THE BALL.  
A COMEDY, As it was presented by her Majesty's Servants, at the private House in Drury Lane.  
Written by 

George Chapman,  
and James Shirley.    
LONDON, Printed by Tho. Cotes, for Andrew crook, and William Cooke. 1639.   

The Persons of the Comedy.  

LOrd Rainbow.  
Sir Ambrose Lamount.  
Sir Marmaduke Travers.  
colonel Winfield.  
Mr. Bostocke.  
Mr. Freshwater.  
Mr. Barker.  
monsieur Le Friske.  
gudgeon.  
Solomon.  
Confectioner.  
Servants.   

Lady Lucina.  
Lady Rosamond.  
Lady Honoria.  
Mistress Scutilla.  
Venus.  
Diana.    

THE BALL.  

Actus Primus.  Enter Sr. Marmaduke Travers, and Mr. Bostocke. Bos. 
WHether so fast Sr. Marmaduke, a word.  Mar. 
My honourable blood? would I could stay  
To give thee twenty, I am now engaged  
To meet a noble Gentleman.  Bos. 
Or rather  
A Gentlewoman, let her alone, and go  
With me.  Ma. 
Whether.  Bo. 
I'll show thee a Lady of fire.  Ma. 
A Lady of the Lake were not so dangerous.  Bo. 
I mean a spirit in few words, because  
I love thee, I'll be open. I am going  
To see my Mistress.  Ma. 
I'll dispense with my  
Occasion to see a handsome Lady,  
I know you'll choose a rare one.  Bo. 
She is a creature  
Worth admiration, such a beauty, wit,  
And an estate beside, thou canst not choose  
But know her name, the Lady Lucina.  Ma. 
Is she your Mistress?  Bo. 
Mine, whose but mine?  
Am I not nobly borne, does not my blood  
Deserve her?  Ma. 
To tell you truth, I was now going thither,  
Though I pretended an excuse, and with  
A Compliment from one that is your rival.  Bo. 
Does she love anybody else?  Ma. 
I know not,  
But she has half a score upon my knowledge  
Are suitors for her favour.  Bo. 
Name but one,  
And if he cannot show as many coats.  Ma. 
He thinks he has good cards for her, and likes  
His game well.  Bo. 
Be an understanding Knight,  
And take my meaning, if he cannot show  
As much in Heraldry.  Ma. 
I do not know how rich he is in fields,  
But he is a gentleman.  Bo. 
Is he a branch of the Nobility,  
How many Lords can he call cozen? else  
He must be taught to know he has presumed  
To stand in competition with me.  Ma. 
You won't kill him.  Bo. 
You shall pardon me,  
I have that within me must not be provoked,  
There be some living now that ha' been killed  
For lesser matters.  Ma. 
Some living that ha' been killed!  Bo. 
I mean some living that ha' seen examples,  
Not to confront Nobility, and I  
Am sensible of my honour.  Ma. 
His name is  
Sr. Ambrose.  Bo. 
Lamount a Knight of yesterday,  
And he shall die tomorrow, name another.  Ma. 
Not so fast Sir. you must take some breath.  Bo. 
I care no more for killing half a dozen  
Knights of the lower house, I mean that are not  
Descended from Nobility, than I do  
To kick any footman, and Sr. Ambrose were  
Knight of the Sun, King Oberon should not save him,  
Nor his Queen Mab.  Enter Sr. Ambrose Lamount. Ma. 
Unluckily he's here sir.  Bo. 
Sr. Ambrose  
How does thy Knighthood? ha.  Am. 
My Nymph of honour well, I joy to see thee.  Bo. 
Sr. Marmaduke tells me thou art suitor to  
Lady Lucina.  Am. 
I have ambition  
To be her servant.  Bos. 
Hast, thou'rt a brave Knight, and I commend  
Thy judgement.  Am. 
Sir Marmaduke himself leans that way too.  Bo. 
Why didst conceal it, come, the more the merrier,  
But I could never see you there.  Ma. 
I hope  
Sir we may live.  Bo. 
I'll tell you Gentlemen,  
Cupid has given us all one Livery,  
I serve that Lady too, you understand me,  
But who shall carry her, the fates determine,  
I could be knighted too.  Am. 
That would be no addition to  
Your blood.  Bo. 
I think it would not, so my Lord told me,  
Thou know'st my Lord, not the Earl, my other  
cousin, there's a spark his predecessors  
Have matched into the blood, you understand  
He put me upon this Lady, I proclaim  
No hopes, pray let's together Gentlemen;  
If she be wise, I say no more, she sha'not  
Cost me a sigh, nor shall her love engage me  
To draw a sword, I ha' vowed that.  Ma. 
You did but jest before.  Am. 
'twere pity that one drop  
Of your Heroic blood should fall toth' ground,  
Who knows but all your cousin Lords may die.  Ma. 
As I believe them not immortal sir.  Am. 
Then you are gulf of honour swallow all,  
May marry some Queen yourself, and get Princes  
To furnish the barren parts of Christendom.  Enter a servant Solomon. Sol. 
Sir Marmaduke in private? my Lady would  
Speak with you.  Am. 
'tis her servant, what's the matter?  Bo. 
I hope he is not sent for.  Sol. 
But come alone, I shall be troubled  
With their inquiries, but I'll answer 'em.  Am. 
Solomon?  Sol. 
My Lady would speak with you sir.  Am. 
Me?  Sol. 
Not too loud, I was troubled with Sr. Marmaduke.  Mar. 
This is good news.  Bo. 
I do not like this whispering,  Sol. 
Forget not the time, and to come alone.  Am. 
This is excellent.  Bo. 
Solomon, dost not know me?  Sol. 
My business is to you sir, these  
Kept me off, my Lady Lucina  
Has a great mind to speak with you,  
Little do these imagine how she honours me.  Bo. 
If I fail, may the Surgeon  
When he opens the next vein, let out all my honourable blood,  
There's for thy pains, what thou shalt be hereafter  
Time shall declare, but this must be concealed. Exit.  Am. 
You look pleasant.  Ma. 
No, no I have no cause, you smile Sr. Ambrose.  Am. 
Who I? the colonel.  Enter the colonel. Ma. 
But of our file, another of her suitors.  Am. 
Noble colonel.  Co. 
My honoured Knights, and men of lusty kindred.  Bo. 
Good morrow.  Co. 
Morrow to all Gentlemen, I'll tell you  
Who is returned?  Am. 
From whence.  Co. 
A friend of ours that went to travel.  Ma. 
Who, who?  Co. 
I saw him within these three minutes, and know not how I  
Lost him again, he's not far off, d'ee keep a Catalogue  
Of your debts.  Bo. 
What debts?  Co. 
Such dulness in your memory, there was  
About six months ago a Gentleman  
That was persuaded to sell all his land,  
And to put the money out most wisely,  
To have for one at his return from Venice,  
The shotten Herring, is hard by.  Am. 
Jack Freshwater, I'll not see him yet.  Bo. 
Must we pay him?  Co. 
It will be for your honour, marry we  
Without much stain, may happily compound,  
And pay him nothing.  Enter Freshwater, and monsieur Le Friske. 
Here comes the thing  
With what formality he treads, and talks,  
And manageth a toothpick like a Statesman.  Am. 
How he's transformed?  Ma. 
Is not his soul Italian?  Bo. 
I'll not bid him welcome home.  Am. 
Nor I.  Ma. 
What's the other Rat that's with him?  Co. 
D'ee not know him, 'tis the Court dancing weasel.  Ma. 
A Dancer, and so gay.  Co. 
A mere French footman Sir, does he not look  
Like a thing come off o'th' saltcellar.  Ma. 
A Dancer?  
I would allow him gay about the legs,  
But why his body should exceed decorum,  
Is a sin o'th' state.  Fre. 
That's all.  
I can inform you of their dance in Italy,  
Marry that very morning I left Venice,  
I had intelligence of a new device.  Mon. 
For the dance monsieur.  Fre. 
Si Signior, I know not  
What countryman invented, but they say  
There be Chopinoes made with such rare art,  
That worn by a Lady when she means to dance,  
Shall with their very motion sound forth music,  
And by a secret sympathy with their tread  
Strike any tune that without other instrument,  
Their feet both dance and play.  Mon. 
Your lodging monsieur,  
That when I have leisure I may dare  
Present an humble servitor.  Fre. 
I do lie  
At the sign of Dona Margaretta de Pia  
In the Strand.  Gud. 
At the maggot a Pie in the Strand sir.  Mon. 
At de magpie boon adieu serviteur. Exit.  Am. 
He won't know us.  Gud. 
D'ee see those Gentlemen.  Fre. 
Thou Platalone be silent.  Co. 
I'll speak to him,  
youare welcome home sir.  Fre. 
Signior. Exit.  Co. 
He won't know me, this is excellent,  
He shall be acquainted better, ere I part  
With any sums.  Am. 
Next time we'll not know him.  Bo. 
Would all my creditors had this blessed ignorance.  Ma. 
Now colonel I'll take my leave.  Bo. 
I am engaged too. Exeunt.  Co. 
Well.  Bo. 
I shall meet you anon,  
I am to wait upon a x of mine.  Co. 
A Countess.  Bo. 
My Lord? Enter Lord Rainbow and Barker.  Lor. 
x.  Bo. 
Your Lordship honours me in this acknowledgement.  Lo. 
colonel.  Bo. 
D'ee not know me sir?  Ba. 
youare not a proclamation that every man is bound to take notice on,  
And I cannot tell who you are by instinct.  Lo. 
A kinsman of mine Frank?  Co. 
Good morrow to your Lordship.  Lo. 
colonel? your humble servant, hark you Frank.  Bo. 
You are acquainted with my Lord then,  
Is he not a complete Gentleman? his family  
Came in with the Conqueror.  Co. 
You had not else been kin to him.  Bo. 
A poor slip, a scion from that honourable tree.  Co. 
He is the Lady's Idol, they ha' not leisure  
To say their prayers for him, a great advancer  
Of the new Ball.  Bo. 
Nay he's right, right as my leg colonel.  Co. 
But other Gentleman you do not know his inside.  Bo. 
I ha' seen him, he looks philosophical.  Co. 
Who! he's the wit, whom your Nobility  
Are much obliged to for his company,  
He has a railing genius, and they cherish it,  
Fling dirt in every face when he's i'th' humour,  
And they must laugh, and thank him, he is dead else.  Bo. 
Will the Lords suffer him.  Co. 
Or lose their mirth, he's known in every science,  
And can abuse 'em all, some ha' supposed  
He has a worm in's brain, which at some time  
Oth' Moon doth ravish him into perfect madness,  
And then he prophesies, and will depose  
The Emperor, and set up Bethalem Gabre.  Bo. 
he's dead, I hope he won't conjure for him.  Co. 
His father sha'not scape him nor his ghost,  
Nor heaven, nor hell, his jest must ha' free passage,  
he's gone, and I lose time to talk on him,  
Farewell,  
Your Countess  
May expect too long,  
Farewell colonel. Exeunt.  Enter Lady Rosomond, and Lady Honoria. Ros. 
Why do you so commend him?  Hon. 
Does he not  
Deserve it? name a gentleman in the Kingdom,  
So affable, so moving in his language,  
So pleasant, witty, indeed every thing  
A Lady can desire.  Ros. 
Sure thou dost love him,  
I'll tell his Lordship when I see him again,  
How zealous you are in his commendation.  Hon. 
If I be not mistaken, I have heard  
Your tongue reach higher in his praises Madam,  
howe'er you now seem cold, but if you tell him  
My opinion, as you shall do him no pleasure,  
You can do me no injury, I know  
His Lordship has the constitution  
Of other Courtiers, they can endure  
To be commended.  Ros. 
But I prithee tell me,  
Is not love whence this proceeds, I have  
I must confess discoursed of his good parts,  
Desired his company.  Ho. 
And had it?  Ros. 
Yes, and had it.  Ho. 
All night.  Ros. 
You are not I hope jealous,  
If I should say all night I need not blush,  
It was but at a Ball, but what of this?  Ho. 
e'en what you will  Ros. 
I hope you ha' no patent  
To dance alone with him, if he ha' privilege  
To kiss another Lady, she may say  
He does salute her, and return a curtsy  
To show her breeding, but I'll now be plainer,  
Although you love this Lord, it may possible  
He may dispose his thoughts another way.  Ho. 
He may so.  Ros. 
Who can help it, he has eyes  
To look on more than one, and understand  
Perhaps to guide, and place his love upon  
The most deserving object.  Ho. 
Most deserving,  
This language is not levill with that friendship,  
You have professed, this touches a comparison.  Ros. 
Why do you think all excellence is thronged  
Within your beauty.  Ho. 
You are angry Lady,  
How much does this concern you to be thus  
Officious in his cause, if you be not  
Engaged by more than ordinary affection.  
I must interpret this no kind respect  
To me.  Ros. 
Angry, ha, ha.  Ho. 
You then transgress against civility.  Ros. 
Good Madam why? because,  
I think, and tell you that another Lady  
May be as handsome in some man's opinion,  
Admit I loved him too, may not I hold  
Proportion with you, on some entreaty.  Enter Lord. Lor. 
They're loud, I'll not be seen yet.  Ros. 
What is it that exalts you above all  
Comparison? my father was as good  
A gentleman, and my mother has as great  
A spirit.  Ho. 
Then you love him too.  Ros. 
'twill appear  
No greater miracle in me I take it,  
Yet difference will be, perhaps I may  
Affect him with a better consequence.  Ho. 
Your consequence perhaps may be denied too,  
Why there are no such wonders in your eye  
Which other composition do not boast of,  
My Lord no doubt hath in his travels clapped  
As modest cheeks, and kissed as melting lips.  Ro. 
