bill as unconstitutional." 
 
 Mrs. Live.weU.-'^ I say I am not outj,f order, nor is my 
 bill unconstitutional. Um in as good condition as the honor- 
 able gentleman - and who dares rise in his place on this floor 
 ' and affirm that it is either disorderiy or unconstitutional to cat 
 ^heri, what, and as much ^ we like, till nature, who is her 
 0^ best judge, both as to quality -and quantity shall say, 
 enough. And I dare the honorable gentleman to deny that as 
 pubUc se^^ants, m have a right^o eat and drink and sleep too 
 at the pubUd expense. What, let me ask, has been the career ^ 
 of the gendemenm this House ? Ha^e they not laid at the 
 public crib, in gluttonous e^% till they look as plump and 
 blossoming ad b^ef and brandy can make them? A<s if the 
 ^ief object of legislative bodies had been to consume the 
 public stall, ,nd lie at the public tap, to gormandize, and 
 Bmoke, and lounge, telling stories, singing songs and making 
 merry, whUe we, forsooth, must be gagged and left to die ot 
 Blarvation. I tell gentlemen to beware: They have not reck- 
 oned with their hostess. I warn them to count the cost before 
 they undertake to rob us of our inalienable rights, r.ghts 
 trhich my sex have learned we possess,4ind which we know how 
 to defend. (Great applause from the right.) , 
 
 Mrs. Lumhard.-" Mrs Speakeress, I do not rise- with the 
 
 . . ^8h of protracting this already lengthy discussion; however, 
 
 with the permission of the committee, I will make a single re- 
 
 mark. I agree with the honorable member from 0^ , that 
 
 ttie body politic had better suffer extreme depletion than be 
 crippled with the gout, or expire of apoplexy." 
 
 ■: :■ 1 
 
Follies op th 
 
 E XIXth Centuky, 
 
 287 
 
 Miss Pindleton.-'^ I rise to the support of Mrs. Live-well 
 - our position is just j and to a woman, I venture to say, our 
 resolution is taken to maintain it at all hazards. I warn gen- 
 tlemen that a continuance of this shameful conduct must inevi- 
 tably result in a "dissolution of .the Union r We most deepl;r 
 deplore such an alternative - but if gentlemen are madly bent 
 on goading us up to that pitch o! desperation, on their heads, 
 not ours, be the consequences. (Great confusion and cries of 
 
 order.) ^.T:. . . 
 
 « Silencel"^ shouted th^Sppakeress, stamping her foot with 
 
 emphatic violence. ■ 
 
 ' "Question — question!" from the left. 
 '-Mh:^muUon.^^'l rise to a point of order." (Cries of 
 " put him down," from the right.) 
 
 A disgraceful scene e^ued, but by great exertion, quiet was 
 
 at length restored. 
 
 Mrs. i)M/77ass.— " Mrs. Speakeress; I toove that after an 
 interval of fifteen minutes, we adjourn tiU to-morrow morning 
 
 at ten o'clock." 
 
 Ominous pause I The feminines fell to moulding the " dough- 
 faces." Such lobkings! movings! whisperings! pulling of 
 sleeves ! rubbing of elbows ! and leaning on shoulders ! The 
 Omnibus Dinner Bill was evidently making headway. The vote 
 was taken "Shd carried by a majority of threel 
 
 I 
 
 \ 
 
t 
 
 ^ ■ 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 
 " How ho dill BPcm 
 
 to dive into their pockets.' 
 
 milE "spiritual" mania pervaded city," to«n »"->^-"2d 
 TLul to »y. the spiritualists for tbe most part adUe^d 
 lr:oHfc.,'ehoo,a„d«recou.euttojJ^^^^^^ 
 .eateupathonberappiugwria„ga^see,u^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 ^rd^i^rrirr •.: . a spiritu. ..s. or.„. 
 
 .„d.v.dual mU^ ^ jj J_^^ ^j com„.un,oa,>o» 
 
 4"/e pC-the eal "s.iftsure" line of eonve,anee 
 :;rt?le.o.se.ea..e^.r^^^^ 
 
 ;:iw;rsrr«st ana, .is dimple. 
 
 ::;i;:^l otter Mediums and their. folWrs «th scorn and 
 
 . ToLsor Z. Soeratis Noz.leman maintained his just aseen- 
 
 al^ZL greatest among all the great lights of sprntuato. ; 
 
 Ju^t^ orratherthecentralSunof thes„tem. Hissate 1, es 
 
 tbe J-P'*^--' « ^;„„ ,„a center of grav.ty all lay 
 
 .were numerous, wlioscax.3 Hence his influence 
 
 r „iUanthe.re,eofh.c^-^— ^ 
 -::°tr:::.S^eeannot.^..no.ieethe.p.^ 
 
 ' ;(288) ^ 
 
 
 IP. 
 
 -*-•'": 
 
P|Hpmipp|l^f<f<»r«i|itfllliilj il.w|l%_;(«in,#iw 
 
 V. . ' 
 
Follies op the XIXth Century. 289 
 
 ■■Mi 
 
 phenomenon that his olfactories, though " spiritual/' possessed 
 a decided affinity for the good things of Providence, of what- 
 ever kind, whether adapted to the palate or the pocket. For 
 instance — he smelt that brother Pliable must give him 
 
 j^iiy dollars, and it was forthcoming, at any sacrifice. Our 
 Smeller was in want of a certain horse valued at a hundred 
 and fifty dollars. When seeking the owner, and ostensibly under 
 
 . the promptings of benevolence, he addressed him thus — 
 <' Brother Soft, I am he^e to let thee know that thy valuable 
 horse is diseased, and will shortly die, unless he faH into my 
 hands. Thou kuowest, brother Soft, that I do noi oovet thy 
 horse, but rather than thou shouldest lose him and su£fer a 
 total loss, the Spirits direct me to be just, and give thee the 
 liberal price of forty dollars ahd save the life of the animal. 
 So bring hun hither speedily, and make sure of thy money." 
 Brother $oft, not hesitating between the skin of a dead beast 
 and so great a sum, hastened to the pasture, brought and de- 
 livered up the horse, rejoicing t^at he had saved forty dollars 
 and the life of his noble " Bay.^ 
 
 Professor Nozzleman was destitute of a family carriage. 
 Sister M^ml, residing some three miles distant, had a new one 
 exactly taJ^Ma^professor's taste, or rather to his smell. So 
 mounting hi^ splendid Bay, with whip and spur, he set off at 
 full speed fer sister Marv^rs. Like a pointer on the scent, 
 descrying in the distance the coveted vehicle before . the door^r 
 he bent forward with all his might, and came dashing up to the 
 gate, his horse covered with dust and foam, and himself breath 
 less with agitation, just as the good woman of the house with 
 her children were issuing to take a morning ride. 
 25 ^ ^ ^- 
 
 '^ 
 
\ 
 
 290 Lucy Boston. 
 
 " Sister Marvel ! sister ittarvel 1 " said tlio smeller, with faco. 
 and jesture the picture 6f terror, and voice sticking in hi? 
 throat, "I— smelt that— thee— was — on the poiptof riding 
 
 — out — and would — get killed by — that carriage. I^e — 
 got — ;here — in time — to save — thy life. Thou must never 
 
 — ridet-in it again." . 
 
 "Oh, bless ypu! bless you!" exclaimed sister Marvel, 
 "you've saved our lives. Wo should've been dead before 
 night. No other Medium could've told this. Spiritualism hfts 
 snatched us from the. jaws of destruction. Nobody can doubt 
 
 now. * Spiritualism * -* its everything — its everytliing." 
 
 ^A little rested, and sitting on hi^anting beast, our*smclling 
 Apostle related his feelings on first snuffing the sad news, and 
 then ajpparently subsiding into a. state of abstraction, with a 
 melancholy look and an ominous sh^ke of the head, as if con- 
 templating some future occurrence, utterdd theexdamati m, 
 L " That csyrriagc ! that carriage ! " 
 
 " What must I do with it? " asked sister Man-el 
 
 " I'll tell thee what thou must not do," replied the ]Modmiu, 
 with a sigh ; "thee or any of thy family must never set foot in 
 it again, if thou ^ouldest not be dashed in pieces." 
 
 *^ Would it be safe for you to use it? "asked sister Marvel. 
 . « I don't knoVr till I consult the spirits," answered the wily 
 Apostler W^hereupon ordering the horse to be detached, aud 
 the wheels well blocked, he cautiously asce^ed, and seating 
 himself ^ for 'a short time, said with a smile—, 
 
 " I scent there is no immediate danger ti^c, and that should 
 any arise, I shall be advertised of it in due season." 
 
 (/ Well," said the simple owner, with a heart full of gratitude*^ 
 
 
 / 
 
 >i:\U'^ 
 
Follies of tub XI X r ii r. n t u r y . 201 
 
 / 
 
 " You arc welcome to tbo carriage and the harness too, if you 
 want it, and any thing else I have, for you liavo saved mo and 
 my family." 
 
 . "I do not foresmell any hnmcdintc harm to thee from the 
 harness, but as you might run a risk in using it, perhaps it 
 will be safest for mo to take it," said the Medium. 
 
 it,., ,' i 
 
 Sister Marvel cheerfully acquiesced, not only, biit superadded 
 heartfelt thanks for her timely rescue. 
 
 Our Medium Apostlq was now fashioiiably equipagcd. At- 
 taching his splendid Bay to his beautiful carriage, he returned 
 home in style and comfort, having promised sister Marvel that 
 not a moment should be lost in giving her notice, should any 
 accident be about to overtake her again. 
 
 The reader has not as yet been made acquainted with the 
 personal character and genealogy of the Prime Medium of tho 
 age and Arch Apostle of Spiritualism. Perhaps some would 
 like to add his daguerreotype to their picture gallery. 
 
 He \C/s in the neighborhood of forty years of age, of middle 
 stature — hair sandy and unsheared, hanging down his should- 
 ers — beard patriarchal — eyes small, gray, sharp and deep set 
 in his headj nose the leading feature of the profile, hugely occu- 
 pying the foreground — altogether sul generis, of true yankee 
 ex'ttaction — ^^was.a wandering planet, a universal itinerant, had 
 jcontrived many ways to get a living by his icits, but with in- 
 diflFerent success, till, fprtunately, his nasal qualities were 
 brought into requisition. Sly, shrewd, cunning, he could lay 
 his plans ingeniously, and promote them prosperously, until 
 some novel idea would drive him off tangen*«wise into some 
 new scheme. In short, ho belonged to that class who are 
 
202 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 unwilling to "let well enough ulonc," to use a Lonicly adago. 
 He had Anally struck a rich vein, and made a permanent " hit," 
 had ho not, like those of his class, sought to grasp all within 
 
 4 
 
 his reach. 
 
 Moved by the spirit of lucre, ho set himself up as general 
 
 £'.rfc«/or for all his followers, inspiring them with the belief 
 
 that it was wholly unnecessary to make a will, as in cai^e of 
 
 demise, their spirits could, by personal communication, direct 
 
 him as to the disposition of their property, from time to lime, 
 
 thereby retaining the oversight of their temporal affairs as 
 
 really as when in the flesh. Besides, the method pr<tp()!>cd, 
 
 possessed this important advantage : In the Spirit-Land whore 
 
 there is ample time for reflection and self-review, wh<frc all 
 
 ' ' ' ■*■',. "J- 
 
 things appear in their true light,,and can be clearly contem-*^ 
 
 plated in their intrinsic character and every possible bearing, 
 they would be prepared to dispose of their earthly estates far 
 more safely and wisely than it was in their power to have done 
 previous to their departure. 
 
 Our Spiritual Executor^assured them likewise that should 
 he happen to te taken away, some one or more of his descend- 
 ants would succeed to his powers, and the business be trans-, 
 acted by them equally as well as by himself. Most fortuitous 
 discovery! A thrifty branch among the off-shoots of Spirit- 
 ualism, and promising to bear abundant fruit! The believejrs 
 hailed it with jubilee. Indeed, what child of Adam cot^ld 
 'have the" obstinacy to reject a scheme of such tftinscendebt 
 utility and so obviously in harmony with the (^ates of human 
 nature ? Only let this perfection of Spiritualism be univ^r- 
 sally adopted, and the *' empty void" of yielding up the " thiijgs 
 
 I 
 
 < 
 
 J 
 
■/' 
 
 ■.» 
 
 X^y 
 
 II 
 
 i 
 
 I 
 
 Follies or the XIX tu Century. 293 
 
 of' time and sense" is filled. The dreadful chasm bctweca 
 Earth and the Spheres is bridged. Farewell to tho iron-fisted 
 law of hereditaments and the despotic fashion of testamentary 
 bequests, by which past generations have suffered their goods 
 to bo wrenched from their grasp and parceled out to their pos- 
 terity. Henceforth, every passenger to the Spirit World con- 
 voys with him all right and title to his temporal estate, both 
 personal and real, holding it iuyl'C simjilcy not only while ** grass 
 grows and water runs," but while human nature lasts and tho 
 "Spheres" revolve. Auspicious oral Ultimatum most glo- 
 rious of the great law of spiritual development ! Think of it, 
 reader, and exult. What a " manifest destiny !" Spirits arc 
 no longer the meager ghdSts'^.hey have been, cut-off from their 
 worldly possessions and sent away into limbo like outlaws and 
 bankrupts, but retired capitalists j the real upper-tendom — 
 operators on "Change" — proprietors of the soil with all its 
 incumbrances, of tuis mundane territory, by actual title, or 
 holding under bond and mortgage, while the Mediums are 
 their agents on 'commission, and to whom is allowed a very 
 liberal per ccntage. I 
 
 At the head of this class of copwnunicators^ttRRj;' as wo 
 have seen. Professor Nozzleman. Though in moderate circum- 
 stances previous to his promotion by his spiritual employers, 
 he had "demonstrated" himself into a handsome property. 
 
 His disciples multiplied. Some of them occasionally de- 
 clared they "jsmeU a rat," but their smcUer-in-chief assured 
 them it could not be sjnntiial ejffluviaf and so he nosed them 
 into the belief of his infallibility. 
 
 History, ancient or modern, furnishes no example of one- 
 
 25* 
 
2U4 
 
 L I' C Y IJ a T O N . 
 
 man-power bo absolute us that of Z. Socrates Nozzlcraan. Hero 
 was a spiritual hicrarcliy witli a vengenuce, under the sway of 
 this chief Apostle. He levied weekly Contributions upon each 
 diwciplc, male and female, and which were cheerfully paid to 
 help forward " the good cause." ' " 
 
 As we have before remarked, many people "remained in the 
 dark, in relation to the latest improvements i^n the HcillPee.and 
 art of Spiritualism. Even men occupying "high places"* in 
 our national synagogue, judges, professors and statesmen, law- 
 yers, doctors and generals, were following in the wake of t|ro-'^ 
 rappers, "writers and seers. The ancient city of Gotham, chris- 
 tened New York, N. S., proverbial for its /asiiieas in every- 
 thin<r, teemed with ^lediums of the " old school." Spiritual 
 Noscolofjy had not as yet been discovered nor introduced there, 
 which circumstance is evidence that the most truthful spirits, 
 eschewing the most populous towns, frequent the " rural dis- 
 tricts." In this instance, at least, the great metropolis was 
 far behind .our far-famed country village. 
 
 
'-p^ 
 
 «% 
 
 if- 
 
 ^^CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 " . . -f ■ - . - ■ 
 
 '<0, mtduo, 
 Yuur lox !■ too iniiiorious to rule; 
 You are too buiiy ftt>J Htirring ta 
 B« I'ut in action ; your curioBify 
 Would do an much barm lo a kingdom aa 
 A monkey in a glaaa ithop ; mote and rvmoirc. 
 Till you had broken alL" - 
 
 " fT^UE uaual hour" found the membera of the Legislaturo 
 X in their respective scats, the galleries crowded with spec- 
 tators, and "lobby" full of anxious expectants. 
 
 During the interim of adjournment, the Speakeress having 
 consulted the Governess, they together condescended to exam- 
 ine the constitution and register on the opening of legislative 
 sessions, and thus gathered the necessary information for or- 
 ganizing the Senate and House. They disdained to ask coun- 
 sel of the Attorney-General, who happened to belong to the 
 other gender, having been elected previous to the "clean 
 sweep/' and whose term of office had not yet expired- ' • 
 
 The houses were at length organized, in a m«iiner, by the 
 appointment of various committees, a list of which we cannot 
 stay to record, as proper brevity requires us to generalize. It is 
 sufficiently specific to say, that in no instance was a male ap- 
 
 X2957 
 
 "A 
 
206 
 
 Lucy BdSTOif 
 
 pointed chairman, uor oron m a member of anj committee of 
 promioont importauce. 
 
 The Beeaion wore itself away, dragging its "alow length 
 along," in the BUOccBaion of buncome Bpccches, caucusHing, 
 and long adjournments. The main topic of discnssion was iho 
 meBsage, and particularly that portion rcbting to tho marriugo 
 
 question. 
 
 As might be expected, a subject of «uch vital importance to 
 the welfare of the" State, so radical in its nature and fur-reach- 
 ing in its results, cabled forth the strongest pffortof the best tal- 
 ent on the floor of tho capitol. It is beyond the power of any re- 
 porter to do even a moiety of justice to the ingenious and clo- 
 quent speakers on both sides of the house. , 
 
 ' Miss Lovegood, of Cupidvillo, earned the notoriety of talr- 
 ing the initiative, by introducing a very elaborate " Bill con- 
 cerning Matrimony," and from which we extract the following 
 
 sections : ^ , . 
 
 " The Governess shall appoint in each town three persons as 
 a BoarS of Matrimonial Excise j said Board to consist solely of 
 females of undoubted character, and not less than fifty nor nioro 
 than eighty years of age;-— that no marriage shall hereafter 
 be lawful and binding upon any lady, unless sanctioned by said 
 " Board of Excise," or a majority thereof. 
 
 " That it shall be the prerogative of any female to make ap- 
 plication to any male to become her servant — the term " hus- 
 band " to be expunged from the language, or made obsolete, 
 save as a by-word and reproach. 
 
 " That it be unlawful for any man over sixteen years of age 
 to rafu se s aid application, provided alw a ys the a ge of the h\t 
 
Foi.MKR 1' TiiK XIXtii (!kntiiry. 207 
 
 ^applicant bo between fifteen aiul fifty-fivo jear«. In cnwo two 
 or more applications be luudo to the Manio peraon, at the tiame 
 time, tho mother of the opplieantoo shall detcrniino which 
 of tho fair applicants ho nhall accept. If ho have no mother 
 living, then his cldcHt sister. If ho have no sister, it shall bo 
 hifl duty to 'occcpt tho oldest applicant — provided ngaju, 
 that no peculiar reasons e^t, to bo certified by tho ' Board 
 of Excise.' 
 
 '^It shall ho tho duty of tho oxciiio-wonian to see that fd* 
 males are not inipoHcd upon, and any want of fidelity in their 
 official capacity shall subject them to scvotc penalties. 
 
 " Immediately following the application, tho applicant shall 
 send the applicautco to tho Board of Excise, to notify them of 
 said application, and unices they judge that positive injury 
 would result to tho fair applicant, let them write ' yes,' on a 
 card, and sign tho same, as a marriage certificate; and any up- 
 plicantep refusing to become the servant of such opplicant, 
 holding said certificate, shall bo adjudged guilty of a misde- 
 meanor, and subject tb such punishment as, in the discretion 
 of tho Board, he shall be deemed worthy. ,,— ^ 
 
 "In case the excise ladies should write 'No' on said card, 
 the applicant, if in reality, 
 
 " The sweet lady dotes, 
 Devoutly dotes, dotea in idolatry, 
 
 Upon tho man," 
 
 ■ - ■ ■ li . ■'■.'■■-■ 
 
 shall have the right to appeal to the Governess, or may, at her 
 option, comperthe applicanteo to retire to the distance of at 
 lea s t one hundred mile s as a penalty for e xciting in the fair 
 
 J 
 
 : f »■ - 
 
 A 
 
# 
 
 * 
 
-«•■ 
 
 298 
 
 'tiUCY Boston. 
 
 ! , 
 
 applicant an undue^aad unrot-iirocated i.a.sion — ihcro to re- 
 main in ' tlurance vile/ until the fair applicant shall have made 
 application for another servant, or certify that the delinquent's 
 return would not infringe upon her 'RiGiiTS.' • 
 
 " The sanction of this most wholesome, righteous law, shall 
 bo nothing short of extreme penalty forMts slightest in- / 
 
 fringement." 
 
 The minority, to a man, looked upon the bill with abhorrence 
 as a most daring high-hdnded innovation, and were for quash- 
 ing it at once. They would spcssdily have killed the monster 
 at a blow; but that was inexpedient, if not impracticable. It. 
 would not do to legislate in a hurry. Precipitate action would 
 not.comport with the dignity 6f such a body, and the interests 
 of tli£ public, which require legislators to proceed with the 
 greatest possible deliberation and caution. Besides, despatch 
 is unstatesman-like and contrary to^ political orthodoxy. To 
 hinder the ebullition of passion, and the display of 'eloquence, 
 and th? manouvcrs of statesmanship, and the settlement of 
 private quarrels, and the malcing of capitctl, would' be highly 
 impolitic, and at variance with the first principles of democ- 
 racy, not for a moment to be tolerated in any free government. 
 
 Our State; next to our national Legislatul^, knew how to 
 stand upon their constitutional and inalienable rights, and 
 among them the freedom to speak as often, and as long, and 
 on whatever subject they pleased. 
 
 3Iiss Lovegood, by the presentation of her famous <^ Marriage 
 Bill," set the ball in motion and gave it impetus by a long and 
 lusty speech, in which it was contended with great strength of 
 
 '■^m-^ 
 
. t 
 
 J- 
 
 Follies op the XIXtii Centuiiy. 299 
 
 reasoning, and richness of illustration, that nature was per- 
 verted, and society out of order. 
 
 "Woman," said she, " 1vas not made for man, but man for 
 woman. True, father Adam was formed before mother Eve. 
 But things made Jirst are not necessarily the best. Is it not 
 indeed the reverse ? Cannot a journeyman work'ibetter than a 
 raw apprentice, and an old mechanic outdo them both ? I3e- 
 pides, man was composed of clay, arid at best, he is nothing 
 more than humanity in the rough, coarse earthenware, for com- 
 mon use. But woman ! whence and what is slie ? Not a 
 clumsey vessel formed of mud. Man's composition in its most 
 refindd state was but the raw material for her mechanism. 
 . Hence she is not the mere potteri/ that man is, but the genuine 
 porcelain and china in the palace of society. Or to speak 
 figuratively, Nature in the gross assumes the masculine, but in 
 the superfine, the feminine gender j plainly indicating that man 
 was made to be under the woman, and woman to be over the 
 ;. man J he, as her slave, she, as liis mistress." 
 
 " Now, Itlrs. Speakeress," continued the eloquent stateswb- 
 man, " in the light of these self-evident truths, what is the 
 inevital^e conclusion to which we are driven? Is it not that 
 this bill is absolutely demanded as the only remedy of a great 
 pijlitical and social evil ? What, let me ask, is the present state 
 of things ? What has it been? what is it destined to be with- 
 at the passage of this bill? Look at my sex, hand-cuffed 
 and gagged ; cramped, cribbed, confined and crushed. No ' 
 matter how often cupid may plant his burning arrows in our 
 bosoms, and howmuchsoever they may rankle and corrode, we 
 
 Ji.i- 
 
 ^ -ffl^ — 
 
 
 ..;».■ 
 
800 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 must neither write nor speak, nor look, nor even breathe aflFeetion 
 for any mortal roan, much less compel him to bow at our foot- 
 stool, because forsooth, it is not custom, and therefore the height 
 of impropriety, to say nothing worse. What ! Mrs. Spcakeress ! 
 Bhall these sons of Jote shake their ambrosial curis, lift their 
 haughty brow, sport their smart imperial and mttstache, and 
 in aU their pride and pomp strut abroad in defiance of our 
 charms ? No, Mrs. Speakercss, it is high time these Sampsons 
 ,^.ere shorn of their strength, and this bill is the shears to do 
 it with. Mrs. Spcakeress, before I sit down, let me abjure all 
 2)ersonal motives in my presentation and advocacy of this 
 measure. I present it as a public benefaction. Let it be passed, 
 and future generations will rise up and call us blessed." 
 
 Mr. J^achdder, of Button Creek.--" Mrs. Speaker, I rise 
 inrepV to the honorable membfercss from Cupidville. The 
 bill she has had the honor of introducing is a remarkable one, ■ 
 and in support of which she has favored us with a remarkable 
 speech. Yes, a very remarkable speech, at once historical, 
 argumentative, philosophical and hortatory. But, madam, let 
 us examine this Vstoie ware ' &nd / cheeny ' argument, as it 
 may properly be christened. It is admitted at the outset, by 
 the honorable lady, that man was made /rs^, but she denies it 
 to be evidence of superiority — nay, she has the 'eheek' to 
 argue that it proves his^^nferiority. Was there ever before 
 . such an abuse of facts and reason ? What a miserable shift to 
 cover a weak position ? (Sensation — many 'of the female mem- 
 bers making mouths at the speaker.) Stripped of the guise 
 of sophistry, what is the naked truth on this subject? Why 
 plainly, that man was created Jirst, not only in the order of 
 
 I 
 
 ,. 1 
 
 ) 
 
 / 
 
 •^' 
 
 T^- 
 
w 
 
 % 
 
 / 
 
 Follies op the XIXtii Century. 30] 
 
 time, but also in the scale of endowtnents ffbd authority. Let 
 whoever doubts it turn to the anthropological rtecord and read it 
 in plain English. The learned lady also debates, not reasons, 
 ■ the same point on the score of mechanical improvement. Aa 
 if Nature put out to a trade had; wrought 8\j«cessi've)|f as ap- 
 ^r^tice, journeyman— joif^nffy-tcowan rather — and mistress-^ 
 mechanic. ^. , • 
 
 " Now in the first place, the honorable lady's argument proyea 
 too much. It virtually predicates that- Nature was originally 
 imperfect, which amouutt to an open impeachment of the 
 handiwork of the great i^rchitect of the universe. 
 
 " But in the second place( the lady's reasoning proves noth- 
 ing at all J for if Nature Avas apprenticed, let the "honorable 
 lady produce the indentui'es. But admit, it. Grant, for argu- 
 luent's sake, tha^Nature in the march of artistic improvement, 
 fur any period however indefinite, and degree of perfection 
 however great, accomplished the product of woman. What 
 then ? Does the lady's conclusion follow ? Not at all. May 
 not a most skillful artisan turn oif the juost worthless job ? 
 Does it not indeedr^quire the galvanic powers of the nineteenth 
 Century to turn pinch-beck and pewter into gold, twenty carats ' 
 fine, with which to adorn the ' fashionables ? ' Can any short 
 of th6 highest commercial dexterity enable a bankrupt to sport 
 his ' coach and four ' on other people's money ? Is it not the 
 extreme of chemical acutenoss, from the bowels of the crucible, 
 to furnish the deniands of European and American aristocracy 
 with artificial diaiuonds, rivaling in their luster the great 
 ' Kohinoor ' it.self. "^Aud what, Mrs. Speaker,.let me ask, as 
 •:?. the, climax of all, what short of the miraqulous perfection of 
 
 ■ /«* 
 
 
1802 
 
 Lucy Hoston. 
 
 >' 
 
 ■ i » 
 
 'i 
 
 Yankee workmanship can surpass even Nature herself in the 
 \ manufacture of white-oak chccso, wooden nutmegs and garden 
 Bccds ! '^ (Bursts of applause from the left ^hisses from the 
 right.) In allusion totKe textural formation of the sexes, tho 
 honorable laO)', with an air of triumph, is' pleased to tall man 
 the stonc-waro, and woman china. Man, stone-ware ! Wo- 
 mHn, china ! Very well, admit it/ The lady is excefedingly 
 nnfortunato In her positions. Is the china-set put to daily, 
 conuBon use ? Or is it not kept in choice reserve to be spread 
 in the entertainment of comjiavi/?- I put it directly to- the 
 honorable lady herself, if this is not attested by her personal 
 knowledge and experience ? I challenge the honorable mem- 
 boiessao deny it./ Well now, let us apply this iathc form of 
 
 ■ .- 1 
 
 Kvlhogism : 
 
 N W'omnn is china-ware : - ' ' , ^ 
 
 But china-ware ia ma'<le for the entertainment of co»y)a«y-rr 
 
 ■^ ■ Therefore woman was inncle for the entertainment of'compnny. 
 
 "A^-ain — To advance aiwfhcr link in the chain: , 
 
 t' Company signifies visitors ; — 
 
 ■■% . .■• . ■ - " ' ' ^ . ' ■ " ' ' . ' 
 
 / . ; But «^J«V<v a are visitors— ^ ' 
 
 ■->■ ■ ■■ • ' . -■ ,''"-■ • ■, , 
 
 . .; Therefore suitors are cojjyjrtn^. 
 
 , " The adverse of the propoi^ition, amounting to a r'ednclio nj ■' 
 ■ aisi/rJ//m, is equirtly unfortunate for. the lady's cause. Put 
 
 in terms consonant' with'her own-showing^ - * .[. 
 
 ^ Man is dosi";ne»l for tlie entertainmeTit of cooipanyj . " 
 
 But man. is stone-Wiire ; ^' / i • 
 
 Therefore stone-wiire is designed for the entt^rta*inment of conipnny, 
 
 A conclusion direcMy contrfiry to tlie tiiAturf of things^ at least 
 
 '*.. 
 
i 
 
 FoLLijiH OF TiiK XIXth E N T U It y . 303 
 
 of stone and chinu, and the universal practice of society, for 
 this Jionorable lady will not aflinn that potterj/ is the highest 
 style of crockery ware ;. nay, she holds exactly the reverse. 
 
 " Thus, Mrs. SpeakeresSj.the power of absolute demonstration 
 deals a fatal blow to this bill, which constitutes wonirin the 
 court-erand man the court-fp, in all matrimonial alliances, and 
 which the honorable lady has so strenuously maiatained as the 
 pink of ttu]ptial orthodoxy, when as we have seen in the light 
 of reason and the nature of things — and hence' constitution- 
 ally considered — man is the suitor and woman the suit-cfe. 
 
 "But, madam, there is another aspect of this mearsui-e, stfll 
 moi'e monstrous, if possible — I mean its illegality. ' 
 
 " The honorably lady, in the course df her argument, declared* 
 that * man's, composition rcilucd was but the raw, material for 
 woman's mechanism.' This, madam, sounds very fine from the 
 lips of the eloquent membercss. But why did she not go fur- 
 ther and state the modus operandi of the thing ? The reason 
 .is obvious. She diare not do it. It would have been a death- 
 blo;^ to her bill. What^ madam, are the facts in the case ? 
 W,hy undeniably these. 'Adam retired to rest, and while fast 
 asleep, a rib was dislocated from his side, without his knowl- 
 edge or consent, and converted' into woman. 
 
 *' No^ I take it, Mrs. Speakeress, that. a man has a riglit to • 
 his own r/is ■wherever he can, find them, as much so as to any, 
 oi\xcv i^rsonal property whatever. But what is the ground . 
 assumed by the author and i supporters of this bill ? Why, 
 madam, as if it Were not enough ^for a man,|o have' a portion 
 of "himself abstracted coVcYtly, in tbe.daf-k, hp must now- sub--" 
 mit to be seized bodily pnd hpld,;t;i et armis. by force and 
 
 / 
 
 -^- 
 
X-i' 
 
 li^'' 
 
 :l.. 
 
