Integration Three


Abigail Donahue
Moreau Integration Three
March Fourth, 2022

I Was Never Able to Pray
“Wheel me down to the shore

where the lighthouse was abandoned
and the moon tolls in the rafters.

Let me see the wind paging in the trees
and see the stars flaring out, one by one,

like the forgotten faces of the dead.

I was never able to pray,
but let me inscribe my name

in the book of waves

and then stare into the dome
of a sky that never ends

and see my voice sail into the night.”
-Edward Hirsch

We are gathered together today to celebrate the life of . Abbey, like most
people, never liked funerals. Unlike most people, however, Abbey didn’t like them not because they
dwell on death and loss, but because she thought they misrepresented it. It took her 18 years, the death
of all her grandparents, the murder of her best friend’s mom, and the suicide of her high school friend
for her to truly understand how to �nd meaning in a life ended.

If Abbey were here, she would be whispering in your ear or writing in her journal that life and
death are two sides of the same coin. Abbey wasn’t afraid of death, Abbey doesn’t want you to be sad
she’s gone. She would say the Ancient Greeks (who Abbey studied extensively in her college years)
believed a person couldn’t even be considered happy until they were dead. She would tell every single
one of you that she loves you, and if you love her you need to continue living for yourself. You’ll still see
her in the ripple of waves on a breezeless day, and hear her in the gritty growl of a saxophone solo. Life
would be nothing without death, she exists nowhere outside of your memories and she never did.

As I said before, Abbey probably would not have wanted a funeral. She never subscribed to an
organized religion, she found this spirituality instead in individualism and following her moral
compass. Abbey was a dedicated and passionate vegan from age 17 until her passing. She sympathized
deeply for the animals enduring factory agriculture, and for Mother Earth who su�ered from this



continuous beratement. This dedication to a cause she was so passionate about mirrored that of Father
Hesburgh and alumni Michael Hillmer ‘17. As Father Hesburgh once said “We all ought to be
protesting against many of the things we see in modern life.”(Hesburgh by Jerry Barca and Christine
O’Malley - Moreau Week Two) For Abbey, one of the things in modern life that she strongly believed
needs to be protested is animal abuse, particularly in factory farms and �sheries. By advocating for
veganism and plant-based diets, she found a sense of ful�llment because she believed standing up for
this cause is the right thing to do.

Abbey believed wholeheartedly that all living beings were connected through the lifeworld and
deserving of reverence. Her favorite hours were spent walking through the woods with a good friend or
classical playlist. She liked to sit under the trees at night and thank the universe for giving her these
beautiful moments. This resolution to enjoy sitting still in nature instead of surrounding herself with
the intrusive buzzing of screens re�ected the quote “To me, the point of sitting still is that it helps you
see through the very idea of pushing forward” (Why we need to slow down our lives by Pico Iyer -
Moreau Week 1).

Although Abbey was a proponent of living in the natural world and appreciating the beauty of
Earth, she was also able to balance this passion with a successful career in corporate law. The perception
of the workplace and “adult life” is typically that it's soul sucking and something to dread and despise.
Abbey, however, saw them as complimentary. Everything is nature and everything is made up of
nature. Beauty and harmony can be found in even the most unaesthetic and mundane places. Abbey
was able to �nd joy in her corporate o�ce through the interaction with her wonderful coworkers, and
the “invisible hand” machine that drove her company.

Since eighth grade, Abbey always knew that she desired a stable and traditional career path. In
middle school  Spanish class, when her teacher asked the students to go around the room and say what
they wanted to be when they grew up, she answered with feliz. For her, the end goal has always been to
be happy and satis�ed with her career path. This seems intuitive, but oftentimes people become caught
up in the clout or reputation of their prospective �elds, rather than if it makes them happy. Although
many of her peers hate o�ce jobs or more “traditional” work settings, she always knew that this
atmosphere would be a productive and sustainable place for her to work. Her dad, Ryan,  has been an
airline pilot his whole life, and while he loves being able to �y and travel, she always hated the
irregularity of his schedule. “Everything you’ve done to this point, as well as all the interactions you’ve
had with others, have already started shaping your VIPS.” (Navigating Your Career Journey, Meruelo
Center - Moreau Week Four) She would say with certainty that her experience growing up in a
household with a parent with an untraditional workplace has made her appreciate the traditional and
successful career path she pursued.

Family was always an important and reliable part of Abbey’s life. Ever since she was a child, she
strongly utilized the advice of her mom when making di�cult life decisions, such as the career

https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9
https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/
https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/


discernment illustrated above. Her mom knew her better than anyone else, and encouraged her to
chase this career path even if it wasn't the “most exciting”, because she knew it was what would make
Abbey ful�lled and happy. (Moreau Week Five) She also was able to be the most vulnerable and
authentic around her parents and younger brother, Ted. As Fr. Greg Boyle said in Tatoos On the Heart:
“Somewhere, in the jurisdictional locale where judgment used to claim us, a remarkable commonality
rushes in, and the barriers that exclude us are dismantled.” (Tatoos on the Heart by Father Greg Boyle -
Moreau Week Seven).

Abbey also loved art, journalism, and writing. She was always looking to expand her mind and
challenge herself with new beliefs. One quote she loved was “  “Asking what could keep us open to
discovering new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in con�ict with
our existing beliefs. Asking why might have the opposite e�ect.” (The Right Way to be Introspective by
Tasha Eurich - Moreau Week Six)

She was an avid reader and listener of the New York Times, and one quote that really resonated
with her was “But it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we �nd light in them.” (Meet
the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die by Ruth Graham - Moreau Week Three) This
quote also described her beliefs on life and death being the things that de�ne each other. Just as you
cannot know what day is without having experienced night, you can’t know a meaningful life without
a meaningful loss.

https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/files/523771/download?download_frd=1
https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html