CHAPTER I
It was on a still evening in June, that Laura Montreville left her
father's cottage, in the little village of Glenalbert, to begin a
solitary ramble. Her countenance was mournful, and her step languid; for
her health had suffered from long confinement, and her spirits were
exhausted by long attendance on the deathbed of her mother. That labour
of duty had been lessened by no extrinsic circumstance; for Lady Harriet
Montreville was a peevish and refractory patient; her disorder had been
tedious as well as hopeless; and the humble establishment of a half-pay
officer furnished no one who could lighten to Laura the burden of
constant attendance. But Laura had in herself that which softens all
difficulty, and beguiles all fatigue--an active mind, a strong sense of
duty, and the habit of meeting and of overcoming adverse circumstances.
Captain Montreville was of a family ancient and respectable, but so far
from affluent, that, at the death of his father, he found his wealth, as
a younger son, to consist only of 500, besides the emoluments arising
from a lieutenancy in a regiment of foot. Nature had given him a fine
person and a pleasing address; and to the national opinions of a Scotish
mother, he was indebted for an education, of which the liberality suited
better with his birth than with his fortunes. He was in London
negotiating for the purchase of a company, when he accidentally met with
Lady Harriet Bircham. Her person was shewy, and her manners had the
glare, even more than the polish of high life. She had a lively
imagination, and some wit; had read a little, and knew how to shew that
little to advantage. The fine person of Montreville soon awakened the
only sort of sensibility of which Lady Harriet was possessed; and her
preference was sufficiently visible in every step of its progress. To be
distinguished by a lady of such rank and attractions, raised in
Montreville all the vanity of three-and-twenty; and, seen through that
medium, Lady Harriet's charms were magnified to perfections. Montreville
soon was, or fancied himself, desperately in love. He sued, and was
accepted with a frankness, to which some stiff advocates for female
decorum might give the harsh name of forwardness. Montreville was in
love, and he was pleased to call it the candour of a noble mind.
As his regiment was at this time under orders for the West Indies, Lady
Harriet prevailed on him to exchange to half-pay; and her fortune being
no more than 5000, economy, no less than the fondness for solitude
natural in young men in love, induced him to retire to the country with
his bride, who had reasons of her own for wishing to quit London. He had
been educated in Scotland, and he remembered its wild scenery with the
enthusiasm of a man of taste, and a painter. He settled therefore in the
village of Glenalbert, near Perth; and to relieve his conscience from
the load of utter idleness at twenty-three, began the superintendence of
a little farm. Here the ease and vivacity of Lady Harriet made her for a
while the delight of her new acquaintance. She understood all the arts
of courtesy; and, happy herself, was for a while content to practise
them. The store of anecdote, which she had accumulated in her
intercourse with the great, passed with her country neighbours for
knowledge of the world. To Scotish ears, the accent of the higher ranks
of English conveys an idea of smartness, as well as of gentility; and
Lady Harriet became an universal favourite.
Those who succeed best in amusing strangers, are not, it has been
remarked, the most pleasing in domestic life: they are not even always
the most entertaining. Lady Harriet's spirits had ebbs, which commonly
took place during her tte--ttes with Captain Montreville. Outward
attractions, real or imaginary, are the natural food of passion: but
sound principles must win confidence, and kindness of heart engage
affection. Poor Montreville soon gave a mournful assent to these truths;
for Lady Harriet had no principles, and her heart was a mere 'pulsation
on the left side.' Her passion for her husband soon declined; and her
more permanent appetite for admiration finding but scanty food in a
solitary village, her days passed in secret discontent or open
murmurings. The narrowness of their finances made her feel the necessity
of economy, though it could not immediately instruct her in the art of
it; and Montreville, driven from domestic habits by the turmoil of a
household, bustling without usefulness, and parsimonious without
frugality, was on the point of returning to his profession, or of
seeking relief in such dissipation as he had the means of obtaining,
when the birth of a daughter gave a new turn to all his hopes and
wishes.
'I should not wish the girl to be a beauty,' said he to his friend, the
village pastor. 'A pretty face is of no use, but to blind a lover';--and
he sighed, as he recollected his own blindness. Yet he was delighted to
see that Laura grew every day more lovely. 'Wit only makes women
troublesome,' said he;--but before Laura was old enough to shew the
uncommon acuteness of her understanding, he had quite forgotten that he
ever applied the remark to her. To amuse her infancy became his chosen
recreation; to instruct her youth was afterwards his favourite
employment. Lady Harriet, too, early began to seek food for her vanity
in the superior endowments of her child, and she forthwith determined
that Laura should be a paragon. To perfect her on Nature's plan, never
entered the head of this judicious matron; she preferred a plan of her
own, and scorned to be indebted to the assistance of nature, even for
any part of the perfect structure which she resolved to rear. The temper
of Laura, uniformly calm and placid, was by nature slightly inclined to
obstinacy. Lady Harriet had predetermined that her daughter should be a
model of yielding softness. Laura's spirits were inexhaustible; Lady
Harriet thought nothing so interesting as a pensive beauty. Laura was
both a reasonable and a reasoning creature: her mother chose that she
should use the latter faculty in every instance, except where maternal
authority or opinion was concerned. Innumerable difficulties, therefore,
opposed Lady Harriet's system; and as violent measures ever occur first
to those who are destitute of other resources, she had recourse to so
many blows, disgraces, and deprivations, as must have effectually ruined
the temper and dispositions of her pupil, if Laura had not soon learnt
to look upon the ungoverned anger of her mother as a disease, to which
she owed pity and concealment. This lesson was taught her partly by the
example of her father, partly by the admonitions of Mrs Douglas, wife to
the clergyman of the parish.
This lady was in every respect Lady Harriet's opposite. Of sound sense,
rather than of brilliant abilities; reserved in her manners, gentle in
her temper, pious, humble, and upright; she spent her life in the
diligent and unostentatious discharge of Christian and feminine duty;
beloved without effort to engage the love, respected without care to
secure the praise of man. She had always treated the little Laura with
more than common tenderness; and the child, unused to the fascinations
of feminine kindness, repaid her attention with the utmost enthusiasm of
love and veneration. With her she passed every moment allowed her for
recreation; to her she applied in every little difficulty; from her she
solicited every childish indulgence. The influence of this excellent
woman increased with Laura's age, till her approbation became essential
to the peace of her young friend, who instinctively sought to read, in
the expressive countenance of Mrs Douglas, an opinion of all her words
and actions. Mrs Douglas, ever watchful for the good of all who
approached her, used every effort to render this attachment as useful as
it was delightful, and gradually laid the foundation of the most
valuable qualities in the mind of Laura. By degrees she taught her to
know and to love the Author of her being, to adore him as the bestower
of all her innocent pleasures, to seek his favour, or to tremble at his
disapprobation in every hour of her life. Lady Harriet had been educated
among those who despised or neglected the peculiar tenets of the
Christian faith; she never thought of them, therefore, but as an affair
that gave scope to lively argument. On Mrs Douglas's own mind they had
their proper effect; and she convinced Laura that they were not subjects
for cavil, but for humble and thankful acceptation.
In as far as the religious character can be traced to causes merely
natural, it may be formed by those who obtain over a mind of sensibility
and reflection the influence which affection bestows, provided that they
are themselves duly impressed with the importance, the harmony, the
excellence of what they teach. Laura early saw the Christian doctrines,
precepts and promises, warm the heart, and guide the conduct, and
animate the hopes of her whom she loved best. Sympathy and imitation,
the strongest tendencies of infancy, first formed the disposition which
reason afterwards strengthened into principle, and Laura grew up a pious
Christian.
It is the fashion of the age to account for every striking feature of a
character from education or external circumstance. Those who are fond of
such speculations may trace, if they can, the self-denying habits of
Laura, to the eagerness with which her enthusiastic mind imbibed the
stories of self-devoting patriots and martyrs, and may find, in one
lesson of her preceptress, the tint which coloured her future days. The
child had been reading a narrative of the triumphant death of one of the
first reformers, and, full of the emulation which the tale of heroic
virtue inspires, exclaimed, her eyes flashing through their tears, her
little form erect with noble daring,--'Let them persecute me and I will
be a martyr.' 'You may be so now, to-day, every day,' returned Mrs
Douglas. 'It was not at the stake that these holy men began their
self-denial. They had before taken up their cross daily; and whenever,
from a regard to duty, you resign any thing that is pleasing or valuable
to you, you are for the time a little martyr.'
In a solitary village, remote from her equals in age and rank, Laura
necessarily lived much alone, and in solitude she acquired a grave and
contemplative turn of mind. Far from the scenes of dissipation and
frivolity, conversant with the grand and the sublime in nature, her
sentiments assumed a corresponding elevation. She had heard that there
was vice in the world: she knew that there was virtue in it; and, little
acquainted with other minds, deeply studious of her own, she concluded
that all mankind were, like herself, engaged in a constant endeavour
after excellence; that success in this struggle was at once virtue and
happiness, while failure included misery as well as guilt. The habit of
self-examination, early formed, and steadily maintained, made even
venial trespass appear the worst of evils;--while, in the labours of
duty and the pleasures of devotion, she found joys which sometimes rose
to rapture.
The capricious unkindness of her mother gave constant exercise to her
fortitude and forbearance, while the principle of charity, no less than
the feelings of benevolence, led to frequent efforts of self-denial. The
latter virtue became daily more necessary, for mismanagement had now
brought her mother's fortune almost to a close; and Captain Montreville,
while he felt that she was injuring his child, could not prevail on
himself to withhold from Lady Harriet the control of what he considered
her own, especially as her health was such as to afford a plea for
indulgence.
Laura had reached her sixteenth year, when Mr Douglas was induced, by a
larger benefice, to remove to a parish almost twenty miles distant from
Glenalbert; and parting with her early friend, was the severest sorrow
that Laura had ever yet known. Captain Montreville promised, however,
that his daughter should often visit the new parsonage; but Lady
Harriet's increasing illness long prevented the performance of his
promise. After a confinement of many months she died, and was lamented
by her husband, with that sort of sorrow which it usually costs a man to
part with an object which he is accustomed to see, when he knows that he
shall see it no more.
It was on the third evening after her mother's funeral, that Captain
Montreville prevailed on his daughter to take a solitary walk. Slowly
she ascended the hill that overlooked the village, and, stopping near
its brow, looked back towards the churchyard, to observe a brown hillock
that marked the spot where her mother slept. Tears filled her eyes, as,
passing over long intervals of unkindness, she recollected some casual
proof of maternal love; and they fell fast as she remembered, that for
that love she could now make no return. She turned to proceed;--and the
moist eye sparkled with pleasure, the faded cheek glowed with more than
the flush of health, when, springing towards her, she beheld the
elegant, the accomplished, Colonel Hargrave. Forgotten was languor;
forgotten was sorrow; for Laura was just seventeen, and Colonel Hargrave
was the most ardent, the most favoured of lovers. His person was
symmetry itself; his manners had all the fascination that vivacity and
intelligence, joined to the highest polish, can bestow. His love for
Laura suited with the impetuosity of his character, and for more than a
year he had laboured with assiduity and success to inspire a passion
corresponding to his own. Yet it was not Hargrave whom Laura loved; for
the being on whom she doated had no resemblance to him, but in
externals. It was a creature of her own imagination, pure as her own
heart, yet impassioned as the wildest dreams of fiction,--intensely
susceptible of pleasure, and keenly alive to pain, yet ever ready to
sacrifice the one and to despise the other. This ideal being, clothed
with the fine form, and adorned with the insinuating manners, and
animated with the infectious love of Hargrave, what heart of woman could
resist? Laura's was completely captivated.
Hargrave, charmed with her consummate loveliness, pleased with her
cheerful good sense, and fascinated with her matchless simplicity, at
first sought her society without thought but of present gratification,
till he was no longer master of himself. He possessed an ample fortune,
besides the near prospect of a title; and nothing was farther from his
thoughts, than to make the poor unknown Laura a sharer in these
advantages. But Hargrave was not yet a villain, and he shuddered at the
thought of seduction. 'I will see her only once more', said he, 'and
then tear myself from her for ever.'--'Only this once,' said he, while
day after day he continued to visit her,--to watch with delight, and to
cherish with eager solicitude, the tenderness which, amidst her daily
increasing reserve, his practised eye could distinguish. The passion
which we do not conquer, will in time reconcile us to any means that
can aid its gratification. 'To leave her now would be dishonourable, it
would be barbarous,' was his answer to his remonstrating conscience, as
he marked the glow of her complexion at his approach, the tremor of her
hand at his pressure. 'I cannot, indeed, make her my wife. The woman
whom I marry, must assist in supporting the rank which she is to fill.
But Laura is not made for high life. Short commerce with the world would
destroy half her witchery. Love will compensate to us for every
privation. I will hide her and myself from a censorious world; she loves
solitude; and, with her, solitude will be delightful.'--He forgot that
solitude is delightful to the innocent alone.
Meantime, the artless Laura saw, in his highly-coloured pictures of
happy love, only scenes of domestic peace and literary leisure; and,
judging of his feelings by her own, dreamed not of ought that would have
disgraced the loves of angels. Tedious weeks of absence had intervened
since their last meeting; and Hargrave's resolution was taken. To live
without her was impossible; and he was determined to try whether he had
overrated the strength of her affection, when he ventured to hope that
to it she would sacrifice her all. To meet her thus unexpectedly filled
him with joy, and the heart of Laura throbbed quick as he expressed his
rapture. Never had his professions been so ardent; and, softened by
sorrow and by absence, never had Laura felt such seducing tenderness as
now stole upon her. Unable to speak, and unconscious of her path, she
listened with silent rapture to the glowing language of her lover, till
his entreaties wrung from her a reluctant confession of her preference.
Unmindful of the feeling of humiliation that makes the moment of such a
confession, of all others, the least favourable to a lover's boldness,
Hargrave poured forth the most vehement expressions of passion; while,
shrinking into herself, Laura now first observed, that the shades of
evening were closing fast, while their lonely path led through a wood
that climbed the rocky hill.--She stopped.--'I must return,' said she,
'my father will be anxious for me at this hour.'--'Talk not now of
returning,' cried Hargrave impetuously, 'trust yourself to a heart that
adores you. Reward all my lingering pains, and let this happy hour begin
a life of love and rapture.'--Laura, wholly unconscious of his meaning,
looked up in his face with an innocent smile. 'I have often taxed you
with raving,' said she, 'now, I am sure, you must admit the
charge.'--'Do not sport with me loveliest,' cried Hargrave, 'nor waste
these precious moments in cold delay. Leave forms to the frozen hearts
that wait them, and be from this hour mine, wholly and for ever.' Laura
threw a tearful glance on her mourning habit. 'Is this like bridal
attire?' said she: 'Would you bring your nuptial festivities into the
house of death, and mingle the sound of your marriage vow with my
mother's dying groans?' Can this simplicity be affected, thought
Hargrave. Is it that she will not understand me? He examined her
countenance. All there was candour and unsuspecting love. Her arm rested
on his with confiding pressure, and for a moment Hargrave faltered in
his purpose. The next, he imagined that he had gone too far to recede;
and pressing her to his breast with all the vehemence of passion, he, in
hurried half-articulate whispers, informed her of his real design. No
words can express her feelings, when, the veil thus rudely torn from her
eyes, she saw her pure, her magnanimous Hargrave--the god of her
idolatry, degraded to a sensualist--a seducer. Casting on him a look of
mingled horror, dismay, and anguish, she exclaimed, 'Are you so base?'
and freeing herself, with convulsive struggle, from his grasp, sunk
without sense or motion to the ground.
