r mprimi potest : 

Peter Brooks, S. ]. 

Praep. Provo Missourianae 

Nihil obstat: 

F . ]. Holweck 

Censor Librorum 

Imprimatur : 

>1< J oannes ]. Glennon 

Archiepiscopus Sti. Ludovici 

Sti. Ludovici, die 20 Aprilis 1939 

Seventh printing. March 1944 

ANY FINANCIAL PROFIT made by 

the Central Office of the Sodality 

will be used for the advancement 

of the Sodality Movement and the 

cause of Catholic Action. 

Copyright 1939 

THE QUEEN'S WORK, Inc. 



INTRODUCTION 

D
URING the Students' Spiritua l L eade r ship 

Convention h eld in the winter of 1938, 
fifteen thousa nd young people fra nkly and 

s p ir itedly discus sed the question: 
"What do you think constitutes good manners 

for people of your age?" 
The disc ussion proved so stimulating, the 

a dvice the young men a nd WOmen gave was so 
practical a nd valuable tha t I asked them whe ther 
they would be willing to put in writing some of 
the things that they u rged as s t a ndards of good 
manners. They agreed most h eartily, 

So in the spring of tha:t same year we sent out 
a questionna ire to the schools tha t had been r ep-
r esented a t the conventions. Out of the answers 
tha t were returned to us, this booklet h as been 
compiled. ' 

T hat makes it, as you see, som ething diffe r ent 
in the way of a book . on manners. 

This is not the a dvice of oldsters to young, 
sters. These are not . rules la id down by the 
older generation for the younger generation . 
This ' is not a compilation of things that parents 
and t eachers and guides recommend that the 
younger generation do ; there are a good many 
books like that. 

This is a booklet .on manners written by young' 
people for young people. 

All I ha ve done is to t a k e wha t they said a t 
the convention and la t er put down in writing 
their reasoned opinions a nd compile them into 
th1'S-- bookle t . 

N.
. L the rules contained h ere were written by 

the young people themselves. All the 
standards of g ood manne rs set forth he re 

a re st\\ndards tha t these young people them-
selves \let forth as necessary and important. 

ThesEl a r e in othe r w ords rulE' S that the young . 
people thought, if observed b y themselves and · 
others Qf their generation, would make life ' 
pleasant'i!r . . 

Because these are youth's' own rules, pre-
sented to .our r eader s in" exactly the 'w a y that 
they were written by these 'young people. we ' 
think that this bookle t is extremely valuable. 

Young people can pick it . up , read it, and, w e 
hope, follow it, knowing tha t it was writte n by 
young men and women, boys a nd girls of their 
own age from every major section of the coun -
try who have contributpd the ir opinions on man -
ners. If young people think t hat th ese r ules a re 
important. they must be important. If g:ood. 

-;-:- 1 .... , 



manners modeled on these rules would maJ{e 
the lives of young people happier, then there is 
good reason why such manners should become 
the custom of the country. 

Older people will find the suggestions in this 
booklet highly· illuminating. In the main good 
manners seem not to have changed much with 
the passing of time and the speeding up of our 
habits of living. We of ,the older generation cart 
offer this booklet to the 'younger generation with 
the assurance that it contains, not our anCient, 
slightly petl-ified opiniOns, but the fresh obser-
vations of their contemporaries. 

Y
OUNG people are often accused of bad 'man-
ners. Perhapsyoimg, people have ' alWays 
been accused of bad manners. They move':so 

much more swiftly th'a~ '" do their elders ' that 
they ' naturally barge Into things, occa$iortally 
trip up the passer-by, aild sometimes gO sprawl-
ing on their own ,faces. 'They have not le'arned 
that comfortable, living 'depends upon 'the kh{)wl-
edge ,of what to do and how to do itwith .. th-e 
least noise and confllsion 'on their own parts and 
the least friction 'with ' others. It takes five hun-
dredmiles .. of slow careful 'driving ' to' put 'an 
automobile in ' cortdition,'for"s'afe, fast, ,quiet rld-
ing. tf takes ' ii ' goOd' many years ·toleal'n how to 
live with our fellow m'en comfortably, urbanely. 
and without jarring. Some people never . learn 
this. They always have sharp elbows and feet 
that invariably locate one's most painful corn; 
Others seem to have instinctive good manners. 
Others live 'in homes where good manners are 
the custom, acquired from early days. 

At any rate young people clearly have fine 
ideas of what constitutes good manners. And if 
they ·are' sometimes, bored .by the lectures on 
behavior from their 'elders, they may be inter-
ested to know what their associates really think 
about the important subject of how to Iive ' pain-
lessly ·with. people. ,For the art of manners; 
good ' manners, could probably be defined as the 
art of 'living painlEissly with people. For , that 
matter , .it could be ' defined .as the , ,outward ,,: ex-
pression of our respect for our associates, Chris-
tian' char.ity :express';hg , itself in .dne considera-
tion for.' the , toes" nerves, belongings, Iikes. . .and 
disllkes:. convenience, 'and 'peace of others. 

