THE SPLEND[OR OF GOOD MANNERS





THE

SPLENDOR

OF

GOOD MANNERS

Prepared by a Committee of Sisters of

The Third Order of St. Francis of the Perpetual Adoration

under the direction of

His Excellency, the Most Rev. Alexander J. McGavick, D. D.

for the

Youth of the Diocese of La Crosse





FOREWORD

The Splendor of Good Manners should help to make

smoother and therefore easier the road to success, in

life for all who devote to it careful reading and practice

it unfailingly.

In those who would propagate the Christ-life by good

example it will be such an ornament to the Christ-way

of living that even on their human side Christlike acts

will have a grace and beauty that will make them all

the more agreeable and instructive to others. It will

therefore be an aid to success for everyone in either the

secular or spiritual sphere, whether serving man or

God. V

I expect to donate a copy of The Splendor of Good

Manners each year to the Seniors in all diocesan and

parish high schools of the diocese of La Crosse, and

with each copy I send in advance to all such students

the assurance of my good wishes for their success in

this life and in eternity. May I ask the favor of even

one brief prayer for those who in time to come may

profit by this book. I express my gratitude to the

Sisters of St. Rose Convent by whom it was prepared.

Sincerely in Christ,

fy
Bishop of La Crosse

Feast of Chair of St. Peter, 1944



First edition, 1944—5,000
Second edition, 1946—5,000



TABLE OF CONTENTS

Good Manners in Church - - - -

Good Manners at Home - . - -

Good Manners at Table - - - _

Good Manners at School - - - .

Good Manners at Wodk - - . .

Good Manners in Dress and Grooming

Good Manners at Recreation - - -

Good Manners in Public Places

Good Manners in Contacts - - .

Miscellaneous Good Manners - - -

Good Morals and Good Manners



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GOOD MANNERS IN CHURCH

THE CHURCH IS GOD’S HOUSE. It

is dedicated to Him. He may be said in

a certain sense to hold title to it. Our

Lord Himself called it “a house of

prayer.” When you enter a church,

therefore, good manners in highest form

should always prevail.

Above all, be neat in your personal

appearance. Have your hands, face, and

fingernails clean and your hair combed.

As you approach the outside door of

the church, all conversation should

cease. A man should remove his hat;
a lady should be sure that her head

covered. Take holy water with your

right hand and reverently bless yourself.

Be conscious of making the intention

of doing all in the name of the Father

and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

As you bless yourself with the right hand, make the

complete Sign of the Cross, touching your forehead,

breast, and shoulders.

Proceed down the aisle, looking toward the taber-

nacle and not gazing about the church. Make a genu-

flection, which is a greeting to your God in the taber-

nacle. Be sure that your right knee touches the floor

and that you look at the tabernacle as you greet Him.



Unless you have a definitely assigned place in a pew,

never kneel at the end of the seat and make others

climb over you. On entering your pew, always kneel

in adoration. Never enter a pew and immediately sit

down. If a considerable time elapses before the begin-

ning of church services, you may sit down after awhile

;

but never sit in such a way that you are a hindrance or

a nuisance to those behind you who may wish to kneel

and pray. Kneel erect on both knees
;
never assume a

half-kneeling, half-sitting posture. When you sit

down, do not sprawl over the seat or hang your arms

over the seat behind you or cross your knees. Sit

erect; you are in the presence of our Lord.

Be in church before the priest comes into the sanctu-

ary. Do not leave the church at the end of the last

Gospel. Wait until the priest has entered the sacristy

SINCE YOU GO TO CHURCH TO PRAY, join in all
prayers that are said in common and in all congrega-

tional singing. The hymns sung in church are prayers

;

therefore, add your voice in prayerful song to God. It

is a commendable practice to use the missal when

assisting at Mass. Assisting at Mass is the grandest,

the most important thing you can do. The Catholic

will look upon participation in the Sunday Mass as an

appointment with God and will never fail to keep it.

As Cardinal Newman once expressed it

:

To me nothing is so consoling, so piercing,
so thrilling, so overcoming as the Mass. I could

attend Masses forever and not get tired. It is

not a mere form of words
;
it is a great action,

the greatest action that <^n be on earth.

The life of every Catholic should be spent as far as

possible within the radius of the sweet, penetrating,

10



and sanctifying influence of the Mass. In whatever

way you assist at Mass or other church services, re-

member that you are there to pray. These are precious

moments in your life. By your prayers you get graces

from God to ovecome temptations now and in future

years. Do not talk in church except to God. Do not

mumble your private prayers to the distraction of those

around you. Never stare around in church or look

into the choir loft or at anyone or anything behind

you. Keep your eyes and your mind on Christ in the

tabernacle.

AVOID MAKING ANY SOUND IN CHURCH,
ESPECIALLY DURING A SERMON. If you must
blow your nose, do so quietly. If you must cough, both

health and courtesy demand that you cough as quietly

as possible into your handkerchief.

WHEN GOING TO HOLY COMMUNION, proceed
up the aisle with your hands clasped, your head erect,

and with your eyes modestly lowered. You then genu-

flect and take your place at the railing. In receiving

Holy Communion, you should have your eyes closed.

Raise your head just a trifle, open your mouth, and

extend your tongue over the lower lip. When a Bishop

distributes Holy Communion, he first presents his ring

for you to kiss before he places the Sacred Host on your

tongue. After the one next to you has received Holy

Communion, rise from the altar railing and, without

a genuflection, proceed slowly to your place, with eyes

reverently lowered and hands clasped. As you get to

your pew, kneel, and close your eyes in order to avoid

possible distractions at this sacred time. The most

precious minutes in your life are those when Christ is

present in your heart in Holy Communion. Get the

11



full value of this time. Spend some minutes after Mass

in thanksgiving. Reverence also requires that, when-

ever you intend to receive Holy Communion before

Mass, you devote at least ten minutes to preparation.

If you have not received Holy Communion, do not

kneel at the end of the pew and make those returning

climb over you. Quietly move into the pew or rise and

step into the aisle to allow those returning to get to.

their places. When you move from your place in a

pew, do not push yourself along, but rise and walk

farther into the pew. You have a good chance to make

a fervent spiritual communion, knowing that Christ is

in the person near you who has just returned from re-

ceiving Holy Communion.

SERVING AT THE ALTAR or SINGING IN THE

CHOIR is a privilege. Show by your conduct that you

realize it. When you are to assist as a server or a

singer, be in time, be reliable and reverent.

MAKING VISITS TO OUR LORD is a laudable habit

to cultivate. Calling on Christ in the tabernacle during

the day assures our Lord of your loyalty and devotion.

WHEN GOING TO CONFESSION, be careful never
to talk or distract others who are receiving the same

sacrament. Do not kneel so close, to the confessional

that you can hear what the penitent or the confessor

says. Wait your turn, and never be so ill-mannered

as to step ahead of someone who has been there before

you. After confession, go to a pew by yourself. Say

the penance devoutly, thank Gk»d for His forgiveness

of your sins, and renew your promise to be more faith-

ful to Him.

12



GOOD MANNERS IN THE HOME

SACRIFICE IS THE KEYNOTE TO HAPPINESS
IN THE HOME. True courtesy, which flowers from
charity should begin in the home. All the factors for

its full exercise are present there under the most

favorable circumstances. The danger, however, lies in

the close and affectionate intimacy which home life

provides. As a result, you are apt to reserve the little

niceties of life for those outside the family circle. You

forget that the force of well-mannered habits acquired

in the home can be and should be carried beyond it.

So, do your part to make your home the happiest,

brightest and most restful place in the world. Culti-

vate a cheerful spirit while in the house. Father

Daniel A. : Lord says, “A cheerful home is a happy

home.” Practice smiling at home. A smile goes a
long way.

Smile—on the fa-
miliar faces of

your family and

;
' friends

;

. :
Let „all enjoy the

. beauty and in-

spiring cheer of

your smiling
1 : face;

BEGIN THE DAY
WELL; As soon as you

13



are awakened in the moniing, give your heart to God.

Arise immediately. Make the Sign of the Cross, by

which you consecrate the day’s work to the Blessed

Trinity. Do not fail to say your morning prayers

and to ask God’s blessing on the day’s work. Greet

the members of your family with a cheerful “Good

morning.”

Be considerate of others and do not monopolize the

bathroom. Take a brisk bath, give attention to your

teeth, hair, and fingernails. Leave the bathroom neat

and clean for the next occupant.

BE LOYAL TO YOUR PARENTS, BROTHERS,
AND SISTERS. Do not repeat family affairs outside
the home or in the presence of visitors. Do not criti-

cize your home or family to outsiders or permit others

to do so. Uncalled-^for criticisms cause friction. If

you are asked to criticize, do so discreetly. Do not

contradict, argue, or dispute with the members of your

family, especially not in the presence of strangers.

14



Do not answer in bitter, wounding words. Control your

temper at home.

Use “Please,” “Thank you,” “I beg your pardon,”

generously. These courteous expressions belong first

and foremost in the home. At all times and every-

where speak in a quiet, calm tone of voice. Introduce

your family to your friends, and your friends to your

family. Present your parents first when introductions

are made.

When your parents, grandparents, or guests enter

the room, rise and offer them chairs. Remain standing

until they are seated. Offer the most comfortable

chair to the most distinguished person present. Do

not offer the chair on which you have been sitting,

unless it is the only vacant one or the most comfort-

able one in the room.

RESPECT THE PERSONAL RIGHTS OF YOUR
PARENTS, brothers, and sisters. This means that

you do not read their mail or handle their personal

property without their permission. Do not borrow

others’ property or take it without the owner’s wishes.

Do not enter the private rooms of others without

knocking. Respect their desire for privacy.

Remember that in serving others you serve Christ

Himself; hence, when occasion offers, do your share

to help entertain any of the family’s guests. Show

your parents that you enjoy their company. Stay at

home in order to give them also an opportunity for

outside diversion.

CULTIVATE THE BEAUTIFUL FAMILY SPIRIT
OF RECOGNIZING SPECIAL ANNIVERSARIES,

birthdays, and namedays of parents, brothers, sistets.

15



and grandparents. Greet them with such words as,

“Happy birthday, mother,” “Happy nameday, father.”

Remember them with a small gift, a spiritual bouquet,

or a greeting card. Have a family feast on Mother’s

Day and Father’s Day.

WHEN YOU LEAVE HOME, BID YOUR MOTHER
“GOODBYE.” Tell her where you are going and when

she may expect you to return. Be at home at a respect-

able hour at night. If you cannot be at home at the

stated time, telephone your mother so she need not

worry. Come in quietly if you are late.

; Before retiring, give father, mother, and others

present a cheerful “Good night.” Many families have

the beautiful custom of kissing mother and father

when leaving home and on retiring.

HELP TO MAKE YOUR HOME AN ATTRACTIVE
and pleasant place in which to live. Cheerfully share

the responsibilities of the homework, such as cleaning

or caring for your clothes. . Hang your clothes in their

proper place. Take care of your own room. When

mother’s work becomes burdensome, show a willingness

to help her. Offer to do extra work and to run errands

for mother and father. Shoulder some of the responsi-

bility of caring for your younger brothers and sisters.

Be patient and kind.to them.

Consider the comfort and happiness of your father.

Show your mother every affection and gratitude. These

are easy to give and pleasant to receive. Be kind and

considerate to mother’s friends. . . , .

;Do; not disturb others while they are reading. Be

careful not to interrupt others who are speaking. Do

not pass in front of nnyone without excusing yourself.

16



A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION IS ONE OCCA-
SION when your voice stands for all that is you. When

telephoning, use a pleasant tone of voice and speak

slowly, politely, and distinctly. Frequently the home

telephone is so located that the person may disturb

naps, important conversations, or impose silence on

the entire family. Do not inconvenience the family by

lengthy and frequent telephone conversations. Avoid

night calls, mealtime calls, and early morning calls un-

less these are very necessary. Answer the telephone for

mother and save her these steps. When answering

the phone for another, note down necessary details of

the message. Be courteous and considerate to the

operator. A telephone conversation should never be
opened with, “Who is this?” Ask for the person you

want or say, “Is this Miss Gray?” It is childish to

say, “Guess who this is.” Play no guessing games

over the telephone.

BE COURTEOUS AND CONSIDERATE IN THE
USE OF YOUR RADIO, An unselfish boy or girl will
give father, mother, or any older member of the familj^

17



first choice of radio programs. Be considerate also

of your neighbors who are within hearing distance and

who may not be interested in your program.

BE KIND AND CONSIDERATE TO THE SERV-
ANTS IN YOUR HOME. Do not call them from their
household duties to wait on you. If you have a rea-

sonable request, put it courteously, not demandingly.

Greet the maid with a pleasant “Good morning” when

she serves you at breakfast. The maid will serve you

more cheerfully and willingly if you use “Please” and

“Thank you.”

18



GOOD MANNERS AT TABLE

THERE IS NO PLACE WHERE GENTLE BREED-
ING IS SO SURELY REVEALED AS AT TABLE.
Certain rules of table etiquette, based upon kindly

consideration of others, have been established. These

should be learned and practiced daily at home so as to

become a part of your personality. Table manners

cannot be put on for the occasion. Nothing so quickly

reveals the home background of a person as his behavior

at table. Learn to eat food without attracting atten-

tion and without in any way being rude or repulsive

to others at table.

THE FIRST REQUIREMENT OF GOOD TABLE
MANNERS IS PUNCTUALITY. It is an essential
quality in a cook, and it should be that of a guest also.