As he gazed on the death-pale face of Laura, and raised her lifeless
form from the earth, compassion, which so often survives principle,
overpowered all Hargrave's impetuous feelings; and they were succeeded
by the chill of horror, as the dreadful idea occurred to him, that she
was gone for ever. In vain he chafed her cold hands, tried to warm her
to life in his bosom, bared her's to the evening-breeze, and
distractedly called for help; while, with agony, which every moment
increased, he remembered, what so lately he had thought of with delight,
that no human help was near. No sign of returning life appeared. At last
he recollected that, in their walk, they had at some distance crossed a
little stream, and starting up with renovated hope, he ran to it with
the speed of lightning; but the way, which was so short as he passed it
before, now seemed lengthened without end. At last he reached it; and
filling his hat with water, returned with his utmost speed. He darted
forward till he found himself at the verge of the wood, and then
perceived that he had mistaken the path. As he retraced his steps, a
thousand times he cursed his precipitancy, and wished that he had more
cautiously ascertained the sentiments of his mistress, ere he permitted
his licentious purpose to be seen. After a search, prolonged by his own
frantic impatience, he arrived at the spot where he left her;--but no
Laura was there. He called wildly on her name--he was answered by the
mountain-echo alone. After seeking her long, a hope arose that she had
been able to reach the village; and thither he determined to return,
that, should his hope prove groundless, he might at least procure
assistance in his search.
As he approached the little garden that surrounded Captain Montreville's
cottage, he with joy perceived a light in the window of Laura's
apartment; and never, in the cheerfulest scenes, had he beheld her with
such delight as he did now, when every gesture seemed the expression of
unutterable anguish. He drew nearer, and saw despair painted on her
every feature; and he felt how tender was the love that could thus mourn
his degeneracy, and its own blighted hopes. If she could thus feel for
his guilt, the thought irresistibly pressed on his mind, with what
bitterness would she feel her own. Seduction, he perceived, would with
her be a work of time and difficulty; while, could he determine to make
her his wife, he was secure of her utmost gratitude and tenderness. The
known honour, too, of Captain Montreville made the seduction of his
daughter rather a dangerous exploit; and Colonel Hargrave knew, that, in
spite of the licence of the times, should he destroy the daughter's
honour, and the father's life, he would no longer be received, even in
the most fashionable circles, with the cordiality he could at present
command. The dignified beauty of Laura would grace a coronet, and more
than excuse the weakness which raised her to that distinction:--his wife
would be admired and followed, while all her affections would be his
alone. In fancy he presented her glittering with splendour, or majestic
in unborrowed loveliness, to his companions; saw the gaze of admiration
follow wherever she turned;--and that thought determined him. He would
go next morning, and in form commence honourable lover, by laying his
pretensions before Captain Montreville. Should Laura have acquainted her
father with the adventures of the evening, he might feel some little
awkwardness in his first visit; but she might perhaps have kept his
secret; and, at all events, his generous intentions would repair his
offence. Satisfied with himself, he retired to rest, and enjoyed a
repose that visited not the pillow of the innocent Laura.
CHAPTER II
Scarcely had Hargrave quitted Laura, when her senses began to return,
and with them an indefinite feeling of danger and alarm. The blood
gushing from her mouth and nostrils, she quickly revived to a full sense
of her situation, and instinctively endeavoured to quit a spot now so
dark and lonely. Terror gave her strength to proceed. Every path in her
native woods was familiar to her: she darted through them with what
speed she could command; and, reckless of all danger but that from which
she fled, she leapt from the projecting rocks, or gradually descended
from the more fearful declivities, by clinging to the trees which burst
from the fissures; till, exhausted with fatigue, she reached the valley,
and entered the garden that surrounded her home. Here, supported no
longer by the sense of danger, her spirits utterly failed her; and she
threw herself on the ground, without a wish but to die.
From this state she was aroused by the voice of her father, who, on the
outside of the fence, was inquiring of one of the villagers, whether she
had been seen. Wishing, she scarcely knew why, to escape all human eyes,
she rose, and, without meeting Captain Montreville, gained her own
apartment. As she closed her door, and felt for a moment the sense of
security, which everyone experiences in the chamber which he calls his
own,--'Oh!' cried she, 'that I could thus shut out the base world for
ever.'
There was in Laura's chamber one spot, which had, in her eyes, something
of holy, for it was hallowed by the regular devotions of her life. On
it she had breathed her first infant prayer. There shone on her the
eastern sun, as she offered her morning tribute of praise. There first
fell the shades of evening that invited her to implore the protection of
her God. On that spot she had so often sought consolation, so often
found her chief delight, that it was associated in her mind with images
of hope and comfort; and springing towards it, she now almost
unconsciously dropped upon her knees. While she poured forth her soul in
prayer, her anguish softened into resignation; and with the bitter tears
of disappointment, those of gratitude mingled, while she thanked Him
who, though He had visited her with affliction, had preserved her from
guilt.
She rose, composed though wretched, resigned though hopeless; and, when
summoned to supper, had sufficient recollection to command her voice,
while she excused herself on the plea of a violent head-ache. Left to
herself, she passed the sleepless night, now in framing excuses for her
lover, now in tormenting reflections on her mistaken estimate of his
character; and in bitter regrets that what seemed so excellent should be
marred with so foul a stain. But Laura's thoughts were so habitually the
prelude to action, that, even in the severest conflict of her powers,
she was not likely to remain long in a state of ineffective meditation.
'What ought I now to do,' was a question which, from childhood, Laura
had every hour habitually asked herself; and the irresistible force of
the habit of many years, brought the same question to her mind when she
rose with the dawn.
With a heavy heart, she was obliged to confess, that delicacy, no less
than prudence, must forbid all future intercourse with Hargrave. But he
had for some time been a constant visitor at the cottage, till excluded
by the increasing illness of Lady Harriet. He might now renew his
visits, and how was it possible to prevent this? Should she now refuse
to see him, her father must be made acquainted with the cause of such a
refusal, and she could not doubt that the consequences would be such as
she shuddered to think of. She groaned aloud as the horrid possibility
occurred to her, that her father might avenge her wrongs at the expense
of his virtue and his life--become for her sake a murderer, or fall by a
murderer's hand. She instantly resolved to conceal for ever the insult
she had received; and to this resolution she determined that all other
circumstances should bend. Yet should she receive Colonel Hargrave as
formerly, what might he not have the audacity to infer? How could she
make him fully sensible of her indignant feelings, yet act such a part
as might deceive the penetration of her father? Act a part!--deceive her
father! Laura's thoughts were usually clear and distinct; and there was
something in this distinct idea of evasions and deceit, that sickened
her very soul. This was the first system of concealment that had ever
darkened her fair and candid mind; and she wept bitterly when she
convinced herself, that from such conduct there was no escape.
She sat lost in these distressing reflections, till the clock struck the
hour of breakfast; then recollecting that she must not suffer her
appearance to betray her, she ran to her glass, and, with more interest
than she had perhaps ever before felt in the employment, proceeded to
dress her countenance to advantage. She bathed her swollen eyes, shaded
them with the natural ringlets of her dark hair, rubbed her wan cheeks
till their colour returned, and then entered the parlour with an
overacted gaiety that surprised Captain Montreville. 'I scarcely
expected,' said he, 'to see you so very animated, after being so ill as
to go to rest last night, for the first time in your life, without your
father's blessing.'
Laura, instantly sensible of her mistake, colouring, stammered something
of the cheering influence of the morning air; and then meditating on a
proper medium in her demeanour, sunk into so long a silence, as Captain
Montreville could not have failed to remark, had not his attention been
diverted by the arrival of the newspaper, which he continued to study
till breakfast was ended, when Laura gladly retired to her room.
Though the understanding of Laura was above her years, she had not
escaped a mistake common to the youth of both sexes, when smarting under
a recent disappointment in love,--the mistake of supposing, that all the
interest of life is, with respect to them, at an end, and that their
days must thenceforth bring only a dull routine of duties without
incitement, and of toils without hope. But the leading principle of
Laura's life was capable of giving usefulness, and almost
respectability, even to her errors; and the gloom of the wilderness,
through which her path seemed to lie, only brightened, by contrast, the
splendour that lay beyond. 'The world,' thought she, 'has now nothing to
offer that I covet, and little to threaten that I fear. What then
remains but to do my duty, unawed by its threatenings, unbribed by its
joys. Ere this cloud darkened all my earthly prospects, I was not
untaught, though I had too much forgotten the lesson, that it was not
for pastime I was sent hither. I am here as a soldier, who strives in an
enemy's land; as one who must run--must wrestle--must strain every
nerve--exert every power, nor once shrink from the struggle till the
prize is my own. Nor do I live for myself alone. I have a friend to
gratify--the poor to relieve--the sorrowful to console--a father's age
to comfort--a God to serve. And shall selfish feeling disincline me to
such duties as these? No, with more than seeming cheerfulness, I will
perform them all. I will thank Heaven for exempting me from the far
heavier task of honouring and obeying a profligate.'
A profligate! Must she apply such a name to Hargrave. The enthusiasm of
the moment expired at the word, and the glow of virtuous resolution
faded to the paleness of despondency and pain.
From a long and melancholy reverie, Laura was awakened by the sound of
the garden gate, and she perceived that it was entered by Colonel
Hargrave. Instinctively she was retreating from the window, when she saw
him joined by her father; and, trembling lest candour was about to
confess, or inadvertence to betray, what she so much wished to conceal,
she continued with breathless anxiety to watch their conference.
Though Colonel Hargrave was certainly one of the best bred men in the
kingdom, and, of consequence, entirely divested of the awkwardness of
mauvaise honte, it must be confessed, that he entered the presence of
the father of Laura with rather less than his accustomed ease; but the
cordial salutation of Captain Montreville banishing all fear that the
lady had been too communicative, our lover proceeded, without any
remaining embarrassment, to unfold the purpose of his visit. Nor could
any one have conjectured, from the courtly condescension of the great
man, that he conceived he was bestowing a benefit; nor from the manly
frankness of the other, that he considered himself as receiving a
favour. Not but that the Colonel was in full possession of the pleasures
of conscious generosity and condescension. So complete, indeed, was his
self-approbation, that he doubted not but his present magnanimous
resolve would efface from the mind of Laura all resentment for his
offence. Her displeasure he thought would be very short lived, if he
were able to convince her that his fault was not premeditated. This he
conceived to be an ample excuse, because he chose to consider the insult
he had offered, apart from the base propensities, the unbridled
selfishness which it indicated. As Laura had so well concealed his
indiscretion, he was too good a politician himself to expose it; and he
proceeded to make such offers in regard to settlements, as suited the
liberality of his character.
Captain Montreville listened with undisguised satisfaction to proposals
apparently so advantageous to his beloved child; but, while he
expressed his entire approbation of the Colonel's suit, regard to
feminine decorum made him add, 'that he was determined to put no
constraint on the inclinations of his daughter.' The Colonel felt a
strong conviction, that no constraint would be necessary: nevertheless,
turning a neat period, importing his willingness to resign his love,
rather than interfere with the happiness of Miss Montreville, he closed
the conference, by entreating that the Captain would give him an
immediate opportunity of learning his fate from the lips of the fair
Laura herself.
Laura had continued to follow them with her eyes, till they entered the
house together; and the next minute Captain Montreville knocked at her
door.
'If your head-ache is not quite gone,' said he, with a significant
smile, 'I will venture to recommend a physician. Colonel Hargrave is
waiting to prescribe for you; and you may repay him in kind, for he
tells me he has a case for your consideration.'
Laura was on the point of protesting against any communication with
Colonel Hargrave; but instantly recollecting the explanation that would
be necessary, 'I will go to him this instant,' she exclaimed with an
eagerness that astonished her father.
'Surely, you will first smooth these reddish locks of yours,' said he,
fondly stroaking his hand over her dark auburn hair. 'I fear so much
haste may make the Colonel vain.'
Laura coloured violently; for, amidst all her fears of a discovery, she
found place for a strong feeling of resentment, at the easy security of
forgiveness that seemed intimated by a visit so immediately succeeding
the offence. Having employed the few moments she passed at her toilette
in collecting her thoughts, she descended to the parlour, fully resolved
to give no countenance to the hopes her lover might have built on her
supposed weakness.
The Colonel was alone; and as she opened the door, eagerly advanced
towards her. 'My adored Laura,' cried he, 'this condescension--.' Had he
staid to read the pale, but resolute countenance of his 'adored' Laura,
he would have spared his thanks for her condescension.
She interrupted him. 'Colonel Hargrave,' said she, with imposing
seriousness, 'I have a request to make to you. Perhaps the peace of my
life depends upon your compliance.'
'Ah, Laura! what request can I refuse, where I have so much to ask?'
'Promise me, that you will never make known to my father--that you will
take every means to conceal from him the--,' she hesitated, 'the--our
meeting last night,' she added, rejoiced to have found a palliative
expression for her meaning.
'Oh! dearest Laura! forget it;--think of it no more.'
'Promise--promise solemnly. If indeed,' added she shuddering, while an
expression of anguish crossed her features, 'if indeed promises can
weigh with such a one as you.'
'For pity's sake, speak not such cutting words as those.'
'Colonel Hargrave, will you give me your promise?'
'I do promise--solemnly promise. Say, but that you forgive me.'
'I thank you, Sir, for so far ensuring the safety of my father, since he
might have risked his life to avenge the wrongs of his child. You cannot
be surprised, if I now wish to close our acquaintance, as speedily as
may be consistent with the concealment so unfortunately necessary.'
Impatient to conclude an interview which tasked her fortitude to the
utmost, Laura was about to retire. Hargrave seized her hand. 'Surely,
Laura, you will not leave me thus. You cannot refuse forgiveness to a
fault caused by intemperate passion alone. The only atonement in my
power, I now come to offer: my hand--my fortune--my future rank.'
The native spirit, and wounded delicacy of Laura, flashed from her eyes,
while she replied: 'I fear, Sir, I shall not be suitably grateful for
your generosity, while I recollect the alternative you would have
preferred.'
