THE PARLIAMENTS VNSPOTTED-BITCH: In Answer To Prince ROBERTS Dog called Boy, And his Malignant She-Monkey.  
 a dog  
London, Printed for R. jackson. 1643.   

The Parliaments unspotted Bitch: In Answer To Prince Roberts Dog called Boy, and his Malignant She-Monkey.  
THe Parliaments Bitch is of such an excellent shape and proportion, that the most witty inventions cannot imagine a thing of a more sweet and perfect feature, being beautiful in colour and absolute in all the lineaments of her body; so that she seems to be a statue cut out in unspotted alabaster by some curious workman, and doth in this exceed their exact imitations, in that she doth live and breath, whereas the other are but dead Images. And to her comely body she hath as handsome conditions, not dogged and currish qualities; besides that she may be uncapable of generation, and never bring forth such untutoured puppies as Prince Roberts Dog is, she hath had her concupiscence taken from her, and is indeed a spaid Bitch: but a very loving and well affencted worm to the Parliament, and if she could speak or writ it is no doubt but she would answer those two Malignants Prince Roberts white Dog, and his wanton Monkey in this or the like manner following;  

Her Answer to Prince Roberts white Dog.  
Grumbling Sir or counterfeit Lapland Lady I admire thy impudence in calling thyself a Lady: Art thou a Lady and hast so much hair between thy legs and every where else? thou wouldst be a rough bed fellow for the devil himself; if thou art not a devil thyself, thou hast conditions suitable, to thy shape for thou dost snarl and bite at the Parliament, and hast learnt that quality from other Popish dogs, good thou canst do none to the Prince for that is contrary to the nature of a Witch, which in some respects thou unjustly dost assume, but in other conditions most fitly, for a Witch will dine or sup with a roasted crab squittering in the fire, or with a few boiled Onions, and a draft of Buttermilke which one of her neighbours gave her for fear more then for love, but thou dost fare most deliciously of the rumps and wings of Capons and kidneys and art indeed better fed then taught. Besides a Witch will lye upon an old straw bed with her house Cat which seems instead of her bedfellow. But the Kings chair of state& all the embroidered velvet stools are thy day couches, where thou liest and sleepest with thy malignant eyes half open, and canst wink at small and great faults as thou dost see occasion. But then thou art a Witch again in some conditions, for they are overgrown with ugly gray hair which hangs down about their shoulders, and so art thou Boy. Witches are ready to do mischief, but can do no good, and such are thy malignant qualities Boy: and moreover Witches are generally hated of all religious and well affencted people, and so art thou Boy. Pardon me for though our gracious King loves thee, it is not as thou art a Witch, but as thou art Prince Roberts Dog; and for thy Art in finding out concealed goods, I wonder how thou durst say that thou didst discover that plate which my Lord Say could not, it is as true as that there is a candle constantly burning in thy breech wherewith thou lightest thyself every night to bed: you say moreover that the college plate is melted in New-Hall inn; truly I believe there is much coining at Oxford and especially of misconstructions against the Parliament: which having the Kings stamp put upon them do run currant among the cavaliers, and through the whole country round about: Now for the languages wherewith this beast is endowed, there is as much difference between him and a linguist, as there is between Bagshot and Bowwow; or speaking, and all his discourse is but a constant lying and fawning expressed by flattering actions, in which discourses his wagging tail speaks more then his mouth doth; and it is the expectation of some dainty bit that whispers him in the ear, and doth make the spirit of this dogged animal very pleasant and loving.  
He neither speaks Hebrew nor Dutch as some do conceive, but all his language is quià nunc do you grumble, and it is most certain that his stinking breath dwells round about Oxford; the curs infectious vapour is the cause( as some conjecture) that the plague is now there.  
For his logic he has no reason to dispute withall, and had rather chop up a good pudding then chop logic amongst the Sophisters, yet if he could dispute he would wrangle and bawl extremely, for he has impudence enough, and if he were put to silence he would blushy no more then a black dog: And for his discoveries what can Boy do? indeed he hath a good nose, so that if a sirreverence should by some of the slovenly Guard be laid in Christ-Church Quadrangle, he would quickly smell it out and bewray the matter; for he is very neat in his carriage, and when he pisses against a wall he will lift up his leg for fear of spoiling his court stockings.  
I do not believe that he is weapon proof; or hath made his Master Prince Robert so, or that poison cannot hurt him, for I do not think but a sound stroke with a whip would make him cry peccavi; that is, he would confess that he had offended against the King and Parliament; and besides, the Parliaments Bitch could( if she would be so malicious) bite him so sorely, that he should ever afterward halt of a leg; and indeed I think he is of a poisonous nature himself, and yet let him take heed of wenching, or rather bitchering in Oxford, lest the hair of his head, and likewise the hair of his body do fall off before it come to tanning, and so be compelled to wear a Court Periwig.  
As for his going between Oxford and London every week oftener than the three Carriers do, it is in truth a very lye, for it is against the nature of a body to be in divers places at once: indeed I believe he is a spirit of the Buttery, and doth often walk there invisible, and make the scholars of Oxford turn all Malignants against the Parliament; he leads the Doctors and Proctors in a string as a little dog doth the blind man here in London.  
Neither did Prince Robert disguise himself in so many shapes, like an Appleman at Dunsmore heath, like a Netseller at Coventry, and like an old woman at Daventry by the help of Boy; for how could he furnish him with Properties, and several shapes? A dogs leg he could as soon.  
For his behaviour to others, it is said to be loose and strumpet-like, and therein he is like Prince Roberts Monkey, whom the Parliaments Bitch shall answer hereafter, and make her grin for anger.  
For the Princes familiarity with him, it is but for his recreation, not for any affection he bears unto him, as he doth( I warrant you) to a Court Lady, nay, to any country wench upon a case of necessity; but let him not brag of that, for if he have kift the Prince once, his head hath afterward been twice in the Porridge pot; and when he runs about to smell out Oxford Bitches that are full of concupiscence, where is his nose then? The King and his children are thought to be very well beloved by Boy, but in regard he is a Malignant the Parliament Bitch dare affirm that he cannot love the King, and hate and grumble against the Parliament as he and other Popish dogs do.  
And whereas it is thought that Boy was a malignant against the City petition delivered by six Aldermen, I know and believe that he understood nere a word of it, nor knows any letters but R. whereby he doth express his anger when he barks, and he doth not care whether the King come to White-Hall or not, for wheresoever he is he can but feed daintily& be Prince Roberts white Boy.  
As for London and the taking thereof, we have dogs enough that will take the Parliaments Bitches side, as Pepper Tobies dog, and Isaacs dog, and Greens dog, and a great many puppie-dogs, and curs that will domineer on their own dunghill, and keep out Prince Roberts dog in despite of his teeth; and thus I conclude the answer to Prince Roberts dog called Boy, advising every one that he is an Imposture, a very juggling Boy, and a very cowardly malignant our, though he look like a lion.   