 804 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 t. 
 
 i 
 
 1 
 
 arjns, like a fugitive from justice, and without either the powe< 
 of Aaft<;a«co»yM«, . or trial by jury. What is this, let me ask, 
 but political atheisdj and legalized piracy ? Are ladies and 
 gentlemeil prepared to voteffor a measure so burglarious, so 
 treasonable, so absolutely monstrous? I ,trow not. (Gr6at 
 applause from the left — groans from the right.) I shall not 
 attempt, madam, to follo,w the honorable lady in her eloquent 
 and pathetic" episode on cupids, arrows, crushed heart3,Kam.bro^' 
 sial curis, whiskers, et cetera, all of which has about as much 
 to do with the question before the house, as the 'Nebraska 
 swindle,' or the 'annexation of Cuba.' With this exposi- 
 tion of my sentiments,. Mrs. Speakeress, I sit." (Great /and 
 continued sensation in all quarters of the house.) , • / 
 
 Mrs. Pomposo of tlie metropolis arose. ^^ — " Mrs. Speakeress, 
 may It please your right honorable ladyship, I had beatified 
 my sensorium with the' deeply-sedted hope, that the extant 
 measure whic|i has absorbed so much of the time ahd talent of 
 this legislative corporeity, would have made its transit without 
 antagonism, and thus hav^ exonerated me from the onerou's- 
 ness of delivering my sentiments. But Such is the unexpected 
 and puissant opposition to this political enterprise, so antece- 
 dent in its conception, so righteous in its provisions, and so 
 magnificent in its consequences, that I dare not retrograde to my 
 constituency; without exalting my voice in a sample of oratory. 
 
 " Mr3..,Speak€ress, Xhave the perception of a line of . argu- 
 mentation as yet Untraversed, and 'which I covet the liberty 
 a«d honor of demarcating. I ni can the property {Argument. 
 
 " And firstly, in the incipiency of my discourse, allow me 
 tV vouchsafe the declaration that f am not under the impetus 
 
 >-i' 
 
 / 
 
 'M< 
 
 V,,.., 
 
 %' 
 
 ■ f- 
 
^• 
 
 / 
 
 H ■ ■ . 
 
 V - I • . • . ' 
 
 Follies or xM^ XIXtu Century. 806 
 
 ," ■ '^ ■ _ - ■ ' 
 
 of selGshness. ' True, I am the mother of sijc young ladietf 
 conqurrcntly marriageable and beautiful, between the ages of 
 twelye an4 twenty-four years. They are all around, that is, 
 circumambulated by suitors, but which possess the intrinsic 
 abatement of congenial and ade^quate property qualifications. 
 I aVn anchored in the determination that my offspring, so nobly 
 descended, so exquisitely beautiful and . accomplished, shall 
 Boyer so tarnish their ancestral escutcheon as to become the 
 'ladies^ of any thing less than billionaires. Mrs. Speakeress, 
 I persist in my adhesiveness to this measure, in the light of 
 public munificence." ' V ' - • 
 
 Mrs. Blunt of Stumptown, a bulky-looking matron, and 
 though somewhat* illiterate, contender with great natuiraV force, 
 in <Dpposition to the bill. 
 
 "Miss Spokesman," ^ald bulky Mrs. Blunt, "I have 
 brought twelve live boys up9n airth — ^Eeul^n tbe oldest and 
 Benny the littlest. There haint aipi|]r oil 'em matched yit^ and 
 I wants nobody^s gals taggin round arte? 'em 4r- Mrs. Pa.mpQN 
 Ker's six da'turs for kzample. ,1 reckoji as hciir my Iboys 
 kno-ws when its time for 'em ,to hate a woman, and whd. tWy 
 wants and how to gtt her tu. My old man.sparked me ecause 
 he liked me so bad, and that's just for why I had hina. If he 
 hadn't had h, genewine feeling towards me, he wouldn't a come 
 arter me at ail, and I woldn't thanked him'tu nuther. 1 wants^ 
 nobody that duzn't want me, , V^ 
 
 * " Now jist look here cinc't 7— you — Miss What's-yer-name, 
 up <|)n the stagen yender. Lets ps argyfy a bit. ,$pos'n a 
 chap had a soft a takin fur you, aipd you had no sort a'takin 
 -. 26* . . ■ -■'■"^- 
 
 V 
 
 -*— 
 
 •♦ 
 
 A- 
 
 ^^'-r 
 
TT^T 
 
 '^h 
 
 V 
 
 806 
 
 Lucy Bostow. 
 
 fur him back agin — you wouldn't want a marry him, would 
 you ? Nor ho you, if he warn't a tarnal fool ! 
 
 " Agin — Sposoyou was a gal, as you onc't was, an you tuck 
 to likin some feller, all-fired hard fur whatlci^, an, all' the 
 while he hadn't a spark o' feelin fur you, any/way; but you, 
 poor moon-struck, love-sick thing should coax, or force^ or give 
 him a fortin to be your man, agin his natur. I ax now, what 
 kind o* house-keepin you'd have ? I reckon as how, twouldn't 
 take much to guess I I've seen zackly sich in my day, and 
 pr'apa you mought be ditto. 
 
 " But now. Miss Specchifyer, in theced, to put this *^c thing 
 all in a heap together, will tote it right hum, an 'spose you 
 was e'en a'most gone with the heart-ache arter one o' the neigh- 
 bor's boys, an he the same or more so arter you, and so both - 
 on you ciprocated 'tothej: — jist as lovyers always ought-'er — 
 What then ? Why you'd hcv the knot tied twixt you -^quicker 
 — and all on airth couldn't stop it. , , 
 
 "Well then, I'd like to know what this 'ere new Love Bill, 
 as you call it, is good fur, when it duzn't alter nothin ? Them's 
 my sentiments. . 
 
 « But now. as how I'm on the floor, and its my rigJU to talk, 
 ril foller fashion and tack on a bit of a remark. ' " 
 
 "I'ze no Doctor of Philosophy nor Physic, in any "big de- 
 fffee, but I've: seen and felt natur. I'ze o' the opinion, if all 
 the legislati^ in Ameriky makes bills to turn the. univarse 
 about, 'tw^tot signify nothin. Fire'll burn — waterjll quench 
 — zephyQts '11 buss the roses — and the sp'eres '11 wheel and 
 spin like^ as ever. "* ' 
 
 \ 
 
 I ■. . 
 
■ r'- './■ 
 
 :t 
 
 i 
 
 \ 
 
 Follies of tiiE XlXtii Ce,ntury. 307 
 
 *' Now, I'll top off by saying, its nat'ral for u^ to like them 
 what likes us. Love goes where its a nufi4 to, and where luvo 
 goes the * parson ' follcrs. Ita natur's law^j an its no use fur 
 Miss Pamposrer nor the hull legislatur to go i^gin it. Natur, 
 I tell you, is a master institution enough sight ktoutcr'n all on 
 yer. So jist hang up ycr fiddle about thia 'ere bill" *- 
 
 Honorable Mrs. Blunt subsided heavily into her scat, amid 
 hisses, applause (fnd laughter. 
 
 It is useless to attempt to follow up the multifarious, lengthy 
 and heated discussion of this measure, attempted to be sprung 
 upon the Legislature and saddled qn the commonwealth, but 
 which was staved oflF most vigorously,- by all the means within 
 the constitutional reach of the "old schools." But the 
 "strong-minded" had fairly passed tht rubicon, and now they 
 pushed the " war into the enemies coup try." ' 
 
 Amid secret caucusing, buncome speeches, personal alterca- 
 tions, and amorous episodes, the famous Marriage Bill con- 
 sumed the entire session, to the exclusion of everything else. 
 The hundredth day found the Council of State in secret session. 
 Night closed upon the contest. Fierce and fiercer still grew ''^^ 
 
 of twelvp^ 
 ntmd^ar- \ 
 Tbe House' 
 
 the strife, when, as the town-clock tolled out the hour of twel^^ 
 the deed of darkness was done ! The vote was taken" 
 
 ried by the timely assistance of the doughfaces. 
 
 , if all 
 iivarse 
 [uencb 
 
 
 • adjourned. 
 
 
 ' 4. ' 
 
 
 i. ■'■ . . - 
 ■/■ _ . ■■.. 
 
 
 
 eland 
 
 ;# 
 
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 . ' '- 
 
 . •• 
 
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 • 
 
 • 
 
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 -■:■■' 
 
 » 
 
 
 
 . : ^ '■- ■ 
 
 
 
 
 
 » 
 
V 
 
 v_^ 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 " horror I horror 1 after thU alllanc*. 
 Let Ugcri. match with hlndB, and wolves with ihaep; 
 And every creature couple with Ub foe." 
 
 " While other doublets doviatfthore and tWre, 
 What Bccrf t handcuff binds that pretty pair? 
 Conipactest couple! prenslng Bide to Bide — 
 Ah ! the while bonnet - that reveals the brldo." 
 
 'A 
 
 HUMANITY is pre-eminently the meat progressive^ institu- 
 tion of this nineteenth century. In all its ramiGcations of 
 feeling, thought, and action, proi/''^^^ i^ the law. Especially , 
 was this true Of the "New Lights." . 
 
 In no direction did tho demonstrations of reform make such 
 rapid, far-reaching strides, as in the line of matritaony: The 
 « strong-minded" had taken the initiati by demolishing Hy- 
 men's altar, cutting down the Idalian Groves, and destroying 
 the " high places of marital idolatry," where the little-wipged 
 god,ever since the days of good mothct Eve, was wont to prac- 
 tice his skillful archery. .But this was merely the prelude. 
 What the mundane sisterhood had begun, the lady spirits com- 
 pletcd. The sacred myrtle, planted in the hot-bed of radical- 
 ism in spite.of the bleakness and frigidity of this terraqueous- 
 orb' by the arliBcial force of political horticulture and spiritual 
 chemical s , extended its roots into the morq genial soil, and 
 
 \ 
 
 T 
 
 308 , 
 
 ^ 
 

 i 
 
 \ 
 
 I 
 
 Follies of tuk'^IXtii Cbntuhv. 809 
 
 rcttchod out its brauclien, gracefully waving, into tha' ambrosial 
 atmosphere of tho ever-suuny Z(me8. 
 
 Spiritual Marringo or Frco Lovc-iHm was tho highcJjt pinna- 
 clo in tho upward progress of "development" — tho Mont 
 Blanc towiiriug in solitary grandeur, whoao brow dewy morn 
 and blushing ovo kiss first and lastj whoso hoary scalp, though 
 storm swept and disheveled, is yet encircled with tho eternal 
 diadem of alternate clouds and sunshiqo, so ethereal, so fairy, 
 
 •"' So softly blending, that the chcfttcd eye ..... 
 
 Forgets ot\ which is enrth or which is heaven." 
 
 The chief medium of this grand spiritual manifestation was 
 4hc Legislature. 
 
 The Spherical Fillibustcr^ had'cohquercd' tho annexation of 
 Earth to the Zones.- Carrying ottt logitimateiy the code of con- 
 quest, they claimed lor themselves at least a shih;|j in- the coun- 
 cils of state. .Accordingly, stats wore awarded lomembt/rs from 
 the Spheres. Besides, the cupitol was enlarged by thc'addition 
 of a masrniticeut Chamber of Conference pr Spiritual Star- 
 Chamber, constructed exclu.^ively for spiritual caucusing, and 
 the reception and transmission of couitijuiiieations Ijy spiritual 
 telegraph, express," and privato iiu^soiig't'rs. ' : 
 
 ' Unparalleled was the .galaxy of Si.hcrical Itoproscntativcs. 
 Queen Elizabeth, Empress J|^t1ierinegt^iicen of Sheba, Jezebel, 
 Queen Dido, Qu(ien Mab,in short, the \V hole troop of "strong- 
 . mind^il" magnajtes from remntost aniiijuify, downwards. 
 
 ^^noiij^ the (hur/h/<ur.'i, or. t<> use a mni(> charitable term, the 
 jHJji»ir.W/,//i.-, that is to sa\., tlu' aUxMrnts of the hewndministra- 
 tioii,,l>ai.iel Webster, \i iuy C.ay, Dr. Fniiiklin, John Kan- 
 
810 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 dolph, Lord IJacon, Cicero, Swcdcnborg, King Solomon, Moaci, 
 I)avy Crockett, Lorenzo Dowo, and Joe Smith, all of whom, 
 with numerous othcrs^f the same "fttripo," held scata in the 
 LcgiBlature through their respective Mediums. 
 
 Venus and Cupid surrounded by t*he Muses, with troops of 
 Nymphs and Graces, thronged the lobbies and galleries, 
 
 The Spirituals were decidedly the Lyons and Lyonem* of 
 both Houses, and " crushed out" every thing that opposed them. 
 
 The Matrimonial Bill had been passed in the grots. It re- 
 mained to be refined and sublimatenl' into Spiritual Marriage 
 and Free Love-ism, by way of progressive amendment. It was 
 not enough to disfranchise the Lords of Creation miafrimoiitalfy, 
 and allow their fair oppressors the right of choosing a solitary"^ 
 companion and compelling him to submit to the conjugal yoke, 
 howmuchsoever repugnant to his feelings, his tastes, or his 
 affinities. The most important, spiritual, and holy of all human 
 institutions, both in respect to its intrinsic character and extrinsic 
 results, could not be left in so crude a form — worthy only of 
 pagans the most benighted and undeveloped. The honor of 
 the sex, the welfare of tlu; race, and the glory of Spiritualism,' 
 demanded itsjall-perfi'j-t consummation in ihe doctrine andpracr^ 
 tice of Free J^iOVe. » 
 
 Free Love-isiiiFi Fpiritual M#ringe! Reader, do you un- 
 derstand and apprec»tc its import ? Let the advocates of the 
 highly-progressed "institution" expound it. 
 
 " Marriage is the law of heavcu; the marriage of thp spirit 
 is the only marriage t6 abide in any condition. The marriage 
 institutidii of mm i^ wrong, and must be annulled ere the race 
 
 ia icdetiUiud. 
 
 U 
 
 i 
 
 '^ 'fSSr 
 
 *. 
 
 •f .: 
 
FOLLIBB OF TUB XIXtU CENTURY. 
 
 811 
 
 I 
 
 « All mankind were created male and female, in pairs, per- 
 fectly mated. The mal<;^,-gencrally oomes upon the earth fir«t, 
 and is older, by few or many years (the diffcrcnco being gene- 
 nflly from five to twenty years) j and they are generally located 
 near each other, so that, if circumstances bo favorable, they can 
 
 ujjBct and bo united. ' 
 
 "Unless divinely attracted to each othe.r and conjoined in 
 eternal truth, no marria|^ mn bo rightly celebrated, and noae 
 other will Fove ought but miserable. As there can bo but one 
 proper marriage, so ihero can only bo one marriage on the 
 earth. Man Mid wt)man drawn together by the moral interior 
 of their natures, and driven onwards from the bosom of the 
 ..Father to the eternities/shall be united to the eternities and 
 never severed. Marriage not thus consummated, will exist but 
 for a time, but when eternity breaks upon our rwe, every man 
 and everywoman shall see his and her own to be united for- 
 
 -eveff * ■ 
 
 « Free Love is like the outgushing of water that bubbles from 
 out the fountain to kiss the morning air, — that gives itself to 
 its own in holy marriage, free only from the despotism of man- 
 nerisin, and from care of the thoughts and opinions of an un- 
 righteous society." - ■ 
 
 Or, t<ube more specific, if we rightly comprehend it. Free 
 Love is essentially and solely a spherical element— one of the 
 ■ fundamental spiritual harmonics — a primordial inseparability 
 of the eternities - a primogenial coefficient of the supersensible 
 Zones — a cognate principle of original materiality, flowing 
 lineally towards matrimonial, social, and moral conscmance in 
 the universal and eternal flux, nf things. ^ _ 
 
&^ 
 
 
 % 
 
 .!..„.!«&. A^ 
 
^ 
 
 812 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 *' Id conformity with, or more logically speaking, coexistent 
 and inseparable, if not identical with this ante-cosmological or 
 pre-existent basis, Frep Love exists and springs — the ideal and 
 the actual, the simple ontological and complex phenomenal — 
 spirito-material entity "ttnindividuated," or sjuricili/ in the 
 lump, radiating into individualities, sensific, rational and moral, 
 ; or »piricity *' individnatedf" ythloh individuationa in turn col- 
 lapse into inseparability, or spiricity perfection — — so that 
 conditional plurality becomes absolute singularity; that is to 
 0ay, abstract duality contracts into substantial, copscious unity; 
 and again concrete dualism absorbs and terminates itself in su- 
 pra-spiritual /o/a?i<y /" 
 
 To make it still more perspicuous, if po.shible, lit us resort to 4 
 a diflFerent terminology. *^ 
 
 All personal identities are distinguishable in to sexual indi- 
 vidualities. These individualities possess original conforma- 
 tions differing respectively from each other, in endless, wide, 
 and iufihitessimal variety, yet under the plastic force of dualistio 
 law, resolving themselves spontaneously into duads .or counter- 
 parts — intellectual and moral, physical, affectional and connu- 
 bial duplicates, bating the gender. 
 
 Thus in the development of infinite disagreement is mani- 
 fested finite agreement — amid endless repulsions, individual 
 .polarities attracted to the point of magnetic unity, by which 
 limited inherence, coherence, and dependence, out-crop into 
 personal, absolute, and universal independence. In other words, 
 throughout the heterogeneous external conglomeration of hu- 
 LfE^miy in the " form," there is the development of pre-existent, 
 •ntithetieal sexualities — spiritual nehuke, which penihcatod 
 
 J 
 
 \ 
 
 -\: 
 
 >#'' ■ 
 
^"^^R ' 
 
 , _.p:™-j 
 
 '^'w^^^n^^^'^'w^f^ ^ 
 
 1 
 
 % 
 
 \ 
 
 -^: 
 
 Follies of the XIXth Century. 318 
 
 apd surcharged with the essence of elective afl&nity, jiiutually 
 gravitate, meet and cohere into conjugal synthesis, in which 
 process subjective affection gushes spontaneously into objective 
 ' activity,-hastening to and terminating in the grand ullimatuvij 
 the neplus ultra development of unalloyed spiVui'/y / In fine, 
 to render the whole thing transparent to even the opaque sense 
 of the most undeveloped mortals, we have only to add, that Free 
 Love is a pre-existent cause of which true matrimonial alliance 
 I is the present ij,nd post-existent effect, in the direct progression 
 of antecedent and consequent — the a posteriori manifestation 
 being dependent upon and governed by the a priori fitnessi 
 1. whereby the physical, metaphysical, moral and social economy 
 ^ is conditioned, d^eloped and subordinated by the spiritual. 
 Such is the rationale of Free Love, or spiritual husband- 
 and-wife-ism ; the new and highly advanced theory of hyme- 
 neal aesthetics, or the feeling of the beautiful and the true, the 
 Bythphonious and the beatific, constituting the clairvoyance of 
 the heairt, by which correspondent nuptial instincts recognize 
 each other, and at first glance, according to a pre-established 
 harmony, meet and coalesce in the most affectionate embrace ! 
 A bill embracing such principles, so dissimilar and antago- 
 nistic to the views and time-established custom of all civilized 
 nations, was, to say the least of it, a remarkable novelty in the 
 history of political science. Public opinion denounced it in 
 unmeasured terms,-not only as delusion and folly, but the flood- 
 gate of iniquity, yet was it put forth endorsed by all the Spir- 
 ituals as the forerunner and glad earnest of the millennium. 
 What if the people were not rife for the measure ?' What 
 
 if society had not sufficiently progressed to appreciate and wel- 
 . , 27 - 
 
 .^v .•»■>«? 
 
 T 
 
 M,- 
 
.^fep". 
 
 ^ 
 
 814 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 _.*&;■- 
 
 K 
 
 u 
 
 •ome it ? What if it did materially conflict with the memora- 
 ble Marriage Bill previously passed, and Which was considered 
 "' the ultir»atum,the final and perpetual settlement of the great 
 . question ? DeWopment must progress. Leading spirits de- 
 veloped so far in ad,vance of the age can not tvait the tardy 
 movement of rudimclital mortals. Legal landmarks, in com- 
 mon with -every thing else, must;yield to the high swelling, on- 
 rushing current of Progress. 
 
 ' Long and heated was the controversy between the Sphericals 
 and iC most radical of the « strong-minded " mundaneans, on 
 this fundamental and very delicate topic ; the latter party taking 
 the broad' ground without modification or compromise, that in 
 
 no instance had man any right whatever to take thelead in the 
 
 8cien<;e and- axto^ matrimony, in any of 
 
 courtship, wedlock or domestic rule. 
 
 But the Sphereites were by no means disposed to succomb 
 
 to the rudimcntals, for spirits can be tenacious as well as mortals 
 ; in the flesh. Indeed, the higher theMegree of spiricity the 
 
 greater its independence, a manifestation which might easily 
 
 be, and doubtless often is, construed into obstinacy by those 
 
 less; developed. 
 
 iarty spirit ran high. -Hot and hotter grew the contest, 
 unll argument gave place to personalities, zeal to animosity, 
 threats to violence. Slung-shot, bpwie Jcnives, and revolvers, 
 material and spiritual, were brandished profusely, by the fiery 
 legislative gladiators, foremost and fiercest among whom, was 
 Jbe'Smith, the doughty champion pf polygamy, and for his 
 matchless eminence sumamed the Mf^/hfi/ Joe. , • 
 
 Challenges to mortal combat welo given and accepted. But 
 
 1 . 
 
 \^y^ 
 
Follies of the XIXth Century. 315 
 
 smora- 
 »dcred 
 9 great 
 rits tte- 
 3 tardy 
 a com- 
 ,ng,on- 
 
 bericals 
 sans, on 
 ^taking 
 that in 
 1 in the 
 Lther of „. 
 
 luccomb ' 
 mortaln 
 city the 
 it easily 
 )y those 
 
 con test j 
 limosity, 
 Bvolvcrs, 
 the fiery 
 lom, was 
 I for his 
 
 • ■ - v.- 
 3d. But 
 
 the " Ifnthorities " threatened to interfere, the political sages 
 and master spirits interposed a compromise, the "code of 
 honor " received the go-by, all insults were mutually pocketed, 
 and the Free Love Bill progressed. In prospect, the domestic 
 econom^^udsed, improved, and enlarged, was committed to 
 the su«HHbi and control of the Zones. 
 
 The ^crisis wais regarded as passed. Althpugh not fully de- 
 veloped in form, by positive, legal enactment, yet spiritually, 
 and ta all intents and purposes, Free-wifc-and-husband-isln 
 the law of the land. __ ' 
 
 Behold now the fruits of {)olitical reform ! Myrtle boughs 
 waved over the heads, rosebuds, phlox, and jonquils — eloj- 
 qucrft symbols— -flourished in the bosoms and button-holes of 
 th(^|^iritual members, and carrier doves with celestial plu- 
 mafe fluttered and cooed from desk to desk. 
 
 Free Love manifested itself in the fusion of the hitherto dis- 
 cordant and antagonistic elements of both Houses. Members 
 began respectively and dualistically to discover their reciprocal 
 internal congeniality and aptitude,, so that ere long was scarcely 
 to be found a representative without a spiritual companion. 
 Nor were the developments, of this tremendous stride in the 
 onward march of progress limited by tbfe walls of the capitol, 
 or the bounds of the legislature. The reform s{)read like wild- 
 fire. Everywhere spirits were busy as bees, in promoting the 
 due^peration of the about-to-be new enactment. Young men 
 and maidens, bachelors and spinsters with blood " caked and 
 cold," felt the inward warmth and motions of Free Love. Hus- 
 bands and wives discovered, to their astonishment and regret, 
 that they were mismatched — in truth, they were never matched 
 
 1r 
 
 V. 
 
'■'h 
 
 /W^-' 
 
 
 I *. 
 
 i 
 
 
 816 
 
 LjJCY. Boston. 
 
 * at all— being desUtute of the requisites ot true marriage, that 
 Jp, neither inherently adapted to each other, nor coherently and 
 divinely attracted, and consequently not "conjoined in eternal 
 
 truth." .Ilow^ unlike genuine spiritual marriage, in vhjch not' « 
 merelyihe artificial ligaments of legislation and custom harness > 
 ' together the .parties in- external companion^ip like draught- 
 ' anlmalsj^ut where trtfove and antecident fe human conventipnr 
 alitiep, spirit embrac4 spirit in sweet elective affinUy, ai^d the ^ 
 ~:affections^ instead o^ being either periodically or* permanently J 
 atlogge^htads, are ^iritually dovetailed and glued together in 
 ^ perfect and indissoluble union,at once demonstrating the beailty 
 . and' the genius of pure matrimonial stoics and dynamic^ ! ^ 
 / Witness thd happy doublet, un:\ttended by priest or squire, 
 ■ who, lite heartless mercenaries, for the sake of ^he /eevyoke- 
 in mock wedlock thoge'who, from equally mercenary or other- 
 wise unworthy motive's^ consent to the.farcial performance — 
 witness, we say, the happy doublet as in^ontaneous conjuno- 
 ' tion they^tep forth, hand in hand, heart in heart, twain in 
 one, and recife in concert the formula of spiritual marriage. 
 "Have you seen the morning . sunbeam kiss the opening 
 " blossom ? Thus^did our spirits meet and greet at the- first in- 
 ■ terviW J and as the invisible elements of nature unite and 
 • blend in one harmonious impulse, so are our spirits affinitized 
 
 * ' into on.e accor$nt living forpe. Whoever are thus unitQd by 
 
 tlic eternal "laws of affinity, naught has authority tb separate. 
 AVe thus introducQ our>elves unto'you in the relation of husband 
 
 • and wife.'* • ' .* ^ 
 
 Could any thing short of the Spheres be so poetical, pictur- 
 
 ; "esque and hyper-romantic ? What is it but the flower of 
 
 
 \ 
 
 1*8: 
 
 _Lil,.. 
 
 V 
 
'^'1, 
 
 . \ 
 
 lage. 
 opening 
 first in- 
 lite and . 
 Unitized 
 
 »itQ4 ty 
 leparate. . 
 husband 
 
 f- i 
 
 I, pictur-\ 
 lower of 
 
 V 
 
 • V S FoLLIEdOfTI^E XIXtH CUNTtJRY. 817^ 
 
 spiricity, tl^e zepith of social development, the ipblim^cUmax 
 0^ domestic aesthetics ? •' '• \ 'V 
 
 ' This presents' t1le.^Ura*s]^ritual phase of the new connubial, 
 nisjnifestsition." Now glance at. the Woman's Right's side of 
 the pictures ' ^ • ■ . - • ■ ' i- •. 
 
 Hon. Lucinda Hardhead and Bennj^Hv Brbw.^well dc- ■ 
 ^ teclibgin each other corresponding instinctsj.and a tc'ciprpcal - 
 '.conformation phrenoiogtcal', psycotdgical, aporous^ and r^toi^- _ 
 -^atory,ascencl .the platform, thoij'atterl^d by the ^former, an|; 
 , lace to fUce, in the presence of •heaven add ; the wdri4j^pi'«- , ' 
 noutice the.;pitl of Rights, coiistitutiijg ttremrirespcctivfely. eaclv . 
 ^ otber's " ^a^^y-" and (/e^t/Zewan-duly and kwfutly unit^ for all 
 the purposes of th^ domestic ^m sbcial economy. ' I , ^ , ' . 
 ^ Lucinda : -^ *^ WJiile I am not irisensible of the fM ihat m- 
 atorialspiripity rt^ciiJirocated, condtitul^ath'e founjdation of the;so- 
 ; . called relationship of Kusbtind and'<vife, now assumed by us, yet 
 . ' gelf-resp^, self-protection, aind the development of a dominaijt_ 
 
 • principle impel us to the following Declaration of Rights : "'^ . v 
 
 Ben^jy: — ."While I ackiiowledge the iiistituti(Jh of love, 
 andlnarriage which m"akes.yswifeand husband, yet I feel com- 
 pelled to subscribe to the folJoWlng declaration of rights : " 
 ' Lu<3iNDA : — " This performance implies, on ^M^ part, no ac- 
 : kttowledgmcnt nor promise of submission to any authority of 
 
 my servant." ' ^ :» ^ ' ,* *' 
 
 B|;nny : — " This performanco implies on your part no ac- 
 knowledgment nor promise of submission, to. your most pbe 
 
 ■ - '^ ■ 
 
 & 
 
 ^ » 
 
 1 -^j 
 
 dient servant." > ' « " .^ v 
 
 ' Lucinda : -- " Thou^ fdrmlng a matrimonial, union, t am 
 still free and indepondenC.''^ ' ;• 
 
 27* - - • ..^ ■':■'' ' ^ ' ■■ '> ■■ 
 
 . . . SUI — L_ , . . fc ^..: . . --• , Jt _Jl_ 
 
 * J^.^ . . 
 
 ■71 
 
 . •#.■■,.„. 
 
 
 V- 
 
 '^- 
 
 
 
 ',r^M~- 
 
^WBTTT^P^-f ■SWti-^'-^V'^ ,.!"-■*■ 
 
 /• 
 
 I- • 
 
 818 >Lucv;, Boston. '. , 
 
 Benny : — " Though forniinig a matrimonial union, joi are 
 still free and independent." . * . -' 
 
 LuciNDA : — " No gentleman will' claim - Buperiority over 
 
 » 
 
 -w.oman. 
 
 Benny: "No gentleman will claim Buperiority over 
 
 woman." 
 
 LuciNDA : — " No honoraHe man will so degrade his com- 
 panion as to call her by the vulgar and barbarous name of - 
 
 wife." • / 
 
 ]^nNy: — "No honorable man will so degrade his, com- 
 panion as to call her by the vulgar and barbarous name of 
 
 wife." ^ . .' ' " ' 
 
 LuciNDA : — ^ " To every married woman belong, as inalienable 
 
 rights"^ >" \ ■' 
 
 Benny : — "To every married woman belong, as inalienable 
 
 ights" — " . -^ 
 
 LuciNDA : — " The absolute headship of the household." 
 Benny : — " The absolute headship of the household." 
 LuciNDA : — " The exclusive control of the purse." ^ 
 Benny :' — " The exclusive control.of the purse^" 
 V LuciNDA :-—" The entire direction of all matt^;rs of busi- 
 
 ■» ■ ..'. 
 
 1 
 
 •<» 
 
 t^ 
 
 toess." ,^ , ' 
 
 Benny: — **The entire direction of all mtters of busiv 
 
 nelss.''- . - ^^\ 
 
 LuciNDA :-^" The choice of residence and style of Hvjng." 
 • Benny : — " The ehoioe of residenqe and style of living." 
 
 Lucinda': — "Tbe undisputed privilege of visiting and^ 
 traveling when and where, and as bug as inclinltioa proiKJ|)ts, 
 or gratification, demands." 
 
 ■ 
 
 ^ 
 
 \ ^ 
 
 b 
 
 
 .-, 1; 
 
 '-■:::\i ■■ 
 
 :^&'} 
 
 ■ t ■". 
 
