A QUEEN'S WORK PUBLICATION LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME By . J. ROGER LYONS, SJ. * * * * * * . * * * THE QUEEN'S WORK - 3115 South Grand Blvd. - St. Louis 18, Mo. fmprimi potest: Joseph P. Zuercher, S.J. Praep. Provo lViiss.ol£rianae Nihil obsta!: Vvm. Fischer, S.T.D. Censor Librorum J mprimatur: DeactdUled + ].oannes J. Glennon Archiepiscopus Sti. Ludovici Sti. Ludovici, die 16 Augusti 1944 Sixth printing, December 1951 ANY FINANCIAL PROFIT made by the Central Office of the Sodality will be used for the advancement of the Sodality Movement and the cause of Catholic Action. Copyright 1944 THE QUEEN'S WORK LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME A Postwar ProCJram for Youth and the Family The home, because it is a "world within a world," can- not be relegated to a secondary place in the planning of the world of tomorrow. World problems affect the home; the home cannot escape them. Home and family hold a unique place in the many com- plicated problems confronting America today. The home has much to offer to youth, who must meet these problems. Youth in turn has much to contribute to the home. This discussion outline will follow three main divisions: PART I Youth Looks at the Family Through the Eyes of the Church. Youth Looks at the Family in the Light of War. Youth Looks at the Family in the Light of Peace. PART II Youth Considers the Family Circle As the Ideal Training Ground for Leadership. PART III Youth Considers the Special Mission of the Family in the Promoting of the Lay Apostolate. Youth Examines and Develops a Seven-Point Program for the Family. PART I YOUTH LOOKS AT THE FAMILY THROUGH THE EYES OF THE CHURCH 1. THE FAMILY IS THE BASIC UNIT OF SOCIETY "The family is the basic unit of society because it is the fountain source of human existence and the fundamental bond by which through an unbreakable love one indi- vidual is bound to another. Upon the national well-being and moral purity of the family depend the morality and well-being of the community. Steps therefore taken to improve home life physically and ethically or to give eco- nomic security to home are steps taken for the good of the community; and steps by which the dignity, the sanctity, or the inviolable unity of the home are undermined are 3 steps which lead straight to decadence, endangering the very life of organized society."-Pius XI. 2. ORIGIN OF THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY "What can there be on earth more serene and joyful than the Christian family? Taking its origin at the altar of the Lord, where love has been proclaimed a holy and indis- soluable bond, the Christian family in the same love, nourished by supernal grace, is consolidated and receives increase."-Pius XII, Progress and Problems of the Ameri- can Church. 3. A GREAT SACRAMENT OF THE NEW LAW " . .. Let it be repeated as an unchanged and inviolable fundamental doctrine that matrimony was not instituted or restored by man but by God .... How great is the dignity of chaste wedlock ... may be judged best from this: that Christ Our Lord .. . not only ordained it in an especial manner as the principle and foundation of domes- tic society and therefore of all human intercourse but also raised it to the rank of a truly 'great' sacrament of the New Law."-Pius XI, Christian Marriage. 4. YOUTH AND THE FAMILY "As long as the sacred flame of faith burns on the domes- tic hearth and the parents forge and fashion the lives of their children in accordance with faith, youth will be ever ready to acknowledge the royal prerogatives of the redeemer and to oppose those who wish to exclude Him from society or wrongly usurp His rights."-Pius XII , The Unity of Human Society. 5. THE CHURCH IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT THE FAMILY "The Christian family would have been possible without the Church but not the Church without the family .... From families spring parishes, from parishes dioceses; and the sum of the dioceses is the Church." - Dr. Maria Schliiter-Hermkes, The Family. Of the Church it was said, "The gates of hell shall not prevail against it." "The family is prerequisite to the Church's continued existence in the outward sense because it gives her chil- dren, in the inner because it trains them in the spirit of the Church .. . . The family is the basic social form for the penetration of the world with the Church. It is the classical form through which Christ, living on in His 4 Church, comes forth into the temporal order and leads the temporal order to God."-Dr. Maria Schliiter-Hermkes, The Family. ( 1. The well-being of the community. Note how closely) 2. The altar of the Lord. your family is{3.A great sacrament. associated with... 4. Youth and the preservation of faith . S. The Church and the apostolate. DISCUSSION CLUB QUESTIONS 1. Why is the family called the basic unit of society? 2. In what way does the well-being of the community de- pend upon the national well-being of the family? 3. How can the dignity and sanctity of the h0me be under- mined? 4 . What is meant when yve say that the Christian family takes its origin at the altar of the Lord? 5. Pope Pius XI said that Christ raised matrimony "to the rank of a truly great sacrament of the New Law." What powerful influence should this fact have upon a couple (1) in their early social life, (2) during courtship, (3) when they are engaged, (4) when they are actually married? 6. In what way is youth called upon to acknowledge the royal prerogatives of the redeemer? How can youth oppose those who wish to exclude Christ from society? What help does the family give to youth to meet these situations? 7. Why is the family the basic social form through which to establish contact of the world with the Church? 8. Explain the role the family plays in the matter of leading the temporal order to God. 9. Enumerate five important factors closely associated with the family. In what way do they indicate the esteem of the Church for the family circle? YOUTH LOOKS AT THE FAMILY IN THE LIGHT OF WAR 1. War always makes us look to the future. It makes us dissatisfied with the present and with the causes that led to the war. Because war creates within us this uncer- 5 tainty regarding the present, we direct our thoughts to the postwar world and our efforts to postwar planning. 