FRIENDLY ADVICE In the SPIRIT of LOVE Unto Believing PARENTS, And their tender OFFSPRING in Relation to their Christian Education.  
By J. F. and R. S.  And ye Fathers, provoke not your Children to wrath, but bring them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord, Eph. 6. 4. Children obey your Parents in the Lord, for this is right, Eph. 6. 1. 
London, Printed in the Year 1688.   

A short Introductory Epistle unto Believing Parents.  
THese following Lines presented to your Perusal, are not written out of any affectation to be seen in Print or desire of becoming a Teacher or Instructor to others, but in unfeigned Love, a real good Will to you and all whom it may concern; and to stir up your pure minds by way of Remembrance, unto that Christian Duty, and faithful discharge thereof, which God Almighty hath laid upon and enjoins us unto, so that we may with Joy give an Account unto Him who is the great Lord of all, at whose will we hold & enjoy what soever we have that is good, and must therefore give an account to Him of our Stewardship, and receive a Reward from him accordingly; for our Gold, our Silver, and all our Substance we receive, it's He that lends it us. And therefore we ought to be careful that none of it be employed in any other service but in His, (and what's with His good liking) for certainly those that have the greatest share, ought not to waste or spend any of it, to the gratifying of the lust of the Eye, the lust of the Flesh, or pride of Life; because these things are not of the Father, but of the World, and therefore are not in the least to be Countenanced or Encouraged by any of God's Children (whom he hath gathered out of the World) either in themselves or their Children, which indeed are the Blessing of God, as a good Wife is his Gift, and the vine from whence they Spring, and they like Olive Plants shall sit round about the Table of him that fears the Lord and walks in his Wales, yea, they shall inherit the earth But some that have made a wrong use of that plenty, God hath blest them with, have gratifyed a Mind and Spirit in their Offspring that should have been Kerbed and kept under, whereby they have increased and grown up in that which after hath been a grief to their Parents and many others, and a great hurt to their tender Children; yea, some have been so Cockered and fond used, that when they have grown up, they have been ready to blame their Parents. Now this hath been for want of keeping in that pure and heavenly Wisdom which is truly profitable to direct. And therefore my sincere desire and earnest Prayer to Almighty God is, that we all wait upon the Lord, so that we may know him to guide us by his Counsel, and receive Wisdom from Him, to bring up our Children in his fear, and what in us lies not only reprove them for evil, but restrain them from it (and all things that are of that kind and nature) and endeavour to train them up in that which teaches to hate Pride and Arrogancy (too Reigning Sins) and also every evilway, that so they and we may be heirs of the blessing of Almighty God, and in the end that Crowns add, lay down our heads in Peace, and rest with Him for evermore, so wisheth, and so prayeth your Friend.   


CHAP. I.  
Dear Friends,  
HAving been for some years passed Exercised in the Instruction and Education of Children, I found a stirring in my heart, and a concern came over my Spirit in the Love of God, to wit as followeth.  
The Lord (whom we may now call out God) hath been pleased to visit us, with the visitation of His tender Love, and by His Holy Arm and Divine Hand hath gathered, and is gathering a Remnant out of those Ways, Customs, Fashions, Forms, and Worships, that are in the World that lies in wickedness (which we as well as others were once in) but now the Counsel of God in us, and unto us, is, that we touch not, neither taste nor handle any of those things, but be separate from them, that the Lord may receive us as His, being bought and purchased by Him; not with Gold nor with Salver, nor any Corruptible thing, but by the precious blood of Christ who died and suffered for us.  
