Do it

yourself

Please don’t leave it to the Sisters. They can never do

it as well as you, and certainly, not without you. They

can help you, but only if you do your part first.

Your child is your flesh and blood, not theirs. During

his first fifteen years he spends ten times as many hours

at home as in church and school combined. You, his par-

ents, are the greatest single forming influence in his life.

You are his first, his best, his most influential teachers.

You are his hero and heroine in spite of all you may hear

of what “Sister said.”

Your relationship with your child is the most important

relationship in his life. The influence of your mind upon

his mind, of your personality upon his personality, of

your character upon his character, is greater than that

of all the Sisters who will ever share in molding his spirit.

You are the divinely-appointed living means of communi-

cation between God and your child.

- 3 -



From the time you became partners with God in bring-

ing him into the world, your every decision has been made

with him in mind. You have accepted lesser responsibili-

ties for his welfare, why entrust to others your greatest?

Why surrender to others the most exciting and satisfying

joy the Lord reserved for you ?

To form your little Christian after the pattern of Christ

and to prepare him for the closest union possible with

Christ in this world, is your most glorious right and privi-

lege. Incidentally, it is also your most sacred and reward-

ing obligation. To accomplish it, Christ gave you at the

time of your marriage, special sacramental graces: a right

to all the helps you will ever need. You have only to ask

for them. The Sisters receive no such sacramental graces.

Across the nation today “Do It Yourself” programs,

ranging from “Toni” permanents to building a house,

occupy the attention, energies and talents of our people.

At the same time a national survey reveals that Catholic

parents are leaving to the Sisters almost entirely the reli-

gious education of their children. In ages supposedly less

enlightened (?) and less progressive (?) than our own,

parents jealously guarded their almost exclusive “Do It

Yourself” program of working with the Holy Spirit to

develop the God-life of their little ones. It was not until

the 1700’s that they enlisted the help of the Sisters!

What visual aid can a teaching Sister use to impart a

knowledge of the tremendous love and power of our

Father, God, that is more effective than the Father’s liv-

- 4 -



ing representative in the family, the natural father of

your child? What classroom procedures or teaching tech-

niques can more effectively enable a child to realize, be-

come keenly aware of what happened to him at Baptism

when Christ gave him a new life and brought him into

His own family, than the experience of living that life at

home in the intimacy of his natural family?

Between the ages of 2 and 5 your child adopts the fun-

damental attitudes which characterize his religious life. He

does not come under the influence of the Sisters until he

is 6. Even now, you may have to make up for lost time,

if that is possible.

Some shrink from the task for fear of what it requires.

But what does it require? Certainly not drill in Catechism

definitions, memorization of prayers and a formula for

confession

!

The task calls for the giving of knowledge, but even

more for the development of a spirit. “Intellectual school-

ing will be of little value if it is not accomplished by an

education that takes in not only the intellect but the will

and heart.” (John XXIII)

Your child’s sense of values, attitudes and convictions

are formed more by the climate, the atmosphere in which

he lives, than by cool reasoned explanations or formal

classroom presentations. And that is exactly why the home

is the most important school there is. From infancy your

child has been catching character traits, absorbing cul-

ture, imbibing principles of life and action. His first hu-

- 5 -





man habits were formed in imitation of yours. Are they

Christian?

Christian formation means letting Christ grow up in

your child. To think and speak and act like Christ, to

share His zeal for the praise of the Father, for the ac-

complishment of the Father’s will and the salvation of all

men is his vocation since Baptism. Gradually he must

“put on the mind of the Lord Jesus Christ”: see things

as He sees them, put on them the value Christ puts on

them. Gradually he must develop a sense of the super-

natural, of mystery, and community. Where but in the

family, the natural counterpart of the Trinity, the Family

of God, can he better experience these?

