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A FRANCISCAN PRINTERY PUBLICATION 

TO BOOK REVIEW EDITOR 

We shall be pleased to have 
you review 

. . . A b o u t . P o p u l a r . ! t y 

by . . .Lynn - A l a x a n d a r 

Price . . $ , 2 0 

in your periodical. Kindly send 
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cal in which the review ap-
pears to 

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PULASKI, WISCONSIN 



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b 
J ß y u t AletoanAeti 

T H E F R A N C I S C A N P R I N T E R Y 

Pulaski, Wisconsin 





N I H I L O B S T A T 
Rev. Nicolaus Gross 

Censor Librorum 

I M P R I M A T U R 
t Stanislaus V . Bona, D .D . 

Episcopus Sinus Viridis 

8-56-8M 1,138M 
F R A N C I S C A N P R I N T E R Y 

Pulaski, Wisconsin 

1956 

DeacMlffed 



C O N T E N T S 

The Magic of Popularity 5 

Your Million Dollars 8 

But I'm Catholic 13 

In My Own Backyard 18 

What About Sororities? ^ - - -IE 21 

Blind Dates ___|f____ 27 

Going Steady Liv , 32 

Hobbies —Ji-i.'L— p 38 

Let's Have a Party a ___. -I 45 

Self-Confidence _ 53 





THE MAGIC OF POPULARITY 

' J ' h e age-old question of what makes a teen popular 
is appearing more and more frequently in the mail-

bag. T h e popular teens seem to shine like brilliant stars 
against a black velvet sky. Popularity is like a jewel, 
glowing so brighdy that it automatically attracts admirers. 
But often, for those whose magic touch it has evaded, 
there is a tinge of wistful longing. W h y is it that some 
teens are sprinkled with stardust and others are dim by 
comparison? 

Actually, popularity doesn't depend upon material 
things whose evidence we can tangibly detect. It 's some-
thing deeper than that. I t consists of qualities that ap-
peal to others. But most of all, it consists of a genuine 
interest in other people. If you can love your friends for 
themselves, overlooking their faults and emphasizing their 
virtues, your first battle has been won. Will Rogers used 

— 5- ioTi 

t&y 



6 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

to say that he never met a man he could not like. People 
loved him for that very wonderful philosophy. 

If the phone doesn't ring as of ten as you might like, 
and friends seem just beyond your reach, try taking 
a closer look at the teens you admire. Imitation can be 
your greatest asset if you use it wisely. This doesn't 
mean imitating the whole person. I t means imitating the 
quality you most admire. Perhaps Bill is always ready 
with a cordial handshake. Good! With little effort , you 
can do the same. Phil has a marvelous knack for remem-
bering names. This knack doesn't always develop natu-
rally. You too can acquire the art. If Phyllis and Marie 
can keep you howling with laughter at their merry conver-
sation, be an attentive listener. By using a little imagina-
tion and a lot of exaggeration, you can develop a sense 
of humor in your daily conversation. 

Not many months back I received an urgent plea 
f rom a girl in her mid-teens requesting a list of popular 
slang phrases so that she would be "in the know" when 
she talked with the other teens at school. As it was, she 
knew none and felt left out of her friends' bright chatter. 
Their line of talk was "real gone," and hers was not. 
Well, personally, I wouldn't care to be "real gone." But 
she did — and it was important to her. So, my suggestion 
was that she note down the particularly striking phrases 
commonly used by her friends and try them out for size. 
I t wouldn't be difficult to jot them down in private when-
ever she heard them. 

The most popular Jacks and Jills in the crowd may 
have individual personalities, but there are several assets 



T H E M A G I C OF P O P U L A R I T Y 7 

which they share in common. You'll find in them a social 
awareness. They are not concerned solely with them-
selves and their personal problems. They are interested 
in helping others. They possess a basic honesty and 
a sense of fair play. I t was written, " T o thine own self 
be true, and it follows as the day the night that thou canst 
not be false to any other man." T h e truly popular teen 
lives by that code, remembering that being true to self 
is being true to the individual that God wants one to be. 

T h e popular teen also possesses a mental alertness. 
Keeping on his toes, he reads the daily newspapers, new 
books, Catholic literature, and articles of current interest. 
His conversation never runs dry, nor is he at a loss to know 
what to say. There simply isn't time to discuss all the 
topics which truly hold his interest. H e enjoys varied 
activities, especially hobbies. Maybe his hobby is tropical 
fish or stamp collecting or woodwork, but this added 
interest adds a new facet to his personality. A n d finally, 
the really popular guy or gal has a keen sense of humor. 
H e or she can laugh at the day's mishaps and look forward 
to tomorrow. 

That ' s the popular teen. But how did he get to be 
that way? Actually, it can be summarized by the hands 
on a clock. 



YOUR MILLION DOLLARS 

I f someone suddenly handed you a million dollars, what 
would you do with it? Well, actually, you own a treas-

ure whose value is far in excess of a million dollars-
I n fact, it would be almost impossible to estimate its true 
value. Depending upon your own evaluation, it could run 
into the millions . . . or it can be worthless! It is your 
T I M E . 

Longfellow devoted many beautiful passages in his 
writings to the topic of time. I like best his definition: 
"What is Time? T h e shadow on a dial, — the striking 
of the clock, — the running of the sand, — day and night, 
— summer and winter, — months, years, centuries; — 
these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure 
of time, not time itself. Time is the Life of the Soul." 

Emerson compared the days to a loom on which the 
warp and woof of past and future are recorded. Shakes-
peare devoted at least thirty-one passages to the subject 

— 8 — 



Y O U R M I L L I O N D O L L A R S 9 

of time. Sir Thomas Browne thought of time in this 
way: "Think not thy time short in this world, since the 
world itself is not long. The created world is but a small 
parenthesis in eternity. . . " Mother Frances Cabrini, 
whose evaluation of ume made her a saint, said on many 
occasions that there could never be enough time to do all 
the things that she wanted to do. 

O n e of the most frequent statements made to me is, 
"Oh , I 've always wanted to write, too! I t 's a shame that 
I just never have had the spare time!" A n d I find myself 
wondering what spare time is, for to my way of thinking 
there is no such thing as spare time. Unfortunately, each 
day is composed of no more than twenty-four hours — 
whether it is your day or mine or the next person's. 
Fairly enough, each of us is given the identical bank ac-
count of time each day. 

Recendy a foremost psychologist, in discussing teen 
delinquency, made the statement, " O n e of the greatest 
contributing factors to the national delinquency problem 
is the fact that our teens have too much leisure time 
on their hands." If this is true, teens, it indicates at least 
two important points. T h e first point is that the parents 
of our teens are not giving adequate guidance. You re-
member as a child how you would ask Mom, "What will 
I do? I don' t have anything to do!" T h e wise mother 
not only guides the time of her child, but she helps 
in planning the time of her teen as well. T h e second im-
portant indication f rom the psychologist's analysis is that 
our teens today are not placing a true evaluation on their 
time. 



10 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

Take a look at the teen who devotes hours poring 
over movie magazines, detective novels, comic books, or 
the one who spends each evening idly playing solitaire. 
What about the long hours spent on the telephone by 
many teens repeating unnecessarily the day's happenings 
to each and every friend? What about the too numerous 
coke sessions, the gossip get-togethers, the "dragging 
Main Street" excursions of aimlessly driving around town? 

How important are those time bank accounts? How 
high are the teens' evaluations of the one life which God 
gave them to spend? 

You and I have a fortune in our hands, teens, a very 
real fortune. As Jerrold once said, " T o the true teacher, 
time's hour glass should still run gold dust." How do we 
go about turning our time into gold dust? Well, actually 
we reiterate the very reason for our being on earth, the 
reason that God gave us a life to live: to know Him, 
to love Him, and to serve Him. 

T h e popular teen knows that in order to love God, 
we must be on speaking terms with Him. Time spent 
in prayer and meditation is true gold dust in our pockets. 
Not only are we counselling with Heaven, but we are re-
ceiving the fortifying Grace to live our daily lives to their 
fullest. When we are praying for others, we are helping 
them fight their battles. Whether it's a poor missionary 
in India or a sick neighbor down the street, we are actively 
giving them our help. 

The popular teen knows that, in order to know and 
love God, we educate ourselves to the best of our ability. 



Y O U R M I L L I O N D O L L A R S 11 

This educational process doesn't end with the last peal of 
the school bell. I t means doing plenty of work on our 
own too. I t means approaching the world in which we 
live with an inquisitive mind. The more that we ourselves 
can learn, the more we will be able to impart to others. 
That 's especially true of our spiritual education. Time 
spent in spiritual reading adds greatly to your bank ac-
count. 

T o serve H i m . . . Wha t an unlimited opportunity! 
There are countless ways in which we can serve our fam-
ily and friends. Giving Mom a helping hand, relieving 
Dad of unnecessary responsibility, writing cheerful letters 
to the older folks in the family, tending the young ones 
with a willing hand, encouraging others in the family to the 
regular practice of the True Faith. W e can add to our 
bank account without so much as ever leaving our home! 