 
 .1.1 
 
 '.• »' 
 
 ■■ t^-'-' *< 
 
 ''^'\ 
 
 i> , ■ 
 
 
 , aj, 
 
 ■■ 
 
 "» '"'^ * ' . V 
 
 ■■"fi- 
 
 /■« -^ 
 
 . " I 
 
 T k-:; 
 
are 
 
 fbusi- ' 
 r busiv 
 
 >» 
 
 '1 
 
 . FOLLIEA or THlB XIXtB CE^TVtllt' 819 
 
 - Benny : — " The undisputed privilege of visiting and trav- 
 eling when and where, and as logg as inclination prompts, or . 
 gratification demands." 1- - - 
 
 LuciNDA : -^ " tn short, the Unabridged liberty ©f thinking, ' 
 speaking, and acting, or the pontrary, in all tasea Vnatsoever, 
 aqclrding to the dictates of her own judgpaent ot pleafure j in 
 other worcfe, as she plcasps." "* ' 1 ' 
 
 Benny:— '."In shorty the unabridged libeHy 4j^"th!ttkfog, 
 . speaking, and aetfngi or the oonlraiy, in all eases wha'tso()v«r, 
 accl^rding to the dictates of -her own. Judgment or pleasure), in 
 other wa^^s, assho .pleases/*-; ' . • ' ' 
 
 liuciNDA : — " In allcoses of dom<5sli©4if6cui<iJlis-^ should 
 ''any chance, to arise -nbccomih^ gallantry, courtesy, arid a 
 prpper regard for p^aco in the family, 'will -^uire the ni^leto 
 '..yield his opinions and prcferencos,„but'wheJri such treasonable 
 aqquiesceWe. i»'refusfed> it ^^H. be- referred to the Ai&ighJ^orfi, 
 to decide the question . l^etween thd .contending pardps, and 
 whose decision shall' be finar." . " . ^s jgr 
 
 ' JSenNY : — " In all family quarrels it belcmgs to.the husband 
 to Submit to hh ' btettcr-half ;^,,but^ vhcn in jud^men^^ud con- , 
 jscicuce be feels bound to,*tand his'groutid, th^p neigbbora shall • 
 be eallei in, to settle tj^e difficullg, and'frojpi tb^Mr decision there , 
 1 shall be no appeal." ' . "'^ • , . 
 
 LirciNDA : — " Finally, we record • t)ur solemn protest 
 
 aivainst t^e old'kws, rules, and customs, matrimoniul and 
 
 domestic, which at best ate but h nuisance and ^ pest; the 
 
 " rotten reKcs of unprogressed heathenism. Furthermore, as ra- 
 
 iional, independept beings,, in the progressive spirit of legisla- 
 
 ' the, Booial &vA H»<!»ra\ reibrm, yre individually and mutuAlly 
 
 ■ll 
 
 I. 
 
 .■;,//. ' ,1. 
 
 t 
 
 
 
 
 .^.^!- 
 
 
 
 
 'V; 
 
 'r^i--:.* 
 
 ^ 
 
 •N 
 
 
 ";■■ ■ 
 
 ,,■ _ ■■•■ 
 
 t 
 
 
 
 V^'' 
 
 
 »■ M 
 
 
 1 1 
 
 . " 1 
 
 0" 
 
•K^ 
 
 820 
 
 XuoY Boston^ 
 
 ^ 
 
 t 
 
 abjure and set at deOance all control, rule, or restraint, in our 
 associated capacity, save the foregoing articles of our matrimo- 
 nial creed and co-partnership." / * . 
 
 Benny :-^"-Awm/V 
 VSigned), ; LtJCXNDA Hardhead. 
 
 > Benny H. Brownwell. 
 
 Supplementary to this niiptial mani&Stoand the delivery o| 
 jnarria^ certificates, by statute, in such cases made and provid- 
 ed, bow highly dramatic and impressive ty sealing ceremony 
 lin ratification xjf the conjugal alliance. . ' 
 
 M Benny de4r/my salutation ! which makes us Iwain a unit. 
 [ Mitfifest your loyalty," exclaims the bride with severe dignity, ^ 
 at the same time dealing him a smart >lpw on the cheek with 
 her open palm —jnost earnest and significant for a "love-tap," 
 
 surely. ' ■ °' " ' ''■■■ •" - ■ '■;. ' / 
 
 " The league is.struek. Accept tlie, pledge of my troth, thou 
 "Might. of my eyes! my < better half and stronger three-quar- 
 jys/ Witness all ye spheres, rudiraental and supernal, the 
 fealty I owe and vow to my liege mistress, whosS throne is my 
 shriire, whose footstpol my thrope," responded the groom with 
 -the utmost meekness and docilit^^falling on his knees and ar- 
 dently pressing to His lips the empiy glove pf *his goddess-like 
 
 spouse. .', .—.■/'■:'.'■ ■ ■-^-..,uJ\. . - 
 
 Hon. Mrs. and Mr. Hardhead thus dqnnubially devcl ped 
 
 '«,'," ,''■ -X, 
 
 according to the great, eternal law of spiritM harmonics, pro- 
 gress at once into the honeymooui That honeymoon! How 
 shall we describe it ? for the descriptive power of the high'- 
 ftgt poetio and sentimental spiricity, with 'pen fucked from 
 
 I 
 
 
•M 
 
 »» 
 
 + 
 
 FoLLX'Bs or ^s XIXtu Cbntury. 82i 
 
 Cupid's wipg and dipped ia the qutQtessoDce of all velesfcial^, 
 f weets, and fairj fingers to lend their obarm in delineationi of 
 the hlisaful picture I Wish, h6w vain ! and never to be real- 
 ized, till the Fathers ahd Mothers- of eloquence and 'song de- 
 scend in Iheir combined and concentrated mellifluetice from the 
 empyrean o# th6 Seventh Sphere. < ShaH we then ^although 
 the medium of prophetic history, yet as a chronicler in ihe 
 
 "forra,^^t best* and of necessity but. partially progressed — 
 shall we vebturo upon a theme sa intenWiy and delicately ex- 
 quisite,' only to belittle and caricature it, with our rudi&ental 
 goosequlU^ Ye gods and goddesses of Oelestial Parnassus, save 
 us*tlie darii](g, presumptuous, sacrilcgioas thought! But if We 
 may not trea'd with vulgar, rudimcntal feet upon the enchaiited 
 ground of that honeymoon, we may be permitted, as an author- 
 izcd historian, to follow in the trail of Mrsi^Hardhead and^vn- 
 thman, for a short space, with pencil and note book. i ' 
 
 We modestly forbear, however, to extend our narrative, or 
 push our researches within the sanctum-sanctbrum of family ' 
 privacy, nalwithstandingvtho do'mestic archives would yield irari- 
 treasure?, to enricli and adorn our page. « ^' , 
 
 The scene before the curtains is sufficiently indicative of 
 what passed behind them. . But' whatever else may have trans- 
 'pired there i,n , relation' to opinion add authority, there JsVno 
 reasonable ground for the presumption that any altercations 
 ever occurred, inasmuch as Mr. Hardhead privatelyj aiid on, the 
 liyuienial platform, publicly entered into bonds to kedp the . 
 family peace J while Mrs. Hardhead very prudently reserved fdr 
 herself,, under perpetual guaranty, the^right— -and that an in- 
 alienable one — of always consulting her own^^ill and pleagort' 
 
 I- 
 
 ^> 
 
\ 
 
 Ml' * ^■ 
 
 822 Lu'CY Bo»ToM. ^ •■ * 
 
 without dictation or interforencb from her minor "half" and 
 vieaker one-quarter. 
 
 Installed aa B0vereign,in doors and out, and firmly enthroned 
 in her isolated supremacy, not only domestically, but to the 
 extent of Mr. Hardhead's sphere of political and business rela- 
 tions, Lucinda could with emphasis adopt the language of the' 
 
 great Selkirk, , 
 
 ^ . •' I am mofiarch of all I survey, 
 
 My right there is none to dispute." f 
 
 Only upon a solitary occasion — and that before the days of 
 the honeymoon were ended — did it happen otherwise, when, 
 under a sudden impulse occasioned by the expiring struggle 
 for his manhood, Benny so far forgot himself as to venture 
 the suggestion to his fair yokemate, that she had by far tho 
 longest end of tho lever. 
 
 "My dear Mrs. Hardhead," said he with ancifort at manly 
 independence, "if I do not misapprehend, you claim to hold 
 the balance of power in everything appcrtiyning to otir co-pavt- 
 
 nership." ' . 
 
 "Pray sir," responded she, "where should tjio balance of^ 
 power lie, if not in the natural and legal head of- our domestic 
 and social commonwealth ? '^ .. - 
 
 " "Very true, Mrs. H , hut who is the natural and -legal 
 
 head? That is the jucs/ioft." , 
 
 " That waz the question, but it is not now, and what is more, 
 air, it never shall be." # .| 
 
 " But you seem imperative," ' ' 
 
 .«. ■ 
 
 .1 
 
 ■.•*,>v 
 
 <' And you seem impertinent." 
 
 I 
 
 
f- 
 
 u 
 
 s 
 
 m 
 
 Follies ov tue XIXtu Century. 323 
 
 "Ten thousand pardons, my dear Mrs. Hardhead, I meant 
 
 not the slightest disrespect, but — bera-^I — it — " 
 
 "Kut — you — it— what?" - * 
 
 " If I may speak it, my dearest Mrs. II -- — , I will. ' To 
 
 till the truth, in spite of myself, the feeling will keep constantly 
 
 coming over md, that wo aro somewhat unequally yoked to- 
 gether."- ""• , : ■.,-, -—j--:-^-'r--'--'- -■ -J^-",-* ^ . ~ 
 
 "Indccdl" - 
 
 ** I mean wo are not exactly even." %i^ 
 
 "Indeed!" . ' Jf ■ 
 
 "That is to soy, wo are not entirely one." I have been 
 thinking of what tho Bible says about marrinKe, that "they 
 twain" — meaning husband and wU'e — "shall bo one flesh.'^ :^ 
 
 "Tho Bible! Don't beset mo with any of your old hca- J| 
 then fablcH," exclaimed Lucindu, with a toss of the head, and 
 "a curl of the lip. 
 
 ■^ " Sp:ne tho ' good book ' such disrespectful epithets, Mrs H.," 
 responded he j " it claims to be a divine revelation, and on 
 yery good grounds, it appears to me — at least, I am thinking 
 better of it than I was." 
 
 " And I am thinking worse of it, if possible. Divine revc- — 
 
 jatifn ! For pity'ss^ke, inform me what makes you think it \^ 
 
 divine?" A 
 
 " It is so full of common sense." .* 
 
 "So full of nonsense, more like. Pray wherein do you 
 Jnd its superabundance of common sense?" .-. =^ '" ^ 
 
 " Well, I don't know how to express it any better than tho 
 
 JitneM of things which it teaches. It puts every thing and 
 
 every per«o» exactly in the rtgr^i 2>fotc«." 
 
 * %^, 
 

 '■!# 
 
 "824 
 
 (< 
 
 Lucy Uobton. •^ 
 
 Ah I lundcihtund. Thooldcrcca: ' Wive»<, Bubmit your- ^ 
 
 solves unto jour own 
 
 hus\.im(ls. Foi- the hu-Hbund is \U bcud 
 
 of the wife. Tlmt thc>- may tcacb tl.o youuj; womi-a tu |.»vc 
 
 their Luftbuuils, to lovo their ohildien, 
 
 tu bo /,-nj)f^HHf linVi'' 
 
 iood, obedieut ^o 
 
 their own UusbuudH,' and po ou. ^ hi.s iiii.UoH 
 
 dx 
 
 *ji Ai)ur sum total of diviuo rovf 
 
 latioti, I sfll'posc, but which 
 
 1 hay,is, of itH-lf, j«uffioiout to stni.p your Duuk of (Jod a libel 
 ou conmiou ji»tico und propriety, not to say dcciuey. Such 
 sentiments: Why, they make Ood^stultify hinibelf, ub«..hite. 
 ly. Contkicius, or even St. Paul — wiw c-luinis U liimsclf 
 their inspired nuthor.-hip — unprogrc5sod heathen though l.o 
 was, among heathen, ouglit to have blu.shCU with shame to 
 teach a doctrine bo utterly monstrous and revolting." 
 " But do you rank the Ai)ostlc Paul with C!onfu(.'iu!j ?" 
 "And why not, pray?" 
 
 « Was not Paul divinely inspired, a.s he clauiicd to be ? " 
 
 •<No more 60 : — not so much, us was Confucius, without 
 
 claiming to be. But why set yourself up to argue the ease. 
 
 There are the papers, sir," said the Hon. Mrs. II., with au air 
 
 of triumph, showing him the "Bill of Rights," signed and 
 
 Ecalcd. 
 
 Mr. Hardhead was speechless. He had tied his own hands ; 
 thrust his own neck into tUe yoke, and there seemed no alter- 
 native for him but submission. Poor man ! But why demur 
 or repine at his dpmestic vassalage? W«s it not ordained, alike 
 by legal statute and the law of development, converging to the 
 focal°po'nt of Woman's Rights ? With such elements, ordU 
 nant and subordinate, entering into, and forming the base of 
 
 *•# 
 
 the newly-organized nuptial "institution," how beautiful and 
 
 7 1 . 
 
 #' 
 

 ■ » ■ 
 
 FO 1,1*1 EH OP 
 
 IXrii Centuhy. 825 
 
 itself, Uio BuporHtructuie 
 bavo been, it needs ilt)t a 
 
 iiJmpoHing — l>rtw worth 
 of cvory-day life must, 
 very fruitful iinii}riimtion,ti 
 
 Ah part and parcel of the honeymoon, flfeti. Mrs. llar.lhend 
 nnJ gcntkninn ciniltl "by no means dispens^o with the bvidul 
 tour. Did not our proseribed liujita forbid it, wo should de- 
 light to foUow the ilUwtiiouH p«ir, and-iakc notes, which mighL 
 caHily bo elaborated into the most intoreiitiDg-" Bod^^^ 
 
 travcW . \- . -:.^,', - ,. ■ ;,'.'■' 
 
 Suflieo it to wy, Mrs. and m Ilardheftfl, wherever they 
 weiit, were the ''ob.scrvcd of all observers." As the pioneers 
 of matrimonial reform, under the opcrationof the new mar- 
 riago code, and the Hon. Lucinda being^Rp'lf a prmccsa 
 among the nitignatesj of the State, they were greeted all along 
 their route with ovorwUclming congrfttulations, Their journey 
 was a continuous fett. Chief of all, Ciovcrnor Lucy honored 
 them with a soircr. magnificently grand. Bright 
 
 «' The lumps slioiic o'er Arai'C ti'om-'/i nml/r/r mm,'' 
 
 and to the most voluptuous music tripped the " light fantastio 
 toe," while hundreds — and among thciil the chief notabilitips 
 of the Spheres', not excepting the Mermaid — crowded to tbo 
 reception room, with eager fivalry in paying their addressci 
 to the Lioncsa of .the evening. ^^ 
 
 Gov. Boston entertained the concourse with a ppcech singu- 
 larly/appropriate to the occasion, amt which was unanimously 
 pronounced one of her most brilliant cfTorts. The Mermaid, 
 through her Medium, followed in a teat strain of blank verse, 
 with which, did it not appear invidious or partial, we should 
 
 not fiiil to treat the vefidor. 
 
 00- 
 I 
 
 / 
 
 and 
 
 '■M 
 

 I- 
 
 V 
 
 -(b 
 
■•K, 
 
 '& 
 
 a2({ 
 
 lillCY Ho St OPT 
 
 t 
 
 Tim.' rnnlinn.MHo lu^fiiv^sim.l sn di.l Hon. lMr.='. 1I..i.11..--h1 
 ' una pull.-mnn. aW tnMinl.v Lv phl'li<' li!.n.n..n.'P, to cnlinJkl.n 
 ^.nnKin.I. Ml lu.M.lN liv.^ ..nl« li In-ntl, HM.I !»<•. «h li.-r "//•""' 
 * )N.F,) r>i.l<n/:' in'tl.o rM|nri(T ..r lirlu-t jiodill.T Mn.|..looiluvf..>r. 
 |!.il in nn.tiiniony. :.s in .-v.-vy «liin}r olso, tl.o |.li}si.nl wi.3 
 .l,stinr.l*f!. su.'runil» iM tl.r 8|milnal. Ilunii.n mndnnnls 
 >..nl.l noillu'V iV.rostMll, n'-r suf.plant, nor inijuMli- tl.o nui- 
 Y.rsnl ;u..l I.i;zl«or Imw of .l.'vrl.,,nu>ni. In tlio pv.t ,.iiwnnl. 
 „p.-inH.m or (his l;>\v, tfio ni!Hvif<>sl!iti..n was rvolv.Ml tliiit no 
 woman lias any ri^il.t (o liyo with lior l.nsl.atxl, nnlons sbo I-.v.-r 
 l.ini 8i»iri«nally as well as |.l.ysi.'a1Iy : that no man is nnMcr <.h- 
 lifTMlion to livo with his wilo. nnh's?^ ho bvos hor ppiritnally as 
 VivW ns vl'v^i«"-»lly, an. I thai wlionovrr th.<y inaxi-hanco to nnt't 
 j,noth(>r. whom thry ran loyo lu-tt.-r. it, is rvi.lfncr mn. h.sivo 
 that thoy niv not s|)irifnally nnitnl, nn«l Jit'nrc they luo mt^ally 
 h..,in.l to f,M«i.lu'oa.li n(h.r./«nl rh'aTo totho nowly-tlisitncwl 
 j,l.ip..l nf Ih.'ii- air.vtinn. SoT^h ahMmhuimont — m» mattor how 
 ,.r«.>i)--it isj'.|nally Ih.ir .loly to |Ma.'tico, as lonfrjis thoy ir- 
 niaih in tho toini, that is t.. pmv, till th^jy <lio, iinil aro^|*,oi-n 
 int.) (ho Sphoros, So sint^', oasiy, Junl .lolifihifnl a molhodor 
 ri<'htin«'- tho wnnmo-l, of l-anishin^ ino.pialitios, ami poonrinj; 
 Cduilibrium an.l hann..nv t.» tho s.uial pyst.om, \y:xH haih-.l with 
 joy by mnllitn.l.\s of pvoiy claPS .and ,c<uitlition, hni .by mme^' 
 ;jnoro than tho-^o of n|t|)or t^Ml il.>m. ' \^ 
 
 As umlor (ho iihysioal or/ianism oV (ho" pirong min.lo.l 
 IManiafro liaw. Mr. llav.lh. a.l ha.l boon (irst, of (Ijo viotims m 
 to tho altar, so was ho amonjr iho first to loa.l off tho pnroly 
 spiritual lignro, loaviiifr tho Hon. liUoimln to look elsewhere 
 lor her spiritual servant. v K • , ' 
 
,* 
 
 r o 1. 1, 1 K R o F r if K XIX I n A 1 k n t iin T . ^27 
 
 lliiv.i.lly <li<l t1i(^ rw^friPsHinnifaa nndliply, n\^, infinilo were 
 ^l,o 8pcnili»H..ii«. nn fill l»ands, in rorort-n.-eno (hia now mid 
 liiV;lil,v <J.'volniuMl i-btso of ppuicity. 
 
 11, is «ni»^ ns hilr, tliut «'a pingle fiu't is W(»rth n ilmufwnd 
 tlu-Hvi.'s," l.vil whcro tlu-ory nnd riulHcnm-svond, thoy t^^etho^ 
 ,„o w.nfh vHPtly i"n.<^ '»''»k« «" cxnmi'l''' i-wlor, and contoMi- 
 p1„(,. it. .'Mhnly, Mr. P— - wns a p.ntl.'niMn oC lospoetftbilily 
 ,.n,.l «.>mIi1., mvninu n..d on-npyin^ ft hwuitirtil villa on- the 
 Mhnn. ..f «1.<' Mud-ui, vvl.oro nntMiv, in prnfu,««i..n, liafl niintrled 
 YrMuty uill.Pui.lin.ily. A'* '""» «(M«m).t vicvlVitl. nature, and 
 J.. Ml nil iliriv PvulMlli'^lun.'nts ta <'ou.pl('tc (lu^P.'onc of encliant- 
 MHi.t tlu.t M.MnKMl atoMua hill.. raMn.TPwkh him in the ea- 
 inymrnf of Ins piMiuliMo. W(Mh> \\u^ \y\U^ <'f l''^ y'»«*l'» » ^^t 
 T,..M-. rjM.PVMUP^ full of iu-.>nnp.','n...l a diuifrl.kvr, just cnttmng 
 fl,oMon,u of wnmnnl.MP,!, hoiiutiful, virtuoup, and loving. 
 •I'Ipy xv( rrv, Hll.>jr,.(lK'r, a n.upt lovrly and l.n|)py family, al- 
 vl,nnoh nnf,np y.t, Ppiri^UMlly dovolnpo.l. JJut ^<piritualism, 
 ,11 piTvii.lin- an-l I'Vo-zropVivo, «t l.'np;tli found its way into this 
 ,lM,nr.ii.. I'ldon, M.i. lM>mo.)f v'aeo, trnnquillity, an'd innooenco. 
 >\l:„nf. r^tnlions rnsn.Ml, niypt^rioup and onnyincing. The whole 
 
 1,n..ily,o%.'opl !MvP. V , b.'rawc prnsolytoM to the new faith, 
 
 •n.d <V nK.^nillront maupioi. wap ponn oonvorted int(. a render,- 
 vo„. inr «lu> l'.of.rroppionis(p, who ptyl^d thetnpekoa «' J.itorals," 
 f.r Avliat vo!tP«tn it ip not exactly denr. 
 
 . iM,. !>.._-- propropSed with groat rapidity to the attainnvent 
 .,r ,, biuh degree of Ppirieity. Ap a ent.petiuence, his oomp.n- 
 von xvnP not-.>ongeniaU The ppiritp pointed o«t to him his 
 ,;,,int,MMl partner, and by unmiptakeablo communications, en- 
 
Il^ % 
 
 Lucy 
 
 Boston 
 
 joined upon him t\) take ber, and progress, having first appro- • 
 priated his estate to the " common fund," 
 
 So thoroughly spiritualized had ho become, as to render it - 
 morally impossible for him, allowing he had the disposition, to 
 resist or disregard th(S mandates of the Spirits. 
 
 "I have bad a new revelation," said Mr. P — — , one cvten-' 
 ing, to bis "physical " companion, as they were takingTBcir ac- 
 customed walk in the garden. • ^^ 
 
 « Another revelation ! ^nd what is it, pray ? " l^pmded 
 she, in a pleasant tone. . ^ ^ 
 
 « Why, mudam, that we are not properly afhniiized, and 
 ^therefore we havfe never been, neither can we be, united in true 
 
 marriage." " • 
 
 «)0, my husband I" exclaimed she, throwing her arms about 
 bis neck and borstin^nto a flood of tears. 
 
 "You are mistaken, t am not your husband, I belong to 
 another," persisted he unmoved, and coolly endeavoring to dis- 
 engage himself from her embrace. - 
 
 "Not my husband? — Not m^ /tits&antZ.? — Were not bur 
 Bouls united from the days of our youth? Did we not stand 
 toget^r at the holy altar and flight our vows as the man ;of 
 God pronounced us husband a^ wifb? And havb we not Mvod 
 together in fidelity and happinf6ss? Are not our dbar ehildren 
 the sweet pledges of our love ?• You are rtij^usband, my own 
 beloved : and I am your wife by the laws of God and marn, and 
 nation's strongest, holiest ties." - v., 
 
 "Do not persist, madam,— tlie revelation is clear — the 
 spirits are impe*ative and 1" m\Mt n<yt disobey ---good bye — / 
 
 ?*!^ 
 
 >'■' 
 
 ;'.^. 
 
 
 m 
 
# 
 
 ppro- • 
 
 5t our 
 stana ^; 
 
 Follies of the XIXtii CentuUv. 329 
 
 (") 
 
 and dcrlibcratoly ttiserigngiiig himself from her grasp, he left 
 her, fallen to the ground in a state of insensibility. Steadi'ust 
 and in^jnovablf in th% faith, without once looking back, he 
 jirogrcsscd, and takinj' ^i| neighbor's wife as his spiritual com- 
 panion, emigrated to the city of Mormon, the highest circle of 
 the Rudimcutal Sphere, .ml where polygamy was iii full blast. 
 
 M 
 
 rs. P 
 
 * 
 
 * 
 
 *« 
 
 -:^-- 
 
 t^ 
 
 - , still lying id a state oF^hcTplessncss, more like 
 death than a swoon, was fortui^fely discovered by 1m)\- ^lildrca 
 as they were returning from a ramble i" the park. In the ut- 
 most alarm and tender concern they succeeded in removing her 
 to the house, where, by proper rcsforativcs, she was at length 
 able to aps\yer the anxious inquiries of her children as to the 
 occasion of her sudden illnei^. ■', W * 
 
 " Your poor father is derangod — what will becojne oT^him 
 — hasten, my«on, fiifd him, bring him hUine again that wo 
 may caro for^nd, if possible, rcstore^^him to reason." 
 
 i. - " Do not gtvc yourself unnecessary treble about father. 
 -Hi? gvKirdiaa spirit will guide and' protect him a groat deal 
 better than I can," replied he with singular unconcern, his alarm 
 "having all at once ceased upon leartiitig the.caijse of his mother's 
 indisposition. . -j A* --.. . ' V 
 
 _ <' my son r ihy son ! what' dreadful iKftituation! How can 
 i be? WJiero will it end?, *N exclaimed she, ineapabic of com- 
 prehending such highly-developed spiricity')' ^* Dear daughter," 
 coqtipued ,ttie;discqpa(4^^le your brother: lie 
 
 knows not what he says." Go yourself, mf 6hiIa©\\,Seefe your 
 poor father triil eiifeici&.^M hofne"ero,60|jie.fatal accident befalls. 
 mm. . • / ■• '^' ; 
 
 „ . . .j; I : . ^» fC ■ ■ „. -V ,,, ^ ^v , ^---V"- < i-- : x. -„, • " V^ ■ — 
 
 ~0 
 
 ;'.^- 
 
 " i; • '"■ r .. . 
 
 
 
 S*. 
 
 
 ,..J.^jV 
 
 • ■^'*:<t:^.ji%)sy^'f< ' 
 
880 
 
 Lucy B'Oston. 
 
 *<0, there 13 no danger, mother. , 
 
 « As you love him, as you lovo ui all -our peace, our hap- ' - 
 piness,'our lives,Minger ndt-seclc aod^^bvinryour. futbcr. . 
 Your brother will stay by me till you rctm>n."_ ' . 
 
 " ]Moth<ilii you give yourself altogether unnecessary trouble j 
 father is not erazy. He is obeying the spirits. They wil^ake • 
 caro of him infimtcly bettor than v,o can/' replied sle with • 
 strange indifference and want of feeling. ' 
 
 " O my children ! you arc all run n.ad.~ This terrible dclu- 
 siofbas bereft you of reason, Our happy home is changed to 
 Din insane hospital. Oh, howdiangedl Your father !"— ^ ^. 
 
 <' You are the only crazy onei"rctorted.thcdaughW. <'Wo 
 arc rational. You are blind. ' Wo see with Vl»t eyes-'; ^. 
 
 '' 0, my daughter, why torture me thus. Kvcry wor^ you. 
 utter is a dagger in my heart.' ~ 
 
 « The trouble is, mother, you dre unprugrc^sed, and of eourso 
 ' uncongenial. That is why we appear so strange to jou. Kor ' 
 is it all appearance.' We are indeed estranged, be<iausc there , 
 ' ig a want of harmony between us." 
 
 ■« But are you not my own dear children, in ^jfliom ifi-y very 
 
 eoul is bound up ? " • , ' ' - " '-. • 
 
 ' • « Brother and I are yo«r children, it" is true, but I am sprry 
 to say we ar^ not spiritual children." - ; . 
 
 " FurW,' my child,. forbear. - I bannot comprehend you." 
 „ " I mean you and father were never divinely married- tou ■ 
 could not lDe,-for you are not cvugcnial He is spiritual, you 
 are rudiment:^, and that is why he has Uh you. I heard the 
 spirits telf him all about it, and they pointed out to him his 
 spiritual companion, with whom, by their direction, he has 
 
 < I 
 
 I 
 
 •"r- 
 
 t 
 
 A 
 
iir liap- 
 futbcr. 
 
 V 
 
 rouble ; 
 '\\\ take 
 tie with ' 
 
 lie delu* 
 mgcd to 
 I >' 
 
 5." 
 
 roi4, you. 
 
 of eojirso 
 )u. . Kor 
 use tkero . 
 
 lli-y very 
 
 am siorry 
 
 id you." 
 6d. You 
 itual, you 
 heard the 
 him hi3° 
 n, he has 
 
 I' 
 
 Follies qf tu:^, X'IXth t/BiftuRir. 881 
 
 gone 'to live in harmony^ And what ip more, iny spiritual 
 hasband ^M- be hero this ev^ittg to take mc homo with 
 
 hnft." . *, ' • , ^ /; . ^ 
 
 ''<*Oino^ you* will wot — cannot — " ' ^ 
 
 « Yes, tKc spirits direet mo to go,, and I musjt not disobey 
 
 • 
 
 .the 
 
 in. 
 
 i> 
 
 A r ' '^le rtjothcr, ovcrcow© by the power of these sudden, un- j 
 
 ^ ^ . looked for- ma^ifestatipns, rfeUipscA into insensibility. And 
 
 when, at last, she awoke {igain to consciousness, it was oniy to 
 
 • " witness new and;uiore l>vcrwb6lu»ing develwimeiits. .She gazed, 
 around in search of her beloved dunght^r, but saw her not. 
 She called her name imploringly, but there was no answer.^ 
 
 " Where is your sister ? " iaquired she of her spn as he en- 
 tered the room. "^ 
 ; , ■ « I cannot te|^" was t^iiareless answer. 
 <« But do you notiiaow ? " .;' , . ' 
 « If I did I would tell j^ou." ^ 
 „' . "Is she not at home ? " ' 
 
 " I^presuiue she^j|." 
 <' Where?" . . •- . ' ' 
 " With her spiritual husband." 
 r^ "She. is not gone?" .. 
 « Yes." ' ■ .- "■ 
 
 " To return no more ? " 
 ' "Not to remain." 
 
 ".3Ieroiful God! — have pity !' forgive my child! — wne' 
 — all gone? — No — hot all, thank Heaven. My own dear 
 ^bfjy is v\rith me — a solace and support." • ' 
 
 ► ,' He made no reply. » « 
 
 
 r 
 
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 * 
 
 1m 
 
 7^ 
 
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 ^S 
 
 r I- • ■.. '-■ ' 
 
 
 ■*^^ti 
 
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 ;>? 
 
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 "™" -V;'- ■.■?■■■ '■■ ■■■ 
 
 "rM,-'m 
 
 " " " % the ^i^i}»l| Wl!'^^^"'*^ 
 
 
 
 
 "<«f ',:ir- ■ V- ■■% ';■;• ,,0? 
 
 r t*v 
 
 
 
 
 
 . -' 1: 'v^Jl-hc-^birits command me, aiid ttiey ^know^^vhiU 4^|&)r tho . 
 
