Integration One


Discovering What Makes Me “Me”

Root Belief #1: I believe that my purpose is to support others.
This belief stems from all of the ways in which I feel that I contribute positively to society.
I have noticed that I tend to gravitate towards roles where I am doing something to help
someone else. I have been a swim coach for two years now, and I have spent several
years tutoring peers and younger students. I always find myself lending a helping hand
to friends for whatever they might need, whether that is academic support, mental
support, or something else. Like Brooks said in the video from week 2, “We happen to
live in a society that favors Adam 1, and often neglects Adam 2,” (“Should You Live for
Your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). I also
strongly encourage that other people stand up for themselves, or learn to say no in a
situation where they have every right to. In one of the videos, someone said, “You
deserve to know what it feels like to be disrespected,” (“Because I Love You” by the One
Love Foundation - Moreau FYE Week Four). I try to make sure that all of the people that
I care about understand that they should not be subjected to any sort of treatment that
does not make them feel happy or safe. This belief has been affirmed by the parents of
the kids that I coach, the students I have tutored, and my friends. I have been surprised
by several parents going out of their way to thank me for the hard work that I put in to
help run practices, and for the improvement they have seen in their kids. One of the
students that I tutored would always comment that my methods actually helped her
become a better learner, and it was also affirmed by the confidence I saw grow in her
throughout our time working together. My friends affectionately call me “Mama Grace,”
not only because it’s a funny nickname, but also because I am always offering my
support and advice, and serving as someone my friends can depend on.

Root Belief #2: I believe that I am meant to be different from others.
This belief stems from the journey I have been on thus far. For the places I have grown
up in, I have almost always found myself in the minority as a woman of color. Like
George Ella Lyon said, “No one else sees the world as you do; no one else has your
material to draw on,” (“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six).
While being a minority is often hard, I have gained so many positive experiences, and I
have built up a lot of strength and resilience from the not-so-positive experiences. I can
also connect this to what Father Pete said about how, “There is such a thing as a
healthy ego, but we’re talking here about egocentricity, an unhealthy sort of self-love
that flatters us with the idea that everything in the world revolves around us,” (“The Role
of Faith in Our Story” by Father Pete - Moreau FYE Week Three). We have to
understand that people will have differing opinions from our own, and we need to be
mindful of other people’s experiences. I always listen to what someone has to say,
especially when they have experienced something that I am not knowledgeable about,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ5ur9OZ-g
http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs


and I often wish that more people understood this concept. I also dislike many of the
societal standards that women are held to, like the idea that you have to shave every
day to be more feminine, and that working out to become strong is bad. I disagree with
both of these, and I have made it a point to myself to consciously think about my
actions, and think about whether I am doing certain things because I want to do them,
or if I have been led to believe by others that I should do them. To take a quote from
Father Kevin Grove, “The second Notre Dame, our Notre Dame, began as a response
to the failures of the first one,” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by
Father Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week Five). Another way in which I feel I differ from
others is that I am choosing to pursue a field that is different from my parents, and
different from what some people think I should be doing. I believe that to be happy in
life, we need to pursue something that we actually enjoy, and unfortunately I think that
many people feel that they are unable to pursue their career of choice. I have learned
from the “failures” of people who are unhappy with their lives because of their jobs, and
I am making sure that I do something different. This belief has been affirmed by my
conversations with other people. I have found that I usually think differently than others
on at least one of these topics, and this usually leads to discussion about these
differences. I try to have these constructive conversations because I think it is important
to explore why we all have the opinions that we do.

Root Belief #3: I believe that I grow by making strong connections with others.
This belief stems from the ideas that I have gathered from my best friends and also from
my family. Something I find myself doing often is having conversations about very
important topics like race, mental health, and feminism with my closest friends. My
friends, Olivia and Izzy, and I often discuss anxiety, which affects both of them. I have
learned a lot from my two best friends about their own experiences, and they have
helped me create a more informed opinion about mental health. As Brooks said in his
talk, “Adam 1 is built by building on your strengths, Adam 2 is built by fighting your
weaknesses,” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks -
Moreau FYE Week Two). My friends have helped me grow as a person by sharing their
experiences, strengths, and weaknesses with me. Olivia and I also frequently talk about
our experiences as mixed-race women of color, and while we share that in common, I
have also been able to better understand a perspective other than my own.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said that, “I realized that people like me, girls with skin the
color of chocolate, whose kinky hair could not form ponytails, could also exist in
literature,” (“The Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau
FYE Week Seven). In one of my best friends I found someone similar to me, but
someone from whom I could learn. I think that what Brené Brown said about how “In
order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen,” is
also very relevant to this, because I was able to become so close with my friends by

https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM
https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story


being vulnerable with them (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE
Week One). I believe that this belief can be affirmed in the ways I know that I have
grown as a person, and the ways others have seen me grow. During middle school I
may not have completely understood these heavy topics and known how to deal with
them, but I often find myself able to better speak about these things. I have become
more aware of the fact that if someone says something hurtful toward a certain person
or group of people, you must be the one to stand up and tell them that it is not okay. I try
my very best to be the person to speak up in these situations. My friends and I share
these beliefs, and together we try to combat these unfortunate cases.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=3