But serving God is not, as we know, confined to the 
family circle. O u r church and parish offer splendid op-
portunities: helping Father and the Sisters, cleaning the 
church, organizing and stimulating active youth groups. 
Beyond the parish is the city, and beyond the city is the 
nation and the world. 

" I ' d like to increase my popularity by doing some-
thing really worthwhile," a Chicago teen recently wrote 
me. "But there's just not much I can do . . ." I n the 
same mail were four heartbreaking requests f rom our mis-
sionaries overseas for any form of assistance. Old rosa-
ries, prayer cards, discarded clothing, used Catholic litera-
ture . . . and, most urgently, prayers. Not much that he 



12 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

could do? Why, he could turn every moment of his day 
into a priceless jewel! 

Time is our greatest treasure, our life's bank ac-
count. If you doubt its tremendous value, try estimating 
in dollars and cents the time that our scientists spent dis-
covering the polio vaccine. Estimate the worth of the 
time that St. Francis de Sales devoted to writing his 
Introduction T o A Devout Life. Put down in dollars and 
cents the time that was used in preparing and passing 
the Bill of Rights. 

I t ' s true, teens, our bank account of time is worth 
only as much as we evaluate it. Each moment, each hour, 
each d a y . . . you are spending this fortune that God gave 
you. The popular teen knows this. I t 's worth a thought, 
isn't it? 



BUT I'M CATHOLIC 

Dear Lynn, 

I guess you would say that my problem is that 
I am Catholic. That seems a strange thing to say, 
maybe; but it's true. While I am proud to be of the 
Catholic Faith, I find that it keeps me from being as 
popular as I would like to be. I have no intention 
of ever being anything other than Catholic, but I 
would like to be popular too. 

I am a girl of eighteen and will graduate from 
high shool this year. Our crowd is an average crowd 
of teen boys and girls. Some of them are Catholic 

— 13 — 



14 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

like myself, but most of them are not. They do not 
understand why I have to fast after midnight on 
Saturdays, why I must come in earlier than the other 
girls, why I won't kiss on first date, or neck at all. 
Some of the kids think it is perfectly all right to tell 
off-color stories, and they think that I am a prude 
when I will not listen. 

That's just about the whole story, Lynn. They 
tease me about being a religious without a habit and 
kid me about going to Church all the time. Some-
times this is hard to take. Maybe I just don't have 
a sense of humor? 

Any suggestions that you have will be appreciated. 

Many thanks for your help, 

Cardie 

Carole , I think you have the situation figured all wrong 
from the very beginning. Being Catholic isn't keep-

ing you f rom being popular. Look around you. There 
are plenty of popular Catholic boys and girls! People 
respect them because they faithfully practice what they 
believe. They have high ideals, and they don' t mind say-
ing so. They maintain moral standards f rom which they 
do not deviate. There is n o compromising with them. 
They love Holy Mother Church, and they want the whole 
world to know it! 

What ' s bothering you, Carole, is that you are differ-
ent f rom the others in your crowd. You say that the 
majority of them are not Catholic. Therefore, it is obvi-
ous that they do not practice or understand many of our 
beliefs. This makes you feel that you are singular and 
perhaps a bit conspicuous. Well, truthfully, Carole, you 



B U T I ' M C A T H O L I C 15 

are! You're different — and it is a difference of which 
you can be proud! 

Have you ever taken the trouble to explain to these 
other teens why you must fast after midnight on Satur-
days? Have you ever explained the medals you wear 
around your neck? O r your rosary? W h y you don ' t kiss 
on first date? Why you do not care to listen to off-color 
stories? 

O r have you just left these other teens in the dark, 
thinking perhaps that you were trying to show that you 
were better than they are? 

That 's an important point, Carole. N o one is at-
tracted to a person who wields his religion like a club. 
None of us likes the person who "shows o f f " a religion, 
whether it is Catholic or Baptist or Mormon. In a situation 
like this, it appears that the person is trying to belittle us, 
and to make us think that he is a saint. You've seen the 
Catholic teen who makes a great to-do at a Friday picnic 
when meat is served. "Oh , my heavens!" he vociferous-
ly objects. " I couldn't touch that stuff! I ' m Catholic, 
you know!" That sort of thing doesn't set well with any-
one. 

The same is true of the Catholic teen who throws up 
his hands in horror when someone starts to tell an off-color 
joke. "Oh , I can't listen to that sort of thing," he fairly 
screams. " I ' d have to go to confession. I 'm Catholic, 
you know!" 

I think that in such instances the teen has missed the 
point entirely. H e is not eating meat because he does not 
want to. H e is not listening to the off-color story because 



16 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

it is against his principles! The fact that he is Catholic 
contributes to his desire in each case, but it is not the ex-
planation for his refusals. At least, it certainly shouldn't 
be! 

Perhaps you have been using the " I ' m Catholic, you 
know!" explanation, too, Carole? If so, it would account 
for your lack of popularity. A n d it is a wonder that some 
teen has not sharply returned with, "Well, so what? I 'm 
Methodist!" 

Because you are different f rom the rest of the crowd 
in your beliefs does not mean that you can't be just as 
popular. I n fact, it can increase your popularity, because 
through the Faith you can gain a great deal of respect and 
admiration. 

The first thing to do is to explain these differences 
when they arise. If it is a fast day, and the crowd stops 
for a hamburger after the movie, simply say: "This is 
a fast day in our Church; on such days we don ' t eat 
between meals. I hope you'll give me a raincheck for 
my hamburger this time." If you go with the same crowd 
continually, you'll find that fewer and fewer explanations 
are needed, for your friends will begin to understand 
the practices of your religion. 

The second thing to do, Carole, is to rid yourself 
of any self-consciousness about your differences. All of us 
are different in some way. The other teens with whom 
you associate also have differences. If they are smart, 
they capitalize on them to make themselves more popular. 
Accept in your own mind that the practice of your Faith 
occasionally will call for an explanation. Af te r all, is that 



B U T I ' M C A T H O L I C 17 

so bad? Other teens are interested in the tenets of Holy 
Mother Church. Why be selfish in not stating them? 
Why not make them so attractive in the eyes of your teen 
friends that they might even wish to attend Mass with you 
some time? 

If you assume the attitude of a modern day martyr 
whenever you have to come in early f rom a dance in order 
to get to Communion in the morning, other teens will 
be prone to regard Holy Mother Church as a sadistic 
organization. I f , however, you accept this small sacrifice 
and make your friends realize the importance of Com-
munion, they will begin to wonder at the strength and 
beauty of our Faith. See what I mean, Carole? Let 
them know that whatever you are doing you d o willingly, 
happily, and because you want to do it! Don ' t make 
them feel that a sad sense of duty plagues you. It 's not 
— o r at least, it shouldn't be! 

By sharing your relig ion with your teen friends, by 
never using your religion to make you appear superior, 
and by accepting the practices of the Faith with a willing 
heart, you can increase your popularity, Carole. Folks 
respect those who live by what they believe. They will 
respect you and like you all the more for it! 



IN MY OWN BACKYARD 

Dear Lynn, 
I'm not sure that anyone can help me with my 

problem, but I hope that you can. I am a boy of fif-
teen and am average in just about every way. In 
school I have lots of friends, both boys and girls. 
The other teens seem to like me pretty well. 

My problem is my mother. She will never let me 
invite any of my friends to my home for a party. 
I have asked her many times, and she always tells 
me the same thing. She says she is afraid they will 
break up everything in the house. Lynn, this isn't 
so. The other fellows and girls are allowed to have 
Platter parties and television parties in their homes. 
And, while we may be noisy sometimes, the teens are 
really considerate of the furniture. I have told my 
mother this, but she does not believe me. 

I'd like to stay popular, Lynn. But I hate to go 
on accepting invitations to other people's homes when 
I cannot have my friends in my home. Is there any-
thing that I can do to convince my mother? 

Many thanks for your help, 

Leonard 
— 18 — 



I N MY O W N B A C K Y A R D 19 

Y o u a f e so right, Leonard, about wanting to reciprocate 
the hospitality which the other teens have shown you. 

Personally, I think every teen — boy or girl — should 
be permitted to have an occasional social gathering in his 
home. If the teens behave and are considerate of the 
parents and furnishings, this privilege should be granted 
freely. 

But Mom doesn't see it that way, does she? What 
are we going to do to convince her that you have social 
obligations just the same as she does? 

T h e first thing to do is to get your mother better ac-
quainted with your friends. Introduce her to these teens; 
make her feel that they are also her friends. 

Whenever there is a party given by another teen, 
be sure to bring home all the details. Tell your mother 
what games were played, what refreshments were served, 
and any other highlights of the get-together. If it is at all 
possible, try to arrange for your mother to visit one 
of these parties in the home of your friend. Many mothers 
are suspicious of teen parties because they fear that they 
will get out of hand or turn into necking parties. Let your 
mother know that your group of teens likes to get together 
for good, clean, wholesome fun . 

I n order to get Mom better acquainted with your 
group, encourage her to participate in teen activities. 
When she is a sponsor for a teen group, she will have 
a better opportunity to see the kids first-hand, and to know 
that they are of good moral character. Serving as sponsor 
or chaperone, she will become more interested in taking 
part in teen activities. The next time your group has an 



20 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

outing or party, ask your mother to help chaperone. 
If you know any of the other mothers, you might suggest 
to them that they request your mother's help with the 
teens. 