Far more important than growth in knowledge of cate-

chetical formula is growth in interior spirit: jaith, hope,

love and an attitude of sincerity before God. This coupled

with the ability to make choices in favor of the Father,

and live as the “believer” his godparents professed him to

be at Baptism, can be accomplished in a School of Reli-

gion only when a 6-year course in Religion has been com-

pleted previously in the home and is continued throughout

his school years. The parochial school and the parish

school of religion are necessary adjuncts to the Home-

School. They cannot replace it.

- 7 -





A few

don'ts

1. Don’t make the mistake of thinking or speaking

about your child’s First Holy Communion as if it were a

goal. Certainly it is a decisive act in his life as a Christian

but must not be a culmination. Everything in his prepa-

ration must convince him that it is the beginning of a life-

long series of privileged moments. Speaking of the occa-

sion as “the happiest day of his life” will give a wrong

impression. Every Holy Communion should increase his

happiness.

Too much emphasis on externals such as dress, pictures

and gifts can dwarf the significance of subsequent Com-

munions. Months of eager study and intensive practice

in externals, of planning, dreaming of and shopping for a

wardrobe, climaxed by clicking cameras and flashing bulbs

as he leaves the altar rail produce an anti-climactic situ-

ation in regard to ensuing Communions.

- 9 -



Of course there should be special clothing but not fussy

or expensive clothing. Certainly there should be a sou-

venir picture, and more if desired, but never should the

thrill of the child’s encounter with the living Christ be

disrupted by flashing bulbs and distracting parents and

relatives. The moment is so sacred and sublime that it

should be guarded by silence of thought and action.

2. Don’t connect Holy Communion with confession. If

at all possible prepare him for the Sacrament of Penance

and give him opportunity to receive it months in advance

of his First Holy Communion. This will make it easier

for him to grasp the true significance of each of these

sacraments in relation to his Baptism.

3. Don’t give a wrong impression of Christ’s Presence

in the Eucharist by telling him not to chew the Host for

fear of “hurting Jesus”. Above all, don’t tell untrue stor-

ies or give threats that the Sacred Host will bleed if

received unworthily.

4. Don’t suggest that he may have difficulty swallow-

ing the Host, or in any other way, give him cause to fear.

The experience must be for him a joyous one which he

will want to repeat often.

5. Don’t give your child the heretical notion that Jesus

comes to us in Holy Communion as a reward for being

good. He will never be good enough to receive Jesus but

will need Him all his life.

6. Don’t speak of being “alone with Jesus” after re-

ceiving Communion or give the impression that receiving

- 10 -



11



Holy Communion is merely a personal experience with no

relation to the Communion of others. It is well to teach

him to “bury his face in his hands” and tell Jesus how

much he loves Him, to thank Him for coming and share

with Him the secrets of his heart. But teach also that he

is closer to all other Christians when Jesus comes to him

and gives him more power to love them.

7. Don’t tell him to close his eyes when receiving. Such

a practice makes it impossible for the priest to get his

attention if he needs to be directed to open or close his

mouth. It can result in an accident that is upsetting for

the priest and your child. It is well to tell him not to look

up at the priest at the moment of Communion and to keep

his eyes down when returning to his place. This external

helps to prevent distractions and to maintain a prayerful

and reverential attitude.

8. When you tell stories from the Bible don’t empha-

size unimportant and even imagined details so that the

religious truth is obscured, e.g., in telling the story of

Adam and Eve, don’t make so vivid the tree with its fruit

and the “snake” that tempted Eve, that your child’s fancy

is caught in these trivialities and he fails to grasp the im-

port of the tremendous loss of sanctifying grace by a single

act of disobedience. When you tell the story of Christ’s

Nativity don’t embellish your account with depths of

snow, icicles on the cave and meanness of Inn proprietors

so that the truth, God so loved people He became One of

them, is lost in a maze of untruth. When you speak of

- 12 -



Christ’s sufferings and death for us don’t emphasize “they

beat Him 5000 times”. The truth is we don’t know how

many times Christ was whipped but how horrible that

God should be chastised even once by His own creatures!

