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'V '".^ -, 1 «!. *.- .??» c hf^. ihf*^. mmtktt^it„„.jiuj^Lmtm tm ) I ! i I e.! 7 ■ ■>'!«&» FIFTH EDITION Business men's JuMlee -OR- iS^ C A R N I V A L ^^^ IIM PROSE, RHYME AIMD OiraCLE, Including full instructions for introducing it to the notice of business men, costuming, &o. BY — MRS. V. S. PATTERSON, of London, Ont., Canada. Author of "The Girl of the Period," and "Pride Goeth before a Fall." A commedietta adapted for the use of schools and parlor entertainments. Entered according to Act of Parliament of Canada, in the year 1891. bir Virginia S. Patterson, in the Oflice of the Minister of Agriculture. • ♦ » ^onbon, ©nt. : ADVKKTI8ER PRINTING COMPANY 1891. i. ■■ ii»uiiu i M i a i ,m i i i i nuio tti ' -^ B I Inc Au f t FIFTH EDITION. Business meii's Mllee g^CARNIVAL^g zra RROSB, rhvivie: aimd jximgi^e:. Including full inatruotiona for introduoing it to the notice of Ouaineaa men, ooatuming, do. BY- MRS. V. 8. PATTERSON, of London, On/., Canada. Author of ''The Girl of the Period," and " Pride Goeth before a Fall." A commedietta adapted for the use of schools and parlor entertainments. Bnterud according to Act of Parliament of Canada, in the year 1891. by Virginia S. Patterson, in the Offlce of the Minister of Agriculture. -«•♦ » i!onbon, (Dnt. : ADVKRTI8BR PRINTING COMPANY- r '^(>(^ 2078 \j c i f To Those Managing the Jubilee. As the best natured audience soon tires of long speeches, these verses and songs have been made as terse and concise as is consistent with the claims of each business firm, the aim being to present their several attrac- tions in a striking way ; also to bring the recitations within the compass of any children who may be used as performe's. All the trades and businesses common to any community are here given, and many others, such as manufacturers, etc., are also provided for under the head of Miscellaneous, from which you can draw. Many of these can be changed and easily adapted to any unusual trades, which you may happen to have. A slight change will puflice in most instancei>. For example : a city drug store does not usually carry wall paper, and country dry goods stores frequently carry carpets. Such items, therefore, can be interpolated or left out to Ruit the case. It is understood that the man's name is to be inserted in the blank. The best results will be gained when but few small children are em- ployed. The Cradle and Wardrobe Pantomime are intended exclusively for little tots. Some special suggestions are the following : Before the programme proper begins, all the performers can march a few times around dB ed be tn- or a «8 le OPEyiNG» The Jubilee is opened by twelve girls. Let them come on together and form a Bemi-circle across the stage, each girl coming forward to the foot- lights as she speaks, and stepping back to the semi-circle till all have fin- ished, when all march to back of stage and remain there in lines of four on a side, till all of that division have finished and taken their places. No. X— Grain or Feed Store. Whore shall wo buy our oatmeal 1 At '8 large grain store, Whore goods are packed from ttoo: to floor, That's where to get your flax- see i. And corn and chopped feed for your horaoB, And barley, oats and rye. And other tbinga from a hundred sources At prices which are not liigh Will all be found at 'a. No. 2— Flour Mill. Where is the place to go for flour i Their buckwheat flour it is the purest, At s mill, by barrel or sack. And makes the best of cakes, That's where you 11 got your money back, On a wintry mum, oh ! how delicious, And that's the place to buy yoxir flour. Qo buy it for your stomach'a sake. (Tho two may be combined if necessary.) No. 3— Dry Goods. Who keeps the toniest dry goods i At 'a as you surely know, His customers come in a steady flow ; And he sells tho toniost dry goods, He revels in white goods.andsatinsand laces And glosoy ribbons to set off your faces. And he sells the toniest dry goods, And fleecy ruching by the mile. And buttons of the latest style, And goods of all kinda most divine Are found where leads the line And sells the toniest dry goods. No. 4— Blacksmith. Where do you get your horse shod J Says Mr. ' At wi/ shop. As a blacksmith I'm tiptop. And it's thn place to get your horse shod. The shoes I make will never slip, war- They're all wool, a yard wide, and ranted not to rip. If these horse slioes had been in use in time of coats of mail, Tho famous battle wouldn't have been lost ' for want of a horse shoo nail.' " No. S— Grocer. Whose grocery is tho cheapest ? 'a on street. Who sells eggs and fruit and sugar sweet, And everything else that's good to cat ; Their grocery is the cheapest. And honey, raisins, canned corn and rice, And peas and beans and crackers and spice, All to be had at the lowest price. At 's grocery, the cheapest. No. 6— Shoe Store. Who haj the nicest shoe store ? Oh ! of course ! You'll experience no remorse, For all his goods he will endorse If you buy at his nice shoe store. Where flne kid shoes in blaik or tan. To flt tho foot of a nice young man, ^Vill be found by every one who can Come to buy of — — — No. 7— Clothing. Who keeps the finest clothing ! Says Mr. ' come to mo, I'm a square dealer, as > ou will see ; You'll dance with joy to hear our price On piles of coals that flt so nicp, For I keep the finest clothing. " Where did I get this hat, whore this suit so neat; Where this jaunty overcoat and scarf and pin 8i> sweet ! Where did I get this handkerchief and vest which flts so awful nice .' I went to - 's clothing store and was suited in a trice. No. 8— News Stand. W here shall wc get our news ? At 's news stand You can buy every paper in the land ; That's where to get your news. Magazines, pictures and pens and ink. And so many books that their names I can't thiok, And boxes of stationery and pencils and slates \'ou find at 's, at lowest rates. Bi.lKlil tSBSSSsamsmm wm I / ill No. 9— Bitik. Where shall we put our money ? Take it to the Bank Where every station, every rank Can safely keep their money. Where Are, nor flood, nor burglar bold Can Ret v itliin and steal your gold. The Bank is the place for yon When the almighty dollar's due. No. 10— Meat Market. Where shall wo go for sausage ? At 'a meat shop; If you look in you're sure to stop. Of meats of all kinds he lias a crop, And you mutt buy his sausage. His ham is never aught but sweet, His Btf ak is always tender, His corned beef is the best In town. And the whitest lard he'll render. What kind of a stock does ■ No. keep / Saddles and bridles and harness, too, Fine whips and robes of every hue. Prices reasonable and workmanship true. II— Saddlery. That's the kind of a stoek that keeps. You'll find at his store that trade is brisk, Wlien you buy liamess of you take no risk. No. 12— Bakery. WTiere shall we buy our bread t At 's bakery, you might know. Their cake and breads as white as snow, Theyll tickle your palate as down they go When people want the best of bread They go to 's store. If once, they've tasted his fine cakes, They're sure to call for more. So buy your bread of , (Dividing the semi circle in half in the center, the ends march toward each other and cout ling. No. 1 and No. 12, Nee. 2 and 11, etc., march up center to back of stage.) No. 13— Stoves. The old Pong says, " Nellie Bly Shuts her eye, And then she goes to sleep ; " but that isn't the way wUh , who is a wide-awake man and knows that success in busi- ness means to keep both eyes open. He buys only the best for his customers, and that is why they all prefer to purchase their tinware and stoves of him. Once there was a housekeeper. Some time ago, Who was a judge of cook stoves And such things, you know. She tried all kinds of cooking stoves, But none of them would suit, Till she bought her one of Now, wasn't slie smart and cute ? For now her husband ne'er complains Of drafts or tempera mean. For since she bought that stove of That household is serene. No. 14— Laundry. If you want your clothes washed spick and span. Go to , tlie laundry nmn. Better than a six horse team. He makes his laundry go by steam. i And oh! how good you