Once the privilege is granted, Leonard, be sure that 
your friends comply with the house rules. (You might 
even suggest to M o m that she permit one party on a test 
basis. Especially if you have a basement or garage that 
could be converted to party use!) If there are prepara-
tions to be made in the way of refreshments, you should 
feel that this is your job. Nothing elaborate needs to be 
served. Popping popcorn during the evening suffices. 
But whatever you plan for the party, make sure that you 
do not push the work on Mom. 

As your friends arrive, introduce them to your par-
ents. While M o m and Dad do not especially want to be 
a part of your group, they don' t like to be ignored either. 
I t is courtesy on your part to make sure that they feel they 
would be welcome. 

Af ter the party, it is your responsibility to clean up 
the clutter. If Mom wakes up to a messy house the next 
morning, she isn't going to take well to your teen parties. 
So, be sure that you set the house back in order before you 
retire. 

If you abide by your parents' wishes whenever you 
have a party in the home, you'll find Mom and Dad more 
responsive the next time you're in a party mood! 



WHAT ABOUT SORORITIES? 
[ was reading a pamphlet the other night, written by 

Father Lawrence Mossing, that should be of interest 
to all teens who would like to be more popular. Its title 
is "High School Fraternities and Sororities." Sometimes 
such pamphlets can be pretty didactic in their approach 
to a subject. But, believe me, Father Mossing really 
makes sense! 

— 21 — 



22 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

W e didn't have social fraternities and sororities in 
either of the two high schools I attended. W e saw so many 
specialized groups of activities that none of us ever cared 
for the fuss and bother of private societies. W e had our 
debate group, one-act play group, extemporaneous group, 
hobby clubs, sports groups, etc., that there actually wasn't 
time left over for secret social societies. W e felt that we 
were too grown up for such "kid s tuff ." T h e secret 
societies were for pre-school children who had nothing 
better to do with their time. 

I n college, it was different. A n d I do wish Father 
Mossing had included all school social fraternities and 
sororities, for I can distinguish little difference in their 
effects on a high school senior or a college freshman. 

When I enrolled in the University of Pittsburgh as 
a freshman, I bumped noses with sororities for the first 
time. From the minute we enrolled, we freshman girls 
were "sorority conscious." Some, f rom financially poor 
families, lived in dread for fear that they would be over-
looked. As most of you know, not all boys and girls are 
"rushed." Generally, the basis used by most sororities 
and fraternities for rushing a person is social position, the 
influence of the family, or financial standing. Few rushees 
are chosen on the basis of scholastic attainment, personal-
ity, or character. True, these things are given a light in-
vestigation by some societies, but they are considered 
merely worthwhile appendages. 

"Rushing" consists of pre-arranged engagements in 
which the sorority or fraternity members become acquaint-



W H A T A B O U T S O R O R I T I E S ? 23 

ed with their prospective newcomers. Those who are 
to be rushed are nominated by present or alumni members. 
From this list of names, invitations are sent out for cof-
fees, teas, and sometimes cocktail parties. 

T h e freshman coming into high school or college is 
faced with a grave new fear. Everyone says that to be 
really influential and popular, you must belong to one of 
the larger sororities or fraternities. Wha t if n o one chooses 
to rush me? I'll be left out in the cold without a chance! 

This is not true. Independents, as non-fraternity 
students are called, can be as popular as any fraternity 
member. I n the first place, they have the immediate 
backing and friendship of other independents. The one 
very real disadvantage is in elections to office or honors. 
I n this instance the fraternities join hands, choose one 
candidate, and back that candidate. T h e independent 
vote is not as easily concentrated. Wha t difference can 
a mere vote make? I t can make a whale of a lot of differ-
ence to the journalism student who would like to be elected 
editor of the school paper. I t makes a difference to the 
elected football queen. T h e school student president and 
student council are selected by "popular votes." 

T h e independent in high school and college is on his 
own. H e does not have the automatic backing of a large 
group who have gathered together in the wee hours and 
figuratively elected their own candidate. 

T h e majority of freshmen in high school and college 
are never rushed. These are the broken-hearted ones who 
start their school career with the fear that they are not 
wanted. This is pretty hard to take, when your friends 



24 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

and former classmates are rushed and you are not. You 
feel the loss of these friends, and you feel that you're not 
quite in their class. For consolation, you have only the 
other "untouchables." 

I n addition to this large group, there is a group of 
freshmen who know instantly that no matter how much 
they desire to be a sorority or fraternity member, it is 
financially impossible for them to become members. Mere-
ly to pledge such a society in college costs close to $100, 
or, in some instances, more. I n high school the pledge 
fees generally are also maintained at an expensive level 
in order to keep out any possible poor members. I n addi-
tion to the pledge fees, there is another large fee at the 
time you are accepted as a regular member. Then you 
have pins and scarfs, fees to maintain a club room or the 
fraternity house, an insignia ring, and quite a number of 
assorted fees that go for first one cause and then another. 

I t 's evident that few high school and college students 
can afford to belong to fraternities and sororities. Among 
these who cannot afford such a luxury are worthwhile 
students who should have their place in the leadership 
of the school! 

Is this the democratic way of life in our schools? 
If we do not uphold democracy in our public and private 
schools, where then is it to be taught and lived? Democracy 
is not something that is automatically absorbed like oxygen 
f rom the air. I t is not something that is granted to the 
graduate like a diploma. Democracy must be lived — 
and this is no less true in our educational institutions than 
it is any place else on earth! 



W H A T A B O U T S O R O R I T I E S ? 25 

Father Mossing, in his excellent article, cites one of 
our nation's newspapers concerning fraternities and soror-
ities, "They do foster undemocratic distinctions based on 
considerations unrelated to individual worth. They set 
small groups apart f rom the student body, and those ex-
cluded band together to form yet other cliques. Tha t 
they should promote indifference to authority is inevitable 
since they have established a society in conflict with that 
of the school; moreover, in some states their existence is 
in defiance of state law." Father Mossing adds that the 
only clubs and societies which should operate in any school 
are those which are open to all who can qualify. Member-
ship should be a matter of merit and achievement. 

Initiations into both high school and college social 
fraternities have made a wild red splash across the front 
pages of our nation's newspapers. In most instances they 
are remarkable evidence of man's inhumanity to man. 
A favorite in the South for many years was to pour molas-
ses and feathers over the candidate. A group of girls in 
one city, picked up by police for wearing scanty hula 
costumes on the main street, explained that they were 
merely part of an initiation. A group of fraternity boys 
in another city was arrested on charges of assault when 
their pledges were treated to powerful doses of castor oil 
and beaten with clubs. In some cases, as you must have 
read, pledges have been permanently injured and died 
f rom such barbaric treatment. 

If this is the type of loyalty test that fraternities 
sponsor, what sort of ideals can these groups possibly 
have? 



26 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

T h e teen who wishes to be popular, instead of blindly 
joining such groups, will take a firm stand against them. 
The abolition of secret societies, especially in our high 
schools, is the responsibility of each of us. W e can en-
courage our schools to oppose such narrow societies by re-
quiring that each student and his parents sign a pledge 
that he will not engage in such activities. Parents of teens 
can strongly object to membership in such clubs. But I 
think most important of all, we — both teens and adults 
working together — can find a finer substitute for frater-
nities and sororities. Groups based upon common interest 
and common goals are far more attractive than an assorted 
gathering whose only bases in common are rings, pins, and 
a secret code. There is n o honor or achievement gained 
f rom wearing such insignia. I t means only that some 
friend opened the door of membership for admittance. 
Or , in the cases of some fraternities, it means that one 
weathered a beating with a minimum howl. 

Wha t has such a fraternity member or sorority mem-
ber gained? Prestige? Actually, the prestige is largely 
self-imagined by the group involved. Those outside of 
the group are now firmly across the barrier. Knowledge? 
Few such societies foster any attempt at intellectual growth. 
Companionship and added friends? Just the opposite. 
You have now deliberately limited your number of friends. 
A n d the ones you have were not chosen because you 
really liked them. 

The truly popular teen never makes the mistake of 
limiting friends by joining fraternities or sororities. 



BLIND DATES 

Dear Lynn, 
1 am a girl of seventeen, and I would tike your 

advice. My problem is that I am not very popular. 
Because of this, I can't seem to get a date for myself. 
When I am around boys, I do not feel at ease. After 
the fellows get to know me better, they seem to like 
me fine. But the main thing is getting the boys 
to date me in the first place. 

Several of my girl friends recently have offered 
to get me a blind date. The boys whom they date 
know other fellows who have the same trouble that 
I have in getting acquainted. Would this be all right, 
do you think? I have heard that it is dangerous and 
not in good taste. On the other hand, it does not 
appear to be morally wrong, to my way of thinking. 
What is your opinion? 

Hoping that you will be able to help, 
And many thanks, 

Anne 
— 27 — 



28 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

J guess all of us know, teens, just what a blind date is. 
But in case some of the younger teens might be wonder-

ing: a blind date is a date with a boy whom you have not 
met. I t is generally arranged through friends or relatives. 

