THE King and a poor Northern man.  
Showing how a poor Northumberl●●● man, a Tenant to the King, being wronged b● 〈◊〉 Lawyer, (his Neighbour) went to the King himself to make known his grievances; full of simple mirth and merry plain jests.  
Printed at London, by T. Cotes, for Francis Grove, dwelling near 〈…〉 Saracens head, upon Snow hill, 1633.   

THE King and a poor Northern man.  
COme hearken to me all around,  
and I will tell you a merry tale:  
Of a Northumberland man, that held some ground,  
which was the King's land in a dale;  
He was borne and bred thereupon,  
and his Father had dwelled there long before:  
Who kept a good house in that Country,  
and staved the Wolf from off his door.  
Now for this Farm the good old man,  
just twenty shillings, a year did pay.  
At length came cruel death with his dart,  
and this old Farmer he soon did slay:  
Who left behind him an aude wife then,  
that troubled was with micle pain;  
And with her Crutches she walked about,  
for she was likewise blind and lame.  
When that his Corpses were laid in the grave,  
his eldest son possess did the Farm,  
At the same rent as his Father before,  
he took great pains and thought no harm.  
By him there dwelled a Lawyer false,  
that with his Farm was not content,  
But over the poor man's still hangs his nose,  
because he did gather the King's rent.  
This Farm laid by the Lawyer's Land,  
which this vile kern had a mind unto,  
The déele a good conscience, had he in his bulk,  
that sought this poor man for to undo:  
He told him that he his Lease had forfite,  
and that he must there no longer abide.  
The King by such lownes hath much wrong done,  
and for you the world is broad and wide.  
The poor man prayed him for to cease,  
and content himself, if he would be willing,  
And pick no vantage in my Lease,  
and I shall give thee forty shilling.  
It's neither forty shillings nor forty pound,  
Ise warrant thee so, can agree thee and me,  
Unless thou yield me thy Farm so round,  
and stand unto my courtesy.  
The poor man said he might not do sa,  
his wife and his Barns will make ill work:  
If thou wilt with my Farm let me ga,  
thou séeme's a good fellow, Ise give the 5. Marks▪  
The Lawyer would not be so content,  
but further i'th' matter he means to smell:  
The neighbours bade the poor man provide his rent,  
and make a submission to the King him sell.  
This poor man now was in a great stoned,  
his senses they were almost wood:  
I think if a had not taken grace in's mind,  
that he would never again been good:  
His head was troubled in such a bad plight,  
as though his eyes were apple grey:  
And if good learning he had not taken,  
he would a cast himself away.  
A doughty heart he then did take,  
and of his mother did blessing crave,  
Taking farewell of his Wife and Barns,  
it earned his heart them thus to leave;  
Thus parting with the tears in his eyen,  
his bob-taild dog he out did call:  
Thou salt gang with me to the King,  
and so he took his leave of them all.  
He had a humble Staff on his back,  
a jerkin I wat that was of grey,  
With a good blue Bonnet he thought it no lack.  
to the King he is ganging as fast as he may.  
He had not gone a mile out o'th' Toone,  
but one of his neighbours he did espy:  
How fare is't toth' King, for thither I'm boon,  
as fast as ever I can hie,  
I am sorry for you, neighbour, he said,  
for your simplicity I make move,  
Ise warrant you, you may ask to the King,  
when nine or ten day's journeys you have gone.  
Had I witted the King word so fare,  
Ise near a sought him a mile out ot'th Toone,  
Hes either a sought me or weed near a come nare  
at home I had rather spent a crown.  
Thus passed he along many a weary mile,  
in rain and wet, and in foul mire;  
That ere he came to lig in his bed,  
his dog and he full ill did tyre;  
Hard they did far their charges to save,  
but alas, hungry stomaches outcries for meat,  
And many a sup of cold water they drank,  
when in the lang way they had nought to eat,  
Full lile we knew his hard grief of mind,  
and how he did long London to ken:  
But yet he thought he should find it at last,  
because he met so many a men;  
At length the top of Kirkes' he spied,  
and houses so thick that he was aghast;  
I think quoth he their land is full dear,  
for there's nought that here lies waste.  