feel, done up in immaculate hnen, fresh from his | iron, and looking like a full blown rose on a summer's morning. Remember the Bible says, "Cleanliness is next to godliness," therefore patronize . No. 15— Hardware. Why are — — like Gen. Grant ? Do you give it up ? Because they'll givo \ you big bargains *' if it takes all summer." They are high strung gentlemen and won't let any one get ahead of them selling hardware. Just go into their store and see how quickly you are suited and what a magnitirent stock you have to chose from. Lovely crow-bars and pickaxes of the latest cut are among the things they offer. If put on my oath, I'd be willing to swear le " " That lead the trade in hardware. That their line of cutlery, nails and hooks The articles crammed away in nooks And brought to the light when wanted by any To mention are far, very far, too many. For how e'er and how often you try to compare lead the trade in hardware. old Beps. 8k, le no Bch rto the uei- ers, lim. Ins ti his her :ive len nto 3ck out No. i6— Clothing^. is the name of a merchant in our town ; He sells the daisicst clothing that ever you put on, And hats and caps of every size, And handkerchiels to wipe your eyes. And hose to clad your shapely feet. Oh, he'll dress you fashionable and nsat. Then bring your cash and deal with him You'll never repent of it as sure as your name is Jack Robinson. No. 17— Dentist. An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, That was old Testament law. But how much better to give the whole job To a dentist to fix up their jaw. We have one among us; Dr. 's his name. He's a dentist of genius and skill ; He'll fix up your teeth in excellent style, (Decorate with dental instruments, teeth and dental instruments. Carry fillings. Plates, &c., on dreas.) And you'll never bo scared at his bill. A rosebud mouth is a pretty sight, If the teeth are clean and sweet. And Dr. 's the man to whom you must go, For in his prof esh he's a leading light. And his work is hard to beat. tooih brushes, &c. Crown of artificial large pasteboard tooth with gold paper No. 18— Dairy. (As dairymaid coiues on stage she Culls the cows.) Do you want to buy a glass of milk. Or a quart of cream, as rich as silk t Then listen to the milkman's bell; is here and wants to sell, Listen ! Listen ! to the milkman's bell. " Casha, Cushat Cusha, Leave your meadow grasses mellow. Quit your cowsl'ps, cowslips yellow. Come up, Whitefoot, come up, Lightfoot, Come up, Jetty, rise and follow. Jetty, to the milking shed." (Bell rung behind thi' scenes while she says " Listen." At last line takes a listening attitude, with her hand to her ear.) No. 19— Grocery, Dry Goods or Millinery. (To be sung to the air of " John Brown's Body," etc.) Hard times are on us— for so the people cry, Hard times are on us, but will try To give you all good bargains, or knock the trade sky high, For his stock is the best in town. ^.,^i^'^-t.v^^Hmi¥4t t 6 No. 33, 33— Dry Goods and Millinery. (Girls enter from opposite side of the 8ta,ge.) 1st.— My dear, where did you get that lovely dreas 7 2nd. -At '8. Isn't it beautiful? 1st —It's more than beautiful. It's seraphic. And oh, that lace, like a filmy, fleecy cloud or an angel's wing. 2nd. — Why, your enthusiasm makes you poetical. let.— Lovely things like those you have on always appeal to one's artistic side? 2nd. — ^But you must let me compliment you on your appearance. May I inquire where you got that duck of a bonnet ? Ist.—Oh, at 's of course. I get all my millinery there. She has ex- quisite taste, don't you think ? I wonder if there is any more of that goods like your dress. 2nd.— Oh, yes, and thousands of other patterns ju^t as handsome. 1st. — Come on then, I'm going there now to selact myeelf a new dress. 2nd. — And we'll stop at — millinery store and get me a new bonnet. (Go to back of stage arm in arm.) Na 34— Saw and Planing Mill. Whizz 1 Whirr ! Jansfle ! Smash I Buzz ! That's the way the machinery goes ripping and whizzing at 's big mill. At prices none other will dare compete And girls, never marry a young man until A nice, neat cottage he begins to build, And advise him to buT the entire bill, At 's big saw mill. Oak, poplar, walnut and pine Different woods from every clime, Flooring and siding of various kinds, They smt their customers every time. They furnish boards for a house complete, No. 35— Insurance. (Girl waves red flag and runs on the stage as she shouts the first four lines. Buns oS in a similar manner.) The town is burning ! The town is burning ! B^ire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Pour on water ! Pour on water 1 Pour on water ! Pour on water ! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Mr. , the enterprising insurance as;ent, presents his compliments to the citizens of and a^'sures them that he represents the best companies in the country, and will geUout ]3olicies at the lowest rates. He will charge you nothing for his smiles and will throw in severfll picture cards to boot. Then save yourselves from the consequences of Fire ! Fire i Fire ! Fire ! No. 26— Drugs. The great druggist , isn't after the post ofl&ce, neither is he hankering to be congressman, or United States Fcnator, nor is he longing to serve his country as street commissioner. Ue even doesn't sing, "Little Annie Booney ;" but he benefits mankind all the same by offering them bargains, in pills, powders and periumes, fine soaps and bath sponges, soda water, patent medicines and the finest line of drugs and fancy goods in town. No. 27— Barber. (Small girl goes in on a hippity-hop.) Hedi ' " ■ 1 ! ■ i j 1 1 Hippity-hop to the barber shop To get a nice shampoo, — — will shave your face And cut your hair and use the powder puff too I Of all the barber shops in town gi9 is the very cleanest, razors sharp, his bay rum good, And his manners the serenest With Angers light, and scissors bright, And you'll find him on street, opposite shop to get a nice clean shave. ef tly trims each whisker ; He lathers you and splathers you^ Yet he'll never raise a blister. What more would you ask 1 He's clean and he s quick ; Among all the barbers Be sure he's the pick, His colors are true The red, white and blue. . Then hippity-hop to the barber / ' No. 28— Dry Goods. SUITABLE FOR ALMOST ANY BUSINESS. [A girl dressed as an old-fashioned woman supposed to liave just returned to town after an absence of thirty-five years and la surprised at the changes, especially in the busi- ness she is advortising. Let her occasionally appeal to some old well-known citizens- peering through her spectacles as if suddenly discovering them in the audience and callhig them by their real names.] " Well ! well ? It does beat inl how this town has imprcved I It's thirty five years since I left, and I declare ! I hardly knew how to find my way around. This morning I went into —V, and goodness gracious, sakes alive! I acturelly felt kinder behind the times when I saw their elegant goods, and evervthing so hifalutin' like, and grand I It made me look real old- fashioned — it did, for a fact! Laws! if there ain't brother (Jones) out there in the aujience. He can ricollect how things used 10 look round here thirty- five years atio. When I left this town I never thought that such an elegant ptore OS i's would greet these old eyes when I'd come back. And there is sister (Smith) ? You and me was girls tos^ether. w vtn't we, sister (Smith) ? It doos me an a'vful sight of good to eee my old fri^ndt), and above all to see how 's are coming on with their elegant goods that they sell at such awful low prices ! I don't see how they can clear enough to make a livin'l I'm goin' tnere to buy a whole stack of goods before I leave town. No. 29— Coffee House. Once upon a time a man started out to be popular. He studied over the matter, for he wanted to win the people. He had heard that the way to a man's he;* ' t is through his stomach, so he put out his sign, — — 's restaurant. And he filled the table with roast meats and fried chicken and loaf cake and luscious pies and good things of all kinds, and the crowds Hocked in and ate and ate and ate and published the fact that for a good meal