And yet mine are not pale.  Ho. 
It may be they blush for the teeth behind them.  Ro. 
I have read  
No sonnets on the sweetness of your breath.  Ho. 
'tis not perfumed.  Ro. 
But I have heard of your tongue exalted much,  
Highly commended.  Ho. 
Not above your forehead,  
When you have brushed away the hairy pentehrush,  
And made it visible.  Lo. 
I'll now interrupt 'em.  
They'll fall by the ears else presently.  Ho. 
My Lord.  Lo. 
What in contention Ladies?  Ro. 
Oh my Lord you're welcome.  Lo. 
Express it in discovery of that  
Made you so earnest, I am confident  
You were not practising a Dialogue  
To entertain me.  Ho. 
Yet it did concern you.  Ro. 
Do not you blush, fie Madam.  Lo. 
Nay and you come to blush once, and fie Madam,  
I'll know the secret, by this kiss I will,  
And this.  Ho. 
You were kissed first, discover now  
At your discretion.  Ro. 
My Lord we were in jest.  Ho. 
It might ha' turned to earnest, if your Lordship  
Had not interposed.  Lo. 
Come out with it.  Ro. 
We had a difference.  Lo 
Well said.  Ro. 
About a man i'th' world, you are best name him.  Ho. 
You have the better gift at telling secrets.  Lo. 
Yet again, come I'll help it out, there is  
A gentleman i'th' world, some call a Lord.  Ro. 
Did your Lordship overhear us?  Lo. 
Nay nay, you must stand to't,  
One, whom you  
Love, it will appear no greater miracle  
In you I take it, one no doubt that hath  
Travelled, and clapped as modest cheeks, and kissed  
As melting lips, thus far i'm right, but what  
Name this most happy man doth answer too,  
Is not within my circle.  Ho. 
Yet you know him.  Ro. 
Not to retain your Lordship i'th' dark,  
Confident you'll not accuse my modesty  
For giving you a truth, you shall not travel  
Beyond yourself to find his name, but do not  
Triumph my Lord.  Lo. 
Am I so fortunate,  
Then love I do forgive thee, and will cherish  
The flame I did suspect would ruin me,  
You two divide my love, only you two,  
Be gentle in your Empire heavenly Ladies,  
No enemy abroad can threaten you,  
Be careful then, that you maintain at home  
No civil wars.  Ho. 
How d'ee mean my Lord?  Lo. 
You are pleased to smile upon me gentle Lady,  
And I have took it in my heart more than  
Imaginary blessings with what pleasure  
Could I behold this beauty, and consume  
My understanding to know nothing else,  
My memory to preserve no other figure.  Ro. 
My Lord, I am not worth your flattery.  Lo. 
I flatter you? Venus herself be judge,  
To whom you are so like in all that's fair,  
'twere sin but to be modest.  Ro. 
How my Lord?  Lo. 
Do not mistake me, 'twere  
A sin but to be modest in your praises,  
Here's a hand, nature show me such another,  
A brow, a cheek, a lip, and every thing,  
Happy am I that Cupid's blind.  Ro. 
Why happy?  Lo. 
If he could see, he would forsake his Mistress  
To be my rival, and for thy embraces  
Be banished heaven.  Ho. 
My Lord I'll take my leave.  Lo. 
If you did know how great a part of me,  
Will wither in your absence, you would have  
More charity, one accent of unkind  
Language from you, doth wound me more than all  
The malice of my destinies, oh dear Madam,  
You say you'll take your leave of your poor servant;  
Say rather, you will dwell for ever here,  
And let me stay and gaze upon  
Your heavenly form.  Ho. 
I can be patient  
To hear your Lordship mock me, these are but  
A course reward for my good thoughts.  Lo. 
This 'tis to use plain dealing, and betray the inside  
Of our hearts to women, did you think well of me  
So late, and am I forfeited already,  
Am I a Christian?  Ho. 
Yes I hope my Lord.  Lo. 
Make me not miserable then, dear Madam,  
With your suspicion, I dissemble with you,  
But you know too well what command your beauty  
Has upon me.  Ho. 
Give me leave  
My Lord to wonder you can love me,  
With such a flame you have expressed yet she,  
Your mistress?  Lo. 
You are both my Mistresses.  Ro. 
I like not this so well.  Lo. 
There is no way but one to make me happy.  Ho. 
I wish my Lord I had the art to effect  
What you desire.  Ro. 
Or I.  Lo. 
It is within  
Your powers.  Ho. 
Speak it my Lord.  Lo. 
Since it is so  
That I'm not able to determine which  
My heart, so equal unto both, would choose,  
My suit is to your virtues, to agree  
Between yourselves, whose creature I shall be,  
You can judge better of your worths than I,  
My allegiance shall be ready if you can  
Conclude which shall ha' the supremacy;  
Take pity on your servant gentle Ladies,  
And reconcile a heart too much divided,  
So with the promise of my obedience  
To her that shall be fairest, wisest, sweetest  
Of you two, when I next present a lover,  
I take distracted leave. Exit.  Ho. 
Why, this is worse than all the rest.  Ro. 
he's gone,  
And has referred himself to us.  Ho. 
This will  
Ask counsel.  Ro. 
And some time I would be loath  
To yield.  Ho. 
And I, Cupid instruct us both. Exeunt.   

Actus Secundus.  Enter Barker, Freshwater, and Gudgine. Bar. 
ANd what made you to undertake this voyage,  
Sweet Signior Freshwater.  Fr. 
An affection  
I had to be acquainted with some countries.  Gud. 
Give him good words.  Ba. 
And you return fraught home with the rich devices,  
Fashions of steeples, and the situations  
Of galouses, and wit no doubt a bushel,  
What price are Oats in Venice?  Fr. 
Signior  
I kept no horses there, my man, and I  Ba. 
Were Asses.  Fr. 
How Signior?  Gud. 
Give him good words, a Pox take him.  Ba. 
Had not you land once?  Fr. 
I had some durrie acres.  Gud. 
I am his witness.  Fr. 
Which I reduced into a narrow compass,  
Some call it selling.  Gud. 
He would sell bargains of a child.  Fr. 
And 'twas a thriving policy.  Ba. 
As how?  Fr. 
It was but two hundred pound Per annum sir,  
A loan revenue.  Ba. 
And did you sell it all?  Fr. 
I did not leave an acre, rod, or perch,  
That had been no discretion, when I was selling  
I would sell to purpose, do you see this roll,  
I have good security for my money sir,  
Not an egg here but has five chickens in't,  
I did most politicly disburse my sums,  
To have five for one at my return from Venice,  
And now I thank my stars I am at home.  Ba. 
And so by consequence in three months your estate  
Will be five times as much or quintupled.  Fr. 
Yes Signior quintupled,  
I won't purchase yet I mean to use  
This trick seven years together, first  
I'll still put out, and quintuply as you call't,  
And when I can in my Exchequer tell  
Two, or three Millions, I will fall a purchasing.  Ba. 
kingdoms I warrant.  Fr. 
I have a mind to buy  
Constantinople from the Turk, and give it  
The Emperor.  Ba. 
What think you of jerusalem?  
If you would purchase that, and bring it nearer,  
The Christian pilgrims would be much obliged to ye,  
When did you wash your socks?  Fr. 
I wear none Signior.  Ba. 
Then 'tis your breath, to your lodging, and perfume it,  
You'll tell the sweeter lies to them that will  
Lose so much time to ask about your travel,  
You won't sell your debts?  Fr. 
Sell 'em, no Signior.  Ba. 
Have you as much left in ready cash as will  
Keep you and this old troll a fortnight longer,  
Die, and forgive the world, thou mayst be buried,  
And ha' the Church-cloth, if you can put in  
Security, the Parish shall be put  
To no more charge, dost thou hope to have a penny  
Of thy own money back, is this an age  
Of five for one, die ere the town takes notice,  
There is a hideous woman carries ballets,  
And has a singing in her head, take heed  
And hang thyself, thou mayst not hear the time,  
You remember Coriate.  Fr. 
Honest Tom Odcombe.  Ba. 
we'll ha' more verses o'thy travels Coxcomb,  
Books shall be sold in bushels in Cheap side,  
And come in like the Peascods, wain loads full  
Of thee, and thy man Apple john that looks  
As he had been a seven-night in the straw  
A ripening for the market, farewell Rusiting,  
Thou art not worth my spleen, do not forget  
My counsel, hang thyself, and thou go'st off  
Without a session's. Exit.  Fr. 
Fine, I'm glad he's gone, Gudgine, what dost thou think.  Gud. 
I think y'are well rid of railing Madcap.  Fr. 
Nay, nay he'll not spare a Lord  
But were not I best call in my money's gudgeon,  
My estate won't hold out, I must be more  
Familiar with my gentlemen. Enter Lord.  Lo. 
Jack Freshwater welcome from Venice.  Fr. 
I thank your honour.  Lo. 
Was it not Frank Barker that parted from you?  Fr. 
Yes my Lord.  Lo. 
What's the matter?  Fr. 
There is a sum, my Lord.  Lo. 
Where is it Signior?  Fr. 
There was a sum my Lord delivered  
From your poor servant Freshwater.  Lo. 
I remember,  
But I have business now, come, home to me,  
The money's safe, you were to give me five  
For one at your return.  Fr. 
I five? Your Lordship has forgot the Cinquepace.  Lo. 
Something it is, but when I am at leisure  
We will discourse of that, and of your travel,  
Farewell Signior. Exit.  Fr. 
Is't come to this? if Lords play fast and loose,  
What shall poor Knights, and gentlemen?  
Hum, 'tis he. Enter colonel.  Co. 
A Pox upon him, what makes he in my way.  Fr. 
Noble colonel.  Co. 
Que dite vous monsieur.  Fr. 
Que dite vous?  Co. 
A wy, je ne pa parlee Anglois,  
There were five English pieces.  Co. 
je ne parle Anglois, me speak no word English,  
Votre seviteur. Exit.  Fr. 
Adieu five pieces,  
gudgeon gape, is't not he?  
They won't use me of'is fashion,  
Did he not speak to me i'th' morning?  Gud. 
Yes sir.  Fr. 
I think so,  
But then you would not know him in Italian,  
And now he will not know you in French.  Fr. 
Call you this selling of land, and putting out money  
To multiply estate?  Gud. 
To quintuply five for one, large interest.  Fr. 
Five for one, 'tis ten to one if I get my principal.  Gud. 
Your roll is not at the bottom, yet try the rest.  Fr. 
I ha, Signior farewell. Exeunt.  Enter Scutilla and Solomon. Scu. 
Didst speak with the colonel?  Sol. 
I met him opportunely after all the rest,  
And told him how much it would concern  
His livelihood to make haste.  Scu. 
He must not be seen yet, you know where  
To attend for him, give him access by  
The garden to my chamber, and bring  
Me nimbly knowledge when he is there.  Sol. 
I shall forsooth. Exit.  Enter the Dancer, Lady Rosomond, Lady Lucina, and Lady Honoria. Dan. 
Very well an dat be scurvy you run trot, trot, trot,  
Pisha, follow me, fout Madame, can you not tell  
So often learning— Madam you foot it now  
Plam it ill. Another Lady dances.  
Excellent, better den excellent pishaw— you be laughed  
When you come to do Ball; I teach tree hundred, never  
Forgot so much, me sweat taking pain, and fiddling Ladies.  Luc. 
Fiddling Ladies, you mole-catcher.  Dan. 
Purquoy for telling you  
Dance not well, you commit fat, and beat me for my  
Diligence becar you dance your pleasure.  Ho. 
No monsieur Le Friske put not up your pipe, my Lady  
Was but in jest, and you must take it for a favour.  Dan. 
I veare no favours in dat place, should any gentleman  
Of England give me blow, diable me teach him French Passage.  Ro. 
Nay you sha'not be so angry, I must have a Coronte,  
Pray Madam be reconciled.  Luc. 
Come monsieur I am sorry.  Dan. 
Sorre, tat is too much par ma foy, I kiss tat white hand,  
Give me one two tree buffets, aller, aller look up your  
Countenance, your English man spoil you, he no teach  
You look up, pishaw, carry your body in the swimming  
Fashion, and deum allei moy moselle ha, ha, ha,  
So for boon excellent becar. Dance.  Luc. 
Nay a Country dance Scutilla, you are idle,  
You know we must be at the Ball anon, come.  Dan. 
Where is the Ball this night.  Luc. 
At my Lord Rainbows.  Dan. 
Oh he dance finely becar, he deserve the Ball of de world,  
Fine, fine gentleman, your oder men dance lop, lop with  
De lame leg as they want crushes begore, and look for  
Argent in the ground pishaw,  They dance a new Country Dance. 
Hah, hah, for boon.  Ro. 
Now madam we take our leave.  Luc. 
I'll recompense this kind visit: does your coach stay?  Ho. 
Yes Madam,  
Your Ladyship will be too much troubled.  Luc. 
I owe more service.  Scu. 
monsieur you'll begone too.  Dan. 
I have more Lady, my Scholars.  Sciu. 
Is that the way of your instrument.  Dan. 
All a murdu France, fit, fit adieu  
Madam votre serviteur,  
Adieu demi monsieur. Exeunt.  Enter Solomon and colonel. Scu. 
Sir, you are welcome.  Co. 
I thank you Lady.  Scu. 
The time's too narrow to discourse at large,  
But I intend you a service,  
You have deserved it  
In your own nobleness to one I call a kinsman,  
Whose life without your charity had been  
Forfeit to his general's anger, 'twas not  
Without his cause you after quit your regiment.  Co. 