What about these blind dates? Are they right or 
are they wrong? 

There is nothing morally wrong with blind dates 
per se, Anne. However, they can be dangerous business 
if caution is not used. But if you take advantage of the 
good sense that God gave you, they can be a lot of fun and 
widen your circle of friends. 

Wherein is the difference between the foolish blind 
date and the wise one? T o begin with, never allow some-
one whom you do not know well to make a date for you. 
T h e person who is arranging your date should be trust-
worthy and should have the same high ideals that you 
have. H e or she should be a friend, not merely an ac-
quaintance. If you accept a blind date that was arranged 
by someone you scarcely know, you cannot be sure that 
this person was thinking of your best interests. I t is entire-
ly possible that he is making a desperate last minute 
"pi tch" to even out a crowd. 

Secondly, Anne, never accept a solo blind date. 
If you are going to share an evening with a person you 
have not met, you want to be sure that you are in the 
company of friends. I n case any emergency should arise 
(and it could happen on any date, not just a blind date!) , 
you will have friends to whom you can turn. If you 
accept a blind date, be sure you are with at least one other 
couple, both of whom are well known to you. 



B L I N D D A T E S 29 

A third restriction, Anne, is that in accepting a blind 
date be sure that the other girl (or girls) knows her date. 
I t is very unwise for two girls to go out with two boys 
whom they do not know. I n other words, n o double 
blind dates! It 's best that both you and the other girl 
be well acquainted with her companion. 

Before you ever accept the date, know precisely where 
you are going and what you will be doing. This is, after 
all, information which will help you decide whether you 
want to accept the date. If the evening is indefinite, and 
the others just want to "bum around," do not consider 
acceptance. I f , however, it is for a dance or basketball 
game, and you will be in familiar territory, you're safe in 
assuming that this will be a pleasant evening. 

For years, blind dates were considered not in good 
taste. However, these days all of us know that it is impos-
sible to get to know all of the nice folks we'd like to know. 
Formal introductions aren't necessary. If we have good 
friends who know of someone they think we might enjoy 
meeting, there is nothing morally wrong in accepting that 
extended friendship. But, in your own interests, it is im-
portant to follow the restrictions. Mis-handled, a blind 
date can be catastrophic. If you allow a stranger or casual 
acquaintance to make a date for you and the boy alone, 
then you are asking for trouble. Girls with good morals 
do not date so easily. Therefore, there arises in the boy's 
mind the assumption that your morals are not of the 
highest. From that assumption comes trouble! 

I t 's best, for obvious reasons, never to make a blind 
date for that "extra special" occasion. If you and the boy 



30 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

do not get along or do not take well to each other, then 
the occasion is ruined for you both. 

Where it is at all possible, it's a good idea for the 
mutual friend to arrange an introduction ahead of time. 
Perhaps they might stop by the house for a minute. O r 
you might meet for a moment after Sunday Mass. Even 
though the meeting is brief, it helps break the ice, and 
you do not feel completely strange when the boy calls 
for you. 

How should you act on a blind date? Well, actually, 
just as you would act on any other date! However, there 
is the added fun of getting acquainted. Once the intro-
ductions are over, there are the innumerable questions 
about each other to be asked. If you are the shy type and 
hesitant, encourage the other person to talk about himself. 
Wha t does he like? Where has he lived before? Does 
he work? How about his family? Does he participate 
in any sports? You can go on and on with the most in-
teresting topic the other fellow knows: himself. W e all 
like to talk about ourselves and appreciate the fact that 
someone is interested enough to ask us questions about 
our lives and interests. 

Should any trouble be encountered on a blind date, 
it is simple enough when you are with a crowd or with an-
other couple to ask them to take you home. It 's not 
necessary to make a big scene. Just say simply, as you 
would on any other unpleasant date, " I ' d like to go home. 
Would you take me now?" If further explanation is 
needed, you can state firmly, "Fred had the wrong idea 
about me. I 'm very sorry to upset the evening." 



B L I N D D A T E S 31 

Such incidents do happen, Anne, even when you 
are well acquainted with your date. Be prepared ahead 
of time to handle the situation with dignity. 

Blind dates can be a lot of fun , teens, if — as I 
mentioned — you use the good sense that God gave you. 
But never accept a blind date just because you don ' t have 
anything better to do. Rather, accept it as an invitation 
to a new friend that is offered you by an old friend whom 
you esteem. 



GOING STEADY 

Dear Lynn, 

In your pamphlet "LETTERS TO LYNN: About 
Dating," yon talked about going steady. You forgot 
to mention the many girls who get married at 16 or 
17 and have a wonderful marriage and how young 
our grandparents got married. Personally, I think 
my grandparents have an almost perfect marriage. 
Of course, everything has its ups and downs, but it 
works for the best. 

And then this talk against marrying a non-Cath-

— 32 — 



G O I N G S T E A D Y 33 

olic. The only thing wrong is the lack of understand-
ing of the other person's religion. 

I definitely approve of steady dating, if it means 
marriage; because it is easier to break off if yon 
have made a mistake in choice than an engagement. 
And a marriage is impossible to break. If more per-
sons went steady before they were engaged, instead 
of rushing headlong into the wedding, there would be 
less divorce cases. If the persons involved had high 
moral standards, they would not break the Sixth Com-
mandment. If not, then it's the parents' fault. What 
the parents don't realize is that the children mimick 
them from the time they are infants. 

I am not going steady because I want to get more 
schooling. I have not met the one whom I think is 
right. But if I do and if we share the same interests 
and are able to get along, then I'll go steady before 
I get engaged because I don't want to make a mis-
take. After all, this Hollywood romance stuff is a lot 
of bunk! You have to be able to get along with 
a person if you are going to live with him for the rest 
of your life. 

How did yon tell that your husband was the right 
one? You certainly didn't flip when yon met him. 
I also don't believe in love at first sight. If anything 
is going to last, it takes time. 

Yours truly, 
Dolores 

PS. I am IS and a junior in a Catholic all girls 
high school. 

Dear Dolores, 

M a n y thanks for your fine letter. I t was grand hearing 
f rom you. 



34 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

O n the topic of going steady, I can see that you have 
given the subject a great deal of thought. However, 
Dolores, have you ever actually gone steady? O n the 
surface, going steady looks like such a convenient arrange-
ment, an ideal situation. Unfortunately, those who have 
devoted their time and dates solely to one person — only 
to discover that he or she is the wrong person — will tell 
you differently. 

Going steady as you described in your letter, a prelude 
to an engagement, certainly can do no harm. But to most 
teens, going steady is not regarded in that light. Rather, 
it is a pact that is made any time f rom thirteen on. I t is 
an agreement to date only the one person to the exclusion 
of all others. I t is a promise to show no affection to any 
other boy or girl. Generally, this includes attention too. 

In short, going steady, whether it is in the early teen 
years or the later ones, involves a lot of possessiveness. 
D o you agree up to this point? 

Where the teens actually have marriage in mind — 
and that marriage is possible within a reasonable time — 
such possessiveness is part of the long range plan. It 's 
a trial period in which the two teens are seeking to discover 
whether they want to make the promise more binding 
by a formal engagement. T h e contract of going steady in 
this case, so long as it is not a prolonged period, is sensible. 

But consider most of the teens who are presently 
going steady, Dolores. They are not older teens with 
marriage in mind. They are in their mid-teens with only 
a year or two of dating experience behind them at most. 
A n d those years of dating were during their most imma-



G O I N G S T E A D Y 35 

ture teen years! (Remember your first dates?) Is it 
right for these teens to tie themselves down to one boy 
or girl? Is it sensible to say, without having given your-
self the opportunity to evaluate, that this is the one boy 
or girl in the world for you? I don' t think so. No t only 
do you lack the experience and judgment (after all, we 
D O learn a great deal as each year goes by) , but you are 
seriously restricting your chance to gain this knowledge 
during years when a mistake can be rectified. I t is a far 
more serious blow to misjudge the person of your choice 
in your twenties than it is during mid-teens. 

I t ' s t rue that there are many who married early who 
have had a successful and happy marriage. For each such 
case, there are probably nine others in the divorce court. 
The individuals involved are the criterion. But consider 
the teens you know personally . . . How many of them 
would happily resign themselves to the responsibilities of 
a home and family, the likely struggle against poverty, and 
giving up the fun of parties and dances and school sports? 
Boys in mid-teens can scarcely earn enough to provide 
even the small luxuries to which both have become ac-
customed in their family homes. 

The chance for happiness when a teen marries a non-
Catholic is equally diminished. Even where understand-
ing exists between the two parties, there is a complete 
isolation in the spiritual life. In the phase of marriage 
where the couple should be the closest, they are going their 
separate ways. In whose steps are the children to follow? 
I n a happy marriage, there is a "oneness." (Remember 
the part of the Nuptial Mass which speaks of "one flesh"?) 



