🍺 Code4Lib Bar Jokes

A librarian, a systems developer, and a metadata cataloger walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they'd like to drink. The librarian says, "I'll have whatever everyone else is having — I believe in shared infrastructure." The developer says, "I'll build my own drink from scratch using open-source ingredients, and I'll put the recipe on GitHub." The cataloger says, "I'll have a beer, but first I need to assign it an ISBN, create a MARC record, cross-reference it with VIAF, mint an ORCID for the bartender, and express the whole transaction as RDF triples." The bartender sighs and says, "That's going to take at least three migration cycles." The cataloger replies, "Only if we're still using MARC."

A Blacklight instance, a VuFind instance, and a legacy OPAC walk into a bar. The Blacklight says, "I'll have a Solr-infused cocktail — faceted, searchable, and fully customizable." The VuFind says, "I'll have the same, but with a simpler theming layer and better out-of-the-box defaults." The legacy OPAC stares blankly at the bartender and says, "I'd like to search for a book, but I can only do it one field at a time, the interface looks like it was built in 1997, and if you want to refine your results you have to start over from the beginning." The bartender shakes his head and says, "Sorry, pal — we migrated to a discovery layer years ago. You might want to try the bar across the street. They still use dumb terminals."

A Perl script, a Python script, and a Ruby on Rails application walk into a bar. The Perl script says, "I'll take whatever's cheapest — I was written in 2004 and nobody's updated me since, but I still work and I'm not apologizing." The Python script says, "I'll have a craft IPA — I'm modern, readable, and everyone says I'm easy to learn." The Ruby on Rails app says, "I'll have whatever's convention over configuration — I don't need to make decisions, the framework decides for me." The bartender looks at all three and says, "You know, we used to have a PHP application in here too, but it kept reinventing the wheel every time someone ordered a drink." The Perl script mutters, "There's more than one way to order a beer."

A linked data evangelist, a MARC traditionalist, and a BIBFRAME skeptic walk into a bar. The evangelist says, "I'll have a drink, and here's its URI so anyone on the semantic web can reference it." The traditionalist says, "I'll have a drink, but I need it in a 245 field with proper subfield coding, and the drink's author needs a 100 field with a relator term." The skeptic says, "I'll have a drink, but I've been waiting for BIBFRAME to be fully implemented since 2012 and I'm starting to think it's like the drink that never arrives." The bartender says, "We have all three formats available, but honestly, most of our patrons just want a beer and don't care how it's cataloged." All three gasp in horror.

A conference organizer, a job seeker, and a mailing list lurker walk into a bar. The organizer says, "I'll have a drink, but first I need to put it to a vote, solicit proposals for alternative drinks, form a committee to evaluate the proposals, and design a t-shirt commemorating the drink." The job seeker says, "I'll have a drink, but only if the position requires an MLS, three years of experience with Solr, demonstrated proficiency in Python, and the ability to work collaboratively in a team environment." The lurker says nothing, listens to everyone else's orders, learns an enormous amount about what drinks are available and which ones to avoid, and then quietly leaves without posting anything. The bartender says, "That last one — that one's been doing that for twenty-two years."