Integration 2 - Boylan 1 Professor Catherine Wagner Moreau FYE 3 December 2021 Freshman Year Four Years Later: Adapting Lessons For a New Life Freshman year of high school; what is universally known as a massive change in a teen’s experience in academics, social life, and relationships, always has a mixed bag of feeling associated with it. My freshman year of high school started fairly normal; I was one of 90 students moving up from middle school so I had somewhat of a headstart in knowing friends and the general curriculum structure. Classes were going well, I was meeting new people, and making new friends, everything I expected from the first few weeks of school. All that was missing was sports. I was too small to go into what had been my fall sport of choice, football, so I decided to spend that fall training for hockey. Therefore, when I was cut from my school’s hockey team, I scrambled for something to do. What this led to was my friend group getting me to do wrestling with them. I was somewhat familiar with the sport, watching my older brother captain the team the previous year and having some experience from on and off participation on my town’s team, but I was honestly just eager to do something for the winter season. I couldn’t sit around for another three months. Luckily, I was in a great position to learn the sport, surrounded by friends, a phenomenal coach, and supportive upperclassmen who wanted to do nothing but help me perform at my best. However, what proved to be my greatest weakness was something as simple and common as acne. Wrestling with acne was a battle all in it’s own. Grappling with an opponent, playing defense on the mat, or even rolling over from the stomach pressed on the back and chest, 2 creating a lot of discomfort. Therefore in an attempt to remedy this and allow me to continue the season without these troubles, I was put onto Accutane. Accutane is a very common drug and is considered the solution to most cases of severe acne. However, my response to the medicine was anything but common. What started as an expected flair-up when first starting the prescription blew up into a severe condition with fewer than 200 documented cases. I lost weight, the acne on my back made it impossible to wear a backpack without unbearable pain, and my joints ached to such an extent that I questioned if the short walk from my bed to my closet was possible at times. This disorder threw what was going to be a normal second semester of high school out the window. For the rest of the year, I found myself carrying a backpack in one hand through the halls, painfully walking from class to class and carefully maneuvering the stairs trying to prevent my knees from buckling. It was during these times that I questioned if I was a normal high school student. None of my peers had to go through these struggles, and none of them looked crazy carrying their backpacks in their hands. However, when I was able to take a step back and look beyond what I was going through at the moment, I was able to battle these feelings of imposter syndrome through the positivity and support I received from my now lifelong friends, wrestling team, and family (“What is imposter syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week 9). Although I may have been knocked down by this reaction, I was not alone in getting back up and beating it due these amazing people in my life. Moving forward four years, I’ve entered a new Freshman year here at the University of Notre Dame. This experience shares many parallels to the stresses and discovery of freshman year of high school but includes moving to another state, away from my friends, family, and previous support groups. As a result of my previous freshman year experience, I’ve recognized the importance of friends and relationships to bring me up when I fall. Therefore in my new https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo 3 environment, it’s imperative I find a group able to do just that. Luckily what has been made clear here at Notre Dame is the bond and sense of community I can have with other students that I don’t even know. As Parker J. Palmer states in his “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community”: “whether we know it or not, like it or not, honor it or not, we are embedded in community” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week 11). Luckily for us at Notre Dame, we’re in an amazingly supportive community basically whether you like it or not. But most students came here knowing of this environment and therefore they only add to the good it does in the life of peers. However, as warm and amazing as the campus-wide community may be, I cannot in confidence turn to a stranger when I need a shoulder to lean on. What this has brought me to is my goal to find a group of lifelong friends that can support me like my friends at home once did. However, it’s important that I find the right people to surround myself with. I’ve recently realized the need to analyze the impact that a group may have on me. No matter how one may put it, we all act in ways to try to adapt and fit in with the group of people we hang out with. I’ve been guilty of this many times here at Notre Dame while trying to meet people. The danger of this basic human nature is that falling into a group of like-minded individuals may result in, as Father John Jenkins puts it, shunning the others, playing the victim, blaming the enemy, stoking grievances, and never compromising (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Father John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week 10). This groupthink leads to a toxic environment for the individual and the university’s culture. So to properly satisfy this need for a supportive friend group, I believe I should surround myself with different experiences and stories. Not only will this result in me expanding my horizons, but it will also allow me to listen to other perspectives to assess and question my own http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://president.nd.edu/writings-addresses/2012-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://president.nd.edu/writings-addresses/2012-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ 4 beliefs in hope of finding a more educated outlook. As Father James B. King states: “Whenever we have to shed old ways of thinking, viewing, or perceiving the world around us and ourselves, a conversion of both heart and mind must take place. The contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know” (“Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Father James B. King - Moreau FYE Week 12). If I’m able to demonstrate sacrificial willingness of mind to my friend group and gain new perspectives in the process, then I can be confident in demonstrating sacrificial willingness of the heart in reaching for those friends when I may be struggling. This would prove that I have found a life-giving group. I know that with a support group like this, they’d help get me through to brighter days even if I go through anything as severe as my medical episode during that freshman experience only four years ago. https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/