To be tardy, especially at mealtime, is an act of selfish-

ness, for it inconveniences the person who planned the

meal. Guests should arrive five or ten minutes before

the hour set for dinner. No hostess need wait longer

than twenty minutes for tardy guests.

19



AT A FORMAL
DINNER, the host es-

corts the lady guest

of honor to her place

at table. The man who

is the guest of honor

escorts the hostess to

the table and takes his

place at her right. The

other guests follow.

Unless there are place

cards, the men take

their places to the left

of the ladies with

whom they enter the

dining room. Gentle-

men help the ladies to

be seated first. Each

man assists the lady

to his right. He stands directly behind the woman’s

chair, pulls it out slightly and easily, and quickly

pushes the chair forward as the woman is being seated.

Although his conversation and attention should be

directed to the lady to his right, courtesy would prompt

him to include the lady at his left, should he notice that

she is being neglected. At an informal dinner when,

perhaps guests are seated haphazardly, gentlemen

make themselves helpful to those seated near them.

After you have entered the dining room, wait for

the hostess to be seated; then slip into your place from

the left. Sit erect, quiet, and at ease. Keep your hands

in your lap, and your elbows close to your body.

20



AT THE FAMILY DINNER AT HOME, when there
are no guests present, men or boys should be attentive

in the same way to members of the family and assist

their mothers and sisters to be seated. Men and boys

never take their seats at table until all women are

seated.

IN THE SCHOOL DINING HALL, every propriety

of table etiquette should be observed. Take your place

quietly and quickly. Never stop in conversation with

some friends at another table. While waiting to be

served, do not play with the silverware or dishes.

Never touch any food or table appointments.

IN THE CAFETERIA, keep in line and follow in

your turn. It is courteous to insist that teachers and

guests go ahead of you. Make your choice of food

promptly and do not keep others waiting.

GRACE SHOULD BE SAID BEFORE AND AFTER
MEALS IN EVERY CATHOLIC HOME. ‘ In your own
home, where breakfast may be served at different

times to various members of the family, say your

prayers privately. When the family eats together,

prayers should be said in common. Reverence to God,

as well as ordinary courtesy, demands that you take

a reverent posture, stand erect, and clasp your hands.

If a priest is a guest at dinner in your home, it is

proper for the hostess to ask him to say grace : “Father,

please, will you say grace?” When dining in a public

hotel or restaurant, do not omit grace, but say it

unobserved and to yourself.

YOU WILL FIND YOUR NAPKIN LYING ON
YOUR PLATE or to the left of it. Pick it up with
your left hand when the hostess does so. Unfold the

21



average -sized nap-

kin only part way

on your lap. Never

use it for a bib
;
only

very small children

may do this. In us-

ing the napkin, lift

only the corner and

touch your lips

slightly. Use it be-

fore taking a drink

of water and when

your lips are greasy and wet, in order to avoid leaving

any grease mark on the glass rim. When all have

finished and the hostess folds her napkin, fold yours.

Do not lift it above the table but fold it inconspicuously

and lay it at the left of 3^ur place. If you are a guest

for only one meal, leave it partly unfolded.

CHEERFUL CONVERSATION MAKES A SUC-
CESSFUL MEAL. It is part of your obligation to

contribute your share to the table conversation. Avoid

talking about personal matters that probably will not

interest others. Also avoid speaking of unpleasant

topics
;
such as operations, serious accidents, dental

work, insects, or anything disagreeable. Omit topics

that might cause irritation and dissension. Be a good

listener.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT PIECE OF SILVER is not
difficult if. the table is set correctly. The sequence for

all knives, forks, and spoons is from the outside in

toward the plate in the order in which they are to be

used, with the exception of the dinner knife and fork.

22



IN CUTTING FOOD, the knife and fork are always

held the same way—the knife in the right hand, the
fork in the left, tines down. Grasp the handle firmly

and naturally. Do not hold the fork and saw the

knife against it. Hold the knife and fork so that the

handles are concealed in the palms of the hands. The

under finger extends lengthwise along the back of the

handle, to steady and guide the knife and fork. Keep

your elbows close to your body.

Cut two or three bites of meat at a time
;
then trans-

fer the fork to the right hand and raise the food to

your mouth with tines of the fork up. It is also correct

to cut the meat as mentioned above and then, instead

of transferring the fork to the right hand, keep it

in the left and convey the piece of meat to the mouth

with the prongs of the fork turned down. Do not pile

food onto the tines with the knife.

USE A KNIFE ONLY FOR FOODS THAT CAN-
NOT BE CUT WITH A FORK, and a spoon only for

/

23



foods too soft to be eaten with a fork. Do not hold a

filled fork in mid-air while talking. When not in use,

the knife and fork should be placed across the rim of

the plate. Never place them gangplank fashion, half

on the table and half on the plate.

Take the spoon in your right hand when conveying

food to your mouth. All foods eaten with a spoon are

taken by moving the spoon in the dish towards you,

except soup, which is taken by moving the spoon away

from you. Never heap the spoon. Whatever food you

have on the spoon, take entirely when you put the

spoon into your mouth.

WHEN YOU ARE ASKED TO PASS FOOD, place
the serving silver in the dish and pass it, with the

handle convenient, to the one to your right. If the

hostess says, “Help yourself to the butter and pass it,”

you help yourself first and then pass it.

If a general dish is passed to you, help yourself

without arguing about who should take some first.

Always take the piece of food nearest to you; and if

once you touch the food, take it even if you did not

intend to.

When you pass a dish, keep your thumb on the edge

of the dish and away from the food. In passing a dish

with a handle, turn the handle toward the person to

whom it is being passed.

IF THE HOSTESS ASKS YOU TO EXPRESS

CHOICE OF FOOD, do so; otherwise, take what is

served. Do not refuse a course even if you do not

24



care for it; rather take a small portion and try to

eat some of it.

Courses

COCKTAIL. Grapefruit and fruit cocktails are

eaten with a spoon. Oysters, clam, and shrimp cock-

tails are eaten with an oyster fork. Canapes served

before the meal are eaten with the fingers; at table,

they are eaten with a fork, like other hors d’oeuvres.

SOUP. In taking soup from the dish, move the spoon

away from you. Do not fill it to the

brim. Raise the spoon to your lips,

and take the soup from the side of

it without making the slightest

noise. Do not tilt the dish to get

the last drop.

Croutons, if served, are usually in /j

the soup. If they are not, put them

in with a spoon, not with your fingers,

crackers are served, take a small share with your

spoon and put them into the soup.

If oyster

Bouillon, broth, and soup served in a cup are eaten

partly with a spoon; the remainder, if the cup has a

handle (or handles), is drunk, like tea or coffee.

When you have finished the course, do not push the

empty plate or glass away from you, but allow it to

remain until it is removed.

MAIN COURSE. When you are serving yourself

from a dish, hold the dish in your left hand and help

yourself with the tablespoon in your right hand. Pass

a dish to another with your right hand, leaving the

25



silverware on the right side of the dish. If you do

not care for a particular food, at least take a very

small helping so as not to embarrass the hostess.

When you are served by the hostess, do not refuse

any food that she has prepared. If you do not care

for a dish, you might say, “Just a little, please.” Never

say, “I like it, but it doesn’t like me”; “It hurts my

teeth”; ‘The doctor forbids it.”

When in doubt as to what to do at table, observe the

hostess. Never begin a course until she begins to eat

the course. Make yourself pleasantly and quietly

sociable during the meal; neither monopolize the con-

versation nor play the silent partner. Be observant

of the progress of the meal so that you will not finish

your course before or after the other guests. Eat

whatever food is on your plate, but never use a piece

of bread to clean the plate.

Never stack your plate with food. Take a small

portion
;
if you wish for more, take another helping.

If you must leave before the others have finished,

ask to be excused.

DESSERTS. Most desserts are eaten with a spoon,

but often a fork or a spoon may be used according to

preference. Ices, puddings, custards, berries, melons,

and preserves are eaten with a spoon. Frozen pud-

dings, watermelon, pies, and pastries are eaten with

a fork. Ice cream may be eaten with a fork or a spoon.

Brick ice cream is usually eaten with a fork. Soft

cakes are eaten with a fork. Cake that does not soil

the fingers is eaten like bread. Break a small piece

and convey it to the mouth with your fingers.

26



Management of Different Foods

OLIVES. Take an olive from the olive dish with

your fingers, but be very careful not to touch the others

in doing so. Do not put the whole olive into your

muth; bite off small pieces. Take the stone from the

mouth with your thumb and first finger and lay it on

your plate. Never eject anything from your mouth to

the plate.

CELERY. Celery is eaten from your fingers. If it

is quite long, you may break it into pieces two or

three inches in length as you eat it. Never dip celery

into a common salt-cellar; you may dip it directly

into an individual one.

RADISHES. Take with your fingers and place on

your plate. Never put the whole radish into your

mouth; eat it in portions.

BREAD AND BUTTER. Frequently, butter is not
served at dinner. At a formal dinner, you will find a

bread and butter plate at your place, with a butter

knife resting on it. Take a piece of bread or a roll

from the common bread plate and place it on youi;

bread plate. If an individual bread plate is not fur-

nished, place the bread on your own plate. If the

bread or roll is dry, you may lay it on the table near

your plate. Place the butter on the edge of your dinner

plate. Use the butter knife to take butter. If none is

provided, use your unused knife to take butter from

the common dish. The proper way to eat bread or a

roll is to break a small piece, spread a bit of butter

on it, and with your fingers convey it to your mouth.

Never butter a whole slice of bread or a roll. Break

27



off one small portion and butter it as you wish to

eat it.

Butter, jelly, and jam are spread on bread or a roll

with a knife
;
on any other food, use a fork.

CHEESE. Dairy cheeses are usually cut in small

pieces when the dish is passed to you. Take a piece

with your fingers; place it on your plate and eat it

with a fork. Edam cheese is passed with a spoon so

that you can scoop a small portion. Camembert cheese

is always spread with a knife. If it is eaten with bread

or a cracker, take a small piece of bread or cracker,

spread a small portion with your knife, and eat with-

the fingers. At picnics, all dry cheeses may be eaten

from one’s fingers. At the table, a fork is used.

EGGS. Cut off the large end of cooked eggs with

one stroke of the knife and eat from the shell with a

spoon or a long thin slice of bread. When finished,

noiselessly break the shell and lay it on the side of

your plate. Do not pour the egg out on the plate, nor

mix it with other food on your plate.

MEATS. Cut a small portion and eat with a fork.

FOWL. The knife and fork are used; do not use

your fingers. In private, you may be allowed to put

a small bone with the uncut meat into your mouth.

Remove the bone with your fingers and place it on

your plate.

FISH. The bones are separated from the fish by

lifting the end of the bone with your fork, and then

the whole bone is removed slowly with the aid of your

knife. The fingers may be used to assist, provided

they do not touch the fish. Eat the fish with your

28



fork. Bones that may enter the mouth are removed

with the fingers and placed on your plate.

LOBSTER. In ordering lobster, you would do well

to ask the waiter to have the lobster well cracked

—

much difficulty will be avoided, unless you are prac-

ticed in eating lobster. If not so served, you will have

to pull the claws apart with your fingers. Get the

meat from the shell with your fork and eat it with the

fork. You may have an occasional need for the knife

in getting at the meat. In no case should you dig out

all the meat and then eat from your plate as you

would meat. You eat the meat of the lobster as it is

loosened with the fork. If individual drawn butter is

served with the lobster, dip the meat on your fork

into the butter before conveying it to your mouth.

PITS AND SEEDS OF FRUIT.
Pits and seeds may be eaten bare

and clean in the mouth and dropped

into the cupped hand and then onto

the plate. They may be dropped

into a spoon and placed on the edge

of the plate.

BAKED POTATOES. Break the
potato in two with the fingers. With

a fork, place a bit of butter in one

half, pour salt and pepper as desired,

and eat with your fork. Do not mess the seasoning up

and down in the potato, but with your fork you may

move the seasoning to the one piece you are taking to

eat. If you like to eat the skin, you may, after break-

ing the potato in half with your fingers, cut the halves

29



into smaller pieces with your knife and fork, season,

and eat with your fork.

Fried potatoes and breakfast bacon are eaten with

a fork. Saratoga chips are eaten from the fingers.

CORN. Take the ear of corn from the serving plate

with your fingers. If not served with silver handles,

break the ear into smaller pieces, butter and season.

Hold the piece in one hand while eating.

ARTICHOKES. The heart of this vegetable is sur-

rounded with leaves. Eat them with your fingers.

Break off one leaf at a time, starting with the outer

leaf. Dip the light-colored base into the sauce or

butter, eat just the base, and place the inedible leafy

part on your dish. When all the leaves have been

rmoved, eat the _J‘heart” with your fork.

LETTUCE AND LETTUCE SALAD. Cut with the
edge of a fork and eat with the fork. You may find

it necessary to use your knife in order to separate the

lettuce into sections. The knife should not be used

except when absolutely necessary. Do not try to curl

a large piece of lettuce around your fork.

SANDWICHES. Ordinary sandwiches are broken

and eaten from the fingers. Club and very thick sand-

wiches should be cut into smaller portions with a knife

and eaten with the finger’s. An open sandwich is eaten

w ith a fork. A knife is generally required to manipu-
late a toasted cheese sandwich.

PLUMS AND BANANAS are eaten with the fingers.
Take small bites from the plum, but remove the pit

before placing the piece containing it into your mouth.