We :'offer . YOU what . Cathoiicyoung · people 
have told, ~Is ,they consider, to"oe gOod.:manners,. 
You more than Iikely· .will think thatlhey have 
spoken and written wisely and well. ' All of us 
will sincerely hope' that such excellent rules 
meet , with more widespread :acceptance 'and 
practice 'by those of us .who 'are young and those 
of us who are ' old:' " . .. ' ' .. , " 

.;..:; 2 ~ 



YOUTH SAYS: 

<Jtuue -Alte qOO<i A/aIUf,e/14 
Young People Tell Themselves 

How to Behave . 

• 
QUERY: What do you regard as good 

manners around the home? 

S
INCE young people must of necessity 

spend a large section of. their lives at 

home, since charity is supposed to begin in 

that familiar spot, since good manners are 

most likely to turn sour in the home atmos-
phere, since young people are most likely 

to be careless ' there, and since the happi-
ness in homes depends in large measure 

upon the charm, gaiety, cooperation, obedi-

ence, and whole attitude . of the children. 

we asked first for rules regarding proper 

conduct at home. 

Here are the points stressed by the 
young people. 

The vast majority listed as the basis of 

good mam;ters at home the wider virtue 

of obedience . 
. Here are other virtues that they regarded 

as underlying good manners. 
-- " 

COURTESY to aU the members of the family; a spirit of cheerfulness while 
in the house; cooperation in making the 

home an attractive and pleasant place in 

which to live; proper respect and consid-

eration for the other members of the 

family; 11- spirit of peace and re~dy kind~ 

-= 3 ,.,... 



ness; neatness about one's person, room, 

and the whole house; punctuality, partic-

ularly at meals; quietness of manner, 

especially through a well-modulated voice; 

willingness to undertake one's share of the 

work of the house. 

iiere are some of the rules that recurred 

repeatedly in the discussion of these vari-

ous points: 

Unfailing courtesy and a good-humored 

acceptance of the habits of the rest of the 

family are important. 

Our homes are real homes and not board-

ing houses. 
Please and thank-you belong first in ·our 

own homes. . 

On entering . his house, a boy should 

remove his hat. 

The first signs of courtesy belong to 
father and mother; the next to brothers and 

sisters. 

Courtesy demands that we introduce our 

family to our friends and our friends to 
our family. 

A question from a member of the family 

rates a polite answer. 

COOPERATION between all the members of the family makes for a happy home. 
The day starts with a regular pleasant, 

cheerful morning greeting given to all. 

The day ends with a kiss for father and 

mother and at least a cheerful good night 

for the others. 
Unwanted and superfluous criticisms cause 

friction. When criticisms are asked for, 

they should be . given discreetly. 

- 4-



Every member- of the family must con-

tribute to the conversation, especially at 

meals. 

Even younger members of the family are 

human beings, and they should be treated 
as human beings. They have a right to 

express their opinions, which should be 

treated with respect. 

When a member of the family is speak-

ing, it is bad manners to cut it. 

A happy family is one that shares its 

belongings, its joys, its problems, and even 

its secrets. 

The telephone should not be monopolized 
by anyone member of the family. 

When you are answering the phone for 

another, it is only decent to get and note 

down necessary details of the message. 

The family has a right to be informed <if 

your activities. 

Essential for peace and cooperation is a 

respect for the property of others. Such 

property should not be borrowed without 

permission; it should not be taken against 

the wishes of the owner, however young 

he may be. 

Due regard must be paid to the particular 

need of each member of the family and to 

his particular likes and dislikes. 

One should inform mother or father when 

one is not going to be home, especially for 

meals. 

Each member of the family should be in 

at a respectable hour at night. 

-5-



A CHEERFUL home is a happy home. Those members of the . family who 
bring to their home cheerfulness and a 
happy spirit are doing their part. 

Home is the place to practice smiling. 

Grumbling is out of place in a home, 

which shoul!,l be a happy place. 

When asked to do a favor or an errand, 

young people should display their most 

cheerful manner. 

In home recreation and games each mem-

ber should play a cheerful part. 

The gayest laughter should be reserved 

for our own homes. 

H OMES are held together by a spirit of mutual respect. Such respect should 
be shown by the parents toward their 

children, by children toward their parents, 

by children toward one another. ' 

Vulgarity of act or expression has no 

place in the home. 

Members of the family rate our regular 

and cheerful greetings. 

