LQmY'Yl , Wi I/CQwt{2: :pO!, V' t,0 CV fo. or F;x,::t'mej r articular Examen Rev. William R. Lamm, S.M., S.T.L. to> RA.~.~.I2~'A.ll/~ ~J:i.JJ~ tL-~ . l~R.~~,~. ~.7 19t.f1. T¥fl BR'uCE PVBLISHING COMPANY Milwaukee Foreword Trusting God Generosity Mortification Patience Silence Prayer Charity Work Contents Humility and Simplicity 3 7 10 12 20 21 Poverty 23 Chastity 24 Obedience 25 Love of My Lord 27 Love of Mother Mary 29 Particular Examen for Retreat 30 Imprim i potest: SYLVESTER P. JUERGENS, S.M., Sup. Provincial is - June 2, 1940 Imprimatur: + ARTHUR J. DROSSAERTS, Abp. of San Antonio - June 17, 1940 oeactdltlld Copyrigh t, 1940 The Bruce Publishing Company Printed in the U. S. A. fon~word IT IS not easy for religious to make their par- ticular examen day after day. The distractions, cares, and fatigues of the classroom, of the hos- pital ward, of other apostolic labors are partly the cause of the difficulty. But the principal cause is the fact that earnest effort to make particular examen too often reduces itself to a mere search for faults, for faults that usually are not sins, at least not serious sins, against some particular virtue. There is nothing very interesting in doing that, day after day, from ten to fifteen minutes. It can be and is very boresome, even disheartening. Moreover, to check on our faults, to find their cause and a definite way of really overcoming them, makes particular examen a burden for many of us. With the hope of making this important exer- cise more easy and pro~table, the suggestions contained in this booklet are offer&!. The essential point is to talk things over with 3 Christ, to see ourselves with His eyes, to make the examen not alone but always with Him, to listen to Him, to plan, to decide, and resolve with Him, finding out the last "why" of our failings and defects or success, and then the "how" of doing better. It is so much more easy to talk things over with someone; so much more safe to get suggestions and advice from some- one who knows; so much more encouraging to know that someone understands, than to depend upon ourselves alone. It means much and is so effective to give an account, an exact account to someone who knows us through and through. To unburden ourselves to someone, even about our faults, is very profitable, and is the greatest help that we can have in trying to fulfill our obligations, and in keeping us from self-deception. And that Someone should be our Lord, first of all. Some religious have been taught to count their faults, and to record them with some formal resolution in writing. If this is a help and is done together with Christ, it should be continued. Only fourteen subjects and- a special examen 4 for "Retreat" are offered in this first little book- let. The subjects treat of the essential obliga- tions, virtues, and efforts common to all religious. It is hoped that the few thoughts suggested will in turn suggest others to be talked over with our Lord, and that each per- son who uses this booklet will add questions or thoughts that will suit his or her particular needs. We are much alike, and yet very dif- ferent in our spiritual experiences and training, in temperament, in fidelity to grace. Many of the thoughts and especially the method here suggested can be applied to other subjects. It may be profitable to meditate on the following prayer of Newman at the beginning of the particular examen: "How awful is the prospect of finding myself in the presence of my J udge! Yet, 0 Lord, I would not that Thou shouldst not know me. It is my greatest stay to know that Thou readest my heart. 0 give me more of that open-hearted sincerity which I have desired. Keep me ever from being afraid of Thy eye, from the inward conscious- ness that I am not honestly trying to plea5e Thee." 5 May we learn to open our hearts to Him com- pletely, being glad that He sees us as we are, and by being in His company often learn to know ourselves as He knows us. St. Mary's University, San Antonio, Texas, May 2, 1940. 6 w. R. L. Trusting God TRUSTING You, Good Master, in order to be like You- You trusted Your Father completely . . . unquestioningly ... and yet I find it so hard to trust You - You are Wisdom - You are Love What more could I want. Trusting You as Mary trusted You . . . 