2. A postwar problem that should make a strong appeal to youth is the problem that looks to the welfare and secur- ity of our homes. The home and family, like so many other things in life, we take for granted; and in doing so, we little realize that if the so-called big problems are to be solved successfully the solutions will greatly depend upon our successful endeavor to maintain sound and intact the integrity of the home and family circle. 3. Statesmen may overlook the importance of the home and family in postwar planning. The government may smile condescendingly at the "pygmy" structure of the home by comparison with the huge stature of government. Fanatics may laugh home and family to scorn . But so long as youth is alert to the importance of the family in world problems, then the home will receive its just place in any plan that aims for a better postwar world. 4. The home and the family hold a unique place in the many complicated problems that confront us today. It is the basic unit of society. It is the foundation on which rests the superstructure of society. By means of the following example let us see if we can bring the home and the family into proper perspective and thus obtain a clearer view of the place it really does occupy. The example. Weare all familiar with the sight of a large building under construction. Crowds gather to watch the process. It is not the superstructure that holds their attention but the construction of the foundation . They gaze at the heavy steam shovel at work and at the boxlike forms that receive the pliable concrete mixture. It is only the foundation, the basement, if you will, but it is the construction of that part of the building that the crowds find interesting to follow. Perhaps work on the lofty superstructure is too far away to be observed easily -perhaps that accounts for the spectators' apparent lack of interest. in the superstructure work that is being ac- complished. But it is only an apparent lack of interest; for as the building rises skyward, there are a certain dignity and majesty about it which compel attention and arouse admiration. Once the building is completed, man's interest in it shifts from the lowly founoation to the towering and majestic superstructure. 6 Now the family is the foundation of the greatest of all superstructures-a superstructure which is, not the pride of the ,engineering profession, but the masterpiece of the creator Himself. That superstructure is human society, existing in every city, town, village, hamlet, and country- side of the world today. And no matter where you , find it, it always rests on the foundation of the family circle. Foundation The Family j-------------- I Human I I Society I The Family For the past 168 years human society has made marvelous progress. But unfortunately we have been so busy admir- ing the superstructure of society and its achievements that we have neglected to consider the foundation on which society rests. A momentary glance at the world today clearly indicates that society is weakened. War, hatred, greed, graft, divorce, murder, and perjury are but some of the undermining factors revealed. a. The family - the founda- Human Society dation supporting the Prog- ress b. Graft Divorce Greed Hatred c. War Etc. a. The Family superstructure of society. b. Human society has made marvelous progress. c. The superstructure has been weakened by war, greed, hatred, graft, di- vorce, etc. and etc. Thinking men and women see that a reconstruction of society is needed and that that reconstruction will be effective only when it is begun on the foundation of society-the family. 5. The war proves the reasonableness of that procedure. It calls to mind many factors worthy of more than passing 7 consideration when they are viewed in the light of the home and family. a. The war for example calls to mind the importance and ability of youth for action. b. It calls to mind the importance of womanhood and motherhood in so cruel a thing as war. c. It calls to mind too a dangerous breakdown on the home front. This breakdown is not concerned primarily with the lack of tires, food, and gasoline - to say nothing of black markets, labor shortage, and rationing. It is a breakdown of the home itself-our first and most important Ameri- can home front. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY A common and widely acknowledged manifestation of a breakdown on the home front is found in juvenile delin- quency. With parents serving in the armed forces or at work in defense industries, children are deprived of proper care and supervision to a point where they have become a problem that is approaching the proportions of a national scandal. Juvenile delinquency has not caused the breakdown of our first home front, namely the home . The real cause is adult delinquency. Parents themselves have failed in their duty to guide and supervi~e ade- quately the children entrusted to them. Neglect of this parental responsibility is such that it cannot be repaired by the community alone with supervised recreation and entertainment, nor can it be remedied by legislation . The real and most effective solution for juvenile delinquency must be found in the home-the true Christian home resting on the bedrock foundation of religion and all that religious teaching and direction imply. Well does Mr. J. Edgar Hoover analyze the problem when he says, "J uvenile crime flourishes where the home ties have been weakened by divorce, separation, the desertion of a par- ent, or the ignorance, carelessness, or indifference of fathers and mothers . Our homes are not the sanctuaries of family life they once were .... All persons who bear the blessed title of 'parent' have the personal responsi- bility to see that their children are growing up fully appreciative of the rights of God and their fellow men." 8 6. This breakdown of the home and the factor of juvenile delinquency constitute but one picture of what is taking place on the home front. It is not a very encouraging picture. From another point of view however home-front activity is most encouraging. Our defense industries are leaving nothing undone to safeguard that for which we are fighting-the American way of living and our "inalien- able rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." The youth in our armed forces know that defense indus- tries and military equipment make for a strong military nation. But they know too that if a nation is to remain strong it must be built on homes that are strong. Ameri- can fighting youth would consider battles won on land and sea but temporary triumphs if they found that Ameri- can home life had been weakened or destroyed during their time in the service. r- Two Views of the Home Front ~ 1. Defense Industries. 