36 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

There can be no complete oneness when the parties do not 
see eye to eye on their spiritual beliefs. True, the mar-
riage can be a happy one and even a successful one. But 
there is always that part of the individual which cannot be-
long to the other person. They are joined inseparably 
in other ways . . . but never in the most fundamental way 
that marriage was intended to join two people. Instead 
of waiting together outside of the Confessional, one person 
stands alone. Instead of walking together up the aisle 
toward Our Lord in Holy Communion, one person walks 
alone. Even in the most simple aspects, the Faith — 
meatless Fridays and Fast Days, Holy Days of Obligation, 
the sacramentals, saying the evening rosary — is never 
shared. I t may be tolerated, and it may be respected; 
but it is never shared! 

In the above, Dolores, we are taking for granted that 
there is a good understanding between the two people. 
Where that good understanding is lacking (as it is in many, 
many cases!), trouble is inevitable. The Catholic party 
either is forever defending the Faith upon some score or 
else is minimizing the Catholic way of life in order 
not to irritate the non-Catholic. 

That doesn't mean that non-Catholics aren't every 
bit as fine and lovable as Catholics. But it does mean that 
they have not been raised to the Catholic Faith and the 
Catholic way of life. They have not attended Catholic 
schools or been taught Catholic doctrines at home. Their 
religion has not been the same as that taught by Holy 
Mother Church. In many instances, the basic beliefs op-
pose our beliefs. In still more cases, they have grown up 



G O I N G S T E A D Y 37 

and matured with mistaken ideas of the Catholic Faith. 
With a background so completely non-Catholic, how then 
can we expect an understanding of our beliefs and our way 
of life? 

Y o u ask how I knew my husband was the right one? 
No , I didn ' t " f l i p " when I met him, and it wasn't love 

at first sight. Several months went by before I knew. 
Dur ing those months I became more and more aware of 
his kindness and his gentleness. By his actions, I knew 
that he placed my happiness above his own. T h e r e never 
was a doubt in my mind that he loved me more than any-
thing else in the world. W h e n I was with him, there was 
no need to go to dances or movies or parties. There was 
n o need to have other people around. I t was enough 
to sit and quietly discuss the events of the day, our hopes 
for the future , our mutual interests. 

I hope my suggestions have shed a little light on the 
topics, Dolores. 

I ' m glad to hear that you are not going steady. 
I hope you won't until you are ready fo r marriage. T h e 
teen who wants to be really popular does not tie herself 
down in this way. Instead, she seeks many, many friends 
— boys and girls. H e r circle of friendship among boys 
is never narrow and limited. I t is as important to make 
fr iends among the boys as it is among girls. 

With every best wish, 

Lynn 



HOBBIES 

Dear Lynn, 

What's the matter with me? Other teens always 
seem to have something bright and interesting to say. 
I never do. I'm just dull. 

I'd like so very much to be like other teen-agers 
who are the life of the party and who interest people. 
I'd like to be more popular with the boys and girls. 
What do I do? 

Respectfully, 

Bob 

H a v e you ever wondered, teens, why some folks are more 
interesting than others? Why do the minutes fairly fly 

when we are around one person and painfully drag when 
we are with another? Well, one of the surest indications 
of a popular personality is whether that individual has 
an interesting hobby. 

There are so many hobbies these days within the 

— 38 — 



H O B B I E S 39 

scope of our budget and interests that it's difficult to select 
any particular one. But whichever you choose, this added 
facet to your personality provides ample new topics for 
conversation. You're not forever finding yourself at a 
loss for words or limiting your talk to frothy bits of gossip. 

Developing a hobby in the teens (and even before!) 
is a good beginning. You've seen plenty of grown-ups 
who were so boring that you scarcely could stay in the 
same room with them: the father who is all "office talk" 
and nothing more; the mother whose sole topic of con-
versation is which one of the children has the sniffles to-
day; the teacher who thinks that Babe Ruth is a candy bar 
and a quarterback is something you get in change. " I ' d 
hate to be that s tuf fy!" you think. But it's not impossible 
that you could be, you know! If you follow in the pattern 
of their footsteps and channel all your enthusiasm and 
thinking on one topic, ignoring a whole world of oppor-
tunities, you are walking in their shadow! If you turn 
your thoughts inward, shutting your eyes to the marvelous 
possibilities provided us by the Mystical Body of Christ, 
then you too can bore the next fellow. 

"What sort of hobbies would you suggest?" a young 
teen asked recently. " I haven't much talent — even less 
money — and not much preference. Wha t are your 
hobbies? Are they the same that they were in your 
teens?" 

T h e nicest part about hobbies is that they are always 
exchangeable. When you explore one field and feel that 
you have made a good stab at mastering the art, then you 
are ready to explore another! During my teens, my big-



40 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

gest hobby was my typewriter. I t was an old rattletrap 
affair in good working condition. I t cost, I think, about 
$ 17.00 and was given to me for Christmas when I was ten. 
M o m had a book on how to type, so I sat down and tried 
to teach myself. I t might have worked had I not been too 
impatient. I t was far too slow a process to type with ten 
fingers. I decided that two were plenty! Besides, I told 
myself, there are more constructive things to be done than 
laboriously picking out typing exercises. There was a news-
paper for the neighborhood that I wanted to write, scads 
of homework that could be accomplished more neatly on 
the typewriter, and inevitably fiction stories that trickled 
through my imagination. 

Sports of all type were appealing. My favorites were 
tennis and swimming. Making jewelry was a hobby to which 
I was partial for many years. M o m would buy loose 
beads, and I would fashion bracelets and necklaces for all 
the feminine members of the family. Occasionally, some-
one even bought an exceptionally attractive brooch or 
bracelet. Sketching was another pastime which filled many 
happy hours. Years later, in the hospital recuperating 
f rom an appendectomy, I found that I had developed 
enough accuracy to sketch a reasonable facsimile of the 
nurses. 

The hobbies during the past ten years have been 
varied. First, it was gardening. During those years, I 
practically lived in a seed catalogue. There are so many 
interesting varieties of flowers and plants! 

Gardening was replaced with the less strenuous hobby 
of tropical fish. Sure, I had goldfish on the mantel years 



H O B B I E S 41 

before. But suddenly, a pair of guppies became the most 
absorbing topic in our house. Guppies reproduce them-
selves every twenty-eight days. They are varied in color 
and range f rom everyday guppies to the exquisite blue 
fantails. Tropical fish are probably the simplest hobby 
on earth, and especially recommended for shut-ins. The 
few precautions necessary for their care are readily learned. 
T h e water must be aged 48 hours, and it's helpful to add 
a conditioner that is sold commercially. The temperature 
of the water should range between 70-85 degrees. You 
do not change the water, as you do with goldfish. The 
tropicals should never be covered. They won't overeat, 
but the extra food fouls the water. In addition to guppies, 
as the aquarium or fish bowl grows, you discover an end-
less number of tropical fish varieties and, like myself, you 
may start your own nursery for those which reproduce. 

Here are a few of the other hobbies which I have 
found interesting: 

A R T C R A F T : This is fairly recent. T h e kit con-
tains a complete line of the supplies which you will need. 
T h e paints, brushes, and pictures are ready for use. The 
picture is already sketched, and each object is numbered 
to correspond with the color to be used. Especially for 
the amateur who is not yet ready to sketch or paint and 
who needs to work with form and colors, this hobby is ex-
ceptionally instructive. T h e pictures make nice decorations 
for the home and for gifts. 

R E C O R D C O L L E C T I N G : I n recent years, I 've 
been a Western fan. With the rest of the nation I grieved 



42 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

at H a n k Williams' untimely death. Homer and Je thro 
are two of my favorite autographs. So, on a quiet eve 
around our home, you're very likely to hear the Western 
records spinning on our phonograph. Not being in the 
upper income class bracket, our selection is limited. But 
with each new addition, there is far more thrill than if we 
could walk in a store and buy everything in sight! Our 
favorites? Bobby Williamson's "My Gal Comes From 
Heaven," Tennessee Ernie's "Sixteen Tons ," Tex Ritter's 
"High Noon , " and Red Foley's "Peace in the Valley." 

DOLL M A K I N G : I n my opinion this is one of the 
most worthwhile hobbies that any girl could have. With 
every stitch, you are bringing the kind of happiness that 
God meant us to create for each other. There are plenty 
of types of dolls to be made, and you can buy regular doll 
patterns in the pattern departments. (Also patterns for 
all kinds of doll clothes!) I n addition to the rag dolls, 
there is the lovely Southern belle with the enormous skirt. 
She is a Lingerie Lou doll whose costume is made of milk 
filters. (They are durable round cotton discs which can 
be bought at Sears or in a Hardware. I t ' s best to buy the 
better grade.) 

For Christmas giving, birthdays, special events, for 
orphanages, hospitals, for Church bazaars, for missions 
overseas . . . there is nothing more appropriate or beloved 
than a homemade doll! 

M I S S I O N P A C K A G E S : It 's a little strange that 
we would consider mission packages as a hobby — when 
Holy Mother Church holds her missions so dear to her 



H O B B I E S 43 

heart. But in addition to the special graces which accrue 
through our good works, the packages can call upon your 
imagination, initiative, and resourcefulness. All kinds of 
packages are appropriate. 

