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A., (HARVARD) AUTHOR OF "ACADIAN LEGENDS AND LYRICS," ETC.; TEACHER OF ENGLISH LITERATURE AND RHETORIC, AND LECTURER ON MODERN THOUGHT, IN NEW YORK SCHOOLS NEW YORK FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY MDCCCXC 1^1 I -"I tx3 ^ VJ5 ^ r. 1.1 * J I. /■■■it Copyright, 1890, By FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY w PREFACE. The art of letter-writing properly demands consider- ation in a series of books on " Good Form," for there are not many arts so universal or so necessary, and there are to-day too few accomplished letter-writers. Especially useful must a little volume like the present prove in schools where careful attention has to be given to this subject in its details. The frequent reference here made to English use, has seemed necessary to the author from the fact that in most things, and certainly in literature, the stand- ards of the best English society are properly those that have always been followed by the best American society. Among famous letter-writers have been Madame de Sevigne, Samuel Pepys, Arthur Wilson, Alexander Pope, Lord Chesterfield, Lady Mary Wortley Mon- tagu, Lady Russell, Horace Walpole, Edward Gibbon, Hannah More, William Cowper, John Adams, and his wife, George Canning, Sydney Smith, Charles Lamb, Robert Southey, John Wilson, Miss Burney, the Coun- tess of Blessington, Thomas de Quincey, Margaret Fuller, William M. Thackeray, and Mrs. Carlyle. <>• ll .^'r' '','"''" '1 1i ^ ■ i r- m^ <» CONTENTS. PAGE The Art of Letter-Writing, . . . . .9 Construction of Sentences, 12 Choice of Words 14 Spelling, Abbreviations, Underlining, ... 16 Neatness, 17 Paper, Ink, Pen, 18 Size and Shape of Paper, 21 Address and Date, 22 Monograms, 25 Coats of Arms and Crests, 27 Envelope, Seai, Superscription, 32 Punctuation on the Envelope, 36 City Addresses . .39 The Beginning AND Ending OF Letters, ... 41 Letters to Tradesmen and Servants, . . . .47 Letters Written in the Third Person, ... 48 Invitations and Their Answers, 50 Postscripts, 54 Letters of Congratulation, Condolence, etc., . 55 Ill-Tempered Le'iters, 57 Anonymous Letters, 59 Letters to Absent Friends, 60 5 CONTENTS. Entiu'siam; Kind Words in Leiters, . lUsiNEss Letters, Post Cards Answering Letters, Jokes ; Egotism ; Haste, etc., Keeping Letters, Writing Materials for Guests, .... Forms of Address in Writing to Public Men, Officers of the Army and Navy, etc., Forms of Address in Writing to Distinguished Englishmen or Englishwomen, PAGE 6l 1 62 1 64 >■ 6S 'i 66 68 69 X/ 70 73 ■•■■|| § i % " True ease in writing comes from art, not chance, As those move easiest who have learned to dance." Pope, Essay on Criticism. " In nothing can good or bad form be shown more clearly than in one's correspondence, under which may be included letters to friends, notes both formal and informal, invitations, answers to invitations, business letters, and letters to tradespeople." Good Form in England, " Letter-writing is in fact, but conversation carried on with the pen when distance or circumstances forbid the easier method of exchanging ideas by spoken words." " First-rate quality in any commodity— material, mental, moral, or spiritual, is not to be had for the asking. But pleasant, cheery, happy letters, such letters as — like the quality of mercy are twice blest ; courteous, graceful letters such as win young people friends and go far to keep such friends in good humor ; hearty, affectionate letters, such as strike the chords of love and awaken mysterious tremors in response ; letters that tend to keep us at our best and to protect us from sinking down to our worst — these any one may write who is not too indolent to take the trouble and not possessed by the delusion that accomplishments come by nature as spots do upon the leopard's hide." Augustus Jessopp, In Nineteenth Century Review^ August, 1886. >n GOOD FORM LETTER-WRITING THE ART OF LETTER-WRITING. It is often said that letter-writing has gone out of fashion, by which is meant that the lo;Tg, formal epis- tles, descriptive or sentimental, of our grandparents or great-grandparents, are almost iiever written now. Ver> ijiarming, very quaint and amusing, some of those letters were, with their minute descriptions, shrewd and clever observations, precise epithets, bro- caded compliments, and stilted forms of address and subscription. Undoubtedly long letters are still written, but the newspapers make detailed descriptions of all public and most private events no longer neces- sary ; and even letters of sentiment are written now in a style more brief and colloquial than in old times. Where our forefathers, following strictly orthographic and epistolary rules, would have written a few long letters, we commonly write a multitude of brief, hur- ried notes. Indeed we live so rapidly, have so many things to see and do, and so little time to see and do 9 10 GOOD FORM, them in, that long, studied letters are no longer possi- ble. As a rule we are compelled to write in the brief intervals of business or pleasure, amidst a hundred dis- tractions of mind, and with little sense of satisfaction in our work. Yet letter-writing will never cease to be necessary, nor will it ever cease to be, like dancing, a graceful art to be learned as any other art is learned, by patient exercise. The inheritance of refined taste, association with well-bred people, and a kind heart, go far toward making rules for letter-writing unnecessary, but there are always points on which people, especially young people, need instruction, if they would fulfil all the just requirements of this art. Letter-writing being first of all a necessary means of communication between people of the same or differ ent social grades should satisfy the demands of utility, beauty or grace, and good feeling. On these three prin ciples all rules for correspondence