He was my friend, forget it.  Scu. 
You were sent for  
By the Lady Lucina.  Co. 
Whose command I wait.  Scu. 
'twas my desire to prepare you for  
The entertainment, be but pleased to obscure  
yourself behind these hangings a few minutes,  
I hear her, you may trust me.  Co. 
Without dispute, I obey you Lady.  Enter Lady Lucina. Luc. 
Now Scutilla we are ripe, and ready  
To entertain my Gamesters, my man said  
They promised all to come, I was afraid  
These Ladies in their kind departure would not  
Bequeath me opportunity, and the mirth  
Doth in the imagination so tickle me,  
I would not willingly ha' lost it for a Jewel  
Of some value.  Scu. 
Then your purchase holds.  Luc. 
If they hold their affections, and keep touch,  
we'll ha' some sport. Enter Solomon.  Sol. 
Sr. Marmaduke Travers.  Luc. 
Away Scutilla, and  
Laugh not loud between our acts, we'll meet  
Again like music, and make ourselves merry.  Scin. 
I wait near you.  Enter Sr. Marmaduke. Luc. 
Sr. Markmaduke I thought I should have had  
Your visit without a summons.  Ma. 
Lady you gave  
One feather to the wings I had before,  
Can there be at last a service to employ  
Your creature?  Luc. 
Something hath pleaded for you in your absence.  Ma. 
Oh let me dwell upon your hand, my stars  
Have then remembered me again.  Luc. 
How do the Fens?  
Goes the draining forward, and your Iron Mills?  Mar. 
draining, and Iron Mills? I know not Madam.  Luc. 
Come, you conceal your industry, and care  
To thrive, you need not be so close to me.  Ma. 
By this hand Lady, have I any Iron Mills?  Luc. 
I am abused else, nay I do love  
One that has Windmills in his head.  Ma. 
How Madam?  Lu. 
Projects, and Proclamations, did not you  
Travel to Yarmouth to learn how to cast  
Brass buttons, nay I like it, it is an age  
For men to look about 'em, shall I trust  
My estate to one that has no thrift, a fellow  
But with one face? my husband shall be a janus,  
He cannot look too many ways, and is  
Your patent for making Vinegar confirmed:  
What a face you put upon't nay, ne'er dissemble,  
Come I know all, you'll thank that friend of yours,  
That satisfied my inquiry of your worth  
With such a welcome character, but why  
Do I betray myself so fast? beshrew  
His commendations.  Ma. 
How is this? somebody  
That meant me well, and knew her appetite  
To wealth hath told this of me, I'll make use on't;  
Well Madam, I desired these things more private  
Till something worth a mine, which I am now  
Promoving had been perfect to salute you,  
But I perceive you hold intelligence  
In my affairs, which I interpret love,  
And I'll requite it, will you be content  
Be a cOUNTESS for the present.  Luc. 
I shall want  
No honour in your love.  Ma. 
When shall we marry?  Luc. 
Something must be prepared.  Ma. 
A licence, and say no more,  
How blessed am I, do not blush,  
I won't kiss your lip, till I ha' brought it. Exit  Luc. 
Ha, ha, Scutilla.  Scu. 
Be secret still.  Luc. 
Canst thou not laugh?  Scu. 
Yes Madam you have kept your word,  
The Knights transported, gone  
To prepare things for the wedding.  Luc. 
How didst thou like the Iron Mills.  Scu. 
And the Brass buttons rarely, have you devices  
To jeer the rest.  Luc. 
All the regiment on 'em, or I'll break my bowstrings.  Sol. 
Sr. Ambrose Lamount.  Luc. 
Away, and let the Swallow enter.  Enter Sr. Ambrose, and Solomon. Luc. 
Why Sirrah, did I command you give access to none?  
But Sr. Ambrose Lamount?  
Whom you know I sent for,  
Audacious Groom.  Sol. 
It is Sir, Madam.  Luc. 
It is Sr. Ambrose Coxcomb, is it not,  
Cry mercy noble sir, I took you muffled  
For one that every day solicits me  
To bestow my little dog upon him, but you're welcome,  
I think I sent for you.  Am. 
It is my happiness  
To wait your service Lady.  Luc. 
I hear say you have vowed to die a Bachelor,  
I hope it is not true sir.  Am. 
I die a Bachelor?  Luc. 
And that you'll turn religious Knight.  Am. 
I turn religious Knight, who has abused me?  Luc. 
I would only know the truth, it were great pity,  
For my own part I ever wished you well,  
Although in modesty I have been silent,  
Pray what's o'clock?  Am. 
how's this?  Luc. 
I had a dream last night, methought I saw you  
Dance so exceedingly rarely, that I fell  
In love.  Am. 
In love with me.  Luc. 
With your legs sir.  Am. 
My leg is at your service to come over.  Luc. 
I wondered at myself, but I considered,  
That many have been caught with handsome faces,  
So my love grew.  Am. 
Upwards.  Luc. 
What followed in my dream  
I ha' forgot.  Am. 
Leave that to finish waking!  Luc. 
Since the morning  
I find some alteration, you know  
I have told you twenty times I would not love you,  
But whether 'twere your wisdom or your fate  
You would not be satisfied, now I know not  
If something were procured, what I should answer.  Am. 
A licence, say no more.  Luc. 
Would were my estate were doubled.  Am. 
For my sake.  Luc. 
You have not Purchased since you fell in love?  Am. 
Not much land.  Luc. 
Revels have been some charge to you, you were ever  
A friend to Ladies, pity but he should rise  
By one, has fallen with so many, had you not  
A head once?  Am. 
A head? I have one still.  Luc. 
Of hair I mean,  
Favours ha' gleaned too much, pray pardon me  
If it were mine, they should go look their bracelets,  
Or stay till the next crop, but I blush sir  
To hold you in this discourse, you will perhaps  
Construe me in a wrong sense; but you may use  
Your own discretion till you know me better,  
Which is my soul's ambitions.  Am. 
I am blessed.  Cor. 
Cunning gipsy she'll use me thus too  
When I come to't?  Am. 
Lady I know your mind, when I see you next. Exit.  Luc. 
You'll see me again, ha ha ha, Scutilla.  Scu. 
Here Madam almost dead with stifling my laughter,  
Why he's gone for a Licence, you did enjoin him no Silence.  Luc. 
I would have 'em all meet and brag o'their several  
Hopes they won't else be sensible, and quit me o'their  
Tedious visitation, who's next?  
I would the colonel were come,  
I long to have about with him.  Sol. 
Mr. Bostocke Madam.  Luc. 
Retire, and give the lay admittance.  Enter Bostocke. Bo. 
Madam, I kiss your fair hand.  Luc. 
Oh Mr. Bostocke,  Bo. 
The humblest of your servants.  Luc. 
Two not become your birth, and blood to stoop  
To such a title.  Bo. 
I must confess dear Lady,  
I carry in my veins more precious honour  
Then other men, blood of a deeper crimson,  
But you shall call me any thing.  Luc. 
Not I sir,  
It would not become me to change your title,  
Although I must confess I could desire  
You were less honourable.  Bo. 
Why I prithee,  
Is't a fault to spring from the Nobility?  
There be some men have sold well favoured Lordships,  
To be ill favoured Noblemen, and though  
I wear no title of the state, I can  
Adorn a Lady.  Luc. 
That is my misfortune,  
I would you could not sir.  Bo. 
Are you the worse  
For that? consider Lady.  Luc. 
I have considered,  
And I could wish with all my heart you were  
Not half so noble, nay indeed no Gentleman.  Bo. 
How Lady?  Luc. 
Nay, if you give me leave to speak my thoughts,  
I would you were a fellow of two degrees  
Beneath a foot man, one that had no kindred,  
But Knights o'th' post, nay worse, pardon me sir,  
In the humour I am in, I wish, and heartily,  
You were a son o'th' people rather then.  Bo. 
Good Madam give me your reason.  Luc. 
Because I love you.  Bo. 
Few women wish so ill to whom they love.  Luc. 
They do not love like me then.  Bo. 
Say you so.  Luc. 
My wealths a beggar, nay the title of  
A Lady which my husband left, is a shadow  
Compared to what you bring to ennoble me,  
And all the children you will get, but I  
Out of my love desire you such a one,  
That I might add to you, that you might be  
Created by my wealth, made great by me,  
Then should my love appear, but as you are,  
I must receive addition from you.  Bo. 
nobody hears, why hark you Lady, could  
You love me, if I were less honourable?  Luc. 
Honourable? why you cannot be so base  
As I would have you, that the world might say  
My marriage gave you somewhat.  Bo. 
Say you so,  
Under the Rose, if that will do you a pleasure,  
The Lords do call me x, but I am.  Luc. 
What?  Bo. 
Suspected.  Luc. 
How?  Bo. 
Not to be lawful, I came in at the Wicket,  
Some call it the Window.  Luc. 
Can you prove it.  Bo. 
Say no more.  Luc. 
Then I prefer you before all my suitors,  
Sr. Ambrose Lamount, and Sr. Marmaduke  
Travers are all mountebanks.  Bo. 
What say to the colonel.  Luc. 
A Lanse pre sado, how my joy transports me,  
But shall I trust to this, do not you flatter?  
Will not you fly from that, and be legitimate,  
When we are married, you men are too cunning  
With simple Ladies.  Bo. 
Do but marry me,  
I'll bring the Midwife.  Luc. 
Say no more, provide  
What you think necessary, and all shall be  
Dispatched.  Bo. 
I guess your meaning, and thus seal  
My best devotion. Exit.  Scu. 
Away now and present yourself.  Luc. 
Oh Scutilla, hold me, I shall fall  
In pieces else, ha ha, ha.  Scu. 
Beshrew me Madam, but I wonder  
At you, you wound him rarely up.  Luc. 
Have not I choice of precious husbands? now and  
The colonel were here, the task  
Were over.  Scu. 
Then you might go play,  
Madam the colonel.  Enter colonel. Lue. 
Is he come once more? withdraw, bid him march hither.  Co. 
Now is my turn Madam.  Luc. 
youare welcome sir, I thought you would have gone,  
And not graced me so much as with a poor  
Salute at parting.  Co. 
Gone whither?  Luc. 
To the wars.  Co. 
She jeers me already, no Lady I'm already  
Engaged to a siege at home, and till that service  
Be over, I inquire no new employments.  Luc. 
For honour's sake what siege?  Co. 
A Citadel,  
That several forces are set down before,  
And all is entrenched.  Luc. 
What Citadel?  Co. 
A woman.  Luc. 
She cannot hold out long.  Co. 
Ostend was sooner taken then her for't  
Is like to be for any thing I perceive.  Luc. 
Is she so well provided?  Co. 
Her provision  
May fail her, but she is devilish obstinate,  
She fears nor fire nor famine.  Luc. 
What's her name?  Co. 
Lucina.  Luc. 
Ha ha ha, alas poor colonel;  
If you'll take my advice remove your siege,  
A province will be sooner won in the  
Low countries, ha ha ha.  Co. 
Lady, you sent for me.  Luc. 
'twas but to tell you my opinion in this business,  
You'll sooner circumcise the Turks dominions,  
Then take this toy you talk off, I do know it,  
Farewell good Soldier, ha ha ha, and yet 'tis pity,  
Is there no stratagem, no trick, no undermine;  
If she be given so desperate, your body  
Had need to be well victualled, there's a city  
And suburbs in your belly, and you must  
Lay in betimes to prevent mutiny  
Among the small guts, which with wind of venge else  
Will break your guard of buttons, ha ha ha  
Come we'll laugh, and lie down in the next room Scutilla.  Exit. Co. 
So so, I did expect no good,  
Why did not I strike her, but I'll do something,  
And be with you to bring before you think out,  
Malice and mercury assist me. Exit.   

Actus Tertius.  Enter Lord and Barker. Ba. 
SO so, you've a precious time on't.  Lor. 
Who can help it Frank, if Ladies will  
Be wild, repentance tame 'em, for my part  
I court not them, till they provoke me to't.  Ba. 
And do they both affect you.  Lo. 
So they say,  
And did justify it to my face.  Ba. 
And you did praise their modesty.  Lo. 
I confess I praised 'em  
Both when I saw no remedy.  Ba. 
You did, and they believed.  Lo. 
Religiously?  Ba. 
Do not  
Do not believe it my young Lord, they'll make  
Fools of a thousand such, they do not love you.  Lo. 
Why, and shall please your wisdom?  Ba. 
They are women,  
That's a reason, and may satisfy you,  
They cannot love a man.  Lo. 
What then?  Ba. 
Themselves,  
And all little enough, they have a trick  
To conjure with their eyes, and perhaps raise  
A masculine spirit, but lay none.  Lo. 
Good Cato  
Be not over-wise now, what's the reason  
That women are not sainted in your Calendar,  
You have no frosty constitution?  Ba. 
Would you were half so honest.  Lo. 
Why a woman  
May love thee one day.  Ba. 
Yes when I make legs  
And faces like such fellows as you are.  Lo. 
monsieur La Friske. Enter monsieur La Friske.  Moun. 
Serviteur.  Lo. 
Nay Frank thou shalt not go.  Ba. 
I'll come again when you ha' done your jig.  Moun. 
A monsieur.  Lo. 
Come you shall sit down, this fellow will make thee laugh.  Ba. 
I shall laugh at you both, and I stay.  Lo. 
Hark you monsieur, this gentleman has a great  
Mind to learn to dance.  Moun. 
He command my service,  
Please your Lordship begin that he may  
See your profit alkey— hah.  Lo. 
How like you this Frank?  Ba. 
Well enough for the dog-days, but have  
You no other dancing for the Winter, a man  
May freeze and walk thus.  Moun. 