Above all, don’t burden your child’s memory and imag-

ination with legends such as the sprouting of Joseph’s rod

as God’s indication of His choice of a husband for Mary,

the consecration of Mary as a Temple virgin at the age

of three, and the names of the “kings” who visited the

Infant. Pamphlets slightly larger than this, and costing a

few cents more, will give you the benefit of the best Bibli-

cal scholarship and research. Do avail yourself of them

and teach your child only the truth.

9. Don’t clutter your home with a wealth of sentimen-

tal religious articles that give your child an unattractive

and false view of religion. If you expect him to develop

a deep and strong faith in and love for Jesus, Mary and

angels, don’t decorate your walls with pictures that depict

the awesome and powerful cherubim of Scripture as sweet

little cupids, God Incarnate as a “pretty girl”, and His

Mother as a convenient vase for your favorite plant.

10. Don’t reduce God to the level of man only in order

to make Him comprehensible to your child. Your child

has more sense of mystery than you. Develop your own

and his.

- 13 -





A few

do's

1. Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance.

2. Remember that it is a long-range and everyday pro-

gram. It cannot be completed in a few months of feverish

activity. It should begin as soon as your child is capable

of receiving sense impressions.

3. Be aware of the fact that you teach more by what

you are and do than by what you say. Fundamental atti-

tudes of faith and love will grow in your child gradually

if he sees you face the realities of life in a faithful and

loving manner. From your values, goals, and reactions to

all that happens each day, he will learn the Christian atti-

tude towards life: it is not meant to satisfy but to trans-

form. He will learn what it means to have been called by

God (in Baptism) to be His own and to live with His life.

- 15 -



4. Because children learn more through moods, sights,

sounds and activities than by reasoning and reciting, pro-

vide religious experiences in the home frequently. In the

morning and evening trace the Sign of the Cross on his

forehead and remind him that he belongs to Christ. When

he is able to draw the Sign on himself explain that by so

doing he admits that he belongs to Jesus and places him-

self under His power. Keep a filled holy water font in his

bedroom and explain the use of holy water in making the

Sign of the Cross as a renewal of his Baptism.

These and other ritual gestures, such as his father’s

parental blessing, kissing the Bible, “God’s holy Book”,

observing silence for a moment or two “to think with our

Father, God,” coupled with attitudes of faith and rever-

ence, gradually accustom him to their use and prepare

him for the greatest contact with God in the Eucharist.

Properly used, they help to develop the sense of mystery

so essential to appreciation of the Eucharist.

Noise and nervous excitable activity is at least as great

a reason for modern man’s loss of a sense of mystery as

is the tremendous extent of visualization. The sacred

must always be protected by silence. Gradually accustom

the young child to short periods of quiet during which he

learns to sense God’s Presence and to commune with our

Father, God. The mood for silent exchange with God is

brought about by your own calm, gentle manner as you

speak of God, a subdued tone which is gradually hushed

to a whisper, and a suggestion to think with God. God

- 16 -



doesn’t use voice or words when He speaks to us. He puts

thought in our minds.

Moods akin to the liturgical season or feast should be

enjoyed by the child. You will find much help in the

splendid pamphlets and full-size books describing tradi-

tional customs and family celebrations of seasons and

feasts.

5. To develop a sense of community and belonging to

God’s people, tell the child stories from the Bible that

relate God’s dealings with His people thousands of years

ago: God’s choice of a people of His own (Call of Abra-

ham), His love for them and promise to them (“You shall

be My people and I shall be your God”), His coming to

live with them as Man (Annunciation and Nativity), His

teaching and living (Public Life), His dying and bringing

Himself back to life for His people (Passion, Resurrection,

Ascension), His starting a Church, His Kingdom on earth

(Call of the Apostles, Coming of the Holy Spirit, Appoint-

ment of Peter, early preaching, Baptism), through which

He continues to live and act for His people today.

• Be careful to tell stories from the Bible in terms of Sal-

vation history: God manifesting Himself to people, deal-

ing with them and redeeming them. If they are told as

isolated stories, there is a danger that children tend to

classify them With stories similar to Snow White and the

Seven Dwarfs. Accepting them as “holy stories” or stories

with a pious coloring robs the child of just pride and joy

in his Christian heritage and belief in and love for the

- 17 -



Word of God.