2. Breakdown of the Home. Arsenal of the World. Juvenile Delinquency. Temporary triumphs Lasting victories are won by machines are won by the strenp-th and equipment. of a nation's homes. Battles won on land and sea are not the sole requisite for the safeguarding of our hearths and homes. We must take every precaution here on the home front so that we ourselves will not destroy our homes or permit them to be destroyed because we have become engrossd with the so-called big problems of the world. POSTWAR PLANNING FOR THE HOME 7. In looking at the family in the light of war, youth will consider the following points. a. The task of preserving the home in all its integrity is not the job of government. It is the task and respon- sibility of each member of the family circle. As a matter of fact homes are not made by government. 9 Houses are made by government, but houses ar,e only series of rooms under sheltering roofs. A house be- comes a home because of a family that dwells therein. This home-a vital, living unity-is made by father, mother, and children; it is not made by government. b. Someone has aptly called the home "a church within a church; a republic within a republic; a world within a world." c. Postwar planning for the home is in reality a world problem to be solved, not by the world, but by the individual members of the home. d. The home, because it is a "world within a world," cannot be relegated to a secondary place in the plan- ning of the world of tomorrow. World problems are bound to affect it-it cannot escape them. Hence the home is vitally interested in victory. Hence th~ home is vitally interested in the establishment of a lasting world peace. How could the home be other than vitally interested, with millions of young men and women away from home, serving in the armed forces? e. While the vast amount of thought and effort directed to postwar planning is concerned with the establish- ment of a just and lasting peace among the nations of the world, our Holy Father, Pius XII, has advanced . a program for peace within a nation itself, fully realiz- ing that a "firm and steady peace policy toward other nations is in fact impossible without a spirit of peace within the nation that inspires it."-Pius XII, Christ- mas Eve Address, 1942. YOUTH CONSIDERS THE PLAN OF POPE PIUS XII 8. Is the plan too difficult for youth to understand? Is the plan one that youth will find impossible to put into effect? Let youth examine the plan and judge for itself. "He who would have the star of peace," said the Holy Father, "shine out and stand over society .. . should uphold respect for and the practical realization of the following fundamental personal rights: 1. "The right: to maintain and develop one's corporal, intellectual, and moral life, and especially the right to relig ious formation and education; 10 2. "The right to worship God in private and public ... 3. "The right to marry and to achieve the aim of married life; 4. "The right to conjugal and domestic society; S. "The right to work, as the indispensable means toward the maintenance of fa:nily life; 6. "The right .,to free choice of a state of life and hence too to the priesthood or religious life; 7. "The right to use of material goods, in keeping with his duties and social limitations." Having thus laid a solid foundation for the reconstruc- tion of society on the dignity and rights of the human person, the Pope then proceeded to consider in logical sequence the home, the family, the fundamental unit of society. He spoke as follows: "He who would have the star of peace shine out and stand over society . . . should defend the indissolubility of matrimony; he should give to the family-that unique cell of the people-space, light, and air so that it may attend to its mission of perpetuating new life and of educating children in a spirit corresponding to its own true religious convictions and that it may preserve, fortify, and reconstitute according to its powers its proper economic, spiritual, moral, and juridic unity." -Pius XII, Christmas Eve Address, 1942. AMERICA'S ORIGINAL POSTWAR PROGRAM 9. One hundred and sixty-eight years ago a postwar pro- gram was drawn up for America. It was the Declaration of Independence. This program is truly American in -its origin, and it offers a sure method of procedure for pre- serving intact the American home. The Declaration of Independence declared our independence of other nati'Ons. I t also declared our dependence on God. The document is clear and to the point. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Thus we see: 11 a. In the Declaration of Independence we acknowledge God to be our creator. b. Weare endowed by God with certain inalienable rights. c. These rights are given to us as a means to return t o Him. d. The Constitution stresses our human dignity; it points out our true destiny. The spirit of American democracy, the spmt of the American way of living, rests on the recognition of the fact that man possesses God-given rights. Note how this same point was made by Mr. J. Edgar Hoover when he was speaking on the problem of juvenile delinquency: "All persons who bear the blessed title of 'parent' have the personal responsibility to see that their childr-en are growing up fully appreciative of the rights of God and their fellow men." Compare the postwar plan of Pius XII and the American program as stated in the Declaration of Independence, and you find: a . Both programs are founded on the simple principle that a social-reconstruction program, to be a true and practical program, must acknowledge that there exists an essential relation between God and everything that regards man. h. Both programs turn on the fact that the individual possesses inalienable fundamental personal rights- and hence it follows that the individual must bear the corresponding responsibilities associated with those rights. c. Both programs are based on religion: They recognize God, and the natural law, with its rights and duties as these rights and duties apply to a nation and to the individual. N.B. Drop these principles from our plans for a post- war world, and the world will be reconstructed accord- ing to prewar blueprints. 12 DISCUSSION CLUB QUESTIONS 1. Why do wars make us look to the future? 2. Why should the welfare of the home appeal to yuuth? 3. Give three reasons why youth should be alert to the importance of the family in the planning of a better post- war world. 