Pursuit of Happiness

What are you made for? What am I made for? It's a question that really gets me thinking. A question to which my answer has been reinvented in a sense after my visit to father Hesburgs office in the library. Prior to that visit, I believed that I had a pretty good answer. I was made to be great. Made to be the change in my family. Made to change the fortune of my mother. Make her happy. A gift from God for her. However, as I walked around father Hesburgs office with my headphones covering my ear, allowing me to totally immerse myself in his life I found something that I did not go in there searching for. An unwanted inspiration. I could not help but marvel at what a great life that father Hesburg had. What marveled me was not his many MANY trophies, or his multiple crazy stories such as flying in the fastest plane. Not his medal. Not his desk. What amazed me was the impact he had on the world around him, not just those directly related to him. Father Hesburgh is dead. I do not know him personally. I've never heard much of him until that visit. But Yet, his impact to the world was so grand that even through a mere documentary of his funeral I could almost feel his greatness. As I stood in that room, I began to go into a deep thought and realized that although his name is not as commonly known as people I idolize such as J.Cole, or Jay Z, father Hesburg was on an entirely different level then any who preceded him. I wanted-- I want a life like that. A life of impact, a life of meaning. Not just to my mom, or my little sister whom I love so dearly, but a life of meaning to God. Father Hesburg was a vessel that God could look at and be proud of because he thought about more than just himself. Thought about further than just today, or tomorrow, or even next week. He dedicated his entire life to God and those around him, and that genuinely made him happy. When you die you can’t take the money with you, nor can you take the fame with you, but you can take the pure satisfaction that cleanses you. Even on his deathbed, I am willing to bet that father Hesburg was more happy than people alive and well in a mansion. A truly good life cannot be bought. I want to believe that that is what I was made to have. 

	A truly good life, where I have an impact on the world around me is what I believe that I am made for, but what am I made of? During the weeks of my first semester here at Notre Dame, more specifically in correlation with my moreau class, I have been pushed to reflect a lot on myself and figure out the answer to that question. I learned in week 1 that I was made of vulnerability. I was made different from those around me and although at times that can be scary, I was made to embrace that. I was made to embrace my differences to those around me and use that as a learning point to grow and develop. In week 2, I learned that through my vulnerabilities and weaknesses, I can truly learn about myself. Learn about what I truly believe in. Everyone has different truths because everyone has different experiences. Different goals. Different end games. I identified my truth to be in God. My family's faith extended to me which enabled me to truly fall in love with and believe in God. This allowed for me to understand that I am made of grace. Made of favor. A royal bloodline. Because I am a child of God, I have all the tools required-- the lever required to move the world. During week 11 I learned how to encounter communities. This week was especially important to me, and now that I am reflecting on it, it is especially important to me because I am pursuing a life as fulfilling as father Hesburgs. He was a man that could move nations. This was because of his ability to truly connect with communities bigger than just himself. Communities in which he had many differences with, differences that did not matter to him. He was able to look past all of that, not saying that those differences would have or should have affected his views of others, but he was able to understand that the only thing that really mattered was that the people in those communities were all men and women of God. That fact, and that fact alone was enough to build a bond that enabled people to travel thousands of miles just to see a man they did not know personally on his deathbed. 

	Now I'm only 18 and understand that I am still far from where I need to be. If it were easy, there would be many more like father hesburgh. It's not easy, and that's what makes it all the more rewarding when achieved. I know or I am aware of what I need to do to become a great man like father Hesburgh, but still find it difficult to do these things. I still judge people who are different from me. I still allow what others say affect the way I view them and myself. I still am changing my end goal in college on a weekly basis. I understand that those things are not ideal but I also understand that I am human. Those things are not ideal but they are natural feelings and behaviors that humans exhibit. Now it is true that God made me to be imperfect but he also made me (and other humans) in his image. This means that although I am able to feel those negative feelings, I have to work hard to overcome them. I think that is one of the reasons that I found myself so fascinated by father Hesburgh. Despite being gifted all those things and earning all those medals, despite making all those powerful friends, despite all those great achievements, it was his work in God that he was most proud of and chose to identify as. He overcame greed, he overcame power and lust, and was truly happy. He was made to do God's work and that is what he did, and for that he is whom I wish to try and mirror. I was made for this world by God, and I am going to do my best to be of service to it.