But when he came intoth' City of London,  
of every man for the King he did call,  
They told him, that he need not fear,  
for the King he lies now at Whitehall:  
For Whitehall than he made inquire,  
but as he passed strange gear he saw,  
The bulks with such guegawes were dressed  
that his mind atone side it did draw:  
Gud God unto himself he did say,  
what a déele a place am I cumne unto,  
Had a man I think a thousne pound in's purse,  
him self a might quickly here undo.  
At night than a lodging him a got,  
and for his supper he then did pay;  
He told the host then heed go lig in his bed:  
who strait took a condle and showed him the way,  
Then with spying of Farlies in the City,  
because he had never been there before,  
He lée so long a bed the next day,  
the Court was removed to Windsor that morn●…  
You ha' lain too long in bed than said his host,  
you ha' lain too long by a great while.  
The King is now to Windsor gone,  
he's further to seek by twenty mile.  
I think I was cursed, then said the poor man,  
if I had been wise I might ha' consider,  
Belike the King of me has gotten some wéet,  
he had ne'er gone away had I not come hither,  
He fled not for you, said the host,  
but hie you to Windsor as fast as you may,  
Be sure it will requite your cost,  
for look what's past the King will pay.  
But when he came at Windsor Castle,  
with his humble staff upon his back,  
Although the gates wide open stood,  
he laid on them till he made 'em crack.  
 Poor man with his staff and his dog meets porter at Windsor Castle gate  
Why stay pray friend, art mad, quoth the Porter,  
what makes thee keep this stir to day?  
Why I am a tenant of the Kings,  
and have a message to him to say.  
The King has men enough, said the Porter,  
your message well that they can say,  
Why there's ne'er a Knave the King doth keep,  
shall ken my secret mind to day.  
〈◊〉 were told ere I came from home,  
●…ere I came hither it would be dear bought,  
●et me in, Ise give a good single penny,  
I see thou wilt ha' small, ere thou'lt do for nought.  
Gramercy said the Porter then,  
thy reward's so great, I cannot say nay,  
●onders a Noble man within the Court,  
I'll first hear what he will say.  
When the porter came to the Noble man,  
he said he would show him a pretty sport,  
There's sick a Clown come to the gate,  
as came not this seven years to the Court,  
He calls all Knaves the King doth keep,  
he raps at gate and makes great din,  
He's passing liberal of reward,  
heed give a good single penny to be let in.  
Let him in then said the Noble man:  
come in fellow the Porter 'gan say,  
If thou come within thyself, he said,  
thy staff behind the gate must stay,  
And this Cuckold's cur must lig behind,  
what a déele what a cur hast got with thee?  
The King will take him up for his own sell,  
Ise warrant when as he him doth see.  
Be shrew thy limbs, than said the poor man.  
then maest thou count me fool, or worse;  
I what not what bankrupt lies by the King,  
for want of money he may pick my purse.  
That's to be feared then the Porter said,  
Ise wish you to go in well armed,  
For the King he hath got much company,  
and among them all you may soon be harmed.  
Let him in with his staff and his dog, said the Lord  
with that he gave a nod with's head, & a beck with knee  
If you be sir King then said the poor man,  
as I can very well think ye be:  
For I was told ere I came from home,  
you're the goodliest man ere I saw before.  
With so many jingle jangles about one's neck,  
as is about yours I never saw none.  
I am not the King, then said the Nobleman,  
Fellow, although I have a proud coat:  
If you be not the King, help me to the speech of him  
you seem a good fellow, Ise give you a groat.  
Gramercy, said the Nobleman,  
the rewards so great I cannot say nay,  
I'll go know the King's pleasure if I can,  
till I come again be sure thou stay.  
here's sick a staying, then said the poor man,  
be like the King's better than any in our country:  
I might ha' gave toth' farthest nuke i'th' house,  
neither Lad nor loon to trouble me.  
When the Nobleman came to the King,  
he said he should show his Grace good sport,  
Here's such a clown come to the Gate,  
as came not this seven year's toth' Court.  
He calls all Knaves your Highness keeps,  
and more than that, he terms them worse:  
Héel not come in without his Staff, and his dog,  
for fear some Bankrupt will pick his purse.  
Let him in with his staff, and his dog, said our King,  
that of his sport we may see some:  
we'll see how he'll handle every thing,  
as soon as the match of Bowles is done.  
The Nobleman led him through many a room,  
and through many a Gallery gay.  
What a déele doth the King with so many tomb houses,  
that he gets 'em not filled with Corn and Hay?  
