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chaplain’s manual
Rev. Gerard P. Weber

published by

THE CHICAGO FEDERATION of the
CHRISTIAN FAMILY MOVEMENT

ROOM 1808 • 100 W. MONROE STREET
CHICAGO 3, ILLINOIS



imprimatur

J* Samuel Cardinal Stritch

Archbishop of Chicago

nihil ohstat

Rev. John
J.

Clifford, S.J.

Censor Librorum

march 1952

OMekSRscf



contents

foreword 1

the Christian family movement 3

how to start a section 11

the meeting and its preparation 21

spiritual direction 31

action groups 36

function of the leader 40

the wide view 31

glossary 56





Foreword

A priest working in a diocesan chancery office, coming in

contact as he does day after day with couples who are unhappily

married, sees a very dismal picture. Much of the work he has to

do is merely remedial, a matter of finding loop-holes for those

who have made mistakes in the past, in the hope that they will

thereby avail themselves of the sacraments and become practical

Catholics. But there are always doubts and misgivings. He

manages to validate a marriage, but wonders how ardently the

newly restored Catholics will re-embrace the Faith in view of

their past performances. He grants dispensations for mixed mar-

riages in order to prevent a worse evil, but even as he does so he

recalls the statistics and fears that in a high percentage of such

cases either the Catholic party or the children or both may be

lost to the Church. He wonders sometimes how all the patching

up will ever manage to keep pace with the breakdowns which

are occurring on all sides.

As chancellor of the Archdiocese of Chicago I have had this

experience. I know that it is shared by priests who work in

parishes everywhere. Much of the work of a parish priest, too,

is purely remedial. And even in his positive functions such as

preaching, teaching, administering the sacraments, and instruct-

ing converts the parish priest knows that the effect of his work

will often be lessened by circumstances over which he has no

control. Even while he preaches the ideals of Christian marriage

and family life he realizes that housing conditions, the high cost

of living, and modern social standards are working against his

preaching. Even while he is absolving a penitent he knows that

1



the graces of the sacrament will have to do hard battle against

a bad environment.

All priests in whatever kind of work cannot help feeling from

time to time a sense of frustration. They realize how inadequate

in many cases are the means at their disposal. They know that

even the sacraments suppose the existence of a favorable social

environment for their full effectiveness. They sense the need

of a powerful, positive force working in the world to provide

such an environment.

It was with distinct pleasure, therefore, that I accepted an

invitation last year to address a group of men and women who

belonged to an organization called The Christian Family Move-

ment. Here was an organization with an eminently positive aim:

—to restore Christian ideals in family life, and a remarkably
thorough purpose:—to work on the environment in which
families live, in order to make it easier for these families to be

and to remain imbued with Christianity. I accepted the invita-

tion anticipating an audience of perhaps a hundred. I arrived

to find a large hall literally packed with men and women from

all parts of Chicago and its suburbs. It was an amazing and

inspiring sight. I had been well aware, of course, of the existence

of The Christian Family Movement in Chicago. It had been in

existence in the Archdiocese for several years. It had received

the inspiration and blessing of His Eminence, Cardinal Stritch.

It had been steadily proving its value to pastors in various parts

of the Archdiocese. What amazed me that evening was the

fact that the movement had grown in so short a time to such

proportions, had penetrated the Archdiocese, had already trained

a significant number of fully-formed lay leaders.

This marvelous expansion is still going on. It is the desire

of His Eminence, the Cardinal, that The Christian Family Move-

ment continue to grow and prosper in the Archdiocese of Chi-

cago. It is my hope also that priests in other places as well will

become more familiar with the work and see for themselves the

results it produces. To that end this book will prove to be

invaluable.

Right Reverend Monsignor Edward M. Burke.

2



CHAPTER 1

the Christian family movement

A "good parish” is generally described as a parish which ex-
hibits such signs of parochial health as a large attendance at

Mass, general frequentation of the Sacraments, adequate financial

support, active parish societies, and a good annual crop of con-

verts. An IDEAL parish might be described as one which exhib-

its in addition to all these undeniable blessings a real participa-

tion on the part of the people in the total life of the parish. An

ideal parish might be one in which the sanctifying and unifying

influence of the Church penetrates beyond the walls of the

church and school and rectory into the family and the working

lives of all the people. It might be described as a parish in which

the parishioners play an active and a vital part, have a deep

sense of "belonging”, and more than that, a realization of their

obligation towards the parish as a whole and towards each other

as members of the parish. Such a parish would be one of which

the people think with pride and affection as THEIR PARISH;

it would be a parish in which the priests know the people and

the people know the priests, a parish in which priests and people

work together on a spiritual and apostolic level. In a word, the

ideal parish might be described as a parish in which the Church

3



is the very heart and center of a community, a parish which is

itself a community.

Many priests, fully aware of this ideal and trying to work

towards it, are faced at the outset with a basic obstacle—lack of
interest on the part of the people. "How”, they ask themselves,

"can the people be made to feel that they themselves have a stake

in the parish, that it is their parish, that they should have a

concern in all its problems?” The difficulty is very real, as can

be seen from a single example—the case of converts. All con-
vert literature stresses the fact that most converts are brought

into contact with the Church by lay-people; yet the average

layman regards the contacting of possible converts as the ex-

clusive job of the priest.

The Popes in recent pronouncements have insisted, time and

time again, that lay people must take a more active part in the

Church if the world is to know Christ. Because the Church is

the Mystical Body of Christ each member has a definite function

to perform. But how many laymen know what that function is?

Some priests fear that if the laity is given too big a voice in parish

affairs there will be a return to lay trusteeism, which caused so

much trouble in the last century. Actually the very opposite has

been found to be true. The result of the study of the Gospel and

of the doctrines of the Church has been to make the laity see the

priest as God intends him to be, a spiritual Father. Cooperation

with the priest in the work of the apostolate engenders a very

deep respect for the priesthood itself and a far better understand-

ing of the problems of the priest. Experience has shown that

these people usually become the staunchest supporters of the

priest in the parish.

inactivity of the laity

On the other hand, many priests realize that the layman’s lack

of interest in the welfare of the Church is impeding the growth

of the Church, that the real internal difficulty which the Church

faces today is not the overactivity but rather the inactivity of the

laity in the apostolate. The docility of our American Catholics is

admirable, but too often what passes for docility is a genuine

4



"religious inferiority complex.” The most elementary question

asked by a non-Catholic will usually elicit, even from Catholics

who have received a Catholic high school education the all-too

familiar response, "I’m only a layman; you’d better ask a priest.”

The single example cited earlier—the case of converts, is only
one instance of this attitude. Actually, for the most part, the lay

people still consider themselves merely passive members of the

Church. In their minds it is up to the clergy not only to admin-

ister the sacraments, conduct religious services, and take care of

all the spiritual and temporal needs of the parish but also to

coach basketball teams, run dances, in short, to do everything.

The task which faces the Church in the modern world is, all

hands agree, a gigantic task, differing in scope and depth from

those which have faced her for centuries. Secularism, the pre-

vailing evil of the day, has pervaded the press, the movies, the

schools, political life, the trades and professions, even, and most

disastrously, the home itself. As a result these institutions have

been dechristianized to the point where they are deforming in-

stead of forming Christians. The task of restoring all these

things in Christ is the task which faces the Church today. It is

the task of the Church,—not of the clergy alone, but of the
Church—clergy and laity together. It is a task which the clergy
is incapable of performing alone, in fact a task which in most

of its aspects the clergy is incapable of performing at all. The

press, the entertainment world, the industries, the professions,

the family are not the proper field of the clergy. Priests can and

must enunciate principles which apply in all these fields. But the

5



actual work of reforming these institutions will be done by those

who live and work within them. There is, of course, an indispen-

sible part which must be played by the clergy and by no one else,

that of training apostolic laymen. But the job itself will be done

by the laity or it will not be done at all.

The Catholic laity of today, therefore, occupy a much more

important place in the Church than they have for centuries, as

the last five Popes have never tired pointing out. Actually it is

the place they have always occupied. The doctrine of the Mys-

tical Body makes it clear that there is a division of work in the

Church and a corresponding division of responsibility, and that

in this work and this responsibility the laity have a very definite

and peculiarly indispensible share. The fact that this has not

been reaped, or even recognized at certain periods in the past

can be explained only on historical, not dogmatic ground. We
modern American priests, accustomed to the era, now ended, in

which our laity was a body of transplanted European Catholics

living in an alien and often hostile environment, may have diffi-

culty in making a mental adjustment to the present situation.

But, however difficult the adjustment may be, make it we must if

we are to accomplish the task at hand. Our people today need

more than mere "service”. They have a very definite, positive, ag-

gressive role to play, and it is we who must prepare them for it.