And dear Friends, as we are thus called and gathered by the Lord from the World's Ways, Customs, Fashions, Languages, and whatsoever is evil; so we no doubt aught to use our utmost endeavours to preserve out Children and Offspring out of them, and Restrain them from them, lest they be corrupted with them, and their minds and affections set more upon them, than that Holy Way, Truth, and Profession that every honest Friend in Truth desires his Children and Offspring may be Educated and trained up in; and blessed be the Lord that there is a Remnant that have received that Holy Unction which is able to teach them all things. And as its Teachings are kept to, learned and followed will, lead out of all that which offends the Lord and grieves his People, and is unbecoming our Holy Profession, and that Plainness and Simplicity, which Truth now as formerly leads into, by which we and out Children have appeared unto the World a separate People; not only from their Forms, Worships, and Religions, but their Language, foolish Fashions, antic Dresses, superfluous Apparel, and costly Array. And therefore dear Friends, as we have known the Judgements of God in ourselves for these things, and through Judgement have known a being edeemed out of them; let not any of us Countenance or Encourage any of our Children, or them we have the Government of in them. But take the Wise Man's Counsel and Advice, and labour in the love of God to train up our Children in the way they should walk, that they may not departed from it when they are Old; but stand up and succeed us in a Testimony for the Lord His Way, Truth, and the true Christian Profession, and may manifestly be the trained up Scholars and true Disciples of Him, in whom we have believed by their taking up their daily Cross, to all things contrary to the self denying life of a true Christian; that the Blessing of God which is the best Postion, and makes truly rich, may be upon them.   

CHAP. II. A few words of tender Advice, and Counsel unto the Children of believing Parents; exhorting them to Obedience according to Christ's Example, and not to fimfy themselves, but be lowly, and to fear God.  
OH! remember your Creator in the days of your Youth before the evil day come, and be subject to your Parents, in your tender years, as Christ our Lord was unto his according to the Flesh, even at twelve years of Age; as ye read in the holy Scriptures: He was not Stubborn nor Wilful, he was not Heady nor high Minded, he lusted not after the Fashions and Customs of the evil World, nor after gay Clothing, nor rich Apparel; but in all things did the Will of His Heavenly Father that sent him. Therefore take Him for your Example, and obey your Parents, and be subject to them in all things, that they Advise and Counsel you for your good, here and hereafter, for what will all the finery avail when you come to die, and why should any be so concerned to finifie a little Dust and Ashes or House of Clay, which may fall in a moment or twinkling of an Eye, and neglect chat which tends to their Souls everlasting good.  
Oh! therefore let me in treat you, to mind the holy fear of Almighty God, which will preserve you out of these things, and have regard to the Holy Witness, Light, Grace, and Spirit of God in your own hearts, which will let you see that you should not be Heady, High Minded, Wilful, Surly, or Stubborn; but Meek, Lowly, Humble, and Submissive, and then you'll be' liker Christ: But the Heady High Minded, Wild, Wanton, and Proud, they are like him that is the King over all the Children of Pride, Job 41.34. And it was he that lead the Daughters of Zion into Haughtiness, and taught them to walk with stretched forth Necks, and Wanton Eyes, walking and mincing as they went; whereby the Lord was so displeased, as to threaten to smite with a Scab the Crown of the Daughter of Zion, and to discover their secret parts. But as you mind and have regard to the Light and good Spirit of God and learn of it, you will be taught to deny these things and be preserved (as you abide in it) from saying any bad Words, telling any idle and false Stories, or speaking any Untruths, although it were to excuse yourselves: Oh! therefore I beseech you have regard to it, do not despise it, nor quench the motions of it; and than you will be a Comfort to your Parents, a rejoicing to your Friends, and good Examples to other Children with whom you converse or are among; and will cause the holy Truth to be well spoken of, and make the Profession of it more to shine. But if you flight the Counsel of your tender Parents, Tutors, and Friends, Remember a day of Calamity will come, and that you must one day appear before Him that will bring every work to Judgement with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil; and for every idle Word you must give an Account in the day of Judgement, as Christ said, Mat. 12.36. And if then thou art found of that Number, that have set at nought God Counsel immediately by his Spirit in thy own heart, and instrumentally through thy Parents, Tutors, or Friends, and would not regard any of their Reproof, Then the Lord will mock at thy Calamity, and laugh when thy fear comes; when Distress and Anguish cometh upon thee, the Lord God Almighty therefore incline more and more the hearts of them (that are young and tender) unto him, and to stand in his awe and holy fear; that so you may lack no good thing, but may daily know the Lord to lead you in His way, that you may find Rest and Peace to your Souls Eternally, when ever it shall please the Lord to take you hence.   

