MOREAU CAPSTONE


CHIZOMA E.A DURU
MOREAU CAPSTONE

MY JOURNEY TO THE WOMAN I WANT TO BE
“How do I pursue a life well lived”

Throughout the semester, I have been on a trip to discover “how to pursue a life well lived”. In my
interactions with different aspects of my life such as the morau Modules, my peers and those closest to me
I believe I have finally started discovering and formulating my plan to a life well lived. From being
cognisant of my need to step away from the noise, to realizing my position as a black woman up until
maintaining gratitude for even my smallest wins. I strongly believe  that even through planning I have
begun the road to ultimately having lived a good life and becoming a woman I would be proud to have
been.

My first step towards discovering how to pursue a life well lived was being able to step back from the
noise from Academics, extra curricular activities, family squabbles and take in the beauty that life truly
has to offer. More importantly, through this process I got to decide what I wanted to do with my life. The
quote “  It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and crowded
and changing with every microsecond. It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can
begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger picture” (“Why we
need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer) really got me thinking about the importance of stepping
outside your normal busy pictures and searching for what the bigger goals for my life was. Through this I
was able to finalize what I really wanted to do with my life and how I wanted to use Economics and
Politics to make the African continent a better place.

Doing this I also realized that to achieve my goals, I needed to be a leader. I did not just need to be any
leader, I needed to be a leader that worked to make transformative change for the greater good. For this, it
was very instrumental that I got to interact with a movie concerning Father Hesburg and his life as one of
the most exceptional president’s of Notre Dame. A quote that has particularly stuck with me during my
Notre Dame journey has been “I decided if I was going to be president I had to shake things up” Father
Hesburgh ( “Hesburgh” produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley). This quote taught me that as a
leader, it’s not about following the status quo, it is by sticking by your values and doing the right thing no
matter what. That’s the kind of leader I want to be.

In line with being a leader that wanted to help my people, I started discovering what kind of woman I
wanted to be and how my career played a role in that career path. Despite the fact that I am still uncertain
about what particular career path to follow, I was able to decide on my major and discover how my major
could help the community in which I come from. The quote : “All too often, we raise questions about
vocational discernment as if everything depends on what I want and what I love when in fact, at least as
important perhaps more important in making a good vocational decision is what do the people around me
need? What is it that the community requires, that I am able to supply? We need to be able to listen to
others about their needs.” (Father Micheal Himes)(“Three Key Questions” by Father Micheal Himes),
was really instrumental in helping me discover this path and the importance of this path in helping the
people from my community.



However, with dreams as big as mine, I realized that I needed to be comfortable with things not always
going the way I planned them to go. I needed to become more flexible with my plans and realize that they
are subject to change. That way I would become adaptable and know that no matter what the world threw
at me it was nothing beyond my control. The quote “I realized that I needed to learn the art of
flexibility”.(“My Reflection with my Mother” by  ft Aidevo Duru) My reflection with my
mother made me aware of the fact that adaptability was a key factor on my leadership journey and on the
journey towards becoming the woman I wanted to be.

Asides from flexibility, another important value I needed to uphold would be gratitude. Getting to interact
with Jihoon Kim’s story really showed me this, this was because I realized that amidst the hard times and
the trying times of discovery I was going through at that time, I needed to remember when Jihoon Kim
said “ will use these 5 minutes, to not just pray about myself but pray for others, pray for my loved ones
and I will utilize these 5 minutes and do something about it instead of just focusing on what we can not
do.” (“5 minutes” by Aria Swarr)This helped me to not focus on the things I wasn’t sure of yet, or what I
didn’t know, or what I couldn't have but instead I was inspired to focus on things that I could do and
remain grateful for that. Instead, I channeled this focus towards helping others.

My quest to help others made me realize that in life I had just gotten lucky, and made me focus on
interacting with the people that may not have been as lucky and even just benefitting from interactions
with people all around me. I started seeking volunteer opportunities more as well as spending more time
chatting and connecting with my peers. This was all thanks to Pope Francis's Quote which said “Quite a
few years of life have strengthened my conviction that each and everyone's existence is deeply tied to that
of others: life is not time merely passing by, life is about interactions.”(Pope Francis)(“Why the only
future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis, TED Conferences).

In line with my volunteer work, I had started off with helping the little children that I was instructing on
conflict resolution, but in my interactions with them I started learning way more than I thought I would
from children that I thought were too young to teach me anything. From them I learned about kindness
and friendship. This was similar to the quote:  “Even though I had landed on their doorstep with plans to
be “their helper,” they accompanied me, and during those first two years and the many intervening ones, I
think I have learned – and am still learning– to accompany them as well.”  from (“Teaching
Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Professor Steve Reifenberg)

Notwithstanding my plans for a greater good, there were always some setbacks I was worried about,
especially pertaining to my identity as a Black, African, woman in the United States of America. These
made me think of two perspectives, the part other people had to play concerning perpetuating prejudices
against me and what I could do to prevent these occurrences from happening.  For the part other people
had to play concerning my prejudices the quote “These privileges and the white fragility that results
prevent us from listening to or comprehending the perspectives of people of color and bridging
cross-racial divides. The antidote to white fragility is on-going and life-long, and includes sustained
engagement, humility, and education.”( “Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism” by
(Dr. Robin D’Angelo, adapted from HuffPost)this not only acknowledged that I wasn’t the only one
sharing these concerns but also how people on the other side of the spectrum could handle their privilege.
Concerning how I could prevent these prejudices the quote: ” Yes, I am alive, and George Floyd is dead. I

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https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/modules/items/149932
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https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/modules/items/149967


can breathe; he cannot. But just because a police officer did not murder me or my children does not mean
that he did not harm us.” (Dean G. Marcus Cole)( 'I am George Floyd. Except, I can breathe. And I can do
something.”by  (Marcus Cole, Dean of Notre Dame Law School). Helped me as well. I realized that in my
position at Notre Dame and in my position as a black woman who can breathe, it was crucial that I did
everything in my power to prevent traumatic experiences like what happened to George Floyd from
continuing to happen to black people.

Lastly, through all my learning and unlearning I discovered that in my fight for the greater good there will
be times when people do not agree with me. Sometimes, those people will be wrong and sometimes I will
be wrong. No matter the circumstances, the woman I want to be respects other parties and their opinions.
She reflects even when she is offended and comes forward with the best approach possible. I learned this
from the quote: “Keep an eye on our own motives, when we find ourselves discrediting views we disagree
with and we find others around us supporting and encouraging us to do so we need to take a step back and
reorient ourselves.” ( “How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by (Dr. Paul Blaschko, ThinkND)This also
taught me that because everyone agrees with you doesn’t make you right.

“Through hard work coupled with reflection and passions and beliefs coupled with open mindedness, she
believes that the journey to a life well lived is underway. She aims to be busy making positive impacts
and spreading joy but she also aims to create time to wait, breathe and smell the roses.”(“Personal
Mission Statement” by ). This was a concluding quote from my personal mission
statement, and I intend to follow through with it. My aims and my dreams to be a better woman for my
community and help achieve the greater good comes with learning, unlearning, reflection and
understanding and I plan on achieving this one day at a time. Hopefully on this path I have outlined
towards pursuing the good life, I would likewise start the journey to the woman I would love to be.

https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/modules/items/150004
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/modules/items/150004
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/modules/items/149984