KiYS'c'h, f T ra I’rn'^A s <\ C kCLS’+i r/ A £(2. i jLf z c i Rflimn QM/C«>. H8& TRAINING IN CHASTITY by The Rev. Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M. Cop. Twelfth Edition 58,000 No. 55 Printed in U S. A. June 20, 1946 By Our Sunday Visitor Press Huntington, Indiana Imprimi Potest: SIGMUND CRATZ, O.F.M. Cap. Provincial Nihil Obstat: REV. T. E. DILLON Censor Librorum Imprimatur: JOHN NOLL, D. D., Bishop of Fort Wayne An address delivered at the Cleveland convention of the Catholic Conference on Family Life, and reprinted from THE CATHOLIC FAMILY MONTHLY. Training In Chastity Training in chastity has never been an easy job. The Sixth Commandment has always been the Difficult Com- mandment. It is doubly difficult in our day when it has struck “sex o’clock” in America. The literature of the day, the popular magazine, the scandal sheet, the movies, the fashions, sports, dances, night clubs, road houses, and bathing beaches have conspired to flaunt sex publicity. It is made almost impossible for people to keep the mind off the subject. Catholics must regard this situation as a challenge. It represents an op- portunity for us to prove anew the undiminished power of God’s grace. We must follow the example of the Fathers of the Early Church who in the face of a decadent civilization pleaded for the miracles of Christian chastity and virginity. And while pagan Rome was reveling in debauch- ery, Christian Rome gave us the Ag- neses and the Cecilias and the Sebas- tians. The present crisis in morality 6 TRAINING IN CHASTITY calls for the same action on our part. The need of the hour is the will of God. The arm of God is not shortened. Our Holy Father in Rome has issued the call to direct action. Our oppor- tunities for action were never greater than they are at the present moment. As Archbishop Beckman of Dubuque reminded his people recently, the Church is the only institution which has survived the general collapse of the past few years and it is the only institution which has the key to re- covery. Men admit freely that recov- ery in the moral order must precede every other kind of recovery, but they do not always see that the Church offers the only means to that moral re- covery. Hence, you, the members of the Catholic Conference on Family Life, are wise in meeting here today to pro- duce the evidence that the Church has within her the power to save America from moral ruin. You are wise in at- tacking the weakest link of the chain. No chain is stronger than its weakest link and, measured by this standard, our modern age is weak indeed, since the home, that essential unit of social life, has almost disappeared. There is TRAINING IN CHASTITY 7 more truth than humor in describing the American home as a garage with a bedroom attached, or in comparing it with the lunch counter on a rail- way trip, where we dash in for a hur- ried bite of food and dash out again and away. Whatever the Catholic Family Con- ference will be able to do to restore our Catholic home, will be promoting very directly the preservation of chastity. Adequate training in chastity can be accomplished only in union with com- plete Christian education. Training in chastity, though it is an important part of education, is nevertheless but one part and perhaps not even the most important part. Training in chastity must form an integral part of moral education from the earliest years and cannot be postponed until sex reveals itself plainly to the grow- ing child. Here is the sum and sub- stance of Catholic training in chas- tity: Give a solid religious training in general, especially in the use of the Sacraments; begin early to instruct the mind as to self-control in general, with simple applications to the sex in- stinct, while replying frankly to sin- cere questions in private ; and try 8 TRAINING IN CHASTITY fully to instruct the child whenever the occasion requires. This theory may be illustrated by quoting the testimony of a Catholic physician : I know an excellent young man who after he had much trouble with sex matters, later pulled away bravely from all such weak- nesses, and even took a tempo- rary vow of chastity. I asked him as to what he felt had helped him most in his battle. He an- swered : “Laying the natural foundation first, getting matters clearly explained and ‘lined up/ then building upon that with the supernatural motives.” I might add that this young man felt free to go to the priest and ask about anything he did not understand and was curious about. General character training is the essential phase of training in chas- tity. I shall here discuss briefly an- other phase of training in chastity, namely, the giving of necessary infor- mation. Who Should Instruct the Young? Our first question is: Who has the primary duty of giving the necessary instruction to the young? All writers TRAINING IN CHASTITY 9 on the subject, beginning with the Pope in his Encyclical on the Christian Education of Youth , are