Capstone Integration 4/29 How do I pursue a life well-lived? A well-lived life comes down to three questions that I ask myself every day, make sure I am on the right path toward living a well-lived life. The first question is, “Am I making a change either to myself or someone else? The second question is, “Did I learn anything from yesterday’s day? And if so, am I making changes to perfect that skill or problem? The last question is, “Am I making my siblings follow a path of success, and if so, how do I need to make life better for them and future generations? These questions, I ask every day so I can keep check of the reality of life. As the Nun Graham stated, “Everyone dies, their bodies rot, and every face becomes a skull.”(Ruth Graham by NY Times - Moreau FYE Week 3) This for me states that materialistic materials wear off, aesthetics become old, and riches and power end when we die. However, what doesn’t die is the legacy and inspiration you leave during your journey in life. By knowing that I am inspiring others and have changed the world for the better am I living a well-lived life. “The things we are most comfortable at and the things we are most natural at are often our vocations…”(adapted from Fr. Michael Himes - Moreau FYE Week 3 ) I orientate my life by having values that are connected to interests or qualities that attract me. Personally, having values that feel naturally important to me, whether it's my family, financial success, or anything else of worth. I started asking myself questions such as: What do I love?, What matters to me? Etc. However, in Week 13 Focus Question I started asking myself, Am I orienting my whole life toward happiness? I started understanding and listing my core values by distinguishing the difference between needs, wants, and values. There is a quote by Rodin that goes, “Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” I decided to choose to have my Mission involve the change I want to create in the world. I concluded my Mission statement; "To serve as a leader by encouraging design (architecture) and https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/files/469291/download?download_frd=1 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/files/469291/download?download_frd=1 4/29 forward-thinking in low-income areas creating change that will improve the lives of others." I want to pursue a well-lived life by helping others and changing the environment/society around us. However, how can the others play a role in my discernment of a well-lived life? Week 5 was a conversation that took place during the Dillion Hall retreat. The conversations were about ourselves and our connection to the Catholic faith. We discussed silence being key to the understanding of god’s plan and discussed time management to connect with God on a deeper level. Through the retreat, I came to understand and understood from others that I am a person who is against silence. I am a person who would rather use that time to help someone in need. I believe that what stretched my awareness of myself was that I grew up in an environment where helping others was a normal part of life. This environment taught me that by helping others I am fulfilling my plan for a well-lived life. I want to aid and help students and families from low-income areas financially, socially, and academically. I have understood that the Latino community is in a limited situation and I would like to aid it. People like Father Hesburgh impacted many individuals and even changed many individuals for the better. I would like to become that person who can help and change the lives of others. I feel that there is still a major need in society. I want to help all as I will not discriminate nor judge as we are all human.“We are all created in the image of God, we are all equal in God’s eyes” (Video: "Hesburgh" by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2) However, how can I grow my mission statement in an environment/ society that has greed and suffering? How can I act wiser when I don’t understand these situations? There is a quote from Confucius who said that there were three ways to learn wisdom: "First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 4/29 bitterest." Wisdom is hard to define and yet somehow we know it when we see it. The wise people stay calm in a crisis. They recognize the limits of their knowledge, consider alternative perspectives, and remember that the world is always changing. So, how do you become wiser? The Buddhist concept of "beginner's mind" refers to the approach of a person just starting, filled with the wonder of new learning, and being challenged anew by it. By keeping a curious and open mind rather than prejudging situations, we learn to keep our minds open and tell ourselves "I don't know what to expect," which will allow us to learn and gain wisdom. “We’re increasingly isolating into ideological bubbles the worry seems to be that in surrounding ourselves with people who agree with us we’re losing our sense of how someone might reasonably disagree…” (Video: “How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by Dr. Paul Blaschko, ThinkND - Moreau FYE Week 11). When we cease to have a fixed idea of people, things, and situations surrounding us, we grow in wisdom by soaking up changes, and new ideas, and we become aware of the idea of not setting any person above or beneath us. However, how can I become wiser in an environment/society that limits and hinders my success? How can I act with more courage against these limitations? I can grow in my courage by acknowledging that courage; is taking action despite the fear you feel. Courage is the willingness to respond fearlessly despite the anxiety and worry that might be tugging at you. One of the best ways to be courageous is to understand what you're afraid of and then refuse to allow that fear to paralyze you. Because if you let it, fear has the power to stop you from moving forward, taking risks, and making the most of opportunities. “One thing that every one of us can do is to end the cycle of hate by ending the separation that leads to it. This racial separation and violence will not end until we stop waiting for African-Americans to enter our circles. Each of us needs to get to know people who differ from us. We must all make a conscious decision and effort https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIVxQcqnLs&t=1s&ab_channel=ThinkND https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIVxQcqnLs&t=1s&ab_channel=ThinkND 4/29 to expand our circles” (Text: "Dean G. Marcus Cole: 'I am George Floyd. Except, I can breathe. And I can do something.” by Marcus Cole, Dean - Moreau FYE Week 12). Being courageous allows you to take chances, pursue your dreams, get what you want out of life, and help those in need. One way that I act with courage is by maintaining a healthy perspective. I act with no judgment or separation from others. This mindset of acting against society takes courage and is the path toward achieving change in this world. How can I live a well-lived life if obstacles/limitations are all around? How we react and act against them will be determined by the amount of patience, discipline, knowledge, desire, and pain we are willing to invest. One of my obstacles is perfectionism. I grew up in an environment where if something was not done to its perfect form then it was incorrect. Perfection became a killer of creativity and vitality in my life. However, I became conscious of the fact that no one is perfect nor anything for that matter. I understood that life is more than just a “perfect path”, and that on this path there will always be obstacles I must overcome. For me to have a well-lived life, I must go through failures. Like in the Grotto Video with