This doesn’t mean, of course, that they are to do OUR work; it
means rather that we must train them to do THEIR work, which

we have had to do for them in the past. They will do it much bet-

ter than we could ever hope to, precisely because it is their work.

small groups needed

There have been many suggestions as to how to interest the

laity in the work of the parish without giving them the notion

that they are to run the Church. Most of these suggestions have

been good and have produced some results. The idea, however,

that the laity should have an active part in the apostolic work of

the Church is still strange to the laity themselves. Most of them

need to be awakened to their mission in the Church. The ques-

tion is how to awaken them. Rallies, lectures, sermons are by

6



their very nature incapable of accomplishing the slow, steady,

gradual training of mind and will which is necessary in any

preparation for the apostolate.

Small groups of ten to twelve people, on the other hand, have

been found admirably suited to just this sort of formation. In

such groups there is opportunity for each individual to "have his

say”, ask questions, and be influenced by the alchemy of the

group. In such small groups, too, there is opportunity for each

member to assume responsibility, to bring his will as well as his

intellect into the training process.

what some men did

In 1942 a group of eight men from all parts of Chicago met

to discuss whether there was something practical they could do

in the parish apostolate. They realized that the young workers,

the students, and other groups have an important part to play in

restoring a full parish life. They realized also that all the ordi-

nary parish organizations have a great deal to do in building up

the ideal parish. They were searching for a particular apostolic

work which they could do. Because they had different types of

jobs they decided that the business world would not be their

proper field of activity. They decided, therefore, that family life

was their common ground and that they would do what they

could to restore that one field of life to Christ. They worked out

a simple formula for their meetings: some Gospel and Liturgy

study to provide motivation, and a Social Inquiry
1

to lead to

action.

In time their wives formed similar groups. Later it became

apparent that husbands and wives could not work effectively on

family problems if they continued to meet separately. It also

became apparent that the proper field of action for such groups

was their own parish. Therefore the groups combined and reor-

ganized along parochial lines. When this was done, in 1947, the

CHRISTIAN FAMILY MOVEMENT was born.2 In other
1

cf. glossary p. 56.

2

In Chicago the movement was called CHRISTIAN FAMILY ACTION,
both names refer to the same organization. We shall use the name Christian
Family Movement (CFM) throughout the pamphlet even when referring
to Chicago.

7



cities, such as New York and South Bend, Ind., a similar move-

ment was simultaneously developing.

In 1949 ten cities, representing approximately twenty-five

groups, sent delegates to Childerly Farm in Wheeling, Illinois,

to exchange ideas and techniques. When a similar meeting was

held in South Bend in 1951 it was reported that there were ap-

proximately 119 groups in 39 cities. Chicago has shown the

most remarkable growth. In 1948 there were three or four

groups of perhaps twenty or twenty-five couples. In June, 1951

that number had grown to fifty parish groups comprising in all

about seven hundred couples.

accomplishments

Before the busy priest accepts an idea such as the Christian

Family Movement he rightly asks what results have been pro-

duced and what results he himself can expect.

It is difficult to pin-point accurately the results of the Christian

Family Movement. Much of the effort put forth so far has had

as its object the Christianization of ideas. This is necessarily a

slow process. Most of the actions performed by the groups are

small, personal ones which have gone unrecorded. Unspectacu-

lar though they are, however, these small actions are by no

means unimportant. The first objective of CFM is the training

of its members. Repeated small acts of service, and the constant

effort to extend one’s influence, to change one’s environment

even in very little ways are vital for "training-through-action”,

which is the heart of the technique.

I. notable results

Nonetheless some notable things have been accomplished.

The early formation and promotion of the Cana Conference in

Chicago was largely the work of CFM. The men in the original

group, studying various problems of family life, came to the

conclusion that a better understanding of the psychology and

ideals of marriage would contribute to happier marriages. Search-

ing for some practical means of bringing about this understand-

ing, they helped promote Cana Conferences which were a modi-

fied form of the "Family Retreats” such as had been given by the

8



Reverend John P. Delany S.J. of New York. In Chicago, Cana

and CFM still work in very close cooperation, since CFM begins

where Cana leaves off. (Cana aims primarily at helping a couple

to make their own home more Christian, whereas the aim of

CFM is to create a community which will he a help, not a hin-

drance to families in living a Christian life.)

The Pre-Cana Conference, in turn, was started by the women’s

groups as a practical way to help engaged couples make a better

preparation for marriage.

The Christian Family Movement in South Bend has founded

a school to help mentally retarded children. The idea caught on

so well that the school is now a civic project in which the entire

city is interested.

In the East, the men of Woonsocket, R. I. built a camp as a

much needed recreational ground for factory workers. The fam-

ily groups of New York persuaded certain doctors to give obstet-

rical care to families at very reasonable rates.

A number of groups have adopted the practice of making wel-

coming calls on newcomers in the parish, and in some parishes

have organized clubs for young couples. There are other activi-

ties of this sort; but they are not the principle norm by which

CFM should be judged.

II. development of a Christian spirit

Equally important are the many small actions which initiate

a Christian spirit among the people on a certain block or in a

certain parish. The hundreds of small actions such as helping a

sick mother, baby sitting for people who can’t afford to hire a

girl, encouraging other people to do the same sort of charitable

things aid the development of a Christian spirit in a community.

This spirit of Christian community is actually beginning to

grow in parishes in which CFM is more fully developed. People
have become more friendly and cooperative. They are beginning

to take a genuine interest in their parish and are proud to be a

part of it. Moreover, in all parishes where there is a good CFM
section the traditional organizations are benefitting. The mem-

bers of CFM are normally members of these various groups and

9



their influence is quickly felt. The reason for this is important.

In CFM these men and women are receiving a slow but steady

training. ( It is precisely this training of the laity which makes

CFM and the other forms of specialized Catholic Action

unique. ) As their leadership develops they take an increasingly

active and constructive part in parish organizations. In theory

CFM has been compared to a central heating plant which makes

itself felt in all the parish societies. Many a priest has discovered

that the best "shot in the arm” for a Holy Name Society or

Women’s Club is a good CFM section in the parish.

III. personal sanctification

Finally, a very important and much more immediate result of

CFM is the personal sanctification of its members. While it is

true that the main purpose of CFM is the Christianization of a

community, those who are engaged in such a work inevitably

find that their own lives are being transformed in the process.

While endeavoring to bring Christ into the lives of others in-

variably they discover that they have brought Him more deeply

into their own.

10



CHAPTER 2

how to start a section

Experience indicates that the most effective way to start the

Christian Family Movement in a parish is to assemble five or six

couples and plunge immediately into the first meeting found in

the booklet, "FOR HAPPIER FAMILIES.”
1
In Chicago, when a

new Section is to be started the chaplain or one of the couples

notifies the Federation, and a specially trained couple is on hand

for the first few meetings. This couple may spend about ten

minutes explaining in a general way the meaning and purpose

of CFM. The group will then begin the first meeting in the book-

let. The visiting couple may or may not conduct the second

meeting. They will skip the third meeting but will attend the

fourth in order to answer questions and see that things are run-

ning smoothly. In places where there is no Federation or other

Section
2
nearby it is best to assemble the people and that very

night have one of the couples act the part of the leader and

begin with the first meeting in the booklet.

The booklet which outlines CFM for the lay people and contains the first
1 3 meetings for new groups.

2

cf. glossary p. 56.

11



aids to organizing a section ‘

1. If it is at all possible the meetings should be rotated among

the couples’ homes. This makes for an informality and

friendliness that a parish meeting room may lack.

2. Refreshments should be no more than coffee and cake, coke

or beer served AFTER the meeting. This will eliminate

"keeping up with the Joneses.”

3. At the first meeting the organizing couple and the chaplain

should be there early to greet each couple and make each

person feel at ease.

4.

The organizing couple (or if no such couple is available,

the chaplain) may give a short talk (no longer than ten

minutes) explaining informally what CFM is. Technical

terms such as "Apostolate”, "Mystical Body”, "Liturgy”,

"Inquiry Technique” should be avoided. The simpler the

12



talk the better it will be. The introduction to this booklet

might form the basis for this talk.

5. The organizing couple (or, if none is available, some

couple prepared by the chaplain) will then begin with the

first meeting in the booklet, 'Tor Happier Families.”

The first few minutes are of vital importance. Everyone

must see instantly that this is not going to be too intellectual

too difficult or embarrassing. The questions should be

simple and easy to answer. The questions in the booklet

are meant to be a help to discussion and are not to be fol-

lowed slavishly.

6. A simple action should result from the discussion. The
actions in the booklet are merely suggestions and may be

followed or not as the group wishes.

7. As regards the Liturgy section of the meeting, the chaplain

and the group should decide whether to begin with a study

of the Mystical Body or of the Mass. Both should be cov-

ered in time.

8. None of the couples will have made any observations for

the Social Inquiry.
3
Therefore before the Social Inquiry is

begun it would be wise for the couples to determine just

what constitutes their neighborhood—a block, an entrance
way in an apartment building, a whole town. Then, because

the observation part will be brief, they might discuss

whether it is good to be friendly with the people who make

up this neighborhood. The chaplain should not be aston-

ished at any ideas expressed. He is not dealing, as yet, with

formed Christians.