111 every detail of her life. Trusting You in order to please You. I conform my will to the will of others in order to please them . . . or because I fear that I might displease them - yielding to human respect - fear of ridicule -letting myself be led into sin. I take their word and act upon it. 7 But when it comes to trusting You, I draw back. . . . What is the matter with me? Trusting You in order to overcome myself - my selfishness - my self-will. Trusting my own views, plans, and ways of doing things . . . even perhaps telling You how to run Your world. Trusting You in order to win more souls for You. I am doing Your work, and You know the whole plan, what is best for each soul. And I would try to tell You what to do. You let me help You in Your magnificent work. Trusting You in my work. Taking the bitter with the sweet - the heartaches with the joys. F allowing Your plan, not mine. Pleading with You not to let me spoil Your work ... not to stand in Your way. Trusting You in the physical condition in which I must work. Trusting You in Your choice of those over 8 whom You have given me charge this year. Oh, if I could only see into the future, how differently I would treat others . . . how I would keep myself from acting the fool in my preference for this one or my aversion toward that one. Even though I do not accomplish much for these charges with whom I am actually work- ing, why can't I realize that my wholehearted efforts for them may be benefiting some very elect souls elsewhere? Trusting You in Your selection of my co- laborers this year . . . knowing that I can turn all things to good, if I but love and trust You. Good Master, give me a bit of common sense! Grant that I may trust You completely, ab- solutely, always! 9 Generosity BEING generous in order to be like You. You came down from heaven and shed every drop of Your Precious Blood for me. You have been wonderfully good to me in so many ways . . . and then I would refuse You - be stingy with You - "drawing the line." Being generous in order to please You I never hesitate to take endless pains to please other people ... but when it comes to You ... why? and You love a cheerful giver. Being generous in order to overcome selfish- ness - in order to be more thoughtful of You and others. Being generous in order to do more good for souls .. "Spending myself and being spent" for them . . . from love of You, my Lord. 10 Being generous in order to know myself better. How self-denial brings out my smallness . .. my "secret" attachments. Being generous in my prayers - preparing them - really praying . . . not only for myself but also for others - thanking You - visiting You. Being generous in my work - doing my given work well, even if I don't like it - volunteering for other things. Being generous in mortification -regular - systematic - out of love. Keeping the Rule - the whole Rule - out of love . . . and not for other motives. "To refuse You nothing, my Lord, please." II Mortification DENYING myself in order to be like You .. . and Mother Mary . . . to follow You. You were often hungry . . . thirsty . . . tired . . . had no place to lay Your Sacred Head. And I would seek delicacies - tasty or cold drinks - comfortable chairs. Denying myself a drink of water - making myself wait a few minutes - not eating between meals when unnecessary. Keeping superfluous things . . . clothes . . . trinkets - keeping silence - guarding my eyes " - kneeling instead of sitting at prayers. Doing this regularly . . . systematically -out of love - in a spirit of penance for myself and the world. Really proving my earnestness in following You by my self-denial. 12 Patience BEING patient in order to be like You. They scourged You -mocked You - insulted You - crucified You and You bore it with patience. And I even let imaginary things upset me or let inevitable things "get on my nerves." You have been so patient with me yet I would be impatient with others with myself. Charity is patient . . . is kind. Being patient in order to please You. Not pleasing myself in giving way to impatience Your will not mine - in success or failure - in happiness -111 sorrow -in my work - in my spiritual life even. 13 Being patient in order to bring souls to You. Blessed are the meek . . . Blessed are the peacemakers. When I correct others, do I do it kindly - patiently -like You - enauring faults - praying for others -calmly? Being patient in order to know myself better . . . the cause of my impatience bodily ailments ... irritable because my plans or will were thwarted . .. when blamed or corrected ... pride . . . self-love and selfishness . critical spirit . . . hardheartedness. "Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine." Silence SPEAKING with others instead of with You. Listening to others instead of to You. So anxious to speak with others . . . why - just thoughtlessness ... busybody. Failing against charity by disturbing - by criticizing - by looking sad. Keeping my passions silent through mor- tification. Showing my temper by my exterior . . . lazy positions. Keeping silence by avoiding absent-mindedness . . . really putting my heart and soul into my work. Or failing by imagining all sorts of impossible situations - daydreaming - acting foolishly in consequence. All this to imitate You, my Lord, and to be able to be Your companIOn; telling You in- stead of others. 