Peel a banana with your fingers, break off a small

piece at a time, and convey it to your mouth.

30



APPLES AND PEARS. Halve and quarter them;
cut out the core, peel, and eat with the fingers. If the

pear is very juicy, eat it with a fork.

PEACHES. Quarter with a knife, peel, and eat

with a fork.

ORANGES. Peel with your fingers, with the help

of a knife. With your fingers, divide the orange into

quarters. Divide the quarters into smaller sections

with your fingers and convey to your mouth.

GRAPES. When grapes are in a large fruit dish,

break off a cluster
;
or cut off a small cluster with the

grape scissors, if one is provided. Eat the grapes with

your fingers. If you do not wish to eat the skin, ex-

tract the pulp from it as you hold the grape to your

mouth. This should be done noiselessly. Remove

seeds as explained above.

COFFEE AND TEA. If you are to serve yourself
from a coffee pot, first put cream into the cup; then

pour the coffee or tea—never brimming full. In dining
cars, fill your cup half full so that the coffee will not

spill, due to the motion of the train. You may put

sugar into your cup either before or after the coffee.

If it is lump sugar, use the sugar tongs in the sugar

bowl
;
if none are there, take a lump with your fingers

and slip it gently into your coffee so there will be

no splash. If the sugar is granulated, use the sugar

spoon. Never put your own soiled spoon into a sugar

bowl. Gently stir your coffee until the sugar is dis-

solved. Immediately place your spoon into the saucer.

Never pour any drink into your saucer—even to cool
it; and, certainly, never drink from a saucer. Take a

31



gentle sip of the coffee to determine how hot it is be-

fore drinking it. Do not use a spoon for this purpose.

Chocolate and cocoa are generally drunk as served,

unless you wish a little more sugar.

FINGERBOWL. In eating fruit, your fingers may

become sticky with juice. If a fingerbowl is provided,

place the tips of your fingers, one hand at a time, into

the fingerbowl, and dry on your napkin. If no finger-

bowl is provided, dry your fingers on your napkin.

Miscellaneous Points of Table Manners

Never pick over food on a common dish. Don’t be

guilty of looking over a dish for the best portion. Take

whichever is nearest to you.

Never touch with your fingers anything on a com-

mon serving dish. In the few cases when you are

supposed to use your fingers—olives, for example

—

be careful not to touch any piece of food except the

piece you are taking.

Never take butter from a common dish with a knife

that you have already used.

Be most careful that you never take anything but

a small portion from a serving dish. There is nothing

worse in manners than for one to take a generous help-

ing, leaving the last person served either without a

portion or with a very small one. Be more thoughtful

of the last person to be served at table than you are

of yourself. You will not get the best piece of meat,

but you will get the sincere admiration of every one

with you for being charitable, courteous, and thought-

32



ful of others. There is no more attractive quality in

young and old than unselfishness. Cultivate this virtue.

It will win you a host of friends wherever you go. No

one likes a selfish person.

Take one slice of bread. If you wish for more, ask

for it later.

Never smear a dish in serving yourself. No one likes

to be served from a dish that has been left in an un-

sightly condition by your carelessness or thought-

lessness.

Get in the habit of passing dishes to others at table.

Do not help yourself and forget about your companions.

If a refilled dish is placed on the table near you, with-

out being asked by another, pass the dish down or up

the table. When you pass a dish, be sure that the

spoon or knife and fork are on the right side of the

dish. This makes it convenient for your neighbor to

help himself.

Never empty a glass in one swallow. Never detain

a pitcher of any beverage at your place until you will

have taken a drink and refilled your glass. If your lips

are at all greasy, wipe them gently.

If you take food into your mouth that you cannot

swallow, remove it with your fingers or fork, and place

it on the side of your plate. Do this without attracting

attention.

Never put your fingers into your mouth to remove a

piece of meat from your teeth. Never pick your teeth

in public. It is better to suffer the pain of a piece 6?

meat wedged in your teeth until the meal is over and

you are alone.

33



It is better not to use your knife or a crust of bread

to help your fork in picking up peas or any other

vegetable. You need not eat the last pea on the plate

;

and if you wish for more, you might ask for more

except at a formal dinner.

Never use a piece of bread to pick up the gravy that

may remain on your plate. If you wish, you might

break off a small piece of bread and manipulate it with

your fork. Even this concession is not allowed at a

formal dinner.

Never pass any comment on the food. If you do not

care for it, say not one single word
;
if you wish to say

a complimentary word, do so, but avoid the appearance

of flattery.

If you must follow a diet, it would be better to say a

quiet word to the hostess before the meal, so that there

will be no comment about it at table.

Never talk in a loud voice at table. Never try to

carry on a conversation with someone at another table.

Don’t even try to attract his attention. Your com-

panions at dinner are those seated with you.

Never speak with food in your mouth. This is one

more reason for not taking too much into your mouth

at one time. Someone might address you while you

are eating.

Do not hold your knife or fork in your hand while

you are talking. Lay it down, especially if your com-

ment exceeds a word or two. , ,

Avoid making the least sound while eating your

food. Do not munch your food, mooving your jaws

like triphammers. Chew slowly and noiselessly, with

your lips closed.



If you must sneeze or cough or blow your nose at

table, turn your head slightly to the right and a bit

backwards, and use your handkerchief. If you have

a bad cold and must blow your nose at table, never do

it loudly; rather gently wipe your nose and bear with

yourself until you are out of the dining room.

Once again—do not play with the silver. Do not tap
your fingers nervously on the table. Keep your arms

and elbows off the table. Never encircle a dish with

your arm while you are eating or prop yourself up

with one arm or elbow resting on the table.

Never write with a pencil on a tablecloth.

Accidents will happen at table. Something may be

spilled, but many such accidents at table are due to

carelessness.

It is not only bad manners, but decidedly wrong, ever

to take a single piece of silverware or any other fur-

nishing from a table, whether private or public.

On rising from your chair after a meal, do not push

the chair backwards ( but withdraw it with your hand,

and then place—not shove—it back in its proper place.
In all things, at table and everywhere, be the embodi-

ment of good manners. You will always be a welcome

guest and remembered as a person of culture arid

refinement. ,

Above all, remember that your own family deserves

the courtesy of good table manners. Some inconsider-

ate people reserve their best manners for state arid

formal occasions and for strangrs but do not observe

the ordinary niceties of proper etiquette in their own

home. Those nearest and dearest to you should receive

the benefit of your best manners; .

35



GOOD MANNERS AT SCHOOL

THE ILL-MANNERED MAN IS BUT A PARTIAI^
LY EDUCATED MAN. Talent can never compensate
for a lack of the usual courtesies. Neither can knowl-

edge, however wide, serve as an offset to coarse man-

ners. Although manners neither completely make or

mar you, they without doubt reveal j^ou.

Aside from the home, the school offers the best

opportunities for developing those traits of character

which make a truly Christian lady or gentleman.

Before reporting to school, be sure you have taken

care of your personal appearance. Whether your

clothes are more expensive than those of other students

makes absolutely no difference. Your courtesy is rec-

ognizd by your attitude toward all. Material posses-

sions add nothing whatever to your good manners.

A boy removes his hat on entering the building.

Wraps are hung neatly.

36



CLASS AND STUDY PERIODS FORM A GREAT
PART OF YOUR DAY

;
hence, they are important in

your training. The real student is always in time for

class and study periods. Courtesy requires an excuse

for any absence or tardiness. Promptness is a social

courtesy and a business necessity. Develop this habit

strongly during your school days.

When you enter a classroom, sit down in your place

and get your books, paper, and pencil ready for use.

A workman who reports for duty without his tools will
never succeed. Sit erect and give your attention to

the teacher, your book, or the blackboard, as the work

of the moment requires. Don’t sprawl in your seat.

A lazy posture usually begets a lazy mind. You must
think, and thinking is work. Gum chewing is wholly

out of order in the classroom.

Do not borrow the necessary books, paper, pencil,

or whatever else the instructor requires. A borrower
is a nuisance shunned by othe students.

Be ready for work at the opening of class. Get in

the habit of having your work well done and ready

for presentation to the teacher at the appointed time.

Arrange the heading on your paper and its general

form according to the specifications of the instructor.

Write your name with pen and ink in each book that

belongs to you. Never leave your books lying around.

Since heat destroys the binding, do not leave your

books on radiators. Marking books with pictures and

silly sayings is a sign of an immature mind. Have

only those books on your desk which you need for the

class in session.

37



BE LOYAL TO YOUR SCHOOL. Remember that it
is your school; therefore, it demands your personal

interest. School spirit does not mean shouting on the

football field, but co-operating in all the school projects

—spiritual, cultural, and social. Do all in your power
to progress; the development of your scholarship is

essential to your future welfare. Learn to profit by

your mistakes. Take pains to note the corrections of

the teacher and avoid the same mistakes.

Remember that a Catholic school is made possible

only through someone’s financial sacrifice; therefore,

never destroy or mutilate school property. Be proud of

the neat appearance of your school; this can be an indi-

cation of your own standard. Keep it as neat as your

own living-room at home. Never throw waste paper

or anything else on the floor. Should you see paper on

the floor, pick it up and put it into the wastebasket.

Do not throw things at the wastebasket. Keep books,

papers, and other materials neatly and orderly arranged

inside your desk in your private room or study hall.

Never write anything on the blackboard unless directed

to do so by the teacher.

YOUR TEACHER IS YOUR BENEFACTOR. You

can show your gratitude in many different ways; for

example, by volunteering your services and by a friend-

ly greeting. Always show the greatest respect to the

faculty. A Catholic school would not be worthy of its
name if it permitted the slightest violation of this

essential element of its discipline. Be loyal, fair, con-

siderate, and courteous to all your teachers. You may

personally prefer some teachers to others, but each

one deserves at all times the benefit of your best

manners.

38



Rise when spoken to by one of the faculty members.

Address each teacher by the proper title. In speaking

to a priest, use the title “Father”; to a Sister, “Sister”

or “Mother,” as the case may be. Lay teachers are

addressed by their family name, with the prefix,

“Mr.,” “Miss,” or “Mrs.” Army or navy officers are

addressed with their proper title, as, “Major Smith.”

In answering their questions, you do not say, “Yes,

Sir,” but “Yes, Father,” “Yes, Sister,” or “Yes, Major

Smith.”

Should your teacher find it necessary to step into

the hall, your behavior should be perfect. Only dis-

honorable students take advantage of a teacher’s ab-

sence to misbehave. Your conduct when you are thus

left alone is an index to your character—good or bad.
It is a mark of discourtesy to tap your fingers or

a pencil nervously on the desk. Do not monopolize the

class time with irrelevant matters. Know when to

knock. Knock on a closed door to a classroom or to

a private room. Never criticize your school for in

doing that you criticize yourself.

39



GOOD MANNERS AT WORK

FROM THE CAPABLE HANDS OF CHRIST AT
WORK with hammer and saw there streams a radiance
upon all honest work and service.

Determine to do your part of the world’s work whole-

heartedly. You are naturally fitted for a certain occu-

pation in life. Choose wisely and be content with the

vocation to which you find yourself adapted. Be

happy to accept any job available in that line. If you

choose farming or the crafts, endeavor to be the best

4o



of your kind. Be proud and glad that you have found

your place in the world of occupation. If you choose a

line of business or a profession, be an honor to it.

ONCE ON THE JOB, be punctual. Get to work in
time or before, and stay with it to the last minute—

a

matter of both justice and courtesy. Do your duty,

plus. Be pleasant about overtime work in emergencies.

Learn to meet people graciously—to be courteous
in your speech and manner. Speak kindly of others.

Respect their opinions and give to every man his due.

Give to the public the courtesy and service it has a

right to demand. Accept pleasantly the routine of

your environment. Win the regard of those with whom

you come in contact by your poise and quiet dignity.

BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR EMPLOYER. When
others are disloyal to him, have the courage to remain

constant and true. As long as you work for him,

stand by him. Watch

for every opportunity

to serve him and his

cause. Consider his

interest. When told

official information,

guard it well. Know

how to talk and how

much to say. Obey

orders intelligently,

promptly, and exactly

as they are given. Do

more than is asked of you.

A wise old man once shrewdly observed that there
are generally three kinds of workers. “For example,”

41



he says, “when a piano is to be moved, one gets behind

and pushes. A second pulls a little and guides. Then
there is always the fellow who looks after the piano

stool.”

Prove to your employer by the kind of work you

produce that you are capable of holding a job a little

higher up on the scale of advancement. When your

employer begins to trust you with some management of

men and affairs, remember that those who work under

your direction have a right to expect good leadership

from you. The true leader is kind and helpful, but

aggressive, decisive, and authoritative. He neither

fears to use the powers of his position nor employs

them in an unkind, autocratic way. Men will .give

their best and give it gladly under good leadership.

WHEN GIVEN AUTHORITY OVER OTHERS, be
fair-minded and just in your dealings. Analyze im-

personally and criticize justly and constructively; there

is more than one side to every trouble. “Position

never confers on one the license to snub what he does

not like.” Inspire your people to work and to use their

originality. Demand a high standard of accomplish-

ment and recognize ability when you see it. Sincerely .

appreciate and encourage good work. Beware of flat-

tery; it is a method that will not last. Be friendly;

gain the good will of those around you. Cultivate a

democratic attitude toward all men regardless of race,

nationality, or creed. Value the effort of every man

and be willing to give him his due.

Become known for your spirit of honesty. Refuse

to be bought by wealth, influenced by power, or spoiled

by success. Live nobly. Avoid the tragedy of having

42



some great liability, such as drinking, overshadow your

fine personality.