should be based and whatever fads or whims may for the moment hap pen locally to prevail, it will be found that the best society everywhere recognizes as inflexible only such laws as tend to the greatest advancement of the ends of utility, grace, and good feeling. Consequently, there are here, as in every other department of life, no fixed laws or rules which exist without reasons for their ex- istence. To one or another of the three principles I have mentioned are to be referred all the rules and suggestions I shall give in the following pages. THE ART OF LETTER-WRITING, II The ordinary rules of composition and grammar ex- tend with full force to letter-writing. In any composi- tion, one, having first of all something to say, before writing should take a little time to arrange his thought, and then should try to express himself in the best and clearest way. CONSTRUCTION OF SENTENCES. g* In the framing of sentences a few simple rules must be kept in mind and strictly followed. Here are the most important : (a) In every sentence we frame, the common rules of grammar must be observed. (d) In the making of sentences two things are especially to be sought, — clearness and force. (c) Sentences should, therefore, never be long and involved : each sentence should be made to convey but one principal thought. (//) Circumlocutions, and fine writing should be avoided : one should write directly and simply. (e) We should always make it clear to what nouns personal and relative pronouns are meant to refer. (/) The proper sequence of the tenses of verbs must be observed. (g) The auxiliaries ska// and wi// must be correctly used. (^) Each new sentence must begin with a capital letter. 12 CONSTRUCTION OF SENTENCES. 13 (/) The ordinary rules of punctuation should be strictly regarded throughout. (y) Adjectives or epithets, should be fitly chosen, and the same adjectives not be too often repeated ; yet in the choice of adjectives, as in the choice of other words, pedantic strictness should be avoided. (k) Care should be taken to give adverbs, and adverbial phrases, like only, even, also, at least, etc., exactly their proper places in the sentence, as, by neglect of this rule, the thought in the sentence may be considerably changed. (/) In correspondence, as in conversation, a grace- ful, flowing style should be cultivated. Sentences should follow each other naturally and easily, each sen- tence rather growing out of the preceding than bemg newly introduced. Abruptness in writing like abrupt- ness in speech or manner is always objectionable. CHOICE OF WORDS. Herbert Spencer, in his " Philosophy of Style/' like most good writers on rhetoric, has much to say about the superiority, in general, of words derived from Saxon, to words derived from Latin roots. On this point, also, Prof. A. S. Hill, in his " Principles of Rhetoric," and " Our English," has some judicious remarks. The conclusion of both writers is that while one should aim to use strong, vigorous, simple words, he should never hesitate when his subject seems to require it, to use words of greater elegance, words that come, directly or indirectly, from the Latin, or the Greek. As a rule, however, fine words such as avails preclude^ individual^ for man, species for kind, gentleman^ and lady, when it is possible, as it usually is, to say, man and woman, Creator for God, alliance iox marriage, retire, for go to bed, erect, for build, limb, for leg, and the like are to be avoided. " It is not well-bred per- sons," says Professor Hill, " who are ashamed to use the brief, simple, definite, ordinary words which natu- rally come to the lips." In letter-writing, as in conversation, words not in 14 CHOICE OF WORDS. 15 good use and common slang should be rejected. No well-bred person will drift into the use of vulgarisms like the words toney, high-toned, elegant, for agreeable or nice, girls, for maids, saleslady, for saleswoman, real (nice or good), rustler, and hustler. To those who feel themselves deficient in the art of correct expression, and indeed to all persons inter- ested in the English tongue, I earnestly recommend Professor Hill's books mentioned above— books of special interest and suggestive ness ; and no young writer should be without Rev. Edwin A. Abbott's « How to Write Clearly," a small, inexpensive, valua- ble book. I'll! SPELLING, ABBREVIATIONS, UNDERLINING. Many persons do not naturally spell well, and so are obliged to keep a dictionary always at hand. Such persons should never write a word, about the proper spelling of which they are uncertain, without looking it up. Bad spelling like bad grammar, is an offence against society. In the body of a letter, numerals must not be used except as dates and to indicate the numbers of houses ; quantities should always be fully written out. Abbreviations are likewise inadmissible. " Shall go," for I shall go, "sd." for should, " wd." for would, " wh." for which, etc., are wrong. Above all things never abbreviate people's names, as "Mrs. A." or " Miss B." Rarely underline a word. Your correspondent is expected to be able to give the proper emphasis to each word in your sentence. t6 NEATNESS. Never send out a scrawled or blotted or otherwise untidy note or letter. Such a letter will be an eyesore to him who receives it, and its writer will accordingly suffer in his estimation. Keep always a good supply of clean blotting-paper on your desk or table, and use it freely. M 17 v ■ w m, W' :i PAPER, INK, PEN. The paper to be used for social correspondence should be either white or cream-tinted. Strict good form does not recognize the use of colored papers. Nor are papers with a fancy finish of any sort allow- able. Plain white English paper, of good quality, either smooth or with a dead finish, is always correct. The Princess of Wales, or the Duchess of Edinburgh, would use such paper for her notes. Tinted papers