It be all your grace monsieur, your  
Dance be horseplay begar for de stable not  
De chamber, your ground passage hah  
Never hurt de backe monsieur, nor trouble  
De leg much, hah plait ill you learn  
monsieur.  Lo. 
For mirth' sake, and thou lovest me.  Moun. 
Begar I teach you presently, dance with all de  
Grace of de body for your good, and my profit.  Ba. 
Pardon me my Lord.  Moun. 
Oh not pardonne moy.  Lo. 
Do but observe his method  Ba. 
I shall never endure it, pox upon him.  Mo. 
'tis but dis in de beginning, one, two, tree, four, five, the  
Cinquepace, alley monsieur, stand upright an begar.  Lo. 
Let him set you in tooth posture.  Mo. 
My brother my Lord know well for de little kit he fiddle  
And me for de posture of de body, begar de King has no too  
Sush subjects hah, dear be one foot, two foot, have  
You tree foot, begar you have more den I have den.  Ba. 
I shall break his fiddle.  Lo. 
Thou art so humorous.  Moun. 
One, been two hah, you go to fast, you be at Dover  
Begar, and me be at Greenwich, tree toder leg pishaw.  Ba. 
A pox upon your legs, I'll no more.  Moun. 
Purquoy.  Lo. 
Ha ha ha, I would some Ladies were here to laugh  
At thee now, you won't be so rude to meddle with  
The monsieur in my lodging.  Ba. 
I'll kick him to death, and bury him in a bass-viol jackalent.  Mo. 
jackalent, begar you be Jackanapes, if I had my weapon  
You durst no affront me, I be as good gentleman, an for  
All my fiddle as you, call me a jack a de lent.  Lo. 
Rail upon him monsieur, I'll secure thee, ha ha ha.  Moun. 
Because your leg have de poc, or something dat make  
'em no vell, and frisk, you make a fool of a monsieur.  
My Lord use me like Gentleman, an I care no rush for  
You, be desperate, kill me, and me complain to de  
King, and teach new dance, galliard to de gibbet, you  
Be hanged in English fashion. Exit  Ba. 
Go, you'rear'e an impertinent Lord, and I will be revenged  Lo. 
Ha, ha, good Diogenes, come monsieur,  
You and I won't part yet.  Moun. 
My Lord, if you had not been here, me would have  
Broken his head with my fiddle.  Lo. 
You might sooner have broke your fiddle, but strike up.  Moun. 
Allei hah boon. They Dance in.  Enter Bostocke. Bo. 
I spy Sir Marmaduke coming after me,  
This way I'll take to avoid his tedious questions,  
he'll interrupt me, and I ha' not finished  
Things fit for my design.  Enter Sr. Ambrose. Am. 
'tis Mr Bostocke, little does he think  
What I am going upon, I fear I sha'not  
Contain my joys.  Bo. 
Good fortune to Sr. Ambrose.  Am. 
Sir you must pardon, I cannot wait  
Upon you now, I ha' business of much consequence.  Bo. 
I thought to have made the same excuse to you,  
For at this present I am so engaged.  Am. 
We shall meet shortly.  Both. 
Ha ha ha.  Bo. 
Poor Gentleman how is he beguiled.  Am. 
Your nose is wiped, hum, 'tis Sr. Marmaduke,  Enter Sr. Marmaduke. 
I must salute him.  Bo. 
The colonel? there's no going back.  Ma. 
What misfortune's this? but 'tis no matter,  
Noble sir how is't?  Am. 
As you see sir.  Co. 
As I could wish noble Mr. Bostocke,  Bo. 
Your humble servant colonel.  Co. 
Nay nay a word.  Ma. 
I sha'not forbear jeering these poor things,  
They shall be mirth.  Co. 
What all met so happily? and how my  
Sparks of honour?  Am. 
Things so tickle me,  
I shall break out.  Co. 
When saw, you our Mistress Lady Lucina.  Am. 
My suit is cold there, Mr. Bostocke carries  
The Lady clean before him.  Bo. 
No no not, it is Sr. Marmaduke.  Ma. 
I glean by smiles after Sr. Ambrose.  Co. 
None of you see her today?  
I may as soon marry the Moon, and get  
Children on her, I see her not this three days,  
'tis very strange, I was to present my service  
This morning.  Ma. 
You'll march away with all.  Co. 
I cannot tell, but there's small sign of victory,  
And yet methinks you should not be neglected,  
If the Fens go forward, and your Iron Mills.  Ma. 
Has she betrayed me?  Co. 
Some are industrious,  
And have the excellent skill to cast brass buttons.  Ma. 
colonel softly.  Co. 
How will you sell your vinegar a pint,  
The Patent something saucy.  Am. 
The colonel jeers him.  Bo. 
Excellent, ha ha.  Co. 
Had not you a head once,  
Of hair I mean, favours ha' gleaned too much,  
If Ladies will ha' bracelets, let 'em stay  
Till the next crop.  Am. 
Hum, the very language she used to me.  Bo. 
Does he jeer him too, nay nay, prithee spare him. ha, ha.  Co. 
You may do much, and yet I could desire  
You were less honourable, for though you have  
Blood of a deeper crimson, the good Lady  
Out of her love could wish you were a thing  
Beneath a foot man, and that you had no kindred  
But Knights o'th' post.  Bo. 
Good colonel.  Co. 
Nay pardon me,  
In the humour I am in, I wish, and heartily,  
You were a son o'th' people.  Bo. 
colonel,  
How the devil came he by this?  Co. 
Under the Rose there was a gentleman  
Came in at the Wicker, these are tales of which  
The Greeks have store, fair hopes Gentlemen.  Mar. 
How came you by this intelligence.  Co. 
Nay I'll no whispering, what I say to one  
Will concern every man, she has made  
You coxcombs.  Am. 
It does appear.  Co. 
And more than does appears yet  
I had my share.  Bo. 
That's some comfort, I was afraid.  Co. 
But you shall pardon me, I'll conceal  
The particulars of her bountiful abuses  
To me, let it suffice I know we are all  
jeered most abominably, I stood behind  
The hangings when she signed your several passes,  
And had my own at last worse than the Constables,  
That this is true, you shall have more than oath,  
I'll join we in revenge, and if you won't,  
I will do't alone.  Ma. 
She is a devil.  Am. 
Damn her then, till we think on something else,  
let's all go back, and rail upon her.  Bo. 
Agreed, a pox upon her.  Ma. 
We cannot be too bitter, she's a hell Cat.  Am. 
D'ee hear, listen to me our shames are equal,  
Yet if we all discharge at once upon her,  
We shall but make confusion, and perhaps  
Give her more cause to laugh, let us choose one,  
To curse her for us all.  Co. 
'tis the best way, and if you love me gentlemen,  
Engage me, I deserve this favour for my  
Discovery, I'll swear her into hell.  Ma. 
Troth I ha' no good vein, I me content.  Bo. 
Gentlemen, noble colonel as you respect  
A wounded branch of the Nobility,  
Make it my office, she abused me most, and if  
The devil do not furnish me with language,  
I'll say he has no malice.  Co. 
If they consent.  Mar. Am. 
With all our hearts.  Bo. 
I thank you gentlemen.  Co. 
But let's us all together, I'll not be barred,  
Now and then to interpose an oath,  
As I shall find occasion.  Bo. 
You'll relieve me  
When I take breath, than you may help, or you,  
Or any to confound her.  Co. 
Let away.  Bo. 
Never was witch so tortured. Exeunt  Enter Freshwater, Gudgin, and Solomon. Sol. 
Noble Mr. Freshwater welcome from travel.  Fr, 
Where be the Ladies?  So. 
In the next room sir;  
My Lady Rosamond is sitting for her picture,  
I presume you will be welcome.  Fr. 
An English Painter?  So. 
Yes sir.  Fr. 
Prithee let me see him.  He gives Freshwater access to the Chamber and returns. Sol, 
This way,  
Honest gudgeon,  
How, and the matters abroad, a touch of  
Thy travel, what news.  Gud. 
First, let me understand the state of things  
At home.  So. 
We have little alteration since thou went'st,  
The same news are in fashion,  
Only gentlemen are fain to ramble, and stumble  
For their flesh since the breach o'th' bank side.  Gud. 
Is my aunt defunct.  So. 
Yet the Viragoes ha' not lost their spirit, some on  
'Em have challenged the field, every day where  
Gentlemen have met 'em, oh the dog-days bit  
Shrewdly, 'twas a villaInous dead vacation.  Gud. 
Is Paul's alive still?  Sol. 
Yes, yes, a little sick o'th' stone, she voids some  
Every day, but she is now in physic,  
And may in time recover.  Gud. 
The Exchange stands?  Sol. 
Longer than a Church,  
There is no fear while the Merchants have faith;  
A little of thy travels, for the time is precious, what  
Things have you seen or done since you left England?  Gud. 
I have not leisure to discourse of particulars, but first  
My Mr. and I have run France through, and through.  So. 
Through and through, how is that man?  Gud. 
Why once forward, and once backward, that's through  
And through.  Sol. 
'twas but a cowardly part to run a Kingdom  
Through backward.  Gud. 
Not with our horses Solomon, not with our horses.  Enter Freshwater and Lady Rosomond. Fr. 
Madam, I did not think your Ladyship  
Had so little judgement  So. 
As how signior?  Fr. 
As to let an English man draw  
Your Picture, and such rare Mounsieurs in town.  Ro. 
Why not English?  Fr. 
Oh by no means Madam,  
They ha' not active pencils.  Ros. 
Think you so.  Fre. 
You must encourage strangers while you live,  
It is the Character of our nation,  
We are famous for dejecting our own countrymen.  Ros. 
Is that a principle.  Fre. 
Who teaches you to dance?  Ros. 
A Frenchman Signior.  Fre. 
Why so, 'tis necessary,  
Trust while you live the Frenchman with your legs,  
Your faces with the Dutch, if you mislike  
Your faces, I mean if it be not sufficiently  
Painted, let me commend upon my credit  
A precious workman to your Ladyship.  Ros. 
What is he.  Fre. 
Not an English man I warrant you,  
One that can please the Ladies every way,  
You sha'not sit with him all day for shadows,  
He has regalias, and can present you with  
Suckets of fourteen pence a pound, Canary,  
Prunellas, Venice glasses, parmesan,  
Sugars, Bologuia, Sausages all from Antwerp;  
But he will make Ollepodredos most incomparably.  Ros. 
I have heard of him by a noble Lady  
Told me the other day, that sitting for  
Her picture, she was stifled with a strange  
Perfume of horns.  Fre. 
A Butcher told me of 'em, very likely.  Ros. 
When I have need  
Of this rare Artist I will trouble you  
For my directions, leaving this discourse,  
How thrives your Catalogue of debtors Signior.  Fre. 
All have paid me, but;  Ros. 
You sha'not name me in the list of any  
That are behind, beside my debt a purse  
For clearing the account.  Fre. 
You are just Madam,  
And bountiful, though I came hither with  
Simple intention to present my service  
It shall be crossed. gudgeon remember too,  
Her ladyship's name.  Sol. 
My x has the  
Same provision for you.  Enter Barker, and Lady Honoria. Gud. 
Sir, Master Barker.  Fre. 
Madam I'll take my leave, I'll find another  
Time to attend my Lady, there's no light,  
I cannot abide this fellow. Exit with Gud.  Hon. 
Madam, Master Barker hath some design  
Which he pretends concerns us both.  Ros. 
he's welcome, what is't?  Bar. 
My Lord commends him to ye.  Ros. 
Which Lord Sir?  Bar. 
The Lord, the fine, the wanton dancing Lord,  
The Lord that plays upon the Gittern, and sings,  
Leaps upon tables, and does pretty things,  
Would have himself commended.  Ros. 
So Sir.  Bar. 
He loves you both, he told me so,  
And laughs behind a vizard at your frailty,  
He cannot love that way you imagine,  
And Ladies of the game are now no miracles.  Hon. 
Although he use to rail thus, yet we have  
Some argument to suspect his Lordship's tongue  
Has been too liberal.  Ros. 
I find it too, and blush within to think  
How much we are deceived, I may be even  
With this May-Lord. Exit.  Hon. 
But does his Lordship think  
We were so taken with his person.  Bar. 
You would not, and you knew as much as I.  Hon. 
How Sir?  Bar. 
I ha' been acquainted with his body  
Ha known his baths and physic.  Hon. 
Is't possible, I am sorry now at heart.  
I had a good thought on him, he shall see't,  
For I will love some other in revenge,  
And presently if any gentleman  
Ha but the grace to smile, and court me up to't.  Ba. 
Hum?  Ho. 
A bubble of Nobility, a giddy  
Fantastic Lord, I want none of his titles,  
Now in my imaginations he appears  
Ill favoured, and not any part about him  
Worth half a commendation, would he were here.  Co. 
You'd make more on him.  Ho. 
That I might examine,  
And do my judgement right between you two now▪  
How much he would come short, you have an eye  
Worth forty of his, nose of another making;  
I saw your teeth e'en now compared to which,  
His are of the complexion of his comb,  
I mean his box, and will in time be yellower,  
And ask more making clean, you have a show  
Of something on your upper lip, a Witch  
Has a philosopher's beard to him, his chin  
Has just as many hounds as hairs that ever  
My eyes distinguished yet, you have a body  
And unpromising in his slashes, one  
May see through him, and for his legs they both  
Would but make stuffing for one handsome stocking,  
theyare a lord's I will be sworn, I dote upon him,  
I could wish somewhat, but I me sworry sir  
To trouble you so much, all happy thoughts  
Possess you. Exit  Ba. 