 %hM of our cmc^ teppy bo^^^iin^er a*wrotcbca existence oi 
 
 " sink uinnourneia into^iier loi^.^rave." ^ „ ' '* * 
 : ■ ^ ^Qnly. believe ii/ SpirifcuaK^/' said* Vie, app 
 V ' atewted) ««ftd all vj||^b6%cll endugh, J Yoi 
 ilu&l buslmid: to'l^P|re of you. As to ot 
 ;pr6p6rty, father has conveyed it .all for the] 
 ■ .y gpiri torn."' " :'-,.* 
 
 " " ' ^< What ! sold our home ? " 
 " ' « No, gave, it away." 
 I "liow.^o you„know that?" 
 
 " He toiti me so, and I saw tlie deed." «^ 
 "0 God! my Jast prop 'taken away. ^S^*?""^^^' 
 • • goue I Husband - childre n -> home - h atnalW^ reason - 
 
 ha 
 ha 
 
 lur 
 
 di^ 
 
 OUi 
 
 of 
 
 sal 
 dei 
 
 tio 
 'Vth< 
 
 to. 
 
 -ist 
 ai< 
 
 
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 dl 
 
 ti( 
 \\ 
 fa 
 at 
 at 
 
"=:s< 
 
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 ""'^li* 
 
 -M 
 
 
 10° bore 
 
 ance of 
 
 • tii. V 
 
 ;n:'' 
 
 ^AH 
 
 all — aU. 
 reason — 
 
 :^" 
 
 FoLLiEtii' OF THE XlXrii Century. 833 
 
 ha I bal hrf! My spirituul husband ! Where is he ? Spirits, 
 Ijring him I Ila! ha ! bere be comes, — Gone — uU gouo — 
 
 ha! iial ha!— ' I , 
 
 jji-g. ^y.^ — vvas conveyed to the In^ne Asylum, a hopeless 
 lunatic. Any one passing the door of her cell might hear her 
 disconsolate moan, — " Gone — gone — all gone " — fullowed 
 by the maniac laugh, as she greeted her spiritual husband. 
 
 Let not feeling be excited nor prejudice be aroused in any 
 oue^ .against the " institution " of Spiritualism, by the perui«ul 
 of this narrative^ It is only one case among thousands ueces- 
 sarily occurring, in the progressive cconouiy of the supreme, 
 deifio law of Pcvelopment. 
 
 What if the Bl^lctes denounce polygamy .as an abomina- 
 tion ? Spiritualism is higher authority than the Bible. What 
 -though the Saviour has declared that "what God bath joined 
 ti.gethcrj let not man put asunder? " Are not the spiritual-. 
 AaIic Ruhhic^jgctxjj^ thni|^|(s,.Christ? What if human laws 
 are treated iSPrffmS^^ is, a "law unto itself." 
 
 \ftiat i^'society bo disV.^-glriizcii? \ It is ^o construct a better 
 syst^m!^ Whatif ^ulh and beiiuty i^l liasfcnM\ci^maur&*' 
 ^ecuy, and innoecflce aAd virtue pcrisl)-?^ .IsMt^.not the ibtro; 
 duvHou to higher scenes of ei)j.>j;m^|>tj,a nigd^eialted state of ■ 
 spiricity.? AVthat -though Gj/d and rclmion, niora%, civjU^a-: 
 tioii and civil ^(|itrumeiit bu/<T"'l»'»tt'|»s exnloiled^^^ . 
 
 htcst hopes be Vi*6cfey,,ii«{»^cru^ 
 mes nsatle dcriolute'? ,What thouiih envy 
 .and^uspicioil,, ^ift^ti^^and jealosy, cupidity^ Iust,iurmt^raUty 
 and.^ne, j^f in tiie.train of^theT^n^ l^ilosop%,\'lpfJo.; 
 p ling al "' e-bnWsfts, insane asylums, penitentiaryeB, and the grflyey 
 
 SK.V 
 
 - What thou 
 fiilnilie.s ruined 
 
 
 If*-.. 
 
 All' 
 
 y. 
 
( ' 
 
 'ft- ' 
 
 
 1\ 
 
 m 
 
 
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 VUh .T^tehea Tictim, ? Wh.t .re "H ih** '""g' '»* •"'""f 
 »«1. .tto«I»t.upon •» gr^otov g»o*, «.ero «.n. Y""'" ««- 
 W«.rll, in«M»raWo «ith. th»■.et^nal^to of Bevdopmmt m 
 
 I., npwrf pr»Br«« «na «P»*n f*. »*«» * ''J''?' ;" '^° ' 
 .piriU «l.o r»<l,,»eDtal to- the sip.rn.l? >lu.t »9t '^."W « ■ 
 
 h*»vM/pas»»W W»« f>"> O'" e™-'»°';~^i "*!> ™» ""-'"'^ , ; 
 
 W JetuoMiea: without a Wishtyorasll? , . ' 
 
 „ TBc. ba,ni.l.cd.b« all unbclief,^nd l.tnhM cvMy «ce of «<«- 
 \ pViot. . But if ^..pticiAiB «« rav«, if Rrosa lm«.a» nature do«. ^ 
 •• ^ iry out „gaiu,t.tM<le;-eiopu>ent8oi'Spiritu,lisw,«l.it » itut 
 
 tlio fiielion of n,.,torial.am grmJins its w.y iuto spiriouyf W 
 
 „«i,y,s(iAlng uff"a.e form in. Us bitth-sthgglP ."to iho. _ , 
 
 Spheres? .. ; • . 
 
 41 
 
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 CHAPTER XXVI* 
 
 It I 
 
 1? 
 
 it 
 
 I 
 
 
 U' 
 
 i' 
 
 . '^ ♦*! haTo no spur 
 
 Tq prick tho Mdcs of my Intent, but only , 
 Vaurting ambition, which o'crleapii ltFPl(J«^ 
 And falls on the other olde." ' 
 
 4 
 
 T 
 
 'N the ever onward flow and complicutcd cvolution.s KA^I*ro>- 
 gres^, another New Light, which had twinkled an tinde- 
 velopcd nucieua on the shadowy outsliirts of tho, Zones, now 
 driven by the impulse of its own spontaneous energy, and 
 drawn onward by the AH-Contral-Koroo, in the circle of its as- 
 cension^ with ihe suddenness of light springing from the bosom' 
 ,; of darkness, whccl(i4 its broad disc upon our moral horizon in 
 ^^ ' the person of Judge Addle]|Sad, prince and chief of the Celcs- 
 tial Rabbies, the GamaliePl>f Spiritdom, and the Arch Prophet 
 . of the Latter Day, , 
 
 As Doct.-Z. Socrates Nozzlcman, holding grifii Death at 
 
 . i^m's lengtlffiBBr the all-hcalcr of the bodies, so was Judge 
 
 .w jft^ndTehead tho^^avlour of the souls of men. These twi;i cekb- 
 
 ji ritics, strictly ppeaking, were not so much distinct anil JjcpMfate 
 
 , \ identities, asAjl^'Citint manifestations or phases of an idonlieal" 
 
 principle } a Stt of Vishnu Or compof ijjeiubodiment ot the 
 
 self-same law of dovelopnieot. ' ^* 
 
 The J^idge, by the appuintment of tb&^K^iK<)^|t fart]i,the 
 •diWie expnnont of theology and cthies^|)iy5|H^ "a« 
 phy,<ics. 
 
 #*% 
 
 Ah, how the d 
 - (&85) 
 
 (ienso fugs of ignorance 
 
 tiou, eu- 
 
 
 i 
 ^1 
 
 '^ 
 
 ■^• 
 
 \ ^ 
 
 \^' 
 
 % 
 
7#. 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 
 >■ 
 
 
 ■/ 
 
 886 
 
 vclop'iM** poor ™ria,9.cl before tic lip;ht of l>i, gcniu., ..nd 
 
 how li** u,i,l,.y balloon it bounded uloft into tbo clondlcs. 
 
 ,„„,lai.ro of tUo Spl.erOH »» with bi, spiritual broad-»xo he «v- 
 
 crod^ftt .blow lf» cords that hitherto had lashed it down, am.d 
 
 lhodatkneaBn4 chaos of scepticism !>■ _ 
 
 I,„loed, the Jjidgc ,vas the prime moral .nd motaphjs.t^ 
 
 ■ phc,#r-cnon of IKq nineteenth century. In his eapacions era- 
 
 ;,i„<Ton.crca dl it»oir.g="00, poured in there by sp.rrt mflu- 
 
 once, and whence it ..nanuVd ii'^welling octavos, to enl.gbten, 
 
 .purify, elevate and rcdciyu «ulJ|bonighted,^miscry-str,cken 
 
 world -to develop Mjrun%lopca«cc. , ■ _/ - 
 
 ■ .Ilowpoor.dcgruaelligoiCp'-sS'JJ"'''"*'"""'^'^'''''^/^ 
 ■ % his h-^hly-progrcs«d incarnation, as the mighty B«,clat,r^nd _ 
 
 '# 
 
 A1.4"J Saviour, lct4^Howing e|p|tlis .U«s(||^ ■ 
 
 
 ^• 
 
 
 
 
 
 V 4tb month — 7u . 
 
 ▼* ,. ... ,■ ■ V / . ■ 
 
 ''♦JJEAR Judge > . / •, __ 
 
 I sincerely beg yo„r.,pardo„. for this in.ru.,»p npon the no 
 ticc of s^grcat a personage as yourself. Spi|«51...n. kads me 
 to addrcs^,yo„. My desire .0 ^ri.. you has/increa.od .0 such 
 „ ,,,,h that i can no longer resist it. ATo ^e indo^d, person- 
 allv Mr^^ers to each other, but 1 am finniliar with your c- 
 au'eJ position and groat and fast-grovring ni.„ta„„n. . So you 
 will allow mo the privilege of inditing you a l.ttcr . . ^ 
 Wl,«> .oy- hu^and died last mouth, 1 was a most aban- 
 a„ncd sceptic. I would not so much » turn iuy hc«d over 
 
 '»• 
 
 'jM.: 
 
 ■W"- 
 
 ^f 
 
 y' 
 
 
 t( 
 
 ^- I ^^ 
 
^imi 
 
 
 FoLi.iKs or TUB XIXth Okntury 
 
 887 
 
 the no 
 jads me ' 
 to such 
 person- 
 :dur ex- 
 . So j-ott 
 
 st aban- 
 ca4 ov e y 
 
 or any other humbug. So I Hi, and so I felt then. But 
 
 )oVd 
 
 my shoulder to witness all the Jfenanifcstationg " ever got up, 
 
 I ffd, 
 ^en I looUd my dead husband in the face — wonderful to 
 relate — I could i^arccly help leaping for joy, so ecstatic tva« 
 the thrill of dclig^kt which filled my every gcnac, and I feel it 
 
 ';|MBore and mort </vory day. 
 
 jJllNow is nil th^ a manifestation ! I think it must be. At 
 i^^ate, it convinces me of the truth of Spiritualism, and I feel 
 oolMmined to congratulate you as the distinguished author and 
 defender 4^hiB gr6at and glodous doctrine. 
 
 t Yours In spiritual affection. 
 
 DOBA. 
 
 P. S. }Vhen ia your next hook coming out f 
 
 Rudimental Sphere^ 2nd Circle, 
 
 8 rd month — 76, 
 
 <«i- 
 
 ■ %- . ,/ 
 
 My DEAR Judge : ., 
 
 We are strangers. But I can't keep still. I wtwsf write you. 
 Therefore es^puse rile. 1 have devoured a book from the Spirw 
 World, edited by you and Doctor Nozzleman, which has yielded 
 mo more knowledge, satisfaction, and solid comfort, than I had, 
 ever drawn from the whole universe. I take this method to 
 hull and herald you and the Doctor, as the two greatest bene- 
 factors — yes more — the very Saviours of all mankind. 
 
 I know this bo^ has cost you a vast deal of hard work — hxti 
 )ill, n o dovhf, g et w^l jp ai d for xL !_ Z. 
 
 Jtt>tt 
 
 wu 
 
 ttjk 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 i 
 
■•B'--feT;j ^ri q p' 
 
 /^»-.; 
 
 V 
 
 i 
 
 
 * ' ■'' 
 
 I 
 
 Lucv BOSTOK. 
 
 1 have m,»ino»gl..c« a di.lloB»i.ko4 pl.J"oI«g.", k-1-8 
 „Lcr ia th. Wing art, aod a c.o« oKorver of -.co and 
 iZbut I U.« bec,.b.r,«l in th. thick d.rkn«a of unbo- 
 lief, as to a future state of existence, till 1 »eaa yo 
 
 volume ia .hich i^crusal I experienced a glorious resurrec Uon 
 Tolume, in ^mc p . ^^ ^ ^^^ ^^^^ 
 
 ftnd I can now survey the bpint. i.nna «» j 
 OTer the map of the United Statei. • 
 
 Fraternally yours, 
 ^^"^ John Jones. . 
 
 Rudimental Si>\cre, ^th Circle, 
 6th month — 76. 
 
 My VERY DEAR Judo* • ,. , , . 
 
 I rave never seen ,»., ..d perb.p, neve, sball, at Ica.t m 
 the form. But I have met and read , our great -ork on Sp>r- 
 ttoalism. AU the books ever eou.poscd, sacred and pro unc 
 „„not c<»ni«r. V.th it. It has made .no an out-and-out 
 Spiritualist. I hesitate not, no, not for a n.on.ont, to stake my 
 Jn.poral and eternal all, upon its transcendent doctnnes _ _ 
 
 I, as reared from ehildhood in the Vresbj-tormn faith, but 
 when of age, acting on my ».a..W, I became successively a 
 p.,e,ite, Methodist, Baptist, MiUerite, and Mormon, and foud 
 Pharisees, hypocrites, and false professors, among them all 
 Consecneltly. I eut loose from all religion, and set myself 
 Idrifl on t Jtido of InSdelity. But your magmfeent treat,se 
 :; Spiritualism was put in#my ban^ It i» '^^;^^^ 
 ,,^lL amid the shoreless ocean of Pvog. ... Its doctr.ncs 
 
 
' f^^' 
 
 ■■»►.. 
 
 FoLtiis or THE XIX Til Okntuiiy. 380 
 
 aro tho cablo and sbcot-anchor of iny bopc. -Farowcll to iiiy 
 former supcrHtition and scotaiian bigotry Wclcomo tbo" beau- 
 tiful and tbe true" Hull yo spirits ! bcur mo on tbo Spheres t 
 Poar Judge, your book must have a run. 
 
 Spiritually yours, 
 
 John Smith. 
 
 Rudimcntal Sjihcrc, 5th Circle. 
 10th month — 70. 
 
 Most ITonohed Judge : ' 
 
 Pardon tbe boldness of a ptrangcr. I bavo just risen from 
 the perusal of your immortal volume on Spiritualism. It is tbe 
 storehouse of all knowledge and wisdom — emphatically the 
 Book of Books. ; ■ '' Jl , ; 
 
 I Imve been a most iiMwiniga^ oF nature from my 
 
 infancy up. Still I was uiraWc, ty& fix myself in any belief. 
 The Bible I long ago discarded as an outrageous libel on hu- 
 man nature, anxi hence opposed to reason and common sense. 
 But you arid the Doctor have settled me. Success to you. 
 Your bookls destined to eclipse all otheKs, and repay yo.ur (/is- 
 interestcd labors with a rich reward. 
 
 Yours in spiritual bonds, 
 
 John Brown.- 
 
 p-.< 
 
« 
 
 & 
 
 ■3C/'« 
 
 4 
 
 <» 
 
 ^P 
 
V 
 
 840 
 
 Lucy JJo^toK.' 
 
 „l'r 
 
 • . I. ' 
 
 ' \ ' Ruaimcntnl Si>7ierc, Qth ^yrcU, , , , 
 
 Ju||0|5 Addlehead : ', - ...''' 
 
 . Vecy dear- Sir, '' ' ' , ^' ' 
 
 t am-natttnjly a striclly teUglou, «omao. T-bo past «a. aa 
 
 it in the Bible, bat found that old book a mass of eoMradio-^ .- 
 tiotts, abtodities, and noBsenao, Mot yp.r divine jorV^n 
 Sraritualism, and found.relief. Am lifted from tbo^ougU of - 
 infidelity. Feel my sonl unbnrdened. Think better of my; 
 self. \G!'orim(s change ! ■ '. "• ; i , 
 
 "~^oat Jndge, howean I p.y the debt of love t owe you? ' 1 
 ',sarneatly hope yonr book wiU.meet with tfiuraphant suceeaa. • 
 . ' ., . ' Yours in spirituayiffinity, . - r, 
 
 • ' - ' * . ', AMAKItt*. 
 
 
 ^i 
 
 k) 
 
 •■■ 
 
 Rudiinental Spkcve, 'oth Citde. , 
 
 VI 
 
 . 1* 
 
 # ■ , Dearest JvDGE : , ,'•''•. 
 
 . CongnMte mo I I was alw^tys an- anxio.«, restless .nqu.rer 
 " after truth - truth^ that makes tl^^ nm.(J, soul, ancn^J, f.oo 
 ^ from restraint. I sought for this ''pearl of -grc^U^'Vm •« ^ 
 • ^- ■ every Chvistiun creod and .11 the Um. of the rastJ|i.rC^ent, , ■^• 
 
 , * but U was only ehasi:l^/an evcrh^>ting jack o'lat^WtUl ymi , ^^ 
 
 •^ ' unfolded to ^le, in your bodk from the Sphered, ^ great, . ^; . 
 
 . .-^ -. . the new, the all-harmonious doet^nes of SpiritU'^hsm. .-My. .- ,^ 
 
 * soul leaps for iov in it* unrestrained freedom. / . . ' • • . ': ■ 
 
 i-i> 
 
\ 11 
 
 l\ 
 
 *» 
 
 t .« 
 
 l». 
 
 as en 
 
 io;li of 
 f wy; 
 
 u? I 
 
 cess. 
 
 LIxA. 
 
 * * 
 
 N 
 
 , Follies of the X I X t ii G e n t u wirf 841 
 
 1 am p<)\* on Uio track of j)>oi5frc.s\s/ How fast I am (jcvcl- 
 opwl ! Oh ' how my soul warm^, ancf cxpijiuls, and mounts, 
 aiid soars-,, and basics, and banquets, amid the the celestial nec- 
 taf as ii drops in mioro than honeyed sweetness from t<ic spirit 
 lips of Abner KncQlinvd/.Too S|ft>th, and Tom Paine! 
 ■ . Doarof t Jud^e, 1 wibh you success in your enterprise. 
 
 . ■ Proficressivcly 5'ours, 
 
 '..••• • , GoNSTANTINiV. 
 
 M 
 
 H 
 
 ft 
 
 vi 
 
 Uii(Ui}i,pital 'Sjiftci-c, 7th Cii'de. 
 
 
 8th month — 7C. 
 
 f 
 
 DOllFD. JUIJOEJ . \ . « * 
 
 „ "I wgs born and vai«ccl ,u^idcr ttiQ Z//w^ A/uvs«bf Presbytcrian- 
 
 Ism, after tliq strtiijrbto-f'sott. TMoic- fntering my tecup, I 
 
 ea^t off parental de-p(iti><m ftud kn'iivd with loathing, andjiin* 
 
 litterable hntfed. fiom thi> fa];Hil?iUH reliu4un, the puerile dr.g- 
 
 mas and bj(L-ld,<h riijthology of the Kible. 
 
 liclivct'ed from the bolitliv't-' of I'j'^vs bigotrv, ^uporstitibrj,' 
 
 ' alid fyrrfrnVj', I boldly ainfuHt^L the black tb^f of jniiddity and 
 
 atheisim. , . ." « J -"i t^i 
 
 I aiii.now in tljo full bl<)u|.n «f \3n)m:i.iiir'V' d; :iiid a scttL^d be- 
 
 ^^x'Vin < ■ liever iiv'thle sqiouc-c nf Modri'tv 5{>rita.tlirin. * My huhbi^id is 
 
 |)Icsifent, -^^ 'Al, p^\^' Hinlri:\^{^^pr,1 i\\u\ tli.Mduldr.'U ate' treadiujr in his foot- 
 
 4ill yfiu ' 1 ^"^nr-^ I '^^» sutipfktj. there l^ a f;>ta'l want of alRiiity between 
 
 ■ ' >^c and tlicm» " I fet;! m>>elf aih%-tt'd't%ards //o« by the most 
 
 f^d*'lijrbffu1.ftBd it-fevistil>lJ} eohevpui-p. , , 
 
 / Pcarest Jud^c, the manifL^tati<tn i^ clear The Spirits afro 
 
 ' I 
 
 nquirer 
 
 ^ly, fiee 
 
 " Ai- - / « • 
 
 2iit, 
 till yriu 
 
 m. J-My.rf. ,. 
 
 
 €) 
 
 
 ^iS' 
 
 ^v 
 
 A. 
 
 ''%::■ 
 
M 
 
 1 ■•„. 
 I * 
 
 842 ■ LucyBoston. 
 
 imperative. We are congenial, md therefm "conjoinea in . 
 
 eternal truth." . Let us progress immediately^ 
 
 Youfs in sweetest harmony, \ ^ ^ 
 
 ■.^^ 
 
 RudiTrtmtdl SpJiere, M Circle. 
 5th month — 76. 
 
 HoNOREI|[t]rUDGE : 
 
 Blessed with <i- sound mind and a good education, I have 
 from my youth led th(flife of a philosopher, untrammelcd by 
 Christian dogmatisifei*— giving myself up to the study of the 
 constitution and laws of nature. By the process of philo^ . 
 sophical, chemical, and logical analysis, l" discovered natur<^ to 
 be Purroundod, permeated, generated, and in all its phenomena 
 idtnticalwiblj -the inliercnt, self-existent, all-{^eative, and con- 
 trollin"- laW.of p/o^v-t.s.s<Ve dcidojmicnt, which, by its own in- 
 flate, independeYit energizing, from the latent nuclfeus'of cha- 
 otic noneuity, gradually^expanded into symmetrical system in-*' 
 orL'anic and nrjianic, iiiatcrial and spiritual of uiiiversal nature - 
 I considered my flaiuc as immortalized by ih% profound discov-_- 
 ery, and was about perfecting a spirito-mechanical machinp, at 
 a vast expense of time. and money; to prove and elucid^t€^. be- 
 yond the shadow o| a doubt,, the beauty and truthfulness of my 
 theory, and for which I was; on the point oHtf [.lying for a 
 patent, when, to my astonishment and e opsteTOatioa,^ fo und 
 myself anticipated. ' i -v _ ^ 
 
 lou auiiuuuc^d' \ouisui: as the legitimate discoverer of the 
 !__L_r_ 1 . L_, , 
 
 
 
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 .i^^J&rsp^fiX*r.:^#ii^^ *4 to tfe^»g^^ ^^ Dorado, 
 
 ;?:S' g|imC«(i»^fi& -tho'i^d^^^ wptk goes, bravely^- on. _ 
 
 ''" Yoiit iSt volui»e48 ftWXJQu# avraited W(SiiriU makij-^ mighty 
 
 .^^^iy^ ^ -„-:■:/' ■ . » . "-:'\*'> 'A .v': v- ' 
 
 ,V shade" — ^'^c. ., ..,•:...„ ...... ..' _^, . -•*"■■■ i^- '. •■■ ": . ■ ' ; 
 
 John Dob. 
 
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 :# 
 
 MOSTliatAVE and" NOBIiE JUDGE . ; - , n?" 
 
 Yom are a great man -— so acknowledged in the Spheres — 
 and Earth shall not long be ignorant of the fact. Jour name 
 
 ,m a household word np here. You and Doctor Nozzleman ai^ 
 Ij; <sw»moa conseut the two most highly progressive deyeltj?-:; 
 niSts short of the Zones, and as such, y^u%i^e been elected: \ 
 the fir^t Honorary Member of our Zoc^ogical Society. j , 
 
 w . N. B. Your letter in behalf ^ the Doctor, I put into the 
 tiSd of the Presid^niaP' Supernal College: ■ He ^sures me 
 
 r'it'the consi<lerat{on i^ just, and the J)octor.; shall be 
 
 ,:^0gressed by thq title you ask for him, at next comm^P" 
 
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 844 
 
 ;:y 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 Conjldentiall^. — As you "tickled" the Doctor, lie has, ac- 
 cording to agreement, " tickled" you in return. I saw Pro- 
 fessor Esculapius yesterday. He has received t^Boctt-r's fa- 
 vor ,.pontainiDg satis/actori/ inducements for your promotion; 
 Your great talents and attainments shall not long remain un- 
 appreciated down there, for the want of a degree. The Trus- 
 ^Me of Celestial University will meet on the first day of April, 
 
 
 proximo. I hold a string which I can pull ejjfectually at head- 
 quarters. Rest easy. You shall be dubbed at once D. D., 
 L. L. D., F. R. A. S. S., You will then be ensphered a nabob' 
 among the Literati, and I can secure you an in\ itjition to de- 
 liver the annual address before the Phi Beta Kappa Society, 
 or, if that cannot be compassed, I hold the rcf.poi.ii\e conitnit- 
 ie^g under my individual thumb, at^d can g( t )<.«jk^uaiiiiiiou&ly 
 4ected tosj^ak before the Alumni of the KiLereal Institute j 
 6r give Ifoe »Mtgss at the Seventh Sphere Agricultural Faxty 
 or »roBOuA6i the oration at the laying of the cwner-stonc of . 
 I4i#^ Monument, to be erected on the Acropcilis of the Ser- 
 inth Circle, tx) commemorato the advent of the Spidt of l3*c 
 He/sotaid M the holy crusade froii;^ thp Zones,,, which jssufid ja . /,/ J, y 
 4^e complete victory of Spiritualis^i ' an^, WoBfiSn^s Bights Jtt-. 
 iii^ " Eudiment«EJ Bpiiere." ^^ '/''*..''.., " S \' 
 
 ' ' > l(tm jriiy, dear ,^udge, lake your ehoico pf the appoiiitmont*,^ v, . . j 
 • *-«HMr^ which wiH furnish you a -ifl^st capital opppcAnityt^^ .:.»- . I ; 
 
 
 ^o^em. \ 
 
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 "S^ours^ in harmopy, ,"'• -,. 
 . , , ' ^' 'Simon >lAfius/ 
 
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 ^ii. 
 
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 ii 
 
 p. .8..-^9dge, ekert yottraeVf tp th^ ytmj>8t ^f your «6i!p,iriftati-\''' 
 
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 Follies OP TUE XIXth^ Century. 845 
 
 in"- abilitv for a friend. Leave not a stone unturned nor a fa- 
 ble untipped in my favor, lest the'*Gcrman Nediogists and 
 Amferican Transcehdentalists get the start in the " Rujdimcntal 
 Sphere," and outstrip me in the race of development.-^ You are 
 warking nobly. I have no fault to find. Write, lecture, pub- 
 lisH- J)octor Nozzleman will be your^worthy coadjutor. ' To- 
 gether plan — together eiefcute. lam your guardian spirit. 
 Tour reward shall be a goltilcn harvest. . 
 
 %' ' P S, M. 
 
 JS.^ 
 
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 iftUd*'' 
 
 
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 • ^ \ 
 
 )j^rogress Point, Qth Sphere^ llh Circle. 
 . ,\ 4th mo9^tli — 76. • . » ^ 
 
 Dear Addleiiead : \ • ' , . - . < 
 
 ■ lake you down below, we have incorporated vpherfetheproi 
 grcssive "institution" o^ lVpulaj;H^0tures, an^ I have seizjsA- • .. 
 ; ^ . the ;^r.srt opportunity to pii^l^yx.u on.tlie course-. We indeed havo,., ' . . 
 
 . no lack ot distmgjiishcd iSpir'jtai-^ our,8W,n- Splietje, sjiph as Bjit^dl», 
 '"'% ftw<i^nb'?*'g> »wton/i^akspe^i^,,VoltafrCy,and,hosts:crf othcrai ".. J-s' * ' . 
 '° '^wlio are ab^jtfdantly (Qualified 'fo .in«t.f4ct^l«}d JdcfigJit the^^ost" . -.. ' 
 
 BUbfjinttcd and bi^hly-drvfrlopod aydio^ce. JJut* here, as with y . 
 \ ' A'oii, '^no pi'ophet is withc^ut honor savb'ia his o-K^n. CjOUnTrv;"/ 
 ' '^W'Ufe-^ ^jij^iliol^iea) adage. Hvtitiaft n,atur« in tlvi- Zoftfts js ■"'' 
 ff' '^•J^' tho'^aroc as hvCman nature in itie '*■' :^u.dimenti4l Splrere*", Vi\ ' 
 ;^ saturwjaAS lia.y.e indeed^ pr6«regsed |o a f»- lyglfer .stji^e 6f ftj^r- • 
 '.■i''\ '■ ^ .'• *<^'Va <'^5i* y^^ niun4art>ftns!', ^(^ W ret£^^-W te^dlqiorigimV ^ * 
 ' i;«?/o?yV»W"^»i^he'o'f Whicl? ]s^^</ '■'ol'Sovel^. jSeoce,.nol- ^ - ■ 
 
 ; _ '" —, — ' .y. ■ f' " — 
 
 
 
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LuoY Boston. 
 
 
 V 
 
 {hstanding there are lions, Bcng;xi tigers, nnd giraffes, 
 long us, in any quantity, yet hiung no " Elephant", in o' - 
 
 "la|i..'ar' history, the spirits are all 'on tiptoe ^vith curiosi^ 
 
 ^T^'the Elephant^ What 
 
 Jfeiong us, in any quantity, yet hiving no " Elephant ;', in o|g. 
 
 i It, . ,:,:-._... *u^ .«:.;fu om all 'on tiptoe with curiosil^ tif 
 Elephant^ What are lions, Bengal ^gcrs, and 
 
 giraffes, roar, growJ, and stretch as much as they liiay, to those 
 ^ who meet them every day ? The multitude, even in Spiritdom, 
 
 niun and mV; see " ^Ae ^IrHmaV'^ though he comes from tho 
 
 copiparatively undeveloped region of the Zones. 
 
 As to the item of Expense for the trip, allow yourself no care. 
 
 I car easily get you checked as a J' dead head" on the Oelestial 
 
 Airiioe Express lluilroad. So get us up>nicthing f^picy, to 
 , tickle the palAte of novelty. I will hay/you announced in all 
 Vdailies.as 'Uhc Elephant," >ar cj^fncnor. We will. create a 
 
 gfand'Vubh, raise the tickets to jl<^blc price, and send you home 
 
 Ipaded with " rocks." 
 
 ■i^. / Yours harmonioublv 
 
 IscARiot. 
 
 > V r 
 
 p. k Ican't yA engage Bsirniftn for us ? A fine opening for 
 
 ' ■ ' ) ^ ' ^^ =' T 1 
 
 him up here. , ^ - , ^ • 
 
 ■1 
 i 
 
 Sj/mmes' Hohfjiudimehial Sjyherc, Ut Circle. ^. 
 