are much used in this country, but however delicate and pretty they may be, they are never so refined as white or cream-t'.nted papers. Lined papers must never be used for social corre- spondence; they are extremely bad form. Every person should be taught to write evenly without lines, and to preserve proper distances between his lines. In notes it is much better to leave a small margin on each side of the page, if one can do so. But the margin must not be too wide, and the writing should cover the part written as evenly as possible, no one 18 ' PAPER, INK, PEN. 19 line extending far beyond another. A crowded look- ing, or unevenly covered page is very bad. When people are in mourning they should use black edged paper for all their notes. In this country many people are not so particular about this as in Europe, nor are those who use mourning paper so careful to have the width of the black edge vary with the degrees of relationship to the dead. In England when a husband or a wife dies, the survivor may use paper with an edge at least half an inch wide. In America this would be very conspicuous, and would seem to make an undue parade of one's grief, but there is an evident propriety in using at different times mourning paper of different widths of border. There is a delicate sentiment in all such matters that should not be ignored. It was a local fashion, some time ago, to use violet ink, but colored inks are never correct. Black ink, and that alone, should be used for all correspondence, and ink should always be of the best quality, so that it may look well, and not fade. Quill pens are now comparatively little used, but like other hand-made articles, they are always more highly valued than steel pens, the products of machin- ery, and the people who can use them comfortably are to be envied. The stub pen approaches the quill more nearly than any other, and is almost wholly used by graceful letter-writers. Its use is to be com- mended. 20 GOOD FORM. f, :, i In business, fine handwriting is admissable; in social correspondence the handwriting should be bold and graceful, and bear no marks of the writing school, or the business college. Flourishes and elaborate cap- itals are always in very bad taste. SIZE AND SHAPE OF PAPER. There are three leading sizes of note-paper, known to stationers as commercial^ octavo^ and billet. For long letters, or in general for men's use, the largest or commercial size, is that commonly chosen. Its average size is 7^X4^ inches. If this paper is folded once, an envelope 5x4 inches in size is used, but if twice, the envelope may be oblong, and measure 5^X3^ inches. For ordinary notes and short letters this paper is unnecessarily large, and the size most popular for these is octavo, which measures 7X4>^ inches, and is properly folded once to fit an envelope measuring 4^x3^ inches. For invitations, or answers to invitations the billet size is most correct. This measures about 63^x4 inches, and has an envel- ope to fit measuring about 4^x3/^ inches. Paper should always be purchased which folds in the common way, so that the pages may turn like the leaves of a book ; sheets which turn from the bottom upwards must never be used. Noticeably large or very small stationery is not good form, the one looks clumsy, the other mean. Refinement may be shown in the size as well as the quality and color of the paper chosen for correspondence. 21 ADDRESS AND DATE. 5 1 4. In the upper right hand corner of the paper, not too high up, or else in the middle of the sheet, near the top, may be printed in black, or in color, or be simply embossed, the address of the writer. If the address be that of the writer's country house, it is desirable to have the name of the nearest railway station and telegraph office in the upper left hand corner. The rule as to the position of the printed address is very simple. If no crest or monogram or other address appear on the sheet the address looks more graceful in the middle of the sheet ; if a crest is printed in the upper left hand corner, the address must come in the upper right hand corner. It is however quite correct, and especially on small note-paper, to print the address in the middle of the sheet near the top, and the crest directly above. In an English note which I lately received, the paper is printed as follows : 22 AVVA'^SS A AD DA IE. 23 v-^ ."O ROWFANT, Crawley, Sussex. and the date is written to the right of the word Sussex blw In another, however, which comes from the town house of a nobleman, the address .s prtnted m the right hand corner of the sheet : S4 EATON PLACE S. W. In this case the date is written just below the ad- ''' Another English note from a person of high stand- ing has the address as follows : I, Marloes Road, Kensington, W. The date here also is written directly under the word " Kensington." . The position of the date, in notes which have the wnt er's address pnnted, is perhaps a matter o question Some o£ the most graceful notes I have lately received Lhough having the address printed -/^e "ght *,«kI corner at the top, have the date written at the end. 24 GOOD FORM, To my mind this is preferable. Tliere is no strong reason why the address and date should come to- gether, and it gives the note a more finished look to have the date written gracefully at the end, in the lower left hand corner. If the address is not printed, it is more commonly written at the end, with the date below it. In letters the address and date may properly be written either at the beginning, or at the end. In business letters, where both need to be conspicuous, it is undoubtedly better to put them at the beginning. In other letters it is perhaps more graceful to put them at the end. But there is no fixed rule in the matter except in the case of notes of invitation, where both must always come at the end. It is an admirable plan to have one's