ticxA.^

THE CHRISTIAN WAY

BY THE REVEREND

OUR SUNDAY VISITOR PRESS

lUlkVif !1 h 1*1

1



mm. JOHN J. WOJTAN

6216 EXETER CT.

SOUTH BEND, IN. 46614



BOY MEETS GIRL

By THE REV. FRANK E. GARTLAND, C.S.C.
(Former Editor of the Notre Dame Bulletin)

The Holy Cross Fathers

North Easton, Massachusetts

Eleventh Edition 92,500

No. m

PUBLISHED IN U.S.A.

July 12, 1944

BY

OUR SUNDAY VISITOR PRESS

HUNTIN''^"'"’

The Christian Way

An Exhortation To

Chaste Christian

Courtship

Printers



Feast of St. Francis de Sales, 1941

Cum permissu:

Reverend Thomas A. Steiner, C.S.C.

Provincial

Nihil Obstat:

Reverend T. E. Dillon

Censor Librorum

Imprimatur:

^ JOHN FRANCIS NOLL, D.D.
Bishop of Fort Wayne



BOY MEETS GIRL

The Christian Way

What's The Story?

This is a pamphlet without any

fooling. Its message is brief and

very direct. It pleads with young

men and women to respect themsel-

ves and one another. It begs them to

wait—not to ruin their marriage by
anticipating during the delightful but

dangerous days of courtship the

rights and pri/vileges of the married

state. It warns them that nothing in

life is so tragic as to spoil a sacra-

ment.

It is not sentimental; it is a mes-

sage of common sense. It is not ro-

mantic; it is very prosaic. In what

it demands it is not easy; it is full of

the hard philosophy of the Cross. It

is not cheap; it is Christian. It is the

strong, yet tender doctrine of Our

Blessed Lord. And like Him, it re-

fuses to compromise with the way-

ward way of this world. It appeals



4 BOY MEETS GIRL

frankly to the sense of honor and to

the pride of decent young men and

women. It prescribes for them

against the ills of concupiscence. It

encourages them, in God’s holy Tiame,

to be heroes and heroines and not to

be worldlings weak and unwise. It

reminds them that they are the

Temples of God—temples which they
should adorn with the precious

stones and gems of every virtue:

chastity, self-respect, respect for one

another, sacrifice, courage and pa-

tience. Toward the end, it suggests a

few practical, everyday, down-to-

earth pointers about dates and court-

ship. These, if kept, will insure a

strong and joyous courtship and a

happy and holy marriage.

This exhortation to chaste, Chris-

tian courtship teas given first as a

sermon to the students of the Uni-

versity of Notre Dame. It was later

printed in the Notre Dame Religious

Bulletin and then reprinted in the

Catholic Students’ Bulletin which

Father Gartland prepares every week

for the YOUTH Section of Our Sun-



BOY MEETS GIRL 5

day Visitor. Though addressed di-

rectly to young men, this instruction

and advice may he read with equal

profit by young women also. After

all, chaste, Christian courtship de-

pends on the cooperation of both. To

help the struggling young people who

want to do the right thing to help

themselves is the first, last and only

purpose of “BOY MEETS GIRL—
The Christian Way.”

In its more convenient form as a

pamphlet, it is dedicated to the Im-

maculate Mother of God. From her

the author earnestly begs a blessing

upon himself and the pamphlet and

upon all its readers.

A Place For Everything
Some of you (who can never be

satisfied) will not be content. You

will say, as usual, that this is beat-

ing around the bush and that what

you “really want to know” will re-

main unanswered. May I remind you

that neither the pulpit nor the Stu-

dents’ Bulletin is the proper vehicle

for discussing problems of sex. Be-

sides that, nine out of ten of you know



6 BOY MEETS GIRL

—if not ninety-nine out of every hun-
dred—what’s right and what’s
wrong

;
and whenever you do en-

counter an honest doubt you can get

the answer from the priest, in or out

of confession, as you may prefer.

Two Kinds Of Courtship
Now, Christian courtship is quite

different from pagan courtship

—

courtship as thought of and practiced

by the world—a world that does not
know Jesus Christ—or at least does

not love Him! When you get down

to it, the difference stems from the

contrary concepts of the nature and

dignity of man and of marriage.

It is a~ sad observation, yet true,

that too many of you are more in-

clined to accept the world’s low stand-

ard for dates and courtship than the

harder but infinitely higher and

nobler standard of Our Lord. The

one aim of these remarks is to lead

you hack to the Christian ideal—if
you have strayed from it : and to con-

vince you that onky by practising it

will you be happy both before and

after marriage.



BOY MEETS GIRL 7

The World Is Cheap

Take the nature of man. If you

think of man as a high-grade animal

or a cultured brute, you are not going

to be very backward about taking

liberties on dates and in courtship.