4. Describe-illustrate by drawing, if you can- the unique place that the family holds in human society. 5. Why will the reconstruction of society be effective only when that reconstruction is begun on the family? 6. Give two points of view regarding conditions that exist on the home front. How do you account for them? What part does religion play in each one? 7. Enumerate the various points that youth will consider when it looks at the family in the light of war. 8. What plan of Pope Pius XII is youth asked to consider? 9. Compare this program with America's original post- war program. YOUTH LOOKS AT THE FAMILY IN THE LIGHT OF PEACE 1. In what way can the above-mentioned programs preserve and safeguard the American family? What is their place in youths' program of postwar planning for the home? The answer to those questions is found in these two points: a. The home is the outstanding institution in all society, best adapted to secure and guarantee to the individual his fundamental personal rights . • b. Of all social institutions the home is the first and best place wherein the responsibilities associated with those rights can be stressed and cultivated in the heart and soul of the individual. The idea becomes more apparent when we realize that the establishment of peace on a world basis cannot be attained unless due consideration is given to the place held by the individual and the home in the solution of 13 world problems. World peace, to be a just and lastillg peace, must embrace these three factors, namely the indi- vidual, the home-family, and the world. The Individual 1. ~ The Home-the Family 2. A close and fundamental relationship exists among the three for the simple reason that the world is composed of families and families in turn are made up of individuals. Hence the rights and responsibilities of the individual and the family must and will play an important role in the establishment of a world peace. When these rights and responsibilities are neglected, then efforts for the attain- ment of world peace are doomed to failure. And success or failure depends in no little way upon the home, for the home holds the central and pivotal position in the panel. Examine each of the above-mentioned factors, note the fundamental relationship existing among them, and see the important role that falls to the home when it is viewed in the light of peace. THE INDIVIDUAL, THE HOME, THE WORLD (1.) The Individual Recall the fundamental personal rights of the indi- vidual ... a. To corporal, intellectual, spiritual formation. b. To worship God. c. To happy home life. d. To marry- to achieve the end of marriage. e. To work. £. To choose a state of life. g. To the use of material goods. 14 N.B. With these rights are associated responsibili- ties: "There must exist an essential relation to God of everything that regards man." -Pius XII, Christmas Eve Address, I942. (2.) The Home The home is the first and best place wherein the responsibilties associated with those rights can be stressed and cultivated in the heart and soul of the individual. Hence in the HOME youth is shown: a. That he has a responsibility to develop corporally, intellectually, morally, spiritually-certainly de- sirable requisites for good citizenship. b. That he has the responsibility to worship God. c. That he has responsibilities regarding marriage, if marriage is his choice of a state of life ... 1. In his choice of a partner. 2. In ·his preparation for marriage-remote and proximate. 3. In his knowledge regarding the aim and pur- pose of marriage. (If this were supplied in the home, the schools would not be clamoring to do the job today.) d. Through observations, hearing, and experience what makes for happy married and domestic life. e. That the right to work carries a responsibility to work. That work is, not something degrading, but indispensable for the maintainence of family life. f. His responsibility to choose that state of life to which he IS called. Today there is a woeful lack of cooperation with youth on the question of religious vocations-the priesthood. g. That he has a responsibility according to his social limitations to the use of material goods . . . to be a credit to his station in life ... to use opportunities offered him. 15 (3) The World If world problems-the so-called big problems-are to be solved successfully, then we must maintain sound and intact the family circle. The home, hold- ing the center of the panel, cannot be relegated to a secondary place in planning the world of tomorrow. The world of tomorrow, like the world of today, is made up of homes and of individuals. POINTS OF INTEREST 2. When youth examines the three factors-the individual, the home, and the world-he discovers seven points of interest that have a direct bearing on the home and peace. a . He discovers that if the above mentioned responsibili- ties are to be stressed and inculcated within the home the home is necessarily building up a nation that will live according to Christian principles. b. He discovers that if a nation is to be built according to that pattern the building can be done only through the home, where God-loving and God-fearing parents are rearing God-loving and God-fearing children. c. He discovers that our national morality is sound only as long as our American homes follow the Christian pattern of living. d. He discovers startling facts about the status of our national morality, facts which bear out the statement of Mr. J. Edgar Hoover: "Our homes are not the sanctuaries of family life they once were." 1. A little over 50 per cent of the population are church members. 2. Juvenile delinquency has increased 18 p'er cent in three years. 3. Delinquency has increased alarmingly among girls . 4. One in six marriages ends in divorce. e. He discovers the tremendous responsibility that rests upon him to cooperate with the home's efforts to im- press upon him the fact that his God-given rights carry with them serious responsibilities. £. He discovers that if peace is fo flourish within a nation that peace must be established and cultivated within the members of the family circle. 16 g. He discovers the truth of the words expressed by Pope Pius XII in 1939: "Before Us stand out with painful clarity the dangers We fear will accrue to thi~ and coming generations from neglect or nonrecogni- tion, the minimizing and gradual abolition of the rights peculiar to the family. Therefore We stand up as determined defenders of those rights in the full con- sciousness of the duty imposed on Us by Our Apostolic office. The stress of our times, as well external a!' internal, material and spiritual alike, and the manifold errors, with their countless repercussions, are tasted by none so bitterly as by that noble cell, the family." -The Unity of Human Society. DISCUSSION CLUB QUESTIONS 1. What place does the home hold in regard to a person's rights and to the responsibilities associated with those rights? 