address printed on his paper : it is unpretentious, yet it gives the note or letter a more elegant look, it saves writing the address, and it prevents any possible confusion regarding the place to which an answer should be sent. No letter should ever be sent out undated. The date should be written either "July lo, 1890," or "July tenth," or "loth." Correspondence cards, which are perfectly good form and very convenient, often have the day of the week engraved at the top. This is quite correct. In familiar notes, where one's address is well known, it is unnecessary to write the nime of the street or the number. MONOGRAMS. The monogram when used at all, if the address is not printed, should be in the middle of the page. If the address comes in the right hand corner, the mon- ogram must come in the left. Monograms are often very pretty, and especially for young ladies, who are not suffered to use crests, they may be considered sufficiently good form. The writer of "Good Form in England," however, is of the opinion that in Eng- land, while not exactly bad form, monograms cannot be regarded as strictly good form. Monograms should in no case appear on the envel- ope. That should be perfectly plain unless it bear the crest of the writer, or be sealed with red or black sealing-wax, which may be stamped with the writer's crest if he own one, or with his initial, or a small mon- ogram. To have the writer's initials conspicuously printed across the left hand corner of the sheet, thus. ^• ^- 25 Kms'd 26 GOOD FORM, looks egotistical. To have them in the middle of the sheet is quite as bad. If one have no crest he should use a good monogram or nothing. Monograms should be neat and artistic. Like the address they should be printed in colors pleasant to the eye, harsh reds and greens especially being avoided. A mono- gram may be printed in several colors without violat- ing good taste. COATS OF ARMS AND CRESTS. The science of heraldry should be far better known than it is. It is a science full of dignity, and there are few more interesting departments, if not of history, of antiquarian research. Sir Walter Scott makes Di Ver- non say to Frank Osbaldistone with half indignant sur- prise, "What! is it possible? not know the figures of Heraldry ! Of what could your father be thinking ? " In European countries interest in heraldry is, of course, more widespread than here, and its laws are better un- derstood, but among well-bred people in this country, the subject is by no means ignored. Coats of arms were originally badges of social distinction, and when people attain position they naturally still wish for the traditional badge. Coats of arms are of no value however, but rather expose those who use them to ridi- cule if they are borne otherwise than by undoubted inheritance. There are families in America who can show an equal right to their coats of arms as to their family names, but it is well known that there are people who cannot trace their ancestry for three gen- erations; who do not even know who their earliest 27 23 GOOD FORM. ancestor in this country was, much less to whom they are related in Europe, who ostentatiously bear arms. A fashionable stationer has lately told me that in sev- eral instances he has been asked by rich people to find a crest for them. They did not even prescribe that it should be one borne by an English family of the same name, but merely that it should be a pretty crest. Another says that he has frequently been asked by customers to find for them the finest crest belonging to any family of the same name as that borne by them- selves. Very few well-bred families abroad use quarterings, preferring to have their arms as simple as possible ; but there is a story told of an American family in Paris who had had stamped on a set of china a coat of arms with so many quarterings that people who happened to see it in passing the shop where it was displayed, used to ask eagerly what noble duke owned it. Other similar stories come to us now and then from abroad, which would be amusing if they were not so dis- creditable to American civilization. If arms are not inherited, it is an offence against society to bear them. Families whose earliest ancestors in this country, nine or ten generations ago brought here a coat of arms on book plates, or parchments, or old silver, may be pretty sure that they have a right to bear arms. People who, through recent researches, have become well assured that to some ancestor in Europe, in the fourteenth, fifteenth, or sixteenth \ COA TS OF AHMS AND CRESTS. 29 century, arms were granted, have likewise a right to them, but it is to be feared that, as a rule, the people in American cities who bear arms most con- spicuously, have simply taken them without any regard to ownership. There are few names of British origin in America that are not likewise still found in Britain, but only patient genealogical research can make us sure of our relationship to these families, and this re- quires the work of honest, trained genealogists, of whom there are many both in Great Britain and America. ?or a very moderate sum any American family of English or Scottish descent can have its genealogy traced, if it is possible to trace it, and then its mem- bers will know whether they may rightfully bear arms or not. Such an inheritance is very valuable, and unless a coat of arms originating in Britain has come down in one's family, from generation to generation, and the ancestral line is already traced, money spent for genealogical and heraldic research will be well spent. In a better state of civilization the people of America will not use coats of arms until they can prove their inherited right to do so. Those who have a right to arms must, in using them, observe the following rules : Coats of arms may be used on carriages, and on any part of the harness of horses where arms are ever