This was the first time that Laura had ever appeared to her lover, other
than the tender, the timid girl. From this character she seemed to have
started at once into the high-spirited, the dignified woman; and, with a
truly masculine passion for variety, Hargrave thought he had never seen
her half so fascinating. 'My angelic Laura,' cried he, as he knelt
before her, 'lovelier in your cruelty, suffer me to prove to you my
repentance--my reverence--my adoration;--suffer me to prove them to the
world, by uniting our fates for ever.'
'It is fit the guilty should kneel,' said Laura, turning away, 'but not
to their fellow mortals. Rise, Sir, this homage to me is but mockery.'
'Say, then, that you forgive me; say, that you will accept the
tenderness, the duty of my future life.'
'What! rather than control your passions, will you now stoop to receive
as your wife, her whom so lately you thought vile enough for the lowest
degradation? Impossible! yours I can never be. Our views, our
principles, are opposite as light and darkness. How shall I call heaven
to witness the prostitution of its own ordinances? How shall I ask the
blessing of my Maker, on my union with a being at enmity with him?'
'Good heavens, Laura, will you sacrifice to a punctilio--to a fit of
Calvinistic enthusiasm, the peace of my life, the peace of your own? You
have owned that you love me--I have seen it--delighted seen it a
thousand times--and will you now desert me for ever?'
'I do not act upon punctilio,' returned Laura calmly;--'I believe I am
no enthusiast. What have been my sentiments, is now of no importance;
to unite myself with vice would be deliberate wickedness--to hope for
happiness from such an union would be desperate folly.'
'Dearest Laura, bound by your charms, allured by your example, my
reformation would be certain, my virtue secure.'
'Oh, hope it not!--Familiar with my form, my only hold on your regard,
you would neglect, forsake, despise me; and who should say that my
punishment was not just.'
'And will you then,' cried Hargrave, in an agony; 'Will you then cut me
off forever? Will you drive me for ever from your heart?'
'I have now no choice--leave me--forget me--seek some woman less
fastidious; or rather endeavour, by your virtues, to deserve one
superior far. Then honoured, beloved, as a husband, as a father'--The
fortitude of Laura failed before the picture of her fancy, and she was
unable to proceed. Determined to conceal her weakness from Hargrave, she
broke from him, and hurried towards the door;--but, melting into
tenderness at the thought that this interview was perhaps the last, she
turned. 'Oh, Hargrave,' she cried, clasping her hands as in
supplication, 'have pity on yourself--have pity on me--forsake the fatal
path on which you have entered, that, though for ever torn from you
here, I may yet meet you in a better world.'
She then darted from the room, leaving her lover in dumb amazement, at
the conclusion of an interview so different from his expectations. For
the resentment of Laura he had been prepared; but upon her determined
refusal, he had never calculated, and scarcely could he now admit the
reality. Could he give her credit for the professed motive of her
rejection? Colonel Hargrave had nothing in himself that made it natural
for him to suppose passion sacrificed to reason and principle. Had he
then deceived himself,--had she never really loved him?--the suggestion
was too mortifying to be admitted. Had resentment given rise to her
determination? She had spoken from the first with calmness,--at last
with tenderness. Was all this but a scene of coquetry, designed to
enhance her favours? The simple, the noble, the candid Laura guilty of
coquetry?--impossible! While these thoughts darted with confused
rapidity through his mind, one idea alone was distinct and
permanent--Laura had rejected him. This thought was torture. Strong
resentment mingled with his anguish; and to inflict, on the innocent
cause of it, pangs answering to those he felt, would have afforded to
Hargrave the highest gratification. Though his passion for Laura was the
most ardent of which he was capable, its effects, for the present, more
resembled those of the bitterest hatred. That she loved him, he would
not allow himself to doubt; and, therefore, he concluded that neglect
would inflict the surest, as well as the most painful wound. Swearing
that he would make her feel it at her heart's core, he left the cottage,
strode to the village inn, surlily ordered his horses, and, in a humour
compounded of revenge, impatient passion, and wounded pride, returned to
his quarters at ----. His scheme of revenge had all the success that
such schemes usually have or deserve; and while, for one whole week, he
deigned not, by visit or letter, to notice his mistress, the real
suffering which he inflicted, did not exactly fall on her for whom he
intended the pain.
CHAPTER III
To an interview which he presumed would be as delightful as interesting,
Captain Montreville chose to give no interruption; and therefore he had
walked out to superintend his hay-making: But, after staying abroad for
two hours, which he judged a reasonable length for a tte--tte, he
returned, and was a little surprised to find that the Colonel was gone.
Though he entertained not a doubt of the issue of the conference, he had
some curiosity to know the particulars, and summoned Laura to
communicate them.
'Well, my love,' said he, as the conscious Laura shut the parlour door,
'is Colonel Hargrave gone?'
'Long ago, Sir.'
'I thought he would have waited my return.'
Laura made no answer.
'When are we to see him again?'
Laura did not know.
'Well, well,' said Captain Montreville, a little impatiently, 'since the
Colonel is gone without talking to me, I must just hear from you what it
is you have both determined on.'
Laura trembled in every limb. 'I knew,' said she, without venturing to
lift her eye, 'that you would never sacrifice your child to rank or
fortune; and therefore I had no hesitation in refusing Colonel
Hargrave.'
Captain Montreville started back with astonishment,--'Refuse Colonel
Hargrave?' cried he,--'Impossible--you cannot be in earnest.'
Laura, with much truth, assured him that she never in her life had been
more serious.
Captain Montreville was thunderstruck. Surprise for a few moments kept
him silent. At last recovering himself,--'Why, Laura,' said he, 'what
objection could you possibly make to Hargrave?--he is young, handsome,
accomplished, and has shewn such generosity in his choice of you'--
'Generosity! Sir,' repeated Laura.
'Yes; it was generous in Colonel Hargrave, who might pretend to the
first woman in the kingdom, to think of offering to share his fortune
and his rank with you, who have neither.'
Laura's sentiments on this subject did not exactly coincide with her
father's, but she remained silent while he continued: 'I think I have a
right to hear your objections, for I am entirely at a loss to guess
them. I don't indeed know a fault Hargrave has, except perhaps a few
gallantries; which most girls of your age think a very pardonable
error.'
A sickness, as of death, seized Laura; but she answered steadily,
'Indeed, Sir, the Colonel's views are so different from mine--his
dispositions so very unlike--so opposite, that nothing but unhappiness
could possibly result from such an union. But,' added she, forcing a
languid smile, 'we shall, if you please, discuss all this to-morrow;
for, indeed, today, I am unable to defend my own case with you. I have
been indisposed all day.'
Captain Montreville looked at Laura, and, in the alarm which her unusual
paleness excited, lost all sense of the disappointment she had just
caused him. He threw his arm tenderly round her--supported her to her
own apartment--begged she would try to rest,--ran to seek a cordial for
his darling; and then, fearing that the dread of his displeasure should
add to her disorder, hastened back to assure her that, though her
happiness was his dearest concern, he never meant to interfere with her
judgment of the means by which it was to be promoted.
Tears of affectionate gratitude burst from the eyes of Laura. 'My dear
kind father,' she cried, 'let me love--let me please you--and I ask no
other earthly happiness.'
Captain Montreville then left her to rest; and, quite exhausted with
illness, fatigue, and sorrow, she slept soundly for many hours.
The Captain spent most of the evening ruminating on the occurrence of
the day; nor did his meditations at all diminish his surprize at his
daughter's unaccountable rejection of his favourite. He recollected many
instances in which he thought he had perceived her partiality to the
Colonel;--he perplexed himself in vain to reconcile them with her
present behaviour. He was compelled at last to defer his conclusions
till Laura herself should solve the difficulty. The subject was, indeed,
so vexatious to him, that he longed to have his curiosity satisfied, in
order finally to dismiss the affair from his mind.
Laura had long been accustomed, when assailed by any adverse
circumstance, whether more trivial or more important, to seize the first
opportunity of calmly considering how far she had herself contributed to
the disaster; and, as nothing is more hostile to good humour than an
ill-defined feeling of self-reproach, the habit was no less useful to
the regulation of our heroine's temper, than to her improvement in the
rarer virtues of prudence and candour. Her first waking hour, except
that which was uniformly dedicated to a more sacred purpose, she now
employed in strict and impartial self-examination. She endeavoured to
call to mind every part of her behaviour to Colonel Hargrave, lest her
own conduct might have seemed to countenance his presumption. But in
vain. She could not recall a word, a look, even a thought, that could
have encouraged his profligacy. 'Yet why should I wonder,' she
exclaimed, 'if he expected that temptation might seduce, or weakness
betray me, since he knew me fallible, and of the Power by which I am
upheld he thought not.'
Satisfied of the purity of her conduct, she next proceeded to examine
its prudence: but here she found little reason for self-congratulation.
Her conscience, indeed, completely acquitted her of levity or
forwardness, but its charges of imprudence she could not so easily
parry. Why had she admitted a preference for a man whose moral character
was so little known to her? Where slept her discretion, while she
suffered that preference to strengthen into passion? Why had she
indulged in dreams of ideal perfection? Why had she looked for
consistent virtue in a breast where she had not ascertained that piety
resided? Had she allowed herself time for consideration, would she have
forgotten that religion was the only foundation strong enough to support
the self-denying, the purifying virtues? These prudent reflections came,
in part, too late; for to love, Laura was persuaded she must henceforth
be a stranger. But to her friendships, she conceived, that they might be
applicable; and she determined to make them useful in her future
intercourse with her own sex; to whom, perhaps, they may be applied even
with more justice than to the other.
The mind of Laura had been early stored with just and rational
sentiments. These were the bullion--but it was necessary that
experience should give the stamp that was to make them current in the
ordinary business of life. Had she called prudence to her aid, in the
first stage of her acquaintance with the insinuating Hargrave, what
anguish would she not have spared herself. But if the higher wisdom is
to foresee and prevent misfortune, the next degree is to make the best
of it when unavoidable; and Laura resolved that this praise at least
should be her's. Fortified by this resolution, she quitted her
apartment, busied herself in her domestic affairs, met her father almost
with cheerfulness; and, when he renewed the subject of their last
conversation, repeated, with such composure, her conviction of the
dissimilarity of Hargrave's dispositions to her own, that Captain
Montreville began to believe that he had been mistaken in his opinion of
her preference. Still, however, he could not account for her rejection
of an offer so unobjectionable; and he hinted a suspicion, that some of
Hargrave's gallantries had been repeated to her, and perhaps with
exaggeration. With trembling lips, Laura assured him she had never heard
the slightest insinuation against Colonel Hargrave. Though Laura had
little of romance in her composition, her father now began to imagine,
that she allowed herself to cherish the romantic dream, that sympathy of
souls, and exactly concordant tastes and propensities, were necessary to
the happiness of wedded life. But Laura calmly declared, that her tastes
were not inflexible; and that, had she intended to marry, she should
have found it an easy duty to conform them to those of her husband: but
that the thought of marriage was shocking to her, and she trusted no man
would ever again think of her as a wife. Montreville, who for once
suspected his daughter of a little affectation, made no effort to combat
this unnatural antipathy, but trusted to time and nature for its cure.
As soon as her father left her, Laura, determined not to be brave by
halves, began the painful task of destroying every relic of Hargrave's
presence. She banished from her port-folio the designs he had made for
her drawings, destroyed the music from which he had accompanied her, and
effaced from her books the marks of his pencil. She had amused her
solitary hours by drawing, in chalks, a portrait of features indelibly
engraven on her recollection, and her fortitude failed her when about to
consign it to the flames.--'No;' she exclaimed, 'I can never part with
this. This, at least, I may love unreproved,' and she pressed it in
agony to her heart--inwardly vowing that no human being should fill its
place. But such thoughts as these could not linger in the reasonable
mind of Laura. The next moment she blushed for her weakness; and,
casting away its last treasure, averted her eyes till the flames had
consumed it to ashes. 'Now all is over,' she cried, as she threw herself
into a chair and burst into tears. But, quickly wiping them away, she
resolved that she would not wilfully bind herself to the rack of
recollection, and hastened to exert herself in some of her ordinary
employments.
Laura was aware that the cottage, where every walk, every shrub, every
flower spoke of Hargrave, was a scene unlikely to aid her purpose of
forgetting him; and, therefore, she that evening proposed to her father
that they should pay their long promised visit to Mrs Douglas. He
readily consented. Their journey was fixed for the following day, and
Laura occupied herself in preparing for their departure, though with
feelings far different from the delight with which, a few days before,
she would have anticipated a meeting with her early friend.
CHAPTER IV
Mrs Douglas observed, with satisfaction, the improved stature and
increasing gracefulness of her young favourite; but she remarked, with
painful interest, that the hectic of pleasure which tinged the cheek of
Laura, at their meeting, faded fast to the hue of almost sickly
delicacy. She soon noticed that an expression, as of sudden torture,
would sometimes contract, for a moment, the polished forehead of Laura;
that it was now succeeded by the smothered sigh, the compressed lip, the
hasty motion that spoke of strong mental effort, now subsided into the
languor of deep unconquered melancholy. Such depression Mrs Douglas
could not attribute to the loss of a mother, whose treatment furnished
more occasions of patience than of gratitude; and she anxiously longed
to discover its real cause. But it was soon evident that this was a
secret which Laura had no intention to disclose. A glance from the
inquiring eye of Mrs Douglas, at once recalled her to constrained
cheerfulness; and the presence of Captain Montreville seemed always to
put her entirely upon her guard. While he was in the room, she talked,
read aloud, or played with the children, as if determined to be amused;
but as soon as he retired, she relapsed, like one wearied with effort,
into languor and melancholy, till recalled to herself by the
scrutinizing looks of Mrs Douglas. Even in their most private
conversations, the name of Hargrave never passed her lips. Months,
indeed, had elapsed since Laura could have pronounced that name without
painful emotion--to utter it now was become almost impossible. She felt
that she had no right to publish, while she rejected, his addresses; and
she felt an invincible repugnance to expose even his failings, but much
more his vices, to the censure of the respectable Mrs Douglas. Soon
after she first saw Hargrave, she had written to her friend a warm
eulogium of his fine person, captivating manners, and elegant
accomplishments. Mrs Douglas, in reply, had desired to hear more of this
phoenix; but before Laura again found leisure to write, she was no
longer inclined to make Hargrave her subject, and her friend had
desisted from fruitless inquiries. Mrs Douglas had lately had an
opportunity of judging for herself of the Colonel's attractions; and, so
great did they appear to her, that it was with extreme astonishment she
heard his late disappointment from Captain Montreville, who did not feel
his daughter's delicacy on the subject. This communication only served
to increase her perplexity as to the cause of Laura's depression; yet
she felt herself relieved from the apprehension, that hopeless love for
Hargrave was wasting the health and peace of her dear Laura. Still,
however, she continued to watch that expressive countenance, to weigh
every word that might tend to unfold the enigma. In vain;--Laura
studiously avoided all approach to an explanation. Mrs Douglas's anxiety
now increased to a painful extreme. She felt how necessary to female
inexperience is the advice of a female,--how indispensable to feminine
sorrows are the consolations of feminine sympathy; and she resolved that
no false delicacy should withhold her from offering such relief as she
might have power to bestow.