9. The meeting should be limited to one and one half hours.

If it can be cut off when interest is high, all the couples will

want to come back next time.

10.

At the end the chaplain should say a few encouraging

words, and explain why he does not speak during the meet-

s
cf. glossary p. 56.

13



ing itself. He then gives his blessing, which concludes the

formal meeting.

11. A secretary should be chosen at the first meeting to keep
notes along the lines indicated in 'Tor Happier Families,”

(p. 21 ), and to remind the group, at the next meeting, of

the actions decided upon.

12. Even though a secretary records the actions, each couple

should have a notebook in which they too record the

actions for themselves.

13. If there is a Federation the organizing couple or the secre-

tary should make sure that the Federation is notified of the

names, addresses, and phone numbers of all the people

connected with the group.

14. The time and place of the next meeting should be set. Meet-

ings are held every other week.

choosing a leader

In the beginning the couples take turns leading the meeting.

After leadership has been rotated once or twice the chaplain,

14



having consulted the couples, selects a permanent leader .
4 When

a couple has been chosen to be the permanent leaders, the hus-

band leads the Social Inquiry, but the other couples take turns

leading the Gospel and Liturgy .
5

recruiting of couples

The first practical problem facing a chaplain is how to recruit

couples with whom to start. In some cases the priest himself

will have to contact them; in other cases an interested couple

will contact him. Ordinarily, the people choose the members of

the group with the approval of the chaplain. Often the priest

may suggest couples who live in a different part of the parish or

who belong to a different crowd. Cana Conferences have been

found to be a help in recruiting couples.

The chaplain should be consulted on all prospective members.

Otherwise couples may be contacted which he knows are not

suitable for this type of apostolate. On the other hand, the

chaplain should pay serious attention to the suggestions of the

lay people. Experience has shown that in choosing lay leaders,

lay people are often better judges than the priest. After the Sec-

tion has been organized for a time, it is good to make a general

rule that the people themselves must do the recruiting, and that

those who join the Section should first serve an apprenticeship

in an Action Group .
6

4
By "leader” is meant a couple. The husband leads the discussion on the

Social Inquiry and is usually the one referred to when the word "leader”

occurs. Actually however, for a leader to be effective, his wife must work

closely with him. She too has a share in forming the section members. She

will have to do much of the routine work for him, such as making tele-

phone calls to remind the members of the time of the meeting or of the

actions to be done. She can say things or give hints during the discussion

which he, as leader, can not. She can add suggestions or ideas when she

sees that he is not putting an idea across. In fact, some couples prepare the

meetings so well together at home that they both ask questions and work

together in drawing out the other couples. The wife may be quicker than

her husband to sense a mood or undercurrent in some statement, and she

can bring it out into the open by a question or two.

“Either the husband or the wife may lead the discussion of the Gospel and

the Liturgy. Sometimes the husband takes one and the wife the other.

6
cf. glossary p. 56.

15



AS A RULE, COUPLES WHO HAVE A CERTAIN
AMOUNT OF GENEROSITY AND WHO SEEM TO HAVE
THE ABILITY TO INFLUENCE A FEW OTHER COUPLES

ARE THE BEST CHOICE. ON THE WHOLE, COUPLES
RECENTLY MARRIED OR THOSE WITH PRE-SCHOOL

OR GRADE SCHOOL CHILDREN ARE THE BEST MA-

TERIAL.
7

A couple should not be ruled out merely because one or the

other is not a "good” Catholic. If that person is interested and

has some qualities of leadership he or she should be admitted.

In time such a member will either become a good Catholic or

drop out of the Section. Sometimes the faithful standbys in a

parish are good material for CFM; in other cases they may be

too engrossed in other organizations, or may have made too

many "enemies” to be any longer effective. The mere fact that

T

It would be most unwise to admit couples in the hope that "it will do

them good.”

16



a man does well as president of the Holy Name Society does

not necessarily mean that he will be effective in a Section.

how to interest prospective couples

In trying to interest couples in CFM the chaplain should be

brief, simple and down to earth.
8
Experience indicates that dis-

turbing literature is an ineffective way of interesting couples.

Personal contact by the chaplain or one of the couples is usually

most effective. The title of the booklet "For Happier Families”

contains the key word for the sales talk, "Happier.”

1. For a family to be happy each individual member

must be happy. Each has certain needs—physical, psycho-
logical and spiritual, which must be satisfied in the family.

A simple example: Any priest knows that a home in which

the husband is not the head of the house is an unhappy one,

unsatisfactory to both the wife and the husband.

2. A family cannot live in isolation. One of the most
important factors for family happiness is a Christian atmos-

phere in the community, which makes it easier rather than

more difficult to live a Christian life.

3. The married people themselves are best suited to dis-

cover how they are to live a happy life in a friendly neigh-

borhood. They are the ones who are close to the problem,

and they have the sacrament of Matrimony, which gives

them the graces to solve the problems of their state of life.

4. From a practical viewpoint it is important for parents

to know the people and conditions of the neighborhood.

Their children will be formed by those people and that

environment. Therefore good parents will want to make

their neighborhood the best possible place for their

children.

5. CFM is an organization which, on a very practical
level, tries to determine the habits necessary to bring happi-

8

One chaplain assembled three or four couples and talked to them for

several hours. It took him months to get them all together again, later he

learned that each couple had secretly resolved to keep out of his way be-

cause he wore them out with talk.

17



ness to the people in a family and to the families in a

neighborhood.

points to be remembered:

Perhaps it would be well to indicate a few points which the

chaplain should keep in mind when dealing with CFM.

it is a LAY movement

The apostolate in a diocese is the care of the Ordinary. And

the lay apostolate, therefore, because it is not autonomous but a

sharing in that of the bishop, must be under his direction and in

obedience to him. CFM is a lay arm of the Bishop in the aposto-

late to the family. To be effective as such it must be a LAY

movement, directed by the LAY people, planned by the LAY

people, and carried out by the LAY people. Hence the inde-

pendent thinking of the lay people must be encouraged. The

lay people work out with the priest the principles by which to

judge a particular situation. They then apply this judgment to

their own lives. In other words they are not merely "yes men”

to Father, but ACTIVE collaborators in the apostolate. Only

THEY are capable of initiating certain changes in their lives and

in the community.

18



it is a CHRISTIAN movement

Because this is the CHRISTIAN Family Movement it must

aim at Christianizing everything which affects the family. In this

Christianization two extremes must be avoided:

1 ) A preoccupation with the purely spiritual which confines

itself to sponsoring pious practices in the home and the neigh-

borhood.

2 ) A preoccupation with the purely temporal which attempts

to solve human problems while ignoring supernatural means.

Both temporal and spiritual means must be used. The family

Rosary will not ordinarily banish strife and quarrels from a four

room flat in which a couple and five children have to live.

it is a FAMILY movement

The couples should act together as couples. If there are five

couples in a group there will not be ten units, but five—e.g.
there will be five reports on actions taken. Husband and wife

should talk over the Gospel, the Reports, and the Social In-

quiry at home, and come to the meeting with their JOINT con-

clusions.

Too often people wish to spend a long time perfecting them-

selves and their own marriage before attempting to help others

If we were to expect self perfection before attempting to help

others, not only would this help not be forthcoming but also self

perfection itself would never be attained. The development of

the individual couple comes in great part through its actions.

They have a little, and they make use of this little for others. In

time they will see more clearly the need for self improvement,

realizing that they are not so effective as they should be. The

group will at first tend to discuss their own problems—their
children, their troubles, their financial worries. If the group fol-

lows this line two unfortunate things will happen:

(a) very little will be done to change the environment.

(b) the men will lose interest.
1

1A man likes to keep things objective and somewhat impersonal. He does
not want to have his family problems brought out into the open before

others, and he feels uncomfortable when the problems of others are pre-

sented to him in too personal a way.

19



The Social Inquiry, properly used, will force the group to con-

sider not their own problems but those of the families in the

environment.

it is a movement dedicated to ACTION

This is an organization devoted to ACTION. Mere talk will

not affect the world. Even though the group talks long and

well, if it acts little it is a poor group. If, on the other hand, the

discussions, though neither long nor learned, produce effective

actions, the group is a good one. Priests, who are so used to

talking things out "per longum and latum”, often tend to judge

a group as good if there is profound and interesting discussion.

The actions determined upon should be very simple, easy and

feasible. Small actions should not be considered unimportant.

An environment is conditioned by thousands of little actions

done by various people. A community or an apartment build-
ing is friendly or unfriendly not because of some edict from on

high, but because of the presence or absence of hundreds of

little acts of friendliness and consideration. The little actions, all

hitting at the same problem, performed by the groups all over

the city and all over the country are bound, in time, to have their

effect in changing an environment.