put ; but crests alone may be put on the buttons of servants' liveries, and on horses' blinkers. Crests alone, never ■ 1 1 30 GOOD FORM. % V I full arms, must be used on seals and silver and on paper and envelopes. To print the crest in its own color is more strictly correct, but it may properly be printed in any color, or in gold or silver, or be simply embossed. If the address is not printed it is better to have the crest in the middle of the paper. If the address is printed in the middle, the crest must be directly above ; if in the upper right hand corner, the crest must be in the upper left. The motto if there be one properly belongs with the crest. It is quite right for any male descendant of a man who has properly borne arms to use the family crest, but the full coat of arms belongs rightfully to the head of the house alone and may be borne by the younger branches only by being differeficed. In this country where new arms cannot be granted, it is certainly par- donable for any one, whether of an older or a younger branch of a family, to bear the full arms of his ances- tor. Ladies do not properly bear arms at all, unless they are heiresses. The use of arms, or even of a crest on her paper, by a young lady would be extremely bad form. Abroad even married ladies, except those of high rank, are very chary in their use. Here where we have no titles and where arms serve merely as a graceful connecting link with the past, I do not think Xh?^ women should be wholly debarred from the use of COA TS OF ARMS AND CRESTS. 31 at least crests. At any rate, the use of the family seal may always be granted them. An Englishman in New York, the only son of a titled Londoner, tells me that he permits his American wife to use the fam- ily crest, but only in connection with her printed address. A married lady can, of course, use only her husband's crest. Two coats of arms can never be used by one person, but sons, or daughters if they be heir- esses, may quarter their mother's arms in the regular way. A man can never use his wife's arms. No American should, under any circumstances, use a crest on a visiting card. Arms should be borne un- ostentatiously, and when we have established our right to bear them, we should carefully study the rules of heraldry so as to commit no solecism in their use. There are fixed laws for the use of arms from which we have no right to depart, and there are hand-books of heraldry which will enlighten us concerning these laws. Americans should be especially careful to em- ploy in their genealogical and heraldic researches only persons properly recommended, for here as everj^where else many charlatans are to be found. By application to the librarians of the New York Biographical and Genealogical Society, 23 West 44th St., and the Secre- tary of the New England Historic Genealogical Society, Somerset St., Boston, the addresses of reliable persons for genealogical and heraldic research can at any time be learned. Kl ^ r, i; ENVELOPE, SEAL, SUPERSCRIPTION. The best English pronunciation of the first syllable of the word envelope approaches as nearly as possible the French sound of en, a sound between on and ong. The accent is properly on the first, not the second syl- lable. The envelope should always be of the same quality and color as the paper it is to enclose, and should be as nearly as possible the size of the paper folded once. For social purposes stamped envelopes are never used. The gummed envelope, without a seal is perfectly correct, but a neat seal of red sealing-wax always gives a refined look to a letter and is a desirable adjunct thereto. Every one should have an engraved seal containing the initial letter of his surname, his mono- gram, or if he be so fortunate as to own one, his crest, and should use it with red sealing wax on ceremonious notes and letters. If the writer is in mourning black sealing wax should, of course, be used, but no other colors except black and red are good form. " To get a good impression from your seal," says Mrs. Sherwood, 32 ENVELOPE, SEAL, SUPERSCRIPTION 33 "you may first rub it with linseed oil, then dust it with a little rough powder ; and then press it quickly and firmly on the wax." Every lady's desk should have on it a wax taper, a seal, and a large stick of red or black sealing wax. The impression must not be made with anything save a proper seal. When finished the seal should show neatness and care. The envelope should have printed on it no monogram or other device, ex- cept it be the crest. The direction or superscription of a letter should be as graceful as possible. It is this that first meets the eye and it should be in such good taste that the re- ceiver would be unconsciously attracted towards the contents of the letter. A refined letter like a well-bred man or woman should, on the outside show unmistak- able marks of refinement. In directing a letter to a gentleman or a man recog- nized as a gentleman, never by any chance preface his name with Mr. In England the well-known rule is to use Mr, to tradesmen and mechanics, but never to men of recognized social position. In this country the conditions are somewhat different, but here as there, the line can easily be drawn. If we should write for a plumber to inspect our gas pipes we should, of course, address him as " Mr. John Jones," but if our letter was to a professional man or a person of any social standing in the community we should scru- pulously address him as " John Jones Esquire," the Esquire or EsqW., being written with a capital E. No 3 34 GOOD FORM. matter how young the man may be, if too old to be addressed as Master^ he has a right to expect the title Esquire, This is traditional English good form and we have no right to disregard it. When it is necessary to address a man and his wife at once, the following forms are correct : S !;! ■ Mr. and Mrs. Charles Smithy or The