Our Benedictine nuns made a beautiful package last 
year of picture prayer cards which they had carefully cut 
and pasted and tied with a dainty ribbon. School children 
easily could assemble ABC books with pictures and maga-
zine illustrations. How these would help some child 
across Mary's blue ocean to learn the English language! 
Scrap books on favorite topics are fascinating to assemble. 
These too help both the mission teacher and student. 
Some examples might be: a scrapbook of pictures of trans-
portation (planes, trains, etc.), American sports, pets, the 
American home, American schools, recreation. The list 
is endless! 

I n addition to scrapbooks, my own packages general-
ly are composed of lightweight discarded clothing, used 
Catholic literature, lightweight toys, religious articles, and 
rosaries. For the mission priest? A package or two of 
chocolate pudding, cigarettes, a bar of soap, or a tin of 
popcorn would be welcome. So little to offer to those 
who give so much! 

Postage on package to the missions is very low, not 
much more than it costs to send a parcel here in the 
United States. Be sure to mark your package "Free U n -
solicited Gift — For the Missions — N o Value." If you 
place a value, make sure that it is very low to prevent high 
duties on the other side. 



44 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

Names of needy missionaries can always be obtained 
by writing your favorite Catholic magazine. 

There are so many absorbing hobbies that it is diffi-
cult to understand how anyone could be without an ex-
citing day. Stamp collecting opens new windows of inter-
est. Woodwork can be both profitable and worthwhile. 
A kindergarten for youngsters in the block or special tu-
toring services offer a service and a hobby at the same 
time. If your parents don ' t object, a pet school also is 
fun . Lots of folks would like to have their pets trained 
at a nominal fee, and if you have this aptitude, your hobby 
will be in demand! 

Well, that 's a start, teens! Any one of the hobbies 
mentioned is f u n and profitable. Hobbies you know, 
Bob, are a boomerang. They not only are interesting, 
but they make you more interesting too! 



LET'S HAVE A PARTY 

Dear Lynn, 

I need your help and need it badly. I have a 
problem that I jast can't seem to solve. It's this way: 
in oar town yon have to give kissing parties in order 
to be popular. I would love to give a party occasion-
ally; but, honestly, I just can't see smooching with 
a lot of fellows I don't care about. Too, I know the 
Church doesn't approve of such parties (I asked Fa-
ther in the Confessional), and I don't want to commit 
a sin. 

Still, I don't want to be left out in the cold either. 
That's no fun. I'd like to be just as popular as the 
next girl. Right now my popularity is at a stand-still 
because I won't attend such parties and definitely 
don't want to give one. What shall I do? I'm des-
perate. Please help me. 

Yours in Christ, 

Kathy 

— 45 — 



46 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

f a i t h f u l l y , Kathy, there is n o need to give such parties 
in order to be popular. As you and I know, popularity 

consists of a whole lot more than playing Wink or Post 
Office! 

But, on the other hand, you would like to entertain 
your friends with parties that are wholesome and fun . 
With just a little imagination you can plan parties that are 
lots more f u n than kissing games. (Your parties will make 
the kissing games look infantile, which they are!) Many 
of our teens have reported that kissing game parties have 
gone out of style since their crowd discovered what good, 
clean fun real parties can be! 

In addition to such regulars as platter parties, bike 
parties, weiner roasts, television parties, charades, and 
dances, here are some additional ideas, Kathy, which might 
be new to you. 

I . Breakfast — "Come As You A r e " 

Mainly for girls, though boys could give a party like 
it. Early in the morning, without warning, you call all 
of your friends whom you wish to invite for breakfast. 
However, you specify that they must come as they are 
dressed. Tha t includes curlers, bobby pins, and cleansing 
cream. 

Arrange ahead of time several games that can be 
played for small prizes. A n excellent game that is always 
a lot of fun is a game where each girl must name a song 
that contains the name of a food that can be eaten for 
breakfast e.g., "You ' re the Cream in my Coffee ," "Tea 
for Two," "Three Little Pigs," " I 'm in Love with You, 
Honey ," "Eggs-actly Like You." 



L E T ' S H A V E A P A R T Y 47 

I I . Story Telling 

The hostess starts a story and thereafter points to each 
member of the group, preferably out of turn. Each guest 
to whom she points must continue the story in one sentence 
using the name of your school. Thus "Once upon a time 
there was a fuzzy caterpillar who enrolled in St. Mary's ," 
says the hostess. T h e next person might say, " T h e fuzzy 
caterpillar went out for football at St. Mary 's ." T h e next 
adds, " T h e coach decided that the fuzzy caterpillar should 
play tackle at St. Mary's ." And the next person might con-
tinue, "Every time the fuzzy caterpillar f rom St. Mary's 
tackled an opponent, the opponent nearly died laughing!" 
Anyone who hesitates with his sentence or who forgets 
to include the name of the school is eliminated. The 
winner at the end of the story is judged by applause. 

I I I . Postmark Contest 

Have all invited members to your party bring a post-
mark. (Or the hostess can supply them all, if desired.) 
T h e hostess also provides one postmark. They are turned 
face down on the table. O n e postmark is drawn, and it is 
the key city. Each person then draws to discover which 
can come closest in miles to the key city. I n the event 
that two cities (or more) are tied, being equally distant 
f rom the key city, the postmarks previously drawn are re-
turned to the table, and the remaining contestants draw 
again. 

IV . Photo Party 

Each person brings a baby picture of himself. A t the 
height of the party, the pictures are displayed one by one, 



48 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

and each member of the party must guess (on a slip 
of paper) the identities. T h e one with the most correct 
answers wins. 

A good warm-up for the climax of the party is a game 
in which the hostess shows baby pictures of famous per-
sonalities. (These can be gathered ahead of time f rom 
magazines.) T h e group, divided into teams, guesses at each 
picture. T h e winning team receives a small prize. (Prefer-
ably something edible so that it can be divided.) 

V. Postcard Party 

Each invited guest brings a picture postcard. Either 
in teams or separately, the guests must guess the location 
of the picture on the postcards. 

VI . "Come Travel With M e " 

Guests are divided into two teams. T h e first team 
starts "Come travel with me. I am going t o . . ." and 
names a city. T h e second team must take the last letter 
of that city and name a city starting with that letter. So, 
if the first team says "Come travel with me. I am going 
to Sacramento," the next team must take " O " as the 
starting letter for the city of their destination. They might 
continue "Come travel with me. I am going to Ontario." 
This particular choice has left the first team with the 
problem of an " O " also. They might use "Come travel 
with me. I am going to Oklahoma City." Now the second 
team has " Y " which could be used for "Youngstown." Any 
time a team is stumped and cannot name a city within the 
count of ten, they lose 10 of their 100 points. At the end 
of the game, the team still having the most number 



L E T ' S H A V E A P A R T Y 49 

of points wins. (If you're smart, you might throw in 
Phoenix against your opponents!) 

VI I . Stamps for the Seminaries 

All of the girls invited to the party, for both boys 
and girls, bring delicacies which they have made at home. 
Candies, cookies, cupcakes . . . anything which might ap-
peal to the other teens. These are priced, according to the 
number of stamps it requires to buy each delicacy. Foreign 
stamps, old stamps, commemorative stamps have the most 
value. Each person invited to the party brings as his wam-
pum all of the unusual stamps which he can collect for the 
seminaries. H e buys his refreshments with the stamps. 

A variation is to charge stamps for each dance. 

V I I I . "Where A m I Going?" 
Before the party, the host or hostess clips pictures 

f rom magazines that are intended to represent the name 
of a city. For instance, a picture of a dove could be used 
for "Dover ," St. Anthony for "San Antonio," St. Fran-
cis for "San Francisco," a traveler for "Rome," a den for 
"Denver ," an angel for "Los Angeles," etc. O n die back 
of each picture, she writes the name of the city the picture 
represents. At the party, the guests are divided into two 
teams. They draw (sight unseen) a picture f rom the box. 
T h e contest is won by the team which guesses the greatest 
number of cities held by the oposing team. 

A variation, especially fun for boys' (8-12) parties, 
is to gather pictures which indicate either baseball or foot-
ball teams. Thus, a cardinal for St. Louis, a pair of red 
socks for Boston, a pirate for Pittsburgh, etc. 



50 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

IX . For the Dance Party at H o m e 

Select an item to represent each girl attending the 
party. For instance, a wedding band for Mary, a minia-
ture devil for Helen, a remnant of polka dot material for 
Dorothy (Dot ) , a pocket for Lucy ("Lucy Locket lost her 
pocket") , sheet music for Carol, etc. W h e n all the guests 
have arrived, the boys draw or select one of the curiously 
assorted items and must find the girl it represents. If the 
girl's first name is difficult, or if there are two girls by the 
same name, a last name can be used. This is especially 
helpful where the guests are not well acquainted. I t 's 
a good ice-breaker and introduces the boys to the girls. 
The items can be used over and over again during the 
evening at a large party to encourage introductions and 
exchanging partners. 

A variation is for each girl to contribute something 
personal when she arrives at the party, and the boy must 
find the owner of the object. 

X. Personal Pronoun Game 

Art Linkletter uses this one on his hilarious House 
Party. T h e host or hostess asks a series of questions, all 
of which must be answered without the use of personal 
pronouns such as "I , my, me, mine." Any guest who 
uses a personal pronoun in answering the question is elim-
inated f rom the game. 