Dr. Kim, “But at the same time, the purpose of my life is not simply about overcoming suffering. Suffering is part of our lives. It is always there, but it is about how to respond to suffering from God.” (Video: “5 Minutes” by Aria Swarr, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 6 ) Life is meant to be full of failures and not perfection as I once thought. Life is full of pain and suffering but it is your determination that sets you apart from others. Your determination is what makes you successful. There’s a quote that I like a lot that goes, “Nothing ever goes as planned in this world. The longer you live, the more you realize that in this reality only pain, suffering, and futility exist.” How can I embrace a society where pain, suffering, and futility exist? In any case, I believe that for man to find a sense of contentment we should initially have self-empathy, an https://law.nd.edu/news-events/news/dean-g-marcus-cole-i-am-george-floyd-except-i-can-breathe-and-i-can-do-something/ https://law.nd.edu/news-events/news/dean-g-marcus-cole-i-am-george-floyd-except-i-can-breathe-and-i-can-do-something/ https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 4/29 acknowledgment of our common mankind. The feeling of sympathy springs from the acknowledgment that the human experience is blemished, that we are largely questionable. Whenever we're in contact with our normal humankind, we recall that insecurities and frustration are general. This recognizes self-sympathy from self-centeredness. The aggravation I feel in troublesome times is the very aggravation that you feel in troublesome times. The triggers are unique, the conditions are unique, and the level of torment is unique, yet the essential experience is something similar. The acknowledgment of normal humankind involved by self-empathy additionally permits us to be seriously understanding and less critical about our insufficiencies. “I think you don’t believe God loves you because you don’t love yourself,” he told me. “You don’t believe you can be loved. You think if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t love you either.” (Text: "Growing up Gay and Catholic” by Jacob Walsh, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 10). He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. What if society doesn’t want to change? What if what we initially planned doesn’t go as follows? There is a famous anime quote that resonates with the week 9 topic of suffering and painful reality. It goes, "Wake up to reality! Nothing ever goes as planned in this world. The longer you live, the more you realize that in this reality, only pain, suffering, and futility exist. In this world, wherever there is light - there are also shadows. As long as the concept of winners exists, there must also be losers. The selfish desire of wanting to maintain peace causes wars and hatred is born to protect love." I came to understand that unfortunately in this modern world we https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/community/reflective-narrative-about-being-gay-and-catholic/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 4/29 live in, there will always be pain and suffering. Where there are Heroes, there are Villains. Where there is Light, there is Darkness. Where there is Peace there is Death and Harm. That is the true reality of society. I correlated with Mr. Reifenberg as he gave a different and new perspective on a world that is different from what we normally see on social media or the news. “They did not see their caring for me as a grand gesture of generosity; they simply did, at the moment, what needed to be done.” (Text: “Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Professor Steve Reifenberg - Moreau FYE Week 9). People came together to aid him, not for love nor compassion but rather as a moral force. Society needs to learn from each other, we need to help each other; not harm or destroy each other only for the sake of “peace” or prosperity. If we let our greed and selfish ideas and acts take control of our world, this world will crumble. How can we make relationships with others if there is a moral force rather than love or compassion for one another? Our mentality of materialistic objects is limiting us from understanding the truth of today’s world. As Pope Francis states, “Only by educating people to true solidarity will we be able to overcome the "culture of waste," which doesn't concern only food and goods but, first and foremost, the people who are cast aside by our techno-economic systems which, without even realizing it, are now putting products at their core, instead of people.” (His Holiness Pope Francis, TED Conferences -Moreau FYE Week 7). I agree with this statement as unfortunately, our society has grown focused on money and riches controlling how one must be seen or act. We have grown apart from the section of community and peace. We rather backstab others or force ourselves to help them to be “well-lived” or “happy.” We need to make a change, or else we will crumble. We need to understand what a well-lived is to live at peace with one another. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit?usp=sharing https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit?usp=sharing https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit?usp=sharing https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript 4/29 A well-lived life is one that had an impact whether big or small on society or even a single person. However, how can one know how to live a well-lived life? “The only way to know more about yourself is to test the waters - just get out and experience life!” (Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4) I agree with this as rarely does one know exactly what they want to do as a career and in life. A teacher of mine once told me that during her college years it took her three years to finally decide on her specific career. Although it took her more years than required she is now happy teaching Calculus 1 to high schoolers. She didn’t let society or others' judgment let her go through a path that was not for her. Unfortunately, in today's modern world many people work a job that they hate but are forced to work in them as they have no other choice. However, for me, the decision on what career I wanted to pursue was decided before I entered college. It was a decision that to this day I do NOT regret as it has been truly an experience for me and others. I want to help others and change the world. That begs the question. Am I living a well-lived life? Week 1 was crucial for my understanding of a well-lived life. My self-reflection allowed me to understand my thoughts, emotions, feelings, and activities. I needed to self-reflect on where and why I wanted to go in the future. Where and why I wanted to change the world. And my conclusion was that it’s because of my family, friends, teachers, classmates, humanity, etc. I realized that these individuals are the reason why I want to make a change. I understood that I need to allow myself time to develop individually. I need time and space to shape and mold myself into someone that can truly help others in need. “The need for a space, a pause, is something we have all felt in our bones; it’s the rest in a piece of music that gives it resonance and shape.” (Pico Iyer by TED - Moreau FYE Week 1) I finalized that, I want to create change in the world. My Mission statement states, "To serve as a leader by encouraging design (architecture) and forward-thinking in low-income 4/29 areas creating change that will improve the lives of others." I want to pursue a well-lived life by helping others and changing the environment/society around us. And I will do so with the people I love and the career that I love.