Our parents above all others merit our 

respect because of who they are and what 
they mean to us. . , 

But younger brothers and sisters deserve 
our respect too. 

A decent, dignified posture, espeCially 

when we are sitting, is an essential sign of 

respect. 

We must have a decent respect for the 

rights of others. Thus: Under no eirc,unle 

stances should we without permission read 

any mail except our own. We should not 

enter the room of another member· of the 

- 6-



family without knocking. We should respect 

other members' desire for privacy. This 

applies to their telephone conversations if 
they do not wish to repeat them. . 

Each member of the family has a r ight 

to his opinion, which right we should respect. 

Sarcasm indicates a complete lack of respect 

for what others think or say. 

Respect for our home is shown in our 

respect for the furnishings of that home-

a complete absence of the destructive spirit, 

a normal desire that things be well taken 

care of. 

H OMES should be places of peace. That peace results from the attitude of all 
the members. One pugnacious, quarrelsome, 

nagging, or spiteful person can destroy the 

peace of the home. 

The last people in the world with whom 

one should quarrel are the members of 

one's family. 

It is often possible for one member of 

the family to avert a quarrel between others 

by kindness, conciliation, or some well-timed 

distraction. 
Sarcasm and the hurting of others' feel-

ings serve to destroy peace. 

We all have shortcomings; the peaceful 

person tries to overlook these in the mem-

bers of his own family. Calling attention 

to shortcomings breeds trouble. 

A bad temper needs controlling at home 

more than it does anywhere else. 

Patience and kindness should be the rule 

in dealing with those younger than our-

selves. 

-7-



The worst thing one can wear around 

the house is a chip on the shoulder. 

MUTUAL kindness is the.source of deep-est joy in the home. 
Father is often a forgotten man; his 

sons and daughters should sincerely try to I 

consider his comfort and happiness. 

Kindness to mother consists in those 

small signs of affection and gratitude that 

are easy to give and delightful to receive. 

Kindness to brothers and sisters is dis-
played by a regard for their feelings, their 

personal belongings, their interests. 

Mother is pleased when we are kind to 

her friends, even if we do not care for them. 

The cook-mother or_elder sister or aunt 
-is made happy by a compliment on her 

good dinner. 

Temperamental attitudes have no place 
in a happy home. 

A NEAT home is a comfortable home. Neatness depends on the thoughtful-
ness of all the members of the family. 

We wipe our feet on the door mat before 

we enter the house. 

We dress properly and in our oWl). room. 

We are clean about our clothes and our 

person. 

We take proper care of our oWl). room. 

We , do not toss our clothes around the 

house; we hang them up properly. 

A FAMILY is a society. There are set times .when societies do things together. 
Punctuality is an obligation, especially for 

meals. 

-8-



For all " those things that .the family does 

together, be on time. 

Meals are spoiled and the spirit of the 
family is broken when young people fail 

to arrive on time. 

It is good manners and fine training to 

get out of bed when you are called. 

If parents set an hour for your coming in 

at night and retiring, that hour should be 

observed. 

A P1!1ACEFUL house is a qu~et house. Laughter is not a disturbing factor; 
neither is music. Unnecessary noises and 

disturbing noises are out of place. 

Young people should cultivate pleasant, 

restrained voices. 

Do not have the radio so loud as to 

disturb others. 

On the other hand quiet should be permit· 
ted parents when they want to listen to 
the radio. " 

Doors should be opened and closed quietly. 

Parties can be most successful without 

being loud and boisterous. 

I N a well-regulated home each member has some assigned task and does it willingly 
and thoroughly in gratitude for the bless-

ings and protection of that home, in col-

laboration with the others of the family, 

and as training, if he or she is young, for the 

home that will someday be his or her own. 

Sons and daughters accept and carry out 

promptly and efficiently the regular job 

assigned them. 

They show a willingness to help when 

work becomes a burden to mother. 

-9-



Sometimes they offer to do extra work, 

to run errands, when they see that this will 

be of help to mother or father. 

G OOD table manners at home are a training for table manners in com-
pany. Good table manners are a sign of 

respect for those with whom we eat; they 

a,re the simplest marks of a well-bred per-

son; they are the triumph of a man over the 

brute instincts of his animal nature. 

Our table manners at home shourd be at 

least as good as our table manners in 
company. 

If our table manners at home are bad, 

we will be sure to slip when we dine with 

outsiders. 

Members of the family should come to 

table decently dressed. 

All noise in eating is bad taste. 

Eating too rapidly, talking with the mouth 

full, drinking with the mouth full are 

unpleasant and annoying to others. 

Conversation ' at meals lifts a purely 

physical act to a high social plane. 

Do not criticize the food. 