How is this, if I have wit  
To apprehend, this Lady does not hate me?  
I have professed a cynic openly,  
This language melts, I'll visit her again.  Enter Honoria. Ho. 
Sir, I have a small request to you.  Ba. 
Lady command.  Ho. 
If you think I have power  
Or will to deserve from you any courtesy,  
Pray learn to dance.  Ba. 
To dance?  Ho. 
At my entreaty sir to dance,  
It was the first thing took me with his Lordship,  
You know not what may follow, fare you well. Exit.  Ba. 
What pretends this to dance, there's something in't,  
I've revenged myself already upon my Lord,  
Yet deeper with my Lady is the sweeter,  
Something must be resolved. Exit.  Enter Lady Lucina and Scutilla. Luc. 
Enough enough of conscience, let's reserve  
Part of the mirth to another time, I shall  
Meet some other hot worships at the Ball;  
Unless their apprehension prompt 'em,  
Earlier to know their folly in pursuing me.  Enter Solomon. Sol. 
Madam, the Gentlemen that were here this morning  
In single visits are come all together,  
And pray to speak with you.  Luc. 
They've met already give 'em access.  Scu. 
I wonder what they'll say.  Enter Bostocke, Lamount, colonel, and Travers. Co. 
Be confident she shall endure it.  Bo. 
So so,  
How d'ee Gentlemen, you'rear'e very welcome.  Am. 
'tis no matter for that we do not come to be  
Welcome, neither will we be welcome, speak Mr. Bostocke.  Bo. 
We come to mortify you.  Luc. 
You will use no violence.  Bo. 
But of our tongues, and in the names of these  
Abused gentlemen, and myself I spit  
Defiance, stand further off, and be attentive,  
Weep or do worse, repentance wet thy linen,  
And leave no vein for the Doctor.  Luc. 
They're mad.  Scu. 
There is no danger Madam, let us hear 'em,  
If they scold we two shall be hard enough for 'em,  
And they were twenty.  Bo. 
Thou Basilisk.  Luc. 
At first sight?  Bo. 
Whose eyes shalt fire, and poison,  
Malicious as a Witch, and much more cunning,  
Thou that dost ride men.  Luc. 
I ride men?  Bo. 
Worse than the night Mare, let thy tongue be silent.  
And take our scourges patiently, thou hast  
In thy own self all the ingredients  
Of wickedness in thy sex, able to furnish  
Hell if it were insufficiently provided  
With falsehood, and she fiend of thy own making  
Circe that charmed men into swine, was not  
So much a Jew as thou art, thou hast made  
Us Asses, dost thou hear?  Am. 
He speaks for us all.  Bo. 
But it is better we be all made such,  
Than any one of us be monstered worse  
To be an Ox thy husband.  Scu. 
Luc. Ha ha ha.  Bo. 
Dost thou laugh Crocodile?  Co. 
That was well said.  Bo. 
Spirit of flesh and blood I'll conjure thee,  
And let the devil lay thee on thy back  
I care not.  Ma. 
Admirable Bostocke.  Co. 
That spirit of flesh and blood was well enforced.  Bo. 
You thought us animales insensible  
Of all your jugglings did you Proserpine?  Am. 
I come to that.  Bo. 
And that we loved, loved with a pox your phisnomy,  
Know we but tried thee Beldame, and thou art  
thyself a son o'th' earth.  Am. 
How, she a son?  Bo. 
'twas a mistake, but she knows my meaning,  
I begin to be a weary gentlemen,  
I'll breathe a while.  Co. 
'tis time, and that you may  
Not want encouragement take that.  Bo. 
Gentlemen colonel, what d'ee mean.  Co. 
You shall know presently, dare but lift thy voice  
To fright this Lady, or but ask thy pardon,  
My sword shall rip thy body for thy part,  
And nail it on her threshold, or if you,  
The proudest offer but in looks to justify  
The baseness of this wretch your souls shall answer't.  Ma. 
how's this?  Co. 
Oh impudence unheard, pardon Madam  
My tedious silence, the affront grew up  
So fast I durst not trust my understanding  
That any gentleman could attempt so much  
Dishonour to a Lady of your goodness;  
Was this your project to make me appear  
Guilty of that I hate beyond all sacrilege,  
Was it for this you prayed my company,  
You tadpoles? 'tis your presence charms my sword,  
Or they shall quickly pay their forfeit lives,  
No Altar could protect 'em.  Am. 
We are betrayed.  Ma. 
Was it not his plot to have us rail?  Co. 
Say, shall I yet be active?  Luc. 
By no means,  
This is no place for blood, nor shall any cause  
Engage to such a danger.  Co. 
Live to be  
Your own vexations then till you be mad,  
And then remove yourself with your own garters.  
You sha'not go before I know from whose  
Brain this proceeded, you are the mirth,  
Was ever civil Lady so abused  
In her own house by ingrateful horseleeches?  
Could your corrupted natures find no way  
But this to recompense her noble favours,  
Her courteous entertainments, would any  
Heathens done like to you? admit she was  
So just to say she could see nothing in you  
Worthy her dearer thoughts as to say truth,  
How could a creature of her wit and judgement  
Not see how poor and miserable things  
You are at best? must you impudent  
In such a loud, and peremptory manner,  
Disturb the quiet of her thoughts and dwelling  
Gentlemen rather hinds scarce fit to mix,  
Unless you mend her manners with her drudges.  Luc. 
This shows a nobleness, dost not Scutilla?  Bo. 
Why sir, did not you tell us?  Co. 
What did I tell you?  Bo. 
Nothing.  Co. 
Be gone, lest I forget myself.  Bo. 
I have a token to remember you  
A palsy upon your fingers noble colonel.  Ma. 
Was this his stratagem? we must be gone. Exit.  Luc. 
Sir I must thank ye, and desire your pardon,  
For what has passed to your particular.  Co. 
Ya've more than satisfied my service in  
Th'acknowledgement: disdain cannot provoke  
Me to be so insolent.  Luc. 
Again I thank you.  Co. 
I can forget your last neglect, if you  
Think me not too unworthy to expect  
Some favour from you.  Luc. 
How d'ee mean.  Co. 
Why as  
As a servant should that is ambitious?  
To call you Mistress, till the happier title  
Of wife crown his desires.  Luc. 
I must confess,  
This has won much upon me: but two words  
To such a bargain, y'are a gentleman,  
I'm confident would adventure for me.  Co. 
As far as a poor life could speak my service.  Luc. 
That's fair and far enough, I make not any  
Exception to your person.  Co. 
Body enough  
I hope to please a Lady  Luc. 
But.  Co. 
To my fortune.  Luc. 
To that the least, I have estate for both.  Co. 
Though if hold no comparison with your,  
It keeps me like a gentleman.  Luc. 
I have a scruple.  Co. 
You honour me in this,  
There's hope, if I can take a way that care,  
You may be mine.  Luc. 
Sir can you put me in security  
That you have been honest?  Co. 
Honest, how d'ee mean?  Luc. 
been honest of your body, you are gentlemen,  
Out of the wars live lazy, and feed high,  
Drink the rich grape, and in Canary may  
Do strange things, when the wine has washed away  
Discretion.  Co. 
What is your meaning Lady?  Luc. 
I do not urge you for the time to come.  
Pray understand, have you been honest hitherto  
And yet because you sha'not trouble friends  
To be compurgators, I'll be satisfied;  
If you will take your own oath that you are.  Co. 
Honest of my body?  Luc. 
Yes sir, it will become me to be careful  
Of my health, I'll take your own assurance,  
If you can clear your body by an oath,  
I'll marry none but you, before this gentlewoman.  Co. 
Your reason why you use me thus?  Luc. 
I wonder you will ask, do not I hear  
How desperate some ha' been, what pain, what physic.  Co. 
This is a tale of a tub Lady.  Luc. 
You rid no match without a shirt, to show  
The complexion of your body, I ha' done sir  
When you resolve to swear y'are honest, I  
Vow to he yours, your wife: I am not hasty,  
Think on't, and tell me when we meet again  
Anon, tonight, tomorrow, when you please;  
So farewell noble colonel, come Scutilla. Exeunt.  Co. 
Is't come to this? I am jeered again, is't possible  
To be honest at these years, a man of my  
Complexion, and acquaintance? was ever  
A gentleman put to this oath before a this fashion?  
If I ha' the grace now to forswear myself,  
Something may be done, and yet 'tis doubtful  
she'll have more tricks, if widows be thus coltish,  
The devil will have a task that goes a-wooing. Exit.   

Actus Quartus.  Enter Lord and Bostocke. Bo. 
Such an affront my Lord, I was ashamed on't,  
A mere conspiracy to betray our fames,  
But had you seen how poorly they behaved  
Themselves, such carven Knights, a pair of Drone-Bees  
Ith' midst o'my vexation, if I could  
Forbear to laugh, I ha' no blood in me,  
They were so far from striking that they stood  
Like Images, things without life and motion,  
Fear could not make so much as their tongue tremble,  
Left all to me.  Lo. 
So so, what then did you.  Bo. 
The Lady laughed too, and the colonel  
Increased his noise, to see how she derided  
The poor Knights.  Lo. 
Leave their Character and proceed  
To what you did.  Bo. 
You shall pardon me my Lord,  
I am not willing to report myself,  
They and the Lady, and the colonel  
Can witness I came on.  Lo. 
But how came you off x? that must commend you.  Bo, 
I ha my limbs my Lord, no sign of loss  
Of blood you see, but this was fortune, how  
The colonel came off 't's uncertain.  Lo. 
Do not you know?  Bo. 
No, I left him, I think 'tis time.  Lo. 
You did not kill him?  Bo. 
Upon my faith my Lord I meant it not,  
But wounds fall out some time when the swords in,  
These are poor things to brag on, I ha' saved my  
Self you see.  Lo. 
If it be so I'll call you x still, my satinist  Enter Barker. 
Hark you shall beat this fellow.  Bo. 
Shall I my Lord without cause?  Lo. 
He shall give you cause presently, how now  
Gummed taffeta.  Ba. 
I pay for what I wear  
My satin Lord? your Wardrobe does not keep  
Me warm, I do not run o'th' ticket with  
The mercer's wife, and lecher out my debts  
At country houses.  Lor. 
There's something else you do not.  Ba. 
I do not use to flatter such as you are,  
Whose bodies are so rotten, they'll scarce keep  
Their souls from breaking out, I write no odes  
Upon your Mistress to commend her postures,  
And tumbling in a coach towards Paddington,  
Whether you hurry her to see the Pheasants,  
And try what operation the eggs have  
At your return, I am not taken with  
Your mighty nonsense, gleaned from Heathenish plays,  
Which leave a curse upon the Author for 'em,  
Though I have studied to redeem you from  
The infection of such books, which martyr sense  
Worse than an Almanac.  Lo. 
Excellent Satire,  
But lash not on, stop here, or I shall kick  
Your learned worship.  Ba. 
But do not, I advise you do not.  Lo. 
Why do not?  Ba. 
It will fall heavy o'some body, if your Lordship  
Kick me, I shall not spare your x there.  Lo. 
On that condition what do you think of'at?  Ba. 
What do you think?  Bo. 
Excellently well followed by my troth la,  
he'll pitch the bar well, I warrant, he does  
So follow his kick.  Ba. 
Let it go round.  Bo. 
Good, right as my leg again.  Lo. 
Your leg, 'twas he that kicked you.  Bo. 
D'ee think I do not feel it?  Lo. 
Why d'ee not use your toes then?  Bo. 
What for a merry touch,  
A trick, a turn upon the toe, d'ee hear sir  
youare good company, but if thou lovest me.  Ba. 
Love you? why d'ee hear sir,  
ay, ay,  
What a pox should any man see in you,  
Once to think on you? love a squirt?  
Shall I tell thee what thou art good for?  Bo. 
I.  Ba. 
For nothing.  Bo. 
Good again, my Lord observe him, for nothing.  Ba. 
Yes thou wot stop a breach in a mud wall,  
Or serve for a Priapus in the garden to  
Fright away crows, and keep the corn, bean shatter,  
Thou wot.  Bo. 
Ha ha ha.  Ba. 
Or thou wot serve at shrove tide to ha' thy legs  
Broken with penny truncheons in the street,  
'tis pity any Cock should stand the pelting,  
And such a Capon unpreferred.  Bo. 
Ha ha ha.  Ba. 
Cry mercy y'are a kinsman to the Lord,  
A Gentleman of high and mighty blood.  Lo. 
But cold enough, won't all this provoke him?  Ba. 
Dost hear? for all this I will undertake  
To thrash a better man out of a wench.  
That travels with her butter milk to market  
Between two dorsers, any day o'th' week,  
My twice sod tail of green fish, I will do't  
Or lose, my inheritance, tell me, and do not stammer,  
When wert thou cudgelled last? what woman beat thee?  Bo. 
Excellent Barker.  Ba. 
Thou art the town top,  
A boy will set thee up, and make thee spin  
Home with an eel-skin, do not marry, do not,  
Thy wife will coddle thee, and serve thee up  
In plates with Sugar and Rose water to  
Him that had the grace to cuckold thee;  
And if Pythagoras' transmigration  
Of souls were true, thy spirit should be tenant  
To a horse.  Bo. 
Why to a horse?  Ba. 
A switch and spur would do some good upon you,  
Why dost thou interfere, get the grincomes, go,  
And straddle like a gentleman that would  
Not shame his kindred, but what do I  
Lose time with such a puppy?  Bo. 
Well, go thy ways I'll justify thy wit  
At my own peril.  Ba. 
I would speak with you,  
Be not too busy with your Lordship's legs,  
I'll tell you somewhat.  Lo. 