Be truly ambitious, with an eager desire to accomp-

lish through creative imagination, perseverance, self-

denial, and honest effort, rather than through greed

for power or wealth.

43



GOOD MANNERS IN DRESS AND GROOMING

LEONARDO DA VINCI, AFTER FINISHING HIS
PAINTING OF THE LAST SUPPER, asked a friend
to give his candid criticism. “It is marvelous,” said

the friend. “That cup stands out from the table as if

it were real. I cannot keep my eyes off it.”

Da Vinci at once took a brush and removed the cup,

remarking, “Nothing shall attract attention from the

figure of our Lord.”

Whether you realize it or not, people are expecting

to recognize Christ in you. Be very careful lest ex-

terior things—dress, grooming, discourtesies—keep
others from finding and loving the Christ within you.

APPROPRIATENESS. According to the etymology

of the word, personality is that indefinable something

by which we reveal ourselves. It is more than exterior

appearance; it is more than character; it is the sum

total of “me.” However, dress, grooming, and bear-

ing do much to express one’s personality. Clothing at

once catches the eye and indicates the taste, the char-

acter, the manners of the wearer. Wear your clothes

with a primness that depicts your mental attitude.

The way a hat is cocked may influence another’s

judgment of you. Your taste in accessories, neck-ties,

scarfs, gloves, socks, may label you as adventurous,

conservative, slovenly, or artistic. As Browning says

:

44



My work is not to remake myself,
But to make the absolute best of what God

hais made.

STYLE AND COLOR should influence a lady’s choice
in clothing only so far as they better express her type.

The correctly attired woman will adapt the latest

fashion to suit her individuality. Consideration for

the Christ within her will keep her well within the

limits of decency and good sense. Extremeness of

color and style are always to be avoided.

SIMPLICITY. Dress simply, attrac-

tively, and modestly; but carefully and

economically. Be content to go without

that for which you cannot pay. A
clever girl can choose so wisely that one

or two dresses make her appear much

better groomed than a girl with a large,

expensive, ill-chosen wardrobe. Jewelry

should be used sparingly and should

always be chosen to harmonize with

the occasion and the costume being

worn. Jewelry on boys may be especial-

ly offensive and effeminate. A man
never uses perfumes, strongly scented

soaps, or lotions; a lady of refinement

uses them with discrimination.

CLEANLINESS. “Cleanliness is next to godliness.”

To be well-groomed, a man or lady’s program will

include

:

1. Shower or bath daily.

2. Deodorant to counteract body odors.

3.

Teeth well brushed.

.45



4. Hair neatly combed and washed frequently. Dan-

; druff is offensive.

5. Nails clean and manicured frequently. To do so

in public, however, is as unpardonable as to brush

your teeth there.

6. Clean undergarments and hose.

7. Spotless, pressed, and repaired clothing, suits and

hats well brushed.

8. Shoes well polished; heels straight.

9. A clean handkerchief every day.

GLOVES form a part of the street costume for

ladies, and should harmonize. They are removed be-

fore taking refreshments. Men wear gloves for com-

fort and remove them when entering a building. Be

sure they are always clean and repaired. Offer an

apology if time does not permit your removing the

right glove before shaking hands.

HATS. A lady’s hat harmonizes with her costume,

and should be worn in church, on the street, at lunch-

eons, and afternoon teas. In general, she wears her

hat at all day functions, at hotel dinners, and lunch-

eons, but never with the dinner gown.

A man’s hat should match his suit and should always
be clean and well brushed. He removes it when enter-

ing a home, a school building, a church, an elevator in

a hotel or an apartment house, and when speaking

with a lady or a dignitary.

CLOTHES FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS. School

clothes must be characterized by simplicity and clean-

liness. Tailored or semi-tailored clothes of wool, jersey,

or cotton are very appropriate for the girl. She’wears

46



oxfords with a medium heel. French heels are entirely

out of place in school. School clothing for the boy

varies with the locality. A necktie is always proper.
Be careful not to imitate the student who sets a “freak-

ish” example of clothing, haircut, fingernail polish,

or nail cut.

Evening dress is worn at dances and formal dinners.

For the lady, evening dress consists of a long gown,

which may be very simple.

Color, style, and line are of

much greater importance than

ornaments and frills. Silk

hose and slippers to match,

complete the evening dress.

Evening dress for a man may

vary from a tuxedo to a dark

suit with black shoes and hose,

depending on the formality

of the occasion.

Business clothes, like school clothes, are marked by
'

simplicity and cleanliness. Tailored models in subdued

colors are usually the best choice for ladies. Extrava-

gance in style, excessive jewelry, conspicuous make-up,

gaudy nail polish, and extremes in fingernail shapes

count markedly against the business applicant. The

man of business is appropriately dressed when wearing

a clean, neatly pressed suit
;
necktie and hose to match

and well polished shoes. A daily shave and frequent
haircuts help to stamp the well-groomed man.

A REFINED PERSONAL APPEARANCE helps re-
flect the beauty of soul of a child of God. Dress at-

tractively, groom yourself well, and carry yourself

47



with the poise of a member of the Royal Family of God.

Thus you will express charm, good taste, godliness.

I wish women to be decently dressed, adorn-
ing themselves with modesty and dignity,

not with braided hair or gold or pearls or

expensive clothing, but with good works

such as become women professing godliness.

(1 Tim. 2, 9).

48



GOOD MANNERS AT RECREATION

GOOD MANNERS ARE PERHAPS NEVER SO
MUCH APPECIATED OR THE LACK OF THEM
SO MUCH NOTICED AS AT SOCIAL EVENTS.
Practice the rules of polite etiquette with a charming

Christlike courtesy.

Do not attract attention to yourself in any public

gathering or place. Cultivate a quiet manner of

voice. When you do talk in a public gathering at the

proper time, speak in a tone of voice that can be heard,

only by those in your immediate party.

THEATER. On entering the theater, wait at the

head of the aisle for the usher. Hand your seat checks

to him and let him lead the way. The lady precedes

the gentleman down the aisle, unless there is no usher

and the place is dark. In this case, the gentleman

leads and, arriving at the right row, allows the lady

49-



to enter first. If two couples are attending together,

one gentleman should lead, followed by the ladies and

the other gentleman, so that when seated the two

ladies are beside each other.

Come in slowly and quietly take your place. Do not

sprawl out in the seat; keep your feet oh the floor

directly in front of you. Do not monopolize the arm-

rests. Passing in front of someone in reaching your

seat is sometimes necessary. Make the appropriate

apology for your guest and yourself, “Excuse us,

please,” or “We’re sorry.” If the row of seats is empty

and none are reserved, do not occupy the seats nearest

the aisle and force people to climb over you. Never

come late for a show or for a public performance. If

through an unavoidable circumstance you are late,

take your seat with the very least disturbance. Ladies

should remove their hats in a theater, especially if they

obstruct the view of those behind you.

Courtesy demands that you do not so much as whisper

during a public performance of any kind: movies, plays,

concerts, public lectures. Even though you may not

be interested, think of those about you. Avoid telling

the story ahead of time or announcing any prophetic

foresight. If those behind you insist on talking, it is

not good manners to turn around and glare.

INTENDED COMICAL SITUATIONS MAY EVOKE
LAUGHTER, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN BOIS-
TEROUSNESS. Laughter should never be a shout.

It should not be prolonged, especially at a movie, be-

cause it prevents the audience from hearing the lines

that follow. Whistling, stamping the feet, or hissing

are entirely out of order. Self-restraint, a necessary

50



and attractive virtue in all situations, is particularly

one in public. There it will clothe you with the dignity

and poise expected of a Catholic or gentleman.

Coughing during a play can become a nervous habit.

Rattling a program or crackling cellophane wrappers

while the curtain is up is unfair to your neighbors.

Eating candy or chewing gum is an act that should be

-avoided except by persons in a cheap burlesque house

where such things are done. The noise of eating and

the odor of the candy are annoying to the patrons who

do not indulge in these plebeian acts. A public room
should be given the same respect as a private room

in the home.

Be most careful not to destroy or mark in the least

way any property. Never write your name or initials

on furniture or walls.

PARTIES AND DANCES. Be friendly to all.
Friendliness in social contacts is one of youth’s most

powerful weapons to influence people toward good.

The friendly man or woman radiates joy and dispels

fear.

When a gentleman invites a young lady to accompany

him, he is careful to explain the kind of social function

they will attend, where it is to be held, and when he

will call for her. Then, he is prompt, and she is ready.

He does not announce his arrival by honking the horn

of his car; he rings the doorbell. If he has not met

her parents, she introduces him to them before leaving.

Parents like to know their daughter’s escort. A hand-
shake, a smile, and a word of greeting usually satisfy

this curiosity.

51



LET COMMON SENSE DICTATE THE SOLUTION
TO THE TRANSPORTATION PROBLEM. If you can-

not ride, then walk, unless it is too far. The best way

to have the most fun is to go in a group or join a group

after arriving. Do not make a double date for one

evening and leave one activity to go to another, unless

such has been planned for the group.

Courtesy demands that your grooming be in accord-

ance with the occasion. On arriving, visit your respec-

tive dressing room and make sure you are looking your

best. Adjusting hair or clothing or using cosmetics

in public betrays a lack of refinement.

Win the approval of your friends, not only by a

pleasing appearance, but also by a pleasing manner.

Avoid sarcastic remarks. Feel at ease, and opportuni-

ties will present themselves for sensible observations

and pleasant remarks. Cardinal Newman once wrote,

“A gentleman is one who never inflicts pain.”

Loud laughing or talking or trying to be clever in

order to attract attention is an evidence of bad taste.

Let Shakespeare guide the ladies:

Her voice was ever soft, gentle and low.

An excellent thing in woman.

Listen ! A good listener is the best conversationalist.
Respect the ideas of others. Florence Howe Hall likens

convrsation to a game

:

A good converser, like a good ball player,
should be able to catch as well as to throw the

ball (of talk)
,
to take his turn at the bat, and

his turn in the field.

52



The same rule may be applied to games, stunts, and

the like, at parties.

Try to enjoy whatever refreshments are served, and

be temperate. Know and use appropriate table manners.

Avoid “roughhousing” as well as any games that may

destroy rugs or furniture. If anyone sings or plays or

entertains in another way, show interest and applaud.

DANCES. Often the social con-

cludes with a dance. Whether this

takes place in the home or else-

where, a Catholic’s dance should be

full of pure, clean enjoyment.

Learn to dance correctly, so that

you will not be awkward or con-

spicuous on the floor. A gentle-
man’s introduction to a lady means,

“Ask her to dance.” If she is not

free at the time, he will be polite

to ask her another time, but this

is not an obligation. It is an obli-

gation, however, at a private dance

for every gentleman to dance at

least once with the hostess and the

guest of honor if there is one.

Don’t mumble when asking for a

man should say, “May I have this dance?” to which

the lady answers, “You may,” “Yes, certainly,” “With

pleasure,” or “I’m sorry, but I have this one.”

A lady always walks ahead of her p>artner to the
dance floor and also off the floor. She should refrain

from applauding the orchestra. Don’t monopolize any

section of the floor or isolate your partner and your-

dance. The gentle-

53



self from the crowd. The gentleman should assume

all responsibility for bumping into another couple and

apologize by saying, “I’m sorry,” or
,
“I beg your

pardon.”

Everyone joins in the Grand March. The lady takes

her escort’s arm. Grand marches should never be too

slow or too long.

If a gentleman has taken a young lady to a dance,

she has the first and last dances with him. If there

are refreshments, they go together and usually have

the dance together before and after. Both are free

to dance with any or all of the group, provided an in-

troduction is made; but the gentleriian will always see

to it that she is never without a partner.

SEE THAT THE CHAPERONS ARE HAVING A
GOOD TIME, TOO. They are your guests, who are
willing to favor you with their protection and help.

They are not to be treated as policewomen. It is well

to ask both men and women to chaperon, so that they

can dance and enjoy themselves.

Cultured people take pride in an attractive and grace-

ful posture on the dance floor. Self-respecting persons

avoid the cheek-to-cheek, head-nestling-on-the-shoulder,

or vine-clinging positions, not merely to escape public

censure, but especially to avoid the occasion of sin.

The world is wi’ong only because individuals are wrong.

Never should a couple sit in a car or ih some secluded

spot during a dance. If you are tired dancing, visit

with your chaperon. Chewing gum or eating candy

oh the dance floor indicates a lack of refinement. Eat

a good meal before you go, so that you will be able

to wait until time for refreshments.

54



I

Acting as though you had lost the power of speech

or closing the eyes while dancing is taboo. Do not

cheapen yourself by dancing with persons of question-

able character. Your conduct at a public dance must

be more reserved than at a private dance where you are

well known to everyone. However, even here never

lose sight of the dignity which is yours as a Catholic.

Be loyal to the Royal in you.

AT THE CLOSE OF A DANCE, the man asks the

lady where she wishes to be seated. He thanks her,

to which she may reply, “I enjoyed it, too.” If he

wishes, he may visit with her until the next dance.

DO NOT FEEL THAT IT IS ALWAYS NECES-
SARY TO EAT after a public
social event. However, if you

do, a lady should show some

regard for her escort’s pocket-

book. He should mean more

to her than his wealth. It

does not require much time to

build up a reputation of being

a “gold digger.” A lady will
be moderate in her demands.