One morning, after the gentlemen had left them alone together, Mrs
Douglas, meditating on the best means of introducing the subject she had
so much at heart, had fallen into a long silence; when, looking up, she
perceived that Laura had let fall her work, and was sitting with her
eyes fixed, and her arms dropped, in the attitude of one whose thoughts
had no connection with present objects. At the heavy sigh with which Mrs
Douglas surveyed her, she started, and was rousing her attention to some
indifferent subject, when Mrs Douglas, kindly taking her hand, said, 'My
dear child, whatever may be necessary with others, I beseech you to be
under no constraint with me. I am far from wishing to intrude into your
confidence, but do not add the pain of constraint to anguish that
already seems so oppressive.'
Large tears stole from under Laura's downcast eyelids; but she spoke
not. Mrs Douglas continued--'If my best advice, my most affectionate
sympathy, can be of use to you, I need not say you may command them.'
Laura threw herself into the arms of her friend, and for some moments
sobbed with uncontrolled emotion; but soon composing herself, she
replied: 'If advice could have profited, if consolation could have
reached me, where should I have sought them unless from you, respected
friend of my youth;--but the warning voice of wisdom comes now too late,
and even your sympathy would be bestowed in vain.'
'Heaven forbid that my dearest Laura should be beyond the reach of
comfort. That is the lot of guilt alone.'
'I am grateful to Heaven,' said Laura, 'that I have been less guilty
than imprudent. But, my best friend, let us quit this subject. This
wretchedness cannot, shall not last. Only let me implore you not to
notice it to my father. You know not what horrors might be the
consequence.'
Mrs Douglas shook her head. 'Ah! Laura,' said she, 'that path is not the
path of safety in which you would elude a father's eye.' Laura's glance
met that of her friend; and she read suspicion there. The thought was so
painful to her, that she was on the point of disclosing all; but she
remembered that the reasons which had at first determined her to
silence, were not altered by any one's suspicions, and she restrained
herself. Colonel Hargrave had cruelly wronged and insulted her--she
ought therefore to be doubly cautious how she injured him. Sympathy, in
her case, she felt, would be a dangerous indulgence; and, above all, she
shrunk with horror from exposing her lover, or his actions, to
detestation or contempt. 'Perhaps the time may come,' said she, pursuing
her reflections aloud, 'when you will be convinced that I am incapable
of any clandestine purpose. At present your compassion might be a
treacherous balm to me, when my best wisdom must be to forget that I
have need of pity.'
Mrs Douglas looked on the open candid countenance of Laura, and her
suspicions vanished in a moment; but they returned when her young friend
reiterated her intreaties that she would not hint the subject to her
father. Laura was, however, fortified in her resolutions of concealment,
by an opinion she had often heard Mrs Douglas express, that the feelings
of disappointed love should by women be kept inviolably a secret. She
was decisively giving a new turn to the conversation, when it was
interrupted by the entrance of the gentlemen; and Mrs Douglas, a little
hurt at the steadiness of her young friend, more than half determined to
renew the subject no more.
A letter lay on the table, which the post had brought for Captain
Montreville; he read it with visible uneasiness, and immediately left
the room. Laura perceived his emotion; and, ever alive to the painful
subject nearest her heart, instantly concluded that the letter brought a
confession from Hargrave. She heard her father's disordered steps pacing
the apartment above, and earnestly longed, yet feared to join him.
Anxiety at length prevailed; and she timidly approached the door of
Captain Montreville's chamber. She laid her hand upon the lock; paused
again, with failing courage, and was about to retire, when her father
opened the door. 'Come in, my love,' said he, 'I wish to speak with
you.' Laura, trembling, followed him into the room. 'I find,' said he,
'we must shorten our visit to our kind friends here, and travel
homewards, I must prepare,' continued he, and he sighed heavily, 'I must
prepare for a much longer journey.'
Laura's imagination took the alarm; and, forgetting how unlikely it was
that Captain Montreville should disclose such a resolution to her, she
thought only of his intending to prepare for a journey whence there is
no return, before he should stake his life against that of Hargrave. She
had not power to speak; but, laying her hand on her father's arm, she
cast on him a look of imploring agony. 'Do not be alarmed, my love,'
said he: 'I shall, in a few days, convey your commands to London; but I
do not mean to be long absent.'
Laura's heart leapt light. 'To London, Sir?' said she, in a tone of
cheerful inquiry.
'Yes, my dear child; I must go, and leave you alone at home--while yet I
have a home to shelter you. Had you resembled any other girl of your
age, I should have said no more of this--but I will have no concealments
from you. Read this letter.'
It was from Captain Montreville's agent, and briefly stated, that the
merchant in whose hands he had lately vested his all, in an annuity on
his daughter's life, was dead; and that, owing to some informality in
the deed, the heirs refused to make any payment. Having read the letter,
Laura continued for some moments to muse on its contents, with her eyes
vacantly fixed on the civil expression of concern with which it
concluded. 'How merciful it is,' she exclaimed, 'that this blow fell not
till my mother was insensible of the stroke.'
'For myself,' said Captain Montreville, 'I think I could have borne it
well; but this was the little independence I thought I had secured for
you, dear darling of my heart; and now'--The father's lip quivered, and
his eyes filled; but he turned aside, for he could be tender--but
would not seem so.
'Dearest father,' said Laura, 'think not of me. Could you have given me
millions, I should still have been dependent on the care of Providence,
even for my daily bread. My dependence will now only be a little more
perceptible. But perhaps,' added she cheerfully, 'something may be done
to repair this disaster, Warren's heirs will undoubtedly rectify this
mistake, when they find it has been merely accidental. At all events, a
journey to London will amuse you; and I shall manage your harvest so
actively in your absence.'
Captain Montreville had, from Laura's infancy, been accustomed to
witness instances of her fortitude, to see her firm under unmerited and
merciless chastisement, and patient under intense bodily suffering--but
her composure on this occasion, so far surpassed his expectations, that
he was inclined to attribute it less to fortitude than to
inconsideration. 'How light-hearted is youth,' thought he, as he quitted
her. 'This poor child has never seen the harsh features of poverty, but
when distance softened their deformity, and she now beholds his approach
without alarm.' He was mistaken. Laura had often taken a near survey of
poverty. She had entered the cabins of the very poor--seen infancy
squalid, and youth spiritless--manhood exhausted by toil, and age pining
without comfort. In fancy she had substituted herself in the place of
these victims of want; felt by sympathy their varieties of wretchedness;
and she justly considered poverty among the heaviest of human
calamities. But she was sensible that her firmness might support her
father's spirits, or her weakness serve to aggravate his distress; and
she wisely pushed aside the more formidable mischief, which she could
not surmount, to attend to the more immediate evil, which she felt it in
her power to alleviate.
The moment she was alone, Laura fell on her knees: 'Oh! Heavenly
Providence,' she cried, 'save, if it be thy will, my dear father's age
from poverty, though, like my great Master, I should not have where to
lay my head.' She continued to pray long and fervently, for spirits to
cheer her father under his misfortune; and for fortitude to endure her
own peculiar sorrow, in her estimation so much more bitter. Having
implored the blessing of Heaven on her exertions, she next began to
practice them. She wandered out to court the exhilarating influence of
the mountain air; and, studiously turning her attention to all that was
gay, sought to rouse her spirits for the task she had assigned them. She
was so successful, that she was that evening the life of the little
friendly circle. She talked, sang, and recited--she exerted all the wit
and vivacity of which she was mistress--she employed powers of humour
which she herself had scarcely been conscious of possessing. Her gaiety
soon became contagious. Scarcely a trace appeared of the anxious fears
of Mrs Douglas, or the parental uneasiness of Captain Montreville, and
fewer still of the death-stroke which disappointed confidence had
carried to the peace of poor Laura. But, retired to the solitude of her
chamber, her exhausted spirits found relief in tears. She felt, that
long to continue her exertion would be impossible; and, in spite of
reason, which told of the danger of solitude, anticipated, with
pleasure, the moment when total seclusion should leave her free to
undisguised wretchedness.
Laura was not yet, however, destined to the hopeless task of combating
misplaced affection in entire seclusion. On the following morning she
found a stranger at the breakfast-table. He seemed a man of information
and accomplishments. An enthusiast in landscape, he was come to
prosecute his favourite study amidst the picturesque magnificence of
Highland scenery; and the appearance and manners of a gentleman,
furnished him with a sufficient introduction to Highland hospitality.
Relieved, by his presence, from the task of entertaining, Laura scarcely
listened to the conversation, till the stranger, having risen from
table, began to examine a picture which occupied a distinguished place
in Mrs Douglas's parlour. It was the work of Laura, who was no mean
proficient. She had early discovered what is called a genius for
painting; that is to say, she had exercised much of her native
invention, and habitual industry on the art. Captain Montreville added
to his personal instructions, every facility which it was in his power
to bestow. Even when her performances had little in them of wonderful
but their number, her acquaintance pronounced them wonderful; and they
obtained the more useful approbation of a neighbouring nobleman, who
invited her to use, as copies, any part of his excellent collection. Her
progress was now, indeed, marvellous to those who were new to the
effects of unremitting industry, guided by models of exquisite skill.
Having long and sedulously copied, from pieces of acknowledged merit,
she next attempted an original; and having, with great care composed,
and with incredible labour finished her design, she dedicated to Mrs
Douglas the first fruits of her improved talents, in the picture which
the stranger was now contemplating. Willing that her young friend should
reap advantage from the criticisms of a judicious artist, Mrs Douglas
encouraged him to speak freely of the beauties and defects of the piece.
After remarking that there was some skill in the composition, much
interest in the principal figure, and considerable freedom in the
touch, he added: 'If this be, as I suppose, the work of a young artist,
I shall not be surprised that he one day rise both to fame and fortune.'
Mrs Douglas was about to direct his praise to its rightful owner, but
Laura silenced her by a look. The stranger's last expression had excited
an interest which no other earthly subject could have awakened. Her
labours might, it appeared, relieve the wants or increase the comforts
of her father's age; and, with a face that glowed with enthusiasm, and
eyes that sparkled with renovated hope, she eagerly advanced to question
the critic as to the value of her work. In reply, he named a price so
far exceeding her expectations, that her resolution was formed in a
moment. She would accompany her father to London, and there try what
pecuniary advantage was to be derived from her talent. On a scheme which
was to repair all her father's losses, prudence had not time to pause;
and, feeling company rather a restraint on her pleasure, Laura ran to
her apartment, rather to enjoy than to reconsider her plan. Having spent
some time in delighted anticipation of the pleasure which her father
would take in the new team and thrashing-mill with which she would adorn
his farm, and the comfort he would enjoy in the new books and easy sofa
with which her labours would furnish his library, she recollected a
hundred questions that she wished to ask the stranger, concerning the
best means of disposing of her future productions, and she ran down
stairs to renew the conversation--but the parlour was empty, the
stranger was gone. No matter. No trifle could at this moment have
discomposed Laura; and, with steps as light as a heart from which, for a
time, all selfish griefs were banished, she crossed the little lawn in
search of her father.
The moment she overtook him, locking her arm in his, and looking
smilingly up in his face, she began so urgent an entreaty to be admitted
as the companion of his journey, that Captain Montreville, with some
curiosity, inquired what had excited in her this sudden inclination to
travel? Laura blushed and hesitated; for though her plan had, in her own
opinion, all the charms which we usually attribute to the new born
children of our fancy, she felt that an air of more prudence and
forethought might be requisite to render it equally attractive in the
eyes of Captain Montreville. She exerted, however, all the rhetoric she
could at that moment command, to give her scheme a plausible appearance.
With respect to herself, she was entirely successful; and she ventured
to cast a look of triumphant appeal on her father. Captain Montreville,
unwilling to refuse the request of his darling, remained silent; but at
the detail of her plan, he shook his head. Now, to a projector of
eighteen, a shake of the head is, of all gestures, the most offensive;
and the smile which usually accompanies it, miserably perverts the
office of a smile. Tears, half of sorrow, half of vexation, forced their
way to the eyes of Laura; and she walked silently on, without courage to
renew the attack, till they were joined by Mrs Douglas. Disconcerted by
her ill success with her father, Laura felt little inclination to
subject her scheme to the animadversions of her friend; but Captain
Montreville, expecting an auxiliary, by whose aid he might conquer the
weakness of yielding without conviction, called upon Mrs Douglas, in a
manner which shewed him secure of her reply, to give her opinion of
Laura's proposal. Mrs Douglas, who had heard, with a degree of horror,
of the intention to consign Laura to solitude in her present state of
suppressed dejection, and who considered new scenes and new interests as
indispensable to her restoration, interpreting the asking looks of the
fair petitioner, surprised Captain Montreville by a decided verdict in
her favour. Rapturously thanking her advocate, Laura now renewed her
intreaties with such warmth, that her father, not possessed of that
facility in refusing which results from practice, gave a half-reluctant
acquiescence. The delight which his consent conveyed to Laura, which
sparkled in her expressive features, and animated her artless gestures,
converted his half-extorted assent into cordial concurrence; for to the
defects of any scheme that gave her pleasure, he was habitually blind.
In the course of the evening, Captain Montreville announced that, in
order to give his daughter time to prepare for her journey, it would be
necessary for them to return to Glenalbert on the following morning.
While Mrs Douglas was assisting Laura to pack up her little wardrobe,
she attempted to break her guarded silence on the subject of Hargrave,
by saying, 'I doubt this same journey of your's will prevent Colonel
Hargrave from trying the effects of perseverance, which I used to think
the most infallible resort in love, as well as in more serious
undertakings.' Laura began a most diligent search for something upon the
carpet. 'Poor Hargrave,' Mrs Douglas resumed, 'he is a great favourite
of mine. I wish he had been more successful.' Laura continued
industriously cramming a bandbox. 'All these gowns and petticoats will
crush your new bonnet to pieces, my dear.' Laura suddenly desisted from
her employment, rose, and turning full towards Mrs Douglas, said--'It is
unkind, it is cruel, thus to urge me, when you know that duty more than
inclination keeps me silent.' 'Pardon me, my dear Laura,' said Mrs
Douglas, 'I have no wish to persecute you; but you know I was ignorant
that Colonel Hargrave was our interdicted subject.'
She then entered on another topic; and Laura, vexed at the partial
disclosure she had inadvertently made, uneasy at being the object of
constant scrutiny, and hurt at being obliged to thwart the habitual
openness of her temper, felt less sorry than relieved as she sprung into
the carriage that was to convey her to Glenalbert. So true is it, that
concealment is the bane of friendship.