agreed that the first duty belongs to the parents. But the second question is: Do our Catholic parents perform that duty? Four years ago I asked the following question of 500 pastors : Is it your im- pression that Catholic parents give the necessary sex instruction early enough to their children ? If not, why not? Replies were received from 365 pas- tors; of these 320 replied, “No,” im- plying that it was their belief that Catholic parents did not fulfill that duty by their children. One pastor of a large parish in the East sent along this note : You will render a much needed service if you will do something that will make our Catholic par- ents bestir themselves. Not all parents seem to realize to what frightful dangers their children are exposed at the present time. Children are seduced at so early an age, while they could be saved if they were instructed betimes at home. They contract habits of im- purity before they are aware of what is happening to them. The confessor cannot do everything. 10 TRAINING IN CHASTITY Who Does Instruct Our Catholic Youth? While Catholic parents are shirking their duty, the agents of the Devil are up and doing. From whom does the average Catholic boy receive his sex- ual information? A priest with a long experience of teaching in Catholic high schools reports that on an average more than ninety per cent, of our Catholic boys receive their informa- tion on sex from indecent and foul sources. In any group of 100 boys in- vestigated by their priest, never more than six or seven stated that their first instruction in this vital matter came from their parents, teachers, or confessors. Should we then be sur- prised if the subject of sex is so rarely seen in its proper light by our Cath- olic people? First impressions are generally the most lasting, and if the first impressions are foul the mind may never come to know sex as an in- stinct given us by God on trust and for a noble purpose. How much would be gained for the cause of God if we could get the masses of our Catholic people to learn the sublime aspect of sex as treated, for instance, by Pro- TRAINING IN CHASTITY 11 fessor Hildebrand in his book, Defense of Purity ! 1 » Why Parents Neglect Their Duty The reasons generally given for the parents’ failure to give the necessary sex, instruction can be grouped under six heads: 1) Parents do not know how to instruct their children; 2) they do not realize the need of the in- struction; 3) they are too timid about discussing the subject with their chil- dren; 4) they think that the priest should take care of the matter in the confessional; 5) some parents believe that teachers might give sufficient in- formation in a general way in school; 6) too many parents believe that chil- dren may be left to themselves in the matter, that somehow or other they will find a way out of the difficulty themselves. Practically all parents will agree theoretically that it is their duty to instruct their children betimes, but will shirk the performance of the em- barrassing task. A flagrant illustra- tion is that of a Catholic Juvenile Court Judge who went up and down the country urging the duty of sex 12 TRAINING IN CHASTITY instruction upon Catholic parents, but who could not get himself to instruct his own children. In this matter most parents belong to the “Let me alone” club and are satisfied if they are not asked to furnish the information to their children. Many a parent feels like the mother who admitted : “I had sleepless nights full of fear and an- guish and have prayed that my child would never come to me and ask me about these things.” When we come to analyze further the reasons for the parents' inability to give the necessary instruction, we find that many lack both the accurate information and the proper vocabu- lary. Ninety-eight per cent of them never received the proper information themselves, and hence cannot impart it ; and, secondly, the terminology with which they are familiar is either vul- gar or obscene, and they naturally feel embarrassed about using such lan- guage in the presence of their children. In the end, they rationalize that, just as they got their information in some way or other, they see no way of pre- venting their children from getting it from the same uncertain source. Other parents will simply “pass the buck” by TRAINING IN CHASTITY 13 saying that the necessary instruction should be given by the priests in the confessional or by the Sisters in the school-room. Catholic Literature on Sex Much would be gained if we could get all our Catholic parents to read some Catholic literature on the sub- ject. Let me make it plain that we now have sufficient Catholic literature in the field and there is no need for reading any but Catholic books on the subject. Non-Catholic literature on this delicate subject, though it be written with the best intentions, can never measure up to our ideals in chas- tity. This non-Catholic literature ig- nores the