Capstone Integration FINAL Hicks 1 David Lassen Moreau First Year Experience 29 April 2022 How Do I Pursue a Life Well-Lived? During Week 13, we discussed developing mission statements. My root beliefs revolved around my faith life and the importance of my family and friends. My beliefs also articulated that I would place good morals over anything else. I’ve come to realize that things like grades are important but being a good person matters more. Placing emphasis on being a good person is the mindset I choose everyday. My days are numbered and every second is a gift from God. We have an obligation not to let this gift go to waste. God has always been at the forefront of my life and I think this is my deepest core value. Living a life in accordance with what Jesus has instructed me to do is how I live a life well-lived. Success isn’t some lofty goal because every day has its successes. I can’t define my successes against anyone else’s because I am my own person with my unique set of skills and abilities. Comparison is inefficient when we all have our own definitions of success but I am happier with my own interpretation of it than what others may tell me. The highest good in life for me is being that highest good for others. Living in a manner where others benefit from the way you live your life is a priority for me. It leaves an impact. I think every relationship we have goes into a life well-lived. Family, friends, and religious relationships are a given, but we also have an obligation to be a good neighbor. Suffering may be an inevitable part of life, but it does not define us. It can be an asset we use to be able to help others through hardships. I’ve found that suffering opens the door for the most growth. Embracing humanity means embracing every part of our neighbors, with their own suffering and Hicks 2 flaws. I embrace the humanity of the world to embrace my own imperfection as well as the natural flaws of others. I grow in wisdom by listening to others and having an open mind. Wisdom is an ongoing and active process. My responsibilities to others include being a good neighbor and loving them, whether they are close to me or not. Love for others can be difficult sometimes, but overcoming personal pettiness to be a force for good is one of the most beneficial things in this life. This requires acting with courage, which to me means acting in a manner where other judgments don’t mean much because you realize your life is meant for others (the people here and also for God). To summarize my mission statement I would say: the purpose of my life is to live out my faith through being a good in the lives of others because I value humanity. I live each day in a way that betters myself, my neighbors, and my relationship with God (“Mission Statement” by - Moreau FYE Week Thirteen). Through these weeks of Moreau, I was able to determine these key elements. Week One taught me to practice self-reflection in a way that promotes my health. This tied into the part of my mission statement where I talked about success because I took time for myself to determine how I viewed and should view success moving forward. Pico Iyer discussed pondering in his book about the beauty in the art of stillness and said, “Yet it’s precisely those who are busiest… who most need to give themselves a break” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). This quote is discussing the nature of hard workers and go-getters. Especially at a place like Notre Dame, I think a lot of people can have this mindset. We think that breaks are inefficient and that our time would be better used by studying more, or sleeping, or doing anything except focus on our own wellbeing. Even intelligent and hardworking people can miss a basic understanding in life; we can’t keep on pushing ourselves for forever. This reminds me of our talk on imposter syndrome last semester in Hicks 3 the sense that I think the busiest people can at times think it is bad on their part if they aren’t busy all the time. If they aren’t occupying their time, they can feel lazy or insufficient. When in reality, these typically overachievers have done so much good in their life but also more importantly need to focus on their own mental health and take a break. I have decided that success for me is just being a better person than I was yesterday and I intend to implement this by setting realistic goals and whenever I feel overwhelmed to practice quick breathwork. I think many people can take after Fr. Hesburgh if they need inspiration for a mission statement. For me, I adopted from him the importance of helping as many people as we can because we have an obligation to our neighbors, whether we are close to them or not. This pursues a life-well lived because it leaves the people we encountered better off than when we first met. But that isn’t always easy. Fr Hesburgh himself said, “...I took a stand for something, and I wasn’t about to stop” (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week Two). He took many stands throughout his life and he never did stop, even after stepping down as president. He was a major proponent of the civil rights movement and did not let things like politics or pressure deter him. I think it also shows his ability of not backing down from a challenge or reversing his beliefs. When you take a stand for something, you should be prepared for backlash. Yet, he kept going. In my own life, I find myself wanting to backtrack or make my beliefs seem different from what they actually are just so I don’t get into arguments. However, Fr. Hesburgh showed what it meant to live a good life and stick by his beliefs but still being friends and knowing so many people. He didn’t pick and choose his neighbors, which is the same mindset I hope to enact. I will do this by surrounding myself with friends who encourage me to reach out to others rather than “stay safe.” Hicks 4 With all this goodness in our lives, it can be natural to want to question it all. And by doing so, we can question if our life is well-lived currently. And I think the best way to do this is to focus on the fact our days are numbered. I integrated this in my mission statement because I want my days to be meaningful and to help others embrace our finite lives. This pursues a life well-lived because I am starting to live the best life I can, given the little time to do all that I want to accomplish and help others achieve. Sister Aletheia, who embraced memento mori, stated, “Suffering and death are facts of life; focusing only on the ‘bright and shiny’ is superficial and