20



CHAPTER 3

the meeting and its preparation

The procedure used at both Section and Action Group meet-

ings is as follows:

1 ) Opening prayer

2) Gospel

3) Liturgy

4) Reports

5 ) Social Inquiry

6 ) Remarks by the chaplain

7 ) Closing prayer

N.B. The chaplain should be present at the section meeting.

He is not, however, a participant. His work is done beforehand,

when he prepares the meeting with those who are to conduct the

various parts.

the gospel

At every meeting the group discusses the appointed verses of

the Gospel and applies them to their daily lives. The Gospel

discussion is not an exegetical exposition. It is NOT necessary
for the people to understand what each word means in the

original Greek. All they want is a clear idea of the meaning of

the passage, and a simple application of it to their lives. Very

21



simple discussion questions are given in "FOR HAPPIER

FAMILIES" or in the INQUIRY BULLETIN .1 An understand-

ing of the application of the teachings of Christ to everyday life

can have only one result—a decision to perform some action
during the week to bring that ideal to fruition. The action

should be definite and not too difficult. It does no good merely

to resolve to feed the hungry, but to feed without complaint the

hungry children playing in the back yard is something concrete,

attainable, and Christlike.

the liturgy

The chief inducement to active work in CFM is proper moti-

vation. This is furnished by the Gospel, in which we study the

historical Christ, and by the Liturgy in which we study Christ

living in His Church. The doctrines of the Church, when prop-

erly understood, have a great driving force, and many of them

have a particular application today. Hence in the Liturgy section

great emphasis is placed on the doctrine of the Mystical Body, an

understanding of which will rouse in any Christian a desire to be

apostolic. This desire is increased not only by the realization of

the close union of all the faithful but also by the conviction that

Christ will not ordinarily spread His Kingdom without the help

of the people. The social aspects of the Mass, the Sacraments, and

the doctrine of grace are stressed in the meeting, in order to pro-

vide deep spiritual motivation for the apostolate. Although this

section of the meeting is called "THE LITURGY”, the groups in

Chicago do not confine themselves merely to a consideration of

liturgical ceremonies and practices. Rather they use the word

"Liturgy" to designate the study of the living Church and its

doctrines as they appear in the sacramental and prayer life of the

Church.

preparation of the gospel

The preparation of the Gospel and Liturgy affords the chap-

lain a fine opportunity to come to know and understand the

kf. glossary p. 56.

22



couples. Inasmuch as the leadership of these two parts of the

meeting is rotated he has a chance to have a personal talk with

each member at regular intervals .
2

The tendency of the priest when he prepares the Gospel may

be to dig up all the scripture commentaries available, read them

to the person, or tell him to take them home and read them. Such

a practice is a sure way to stifle interest in the Gospel study. It

will result in the leader’s launching into a lecture when the

people do not hit upon the ideas developed by the commentators.

Then the priest will feel impelled to clear up points which the

leader has missed. It is not necessary that the people know all

about the textual differences, the etymology, the derivation of

sayings or customs. The essential thing is that having grasped

the basic idea of what Christ taught they apply it to their lives .
3

The chaplain in the preparation, and the leader during the

Gospel discussion, can best bring out the lesson of each passage

by asking two or three simple questions: e.g. "What is Christ

trying to teach us by this story?" "How can we apply this lesson

to our daily lives?” "How can we apply this lesson to the en-

vironment in which we live?" These questions rather than ques-

tions such as, "How much is a denarius worth?”, should be the

starting point of our discussions. After the priest has listened to

the explanation given him by the couple or person with whom

he is preparing the Gospel he may well ask a few questions to

bring out some points which were missed. If a certain idea is not

clear the priest might ask a question—e.g. "Is this the only idea
you get from this passage?” Once in a while he may find it

necessary to give a brief explanation of the meaning of some

word or custom e.g. in the parable of the wise and foolish virgins,

2

Some chaplains prefer to have a different couple come in each time to pre-

pare. Because this method entails the expense of a baby sitter, many chap-

lains go to the couple’s home. Other chaplains prefer to have a different

person come in each time—the men one time around, the wives the next.
The pamphlet "THE CLOSED BOOK”, written by Stewart Craig, pub-
lished by the Grail, Field House, Eastcote, Middlesex, England and avail-

able at St. Benet’s Library, 506 S. Wabash Avenue, Chicago, has helped

many people to see how the Gospel stories can be put into modern

language and modern applications drawn from the stories.

23



a little explanation of the marriage customs of the Jews helps

the people to understand the story.

The action from a Gospel discussion may be of various kinds:

a) It may be the same action for each couple, e.g. "We

will each take a half day to help Mrs. Jones, who is sick.”

b) It may be a different action for each couple, e.g. in

discussing the corporal works of mercy one couple will

have a lonely person to dinner; another will visit the sick

lady down the block; a third will write to a boy overseas.

c) At times each person may make a separate resolu-

tion. If humility is the virtue to be applied it may be hard

to find one particular act that all can do to practice humil-

ity, but each person can resolve on some action which would

be humbling to him and her. Each couple or person should

write the resolution in a note book in order that it can be

checked during the week and at the next meeting.
4

4

The time schedule should be observed closely. Because the Gospel is the

most interesting part of the meeting the group will tend to spend too much

time on it. For the first few meetings it is permissible for them to spend a

little more than the allotted time on the Gospel, since they are learning to

contribute to the general discussion. Some people make the mistake at first

of thinking that the Gospel is the most important part of the meeting.

24



preparation of the liturgy

While discussing the Liturgy in the meeting the leader may

be prone to forget to use the Socratic method and be content to

give a little lecture. The couples say that they do not know

enough about various doctrines or liturgical practices to be able

to discuss them intelligently and fruitfully, and hence they are

willing merely to listen. They exaggerate their ignorance. In

reality they do have a large fund of knowledge acquired over the

years from school, reading, and hearing sermons.

In the preparation of the Liturgy the chaplain will have to

use great ingenuity to bring out this knowledge latent in the

leader. If the questions are from a source book e.g. the Encyclical

on the Mystical Body the couple should read the material before-

hand and be prepared to answer the questions. If there is no

source book the chaplain may have to rephrase questions several

times in order to elicit some response from the couple. In no

case should the chaplain allow the couple to remain merely pas-

sive. He must get them to answer all the questions they can, and

give information only after he is sure that they have no more

to give to him.

the reports

At every meeting a report is made by each couple on what

they have done during the week. This report covers the follow-

ing points:

1 ) Whether they performed the action drawn from the Social

Inquiry of the previous meeting.

2 ) Whether they performed the Gospel action determined up-

on at the previous meeting.

3 ) Any situation or problem in their neighborhood with which

the group could help, e.g. someone who is sick and needs a

baby sitter.
5

After a few meetings the leader should try to keep to the allotted fifteen

minutes. In one section in which the Gospel discussion had been habitually

getting out of hand, the leader resorted to setting an alarm clock, which

rang after 15 minutes, ending the discussion.

“Some groups also report on attendance at Mass, reception of Communion,

and spiritual reading.

25



Following the reports the leader makes any announcements he

may have for the group. Actions previously determined upon

and not yet completed are also discussed at this time .
6
This part

of the meeting should be as brief as possible.

why report?

Action is essential to the Christian Family Movement. Since

the groups usually decide upon a common action which every-

one is expected to do, everyone has a right to know whether the

action was done. Each couple must keep track of the progress of

the Section to see whether it is making progress. The only way

this progress can be observed is by means of reports on actions

done and not done. Moreover, people are encouraged by the

example of
,

others. If a man feels that a certain action is too

difficult he may change his mind when he sees others doing it

successfully.

“Occasionally the groups decide upon an action which can not be completed

in the interval between meetings either because the action is a permanent

project e.g. visiting newcomers or because the action requires a longer time

to perform, e.g. organizing a married couples club. Normally the actions

are completed before the next meeting.



Lest it be thought that such reporting might take on the nature

of boasting it should be pointed out that reporting actually makes

for humility rather than pride. What is expected is so great, and

what is done is so little. Failure as well as success should be

reported. There is a certain mortification in admitting failure.

This in itself is a big factor in developing the spiritual life of the

people.

Most people can understand the need for reports on the action

from the Social Inquiry. They may have more difficulty with

those actions which derive from the Gospel, since the Gospel

action is often of a personal nature. Even if the actions are some-

what personal it is good, when possible, to say just what was ac-

complished because the action may suggest similar actions to

other members of the group. In any case, everyone should at

least say whether or not he performed the Gospel action.

All these various actions worked out by individuals will in

time help the group form a composite picture of a full Christian

life. No one person can think of all the little ways in which

charity should be practiced in the home; but four or five families

together each telling their efforts to practice charity in their

homes can arrive at a fairly complete picture of a home in

which charity prevails.

Perhaps the simplest and best argument in favor of making a

report is that it has worked with other groups. Many new groups

object to it at first, but eventually come to see how necessary it is.

Groups which do not make reports usually do little. Human

nature being what it is, a visible checkup does much to encourage

the weak and to enable the strong to do greater things.

the social inquiry

The most important part of the meeting is the Social Inquiry.