 12°th montl?. ^ 
 
 '' • ATlJDOt Addleiiead 
 , feir, , 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 hav6 noapMol g les to.malcft fpr wyi^injf yotl> t)oeg a p6or 
 
 
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 t 
 

 4 
 
 Follies of the XIXtii Century. 347 
 
 fellow, accidentally fallen overboard and ready to drown, whino, 
 out to the bystanders, ^ 
 
 " Gentlemen, you are strangers to me, therefore please ex- 
 cuse me for soliciting a little of your assistance in keeping my 
 head above water ? " No. He sings out " help V help '.;" Vith- -' 
 out preface or apology. ;^ 
 
 -Now that's just my ease, only a mastef-sight ymvk. It's 
 cussed hot down here in this great boiling hell-pot of a place. 
 There's not a sea that floats on the surface of this round world . 
 that I havn't sailed, not a storm over blcvy th^i J coul(in'& 
 weather- But I'm brought upon my beam ends atlast. I ean't 
 navigate this fiery gulph, this .subterranean Ilell-Gate, full of 
 rocks and whirlpools, and covered with the thick fog 6f smoking 
 brimstone. My father was an old voyager, feefere mo. I saifed . " 
 under him eighteen years, studied the " old^s^hoal" navigation 
 from beginning to end and was as go^d a sailor as ever manned 
 a helm or pulled at a rope. But dad was.an old fogy, a.,regu. 
 lar blue-skin. I was for progress, and set out on my own hook. • 
 I put upon .the stocks and launched a new bottom after my own 
 model. A finer-looking craft never floated. But she'^-gone 
 to pieces upon the reefs of perdition. There's not a plank, ,> 
 broken spar, nor shred of rigging even to cling to. I'm surg*^^ 
 rounded by pirates, landbharks, and huge sea-serpents, writhing^' . 
 . and hi-sing and spitting out black poison at me. Judge, I ato.' , 
 AiirTy swamped. Evtn mj spilor's pluck failed, tpfe, and I "was 
 ready to strike and go to the bottom, whett t cluuiced i«)spy 
 the sisual that you had descried my'fftgof drstres?. 
 
 J want to get on de^ again, b^t^sshivfer my timbers, if I cab 
 '. "•* ''< ^''i '' 
 
 \4o1tr: Now just bring yoiiT H|)HW,fHal lifft-boiit, Or ftfag ffOWti A 
 
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 i wpci^poot'ko^.nd hclp^mo out. It's getting arouuMown 
 " 1.cr;<i il&i jaui«c ft.0 only pUot of .kill and daring and good- 
 i *iu!eoiugh.t6 yentu,. amid the fiery breakers of damnafon to 
 %^Mpi^ eastoway,. fiood luck to us. There sn» end 
 • to the lost in this shoreless, bottomless, maelstroom of death. 
 i-Yaa^illbave plenty oflwsii»ess, so ship a-hoyUound to. lower 
 
 TOur kS-taekle, «ni teavJi away, youbraye oU.?reeke,„ 
 '■?'-'■.■■■,',■: .'VV-. „-:.&;■:■ tiNHArrv, Jack. 
 
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 Vi 
 
 CHAPTER XXVIX. 
 
 <<Th«ro arc more tilings in lioavcn and eartb, Uorajtoj^ 
 •■Tl'iiau exo di-camt of iu >-ofir,i»hilo"8oi)liy.? "*7 
 
 '^' • • .c -■"■;':. ■■■■■'■■■■■' ■^-..Vv. 
 
 TN pur^anco of Governor Tiucy's Recommendation, xnlm iu- 
 
 
 ' augural, a polytechuic was cliartered?^ th4.'LcgislMiue, 
 ,. deB<>minat(Mi " 'f lie Spiritual University ,l8bid ptaecd on a 
 "munificent foundation, at the expense of^ngbvcrnment, not so • 
 
 rn^ch fliqm^ba^ 
 t {fighter a m^ the eoiirso pf study encit 
 
 . ]i)mQing;if^ref:y dftgartmtot ©^ and |fce Board of tnstrua-r. 
 
 tioii^oii^tiHgm the ma|D^Batit?e teMi^^oni the Spheres, . 
 :^ ?^d^l^|>JS0»i|iMmt amoBg t%ji,'; J^iatotle,^ I^ ; Socrates, 
 
 ^^'''^&«es» # :B..iI*L.l^^ «ha^speare, 
 
 ^ 4.41' J i^i^ fe^^^ 4.:B;>;: John Calvin;-!). D., F. H: S. ; 
 
 3-Jii^ti^y;st:j^etC^ „ .. 
 
 - ' L. t. "U:; F:^S.^iy^a^l^eplig|JM|gf under Professors arid ^ 
 ; ^* S/ ^'>:^ j_..^i;^^;C^^mr^um^ ,8li, fop^citssbtllity of Mwinxl profundity of ao- 
 
 " i '.v-v'^,. 1 " \ '^ tS^ilx;^:oc (fi^loguc, Ai%% at (3^ 
 ■^ ' , ; » ; ' J- . , >. Ja^iea^^ J[qI 1 ^ 4mpMgtAt^on»a^ a^ of — 
 
 
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 850 
 
 Lucy D o s t o n . 
 
 disscrtutioQ ai; 
 they preferred it," 
 
 knowledge, inafinuch as it avoids the narrowness and restric- 
 tion of prescribed text books, while it affords free and unlimited 
 Bcope to tiie highest discursive faculties of both teacher, and 
 disciple, forming thus an clement of vast utility in the science 
 of education in general and pre-eminently so in its specific ap- 
 plicatiop tp SpirituaLUnivcrsity, where it was optional with tho 
 professors to ^>^ffllHB^*''Uction separately or collectively by 
 
 lloquial discourse, or if for any reason 
 11 forward at their pleasure, any of tho 
 spirits from either of the Spheres, and by familiar dialogue to 
 develop tho hidden stores of wisdom, as well as jectify the dog- 
 mas of past ages, not only for the immediate instruction of tho 
 pupils, but the enlightenment and progress of the community 
 at large. ^ /.u 
 
 See now, with what magtci facility the old-fashioned lo(j/u» 
 orthodoxy in science and art, philosophy and religioi^lwas de- 
 tected and replaced by the true coin. f 
 
 John C^Ivjb^Bd Tom Paine, evoked from their irespcctive 
 planes of spiricity", appeared upon the IBards in the following^ 
 edifymg colloquy : 
 
 Tom :r-" Well, friend John," shaking him heartily by the 
 hand, " here we are on our old theater again. But how changed ! 
 It hardly looks like the same planet, so vastly has it progressed, 
 since we were in the foiro." 
 
 Calvin : — " Yes, dear Tom, the development of the Rudi- 
 mcntal Sphere has been most wonderful. What a riietaraoi'- . 
 phosis ! Mountains leveled — vallies raised — space annihilated 
 — the earthi overlaid and seas traversed with nerves of thought 
 -—the eleujents harnessed and made the ready, obedicul, al- 
 
 ^ 
 
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 \ 
 
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■#.1 
 
 %, 
 
 Follies of tiiE XIX ti 
 
 861 
 
 most sentiont, nnd voluntary messengers of infljingence 
 mighty a leap forward of the law of progress ! " , . 
 
 Tom: — "But the propulhion, bo sudden, rapid, and 
 magnificently grand, has been no more rcujark|blc in the gro.ss 
 material organism, than in the intellectual nnd moral." 
 
 Calvin : — "Very true. "NVhila there are doubtless no 
 grcatqr minds here now, than in our own day and generation, 
 yet cultivated intellect is infinitely multiplied ; and as educa- 
 tion has developed tho masses, it is emphatically the ago of 
 thought, reflection, experiment — the reign -of reason without 
 faith. Ilenco your di8cipl(is have increased beyond measure, 
 ^evcr was infidelity, at once so rank, and rampant, and subtle, 
 and prevalent, as at this present time, and unless arresteJ, it 
 must inevitably reverse the order of progress and jplunge hu- 
 manity backward into the horrible pit of the most undeveloped 
 materialism," 
 
 Tom : — " What ! denominate me an infidel V *' 
 
 Calvin: — "I mean that others called you so, and alas! 
 there are ilot a few who stubbornly persist in repeating the ac- 
 cusation." 
 
 Tom: — "I know that by my contemporaries in tHe form, 
 generally, and by their descendants, whose orthodoxy is to bo- 
 lieve what their fathers before them believed, I am christened 
 nxi infidel. And why? Because I was a man of too much 
 souse to be trammeled, lioodwinked, and priestriddon. An 
 infidel ! and why ? Because I would not remain an inert clod 
 when within me glowed the promethean fire of God-like spir- 
 icity. Because I would not seal" my lips with silence, when, 
 
 through me, nature herself struggled for utterance. — Because 
 
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 the very core of Divinity in my heart of hearts would articulate 
 cternaV truth, from out the depths of undeveloped materialism. 
 Because my eager spirit, hungering and thii-sting for the iUu- 
 mination of superior spiricity, sought to escape from its chi7S. 
 alls, and, new fledged and unfettered, to soar away in immortal 
 
 sunlight." 
 
 Calvin : — « Understand me, dear Tow, that / do not style 
 you an inGdel. You were indeed a man of sen.^e, though the 
 public pronounced you an insane fool; and not only were you 
 a man of sense, but a prodigy of wisdom, albeit the multitude, 
 in other words, the mob, denounced you as a vile, shameless, 
 impious, blasphemous Wretch j a moral pest, loathsome and ab. 
 horred alike in the sight of earth and the Zones. The trouble 
 was, your philosophy, or more properly your spirituality, was 
 too profound and luminous for the sensualism of the vulgar herd 
 to appreciate or comprehend. To you,,it was self-evident tjuth, 
 the bright coruscations of all luminous spiricity in which your 
 towering, god-like soul progressed, while the very intensity of 
 it|A)rightness blinded and bewildered the mass of more uxAe- 
 vefoped humanity, leaving them to wade in the qua„gmiife of 
 unbelief, and not a few to wallow in tTle deep and: filthy slough 
 of atheigm. Not only do_ they repudiate, as you did, the dog- 
 matisms, puerilities, and nonsense of Christianity, but unable 
 like you to penetrate with spirit-vision through the fog and 
 darkness of formalism, the future is terra incognito, an im- 
 penetrable, drekd unknown. < To tlicn^death is the all-life ex- 
 tin-uisher, instead of a new. birth into the Spheres, and the 
 grave, not an advanced stage of development in the career of 
 endless progress, bi;it the infinite black night of annihilation ! " 
 
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 Follies ov the XIXth CentiJ>y. 8^8 
 
 
 m 
 
 t 
 
 To»t— "I am not to blame for tUat. If people wHl bo 
 deaf, and blind, and dumb, in Bpite of their sensec, the fault 
 does not lie at my door." 
 
 Calvin : — " Truly spoken. You wrote in a style olear, 
 nervous, aud caustic enough, to give hearing to the deaf, eyes 
 to the blind, aud speech to the dumb. But your enemies say, 
 you wrote in a bad spirit." 
 
 . XoM : — "I confess that my writings wear a tinge of se- 
 verity. And how could I help it ? 1 must develop myself. 
 The law of progress, working out its destiny in and through 
 ' inc, must be obeyed. Think of my intellect towering above 
 those around me. ^My head butted the stars. I was a giant 
 among pigmies — a man among puppets — a spark of divinity 
 Kurroundcd by the gross rubbish of sensualism. The beings 
 called men — what were they ? Veriest automatons — unde- 
 veloped earth-machines. Oh ! how I loathed their groveling, 
 cringing, pusillanimous submission to the yoke of Ghristianismi 
 apparently unconscious of their ttndevelopment, and that sub- 
 lime destiny ever beckoning them onward to the Zones. How 
 it stirs my blood to think of it. Can you wonder that I spoke 
 out? How could I smother the divinity within me and keep 
 t my light hid under a half bushel ? " 
 
 Calvin : •— " Truth, Thomas, eyery word truth, and fully 
 do I appreciate it. Had you not possessed the patience of 
 Job, combined with the meekness of Moses, to quote a cant 
 phrase of the pietists, how could you have refrained from im- 
 printing your burning thoughts with a peri of steel, red boti 
 and dipped in the wormwood and gall of bitterness, boiled down 
 
 
 80* 
 
 * 
 
SiM,., 
 
 864 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 to black lye in the flcry furnace of infidelity, the moat con- 
 firmed and intensely malignant. 
 \ Tom : —^ Right, John. Now you talk like a philosopher 
 - and a gentleman, in short, like a ' siraon pure ' 8pii itualist. How 
 different from your old orthodoxy— your bine light — total dc 
 pravity — whining repentance — slavish fear — divine docvccs 
 — eternal hell and fury — you can and you can't, you shall 
 and you shant, and you-shall-bc-daAincd-if-yon-don't creed. 
 Dont you see ijpw, brother John, that with {ft my black-hearted 
 • infidelity, and fiendish blasphemy, and foul obscenity, as my 
 enemies termed it, 1 was nevertheless infinitely above you a]I, 
 on the score of intellectual and moral dcvclopmtrrt. How I 
 looked down with scorn and contcnipt npon the whole world of 
 scientific dwarfs and Christian pagan?, and babel of c'rccds, 
 CathoUc and Protestant, as in the strength ai^d grandeur of my 
 superiority, mental and moral, I soared aloft on the pinions of 
 light, and sailed through the cloudless blpe ether of the Spheres I 
 And yet was I comparatively undeveloped — a fettered prisoner 
 in the materiality of rudimentalism, groping in the dark — 
 longing and seeking for light, yet entangled in the horrible 
 labyrinths of pagan midnight. -Had Spiritualism then beamed 
 upon roe in its present full-orbed glory, how my spirit, escaping 
 Irom its cell, would have mounted to the highest plane of thought, 
 and roamed the upper circles of spiricity ! " 
 
 Calvin :*-" What a calamity to the cause 6f science and 
 religion, what a deplorable los» to humanity itself, that you did 
 not appear early in the eternal series of development. Hud you 
 only issued upon the stage of existence when time was- young. 
 
 
>■?•■ -k. 
 
 F O L L I ES OF THE X I X T tl C E N T U R Y . ^-35 
 
 iJow different would have been the history of the uniTcrsc, and 
 especially of earth 1" 
 
 XoM : — "Yes. It wbuld not liave remained as it di.l, 
 through countless ages, (Ireary, lifelcs?, motionless, chaotic, but 
 mouldech into shape, symmetry, and harmony, it would, l.»n^ 
 ere this, have been far out of sight on the track of progress'." 
 
 Calvin : — " You do. not mean, Thomas, to be uiidorstood, 
 that prior to thcphenomcnop of your advent in the form, the 
 system of nature, or any part of it — the lludimentiil Sphere, 
 for instancQ — had no existence; that there was no sun, nor 
 moon, nor stars, neither vegetation nor inlWibitant." 
 
 Tom : — " "What, Cal. 1 are you not yet sufficiently progressed 
 to understand the simplest elementary truths ? I mean that, 
 ■previous to the manifestation of myself and Spiritualism, the 
 world was in its rudimenKl state. , There were the fferms of 
 form, life, activity, but they were not expanded. There re-., 
 posed, latent and untlcveloped, the seeds of things, of vegeta- 
 bles, animals Jfcknjcn, the most forward of which had orvly 
 sprouted, a foviPRe in the bud, but none had advanced to the 
 maturity of the fruit or the' blossom." 
 
 Calvi^ : — " You do not mean to say there were no ad- 
 vancelf phenomena of the human biological, intellectual and 
 moral. What think you of Lord Bacon, Sir Isaac Newton, 
 Galileo, and La Place j of Socrates and Plato; of Homer, Shaks-, 
 peare, and Milton; of Napoleon and Washington ; of King 
 ' David, Solomon, St. Paul, and other like developments in the 
 history of the Rudimental Sphere ? " 
 
 Tom : — " Now, John, are you really so ignorant still ? Or 
 do you mean to manifest antagonism to me, and introduce dis- 
 
 ^4iit -^'( j^mi^aif^^f -^ iLrr^'SStt 
 
^H'. 
 
 ■I I 
 
 L uyo Y Boston. 
 
 U/O 
 
 856 
 
 harmony into the Spheres. Bewail, beware. Forget the oM 
 
 trick.s jrou were up to when in the form. 
 . Calvin: — "No, uo, my dear Paine, we arc in unify. 
 
 There is not the slightest shade of discord between us. It i^ 
 \not at all on my own account, that J appear thus to doubt or 
 
 Lil or query in any case, but for iho ct.liohtenment ..f the 
 
 circle, and through" it, of benighted mortals still dwelliugjn the . 
 
 form." \, 
 
 XoM : — "Well, Cal., I thought it unaccountably stran^o, if, 
 
 with your pri?ent progression, you could have the faco to c:i>t 
 the faintest Und6w of doubt upon iho fnt-t of my sUporior 
 
 spiricity." 
 
 Calvin : — " Doubt your transcendental onsphoremcnt in 
 the uppernist circle? As soon might I doubt any other sclC; 
 evident truth, the existence of the Spheres themselves, or tbo 
 truthfulness of Spiritualism, for example. * 
 
 To evince my profound appreciation of your pre-eminertce as 
 the pioneer explorer of the Zones, as well as of the boundless 
 wilds of science and philosophy, I was about to turn our di.=- 
 course^upon the topic of your travels through the Spheres, that 
 the world might reap the benefit of your adventures, and hail 
 you benefactor of the race." 
 
 'I'oM : — " A very timely suggestion, my dear Calvin, which 
 I have anticipated, and one that will afford jne the opportunity 
 of interesting and enriching the public with the fruits of my 
 pilgrimage and discoveries. The great Christophei: C#umbu3 
 . crossed the Atlantic and unwittingly run aground u]^ a New 
 Continent in the Rudimental Sphere, while I have tra^rsed — 
 not a more rirolat lika the Atlanti* — but th« thorel^M and 
 
.^ 
 
 X- 
 
 1 
 
 ■ I 
 
 F01.LIK8 Of TiiK XIXtii Ckntuuy. 857 
 
 fiithcrto trackless ocean of Spiricity, and brou^^ht to li}:5ht, not 
 M\ insij^niGcant speck of land like Xi.ith. America, but a New 
 Earth and new Ueaveny. C..]\niibus found liitnself .so com- 
 pletely cclii)?'cd by tlie iuteHij^ent cuucption, the bold, dariii-, 
 and transcendent huccoss of iny i»'l ventures, that, covered with 
 i-h:i}rrin and n»nrti(icatlon, he liaM-thrown aside his chart and 
 compass in despair, and rrtiied into obscurity, a disappointed 
 man. IJut pardon me, my most nia-nanimous Cal., T perceive 
 your cai^ernesa to enter upon our c(dlo(|uiaj di.<tjui>ition. The 
 welfare of our brethren in the fum, the pro;j:ress of humanity 
 and Spiritualism, i.s hindered by our delay. Ask what-cjacs- 
 tions, propound what queries you choo.-e, you will find me 
 everywhere at home." 
 
 (; ^j^VlN : — " Well, Thomas, to begin at the beginning, ex- 
 pound to us in outline the grand fundamental theory of devel- 
 opment." 
 
 To^l :_<«That I can do in few words. Matter apd spirit 
 are but the phenomena or attributes— whether dormant ot ac- 
 tive, visible or mvisible — of the Supreme Law of Development. 
 This Law first reposed, the self-cxi.stent, all-creative Force, im- 
 bo?qmed in illimitable blank space. All was t\c uhivcrsal void 
 of H/jdcvclopment. The period for mani'/<'i>talion arrived, when 
 by ffpontaneour^iiibustion the constituents of, matter were 
 evolved in atomic particles or nuclei, suspended inert and im- 
 perceptible throughout the.depths of boundless, silent, gloomy 
 vacuity. This was the starting point of projms, or the Law 
 of Development in active operation. And now the grand pro- 
 cess of creation set forward. By the inherent, self-impelling 
 force of attraeiion, dnwing the particles of matter into organio 
 
858 
 
 Lucy B o b t o n 
 
 contact, friction was ^nodv^cci], which of necessity goncratod 
 heat and li^ht, or the i.nMcii.le.s of life and locomo.ion, u.ul 
 which, in the iuogro>.s i.f development, have issued into all tho 
 endk-ss numilostations of Nature, inanimate and animate, rudi- 
 uicntal and splicrioal. 
 
 Or to hipcnk in tlic more exact and scientific terms of tho • 
 New Philosophy. "The Law of Development, the Uw of Do- 
 velnpmentin l»rogres«i.,n, organized the first Orb-Creatiou iff 
 form of appcarinir as one j.'lobular ovarium, which Wfxs the germ 
 of the terrestrial universe of universes; and withiii the gh-bu- 
 lar was the embryo of the cxtenial of the universal, impersonal 
 ^reation, as one curvilinear ovarium; and within the curyilin- 
 C'lr the germ of the external of the universal, jiexsonal, or intel- 
 lectual creation, iu form of one vortical ovarium." 
 
 "In the bogrnning of the orb-formation, preparatory for man- 
 furmati .ns, vehicles of Quielciing Spint into intellectual for- 
 niations, the universal concavity and the universal convexity, 
 were co-enfoldod and encompassed in the universal Zodiac, and 
 within the concavity was the visible disclosure unto the germ 
 
 of the Terrestrial." 
 
 Calvin: <» Exceedingly lucid and satisfactory exposition 
 
 of a dark and knotty subject, friend Thomas. To couch the 
 same facts in the vulgar tongue of the Rudimcntal Sphere, I 
 suppose .you would say that all the manifestations of matter and 
 epirit ascend in regular progression from inferiorto superior 
 organisms, the superior being nothing more nor lc.«s than the 
 legitimate productions of the inferior, according to the law of 
 Nature, and not by the creative power of a personal God." 
 Tom : " Precisely so. Particles of matter dampened by 
 
FoLMKs Q.p TUB XIXtu Century. 359 
 
 the moisture of the ntino.-phcro oxhulcd from the face of the 
 deep, and nurtured by tbo genial influence of Vv^^i and heat 
 — in other words, matter hy the proce88 of fermentation trans- 
 formed itself into movinfr, living, feeling, organisms. A lump 
 of mud progrcs.scd into a clam ; the clam into a lobster ; the 
 lobster into 11 quadruped ; the quadruped into a monkey; the 
 monkey into a negro; the negro into a white man j the white 
 man into a woman ; and the woman into an an^jel." 
 
 Calvin : — " Sublime th'.ry, and beautiful as sublime, id 
 harmony with reason, common «cnso, and the naturcof things ; 
 cunying with it its own demonstration, for how often do we 
 meet with people who arc exceedingly crabbed. So there are 
 the mulish, the swinish, the snakish ; the chicken-hearted, the 
 lamb-like, the hawk-eyed, the brazen-fueed ; with block-heads, 
 Icifher-hcad.^ and so on, according to their respective pedigrees, 
 or the biological channels through which they have been seve- 
 rally doveloi>cd. Especially is thc'^t notorious that in the 
 i^rnus homo arc Uiultitudes of croakers, affording the strongest 
 presumptive proof, at least, that a large share of mankind were 
 originally but tadpole.^ and are progressing into a higher and 
 more sublimated ppocies of human frogs. 
 ' Tom : — " Exactly Such is the true cosmogony for which 
 
 I con vouch." 
 
 Calvin: — "But how could you fathom such depths of 
 
 niystery?'* . . . ,/ 
 
 Tom : — "By the power of my superior spiricity.' 
 Calvin : — " Through what process ? simplyjheorizing, (Jif 
 
 absolute demonstration, or both ?" 
 
 Tom : — " Neither — but by actual observation. My mi»«on 
 
v>. 
 
 860 Lvov Boston. 
 
 was discovery to know aud reveal the Litbcrto unknown No- 
 thingdauntcd by the hugeness of the undertaking, with the ^ew 
 Philosophy as my chart and compass, I boldly struck out an 1 
 followed the course of nature back to its source, looked off i»ta 
 chaos, penetrated the arcana of creation, aud returned down the 
 track of progress, scrutinizing most minutely, from bcginnin^^ 
 to end, the whole process of development." , 
 
 Calvin : " You speak then from positive kuuwledgc?" 
 
 Tom : — "I «F*^ ff°" positive knowledge." 
 
 Calvin : — "In relation to everything V 
 
 Tom : — " Yes, in relation to everything." 
 
 Calvin : — " Well, as a philosopher and eye-witness, you 
 have unfolded the true theory of Creation. No^|p|ia" trheologioii, 
 
 define what Oodk is^*— — -^ 
 
 Tom : — " God is not a person, neither matter nor spirit, but 
 
 tiprinnple. 
 
 Calvin ; — " Self-existent, or self-created ? " ^ 
 
 Tom: "Self-created — the product of developed intelli- 
 gence." 
 
 Calvin : — " If the Deity be not a person, but only a prin- 
 ciple, how should we bKtaught to pray ? " 
 
 Tom : " Why thus. Oh, thou Universal Principle 1 thou 
 
 omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent Abstraction ! the self-cre- 
 ated Creator, Preserver, and Benefactor, by- which all things 
 sprang spontaneously into existence, and in which they continue 
 to progress ! we recognize thee as the Almighty Law of Devel- 
 opment enstamped the Sovereign Ruler of the universe, and 
 by whose operation all nature is advancing in the march of pro- 
 gress. 0, thou most blessed Abstract Principle, save us from 
 
 =t . 
 
No^ 
 
 F U L L 1 £ 8 I " t'iI E X 1 X T II C K N T U U Y . 861 
 
 the idol-worship of Christianity, the iufidclity of the Bible, aud 
 the despotism of pricstcrafk. Ilriiig w into harmony with tho 
 ' beautiful pnd tho true,' mii -'nMo u^^ Bpoedily to progress 
 from tho lowlands of nuili «Mit.ili>m f<» tho "heights of puro . 
 spiricity, where thy power aiid-ili>ry i.-. manifested in the high- 
 stylo of phenomena. And Oh ! our Law of Development, thou 
 most holy deiGc I'rinviple, which was and id, 'and is to bo, tho 
 only Potentate and Great I am, help us ever to feel the prcs^ 
 cnec of thy workinj^s, in the. Career of manifest destiny. And 
 finally, O thou most Mighty Law, may we never in our unbelief 
 throw obstructions upon the track of thy progress, but rever- 
 ently acqtritsce in the motions of thy propelling force, till wo 
 reach tho apex of the cono of" Development, and poise our idcn- , 
 titics in harmonic unity, forever and ever, Ameo." 
 
 Calvin: — "Most beautiful, comprehensive, and affecting 
 manifestation of the spirit of devotion and pious homage. In - 
 all the tlemcnts of true worship, how infinitely superior to the 
 Lord's Prayer, which I was wont to repeat while in the form. 
 By the way, Thomas, tell us what estimate we ought to put 
 upon the Bible." 
 
 Tom: — "The same as upon iiny other book made up of ' 
 some truth and a great daal of eroh" ^' 
 
 Calvin : — " But were not its autbfors inspired ? " 
 
 Tom : — "No more than any other Jlediums are inspired." 
 ' Calvin : — " They" were, then, simply spiritual Mediums ? " 
 
 Tom: — " Nothing more nor less." 
 
 Calvin : — " How then could they promulgate cither false ** 
 or erroneous communications ? " 
 
 81 
 
 ■m- 
 
802 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ■ -v " ^P 
 
 A; 
 
 ,> 
 
 TOM :-"In vriou. «»J». Tl,, M.^Jium. mnj- h.vc Wen 
 low in tho grade of.pirUi.y c.,„,pa;a.ivcb- «u.Wvol.,,«J, »c,.k 
 ia iutclLct una morul -unnina. Tl.cy mny uU l»vo Ucn 
 „.r,,cd by their own opinion., will., pr.'jnaiee., and .n..g.na. 
 ,i„u« , or l,y..l.e eontnJling inflacnec-tof gro,,, ...departed -pmt. 
 around the,„ ; or low, .en,u«l, perverse .l.,o.>e.l 'Pi"'» !-K^^ 
 l,„vo been intentionally dceei.ed an,l led them a.tray. V.^r 
 one or .nore ,.f tl,e,e »up,K,.-i.io,„ will .nffieiently account for 
 .be blunder,, ab,«rdi.iv», and f.d4tie,, tl.r,.u,Uout ri.e tl,r,,t.a« 
 Bible, »» well „ V^r«teroce.ieou«, eon.radictory, deeotful, 
 .illy, nneouth, vuljiar, and fal»e den.ooslrations." ■ 
 
 C vi-V.N : - " Tho liible, lbercf..re, i, not a revelation from 
 God' nor the produet of its .ev.ral author., but » Serie.of eom- 
 „,unieation. fr.m departed .piri.-, through their re.pecfv. 
 
 niediuin3 or ainanuen^^os." ^ . 
 
 Tom •-" Yes, that is the ^um u,kI substance of it, except 
 
 tho.e portions origi,uUing in the u.ediun.s themselves. But lest 
 . any should be disposed to doubt n.y veracity, Doctor Paul is . 
 t present and ready to eorruborute and eonnrm what I say. Am 
 
 • I not i?ight. Doctor?" ^ ' ,V i. • 
 
 St Pai'L • - " I count myself happy, most noble 1 a.ne, in 
 the opportunity of bearing witness to the truth, touchit^ the 
 topic whereof thou speakest; especially because I know thee to 
 be expert in all questions of revelation ; and more espee.ally 
 because I can bea/record before all who hear me, how perverse 
 and evil, and that continually, was my manner of life and doc- 
 Wne when in the form, and after my conversion to Chris- 
 tianity." 
 
^•^ 
 
 ;j*v,»<^. 
 
 D bocn 
 , wAk 
 u been 
 tiagina* 
 1 Hpirits 
 
 unt for 
 hristian 
 cccitful, 
 
 on froua 
 lof com- 
 ispcctivo 
 
 t, except 
 But lest 
 Paul is . 
 ay. Am 
 
 Paine, in 
 ;hii)g the 
 w thee to 
 Bspccially 
 I perverse 
 1 aud doc- 
 to Cliris* 
 
 
 '»» 
 
 ■« 
 
 Follies ^or the X,IXtu Oen^touV!^ 80a 
 
 Tom: — " Well, Doctor Paul, to bfgin with the Old Testa. 
 
 iHtuL: — I" tl>c lii-'hl of jour present gnulc of »pkici(^, whut 
 
 Bay you of Gcneai;* if " • . ^ ...^ 
 
 gY. Paul : — '♦ About us true as any fictitious -work that .is "^^ 
 
 now printed." ' , 
 
 T„3,:_-" Of Exodus?" ' . • - 
 
 St. Paul : — " As good a book as could bo expected in that 
 
 . XoM : — "Of Leviticus ? " 
 
 St. Paul : — " Not directly fromf God, ns man supposes 
 
 Tom: — "Of Numbers?" 
 
 St. Paul : — " Such an absurdity as that ought to bo cast 
 into the lowest depth of the infernal regions." 
 
 Tom: — "Of J<3shua?" 
 
 St. PaJJL : — " Almost the whole book is false." 
 
 Tom: — "OfJudges?" 
 
 St. Paul : — " Ahoaj^ the Ba;no as the others ; and it needs 
 no argument to show that it is void of inspiration." 
 
 Tom: — "OfRuth?" » „, 
 
 St Paul : — " Without inspiration, the same ag th% 
 
 others." 
 
 Tom : — " Of Samuel ? " < 
 
 St. Paul: — " A part of it is correct." ^ * 
 
 _ ToMi — " Of Kings?" /^ 
 
 St. Paul : — " Multitudes of mistakes — not correct — no 
 
 inspiration." 
 
 Tom: — "Of Ezra?" 
 
 St. Paul : — " By a person Ijearing its name, without inspi- 
 
 >^t.r 
 
 ft"*! 
 
 Oh 
 
 
 ■•*f 
 
 .:\ 
 
 ration 
 
 » 
 
 I 
 
 , ^ 
 
• •i. 
 