all-important supernatural aids of prayer, confession, and Holy Communion and, what is worse, will at times urge what is a crime in the sight of God. Hence in writing my little book, Sex Education and Train- ing in Chastity, I took particular pains to list on pp. 192-194 the excellent Catholic literature we now have on the subject. We now have available a Catholic book for every kind of need in this field, and most of this litera- ture is sold at so low a price as to be 14 TRAINING IN CHASTITY within reach of even the slimmest purse. There is, for instance, the pamphlet, Watchful Elders, a Word to Parents and Educators About Educating Chil- dren to Purity, written by Father Kilian J. Hennrich, O.M. Cap., and sold by the Bruce Publishing Company of Milwaukee, for 40 cent3. The book- let is intended as a guide in instruct- ing the little ones. If parents cannot persuade themselves to present its con- tents in their own way, they should be induced to read it with their children of the proper age. But if they cannot get themselves to do even so little, they may give the booklet to their children to be read, in the presence of father or mother, before the dawn of puberty. The titles of other books and pam- phlets will be appended to this article so that the reader may select whatever he may need for his particular pur- pose. We urge all adult Catholics to read widely in the Catholic literature on the subject. They will obtain the information needed to correct the per- nicious errors so prevalent today. Here is an instance of what one zealous pastor accomplished. He has TRAINING IN CHASTITY 15 a parish of about 250 families with children. At the regular meetings of the Holy Name Society and of the So- ciety of Christian Mothers he took up the subject of safe-guarding the chas- tity of the young. He found that, of the 500 parents, about 200 mothers and 50 fathers took an active interest in the subject, and about 100 fathers “too busy” to attend the meetings approved heartily after hearing re- ports from their wives. In this way, the pastor reached the majority of the homes in his parish. At the same time the sisters in the school were instruct- ed to be on the lookout for individual pupils or groups that might need special attention, and if such were found, their parents were informed. The pastor made liberal use of the opportunity of the talks and confer- ences to make known and distribute the Catholic books on the subject of training in chastity. Other pastors have found the par- ent-teacher associations helpful in reaching the homes of children. Some pastors had physicians and nurses ad- dress these groups of parents and thus used them as leaders for creating gen- eral interest in giving proper instruc- 16 TRAINING IN CHASTITY tion to the children at home. It might be possible for the Catholic parent- teacher associations of a town or even a diocese to cooperate in securing a competent lecturer for addressing the individual groups on the subject. Need of Individual Instruction The object of all these endeavors should be to interest each and every parent in doing his duty by his chil- dren. As the young man can be taught fully only in private, the parents are the natural instructors. They know their children best, and will under- stand just how to adapt the instruction to their individual needs. They should be made to recognize that it is easier by far to guide a good child in the ways of goodness than to bring him back once he has stepped aside from the right path. There was a time when some Catholic parents really thought it sinful to bring up this sub- ject with their children, but from our inquiries we are inclined to think that such erroneous views no longer obtain, and that most of our parents are simply too timid about undertaking what will always remain an ordeal. It may be well to mention that our TRAINING IN CHASTITY 17 Catholic parents need not be finicky about the form of their instruction or the phrasing of what they will tell their children. Even though they should not be familiar with the choicest words, their instruction would be given with the proper intention and would proceed from chaste lips, and hence would be immeasurably superior to the instruction that their children might be receiving from vile sources. The crudest teaching of Catholic par- ents is always better than silence, for silence on their part will generally compel their children to drink in the infection from the street. Parents may be induced to do their duty if they re- call their own plight in this matter when they were children—and they may rest assured that the plight of the children at the present time with the universal corruption is undoubtedly greater. Catholic parents in America are too hesitant about instructing their children in the matter, and we must be prepared to answer all kinds of objections. Are the Children Too Young? A frequent objection is that the chil- dren are still too young, and that the 