If everything else goes poorly, and the Social Inquiry goes well

the meeting is still a good one. If, on the other hand, there is a

long and even fruitful discussion on the Gospel and Liturgy but

a poor Social Inquiry the meeting is a poor one.

27



The Inquiry method of OBSERVE, JUDGE and ACT is not

something new; it is merely the formalizing of the ordinary

thought processes which are used time and time again every day.

Whenever a decision has to be made one surveys the situation,

judges it, and decides how to act. The more complete the survey

and the more accurate the judgment, the better the odds that

the decision will be a correct one. Hence it is important that the

couples MAKE ACCURATE OBSERVATIONS—NOT JUST
GUESSES on the subject of the Inquiry. If they have accurate

and concrete facts to discuss rather than a surmise or a guess

about conditions, they will have concrete situations to judge and

a solid basis for a practical action. In their judging they will dis-

cover the general principles governing the situation and apply

these principles to the facts gathered in the observations. On the

basis of the facts and the judgment passed on those facts they

will determine what action is to be taken.

Thus the general observation that mothers who are sick have

difficulty getting help in their homes is not enough. Rather, the

group should bring in the names of sick mothers who have no

help, and should know the conditions resulting from this lack of

help. In judging they will apply the corporal works of mercy in-

volved in taking care of the sick, not to the sick in general, but

28



to the sick mothers they have observed, and will determine an

action to help those mothers.

The observations must be concrete, and should whenever pos-

sible, include some knowledge of the causes of the situation and

of its effects on the people or the neighborhood involved. Since

making good observations is difficult, the group should discuss

various ways of gathering facts. The work of observing should

be done prior to the meeting.

The ’'Judge”, while aimed directly at the facts observed, serves

to form a Christian mentality in the couples of the group because

they are learning and discussing Christian principles as applied

to daily life. After following the inquiry method for several

years the couples should have a well rounded Christian men-

tality.

Finally, the actions must flow DIRECTLY from the observa-

tions and the judgment. The actions should be concrete, prac-

tical, and easy to perform.

preparation with the leader

An indispensible prelude to a good meeting is the preparation

of the Social Inquiry by the leader and the chaplain. Many lead-

ers by dint of real interest and thorough preparation with the

chaplain have led excellent groups even though their discussion

techniques have left much to be desired. A few days before the

meeting the leader, and his wife if possible, should see the chap-

29



lain to prepare the Social Inquiry. The leader should come armed

with the observations he and his wife have already made on the

subject and with their judgment of those observations. The

leader presents these facts to the chaplain and tells what he

thinks about them. The chaplain, using the Socratic method,

does not lecture him but tries by provocative questions to help

him arrive at a Christian judgment of the situation. The couples

will have to do all the observing and all the acting, but they will

get the principles by which they judge a situation and according

to which they formulate their actions in great part from the

chaplain. One of the chaplains main tasks in CFM is forming

the mentality of the leader in such a way that the leader begins

to think according to the standards of Christ. The "judgment”

in the Inquiry is therefore, of great concern to the chaplain.

Again, he must remember not to lecture the leader or give him

"pat” answers. Rather, he must encourage the leader to discover

these principles for himself just as the leader expects the group

to do at the meeting.

be an optimist

The chaplain should be hopeful and encouraging both in the

preparation of the leader and in his remarks to the section mem-

bers after the meeting. Many things will go wrong in the be-

ginning; people will not live up to expectations; discussions will

be badly handled; some members may drop out or become rela-

tively inactive. The natural tendency will be to try to "pep up”

the group by scolding or complaining. This is a poor technique.

The mere fact that the couples are trying to help the Church and

want to belong to an apostolic organization is reason for hope

and optimism. If the chaplain looks closely he will find many

little things to praise; he will see that many of the people are

making progress both spiritually and intellectually, and that

some problems are being solved, although they may be small

ones.

30



CHAPTER 4

spiritual direction

"Every true and lasting reform has ultimately sprung,” wrote

Pius XI, "from the sanctity of men who were driven by the love

of God and men.”
1 CFM is a work of reformation; it will suc-

ceed or fail depending on the sanctity of its members. The very

technique of CFM provides a vehicle by which the necessary

sanctification can be facilitated. The New Testament, the Liturgy

and the "judge” part of the Inquiry properly used provide moti-

vation. And the actions which emanate from these parts of the

meeting build up by a slow but steady process the necessary

virtues. The technique, however, does not work "ex opere ope-

rato”. It supposes for its effectiveness a great deal of personal

and individual direction on the part of the chaplain. The chap-

lain must inject an apostolic spirit into the leader and through

the leader into the group.

A common objection couples raise to joining CFM is "How

can I make the world Christian when I myself am not too good

a Christian?” Such people think that they should put their per-

sonal lives in order first and then try to be apostolic. Is this a

valid objection? Is it necessary to provide some form of Christian

Encyclical "Mit Brennender Sorge”.

31



training for people before admitting them to CFM? No! THE

CFM TECHNIQUE ITSELF PROVIDES THAT FORMA-

TION. Perhaps the most unusual feature of CFM is that the

sanctification of its members comes in great part through the

actions they perform. Following the axiom, "Nemo dat quod

non habet” the people give what little they can to their neigh-

bors, and as they themselves advance in the knowledge and prac-

tice of real Christianity they give more to the people around

them. This idea of formation through action should color all

the talks and conferences the priest has with the members of

CFM. It should determine the virtues and mortifications which

will have to be emphasized. Because the action on the com-

munity results from the meeting, much of the couples’ sanctifi-

cation will come from the meeting itself.

Some of this formation which comes from the meeting is

obvious: When a couple is discussing the Gospel and Liturgy

they are talking about Christ and learning to live like Him. The

same is true of the "judge” in the Inquiry. While the people are

judging a particular situation in the light of Christian principles

they are forming Christian convictions.

There is, however, a subtle training in virtue which comes

from following the CFM technique. This must not be under-

estimated. If, for example, a couple prepares the meeting to-

gether in their own home, discussing the Liturgy, Gospel, and

Social Inquiry beforehand they are learning to think together.

If they have not been in the habit of talking over other problems

they will learn from these discussions how to talk over ALL

their problems. As their powers of observation are sharpened by

gathering facts for the Inquiry they will notice mistakes others

are making, and will become conscious of the same faults in

their own lives. A man who had been spending too many nights

away from home gradually came to the realization that he was

neglecting his own family when he saw what effect the frequent

absences of the father had on other families.

The classical way of learning a new language is to begin with

a grammar and vocabulary list, to proceed from simple to com-

32



piex sentences, to understand why each word is used. Usually

this method takes years to produce a good linguist. On the other

hand, the army turned out thousands of men who learned to

speak a language well in six months. This was done by making

the men use the language from the first class. Often the soldiers

did not know why they used a certain word or construction, but

they knew they were using it correctly because they had heard it

used that way by experts. Afterwards, if they wished, they could

study the theory of the language; but they had learned to speak

it first. This is the theory of CFM—spiritual formation through
action. If the couples act like Christians in small ways, in time

they will become mature Christians. A couple which has been

faithful to CFM for several years has a right to expect that at the

end of that time a great many of their ideas and actions will have

become more Christian.

general spiritual direction of the group

One of the means by which the chaplain gives general spirit-

ual direction to the group is a three to five minute talk following

the section meeting. In these talks he should stress the necessity

of daily Mass and Communion, the family rosary, meditation, etc.

On one hand, the chaplain must be very careful not to push the

people too hard. On the other hand he must not be afraid to

broach spiritual subjects. In the beginning these talks should

have as their subject the virtues which the group needs most. The

chaplain, however, in all his talks should constantly stress these

few ideas:

1) THE NEED FOR SPIRITUAL MOTIVATION. Even

though the couples are working on such material things as

housing, playgrounds, baby-sitter service, recreation, etc.,

they must nevertheless be motivated by the love of Christ.

If the people do not keep this in mind in all thir actions,

they will make little spiritual progress.

2 ) THE COMPLETELY APOSTOLIC TENOR of CFM. CFM
is frankly missionary. It aims to produce once again an at-

mosphere conducive to Christian living. Many people today

are pagan or semi-pagan even though they wear a Christian

33



label. CFM must help them to become Christian. This is

done not only by the personal approach but by Christianiz-

ing the environment, i.e. recreation, education, work, family

life, etc.

3) THE NOTION OF SERVICE. The chaplain must con-

stantly remind the group that they serve Christ by serving

others. This is done mainly through the spiritual and cor-

poral works of mercy. The basis for this service should be

explained—the Mystical Body.
4) THE NECESSITY OF SOME SPIRITUAL READING.

Obviously the Bible and the Papal Encyclicals are to be

recommended to all. The chaplain will have to exercise

great care in recommending other books to the group.

