Integration Two An Obsession with Definition According to the dictionary, a definition is “the act of defining, or of making something definite, distinct, or clear.” This meaning was determined by someone else who is well-versed with grammar and the English language, and therefore, it makes sense for this type of person to determine the meaning of this word. However, so many times throughout one’s life, a person will let other people define his or her own beliefs and perspectives. In some cases, this is for the better; for example, one’s family may teach them about morality and religion. In other cases, this can be for the worse as sources like popular media can portray a group of people in a stereotypical way or cause someone to have unrealistic expectations about their future. One of the more harmful applications of a definition is when it is applied to oneself and his or her expectations. Expectations can be very helpful as they allow someone to form goals for himself or herself. For example, if a child’s father expects them to follow in his footsteps, this could provide the person with a drive to succeed and to make his parent proud. It can also be a source of comfort to have someone who is close to you that has already gone through your chosen path. However, expectations like this can be harmful if they go against a person’s own goals, happiness, and reality. An example of this could be the budding artist whose family pushes him to give up on painting and get a ‘real’ job. In this case, by letting someone else define his future, the young artist will likely experience sadness and disappointment if he allows this to continue. A quote related to this idea was detailed in the ninth week of Moreau. It says “Those expectations are the bars we set for ourselves. When we meet (or surpass) them, we feel like we are worthy. If we don’t meet those expectations, we feel like the exact opposite — that we aren’t good enough” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine, https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_sou rce=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau). The good and bad side of expectations https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau can be applied to my own life. On the positive side, they help me to set goals and feel accomplished when I reach them. For example, as a prospective finance major, I try to perform the best that I can within my Fundamentals of Finance class, so when I received an A-grade on our most recent midterm, I was excited and glad that my hard work paid off. On the other hand, my expectations have also led me to feel disappointment and sadness. During the fall of last year, I was applying to different colleges and universities, and one of these stood above the rest. I preferred this college to such an extent that when asked how I’d rank the schools that I’m applying to, I would say that this school was my number one choice, and every other school was relatively equal. I was both confident and hopeful that I’d get in. When I received their response to my early application, I saw that I had been deferred to regular decision. Although it wasn’t a straightforward denial, it felt like one to me at the time, and I became very disappointed. However, I held on to the belief that I would be accepted during the regular decision round of applications. When I read the final denial, I shrugged it off in the moment, but after an hour or so, I felt very disappointed and sad as I’d been dreaming about an acceptance letter for such a long time. In this situation, my expectations and my own definition of my future caused me to feel disappointed, which is why it can be harmful to apply definitions to oneself. Definitions can also have harmful effects when applied to other people and groups. This is detailed in the eleventh week of Moreau when Ms. Shibata says “If all the accounts that you hear are of police brutality or bias, then that impacts your thinking about police and how you might interact with police” (“With Voices True Snapshot Summary” by the Klau Center Archive on Race - Moreau FYE Week Eleven, https://voicestrue.nd.edu/stories/keri-kei-shibata/). The example of police in the modern day is one situation in which an unfair stereotype is used to define a group of people. Although some people have held negative beliefs towards the police force for a while, it has significantly worsened within the last two years. Protests broke out across the United States in response to the death of George Flloyd, which unfortunately resulted in actions of violence from both the protester and law enforcement sides of the https://voicestrue.nd.edu/stories/keri-kei-shibata/ situation. However, violence by the police was heavily focused on by the news media, which resulted in the media essentially running a smear campaign against the police force. This quickly led to the demonization of the entire force nationwide. Although an overwhelming majority of cops are good people who seek the safety of their communities, they were portrayed as monsters, and they now have to deal with the mental health problems that result from this type of negative, hateful sentiment. This false definition of police, which was created from the single perspective of the “bad cop,” resulted in the whole force suffering unfairly, which shows how stereotypes are harmful when applied to a group of people. This false perception of a group can also negatively impact those outside of it. As someone who enjoys visiting the city of Chicago, I am grateful for our police force; although Chicago’s crime rate is high, much of the city itself is completely safe due to their work. However, this has changed recently. In 2021, Chicago is on track to lose about 1000 officers because of retirement and other causes. This number is almost double that of a normal year. Having dealt with continued negative publicity and actions by the city’s government that conflicted with the goals of law enforcement, many police decided to leave. Because of this, crime rates have gone up throughout the city, even in places that had been perfectly secure. For example, during Fall Break, my mother told me about how there had been numerous carjackings on Michigan Avenue, which is somewhere that I had always believed to be safe. In this way, the false definition of a group can not only harm its members but also those around them. The best way to combat the negative effects that definitions can have on oneself and his or her perspectives of others is through understanding. A helpful way to reach understanding is by realizing and accepting flaws or negative events. During the tenth week of Moreau, Kirsten, the kintsugi artist, says “Everybody, I hope, walks away with this greater connection to who they are. That they learn that the things that they’ve experienced — the good, the bad, the ugly, all of that — it has made them this beautiful, dynamic, interesting person that they are today. And that that person is worth celebrating and honoring” (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by the Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Ten, https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/). Different moments and situations help to define who a person is, and by realizing the importance that both good and bad events have, someone can better understand themselves and accept unfortunate events. For me, the denial from my dream school caused me to feel disappointment; however, if that hadn’t happened, I would never have ended up at the University of Notre Dame, which I truly believe is a better fit for me than my dream school would have been. Also, during the last year, one of my friendships turned out to be toxic, and as a result, I grew closer with my current best friend and learned the importance of true, caring relationships. Without these negative situations, I wouldn’t have experienced the positives that resulted from them. Because of these experiences, I have gained a better understanding of myself and am prepared to define my own future, freeing myself from the harm that unhealthy expectations may have. Understanding the situations and experiences of other people can also combat the negative effects that outside definitions like stereotypes may have. During the twelfth week of Moreau, one of the modules detailed how “Human life is only a long way of the cross . . . The way of the cross is everywhere, and we walk along it every day in spite of ourselves and often unknown to us” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by the Campus Ministry - Moreau FYE Week Twelve, https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28298/files/186731?module_item_id=103503). By being willing to listen to others' perspectives and realizing that everyone goes through difficult situations, one can begin to sympathize with and understand others instead of allowing stereotypes to control his or her perspective. In the example of the police, by realizing the insults and personal attacks unleashed at them on a daily basis, this understanding will likely lead to support from the community, which acts to bring people together. In these ways, actively trying to understand the perspectives of other people combats the harmful effects of single perspectives and https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ stereotypes. Unlike words where an expert gives them their definition, the act of defining, in many cases, is best left to those who are being defined.