18 TRAINING IN CHASTITY instruction will be given later. To con- vince parents that this excuse is fre- quently a mere defense reaction, we might ask them just when they intend to impart the instruction, and we shall discover that the parents are only shirking an unpleasant duty by pro- crastinating. We must therefore bring home to parents that procrasti- nating will only delay the duty, and, while increasing the danger of cor- ruption for the children in the inter- val, will render the task all the more difficult at a later time. The younger the child, the less sex-consciousness will there be on his part, and conse- quently the less embarrassment for both parent and child. The only safe rule that can be given as to the time for giving the instruc- tion is to say that the instruction must be given as soon as necessary. It is better to give the instruction a year too soon than one hour too late. In our day and country the instruction is needed much earlier than most parents imagine. Miss Tracy, a police-woman of Worcester, Mass., admits that nine- year-old children have told her things about sex which she did not know at forty. Still, we must not allow the TRAINING IN CHASTITY 19 reports of the police to determine the rules for dealing with the average child. It is important that we ascer- tain just when sex problems begin to appear in the child's life. Records show that interest in sex first began as early as six and as late as 18. Dr. Hirschfeld, an investigator, is author- ity for the statement that 22 per cent of children commit the solitary 'sin from the 5th to the 11th year. The interest in sex probably begins earlier in life now than formerly. A Safe Rule The only safe rule to follow is to study each child individually and to give the information just as soon as the individual requires it. A fuller statement of this rule is to give the information, first, in accordance with the symptoms of curiosity; the child's curiosity in sex matters is legitimate and he has a right to have his ques- tions answered frankly and sincerely. Secondly, give the information in ac- cordance with the child's physical de- velopment. Here watchful parents may have to anticipate questions on the part of the child. Another wise rule tells us to give all information 20 TRAINING IN CHASTITY needed so that the child will not be helpless when the changes, either physical or psychical of adolescence, come into his life, and secondly so that the information will not come first from the wrong source. The Rev. Dr. Paul H. Furfey, who has written several helpful books on educational topics, advises in his book, You and Your Children (Benziger Brothers, New York) : Further instruction on these matters should be given before puberty. This commonly occurs between the ages of thirteen and sixteen — probably somewhat earlier in girls than in boys. Be- fore this time the child should be informed about the physical side of marriage. This is admittedly a difficult subject to face, but it is essential that it be discussed. At the same time the child should be taught the nature and dangers of solitary sin. The girl should be told frankly about menstruation and the boy about seminal emis- sions. Other instructions may well be postponed until adoles- cence, at which time the growing child should be told about the na- ture of venereal disease, about the physical dangers involved in promiscuity, and about the social evil. TRAINING IN CHASTITY 211 All the evidence available would seem to prove that no definite rule can be laid down to cover all cases. Every single case must be treated individual- ly. The important thing is that our Catholic parents be convinced of their duty in the matter, and then we may safely commit the choice of the proper time to their judgment. Some parents have found it advisable to offer direct opportunities to their children for the asking of questions, for example, in connection with their examination of conscience with regard to the Com- mandments when preparing for their first confession. Subsequent confes- sions would then provide further op- portunities. In this way parents may train their children to come to them for whatever information they wish to have. What Not to Say While we must warn our Catholic people, in the spirit of the Pope’s En- cyclical on the Christian Education of Youth, “not to descend to details, nor to refer to the various ways in which this infernal hydra destroys with its poison so large a portion of the world,” we may not grow weary 22 TRAINING IN CHASTITY of impressing upon fathers and moth- ers the fact that their children will get sex information in spite of hesi- tating parents, and that in getting the information from the wrong sources they get the wrong quality in the wrong quantity, with the re- sult that their attitude is altogether wrong, and they may suffer shock and moral injury which years or even a lifetime may not be able to efface. Even savages have realized the