In addition to the priests talks there is a need for evenings of

recollection and retreats for couples.
2

These are specifically

geared to the apostolate and to the type of spirituality proper to

married people. The priest must give a great deal of thought to

the preparation of the material for these retreats and days of

recollection since little has been written on the spiritual life as

it applies to married people. Discussion with the couples them-

selves will be a great aid to the priest in clarifying his thoughts

along these lines.

particular direction

A talk by the priest after the meeting, evenings of recollection,

and an annual retreat do not suffice, however, in the training of

an apostle. Some individual attention is needed. This is usually

given at the time when the priest and the couple prepare the

meeting.
3

The priest will then be able to observe each member’s progress

and to make more personal the points stressed in his talks after

the meeting. His attitude must always be one of encouragement

2

The Chicago CFM Federation sponsors two week-end retreats a year for
couples. However, because most couples can not leave their children for

that long a time, evenings of recollection are held at regular intervals.

*At times it may be good to have the husband or wife alone prepare the

meeting so that the priest will have an opportunity to talk to each indi-

vidually.

34



and praise rather than criticism. The efforts of the people will

not always come up to expectations. Nonetheless, the priest

must take care to single out some point to be praised. People

will respond to the encouragement of the priest, whereas they

will be discouraged by his indifference or criticism. At this time

the chaplain might also discuss any personal problems which

might be brought up.

35



CHAPTER 5

action groups

Up to this point we have been speaking almost exclusively in

terms of the leaders’ group, or "Section”. This stress on the Sec-

tion is altogether necessary. The Section is not only the starting-

point, the first objective in point of achievement—it is the basic
unit of CFM. And the strength of the movement will always be

determined by the strength of the Sections of which it is com-

posed. The entire organization in any given city or town will

grow in two ways from the Sections organized in that locality.

The larger organizations—regional groups and diocesan Feder-
ation—will come into being only when there are enough Sec-
tions to make their establishment necessary. The other growth

of the Section—the further penetration of the neighborhood
must be initiated as quickly as possible. A Section is, after all,

a group of leaders. Both their effectiveness in changing their

environment and the success of their development as leaders de-

mand that they exercise this leadership with someone. Each

leader couple—i.e. each couple in the Section needs for the sake
of its own formation an Action Group—three or four couples at
least—with whom they meet regularly. They need this group,
moreover, not only as a means of exercising their leadership, but

56



also as a means of extending their efforts in the neighborhood.

The most striking feature of the specialized apostolate (of which

CFM is a part) is the method whereby the influence of one priest

can be multiplied, squared, and re-squared until it reaches into

every corner of the community. The initial source of this in-

fluence is the chaplain’s work with the leader of the Section.

That initial training given to one couple is multiplied (say by

five or six) at the Section meeting, where the leader continues

the training with the couples who comprise the Section. But the

really astonishing part of the whole process is that the multipli-

cation does not end there. Each couple in the Section, is the

head of another group of couples, an Action Group, which meets

regularly, and repeats, in substance, the section meeting. The

training given at the original meeting between the chaplain and

the leader cascades down through the Section into the Action

Groups until it has reached, by direct contact alone, thirty

couples—or sixty individuals.
The Action Group, therefore, is a vital part of CFM. A Sec-

37



tion which has as yet no Action Groups must always be regarded

as an embryonic Section. A Section in which there are some
Action Groups but not the full quota must be regarded as not

yet mature. Any couple which is unable or unwilling ultimately

to form an Action Group is not good section material. Ideally

Action Groups meet every other week. However, in the begin-

ning they may be willing to meet only once a month or once

every three weeks.

the action group meeting

The couple which recruited the Action Group leads the meet-

ing. The husband always leads the Social Inquiry, but the wife

may lead the Gospel and the Liturgy. The couple gets no special

preparation for leading the Action Group meeting other than

that acquired through their participation in a previous Section

meeting. An Action Group begins with the booklet "FOR HAP-

PIER FAMILIES,” but as soon as it has finished the booklet it

should join in the Federation Inquiries .
1
The Action Group may

or may not arrive at the same action as the Section, but as long

as it is working on the same Inquiry there is no difficulty. At

times the Section will decide on a large scale action which will

require the help of the Action Groups. In this case the members

will enlist the Action Groups in the project .
2

The Action Group must not be regarded as merely the eyes of

the Section—the fact finding organization. If the Section and
Action Groups are working on the same Inquiry, however, the

section member might very well find out from members of his

Action Group what facts they might have which he could use

at the section meeting.

Since the Action Group is the responsibility of one couple in

the Section that couple should feel a great loyalty to it. Section

members must regard the people in the Action Group as their

first responsibility. All the points that make a good section

*cf. glossary p. 56 .

2
In a parish in which all the section members have Action Groups, each

Action Group can be made responsible for some project of the entire

group, e.g. one Action Group is in charge of newcomers, another of the

baby-sitter service, another of the Cana days, etc.

38



leader apply equally to the section members in relationship to

their Action Groups.

the chaplain and the action group

The chaplain prepares the section meeting and attends it. But

he does not prepare the action group meeting and does not at-

tend every meeting. The leaders of the Action Groups receive all

their preparation in the section meeting. This preparation con-

sists in their having covered the material in some previous sec-

tion meeting.

The chaplain should visit each Action Group at least twice a

year, (oftener if it is at all possible)—in order to make the
people feel that they are part of a recognized parish organization

and to observe how section members conduct a meeting.

Experience has proved that the responsibility of running an

Action Group is the best means of developing real leadership

among the section members. Normally, the interest of the

people in the Section will lag after a few months. If, however,

they take on the responsibility of forming an Action Group they

will either drop out or will become more interested. After the

Section has been meeting for a time it should begin to list and

to contact couples for Action Groups. The ideal situation would

be for each couple to begin meeting with its Action Group im-

mediately upon completion of the booklet "For Happier Fam-

ilies.” In practice this rarely happens. Some couples find it easy

to form an Action Group. Others, who find it more difficult,

may take a longer time.

39



CHAPTER 6

function of the leader

A good Section is one which produces specific actions, has ef-
fective Action Groups; and is making some sort of dent on the

pagan thinking of the neighborhood. A weak Section is produc-
tive of more talk than action, doesn’t have Action Groups, and

makes little or no impression on the people in the neighborhood.

In most cases the difference between a good and bad section lies

with the leader. If the leader understands CFM, and knows

how to conduct meetings, the Section will work well; if, on the

other hand, the leader does not know what he is expected to do

the Section will flounder.

Christian ideas and ideals will be carried to the neighborhood

by members of the Section and the Action Groups. The Action

Group members will be trained by the section members. The

section members will be trained by the leader in the ideas and

techniques of CFM. The leader learns these Christian ideas and

ideals from the priest.

attitude of the leader to the section

In dealing with the Section the leader can adopt various atti-

tudes. He can:

1 ) DOMINATE it by virtue of his personality

40



2 ) DOMINATE it by virtue of what "Father
* says

3 ) DOMINATE it by virtue of his authority as leader

4 ) GUIDE the members to participation, conviction and a

sense of responsibility.

1 ) If his personality DOMINATES the Section, the Section

is doomed to failure. It is expected that all the people in the

Section will, in time, develop into leaders. This will not be ac-

complished if the leader is attempting to impose his will and

ideas on them. They would then depend on him to suggest

actions, to get things done, to shoulder the whole burden instead

of thinking for themselves, acting on their own initiative, and

accepting their share of responsibility.

2 ) If he DOMINATES it by being the mouthpiece for the

chaplain the group will lose its character as an apostolic LAY

group.

At times, while preparing the meeting the priest may be able

to suggest certain actions to the leader. Even in this event, how-

ever, the leader should not come into the meeting and force

these suggestions on the Section. The chaplains suggestions can

be used as a last resort when no one comes up with a practical

action. But even when this is done, the leader should suggest the

action as if it were his own, without mentioning the fact that

the priest had suggested it to him.
1

x

On rare occasions some problem might arise in a parish which the pastor

feels should be handled by the group. In these cases it is best not to hide

a predetermined action under the guise of an Inquiry. The chaplain should

come right out and say, "Here is a job the pastor would like you people

to do.”

41



The chaplains main task, as has been mentioned above, is to

aid the leader to a knowledge and appreciation of the principles

by which he and the Section can make a Christian judgment of a

situation. The people alone make the observations, and under

the guidance of the leader they apply the Christian yardstick to

the observations. Finally, because they actually live in the situa-

tion, they alone are competent to determine what action they

should take to improve it.

3 ) Thirdly, if the leader tries to DOMINATE the group by
virtue of his authority as leader, he will kill it. Most people re-

sent those in authority telling them what to do. If they them-

selves are convinced of the necessity of an action they will act

with alacrity and good will. If they are ordered to do something,

they usually feel a bit of resentment. No one has developed into

a leader by being commanded to be one.

4) It is vitally important that the leader HELP the people

think for themselves. By adroit handling of the meeting he

should help the couples to participate and to acquire conviction

and a sense of responsibility.