Reverend Reginald and Mrs, Star^ or Tlie Reverend Dr, and Mrs. Willoughby, It is common in America to address an invitation to a man and his wife in this way, but traditional English custom gives the wife the right to represent the family in all social matters, and, as I shall have occasion to say further on, directs that her name alone shall appear on the envelope containing an invitation, or reply to an invitation, in which her husband's name as well as hers is found. Authorities differ as to whether two unmarried sisters should be addressed as the Miss Thomsons, or the Misses Thomson; interesting discussions on this point will be found in all the leading dictionaries. The best rule undoubtedly is in speaking, to say, the Miss Thomsons : in addressing a letter, to write. The Misses Thomson, In the body of the letter the colloquial form is preferable. ENVELOPE, SEAL, SUPERSCRIPTION. 35 In writing Mrs. or Esq'r. it is better form to raise the letters rs in M^^,^ and the r in Esq^* considerably above the other letters. When one has occasion to write Mr. the same rule should be followed. A letter to a physician should be addressed : Ralph Waldo, Esqr, M, D. A letter to the younger of two men of the same name should be : M, G. Haughton^Jun^.y Esq^, The proper abbreviation for Rei^erend, is Rev*d. A letter to a ' 'ergyman should be addressed as follows : The Rev^. Prank Thompson. The article The should always precede the Rev^.^ and the d. which ends the abbreviation Rev^. should properly be raised above the other letters. i% PUNCTUATION ON THE ENVELOPE. It is unnecessary to punctuate the superscription of a letter. The most elegant books have few if any punctuation marks on their title pages, or in their running titles ; and many people of taste likewise omit them in the superscriptions of their letters. Punctua- tion marks are intended to make the sense clearer, but the titles of books and the superscriptions of letters are sufficiently plain without them, and by many, in these cases, they are regarded as blemishes. If a letter is punctuated, the punctuation should be as follows: Harry Hamilton^ Esq>",y 38, East loth St.f New York, The reason for the comma after the number 38, is probably that some preposition like on belongs here, the omission of which makes the phrase elliptical. The common abbreviations of Esquire to Esq'r,, and Street, or Avenue to St., or Ave,, are perfectly good 36 ' PUNCTUATION ON THE ENVELOPE. 17 \ form, but the words may of course be written fully if one prefers. Mr.^ Mrs.y and Miss^ are abbreviations respectively of Master, and Mistress, but while in most diction- aries, Mr., and Mrs. are treated as abbreviations, Miss is never so treated. Stormonth, however, our highest authority in such matters, evidently feeling the neces- sity for uniformity in these words, treats Mr and Mrs like Miss^ as words or signs fully naturalized in the language, and not abbreviations of words, although he gives the same account of their origin as other lexi- cographers. I therefore conclude that one may regard Mr. and Mrs. as abbreviations or not, as he pleases. If they are so regarded, as in the case of all abbrevia- tions on the envelope or in the body of the letter, a period must be carefully placed after them. A married lady must never be addressed by her Christian name or names, she is always ** Mrs. George Layton," not " Mrs. Anna Layton." The question is often asked, " How should a widow be addressed — by her Christian name, or by the name of her deceased husband ? In this matter custom varies, but it seems to me decidedly better form to address her by her husband's name. There is no reason why a widow as long as she remains so, should not be " Mrs. Brenton Harris," the name she has borne during her married life. There are, how- ever^ cases where it will probably seem more nat- ural to address her as " Mrs. Margaret Harris," ipn wmmmmmm 38 GOOD FORM. and then it will undoubtedly be quite correct to do so. To or For on a letter is unnecessary. For Paul LaytoHy Esq^, looks pedantic. Never put the words "Present," ** Addressed," " Favored by," or " Kindness of " on your envelopes : they are not in good use. There is art even in putting the postage stamps on letters : they should always be put on evenly and not too near the edge. Do not address your letters upside down, and do not wrongly address them. Punch once gave the fol- lowing : " Hullo, Pythagoras, what's the matter ? O my dear fellow, I've been writing to my tailor to put another inch and a half in my waistband, and I've composed a valentine to my adored Anna, and Oh, I've put 'em in the wrong envelopes I " 9 » I CITY ADDRESSES. One point of interest chiefly to dwellers in cities, demands attention here. It is the question whether on letters between two points in the same city the envelope should have in the address the full name of the city with or without the word ** City," or the word " City " alone. Present custom in New York sanc- tions, for social correspondence, the disuse of anything below the name and number of the street, but this makes an incomplete address and is of course only a passing whim. Permanent use requires that the name of the city, be it Boston, New York, Philadelphia, or Chicago, be fully written out The word, " City " alone rnay perhaps be tolerated on business letters, but like most abbreviations, it is bad form for social corre- spondence. " New York City " is without doubt, the more perfect form of address, especially since New York is likewise the name of the state; but as a letter sent from one point to another in Boston, or Chicago is addressed simply " Boston, ' ^^^ " Chicago," so in New York the address will be perfectly clear if it be only " New York." If we are writing from some 39 wmBmmmmmm 40 GOOD FORM. Other place we must add either " City," or else, below the name of the city the