XI . " W h o A m I ? " 

This one is f u n if you have a set of encyclopedias, 
but can also be played with a book on the lives of the 
saints or by memory. During the evening each person 



L E T ' S H A V E A P A R T Y 51 

looks up five interesting facts about someone they might 
like to be. When each person has assembled his facts, 
the guests divide into two teams. Each guest then tells 
the facts, one by one, about the person he would like to be. 
T h e opposing team loses 20 points f rom the possible 100 
for each fact they fail to guess. T h e team with the win-
ning number of points receives the prize. 

XI I . Record Parties 

Each invited person brings a favorite record. T h e 
records are played, and each person marks down on his 
list whom he thinks brought the record. A t the end of 
the platter session, the guesses are checked; and the one 
having the most correct answers wins. 

Another record game is charades of records. T h e 
party divides into two teams. Each team acts out the title 
to a record. T h e opposite side is given three minutes 
in which to guess. If they cannot guess, they pay a pen-
alty. 

A popular platter game with younger teens is musical 
chairs. T h e chairs are placed in a circle. One less chair 
is used than the number of participants. As the music is 
played, the guests walk around the outside circle of chairs. 
When the music stops, each person dives for a chair. T h e 
object is not to be left without a chair. T h e chairless 
participant must drop out of the game, and one less chair 
is used each time. 

Prizes for a teen party should be simple and inex-
pensive. A new hit record, a photo album, a small box 
of candy, an autograph book, a box of no tepaper . . . 



52 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

There are any number of items that can be bought at the 

five and ten! 
Those are a few party ideas, Kathy, which might help 

you in party planning. There is, as you can see, no reason 
to believe that a party cannot be f u n unless kissing games 
are included. Tha t just isn't so! By using your imagina-
tion and a touch of originality, you can give the best 
parties found anywhere! 



SELF-CONFIDENCE 

Dear Mrs. Alexander, 

I am the youngest boy in oar family of six chil-
dren. I get along with my family fine, but at school 
I have trouble. I try so hard to make ttte other teens 
like me, but I am not very popular for some reason. 

My best friend tells me that I am too shy and un-
talkative. I think maybe I am, but I am always 
afraid that I will look silly to someone else. I am not 
very good looking, and I am a poor dancer. But are 
these things important? 

How can I be more popular? 
God bless you, 

Jimmy 
— 53 — 

Ik 



54 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

Frankly, Jimmy, looks and good dancing do Kelp toward 
popularity. But they do not constitute popularity. 

There 's a big difference! 

Good looks and apt dancing are like doors that open. 
They attract others to want to investigate you further. 
But once that door is open, it is up to the teen to carry 
the ball. There must be something worthwhile inside 
to hold that interest! 

There are plenty of other doors besides handsome-
ness and dancing. There are talent, friendliness, interests, 
and spirituality to namie but a few. If you do not possess 
one door, you can possess another. Some of these, such 
as looks, are God-given; others you can earn with the help 
of God. 

I think every teen, Jimmy, should have at least one 
talent. There should be one thing which you can do just 
a bit better than the next person. Maybe it's nothing 
more intellectual than collecting postcards. But if you do 
that one thing well, then you will have gained a great deal 
of self-confidence. As we saw f rom the section on hob-
bies, the opportunities are unlimited. O r perhaps you 
would prefer a sport or working on the school newspaper? 
I t doesn't really make a lot of difference what that talent 
is or in which field it lies — just so it is there! 

I n addition to developing a talent in some field, 
Jimmy, it's going to be necessary to rearrange your think-
ing. All of us feel the same way that you do. There is 
a natural shyness and timidity in each of us. Like you, 
we fear that we will commit some error and appear foolish 



S E L F - C O N F I D E N C E 55 

in the eyes of our friends. But unlike you, Jimmy, we are 
not afraid to take the chance. 

If you can make yourself realize that we all share this 
same feeling, this identical fear, then you have made 
great strides. 

When you are out in a crowd, do not try to confront 
the crowd. Rather, select one person at a time with whom 
you want to speak. Take the initiative. Say the first 
" H i ! " and show, by your conversation, that you would like 
to be friends. Perhaps this person is ill at ease or a stanger 
to the others. Then, make it your concern to put the per-
son at ease and to make the introductions. 

If you can concentrate on bringing happiness to some-
one else, then your battle has been won. Shyness and the 
lack of self-confidence is, after all, nothing more than 
allowing our thoughts to dwell too much on ourselves. 
If you will concentrate on others, this lack of self-confi-
dencei will evaporate. 

Another good idea, Jimmy, is to volunteer your 
services on committees whenever you can. Working with 
small groups toward a common goal will do you much 
good. You will find that your relationships with other 
teens will be easier and less strained. With your mind 
on the project, you will be less concerned with yourself. 

There is no magic formula for popularity, Jimmy. 
Most of us have to work plenty hard for it. But it's worth 
the hard work, wouldn't you say? 

I N T H E K N O W 

T h e popular teen knows what to do and when to do it. 

This ability we call Know-How. Others call it poise. 



56 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

I t is a charm that can be cultivated, either through our own 
investigation or through experience. Without it, we're 
self-conscious and ill at ease. This insecurity is trans-
mitted to those around us. We ' re uncomfortable — and 
it's pretty doggoned obvious! 

While Know-How is no fire scholarship to the charm 
circle, it is like a comfortable chair in a crowded room. 
You know that you have something to fall back upon 
in moments of confusion. You' re fairly sure that you can 
meet other teens without committing those embarrassing 
"slips" that make you blush for hours after the incident. 
Of course, you can't take out insurance against those awk-
ward situations, but you can cultivate a greater self-assur-
ance. 

T h e best way I know to gain poise is to "bone u p " 
on likely situations that might be confusing. If you want 
to be popular, make sure that you can meet these situations: 

I . W h e n the one-and-only calls on the phone and 
wants nothing more than to chat, you should: 

(a) Limit your conversation to fifteen minutes. 
(b) Find a soft cushion and settle down for the 

evening. 
(c) Explain that your brothers and sisters are too 

noisy, and you can't hear. 

I I . If the new boy friend has shown a lot of interest 
but seldom phones, you should: 

(a) Call him on the phone and let him know you 
are thinking about him. 

(b) Write him a note each night and give it to him 
in the morning. 



S E L F - C O N F I D E N C E 57 

(c) Wait for him to call or drop by the house. 

I I I . If Johnny, your little brother, is hanging on 
the phone and you have an urgent call to make, you 
should: 

(a) Make so much noise he will lose his temper and 
get off the phone. 

(b) Explain that your call will take only a few 
minutes and then he can have the phone again. 

(c) Tell M o m to chase him away f rom the phone. 

IV. If you are watching your favorite television 
show and friends drop in, you should: 

(a) Ask them if they would like to see the pro-
gram; if they wouldn't, switch it off . 

(b) Politely ask them to come back later. 
(c) Carry on a conversation and watch the pro-

gram at the same time. 

V. If a school chum wants to borrow your clothes, 
the best thing to do is: 

(a) Tell your friend that you have lost the thing 
she wants to borrow. 

(b) Tactfully explain that your clothes would not 
be becoming to her. 

(c) Tactfully explain that you would rather she 
didn't borrow the clothes. 

VI . I n the family, it is all right to borrow such 
wearing apparel as: 

(a) Dressess, slacks, suits, blouses, etc. 
(b) Underwear. 
(c) Accessories. 



58 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

VII . For Mass, if you do not own an attractive hat, 

wear instead: 
(a) A gaily colored scarf. 
(b) A conservative solid color scarf. 
(c) A handkerchief. 
V I I I . If a friend asks you whether a new suit 

or dress is becoming and you think it is little short 
of a nightmare, you should: 

(a) Honestly explain that it is gruesome. 
(b) Tactfully evade the question. 
(c) Please your friend by the equivocal statement 

"I t ' s out of this world!" 

IX . If you are invited to dinner at the home of a 
friend and they make no gesture to say the blessing, 
it would be quite proper to: 

(a) Either say the blessing silently or ask if you 

may say it aloud. 
(b) Shame them with looks of admonition. 
(c) Just forget it this one time. 

X. If someone in your party makes an unkind 

comment about Holy Mother Church in your hearing, 

you should: 
(a) Consider the source. 
(b) Politely explain that only ignorant persons 

make such remarks. 

(c) Briefly and gently voice your views and change 

the subject. 

XI . If a Protestant friend is accompanying you 

to Mass, it might be wise to: 
(a) Admonish your friend about talking in church. 



S E L F - C O N F I D E N C E 59 

(b) Explain that she must expect something entire-
ly different f rom her Protestant services. 

(c) Briefly instruct her about standing and sitting; 
then provide her with a Missal. 

XI I . If someone asks a question about the Catholic 
religion that you cannot answer correctly: 

(a) Make up an answer so that their interest won't 
lag. 

(b) Advice them to consult the parish priest. 
(c) Frankly admit that you are not sure but tell 

them that you will look it up and report to them 
as soon as you are sure of the answer. 