 864 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 Tom: — "Of J^ob?" ^ 
 
 St Paul:- "Written through mediums - would have 
 been correct, had it not been that man destroyed its pu^y/' 
 
 Tom: — "Of Psalms?" '^ 
 
 St Paul : — " Written in the same way, and some of them 
 
 are correct. 
 
 Tom-- "Of the New Testament?" ^ 
 
 St. Paul : - " The same as the Old. Both of a piece." 
 Tom : — " Of the Bible as a whole, from Genesis to Revela- 
 
 tions?" , ,;. 
 
 St. Paul:.— "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin. 
 
 Tom : — " In what light do you regard the entire system of 
 Judaism and Christianity ?" I 
 
 St. Paul : — ^' As a cunningly devised fable." ' 
 Tom: — " How was it got up ? " 
 St. Paul : — " By priestcraft." 
 Tom : — " And how perpetuated? " 
 
 St. Paul: — " By priestcraft." . 
 
 Tom : " What is its manifest destiny V* 
 
 St. Paul : — " Annihilation.' 
 Tom : — " In what way ? " \ 
 St. Paul: — "By Spiritualism. 
 Tom: — "How do you look, upon the present structure 
 of society, and the state f civilization in the mundane 
 
 Sphere?" 
 
 St. Paul : — " As all wrong — unprogrcssed - pagan." 
 Tom : — " And how shall it be righted — developed — en- 
 lightened?" - ' : 
 St. Paul: — "By Spiritualism." ' • 
 
 w 
 
 l> 
 
 -:.»- 
 
 i 
 
 I 
 
 1 
 
 ._..-. .,, ,-frg^ " 
 
 .' .1 
 
lave 
 
 licm 
 
 >» 
 
 vela- 
 
 tm of 
 
 — en- 
 
 ucture I 
 
 mdane 
 
 t 
 
 -:.»- 
 
 ■it 
 
 Follies of the XIXth Century._ 
 
 365 
 
 Tom : " What do you consider the chief appliances to be 
 
 j^mployed in the work?" 
 
 St. Paul: — "In general, Spirit Circles, Spirit Iiiterature, 
 and Legislative Refornf ; but in particular, yotir < Age of Rea- 
 son,' Common Sense/ the < Rights of Women,' and your ' Pil- 
 grimage to the Seventh Circle/ . 
 
 Tom : " Doctor, you are an oracle of wisdom. Unbelievers, 
 
 Fcstus-like, will declare you are beside yourself j that Spirit- 
 ualism and much progression do make you mad. But the lu- 
 nacy a>id madness belong to your accusers in their want of de- 
 velopment. They, in reality, arc insane heretics, while you 
 speak forth the words of truth and soberness, worthy the disci- 
 ple of Gamaliel, worthy of yourself, worthy the exalted plane of 
 epiricity, to which you have attained, as the leading Professor 
 of Spiritual University. But pardon me. Doctor Paul, for de- 
 taining you so long. If I have trespassed upon time or been 
 ' tedious in my ini^uiries, the importance of the subject is my 
 
 apology. / o '' 
 
 " And now, brother Calvin, shall we resume, for a few mo- 
 ments, the thread of our disquisition ? " ' 
 
 Calvin : — " I am always at your service, my dear Thomas, 
 but as Governor Boston has been pleased to favor us with her 
 distinguished presence on this occasion, and is one of the most 
 highly-developed in the form, I beg leave to introduce her in 
 my stead, to complete the present interview.'' 
 
 Tom : — " a courteous suggestion, brother John. I accept 
 the substitute. Miss Goverrfor, do you acquiesce? " 
 ^ Lucy: — " With pleasur^." „ 
 
 Tom : — " Propound anV question, at your option." 
 
 gl" 
 
 
 "if**" 
 
r~' 
 
 366 • Lucy Boston. 
 
 ' L„cY :-" What is tho lowest form of existence in the Stt- 
 perior Spheres ?'i > 
 
 Tom:— "Matter." , <• ,i,« !?„ 
 
 Lucy :-"The same in its oonptitucnts as that of the Ru- 
 
 dimental?" c j » 
 
 TOM •-" Exactly like it, only more refined. 
 
 Lucy:-" What is the structure and physical geography 
 
 oftheZones?" _ Iv ,^a ^t^ 
 
 Tom — " a precise fac simile of earth ; more sublimated to 
 be sure, but yet eomposcd of laid and water in endless variety 
 of mountain and valley, hill and plain, field and forest '..beet- 
 ling cliffs and yawning chasms: snow-capped peaks and belch- 
 io. volcanoes i fountains and rivulets; rivers, lakes, and seas ; 
 Jnery the most sublime and beautiful, spread out and ahnost 
 alw»ys smiling beneath cloudless suns, but sometimes sl.ook and 
 swept by thunder and tempest, flood and spher^u^ke. 
 
 Lucy-- "This v^ould indicate that spir.t hfo m tho 
 Spheres cannot differ materially from human life on earth " ^ 
 Tom • - " Your inference is correct. As. the geography of 
 Sphoredom is an exact type of the geography of Eavthdom, so 
 the inhabitants of the former correspond to those of the latter 
 in their physical, mental, and moral characteristics and ac 
 
 •'lucy : — " Are we to understand that the /dtec laws of hu 
 
 „,an phjsiolngy ob.ain in the super-mu^dane c^hfles of^sp.r.Cy 
 
 as in the mundane?" \ 
 
 Tojl . _ «' Precisely. In every stage of their progression, spir- 
 its cany along with them all the elen.ents of their earthly mate- 
 riality. Having the same physical organs performing the sam. 
 
 r -• 
 
•■ 
 
 '9 
 
 Follies of tub XIXtii Centurv. 367 
 
 4 
 
 functions, they are just as truly * in the body,' as when in the « 
 form. Hence they continue, as usual, to dress, and eat, and 
 drink, and sleep. In short they keep up all their old habits 
 of living." 
 
 Lucy : — " Wi|.hout the necessity of forecast and nojanual 
 
 labor?" 
 
 Tom : — " By no means. Though nature is prolific in spon- 
 taneous productions, still under the strict regimen of her im- 
 mutable laws, she compels even her progressed, spiritual chil- 
 dren, to develop their subsistence from her hidden stores at the 
 cost of individual skill, industry and economy." 
 
 Lucy : — ^ " Is'it possible that spirits are obliged to eat bread ' 
 in the sweat of their brow ? " 
 
 Tom : — " And whj not, pray ? Does nature change in the 
 conditions of her beiijg? No. Everywhere and to all eternity, 
 effort; exertion, nixus — as we philosophers would say —is tho^ 
 essential, necessary property of progression, which is the out- 
 working or external manifestation of the Supreme Law of 
 ■ Development; a property alike indispensable, universally , and . 
 forever indispensable, to physical and mental, moral arid social 
 health, purity and happiness." 
 
 Lucy : — " What sir, then, are the.|iieculiar employmcnfs of 
 the inhabitants of the Spheres?" • . 
 
 Tom : — " As a matter of course, all the various occupations, 
 useful and ornamental, in the respective departments of art, 
 Bcienco, manufacture, commerce, agriculture and speculation." 
 
 Lucy: — "What are the prevailing amusements in the 
 
 Zones?" ^ ' 
 
 Tom : — " Music and dancing j a constant routinfif .(pf con- 
 
 % 
 
■w 
 
 868 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 certs, parties, balls, and operas ; stght-sceing, hunting, fishing, 
 and gaining, particularly card-playing, &c." 
 
 Lucy i.r--" Are there distinctions of caste in society 
 
 there?" ' V 
 
 Tom : — " Very great." 
 
 Lucy : — 'f On what ground ? " 
 
 Tom:-" The score of spiricity. Each successive circle 
 constitutes a distinct and separate cla.s, the highest or vpper. 
 sevens, answering to the ' upper-tens ' of the Kudimental 
 
 Sphere." ' ' . 
 
 Lucy : — "So with you there is only the aristocracy of spir- 
 
 icity, irrespective of wealth or connections?" 
 
 Tom : — '.' That is the rul^, though it sometimes happens that 
 where spirits wish to be ciceedingly select, they take the 
 liberty to pass by their neighbors who may be either not so 
 wealthy or of less noble birth, or spirits of color. However, 
 as a general thing, there are no mere artificial distmctions 
 in spirit society. For instance, during my travels in the 
 Sphetes, while exploring the western .wilderness of the Sixth 
 Circle, far beyond any spirit abode, as I supposed, I chanced 
 to light upon a wigwam, and entering, who should I find there 
 but old Daniel Boone, Black Hawk, and Dr. Franklin. They 
 belong to no church, they acknowledge no creed, but together 
 ^pend^theii^time alternately, in trapping, chasing deer and buf- 
 falo, and looking, from Nature up to Nature's Law of De- 
 
 " vdopnientl ' : - - 
 
 • "Furthermore; as there is no personal cmte in the Zones, 
 so is there no aristocracy of business or avocation in any single 
 Circle. To my lurpriM I found John Bunyan keeping Uv 
 
") 
 
 Follies i)F the °X1X.xh Century. 86d 
 
 em at the fl»ot of Delectable Mountain. General Jackson is 
 a blacksmith ; Cpomwell, a tinker j Martin Luther, an auction- 
 eer; John Calvin, D. D., the verj amiable and accomplislied Pro- 
 fessor in Spiritual University, owns a brewery and drives a 
 splendid business since the repeal oC the Maine Law ; Timothy 
 Dwight, Jonhthan Kdwards, Dr. ChalmcrB, and some other cel- 
 ebrated divines in spiritdom, spend their time in writing sermons - 
 for their successors in the form j Father Abraham is a buttiher ; 
 John Wesley keeps a t«n-pin alley at Spiritual Springs ; General 
 Putman peddles yankee notions j Ouvier, Buffon, and Gold- 
 smith, have formed a co-partnership in the breeding of Shang- 
 hais; while others less famous in Tiistory, follow the learned 
 
 professions." , 
 
 Lucy : " You astonish us, Mr. Paine, with the marvelous- 
 
 nes3 of your revelations." 
 
 Tom : -^ " I could easily astonish you with equal wonders, 
 to the extent of many volumes." 
 
 Lucy: — ^" Doubtless, and great would be our satisfaction 
 in listening to the recital. It is earnestly to be hoped we may 
 yet have that pleasure. At present, however, we are admon- 
 ished by the dial to be brief. With the permission of the^ 
 professors and your own, I would like, before the close of this 
 interview, to put a few interrogations in relation to several top- 
 ics of the first degree of interest." *• 
 XoM : — " I am at the service of your Excellency." 
 Lucy : — ■ " What is the prevailing form of civil govemffiqnt 
 in the Spheres?" 
 
 Tom : — "Invariably democratic, or, more strictly speaking, 
 a representative democracy." ' ^ 
 
 ..\ * 
 
570 
 
 L u c V Boston 
 
 ■ Luor: — "Bo females exercise the elective franchise, and 
 are thej eligible to public office ?" 
 
 Tom : — " In all respects, the population of the Zones en- 
 joying equal political privileges, Mrithout distinction of gcpdcr. 
 Of the two the fair sex arc by f\ir the more popular, and are in 
 reality at the head of government in both the civil and social 
 commonwealth. For example, in the Sixth Circlo, Ccncral Fan- 
 ny Wright is President of the Federal Uniou. Her entire 
 Cabinet is composed of females, while Goncrul, now George, 
 Washington holds the post of corporal in the militia." 
 
 XuoY : — " In spiritual courtship and marriage, which party 
 is accustomed to take the lead ?" 
 
 Tom : — " The bride j in every instance, llcucc, in all the 
 Spheres, there is not to be found a single old maid." 
 .' Lucy : — " What is the prevailing style of costume, particu- 
 larly in the circles of fashion ?" 
 
 Tom : — " Invariably Bloomer. Indeed Bloomerism is the 
 ■ handmaid of Woman's Rights, and Woman's Rights arc a con- 
 
 'if 
 
 Btituent element of Spiritualism." 
 
 Lucy : — " It is held that, as persons progress in spirituality, 
 
 they also glow in harmony, love, good-wiU and charity. What 
 
 therefore is the general character of the dwellers in the Zones, 
 
 for benevolence and kindness?" 
 
 Tom : — " They are, for the most part, exceedingly generous 
 and kind, especially to strangers. In all my pilgrimage to tho 
 Seventh Circle and back' again, I was treated With the utmost hos- 
 pitality, save in a solitary instance. Faint and exhausted with 
 fa8ting.and traveling^ I approached a farm house of goodly dimen- 
 sions and agar by wliich, was a large number of cows grazing in 
 
■#. 
 
 -* Follies OF thk XIXtii Ckntuuy. 3T1 
 
 a field of^uxunant clover. Eutcring the kitchen door, and loan- 
 ing qn my staff for support, I craved of the good dairy-woman, 
 ft little milk to quench my thirst and impart strength to my 
 weary frame; whereupon she turned me off with a short pint 
 of' buttermilk, and for which I was obliged to pay her tuo cents ! 
 I progressed, hoping the good woman might soon be developed 
 into a higher plane of spiricity." 
 
 Lucy : — "Is it practicable for individuals while in the form 
 to pass to the Zones and return ? " 
 
 Tom : — " Certainly, but rarely. AVo have a distinguished 
 instance of the kind, in the case of Judge Addlehead. His fa- 
 mous " letter " produced so profound a sensation aftd awakened 
 such enthusiastic joy throughout the Zones, that a deputation 
 of distinguished spirits was commissioned to invite and escort 
 him thither as a public guest. His progress was a continued 
 triuiiph. Every possible distinction of honor was heaped upon 
 him/and as the climax of which, ho was voted the entire free- 
 dom of the Spheres; to go and come at his pleasure, free of 
 expense; and in addition to which, a handsome fortune wa3 
 bestowed upon him, by individual subscription, in token of the 
 invaluable service he had rendered to the cause of Spiritualism 
 in the publication of his ' Letter.* Nor is this all. Leaving 
 his great twio'manifestation and co-adjutor. Doctor Z. Socratei 
 ' Nozzleman, to superintend the development of humanity in the . 
 form, or the temporal welfare of mankind, the Judge, as the 
 very incarnation of the- Law of Development, conceived the ex- 
 ceedingly original, bold, and striking plan of-rescuing lost spir- 
 its from the pit of perdition. Successful in the very first at- 
 tempt, he published himself to the unfortunates as the only &nd 
 
 ■-m-f. 
 
 
372 Luov Boston. 
 
 Almighty Saviour. But hi., bcncvolonco not satisfied «ith tho 
 deliverance of a single soul at a time, ho i. no,, engaged wuh a 
 spivitnal Boring Machine and Steam I'addy in cutfng a tunnc 
 and s.airease np through .he eternal rock, that .all .n t e rol.ns 
 of darkness ; so ifet all lIoU ean rush «t once into tho »ri«' 
 circles of heavenly spirioity!" 
 . The interview closed. • 
 
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 CIIAPTKU XXVIII. 
 
 " Out, ,vt Impostorx I < 
 
 Qumk iMilvWiK, clmAtliig monnUbanki — jovir i^WU 
 In to miika nouiid inon nloU, nnJ Mklt in«D Kill." 
 
 IN all the "region round ubout," a variety of physicians had 
 sprung up, administering relief tu the sick, upon the ucwly- 
 disGovcrod principles of Spirituali'-m 
 
 Next to numberless were the ailiuciits that flesh, in tim6 
 post, was Unconscious of Veinir "heir to," and of which were 
 furnished diagnosis iind reimdy, l.y :. sf.iiitual inspection of a 
 Itck of hair, and all for the simple turn (»f one dollar I 
 
 Prcscripd'ons inutidatcd the community, from which numer- 
 ous individuals exporiencrd a speedy cure, even before they 
 were themselves uwarc of being diseased. 
 
 Olhcr doctors, less famous could det»-(t diKo-iso when openly 
 palpable, and treat it with t(,]eralle skill/but their pathology 
 and practice being j)f a n;ore . rdinary stoop, their utility was 
 thciefore not generally appreciuteJ nor understood. 
 
 It wa^ an extremely mysterious theory, this 'crinopathy — 
 
 and hcuce more scientiflc and satisfactory — holding as it did 
 
 that all disorders in the huy^an pyJ^tem manifested them«elve8 
 
 fundamentally in the /icrtV, for the reason that the skull was 
 
 — « ,ynipath e tioally affected. — 
 
 te 
 
w 
 
 ^ 
 
 874 
 
 V 
 
 
 ifk 
 
 Lucy BosTow. 
 
 W<f lave often wotTdtft-cd at tho docrocB of rrovidcnce, "out 
 never doubted their justice, olthough often apparently uncquiil. 
 Imagine a poor bahi victim afflicted with a complication of 
 '*ralgie$"~J^** new and old"— yet stripped of the 6nly means 
 or condition necessary to make available the priceless art of 
 the hair-inspcctiog doctoip. 
 
 Although, without positive knowledge on the subject, fto 
 must nevertheless bi)lievo,.that tlie kind-hearted npirita could 
 not sufTcr a follow mortal to drag himself to the close of such 
 a miserable existence, unrelieved, simply because ho happened 
 to be bald-headed. We might, therefore, safely anticipate the 
 adoption of an czpedidut, in behalf of the hairless unfortunates, 
 by awubstitute lock clipped from ihc patient's wfj I J^Jay, reader, 
 with youjTt incr^ulity at this supposition, forjs'it not 
 e«tly JpKrping with the whole history of spiritual devel- 
 opment?* Nor is it unphilosopbicaL Because, spirits say, 
 that all symptoms of disease tend to and locate themselves in 
 the hair. Nonv, syniptoms arc things, II cannot be uupposcd 
 they will inhere and terminate in the barren skin of Che poll^. 
 for they arc ilij/'usirr nud iruil fo hair. Hencfrit is not illog- 
 ical to afllnn, that if ili ry find no hair on the scalp, the place 
 where it ought to glow, uliJ where they might reaMonably ex- 
 pect to find it, they will seek the nearest hair to be found, 
 which being the ki'//, it must as an inevitable consequence be 
 the receptacle of th^ymptoms. 
 
 Impartiality, however, requires u& to state t|jat another 
 Bch'ool, or in reality another branch in the same school^ adopted 
 
 *• ; ■'"■■;«. ■■ . ■ -r- 
 
 * '^Vo Iji no ?«nH»» ftUufV <o arr ilnctrine of the Holy Srripturea, or the out-work- 
 
 Uigiv<o< oitirittuuuty, but tedutioally, fttad exclusively (o ^lodern Splritualiem. 
 
 '■ . - 
 
 m-:- 
 
 
 
 "■•J..- 
 
 •<^ 
 
 
 
 •■ ^Mf 
 
 
 
 :* 
 
.5% 
 
 
 FoLLiii't 
 
 XlXtH Century. 876 
 
 ifTt o|MriiS XIX¥| 
 
 %fih great Bucfils a iJpiwt^ of ^^ nbovo theory. They ' 
 atarted with identical data, bu^caloncd advoraely. Their dl- 
 I agnosia waa the iaroo, thg|prognoJii« totally different. « Wt 
 agree with the hairopat^^ aaid thoy, " that symptom, are 
 things. But there can. « a thing without aubsUnce, nor 
 ^batanoo without gravity j fcpofore, disease ia never aublimated 
 
 in the ap^K, but always pre%*'«^ "^^ ^^« ^"^ ^^ ^^"^ ■^''*"*' 
 from which it follows, conelilvcly, that the terminvt of tfe^— 
 ]yii.ptorah is not the capititpmu, but the ungnit pe<H* foUicU, 
 Ut«t 18 to say, not the hair of Ike cranium, but the nail of the .* 
 grfittoo!" This theory, iuc^ philosophical, marked by^ 
 g.#ter common Bcnsc, and rostilg on a deeper foundation \\i9Xi^ 
 its intagonism, was at once in the ascendant^ speedily acquir- ^^ 
 ing universal celebrity. The public prints carried to every in-^ 
 valii iHho land th6 happy intelligence, that a shaving from. 
 tiro .ail of the great Jjpe, sent by mail, accompanied ji\i\i TWO 
 DOLIJ^BS, po,Uuje paik ! would convey an accurate knowledge 
 of the disease and secure a prescription, which if faithfully fd-. 
 , lowe^ according to directions, would iicvitably work a perma: 
 nent^cure. Great was the deman<^for jack-knives, and^many 
 a poor wife performed secret amputations, cleaving the horny . 
 eubstance to the quick, after the « symptoms," at the imminent , 
 hazard of becoi.m.g a cripple, and the expense of her husband's 
 best razor I ^ .. _ 
 
 But all this was Spiritualism pnly in the bud, and deaaned 
 soon to be succeeded by the flower and the fruit. 
 
 Z. Socrates Nozzleman, the prince of Mediums, and Apo^ ^ 
 ~ tolic Vicar of SpirUdom, though what would be oallod* " f # to , 
 
 • 4 
 
 \ 
 
876 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 ^0 in the world," concluded to turn his hand to physic, not— 
 as will appear — for the sake of gain, hut as a benefactor. 
 
 Among other employments which he had followed for a 
 livelihood, in days gone by, was that of agent for a patent 
 medicine. This professional advantagement furnished him an 
 intimate knowledge of Anatomy and Physiology, which fortu- 
 nately was now brought into play. Having naturally a keen 
 eye in his head, and observing the universal ailihility of man- 
 kind with their hankering after <1 spirituar' potions, in the 
 yeanling of his bowels of pity, he decided on haying & <'run." 
 
 Accordingly, a ^neralmeeting of the " circle " was convened, 
 and having revealed to them many mysterious mysteries, Z. 
 Socrates, with one hand on his breast, and the ctlier thrust to 
 the bottom of his pocket, as if unconsciously feeling for 
 " change," threw back his head, looking the picture of honest 
 sagacity, and said — 
 
 " Listen ye to me. This earthly Sphere is full of three 
 things — folk* — distempers — and quackei-y. Of this big 
 world-hospital, I am superintendent and chief physician, by 
 the ap|>ointment of the spirits. They have conferred upon me 
 the very highest medical degree, with « 'spiritual* diploma, 
 imparting an exact knowledge of all the maladies, actual and 
 possible, both of body and mind, and their only remedies. The 
 appointment is not only merited, but imperative. I am not at 
 liberty to decline it. 
 
 " Therefore, if ye be ailing a( any time, ye must consult me, 
 the physician-in-chief, without delay, and charge everybody to 
 do likewise, lest ye all die. 
 
»» 
 
 f 
 
 FOLLIKS OP THE XIXthCeNTURY 
 
 377 
 
 m 
 
 " Hark ye. Those hairi/ spirits, SfB^ laot medical spirits. 
 They do not doctor right. They rtre quacks, and so arc all 
 others that have manifested themselves. They have killed 
 many. Alopathists drug their patients, hydropathists pickle 
 them, pepperopathists steam them, homeopathists starve them, 
 hairopalhists shave them, and so between salivating, pickling, 
 steaming, starving and shaving, it is bard to calculate whether 
 there be more patients cured than, victims made. Beware I 
 beware I Ye are in danger. I smell the prison febout you ^ 
 now." Whereupon '* those present, supplijid with spiritual 
 medicine — as most of them were— all agreed it 'hurt' them, 
 and at once throwing their ' physic to the dogs,' they changed 
 physicians. / 
 
 The Smeller had evidently struck the scent. Next day 
 in front of his door was displayed, in mammoth characters, the 
 
 following sign : — ' V >^"^ ' ' 
 
 " Z. Socrates Nozzleman, SpiRiTtiJiL M. D., K. Q. X., 
 Olfactory Medium, Physician aniJ Suroeon — by ap- 
 pointment of the Royal Medical College of the Zones. 
 
 " Prescriptions carefully made out, under the direct supervi- 
 sion of the Medical Faculty of the Sevejith Sphere. 
 
 " Consultation hours at all times." 
 
 The eflfect greatly surpassed the professor's most sanguine 
 hopes. The circles, as matter of course, 
 diseased, daily frequented the office of the new Spirit Doctor. 
 His prices for single prescriptions ranged from two dollars to 
 ten, according to the nature of the complaint and con(?i<ton of 
 • the patient — uniformly cash in hand, it 
 
 that he k^t no books. 
 82* 
 
 being well understood 
 
878 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 
 As might be expected, Doctor N at once took the lead 
 
 in his profession, as mediumlyy the Founder aiid CMef Prac- 
 titioner of S0i[itopathy. 
 
 But tinoe pfcened to the final and crowning manifestation of 
 Spiritua^^if ■%'ame blew her bugle over her favorite son. Its 
 notes were ihe knell of Quackdom. Hygeia stretched her 
 scepter over the world. Disease fled away. Death stood 
 aghast! And no marvel, for the subtle olfactories of our great ■ 
 Spiritopathist had ferreted out the fundamental principle, that 
 all disorders in their normal origin and ab-normal process are 
 conditioned and propagated by spiritual wiiasma, which was 
 amply demonstrated by a course of the most nice and t-ati.<fac- 
 tory experiment with his nasal organ, which served the capacity . 
 of a clairvoyant stethoscope, and whose delicate acuteness no 
 essence, however attenuated or occult, could evade. 
 
 The only thing now wanting to secure perpetual longevity 
 to the race, and rob Old Mortality of his dues, was the inven- 
 tion of a universal specific. This was readily furnished by the 
 spiritual pharmacopoeia, and consisted in the quintessence of 
 spiritual orders, sublimated to the point of indivisibility. It 
 may puzzle the reader to imagine how a volatility so infinitely 
 attenuated could be obtained and confined for use. The pro- 
 cess was simple. It was not indigenous, but exotic, a product 
 of the Seventh Sphere. The spirits having expressed and 
 volatilized it by a " spiritual " apparatus, conveyed it by tele- 
 graph to our chief physician, who resolving it by spiritual 
 analysis into two kinds — one for internal, the other for exter- 
 nal application, incfu^ing surgery — confined it in proper 
 quatitities.in miniature phials,"which' phials he scientifically 
 
 
 %. 
 

 Follies OF THE XI^th Century. 370^ 
 
 labeled respectively Min. Nil (Minimua Nihil) and Max. 
 mi (Maximus Nihil) — in plain English, the littlest nothing ' 
 and the biggest nothing. Not by any means that his nostrum 
 was a nonentity J but these terms we're selected, as the best that 
 language affords, to express even an approximate definition of 
 the " Universal Spiritual Catholican arid Elixir of Life." The 
 name of the Spiritual Medicine Man. as Doctor Nozzleman was 
 called, par excellence, was a household word. Such at length 
 became his skill, be had no more than to meet persons on the 
 highway, or pass them at their daily avocations to detect the 
 premonitions of disease lurking in their system, and of which 
 his benevolence would not permit them to go unwarned. As 
 the baromfcter foretokens foul weather, and the galvanic battery 
 Bonds its message on lightning wing, outstripping steam and 
 tempest, to arrest the fugitive assassin or snatch the mariner 
 from coming shipwreck, .so our Smelling Medium snuffing the 
 ubiquitous proximity of the malaria, at almost any distance, 
 transmitted telegraph admonitions in every direction, by whicli 
 mtiltitudes marked for victims were rescued from the stealthy 
 approach of consumption, the irruption of the deadly epidemic 
 and the fatality of accident. 
 
 The celebrity of the great Socrates spread not only through 
 the United States, but across the great winter into distant 
 countries. Business so multiplied, upon bis hands, that by di- 
 roclion of tho .spirits (probably as matter of convenience and 
 economy:) ho cM-ecfcd an Infirmary of immense dimensions and 
 puWisb'ed to the world his readiness to receive patients on the 
 ' most reasonable terms. 
 
 Thousands flocked to the great Spiritual Hospital, all of 
 
880 
 
 Lucy Boston 
 
 whom — save those " doctored to death" by the " old schools," 
 at least, till past the possibility of recovery — were restored 
 and sent home, armed with their spiritual smelling bottles, an 
 occasional snuff of which made them forever impervious to the 
 malaria, and a slight rubbing with the cork was sufficient to 
 cure the rickets orAmend a broken leg. 
 
 The " watering places " of both continents were deserted. 
 Puffemburg — as the new institution was called — became the 
 place of all resort; the Spiritual Mecca, to which valetudina- 
 rians from every quarter, far and near, thronged on pilgrimage 
 after health. 
 
 The " universal Spiritual Catholicon, and < patent' Elixir 
 of Life," swept the field. The age of humbug nostrums was 
 past. Brandvcth, Fitch, Townsend, and all the " craft," with 
 your "extracts,"'" compounds," "magnetics" and /msA, liire- 
 well! Your own "miraculous inventigns" and "infallible 
 remedies" cannot save you*! Good-by quacks! Good-by 
 quackery ! And 
 
 > 
 
 "All maladies, 
 Of ghastly spasm, or racking tortm-e, qualme 
 Of heart-sick agony ; all feverhl/kinds ; 
 Convulsions, epilepsies, fier^catan-hs ; 
 Intestine stone and ulcers ; cholic pangs, 
 Demoniac phrensy, moping melancholy, 
 Marasmus, and wide-Trasting pestilence ; 
 " Dropsies, and asthmas, .ind joint-racking rheums,'* 
 
 with every other ailment, accident or infirmity, incident to 
 mortal flesh, not excepting even old age, gray hairs, spectacles 
 and crutches I — everlasting adieu ! 
 
FoLLiBs o*r THE XIXth Century 
 
 881 
 
 Sceptics ! banish unbelief — Courage I poor bed-ridden ones ! 
 — and leap for joy, O ye cripples ! while you read the following 
 sample of the numberless certificates poured in for the proprietor 
 and professor of Puffemburg, as voluntary offerings from his 
 grateful patients, embracing multitudes of the most dis- ^ 
 tinguishcd personages: 
 
 " De ArbocTOR : — I v»ill be one hundred and ninety-three 
 years old on the first day of April next. For one hundred and 
 one years I ^lave been bed-ridden, and having lost the use of 
 my voluntary powers, I was uual)le to stir, except when moved 
 with a lever. But six weeks ago yesterday, I saw an adver- 
 tisement of your Universal, Spiritual Patent Catholicon. I 
 bought a phial of the '- Minimum Nihil,' smelt of the cork, and 
 found myself a newman. I can now outrun the best locomc 
 live, beat a stum'p^machine at a dead lift, and throw twenty-five 
 
 double somersets without stopping. 
 
 - i< Yours, with heartfelt gratitude, 
 
 , "Peter Puffer. ' 
 
 "P. S. A red flannel cloth rubbed upon a vial of the Max. 
 Nil, and wrapped round a wooden leg, reduces a triple com- 
 pound fracture in just seven minutes, and is now covering the 
 limb with a fresh cuticle of bark. There is the manifestation 
 of a foot and knee joint. Its sensibility increases, and I have 
 no doubt, that in t^rec weeks it will be a perfect leg. 
 
 "You are at liberty to use this testimonial of the miracu- 
 lous power of your Medicine in any manner you choose, for the 
 
 benefit of suffering humanity. ^^ 
 
 Jr. * • 
 
 ■ I. 
 
•vf- ' 
 
 
 882 
 
 L IJ C V I> f > S T O N . 
 
 ■ Z. Socrates, the chief lqiniQf\ry of Spiritualism, was in the 
 ' , zenith of his glory, pot however as a fxcd star, but like all 
 profjrcmbc plants, he had reached his point of culmination. 
 