15 Prayer "MORE good is done by prayer than this world dreams of." If only I could really believe that. I pray so little . . . so poorly. Sometimes glad when I am called away from prayer. My vocal prayers - using my book - definite intentions - Spiritual Communions - thanking my Lord. My posture ... tone of voice ... hurrying through them. My meditation the preparation. Jotting down things to talk over with Jesus ... Mary ... Joseph - for the morning - for the evening. Real contact with Jesus ... opening my heart to Him .. thanking Him. adoring Him' . . . planning with Him. 16 My visits -how many -what kind -when? Ejaculations. Making up to You, my Lord, for prayers poorly said or omitted. How seldom I really talk with You, heart to Heart. 17 Charity ATTITUDE toward others ... toward those in my charge. . toward equals . . . toward supenors too strict. bitter... unforgiving favoritism. Looking for their affection because of my- self . . . not because of their good . . . to lead them to You, Good Master, and to Mother Mary. Talking about them ... what is good blameworthy . . . accusing . . . excusing. Thoughts about them when preferred to me .. . when they hurt me ... when they cut me .. . brooding. Or thinking over and talking over the faults of others with You, my Lord. devotedness . . . unselfishness . . . only toward some kind words interested in others' work . . . health . . . 18 amusements ... points of view. Friendliness ... one heart and one soul. Praying for others . . . suffering for others. Loving others not for their sake, but for You. Work PREOCCUPATION ... why. Attachment . . . why. Offering my liking for it often to You liking it too much . . . seeking myself in it. Glad to be allowed to do things for You. Really doing my work for You. Glad to "spend myself and be spent" for You. Anxiety ... why. Lack of interest . . . why. Profiting from its "difficulty." Letting it keep me from my prayers. Careful preparation and planning - systematic and regular - methodic or haphazard -prompt. In all work whether I like it or not. Doing it to please You, my Lord . . . Mother Mary - for souls . . . reparation . . . penance . . . my own sanctification. "Good Master, don't let me spoil Your work!" 20 Humility and Simplicity FORGETTING self for You, my Lord. Trying to please You ... and You alone one end, not two, or three, or four. Trying to please others and worrying about what they think . . . pleasing myself, secretly, perhaps. Haughty in speech - 1ll manners - in thoughts. Self-seeking in obedience - occupations -food -clothing - doing things for others. Bearing to have others preferred to me ... in having them get credit due to me. How do I feel when not consulted .. when rebuked unjustly . . . justly . . . fooled by flatterers, perhaps. Thanking You for the talents You have given 2I me . . . developing them as fully as I can . . . using them for You. Telling You of my vain and proud thoughts .. feelings. False humility ... proud of my humility. "Enter my heart, 0 Lord, my God, and make it like to Thine." 22 Poverty REALLY wanting to be poor like You . . like our Blessed Mother . only what I need . . . in clothes -in food - in the room and articles given me for my use. Asking permissions for things because my su- periors take Your place . . . because these things come from You . . . and asking per- missions reminds me of that. Superfluous things . . . wasting things . . . or time. Negligent with things given me for my use ... for my care. Gifts . . . taking and giving. "Glad that I can do with less." "Glad to have nothing of my own." "Like You, my Lord, and Mother Mary 111 order to save souls." 23 Chastity FOR MYSELF . . . a safeguard . . . taking no chances . . . reading . . . other liberties. Watching over my eyes ... cunous ... plainly unrestrained . . . natural . . . or affected. Mindful of Your Presence within me, my Lord . . . Your companionship with me ... that I am Yours. Speaking with You . . . looking or not look- ing for You, to do Your work. In order to be like You . . . and Mary. For others ... in order not to shock but to attract . . . the beauty of holiness. Especially with my colaborers and charges ... politeness . . . refinement . . . pleasing naturalness. Mannerisms in speech -in walking -in posture - in gestures. Don't let me be untrue to You, Good Master. 