initials, " N. Y." Indeed, letters sent from state to state, or from town to town in the same state, should always bear in their address the name of the state or its legal abbreviation. ^ \ t \ \ THE BEGINNING AND ENDING OF LET- TERS. The various degrees of intimacy between ourselves and our correspondents are denoted by the following scale of customary forms of address : Str^ or Madam^ Dear Sir^ or Dear Madaniy My dear Sir^ or Dear Madam^ Dear Mr. Jones ^ or Dear Mrs.JoneSy My dear Mr. Jones ^ or Dear Mrs. Jones ^ My dear Friend. The corresponding scale of forms in the closing of letters is : Truly yourSy or Yours truly ^ Vey truly yours^ Sincerely yours, Vt'ry sincerely yours, Faithfully, or Cordially, or Very sincerely yours^ Affectionately, or Faithfully yours, 41 42 GOOD FORM, As a rule it is more graceful to put the word yours last. Letters to friends should never begin " Dear Friend " or " Friend Max." The -.ame of the person written to should always be given, but never with "Friend." "Dear Charles, or "Dear Mary," or else " My dear Mr. Butler," or " My dear Mrs. Childs," are the only correct forms. Be careful not to write dear with a capital D when it is preceded by " My." After " My dear Charles," either a comma or a colon is correct. A colon looks a little heavy, there- fore a comma is generally o ^e preferred. A third mark of punctuation betwc> i .he address and the body of the letter, is the colon with a dash. This is still more formal than the colon, and its use in ordi- nary letters is not desirable. In the address, Sir^ or Afadam should, of course, always begin with a capital : as also should Father, Mother, Sister, or Brother. In the closing form, the word beginning the phrase, as Very, in "Very sin- cerely yours," should always have a capital, while the other words of the phrase should not. Never sign yourself by a nickname, as Mamie, or Bessie, It is sometimes allowable to sign only your initials to a letter, but this can only be done when your correspondent knows you well. In general make the ending of your letter corre- spond with its tone throughout, and especially in social correspondence, let it be graceful and natural. Inflex- * i IHE BEGINNING AND ENDING OF LETTERS, 43 ible rules for the ending of letters as for everything else in letter-writing, are neither possible nor desirable. A kind heart, good breeding, and cultivated taste will prevent mistakes here or anywhere else. In letters from prominent persons, in my possession, I find the graceful forms : " Ever sincerely yours," "Most cordially yours," "Always cordially yours," " Very cordially yours." " Believe me, with much re- gard, very truly yours," "Yours, with much regard," or if the note be to a person in affliction, " Yours, with much sympathy," are also in good taste. " Sincerely," or "Affectionately," without the word "Yours" is never allowable. " Respectfully," and "Very respect- fully," are alike inadmissable. " Respectfully yours " is not good form for letters between persons of the same social standing. If the letter be a very formal one, " Your obedient servant " is the form that should be used. " I am. Sincerely yours," is perfectly correct, but very formal. " Believe me, ever sincerely yours," is graceful and good. " Believe me to be " is not correct. It is entirely bad form to begin a letter, especially a friendly letter, with the name, with or without his address, of the person to whom you are writing, as : Arthur Cutler, Esg^, 20, West /^-fd St., New York, My dear Sir^ t'^ 44 coon FOUM. I \ If there is any reason for the person's name appear- ing at all, it should come on the last page, in the left hand corner, below the writer's signature. In business letters it is quite correct to put the name at the end of the letter, but no matter how common it may be to do so, it is not good form to put it at the beginning. Business letters must always begin, Sir^ or Dear Sir, and end with either Yours, etc., Very truly yours ^ or, in the most formal letters, Your obedient senmnt. Such phrases as, *' Hoping to see you soon," or " Hoping " anything, are ungraceful. " / remain yours truly " is nearly as bad. Remain is a fine word and should be avoided. In replying to a letter never write less familiarly than you have been addressed. Even should you think that the writer has addressed you with undue familiarity, unless he meant to offend, it is better because kinder to reply in a friendly way. On the part of ladies, however, a certain amount of reserve is necessary in writing to strangers. There are men who would presume upon a woman's cordiality, and would Piiike capital of a letter written in an ordinarily friendly way. Even a formal note can be miscon- strued by a designing or pushing person into a desire for close friendship. Suspicion of every one with whom we come in contact is a detestable trait, but yet, in society, a certain amount of reserve and caution are necessary if we would avoid unpleasant complications. To an equal, one should never write or speak of a i:i I f T//E BEGINNING AND ENDING OF LETTERS. 45 %■ \ son, daughter, brother or sister, as Mr, John, or Miss Florence, Mr, Jones, or Miss Jones. It is easy to say, " My daughter, Kate," " My brother, John," or " My sister, Florence." I once knew a family in which there were several young women who invariably spoke of each other as " Miss Helen," " Miss Kitty," and " Miss Jane." It is an insult to one's breeding to be treated as if the speaker or writer was afraid one was in dan- ger of using too familiarly the name of a member of his family. It ought to be quite unnecessary to say that to sign one's self Mr,, Mrs., Miss, Dr., or Reverend, is a sign of ill breeding, or of ignorance, but it is surprising how often in the case of married women this mistake is made.