A FAMILY in which the members really love one another is a family that keeps 
its own affairs to itself. It does not criticize 

the members of the family to outsiders or 

air the family troubles and grievances in the 

presence of strangers. 
A ,young person will never criticize any 

member of the family when visitors are 

present. 

He or she will not 'speak unkindly of the 

family to others. ' , i 
-10-



Family affairs are not discussed outside 

the family circle or when visitors are 

present. 

Members of the family will not argue or 

disagree in the presence of strangers. 

Do not "gripe" about family matters out-

side the house. 

QUERY: What signs of politeness should 

be given to parents? 

S
INCE parents have done so much for 

their children, to parents, our young 

people told us, children should show good 

manners based on sincere respect, loyal 

love, and obedience. Young people owe their 

parents: 

respect for the wishes of their parents, 

their best manners, 

a generally helpful manner, 

courtesy in their external conduct. 

GOOD manners toward parents can be shown in speech. / 
We should not be afraid that we are 

using the words please and thank-yo;;too 

often; gratitude should be expressecl fre-

quently and gracefully. i 
These words should be the external signs 

of gratitude for the services our/ parents 

have rendered us. L . --
We should excuse ourselvp.s wben we pass 

in front of them or run into 0em. --
Never, either when they are present or 

absent, should we call them by nicknames. 

Never should we contradict them. 

-11-



PARENTS merit consideration and defer-ence in our conduct. 
Sons and daughters treat their parents 

as superiors at all times. 

They ask permission to do things. 

When they leave, they tell their parents 

their destination, the companions with 

whom they will be, and the hour at which 

they expect to return. 

They accept their parents ' advice as well 

given and well meaning. 

G OOD manners require external expres-sion. Sons and daughters manifest a 
respectful, considerate attitude. 

They show their parents all essential signs 

of courtesy. 

When it is a question of giving deference 

to parents or to others, their parents are 

given the preference. 

CHILDREN remember that love is most clearly manifested in small things-
the cheerful word, the phone call, the small 

gift, the remembering of birthdays, the 

letters when away. Small external acts of 

respect should be given parents: 

Children rise when their parents enter 

the room. 

Parents are always introduced first when 

introductions are made. 

Children are quick to recognize and speak 

to their parents when they meet them in 

public places. 

They treat parents as a respectful boy or 

girl treats his or her parent on a date. 

They see that parents are always seated 

first. 

- 12 -



S
ON S and daughters know that good man-

ners toward their parents touch the 

following points: 

They help their parents in their work, 

where this is possible. 

They respect the family budget and are 

careful in money matters. 

They never pout. 

They accept some of the burden of caring 

for their younger brothers and sisters. 

They show their pleasure in the company 

of their parents. 

They> stay home when by so doing they 

give their parents an opportunity to go out. 

QUERY: What constitutes good manners 

toward brothers and sisters? 

T HE young men and women were emphatic in their conviction that good 
manners toward brothers and sisters ,Uar~ 
based on love, consideration for their ngjlts 

as human beings and as members of Jihe 

family, tolerant good humor, and f{b'dCi . ,-
example. They offered these general rules: 

Younger brothers and sisters should be 

treated as equals ... as human beings ... 

not as annoying little animals or servants 

. . . as good friends _ .. as guests in the 

house. 

Familiarity should breed neither curtnes~ 

nor flippancy. 

Brothers and sisters should help one 

another. 

They should be companionable. 

Kindness and love are fundamentals - in 

any question of manners. 

~ ]3-



THEY recommended these rules to govern speech with brothers and sisters: 
Be their truest friend but not their sever-

est critic. 

Salute them when they appear in the 
morning. 

Don't yell at them. 

Give them credit for having as much 
intelligence as you have. 

Don't pick on a certain brother or sister 

who may seem stupid or homely: 

Never belittle them in the presence of 

others . 
. Avoid criticizing them. 

Don't be a tattletale. 

Nagging and teasing are a curse and a 

bore. 

Your brothers and sisters rate a thank-

yo~ and a please and an excuse-me as much 
as do outsiders. 

You have no right to give them orders. 

It is a shame to embarrass them in the 

presence of others. 

Avoid asking them embarrassing ques-

tions. 

Accept their jokes or their "cracks" in a 

spirit of fun; don't grow angry. 

T-- HE privacy of our brothers and sisters is sacred. We should not touch their 
property except with their permission . 

. Ask permission each time you want to use 

their belongings. 

Respect their.~privacy, their rooms, bureau 
drawers, phone- calls, .books. 

Borrowing is a bad practice in families; 

borrowing without permission is the begin-
ning of ill will. . 

-'-'- 14 -'-



Under no circumstances, unless with per-

mission, should the mail of another member 

of the family be read or tampered with. 

Their clothes, their sporting goods belong 

to them and should be so regarded. 