inauthentic” (“Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die” by Ruth Graham- Moreau FYE Week Three). Most of us don’t want to accept the most basic aspects of life: we are born and then we die. It’s morbid to think in only those terms, but those are the facts. Suffering and death are unavoidable. And because of this, if we only focus on the bright things that make us forget about the morbid ones, it isn’t genuine. I like this quote because it kind of felt like it was calling me out a bit. I choose to focus on the positivity in life, but I don’t think I should forget about the facts. Toxic positivity can exist, and ignoring the realism of life can be quite harmful and actually make us worse off. Because of this, I put a picture of a relative who passed away on my desk so I can think of them but also the limited aspect of our days on earth. One of our “missions” here would have to include what we decide to dedicate our lives to in terms of a job. Although I may not know what that would be yet, I know that, “You have to know yourself first - your values, interests, personality, and skills (VIPS) - before you can make effective career choices” ("Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development – Moreau FYE Week Four). It’s hard to plan for your own future when you don’t even know you. Regardless of the career choices we make in life, we first have to know ourselves first before we make any sort of choice – whether that be marriage, friendships, https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 Hicks 5 moving, etc. At my high school, I think there was a great emphasis on getting to know ourselves. It wasn’t an easy task, but I’m glad I already started the process of knowing myself better. I think even through one semester of college I have gotten better at identifying my own values, beliefs, interests, personality, skills, and emotions. We can’t figure out decisions that involve others without first knowing ourselves. This fed into the part of my mission statement where I said that I don’t want to in the process of helping other people lose who I am as a person. I think it’s okay for me to take some time to myself to decide my career so that I can pursue the best life I can for myself. For these next years, I plan to dedicate just once a month to where I make sure all my career aspects and goals are up to date. Determining these sorts of mantras requires outside help at times. The relationship I have with my parents is very important to me. Relating back to career, they once told me, “... you can live a good life through a good career, sure, but you want to be remembered as who you were as a person, not who a boss determined you were” ("Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity" by Joyce and Philip Hicks – Moreau FYE Week Five). I think this also emphasizes my mission of relying on my network with the people I love but also realizing my own inner strength. Some higherup may determine my worth to a company, but they’ll never be able to truly determine my own worth. I am more than the judgments of others. This pursues a life well-lived because it helps keep a positive attitude and focus to carry out our mission. In the next three years, I want to try to begin to realize that the little judgments don’t really matter in the end. Petty comments about how a person looks won't matter at the end of our lives, but the kind of person we were will. My mission statement also focuses on a positive future. As was said earlier, I have tried to become a better self-reflector. Afterall, “‘Why’ questions trap us in our past; ‘what’ questions https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 Hicks 6 help us create a better future” (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Eurich – Moreau FYE Week Six). To really live a life well-lived is to not be too trapped in our past, but to rather look forward to a better future. It’s all too easy to wonder why these bad things happen to us, instead of realizing what that taught us in order to improve our own future. As a kid, I was always taught to ask why. I was told to ask why to better understand other peoples’ perspectives, and yet I think I brought that over into my own questions for myself. But I think gaining this new perspective and knowledge to ask what makes much more sense. By shifting our focus away from the negatives of the past, we can look forward to what is to come (because we have learned from our “whys”). I think with the suffering I touched on in my statement, it gives a lot of room for growth. Analyzing pain in a healthy manner can actually improve my life. In these next years, pain is inevitable so I hope to be able to work together with my friends, family, and faith in order to grow in and from my suffering. The main takeaway from crafting my statement was that relationships are the key to my life. In the end, I care most about my relationships with God, my family, and my friends. Every one of my values comes second to those three. So it’s fitting that our pope also discussed the power of relationships when he said, "... the future is made of yous, it is made of encounters, because life flows through our relations with others” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis – Moreau FYE Week Seven). Life can’t really be lived well when you are on your own. Relationships are what ties everyone together. By restoring our connections with other people, I think he’s saying that we also strengthen our other connections, such as with ourselves and the environment and our own faith beliefs. Solidarity within these relationships cannot be forced but is a practiced and habitual act. I plan to carry out these thoughts by recognizing that nurturing relationships will only help everyone in the end, so https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 Hicks 7 making some small sacrifices along the way is necessary. Even a simple act of grabbing dinner with a distancing friend can make a big difference. But not just our friends need us at times, but our neighbors as well. We are called to help all those in need, even when it’s inconvenient. Because of this, I talked about the highest good in life for me is being that highest good for others. This can be seen through the act of accompaniment, which is, “...like teaching. It is a practice. By being aware of what you’re trying to do, engaging in it, reflecting on experiences of it -- both accompanying and being accompanied -- you get better. Like teaching and swimming and learning a new language, with accompaniment, you get better by awareness