Be natural in your approach, e.g., relate Scripture events

at the time they are being celebrated: Birth of Our Lord

at Christmas, passion during Lent and passiontide, Resur-

rection at Easter, and so forth. Gradually help him to

understand that Christ lives today and acts out the same

events in people. He is bom in them at Baptism, and

lives and grows in them.

6. In telling stories from the Bible, e.g., the deliver-

ance of the Hebrews from Egypt, do more than impress

your child with the truth that God worked wonders for

His people. He constantly came to them through things.

He came to Moses in the burning bush. He made the

Hebrews into His own people by bringing them safely

through the Red Sea. Water had long been recognized as

the first created source of life. (See the account of Crea-

tion in Genesis and note that it is water and the Spirit of

God that made life fruitful.) It was water and the Spirit

of God, Who went with His People in the column of cloud

and the pillar of fire, that welded the Hebrews into the

people of God. In Baptism it is a bath of water and the

Spirit Who gives life, that makes us into God’s people

today. God still comes to His people through things. He

lives and acts in us today and continues to make us holy.

For His closest union with us He chose a meal of bread

and wine. A meal is a family ceremony. It is a com-

mun-ion, union with one’s table companions, in sharing

not only the same food but also minds and hearts. Every

- 18 -



celebration includes a meal which brings about warmth,

mutual love and joy in each other’s company.

By receiving Communion, we enter into the closest

union possible with Jesus and all the members of His

family. Each Communion is a pledge of the final, never-

ending embrace. God truly comes to us under the appear-

ances of bread and wine and prepares us little by little

for the face-to-face vision.

7. This will be more comprehensible to your child if

you are careful from the beginning to avoid sentimental

presentations of “Baby Jesus.” When Christ was a Baby,

He was Baby Jesus; but He became an adult. Even from

his second Christmas your child should learn: Jesus didn’t

stay a Baby. He grew big and strong and handsome. He

died on a cross, but He came back to life. He went to

heaven and now He is alive forever. He lives on in heaven

as King of heaven and earth. And He lives on in each of

His people. How? It’s a secret. God’s secret. It’s a

mystery.

8. Begin now, if you didn’t on your wedding night or

have lapsed since making a good beginning, to have some

form of family prayer each evening. It need not be the

Rosary. It can be night prayers adapted to the ability of

the children. It can be recitation of the Psalms or any

other form on which you agree.

9. Have a regular Bible story hour at least twice a

week. As the children grow older this feature can develop

into a family religious discussion.

- 19 -





Make Sunday Mass a family affair. The sooner the

young child is taken to Church the better. It is wise to

take the toddler for a visit and tour of the Church previ-

ous to his first Sunday attendance. This offers oppor-

tunity to explain much and satisfy his healthy curiosity

without disturbing the congregation more than is neces-

sary. When you show him the statues of “Jesus’ Mommy”

and St. Joseph, the baptismal font, confessionals, sanctu-

ary lamp and other furniture, speak in a whisper and

explain that we do not talk out loud in Church because

it is God’s House and we want to hear Him speak. He

speaks without words. He puts thoughts in our minds.



When you show your little child the Tabernacle and

explain that Jesus lives behind the gold door be ready to

answer his question: “How can He fit in there?” He is

God. God is all-powerful. He can do anything He wants

to do. So that people would love Him, He became a little

Baby. His Mother and St. Joseph could hold Him in their

arms. So could the shepherds and Wise Men. When He

grew up children could sit in His lap and He could put

His Hand on their heads and bless them.

But Jesus loves you and me even more. He loves us so

much, He wants to come right inside of us. So He gave

Father (name local priest) power to change bread and

wine into Himself. Every day Father changes bread and

wine into Jesus. When Daddy and I (or Mother and I)

receive Jesus He looks like a piece of Bread. He tastes

like Bread too. But we know It is Jesus because He said

so. When you are big enough you will be able to receive

Jesus too.