you must go to No. 30— Confectioaery. Those sugars pinlc, and chocolate drops, i How perfectly delicious! I dreamed a dream the other night When all around was still : T dreamed I went to My shopping bag to fill With candy and confections. And golden taffy sweet. I blessed the day I got a taste Of things so good to eat. (munches some.) Then let your children buy a pound And keep from feeling vicious. For surely anything so sweet Will make one's temper sweeter. And — will sell all you want, And send it home short meter. From the cradle to the grave Our life is but a span : Then insure while yet there's time, is the man. Don't wait till you are dead, For then 'twill be too late, No. 31— Life Insurance. But take a thought ahead And avert your children's fate. Go seek the insurance man. And by this time to-morrow. Have your policy in your hand And save your wife much sorrow. is the insurance agent you want to interview. You'll find him at No. 32— Coal Yard. We might get alonj;^ without a good many thing>^ in this life, but the coal sold by is an indispeneablp Hrticlp. We cook by it. It warms us in winter, and an we sit by its glenm and toast our toes we bless our lucky stars that we got it of He has coke, soft coal and the best anthracite. To keep your house warm from morning till night. No. 33— Jeweler. He isn't a Icck^m'th, or a blacksmith, nor a gunsmith, nor a poet like Oliver Goldsmith. But he'-* a silversmith and hi« name ia , and his elegant stock of goods is a *' thintr of beauty is a joy forever." He delighi« the younjj gentlemen with his tine assortment of enangt^raent rinps. He pleases the old people with his spectacle^, and take him uK in all he is a jewel of a jeweler. If. ^fv^rmf^mrm^.iKn-- -mi^,r»*^.-r-r ;^'a. 'i>- ^ 8 No. 34— Bakery. Pat-a-cako, pat-a-cake, baker man, Bake nio a cake as fast uh you can, And let it be nn elegant fruit cake willi plenty of raisins and citron in it, such as people buy nt 'n fine bakery. Send along some of those nice rolls iroeted with KURar, and fome of his delicious buns. And don't forget that lovely creana bread and pretty little tea cakes, and maccaroone, and kieses that excel in. No wonder the ladies like to buy good things of IThc girl should clap her hands tORCther while saying flrat line.] No. 35— Meat Market. Oh ! is the boss Of all the butchers in the town In apron white, He smiles polite, And cuts a porter steak or round. What makes the folks love so The eager children cry. Oh! loves the folks, you know And sells ihcm ham to fry. SECOND DIVISION. \ \i>\ Nos. 36-37— Conservative and Reform Newspapers. (Two girls meet from opposite sides of the stage.) Con. — What paper do you take? Ref. — The - It's a capital paper. Spicy and original and sound on the tariff and labor question. Con. — 1 he ■ suits me. Its editorials are always clear and forcible and give no uncertain sound. Its always anead of all the l^eform papers in this part of the Province. Kef. — The local news column of the is alone worth the price of the paper. We couldn't keep house without it. Con. — Thai's the way we fee 1 about the good old reliable . Come on, now is the time to subscribe. Ref.— The is doublinp its subscription every month. ■D«*v, ♦^^^fv,^.. I Hurrah for I he Both together. I Hurrah for the . (Any particular feature which is a specialty with the newepapers can be introduced. This is only a suggestion as every paper has local interests.) No. 38— Electric Light. The Statute of Liberty, with the torch in her hand, is a beautiful symbol, but the electric light of our town is a beautiful reality. Goethe's last words were, "Light — more light, and our citizens also asked for light, more light, and now we have floods of light furnished by the Eleciric Light Company — and to them we owe many thanks. No more picking of steps on a muddy night. But we step along gaily by the electric light. And we smile when we think of our formur plight, When our town was dark without electric light. (Costume— Crown of lamp shades, epaullette lamp shades, and row of lamp shades around skirt, wire bracelets with lamp at wrists, etc.) (The girls should now be in two columns of four rows each Each row containing four girls. After marking time lor a moment Nos. 1 and 12 of the first set, who are now head- iDg the back rows, come forward through the center aisle. Nos. 2 and 2 of the back row following Nos. 3 and 3, etc., till all have passed down. The llrst couple turns to the ri^ht, the second to the left, and so on alternately. As they meet at the back, the outxide girls, those toward the front of stage, swin^ round together, making a new couple, and their partners the same. At the front they divide, march to the back and come down single file, divide right and left, recouplo at back, march to front and divide right and left by couples and pass off at rear.) No. 39— Carriage Factory. I Are you in a hurry To buy yourself u aurry, A carriage or a buggy I is tlie man, He'il sell you one if he can, In weather flne or muggy. Ur ttx }our old one up so tinu The neighborts all around will pino To have one llxed in the same line By No. 40— Livery. Crack I goes the whip ! Round go the wheels and the fleet horses from 's hvery stahle will whirl you along in fine stylo. His turnouts are nice and grand, He'll take your horse to board, The most comfortable in the land. And he'll feed it like a lord. (Girl cracks a riding whip as she be^'ins tier speech.) No. 41- -Furniture. Furniture display— Sung to tunc of Peekaboo. ' Peek-a-boo, Peek-a-boo. -Look at our furniture sweet, littvo the best., plain and stylish and neat. * Don't }iou /ail to— Every man must have a wife ; just the dearest wife that lives. Every one has a liomo to adorn. And if you wo»ild ask what would bring ihu greatest bliss, Twould be Furniture, sure as you're born. Peek-a-boo, etc. (Begin with tune at chorus. Two children iu ii wardrobe with closed doors are pushed on stage. Open when ^inginir. Insiile of wardrobe may be draped in colored cheese-cloih to match children's dreise:*.) No. 42— Confectionery. C'all and sec our flne goods, Htands and lounges too, Side-boards grand, easy chairs, Sure as we re peek-a-boo. Man's name tntixt be w ranged to fill the meature. If I had a donkey what wouldn't go. Do you think I'd switch him ? oh no, no, no. I'd give him some ,affy and then he'd go Straight to oh, ho ho. Who has candies and gum, bo 70od— yum ! ^um ! If I had a sweetheart and ho didn't love me. Do you think I'd cry till I couldn't see i I'd buy him some gum-drops down at the shop Of as slick as a top. He keeps candies and gum, Ho good -yum ! yum ! (Girl chewing a slick of gum at end of each verse.) No. 43— Fire, Accident and Life Insurance. The poet said, " Tell me not in mournful numbers. Life is but an empty dream." But if you're insured it will save many blunders. And of companies the — "s the cream. Then get out a policy without further delay. For delays are dang'rouii so wise people say; So if sudden death comes and your family's in sorrow, They won't have to beg, nor they won't have to borrow. Or if the lightning comes And visits your house or stable. You'll then be glad to know. You insured while you were able. Or if, while riding on the rail. You lose an arm or leg will make the loss so good You'll never have to beg. Fire, Accident and Life He represents all three. And if you want to be insured Says , "Come to me." No. 44— Dry Goods. (Any season can be substituted in first line.) The summer time was coming fast When through our city streets there pass'd A crowd of folks whose mighty roar • Called for the cheapest dry goods store. Go on to , the old man said, For with low prices thej paint the town red, jFor mufllios and laces atd dress goods line. And of hosiery and gloves an elegant line takes the cake. Oh, stay ! the maiden cried, and tell Have they silk patterns for a belle. And bra ds so sweet to trim them well ? A voice replied like a rebel yell, You'll find them at , '-n.-^* ■_'"■'. ' ;, .";>( '/■):.