EXPRESS APPRECIA-
TION TO THE HOST AND
HOSTESS. Thank them for

inviting you and assure them

you had a good time. The

mother -is always the hostess,

although the young people act

as hosts and hostesses.

55



Young people should go directly home from social

events. On arriving, the escort stays only long enough

to see the lady safely into the house. She is perfectly

capable of going in without first being kissed. He

thanks her for going with him; she assures him she

has had a good time; and with a pleasant and quiet

“Good night” both go their way. It is a beautiful

custom in some homes for young people to talk over

with parents the happenings of the evening before

retiring.

A Few Signposts for Dating

WHEN A LADY IS INVITED OUT BY A GENTLE-
MAN, she is his guest and expects to be treated as

such. Though she is able to open doors and seat her-

self at table without assistance, she gives him oppor-

tunity to perform these little acts of chivalry for her.

They are ceremonies of sociability which mark him

as a knight. He likes to perform them if her person-

ality is worthy of such attentions.

The knight will be proud of his lady, and vice

versa, if each does the right thing in the right way.

“Graciousness grows in the great.” If the evening

is to be spent together, the general rules of Christian

courtesy will safeguard the moral and social integrity

of each. She will be modest in all things, and he will

champion that modesty under all circumstances. Both

will have courage to defy what might offend God or

society. Double-dating with relatives or friends lessens

the worry of occasions of sin. It also assures more

fun—clean fun.
56



When riding, the gentleman will assist his lady into

the car and out of it. During the drive observe all

traffic laws. Conversation is considered a clever game,

and here is one place where players are put to a test.

Be interested in each other’s interests. Talk about

worth-while topics. Have no regrets at the end of

the evening.

Parking on a side road or in an out-of-the-way place

puts you in an occasion of danger. If you are tired

of driving and have no place to go, spend the rest of

the evening with the folks.

KNIGHTHOOD’S CHIEF DUTY IS PRO'TEC'nON.
If the street or lobby is crowded, a lady may slip her

hand through her escort’s arm. He makes a mistake

by taking hers, except when giving her assistance.

Whether he walks on her right or left depends on from

which side she needs the most protection.

Avoid that helpful clutching grip;

The modem miss won’t fall or trip.

A lady should complete her toilet before her escort
arrives. It is not only bad form but evidence of lack

of charm to be continually admiring herself in her

mirror or rearranging her hair or make-up. The

gentleman may begin to wonder what her natural face

must be to need such constant attention. A man talks
less about beauty, charm, and cleverness; but he ex-

pects more.

DO NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING THAT WOULD
WOUND EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS. No man likes
his lady to flirt with other men to attract their atten-

57



tion. He considers such conduct cheap. The most

typical meaning of the word “cheapness” is exemplified

in the girl who puts no value on herself. She shows no

reserve mentally, morally, or physically. She confides

most personal and intimate details of her life to

strangers. She exacts no courtes3^ and doesn’t mind

being nudged, pushed, or shoved. And, having no

sense of personal value, she is willing to be kissed and

petted and is dangerously frivolous. Such do not de-

serve the name Christian. A clean, cultured, Christian

lady will be popular without seeking popularity. Ex-

cellence is alone imperishable
;
bad manners and vulgar

behavior will eventually be shunned.

The question often arises, “How far may a girl run

after a man,” The answer is, “Run ? Not a step.”

But she may invite him to any party; or she may ask

a new acquaintance to visit her. Keeping within the

bounds of common sense, she may invite him to write

to her, or accompany her to a theater for which she

has two tickets. It isn’t so much what she does as

how she does it.

Catholics should be cai’eful to date Catholics. Thej’

will remember that a pure, wholesome courtship is the

surest guarantee of a happy married life, founded on

mutual reverence. The Church is wise in her admoni-

tions; follow them.

Driving

“DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE
THEM DO UNTO YOU.” This -motto should guide
drivers of automobiles at all times. Traffic regulations

58



are made for peace and harmony. Founded on safety

and decency, they serve to remind Christians to re-

spect the rights of others.

DRIVERS, KEEP BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
and at least one eye on the road. Speeding simply

risks lives. Observe all traffic laws and warning signs.

Using the slogan, “It’s all right if I don’t get caught,”

has ruined many lives and caused bitter regrets. Pas-

sengers must refrain from “back-seat driving.” Avoid

anything that would distract the driver’s attention from

the wheel.

Preferred seats are the one in front and the outside

ones in the rear. Give these to guests and elders. The

host or hostess should consult the guest’s preference

as to having windows opened or closed; but the guest

should not open or close them without permission of

the host. Guests on a motor trip should take as little

baggage as possible. Gentlemen always open and close

the doors and assist ladies into and out of the car.

Young ladies will assist older women. Too many per-

sons should not be crowded into a car. Girls should

never be expected to sit on boys’ laps.

“NECKING AND PE'TTING” are dangerously im-
moral and often bring about spiritual disaster. Be-

sides, too many physical accidents are caused by un-

controlled conduct of this nature. Catholics should

shun such behavior in themselves and show disgiist

when they witness it in others. Your open acknowl-

edgment of higher ideals will draw others to follow

you. God will be pleased, and you will be happy be-

cause sin has . been forestalled.

59



DO NOT TAKE ANY MORE THAN YOUR SHARE
OF THE ROAD OR PARKING SPACE. Be consider-
ate of another’s eyesight and dim your lights when

meeting another car. Blow your horn as a warning

when necessary, but don’t be childishly rude by tooting

it when there is a tie-up in traffic. It is futile to

scream out an abuse to pedestrians and other motorists.

Reserve singing the latest song hits for the high-

ways bounded by woods and open fields. Rowdy be-

havior can become criminal conduct. When motoring

through the streets at night, be considerate of those

who may have retired.

Gaines

“GAMES,” said Benjamin Franklin, “LUBRICATE

THE MIND.” They smooth social relations, too. De-

prive the world of its amusements—^golf and tennis,
cards and balls, conversation, even—and little remains
for sociability.

No one takes games too seriously. A good player
knows how to win modestly and to lose with grace.

Keep your mind on the game and not on your feelings.

Be enthusiastic in your loyalty to your own team, but

recognize and applaud an opponent’s good play, too.

Booing is always taboo. Realize the tnie meaning of

“fair play.” A cheat, w^hether in checkers, cards, or
athletics, will gradually be shunned.

WHEN THE GAME ENDS, part as friends. If you
or your side wins, all the better; but don’t boast over

the victory. If you lose, accept the defeat with dignity.

Shouting about unfairaess only attracts attention.

60



Impressions made by a noisy few reflect on the school

or group you represent. Let your opponents feel they

have given you a good time.

“TO ERR IS HUMAN,” and even referees may make

a mistake. Usually they are competent and fair, and

it doesn’t make any difference to them who wins the

game. Your criticism

and booing do not

change the score; they

only label you a “poor

sport.”

If you are on the

team, keep in mind that

co-operation is all im-

portant. Besides being

disloyal, it is “cheap”

to play to the grand-

stand. Shouting, “Can’t

you take it?” to a dis-

abled player is entirely

uncalled for. A cheer
should be given the un-

fortunate, no matter to

what team he belongs.

GET BEHIND THE
CHEER LEADERS
AND GIVE THEM
YOUR FULL SUPPORT. Catholic groups will never
use “shady” words or phrases in their cheers or show

approval when hearing them,

lady as a flirt.

Giggling, waving, or doing anything to attract the

attention of that handsome stranger brands a young



Avoid all forms of social osteopathy; such as, rib-

nudging and back-slapping, while waiting for the game

to begin or during the play. Self-restraint gives you

that cultured poise so desirable in all group activities.

Fidgeting, humming, foot-tapping, boisterous laugh-

ter, violent arguing, all come from a lack of self-

restraint.

Be interested in the game you are playing or stay

out of it. The half-hearted player who is forever ask-

ing, “Oh, is it my turn?”- is an annoyance.

THE COURTSY OF HAVING THE FIRST TURN
IS GIVEN TO YOUR GUEST. Men allow ladies to
take turns ahead of them when this does not conflict

with the rules. A lady should not expect special
privileges or to be provided with equipment merely

because of her sex. ,

Don’t be a “sponger.” If you can’t afford to go to

all the events you would like or have all the delicacies

your appetite craves, do without them. Abstinence

and self-denial are strength for your soul.

62



GOOD MANNERS IN PUBLIC PLACES

Of courtesy it is much less

Than courage of heart and holiness;

Yet in my walks it seems to me
That the grace of God is in courtesy.—Belloc

MANNERS PORTRAY PERSONALITY. Good man-
ners in public places are the courteous expression of

thoughtfulness for others. The truly polite person

will be unselfish in thought, word, and action. The

self-centered individual finds courtesy difficult. He is

bored and uneasy in public. There is as much grace

needed for receiving courtesy as for extending it.

Show that you sincerely appreciate anything done for

your convenience in public places.

TWO GENERAL RULES FOR CONDUCT IN PUB
Lie PLACES are : Be considerate of others

;
and never

do anything that would make you unpleasantly

conspicuous.

Everything you do to another is done to Christ.

He Himself has said, “As long as you did it to one of

these ,my least brethren, you did it to Me.” All people

you meet in public places should be considered in the

category of His “brethren.” It is not Christian to

treat anyone as inferior. Courtesy is not to be re-

served for those who can do a favor in return. Courtesy

is catholic; it embraces everyone—housemaids, store
clerks, depot agents, telephone operators, waiters, traf-

63



fic officers, newsboys, hired hands, bus drivers,

soldiers, sailors, marines, sti^t cleaners; in fact, all

public workers.

If circumstances are not to your taste or convenience,

put up with them. Angrj', vociferous protests in public

are ill-mannered and unchristian.

Ti-ain

HAVE ALL PREPARATIONS AND RESERVA-
TIONS MADE AHEAD OF TIME. Realize that public
places are for the use of the public in general and not

for a few people. Difficulties, unkindness, and loss of

temper will thus be avoided. Railroad stations are a

conspicuous example of this sort of abuse. Keep in

line at the ticket window. Be courteous when asking

for information and gratefully acknowledge the serv-

ice. Avoid boisterousness or loud complaining if the

train is not on time. The dignified person does not

parade about to attract attention.

Remember that your baggage should be neat, trim-

looking, and representative of yourself. The smart

thing is to cany the smallest possible amount.

BE CONTINUALLY CONSCIOUS OF OTHERS.

There is perhaps no other place where people have so

many opportunities for practicing unselfishness and

“bearing with one another.”

Good judgment and common sense are your best

guides in the matter of making acquaintances. Young

people should be waiy bf older persons who suddenly

show too much interest in them. If spoken to, be

64



polite
;
but never enter into a long conversation or give

your name and address to a chance acquaintance. Pay

your own way and ask information only from uni-

formed attendants. Do not feel obliged to entertain

those seated with you. Take reading material along

and amuse yourself.

IF YOU MUST EAT LUNCH IN THE COACH, do
it as unobtrusively as possible. Do not take along

strong-scented food, the odor of which permeates the

entire coach. Avoid eating too frequently.

Do not abuse the use of lavatory accommodations in

j^our efforts to appear fresh and attractive. When

others are waiting to use the mirror or to wash, make

it your business to finish as quickly as possible. In

return for the free use of these conveniences, everyone

ought to be willing to properly dispose of used toweling.

Leave the washbowl in a presentable condition. The

lavatory should not be used for smoking.

IF YOU MUST SMOKE, be considerate of others
about you. Avoid smoking in the coach if possible.

IF YOU USE A SLEEPER, tip the porter 25 cents a
night. The dining-car waiter is tipped ten per cent of

your bill. Be courteous to those who serve you and

give tips for any extra service.

Buses—Streetcars

THE SPIRIT OF CHIVALRY is noticeably lacking
in travel today. Buses and streetcars offer specific

examples. You dare to be different. Do not rush to

get on a car or bus ahead of women and old i)eople.

Stand aside and let those who are infirm or older pre-

65



cede you. If a lady is accompanied by a man, she

enters first. He assists her, at the step and, if she is

his guest, pays her fare. On leaving, he alights first

in order to assist her. Any inquiries about transfers,

routes, or destinations should be made by him.

It is just as true today as it was in Sir Galahad’s time

that respectful men and boys will not sit in the pres-

ence of ladies who are standing. However, it is rather

discouraging for a gentleman to have a lady silently

take his politely vacated seat with an air of, “Well, it’s

about time somebody remembered I’m a lady!” A
pleasant smile and a sincere “Thank you” should be

his rewafd.

IT IS RUDE AND SELFISH TO PUSH OR RUSH
FOR A SEAT. Always rise to give your seat to a
priest, a religious, or an older person. Cripples or a

mother carrying a child always deserve this courtesy.

Do this as quietly and tactfully as possible; then move

away, so as to relieve the person of any embarrassment.

This rule applies to ladies as well as gentlemen when

the car is crowded. The seat nearest the window is the

preferred one. A gentleman gives it to his lady, and
a younger person to an elder.

When you are standing, step aside for those who

are moving toward the door.

NEVER CHEW GUM OR EAT ANYTHING IN A
STREETCAR OR BUS. Observe strictly the “No

smoking” rule. Spitting on the floor is not only bad

manners but also contrary to health laws.

It is rude to read the newspaper over anyone’s shoul-

der. Buy your own paper or hope your neighbor will ^
leave his copy when he gets off the car.

66



CHEERY GREETINGS AND A PLEASANT SMILE
will create a friendly atmosphere even in a public con-

veyance. Strive for a helpful attitude rather than that

of insisting on your rights. Respect the worker with

rough hands and greasy clothes. He is one of Christ’s

brethren, who labors so that you may enjoy life’s goods.