9. Give your little one a child’s book with colored

pictures of Jesus to take with him to Church and vary

the books often enough to keep his interest. When he

is ready, give him one of the attractive new children’s

missals.

10. Gradually, week by week, prepare him to partici-

pate in the Mass, externally as well as interiorly. Explain

that Father is giving him a very special wish every time

he says: The Lord be with you, Dominus vobiscum.

Wouldn’t you like to make the same wish for Father

- 22 -





(name local priest)? Teach him to respond in Latin:

And with you too, Et cum spiritu tuo.

Another Saturday evening explain that Father will say

many prayers the next day asking for special blessings

and gifts of God. Ask: Do you want some more God-

beauty and God-brightness (sanctifying grace) inside of

you too? At the end of Father’s prayer then, say, “Me

too! It’s my prayer too, Lord.” Father will give us a

signal so we’ll know it’s our turn to speak. He’ll say:

per omnia saecula saeculorum, and we will say in Latin,

Amen.

At another time tell the story of Jesus’ cure of the ten

lepers, or the blind men, or any other you choose, in which

people in trouble asked Jesus to be kind to them. Talk

with your child about hard it is to be good. It’s hard for

every one to be good, even the priest. We all need Jesus’

help. The priest asks for it in every Mass. He says the

same prayer the lepers, or the blind men said: Lord, have

mercy on us. Father doesn’t ask for help for himself alone.

He asks for Jesus’ help for all God’s people. He says:

Have mercy on us. God’s people say the same prayer with

their priest. Together, all God’s people pray it in Greek,

Kyrie eleison. We pray it in Latin too, Christe eleison.

Practice the litany with the children, Daddy taking the

part of the priest and the rest of the family being the

congregation.

The occasion of receiving a letter from Grandma or

some other loved one may be used for a discussion of let-

- 24 -



••

ters and how much they mean to us. It is easy then to

speak of Jesus’ friends after He went back to heaven. His

closest friends were the Bishops of His Church. They often

wrote long letters to the other friends, God’s people, re-

minding them of different ways in which they could show

love for each other. When the people came together on

Sunday to praise God, the priests read the letter to them.



It would be well to paraphrase the following Sunday’s

Epistle for the child, something like this. “If you really

love each other you will be kind to each other. You will

not lose your temper with others. You will not think that

you are better than others. You will not be jealous of

others. You will be satisfied with what God made you

and gave you.” (I Cor. 13: 4-7; Quinquagesima Sunday.)

The people thanked God for speaking to them through

their Bishops. They said: “Thanks be to God.” And the

Holy Spirit told Jesus’ Bishops to put the letters in the

Bible. Our priest still reads them to us when we go to

Church on Sunday and we still answer: thanks be to God,

Deo gratias.

A family viewing of a televised Presidential Press

Conference offers an opportunity for an explanation of

the Gospel. Even the young child who would not be inter-

ested in national or world problems would recognize the

President and note that everyone stood when he entered

the room. He would note the attention of the listeners

and respect shown “Mr. President.”

Mention of these points sets the stage for discussion

of the message Jesus, King of the whole earth, sends to

us each Sunday. Almost every Sunday our priest reads to

us from the Bible. “Jesus said ...” and then goes on to

read what Jesus said. It is usually something that Jesus

wants us to do. Because we respect our King we stand

and listen. We want to be certain to hear what He wants

and ready to do it when we leave Church. Sometimes

- 26 -



Jesus says: “Believe Me. Trust Me.” Other times He

says: “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Before hearing our King’s message, we draw His Sign

on our forehead, lips and heart with our thumb. As we

draw the Sign of the Cross we think: “Jesus, help me to

understand Your message, to tell it to others, and to love

it.” After we hear our King’s message, we say: Praise to

You, O Christ, Laus Tibi, Christe.