Speak toth' purpose then.  Ba. 
I bestowed  
A visit on the Ladies which you wot on,  
They have their wits still, and resolve to keep 'em,  
They won't hang themselves for a young Lord,  
Nor grow into consumption, other men  
Have eyes, and nose, and lips, and handsome legs too:  
So fare you well Lord, my I left your kick  
With your x buy buy otter. Exit.  Lo. 
Very well.  
But hark you x Bostocke, you have a mind  
And modest constitution, I expected  
You would have lifted up your leg.  Bo. 
To kick him,  
Why, and you would ha' given a thousand pound,  
I could not do't for laughing, beside,  
He was your friend my Lord.  Lo. 
Did you spare him  
For that consideration?  Bo. 
Howsoever,  
What honour had it been for me to quarrel?  
Or wit indeed, if every man should take  
All the abuses that are meant, great men  
Would be laughed at, some fools must ha' their jests,  
Had he been any man of blood or valour,  
One that professed the sword, such as the colonel,  
Less provocation would ha' made me active.  Enter Sr. Ambrose, and Sr. Marmaduke. Lo. 
The Eagles takes no Flies, is that it, how now  
Sir Ambrose, and my honoured friend Sr. Marmaduke?  
You are strangers.  Ma. 
Your Lordship's pardon, Mr. Bostocke.  Bo. 
Now shall I be put to't, this taking will undo me?  Lo. 
Prithee tell me? is the colonel alive still?  Am. 
Alive my Lord, yes yes, he's alive.  Bo. 
Did your Lordship think absolutely he was dead?  Lo. 
But he is shrewdly wounded.  Am. 
No my Lord,  
He is very well, but 'twas your kinsman's fortune.  Bo. 
Prithee ne'er speak on't.  Lo. 
What?  Ma. 
To have a blow, a box o'th' ear.  Lo. 
How?  Ma. 
With his fist, and an indifferent round one.  Bo. 
Yes, yes he did strike me, I could ha' told you that,  
But wherefore did he strike, ask 'em that.  Ma. 
If you would know my Lord, he was our orator  
To rail upon the Lady for abusing us,  
Which I confess he did with lung and spirit,  
Which in the conclusion, the colonel  
Stroke him toth' ground.  Bo. 
He did so 'tis a truth.  Lo. 
And did you take it?  Bo. 
Take it: he gave it me my Lord, I asked not for it.  
But 'tis not yet revenged.  Am. 
'tis truth we suffered  
A little, but the place protected him.  Bo. 
It was no place indeed.  Ma. 
Now since you had the greatest burden in  
The affront.  Bo. 
The blow?  Ma. 
Right, woe would know whether your resolution  
Be first, to question him, for our cause appears  
Subordinate, and may take breath till you  
Ha called him to account.  Bo. 
I proclaim nothing,  
And make no doubt the colonel will give me  
Satisfaction like a Gentleman.  Am. 
We are answered, and take our leave my Lord.  Lo. 
We shall meet at the Ball anon gentlemen.  Ma. 
Your Lordship's servants: now to our design. Exeunt.  Bo. 
My Lord I take my leave too.  Lo. 
Not yet x, you and I ha' not done.  Bo. 
What you please x.  Lo. 
You have cozened me too much.  Bo. 
I my good Lord?  Lo. 
Thou most unheard of coward,  
How dare you boast relation to me?  
Be so impudent as to name, or think upon me,  
Thou stain to honour, honour? thouart beneath  
All the degrees of baseness: quit thy father,  
Thy supposed one, and with sufficient testimony,  
Some Servingman leapt thy mother, or some juggler  
That conjures with old bones, some woman's tailor,  
When he brought home her petticoat, and took measure  
Of her loose body, or I'll cullis thee  
With a bottom.  Bo. 
Good my Lord.  Lo. 
Be so baffled?  
In presence of your Mistress, 'tis enough  
To make the blood of all thou knowest suspected,  
And I'll ha' satisfaction.  Bo. 
My Lord.  Lo. 
For using of my name in Ordinaries,  
Ith' list of other whom you make your privilege,  
To domineer, and win applause sometimes  
With Tapsters, and threadbare Tobacco Merchants,  
That worship your gold lace, and ignorance  
Stand bare, and bend their hams, when you belch out  
My Lord, and other x in a bawdy-house,  
Whom with a noise you curse by Jack and Tom,  
For failing you at fish-street, or the Still-yard.  Bo. 
My very good Lord.  Lo. 
Will you not draw?  Bo. 
Not against your honour, but you shall see.  Lo. 
And vex my eyes to look on such a Land-rat,  
Were all these shames forgotten, how shall I  
Be safe in honour with that noble Lady,  
To whom I sin fully commended thee,  
Though 'twere not much, enough to make her think  
I am as base as thou art, and the colonel,  
And all that have but heard thee call me x,  
What cure for this you malt-worm? oh my soul  
How it does blush to know thee, bragging puppy,  
D'ee hear me thunder, and lightning, what  
Nobility my predecessors boasted,  
Or any man from honour's stock descended;  
How many Marquesses and Earls are numbered  
In their great family? what coats they quarter,  
How many battles our forefathers fought?  
'tis poor, and not becoming perfect gentry  
To build their glories at their father's cost,  
But at their own expense of blood or virtue,  
To raise them living monuments, our birth  
Is not our own act, honour upon trust,  
Our ill deeds forfeit, and the wealthy sums  
Purchased by others' fame or sweat, will be  
Our stain, for we inherit nothing truly  
But what our actions make us worthy of;  
And are you not a precious gentleman,  
Thou art not worth my steel, redeem this love  
Some generous way of undertaking, or  
Thou shalt be given up to boys, and ballets,  
The scorn of footman, a disgrace more black  
Than bastard, go to the colonel.  Bo. 
I will my Lord.  Lo. 
But now I think on't 'twill be necessary,  
That first you right my honour with the Lady,  
You shall carry a letter, you will do't?  Bo. 
I'll carry any thing.  Lo. 
Expect it presently. Exit  Bo. 
Such another conjuring will make me  
Believe I am illegitimate indeed,  
This came first keeping company with the blades,  
From whom I learned to roar and run away:  
I know 'tis a base thing to be a coward,  
But every man is not borne to be a Hercules,  
Some must be beat that others may be valiant. Exit.  Enter Rosomond, and Honoria whispering, Sr. Marmaduke, and Sr. Ambrose following. Ro. 
Let it be so, they will else be troublesome.  Ma. 
This cannot I hope displease you Lady, 'tis  
No new affection I protest, although  
This be the first occasion I took  
To express it.  Ro. 
You did ill in the impression,  
Although your bashfulness would not permit you  
To speak in your own cause, you might have sent  
Your meaning, I can make a shift to read  
A scurvy hand, but I shall tell you sir.  Ma. 
Prithee do.  Ho. 
Is't possible your heart hath been tormented  
In love's flame, and I the cause.  Am. 
Your beauty hath the power  
To melt a Scythian's bosom, those divine  
Beams would make soft the earth, when rugged Winter  
Hath sealed the crannies up with frost, your eye  
Will make the frigid region temperate,  
Should you but smile upon't: account it then  
No wonder if it turn my breast to ashes.  Ro. 
I see you are in love by your mention,  
And cause I pity a gentleman should lose  
His passion I'll acquaint you with a secret.  Ma. 
The Lady Honoria?  Ro. 
What misfortune 'twas  
You did not first apply yourself to her  
That can reward your love, and hath a heart  
Spacious to entertain you; she does love you  
Upon my knowledge strangely, and so  
Commends you in your absence.  Ma. 
Say you so Lady?  
Pardon I beseech you the affection  
I professed to your Ladyship, 'twas but  
A compliment, I am sorry I protest.  Ro. 
Oh 'tis excused sir, but I must tell you,  
Perhaps you won't find her now so tractable  
Upon the apprehension she was slighted;  
But to prescribe you confidence were to  
Suspect your art, and bold discretion.  Ho. 
'tis as I tell you sir, no Lady in  
The world can speak more praises of your body?  
she knows not yet your mind.  Am. 
Is't possible?  Ho. 
And yet because she saw your compliments  
Directed so unhappily to me,  
I know not how you'll find her on the sudden,  
But 'tis not half an hour since you possessed  
The first place in her thoughts.  Am. 
Shall I presume,  
You will excuse the love I did present  
Your Ladyship? it was not from my heart,  
I hope you will conceive so.  Ho. 
A slight error.  Am. 
I am ashamed on't.  Ho. 
'tis sufficient  
That you recant no more neglect.  Ro. 
You are pleasant.  Am. 
Be you so too; I'll justify thou shalt  
Have cause.  Ro. 
To wonder at you, what's your meaning sir?  Am. 
Sweet Lady,  
What thoughts make sad your brow? I have observed  
Your eyes shoot clearer light.  Ro. 
You are deceived,  
I am not melancholy.  Am. 
Be for ever banished  
The imagination of what can happen  
To cloud so rare a beauty, y'are in love.  Ro. 
In love, who told you so?  Am. 
But that's no wonder,  
We all may love, but you have only power  
To conquer where you place affection, and triumph o'er your wishes.  Ho. 
I love you, y'are strangely sir mistaken,  
Put your devices on some other Lady,  
I ha' been so far from my affection to you,  
That I ha' laboured I confess to unsettle  
The opinion of my Lady Rosamond,  
Who I confess loves you, and that extremely.  Mar. 
How? she love me? than I ha' made fine work.  Ho. 
What cunning she is mistress of to hide  
Her strange affections, or what power she has,  
She does fly into your arms I know not.  Ro. 
Are you so dull?  
Why, this was but to try your constancy,  
I have heard her swear you are the properest Knight,  
The very Adonis: why, she has got your picture  
And made it the only saint within her closet,  
I blush at your credulity.  Am. 
Is't e'en so?  
I have undone myself with her already,  
Pardon me gentle Madam, I must leave you.  Ro. 
With all my heart.  Ho. 
We are relieved, Enter monsieur.  
monsieur Le Friske.  Moun. 
Tres humbla serviteur Madam,  
Me sweat with de haste to wait upon your Ladyships;  
I pray give me do leave dispatch presently,  
For I must figaries to be done.  Ro. 
Gentlemen let your passions breathe a while,  
A little music may correct the error,  
And you may find yourselves.  Moun. 
Aller.  Am. 
With all my heart Sr. Marmaduke let's help  
To exercise the Ladies.  Ma. 
A good motion.  Moun. 
And begar noting in de world mor profet  
Your body den de motion all a more de France.  Ma. 
I am for any frisk.  Moun. 
Ha de frisk you jump upon my name, and  
Begar you have my nature to de right, heigh, and  
All de world is but frisk.  Ho. 
A Country dance then.  Moun. 
Hah, monsieur Madam aller, They Dance.  
forboon, tres excellent begar, so I crave your patience  
Madam, gentlemen, you be at de Ball, mofoy you  
See dat was never in dis world.  Ro. 
What monsieur?  Moun. 
What do you think dat is, me tell you, begar  
You see me play de part of de Cupid.  Ho. 
A French Cupid.  Moun. 
Begar French Cupid, why? dear is no love like  
De French love, dat is Cupid, love is hot, and de  
French is hot  Ro. 
How comes it to pass that you are to play Cupid Moun.  Mo. 
My Lord give me command me have device, & de mask  
For de Ladies, and me no trust little jacknape to play  
Young Cupid but myself.  Ho. 
Cupid is a child, you have a beard monsieur.  Mo. 
Me care not de hair for dat, begar de little god may have  
De little beard, Venus his mother have de mole, and Cupid  
Her shield may have the black mussel.  Ho. 
But monsieur, we read Cupid was fair, and  
You are black, how will that agree?  Mo. 
Cupid is fair, and monsieur is black, why monsieur  
Is black den, and Cupid is fair, what is dat? a fair  
Lady love de servant of the black  
Complexion de ban eur, the colour is not de much,  
Vulcan was de black Smith, and Cupid may be de  
Black gentleman his son legitimate.  Am. 
'tis de way to make Cupid the boy no bastard.  Mo. 
But do you no publish this invention, me meet you  
At de Ball armed with quiver, and de bow.  Ho. 
You won't shoot us, I hope you'll spare our hearts.  Mo. 
Begar me shit you if me can, and your arts shall  
Bleed one, two, tree, gallows adieu madam  
Serviteur gentlemen tresemble.  Am. 
Adieu monsieur, now Madam with your favour,  
I must renew my suit.  Ho. 
Yad better buy a new one,  
Nay then we shall be troubled. Exit.  Am. 
You'll withdraw,  
I'll follow you.  Ma. 
Come, come I know you love me.  Ro. 
You may enlarge your folly my dear knight,  
But I have pardoned you for love already.  Ma. 
This sha'not serve your turn, I came hither  
Not to be jeered, and one of you shall love me. Exit.  Enter Bostocke, Lady Lucina and Scutilla. Luc. 
Oh impudence dares he return.  Scu. 
It seems so.  Bo. 
Most gracious Madam, my x your Lord Loveall  
Commends himself in black and white.  Luc. 
To me?  Bo. 
D'ee think 'tis from myself.  Scu. 
You might ha' doubt in black and blue.  Bo. 
Scutilla how does thy poor soul, thou  
Hast no husband nor children to commend me to.  Scu. 
The poor soul's well, I hope your body is  
Recovered, does not your left cheek burn still,  
We ha' so talked on you?  Luc. 
I am sorry any gentleman that has relation to me should  
Be so forgetful of your honour, & his own, but though he have  
Forfeited opinion, let me continue innocent in your thoughts?  