Other interests, too, quickened her desire to return home. She longed,
with a feeling which could not be called hope, though it far exceeded
curiosity, to know whether Hargrave had called or written during her
absence; and the moment the chaise stopped, she flew to the table where
the letters were deposited to wait their return. There were none for
her. She interrupted Nanny's expression of joy at the sight of her
mistress, by asking who had called while they were from home. 'Nobody
but Miss Willis.' Laura's eyes filled with tears of bitterness. 'I am
easily relinquished,' thought she--'but it is better that it should be
so;' and she dashed away the drops as they rose.
She would fain have vented her feelings in the solitude of her chamber;
but this was her father's first return to a widowed home, and she would
not leave him to its loneliness. She entered the parlour. Captain
Montreville was already there; and, cheerfully welcoming him home, she
shook up the cushion of an elbow-chair by the fire-side, and invited him
to sit. 'No, love,' said he, gently compelling her, 'do you take that
seat; it was your mother's.' Laura saw his lip quiver, and, suppressing
the sob that swelled her bosom, she tenderly withdrew him from the room,
led him to the garden, invited his attention to her new-blown
carnations, and gradually diverted his regard to such cheerful objects,
that, had Captain Montreville examined what was passing in his own mind,
he must have confessed that he felt the loss of Lady Harriet less as a
companion than an antagonist. She was more a customary something which
it was unpleasant to miss from its place, than a real want which no
substitute could supply. Laura's conversation, on the contrary, amusing
without effort, ingenious without constraint, and rational without
stiffness, furnished to her father a real and constant source of
enjoyment; because, wholly exempt from all desire to shine, she had
leisure to direct to the more practicable art of pleasing, those efforts
by which so many others vainly attempt to dazzle.
CHAPTER V
The three following days Laura employed in making arrangements for her
journey. Desirous to enliven the solitude in which she was about to
leave her only attendant, she consigned the care of the cottage, during
her absence, to the girl's mother, who was likewise her own nurse; and
cautious of leaving to the temptations of idleness, one for whose
conduct she felt herself in some sort accountable, she allotted to Nanny
the task of making winter clothing for some of the poorest inhabitants
of Glenalbert; a task which her journey prevented her from executing
herself. Nor were the materials of this little charity subtracted from
her father's scanty income, but deducted from comforts exclusively her
own.
Though, in the bustle of preparation, scarcely a moment remained
unoccupied, Laura could not always forbear from starting at the sound of
the knocker, or following with her eyes the form of a horseman winding
through the trees. In vain she looked--in vain she listened. The
expected stranger came not--the expected voice was unheard. She tried to
rejoice at the desertion: 'I am glad of it,' she would say to herself,
while bitter tears were bursting from her eyes. She often reproached
herself with the severity of her language at her last interview with
Hargrave. She asked herself what right she had to embitter
disappointment by unkindness, or to avenge insult by disdain. Her
behaviour appeared to her, in the retrospect, ungentle, unfeminine,
unchristian. Yet she did not for a moment repent her rejection, nor
waver for a moment in her resolution to adhere to it. Her soul sickened
at the thought, that she had been the object of licentious passion
merely; and she loathed to look upon her own lovely form, while she
thought that it had seduced the senses, but failed to touch the soul of
Hargrave.
Amidst these employments and feelings the week had closed; and the
Sabbath evening was the last which Laura was to spend at Glenalbert.
That evening had long been her chosen season of meditation, the village
church-yard the scene where she loved to 'go forth to meditate.' The way
which led to it, and to it alone, was a shady green lane, gay with
veronica and hare-bell, undefaced by wheels, but marked in the middle
with one distinct track, and impressed towards the sides with several
straggling half-formed footpaths. The church itself stood detached from
the village, on a little knoll, on the west side of which the
burial-ground sloped towards the woody bank that bounded a brawling
mountain stream. Thither Laura stole, when the sun, which had been hid
by the rugged hill, again rolling forth from behind the precipitous
ascent, poured through the long dale his rays upon this rustic cemetery;
the only spot in the valley sufficiently elevated to catch his parting
beam.
'How long, how deep is the shadow--how glorious in brightness the
reverse,' said she, as she seated herself under the shade of the newly
raised grave-stone that marked the place of her mother's rest; and
turning her mind's eye from what seemed a world of darkness, she raised
it to scenes of everlasting light. Her fancy, as it soared to regions of
bliss without alloy, looked back with something like disgust on the
labours that were to prepare her for their enjoyment, and a feeling
almost of disappointment and impatience accompanied the recollection,
that her pilgrimage was to all appearance only beginning. But she
checked the feeling as it rose, and, in penitence and resignation,
raised her eyes to heaven. They rested as they fell upon a stone marked
with the name and years of one who died in early youth. Laura remembered
her well--she was the beauty of Glenalbert; but her lover left her for a
richer bride, and her proud spirit sunk beneath the stroke. The village
artist had depicted her want of resignation in a rude sculpture of the
prophet's lamentation over his withered gourd. 'My gourd, too, is
withered,' said Laura. 'Do I well to be angry even unto death? Will the
giver of all good leave me even here without comfort? Shall I refuse to
find pleasure in any duties but such as are of my own selection: Because
the gratification of one passion--one misplaced passion, is refused, has
this world no more to offer? this fair world, which its great Creator
has stamped with his power, and stored by his bounty, and ennobled by
making it the temple of his worshippers, the avenue to heaven! Shall I
find no balm in the consolations of friendship, the endearments of
parental love--no joy in the sweets of benevolence, the stores of
knowledge, the miracles of grace! Oh! may I ever fearlessly confide in
the fatherly care, that snatched me from the precipice from which my
rash confidence was about to plunge me to my ruin--that opened my eyes
on my danger ere retreat was impossible.'
The reflections of Laura were disturbed by the noise of some one
springing over the fence; and, the next moment, Hargrave was at her
side. Laura uttered neither shriek nor exclamation--but she turned; and,
with steps as precipitate as would bear the name of walking, proceeded
towards the gate. Hargrave followed her. 'Am I indeed so happy as to
find you alone?' said he. Laura replied not, by word or look. 'Suffer me
to detain you for a few moments.' Laura rather quickened her pace. 'Will
you not speak to me Miss Montreville?' said Hargrave, in a tone of
tender reproach. Laura continued to advance. 'Stay but one moment,' said
he, in a voice of supplication. Laura laid her hand upon the gate.
Hargrave's patience was exhausted. 'By heaven you shall hear me!' he
cried, and, throwing his arm round her, compelled her to be seated on
the stone-bench at the gate. Laura coldly withdrew herself. 'By what
right, Sir,' said she, 'do you presume to detain me?' 'By the right of
wretchedness--of misery not to be endured. Since I last saw you, I have
never known rest or peace. Surely, Laura, you are now sufficiently
avenged--surely your stubborn pride may now condescend to hear
me.'--'Well, Sir,' said Laura, without attempting to depart; 'what are
your commands?' 'Oh, Laura, I cannot bear your displeasure--it makes me
supremely miserable. If you have any pity, grant me your forgiveness.'
'If my forgiveness is of any value to you, I give it you, I trust, like
a Christian--from the heart. Now, then, suffer me to go.'
'What--think you it is the frozen forgiveness of duty that will content
me? Torn, as I am, by every passion that can drive man to frenzy, think
you that I will accept--that I will endure this heartless, scornful
pardon? Laura, you loved me once. I have doated on you--pined for
you--and passion--passion only--will I accept, or bear from you.'
Laura shrunk trembling from his violence. 'Colonel Hargrave,' said she,
'if you do not restrain this vehemence, I must, I will be gone. I would
fain spare you unnecessary pain; but while you thus agitate yourself, my
stay is useless to you, and to me most distressing.' 'Say, then, that
you accept my vows--that, hopeless of happiness but with me, you bind
yourself to me alone, and for ever. Speak, heavenly creature, and bless
me beyond the fairest dreams of hope!'
'Colonel Hargrave,' said Laura, 'you have my forgiveness. My--what shall
I say--my esteem you have cast from you--my best wishes for your
happiness shall ever be yours--more I cannot give. In pity to yourself,
then--in pity to me--renounce one who can never be yours.'
Hargrave's eyes flashed fire, while his countenance faded to ghastly
paleness. 'Yes;' he exclaimed, 'cold, pitiless, insensible woman--yes I
renounce you. In the haunts of riot, in the roar of intemperance, will I
forget that form, that voice--and, when I am lost to fame, to health, to
usefulness--my ruin be on your soul.' 'Oh! Hargrave,' cried the
trembling Laura, 'talk not so wildly; Heaven will hear my prayers for
you.--Amidst the pursuits of wisdom--amidst the attractions of others,
you will forget me.'
'Forget you! Never. While I have life, I will follow
you--supplicate--persecute you.--Mine you shall be, though infamy and
death ensue. Dare not,' said he, grasping her arm,--'dare not to seek
the protection of another.--Dare but to give him one smile, and his life
shall be the forfeit.'
'Alas! Alas!' cried Laura, wringing her hands in anguish, 'this is real
frenzy. Compose yourself, I implore you--there is no other--there never
can be'--
Her tears recalled Hargrave to something like composure. 'Dearest
Laura,' said he, 'I wish to soften--I only terrify you. Fear not,
beloved of my soul--speak to me without alarm. I will hear you, if it be
possible, with calmness--but say not, oh! say not, that you reject me!'
Laura averted her face. 'Why prolong this distressing interview,' said
she,--'You have heard my determination. I know that it is right, and I
cannot relinquish it.'
The triumph of self-conquest gave firmness to her voice; and Hargrave,
driven again from composure by her self-command, sprang from her side.
'It is well, Madam,' he cried; 'triumph in the destruction of my peace;
but think not I will so tamely resign you. No; by Heaven. I will go this
moment to your father--I will tell him my offence; and ask if he thinks
it deserves such punishment. Let him take my life--I abhor it.'
'Is your promise, then, of such small avail?' said Laura, sternly.
'Shall a promise bind me to a life of wretchedness? Shall I regard the
feelings of one who takes an inhuman pleasure in my sufferings?' At this
moment Laura's eyes fell on her father, who was entering the little
avenue. Hargrave's glance followed hers, and he prepared to join Captain
Montreville. In an agony of terror, Laura grasped his arm. 'Spare me,
spare me,' she said, 'and do with me what you will!' Captain Montreville
saw that the walk was occupied; he turned from it, and Laura had again
time to breathe. 'Say, then,' said Hargrave, softened by her
emotion,--'say that, when years of penitence have atoned my offence, you
will yet be mine.' Laura covered her face with her hands. 'Let me not
hear you--let me not look upon you,' said Laura;--'leave me to think, if
it be possible,'--and she poured a silent prayer to Heaven for help in
this her sorest trial. The effort composed her, and the majesty of
virtue gave dignity to her form, and firmness to her voice, while she
said,--'My father's life is in the hands of Providence--it will still be
so, when I have repeated to you, that I dare not trust to principles
such as yours the guardianship of this the infancy of my being. I dare
not incur certain guilt to escape contingent evil. I cannot make you the
companion of this uncertain life, while your conduct is such, as to make
our eternal separation the object of my dreadful hope.'
Hargrave had trusted that the tenderness of Laura would seduce, or his
ardour overpower her firmness; but he read the expression of her pale
determined countenance, and felt assured that she was lost to him
forever. Convinced that all appeal to her feelings would be hopeless, he
would deign to make none; but in a voice made almost inarticulate by the
struggle of pride and anguish, he said,--'Miss Montreville, your
father's life is safe from me--I will not lift my hand against it. That
he should take mine is of small importance, either to you or myself. A
violent death,' continued he, his pale lip quivering with a smile of
bitterness,--'may perhaps procure me your tardy pity.'
From the storm of passion, Laura had shrunk with terror and dismay; but
the voice of suppressed anguish struck her to the soul. 'Oh! Hargrave,'
she cried, with tears no longer to be restrained, 'you have my tenderest
pity--would to Heaven that the purity of your future life would restore
me to the happiness of esteeming you!'
Laura's tenderness revived, in a moment, the hopes of Hargrave. 'Angel
of sweetness,' he exclaimed, 'mould me to your will--say that, when
purified by years of repentance, you will again bless me with your love;
and no exertion will be too severe--no virtue too arduous.'
'No; this I dare not promise; let a higher motive influence you; for it
is not merely the conduct--it is the heart that must have changed, ere I
durst expose my feeble virtue to the trial of your example--your
authority; ere I durst make it my duty to shut my eyes against your
faults, or to see them with the indulgence of love.'
'Dearest Laura, one word from you will lure me back to the path of
virtue--will you wilfully destroy even the wish to return. If for a
year--for two years--my conduct should bear the strictest scrutiny--will
you not accept this as a proof that my heart is changed--changed in
every thing but its love for you--will you not then receive me?'
Laura had resisted entreaty--had withstood alarm--had conquered strong
affection; but the hope of rousing Hargrave to the views, the pursuits,
the habits of a Christian, betrayed her caution, and gladdened her heart
to rapture. 'If for two years,' said she, her youthful countenance
brightening with delight, 'your conduct is such as you describe--if it
will bear the inspection of the wise, of the sober-minded, of the
pious,--as my father's friend, as my own friend, will I welcome you.'
Thus suddenly raised from despair, Hargrave seemed at the summit of
felicity. Once admitted as her 'father's friend, as her own,' he was
secure of the accomplishment of his wishes. The time that must first
elapse, appeared to him but a moment; and the labours of duty required
of him seemed a smiling dream. Love and joy animated every feature of
his fine countenance; he threw himself at the feet of Laura, and
rapturously blessed her for her condescension. His extasies first made
her sensible of the extent of her concession; and she feared that she
had gone too far. But with her, a promise, however inadvertent, was a
sacred thing, which she would neither qualify nor retract. She contented
herself, therefore, with merely repeating the terms of it, emphatically
guarding the conditions. Desirous now to have leisure for reflection,
she reminded him that the lateness of the hour made it fit that he
should depart; and, inwardly persuaded that she would not long
obdurately refuse him another interview, he obeyed without much
opposition.
CHAPTER VI
The lovers were no sooner parted, than Hargrave began to repent that he
had not more distinctly ascertained the kind and manner of the
intercourse which he was to hold with his mistress during the term of
his probation; and though he had little fear that she would be very
rigid, he considered this as a point of such importance, that he
resolved not to quit Glenalbert without having the matter settled to his
satisfaction. For this reason he condescended to accept the
accommodations of the little straw-roofed cottage, by courtesy called
the Inn, where he had already left his horse; and thither he retired
accordingly, not without some national misgivings of mind on the subject
of Scotish nastiness and its consequences. His apartment, however,
though small, was decent, his bed was clean, his sleep refreshing, and
his dreams pleasant; nor was it till a late hour the following morning,
that he rose to the homely comfort, and clumsy abundance of a Highland
breakfast. As soon as he had finished his repast, he walked towards
Montreville's cottage, ostensibly to pay his respects to the Captain,
but, in reality, with the hope of obtaining a private interview with
Laura. He entered the garden, where he expected to find Captain
Montreville. It was empty. He approached the house. The shutters were
barred. He knocked at the door, which was opened by the old woman; and,
on inquiring for Captain Montreville, he was answered, 'Wow, Sir, him
an' Miss Laura's awa' at six o'clock this morning.' 'Away,' repeated the
Colonel,--'Where are they gone?' 'To London, Sir; and I'm sure a lanely
time we'll hae till they come hame again.' 'What stay do they intend
making?' 'Hech, Sir, I dare say that's what they dinna ken themsels.'