What gars these babbles and babies all?  
some ill have they done, that they hang by the walls▪  
And staring aloft at the golden roof top,  
at a step he did stumble and down he falls;  
Stand up good fellow, the Nobleman said,  
what art thou drunk or blind I trow?  
Ise neither am blind nor drunk, he said,  
although in my Saul you ought are so,  
It is a disease, said the Lord again,  
that many a good man is troubled withal,  
Quoth the Country man them, yet I made your proud stones  
to kiss my backside, though they 'gan me a fall.  
At last they spied the King in an Ally,  
yet from his game he did not start:  
The day was so hot that he cast off his Doublet,  
he had nothing from the waist up but his shirt.  
 Poor man carrying his staff, accompanied by his dog and a courtier, doffs his hat to the King, who had been playing a game of bowls (bowling)  
Lo yonder's the King, said the Noble man,  
behold Fellow, lo, where he goes:  
Beléevet he's some unthrift, says the poor man,  
that has lost his money, and pawned his .  
How happed he hath got ne'er a coat to his back?  
this bowling I like not, it hath him undone:  
Ise warrant that fellow that's in those gay   
he hath his coin and his doublet won.  
But when he came before the King,  
the Nobleman did his courtesy,  
The poor man followed after him,  
& gave a nod with his head, & a beck with his kn●…  
If you be sir King, then said the poor man,  
as I can hardly think ye be,  
Here is a good fellow that brought me hither,  
is liker to be King than ye.  
I am the King, his Grace now said,  
Fellow let me thy cause understand:  
If you be sir King I me a tenant ' of yours,  
that was born & up brought within your land.  
There dwells a Lawyer hard by me,  
and fault in my lease he says he hath found,  
And all was for felling of five poor Ashes,  
to build a house upon my own ground.  
Hast thou a lease here, said the King,  
or canst thou show to me the deed,  
He put it into the Kings own hand,  
and said, Sir 'tis here, if that you can read▪  
Why what if I cannot said our King,  
that which I cannot another man may,  
I have a boy of mine own not seven years old  
a will read you as swift, as you'd ●unith highway  
Let's see thy lease then said our King:  
then from his black box he pulled it out,  
He gave it into the King own hand,  
with four or five knots tied fast in a clout,  
Wéest near unloose these knot, said the King,  
he gave it to one that behind him did stay:  
It is proud horse, than said the poor man,  
will not carries own provender along the highway  
Pay me forty shilling as Ise pay you,  
I will not think much to unloose a knot,  
 Man in right foreground wielding an ax, having begun to chop down a tree; dog curled up near the tree; figure dressed in black in the distance (the lawyer?)  
I would I were so occupied every day,  
I'd unloose a score an 'em for a groat,  
When the King had gotten these letters read,  
and found the truth was very so:  
I warrant thee thou hast not forfeit thy lease,  
if that thou hadst field five ashes more.  
I, every one can warrant me,  
but all your warrants are not worth a flee,  
For he that troubles me, and will not let me go,  
neither cares for warrant of you nor me.  
The Lawyer he is sick a crafty else,  
a will make a fool of twenty such as we,  
And if that I said gang hang my sell,  
Ise trow he and I sud near agree,  
For he's too wise for all our Town,  
and yet we ha' got crauty knaves beside:  
He'll undo me and my wife, and Barns  
alas that ever I saw this tide.  
Thou'st have an Injunction, said our King,  
from troubling of thee he will cease:  
he'll either show thee a good cause why,  
or else he'll let thee live in peace.  
What's that Injunction says the poor man,  
good sir to me, I pray you say.  
Why it is a letter I'll cause to be written,  
but art thou simple, as thou she well for to day.  
Why if't be a letter I'm near the better,  
kéeped to yourself and trouble not me:  
I could ha' had a letter cheaper written at home,  
and near a come out of mine own Country,  
Thou'st have an Attachment, said our King,  
charge all thou seest to take thy part,  
Till he pay thee an hundred pound,  
be sure thou never let him start.  
A way is me, the poor man said then,  
you ken no whit what you now do say,  
A won undo me a thousand times;  
care he such a uncle of money will pay:  
And more than this, there's no man at all,  
that dare anougst him for to lift a hand,  
For he has got so much guile in his budget,  
that he will make them all forfeit their Land.  
If any seem against thee to stand,  
be sure thou come hither strait way,  
I marry, is that all Ise get for my labour,  
than I may come trotting every day.  
