“Week 8- Integration One”


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Prof. Polotto

Moreau Se. 83

15 October 2021

You Are Your Greatest Friend And Enemy

I believe that I am my truest friend. In my time here, I have struggled to form strong and

true relationships. A week ago, I did not feel as if I was “investing in something long-term” (“5

Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four) with my

friendships, and discovered many people’s true feelings towards me as they had misinterpreted

my vulnerability as conceitedness. I could no longer trust them and had to “leave [the] friendship

behind entirely” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE

Week Four). I realize that I will not form a deep and intimate bond during my first few months

here, but at the same time the realization still strikes hard. Reflecting on this now, I am realizing

that in my desperation to make new friends, I forgot about the most important relationship, me

with myself. Before I may be vulnerable to others, I must first be so with myself, and recognize

my fear of being alone. I must build a strong relationship with myself so that I can trust in who I

am as well as in my choices. If I lack confidence in my character before forming relationships, I

will be doubtful of my choices when faced with uncertainty or conflict. I believe that true

relationships can only be formed if you bare your true self. It is not up to me if others accept my

true self, and nonacceptance allows me to move on with my vulnerability in search of accepting

friends.

I believe that to form true relationships, I must first be alone to discover my truest self

which will bring me to people who accept me as I am and do not ask for change. However, I am

https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/
https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/
https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/


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never truly alone. God’s love always guides me and persists. Knowing that I am a child of God

helps me to find my truest qualities, morals, and virtues, and allows me to act and treat others in

kindness and compassion. Even in my loneliest moments, I recognize to search for others and

comfort and heal them because I belong as a child of God who was made to spread love and joy

in this world, and I believe that this is my purpose. I can grow to be my most authentic self

through service to others. My intelligence and accomplishments are not the sole reason for my

acceptance into Notre Dame. Notre Dame chose me for my character, resilience, dedication, and

passions, because I wanted to use my intelligence to benefit others and I would do everything in

my power to achieve it. Remembering why I was accepted here reminds me of my true character,

and helps me to grow as my most authentic self. I cannot give into my pride and successes,

allowing my character to be compromised. No matter how hard I may get hit by others, I always

must return their insults with kindness, letting negative thoughts pass though my mind.

I believe that I strive for compassion and humility each day. My pride in achieving good

grades should never overpower my want to help others. My successes should not superiorize

myself over others. As Brooks says, “most of us would say that the eulogy virtues are the more

important of the virtues” (“ David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulo…

” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). I wish to be remembered as a person, and not

some distant factful historical character. The CCIM club guides me to emphasizing compassion

over knowledge in my medicine, a career which I hope to pursue. Too many doctors are seen as

distant; however, proper healing requires both of the mind and body, and I believe that I can start

on this path today.

I believe that I will become an autonomous, caregiving person, and that my community

should build me up to help attain my fullest character. My community should exemplify virtues,

https://youtu.be/MlLWTeApqIM


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and inspire me to change so that I may reflect those virtues. I have seen this uplifting community

countless times in my own dorm, with my reliable and caring upperclassmen. I know that I am

loved here and always have someone to confide in. I see their empathy, and wish to be that

person for others.  I believe that relationships should be rooted in love, they should “will the

good of another” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE

Week Three). My RA reminds me daily that what matters most is not fiscal success, but my

growth as a person both because of my studies and interactions. My desperation to belong might

have been my enemy and have allowed others to control my character if I had not recognized the

issue earlier.

I believe that I will find supportive and uplifting relationships through my own with God.

To search for life-giving relationships, I have repeatedly found myself going back to God, and

seeking him at the grotto when I feel most vulnerable. I believe that building my relationship

with God will guide me in my journey, and lead me to fulfillment. My hardships and joys have

reminded me of my humanity as well as others’. I believe that everyone is worthy of redemption,

and that we are all struggling and as lonely as one another. I believe that I must be kind, so that I

can remind others that they are not alone. The most beautiful souls are not measured by their

success, but by their courage. My courage will save the world and set an example for others. I

will accomplish this through my relationship with God because what I “propose, God disposes”

(“Letter to the Father General Moreau” by Father Sorin,

https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/pages/introduction-to-week-5-identifying-narratives?modul

e_item_id=108959 - Moreau FYE Week Five).

I believe that I am from the hope of a better world, from the hope of persisting in the face

of struggle. I believe that I am resilient, and constantly avoid falling into the well of self

https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=partner&utm_medium=promotion&utm_campaign=moreau
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/pages/introduction-to-week-5-identifying-narratives?module_item_id=108959
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/pages/introduction-to-week-5-identifying-narratives?module_item_id=108959


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superiority. I have had multiple opportunities to accept this trap both in my STEM classes and in

my interactions in my dorm. However, my experiences in my first two months have shown me to

be a better person, and to take each experience as an opportunity to grow. As others have fallen

into implicit biases with their perceptions of me, I constantly remind myself to always assume

the better, and to make a constant and true effort to know my peers. I must get to know them first

before judging them, and discard societies’ and other’s perceptions. I believe that I am equal and

fair and invested in life, and that implicit bias was formed by others’ lack of effort to truly

understand individuals, as it is more convenient to assume. This shortcut is “the consequence of

the single story… [–] it robs people of their dignity” (“Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The danger

of a single story” by Chimamanda Adichie - Moreau FYE Week Seven). I believe that if I fall

into implicit bias, I will become my greatest enemy and halt my growth as a person and child of

God.

My vulnerability was not always met with success, but I was met with truth. I believe that

truth is leading me to grow as my most authentic self because I can choose to react in love or in

self-service. My faith always allows me to choose love and interact compassionately with

everyone. My faith guides me to form life-giving relationships because the love that I receive

from my peers should mirror God’s love. Life-giving relationships should have a genuine, true

basis that is formed by honest knowledge of the other. My efforts to truly know one another

allows me to understand their full story, so that I can avoid implicit biases. By these factors, I

believe that I am love and progression. I believe that I am slowly discovering my true self when I

am faced with struggles, because I can choose the path to God, and in doing so I become my

greatest friend.

https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story
https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story


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