The keynote of courtesy in public is unobtrusiveness.

Loud talking and boisterous laughing will make you

conspicuous. Moderate your voice to suit the environ-

ment. Avoid using names in conversations. The

world is a small place, and strange coincidences often

happen. Shun gossip as you would a plague. A Christ-
like character “speaks no scandal, no, nor listens to it.”

Street

PEOPLE WHO NEVER SEE YOU EXCEPT ON
THE STREET, FORM THEIR OPINION OF YOUR
CONDUCT AS THEY SEE IT THERE. Gentlemen
always raise their hats to dignitaries and ladies. In a

spirit of reverence, greet all priests and religious.

Pleasantly greet friends and ac-

quaintances, giving their name:

“Good morning, Mrs. Brown.” If

a gentleman wishes to speak to a

lady, he offers to accompany her

a short distance.
,

Lounging on street corners, be-

ing boisterous before pool halls, or

in any way drawing attention to

yourself makes you offensive. A
lady or gentlernan will not be lioisy

67



on the street; neither will he call out to an acquaint-

ance. Thoughtless hilarity may disturb an entire

neighborhood.

Respect the rights of others. Running on the street

or walking three or four abreast is impolite. Keep to

the right of the sidewalk, especially when meeting

others. Do not push or jostle in a crowd. Notice the

traffic signals and observe them. Even in small towns

it is unsafe to cross the street in the middle of the

block. Do not cross diagonally at a street intersection.

Stop, look, and listen before crossing.

A LADY DOES NOT TAKE HER ESCORT’S ARM
when walking on a street unless there is some reason

for doing so. A gentleman never actually takes his
lady’s arm, but he may lightly support her elbow when

crossing a street. He should offer to carry her um-

brella, book, or packages. This courtesy need not be

offered if the gentleman is a priest or an officer.

Unsightly bundles should be avoided.

A GENTLEMAN USUALLY TAKES THE CURB
SIDE when walking

with a lady. If for

any reason, she needs

protection from the

other side, he will

walk there instead. If

the gentleman wishes

to change sides, he

steps behind her.

When he walks with

two ladies, his place

is on the outside^ not

68



between them. A lady with two men walks between

them.

Be considerate of older or disabled people. Assist

them across the street, give them information, and be

generally helpful.

CIVIC PRIDE SHOULD PROMPT YOU NOT TO
THROW REFUSE ON THE SIDEWALK. Candy
wrappers, handbills, bits of paper, and other waste

material should be thrown into refuse cans or carried

into the house to be burned.

Shopping

SHOPPERS COME IN CONTACT WITH A VARIED
PUBLIC. Have consideration for the comfort and

safety of others. A revolving door becomes a real
danger when heedless persons are in a hurry.

Take your time and your turn. The thoughtless and

crude elbow their way up to the counters or into the

elevator. Do not snatch merchandise from the hands

of others. Attempting to force your way in a moving

line of customers is offensive and dangerous. Stopping

to chat in a congested aisle causes considerable annoy-

ance. Keep command of your temper when you are

annoyed. Practice the golden rule, and things will

adjust themselves. Window shopping should never

obstruct the free movement of the crowd.

Those who smoke while shopping are a real menace.

Great losses in stores have resulted from the careless

stupidity of such smokers. Respect the rights, the

feelings, and the property of your neighbor.

Carry an umbrella so as not to inconvenience those

you meet. When using the umbrella, do not allow the

69



drippings to fall on others. Crouching under a low-

held umbrella and pushing into the crowd ruffles

tempers.

IT IS COWARDLY TO ABUSE A CLERK. She is
defenseless. Employers demand that she be courteous.

When relations are amicable, you are more likely to be

well sei*ved. A clerk likes to wait upon a pleasant
customer. Don’t expect the clerk to display all the

goods for your benefit, especially if they do not suit

your puiTJOse. Never leave while she is searching for

something about which you have inquired. Leave with

a “Thank 3'ou,” even if j'ou did' not find what you

wanted.

Making scenes is ill-mannered. Complain to the

floor manager, if necessary, and jmu will receive fair

treatment.

Don’t insist on pulling down “ceiling prices.” Buy

according to j'our means.

Cany your parcels gracefully so that others maj'

pass you with safety’.

Restaui'ant

IT IS IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE BECOME
ACQUAINTED WI'TH CORRECT PROCEDURE IN

PUBLIC EATING PLACES. Not all these places are

proper for ladies. Gentlemen should be mindful of this.

If there is no waiter, the gentleman leads the way

to the table. He pulls out the chair and helps the lady

remove her wraps. They may be laid over the back

of her chair. She never removes her hat. He hangs

70



his coat and hat on a rack near the table, unless they

have been checked at the door. He never takes his

hat to the table. Parcels may be placed on the lap or

on the floor, unless there is an empty chair. Handker

chiefs should be kept off the table.

If the waiter does not hand the lady a menu card,

her escort should. Everyone should know that a la carte

(a la kart) orders (separate items from the card) cost

more than the table d’hote (ta-b’l dote’) meal (the

regular dinner at a set price) . Ladies should not order

a dinner if they have been invited to have a luncheon or

a snack. Exceeding the

limit ©f the average al-

lowance usually leads to

the lessening of invita-

tions. If she is not sure

of her escort’s means, a

lady will ask him to order

for her or order some- jUj

thing inexpensive. Even \1 y
if he is wealthy, she will ^

be moderate. Gentlemen

are wise to give tentative suggestions
;
she should take

the hint. He gives the orders to the waitress. When

two ladies are dining together, each gives her own

order unless one is acting as hostess. The same rule

holds for men.

BE COURTEOUS TO THE WAITRESS. She can-

not retaliate without being in danger of losing her

position. She may be more refined than you. You

may have more money; she, more manners. It is

proper to tip the waitress at least ten per cent of the

71



amount of your bill. If you want extra service from

her, politely call her. Do not try to get her attention

by whistling or tapping on a glass.

Comments on the food ought to be confined to ap-

proval. Do not ask for things not on the menu. Never

be ashamed to admit that it is a day of fast or

abstinence.

MASTER GOOD TABLE MANNERS AND USE
THEM ALWAYS. Customs in localities vary in regard
to details, but there is no diversity of opinion on

fundamentals. Choose the foods you know how to

handle.

Conversation should be cheerful and natural. Gossip

or personal affairs should be avoided. A newspaper
should not be read unless one is alone.

Never arrange the hair or adjust clothing at table.

Ladies will keep the mirror and compact in their purses.

The well-mannered person will never use a toothpick

except in private.

When you enter or leave a restaurant and chance to

see acquaintances, do not stop at their table. You force

them to ask you to sit with them. Even if asked to

join, decline unless they insist. Should someone stop

to speak to you while you are seated, the gentleman

rises, placing his napkin on the table unless the speaker

be an equal. Ladies do not rise unless approached by

a much older lady. The visit should be brief, unless

the visitors are asked to be seated.

DO NOT MAKE THE RESTAURANT A SMOKER.
A pall of tobacco smoke afflicts the lungs and makes
the food tasteless. Be moderate. If you feel that

72



smoking annoys others at table, avoid it entirely. Be-

fore lighting a cigarette, it is expected that you ask

• your companion, “Do you object to my smoking?”

Never put ashes on the dishes; ask for a tray.

Mistakes are easily made, so it is correct to look over

a bill before paying it. Notice if you are to pay the

waitress or the cashier at the door.

On leaving, the gentleman will help his lady with

her coat. She precedes him in going out while he holds

the door.

Library

A TASTE FOR GOOD BOOKS will bring untold

pleasure in later years. Be guided in the choice of

books. The best minds of all times are at your disposal

and ready for your companionship through their books.

Learn the rules of the library and observe them.

Polite and accurate applications for books make the

librarian’s work easier. Never remove a book from

the library unless you have had it checked out by the

librai'ian. Common justice demands this. Be sure to

return it to the library in time; in fact, return the book

to the library before it is due if you have finished read^

ing it. Others may be waiting to get pleasure from

the same book.

73



Should you have a book that is overdue, pay the usual

library fine promptly. A fine is a fair demand of any

library. Should you lose or ruin a book, you are

obliged to pay for it.

A QUIET ATMOSPHERE should prevail in the

library. Cease talking immediately upon entering.

Walk noiselessly. Libraries should be used for reading

or study. Do not lounge in any part. Going there to

visit with friends will disturb others. The only recre-

ation that should be had in a library is that which

comes from quiet reading.

It is against all rules of good manners to eat candy

or anything else in a library.

Remember that any book that is taken out in your

name is your responsibility. For this reason do not

loan a book to another. It is better for you to return

the book to the library and let your friend draw it on

his own card. But in any case, as long as the book is

out in your name, you are responsible for it.

Never lay an open book face downward on the table.

Do not use a pencil or any such thick article for a book-

mark. This ruins the binding. Avoid turning down

the edge of a page to mark your place. Use a flat

bookmark. It is far better to lose your place in a book

than to injure it through the use of improper book-

marks.

Never leave a library book, or any book of your own,

lying around, much less out of doors. Never place a

book on top of a radiator. Heat dries out the binding

and ruins the book.

74



Large, heavy books should not be held in the hands

;

they should be laid on the table while you are using

them. Otherwise the binding is loosened.

Do not leave books that you have been reading on

the chairs in the library. Librarians prefer that you

leave them on the table.

IT IS SHEER VANDALISM TO TEAR A PAGE
OUT OF A BOOK, no matter how important the ref-
erence may be to you. To steal a book is a sin. It is

always wrong to deface or to mar a book in any way.

DO NOT GET THE HABIT OF BORROWING

BOOKS FROM OTHERS. Should a friend loan you
one from his private collection, be absolutely certain

that you return it promptly. People who do not return

books they have borrowed are a plague to thousands

of book lovers.
;

MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS should be re-
placed in their proper place in the magazine racks. It

is very unfair to others and opposed to library rules

to take magazines or newspapers out of the library.

Should you bring your own personal copy of a news-

paper to the library to read, be sure that you fold it up

and take it with you when you leave. After reading

a newspaper in the library or anywhere else, always

turn the pages back to their proper order and neatly

fold the paper. Some people leave unfolded papers

lying around. Courtesy demands that the paper or

magazine be left in the proper order for the next reader.

Do not throw or leave any waste paper on the floor

or on the tables. Quietly crumple the paper and put

it into your pocket or into the wastebasket. Should

75



you see paper on the floor, pick it up. Help to keep

the library neat. When you rise from your chair, be

sure to place it back in the proper place against the

table. Show appreciation for services given you. Leave

quietly.

ii!^

76



GOOD MANNERS IN CONTACTS

Introductions

LEARN THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES THAT
GOVERN INTRODUCTIONS; then even an ambassa-
dor will not cause you to lose your poise. Both persons

are to be introduced; one is being introduced to the

other. The older or more important person is addressed

first. The woman or girl is addressed first when a

man is being presented. (Note exception below.)

THE WELL-BRED WILL USE THESE FORMS IN

INTRODUCING.

Informal: “May I introduce Miss Smith.”

“I w'ould like to have you meet Robert

Walker.”

“Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones.”

“Miss Brown, this is Mr. Gold.”

Formal: “May I present Senator Walsh.” This form

is reserved for presentation to persons in

high positions, as the President of the

United States.

A PERSON OF GRACE WILL AVOID THESE IN-
CORRECT FORMS OF INTRODUCTION:

“Miss Smith, shake hands with Mr. Blade,” or

“Meet Mr. Lord.” Do not make an introduction com-

pulsory.
'

77



“Miss Edgar, meet my friend, Ted Right.” This
implies that the other person is not your friend.

“Mr. Murry, I want to make you acquainted with

Mrs. Fossum.” This is too long and awkward.

Jealously regard these properties of precedence in

introductions: A gentleman is introduced to a lady:
“Miss Brown, this is Mr. Gold.” Exceptions to this rule

are: clergy, older persons, royal personages, and per-

sons of high rank
;
in which case the form is reversed':

“Your Excellency, Bishop McGavick, may I present

Miss Jones.”

Introduce a young person to an older person: “Mrs.

Smith, Mary Miles.” A single woman is presented to

a married woman: “Mrs. Thompson, I would like to

have you meet Miss Lind.”

Introduce a person of lower rank to a person of

higher rank: “Major Bond, Ensign Willington.” In-

troduce everyone (except high dignitaries) to your

mother: “Mother, this is Elaine Ross.” At school,

this order is reversed, because the teachers serve as

78



hostesses to visiting parents. “Mr. Rund, our gym

intructor, this is my mother.” Introduce your mother

or friend to a Sister : “Sister Mary, my mother.”

YOUR RESPONSE TO INTRODUCTIONS should be

colored by poise and cordiality

:

“How do you do.” This is not said with a rising
inflection; it is not meant as a question.

“How do you do, Mr. Cummings.” Repeating the
name gives the nice touch of an alert mind.

“I have heard Tom speak of you often,” or, “I’ve
been wanting to meet you,” or, “I am very glad to
know you.” Use these forms if you are sincerely glad

to meet the person.

These expressions are taboo:

“Pleased to meet you.” You can’t be so sure at

the first meeting.

“Charmed.” This carries an air of affectation and

insincerity.

THE MATTER OF STANDING AND OF SHAK-
ING HANDS. A man always stands for an introduction.
A woman remains seated when being introduced to a
man, unless he is an elder or a distinguished person.