The Answer to Prince Roberts Monkey.  
I can hardly with any patience vouchsafe an answer to this unclean beast this thing composed of nothing but mocking and grinning at her betters, and she forsooth amongst the rest will needs be a malignant, but as she is tied fast with a chain, so it is not to be doubted but all delinquents and malignants that oppose the Parliaments Bitch shall be confined in prisons until they leave their Monkish qualities, and prove well affencted to the orderly proceedings of the Parliament. But how can a Monkey have good conditions since her shape is so ugly, so deformed that she compares her self to I know not what?  
For her juggling of the pay out of the Parliament souldiers heads, it is well known she can do no such matter, but the Captaines keep it back contrary to the mind of the Parliament: and besides though I believe there are Monkeys in the Parliaments Army, yet they are often conicatcht themselves, and cannot deceive poor souldiers of their pay, and Prince Roberts Monkey dare not come thither left the Parliaments Bitch should tear her green coat off from her back. She hath indeed many mad tricks whereof she boasts, but why she should be breached for them I know not, if she were ever such a creature as Tobies Dog was, there were some reason to bear a little zealous affection towards her; for he was gentle and mild and a good oldmans Dog, but this is a grinning, mocking cursed thing and a profane wretched creature that would bring Prince Robert to love nothing but effeminate wantonness as her self doth.  
But I pray what do all her tricks gain her? why nothing but contempt and scorn, the Guard will play with her as boldly as her Master, and feel and handle her all over, surely if she had any goodness she would blushy and hereafter order her self as d●inurely as if she were a Monkey that had been carried to New England, and now brought over again, for there are such Monkeys now in England.  
Let her never think that with her mowing at the Parliament, she can discountenance them and Religion; for they regard Prince Roberts dog no more then they do a grumbling Cur, and his Monkey they esteem no more then a Jester, there are greater malignants that must be brought to trial, and then Prince Roberts Dog will be taught better manners.  
Thus you see what the Parliaments Bitch( if she could speak) would answer to Prince Roberts Malignant Dog and Monkey, but she being of a modest nature doth earnestly desire that they may be both sent for and punished as Delinquents, or else that they may hang tell they mend.   
FINIS.