H ERE are some special recommendations . that were offered: 
Help younger brothers or sisters with 

lessons and unpleasant tasks. 

Remember t~em when you have candy. 
If you regard them as pests, they prob~ 

ably will regard you asa pest too. . 

Occasionally let .them have the biggest 

piece of pie orcake. ,. 
Treat their friends with respect ; don't 

critiCize or belittle them. 

Wh,en you are working, give them a little 
money. 

Never blackmail them. 

If there is any correcting to be done, let 

'your parents do it. 

H ERE are some suggestions that were offered for good manners betweeI} 
brothers and sisters: 

There should always be loyalty between 
brothers and sisters. . . 

Treat your brother as you would a 

favored boy friend . 
. Treat your sister as you would a favored 

girl friend. 

A brother should show the same consider-

ation for his· sister that he shows for any 

other girl, escorting her properly, avoiding 

anything that will embarrass her. 

A brother should sometimes ask his · sis-
ter t o dance, 

-15 -



A brother should not let a boy get too 

"fresh" or personal with his sister. 

Sisters should sometimes accept the 

advice of older brothers. 

Brothers should see to it that their sis-

ters get a chance to meet some of their boy 
friends. 

Brothers should occasionally take their 

sisters to a show, a party, a dance. 

Sisters should occasionally do favors for 

their brothers-take care of their things, 

make candy for them, 

QUERY: Do you see a relationship 

between obedience and good manners? 

POR everyone who answered this ques-tion by saying or writing no, thirty-five ' 
said that they saw a close connection. 

Good manners, they answered, are based 

on obedience. Good manners spring from 

the desire to please, the desire to show 

respect. 

QUERY: What social qualities does a 

young man most respect in and expect of a 

young woman? Why? 

T o THIS question the young men . answered with the following interesting 
list of qualities: 

They wanted the young woman to dis-

play modesty, purity, good manners, sports-
manship, personality, neatness and good' 

taste in dress, a sense of humor, the ability 

to listen well, femininity and naturalness, 

sincerity, intelligence, poise, kindness. They 

expressed themselves as disliking in a girl 

the habits of drinking and smoking, loud-

-16-



ness of speech, the use of too much make-

up, profanity. 

H ERE are some of the rules for social , conduct that were laid down by young 
men for young women: 

Girls should be independent and not. fol-

low the crowd. 

They should be able to adapt themselves 

to variou:; conditions. 

Girl:; :;hould not desert their escort for 

:;omeone else for the whole evening. 

They should have a certain amount of 

gratitude. 

They should be feminine and not mod-

ernly mannish. 

No bragging, please, about past dates. 

Girls should be decent in dress and in 

speech. 

They should not be too free to stay up 

too late. 

They should be satisfied with less costly 

things. 

Wisely they will laugh at thpir escort's 

jokes, but not to the extent of embarrassing 

him. 

They will not be ashamed of their parents 

or immediate family. 

If they do not like children, dog'S, and 

flowers, they are untrustworthy. 

They should avoid loud clothes and bril-

liant .fingernail polish. 

~17-

\ 



I 
QUERY: What social qualities does a 

young woman most respect in and expect of 

a young man? Why? 

H
IGH in the list of qualities that the 
young ladies demanded o'f their escorts 

were manliness, sportsmanship, decency, 

kindness, punctuality, politeness, respect, 

intelligence, courtesy, neatness, a sense of 

humor. They dislike a boy who drinks, uses 

obscene language, swears, or fails in respect · 

toward women. 

THEY suggested the following definite rules for social conduct: 
A young man should cultivate a neat 

appearance. 

He should develop the ability to converse 

pleasantly on pleasant subjects. 

He should leave references to his other 

girl friends out of the conversation. 

He should be dependable and considerate. 

He must be able to take a joke. 

He should cultivate a sense of humor: 

He should know when to go home, not 

stay around too late, and nor come bobbing 

up continuously. 

He will assist a girl who is carrying a 

heavy bundle. 

He should take a girl home at the time 
she is supposed to get there, otherwise she 

will be the one to suffer. 

He should not grumble about expenses; it 

sounds too depressing. 

-"- 18 ~ 



.QUERY: When a young man calls. on or 

for a'· young lady, what · is expected of the 

young lady? 

T o THIS question the young men answered :· 



She should be ready when he calls. If 

she isn't ready, she certainly should not 

keep him waiting long. 

She should introduce him to those memo 

bers of her family that are present. 

She should be polite and pleasant, make 

him feel at ease in her home, be cordial 

and entertaining. 

If the boy is a little timid, she must help 

him through the ordeal of meeting the 

family. 

She should express her appreciation for 

an enjoyable evening. 