'What is their address?' inquired the Colonel. 'What's your will, Sir:'
'Where are they to be found?' 'Am'n I tellan you they're in London, Sir.
I'm sure ye ken whar that is?' 'But how are you to send their letters?'
'Wow! they never got mony letters but frae England; and now 'at they're
in London, ye ken the folk may gie them into their ain hand.' 'But
suppose you should have occasion to write to them yourself?' said
Hargrave, whose small stock of patience wore fast to a close. 'Hech,
Sir, sorrow a scrape can I write. They learn a' thae newfangled things
now; but, trouth, i' my young days, we were na' sae upsettan.' Hargrave
was in no humour to canvas the merits of the different modes of
education; and, muttering an ejaculation, in which the word devil was
distinctly audible, he turned away.
Vexed and disappointed, he wandered down the churchyard-lane, and
reached the spot where he had last seen Laura. He threw himself on the
seat that had supported her graceful form--called to mind her consummate
loveliness--her ill-repressed tenderness--and most cordially consigned
himself to Satan for neglecting to wring from her some further
concessions. She was now removed from the solitude where he had reigned
without a rival. Her's would be the gaze of every eye--her's the command
of every heart. 'She may soon choose among numbers,' cried he,--'she
will meet with people of her own humour, and some canting hypocritical
scoundrel will drive me completely from her mind.' By the time he had
uttered this prediction, and bit his lip half through--he was some steps
on his way to order his horses, that he might pursue his fair fugitive,
in the hope of extorting from her some less equivocal kind of promise.
Fortunately for his reputation for sanity, however, he recollected,
before he began his pursuit, that, ere he could overtake her, Laura must
have reached Edinburgh, where, without a direction, it might be
difficult to discover her abode. In this dilemma, he was again obliged
to have recourse to the old woman at the cottage; but she could give him
no information. She neither knew how long Captain Montreville purposed
remaining in Edinburgh, nor in what part of the town he intended to
reside.
Thus baffled in his inquiries, Hargrave was convinced that his pursuit
must be ineffectual; and, in no very placid frame of mind, he changed
his destination from Edinburgh to his quarters. He arrived there in time
for a late dinner, but his wine was insipid, his companions tiresome;
and he retired early, that, early next morning, he might set out on a
visit to Mrs Douglas, from whom he purposed to learn Captain
Montreville's address.
On comparing the suppressed melancholy of Laura, her embarrassment at
the mention of Hargrave, and her inadvertent disclosure, with her
father's detail of her rejection of the insinuating young soldier, a
suspicion not very remote from truth, had entered the mind of Mrs
Douglas. She imagined that Captain Montreville had in some way been
deceived as to the kind of proposals made to his daughter; and that
Laura had rejected no offers but such as it would have been infamy to
accept. Under this conviction, it is not surprising that her reception
of the Colonel was far from being cordial; nor that, guessing his
correspondence to be rather intended for the young lady than for the old
gentleman, she chose to afford no facility to an intercourse which she
considered as both dangerous and degrading. To Hargrave's questions,
therefore, she answered, that until she should hear from London, she was
ignorant of Captain Montreville's address; and that the time of his
return was utterly unknown to her. When the Colonel, with the same
intention, soon after repeated his visit, she quietly, but steadily,
evaded all his inquiries, equally unmoved by his entreaties, and the
paroxysms of impatience with which he endured his disappointment.
Hargrave was the only child of a widow--an easy, indolent, good sort of
woman, who would gladly have seen him become every thing that man ought
to be, provided she could have accomplished this laudable desire without
recourse to such harsh instruments as contradiction and restraint. But
of these she disliked the use, as much as her son did the endurance: and
thus the young gentleman was educated, or rather grew up, without the
slightest acquaintance of either. Of consequence, his naturally warm
temper became violent, and his constitutionally strong passions
ungovernable.
Hargrave was the undoubted heir of a title, and of a fine estate. Of
money he had never felt the want, and did not know the value; he was,
therefore, so far as money was concerned, generous even to profusion.
His abilities were naturally of the highest order. To force him to the
improvement of them, was an effort above the power of Mrs Hargrave; but,
fortunately for him, ere his habits of mental inaction were
irremediable, a tedious illness confined him to recreations in which
mind had some share, however small. During the interdiction of bats and
balls, he, by accident, stumbled on a volume of Peregrine Pickle, which
he devoured with great eagerness; and his mother, delighted with what
she was pleased to call a turn for reading, took care that this new
appetite should not, any more than the old ones, pine for want of
gratification. To direct it to food wholesome and invigorating, would
have required unremitting though gentle labour: and to labour of all
kinds Mrs Hargrave had a practical antipathy. But it was very easy to
supply the young man with romances, poetry, and plays; and it was
pleasing to mistake their intoxicating effect for the bursts of mental
vigour. A taste for works of fiction, once firmly established, never
after yielded to the attractions of sober truth; and, though his
knowledge of history was neither accurate nor extensive, Hargrave could
boast of an intimate acquaintance with all the plays, with almost all
the poetry, and as far as it is attainable by human diligence, with all
the myriads of romances in his mother tongue. He had chosen, of his own
free-will, to study the art of playing on the flute; the violin
requiring more patience than he had to bestow; and emulation, which
failed to incite him to more useful pursuits, induced him to try whether
he could not draw as well as his play-fellow, De Courcy. At the age of
seventeen he had entered the army. As he was of good family, of an
elegant figure, and furnished by nature with one of the finest
countenances she ever formed, his company was courted in the highest
circles, and to the ladies he was particularly acceptable. Among such
associates, his manners acquired a high polish; and he improved in what
is called knowledge of the world; that is, a facility of discovering,
and a dexterity in managing the weaknesses of others. One year--one
tedious year, his regiment had been quartered in the neighbourhood of
the retirement where the afore-said De Courcy was improving his 'few
paternal acres;' and, partly by his persuasion and example, partly from
having little else to do, partly because it was the fashionable science
of the day, Hargrave had prosecuted the study of chemistry. Thus have we
detailed, and in some measure accounted for, the whole of Colonel
Hargrave's accomplishments, excepting only, perhaps, the one in which he
most excelled--he danced inimitably. For the rest, he had what is called
a good heart; that is, he disliked to witness or inflict pain, except
from some incitement stronger than advantage to the sufferer. His fine
eyes had been seen to fill with tears at a tale of elegant distress;
he could even compassionate the more vulgar sorrows of cold and hunger
to the extent of relieving them, provided always that the relief cost
nothing but money. Some casual instances of his feeling, and of his
charity, had fallen under the observation of Laura; and upon these, upon
the fascination of his manners, and the expression of his countenance,
her fervid imagination had grafted every virtue that can exalt or adorn
humanity. Gentle reader, excuse the delusion. Laura was only
seventeen--Hargrave was the first handsome man of fashion she had ever
known, the first who had ever poured into her ear the soothing voice of
love.
Unprepared to find, in an obscure village in Scotland, the most perfect
model of dignified loveliness, Hargrave became the sudden captive of her
charms; and her manner, so void of all design,--the energy--the
sometimes wild poetic grace of her language--the shrewdness with which
she detected, and the simplicity with which she unveiled, the latent
motives of action, whether in herself or in others, struck him with all
the force of contrast, as he compared them with the moulded artificial
standard of the day. His interest in her was the strongest he had ever
felt, even before it was heightened by a reserve that came too late to
repress or conceal the tenderness with which she repaid his passion. Yet
Hargrave was not less insensible to the real charms of Laura's mind,
than she was unconscious of the defects in his. Her benevolence pleased
him; for bright eyes look brighter through tears of sympathy, and no
smile is so lovely as that which shines on the joys of others. Her
modesty charmed him; for every voluptuary can tell what allurements
blushes add to beauty. But of her self-denial and humility he made no
account. Her piety, never obtruded on his notice, had at first escaped
his observation altogether; and, now that it thwarted his favourite
pursuit, he considered it merely as a troublesome prejudice. Of all her
valuable qualities, her unfailing sweetness of temper was perhaps the
only one that he valued for its own sake. But her person he idolized. To
obtain her no exertion would have appeared too formidable; and,
remembering the conditions of their future reconciliation, he began, for
the first time in his life, to consider his conduct with a view to its
moral fitness.
This he found a subject of inextricable difficulty. He was ignorant of
the standard by which Laura would judge him. He was willing to believe
that, if she were left to herself, it would not be severe; but the words
of her promise seemed to imply, that his conduct was to be subjected to
the scrutiny of less partial censors, and he felt some anxiety to know
who were to be his 'wise,' 'sober-minded,' 'pious' inspectors. He did
not game, his expences did not much exceed his income, therefore he
could imagine no change in his deportment necessary to conciliate the
'wise.' Though, under the name of sociality, he indulged freely in wine,
he seldom exceeded to intoxication. Here again reform seemed needless.
But, that he might give no offence to the 'sober-minded,' he intended to
conduct his indispensable gallantries with great discretion, he
determined to refrain from all approach to seduction, and magnanimously
resolved to abstain from the molestation of innocent country-girls and
decent maid-servants. Finally, to secure the favour of the 'pious,' he
forthwith made a purchase of Blair's sermons, and resolved to be seen in
Church once at least every Sunday.
It might be supposed, that when the scale of duty which we trace is low,
we should be more likely to reach the little eminence at which we
aspire; but experience shews us, that they who poorly circumscribe the
Christian race, stop as much short of their humble design, as does he of
his nobler purpose, whose glorious goal is perfection. The sequel will
show the attainments of Colonel Hargrave in the ways of virtue. In the
meantime his magnet of attraction to Perthshire was gone; he soon began
to grow weary of the feeling of restraint, occasioned by supposing
himself the subject of a system of espionage; and to kill the time,
and relieve himself from his imaginary shackles, he sought the
assistance of the Edinburgh races; determined, that if Laura prolonged
her stay in London, he would obtain leave of absence, and seek her
there.
CHAPTER VII
The grey lights of morning shone mild on Glenalbert, as the carriage,
which was conveying Laura to scenes unknown, wound slowly up the hill.
With watery eyes she looked back on the quiet beauties of her native
valley. She listened to the dashing of its stream, till the murmur died
on her ear. Her lowly home soon glided behind the woods; but its early
smoke rose peaceful from amidst its sheltering oaks, till it blended
with the mists of morning; and Laura gazed on it as on the parting steps
of a friend. 'Oh, vales!' she exclaimed, 'where my childhood
sported--mountains that have echoed to my songs of praise, amidst your
shades may my age find shelter--may your wild-flowers bloom on my
grave!'--Captain Montreville pressed the fair enthusiast to his breast
and smiled. It was a smile of pity--for Montreville's days of enthusiasm
were past. It was a smile of pleasure--for we love to look upon the
transcript of our early feelings. But, whatever it expressed, it was
discord with the tone of Laura's mind. It struck cold on her glowing
heart; and she carefully avoided uttering a word that might call forth
such another, till, bright gleaming in the setting sun, she first beheld
romantic Edinburgh. 'Is it not glorious!' she cried, tears of wonder and
delight glittering in her eyes, and she longed for its re-appearance,
when the descent of the little eminence which had favoured their view,
excluded the city from their sight.
As the travellers approached the town, Laura, whose attention was
rivetted by the castle and its rocks, now frowning majestic in the
shades of twilight, and by the antique piles that seemed the work of
giants, scarcely bestowed a glance on the neat row of modern buildings
along which she was passing, and she was sorry when the carriage turned
from the objects of her admiration towards the hotel where Captain
Montreville intended to lodge.
Next morning, Laura, eager to renew the pleasure of the evening,
proposed a walk; not without some dread of encountering the crowd which
she expected to find in such a city. Of this crowd, she had, indeed,
seen nothing the night before; but she concluded, ere that she reached
town, most of the inhabitants had soberly retired to rest. At the season
of the year, however, when Laura reached Edinburgh, she had little cause
for apprehension. The noble streets through which she passed had the
appearance of being depopulated by pestilence. The houses were
uninhabited, the window-shutters were closed, and the grass grew from
the crevices of the pavement. The few well-dressed people whom she saw,
stared upon her with such oppressive curiosity, as gave the uninitiated
Laura a serious uneasiness. At first she thought that some peculiarity
in her dress occasioned this embarrassing scrutiny. But her dress was
simple mourning, and its form the least conspicuous possible. She next
imagined, that to her rather unusual stature she owed this unenviable
notice; and, with a little displeasure, she remarked to her father, that
it argued a strange want of delicacy to appear to notice the
peculiarities of any one's figure; and that, in this respect, the upper
ranks seemed more destitute of politeness than their inferiors. Captain
Montreville answered, with a smile, that he did not think it was her
height which drew such attention. 'Well,' said she, with great
simplicity, 'I must endeavour to find food for my vanity in this notice,
though it is rather against my doing so, that the women stare more
tremendously than the gentlemen.'
As they passed the magnificent shops, the windows, gay with every
variety of colour, constantly attracted Laura's inexperienced eye; and
she asked Montreville to accompany her into one where she wished to
purchase some necessary trifle. The shopman observing her attention
fixed on a box of artificial flowers, spread them before her; and tried
to invite her to purchase, by extolling the cheapness and beauty of his
goods. 'Here is a charming sprig of myrtle, ma'am; and here is a
geranium-wreath, the most becoming thing for the hair--only seven
shillings each, ma'am.' Laura owned the flowers were beautiful. 'But I
fear,' said she, looking compassionately at the man, 'you will never be
able to sell them all. There are so few people who would give seven
shillings for what is of no use whatever.' 'I am really sorry for that
poor young man,' said she to her father, when they left the shop. 'Tall,
robust, in the very flower of his age, how he must feel humbled by
being obliged to attend to such trumpery?' 'Why is your pity confined to
him?' said Montreville. 'There were several others in the same
situation.' 'Oh! but they were children, and may do something better by
and by. But the tall one, I suppose, is the son of some weak mother, who
fears to trust him to fight his country's battles. It is hard that she
should have power to compel him to such degradation; I really felt for
him when he twirled those flowers between his finger and thumb, and
looked so much in earnest about nothing.' The next thing which drew
Laura's attention was a stay-maker's sign. 'Do the gentlemen here wear
corsets?' said she to Montreville. 'Not many of them, I believe,' said
Montreville. 'What makes you inquire?' 'Because there is a man
opposite who makes corsets. It cannot surely be for women.'
Captain Montreville had only one female acquaintance in Edinburgh, a
lady of some fashion, and hearing that she was come to town to remain
till after the races, he that forenoon carried Laura to wait upon her.