■ ""T.,r:'v f^^H^/^ve^^M'^"^ 10 lit. Snd. Not. 45, 46, 47 -Hardware, Drugs and Photographs. (Qroup of three girls who oome on the stngA At ono<>.) Blng a aoDR of Bixponoe, (Hardware.) A pocket nili of ryo ; K very thing In hardware Kept by who invites your attention to his elegant stocic of cutlery. His ten cream frcoiiors, And lemon squecKers. His seisHors and linives, To save your lives you can't And anything finer in this city. When the plu was opened (Drugs ) The birds boKan to sing Drug Store! Drug Store t who keep a full,!ine of books and fancy goods lovely castor oil for the complexion. toilet mirrors to see your handsome face in, elegant pictures to embellish your walls, and wall papers of the latest styles. Von can't utrord to overlook Drug Store, for the proprietors are flip and they meKn business. Srd. ( Photographs. 1 The king of photographers, was in his counting house counting out nis money thnt he had taken in excnange for the beautiful photographs ho makes. The queen was in thb <<^itchen eating bread and honey, and planning how she oould get him to take hor picture. has comn to the front and to stay. Mark that friends ! Photographs largo, and photographs small. Go to his gallery and give him a call ; His work is first c-lass. but I'll say no more. You'll see for yourself as you enter the door. No. 48-Milliner. (Any business. — This can be uoed for milliner, grocer, doctor, or any busi- ness, by having children alwayH give man's name for answer. Two or three small boys or cirls on stage. Enter teacher with open book.) (Teacher.) Class in (jeography stand up. Willie, who was the first man? Ans. Mr. Teach. Nonsenfe. Everybody knows it was Adam. Johnny, can you tell me who was our greatest statesman ? Anb. Mr. Teach. Whnt stuff. It wns only yesterday we read it was Sir John A. Macdonald. Well, Katie, perhaps you can tell who invented the telephone ? Ans. Mr. Teach., angrily : Dear, deiir. what numb-skuHs. Don't you know it was Edison ? You must all be crazy. Its nothinir but to every question I've asked. Well, I'll try you oncrt more. Who is the best (grocer) in town ? Children (all together.) Mr. Teach. Correct for oncp. (Teacher may be dressed in old time costume ; high comb, big ruffled col- lar, spectacles and armed with a switch. The children in style of forty years ago, long aprons, 'ong pantaletts, etc.) No. 49— Jeweler. If you weren't born with a silver opoon in your mouth, don't worry about it, for you can go to ^.jewelry establishment and buy a lovely set of spoons much cheaper. keepa nn elegant line of jewelry, watches and tableware Try one of his beautiful clocka. The low prices make them go off like hot-cakes. (Holds an alarm clock, which is set to go off as ^he says last line.) Follow the crowd who are buying watches at place Full .leweled, hunter's case and some open face. A fine watch you can buy for almost a song. And wo always watch a person, If we think he's 'doing wrong. Why, that's a pun. Do you see it ? No. 50— Druggist. Get porous plasters for your neck. And medicines to knock the chills, And quinine capsules by the peck And camphor gum and syrup of quills, iffe* " At 's ; he will serve you quick. And scented salve for a chaffed lip, Of all our druggists he's the pick, And lozenges to cure the grippe. And keeps all drugs to cure the sick. His stock is large, his drugs are pare. So call on him to buy your pills, And of low rates you may be sure. 11 No. Si— Baktry. Polly wants a cracker ! Yoa bot she wants it bad. And If she don't iret 's. 1 think she'U wish she had. — - owns a bake shop, Ne'er a one have I, But when I want some loaf cake That's when) I go to buy. l>akes Bwoet crullers And rusks and ginger bread, He Kives fourteen for a doison 80 I've heard it said. trade is growing, No sugar in ni* sand. He's a leader among bakers i)U over this grenl land. bakes such ^ood things It rually makes you feol An if you couldn't hardly wait To get your regular meal. The very scent of broad Will give you an appetite. And maku you wish rou'd nothing todo But eat from morning till nlKht. No. 52— Ice Dealer. What is 80 nice Asa lump of ice At a trifling price On a very hot day To put on your b«rrio8 With cruam from the dairies Or keep your meat cool With ice delivered every mominK by It is conceded by all th"t the ioe man is the most welcome person thai comes to our doors the ioe dealer. daring the summer n' of our sisters, and oui I s. How sad, yet how true it is. that we oun do without the visits usins and our aunts, but wo can't do without ice No. 53— Singer Sewing Machine. (To the tune of " King the Bell, Watchman. ") Of all the machines the Singer ranks higli, Its fame has reached up from the earth to the sky, Be sure that you buy one, it pleasure will bring. Office in , Singer, sing, sing. Chorus— Sing the song. Singer, sing, sing, sing. Yes, yes, the good news is now on the wing. Oh ! the Singer machine, now lis praises will ring, Singer, good singer, oh sing, eing, sing. The Singer machine is the best in the world- Its flag to the breeze— its banner unfurled. Is the agent, to him orders bring. Office in , Singer, sing, sing.— Cho. No. 54— Clothing Store. Oh ! have you been hearing About Mr. , He's a courteous fellow So genial and mellow, Who'll sell an umbrella. Or a suit, black or yellow. And pantaloons tine That quite take the shine* (Give him a call and select a summer suit.) No. 55— Agricultural Implement Store. As Lonu fellow doesn't say, '' In the Bpiin^r a young man's fancy lightly turns to tho'ts of love," but the farmer s thoughts generally turn towards those new plows and mowing machines and reapers and corn planters that will be pleased to show you at his agricultural store. Cnly think of the fun in store for you at harvest time aud go and bujr a farm implement of , who has them so new and red and shiny that it dazzles your eyes to look at them. No. 56— Bepair Shop. You have all heard about the man who was ''Jack of all trades and master of none," but such is not the case with Mr. , who has the knack of doing well everything tl)at nobody else can do. He can mend anything from a bicycle to a parasol handle, from a buggy spring to a refractory lock. Don't get out of temper trying to do your own repairing, but employ Mr. , who has experience and genius, and will make a good job of it. I I J 1 12 No. 57— Carpenter and Builder. '* He builds too low who builds beneath the skies," soys the poet, but that is just where does all his building and makes excellent work of it too. He keeps liiniself posted in all the improvements in architecture, and if you want a cozy cottage or an elegant rt tidence, he is the man to build it for you. And when you look around your pretty home you can repeat those beautiful lines, This ia the house that built. This is the porch that stands over the house that built. This is the cat that mewed all night as it lay on the porch of the house that built. This is the dude that kissed the girl that petted the cat that lay on the porch that stands over the door that built. I^adies and gentlemen, you can finish the charming poem at your leisure. No. 58— Hatter. t Men call women vain creatures, because we like to get a pretty new bonnet every tea son ; but when we see our brothers, husbands, fathers or beaux coming out of- fashionable store with a brand new hat, we are just delighted. Their Gladstonian heads and massive brows look twice as beautiful when they have one of stylish Derby's soft hats, silk plugs, or tony felts. We ladifs are judges of nice goods, and when a gentleman is fitted out by with a lovely tie, a becoming muffler, or a fashionable hat, we think he is just too sweet for anything. No. 59— Grocer. You'd scarce expect one of my age, To speak in public on the stage ; But the temptation is great and I can not but tell Of a grocer who treats all his customers well. 8 his name, you all know him, good folks. For he gives you fine bargains without any hoax. He has canned goods and spices, and sugar and teas, No. 60— Railroad. And coffee and eggs as fresh as you please* His clerks are all pleasant, attentive, po- lite, And you may be sure you'll be treated all right. They'll fill up your order as quick as a shot, And before you get home the tea's in the pot. You smack your lips with unstinted praise. And resolve to buy goods