She should not: 

pout or hold a grievance; 

expect him to carry her compact; 

expect gifts at each call; 

"make an entrance"; 

look or act bored while the parents are 

conversing with the boy; 

excuse her family's faults by excessive 

explanations; 

seem too glad to see him. 

QUERY: What form of entertainment 

should a young man offer a young lady? 

T HE following were suggested as the most popular forms of recreation: 
Automobile rides, dances, the theater and 

the motion pictures, parish and school social 

activities, sports such as golf, tennis, swim-

ming, and roller skating, picnics and excur-

sions, card games, dinners, music. 

-- 20 ·--



QUERY: What expenses should a young 

lady expect a young man to bear? 

THE vast majority of both the young men and the young women gave this answer: 
If the young man has invited the young 

woman out, he should bear all the expenses 

-tickets, transportation, refreshments, cor-

sage for formal affairs. 
Some qualified this answer slightly. If 

he cannot afford to take her out very often, 

then he should offer inexpensive forms of 

entertainment-taking long walks, visiting 

at home and with friends, attending band 

concerts <;>r free musicals, . plllying tennis or 

going swimming. 

Only a few mentioned cases in which the 

girl should pay a share of the expenses: If 

she is going steady with a young man who 

is out of work, she may bear half· the 

expenses. If she does the inviting to some-

thing that requires tickets-for instance a 

formal school party - she furnishes the 

tickets, but she gives them to him to I pre-

sent at the door. 

QUERY: Do you believe in girls' spend-

ing money on boys? 

.pOR everyone who said . yes, even with 
qualifications, nine sa.id no ,without any 

qualifications. 

Some mentioned circumstances that might 

alter the general rule: If a girl loses a bet, 

she pays her bet and bears the necessary 

expenses. If a boy is jobless, the girl may 

pay his way. 

The general rule laid down was this; 

-21-



Girls should not pay for evenings of enter-

tainment -\Vith boys; girls offer as a return 

the· hospitality of their homes. 

Dutch treat, the sharing of expenses by 

the boy and the girl, was rejected over-

whelmingly. Neither the young men nor the 

yo.ung· ladies approved of the idea. Only a 

small minority saw any good in the Dutch 
treat, . 

QU.ERY: What rules would you set forth 

for proper conduct ·in automobile driving? 

THE following rules were offered by both the young men and the young women: 
Keep your eyes on the road and not on 

your friend. 

Both hands are needed on the wheel. 
··Speeding simply risks everyone's life. 

Too many should not be crowded into 

a car. 
It is smart to observe and follow traffic 

signals. 

GiHs should not be expected to sit on 

boys' laps. 

Girls should not try to distract the driver. 

Hence they should not ask too many 

questions. 

They should not complain about the car 

or about the bumps in the road. 

Cars were intended for transportation 

anll not for "necking," as a means of con-

veyance and not for the furthering of 

romantic impulses. 

. AvoId secluded spots. 

Alcohol and gasoline have ne:ver yet suc-

cessfully mixed. 

-22 -



QUERY: Should a girl be content to go 

to an informal affair if she has to travel in 

a street car? 

FOR everyone who answered no, thirty answered emphatically yes. This seemed 
to express the vast consensus of opinion: 

Certainly she should be content to go in 

a street car or bus. She makes her date feel 

at ease; she accepts his only means of 

transportation; not everyone has a car. She 

will date oftener if she has less false pride. 

QUERY: What are good rules for order-

ing food when dining out? 

Y OUNG men and women seem agreed on the general rules for ordering food. The 
rules they suggest are these : 

Be co,psiderate of the means of the person 

who is paying for the food. 

Girls should not order a dinner if they 

have been invited to have lunch or a snack. 

Exceeding the limit of the average 

allowance usually leads to a decrease in 

invitations. 

If the girl is not sure of her escort's 

means, she can either order something 

inexpensive or ask him to order for her. 

Young men are wise to make tentative 

suggestions, thus giving the young lady an 

idea"' of what they expect her to order. 

The young man, not the young lady, gives 

the order to the waiter. 

Hence the young lady gives her order to 

her escort. He in turn gives it to the waiter. 

Even when the young man can afford it, 

the girl is wise not to order only the most 
expensive things. 

-23 -



The worst kind of bad manners is bad 

manners to a waiter; he cannot retaliate 

without being in danger of losing his posi-

tion. Be courteous to waiters. 

Do not ask for things that are not on the 

menu. 
Comments on food should be confined 

to approval. Only the one who is paying for 

the meal has a right to comment unfavor-

ably on the food. 

Never be ashamed to let your escort know 

that it is a day of fast or abstinence. 

QU ERY: Give some rules of conduct at 

a dance. 

T HE following rules were recommended by young people: 
The first, middle, and last dances belong 

to your partner of the evening. 