* If a woman is writing to a stranrjr she should give her address prefixed by Miss, or Mrs. in brackets at the close of the letter after her signature. Or else she should say : " Please address Miss Mary Brooks," or " Mrs. John Brown." From lack of thoughtfulness in this matter, on the part of women, persons to whom they write are often perplexed to know how to address them. Sometimes there is no way of deciding whether one's correspondent is a man or a woman ; sometimes even when this point is made clear, it is impossible to know whether the woman is married or unmarried. * In England people of rank never append their titles to their names. On the Continent this is continually done, but it seems a clear violation of good taste. I W7 46 GOOD FORM. If it is necessary to write junior after your name, write it jun'^. In business letters a lady should not ordinarily sign her Christian name in full, but only her initial or initials, and if a reply is needed, she should be espe- cially careful to leave her correspondent in no possible doubt as to her sex. Avoid ostentation in your signature ; if you have more than three names do not write them all, but use initials instead. It is better to sign your name always in one way. 3 s • • ft ;/3 o O 11 3 o CO CO ^=^ s.r to 3 5^ en »9 O CA C S K p "i P 32 en p P o p p > O w C/) o en H ^^ O I— « en X W o w i^ o r W s: o JO M :^ o I— I en K O PI P B ^> 3* P < •-• o o o - c o s n CO o 2 C" i-f CO o -t p CO cr CO 3 f6 3 ■• CO 3 CO sr' p o "Lo CO "n 3 o 2 o 5. "^ s* Cu 3 "< ffi « o o >> :f^«- - P^ CO ■• CO 3-" o . CO O S 3 p O P g < ■< p X rcn'o ^^ CO co"^ o _ CO O CO »3l p n 3 (O CO* 3 O CO U 3* C P 3 CL O 3 HH 3 CI. 3* P < "• 5 =»* p — rj 2 3 ^ 3 o S" Co Si p C P •* 3 ^ £5 9 p f» 5j ^^^ 1^ 3 5? O 5. O W) CO CO O 3 f6 CO (O o o 3 O "I cr t-H |>^ .^? ' ►i P n fl> 3* &•" Q-o n (O CO CO 3 3 3 CO M w 3 'o Oq- r* h^ 3* C r* fB 01-3 ?o CO CO ■-I ?^ 10 <* »♦ 3 "3 ^ i 4> o «> '" ? ^ o o c o o o o ° i ffi o u ^> V v • ji J3 •«-• 4^ M o V«M JO^ SO rt (^^ Im »- 2 O iS • o >> o a K-^ ffi§ _hJ ..u -J 0) — ^ rt c rl o c o w V ? O tfi U (A (A U o c o o -M.W o '^ 4-> •c u -TO s 0) 0) 3 en C 3S a rJ C3 C ri ^ 6 > > H H cf5" t! 3 w 3 C^i JP!^ ;^ =r - ^ ^ ^ ^ o n nc f^ C ■-« "3 cl — • "^ P* era "L ZT w" f (T) _^ O C J •-« "^ -r (^ "> o 5 Ui 3 ?w .3 O "^ -1 r^ cl5 £.^'S,3 . O -I s ^ s •" s; •" r» H^^S 3 2 2. W^ rr. 2 ^— "I •— ' 3 1-^ c VI n 'O n "^ C/} CO p '< ■ r' TT^vTy a S. C/3 C/3 P a p 3 p P 3 I o 2 '^ p « O* § n o o o o »* S 3* OS o J? c-o o ^- "^ n < ^ .^S P P< P 3 2 o 3c ^ »♦ Jr P *< n St'* * 3 =^ ■" v> 3 o "^ 3 i' 3 P q cu Sg Ol (75 O p 3 1 3 2 3 p — vP ^^ 3 03 ►i O « r^ y p 0*3 P^ n 0< -^p 3-9: tn w Cc p >i 3^2^ n ' P 3 H H 3*- 3- O p o^ 333 o 0.5 P Cfl p "> 3 S* p 3 3o ^3 B-^3n o o en C y rf 3 p T 3 p^^'i 3_5:^ ►X Q, ^ cfl cfl 3 CT o p M 3 n»^ w* 2. O* H p 3- 7 3 rt ^ " (A c H ^« p cu 3 -1 ^. ""^ P 2 3 -^ o 3 "« p ^ 3 ^ , o t p p o o 3 M 3 O (A sr P .. i o 3 g S s^ g o 2:3* n o 71 m •1 < P 3 3 O o I -^ 3 p 3 3 p 3 p c- r. 3* o 3 — o Vi c p •1 v> p 3 _ p C/l 3 3- e p- Vi p "> 3^ ^n 3* O 2. "• w <-♦ •-• 3- p O 3 ♦>1 50 >) 2 & cn >fe 9> '«l SI it I: \ I CO en H O H O CO H t— t 2! O <^ S M a tq o r I— ( CA e n O 5« W C/1 O w Ji u < -a (J o (A o S ^ s In H-l 3 O ^ u O S it ^ S 2 ^ O O (L» C >f (A lU 0) g 2 en (U ^ o 43 o ."5 4) ^ o-s en u -^ c o ^ 5 ^ 0) (A rt d « en C vr 3 O J3 (J o •• en >> ^ I > I _H C o •« o c --§ CO o 4) C > c o u RS -a C4 O^ .22 en (J Im < Xi en PQ o 4-1 4-1 o C/3 Pi i •a •s < Cxi b cl ♦- » 4-> K • 'C -'^ 'O 3 <3 C en « « >> > S "* ^ , uT ^< o -xJ S = 2 rt *r rf c ^ 0, 03 « > 5^ c •" t! O •■-I o a> 4> CO — !ii ** t> o gt: bo K c -a .i?' en ,-:^ 4> rP H o s > 4-1 o c O a> P-S o o »P ^en ■£^ ••-' en is u M 3 O l: rt g*^ P >^ f- (U M o en «H 0) 3" > LETTERS TO DISTINGUISHED TEOPLE. 77 In informal letters, we should say " My Dear Duke," or " Dear Lord ," etc., and end with " Yours sin- cerely," or some other simple phrase. The one remaining point in connection with letters to distinguished persons is, whether in these letters, either at the beginning or the end, we should give the address which, when the letter is sealed, will form the superscription. Whoever will take the trouble to ex- amine the official and diplomatic correspondence of colonial times, of New York or New England, will find that in the letters which passed between distinguished people on both sides of the Atlantic, while there is no invariable rule in this matter, the form most common, so common, indeed, that we must regard it as the established form, is to put the full address of the per- son written to at the close of the letter in the lower left hand corner. There, too, the writer's address and the date may be written, but they may just as properly be placed at the beginning, in the upper right hand corner. Some of the most courtly letters of this period begin simply " Sir " or " Madam," and end without the name of the person written to appearing at all. In this case the superscription on the envelope alone would contain his name and address. In writing to distinguished persons at home or abroad the following rule may safely be followed. Put your own address as simply as possible at the be- ginning of your letter, and the name and titles of the person to whom you are writing at the end. The date f 78 GOOD FORM. may, without any violation of good form, be written directly under your own address, but it is perhaps a little better, if there is plenty of room without crowd- ing, to put it at the end, below the name of your corre- spondent. To the whole subject of letter-writing one must bring a clear head, a quick imagination and refined taste, "which," as Herbert Spencer says, "will go far toward making all precepts needless." There may possibly be a few details which have not been touched upon in this little book, but the principles have here been given, and the letter-writer's own good sense may safely be trusted to supply all that has been left out. I! n a I- a. St id ;o re ;n es >d