Christmas is a convenient time for teaching the birth-

day song of the angels, repeated in Sunday Masses except

during penitential seasons. A natural conclusion to the

story of what happened on the hillside that night, when

the angels appeared to the shepherds, is to teach the words

of the song: Glory to God in the highest, said by our priest

in Latin, Gloria in excelsis deo. We want to praise God

with the angels and our priest. So we join him when he

says: and on earth peace to men of good will, et in terra

pax hominibus bonae voluntatis.

Subsequent feasts of rejoicing such as Easter, Pente-

cost, and the feast of Christ the King may be the occa-

sions for learning more of the Gloria: We praise Thee, we

bless Thee, we adore Thee, we glorify Thee. Laudamus

te. Benedicimus te. Adoramus te. Glorificamus te. The

child will love it if you teach these as a series of praises,

or compliments, piling one on top of the other with added

intensity in the voice as well as mind and heart.

Once the child understands that Jesus grew to manhood,

died, was buried and brought Himself back to life, stayed

- 27 -



with His friends for forty days and then went back to His

Father in heaven, he is ready for the story of the Last

Supper and the essential meaning of the Mass. A birthday

or other gift-giving time is a favorable one. After dis-

cussing why we love to give and receive gifts, turn atten-

tion to our Father in heaven. He loves to receive gifts too.

But what would He want? The child is generous usually

in his desires to give his candy and most cherished toys

but should be reassured that our Father would have no

use for any of these.

Truly, we have no gift that is good enough for our

Father. That’s why our Big Brother, Jesus, said “Take

Me. Let Me be your gift.” Show the crucifix to your child

and talk with him of how Jesus let the men nail Him to

- 28 -



ft
'

the cross because He wanted to prove how much He loves

us, how expensive God-beauty in us is, how terrible sin

is. But you and I weren’t there that day. We couldn’t

say: “Take Jesus, Father. He’s our Gift.” So Jesus found

a way that we, His people, could keep on giving Him to

His Father, hundreds and thousands of years after He had

gone back to heaven.

Tell the story of the Last Supper emphasizing the words

of Consecration: “This is My Body.” Instantly, It is the
living Jesus. He really and truly comes on the altar during

Mass. Teach him to look up at the Host and say: “My

Lord and My God,” and at the Chalice and say “My Jesus
mercy,” but above all teach him to offer Jesus to our

29 -



. Father as our Gift. Because we are baptized, this is our

special privilege. To help deepen this impression you

might put the Crucifix in a gift box while you talk about

the way Jesus comes on the altar (under the appearances

of bread and wine), and allow him to help you wrap it.

On Sunday before leaving for Church show him the box

and remind him that all are going to offer a Gift to our

Father, the Best Gift possible.

Some time later, when you are certain that he is aware

of Gift-giving when he goes to Sunday Mass, it would be

well to have a discussion on why Jesus is so pleasing to

His Father. Of course, because He is God. But also, be-

cause He did always what His Father wanted. Next to

Jesus, our Father loves us best. He wants us to give our-

selves, with Jesus, to do His Will.

When we think or say with our priest: “Father in

heaven, I give You Jesus for my gift,” we should add:

“And I give You myself. I will be obedient, kind, pure,

honest and truthful to please You.” You might have each

member of the family put a picture of himself, or a bap-

tismal candle, or other symbol for himself in the gift box

with the Crucifix to deepen the impression of the truth

that we give ourselves with Jesus. During the week, re-

mind him in a pleasing way, of the consecration he made

and help him to live it.

And so, gradually, over a period of years, through in-

struction, observation and participation your child will

come to participate in and live the Mass.

- 30 -



Let him see both of you go to the Communion Rail

to receive Holy Communion, if possible during every

Mass you attend, so that he will learn more effectively

that Holy Communion is the completion of the Mass and

that it is proper to receive Communion during every Mass.

Up to the time of his First Holy Communion his participa-

tion in the Mass is only partial. First Communion will

bring about his full participation in the Mass. In the

meantime he may be prepared to tell Jesus how much he

Wants Him to come to him, and to long for His coming.

- 31 -



.