24 Obedience OBEYING in order to be like You. You obeyed . . . and how much it cost You at times . . . especially in the Garden of Gethsemane . . . the bloody sweat . . . the "aloneness" . . . which made You beg Your Father, and even three times, to re- lease You from that for which You had ex- pressly come down to earth. You obeyed . your creatures. You obeyed . . . your enemies. You obeyed . . . hypocrites, weak-kneed men, because Your Father wanted You to do so. And I must be like You. I vowed to do so. I must obey for Your sake it is foolish, useless to obey a mere man for mere human motives - through fear - through insincerity and hypocrisy - through politics - through mere human affection - or just because I have to. You ask me to obey in faith -in love - in order to do Your will - in all that is not against the Rule and Your commandments - cheerfully and promptly. You want me to ask my permissions - to show respect to my superiors - to report as soon as possible when I have presumed permissions. You definitely do not want me to get permis- sions through flattery - through trickery or half-truth - through threats - through outbursts of temper - or in any way to "force" my supenor to consent. Good Master, help me to obey as You did. and for Your sake. love ot My lord MY MODEL . . . given me by God Himself ... my Lord and Master ... my Friend ... my only true Friend. Why is it so hard for me to love You . . . to know You intimately. Is it because You are too good to me (I take things for granted) . . . or too big? I must live intimately with You . . . make You real to myself . . . I must not miss the biggest thing that can come into my life . . . I must not "avoid" You. I must read about You (as I do about others whom I admire and like) - observe You closely and study You -cultivate Your friendship (as I do others') - be often in Your company and like to be in Your company -learn to look at life as You do - talk with You and listen to You often - become like You 27 - do anything for You - go more to Your Mother. Is it really possible for me to like You? Am I concerned about whether I like You or not? love of Mother Mary OUR MOTHER, Good Master, Yours and mine. At Mass and Holy Communion with her that she might prepare me for Your coming . . . thank You for and with me . . . be with . us when You come. Talking with her . .. thinking of her ... consulting with her . . . telling her everything. Letting her form me into "another Christ" . . . becoming more and more like her... loving her. Helping her to bring souls to You trying to please her . . . because I want to imitate You in Your love for Your Mother. Coming to You through her because You want it that way. JP articular Examen tor Retreat WITH YOU, my Lord . . . to find out the _ "why" ... and the "how." Spending the retreat with You. Finding it hard. pleasant... why. "Avoiding" You . . . why -sm - attachments - afraid of sanctity -lack of full trust in You - plain selfishness. o Master, help me to surrender. Why do I find it so hard to love You? .. . J s it because I do not know what love means .. . or because I cannot appreciate what You have done for me? You made me . . . and so wonderfully. Thank You for giving me . . . atr -food -friends -vocation 30 - Mother Mary - Yourself, now and forever. Silence . . . spoiling my chances of a good re- treat . . . spoiling someone else's retreat ... letting someone spoil mine. Keeping You company . . . telling You lll- stead of others . . . listening to You . You who are in my heart. Charity . . . loving others because I love You so much . . . praying for others for a good retreat. Making reparation for my colaborers . . . my charges during the past year . . . those who have wronged me . . . those whom I have wronged. Giving good example - I pray now for them for every soul in the world - "One heart and one soul." Confidence ... upset ... I cast myself upon Your Sacred Heart. Please pity me. "Even though You slay me, yet will I trust You." To whom else shall I go? - You are Wisdom . . . and Mercy . . . and Love. What more could I want. Discouraged . . . "We two will Wlll, You and I." This afternoon I will talk more with You . Help me to know myself clearly . . . to open my heart to You in all sincerity. Don't let me fool myself . . . or be insincere with others . . . and with You. Help me to plan my life . . . all over again if necessary . . . for next year .. forever. I do trust You . . . my Maker . . . my Eternal End and Happiness. Let me - I say it in all reverence -let me fall in love with You. Mother of my Lord, help me; pray for me. 32 827172-001 827172-002 827172-003 827172-004 827172-005 827172-006 827172-007 827172-008 827172-009 827172-010 827172-011 827172-012 827172-013 827172-014 827172-015 827172-016 827172-017 827172-018 827172-019 827172-020 827172-021 827172-022 827172-023 827172-024 827172-025 827172-026 827172-027 827172-028 827172-029 827172-030 827172-031 827172-032 827172-033 827172-034 827172-035 827172-036