CHAP. III. An Exhortation to Children, tenderly Advising them to improve their precious time, and to avoid the reading unprofitable Books, and telling idle Tales; as also, to read and learn the Holy Scripture according to the Examples of Ancient Protestants.  
ANd this is in my Mind, in much Love and Tenderness, by way of Counsel; further to add to you, who are the tender Offspring of believing Parents, that you may be careful to improve your precious time, which comes upon you with a silent foot, and swiftly passes away. And therefore may out days here be aptly compared to a Weavers Shuttle, and our Life to a Bubble in the Water, which suddenly rises, and in a Moment is down and no more to be seen; so it may be said of all Mankind, the young as well as they of riper years, they are here to day in a Mortal State, and to morrow may launch out either into Eternal Happiness, or everlasting Wo. And therefore let me entreat and persuade you for your present good, and future happiness, not to spend nor squander away your precious time, in Wildness, Vanity, or Foolish Delights; neither in the Hearing, Telling, or Reading any idle Tales, false Stories, lying Histories, or foolish Verses that tend not to any Godly Edifying, or informing your understandings in that which is good; but rather to the filling your Minds with unprofitable matter, which often occasions such like Discourse, for out of the Abundance of the Heart the Mouth speaks, and that commonly, which People's minds are most filled with, and taken up with all, that they mostly talk of and discourse about; let me therefore prevail with you frequently to Read the Holy Scriptures, and learn to say some Chapters thereof without looking on the Book. For the Waldenses who were a Religious People in their days, and great Sufferers for their Religion, took more care to have their Children Read and learn the Holy Scriptures, then to gratify their vain Minds, and Childish Humours; for in the History of the Waldenses, Book. 1. c. 5. P. 29. it's said as touching Erudition, Rainerius hath said, that they teach their Children, yea, even their Daughters, the Epistles and the Gospels.  
Jacobus de Riberia saith, that they were so well instructed in the Scriptures, that he hath heard a plain Countryman repeat the Book of Job Word by word, and divers others that could perfectly repeat the whole New Testament. And indeed it is much better to spend your time thus, and will be more comfort to your honest Patents and rejoicing to your Friends, that hearty wish and pray for your Welfare, then to see you play it away in Wildness and Vanity, and letting out your minds and lustings after the foolish fashions and vain Customs of the World, which will never procure any comfort to your tender Parents. Therefore once more I earnestly entreat you in unfeigned love to relinquish, forsake, and deny yourselves of those things that tends to your hurt, and let not the subtle Enemy that lies in wait to Ensnare, Captivate, and draw away your minds from the Principal of Truth (the Light and Spirit of Christ in your hearts and Consciences) or prevail upon you with any of his suggestions, that such an one doth so, or thus, and why may not I, and such an one hath come to Meetings long, and is esteemed an honest Friend, and he or she wears this, speaks that, or doth the other thing, and they should be our Examples, and therefore why may not I. These often are the suggestions of Satan, to draw and allure the minds of the young and tender from Truth in themselves, and to strengthen them in that which many times they know they ought not to do, and believe would be better if they did not, and by these and such like allurements of Satan, they are sometimes drawn away to their own Souls hurt, and grief of their tender Parents and Friends. And therefore lend not an Ear to him herein, for Satan's design is only to draw thee into and continue thee in Sin, that thou might be hardened against God, the reproof of his Spirit in thy heart, and the reproos and Counsel of thy Friends and tender Parents, and you may read the fearful portion of such, Prov. 29. 1. But if thou stand in awe of God, and abides in his fear, thou wilt be preserved out of these and all evil things, and will be taught to deny them, and wilt receive Wisdom from God, who is the fountain of it, to order thy Affairs with discretion, and will learn by it to honour thy Father and thy Mother according to Gods Command; to be subject to your Tutors, respectful to your Elders, loving to your Friends and Companions, and this will close that evil Eye Which Satan is ready to open in you, to look at this thing in one, and that in another, and to make an ill use thereof. And therefore live in God's fear that preserves you out of these things and you will have God's blessing, obtain his Favour, feel his Presence, be servants in his House, yea, heirs of his Kingdom, and inheritors among the Saints in Light, and receivers of a weighty Crown of Glory, as ye live and die in God's fear. And therefore this is the sum and conclusion of the whole matter, as Solomon said, fear God and keep his Commandments, for this is the whole Duty of Man. So in that true love and tenderness in which I began, I shall conclude with hearty desires, that you all may love and embrace that good Spirit of God in your own hearts, that inclines to love Virtue, Temperance, Meekness, Gentleness, Humility, and the fear of God; and will if you'll love and obey it bring forth in you the fruits of his Spirit which is in all goodness; and than you'll not reject this Counsel and Advice of him who is your real and alured Friend,  
John Field.    