And the farther you go, the more you

will definitely regard your Catholic

Faith as a burden, a brake, a nuis-

ance, as an object of hatred and of re-

jection! Your conscience will harden!

Your religion will cease to be a life-

giving dynamo and the chief source

of your strength, consolation and

merit. You will begin to manufacture

excuses. You will find no particular

reason not to indulge your lustful

passions, to sacrifice, to carry your

Cross

!

The world’s cheap idea of the na-

ture of man and marriage has prog-

ressively popularized and sought to

justify psychologically such lowly and

nice-sounding “escapes” as “good

times,” “companionate marriages,”

“birth control” and, of course, “di-

vorce.” In proportion as you “go”

for the way of the world or let it



8 BOY MEETS GIRL

“suck you in,” you too will dive be-

low the level of reasonable and of

Christian living.

Dignity Or Disaster?

But ... If you regard your girl and

yourself as Temples of the Holy

Ghost—^which you are—^then you will
be mighty careful not to pollute those

Temples—either hers or your own!
For, as Saint Paul plainly says, “If

any man defile the Temple of God,

him shall God destroy ” And again

:

“This is the will of God: your sanc-

tification : that you should abstain

from fornication. That every one of

you should know how to possess his

vessel in sanctification and honor.

Not in the passion of lust, like the

Gentiles who know not God . . . For

God hath not called us to uncleanness

but unto sanctification. Therefore, he

that despises these things, despises

not man but God who also has given

His Spirit in us.” (I Thessalonians

IV, 3).

As you can see from these words of

Saint Paul, you have, besides a tre-

mendous dignity, a fearful responsi-



BOY MEETS GIRL 9

bility—the responsibility of never de-
grading the Temple of God. This

problem never hits nearer home than

in the question of dates and court-

ship, because there you are imme-

diately concerned with human bodies,

with Temples of God. And in hand-

ling the question, you must be realis-

tic and honest enough to acknowledge

the presence and strength of unruly

passions, and the tendencies of the

lower man forever urging you to de-

file those temples! Is it any wonder

that Saint Paul once exclaimed to his

beloved spiritual children “With

fear and trembling

,

work out your

salvation!” (Philippians, ii, 12).

Yes, you must be ready to face

the facts
;
and you must be willing to

listen to God’s own inspired word.

Even though it is true that you are

only “a little lower than the angels”

in dignity {Psalm viii, 6), it is also

unfortunately true—and you know it
from your own observation or experi-

ence—^that you are “vessels of ini-
quity” (Romans, vi, 13) and “vessels

of wrath fitted for destruction.” (Ro-



10 BOY MEETS GIRL

mam, ix, 22). Ask yourself; ask

anyone; ask the whole world, if it is

not very easy to profane God’s Tem-

ples! And yet reflect: What does

God say? “If any man deflle the

Temple of God, him shall God destroy,

for the Temple of God is holy, which

(temple) you are.” (I Corinthiam,

iii, 17).

You must not underrate these

words of Saint Paul. Listen to this.

A Frightful Example
One night, in Old Testament times,

“Baltasar the king made a great feast

for a thousand of his nobles and

every one drank according to his age.

And being now drunk, he command-

ed that they should bring the vessels

of gold and silver which Nabucho-

donosor his father had brought away

from the Temple that was in Jeru-

salem, that the king and his nobles

and wives might drink in them . . .

and they drank in them ... In that

same hour there appeared fingers, as

it were of the hand of a man, writing

over against the candlestick upon the

surface of the wall of the king’s pal-



BOY MEETS GIRL II

ace
;
and the king beheld the joints of

the hand that wrote . . . And this is

the interpretation of the word . . .

God hath numbered thy kingdom and

hath finished it . . . thou art weighed

in the balance and found wanting . . .

Thy kingdom is divided and is given

to the Medes and Persians . . . The

same night Baltasar the Chaldean

king was slain.” (Daniel V, 1-30).

If God did not hesitate to slay a

pagan and voluptuous king because

he profaned a chalice of gold set

aside for the service of the temple,

do not think He will not avenge you

—^who know so much more by the
fullness of Revelation and the teach-

ing of Christ and His Church—if you
defile His Temples! God gives you

His word that He will destroy you!

And that destruction need not he

death: most often, following sinful

dating and courtship, it is the de-

struction of peace and joy in mar-

riage. For further details consult

your local newspapers.



12 BOY MEETS GIRL

The Positive Side

Once convinced that you and your

girl are Temples of God, you will do

everything you can, in a positive way,

and at any price, to retain or regain

your personal purity and to protect

the modesty and loveliness of the girl

you respect

—

even as St. Joseph kept

himself spotless and safeguarded the

virginity of Mary the Mother of

God!