and by practice” (“Teaching Accompaniment- A Learning Journey Together” by Steve Reifenburg – Moreau FYE Week Nine). Accompaniment is not always an easy path to follow, especially because it can feel unnatural at first. I think this quote is saying that to help others best by accompaniment you must actively choose that path for yourself. It’s a deep truth because you can’t passively live your life. Having a life well-lived for me means helping others. But to do so, I must put in the effort. I have to be adaptive (and willing and able to do so) and actively engage in my present surroundings. In my time at Notre Dame and beyond I hope to carry this out by paying close attention to the people around me for when they need accompaniment more than ever. This can best be done by first getting involved. By getting involved, we have to learn to accept people who may be unlike ourselves. My mission statement touched on the fact that embracing humanity means embracing every part of our neighbors, with their own suffering and flaws. I embrace the humanity of the world to embrace my own imperfection as well as the natural flaws of others. In a world where politics, religion, and humanity can be at odds, this is important more than ever. This was touched on in an article by Grotto that said, “You can’t convince yourself God loves you, but you can ask Him https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 Hicks 8 to show you” (“Growing up Gay and Catholic” by Jacob Walsh – Moreau FYE Week Ten). This was in reference to a conflicted man who was both Catholic and gay, which seems contradictory to most. However, I think we should see empathy here and work to embrace humanity. When we face difficulties, it’s hard to see things clearly, even when we know it’s true. Anything is possible through faith and God. It’s a deep insight because it can also show how we can’t tackle these divisions and problems on our own. For me, I like this quote because while I might not be a gay Catholic, I now can understand their persepctive better. I also like it because it is a good mindset for me to have when I struggle with my own doubts in my faith. Embracing humanity also means embracing my own humanity, and the flaws that come with it. To start that journey for me, I plan to start to recognize when I make judgments, of myself and others, and instead try to embrace all of our flaws so that we can work towards the more important aspects of life. In order to make these important decisions and live a life in which my mission statement can grow to better my life, wisdom is required. Wisdom requires evaluating information of all kinds and, “We should be intentional about the information that we expose ourselves to, seeking out intelligent people with whom we disagree and attempting to fully understand their arguments” (“How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by Dr. Paul Blaschko – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). The word “intentional” signals that it isn’t easy to make this choice but there are so many benefits that we can’t find by just stumbling upon them. Wisdom takes effort, often outside our comfort zone. At least in my own house, I know my mom tends to tune into the same new providers just so she hears what she wants to hear – just to confirm what she already “knows.” I always thought that was weird and that nobody else did that, but I think the problem is that way too many people fall into the same boat. There are plenty of people in my life whom I may not agree with but I know they are still intelligent and sometimes well-informed people. I enjoy https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIVxQcqnLs&t=1s&ab_channel=ThinkND https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 Hicks 9 being their friend because it opens me up to new perspectives I could never have thought of before. Even if I don’t agree with them or end up changing my mind after talking with them, it’s still beneficial to intentionally learn from people different from yourself in order to gain knowledge, perspective, empathy, and understanding across cultures. This is exactly what I plan to continue doing in the future. Reaching out to new cultures helps everyone grow in the process and helps to better improve our wisdom. Acting in accordance with true wisdom requires courage. In my mission statement, I discussed acting in a manner where other judgments don’t mean much because you realize your life is meant for others (the people here and also for God). Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. thought the same when he said, “I am convinced that men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other, and they don’t communicate with each other because they are separated from each other” (“'I am George Floyd. Except, I can breathe. And I can do something.'” by Dean Marcus Cole – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). It’s easy for me to see how he gets from one deduction to the next. There’s a lot of truth to his idea. I think when you fear something or don’t know something, you start to make deductions that are oftentimes incorrect. I also think it’s key that he uses the word hate here, because I think hate is the strong reaction we have only when he misunderstands. I feel like if we dislike something, we’ve evaluated a situation and responded based on our preferences, but hate is used in a different colloquial sense most often. Each one of us can choose to actually and finally end hate if we end this separation. If we come together, committed to make a change in the world, the world can become a better place. It’s a deep insight because I think it’s saying that problems come from a lack of understanding and communication and are often not because of actual hatred or disdain. I https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/modules/items/146492 Hicks 10 think this brings a more positive perspective to light and is more encouraging than commenting on and on about the problems in our world. If we act with this courage, we can achieve this wisdom for ourselves. This greatly helps a life well-lived because it helps tackle problems faster and on a larger scale. I first plan to do so in these next years by staying educated by simply checking for five minutes every morning the news. In conclusion, I pursue a life well-lived through my mission statement. The purpose of my life is to live out my faith through being a good in the lives of others because I value humanity. I live each day in a way that betters myself, my neighbors, and my relationship with God.