there the rest of your days. The people like it for that very reason, And prefer tiie for every season. Their agents in are so clever. To please the public is their endeaxor ; May they soive the forever I Are you planning for a summer tour. Then take the . to be sure ! And save your dollars every time, For this is the cheapest railroad line. Their handsome cars are clean and cosy. And you'll end your journey as fresh as a posey. In a Kailroad repiesentation a girl may be dressed with traveling cap, plaid ulster, carrying a satchel a la Nelly Bly starting on her trip around the world by that route. No. 61— Dressmaker. Solomon in all his glory didn't look half so nice as the ladies do who get their dresses made by , the stylish dressmaker. She can tit you to a dot, and vou will look so handsome your own husbands "vs'jnt know you. You •will lind her at street. (May have one girl taking measure, another with tape line, etc.) No. 62— Stove Store. You've all heard the text about heaping coals of tire on a person's head» but to-night we refer to the stoves in which to put the fires. has thtm of all sorts and sizes, from the cunning little one, just suited to young people beginning housekeeping, up to the big kitcj^en stoves that will cook every- thing. Choice tinware, kettles and pans to delight the housekeeper's heart, aU to be found at stove s .ore. Tin cups and tin buckets, tin spouting and cans, Tin roofs and tin kettles, tin sitters and pans, is the place to get them. 13- J No. 63— Coal. There were three crows sat on a tree, As black as any crows could be. In fact they were as black as the coal which 'ships in such large quantities all over the cnintry. Everybody has heard of the celebrated coal, and many people rise up and call this firm blessed. For I'm Kin^ Carbon ; from the mines I come to bring to all the lines Of business and traffic of whatever kind That which warms up the body and invigorates the mind, (A small boy, with smutched face, can wheel a truck or cart full of coal on the stage.) No. 64— Telephone Scene. Have an elevated box on the stage, out of which comes a tube and re- ceiver. A stove-pipe can be the tube, a piece of rope, with ball attached for receiver. A dinner bell for telephone bell. The girl who responds can be behind the scenes, if she will talk loud, but the effect is more comical to have her in view on opposite side of box. (Ist girl.) Connect me with merchant tailor. Hello! (Ans.) Hello! Ust eirl.) Can you get up four business suits this week for some parties from Nebraska ? They are friends of our-', and they want something stylish. (Ans.) We're rushed just now, but we'll try to do it. (Ist.) They've heard of (firm name) and they won't go any place else. 'ihey want good goods, too. I told 'em you carried the best line in town of Cassiniers, Meltons, Broadcloth, and everything of that kind, and that they could rely on anything you'd say, for you do business straight. Well, they'll be in to select their goods in the morning. (Any other business can be substituted for merchant tailor by changing name of goods.) No. 65— Music Dealer. When biirning Sappho loved and sung, And music, heavenly maid, was young. She walked with smiles the streets along, Humming softlj' a beautiful song which she had bought at the music store of . where can be found pianos, organs, man- dolins, guitars, harps, and musical instruments of all kinds. Call at his office on street. (A pleasing variety is to have any musical selection by some good singer, who may represent the Goddess o* Music in her costume of a loose white robe, slightly belted, with angel sleeves. Waved hair, flowing, and carries a gilt lyre. Or have bars of music ecattered over her dress with the man's name on it. If he furnishes a piano, have his card on that also.) No. 66 -Fruit Store. keeps tropical fruit, Oranges and lemons and bananas to boot, And homlier products that taste just as good, ■\Vhich help to make up our daily food. Their store presents a most beautiful sight, When boxes of fruit so glowing and bright, And the crowds care neither for corn nor for bunions, As they Jostle each other to look at the onions. The children gaze with a longing eye At the luscious fruit stored in piles so high " And they coax and beg for one orange more Till you hardly can drag them away from the door. No. 67— Dentist. Where are you going my pretty maid, I'm going to the dentist, sir, she ^aiiL And who is your dentist I my pidtty maid. Why, Dr. , of course, she said. Ami how are his prices I my pretty maid. His prices are reasonable, sir, she said. Ho does his work w«ll, at the lowest rates, And can put up teeth on all kinds of plates. His office is clean as a lady's boudoir. And if he once worksfor you— you'll go back for more. -..■^. ! I u No. 68— Merchant Tailor. Who wants to bo a diulelet, And with the dudelcts stand i An ill-made coat upon bis back, No gloves upon his hand. can fit him, And sell hioi Bplcndid hose, All striped in latest fashion. With double heels and toes. They make men's clothes to fit them, And please in every way— " You never looked so nice before,' That's what the neighbors eay. Your coat's without a wrinkle. Yon vest's the latest style, You'll be the finest gentleman We'll see in many a smile. • are the ones to thank, For they're the Merchant Tailors Who understand their business, And never make sad failures. THIED DIVISION. s 1st.— Hardware. (A nurse's march is a pretty feature, nnd gi\ es variety. Have the girls wear long white aprons and wliite caps— dusting caps of cheese cloth will answer— so that there is uniformity. Each girl pushes a baby buggy in which there is a baby. 'Ihoy go singU* file, and if you wish they can softly sing a verse of "Hush, my dear! lie still and slumber." This may be used to advertise manufacturers of baby cabs by putting man's name on each cab, or the cabs can be dispensed with, and each girl carry a doll and go through the manual, "Present," "Shouldtr Arms," etc. Nos. 69, 70, 71, 72— Maud Mullet Series. ^ (Four Girls come on together.) -" Maud MuUer, on a summer's day, Raked the meadow sweet with hay," with a rake which had come from hardware store. She could have bought a spade or a shovel, or an axe, or a bird cage, or a coal scuttle, or sleigh bells, or any- thing else in the hardware line if she had wanted it, because keeps a full assortment of all such things. (Carries a garden rake and goes through the motions of raking hay.) 2nd. — Millinery. — " Beneath her torn hat glowed the wealth Of simple beauty and rustic health.'' Between you and me, I think Maud was very loolsh to wear that torn bat when she could have obtained such a lovely and becoming toque as has m her millinery window. Or if the wanted something else, there is an immense stock 01 bats of all shapes and sizes, and ribbons and plumes of all colors to select from and the new styles are so lovely. 3rd. — Dry Goods. — " And Maud forgot her brier-turn gown," because she was very well aware that when she wanted to replenish her wardrobe she had only to go to on street, where the could tind any kind of a dress from a satin to a ca ico, with all the trimmings to match. Catch ? 4th. — Shoe Store. — " And her graceful ankles, baie and brown." No doubt Maud's feet looked very nice that way, but they would have looked nicer, don't you think, if they had been encased in ihuse shapely, well-fitting shoes that has to sell. There's laced ones and buttoned ones and nice russet slioes, And shiny patent leather from which you may choose, So come one, come all, and give a call, lio kaeps shoKS of every size and competition he defies. No. 73— Grocer. ',■' :.. Vv' , . :u''on loved a good cup of tea, but we don't get ours thrown into ,.,- ■" '- "' r as Itiey did in those days. We buy our delicious tea at — — — v;x -i keeps the best tea in the market. He does for a fact. Geo. Washiugioii, on the other hand, loved a good cup of coffee. How he would have enjoyed the fragrant collee that sells. And the raisins, sugars, canned goods sold by . would have made those old Continenial I eople stare. Our forelathers couldn 't get such luxuries for love nor money, ut all we have to do is to order them from 's grocery. 