POSTSCRIPT.  
ANd to show that it hath been the care of reputed Heathens, as well as Christians, that their Children might be well Educated, and gave their Advice accordingly. Take these following Instances.  
Plutarch a Heathen Schoolmaster to the Emperiour of Trajan, in his Book concerning the Education of Children, before he proceeds to many good precepts for the virtuous Education of Youth more grown up, Advises that even Nurse's retrain from telling Children Fables.  
And Phocylides (also instanced by him) says, that one ought to teach one even when a Child, things that are good. History Walden. Book 1. of their Doctrine, c. 3. p. 22. We must serve our Fathers and Mothers with all out Power, never debatinging or question with them with hard and bitter Speeches; but we must answer them humbly, and hearken lovingly to their Reprehensions; we must likewise honour them by Administering unto them things necessary for this Life. For Fathers and Mothers have nourished their Children with their own Flesh their proper substance; and Children nourish their Parents with that which is without their flesh, being impossible they should restore to them those benefits they have received of them. And touching the Instruction we have received of our Parents, we must obey them in whatsoever shall tend to our Salvation, and to a good end.  
And p. 38. of the same Book, a certain learned Father saith, that costly Apparel, Superfluity in Diet, Flay, Idleness, and Sleep, fatten the Body, nourish Luxury, weaken the Spirit, and lead the Soul into death. And therefore they commend a spare Diet, Labour, short Sleep, and poor Garments.  
Oh! that all People and Children, and especially, those that profess the Holy Truth, would follow the good Counsel and take the wholsesome advice of these People, who were under such a Godly care for their tender Offering. Surely, I may say of them they would not adorn their Daughters with Gold, or put them on Gold Chains, nor their Sons into slanting curled Periwigs, who gave this Christian Advise; which indeed, that Truth which Almighty God hath blessed a Remnant with the knowledge of answers unto, and will no doubt lead all them that hearty love and faithfully follow it, into that Plainness which becomes them that are of jacob's (the Plain Man's seed) and preserve every such one from going into (or practising) those things that the unchangeable Spirit of God, in and through the Apostle of Christ advised unto, as in 1 Pet. 3. 3, 4.  
Dear Friends,  
MY sincere desire and earnest breathing unto God hath been, is, and I hope ever shall be, that we may every one both Male and Female of all degrees, who have received the Truth in the love of it, increase in faithful obedience unto the same, so shall our strength in the in ward man be renewed, and our understanding more and more divinely opened, and kept open: by which we shall be in a fit Capacity to see and discern the deep workings of the Mystery of Iniquity at all times, who is not wanting now in a season of outward Liberty to use his endeavours to draw forth the mind from its inward retirements and constant watch in the Spirit, Light and Life, which we have in Measure received from the Father of Lights, into a careless easeful state to whom the woe is, and a standing idle in this day to lose our reward.  