You will keep ever in mind the nat-

ural and necessary relationship be-

tween your conduct now and your

status later in marriage. If you want

the girl you go with now to be the

best wife she can be for you and the

best mother she can be for your chil-

dren; if you yourself want to be the

best husband you can be for her and

the best father you can be for your

children, there are no two ways about

this
:
you and she cannot spoil one an-

other now on your dates and in court-

ship!

If you are selfish, loose, crude, ani-

malistic and unreasonable now, do



BOY MEETS GIRL 13

not expect that you are going to be

unselfish, highminded, gentlemanly,

spiritual and controlled in marriage.

That isn’t the way the walk up the

aisle to the altar works. The Sacra-

ments—matrimony included—do not
change nature, they elevate it— IF IT
IS DISPOSED TO BE ELEVATED.

Living up to the Christian ideal of

holy purity obviously implies the

greatest caution and prudence with

regard to such things as kissing, em-

bracing, dancing and drinking. Not

that any one of these things is wrong

in itself, but you can never forget—
much as you would like to

—

the fact

of concupiscence. That fact means

that human nature is upset, that the

law of the fiesh is ceaselessly fighting

the law of the mind. Because of this

fact, it is all too easy to ignite the pas-

sions. (Leave liquor alone or be very

moderate.) And it is all too hard not

to follow the “simple” way of the

world which ignores the struggle,

tries to forget, pretends, sells the

priceless Christian heritage of life

divine for the sordid mess of sense-



14 BOY MEETS GIRL

nerve-and-mmcle life lived i/ti the

barnyard.

A Sensible Program
Not to wind up in this pigsty, you

need a program.

(1) You will consecrate your-

selves to the Mother of God and Saint

Joseph.

(2) You will frequently tap di-

vine grace at its fonts in this world

—Mass and Holy Communion, con-
fession and prayer.

(3) You will never be too much

alone.

(4) You will understandingly

break away at the first sign of danger.

(5) You will not overemphasize

the merely physical, bodily aspect of

dates and courtship hut will rather, in

proportion, also cultivate your mu-

tual interests of mind and heart: a

taste for good reading and music,

conversation arid sports.

(6) You will learn how to walk

—

and like it.

(7) You will gradually learn to



BOY MEETS GIRL 15

prefer to keep out of night-clubs and

hot-spots because it will dawn on you

that the saying, “the world is too

much with us,” really means some-

thing.

Confession A Special Help
Falsely you think, “Priests do not

understand the force of fallen na-

ture.” They do. The Mother of God

is “our tainted nature’s solitary

boast.” And St. Paul himself put it

in writing for the world that he knew

the sting of the flesh. As a matter of

fact, because of their studies and the

thousands of true-life dramas priests

hear, they happen to be the best quali-

fied men in the world to understand

and to sympathize. But they respect

the truth and love Jesus Christ. They

will not tell you black is white or that

yielding to temptation is not a sin.

Buck Up, The Soinfs Did

Learn to buck up under pressure.

Pray for the grace and strength of the

saints

!

Never make the stupid mistake of

thinking the saints had a different

nature, lived impossible and unreal



16 BOY MEETS GIRL

lives. The saints had what it takes.

Learn your lesson from them. With

regard to the problems that come up

between you and your girl, you will

never “come through” unless by the

grace of God and YOUR OWN Chris-
tian Heroism.

Pray that your girl may be as

strong as St. Agatha. Agatha said to

the judge and her executioner: “I

die gladly. Aren’t you ashamed to

touch my breasts—you who were
nourished by your mother’s breasts?”

And, as for yourself, pray that you

may be as strong as St. Thomas

Aquinas. He was confronted by an

attractive but evil girl and he drove

her out of his room with a fiery fagot

!

He would not dilly-dally with the

occasion of sin!

You may be tempted to think re-

marks such as these are “way out of

focus,” “that this is the twentieth

century. Father: forget it.” Don’t

fool yourself. If you don’t see eye

to eye with the saints, you are the

one out of focus. They knew and loved

Jesus Christ. They saw the value of



BOY MEETS GIRL 17

their bodies and souls. They under-

stood the language of heaven and

hell.

And do not drown yourself in a

stream of false self-pity: “Why am I

tempted so?” “I can’t put up with

these things five, six, seven years!”

*** Get your hearings. There are

thousands of young men and women

your age, as healthy as you, as strong,

as capable of love, who have vowed

their chastity to God for life. Some

of them are your own brothers and

sisters

!

No Cross—No Christian
Remember Whose disciple you are.

“If any man will come after Me, let

him deny himself, and take up his

cross daily and follow Me.” *** Take

up your cross . . . not Our Lord’s, not

anybody else’s . . . your own.