15 No. 74— Hotels. (Two or three hotels may tiko part. One of the tailor girls comes on the stage near front carrying a valise in each hand as if just stepping off cars when the hotel girls rush at her calling rapidly and altogether to imitate hotel porters as much as possible.) let. — Hack sir? Right this way to the House. 2nd. House hack right here, sir. Take you right up to the House. 3rd. — This way for the House. Hack for the House. Baggage, sir ? Eight this way. (They all seize his valise^. He pulls and they pull. And they succeed in getting valises away and walk off in different directions with his baggage in triumph, each saying : "This way, ^, silks and muslins, too. At pricts M eriti your while. y^mona: the storeys there is a store W lure i dearly lo\ e to bujr ; — 's the I auie and the ladies all Will praise it to the sky. If a lady meet a lady \Vho wants a gingham dress, 1' First nanu' must be arranged to All th? meastu'c.) No, 86— Coal. Old Iving ("ole was a nu'rry o!d soul, And a merry old i-oul was he, Becnnpp be rever tis-rd nny otlir r Isird (1 coiil thnn ihe adinirable— conl. Cole by name and cold by nutiiro, what wi-er thing cotdd he or en^- body do than to use only the coal kept at coal yard. If old King Cole was a merry old soul. The reason can be easily hten. For he never used any but 's coal. And that is the reason, I ween. No. 87— Carriage Factory. Buggies to right of them, Phajtons to left of them, ■Wagons in front of them. More than six hundred carriages and elegant vehicles of alt kinds sold by the great carriage factory belonging to . Buy one and "Every Monday morning, with your family by your side, You'll jump into the wagon, and all take a ride. (Sing the last two linrs to make it more effective.) 'Wi No. 88— Grocer. In those days came , the grocer, to the land'of the ites, and set tip a grocery and sojourned among the people. Selah. And the people waxed fat on the previsions that did sell ; the oranges and the cheese and the fruit of the citron tree. And lilted up his voice and said : " Be- hold ! the lettuce, and the onion!>, and the radishes, and all manner of vege- tables that I will sell ior a farthing." And lol the people beheld and did buy their groceries of——. (Put name of town in second b'ank.) 18 No. 89— Patent Medicines. Have two ladies, one very lean, the other very fat, bearing a banner be- tween them, on which ia firm name and name of medicine. The lean lady must be labeled in big letters, " Before taking;," the fat one, "After taking." No. 90— Lumber Yard. Are you goinar to g^t married ? Next to the preacher Mr. is your best friend, for he will furnish you choice lumber to build you a house. Mr. doesn't go half so much on his good looks as he doe?" on hi^ ability to supply the citizens of with fine lumber for flooring, siding, roofing, fencing, etc. No. 91— Blacksmith. " I found H horse shoe, shoe, I found a horse shoe, shoe, I picked ]♦. up and nailed it on the door," and found it came from— —shop on Street. Mr. is prepared to do all kinds of work in his line, and will be jjleased to have you bring your ho3.ses there to be shod. (Girl holds up a liorrieshoe while she sings or lepeats fiist lines.) No. 92— Laundry. irero a rub and there a rub, licro and there a rub, -'s laundry tub. That's the way our clothes are cleaned in 's new laundry ia a Koni, A jewel in our city's diadem. AVit h collar and cull's so white and dean You'll be sweeter th.an a j)oot's dream. If you go to him once you arn enre 10 go again, for he always gives satii- faction and his work speaks for itself. No. 93— Woolen Factory. The tariff on wool has nearly k lied both the Conservntivo and Eeform parties, but the innocent little ^lieep have gone on quietly prodncinir froodr* lor Mr. to sell. Have you Feen his splonlid yarns, tlie elegant bl.ankeis and flannels ? This enterprising firm takes the lead in woolen goods. They make lovely yarn so soft and so nice. That the ladies prefer it, if 'twere double the price ; Now this sounds like a yarn, bui I hope you'll believe That I wouldn't tell a yarn, nor attempt to deceive, ' But if you like a yarn that 1* a yarn, go to / No. 94— Livery. Oh ! say, my fiiends, I'll name a firm Whobe prices nuiKe all others squirm. 's livery stable of great renown Adds to the lustre of our town. And if you go there to hire a team, you will cet one that far eclipes the famous nag rode by John Gilpin. A corps of obliging: stablemen stand lendy to wait on you, and the low prices will surprise you. Oh! Mr. is a daisy and knows how to run a livery stable. No- 95— Milliner. Why is the popular milliner. Miss , lik" a successful hotel-keeper? Because she caters to the tastes of the public. Why is she uvlike a Dunkard {)reacher? Because fhe shows off" the styles. Why is her millitiery store ike a mirror ? Because it reflects — the fashions. If you can't get becoming headgear at Miss you can't get it anywhere. No. 96— Hardware. Shovels and naila and iron Bird cages and axes keen. And whitewash for your barn ; Pitchforks bright that shine and gleam Paint and varnish and oils, At the hardware store of . And ropes in doiible coils. And their motto is, "quick sales and small profits." By acting on this they p'ease everybody. 19 No. 97— Dry Goods. Oh ! Patrons of tho Biisiness Men's Jubilee Walk into fine store and see And as yon gaze at thoir lovely display Of embroideries and laces and satins gay. You'll And it hard to hold on to your dioaes. For are brisk merchants and keep up with the times. Now mark my words, go see for yourselves The beautiful goods that are stacked on their shelves. Piles of dress goods and gingham and lawn, That quite take the ladies' hearts by storm, Boxes of buttons, dainty and cute, And velvet and ribbons for your new spring suit. And muslins fine and cambrics pretty. You'll not find such goods if you search tho whole city. No. 98— Dentist. When your teeth begin to ache from eating candy jnfitgotoDr. and see how quickly he'll relieve you of your trouble. His dental chair is like a bed of roses. Dr. understands the true inwardness of the old- fashioned, double-jointed, duplex, back-action, adjustable toothache, and v/on't hurt you a bit. Then if you are tired of chewing beefsteak with your own teeth he'll make you a set that will be so becoming you'll always be wondering why you didn't get them before. No. 99— Sash and Blind Factory. The little old log cabin that stands in the lane will do in poetry or to use in a political campaign, but in these days we prefer to live in a nice house, fitted up with elegant blinds and s^sh manufactured by the enterprising lirm of Go through their facte ry and see the business they are doing, both in the home market and elsewhere. No. 100— Merchant Tailor. The other day in New York a merchant tailor was arrested for cutting with intent to lit. Oar fellow-towrsman , not only cuts with intent tu tit, but does fit, as the elegant .appe Tunce of his customers testify. He could make even a county comLnissioiier look stylish if yotx give him the chance. Then what's the use of a mati looking dowdy and behind the times, when Mr. stands ready to get up elegnut suits for unybtdy who has the caeh^ No. loi Baker. Fe. fo fl, fani, I smell good bread from tho baker man, And cakee and tarts and biscuits, too, ha'j them all for mo and j'ou ; And loAVca of bread of different shapes. And rusk and pies ?.iil cliocolato cakes, .And .junibloa rich, .md fancy rolls, You scarcely can choose to save your souls. Then fo, to, ti, funi, Ah.