 Mr. Abner, a man of high public standing, a prominent 
 member of the "circle," and the possessor of a handsome 
 property, in the prime of life and bloom of health, was 
 !> taken suddenly ill, and in spite of the " Patent Catholicon 
 •yi shuffled oflF his mortal coil," and passed to the Spirit-Land. 
 ' He had been a uScful and honored member of society. The 
 anti-spiritual portion of the community afflicted at the prospect 
 of losing so valued a citizen and neighbor, besought the relatives 
 of the victJm to summoh the aid of a regular physician, but 
 in vain". The appeal wis met only with indignity, by the spir- 
 itualized kindred, who hoped " people would not trouble them- 
 selves. The spirits probably understood what they were about 
 and needed no assistance from the quacks." 
 
 Soon after the good man's decease^ our Spiritopathic Medium, 
 in his capacity of Executor, called upon the surviving com- 
 panion and family, to inform them what the spirit of the de- 
 parted wished to have done with the estate. 
 
 "How glad I am, dear Doctor," said thcr cheerful widow, 
 "that you have called upop us in our affliction. Yet it is'nt 
 much after all, seeing we can communicate with him every day." 
 
 " Your husband," said the Medium, "directs me to keep a 
 watchful eye over his estate. My instructions are* to convert 
 . the real and personal property into money, and then he will 
 tell me what tp do with it. t have not the time to devote to 
 this, but respect for my departed friend will not allow me to 
 declinft, "Rnsidfts, T cannot bear to see the property squafldered 
 
 fi 
 ai 
 
 a 
 
 f 
 
 B 
 C 
 
 E 
 < 
 
/ 
 
 Follies op the XIXth Century. 383 
 
 from thee and tliy children. There are notes and outstanding 
 accounts, and money, which I must take for safe keeping, and 
 apportion to thee from time to time as thy husband shall direct." 
 
 The affectionate and obedient widow rejoiced at this mark of 
 friendship, and forthwith the " private secretary" was ran- 
 sacked, the Medium taking possession of all the " convertibles" 
 on the spotj as scile administrator of the deceased. 
 
 The notes and Recounts were collected, at once, and the per- • 
 sohal chattels struck off at auction, the terms of sale being 
 
 casJi. 
 
 Nothing now' remained unadjusted except the real estate, 
 consisting of a fine village house and lot, with farm adjacent, 
 and a tract of western land. This also the deceased ordered 
 his spiritual agent to sell. Af5cordingly he struck a bargain 
 with a certain speculator, to wtom he was to convey title on a 
 given day and receive the purchase-money. 
 
 Punctual at the appointed , time, our Medium administrator 
 appeared with conveyances in hand, duly scaled and signed as 
 
 follows: — • . ,, IN ' 
 
 ■ David Abner (deceased). 
 
 Per Z. Socrates NozzLEMAN, M. D., 
 
 Spiritual Agent. 
 
 This singular autograph We » kind of suspicious -look to 
 the scrutinizing eye of the purchaser, who refused to pay tho 
 money until the seller could produce a power 'of attorney a 
 little more intelligible. 
 
 The Spiritualists were indignant at the incredulity of this 
 suspicious infidel, and assured him that" if he would only meet 
 with them a single evening, it would be demonstrated before 
 
884 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 / 
 
 his eyes, that the great professor Nozzleman was no impostor, 
 but the bona fide agent of the deceased, and acting under his 
 immediate direction aiid control. But the wary speculator 
 stood in fear of a « trap," and the bargain was broken off. 
 
 The widow and her family were not oirfy "sold out" rather 
 close, but kept on short allowance. The Medium, however, 
 declared tljat he disbursed as fast as hisjnstnictions allowed. 
 
 The good wife was satisfied with this assurance, yet could 
 not but think that her husband had grown very economical 
 since becoming an inhabitant of the -Spheres; nor could she 
 ■ conjecture for what he wa» hoarding bis money, but she wi^ply 
 concluded that he knew, and would direct everyth^g^to the 
 best advantage, both for himself and family. '' , 
 
 The sudden death of so estimable and prominent a person a» ^. 
 Mr. Abner, was of course somewhat widely circulated througl|_ 
 the public prints, by which means the melancholy intelligence ^ 
 chanced to reach an absent son, and from whom the family had 
 received frequent spiritual communications^ furnishing conclu- 
 sive e'vidence tljat he had passed to the Zones : in other words, 
 that he was dead. 
 / On learning the decease of his father, Edward (for suchX 
 ' was h/a name), in obedience to the promptings of filial and 
 fraternal affection, hastened home with all practical dispatch. 
 
 Extensive travel, with a close observation of men and things, 
 had made him a competent judge of character. 
 
 To ins relatives, his return occasioned even greater surprise 
 
 than the untimely death of his father. Spiritualism was, of 
 
 ^ course, the first topic introduced to Edward, by the family, 
 
 ^ and on which he expressed his opinion, resp e ctfully and kindly, 
 
FotLiEs OF the'XIXtu Cbntury 
 
 885 
 
 yet in terms bo decided and caustic, os to fiil them with grief, 
 that a fond mother and affectionate sisters should cxpericnco 
 such a greeting from a long nhsent son and brother. 
 
 It was evening when Edward arrived. His mother — as- 
 sistance was unnecessary — prepared him a meal so exceed- 
 ingly coarse and scanty, as justly to excite io him a momentary 
 look of surprise, and observing which,.by way of apology, sho 
 said it was the best his father had afforded them lately, and 
 besides, there was no place in the house for him to lodge, but 
 on the floor, as his father had ordered all the beds and bedding 
 not in actual use to be sold. 
 
 " How came father to be so poor ?" inquired Edward. 
 " 0, he is not poor," answered the mother. " He is worthy 
 twenty thousand dollars, and communicates, to Doctor Z. See 
 rates Nozzleman how to dispose of it." , : 
 
 " Did father leave a will ? " 
 
 " no, my son. His spirit communicates 4aily with out 
 Medium, as his sole administrator and agent. He told th^ 
 Doctor to take the property and turn it into money, and he 
 would then give him directions how to use it. 
 
 "Who is this Doctor Z. Socrates Nozzleman, as you call 
 
 him?" ^ 
 
 " Why ! is it possible you have never heard of him ? He 
 is the Great Smelling Medium', olfactory physician, surgeon, 
 and professor of*l*uffcmburg Hospital, appointed by the spirits 
 themselves. We are to have a circle here to-night, and you 
 can talk with your father just as freely as I do with you." 
 
 " Professor Z. Socrates holds possession of the property, 
 doeshe?" 
 
 S8 
 
 \ 
 
• • 
 
 \v 
 
 886 • LufY HosTOW. 
 
 " YortSfuthcr's spirit told hm to t.ikc it." 
 
 " Ifo^ do you know it did ? " 
 
 « Because tbc Doctor eays so. Besides, father's ppirit tVlls 
 OS the same, and that wc must always look up to bis agent as 
 our guardian and-i)rotcctor. Don'tjou want to sec our Me- 
 dium, Edward? IIo wil! bo bcrc diriBctly." 
 '. «< Guess, you must excuse roc. I will call on some of my 
 old acquaintances this evening. I couldn't very well enjoy 
 your ' circle,' as you tcr«f)it, if I should stay.- — When did 
 f^ShiTtell your Medium to take tbc property?" eaid Edward, 
 
 » 
 
 musingly. 
 
 <' 0, right away after be died, or rather after ho emigrated to 
 the ZoncH, and he tcllS him something about it almost every day." 
 
 " And this is what you call ' ttpin'tnal mnnijntatioMf*'* 
 rejoined Edward, rising to depart. 
 
 Mother and si>ter besought him to remain at the circle, but 
 gently resisting their entreaties, and promisin- to return intho 
 morning, he bade them an affectionate " go',.1 nij:lit." 
 
 Edward sought his old associates, a part of whom, as he was 
 pleased to find, were anti-.«piritualisls, and who made him ac- 
 quainted with the exact position of affairs. 
 
 Edward had"sccn too much of the world, mingle! with and 
 read too many characters, not to fathom this whole. bu.sin( ss . 
 at a glance. To him, Z. Socrates Nozzleman was no enigma. 
 His line of duty was plain; nor did he hesitule promptly to 
 pursue it, but wisely concluded to seek no interview with his/ 
 Spiritualshipj^tiU having first taken proper measures to estab- 
 lish a little higher earthly claim to hia father's estate, than the 
 Medium bad produced from the Spheres. ";; 
 
 -^ 
 
FOLLIEB OF THK >^ I X T It CkNTURY. 887 
 
 Tlio circle, hoadod by ProfosBor Noz/lcman, convened at tlie 
 widow's, and to whom she announced tUo unexpected arrival 
 of her son. ' Tho professor was taken aback by the startling 
 news, lie evidently smelt something " in tho wind," being ex- 
 cccdinply inquisitive as to tho character of her son; his uj^o, 
 intenlions, place of residence, how long he was going to Stay, 
 ct cetera, expressing also undue anxiety to see hihi. 
 
 Learning from tho widow the fact of his rank in6delity,ca 
 
 the score of Spiritualism, tho unlookcd-f6r heir was consc 
 
 quently any thing but a welcome visitor to the ghostly admin- 
 
 ' istrator. Nevertheless, resolving to finish the gami^ by a bold 
 
 throw, ho sought Edward early next morning, and addressed 
 
 him th.uT^. 
 
 " Young man, thy father hath duly appointed me executor 
 
 of his estate. lie doth direct mc from the Spirit-World, to 
 
 pay thee one thousand dollars, and take from thee this recc.p^ 
 
 in full, llcre is thy money, Lay it carefully away, and see 
 
 i that thou makest good use of it." - •/ 
 
 " Please, excuse me, sir," replfcd Edward. "The death of 
 n,y beloved father bears heavily upon me.^^ IfceUoo indisposed. 
 • for the transaction of business just now." 
 
 . " The spirit of thy father order^th me, that if thou refusest 
 to comply, at this present time, never to pay thfee a farthing," 
 said his Mediumship, in a tone of authority. 
 
 « I am in no immediate want of nioney," responded Edward. 
 u Be so good as to allow me time to becomc^a little more set- 
 tied. You shall then have my attention." 
 
 Our Medium deputy was foiled. Sueh coolni^ discomposed 
 
 ~s 
 
 t^ 
 
 
888 
 
 LlCY liuSTrfN, 
 
 bim, and ho departed not a litllo dbruplly, mih nl least no abate 
 mcnt of his uncusinosp. 
 
 Kdward at ohfc lai-l the matter before thcVropcr nutbo.i.i.^ 
 md Z. Socrates N..z/le.uan, Olfact.»ry M.diuni, Spiritual M. D., 
 \ K. Q. X , Profosaor of PuffemburK, and Arch Apostlo of tho 
 '' Spherical., was invited by the sheriff to 'take rooms at tho 
 " 6rV«\ Public Hotel," whero he remained untU the fii';ct fit- 
 tins of ttlc Supremo Court, when his spiritual«hip received an 
 appointment in tho State Prison' Pepartu.cut for the term of 
 ten years. Necessity, stern and inexorable, compelled him to 
 resign his executorial office with large emoluments into tho 
 hands of Edward, who was thereupon duly appointed ujateriftl- 
 ttdujinistrator of his father's estate. 
 
 Wo omitted to note the opportune arrival of tho sheriff, a 
 circuipstance not only fortuitous but fortunate, as Z. SocratoP, 
 BmcUing so strongly something "in the wind," was preparing 
 to take his departure, the coming bight, for parts unknown, 
 but he was a day too late. For once swift-footed justice got 
 the start of his guardian spirit and cut off his escape. 
 
 The spirits had failed him. Ho would have resorted to the 
 more reliable intervention of his own legs for an alibi, but ma- 
 terialism in the shape of iron fetters rendered it impracticable. 
 
 The Spiritists, put thus to their trumps, concentrated their 
 entire forces, and making a final rally, as the forlorn hope, in- 
 voked all Spheredom for assistance, in this their last extremity, 
 but not a ghost came to the rescue. 
 
 On receiving sentence, the illustrioulB convict elevating hia 
 nasal organ, gave one tremendous snuff, and said, . 
 
 I' 
 
 i^i 
 
 *«,. 
 

 
 tV 
 
 38(^ 
 
 Sf' 
 
 «t' 
 
 « I smell tlmt SpiVUflalihin is ii ntigUty big FIZZLE I " 
 This waa tho final cxtinK«iHlar. Funglol.ead had gone vp t 
 Nozzlemanwont./on-H.' Tho circkHdi»ba«»dcd. Many of iho ' 
 more prominent me.nbcv« lun-hd in tho Mud-IIouso, olhm in . 
 tho Poor-llou.c, tho bulanco dcclarin- they " never believed in 
 it^ but only attended to Beb' what fools folks could make of 
 thomJ«clvns when they set out." 
 
 Puffcmburg wa. deserted. xNows of tho grand finale of this 
 comico-tragcdy flew on electric wings over both, continents. 
 The Spheres dcharmonized and detached from Earth, forsook 
 their orbits, and wheeled away into tho boundless void of an- 
 nihilation, leaving our mundane orb to grind on as before I 
 Thus ended Spiritualism at its fountain hSad. 
 We understand that a few ^mallet IvjhU are yet practicing 
 It, as tho dying echo of an exploded humUg. 
 
 33* 
 
 ^ 
 
 ~r' 
 
 *%f' 
 
 .1 
 
 e-' 
 
 #- 
 
 ■ft, .^ 
 
 / 
 
 
CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 «ML.plarcd-ln awrong po.itioti- placed in an inpongruous .ituatlon-oqt of 
 on98prop«r8phere." — ^Vwi't "'«''''<"'• - • 
 
 THE representatives of the lady democracy of the Empire 
 State were now carrying matters with a high feather at 
 the capitol, aping othcr.legislativc bodies in the modifying, ab- 
 rogation,and enactment of laws, respectively .agreeable to their 
 an^bition, their pocitets and their whims, and all under pretense 
 of serving the .best interests of their constituents. 
 
 The early part of t)ie session had been marked by much 
 confusion, and almost the entire absence of any thing like leg- 
 islative order and decorum. Personal abuse, and private scan- 
 . dal, bills legitimate and illegitimate ♦-. speeches long and short 
 and on all conxicivablc subjects, save the one before the house, 
 Tvere the order— o.r more strictly speaking the disorder — of 
 the day, and threatening to gender abortive the object for 
 which that body of congregated wisdom had assembled in 
 
 council. ' 
 
 But while a majority of our lady rulers determined to rely 
 solely upon their own resources, and as far as in them lay denied 
 to the male sex any share or influence in public affairs, a few 
 ^ (390) 
 
 % 
 
.,^^,^i..:.,;^..~.,^,-,-r 
 
 % 
 
 Follies of tuk 
 
 XIXtu-Cestuuv 
 
 391 
 
 of profiting byHhe ex- 
 
 of the more sensible savr the ncccs.it, 
 pericneeanaaavice^of^^^^^ 
 
 ^^^^^y^^^Z^on a new code of ruWTor 
 in private, and under ^ -- ^ rented 
 
 «lly grew ou ^ parliamentary propriety. , 
 
 Eunic, in some degree, the aspcci op 
 ' ^ ' ^^r,.'h'A ineonf^ruous and not casiiy uu 
 
 Yet cue anomaly, some^h.t mcon^ru _ 
 
 _ _„ , , .„,T 4i,i» a-iilv business 01 tno scssiuu. 
 
 many of them mothers. ♦« v^n Rure were 
 
 1 1 orfif.ide for the business. 
 '"«!!!. 1.0, bo... aged a„a pvofouna, that g..at ceca- 
 15„t ,t ., an e , notwitUstanding tho re- 
 
 n ;riC " fatWs of the co™.o„weaUh i. 
 marltabk i.ioiKi.tiry ^ difficulty ro- 
 
 „ ., t;,,i, „cw Mid itttcrcsfmg occupation, one d.mcu y 
 
 tbar ue jj.^ee nor their ingenuity eould 
 
 „,,i„cd, -'-'' -''^=; ; fj,.„, „„„, ,„, mothers eouid .up- 
 
 ' •l'*!y,- J 
 
d93 
 
 LU-CT BoSTOIf. 
 
 \ 
 
 -*■■ 
 
 maternal breast that nutriment vrithout trbich nil governments 
 whether ma\6 or female, vrould cease to exist. 
 
 vPuring these juvenile repasts the chambers were necessarily 
 thrown open to the ingress of the masculine nurses, when tho^ 
 male loungers of tho galleries and lobbies seized the opportunity 
 of paying their respects to the " powers that be." It was usu- 
 ally (he hour of confusion let loose. 
 
 Talking; laughing, flirting of dandies in petticoats, with co- 
 quettes in pantaloons, squalling of infantiles, and scoldpg of 
 mothers, together with sundry lectures to husbands oh their 
 behavior, presented to the impartial observer a scene which 
 lacked something of that dignity for which wc have been ac- 
 customed to look in the representative wisdom of a great and 
 enlightened state. , - 
 
 ) We have omitted to mention the fact thata^hange of dress, 
 especially %iong the females, had now become nearly universal. 
 There remained howler a small minority, conservatives of 
 their day and generation, who still clung to the habiliments of 
 their mothers. ^^ 
 
 Not so the men, but two ^classes of whom had adopted the 
 female costume. The first from compulsion,by the force either 
 of curtain' lectures or the broomstick ; the other, under the (to 
 them) equally compulsory influence of the law df fashion, the 
 latter class consisting mainly of thedandy and coxcomb. Many 
 a brainless exquisite promenaded the streets rigged out in all 
 the finery of the female habit of twenty years ago,* or the 
 
 • The retder must b«r Inmlnd that we an dMling with erentaipaii twcntyyem 
 to tdtance of the preMOt. 
 
■/ 
 
 Follies op the 
 
 XIXtu Century. 893 
 
 daj3 of basque., fiounccs, llowiDg bishops, 8Caye„ger slhts, 
 ami boniwIs-iu-tUc-tcar. . 
 
 Strictly spcaliing, those wcvo not cobverts to tlje doetnnc of 
 " woman's rights," but merely converts to fashion. Almighty 
 fashion ! fit concomitant of the follies of the nineteenth qcn- 
 tary and to whose capricious dieiatos, not only the dandy, but 
 _ if professor Rorson may be credited, fdr integrity of poette de- 
 scription ^ even BeeUebub himsel^^^ders allegiance, 
 
 The politicians of the dj>y to a fan --woman we should 
 have said - adopted tbo costume which in by-gone times tad 
 bpen considered tbo e.elusive property of the».le sc. but . 
 many of the younger class, with true female tenacity,, st.ll ad- _, 
 hered to some of tto fashions of the past age. For instance, . 
 with those who considered themselves the ton, that tasteful ad-.^ 
 dition to the female form, the " bustle," was still a.i« Qua ,.o». _ .- 
 
 On the first introduction of this style of dress it came to bo 
 a serious question with connoisseurs, whether the arfcle .n- , 
 ceased or diminished the grace and dignity of the mascuhoo, ^ 
 costume. We know not as it has ever been defined what Ho- 
 garth meant by his "Line of Beauty," and wbtle that qnes- 
 tion is mooted, some »ight be disposed to eto the hump on 
 the back of the camel and buffalo, or even the "human form 
 divine," with the style of beauty and sublimity 60 much ad- , 
 mired in the bold outline of mouotaifrscenery. At all events, 
 though neither tailor nor mantua-maker, yet pretending to sonae 
 taste in these matters, ,e look upon it as the perfec^Uon^ the . 
 .■true sublime" and beautiful in female adornments. V 
 
 Suppose, reader, a lady wearing a close-fitting dress wt, « 
 ■ to Grimes, ».n buttoned do«n>fore," -but iVa(«r« » noj . 
 
 1: 
 
 ~i — ■ — *r^ 
 
 ^ 
 
 :/': 
 
 V' 
 
V 
 
 894 
 
 Lucy BosTdN 
 
 ■«► , •'■ 
 
 K' .♦ for criticism. Behold the reverse of the figure. 
 
 ;. lit - »he»ce .l,e coat stand, boldly off at an angle of 
 Buslle . » ne pt„ cction tho 
 
 some forty degrees; wli>lc ftom ""o "'6'- 
 lapcls fall gracofally, and like streamers , 
 
 ..WaTC in tho west ;Yind3 summer jBiglis, ., 
 
 ^.iIaU„th.t.rleal, not empty Action n^. V^'^^^T^^ 
 ' Hnn hut siint)lv a record of facts. Hence ^e di^claimea 
 
 tn^n of^h« -..^., .-a .alt^tlon of tl.e ^'^^J^ ^ 
 
 meel=,«s a blessin^ror otherwise, .e '-« -'^""'"P;';™ 
 ;L oj&ion; nor ar;«e about to deviate froA. the d.reet hno 
 
 of our narrative. / . s. ^ «p 
 
 - Our female legislators 5^ere very mueb annoyed m sotoe of 
 , J; Sinjby lobby importunities and out-door .nSuonee^ 
 Sirituallsts of eitber ae,; a.are of the in^porUnt se^, . 
 , rendered by tbeir order in elevating to p,.er tbe dom.n 
 ■ party, were especially clamorous for their reward and w th the 
 ;:^arselflial of political paras-^s claimed the Uon's^e 
 
 of the " spoils." In fact, so numerous were tbe apphcatts. f 
 
 his class, that all the offices in tb* gift of the Execnt.ve or t,,e 
 
 . Le..islat«reVere as inadequate t9U>eir demands as would be 
 
 •thr- five loaves and the two smffl fishes "-w.thout the m.r- 
 
 „„,„ -to supply the beleaguering a^ies of Sevastopol. 
 
 I A few were well, rew.rde.d-. Judge Addlehead J« a ^e,om. , 
 
 pens, for services rendered and i».=Pn.plin.«.t to h,sl.^ legj. 
 Lt«im^nta.in spiritual jurisprudence, was placed at the bead of 
 
 —^ * = -. 
 
 V-\ 
 
 ;'■' >k 
 
Follies of thA 
 
 XIX Til Century, 895 
 
 »• 
 
 .!,„ iudioiarv (Sovernor Longnat, mads Secretary of Slate, ' 
 l'S::a«eppom.a,a— „..W„e.W^^^^^ 
 the Spheres. - Jobnson I^viJ Anderson «as appo.n.ed Pres.! nt 
 
 f a st tnal Colkge.a.ready in auece.ful operation ; and Fdhp 
 
 W d' o« professor of Oratory in the san.e. Professor Kre^.y- 
 
 Tu« le inteudent of Negro Affairs. His talented ..fc was- 
 
 ::: mission to ..Boora-Boora.Gha;-.hileone of. >ern.^. 
 
 r„ti,nate friends and pron,i.„g pupiU ^ -^^J^f^^" 
 sented .ith a situation in the Lunat.e Asy un. bets^y Hoax 
 T „. V,« was sent Embassadrcss to tl.e Queen of Lgjpl. 
 SeS ni:Keddish.D.D..«asn.ade.Cardinaiian^ 
 H:lb.e Lueinda Hardhead, superintendent of the es.ahUsU- 
 n,ent for supplying the army «itl>breeehes! , ^ ^^_. 
 
 Aside from t;he clamor fur ofiiee, asbefore .nt.mated.,astng 
 
 outdeand lobW dictation .» at .ork to control or ^ 
 r iivo-action Assiat^din a forn.er^r,newWshad 
 
 ■ t; ^acted on the subject of marriagSTW great cbange, 
 been eoai^tc radicalism 
 cffected'in the relative position. of the sexes, DUL 
 
 , ;ta« great pontiea, -«'f ^) J^ 'Xp^ I 
 
 ■ ' the t)olvgam St school — were urginouic y, *= . , ^ 
 
 Ltmcnaplurality of husbands, the numWtobeo^^ 
 
 liLd by the ability of Ibe lady to supP»'» *«»•. «" 7, 
 - Zfhand, hecatombs of petitions, .itbfj{longsos,gnatu.^ 
 
 r Id hetables of- thehouse, "humblypraying" tholeg>sIa. 
 "tr^U »; human enactments oi.he subjee^ of m^- 
 
 :,!:rn^::^M^::™-'^>-^ 
 
 Lunate individuals .ho ha* been matched tn the Zpne.. 
 
 « ff 
 
 '■%■' 
 
 ._jlfc M^: 
 
 
» ■;■ . 
 
 - / 
 
 -/. \ 
 
 1 
 
 jJ90 
 
 Lucy' Boston: 
 
 '. . , • „ " nr wlnt the rrnfano (Icnominato 
 
 In short, '^'sbiiitual marmgc, or what mc pr 
 
 „o. o„l, .;icr»ted, but bocami a» common «.,.cH . a cbango f . 
 ™ in-a country a„„ce -had a large n„n,bcr of advoeatos 
 
 lo„ga.fema.».-.eJrcpubUc.,.»,".ndHieKno.-Not.,„g™ 
 woufv years ago, threatened for a time to earry all before -t. . 
 ' filCor Bo;;, .Ub »o.e.f ber .ore -;"-" " 
 ■^d «t.bed tbe progress of the revolution ..th not a tt 
 trepidation. Seriously alarmed at the tbreatemng aspect of 
 llieal affairs, .hoy began to fear, lest in tbeir .eal forrefo™ 
 L bad raised a spirit wbieb it .ould be extremely d.Be^lt 
 Itbemtoiby. Governor Boston, espeeially. (- -torn .e, 
 ■;L tfe^eader has diseoverod symptoms of sound eom«,on . 
 Jse in spite of her ultraism in some respects), ^asbeeommg, 
 r^easu^se^pticalontbesubjectof tbeso^alledModern^^ 
 form TheitinerantleeWrhadfirstledtertobehevcandthen 
 tloubt The career of Funglebead and Nobleman confirmed 
 herin the belief, that although Spiritualism »ight possesssome 
 g^ilsof truth, yet they .ere buried and lost beneath meun-, 
 
 tftins of iiD posture. ,/ ,, 
 
 The doctrine of polygamy wa. espeeirily rep»gn«.t •« aU 
 her ideas of propriety, and the practical terieocy of - sp.n^ua 
 
 marriage" .was too demoralizing to meet her .pprobafonfer a 
 Tme;. , At this time, hov^ever, the "tide in the afiWsof 
 ' ,„men" was at it, flood, and b6th these rseasures passed, 
 ,ith several othe« equally wise and equally expedient _ 
 
 ■ "But W "M^^" -P"-''"'^ '■"^'T "^ ve^ and 
 the session finally closed, having done little, rf any th.ng of 
 ■ Mport«.ce, except what is recorded in a previous chapte.. 
 
 \ 
 
- -i^-:! f^^^g^, ■" 
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 "."■•.,- ■■■*.,. 
 
 , X « AlTf weU tb»t ends well. 
 
 mHE Le-siaturo .tad Us eycBtfal session, and the mem- 
 
 wtom were generally weleomed by their o«n sex, «.th well 
 
 lone gl>d and Jtbfu, sonants.." There «»- .''««^;' J 
 I'eTass of fen-ales* refused their afprobat-^ 
 
 Ir this withholding (rom- their repres^n.aUves the.r meed 
 ,T , . „ndrin<. disposition or degeneracy from 
 
 of praise" argned a grudging aup „i,„.h<.r it was 
 
 .1,,. trne .pint of independenee and patr.ot.sm, whether .t w 
 t w t" f an.hition L the result of .i. r.flecUon on^ « - 
 :::r<.«»o.- *« - n.i.ing wi.h polices," we leave for the 
 
 'tus';— Boston re,uained s.eadfastlyat the E.eeutiro 
 
 M 1 If »cre the ineu.nhent .0 '-lock up the house" and 
 
 t?elJ Ine political burglar might gain entrance and 
 
 i^rtdSrth! Chair ofS.ate.a*o.s.ituted sue. 
 
 The W-f erea,ion. with becoming ^^f'^^ ':^ 
 
 among the " ftrong niiuded (^itb wpom 
 
 34 ' ^*^'-' 
 
 4"^ 
 
 ■ V.'- 
 
'I. ■ 
 
 
 
 898 1''^'^'' Boston. - ^ 
 
 ^„,, ro,pocted fcm,lo rcador), tl,o cry «», " H—h for WO- 
 „,an-« Pigh., «nJ the downfall of n>ao power / . 
 
 The wUcclsof Time, whirling oaward.lhe B.,ghty r. m ot 
 events nearcd the goal of fate. Man, «. »«", t»-o1 '" ''- 
 hold for the last ti,ne the setting sun. when the ^^^^ 
 „„ doubt horn sympathy with hi, kind, eover.ng h.n.c f .o^- 
 saekcloth of indigo, hid his.face and retired to h,s,sccret ch,.. - 
 be. Not so his, Queen. As/ if e.lcbrating her aecess.on to 
 .he throne, her 3fajes.y, W»d in robes of silver w,.h he 
 eoUHly re.inuc, paraded u/aod down her -J" ;»"'»°' '""^ 
 with glowing astrals, and feed all night to the mus.e of he . 
 SpheL," Mceh-eyed f rn.hrew by her .e, and looke 
 iLj,,.. I'n<ebu,,^f l>rin,o Ministers and Lord U.gh 
 Chalcrlains in gcner^ possessing a self.adjusfng power of , 
 adaptation to an, dominant form of government, old or new, 
 >,.e„dering allegiuneo to the new -eroign-y.-appc-l". 
 i^rgeous splendor, and with the utmost suav,.y shed h,s gol- 
 d,..^«.iles.upon the inaugural of the new fomm.ne dynasty. 
 
 Behold J>ow the m.gic metaraorphosi, in the trmmph of 
 <' woman'a rights," ^ 
 
 , Tl,oma<:p..p"l»'i™ »f the Empire State, hke good, kw- 
 - abiding citizens, arose with the sun, pu, on the pcttK-oats. and 
 oni^iS-VW«l'e<"-f"' alac.+ty up.m their domesHe dulies. lo 
 A.ost of the new «-..«<s, it «s a somewhat awkward ^ 
 ,,os., .0 be sure, bu, .he hone-t souls did as well as hey kn..*" 
 bow, and who euuld reasonably be required to do be.,, r 
 'n.erefore, fair reader, -lo not laugh, if they.,did act clon.dy 
 • and make an ooeasionul blunder. They merit your p.y, po. 
 ^onr .blieule, f..r »i.h .h^.r hou.e-ke .. ping bagan . 1 . ih .r 
 
 i ■ 
 
 1 \= 
 
 C 
 t 
 
 ^ 
 
Follies o 
 
 F TUB XIXth 
 
 (! K N T u n T 
 
 809 
 
 
 ■\y>>\ 
 
 1 
 
 
 cares and ibcir triuk, ««rcs mi triaU oamcrous aod «oro enough 
 t<* make then «Uh a dozen times a diy Uu.t they ■' had never 
 got married." For instance, on the very first n.ornmg «hen 
 L husbands awoko their wives (now tho legal head) and 
 brothers .heir sisters, ordering them to " get np a«d make a 
 liro-and " put over the tea-kettle," instead of eomply.ng w.tl , 
 the reasonable eommand, they but half-opened their eyes, and 
 instantly fell into a sound sleep again, stubbornly refus.ng to 
 lose their morning nap : and so .ho hapless men servant, were 
 left to undergo tho hardship of kindling the.r own fires and 
 putting on their own tea-kettles. They might have dogg d y 
 resolved to lie still and starve, rather than brook the cruelty, 
 but willing to bear almost any thi.g for tho sake of peace m 
 the family, they arose wit'., resignation, struck their ^wn fires, 
 „nd prepared the mormng meal, the women meanwh.lc enjoy- 
 i„. their " Hohl " of sleeping till caltcil to breakfast. 
 That breakfast! But 'tis not marvelous if in too many m- 
 „ance, the coffee «os unsettled , the steak raw or roasted to 
 eri^Pi the potatoes smoked, the cakes half dough, or .>one 
 uX '1- P-^iding house-keeper besmeared with soot, greeco 
 d>t,er,wi,h a c,„a„.i.y of rags bound upon h.s. scalded 
 Zi^.'n^'^c.l.n. and carpet soaked where the platter hap- 
 „„cd,olandh...t.,n upwards;the children half dressed and 
 Lwashed, crying for something to eat; the -men spur^nd 
 crabbed for h^-ing kept frou. their ^'^^-^;^^^;^ 
 ever" for breakfast, and declaring when they d.d got .t that 
 WIS not " fit for catniibnh." 
 