A younger woman stands when introduced to an older
woman.

A man always shakes hands with another man upon
introduction. A woman may, or may not, shake hands
as she chooses. However, if a hand be proffered, in

all courtesy she should not refuse it.

Personality is expressed in a handshake. Use a

pleasant grip that will create a favorable impression;



then, begin a pleasant conversation. Ease off your

introduction with such courteous remarks as: “I hope

I will meet you again,” “I enjoyed meeting you.” The

response may be: “Thank you,” or “It was mutual.”

The above remarks are superfluous for brief, casual

introductions.

Telephone Calls

YOUR VOICE IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS
TO CONSIDER in a telephone conversation. Speak

slowly and politely, not too softly or too loud.

These are correct forms for answering:

“This is Wilton, 0872.”

“Milton’s residence.”

“Milton’s residence, Mary speaking.”

“Mary Milton speaking,” or merely your name,

“Mary Milton.”

If the call comes for one of the members of the

family, answer: “He is here; I will call him.” Or say,

“I’m sorry, he is not here. May I take the message or

your number?”

In business calls, answer the phone according to the

instruction of your employer. Some correct business

forms are:

“Station WKBH. Good morning.”
“Good afternoon. Singer Sewing Machine Service

Center.”

“A. W. Miles Law Firm, Miss Smith speaking.”

WHIEN CALUNG, do not demand, “Who is this?”

Ask for the person to whom you wish to speak. The

80



telephone is not the place for jokes or gossip. Don’t

annoy your family by being coy and endlessly giggly

over the phone. Girls should not

call boys except in real necessity.

Besides cheapening the girl, it

places the boy in an uncomfortable

position. Be discreet in the time

you call. An interrupted meal or

disturbed slumber is annoying to

others. The person who makes the

call is the one to close it. When

using the phone, consider not only

the person at the other end of the

wire, but also the desire and needs

of your household. That means no

monopoly.

Courtesy to the operator is always in order. “Please’"

and “Thank you” are always in place.

Letter Writing '

'raERE IS GREAT JOY IN HAVING THE POST-
MAN BRING A LETTER ADDRESSED TO YOU.
Yet, letter writing is a two-way traffic. You must

reciprocate. Correspondence is becoming a lost art

in these days of the handy telephone and the “Why not

wire ?” campaign.

A CERTAIN MARK OF A THOUGHTFUL, DE-
VOTED PERSONALITY IS A LETTER. Since your
personality is revealed in your writing, always attempt

to write a charming letter. You say it is hard to

write a letter? Do not settle down and begin compos-

81



ing a foiinal composition. That is not a letter. That

is not the way you talk. Letter writing is conversa-

tion on paper to one who is absent. Be simple and un-

affected. Imagine that the person to whom you are

writing is sitting before you. Even put your pet ex-

pressions in your letter; then it will sound like you.

This, of course, does not mean that you ai’e to be

indiscreet or careless in your writing. The spoken

word is easily forgotten, but the written word is more

permanent. Never make a statement in writing that

you would not like published under your name.

MUST LETTERS. There are certain types of cor-
respondence that are required among cultured people.

These include: Thank you let-

ters for gifts received, for

favors granted, for apprecia-

tion of sympathy expressed.

Bread-and-butter letters for

hospitality that has been re-

ceived. Acceptance or regret

letters that allow no procras-

tination, for the convenience

of the host. Congratulation

letters at time of weddings,

births, successes, promotions, championships, anniver-

saries. Introductory letters from one acquaintance to

another. Letters to the sick. Letters to service men.

Letters to parents, weekly, when you are away from

home. Letters to elders who have been good to you

—

teachers, confessors, coaches.

Besides these social requirements, there are busi-

ness “musts”: replies to questions asked; gratitude for

82



help given; acknowledgment of gratuitous goods re-

ceived; reservations and appointments; notation of

business begun or bills paid; adjustments to satisfy

complaints.

APPEARANCE. Use good quality stationery for

your correspondence. White is preferable. Should

you desire individuality, don’t resort to gaudily colored,

freakish paper. Rather have your monogram or ad-

dress on the first page. Keep straight, clean-cut mar-

gins on both sides of the paper and one inch from the

bottom. Friendly letters are written in one’s own

hand. If lengthy, however, typewritten friendly let-

ters have become acceptable. In either case, be sure

the letter has an attractive legible appearance. Never

omit the heading. Do not use abbreviations. Write

out the lesser numerals—as, two, nine, ten—in the
body of the letter.

LETTER PROPER. Informal salutation to a friend:

Dear Robert, Dearest Mary. Formal salutation to an

acquaintance : My dear Mr. Smith. Business form for
inside address and salutation:

Crown Canning Company
372 Madison Street

Chicago, Illinois
’

Informal close: Lovingly yours. Devotedly yours. Af-

fectionately yours. Formal close: Sincerely yours.

Yours with best wishes. Business close: Yours truly.

Sincerely yours. Very truly yours. For a high digni-

tary or religious: Respectfully yours,

BUSINESS LETTERS. You write a business letter

for a purpose. A business letter must always be neatly

83



and carefully prepared. Be brief, to the point, and

definite. If you are seeking information that will

benefit you, enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope

or clip a loose stamp to the letter. Never sign a letter

with Mr., Mrs., or Miss. A married woman indicates
her position in this way:

Very truly yours,

Mary Jones Smith
(Mrs. Robert Smith)

Do not use hackneyed expressions; as “Thanking

you in advance,” “Hoping to be favored with a prompt

reply, I am ...” Be direct. “I hope I shall hear

from you soon.”

In sending order letters, quote the catalog and num-

ber, as well as the description of the article wanted.

State whether you are enclosing a remittance or want

the goods sent “collect.” Note that in orders, “Please

send me” is preferable to the outmoded “Kindly

send me.”

Two extremes to be avoided in letters of application

are the cocksure, know-it-all type and the timid apolo-

getic type. Be confident, natural, and sincere. Avoid

trite expressions and show that you can think for your-

self. A letter reeking with mistakes in English and
spelling and worn-out expressions suggests a careless

worker.

In your letters, indicate your eagerness to be of use.

It is well to give references
;
but secure the permission

of the person whose name is being given for reference.

Specify in your last paragraph that you can come for

84



an interview at any time. Give both your address and

telephone number.

Letter Forms

CARDINAL

Address on envelope: His Eminence William

Cardinal O’Connell

Salutation: Your Eminence:

Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to be with

profound respect Your Eminence’s most humble

servant,

ARCHBISHOP

Address on envelope: The Most Reverend Samuel

A. Stritch, D.D.

Salutation; Your Excellency

:

Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to be with

profound respect Your Excellency’s most obedi-

ent servant,

BISHOP

Address on envelope: The Most Reverend Alex-

ander J. McGavick, D.D.

Salutation; Your Excellency:

Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to be Your

Excellency’s humble servant,

ABBOT

•Address on envelope: The Right Reverend Dom
Alcuin Deutsch, O.S.B.

Salutation : Father Abbot or My Lord

:

Conclusion of letter : I am. Right Reverend Abbot,

Your devoted servant.

85



MONSIGNOR

Address on envelope: The Rt. Rev. Msgr. Peter

Pape

Salutation: Right Reverend and dear Monsignor:

Conclusion of letter: I am, Right Reverend Mon-

signor, Sincerely yours,

RELIGIOUS-ORDER PRIEST

Address on envelope: The Rev. Eugene N. Mc-

Guigan, C.S.Sp.

Salutation: Dear Reverend Father:

Conclusion of letter: I am, Reverend Father,

Benedictine and Cistercian Monks and Canons

Regular are called “Father,” but addressed as

“Dom,” thus: The Reverend Dom Joseph Kreut-
er, O.S.B.

SECULAR PRIEST

Address on envelope: The Rev. Leroy Keegan

Salutation: Dear Reverend Father: Reverend and

dear Father:

Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours,

BROTHER

Adress on envelope : Brother Francis Greimer, S.M.

Salutation: Dear Brother Francis:

Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours,

SUPERIOR OF AN ORDER OF SISTERS
Address on envelope: Mother M. Gertrude

Salutation: Dear Mother Superior:

Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours,

SISTER

Addi’ess on envelope: Sister Mary Agnes
Salutation: Dear Sister Mary Agnes:
Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours.



THE PRESIDENT

Address on envelope: The President, Washing-

ton, D. C.

Salutation: Mr. President: or. Sir:

Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain.

Most respectfully yours,

THE VICE-PRESIDENT

Address on envelope: The Vice-President, Wash-

ington, D. C.

Salutation: Mr. Vice-Presdent : or. Sir: or. My
dear Mr. Vice-President:

Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain

Most respectfully yours,

GOVERNOR
Address on envelope: His Excellency, the Gover-

nor, Madison, Wisconsin, or. The Honorable

Walter S. Goodland, Governor of Wisconsin

Salutation: Sir: or. Dear Sir:

Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain

Yours faithfully,

U. S. (or State) SENATOR

Address on envelope: The Honorable Robert M.

LaFollette, Senator from Wisconsin, Washing-

ton, D. C.

Salutation: Sir: or. My dear Sir:
Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain

Your very truly,

CONGRESSMAN (also Member of a State Legislature)
Address on envelope: The Honorable William H.

Stevenson, House of Representatives, Washing-

ton, D. C.

Salutation: Sir: or. My dear Sir:
Conclusion of letter: Believe me. Yours very truly.

87



MAYOR
Address on envelope: His Honor, the Mayor, City

Hall, La Crosse, Wisconsin

Salutation: Sir: or. Dear Sir:

Conclusion of letter: Believe me. Very truly yours,

GENERAL in Military Service
Address on envelope : General D. H. MacArthur

Salutation: Sir: My dear Sir: Dear Sir: My dear
General MacArthur

:

Conclusion of letter: Yours sincerely,

ADMIRAL in Naval Service

Address on envelope: Admiral William D. Leahy

Salutation: Sir: My dear Sir: Dear Sir: My dear
Admiral Leahy:

Conclusion of letter: Yours sincerely.

In official correspondence between officers of the

service, the ordinary ceremonial beginnings and end-

ings are omitted, and a purely military or naval form

is substituted.

. J

A wife never shares her husband’s official titles.
The wife of every American is Mrs.

—
“The President

and Mrs. Roosevelt.’’ “Doctor and Mrs. Smith.’’

Interviews

WHEN POSSIBLE, REQUEST AN APPOINT-
MENT FOR AN INTERVIEW. It is better to include
a letter of recommendation with your written applica-

tion rather than present it in a personal call. Caution

should be observed in asking for letters of recommenda-

tion. You may speak with your teacher, principal, or

fonner employers about your intention of applying for

88



certain work. If they wish to commit themselves, they

will offer to recommend you.

WHEN YOU CALL ON YOUR PROSPECTIVE
EMPLOYER, be sure that your clothes are clean, neat,

and well pressed. Do not - appear cheap by gaudy

dressing, or slovenly by careless dressing, but have

the businesslike appearance of being carefully and

choicely groomed.

A GENTLEMAN REMOVES HIS HAT AS HE EN-
TERS THE OFFICE. Be sure that you are not loaded

with bundles or even have a newspaper in your hand.

Stand until your employer recognizes you and indi-

cates that you are to be seated. Let the employer

lead in the conversation, lest you talk yourself out of

a position. Answer his questions trathfully. Have

the self-confidence that comes from the recognition

of your ability. Then you will not fail because of

overconfidence or of apologetic inferiority. Be calm

and natural and careful not to drag out the interview.

You, rather than the employer, should rise for dis-

missal. Thank him for the time he has given for the

interview, and be as pleasant as you were when you

arrived, even if you did not get the position.

Repeat your gratitude in a brief note the day after

the interview. State again your qualifications and

the reasons you have for believing you should be

selected for the position.

Public Meetings

LEADING THE MEETING. If you are an officer,
study human nature so that you will be able to get all

89



members to participate beneficially without inflicting

pain on anj^one.

When conducting a meeting, start promptly, no mat-

ter how few are present. If you plan your meeting

beforehand and follow parliamentary law, you will

avoid unintelligent thinking and slipshod methods.

Unless the constitution of your organization specifies

otherwise, follow the accepted order of business given

by Roberts

:

1. Call to order.

2. Reading of minutes and their approval.

3. Reports.

4. Unfinished business.

5. New business.

6. Adjournment.

If a program is presented, it follows the business

meeting. In small groups, a roll call of members is

often included after the call to order.

Speak clearly and distinctly so the members will

have no difficulty in understanding you.

See that the speakers chosen and the projects pro-

posed are in accord with the needs of the organization.

In discussions, be guided by the fundamental prin-

ciples of parliamentary law—justice and charity. Be
careful to observe the eight definite steps for procedure

in handling a motion:

1. Member rises and addresses chair.

2. Chair recognizes member by saying his name

or nodding.

3. Member states his motion.

90



4. Chairman asks for second if one is not offered

voluntarily.

5. Chairman states motion.

6. Chairman asks for discussion if it is a debat-

able motion.

7. When discussion ceases, chairman restates mo-

tion and asks for vote.

8. Chairman asks for result of vote and declares

that the motion has passed or failed.

ATTENDING THE MEETING. Do not disturb

others by coming late. Be in your place when the

meeting begins.

Pay courteous attention to the chairman. Never

show you are bored during the meeting. Avoid com-

menting in whispers to your neighbor, chewing gum,

or disturbing others in any way.