EXPERIENCE INDICATES THAT A GOOD LEADER IS

ONE WHO, INSTEAD OF COMMANDING, DRAWS

PEOPLE OUT AND HELPS THEM TO DECIDE TO DO
THE CORRECT THING. The leaders role is to help the

couples think out the great truths of life, express them in their

own words, and apply them to their daily lives. This thinking,

expression, and application is a group process. The Section talks

over various ideas. As each member thinks of ways of expressing

those ideas or of applying them, the other members add, subtract,

or challenge. The result, then, is not the work of one but all the

couples. Hence many points that an individual might miss are

taken into consideration.

In conducting the meeting, the leader must remember that he

is a catalyst, that his aim is to produce a reaction in the other

members. He is not dealing with just a group, but with four or

five couples, with eight or ten people who have individual as

42



well as social needs. It is his job to help each person satisfy

these needs.

the leader develops the members

The leader should be developing the members of the Section

so that they in their turn will become effective leaders of Action

Groups. In order to do this he must look upon each member as

an individual with many good qualities—despite a few bad ones.
He must, therefore, be friendly, courteous, willing to go out of

his way to help members, generous and sincere in his praise of

their efforts.

If he is going to do these things while conducting the meeting,

he SHOULD NOT:

1) Lecture

2) Debate

3 ) Contradict or interrupt

4 ) Discourage the member’s contributions.

43



1) Should not LECTURE: The natural tendency will be

for the leader to tell the people everything he knows. By so

doing, he is denying the people their right to participate in the

discussion and to determine for themselves the goal or action of

the meeting.

The "loaded question” is a form of lecturing. A question with

one or two qualifying clauses which contain the answers is really

no question at all.

2) Should not DEBATE WITH MEMBERS. The leader

must not enter into a debate with a member. He might lose the

argument, thereby damaging his prestige as a leader, or he might

win merely because of the authority he has as leader, and his

effectiveness would suffer just as much. If a disagreement arises,

he should play the role of referee rather than antagonist or pro-

tagonist. A good leader is one who makes sure that both sides

of a question obtain a fair hearing without taking sides. Often he

will have to encourage one side or the other in order to bring

their arguments into the case; but this would not be considered

taking sides.

3) Should not CONTRADICT OR INTERRUPT: People

will often make incorrect statements. The leader should not be

the one to correct them directly. Suppose some person says that

all the people in his building are friendly, whereas the leader

knows that certain families do not speak to each other. It would

be bad tactics for him to say, "Tom, I don’t agree that the people

in your building are friendly.” He would then have taken a

stand against Tom, thereby jeopardizing his true position as a

leader. The leader must always have a long range view in mind.

Tom has made an incorrect statement. That is not too important

in itself. If, by letting it ride, he is developing Tom’s self assur-

ance and independent thinking, he will, in the long run, accom-

plish more.

When someone is talking at too great length or off the point,2

2

For example when a woman goes off on a long story of a personal act of

service, she will tell how she met Mrs. Jones in the bakery shop, what Mrs.

Jones was buying, who else was in the store, what the store keeper said,

and finally get down to reporting that she carried Mrs. Jones’ cake home

for her. Sometimes, too, a person gets off the subject. In the middle of the

44



the natural tendency is to cut the person off. Such a tactic is

bound to cause hurt feelings. The best thing to do in these cases

is to let the group discipline the offender. After a while most

people will realize that the meeting is important enough to be

kept concise and to the point. When they arrive home the hus-

band or wife usually will correct the one who was out of order.

It is the leader, however, who is responsible for the morale

of the meeting. After the couples have been meeting for a time

and their shyness in each others presence has worn off, the leader

himself will be able to keep people on the subject and conscious

of the limitations of time. When either one of the leader couple

is the guilty party, the other can jokingly correct him or her; and

if, later, someone else does the same thing, the same joking man-

ner will minimize any sting. But in all cases the leader must be

kind and diplomatic. In doubtful cases silence is safer.

4) Should not DISCOURAGE THE MEMBER’S CONTRI-

BUTION: Some leaders make the Inquiries a guessing game.

The members are expected to guess the answers arrived at by the

leader and the chaplain.

The aim of the Inquiry is to engender convictions in the minds

of each member. This aim is utterly defeated if the member

suspects that the answers are predetermined, that he is expected

not to contribute but merely to agree. The precise value of an

Inquiry is that it leads the individual to discover a truth for him-

self instead of having it handed to him by someone else.

make the meeting productive

In order to have a good meeting certain formalities ought to

be observed. These are outlined in the booklet, "For Happier

Families." The meeting should start on time. Too much time

should not be given to any one part. The couples should prepare

the meeting at home. Reports should be short. The leader should

be exact in keeping to these formalities, but he must have great

Gospel someone may say, "I know that this is not too much to the point;

but a friend of mine at the office is going out with a girl who was a

Catholic but married a fellow in a hurry just before he sailed overseas.

What can be done for them?”

45



patience with people who don’t. The feelings of a person are

more important than the formalities of a meeting.

The leader must not allow the meeting to drift aimlessly. He

must make sure that everyone contributes his knowledge to the

meeting. There will be people who are too quiet; therefore, he

should be careful to address to these people questions which they

will be able to answer, in order to help them overcome their shy-

ness. Some will be too loquacious. Instead of calling on such a

person first for a report or for observations, the leader might

call on him last. If a person is not very interested, the leader

might assign to him some definite responsibility. In order to be

able to do this the leader and the chaplain must know every

member of the Section, and should discuss ahead of time the

approach to each.

hints for a good discussion

A group of people talking to the leader or through the leader
will not have a good discussion. This sort of thing belongs, if

anywhere, in the class-room. The leader’s efforts should be to

have the people, without his prompting, discuss, amend, and

correct ideas presented in the group. He can sit back, note

46



various important ideas, and summarize what has been discussed

and agreed upon in the group.

He will have to ask questions to start the discussion. The ques-

tions he uses will be found in "FOR HAPPIER FAMILIES” and

in the Inquiry Bulletin, but these questions are not to be fol-

lowed slavishly. These are starting points for discussion. For

example, in the Liturgy section of "FOR HAPPIER FAMILIES”

there is the question, "What are the gifts of piety, counsel, forti-

tude and fear of the Lord?” The leader can ask the question and

then sit back and wait for the answer. When it does not come,

instead of asking again or giving up he should try a new tack:

"Do you think piety means going to Church or saying extra

prayers each day? What qualities of the saints showed their

piety? Is piety just a womans virtue?” There are any number

of questions he might ask. Suppose good discussion arises on the

real meaning of piety. The leader should not break it off and try

to get the couples to define fortitude. He should keep the dis-

cussion going. Perhaps he will never finish the questions in the

book. No matter; the people will have been thinking on a pro-

found Christian truth and will have been developing instead of

reciting their lessons as they would do in the presence of a

teacher. Questions should be simple and to the point.

The leader should encourage the people to back up their

answers with reasons, especially in cases in which they have

given stock answers without realizing what those answers mean.

In other words he must assist them to take their answers apart

and see why they answered as they did. Then they must put all

the answers together in order to see the whole picture. Learning

to do this takes a long time. The chaplain should not become

discouraged if the people do not pick it up quickly.

light touch needed

Very often the light touch is needed to make a discussion

interesting. A joke, a "wise crack,” some banter—far from
hurting a meeting, frequently help it along. THE PEOPLE

MUST ENJOY COMING TO THE MEETINGS—must enjoy

discussions. If the discussions are always on a lofty, serious

47



plane, interest will lag, and the men will fall asleep. As long

as no one ’’clowns’' throughout the entire meeting the leader

and chaplain should welcome the light touch.

ten points for a good meeting

Donald Phillips, president of Hillside College, Hillside,

Michigan lists ten points which improve communication be-

tween the leader and the members of a section.
3

1. The section member needs a SENSE OF BELONGING

a. A feeling that no one objects to his presence

b. A feeling that he is sincerely welcome

c. A feeling that he is sincerely needed for his total self
and not just for his hands, his money, etc.

A lone, individual is a destroyer of values. Most men when they

feel out of place in a group will try to assert their importance

by arguing, fighting, being against what everyone else is for.

Others will take refuge in silence and they contribute nothing to

the group—except an occasional criticism. A man will try to
protect his importance and dignity any way he can when he feels

he is being slighted. The leader must therefore be convinced that

he needs every single person in the section to make it a success,

and, what is more, he must convey to all members this convic-

tion of their importance.

2) He needs to have a SHARE IN PLANNING THE

GOALS OF THE GROUP. He will be satisfied only when he

feels that his ideas have had a fair hearing.

3 ) He needs to feel that the GOALS ARE IN REACH AND
THAT THEY MAKE SENSE TO HIM.

4) He needs to feel that what he is doing CONTRIBUTES

TO HUMAN WELFARE—in other words that what he is do-
ing is important, and, even though not spectacular, worthwhile.

3

The seating arrangement can be a big help to the leader. All the people

should be seated so that they can easily see the leader and all other mem-

bers of the group. At times this is very difficult in a small living room. In

this case the leader should pay special attention to those who are out of his

line of vision, lest they drop out of the conversation.

