Integration 2 


New Home, New Paths

I have always envisioned college to be a place where I would unravel my true self. A
journey that entails leaving my home and family behind, to embark on a new chapter in my life. I
thought I had a clear image of where this path would take me, however, upon coming to Notre
Dame I realized that I was wrong. The great shift within my agenda and priorities pushed me to
visualize greater possibilities and goals. I realized that at my time here I have the opportunity to
grow as a person while positively impacting those around me. While adapting to this new
environment I developed a beautiful way of thinking and looking at life. No longer did I see
personal growth out of my reach, but saw it as a destination around the corner.

It is of no surprise that my new priorities lie within being academically and emotionally
challenged in my new home. At the start of the semester, I felt as if I was drowning in work and
overwhelmed by the thought of fitting in. I thought that I was not good enough to be at Notre
Dame and let my head get to me. Now looking back, I believe that I let the imposter syndrome
get to me. According to Cox, “Where we each doubt ourselves privately but believe we are alone
in thinking that way because no one else voices their doubts” (“What is Imposter Syndrome?" by
Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). I thought that I was alone in my academic struggles
and fear of not being able to make friends, however, I have come to the realization that we were
all in the same boat. Everyone around me had the same need to exceed their expectations and
strive in this new environment. It took me a while to realize this, however, I have learned that
when moving to a new place I must believe that I am not alone. By finding this confidence in
myself and believing that I am worthy of being where I am, I will fight the imposter syndrome
anywhere I go. As Hogan stated, by one placing expectations in their life, they are letting their
lives be defined by an idea (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan
- Moreau FYE Week Nine). For this reason, any place I go that I am accepted into I will no
longer doubt myself, but rather believe that I got accepted for a reason. I have learned that any
journey entails ups and downs and that I must embrace my obstacles to grow as a person.

Apart from imposter syndrome, I have let my insecurities get the best of me. At Notre
Dame, I have undergone the famous “freshman fifteen”, where one gains 15 pounds during their
freshman year of college. I let myself get carried away with all the desserts, pizza, and pasta at
the dining hall. On top of that, I was unable to set a routine for myself. There was no set time for
my day to start and I could never seem to tie in my fitness life. I began to lose myself as I felt I
had no time for anything. I would let my room get messy, go days without doing laundry, and not
take care of myself. However, after time there was a shift in my mentality as no longer did I feel
sorry for myself, but rather took the initiative to get myself together. I started to see beauty in my
brokenness and started looking at my flaws positively and with love. As said in the Grotto video,
“I want people to also know that their hearts are breakable, and it’s a very good thing, that it’s
worth celebrating because it allows you to grow and expand” (“Women Find Healing Through
Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Ten). I was able to point out what was
“breaking” me and start putting the pieces back together, working towards improving my

https://youtu.be/ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://grottonetwork.com/authors/julia-hogan
https://grottonetwork.com/authors/julia-hogan
https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/
https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/


imperfections, and overall growing as a person. I discovered that in order to truly be connected
with myself I must see all the good and bad in myself as a learning experience. I learned that in
the future, I must tackle my imperfections with love in order to be able to heal and start working
towards expanding my character.

Coming to Notre Dame, was another push out of my comfort zone. Throughout my life, I
have lived in four different cities. Each place left me with a different mindset and beliefs as I
encountered many people from diverse backgrounds. Upon entering Notre Dame, I realized that
this place wasn’t going to be any different. I have met people from across the world or countries
that I forgot existed on the map. For example, my greatest friend, Sofia, is from Nicaragua, a
country that is falling under a communist regime. Over the semester, I have learned all about her
culture and the hardships she has undergone at her home. As Prof. Agustin Fuentes mentioned,
“It changes, race and racism are malleable, alterable. That is in fact, why we should care about
diversity” ("Diversity Matters!" by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This is
the reason I will continue to embark on a journey that pushes me to be more open to different
perspectives and races. I will see meeting new people from different backgrounds as a way to
open my mind.

At Notre Dame, not only has my intelligence grown, but as well as my faith. I used to
only go to church only on Sundays, and zone out most of the time. However, here at my new
home, I have integrated into my hall’s chapel. I started by attending church with my friends and
hallmates and soon realized that I was forming part of a stronger community. As Fr. James B.
King states, “Human beings can absorb a boundless amount of knowledge and information, but if
Christians fail to see themselves first as people with a vocation to open their hearts to Christ,
then they cannot expect to change society” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James
B. King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). The more involved I became with my faith, the more I
realized that it helped me be the best version of myself. I began acting through Christ and
performing good deeds out of love. I found the importance of living a life where you cultivate
your mind and heart. For this reason, my future goals entail living a life where I practice my faith
strong and apply it to my everyday life. Living a life of faith will allow me to act out of love
while still growing as a person in all the other aspects of life.

In my Notre Dame journey, I hope to continue to achieve personal growth. Through the
first semester, I have discovered that it is essential to not lose myself in the process. I have
learned to balance what is important in my life and keep what are my true priorities close to me. I
strive to continue to foster my character while tackling all the challenges that arise in my new
home.

https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/27120/files/186051?module_item_id=102825