Now this I can truly say, that the Lords Arm of Power is not shortened that it cannot save, but as we have known it revealed for our deliverance, and have in Measure witnessed Salvation by it; so it is the same now as ever it was, ready and able to preserve the mind, and keep it out of the snares which the Enemy lieth to catch us in.  
But this Principally I have to signify, that the Enemy is not contented to seek our hurt alone, but also he hath a deep design upon our tender Children the Offspring of our Bodies, endeavouring to corrupt them by drawing forth their Minds after the Vanity and Folly, Customs, and Fashions that is found without in the World that lieth in Wickedness, that so he may thereby harden their hearts, and turn them against the appearance of Truth within themselves; that so the holy seed which God hath sown, may not spring up in them to prepare them in their tender years, as Vessels for the Lords own use, nor to know and remember the God of their Fathers, and that they may not succeed them as true Heirs of the blessings of the most High, nor be faithful witnesses in their Generation, in a Holy Life and Conversation.  
Of this I am deeply sensible, and have more than an Ordinary exercise for the youth of our time, because of which I am drawn forth in Bowels of tender love, earnestly to entreat and beseech all believing Parents to put too their help, as the Lord shall enable (who is ready and willing as we breath to him) with might and power to work against this Enemy, and endeavour to undermine his wicked designs. First, in being good Examples of Virtue and Piety to our tender Children, and shuning every appearance that tends to the contrary. And secondly, not to be overcome with an extreme of love or fondness, because thereby (many times, and too often) such things are overlookt and passed by, which in the very bud, ought rather to be discountenanced with reproof or correction, as tending to the strengthening of the Enemy in his wicked designs as above mentioned.  
Oh that there were not cause for me to break forth into a Lamentation for the sake of many poor Children, who are hurt through their Parents extreme love or foolish fondness over them; but Oh! my Soul hath and doth lament over them. Saying, if there be any Truth in this Proveth, [that it is possible to kill with kindness] I am sure (with grief do I mention it) that many tender Children are like to be destroyed by this extreme Fondness from their fond Parents, except it be prevented by a timely Moderation.  
And sure, I am the Lord is displeased with such Parents whoever they are, whether Rich or Poor, for he is no respecter of Persons; for though this Proverb shall be no more used, Jer. 31. v 29, 30. In those days they shall say no more, the Fathers have eaten sour Grapes, and the children's Teeth are set on Edge; But every one shall die for his own iniquity, every man that eateth the sour Grapes, his Teeth shall be set on Edg.  
Yet where Parents through neglect of their duty of being good Examples to their Children in a holy life and Conversation, in the fear of God to give good Counsel, and instruct their Children in that which is good, and encouraging them therein; warning them of evil, reproving them and correcting for the same. I say, where Parents are thus negligent of their Duty to their tender Children, the Enemy doth prevail and bring to pass his designs, leads them down to the Chambers of Death and Darkness, where the Woe and Misery is; the blood of such Children will be required at their hands, Eze. 3.18. When I say unto the Wicked, thou shalt surely die, and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the Wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, the same Wicked Man shall die in his Iniquity, but his blood will I require at thine hand.  
But when Parents performs their Duty towards their Children, by letting their Light shine forth before them in a Holy Life and Conversation, not sparing good Counsel and Instruction in that which is good, warning and correcting them for Evil; yet notwithstanding, their Children turns their back on the good Counsel, and persist in their Iniquity, and turns not from it, they shall die therein, and their blood shall lie at their own Doors, and their Parents shall be clear, Eze. 3.19. Yet if thou warn the Wicked, and he turn not from his Wickedness, not from his Wicked way, he shall die in hit Iniquity, but thou hast delivered thy So●●▪  
From one that hath an exercise in body and spirit, for the sake of such Parents and Children as cause the Truth to suffer in themselves and others, because of their undutifulness to God and each other. Richard Scoryer. Wansworth the 15th. 7th. Month, 88  
THE END,