Integration 2 Assignment
This semester has been a journey that I could never have imagined. Coming from a small town in southern Minnesota where the only people who got into Notre Dame were families with generations of connections to the school, I felt lost. Whether I admit it or not, I have experienced imposter syndrome. In such a competitive environment at Notre Dame, “People who are highly skilled or accomplished tend to think others are just as skilled. This can spiral into feelings that they don’t deserve accolades and opportunities over other people… and there’s often no threshold of accomplishment that puts these feelings to rest” (“What is Imposter Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). From this quote, I have realized that these feelings may never vanish, yet I have the opportunity each day to tell myself that I am worthy and valued. I achieved great things to get here, and I will achieve great things while I’m here. These positive thoughts personally need to be transitioned to action to fulfill my dream. Currently, I am struggling to take the first step in these processes as there are many paths to take, and I am unaware of the correct or most efficient one. This may be a battle of encountering failure, but all I need to do is take the first step.
I always had a black and white plan I needed to follow in high school, like getting A’s, doing well on big tests, and contributing to my community, but coming to Notre Dame, there are so many paths to take. Many strive to get good grades, but others prioritize their club activities yet still experience great success once they graduate. It is this new opaqueness that greatly troubles me. However, I have realized that I should pursue what I am interested in, and with feedback from upperclassmen, try not to worry about a harsh professor or a class that just doesn’t go your way grade-wise. 
One thing that has become clearer to me since I’ve arrived on campus is the overwhelming opportunity the university itself offers and the expanse of the alumni network. It is not an opportunity that reaches its hand out and pulls you along, but it is something that you must reach for. It is a process that feels somewhat dirty to me as I feel like I’m using people, but I hope that instead of thinking that way, I can see it as forming genuine connections with people who know more than I do. The first thing I must do is take the initiative and make these new connections.
 Nothing comes to you in life when you sit on the couch and hope. No one got to this school by being lazy, so why would I change my ways and become lazy. I need to be even more fervent in my future endeavors, no matter how unclear they are. No matter how I am trying to change or grow, it will be difficult.“Change is difficult but more possible when we see and hear multiple voices” (“Diversity Matters” by Professor Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This semester, my engineering class has had a significant focus on our major discernment, and this process of discernment brings this quote to life. I initially thought I wanted to go into aerospace engineering. Still, our required meetings with upperclassmen, hearing multiple voices interpret my scenario, and revisiting my goals for my college experience and beyond have pushed me to change my major to mechanical engineering. This change was difficult as I was very set on aerospace coming in, but through the process of hearing multiple voices, this change has become easier, and now I see a better path forward. Through mechanical engineering, it will give me a broader engineering background to enter into the medical devices field. My goal is to one day help people similar to my family so that no one has to experience the pain I see them endure daily.
Coming to Notre Dame as a Catholic, I was astonished by the presence of Catholicism on campus. It was unlike what I was expecting based on the way our world is trending today. It was a welcomed surprise, and I believe it has welcomed benefits as well. Throughout my first four months here, I have only met a handful of people who have been outright rude to me, and I think this has a big responsibility regarding the Catholic presence on campus. Simple conversations that I have with strangers always leave me smiling, and with that, this quote stuck out to me. “And if we are determined to keep our convictions free of malice, then I propose that we strive to meet one simple test for public discourse: Our attempts to express our convictions should take the form of an effort to persuade” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address by Fr. John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten). Through the Catholic presence on this campus, I believe it is through the Catholic presence that Notre Dame not only attracts but grows young men and women who will contribute wholesomely to our world. It is through the requirements of theology and philosophy credits that I attribute this wholesome campus atmosphere because, as Father James said, “No education in the faith is complete without an understanding of how the cross is much more than a burden once carried by Jesus… In both light and shadow, the cross is Christ’s gift to us, our only hope” (“Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” pages 14-16 by Father James B. King). Even if my theology professor makes me put in a lot more effort and time than other theology professors, it has ultimately led me to a better understanding of my faith. I often find myself in Pangborn’s chapel reflecting on the day. The chapel in my dorm is a great way to escape all the campus commotion and thoughts in my head regarding worthiness. It provides me a place of peace where I can let all my insecurities and worries go for a short time. Through this atmosphere, I am happy to now call Notre Dame my home for the next four years.