I have sent you a small jewel to expiate my offence for  
Commending him, I expect your Ladyship at the Ball,  
Where you shall make many happy to kiss your hand,  
And in their number the true admirer of your virtue,  
My Lord is honourable.  Bo. 
A slight jewel Madam. Loveall.  Luc. 
I am his servant.  Bo. 
Nay faith my Lord is right, I ha' not met  
The colonel since you know when.  Sc. 
You ha' more reason to remember.  Bo. 
I would be so bold to ask you a question.  Luc. 
In the mean time give me leave, we are none  
But friends, I know y'are valiant.  Bo. 
No, no, you do not know't, but I know myself.  Scu. 
That's more.  Luc. 
But will you answer me? why did not you strike him again?  Scu. 
That might ha' caused blood.  Bo. 
Y'are i'th' right.  Luc. 
You did not fear him.  Bo. 
But blood are not a like, terms were not even,  
If I had killed him there had been an end.  Luc. 
Of him.  Bo. 
Right Madam, but if he had wounded me,  
He might ha' killed, heaven knows how many.  Scu. 
Strange?  Bo. 
D''ee not conceive it? so many drops of mine,  
So many gentlemen, nay more, who knows  
Which of these might ha' been a Knight, a Lord.  Luc. 
Perhaps a Prince.  Bo. 
Princes came from the blood,  
And should I hazard such a severation  
Against a single life, 'tis not I fear  
To fight with him by these hills, but what wise gamester  
Will venture a hundred pound to a flawed six pence?  Scu. 
Madam, the colonel.  Bo. 
And he were ten coronels, I'll not endure his company,  
Sweet Lady, you and I'll retire.  Scu. 
And were less honourable.  Bo. 
He should not seek me then.  Sc. 
He should rather hardly find you, I'm your servant. exit  Enter colonel. Luc. 
I was wishing for you sir,  
Your judgement of these Diamonds.  Co. 
The stones are pretty.  Luc. 
They were a lord's, sent me for a token,  
You cannot choose but know him, the Lord Loveall.  Co. 
So, so, so, I am like to speed.  Luc. 
Is not he a pretty gentleman?  Co. 
And you are sure he's honest?  Luc. 
As Lords go now adays that are  
In fashion;  
But cry you mercy, you ha' put me in mind,  
I did propound a business to you sir.  Co. 
And I came prepared to answer you.  Luc. 
'tis very well, I'll call one to be a witness.  Co. 
That was not I remember in our Covenant,  
You sha'not need.  Luc. 
I'll fetch you a book to swore by▪  Co. 
Let it be Venus and Adonis then,  
Or Ovid's wanton elegies, Aristotle's  
Problems, Guy of Warwick, or Sr. Beavis,  
Or if there be a Play Book you Love better,  
I'll take my oath upon your Epilogue.  Luc. 
Y'are very merry, well, swear how you please.  Co. 
In good time,  
You do expect now I should swear I'm honest?  Luc. 
Yes sir, and 'tis no hard condition,  
If you reflect upon my promise.  Co. 
What?  Luc. 
To marry you, which act must make you Lord  
Of me and my estate, a round possession,  
Some men have gone to hell for a less matter.  Co. 
But I won't be damned for twenty thousand  
Such as you are, and every one a million,  
And I the authority of a Parliament  
To marry wi'ye all, I would not buy  
This flesh now I ha' sworn.  Luc. 
I think so colonel,  
Bless me? twenty thousand wives, 'two'd ne'er  
Come to my turn, and you'd not live to give  
The tithe benevolence.  Co. 
They would find Pages, fools, or Gentlemen-Vshers.  Luc. 
Then upon the matter,  
You being not willing sir to take your oath,  
I may be confident you are not honest.  Co. 
Why look upon me Lady, and consider  
With some discretion what part about me  
Does look so tame you should suspect me honest,  
How old d'ee think I am?  Luc. 
I guess at thirty.  Co. 
Some i'th' world doubted me not so much,  
At thirteen I was ever plump and forward,  
My dry Nurse swore at seven, I kissed like one  
Of five and twenty, setting that aside,  
What's my profession?  Luc. 
A Soldier  Co. 
So examine a whole army, and find one  
Soldier that hates a handsome woman, we cannot march  
Without our bag and baggages, and is it possible,  
When we come home where women's pride, and all  
Temptation to wantonness abounds  
We should lose our activity?  Lu. 
You soldiers are brave fellows.  Co. 
When we have our pay,  
We vow no chastity till we marry, Lady  
'tis out of fashion indeed with gentlemen  
To be honest, and of age together 'tis sufficient,  
We can provide to take our pleasures too,  
Without infection, a sound body is  
A treasure I can tell you, yet if that  
Would satisfy you, I should make no scruple  
To swear, but otherwise you must pardon us  
As we must pardon you.  Luc. 
Us sir.  Co. 
Yes you, as if you Ladies had not your vagaries,  
And martial discipline, as well as we,  
Your outworks, and redoubts, your court of guard,  
Your sentries, and perdues, sallies, retreats,  
Pasties, and stratagems, women are all honest,  
Yes, yes, exceeding honest; let me ask you  
One question, I'll not put you to your oath,  
I do allow you Hyde-park, and Spring-Garden,  
You have a recreation called the Ball,  
A device transported hither by some Ladies  
That affect tennis, what d'ee play a set?  
There's a foul racket kept under the line,  
Strange words are bandied, and strange revels Madam.  Luc. 
The world imagines so.  Co. 
Nay, y'are all talked of.  Luc. 
But if men had no more wit, and honesty,  
They would let fall their stings on something else,  
This is discoursed, but when Corantoes fail,  
Or news at ordinaries, when the phlegmatic Dutch  
Ha ta'en no Fisher-boats, or our coal-ships land  
Safe at Newcastle, y'are fine gentlemen,  
But to conclude of that we met for your honesty,  
Not justified by an oath, as I expected,  
Is now suspended, will you swear yet.  Co. 
Why, I thought you had been a Christian? widow  
Have I not told you enough, you may meet one  
Will forfeit his conscience, and please you better,  
Some Silkworm o'th' City, or the Court,  
There be enough will swear away their soul  
For your estate, but I have no such purpose,  
The wars will last I hope.  Luc. 
So so, Scutilla. Enter Scutilla.  
You were present when I promised the colonel,  
To be his wife upon condition.  
He could secure my opinion by his oath,  
That he was honest, I am bound in honour  
Not to go back, y ave done it, I am yours sir,  
Be you a witness to this solemn contract.  Co. 
Are you in earnest Lady, I ha' not sworn.  Luc. 
You have given better truth,  
He that can make this conscience of an oath  
Assures his honesty.  Co. 
In mind.  Luc. 
What's past  
I question not, if for the time to come  
Your love be virtuous to me.  Co. 
Most religious,  
Or let me live the soldier's dishonour,  
And die the scorn of gentlemen, I ha' not  
Space enough in my heart to entertain thee.  Luc. 
Is not this better than swearing?  Co. 
I confess it.  Luc. 
Now I may call you husband?  Co. 
No title can more honour me.  Luc. 
If please you I'll show you then my children.  Co. 
How, your children?  Luc. 
I ha' six that call me mother.  Co. 
Hast, faith?  Luc. 
The elder may want softness to acknowledge you,  
But some are young enough, and may be counselled  
To ask your blessing, does this trouble you?  Co. 
Trouble me? no, but it is the first news Lady  
Of any children.  Luc. 
Nay, they are not like  
To be a burden to us, they must trust  
To their own portions left 'em by their father.  Co. 
Where.  Luc. 
But of my estate, I cannot keep  
Any thing from 'em, and I know you are  
So honest, you'd not wish me wrong the Orphans,  
'tis but six thousand pound in money colonel  
Among them all, beside some trifling plate  
And jewels worth a thousand more.  Co. 
No more?  Luc. 
My jointure will be firm to us, two hundred  
Per annum.  Co. 
Is it so? and that will keep  
A Country house, some half a dozen Cows,  
We shall ha' cheese and buttermilk, one horse  
Will serve me, and your man to ride to markets.  Luc. 
Canst be content to live i'th' country colonel?  Co. 
And watch the Pease, look to the Hay, and talk  
Of Oats and Stubble, I ha' been brought up to't,  
And for a need can thrash.  Luc. 
That will save somewhat.  Co. 
Ith' year, beside my skill in farrowing pigs,  
Oh 'tis a wholesome thing to hold the plough,  
And wade up to the calf i'th' dirty furrows,  
Worse than sleeping in a trench, or quagmire,  
You ha' not heard me whistle yet.  Luc. 
No indeed.  Co. 
Why? there's it, she does counterfeit, well Lady,  
Be you in jest or earnest, this is my  
Resolution I'll marry you, and you'd forty children,  
And not a foot of land to your jointure, heaven  
Will provide for, and we do our endeavours,  
Where be the children, come how many boys.  Luc. 
As many as can get sir.  Co. 
How?  Luc. 
No more.  
Since y'are so noble, know I tried your patience,  
And now I am confirmed, my estate is yours  
Without the weight of children or of debts,  
Love me, and I repent not.  Co. 
sayst thou so?  
I would we had a Priest here.  Luc. 
There remains to take away one scruple.  Co. 
Another gimcrack.  Luc. 
I have none, 'tis your doubt sir,  
And ere we marry you shall be convinced  
Some malice has corrupted your opinion  
Of that we call the Ball.  Co. 
Your dancing business.  Luc. 
I will entreat your company tonight,  
Where your own eyes shall lead you to accuse  
Or vindicate our fames.  Co. 
With all my heart.  Scu. 
Madam, Mr. Bostocke  
Expects within.  Luc. 
You shall be reconciled to him.  Co. 
With Bostocke willingly, than tooth Ball,  
Which for your sake I dare not now suspect,  
Where union of hearts such Empire brings,  
Subjects methings are crowned as we as Kings. Exeunt.   

Actus Quintus.  Enter monsieur and servants with perfume. Moun. 
BOne for bone here a little, dear a little more, my  
Lord hire dis house of the city merchant, begar  
It smell musty, and he will have all sweet for de  
Ladies, perfume, perfume every corner presently  
For dear is purpose to make all smoke anon  
Begar; Enter Lady Rosomond and Honoria.  tres-humble serviteur Madam. Ho. 
Where is my Lord?  Moun. 
He wait on you presently monsieur de Freshwater.  Fr. 
monsieur Le Friske these Ladies were pleased  
To command my attendance hither.  Moun. 
Welcome to de Ball, par ma foy  
You pardon monsieur, I have much trouble  
In my little head, I can no stay to  
Compliment, a vostre service. Exit.  Fre. 
In all my travels, I have not seen a more  
Convenient Structure.  Ro. 
Now you talk of your travels Signior, till my Lord  
Come you shall do us a special favour to  
Discourse what passages you ha' seen abroad.  Ho. 
Were you ever abroad before Signior.  Fre. 
I hardly ever was at home, and yet  
All countries lost wiseman are his own?  
Did you never travel Ladies,  Ro. 
We are no Ladies errant, 'tis enough  
For such as you, that look for State employment.  Fre. 
Yet there be Ladies ha' your languages,  
And married to great men prove the better Statesmen.  Ro. 
We have heard talk of many countries.  Fre. 
And you may hear talk, but give me the man  
That has measured 'em, talks but talk.  Ho. 
Have you seen a fairer City than London?  Fre. 
London is nothing.  Ro. 
How nothing?  Fre. 
To what it will be a hundred years hence.  Ro. 
I have heard much talk of Paris.  Ho. 
You have been there I me sure. Enter Lord.  Fre. 
I tell you madam, I took shipping at  
Gravesend, and had no sooner passed  
The Cantons, and Grissons, making some stay  
In the Valtoline, but I came to Paris a pretty  
Hamlet, and much in the situation like Dunstable,  
'tis in the Province of Alcontora, some three leagues  
Distant from Civil, from whence we have our oranges.  Lo. 
Is the fellow mad?  Ro. 
I have heard Civil is in Spain.  Fre. 
You may hear many things,  
The people are civil that live in Spain, or there  
May be one town like another, but if Civil  
Be not in France, I was never at Civil in my life.  Ho. 
Proceed Sir.  Fre. 
Do not I know Paris, it was built by the youngest Son  
Of King Priam, and was called by his name, yet some  
Call it Lutetia, because the gentlewomen there  
Play so well upon the Lute.  Lo. 
What a Rascal is this?  Fr. 
Here I observed many remarkable buildings, as the  
University, which some call the Loure, where the  
Students made very much of me, and carried me  
To the Bear-garden, where I saw a play on the  
Bankside, a very pretty Comedy called Martheme,  
In London.  Ro. 
Is't possible?  Fre. 
But there be no such Comedians as we have here,  
Yet the women are the best Actors, they play  
Their own parts, a thing much desired in England  
By some Ladies, inns a Court Gentlemen, and others,  
But that by the way.  Ho. 
See Sir.  Fre. 
I had stayed longer there, but I was offended with a  
Villainous scent of Onions, which the wind brought from  
St. Omers.  Ro. 
Onions would make you sleep well.  Fre. 
But the scent 'tis not to be endured, I smelled  
On 'em when I came to Rome, and hardly scaped the  
Inquisition for't.  Ho. 
Were you at Rome too Signior.  Fre. 
'tis in my way to Venice, I'll tell you Madam I was very  
Loath to leave their country.  Ro. 
Which Country?  Fre. 
Where was I last?  Ho. 
In France.  Fre. 
Right, for I had a very good Inn, where mine Host  
Was a notable good fellow, and a Cardinal.  Ro. 
How a Cardinal, oh impudence.  Fr. 