A girl should dance with any respectable 

person of her acquaintance who asks her to 

dance. Only the best of reasons should 

make her refuse. If for some good reason 

she refuses, she should not immediately 

accept the dance with someone else. 

Young people should be respectful to 
chaperons. 

If he wishes to dance with other girls, a 

boy should see to it that his partner has a 

number of men with whom to dance. 

A young woman should not neglect her 

escort for another man. 

It is bad taste to dance all evening with 

the same person. 

A girl should not cross the dance floor 

alone. 

-24-



Courtesy to each and all of one's part-

ners is the general rule. 

A girl does not dance with a boy unless 

she has been formally introduced to him. 

Cheek-to-cheek dancing is bad manners. 

Young people should dance correctly, hold 

themselves erect, be neither too close nor 

too far away from the partner, and not rest 

their head on the shoulder of the partner. 

Boys soon find out and dislike a girl who 

steals another girl's dances. 

A man should always make satisfactory 

apologies if he is late in claiming a prom-

ised dance. 

If the dance floor is crowded, fancy steps 

are a nuisance and a danger. 

Young people should not leave the dance 

floor or the environs of the dance floor 

until it is time to go home. 

Neither party should wander off with 

someone else. 

Ladies and gentlemen are never boister-

ous or conspicuous. They can be pleasant, 

cheerful, and the best of company without 

becoming cheap and annoying to others. 

No lady or gentleman becomes intoxi-

cated at a party. 

Smoking and dancing at the same time is 

extremely bad manners. 

The lady should make the first move 

toward going home. 

A decent young man will not insist on a 

good-night kiss. 

-25 -



QUERY: What do you consider good 

manners In church? 

T HE young people indicated that good manners in church are based on rever-
ence and devotion and a faith in the living 

presence of God. God is. '3. king, and we 

should treat Him as such. Particular rules 

suggested were these: 

When at Mass, use a missal. 

Be prompt for all . church services. 

Stay until the services are at an end. · -, . 

Kneel, rise, and sit properly. 

When the priest is talking, refrain from 

reading a prayer book. 

Pay attention to the services and not to 
the fashions. 

Modest dress is the correct dress. 

Do not sit in the end of the pew and 

force people to crawl oyer you. 

Chewing gum is out of place in church. 

Never seek a certain boy or girl in church 

i-n- &l'del' tEl- sit wi-th him or her. 

Don't bother with eac:p. other during 

services. Give your attention to God. 

QUERY: What do you consider correct 

rules of · good manners at parties in private 

liomes? 

THESE are the chief rules that the ·· Young people saw fit to emphasize: 
The guests should arrive with reasonable 

punctuality. 

They should cooperate with ·the hostess's 

plans for entertainment; they should not 

decline to cooperate. 

- 26 -



C' If' you are accompanied by someone who 

is a stranger to the host or hostess, see to 

it that he or she meets host or . host~ssj 
chaperon~, and guests. , ', 

Young men should ask their hQstes~ .to 

dance with them. 

They should be agreeable and friendly to 

~n the guests and help them enjoy th ' 1II.-

selves. 

Guests should respect the property of 

their host or hostess. They should be care-

ful of the furnishings. Any slight form of 

destruction of the furnishings is worse than 

bad taste. Hence no "hell-raising," no mak-

inga selfish display of oneself, no throwing 

of ashes on the carpet or placing wet glasses 

on furniture. 

Rude and injurious tricks are not funny 

and are often most embarrassing to the 
victims. 

It is bad taste to monopolize the conver-

sation . 

. Raids on the icebox without the hostess's 
suggestion are in bad taste. 

Parties should not be turned into "neck-
ing" parties. 

Indecency in speech or action is gross and 

common and wrong. ' . 

Lights should not be tampered with, much 
less turned put. ' . 

Loudness of conduct in any form is bad 
manners. 

On leaving, one should thank the hostess 
for the pleasant evening. 

- 27 -



QUERY: What letters should a young 

person feel obliged to write? 

I N answer to this query the y?ung m~n and women offered the followmg as Impor-
tant enough to demand attention: 

Thank-you letters; bread-and-butter 

letters; letters of condolence; letters of 

acceptance or regret; acknowledgment of 

gifts or favors; letters of appreciation for 

sympathy expressed; letters to parents 

every week when away; letters of congratu-

lation; replies to business letters; corre-

spondence with intimate friends; letters of 

introduction; letters to friends in the hos-

pital, to older people who have been good 

to us, to teachers. 

QUERY: What do you consider good 

rules for girls' correct dress? 

THESE were the most frequent sugges-tions: 
Dresses should be suited to the occasion, 

neat, simple and becoming, of good color 

combination, without gaudiness or somber-

ness, unadorned by cheap jewelry, within 

the means of the wearer. 