2. Why do the individual and the home hold important places in the solution of world problems? 3. What personal rights of an individual must be respected if the star of peace is to shine out and stand over society? 4. Explain point by point how the home can cultivate in the heart and soul of the individual the responsibilities associated with personal rights. 5. What suggestions can you make that will help the home to carry out this important task that it is called upon to perform? What cooperation is required on the part of youth? 6. State seven points of interest that youth discovers when it looks at the family in the light of peace. 7. Explain what bearing the home has on our national morality. 8. What comments have you to make on our present national morality: Favorable? Unfavorable? 9. What suggestions can you offer to remedy the situation? 17 PART II THE FAMILY CIRCLE IS THE IDEAL TRAINING GROUND FOR LEADERSHIP Consider the following factors in the family circle as con- ducive to the establishment of leadership. 1. FAMILY ENVIRONMENT AN AID TO LEADERSHIP "The first natural and necessary element in this environ- ment, as regards education, is the family, and this pre- cisely because so ordained by the Creator Himself. Ac- cordingly that education as a rule will be more effective and lasting which is received in a well-ordered and well- disciplined Christian family and more efficacious in pro- portion to the clear and constant good example set first by the parents and then by the other members of the house- hold."-Pius XI, Christian Education. "As long as the sacred flame of faith burns on the domestic hearth and the parents forge and fashion the lives of their children in accordance with this faith, youth will be ever ready to acknowledge the royal prerogatives of the redeemer and to oppose those who wish to exclude Him from society or wrongly to usurp His rights."-Pius XII. In this thought the Holy Father expressed for youth the lofty aim and purpose of Catholic leadership. Note how he associates it with the home. 2. THE FAMILY A TEACHER-PUPIL COMBINATION The family offers countless opportunities for leadership to be taught and countless opportunities for leadership to be learned. The developed leader is the . result of a "teacher-pupil" combination, with one factor equally as important as the other. It is founded on the basic idea that the future leader is willing to learn and that the teacher is willing and qualified to teach. The family circle presents the ideal situation for the training in leadership according to the following formula: "The way to develop leadership is by giving opportunities for leading. We learn to do a thing by doing it. There must be training in sane leadership, and adolescence is the time to give it." Christ spent three years training the members of His "household" to assume leadership within the Church. Their apostolate was to continue the work He had begun. 3. THE FAMILY IS AN ORGANIZATION A strong organization calls for leadership. Leadership is usually associated with organized activities. 18 Activities within the home open a field for leadership to the members of the family. 4. IN THE HOME WE HAVE AUTHORITY Authority prevents leadership from degenerating into tyranny. Authority, usually residing in officers, is an essential requisite for a good organization. In the family parents and children are subject to the same authority-God. 5. IN THE FAMILY WE HAVE SUBJECTS (MEMBERSHIP) An organization has two divisions: There are those hold- ing authority, the officers ; and there are the rank and file, the members. Parents hold authority in the family. Their responsibility is to lead. Children are the members of the family. Their responsi- bility is to follow. 6. THE FAMILY HAS A DEFINITE GOAL TO ATTAIN Its obligation "to bring us children includes not only religious and moral education but physical and civic edu- cation as well, principally in so far as it touches upon religion and morality."-Pius XI, Christian Education. DISCUSSION CLUB QUESTIONS 1. From the quotations of Popes Pius XI and Pius XII explain the importance of family environment as an aid in the developing of leadership. 2. Explain and discuss these two statements with reference to family: "Leadership is something to be learn6d . .. . Leadership is something to be taught." Explain the term "teacher-pupil combination." 3. vVhy is the family circle conducive to the development of leadership? 4. How can authority prevent leadership from degenerating into tyranny? 5. What two divisions are characteristic of an organization? How is the idea applied to the family? 6. Must every organization have some aim and purpose that it seeks to attain? What goal does the family as an organization seek to attain? l!l 7. State specific instances where youth can exercise leader- ship in the home. PART, III SEVEN·POINT PROGRAM FOR YOUTH AND THE FAMILY The purpose of Part III of this discussion outline is to present a Seven-Point Program for Youth and the Family as a means to reduce to practical application the following words of Pope Pius XII: "In promoting this participation of the laity in the apostolate, which is so important in our times, the family has a specific mission, for it is the spirit of the family that exercises the most powerful influence .on that of the rising generation."-The Unity of Human Society. 1. THE FAMILY HAS A SPECIAL MISSION TO PROMOTE THE LAY APOSTOLATE Hence the members of the family should strive: a. To become Christlike in their own lives. b. Through their example to aid one another to become Christlike. c. To go forth and bring all society to Christ. 2. WHY DOES THE FAMILY ENJOY THIS SPECIAL MISSION? The family enjoys this special mission because "it is the spirit of the family that exercises the most powerful in- fluence on that of the rising generation." 