 Ind »>.• breakf.-t '. But ,e will not follow .H " masters 
 ofr.mlsion"ups.airsanddown,tow...htheir^ovement. 
 
400 
 
 Lucy B'ostoN. 
 
 V 
 
 -<<- 
 
 i„ .U tbc v.riou,d.partn.en.. of l.o««=-h«»b.ndry, >n chamU. 
 V^Tli nu^orj. It ■» cno-gh to ..y, il-t tbe, .oro-un - 
 florl, " «.K>a keepers at home." inWious, ceonom, M. 
 
 U lo ^-utiie of do,»o.,d .eo«om, thoAoro pa»ab. a„ 
 terou, though in nothing did they .o rnuoh- »co., » m th. 
 „ts of «M.«r.., ./«;;;•«.*. and pa'lr!,- • 
 
 But from within let «, look out of ^^"■/'''^'''^^T 
 had volunteered various direetory iten,, in rclafon to tho> 
 laffairs the centlcmen eould hardly do to than recpro- . 
 
 r .s„?r Accordingly the f»™«;»" *-;;::,: 
 
 find the horses, and oxen, and harness, and yokes, and arts . 
 1 ehains, and plows, and hoes, and ^^o'eK "u'i ^^^^ 
 and axes, and seythes ^e., ^^ .^^^ : , tsLl p.- ' 
 better be "chopped ""*=-«'' J, -*'_.h„t the sUll, 
 gramme of planting, sowng « ^ <- ^^'^^ „„,, „, . 
 
 . "" ^'^r'ToTlS ns" ,ood and Ler must 
 
 :r hldTXoli^^^U. ^.^'.'".V-'' ''tv^'" 
 
 bo furnisnea 6 suckled," and churning 
 
 the cows must be milked, mc t«iv 
 
 doncin good time. . 
 
 The various artificers said to them dryly, 
 
 ..You will find the tools™ the shop," accompanying .l«_jn.. 
 
 telli^nce with sapient suggestions in the line Pf -'"^'f "2 
 : „;nec.ed with their respeetive^des ; «»^ P^'"-^^*; 
 iwarthy sons of Vulean and Tu^tCin. with br.w"J "-- 
 : "LI their niir successors to thelorge, and ga.e rt»m .^ 
 benefit ot sundry valuable hints in the scence and «t of met- 
 
 -rh- 
 
 • T' 
 
/' 
 
 FOLLIKR OF THK XlXXil CKNTURY 
 
 401 
 
 ^ Merchant-, " business meu" of overy cla«, and male in. 
 oumbcnts of public office delivered up the keys. .The eventful 
 period had come ind poBsed. ^Vomau was in power. Behold 
 
 the scene I ■ . , .„. _ 
 
 Banks, .tote,, oiScos, .hops, aU.olosed, »v<. the mdlm.. 
 
 shops, »hi«h .a the, now bolo.g«l to the proviuce of the me., 
 
 .ere promptly attended to, and a BrUk trade driven m be ou^ 
 
 fit of the new «/«*•«""«-." «''» '" """" 5^°" ^"^T^. 
 di anery, tea*>d their wives for money, and when domed, i^ 
 not hesitate to run thorn into deht. The «>«nd of the a»«^ 
 ,„d the elatter of maehinery was h»hed. The plow st^odsUll 
 i„ the furrow. Trees felled by the hand of man remaned en- 
 tiro in the forest. Canals and railroads ee«ied the.r tunoUon.. 
 Boats, laden and empty, lay along the tow-path. desUtut. of* 
 • helmsman, the hor«>s standing in the harness -^^^^'"":, 
 The loeomotives in tlS^gino-houses were not "fired up, 
 1 tho«> npoi the traek, deserted by the engineers, whutH 
 Aolted the eourse.," and stood motionless and »lent, br»gmg 
 the tide of travel suddenly to » dead stand-stiU, and leavrng 
 sundry passenger as well as freight trains midway between s^ 
 ^ tions-the telegraphie wires were »neomm»n.eat.,e-th». , 
 «,ago eoaches, with passenger and mail-bags, ^tood'seatU^d 
 
 „,oog the Ites, iust where the >!..< «/ AprU ««''-\»'«» 
 -the stimboats^ silent at the wharves, the sh.pp.ng m the 
 
 harbors without a saV on board -and, as if Nature's sympa- _^ 
 theUe eord wore toucU not a breath of air ruffled the glas^, 
 surfaee of the water, while the eanvass elung to the sp«s of 
 the vessels,., if either in downright burle«iue, "^ ^<^°-^ 
 the seheme of their se,, and to-be in the fa,h.on, they too h«l 
 ■ .' ' — ' 34* ■ ^ ^ 
 
 s ■■■< 
 \ 
 
 i. 
 
 

 
 -s%;. 
 
 402 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 
 I 
 
 flowed through its veins and artcncs. w*i| „*. ^ 
 
 * ot^y .Lc signed everywhere broken only 1^» - 
 riiuou. eLuring, «n.oro«. aiUio,, .nd merrjr uu^ t r o^f b 
 In.-«., turned into .trango d«»nance y tUe « W » 
 \l^nf the hun«yanim»U from the stall* .nd styca. Po« 
 rj; Itrit have perished of starvation . had not to 
 Vtchen-men, from motives of hu».n.ty^occa..o„ally m sly 
 „y atunded to their, anu^^ ^^^^^^^ 
 
 The "Btrone-mindcd were cvmcui j , ^ 
 
 Th!yJ»ot Lueipated such a prceoneerted « master^ .- 
 
 ti,^. on the part of the male popnlation .n rospeot to bus,- 
 
 Zr "domesUos" to aoeompany and assist them .n thj^v - 
 ^employments, and hear them decline on aeeonnt ,f prcs.^ 
 
 . ine household carea/' • - , . - 
 
 \, .servants" also received fre,««it appl.cat,on from 
 .heir mistresses to cchange places, but, with .he exeept.on of 
 
 • Hand there a « donghfaee," they uniform^ '^"^'f'^T 
 gTund that it w- .ncons,U.,io«al, and they v..shed to bo 
 
 -j«cerf.lO, law^hitog sul^ccts^^^ ^.__ g^-^^ 
 
 L How different the state of things w tmn _ 
 
 ' ...„.otop.r-~.> redelightod with their transmigration. Al 
 
 housolteepors were — & - • Thev made every thing mote, 
 
 was lite, activity and merriment. They maae eve y 6 
 

 - " 1-% 
 
 -^' 
 
 Follies oi' tub 
 
 XIXtii Ckntury" 408 
 
 If not la .11 in.t.nco,, lik. " clc^k-work." Ui» true, ,l,«y i«.t 
 with more "kiok»" tb.n complimont., c.pc<=mlly for tho.r cu- 
 lin.r,porfo™.noc., but with abuuduDt good n»turo,eonolud>ng 
 
 .haube only way w.. .o " IWo and learn," tboy would " buny 
 the work out of tho way," and, ordering up tbo carriage, tako a 
 rido, or in tho good old-faahioncd atyle, with aow.ng and km^ 
 ting work in hand, run together and enjoy tbe.r tea-party eb.^ 
 
 Tho erisia bad eon-e. Tb. gmnd problem of " ^ma^' 
 right." waa «.lvod in a u«i.er»al "sma^b-up." to speak m the 
 vernacular of this ateam and ligUtning age. \ .. . 
 
 The Ship of State, remodeled and new-rigged with sueh 
 dispateh, launched .o triumphantly, and without ballast, chart, 
 
 canvass, dashing through foam and spray, among ™eks,^».| 
 
 €' 
 
 % 
 
 ■k 
 
 \ 
 
 canvass, uuaM»»5 «•- — o - . . .■- 
 
 sands and whirlpools, on tho sea of £.pmme„,, bad qu.oWy 
 foundered and gone to pieces amid darkness and tempest. 
 From every quarter went up the cry for help. 
 
 All eyes were turned imploringly towards the Governor, who 
 aaw and appreeiated the fatal catastrophe. Petitions the most 
 importunate poured in upon her from her sex, to assemble the 
 JgisUtture without delay, that something might be done for 
 woman's »ro»ff., as they were absolutely intolerable 
 
 G„at anxiety was manifested b, the female "^^ueney »' 
 the "rural districts" ia particular, that relief migbtbe afforded 
 
 in time for « spring's work " to be done. v ^ 
 
 This public expression was too strong to bo resisted, even 
 
 itad the Executivess been disposed to tread in the footsteps of 
 
 eundr, of her illustrious -predecessors, and throw the peUtions 
 
 » under the table." Aooordingly the Legislature was speedily 
 
 
 r^J 
 
 
404 
 
 Lucy Boston. 
 
 convened in special Be|3ion. Every member appeared ; with 
 swarms of "lobbies" and spectators, among whom was our 
 
 joUv friend Wilson. "^ 
 
 Gove^or Boston appeared in person before the Couneil of 
 State, and with deep mortification listened to the tale of folly, 
 shame and disaster. Her eyes, and those of her sex, were 
 opened. They recognized and had the frankness to acknowl- 
 edge their splendid-failure, and that they wer^ entirely. out of 
 their place. For the most part the feminines could not, nor 
 did they attempt to blame any but themselves and their sex, 
 ■ for they had revolutionized the government,, and passed their 
 own laws, and the men had submissively obeyed^em. 
 
 Governess Boston, in person, presented a verbal message, 
 deploring the public and private calamity induced by fanatacism, 
 mixed with ambition for notoriety, and recommending the im- 
 mediate abrogi^tion of the New Dispensation, restoring thmgs 
 - --:- former basis-and thaMee^rdlngly her sex resign 
 
 Sphere and resume the duties 
 
 v;iiij#*»j "-.- designed. - 
 
 ^^recommendation was as wisely adopted, her Excel- 
 lency forthwith setting the example. # 
 
 The Restoration was accomplished. Man was in power 
 
 again. 
 
 am. 
 
 Thus ended "Womau'e Rii,hU," like its great cotemporary, 
 SpirimI!m,U^ the language of the Ulustrious Z. Soerates, a 
 " mighty big /tMmtuf/." , - 
 
 On the steps of the Capitol, Wilson and Ex,Governor 
 
 hvCY recognized each other «ith*,*»rdW shake of the hand. 
 
 "Miss Boston," Said our landlord, iyhis own peculiar war, 
 
 I 
 
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 F O li LI E S OF THE X I X T II (J E N T U 11 Y . 405 
 
 " I understood you to say that you desired to inovo'^ri the 
 Sphere and attend to the duties for which you were designed." 
 " Certainly I do, sir." , 
 
 " Were you designed to become Mrs. Wilson, think you V 
 "Possibly — if that is the design of 3/r. TFiVaon." <• 
 They were arm in arm. The Chaplain still present, there in 
 the Capitol, amid the brilliant concourse of dignitaries, she 
 who, but a few moments before, was the Chief Magistrate of 
 the Empire State, had suddenly emigrated to the State of Mat- 
 rimony, and osccmliufj from the gubernatorial chair of political 
 empire," as wife and help-meat of one in heart and soul worthy 
 of her noble self, was inaugurated Governess of the domestic 
 circle k» a village boarding-house, according to design. 
 
 The following morning found them on their homeward jour- 
 ney.' ItwiVilson's absence, Amaziah applied to Miss Ilager to 
 '<fit.him(a dress." During the procc.si=i, the lucky thought 
 struck him of having a mantua-maker of his own, and to which 
 Missll--^f— htid not ^^ the Icasf ohjcetion in this icorld.'' 
 
 Our landlord and landlady, on their arrival, found Mr. and 
 Mrsl Badger cosily located as their boarders,, and occupying the 
 quondam haunted chamber. The surprise was mutual. 
 
 At the point where we drtp the ihrcnd of our narrative, 
 they were gliding down the stream of life, prosperously and 
 
 pleasantly. 
 
 The:Mermaid, foiled in her " filibuster" expedition, retired 
 to her ocean home, a confirmed misanthrope, beholding her 
 sex re-enslaved, yet rejoicing in her own freedom as she reveled 
 through the gem-lit halls of her coral palace and roamed the 
 azure fields, on the back of her duli>hiu steed, or lay 
 
 .i* 
 
 
 ■asr^^i — - atevtt^gg' 
 
""T^ 
 
 y^' 
 
 
 406 Lucy Boston. 
 
 " Along the scoop'd side of the hollow yraxe, 
 Singing dulcet musio, to the amorous gales.^ » 
 
 Lucy— tow Mrs. Wilson — had laid by her « bloomer," 
 an4 sought no further communication ^ith her amphibious 
 ^(iquaintance. The editor's wife was WWP^ ^^^'^^r at the 
 boarding-house, but not to boirow th^PS^^aper." They 
 . occasionally looked back and et joyed a'hearty laugh over the 
 memorable " campaign," Wilslpn remaining foremost in the 
 
 "ranks of fun." j 
 
 Our editor continued to publish the National Bulletin. The 
 issue, following the denouement of the above-mentioned par- 
 ties, heralded their marriages, accompanied by ope of its racy 
 editorials, ^nd which closed with t^following laconic epitaph : 
 
 ►miTU^i 
 
 SP 
 
 SM 
 
 AND 
 
 WOMAN'S RIGHTS! 
 
 Twins in their birth and ill begot ; 
 Twins in their graye— there let 'em rot. 
 
 Note. — Since writing tlic foregoing pages, wc chanced to light upon 
 n volume composed by Judge Edmonil^ and Doctor Dexter, entitled 
 " Spiritualism ;" and which is such a transcendently succpfsful bur- 
 lesque, that had wemot it earlier, we should not Viiiv<> had tlie self- 
 assurance, not to say hardihood, as to think of introducing Lucy IJoston 
 aa a rival. And even now, were it not for positiye engngemcnts, wo 
 bhoMld (l.ein itUc part of prudent discretion to retire from the field. 
 
 \ 
 
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 !ld." 
 
 rpTH ThoTua nd in T hirty Daysl - 
 
 TWO- ERAS^OF FRANCE ^ 
 
 One votum 12nw-. (uniform wUh Lmt and Pearl Fahing,). 
 
 368 pagta. 
 
 • * In Se Stories of the Revolution^ the author haa detailed 
 ihe ai^ul history of the " Dauphin," and presented a summa- 
 ry JCiidence so far discovered, m regard to thatmost inter- 
 estinVhi^torical ^uestion-«Afi identity of the Rev. ^fcazer Hd- 
 Hams with Louis XVIL 
 
 Muslin, Gilt, $1, GiUEtfges, $1.25, Foil Gilt Edges &. Sides, $1.W. 
 
 ALDEN . BE ARDSLE V & Co^ Anbuni, N. Y., ^ iH«W»«ft«r» 
 ^ -VVANZER, BEARD8LEY&,Co.,Roche8ter,N.Y.,^ 
 
 NOTICES OF THE PRESS. 
 
 • » » We have read this volume with a good degree o*" »at»"^»f /jj" 
 
 • • >v e nave re j j . ntg of the incarceraUon of the 
 
 and interest. * . VvirhL nrnhible escaoe throueh the a d of the 
 
 r.ery/nSpS!:r;sK^eij^» ^^u^. or Fn«c.,?. 
 
 its intense interest.— %racu»« Journal. 
 
 't': * %hrinin.events. The revolution of m9-^sd^^^^^^^^^ 
 fordeepandworld-wideinterest. * * Ihe^^^^^^^ ^^^^^ 
 
 Dauphin has excited the ^f pe«t /"O* »"" "J *'l«,j^^ * u i., there- 
 
 over relates to these events " '^^^J'^'f "JS^ed the late issue. Fall 
 fore, wi^/pecuhar P^^^^^'^^^'-^l^JX^i'^^poFtrnth on aU it. 
 
 ji^i^l^ffio^tSi^-sraiSrrSho ^ 
 
 perusal —I.i'n« Vifiitor. , . - 
 
 \ 
 
 ■x^ » 
 
 \J 
 
•" . . Ul remarkablB and iiiten.« intoreit to the ^^^f'^J'^f^^ 
 the icholar, • * * It» contenU are worthy of Mamiimt.pn.-i'aJmj^ra 
 
 aUt Book. ^ ... ..._ - ., 
 
 • • • iTie facU which ar« given to prove the idcRtitf or M 
 
 .^ryi Li- ..^ »r ..r •«/>««<) ncr V interestinir Gharact 
 
 r. 
 
 WU' 
 
 ' noUce.-#V«rf. DougUUtf Paper, Roclu,Ur. 
 
 •: • • • TwoofthemwtintereatingpenodainiJlthenmtoryofthat 
 
 3/ nation • * * ^om^ of the more str^rng point* lu the hi-tory of tho.e 
 
 titnU.—JUKMMtir DaUy Advertuer. ' , ' .u 
 
 * • • The Bketchea are wrftten in pleiwant atyle, and are-a^then- 
 Uc • - • It Sn ?? read witH pleasure and pr6fit by all person. 
 
 • who would haye a comet Btatement of tw.o inosl iroporunt event..- ^ 
 
 • Roekuter DttUy Ameriean. 
 
 # • ♦^ThefateoftheHugenotaofFrance^ndlhemyatonouslus. 
 
 ,ery of theVauphin or son of Louis XIV constitute tLc pomta o^attrac^ 
 
 • • * TfaeMarepOfUonaofUtofyofretharkaWehitereBt. _ 2"^ 
 * ■ • Every new boSlfepon the iubjeU ii eagerly snatched up'by^^^ 
 
 nublic es7ec°ally by a liVely and graphic pen. likp.thp one which, drfew A 
 -'■ E ikefche" tL work is repTete witlfinterest, and. w.*l repay a pe- .j 
 i52lV»* The author's ofcc.t has been to 
 " ^^ rSIwiflivividneaaandfreahnes^ralhfer Oja^ to ^xpreb. >'"y "«*«» ^^^V* * 
 
 SISeTtinrSem. He baa certainly produced vivid pict^^^^^^ 
 ^ ?«^f^ a vaSety of historic informatipn that p«g(t.t to bte in every read- 
 
 •rt Soalestion?^ ihe idpa is a cajiital one. wh'ich ought to >e more fujiy 
 
 • JaJiST'ut The reader may be 'assured of a very impressive alid re<id|». - , 
 4 blebook.^JV. Y. TriBune. • ^ 
 
 -• • ♦ » The volume vfrili be found a ver*«*Mnrctive one ,^_, 
 
 readers and ahould have a phiCe in all the libraries loryoung men 
 
 Y. Mirror. * .. ' . \' . 
 
 - » ♦ • Thi, I, a book of great interest and excellence. It contama 
 
 two stories : but each one is full of stirrfng evenu j each develope. aa 
 
 erain the history of Franc#.-Ito.to» Travelkr. . 
 
 ' Thiaworkia of great interest and of usefulness to the general reader, 
 
 the aSdinviid atotisUcUn. It i».a sketch of Biograph.es Oinlling m- 
 
 eUiTnta and recitals, replete with Historical.Fact and valuable informa- 
 
 . Sob £vStodSlhe jSlixity which necessarily appertain, to atondard 
 
 ^ SutiSc woAf. ♦ V ♦ We coounend the book aa a digest of Histo- 
 
 V ry.— ITk* American' Citizen. : ' ^ ' , ^ 
 
 ■., 
 
 
 
 SJv 
 
 tojouns 
 
 
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 :''".i;i' ;■' :V 
 
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 Six ThoiU&nd in Sixty Says! 
 
 Diokew' Nfl^. ok t ^' ^ . 
 
 ComprtdngBdadionB/rom that admirable publicationy** Didc- 
 . First Series.— 1 vol. ISitio., luniform with Lewie,) p^ico $1.00 
 
 ' ALDEN. BEARDSLEY A Co., Auburn, N, Y , , {■p^j.^^j,.. 
 . WANZER, BEAHi)SLEY &. Co., Rochester, N. y., J '*^*"**«'^» * 
 
 This volame is the JJrst in^ a aehea gatljered from the same piib 
 lica^on. It is enriched with ,%n admirable likeness -of Pickens, 
 
 , €ngray<fd for this t|(ork. The [Publishers commend the volume ait 
 pure iQ sentirhefit, wholesome in morals, and abounding m'such . 
 incident and interest as cannot fail to secure a friehdry reception 
 and a wide circulation with American readprs. (Second sepiq* 
 
 , AviU^bj? published July Ist, 1854.) ' .. ' ** 
 
 *So say the Ifr^ss— i^iort Extracts froui I.engthy Notices. 
 
 It ii not ft story of pearl diving in the Irtdian iewi. tfut a choice collie- ^ 
 tibn of pearls fished from Dickens' Hotuehold ,Worda, and strong together 
 As an ornament for the library and the parlor, • • *. * Suchaselcc-; 
 tion of Dickens' own gems is quite a favor to hia admirers m the United 
 States. • • * * The story of Lizzi«/-eigfc is' alone worth , the pnpo 
 lit i^eyohimc^N. y. Independent 
 
 It vras a good thought of the fuiblishera to collect the best stories of tJie 
 
 ' ' llotisehold Words into acceptaWe volumes, printed in large new type, on 
 cQod Baperi to please fastidious readers like ourselves, and tp entice event 
 Led people to the perusal. * * • This series shpuld command a 
 
 ' large circulation, if good taste in the choice of fictitio&s hte;atare has 
 not died out with the auccess of Hot Com and similar atrocities.— iV. Jr. 
 
 ' « »■ # Th&^ book contains a charming selection of the best stones 
 from " Dickens' Hous'ehold Words." • » * * Most valuable and inter- 
 
 ' esting publication, handsomely printed in the large type, open page, which 
 are happily superseding the absurd, crowded, and illegible pages which 
 .. _i':^--'_..i.i: ,.^^ Z,,.t^^-tm, imnnaaA iinon the American Dul 
 
 •are nappuy supereeuiug •■"«» »uo"i", »-.""».«-*., - — —-o — -. r a- 
 
 the cheap publication systemim imposed upon the Amer«£an pijjij*c:- 
 
 'Neu) York Day ^ok. . ' - 
 
 These stories, selected from Dickens' Household Words, make a hand 
 some vorume, with a fime likeness of their author t is a capital thjmght 
 to gather up 8^ch ofthfi^e interesting papers as \*iil be of most intetest 
 to^t^e Amerioen-reader.— Providence Daily Post. 
 
 * • * In gathering theae cl^oice stories the selection has been made 
 Wsuch as fumfsh the most brilliancy and value. • • * ?^ft, "!'•'* 
 Incident and absorbing interest, from- beginning to end. And what 13 
 more and better, the lessons they teach are of the Purest morality. 
 ' • * ' The stories have point and force, nnd will be read by all, oia ana 
 v<junE, M»th delight and ,profit.r*^u6urn /.'ai/y i4dufriw«r. 
 
 ■"^h: 
 
value, and thev only need »" "^ '^^ ' Unetmit DatT^ Tnbune. 
 ttrcciating high and nol.lc Bontiiucnts. venon y . ^^^^.^ t^e cbm 
 
 Sgi around h.m.^On^uno A/.m«,- . ^^ ^^^ ^^ ^„^ 
 
 tnstcful and choice • * *\rLl!h7nJ p»n«lidate for the puW.c 
 .S^^^^ffi3::^^'t^iSlSi^^- ttS& *i.a happy^ne, and 
 ^ustBUCceed^^gr^Kru.e J ^rnat. „,„re entertaining 
 
 • i * This is a most itoilf'Sr^^^rns \t docs some of Dickena^ 
 hook tt would he di(ficult4o Pr^>»,f f;,rc,;iKord3 ha>;e. a repu- 
 ?:;r J;i;!^is "KuS^nt .u^t^tjc th^itOe^t ge,ns cannpt H.. to b„, 
 
 come P<'P«'=^^-^''''^«''^f •'^i^*:;*;^ ,hebe.t of Dickens' writings. Th« 
 "'"^fmTen 'best stories. ^llZ^el wbrlh at least half th6 pr.ce of 
 
 ■a , I ' ' 
 
 -i 
 
 V 
 
 i-x 
 
 
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 , 'I 
 
 
.:r 
 
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 / 
 
 v\ 
 
 *• '-'■ : ■ *■■' '/ '■■■' ■■■--■■ [ • \ ■ 
 
 Great Romance Coming- A Book for tlio Timet! ^ 
 0r ^Yomaii's Ri{i;htH and Spi ritualism 
 
 ILLV'STRATINO THE PO»'V.'vt« ruv** 
 
 DELUHION8 OF TItB XIXtm 
 
 ■ I 
 
 f 
 
 BY FRKF). FOLTO, 
 
 *• This is the ago of oddities l^t Joose." 
 
 A beautiful I2ini). vol., 400 pp. with ten illii-traiions by ^uflii), 
 
 Cl»>th, gut, B»,J6. 
 
 ALDKN & BEIRDSLEY, Auburn and Roclicsliir, N. Y., 
 
 . |g(Yjli»beri. 
 Xdvance Opinionn of the Press, 
 
 " » '>• N-on« win »H> m'^-ro nnxtoustr) r.M<l it th.in tiio«o .who proctlw 
 (!..» MlliMlt lllu.itraloH,ini.it;JiUrnii'i.ci*l«MiHU. 1 he book ^^l^l liuvu a 
 
 •» '*"-r./Klok ii'p;en.oly what'tbe "tnr.c." .fn,H«.l-^a d.-rulo,l "hlU' 
 < itihl will iitcoinpli'h iiMKh F..01I. Uc i)r».(liri lor hrr h br.llu.it caretff^. 
 
 Kiri»'.^M to ''i'^reil Folio." — Urfonl Tuhen ■ , . . 
 
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 .' 'V*'/"'!'/' '"bore U not a Imdart of fun, we are mi-tdki-ii. No «<.rk has 
 l.,...n a.H.o.ii.CLd of lato that wUI be so rwd.ly fouKht lor as Liiry Ib.stoii 
 
 ."J-'Tit'^c^. folio" M as fortiinato'ui ".ll.iMr.inna" as Ko4trtii.K his 
 lluxoe, woil mav tl.o pobh^lu-rs anmmnro .t -A book lor the l.ii.c-." We 
 h.-i'i- f.'r ail early iiitrodurtiun to "F-ur>."^-l//;fl/'yvl>r««, 
 
 . "*' * A i.Nore appropriate Mil jrrt l.-r a fnld, pen roold im t be found. If 
 
 * 'KiTd Folio," (of \xb.an wo know noih. ..!!,) Imh doiio j'islH-e to U.a s« h 
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 ,"l::.uleToin"i^m.tlelibrbiiid, intbo r«/» «lio 'is dostined to make ,— 
 
 * * » The title and .bar I. icr of the forilirotainp work will ensure fmr it 
 » anVxti-i.-ivo wale. T.i.it rt will be «el! woith re^-l.nc, we have a Milbneiit 
 
 V P'lvra.re in til., ^'ood ti-'f .»i.iJ pr.nerbi.U caution »t the onterpr.a.nfj 
 
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 kn.ivt' bim 
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 ■Ft.n.c/and l>ol i UMi..fftl« .N.nMri..'«fc<.ent.j'i .'-^ 0/teJaCUi'J. 
 
<H '. 
 
 '1? 
 
 A Book for the Million ! Eight thou«and Published lihcd 
 
 January lit 
 
 AUTOGRAPH^ FOR FREEDOM, 
 
 EDITED BY JULIA GRIFFITHS 
 
 •' In the long yi»U of the yoani to roll, ' 
 
 Let mo not see my country's honor ftijlf J 
 Ob! letmcBceour landrotam itiioul . 
 Her pride in. rfeedom, and not trcedom • ihade. 
 
 »h one detrant Inrtrr. Vimo. volume, containinff orvnnaf contri- 
 
 ^butions fromlUFTY of the uK«t po/;.t/ar ar;a^.mine)U writers, on 
 
 UuSject?.f ^men-can Government. andtJuT^ie Pf^J ^^^ 
 
 Walion in respect to her Domestic InsiilutionR, and the future 
 
 / snSand Ulory of the Uepublic. cnbelhshcd ^ith .■Twelvx 
 
 ^ "Sfd Stee'l Plat« i'ortra.l. <^^ «'^ ^^Uownig J^UngujjW 
 
 diaracters, tvho are among the contnbuiors ^ »tlP»?f''^3?^ 
 
 Wm. H. Seward, Lewts Tappan, J^f^' ^^^'V^mit^ Wm. VV. 
 
 Brown, Prof. Chaa. L. Reason, Frederick Doughs, Rev. II eu^J 
 
 Ward Beechcr, Rev. Antoinette L. Brown, Harret Beechcf 
 
 Stowe, non.Jo^baa R. Oiddinga, Hon. Horace Greeley, Rev. L. . 
 
 H. Chapin. ''' " 1 '^ ^ .,. 
 
 • 1.23 in PUiin Mu^'in, ilSO 0.« Edg«. tiX6 vtt Gilt Side, and Ldgr, 
 inrCopies will be sent by mail, an^ postage ore-paid, on receipt 
 of Price by the PublisherB. ^ * 
 
 OPINIONS OF THE PRESS. 
 
 * # * It contains a large number of very interesting letters from 
 s.me of the mo^t eminent writers of the day.^^uAurn Da^y Adverluer. 
 
 * • * This is an eiegant volume, containing original contributions 
 from more tbai fifty writSrs, the most of whom are weU known to the 
 
 -litcraiy world as writers of marked ability.— FwAAn/i KepubhCan. 
 
 * * • There is something eminently hopeful for the cause, in tins- 
 independent leading off, whichlias sprung up in Kochester based on thp 
 nSp"e tba if anv m.in wishes to 'do liny. thing for the slave, we'll let 
 r. m 'n.e exc lusivi principle, of co-operation only with those who come 
 u I to vour own slandird h^ had its day -/.»«««'« LimngAge, Boston. 
 
 * » » Many k the first? spirits of our Age and %>untry have con- 
 tributed stirring and eflective essays to tliis truly interesting work,-yflte« 
 County n'ni^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ well written, pointed and nungent^ll bear- 
 ing upon the great question of slavery .—rroi/ Daily nmes. - 
 
 » * » A c.llection from the writings of the most eminent of those 
 who l-.ave rontr.buted in the anti-slavory caune. with ihcir autographs-at 
 ached. » * " In most of these po.iraits we recw«.ze an unusually 
 ooodlikeness of. the persons represented These will be prized by tuany 
 Cty<»c.'i the cost of the book; • 
 
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