And what is your cross, if not these

temptations, these things that go

against your gram, these forbidden

yet attractive pleasures? *** “And

follow Me” . . . that is—along the
road to Calvary: that hard, narrow.



18 BOY MEETS GIRL

steep and rickety road which leads to

crucifixion of your flesh and its con-

cupiscences!

If you buckle under pressure now;

if you spoil your Christian courtship

;

if you make an orgy out of dates, you

wander .off that road
;
you get onto

the broadway of self-indulgence, com-

fort, lust—^the highway of sin, death,
destruction, hell! You throw a^vay

your cross, you cease to he a Chris-

tian. For, you must have a cross to

be a Christian. You must carry it to

the dreadful death of Calvary. Yes,

DEATH! You and she must DIE!

This is not sad. Bring on no

flowers. Ring no mourning bells.

Write no requiems. Listen once again

to the great St. Paul: “If you live

according to the flesh, you shall die;

but if by the Spirit you mortify the

deeds of the flesh, you shall live.” It

is again the Christian contradiction,

the paradox of life and death. “For

he that shall save his life shall lose it

;

and he that shall lose his life, for My
sake, shall save it.”

It all leads to but one conclusion

:



BOY MEETS GIRL 19

By the Cross, men of Notre Dame

—

the Cross of Chaste Christian Court-

ship—you will most assuredly suffer,
but you have nothing worthwhile to

lose and you have everything worth-

while to gain. Place yourself willing-

ly upon it. Stretch out your, hands.

Invite the nails. Endure the agony.

Give up the ghost. You will enjoy the

Resurrection of a happy, holy, ever-

lasting marriage ! God strengthen and

encourage you!

Consecration To The Blessed

Virgin

My Queen, my Mother, I give my-
self entirely to thee; and to show my
devotion to thee, I consecrate to thee

this day my eyes, my ears, my mouth,

my heart, my whole being without

reserve. Wherefore, good Mother, as

I am thine own, keep me, guard me,

as thy property and possession.*

Prayer To Saint Joseph

Guardian of virgins and father,

holy Joseph, to whose faithful care

Christ Jesus, innocence itself, and



20 BOY MEETS GIRL

Mary, Virgin of virgins, were com-

mitted; I pray and beg of thee, by

these dear pledges, Jesus and Mary,

free me from all uncleanness, and

make me with spotless mind, pure

heart and chaste body, ever most

chastely to serve Jesus and Mary, all

the days of my life. Amen.f

*“His Holiness Pius IX by a decree of the

Sacred Congregation of Indulgences, Aug.

5, 1851 granted to all the faithful who, with

a fervent and contrite heart, shall say,

morning and evening, one Hail Mary, to-

gether with this prayer, to implore of the

Blessed Virgin victory over temptations,

especially over those against chastity:

^‘An indulgence of 100 days, once a day.

^‘A plenary^ indulgence, once a month, to

all those who shall have said them every
day for a month, on the day when, being

truly penitent, after confession and Com-
munion, they shall visit a church or public

oratory, and pray there for some time for

the intention of His Holiness.”

t‘^The Sovereign Pontiff Pius IX, by a re-

script of the S. Cong, of Indulgences, Feb.

4, 1877, recalling all indulgences hitherto

given, granted to all the faithful who, with

at least contrite heart and devotion, shall

say this prayer, an indulgence of 100 days,

once a day.”



OTHER O. S. V. PAMPHLETS
FOR SERVICE MEN

FIGHT FIRST : MARRY LATER is a
pamphlet divided into two parts. Part I

is an opinion—^For most men in the Ser-
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fore getting married; Part II is undebat-

able truth—A couple in love must during
courtship fight first (in the battle for

chastity) if they would (happily) marry

later. The tactics necessary to achieve

this victory are carefully explained.

(Five copies for 25c, postpaid; or 100

copies for $3.50, plus postage.)

PLAY SQUARE, straight ‘‘dope" for
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TEAMING UP: FOR GOD AND
COUNTRY, prepared by one of the pres-
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98 St. Patrick, Apostle of Ireland.

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103 Devotion to St. Anthony of Padua.
104 The Priesthood: A Divine Institution.
105 A Search for the True Church.
106 A Study in Black and White.
107 A Shrewd Investment.
108 "Jingle, Jangle, Jingle."

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110 The Truth About Catholics.
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112 Christian Civilization versus Bolshevist Barbarism.
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115 What of Our Republic's Future?
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121 A Christian vs. An Anti-Christian Front.
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125 The Why and Whither of Labor Unions.'
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145 Nazism and Christianity.
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148 The Man With The Iron Hand—^And Heart
149 A Catholic Daughter To Her Protestant Mother.
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151 Little Prayers With Plenary Indulgences.
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153 God's Plan For Your Salvation.
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155 The Church of Christ, Inc.

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