3. IN WHAT CAN THE FAMILY EXERCISE THIS MOST POWERFUL INFLUENCE ON THE RISING GENERATION? The family can exercise this most powerful influence by adopting the following Seven-Point Program for Youth and the Family and then doing everything in its power to reduce it to practice. The Seven-Point Program, taken from the writer's booklet "Our Place in the Christian Family," contains suggestions that can be worked into a constructive program of per- sonal and group activity calling for the cooperation and good will of every member of the family circle. (For dis- cussion-club questions see page 25.) 20 I. Your Family and the Holy Family Mold the family circle on the basic pattern of the Holy Family: 1. A family founded on deep faith. 2. A family obedient to God's laws. 3. A family devoted to Christ, to Mary, to Joseph. (Eucharistic-Marian devotion; devotion to the saints) II. The Individual and the Family Let each member of the family strive to develop the following: 1. Pride, founded on love, in one's own family. 2. Loyalty to the members of one's family. 3. Contentment with what one's family provides. 4. Sympathy and cheerfulness toward the members of one's family. III. The Family and Religion The home safeguarded through religion-hence the follow- ing practices: 1. Prayer. (1) Morning and evening prayers said by each mem- ber of the family . (2) Group prayers. Family recitation of rosary. Group evening prayers. Prayers before and after meals. Consecration of family to Sacred Heart. Consecration of infants to Blessed Virgin Mary. 2. Parish Services. (1) Weekday Mass. (2) Novenas. (3) Holy Hour. (4) Rosary-October. 3. Sacraments. (5) Poor Souls-November. (6) Lenten Devotions. (7) May Devotions. (8) Sacred Heart Devotions. (1) Frequent reception of sacraments by each mem- ber of the family. (2) First Fridays. 21 (3) Mass and Holy Communion with family group -when and where possible. 4. Spiritual reading. (1) To be encouraged by members of the family. (2) A few minutes of reading at conclusion of family meal. (Following of Christ, New Testament, etc.) 5. Sacramentals. (1) Holy pictures displayed. (2) Statues. (3) Crucifix. (4) Holy water available. (5) Sick-call outfit. (6) Home shrines-May altar. 6. Liturgical year. Life of Christ annually reenacted. (1) Private and group observance of major feasts. (2) Use of Catholic calendar as handy reminder. (3) Celebration of the feast days of saints after whom members of family are named. (4) Observance of Advent as preparation for Christmas. (5) Christmas: crib-singing of carols-Catholic tone in gifts (rosary, missal , Catholic books, etc.). (6) Lenten observance as preparation for Easter. (7) Ember days, etc. IV. Undermining the Christian Home A void the undermining of a Christian home spirit by: 1. Selfishness. 2. Grumbling. 3. Quarreling. 4. Want of good manners. 5. Distrustfulness. 6. Lack of cooperation . 22 Rather be alert: 1. To inconvenience self for sake of others. 2. To obey cheerfully. 3. To practice good manners. 4. To avoid hasty and suspicious judgments. 5. To maintain peace rather than constantly to quarrel. V. Safeguarding the Home and Family Safeguard the home and family against outside degrading influences ... 1. In the form of literature: Books. Magazines. Papers. Pictures. etc. 2. In the form of entertainment: Movies. Theater. Dances. Commercial amusements. etc. 3. In the form of companions: Follow your conscience. Follow counsel and commands of parents. Be guided by a spirit of candor with those whose duty it is to safeguard you. VI. Fortifying the Home Fortify the home and family from within by ... 1. Providing: Catholic books. Catholic papers. Catholic magazines. Catholic pictures. 23 2. Providing those means so helpful in making the home more interesting: (1) Home atmosphere for social and recreational life. Why is it so universally true that in every crowd you find one person's home that all like to visit? The home atmosphere is manifested in ... (1) Family congeniality. (2) A true spirit of friendliness. (3) Sincere hospitality. (4) Interest to please and cooperate on part of parents. (5) Spontaneity and ingenuity in supplying enterta inment: Games. Music. Home movies. Dancing . Candy pulls. Refresh men ts. etc. 3. Providing home recreational programs for family circle. Plan a program that can be worked out on weekly or monthly basis. Follow the general scheme that is followed in amusements supplied in places outside the home. They might well fall under the following suggestions. (1) Social night- invite your friends to be part of the family circle in their activities. (2) Amateur night or stunt night-each member of the family required to make some contribu- tion to the family program. (3) Recreational night-games, cards, ping pong, etc. Offer pI i zes. (4) Discussion nignt~n some topic which will be of interest to all the members. Possibly some book, pamphlet, play, movie, current events. 24 (5) Musical night-have good radio program, family sings old-time songs, family orchestra, individual presentation of musical talent. VII. Qualities for Home and Family Develop within the home and family circle the basic virtues of: 1. Industry-work. (1) Assign responsibilities to children about the home. (2) Alertness to assist one another. (3) Opportunities for children of school age to do their "home work." (4) With parental direction, outside-of-school jobs or employment. 2. Thrift. (1) Know the value of money. (2) Know the value of work. (3) Be reasonably independent-not always asking ... receiving. (4) Spirit of giving. 3. Respect for authority. (1) For the laws of God. (2) For the laws of the Church. (3) For parents. (4) For c;chool authorities . (5) For civil authorities. DISCUSSION CLUB QUESTIONS The following discussion outline is presented as a means whereby the individual and the family circle may reduce to action the points given in the Suggested Program. Each question in stimulating thought will draw forth a variety of answers which can be applied to anyone or to all of the families represented at the discussion. This discussion outline is capable of creating an interest in the subject of home and family that is more than an academic or theoreti- cal interest. Hence each question should be proposed and discussed with the purpose of finding its practical applica- tion within your own family. The ease with which any dis- 25 cussed topic can be reduced to action will depend on the cooperation and good will of all members of the family. For this reason the discussion outline lends itself most readily to the establishment of a discusion group within the family- itself. I. Your Family and the Holy Family State three reasons why the Holy Family is the model Christian family. How did the Holy Family manifest its attitude toward the observance of the Jewish