Oh the catches we sang, and his wife a pretty woman,  
And one that warms a bed one o'th' best in Europe.  Ho. 
Did you ever hear the like.  Ro. 
I did before suspect him.  Fr. 
But mine Host.  Ho. 
The Cardinal.  Fr. 
Right, had a shrewd pate, and his ears were something  
O'th' longest, for one upon the oath of a w—  
Walloon that— from Spain to the Low-  
Countries, and the other from Lapland into Germany.  Ro. 
Say you so?  Fr. 
A perilous head, and yet loving to his guests,  
As mine host Banks, as red in the gills, and as merry  
A— but anger him, and he sets all Christendom  
Together by the ears, well shortly after I left  
France, and sailing along the Alps, I came to  
Lombardy, where I left my cloak, for it was very  
Hot travelling, and went a Pilgrim to Rome  
Where I saw the Tombs, and a Play in Pompey's  
Theater, here I was kindly entertained by an anchorite,  
In whose chamber I lay, and drink Cider.  Lo. 
Nay, now he is desperate.  Ho. 
Do not interrupt him.  Fre. 
What should I trouble you with many stories? from hence  
I went to Naples, a soft kind of people, and clothed  
In silk, from thence I went to Florence from whence we  
Have the art of working custards, which we call  
Florentines, Milan a rich state of  
Haberdashers, Permount, where I had excellent Venison,  
And Padua, famous for the pads, or easy saddles  
Which our physicians ride upon, and first brought from  
Thence when they commenced Doctor.  Ro. 
Very good.  Fr. 
I see little in Mantua, beside dancing upon the ropes,  
Only their strong beer, better than any I  
Ever drunk at the Trumpet, but Venice of all  
The Champion Countries, do not mistake they are the  
Valiantest gentlemen under the Sun.  Ro. 
Is that it?  Fr. 
O the Catazaners we turned there.  Ho. 
Who was we ye?  Fr. 
Two or three magnifico's grandees of the State,  
We tickled 'em in the very Pialto, by the same  
Token two or three English spies told us they had lain  
Leger three months to steal away the Piatzo, and ship  
It for Covent. Garden, a pretty fabric and building  
Upon the— but I was compelled to make  
Short stay here by reason of the Duke's Concubines  
Fell in love we me, gave me a ring of his, out of  
A solid Diamond, which afterwards I lost washing my  
Hands in the salt water.  Ho. 
You should ha' fished for't, and as good luck as  
She that found her wedding ring in the  
haddock's belly.  Fr. 
No, there was no staying, I took post-horse presently  
For Genoa, and from thence to Madrill, and so to  
The Netherlands.  Ro. 
And how sped you among the Dutch?  Fr. 
Why, we were drunk every day together, they get their  
Living by it.  Ho. 
By drinking?  Fr. 
And making bargains in their tippling,  
The Jews are innocent, nay the devil himself  
Is but a Dunce to 'em, of whose trade they are.  Ho. 
What's that?  Fr. 
They fish, they fish still, who can help it, they  
Have nets enough, and may catch the Province  
In time then let the Kingdoms look about 'em,  
They can't be idle, and they have one advantage  
Of all the world, they'll ha' no conscience to trouble  
'Em, I heard in whispered they want butter, they have  
A Design to charm the Indies, and remove their  
Darie, but that as a secret, shall go no further;  
I caught a surfeit of Boar in Holland, upon my  
Recovery I went to Flushing, where I met with a handsome  
Froe, with whom I went to Middleborough, by the—  
And lest her drunk at Rotterdam, there I took  
Shipping again for France, from thence to Dover,  
From Dover to Gravesend, from Gravesend to Queen-  
Hive, and from thence to what I am come to.  Lo. 
And noble Signior you are very welcome.  Fr. 
I hope he did not overhear me.  Lo. 
I am much honoured Ladies in your presence.  Fr. 
Absence had been a sin my Lord where you  
Were pleased to invite. Enter monsieur.  Moun. 
Fie, fie, my Lord give me one ear.  He whispers with my Lord. Lo. 
Interrupt me no more good monsieur.  Fr. 
monsieur La Friske, a word, a word, I beseech you,  
No excuser moy. Exit Fresh. and Moun.  Lo. 
Have you thought Ladies of your absent servant?  
Within whose heart the civil war of love,  Ro. 
May end in a soft peace.  Lo. 
Excellent, Lady.  Ho. 
We had armies too my Lord, of wounded thoughts.  Lo. 
And are you agreed to which I must devote  
My loving service, and which is wisest, fairest,  
Is it concluded yet?  Ho. 
You did propound  
A hard Province, and we could not  
Determine as you expected, but if  
Your flame be not extinct, we have devised  
Another way.  Lo. 
You make my ambition happy,  
And indeed I was thinking 'twas impossible  
That two such beauties should give place to either,  
And I am still that humble notary  
To both your loves.  Ro. 
Then this we have made lots,  
That what we cannot, fate may soon divide,  
And we are fixed to obey our destiny,  
There is but two, one and your wishes guide you.  Lo. 
And will you satisfy my chance.  Ho. 
We should  
Be else unjust.  Lo. 
What method shall we use?  Ro. 
Your hat my Lord,  
If you vouchsafe the favour?  Ho. 
Dare you expose your head to the air so long?  Lo. 
Most willingly put in.  Ro. 
There is Fortune▪  Ho. 
That draw which quickly tell how much I love you.  Lo. 
So, so now let me see, I commend your device,  
Since I am uncapable of both,  
This is a way indeed, but your favour.  Ro. 
let's have fair play my Lord.  Lo. 
What fool is he?  
That having the choice of Mistresses will be  
Confined to one, and rob himself, I am yet  
The favourite of both these, is no policy,  
I could make shift with both a-bed.  Ro. 
You are merry?  Lo. 
In troth, and so I am, and in the mind  
I am in, will give myself no cause toth' contrary,  
D'ee see? I'll draw you both.  Ho. 
How? both.  
You cannot otherwise be reconciled,  
I'll be content to marry one, and do  
Service to th' other's petticoat, I must tell you,  
I am not without precedent.  Ho. 
There you triumph.  Lo. 
Within the name of Venus,— ha a blank,  
By this light nothing, neither name nor mark.  Both. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Lo. 
This is a riddle yet.  Ro. 
'tis quickly solved,  
Your Lordship was too confident,  
We never were at such a loss my Lord,  
As with the hazard of our wit or honour  
To court you with so desperate affection.  Ho. 
By our example know, some Ladies may  
Commend, nay love a gentleman, and yet  
Be safe in their own thoughts, and see as far  
As modesty, and honour will allow us,  
We are still servants to your Lordship,  Lo. 
Say so? why look you Ladies that you may perceive,  
How I can be temperate too; first, I thank you  
Heartily, and to recompense your wit;  
Present another Lottery, you sha'not  
Suspect I have a thought that will betray  
Your innocence to scandal, let me entreat  
You take your chance too, this for you Madam,  
And this is left your fortune, do me honour  
To wear these pair of jewels for my sake,  
So with a confidence of your happy pardon,  
To what is passed hereafter I shall pay  
To your true virtues, better service than  
So unnecessary trials.  Ro. 
And to show  
We are not coy my Lord, we'll wear your jewel.  Lo. 
And be their ornament.  Enter Rainbow, colonel, Bostoke. Co. 
All happiness to your Lordship,  
Your cruells are not full set noble Ladies.  Lo. 
Your presence will so x make us active, Madam  
I was bold.  Bo. 
She has your Diamond my Lord.  Lo. 
And can you pardon?  Ro. 
Nay, nay, we are friends, are  
We not Madam?  Luc. 
I were else unmerciful.  Bo. 
The colonel too has given me satisfaction.  Co. 
I think you had enough.  Bo. 
As much as I desired, and here's my hand,  
While I can draw a sword command me.  Co. 
What?  Bo. 
To put it up again, all friends, all friends,  
A pox a quarrelling.  Co. 
I kiss your hand sir.  Bo. 
Kiss my hand, kiss my— noble Ladies here.  Co. 
Why is Music silent all this while?  
Has it no voice to bid these Ladies welcome?  A golden Ball descends, Enter Venus and Cupid. Ve. 
Come Boy now draw thy powerful Bow,  
Here are ladies' hearts enough  
To be transfixed, this meeting is  
To ruffle Ladies, and to kiss,  
These are my Orgies, from each eye,  
A thousand wanton glances fly;  
Lords, and Ladies of the Game,  
Each breast be full of my own flame:  
Why shoots not Cupid? these are all,  
Met in honour of my Ball,  
Which Paris gave to Ida hill,  
I'll maintain these revels still:  
Why stays Cupid all this while.  Dia. 
Venus doth herself beguile.  Ven. 
Diana here go back again.  Dia. 
These are none of Venus' train,  
No spark of this Lascivious fire,  
Dwells in their bosoms, no desire,  
But what doth fill Diana's breast,  
In their modest thoughts do rest.  
Venus this new festival,  
Shall be still Diana's Ball:  
A chaste meeting ever here,  
Seek thy votaries other where.  Ven. 
You're chaste indeed, do not we know,  
You to your sweetheart nightly go,  
Envying one is not kissed, no you  
On his face but let fall due;  
Some may wonder what doth ail,  
Your lips but kisses made them pale  
methinks the Moon should blush,  Dia. 
I do  
Some times, but 'tis for such as you:  
Then hide myself within a mist,  
For shame to see thee clipped and kissed.  Ven. 
Draw Cupid, shall thy mother be  
Brand by a Huntress, let me see  
I want one shaft.  Cu. 
Mother not so,  
You may quickly break my bow,  
Here Diana doth command,  
My Bow is frozen to my hand,  
Beside, the lady's breasts are here,  
Such proofs against my shafts I fear,  
Each arrow would to our disgrace,  
Break, or rebound in my own face;  
Mother, fly hence or you will be,  
If you'll stay, made as chaste as she.  Ve. 
Can her Magic charm them so,  
Then 'tis time that Venus go  
To seek her own more choice delight,  
Against my will, enjoy this night.  Dia. 
Cupid if you mean to stay,  
Throw your licentious shafts away,  
Than you are Love, then be embraced,  
Love is welcome while he's chaste;  
Now some other strain to show,  
What pleasures to this night we owe. A Dance.  Enter Barker, like a Satire Dancing. Fre. 
My Lord, my Ladies, will you see a Monster,  
I have not met such another in all my travails.  Luc. 
What have we here a Satire.  Bo. 
No, 'tis a dancing Bear.  Lo. 
What is the deviso.  Bar. 
Wonder that a Satire can  
Put off wildness and turn man,  
Love, such miracles can do,  
But this owes itself to you  
Bright Lady.  Ro. 
Keep the goblin from me Gentlemen.  Ba. 
You'll know me. Omnes, Barker.  Ba. 
No more, the Cynic, I protest  
You have converted me.  Ro. 
Your meaning Sir.  Ba. 
I am the man you did encourage Madam  
To learn to dance, I shall do better shortly,  
Your love will perfect me, and make me soft,  
And smooth as any Reveller.  Ro. 
Ha, ha, ha, my Love, I am not mad to love a Satire,  
For that's thy best condition, judgement all,  
How scurvily this civility shows in him.  
Faith rail, and keep your humour, still it shows excellent,  
Does he not become the beast,  
The Lords allow you pension.  Omnes, 
Ha, ha, ha.  Ba. 
You are a Witch, I'll justify it, and there is not  
One honest thought among the whole Sex of you,  
D'ee laugh, lose witted Ladies, there are not  
In hell such furies, that's a comfort yet  
To him that shall go thither, he shall have  
Less torment after death than he finds here.  Lo. 
Why Barker?  Ba. 
Your wit has got the squirt too, I'll traduce  
Your Ball for this, and if there be a post,  
That dares write mischief, look to be worse  
Than executed. Exit.  Lo. 
He will come to himself again, when he hath purged  
Freshwater.  Enter Sir Stephen, and Sir Lionell. Ste. 
Madam your servants beg this favour from you.  Ro. 
What is't?  Ste. 
That since your resolutions will admit  
No change of hearts you will not publish how  
We ha' been jeered.  Ro. 
Not jeered, but you came on so desperate.  Ho. 
We love our own when we preserve,  
gentlemen's honour.  Co. 
Then let's toss the Ball.  Lo. 
Signior Freshwater,  Fr. 
Mercy and silence as you are honourable.  Lo. 
May it concern these gentlemen.  Fr. 
Why if I must gentlemen, you imagine I ha' been  
At Venice, but I stayed at Gravesend  
All this Summer expecting a wind, and finding it  
So uncertain, will defer the voyage till the Spring,  
I am not the first whom the winds, and seas have crossed.  Ste. 
Then you have crossed no Sea?  Fr. 
If you please, I'll require  
But my principal, and for your good company,  
I'll stay at home for good, and all to be merry.  Lo. 
Nay, nay, you shall go your voyage,  
We would not have you lose the benefit  
Of travel, when you come home, you may summon  
Your debtors by a drum, and showing your bag  
Of certificates.  Bo. 
Receive your money when you can get it, and be  
Knighted.  Fr. 
I thank you gentlemen, I am in a way now,  
I have sold my land, and put out my money  
To live I see my heart won't dance tonight,  
I may to Gravesend in the morning,  
I can be but pickled in salt water, and I'll  
Venture one drowning to be revenged  
Again, again, set, set.  A Dance. Luc. 
What think you of all this?  Co. 
To my wishes, an innocent, and generous recreation.  Lo. 
Ladies and Gentlemen, now a banquet waits you,  
Be pleased to accept, 'twill give you breath and then,  
Renew our Revels, and toth' Ball again.  Exeunt Omnes.  
FINIS.