These dresses were rejected: masculine 

in style, conspicuous, sloppy, incorrectly fit~ 

ted, too flashy, immodest in length, style, 

or cut. 

The girls advised great care of the hair 

and not excessive make-up. 

-28-



QUERY: Give some good rules for men's 

correct dress. 

T o THIS the young people answered with the following suggestions: 
Men's clothes should be suitable to the 

occasion, well pressed; sleeves should be 

rolled down, shoes shined, clothes in quiet 

color combinations; coats should be worn; 

neckties should be of quiet patterns. 

It was suggested that "men on the whole 

could be a little cleaner than they are. 

Their fingernails need attention; often they 

are filthy." The importance of well-brushed 

hair and clean shaves and clean teeth was 

urged. 

QUERY: Give some good rules to follow 

when one is using the telephone. 

THE following rules were offered as directions for those who find the tele-
phone a normal part of their life: 

Speak softly and politely over the phone. 

CQnversation should be cut to a reason-

able leugth. 

One 'should not monopolize the telephone. 

Do not hang up while the other person is 

still talking. 

The desil'es and needs and convenience of 

others should be considered when you are 

using the telephone. , 

Phone calls should be made at decent 

hours. 

Mealtime is not a decent time for calling: 

Unnecessary calls are often a nuisance. 

Courtesy should be shown t() ,theope:rlt~,or., 

-29 .~ 



Courtesy should be shown when the 

wrong number is given. 

None but the most informal dates should 
be made by phone. 

The phone should not be used for· jokes 
or guessing games. 

Do not use the phone for gossip, espe-
cially on a party line. 

Girls should not call boys except in real 
necessity. 

One should not telephone another person 

too frequently . .. 

The. per!')on who calls is the one who is 
supposed to end the conversation. 

The receiver should not be slammed into 
place. 

It is interestmg to note that it was 
ilnanimous1y . agreed that gitls should not 

call boys on the phone except in cases of 

absolute necessity. 

QUERY: Can you give some rules of 

conduct for dealing with elders who are not 

relatives? 

THE following were the rules most com-monly suggested by the young people: 
We owe to our elders courtesy, respect, 

and consideration. 
It is bad manners to contradict them. 

It is the worst kind of manners to laugh 
at them. .. 

Young· people should not act · bored in the 

presence of their elders. 

Older people deserve that mark of respect 

shown by young people's rising 'when older 

people enter the room. 

- 30 = 



If their elders are really dId, .younger 

people should assist them how' arid when 

they need it. 

The general rule is to treat such . elders 

as you would like your parents treated. 

QUERY: Give some rules for conduct in 

public places. 

THESE rules were offered: . Speak in a moderate tone of voice and 
avoid seeming loud and conspicuous. 

Always be poJite to clerks, employees, and 

others who serve you . . 

Running on the street or ' walking fQur 

abreast · is bad mann"ers; 

In placeso! public entertainment prompt-

miss isacQurtesy~ ·that should be observed. 
LoungIng around to gape at others is bad 

:tlorm. 

It is considered bad taste to eat in public 

places that are not meant for eating. 

Yawning, sneezing, coughing should "be 

suppressed as much as possibli:<. 

Well~bred people do not push andjostlf;l 
in a crowd. . 

" r 
QUERY: Can you suggestsom, rulesdt' 

conduct for school? 

T ::ei~d! were SO~El _ gf .. ":theSugge~;~~~"~ 
Inschool 'respect authority.~: · · . " .1 

. . L6yalty snouldbe 'given to" orie's.'dass;' ..•. 

Since the school does not belong to you, 

marking desks, destroying property, wasting 

materials are wrong. 



Attentiveness is the courtesy paid to 

one's teachers. 

One can at least try to look attentive 

and awake. 

Punctuality is essential. 

Membership in a clique is a handicap in 
life. . . 

One should-honestly- help less fortu- · 

nate students. 

The wise young person · is fri endly to new 

students. 

The decent student respects the books, 

papers, notebooks of others. 

Slouc4ing in one's place is bad mannen. 

It is worse manners to sponge off one's 

classmates for1:>ooks, supplies, anq the like. 

Cheating is bad mal1;ners and bad morals. 

POSTSCRIPT 

So here are the rules of conduct that 

these thousands of young people offer to 

themselves and to others. We present them 

just as they wrote them to us. 

We cannot help thinking wistfully about 

what a beautiful and attractive place the 

world would become if any measurable part 
of these rules was observed. . . . 

May Christ the Gentleman and Mary the ' 

Lady give our young people the strength to 

be gentle and the courage to be kind and 

the thoughtfulness needed to express · Chris-
tian charity in terms of good manners. 



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