Integration Two The Power of Choice My path in life is ambiguous. Of course, growing up I found what I love to do, and what excited me to study. But while I may have found a direction, there was never any certainty about how it would all turn out. Throughout this first semester of college, I have begun to realize that while I don’t know where I will end up, I do know that I have the power of choice. Ultimately, I make the decisions that will guide my life. And I can choose a path where I succumb to anxiety, sadness and stress, or I can choose a path where I prioritize my well-being and happiness. Both paths will most likely lead me to a future, but it is only by taking the ladder path that I will truly be living. Having internalized this idea, the next thing to consider is making choices that value my happiness. I believe that the first hurdle I must overcome is pluralistic ignorance (“What is imposter syndrome” by Elizabeth Cox – Moreau FYE Week 9). This is defined as doubting yourself and your capabilities with the belief that you are alone in your doubts and struggles. Since we have no way of knowing the battles that others around us are facing, and are simply seeing a put-together life, it is so easy to come to the conclusion that we are simply less capable than others. Pluralistic ignorance has led me to believe that I must simply be inferior to those around me. I am currently dealing with feeling this way about cheerleading. If I am struggling with a skill, it is hard for me to not fall into the mindset that everyone around me has this skill perfected, and I am just not as good as my teammates. But I do truly believe that the mind is flexible. If I make the choice to be confident in my own abilities, I can lessen the weight that this issue has on me. If I make the choice to look around and see the struggles that others are facing, I https://youtu.be/ZQUxL4Jm1Lo https://youtu.be/ZQUxL4Jm1Lo will feel less alone and less inferior. And most importantly, if I make the choice to realize how little this really matters in the grand scheme of things, I will feel a lot more free. As I proceed through college, I know that stress and anxiety is inevitable. My goal is not to live a life that is free of these natural experiences. My goal is to create an environment where stressful situations have less of an impact on my mental state, therefore facilitating a path that is overall based in happiness and calamity. It is extremely important to have ways to cope with tough obstacles. I was very intrigued by studying the process of kintsugi (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto – Moreau FYE Week 10). The art made through this practice teaches that our fissures are what make us golden. In the past, I’ve practiced mindfulness in order to create a better environment for myself – much like kintsugi attempts to do. Interestingly, I began meditating while I was competitively rock climbing. Before every practice, my team and I would meditate. I was astonished to see how much my outlook on both rock climbing and life in general improved through meditation. However, once I stopped rock climbing competitively, I was less motivated to continue this practice. Given that I was not surrounded by my teammates anymore, I would have to make time in my schedule to commit myself to meditation. However, considering my experience in the past, I do believe that this is something I should incorporate into my life again. This may be a step in the right direction to create a calm mindset where I can roll with the punches, and have a positive outlook on difficult situations. Recently, I have found that the company of others is an almost foolproof cure when anxiety begins to consume me. A few weeks ago, I had a really tough day. I felt like I kept getting knocked down, and by the time the end of the night came, my mood was terrible. I was sitting on the couch doing homework in this dire state when my friend from down the hall came https://youtu.be/jGJLJEqD8gg https://youtu.be/jGJLJEqD8gg by. We ended up talking for 30 minutes about random things. When she left, I was stunned by the change in my mood. While nothing we discussed was of any real substance, I felt 10 times better simply having gotten my mind off of the day. It was at that moment that I realized the power of community, and the power of choosing to immerse myself in a positive community. However, it seems that the building of community is more complicated than I might have thought. Community is a gift in the natural course of life, and sometimes, taking deliberate action to connect with others can destroy relationships (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week 11). So in what context would attempting to connect with others (which is a necessary part of life) be considered counterproductive to the development of actual community? But upon thinking about my experience a few weeks ago, this idea may actually make sense. It was when I was not deliberately trying to connect with others that I benefited from an uplifting community around me. Overall, I must have the capacity for connectedness when dealing with obstacles. I do have to consider the course I’ve taken so far in life, and where that has gotten me. Maybe feelings of stress have been the motivating factor in my life thus far. To be honest, going through life the way I have has reaped rewards, one of them being my opportunity to study at the University of Notre Dame. However, Father James B King writes that “The contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything we think we already know” (“Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Father James B King – Moreau FYE Week 12). Being open to change and compromise is the only way that I will truly and fully become the person that I want to be. My greatest need right now is to prioritize myself. I might fear this path, but I also recognize its importance. To truly enjoy both my college experience and my life as a whole, I must not only survive, but thrive. And it will be http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28222/files/189390/download?download_frd=1 through resistance against pluralistic ignorance, making use of ways to cope with stress, and being open to connection with others, that my path in life will be satisfying and beautiful.