Before you rise to discuss a question or make a mo-

tion, use the following mental check: Are my remarks

in order? Have they already been stated? Is the

proposition worth stating?

When you stand for discussion, speak loud enough

for all to hear. If you are not the main speaker, say

what you have to say briefly.

Do not be selfish when casting your vote. Think

first of the organization, not of your personal

advantage.

If you have something worth-while to say, stand up

and say it. Don’t join the poor member group who

say nothing at a meeting but become voluble after-

wards. You will benefit from an organization in the

measure of your participation in its activities.

91



MISCELLANEOUS GOOD MANNERS

MAINTAIN THE GREAT-

EST RESPECT AND LOVE
FOR YOUR COUNTRY.
When the national anthem

is played or when the flag

passes by, stand at atten-

tion. A man in military
uniform gives the salute; a

man in civilian clothes re-

moves his hat with his

right hand, which he holds

over his heart. A hatless
man and a woman place the

right hand over the heart,

or just stand erect with arms straight at the side.

When the flag is carried in procession with other flags,

it should be on the marching right (the flag’s own

right) or in the front of center. When the flag is

hung against a wall, it should be flat with the union

uppermost and to the flag’s own right (the left of the

spectator)

.

The national flag is never lowered or dipped as a

salute. The flag should not be used for advertising

or as part of a costume. It should never be draped

over automobiles, tables, and chairs, or festooned or

gathered into a rosette.

92



A GENTLEMAN TIPS HIS HAT WHEN:

1. He passes a church.

2. He meets a priest or a religious.

3. A gentleman with him speaks to a woman
acquaintance.

4. A lady with him speaks to an acquaintance.
5. He speaks to a lady, even if she is a stranger

asking for directions.

6. He meets a lady and when they part.

7. He has an occasion to speak to a lady, if it be

nothing more than “Madam, is this your pack-

age?” Also, when she thanks him for having

recovered her package.

HE REMOVES HIS HAT WHEN:

1. He enters a church.

2. He enters his own home or another’s^

3. He speaks to his mother or any lady.

4. He enters a room where women are (excluding

office buildings, stores, depots).

93



5. He enters an elevator in a hotel, club, or apart-

ment house. Elevators in office buildings and

stores are regarded as a continuation of halls,

and hats may be kept on.

Calls and Calling Cards

CALLING CARDS ARE USUALLY ENGRAVED.
Having one’s address on them is optional. A man’s
title may be abbreviated, but his name is spelled out

in full. A young lady’s name is spelled out in full.
Young ladies of sixteen may begin to use the title

“Miss” on their cards.

General card-leaving is going out of fashion. It is

still correct, however, to leave cards before asking a

stranger to accept your hospitality. A man should
leave his card after being entertained or invited to a

dinner dance, or any social function by a lady. Usually

one leaves one’s card after a first call and within a few

days after a first invitation, whether accepted or not.

Send cards with wedding presents, flowers for a

funeral, or with flowers for a debutante. A card may
also be sent to notify a change of address. Sending

your card with flowers to a sick friend is laudable.

The kind of call determines its length. Fifteen to

twenty minutes is proper for a formal call. “At home”

calls may last from thirty minutes to one hour. Inform-

al calls may extend from ten minutes to two hours,

depending on company and circumstances.

The time to call should be considered. Between

three and five in the afternoon is proper. Formal calls

94



may be made between three-thirty and four-thirty.

Men and business women may call on Sundays or after

the dinner hour in the evening.

A visit of condolence should be paid at once to a
friend after a death in the immediate family. A lady
writes a note of sympathy to a gentleman instead of

making a call. A visit of congratulations is paid to a
new mother, and a gift is presented to the baby. If

a relative announces his engagement, you must go to

see his fiancee. To visit the sick is more than just

good manners
;
it is one of the works of mercy. Do not

prolong your visit to a sickroom. Observe the “No

visitors” sign if there is one. It is a direct slight not

to return a first call within ten days.

,
RESPECT PUBLIC PROPERTY. Writing on the

walls of public buildings, marring pictures and statues,

picking flowers in parks, are violations of this respect.

A GIFT IS A TOKEN OF ESTEEM. You can ex-
press this on paper if you are unable to do so with an

object. Gentlemen should not give lady friends per-

sonal gifts unless they are engaged. Flowers and

candy are appropriate. Do not give gifts more expen-

sive than you can afford. Ladies should never give

presents to men to encourage this attention. A box
of her homemade candy or some article which fits in

with her friend’s hobby or special interest is proper.

95



GOOD MORALS AND GOOD MANNERS

GOOD MORALS ARE ALWAYS GOOD MANNERS

;

bad morals can never be good manners. Christ and His

Blessed Mother had perfect manners. They are your

models; imitate them and you will be refined and

good. Always remember that you are a child of God

and an heir of heaven
;
that you were made by God to

know Him, love Him, and serve Him in this life, and

by this means to save your soul.

BEWARE OF BAD COMPANIONS; THEY WILL
RUIN YOU. In speaking of evil associates, Christ

Himself said through His apostle St. Paul : “Evil com-

panionships corrupt good morals” (1 Cor. 15, 33).

Your companions are of the wrong kind if you are less

good because of your association with them. General

Robert E. Lee was known to all for his good) manners.

May you always remem'ber the advice which he gave to

his son: “Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or

keep one.”

SIN IS AN ACT OF DISLOYALTY TO CHRIST, an
act of surrender to His enemy, the devil. Always be

loyal to our Lord and to His service. There is some-

96



thing very attractive about virtue. There never was,

and there never will be, a substitute for goodness
;
you

must have the real article.

BE PURE IN THOUGHT, WORD, AND DEED if

you would be a lady or a gentleman after the heart of

Christ. The clean of heart are dear to God. Of them

He said: “Oh, how beautiful is the chaste generation

with gloiy. For the memory thereof is immortal, be-

cause it is known both with God and men. ... It tri-

umpheth crowned forever, winning the reward of un-

defiled conflicts” (Wisdom 4, 1-2).

KEEP YOUR MIND CLEAN, and your words and
deeds will be pure. Improper magazines, pictures, and

shows have ruined the souls of many through the im-

pure thoughts they have caused. At times improper

thoughts will come to your mind against your will.

Never entertain them or dwell upon them, but say a

short prayer and turn your thoughts to other things;

keep yourself busy with work and wholesome play.

God condemns impurity of thought : “Evil thoughts are

an abomination to the Lord” (Proverbs 11, 26).

NEVER SAY A WORD OR TELL A STORY that
will stain your soul or the souls of your companions.

There is nothing manly about a dirty story or sugges-

tive remark
;
on the contrary, improper conversation

marks a person as improper company for any decent

Catholic. Listen to these words: “Pure words, most

beautiful, shall be confirmed by Him” (Proverbs 15,

26) . “He that loveth cleanness of heart, for the grace

of his lips shall have the king for his friend” (Pro-

verbs 22, 11).

97



NOTHING MORE BECOMES A CHRISTLIKE PER-
SONAUTY THAN PURITY OF ACTION. At all
times and in all places, whether alone or with others,

be clean and chaste. Gentlemen should remember

that ladies in their company are to be protected. Never

by the slightest word, suggestion, or action make them

less modest or less good. May you always prove true

to the ideals that you have been taught bj’’ your Alma

Mater; may you always be a “knight without reproach,”

and a lady without stain. You are a child of Mary.

Through frequent prayer to her, and through frequent

reception of Him in the Blessed Sacrament, and

through your co-operation with grace, you will always

be a worthy member of Christ’s Mystical Body. The

Church will be proud of you; Mary will bless you;

Christ will reward you, for He said: “Blessed are the

pure of heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 1, 8).

Brave and chivalrous like the knight. Sir Gareth, in

Tennyson’s Idylls of the King, may you live and die

with his ideals:

Man am I grown, a man’s work must I do;
Follow the deer? Follow Christ the King;

live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the

King

—

Else, wherefore born?

Pray that Christ the Gentleman and Mary the Lady,

through Christ, will give you strength to be gentle,

courage to be kind, and thouhtfulness to express Chris-

tian charity in terms of good mannei's.

98



BIBLIOGRAPHY

Allen, Betty and Briggs, Michell Pirie. Behave Your-

self! Philadelphia; J. B. Lippincott Company, 1937.

Bailey, Beth. Meal Planning and Table Service. Peoria

:

The Manual Arts Press, 1938.

Bliss, Walton B. Personality and School. Chicago:

Allyn and Bacon, 1938.

Bowdern, William S., S.J. Good Manners. Prairie

du Chien, Wisconsin: Campion.

Boykin, Eleanor. This Way Please. New York: Mac-
millan, 1940.

Faculty of the South Philadelphia High School for

Girls. Everyday Manners for American Boys and

Girls. New York; Macmillan, 1934.

Gardner, Horace J., and Farren, Patricia. Courtesy

Book. Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott Company,

1937.

Goodrich, Lawrence B. Living with Others. Chicago

:

American Book Company, 1939.

Greer, Carlotta C. Your Home and You. Chicago:
Allyn and Bacon, 1942.

Lansing, Florence. The Builder. Chicago : Bruce Pub-

lishing Company, 1936.

Lord, Daniel A., S.J. Pardon My Manners. St. Louis

:

The Queen’s Work, 1935.

Lord, Daniel A., S.J. Youth Says: These Are Good

Manners. St .Louis: The Queen’s Work, 1939.

99



McLean, Beth Bailey. Good Manners. Peoria: The

Manual Arts Press, 1934.

National Catholic Almanac. Paterson, New Jersey:
St. Anthony’s Guild, 1943.

Post, Emily. Etiquette. New York: Funk & Wagnalls
Company, 1942.

Rooney, Richard L., S.J. Christ, You and Routine.

St. Louis: The Queen’s Work, 1941.

Rooney, Richard L., S.J. Courtesy in Christ: St. Louis:

The Queen’s Work, 1941.

Sister James Stanislaus. Manner and Good Manners.

Chicago: Benziger Brothers, 1929.

Sister Mary St. Remi, B.V.M. A Study Club Outline
on the Development of Charm and Personality.
Ypsilanti: University Lithoprinters, 1942.

Sister Mary Virgina, B.V.M. Enriching Your Life.
Chicago: Follett Publishing Company, 1936.

Wilson, Margery. The Woman You Want to Be. Phila-
delphia: J. B. Lippincott Company, 1942.

100



INDEX

Anniversaries, 15

Appearance, 9, 36, 44, 47

Artichokes, 30

Bathroom, 14

Belloc, 63

Booing, 61

Books, 73

Bread, 27

Buses, 65

Business letters, 83

Butter, 27

Calls, 94-96

Cards, calling, 94-96

Celery, 27

Chaperons, 54

"Cheapness," 58

Cheese, 28

Church, good manners in, 9-12

Cleanliness, 45

Cocktail, 25

Coffee, 31

Confession, 12

Contacts, 77-91

Correspondence, 81-88

Country, respect for, 92

Dances, 51-56

Dating, 56-59

DaVinci, 44

Dessert, 26

Dinner, 20

Formal, 20

At home, 21

Dress, 44-48

Appropriateness in, 44

Business, 47

Evening, 47

School, 46

Simplicity in, 45

Style and color, 45

Driving, 58

Eating, 55, 65, 66, 71

Fingerbowl, 32

Fish, 28

Flag, 92

Fork, 22

Fowl, 28

Franklin, Benjamin, on games,

60

Fruit, 30

Pits and seeds, 29

Games, 60-62

Gifts, 95

Gloves, 46

Grace at meals 21

Gratitude, 55, 63, 69, 71, 89

Hall, Florence, on conversation,

52

Hats, 46

When to tip, 92

When to remove, 93

Holy Communion, 11

Holy Mass, 10

Home, good manners in, 13-18

Honesty, 42

Interviews, 88

Introductions, 77-80

101



Knife, 22

Leadership, 42

Letter forms, 85-89

Letter writing, 81-89

Application, 84

Business, 83

Lettuce, 30

Library, 73-76

Lobster, 29

Loyalty, 14-38-41

Mass, Holy, 10

Meats, 28

Modesty, 56

Morals, good, 96-98

Morning prayer, 13

Napkin, 21

"Necking and petting," 59

Newman, Cardinal, 10, 52

Occupation, choice of, 40

Olives, 27

Parliamentary procedure, 90

Parties, 51-56

Passing, food, 24

Pits and seeds, 29

Potatoes, 29

Prayer, 10, 13

Public meetings, 90-91

Public places, good manners in,
63-76

Punctuality, 10, 19, 37, 41, 50

Purity, 96-98

Radio, 17

Radishes, 27

Recreation, good manners at,
49-62

Driving, 59

Games, 60-62

Parties and dances, 51

Theater, 49

Restaurant, 70-73

Saint Paul, on dress, 48

Salutation, correct, 85-88

Salute, flag, 92

School, good manners at, 36-39

Seating, 15, 20, 49, 70

Self-restrait, 51, 62

Servants, consideration for 18

Shakespeare, on voice, 52

Shopping, 69

Sign of the Cross, 9

Smoking, 65, 69, 72

Soup, 25

Spoon, 22

Street, 67-69

Street cars, 65-66

Table manners, 19-35

At home, 21-32

Miscelaneous, 32-35

In restaurant, 70

Teachers, 39

Telephone, 17-80

Tennyson, Alfred, on following

Christ, 98

Theater, 49-51

Tips, 65

Train, 64

Unselfishness, 13, 63, 66, 69, 75

Voice, 49, 64, 67, 80

Work, good manners at, 40-43

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102



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