law? toward the Temple and its feasts? In what way does the flight into Egypt illustrate the perfect obedience of the Holy Family? Who was first in authority in the Holy Family? Who was first in dignity? The Basic Pattern. What circumstances or problems occur in the average family that call for an exercise of faith? Can family prosperity provide an occasion for the manifestation of the family's faith? Explain your answer. Discuss how death, illness, waywardness, unemployment, and so forth, can be borne willingly by a family of faith. What external signs are observed in a home as an indication of the faith of the family? vVhy are faith and obedience so necessary to combat birth-control propaganda today? Recount the various ways that you picture Christ manifesting his devo- tion to Mary? to Joseph? In what way do you imagine that Mary and Joseph showed their love to the Christ Child? What motives should prompt children to be obedient to their parents today? II. The Individual and the Family Explain the phrase "pride in one's family." Why should family pride be founded on love? Why not on success, prosperity, and so forth? Can pride in family be likenf'd to patriotism? How do members of the family manifest their pride in the family circle? Will pride in their family prompt children to bnng their friends to their home? Would want of pride in their family be a reason why children would be reluctant to bring their friends home? Personal Qualities. Why is it important that loyalty be taught and practiced in the home? How can members of the family practice loyalty to one an()ther? Explain how this loyalty develops a real home spirit. Are younger people usually content w.ith what their family provides? 26 Are parents always able to control those features which lead to lack of contentment within the family? What con- tribution can children make to the spirit of contentment within the family? Is wealth a necessary requirement for contentment within the family? What can readily be sub- stituted in its place? Do you think it is a common occur- rence that people manifest sympathy and cheerfulness when they are away from home but not toward the members of their own family? Explain your answer. Enumerate occa- sions when you can practice cheerfulness at home. III. The Family and Religion Prayer. What prayers could be said by your family in common? What prayers are said in common? What family needs or intentions would you recommend to family prayers? In what way is religion a safeguard for the home? As a rule who is the first teacher of religion and religious. practices in the home? What hope do parents entertain when they are teaching children their first prayers? As. children grow older, what factors contribute to their neg- lect to say their morning and evening prayers? Do you .think a special time should be set aside for family prayers? What factors must be taken into consideration in selecting a time for family prayers? What contribution can children make in establishing the custom of family prayer? Is family prayer of common or of rare practice today? Explain reasons for your answer. Show how prayer in common unites a family. Is it an essential requirement for the practice of family prayer that every member of the family be present? Parish Services. Do you think your parish devotions are attended as well as they should be? What bearing does your answer have on attitudes of the family circle? If it is not possible for the entire family to attend parish devo- tions, Lent, rosary, holy hour, and so forth, could you work out a plan so that the family would be represented at these devotions by at least one member of the family? What method would you suggest for this? What militates against cooperation and good will on the part of members of a family when an effort is made to establish the practice of family prayers and attendance at parish devotions? Do you think the average family makes a sincere effort to establish these practices? . 27 Sacraments. How can you encourage members of the fam- ily to attend Mass and receive Holy Communion? Might their willingness to do so entail some sacrifice on your part? What value do you see in parents' and children's assisting at Mass and receiving Holy Communion in a family group? What effect do you think this will have on children in later life? Do you think it is something pl~asing to parents here and now? Spiritual Reading. What spiritual books have you read in the past six months? Do you ever recommend spiritual books to the other members of the family? What was the last book you recommended? Do you know what spiritual books and Catholic magazines are available to the members of your family? Discuss the type of spiritual book you would find useful at home. How would these books benefit the members of the family? What benefit do you think they will have on home life in general? What type of spiritual books would you recommend for the children of the family, i. e., for youngsters, for youth, for adolescents? Discuss the part hero worship plays in the life of young people. Why are the saints said to be real heroes or heroines? Cite examples. How would cooperation and good will on your part manifest themselves to encourage spiritual read- ing in your family circle? What steps would you suggest for establishing a s'piritual library in the home that would be of interest to all members? Sacramentals. Can you illustrate from actual experiences the effect holy pictures have on young children in the home? on adults? What type of holy pictures would you recom- mend for the home? Where would you procure such pic- tures? How and by whom in the average family are pic- tures selected for the home? Do you' think a rather definite type or series of pictures could be planned and selected for the various rooms of the home? Explain how holy pictures and sacramentals are aids in teaching children the truths of their religion. How would you encourage the use of holy water in the home? Is it a sacramental to be used only in time of sickness and of storms? Explain the prepa- ration and use of the sick-call outfit. Give three reasons why children should be encouraged to erect shrines and May altars in the home. 28 Liturgical Year. What influence can the observance of the liturgical year have on the spirit)lal life of the family? Suggest ways in which group observance of. major feasts can become a family activity. If your family were to cele- brate the feast days of saints after whom members of the family are named, what days