-ays buy of , tho bakt'r man. (The fe, fo, tl, funi, to be said very slowly.) No, 102— Marble Yard. Life is sweet, but death is sure, and we love to mark the Inst resting place of our departed friends with a hsUKUome inoTiument. lia^- them of ;ill kinds and designs. Shafts, columns find bl cks f)f rich grai ite or marble from the Italian quarriei?. employs none luit competent workmen, and you may re^t assured that if you eive yoiu* ^^rdor to you will be more than satisfied. (A few girls draped as statuary is pretty.) No. 103— Stationery. Henry Clay said he'd rather be riirht thnn ho ''resident, and that's just the way with———, the popular stationer. He'd rather t-al the crowd his pens, ink, letter paper, blank books and school supplies than he would to bo preii- ilont of a base ball club. He kc'ps the best line of stationery in the city. So come and buy of , wlio alsvays trios lo suit. About hi^ lino of btalioncry you'll lltid no o?io is mute. They'll all aKrce in a shout bolli loim and deep That has the finest. Just go and lake a peep At his novy line of wall paper in styles 8(j now and cheap And son if you don'r. join the chorus — does lioep The best line ot stationery in the city. ,-•'', SSfrp^-^' Wl »' 20 ti Mv M I No. 104— Fancy Store or Millicery. ' " The rose is red, the violet's blue, Candy is sweet" and eo are the pretty things has for — street. Beads to sf t off the w hiteneea of yonr neck, tinsels and sale on ■ exquisite silk flosses of rainbow hues thing half so pretty nor so tasteful as Of all sweet things on earth or sky, To suit the ladies or please the eye, Ribbons and ruchings and beads of pearls, To put round the necks of the dear sweet girls* Solomon in all his glory hadn't any- di-plays in her stock. And perfumes and powders to keep in their curls. So if any fair damsel should ask you to toll her Where she must go to get them to sell her Such notions as these, say . No. 105— Barrister. David said in his haste that all men were liixrs, but he would not dare dis- pute the statement that the firm of are the best liars — I mean barristers — in the country. Who hath wie? Who hath contention? Who wants justice done to him 1 Let him employ the skilful barristers , who are the brighest legal lights this side of the Atlantic Ocean. Tbay will be happy to see you and attend promptly to your busine.'js. cffice on street. No. io6~Doctor's Speech. The flowers that bioom in the spring — tra la, la, arc very foine, but not so sphlendid as the great Dr. , who blesses and blossoms all the year round, sending out hailing to the afflicted. If you're halt and wake and lame. Sure ! he can cure that same ! If your lungs are diseased An' you're all ihe time coughin' (coughs), He'll cure you up ethrong And sind jou home laughin', Ha! ha! (Holds her sides and laughs heartily.) If you're crippled wid roomatiz, And hobble on crutches, He'Jl cure tou right up, and You'll walk straight as a Duchess. You'll throw down your sticks. (Cast down her crutches). In your back there'll be no cricks. And from that very hour You'll bless Dr. . (Ituns off stage as if cured). (In Irish dialect. Girl to wear a large plaid shawl, old bonnet with frilled cap on under it. Hobbles in on crutches.) No. 107.— Music Teacher. And sing in ^ood style a musical rhyme. Then pick, pick, piuk! or tini;. ting, ting! And hear tho banjo click ; 'tis the soft man- dolin. But whether oivan, piano or harp. Whether played in B flat or F sharp. On thid viie fact all folks a e agreed. That as a fine teacher, Prof. takes the: lead. In this age of the world, 'tis a settled thing. That your children all should pray and sing. To T\in the piano and thrum the guitar. To manage the scales and repeat every bar. If a teacher you're seeking, select only the best, Miss (or Prof.) is the person far ahead of the rest. Who will toach you to play in "double quick time," No. Z08.— Bank. Do you think it funny. To be without money ? When at the Bank They keep a big tank Filled fullof gold And greenbacks all rolled. Just ready to loan out to people wlio are needing it? Busiooss would soon come standstill if we hadn't such an excellent bank as the . No. 109.— Florist. to a F»ir is the kingcup that in meadow blows. Fair is the daisy that beside her grows, But fairer yet are florist's flowero so new. And that has them is a fact quite true. Love was cradled in a rose, And as the blossom buds and blows, And th(! fragrant lily, snowy and fair, An emblem of purity, spotless, rare, Theii rich perfume to the air they pour. They are grown in beauty with hundred» more By the florist. (Tosses a flower occasionally to the audionco .while reciting.^ Jb 21 No. no.— Merchant Tailor. (Tune to chorus, " Go tell Aunt Rhorty the old gray goose is dead •Cassimeres and cloths of every grade, «rm- ing goodB that line counters. The ladies are taken with his laces. Tbe babies are taken with his white goods and embroideries, and the papas take him the money. No. 118— Restaurant. Five, six — Pick up sticks — that U drumsticks and chicken pre^Eed turkey and jelly cake, and all tnose delicacies that customers on at his restaurant on street. wings and cold — -^ feasts hi& Pies and cakes of every sort, In making them he has found his forte. No. 119 — Clothing. Three, four — Open the door and step right into -'s clothing store and look at those magnificent gold handled umbrellas and lovely suspenders and hosiery. And neckware sweet, and mufflers too. And pantaloons of every hue ; And the people rush in till it makes one dizzy to look at them. No. 120— Grocery. Kine, ten — A good fat hen or a tender toothsome chicken such as ;|^ou get at grocery, where you will find luscious tropical fruits, berries in their season, choice teas and pure cofiees, besides vegetables and candy. You can't get his customeis away from him if you'd try all day. Some people might think he used Spalding's prepared glue lO hold them, but it's the fine quality of the goods he (fells that makes the people stick to him. (Let the girls come forward by fours, two from each column making a four. Separate by couples at front, exchange partners as in first division, and follow tnose directions till ready to leave the stage, instead of which they meet again at back and make fours march toward front and a litile to the right so as to bring the end girl on the left in center of sta^e. She must stop walking forward and let the others turn round her, while she moves with them marking time. The second four come forward to the place where the first began to turn and make the second spoke. As each turns from the first position, another four takes its place with the end girl's shoulder touching tlie end girl of the first four, making a wheel. After turning twice, \vncn the first four face the back again, let them march straight up and turn by fours, march to front, divide by couples fall in right and left from back, by couples, divide in front, and lead ott' single file at back.) ill MISCELLANEOUS. ' No. 121— Music Dealers. A unique way to represent a music store will be "Three Little Maids from School " as given in the " Mikado," in Chinese dresses of draped piano covers. Carry fans with the name of the piano they are reprtsenting on them, in front of their faces as they come running forward on their toes, and lower them as they make their bow. After their concert recitation, they run back the same way, with their fans held at the back of their heads, name out. (All.) I wish that all tho world could hear Three little maids from school are we The lovely Piano. And fond of music as fond can be And come to let you know that we ( All ) Like best the Piano. Three little maids from school, we say We love to practice all the day. (Middle Girl.) We'd rather practice now than play Its tones are like a song bird's, clear. Because we've the — — piano It stays in tune from year to year. ,- 23 No. 122— Flour Mill. (This speech can be applied to any brand liavinK a floral name, as May Flower, Orangu Blossonm, etc.) 8 will trim a bride. is the housewife's pride, The one is a ttovver and so is the other, But the last is delicious when baked by your mother. The best cooks prefer the flour, Your bread svill rise and bake in an hour, Then uhc only the flour from the mill And twill taste so good you will scarce get your till. No. 123— Dry Goods. Buffalo Bill has traveled around 'MoDg tne English and gay Parisians, And says that loads the world In goods of latest fashions. Tho English people put on style And tne ladies of Paris dress gay, But Huffalo Bill has seen nothing there That touches 'a display. Bill says the European cities are fine But none so fine as our own. And Queen Vic. told him she'd buy all her Koods From the store alone. Such trimmings, such cashmeres, such satins, Such everything lovely for dresses, A finer display was ne'er made in this town Which accounts for successes. No. 124— Grocer. The lorgsst pole doesn't always knock the per.