need of instructing the young in the intimate matters of personal life. In- dian squaws in British Columbia have continued up to the present time their ancient custom of calling the Indian maiden aside to a solitary wig- wam at the time of the first symptom of puberty in order to give her some kind of instruction in “sex hygiene.” Is there less need in a Christian fam- ily for timely instruction? TRAINING IN CHASTITY 23 CATHOLIC LITERATURE ON THE SEX PROBLEM The best way to drive out dark- ness is to open wide the doors and windows to let in God’s sunlight. Similarly, to correct the pernicious doctrines that are being shouted from the housetops, we must make known God’s views on this impor- tant subject. Fortunately we now have available a plentiful supply of Catholic literature to meet all needs. First on the list is Sex Education and Training in Chastity , by the Rev. Felix M. Kirsch, O.M. Cap., Ph.D., Litt. D., published by Benziger Broth- ers, $2.00. This book of 540 pages has rightly been called a Catholic en- cyclopedia on chastity. With the help of this book parents, priests, teachers, and social workers would seem to be well equipped to meet every need in the field. The book answers in detail all such questions as to when the sex instruc- tion must be given to the child, who must give the instruction, what must be said, and how it must be said. In- 24 TRAINING IN CHASTITY dividual chapters deal with the control of bad thoughts, bad talk, the soli- tary sin, and the association between the sexes. Other important sections deal with the education for marriage and Catho- lic character education. The author is at home in psychology and biology, but rightly insists that while the nat- ural helps must be employed, it is the supernatural aids of prayer, Confes- sion and Communion that are most ef- fective. While this book thus meets every need of the mature reader, there are other publications for particular needs. For instance, Watchful Elders , by the Rev. Kilian J. Hennrich, 0. M. Cap., M. A., published by the Bruce Publishing Co., (40c), instructs par- ents how to give the necessary sex information to children. The pam- phlet contains further material that may be used in early and late ado- lescence, and deals also with particu- larly difficult cases. Safeguards of Chastity, by the Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 0. F. M., published by St. Francis Book Shop (35c), of- fers frank yet reverent instruction on TRAINING IN CHASTITY 25 chastity for adolescent boys. The author suggests that fathers read and explain to their adolescent boys those portions of the book that pertain to their age and condition. Helps to Pur- ity, by the same author, is a com- panion volume for adolescent girls. In the Heart of a Young Man, or Talks on Personal Purity to Boys, by the Rev. Lionel E. Pire, C.PP.S., pub- lished by F. Pustet Co., 35c, will prove useful to both parents and teachers. A teaching Brother who has used the book for several years with high school boys reports that the young people have been greatly helped by the in- formation given by Father Pire. ‘Tm Keeping Company Now,” by the Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 0. F. M., published by the Paulist Press, 10c, deals in a clear, helpful way with the temptations that assail young people during the period of courtship. The author presents telling evidence to prove that God’s law still holds in our day, and shows at the same time how prayer, Confession, and Communion make possible the practice of the holy virtue even during the time of great- est danger. 26 TRAINING IN CHASTITY The Difficult Commandment , by the Rev. C. C. Martindale, S. J., published by P. J. Kenedy & Sons, 35c, deals with the subject of self-control in a way that will appeal especially to young men. The same author has edited a companion volume for young women, Into Their Company , 35c. Plain Talks On Marriage, by the Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 0. F. M., pub- lished by St. Francis Book Shop, 40c, is a booklet for people who are mar- ried, or who are about to be married. The author, who had many years’ experience both in teaching theology and in preaching missions, offers prac- tical help in the difficult problems that confront married people today. Birth Control, by the Rev. John M. Cooper, D. D., published by the Na- tional Catholic Welfare Conference, 35c, is an excellent manual on a dif- ficult subject for married men and women. In Defense of Purity, by Dietrich von Hildebrand, published by Sheed & Ward, 65c, should be read by all ma- ture Catholics for its clear exposition of the Catholic philosophy of sex. TRAINING IN CHASTITY 27 The book will prove an inspiration to both the married and the unmarried. All of the books listed above can be ordered through the editor of The Catholic Family Monthly, Hunting- ton, Indiana. The prices quoted in- clude postage. 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