XI I I . If one of your parents is Protestant and holds 
beliefs about the Church that are not true, the best proce-
dure would be: 

(a) Provide plenty of Catholic literature for your 
home. 

(b) Explain that they are wrong in their attitude. 
(c) Pick a favorite saint and pray like fury. 

X I V . If someone in your home is falling away 
f rom the Church, you should: 

(a) Immediately tell Father. 
(b) Encourage him to participate in Catholic activ-

ities and to attend more regularly the services 
of the Church. 

(c) Disown him; he's not worth the effort . 

XV. If you are in a crowd and some jokester 
begins telling off-color stories, the best thing to do would 
be to: 



6 0 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

(a) Tactfully say " I ' m sorry. I 'd rather not hear 

i t!" 

(b) Make the sign of the Cross and plug up your 

ears. 
(c) Be a good sport and listen. 

XVI . If your date starts heading for Parker's Par-

adise after the movie, you should: 
(a) Explain to him that kissing spreads germs and 

you are extremely susceptible to sore throats. 
(b) Explain that he has the wrong number; neck-

ing parties are not your specialty! 

(c) Warn him that it is a mortal sin to kiss before 

marriage. 

X V I I . If you are in a crowd and you discover 
too late the others plan to stay out far past your deadline, 
you should: 

(a) Emphatically demand that you be taken home. 
(b) Call a taxi. 
(c) Call Dad or big brother, explain the situation, 

asking them to come after you. 

X V I I I . If a very close friend asks you to do his 

Math, you should: 
(a) G o ahead; after all, it's for a friend. 
(b) Call him a cheat. 
(c) Of fe r to help him with his Math and teach 

him what you know about it. 

XIX . If your brothers and sisters are squabbling, 

the best procedure is to: 
(a) Try to get them in a good humor so that they 



S E L F - C O N F I D E N C E 61 

will laugh at their differences by saying some-
thing like, "Aw, come on, kiss and make u p ! " 

(b) Get at the root of the problem in order to de-
cide which is right. 

(c) Ignore it — after all, it's none of your busi-
ness. 

XX. If you find yourself alone with a strange teen 
and at a loss for words, it would be a safe bet to: 

(a) Discuss the weather. 
(b) Keep silent and focus on the floor. 
(c) Maneuver the conversation so that the teen will 

talk about himself. 

A N S W E R S 

I . (a) O n the family telephone, casual conversa-
tions should never last longer than fifteen minutes. I n 
order for any family to live happily under the same roof, 
it's necessary for each member to be considerate of the 
others. If you expect consideration, you must learn 
to give it. 

I I . (c) Unless there is an urgent matter to dis-
cuss, it is never proper for a girl to call a boy on the 
phone. Note writing is childish and gives the boy the im-
pression that you are chasing him. 

I I I . There 's that word "consideration" again. Af-
ter all, little brother's phone conversations are as impor-
tant to him as yours are to you. But if there is a house 
rule of fifteen minutes, you won't have this trouble! 



62 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

IV . (a) Emily Post agrees. 

V . (c) Borrowing clothes is a good way to lose 
a friend. The same applies to loaning them. N o matter 
how careful one may be, there are always accidents and 
of ten perspiration stains. N o matter how generous you 
are at heart, it's difficult not to resent losing a favorite pair 
of slacks or a blouse at the hands of a friend. I t 's better 
to make a rule not to borrow or loan clothes! 

VI . (c) Accessories are less easily damaged and 
more easily replaced. 

VI I . (b) Let's not overdo it with those scarfs we 
wear to Mass! T h e most incongruous sight of the past 
year was a girl who tip-toed into the pew with a devout 
expression and a scarf illustrating cocktail glasses and can-
can dancers! A handkerchief is plausible only if you 
have forgotten your hat or scarf. 

VI I I . (b) Nothing will be gained by blunt frank-
ness when your friend asks your opinion about wearing 
apparel. Af ter all, opinions differ. Your taste may be 
far different f rom that of the next person. Rather than 
hurt feelings or lie about it, evade the question with some-
thing like, "Blue is your color." O r "Plaids are always 
becoming to blondes." She's stuck with the outfit; don' t 
make her self-conscious every time she has to wear it. 

IX . (a) Neither condemn nor condone — do 
what you know is right! 

X. (c) There is no use arguing with someone 
who has a grudge against Holy Mother Church. You will 



S E L F - C O N F I D E N C E 63 

only increase the bitterness and cause a scene. However, 
when I encounter such a situation, I always briefly make 
known my own views. I want to be sure that the other 
listeners know that I don' t accept the criticism as truth. 

XI . (c) O n e reason more Protestants do not at-
tend our Masses is because they are self-conscious and un-
certain. Since most Protestants do not kneel in Church, 
it's wise to forewarn your friend. Without a Missal, the 
Protestant attending the Mass for the first time lacks 
proper appreciation and comprehension of its significance. 

XI I . (c) N o harm is done by admitting your un-
certainty about a matter of Faith. But there is plenty of 
harm done if you give out misinformation! 

XI I I . (a) Don ' t argue or cajole with a Protestant 
parent. You will only drive them further away from the 
Church. Praying is good, of course, but supplement it 
by concrete action on your part. Most people are in-
quisitive enough to peek into those Catholic magazines, 
pamphlets and books lying so casually around the house! 

XIV. (b) A person who is drifting away f rom 
the Faith is in constant turmoil with himself and God. 
Don ' t add to his unhappiness. Try to guide him back 
gently by interesting him in Catholic friends and Catholic 
activities. If these fail to provide the needed inspiration 
and encouragement, consult Father. 

XV. (a) You may be a good sport in the eyes 
of the jokester if you laugh at his off-color stories — but 



64 A B O U T P O P U L A R I T Y 

what are you in the eyes of God? A n d which is more 
important? 

XVI . (b) Any fellow that 's worth your time 
won't resent your tactful explanation that you don ' t en-
gage in necking parties. If he does resent it, then you 
can be sure that his primary interest in you was far less 
than worthy! 

X V I I . (c) N o use in making a scene — and 
don' t call a taxi! Even in these days, taxis late at night 
are a risky proposition. Call Dad or big brother. 

X V I I I . (c) Don ' t sacrifice principles for friend-
ship. 

XIX. (a) H u m o r is the best medicine in family 
squabbles. Setting yourself up as judge won't increase your 
popularity with your family. W h y alienate either one? 

XX. (c) Everyone loves to talk about himself. 
N o one can think you boring or dull if you are inquiring 
about him! T o do so would be to admit that he himself 
is dull! W e all love an audience. Being an interested 
audience is one of the prime assets of possessing a good 
personality! 

A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T 

Many thanks to T h e Crosier Missionary, T h e Catholic Lamp, and 
Catholic Home Messenger for allowing material to be selected f rom teen 
columns appearing in their magazines. 



faints Without Wrinkles 
b y 

F L O R E N C E W E D G E 

SAINTS W I T H O U T WRINKLES is primarily intended 
for those who have no wrinkles — teen-agers. It was 
written for them, dedicated to them, and. made possible 
only because a baker's dozen of them did not miss the 
opportunity to reach for a halo of holiness. 

Miss Wedge is blessed with the happy gift of making 
the heroes and heroines of her stories come alive. Her 
word sketches of such teen-agers as 

St. Mary Goretti — St. Stanislas Kostlea 
St. Therese of the Child Jesus 

St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows 
St. Dominic Savio — St. Joan of Arc — St. George 

St. Agnes — St. Casimir 
St. Elizabeth of Hungary — St. John Berchmans 

St. Aloysius Gonzaga — St. Germaine Cousins 
are fascinating true s t o r i e s of real teen heroes and 
heroines. 

These teens came from different backgrounds, lived 
in many ages, and experienced different things — but 
they all had one thing in common: they all did with all 
their might whatever they had to do. They all con-
quered selves and gained heaven. 

The thirteen teen saints in SAINTS W I T H O U T 
WRINKLES will make a lasting impression on you 
whether you are a teen-ager without wrinkles or a wrin-
kled adult with the spirit of a teen without wrinkles. 

Don't miss this book! — 173 pp., #2.00. 

Order from: FRANCISCAN PRINTERY, Pulaski, Wis. 



b y 

L Y N N A L E X A N D E R 

LETTERS TO LYNN: ABOUT DATING 

Lynn Alexander, popular Catholic columnist, discusses 
such teen-age problems as : the age a t which to s ta r t 
dating, how to convince parents about dating, shyness 
a t part ies and dances, meeting the r igh t boy or girl, 
dating non-Catholics, a f t e r the date, kissing, how to han-
dle the " f resh guys," the problem of "going steady," and 
other teen problems. —64 pp., 20^. 

LETTERS TO LYNN: MORE ABOUT DATING 

The author turns to such other problems connected 
with dating as : the value of a reputation, morals versus 
popularity, expensive and inexpensive dates, dressing for 
a date, dating on school nights, kissing parties, pick ups 
and let downs, why be self-conscious, who won't be asked 
a second time, and others. —64 pp., 20^. 

Order today these new, easy-on-your-eyes (and jus t 
as easy on your pocket), book-size pamphlets f r o m : 

FRANCISCAN PRINTERY, Pulaski, Wis.