«immons, but the man who tries hardest to please the people is the one who gets the most trade. Such a man u our esteemed fellow-townsman, Mr. ■ , who knows how to knock down the bargains in eroceries. He's a man of judgment, and knows good butter from bnd. Neither will he palm off stale eggd or antediluvian chickens on you. Ho is a hu?tler from Hustlerville. He has onions which can't fail to make you weep. And Wrooms so well made tis a pleasure to sweep. On your Carpets ihey ne'er leave behind them a wisp. And his lettuce is splendid so fresh and so crisp. No. 125— Shoe Store. "■Will you walk into my shoe store?" said to the crowd. 'Tis the very nicest shoe store, of my stock I can well be proud. The way into my shoe store is an easy one to tlud For all the town are rushing there, to purchase slippers, boots and shoes just suited to their minds. They've soft shoes for Indies that ecnrcely make a noise. They have slippers for babies and heavy shoes for boys. And tine boots for gentlemen, and a stock of rubbers, too, And everything about their store is nice and fresh and new. No. 126— Grocers and Queensware. How doth the little busy bee improve each shining hour? Why simply by going to the preat emporium of trade owned by and watching the cus- tomers flock in to buy groceries and lovely queensware of smiling and his obliging clerks. There goods are fresh and choice as honey, So come and buy and leave your money. There arc rows upon rows of cans of tomatoes, And boxes and baskets of finest potatoes, Here are boxes of plants and u package of seed?. Whicli will warrant your garden to be quite free from weeds. Here's a radish and turnips, canned fish and canned corn, Whate'er fou may wish can your table adorn. If you'll only remember when to market you go. To look at tho goods has to show. nrn 24 No. 127 -f locliicf. (lood people, 1 hope (liat you'll not lliliik luc rudo ir 1 herewith liiy downsoiiiu riiU'tt for a diidu. The fellow who makes his toilet with taro Aixl bnishcii and curia each Hopamtu hair, Of his lovoiy and very much choritthed niouHtaehe, 1h the ono who on clothob upends i !' hia Hpuru cash. He'll the follow who'rt bound ho won't bo poorly dronsod, Itfi the fellow who wants thu most stylish and boit Krom the solos of hia foi't to the crown of his liat, lie's bound to look dudish, you know, and all that. (She weare a duster and at this point takes it olF to display her coatuine.) Don't you like my appearance .' iJoo't you think I look .swell .' Where I KOt my clothes wouldn't you like luo to tell .' Well, I will, I'm not at all soltlah, you see, i was furnished throuKhout by . No. 1 28 -Bank. Money is siiid to be the root of nil evil but w»^ like to know how you ore going to run tlie world without it? At the B^nk thpre i.s plenty of money which the polite ofKcials will bo glad to loan to you, anu tliey are e.«pecially glad lOBce a depositor; when your pocket-book needs tilling go to Bank. No. 129— Umbrellas, Canes. Out in the rain— droy)- drip— drop, And a elasi) lo hold them tightly— It seems as if the rain would nfi:cr st op ; You'll find all kinds at Oh ! pshaw ! my dear fullow, Ho h\iy an umbrella; For scvero and stormy weather. Bo it black, white or yi^llow. Well made and stronK as leather, It will suve your pruimllo. Or dainty as a feather. (»o buy an lunbrella— of . You'll huo a 1 sorts together, at "With handles carved so lightly, So graceful and so sightly, Or silver shining brightly, And cnncs, with heads of gold. Or oxydiz ■uch. .And then for dainty puddings, and mo.st delicate desserls Youll find they never were excelled, for arc exports. You know 'tis used in chewing gum, and tho very finest candy, I assure you 'tis a blessed thing to have these flavors handy. ' 'Oh ! what delightful flavors ! " cried the ladies with one voice, "Of all the rtavoring extracts, 'tis that's our choice. No. 175— Books, Stationery & Wall Paper. At "s bookstore, 'Oh what a great pity. Of the very best kind. That in our sweet little city, We can't all be rich. And lovely wall paper of every style. But wealth for the mind KoU upon roll, and pile upon pile ; "Wo always can find. And boxc.i of stationery, oltar of roses. And all kinds of perfumes for delicate noses. 32 No. 176— Mile End, O. N. T. (or any knd of Thread.) A little babe lay in its cradln one day, It looked so cuto with its little bald head. Its gown was trimm'd so dainty and fine, And sewed entirely with tliroad. This baby developed to a bright little lass, Gar was her laugh and light was her tread. And her mtimma still made her beam if ul clothes With the strong and durable thread. The little lass grew to a maiden tall. Her eyes were blue and her cheeks so rod. And her tailor-made suits and party gov.ns Were put together with thn ad. And now on the scene a young man came, A young man of muscle and whiskerit red. And fell madly in love with this beautiful' girl. Whose clothing was made with — —thread. And he called her bis da/ling— angel and dove, As youngr fel! nvsdo who want you to wed, Butshecoolly informed him that she'd marry no man Who did not prefer the thread. You can get It of . {Oirl unwindu spool of thread tohile reciting.) No. 177— Art Empor.'um. Othei's have spoken of things to eat. and others agedn of clothing to wear. But people who want a genuine treat must see goods so rich and rare. And colorings brilliant or soft as the skies, At prices so low that you'll open jour eyes And wonder and woiader in the greatest surprise. And then you'll acknowledge thevf^ are not any flies On Art Emporium. We ought to make life more than a duty. And will help us to fill it with beauty; At his Art Emporium he spreads a repast, A feast for the eye that will always Inst ; Bronzes and statues and pictures and frames Which he has collected at greatest of pains. And easels and crayons and artists' supplier No. 178 -Real Estate. Are you planning to buy yourself a lot? One u.^ cheap as can be bo't ? Then are the Arm. Hustle IS in real estate, them we term. They'll take you round to view their land. You luust purchase quick— it's in demand. With prices low, and time for pay mentslongr 'Tisa very grrttt pity, if each one m our city Can't buy a lot 'or the traditional song. They loan, they insure, they invest, • ^ will tell you the rest. No. 179 — Manufacture of Hay Rakes, Plows, Iron Goods, &c. 'tis a well known nnme. And they do a big business, Jupt the same. For the plows they make have given them fame. And their Hayrakes ar.d are all that they claim. The farmers all dott* on the tine cultivators, ' Which help them ea'!h year get six crops of per-tatera. And they have other machines too tedious to niention, But which is worth more to a man than a pension. No. 180— Natural Gas. My friends. Is martiage a failure ? 1 answer, not when the family nee3 natural gap. The question of which one shall get up in the morning to start th? fires has heen the cause of num- berleM divorces. Oh ! then husbands be warned in time and have it pat in your houses immediately. How we pity the people Alack ! and ^ las 1 Who have to live without natural gas, With their ashes and smoke. Their dirty coal and coke. They are indeed objects of pity, and ought to send their orders im- mediately to No. 181— Wire Screens. Shoo Fly! don't bother me. Shoo Fly ! don't bother me! But people are not bothered if thf y have screen doors and windows. They were invented to make women hippy, and keep them young and pretty. Remember there are no flies on the Wirc^Window i:creen Manu- factory of^ i7r to edges, hc9piog iix& and making it click in imitation of a tamb jurine ) ) g man came, L whiskers red. this beautiful' h — —thread. ig— angel and ,nt yon to wed, at ahe'd marry hread. ihile reciting.) wear, id rare. t as the skies, )cn jour eyes the greatest thei'9i are not riuin. )ayment8long, ine in our city onal song. nvest, , &c. )n of which useofnum- ^e it put in ordeis im- i windows, young and re en Manu- out and dusb [rm mannfac- hceplng ciiLe