48



5 ) He needs to SHARE in making the RULES under which

the group operates.

6) He needs to know in some clear detail WHAT IS EX-
PECTED OF HIM, so that he can work confidently. The leader

should know the capabilities of each person in the group, should

see to it that no person is given more than he can do, and make

certain that each person knows clearly what he is supposed to do.

7 ) He needs to have RESPONSIBILITIES WHICH CHAL-
LENGE, which are within reach of his abilities, and which con-

tribute to the attaining the common objective.

8) He needs to SEE THAT PROGRESS IS BEING MADE
TOWARD THE GOAL SET.

9) He needs to be kept informed. What a person is not UP

on, he may be DOWN on.

10) He needs to have CONFIDENCE in the leader.

In brief he needs at any given time to conclude: "THIS SITU-

ATION MAKES SENSE TO ME!”

what did Christ do?

This entire section can be summed up very briefly. "We are

trying to influence people for good as Christ did, and to help

them to follow His methods of leadership.” Christ never blus-

tered or dominated a group by His authority. He very seldom

reproved anyone. In fact, when He grew angry it was only

with people who were deliberately trying to lead others into sin.

Patience and meekness were His trade mark. Everyone who

approached Christ, whether adulteress or saint, was treated by

Him as a person of dignity and worth. Christ instantly estab-

lished the common ground on which everyone could meet Him.

With fishermen He talked of the sea and fish, with farmers He

talked of the fields. They did not have to meet Him on His

ground; He met them on their ground, and quickly won their

hearts.

Christ listened to them. Even when He rebuked the Apostles,

He did so gently and only after they had missed the point of His

teachings for three years. A leader can do no better than read

49



the life of Christ, underline every passage which show Christ

instructing people, and use those passages for his meditation.

One further point: The people in Action Groups will learn

something of the CFM technique from their leaders who are in

the Section. The people in the Section will learn it from the

leader of the Section. The leader of the Section will learn it

from the chaplain. In no case can it be taught by words. It is

only learned by imitation. Therefore
,
this chapter might be re-

read with the word "Chaplain” being substituted for "leader,”

and "leader” for "section member.”

50



CHAPTER 7

the wide view

the parish

Since CFM is trying to establish the ideal Christian commu-

nity the logical starting place is the parish, with its variety of

people and problems. A parish is large enough to encompass a

good cross section of people, and yet small enough to provide a

practical field of operations. The inspiration of CFM must of

necessity come from the Church, and the graces to take part in

the apostolate must come from the altar. Therefore, there seems

to be no doubt that the best grouping is along strictly parochial

lines. Inter-parochial groups have been frustrated in their efforts

to deal with problems because of differing circumstances in the

different parishes. Such groups have had the great disadvantage

of being spread out too thinly over too large an area.

The field of operation for a parish priest, is of course, the

parish to which he has been assigned by the Bishop. It would be

incongruous if he were to be chaplain of a group composed of

couples which were not members of his parish.

the diocesan federation

Unless the chaplain is on his guard there is a danger that a

51



CFM group will take too narrow a view of the work to be done.

At first the couples will tend to concern themselves only with

problems directly connected with their own homes and families.

If the Inquiry, for example, is on teen agers, and no one in the

group has any teen age children the couples may want to omit

this particular Inquiry even though hundreds of teen age child-

ren live in the parish. Later, as their view of the apostolate

broadens they will see the need for working on problems which

they find in their own parish, but may not realize their obliga-

tion to deal with those which are more pressing in other parts

of the community. For example, if the parish is in a section of

the city which has adequate housing, the group may not under-

stand why it should be concerned with an Inquiry on housing.

The couples must be trained, however, to think in terms of the

entire Church, to realize that the Mystical Body is not made up

of members of one parish alone, but of people throughout the

world.

One of the chief means for bringing about this broader view

52



of the apostolate is the Diocesan Federation. Such a Federation

is necessary TO COORDINATE THE ACTIVITIES of all the

sections in attacking common problems, TO PROMOTE UNI-

TY AMONG THE GROUPS, and TO ACT AS SPOKESMAN
PRESENTING THE FAMILY POINT OF VIEW. A Federa-

tion will be formed only after several Sections are operating in

a diocese.

The Federation, therefore, gathers information from all over

the diocese and makes up Social Inquiries. Because every Social

Inquiry will not affect each parish Section in the same way, the

chaplain and the leader will have to work over the Inquiries to

make them fit the situation as found in a particular parish. The

mere fact that the Inquiry as printed is not apropos does not

mean that it should be discarded. For example, in an Inquiry on

housing one Section may be looking for apartments, another may

be trying to find rooms for people, a third may be taking action

against landlords who are illegally breaking apartments into

small kitchenettes. All Sections are working on housing at the

same time, but each is attacking that phase of the problem which

is most apparent in its own parish. Perhaps one Section will

think of an action which all the Sections in a diocese can do, or

of an action which can be set up on a permanent basis—e.g.
rental service. But even if no such project develops, the mere

fact that Sections all over the city are active in the same field

will have an overall effect on the total environment.

What, then, does a Section do about purely local problems i.e.

problems which are not the subject of a general Inquiry? Ob-

viously the group can not ignore a problem such as the selling

of liquor to minors. On the other hand it must not devote so

much time to such a problem as to lose contact with the program

of the Federation. As a matter of fact, action on such local prob-

lems can usually be decided upon at one meeting. Perhaps one

person will be put in charge of seeing to it that the action is

carried out, and it will be up to him to report on the progress he

is making or to ask for help as he needs it.

federation activities

All the members of CFM whether in a Section or Action

53



Group, should attend Federation activities, because they will

then see how many people are active in CFM and will acquire a
sense of solidarity with other groups—a realization that hun-

dreds of couples are interested in working on the same problems

as they. These Federation activities are mainly study days and

evenings of recollection.

The officers and regional representatives
1
also hold regular

monthly or bi-monthly meetings to coordinate the activities of

the groups and to discuss such things as Inquiries, the expansion

of the movement, etc. The Federation publishes bulletins and

pamphlets to educate and inform the membership. The finances

necessary to maintain the Federation come from the dues of the

members.

At present, cities which have CFM groups, whether they have

a Federation or not, have formed a coordinating committee

which plans a yearly convention, publishes a bi-monthly paper,

"ACT,” and outlines in more or less detail the subjects which all

the groups in the country will use for their Inquiries .
2

1When a Federation has so many sections that the officers can not easily

keep in contact with the various section leaders, regional groups of six or

seven Sections should be established. In Chicago there are eight of these

regions. The regional representative is the contact between the Section and

the Federation.
2

For complete information on this committee write the Christian Family

Movement, Room 1808, 100 W. Monroe, Chicago 3, Illinois.

54



conclusion

A chaplain who is beginning the Christian Family Movement

in his parish will find that he has many problems arising from

the fact that CFM is new. This book has attempted to show how

it works, but there are still many questions a new chaplain would

like to ask, and there are many points an older chaplain would

like to discuss. Hence the chaplains should meet regularly to dis-

cuss points of technique, problems of spiritual formation, and

the application of dogma to the Family Apostolate.

The people can only progress in the apostolate as fast and

as far as their chaplain. Even though he must learn to allow

them to solve their own problems, even though he must keep

quiet at the meeting, even though he must give them great re-

sponsibility in the work of saving souls, he is the heart of the

movement. THE CHAPLAIN must train the leaders, THE

CHAPLAIN must inspire and encourage them. THE CHAP-

LAIN must have the vision to give them.

55



glossary

THE MEETING:

Opening prayer.

1 ) REPORTS: Each couple tells whether or not they perform-

ed the action decided on in the Social Inquiry and Gospel dis-

cussion of last meeting. (10 Minutes)

2) GOSPEL DISCUSSION: A Passage of Scripture is read
and discussed and a practical application drawn from it. (15

Minutes)

3 ) LITURGY : Some phase of Christian doctrine is discussed.

(15 Minutes)

4) THE SOCIAL INQUIRY : A situation in the community is
OBSERVED, JUDGED, and ACTED UPON. (30-40 Minutes)

5 ) TALK BY CHAPLAIN: A five minute talk is given by the
chaplain followed by the closing prayer and chaplain’s blessing.

FOR HAPPIER FAMILIES (The Yellow Book)

A workbook for new groups, containing the first 13 meetings

and an explanation of CFM.

INQUIRY BULLETIN: A Bulletin which comes out twice a

year containing the program of the meetings for six months.

FEDERATION: The union of all the Sections in a city under

a common group of officers.

SECTION: Five to seven couples in a parish who meet with

the chaplain every two weeks and follow the outlined meetings.

ACTION GROUPS: A group of five to seven couples who
meet regularly with a section couple and follow the outlined

meetings.

THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY MOVEMENT (CFM) (Called
Christian Family Action (CFA) in Chicago). An organization

of couples devoted to christianizing family life in a neighbor-

hood.

56