The lady received them most graciously, inquired how long they intended
to stay in Edinburgh; and on being answered that they were to leave it
in two days, overwhelmed them with regrets, that the shortness of their
stay precluded her from the pleasure of their company for a longer
visit. Laura regretted it too; but utterly ignorant of the time which
must elapse between a fashionable invitation and the consequent visit,
she could not help wondering whether the lady was really engaged for
each of the four daily meals of two succeeding days.
These days, Captain Montreville and his daughter passed in examining
this picturesque city--its public libraries, its antique castle, its
forsaken palace, and its splendid scenery. But nothing in its singular
environs more charmed the eye of Laura than one deserted walk, where,
though the noise of multitudes stole softened on the ear, scarcely a
trace of human existence was visible, except the ruin of a little chapel
which peeped fancifully from the ledge of a rock, and reminded her of
the antick gambols of the red deer on her native hills, when, from the
brink of the precipice, they look fearless into the dell below. Captain
Montreville next conducted his daughter to the top of the fantastic
mountain that adorns the immediate neighbourhood of Edinburgh, and
triumphantly demanded whether she had ever seen such a prospect. But
Laura was by no means disposed to let Perthshire yield the palm to
Lowland scenery. Here indeed, the prospect was varied and extensive, but
the objects were too various, too distant, too gay--they glared on the
eye--the interest was lost. The serpentine corn-ridges, offensive to
agricultural skill; the school, with its well frequented Gean-tree; the
bright green clover fields, seen at intervals through the oak coppice;
the church, half hid by its venerable ash trees; the feathery birch,
trembling in the breath of evening; the smoking hamlet, its soft colours
blending with those of the rocks that sheltered it; the rill, dashing
with fairy anger in the channel which its winter fury had
furrowed--these were the simple objects which had charms for Laura, not
to be rivalled by neat enclosures and whitened villas. Yet the scenes
before her were delightful, and had not Captain Montreville's appeal
recalled the comparison, she would, in the pleasure which they excited,
have forgotten the less splendid beauties of Glenalbert.
Montreville pointed out the road that led to England. Laura sent a
longing look towards it, as it wound amid woods and villages and gentle
swells, and was lost to the eye in a country which smiled rich and
inviting from afar. She turned her eyes where the Forth is lost in the
boundless ocean, and sighed as she thought of the perils and hardships
of them who go down to the sea in ships. Montreville, unwilling to
subject her to the inconveniencies of a voyage, had proposed to continue
his journey by land, and Laura herself could not think without
reluctance of tempting the faithless deep. The scenery, too, which a
journey promised to present, glowed in her fervid imagination with more
than nature's beauty. Yet feeling the necessity of rigid economy, and
determined not to permit her too indulgent parent to consult her
accommodation at the expence of his prudence, she it was, who persuaded
Montreville to prefer a passage by sea, as the mode of conveyance best
suited to his finances.
The next day our travellers embarked for London. The weather was fine,
and Laura remained all day upon deck, amused with the novelty of her
situation. Till she left her native solitude, she had never even seen
the sea, except, when from a mountain top, it seemed far off to mingle
with the sky; and to her, the majestic Forth, as it widened into an
estuary, seemed itself a 'world of waters.' But when on one side the
land receded from the view, when the great deep lay before her, Laura
looked upon it for a moment, and shuddering, turned away. 'It is too
mournful,' said she to her father--'were there but one spot, however
small, however dimly descried, which fancy might people with beings like
ourselves, I could look with pleasure on the gulf between--but here
there is no resting place. Thus dismal, thus overpowering, methinks
eternity would have appeared, had not a haven of rest been made known to
us.' Compared with the boundless expanse of waters, the little bark in
which she was floating seemed 'diminished to a point;' and Laura raising
her eyes to the stars that were beginning to glimmer through the
twilight, thought that such a speck was the wide world itself, amid the
immeasurable space in which it rolled. This was Laura's hour of prayer,
and far less inviting circumstances can recal us to the acts of a
settled habit.
Five days they glided smoothly along the coast. On the morning of the
sixth, they entered the river, and the same evening reached London.
Laura listened with something like dismay, to the mingled discord that
now burst upon her ear. The thundering of loaded carriages, the wild
cries of the sailors, the strange dialect, the ferocious oaths of the
populace, seemed but parts of the deafening tumult. When they were
seated in the coach which was to convey them from the quay, Laura begged
her father to prevail on the driver to wait till the unusual concourse
of carts and sledges should pass, and heard with astonishment that the
delay would be in vain. At last they arrived at the inn where Captain
Montreville intended to remain till he could find lodgings; and, to
Laura's great surprise, they completed their journey without being
jostled by any carriages, or overturned by any waggoner--for ought she
knew, without running over any children.
Being shown into a front parlour, Laura seated herself at a window, to
contemplate the busy multitudes that thronged the streets; and she could
not help contrasting their number and appearance with those of the
inhabitants of Edinburgh. There the loitering step, the gay attire, the
vacant look, or the inquisitive glance, told that mere amusement was the
object of their walk, if indeed it had an object. Here, every face was
full of business--none stared, none sauntered, or had indeed the power
to saunter, the double tide carrying them resistlessly along in one
direction or the other. Among all the varieties of feature that passed
before her, Laura saw not one familiar countenance; and she
involuntarily pressed closer to her father, while she thought, that
among these myriads she should, but for him, be alone.
Captain Montreville easily found an abode suited to his humble
circumstances; and, the day after his arrival, he removed with his
daughter to the second floor above a shop in Holborn. The landlady was
a widow, a decent orderly-looking person; the apartments, though far
from elegant, were clean and commodious. They consisted of a parlour,
two bedchambers, and a small room, or rather closet, which Laura
immediately appropriated as her painting-room. Here she found amusement
in arranging the materials of her art, while Captain Montreville walked
to the west end of the town, to confer with his agent on the unfortunate
cause of his visit to London. He was absent for some hours; and Laura,
utterly ignorant of the length of his walk, and of its difficulties for
one who had not seen the metropolis for twenty years, began to be uneasy
at his stay. He returned at last, fatigued and dispirited, without
having seen Mr Baynard, who was indisposed, and could not admit him.
After a silent dinner, he threw himself upon a sofa, and dismissed his
daughter, saying that he felt inclined to sleep. Laura took this
opportunity to write to Mrs Douglas a particular account of her travels.
She mentioned with affectionate interest some of her few acquaintances
at Glenalbert, and inquired for all the individuals of Mrs Douglas's
family; but the name of Hargrave did not once occur in her letter,
though nothing could exceed her curiosity to know how the Colonel had
borne her departure, of which, afraid of his vehemence, she had, at
their last interview, purposely avoided to inform him.
Having finished her letter, Laura, that she might not appear to repress
civility, availed herself of her landlady's invitation to 'come now and
then,' as she expressed it, 'to have a chat;' and descended to the
parlour below. On perceiving that Mrs Dawkins was busily arranging the
tea equipage, with an air that showed she expected company, Laura would
have retreated, but her hostess would not suffer her to go. 'No, no,
Miss,' said she, 'I expects nobody but my daughter Kate, as is married
to Mr Jones the haberdasher; and you mustn't go, for she can tell you
all about Scotland; and it is but natural to think that you'd like to
hear about your own country, now when you're in a foreign land, as a
body may say.'
The good woman had judged well in the bribe she offered to her guest,
who immediately consented to join her party; and who, perceiving that
Mrs Dawkins was industriously spreading innumerable slices of bread and
butter, courteously offered to share her toils. Mrs Dawkins thanked her,
and accepted her services, adding, 'indeed it's very hard as I should
have all them here things to do myself, when I have a grown up daughter
in the house. But, poor thing, it a'n't her fault after all, for she
never was larnt to do nothing of use.' 'That was very unfortunate,'
said Laura. 'Yes, but it might'nt have been so misfortunate neither,
only, you see, I'll tell you how it was. My sister, Mrs Smith, had a
matter of 10,000 left her by her husband, and so she took a fancy when
July was born as she'd have her called a grand name; and I'm sure an
unlucky name it was for her; for many a fine freak it has put into her
head. Well, and so as I was saying, she took July home to herself, and
had her larnt to paint, and to make fillagree, and play on the piano,
and what not; and to be sure we thought she would never do less than
provide for her. But what do you think, why, two year's ago, she ran
away with a young ensign, as had nothing in the varsal world but his
pay; and so July came home just as she went; and what was worst of all,
she could'nt do no more in the shop nor the day she was born.'
'That was hard, indeed,' said Laura.
'Wasn't it now,--but one comfort was, I had Kate brought up in another
guess-way; for I larnt her plain work and writing, and how to cast
accounts; and never let her touch a book, except the prayer-book
a-Sundays; and see what's the upshot on't. Why, though July's all to
nothing the prettiest, nobody has never made an offer for she, and
Kate's got married to a warm man as any in his line hereabouts, and a
man as has a house not ten doors off; and besides, as snug a box in the
country as ever you seed,--so convenient you've no idear. Why, I dare
say, there's a matter of ten stage-coaches pass by the door every day.'
To all this family history, Laura listened with great patience,
wondering, however, what could induce the narrator to take so much
trouble for the information of a stranger.
The conversation, if it deserves the name, was now interrupted by the
entrance of a young woman, whom Mrs Dawkins introduced as her daughter
July. Her figure was short, inclining to embonpoint--her face, though
rather pretty, round and rosy,--and her whole appearance seemed the
antipodes of sentiment. She had, however, a book in her hand, on which,
after exchanging compliments with Laura, she cast a languishing look,
and said, 'I have been paying a watery tribute to the sorrows of my fair
name-sake.' Then pointing out the title-page to Laura, she added, 'You,
I suppose, have often done so.'
It was the tragedy of THE MINISTER, and Laura, reading the name aloud,
said, she was not acquainted with it.
'Oh,' cried Mrs Dawkins, 'that's the young woman as swears so horridly.
No, I dares to say, Miss Montreville never read no such thing. If it
an't a shame to be seen in a Christian woman hands, it is. And if she
would read it by herself, it would be nothing; but there she goes,
ranting about the house like an actress, cursing all aloud, worser nor
the drunken apple-woman at the corner of the street.'
'Pray Mamma, forbear,' said Miss Julia Dawkins, in a plaintive tone; 'it
wounds my feelings to hear you. I am sure, if Miss Montreville would
read this play, she would own that the expressions which you austerely
denominate curses, give irresistible energy to the language.'
'This kind of energy,' said Laura, with a smile, 'has at least the merit
of being very generally attainable.' This remark was not in Miss Julia's
line. She had, therefore, recourse to her book, and with great variety
of grimace, read aloud one of Casimir's impassioned, or, as Laura
thought, frantic speeches. The curious contrast of the reader's manner,
with her appearance, of the affected sentimentality of her air, with the
robust vulgarity of her figure, struck Laura as so irresistibly
ludicrous, that, though of all young ladies, she was the least addicted
to tittering, her politeness would have been fairly defeated in the
struggle, had it not been reinforced by the entrance of Mr and Mrs
Jones. The former was a little man, in a snuff-coloured coat, and a
brown wig, who seemed to be about fifty,--the latter was a good-humoured
commonplace looking woman, of about half that age. Laura was pleased
with the cordiality with which Mr Jones shook his mother-in-law by the
hand, saying, 'Well, Mother, I's brought you Kate pure and hearty again,
and the little fellow is fine and well, tho'f he be too young to come a
wisiting.'
As soon as the commotion occasioned by their entrance was over, and
Laura formally made acquainted with the lady, Mrs Dawkins began, 'I
hopes, Kate, you ha'nt forgot how to tell about your jaunt to Scotland;
for this here young lady staid tea just o'purpose to hear it.' 'Oh, that
I ha'nt,' said Mrs Jones, 'I'm sure I shall remember it the longest day
I have to live.' 'Pray Miss,' added she, turning to Laura, 'was you ever
in Glasgow?' 'Never,' said Laura; 'but I have heard that it is a fine
city.' 'Ay, but I've been there first and last eleven days; and I can
say for it, it is really a handsome town, and a mort of good white-stone
houses in it. For you see, when Mr Jones married me, he had not been
altogether satisfied with his rider, and he thoft as he'd go down to
Glasgow himself and do business; and that he'd make it do for his
wedding jaunt, and that would be killing two dogs with one stone.'
'That was certainly an excellent plan,' said Laura. 'Well,' continued
Mrs Jones, 'when we'd been about a week in Glasgow, we were had to dine
one day with Mr Mactavish, as supplies Mr Jones with ginghams; and he
talked about some grand house of one of your Scotch dukes, and said as
how we must'nt go home without seeing it. So we thought since we had
come so far, we might as well see what was to be seen.' 'Certainly,'
said Laura, at the pause which was made to take breath, and receive
approbation. 'Well, we went down along the river, which, to say truth,
is very pretty, tho'f it be not turfed, nor kept neat round the edges,
to a place they call Dumbarton; where there is a rock, for all the
world, like an ill-made sugar loaf, with a slice out o' the middle on't;
and they told us there was a castle on it, but such a castle!' 'Pray,
sister,' said Miss Julia, 'have you an accurate idea of what constitutes
a castle? of the keeps, the turrets, the winding staircases, and the
portcullis?' 'Bless you, my dear,' returned the traveller, 'ha'nt I seen
Windsor Castle, and t'other's no more like it--no more than nothing at
all. Howsoever, we slept that night at a very decent sort of an inn; and
Mr Jones thought as we were so comfortable, we had best come back to
sleep. So as the duke's house was but thirty miles off, we thought if we
set off soon in the morning, we might get back at night. So off we set,
and went two stages to breakfast, at a place with one of their
outlandish names; and to be sartain, when we got there, we were as
hungry as hounds. Well, we called for hot rolls; and, do but think,
there was'nt no such thing to be had for love or money.'
Mrs Jones paused to give Laura time for the expression of pity; but she
remained silent, and Mrs Jones resumed: 'Well, they brought us a loaf as
old as St Paul's, and some good enough butter; so thinks I, I'll make us
some good warm toast; for I loves to make the best of a bad bargain. So
I bid the waiter bring us the toast-stool; but if you had seen how he
stared,--why, the pore fellor had never heard of no such thing in his
life. Then they shewed us a huge mountain, as black as a sootbag, just
opposite the window, and said as we must go up there; but, thinks I,
catch us at that; for if we be so bad off here for breakfast, what shall
we be there for dinner. So my husband and I were of a mind upon it, to
get back to Glasgow as fast as we could; for, though to be sure it cost
us a power of money coming down, yet, thinks we, the first loss is the
best.'