Thou art hard a belief, than said our King,  
to please him with letters he was right willing,  
I see you have taken great pains in writing,  
with all my heart I'll give you a shilling.  
I'll have none of thy shilling said our King,  
man with thy money, God give thee win.  
He throw it into the King's bosom,  
the money lay cold next to his skin.  
Beshrew thy heart then said our King,  
than art a Carl something too bold,  
Dost thou not see I am hot with bowling,  
the money next to my skin lies cold.  
I near witted that before, said the poor man,  
before sick time as I come hither,  
If the Lawyers in our Country thought 'twas cold,  
they would not heap up so much together.  
The King called up his Treasurer,  
and bade him fetch him twenty pound,  
If ever thy errant lie here away,  
I'll bear thy charges up and down.  
When the poor man saw the gold down tendered▪  
for to receive it he was willing:  
If I had thought the King had had so much gold,  
beshrew my heart I'd a kept my shilling.  
Now farewell good fellow quoth the King,  
see that my commands you well do keep,  
And when that the Lawyer you have in your hands,  
look that he do pay you before he do sleep,  
God's benison light on your soul, than he said,  
and fend you and yours where ever you gang,  
If that I do ever meet with your feud foes,  
Ise swear with this staff, that their hide I won bang,  
And farewell brave lads now unto you all,  
I would all may win, and neane of you léesse,  
Haude, take this same tester here amongst you own,  
I ken that you Courtiers do all look for sees:  
Thus with a low curtsy of them he took leave,  
thinking from the Court for to take his way:  
But some of the Gentlemen then of the Kings,  
would needs invite him at dinner to stay.  
A little entreat did soon serve his turn,  
a thought himsel as good a man as them all,  
But where (quoth he) fall I have this same feast  
then strait way they ushered him into the hall,  
Such store of Cheer on the board there was placed,  
that made the Countryman much for to muse.  
Quoth he, I do think you are all crauty knaves,  
that such a service you will not refuse;  
I ne'er saw such slipperdeslapper before,  
here keel I do think is made of a whetstone,  
Méer's dousets and flappjacks, and I ken not what,  
I think in the world such feasts there is none.  
When he had well bind and filled his paunch,  
then to the Wineceller they had him strait way,  
Where they with good Claret, & brave old Canary,  
they with a Fox tail him sound did pay;  
So hard they did ply him with these strong wines,  
that he did wrong the long seams of his hose,  
That two men were fain to lead him up stairs,  
so making indentures, away than he goes.  
The poor man got home next Sunday,  
the Lawyer soon him did espy:  
Oh sir, you have been a stranger long,  
I think from me you have kept you by.  
It was for you indeed, said the poor man,  
the matter to the King, as I have tell,  
I did as neighbours put it in my head,  
and made a submission toth' King my cell.  
What a Deal didst thou with the king, said the lawyer,  
could not neighbours and friends agree thee and me?  
The Deal a neighbour or friend that I had,  
that would a been sick a 〈…〉,  
He has gi'en me a Letter, but I know not what they ca●…  
but if the King's words be true to me,  
When you have read and perused it over,  
I hope you'll leave and let me be.  
He has gi'en me another, but I know what 'tis,  
but I charge you all to hold him fast,  
Pray you that are learned this letter read.  
which presently made them all aghast.  
Then they did read this letter plain,  
the Lawyer must pay him a hundred pound,  
You see the King's letter the poor man did say,  
and unto a post he fall strait way be bound;  
Then unto a post they tied him fast,  
and all men did rate him in cruel sort,  
The Lads and the Lasses, and all in the town,  
at him had great glee pastime and sport,  
I'll pay it, I'll pay it, the Lawyer said,  
the attachment I see is good and fair,  
Thou must needs something credit me,  
till I go home and fetch some mere.  
Credit, nay that's it the King forbade,  
he bade if I got thee, I should thee stay.  
The Lawyer paid him an hundred pound,  
in ready money, ere he went away.  
Would every Lawyer were served thus,  
from troubling poor men they would cease,  
They'd either show them a good cause why,  
or else they'd let them live in peace.  
And thus I end my merry Tale,  
which shows the plain man's simpleness,  
And the King's great mercy in righting his wrongs,  
and the Lawyer's fraud and wickedness.  
FINIS.  
M. P.