would they celebrate? Show how Advent and Lenten observances as preparations for Christmas and Easter will make the family realize the significance of these feasts. Discuss practical ways in which the Catholic calendar can be used in the home. IV. Undermining the Christian Home Explain how selfishness destroys a Christian home spirit. Why are grumbling and quarreling a natural by-product of selfishness? What trivial affairs in the average family are apt to beget family grumbling and quarreling? Discuss ways in which good manners can be practiced at home. If good manners are not taught and practiced in the family, is it likely that they will be learned and practiced among strangers? Give one example when a member of a family is called upon to inconvenience himself for the sake of other members. What hasty and suspicious judgments can members of the family make of one another? Discuss the reactions of a child when he feels he is not trusted by members of his own family. How does selfishness under- mine peace within the family circle? V. Safeguarding Home and Family Against what degrading influences must home and family be safeguarded? In what way do these outside influences gain admittance to the home? Explain why these influences cannot be counteracted if children refuse to cooperate with parents. Discuss the methods you would use to safeguard the home against degrading literature, entertainment, and companions. Which do you consider the most dangerous and the most subtle to handle? What bearing do the ages of children have on this problem? Give and explain one good reason why you should cooperate faithfully with the Legion of Decency and the Press. VI: Fortifying the Home Discuss what helps parents give to their children by pro- viding Catholic baoks, magazines, and papers for them. In what way do these papers help serve to safeguard the home from within? 29 Homes We Like. Why are social and recreational activities important factors for making the home interesting? When social and recreational life are not provided at home, where do young people seek it? What is required of each mem- ber of the family if the home is to compete successfully with commercialized forms of amusement? Why does a home atmosphere require cooperation on the part of all members of the family? Do you think a group of visiting young people are quick to appreciate the presence of a home atmosphere? How do they react to it? Does this reaction indicate that young people can be as well enter- tained and as happy within the home as they are when they are seeking th~ir social life elsewhere? From a parental point of view what are the advantages that overshadow the inconvenience and work entailed in having a group take over the home for an evening? What does commer- cialized social and recreational life offer that the home can- not provide, i. e., companionship, entertainment, food, and so forth? What does the home provide that social and recreational life outside the home can never provide? Enumerate some of the many ways in which young people profit by this contribution. Discuss the part parents play in making the home the center of social life. Recreational Programs. What advantages do you see in a family's planning its own home recreational program? Can you give three sound reasons why a family must be dependent on activities planned outside the home for its social and recreational life? Why do young people today instinctively turn to outside agencies for their social and recreational life? Why will many young people think the suggestion a bit odd that the home should provide recrea- tional programs for the family circle? Explain and discuss how good will and cooperation can break down this unde- above, how would you go about planning an evening pro- gram for the family? What preparations would you make for a social night, amateur night, recreational night, dis- cussion night, and musical night? Explain why you must plan as carefully for family entertainment as you do for the entertainment of your club, visitors, and so forth. VII. Qualities for Home and Family Why is the home an ideal place in which to teach the value of industry or of work? Enumerate various duties or 30 responsibilities that can be assigned to children about the home. How will a spirit of cooperation and good will prompt young people to be alert in helping one another? in relieving parents of much of their routine work? Why should children of school age be given every opportunity to do their homework? Is neglect to do their homework always an indication of lack of industry on the part of school-age children? Why should parental direction be followed regarding outside-of-school employment? Can chil- dren be industrious in so far as outside-of-school jobs are concerned but rather indifferent regarding their necessary school work? How would you cope with this situation? Thrift. How would you teach young people the value of thrift? How can a weekly allowance impress them with the value of money? Will earning their own spending money be a more effective way of teaching the same lesson? How can young people be taught to be reasonably independent? Will they appreciate things more if they have to plan how they themselves can procure them? or should their every desire be satisfied easily and readily? ·What is so noble about the spirit of giving? How would you develop this spirit in younger people? How does this spirit manifest itself in the family circle? Respect for Authority. Explain why respect for authority is a basic virtue for the family circle. Why is the home the best place for teaching respect for authority? Does the practice of respect for authority exclude any member of the family circle? Explain how it includes all without excep- tion . If the home fails in developing respect for authority, what are the prospects that other institutions of society can make up for this defect? Why is good example so powerful a means for teaching respect for authority within the fam- ily? What relationship is there between juvenile delin- quency and respect for authority? How can the family cooperate with the Church, school, and government in developing respect for authority? What part will religion play in the life of the individual in developing this respect? Would you recommend fear and punishment as effective means for developing respect for authority? What motives would you advise? Why do you consider them the more effective? 31 ."I~:CO u ... ,.. 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