'What would I have given,' cried Miss Julia, turning up the whites of
her eyes, 'to have been permitted to mingle my sighs with the mountain
breezes!' Mrs Jones was accustomed to her sister's nonsense, and she
only shrugged her shoulders. But Mrs Dawkins, provoked that her daughter
should be so much more than usually ridiculous before a stranger, said,
'Why, child, how can you be so silly,--what in the world should you do
sighing o' top of a Scotch hill? I dare to say, if you were there you
might sigh long enough before you'd find such a comfortable cup of tea,
as what you have in your hand.' Miss Julia disdained reply; but turning
to our heroine, she addressed her in a tone so amusingly sentimental,
that Laura feared to listen to the purport of her speech, lest the
manner and the matter united should prove too much for her gravity; and
rising, she apologized for retiring, by saying, that she heard her
father stir, and that she must attend him.
When two people of very different ages meet tte  tte in a room, where
they are not thoroughly domesticated,--where there are no books, no
musical instruments, nor even that grand bond of sociality, a fire,--it
requires no common invention and vivacity to pass an evening with
tolerable cheerfulness. The little appearances of discomfort, however,
which imperceptibly lower the spirits of others, had generally an
opposite effect upon those of Laura. Attentive to the comfort of every
human being who approached her, she was always the first to discover the
existence and cause of the 'petty miseries of life;'--but, accustomed to
consider them merely as calls to exertion, they made not the slightest
impression on her spirits or temper. The moment she cast her eyes on her
father, leaning on a table, where stood a pair of candles, that but
half-lighted the room; and on the chimney, where faded fennel occupied
the place of a fire, she perceived that all her efforts would be
necessary to produce any thing like comfort. She began her operations,
by enticing her father out of the large vacant room, into the small one,
where she intended to work. Here she prepared his coffee, gave him
account of the party below stairs, read to him her letter to Mrs
Douglas, and did and said every thing she could imagine to amuse him.
When the efforts to entertain are entirely on one side, it is scarcely
in human nature to continue them; and Laura was beginning to feel very
blank, when it luckily occurred to her, that she had brought her little
chess-board from Glenalbert. Away she flew, and in triumph produced this
infallible resort. The match was pretty equal. Captain Montreville had
more skill, Laura more resource; and she defended herself long and
keenly. At last she was within a move of being checkmated. But the move
was hers; and the Captain, in the heat of victory, overlooked a step by
which the fortune of the game would have been reversed. Laura saw it,
and eagerly extended her hand to the piece; but recollecting that there
is something in the pride of man's nature that abhors to be beaten at
chess by a lady, she suddenly desisted; and, sweeping her lily arm
across the board, 'Nay, now,' she cried, with a look of ineffable good
nature, 'if you were to complete my defeat after all my hair-breadth
'scapes, you could not be so unreasonable as to expect that I should
keep my temper.' 'And how dare you,' said Captain Montreville, in great
good humour with his supposed victory, 'deprive me at once of the
pleasures of novelty and of triumph?' By the help of this auxiliary, the
evening passed pleasantly away; and, before another came, Laura had
provided for it the cheap luxury of some books from a circulating
library.
CHAPTER VIII
For the first fortnight after Captain Montreville's arrival in London,
almost every forenoon was spent in unavailing attempts to see Mr
Baynard, whose illness, at the end of that time, had increased to such a
degree, as left no hope that he could soon be in a condition for
attending to business. Harassed by suspense, and weary of waiting for an
interview which seemed every day more distant, Captain Montreville
resolved to stay no longer for his agent's introduction to Mr Warren,
but to visit the young heir, and himself explain his errand. Having
procured Mr Warren's address from Mr Baynard's servants, he proceeded to
Portland Street; and knocking at the door of a handsome house, was there
informed that Mr Warren was gone to Brighton, and was not expected to
return for three weeks.
Captain Montreville had now no resource but to unfold his demands to Mr
Warren in writing. He did so, stating his claims with all the simple
energy of truth; but no answer was returned. He fatigued himself and
Laura in vain, with conjecturing the cause of this silence. He feared
that, though dictated by scrupulous politeness, his letter might have
given offence. He imagined that it might have miscarried, or that Mr
Warren might have left Brighton before it reached him. All his
conjectures were, however, wide of the truth. The letter had given no
offence, for it had never been read. It safely reached the person to
whom it was addressed, just as he was adding a finishing touch to the
graces of a huge silk handkerchief in which he had enveloped his chin,
preparatory to the exhibition of his person, and of an elegant new
curricle upon the Steine. A single glance had convinced him that the
letter was unworthy to encroach on this momentous concern--he had thrown
it aside, intending to read it when he had nothing else to do, and had
seen it no more, till on his return to London, he unrolled from it his
bottle of esprit de rose, which his valet had wrapped in its folds.
The three wearisome weeks came to an end at last, as well as a fourth,
which the attractions of Brighton prevailed on Mr Warren to add to his
stay; and Captain Montreville, making another, almost hopeless, inquiry
in Portland Street, was, to his great joy, admitted to the long desired
conference. He found the young man in his nightgown, reclining on a
sofa, intently studious of the Sportsman's Magazine, while he ever and
anon refreshed himself for this his literary toil, by sipping a cup of
chocolate. Being courteously invited to partake, the Captain began by
apologizing for his intrusion, but pleaded that his business was of such
a nature as to require a personal interview. At the mention of business,
the smile forsook its prescriptive station on the smooth face of Mr
Warren. 'Oh pray pardon me, Sir,' said he, 'my agent manages all my
matters--I never meddle with business--I have really no head for it.
Here, Du Moulin, give this gentleman Mr William's address.' 'Excuse me,
Sir,' said Captain Montreville. 'On this occasion I must entreat that
you will so far depart from your rule as to permit me to state my
business to you in person.' 'I assure you, Sir,' said the beau rising
from his luxurious posture, 'I know nothing about business--the very
name of it is to me the greatest bore in life;--it always reminds me of
my old dead uncle. The poor man could never talk of any thing but of
bank-stock, the price of the best archangel tar, and the scarcity of
hemp. Often did I wish the hemp had been cheap enough to make him apply
a little of it to his own use--but the old cock took wing at last
without a halter, he, he, he.'
'I shall endeavour to avoid these offensive subjects,' said Captain
Montreville, smiling. 'The affair in which I wish to interest you, is
less a case of law than of equity, and therefore I must beg permission
to state it to your personal attention, as your agent might not think
himself at liberty to do me the justice which I may expect from you.'
Mr Warren at this moment recollected an indispensable engagement, and
begged that Captain Montreville would do him the favour to call another
time--secretly resolving not to admit him. 'I shall not detain you two
minutes,' said the Captain; 'I shall in a few words state my request,
and leave you to decide upon it when you are more at leisure.' 'Well,
Sir,' replied Mr Warren, with something between a sigh and an
ill-suppressed yawn, 'if it must be so.'--
'About eighteen months ago,' resumed the Captain, 'my agent, Mr
Baynard, paid 1500 to your late uncle, as the price of an annuity on my
daughter's life. The deed is now found to be informal, and Mr Williams
has refused to make any payment. Mr Baynard's disposition has prevented
me from seeing him since my arrival in London; but I have no doubt that
he can produce a discharge for the price of the annuity; in which case,
I presume you will allow the mistake in the deed to be rectified.'
'Certainly, certainly,' said Mr Warren, who had transferred his thoughts
from the subject of the conversation to the comparative merits of
nankeen pantaloons and leather-breeches. 'But even if Mr Baynard should
have no document to produce,' continued Captain Montreville, 'may I not
hope that you will instruct Mr Williams to examine, whether there are
not in Mr Warren's books, traces of the agreement for an annuity of 80,
in the name of Laura Montreville?' 'Sir?' said Warren, whose ear caught
the tone of interrogation, though the meaning of the speaker had
entirely escaped him. The Captain repeated his request. 'Oh, certainly I
will,' said the young man, who would have promised any thing to get rid
of the subject. 'I hope the matter will be found to stand as you wish.
At all events, such a trifling sum can be of no sort of consequence.'
'Pardon me, Sir,' said Captain Montreville, warmly, 'to me it is of the
greatest--should this trifle, as you are pleased to call it, be lost to
me, my child must at my death be left to all the horrors, all the
temptations of want--temptations aggravated a thousand fold, by beauty
and inexperience.' His last words awakened something like interest in
the drowsy soul of his hearer, who said, with the returning smile of
self-complacency, 'Beauty, Sir, did you say? beauty is what I may call
my passion--a pretty girl is always sure of my sympathy and good
offices. I shall call for Mr Williams this very day.' Captain
Montreville bit his lip. 'Laura Montreville,' thought he, 'an object of
sympathy to such a thing as thou!' He bowed, however, and, said, 'I
hope, Sir, you will find, upon examination, that Miss Montreville's
claims rest upon your justice.' Then laying his address upon the table,
he took his leave, with an air perhaps a little too stately for one who
had come to ask a favour.
He returned home, however, much pleased with having at last met with
Warren, and with having, as he imagined, put in train the business on
account of which he had performed so long a journey, and suffered so
much uneasiness. He found Laura, too, in high spirits. She had just
given the finishing touches to a picture on which she had been most
busily employed ever since her arrival in London. She had studied the
composition, till her head ached with intensity of thought. She had
laboured the finishing with care unspeakable; and she now only waited
till her work could with safety be moved, to try the success of her
project for the attainment of wealth. Of this success she scarcely
entertained a doubt. She was sensible, indeed, that the picture had many
faults, but not so many as that on which Mrs Douglas's visitor had fixed
so high a price. Since painting the latter, she had improved in skill;
and never had she bestowed such pains as on her present work. The
stranger had said that the Scipio in Mrs Douglas's picture was
interesting. The Leonidas in this was much more so--she could not doubt
it, for he resembled Hargrave. She had hoped the resemblance would be
apparent to no eye but her own. Her father, however, had noticed it, and
Laura had tried to alter the head, but the Captain declared she had
spoiled it. Laura thought so herself; and, after sketching a hundred
regularly handsome countenances, could be satisfied with none that bore
not some affinity to her only standard of manly beauty.
To add to the pleasure with which Laura surveyed the completion of her
labours, she had that day received a letter from Mrs Douglas, in which
mention was made of Hargrave.
In her first letters to Laura, Mrs Douglas had entirely avoided this
subject. Almost a month Laura had waited, with sickening impatience, for
some hint from which she might gather intelligence of Hargrave's
motions--in vain. Her friend had been provokingly determined to believe
that the subject was disagreeable to her correspondent. Laura at last
ventured to add, to one of her letters, a postscript, in which, without
naming the Colonel, she inquired whether the ---- regiment was still at
Perth. She blushed as she glanced over this postscript. She thought it
had an air of contrivance and design. She was half tempted to destroy
the letter; but she could not prevail on herself to make a more direct
inquiry; and to forbear making any was almost impossible. An answer had
this day arrived; and Laura read no part of it with such interest, as
that which, with seeming carelessness, informed her that the Colonel had
been several times at the parsonage: and that Mrs Douglas understood
from report, that he was soon to visit London.
Again and again did Laura read this passage, and ponder every word of it
with care. I am playing the fool, said she to herself, and laid the
letter aside; took it up again to ascertain some particular expression,
and again read the paragraph which spoke of Hargrave, and again paused
upon his name. She was so employed when her father entered, and she made
an instinctive motion to conceal the paper; but the next moment she held
it out to him, saying, 'This is from Mrs Douglas.' 'Well, my love,' said
the Captain, 'if there are no secrets in it, read it to me. I delight in
Mrs Douglas's simple affectionate style.' Laura did as she was desired;
but when she reached the sentence which began with the name of Hargrave,
she blushed, hesitated for a moment, and then, passing over it, began
the next paragraph.
Without both caution and self-command, the most upright woman will be
guilty of subterfuges, where love is in question. Men can talk of the
object of their affections--they find pleasure in confiding, in
describing, in dwelling upon their passion--but the love of woman seeks
concealment. If she can talk of it, or even of any thing that leads to
it, the fever is imaginary, or it is past. 'It is very strange,' said
the Captain, when Laura had concluded, 'that Mrs Douglas never mentions
Hargrave, when she knows what an interest I take in him.' Laura coloured
crimson, but remained silent. 'What do you think can be her reason?'
asked the Captain. This was a question for which Laura could find no
evasion short of actual deceit; and, with an effort far more painful
than that from which her little artifice had saved her, her lovely face
and neck glowing with confusion, she said: 'She does mention--only I--I.
Please to read it yourself;' and she pointed it out to her father, who,
prepared by her hesitation to expect something very particular, was
surprised to find the passage so unimportant. 'Why, Laura,' said he,
'what was there to prevent you from reading this?' To this question
Laura could make no reply; and the Captain, after gazing on her for some
moments in vain hope of an explanation, dismissed the subject, saying,
with a shrug of his shoulders, 'Well, well--women are creatures I don't
pretend to understand.'
Laura had often and deeply reflected upon the propriety of confiding to
her father her engagement with Hargrave. Vague as it was, she thought a
parent had an indisputable right to be informed of it. Her promise too
had been conditional, and what judge so proper as her father to watch
over the fulfilment of its conditions? What judge so proper as her
father to examine the character, and to inspect the conduct, of the man
who might one day become her husband? But, amidst all the train of
delightful visions which this thought conjured up, Laura felt that
Hargrave's conduct had been such as she could not endure that her
father should remember against his future son. Captain Montreville was
now at a distance from Hargrave. Before they could possibly meet, her
arguments, or her entreaties, might have so far prevailed over the
subsiding passions of her father, as to dissuade him from a fashionable
vindication of her honour. But what was to restore her lover to his
present rank in the Captain's regard? What would blot from his
recollection the insult offered to his child? Without mention of that
insult, her tale must be almost unintelligible; and she was conscious
that, if she entered on the subject at all, her father's tenderness, or
his authority, might unlock every secret of her breast. The time when
her engagement could produce any consequence was distant. Ere it
arrived, something unforeseen might possibly remove her difficulties;
or, at the worst, she hoped that, before she permitted her father to
weigh the fault of Hargrave, she should be able to balance against it
the exemplary propriety of his after conduct. She was not just satisfied
with this reasoning; but weaker considerations can dissuade us from what
we are strongly disinclined to do; and to unveiling her own partiality,
or the unworthiness of its object, Laura's disinclination was extreme.
She determined therefore to put off the evil hour; and withdrew her
father's attention from the subject of the letter, by inquiring whether
he had seen Warren, and whether he had settled his business
satisfactorily? The Captain replied, that though it was not absolutely
settled, he hoped it was now in a fair way of being so; and informed her
of Warren's promise. 'Yet,' added he, 'any one of a thousand trifles may
make such an animal forget or neglect the most important concern.' 'What
sort of man did he seem?' inquired Laura. 'Man!' repeated the Captain,
contemptuously. 'Why, child, he is a creature entirely new to you. He
talks like a parrot, looks like a woman, dresses like a monkey, and
smells like a civet-cat. You might have lived at Glenalbert for half a
century, without seeing such a creature.' 'I hope he will visit us,'
said Laura, 'that we may not return home without seeing at least one of
the curiosities of London.'
CHAPTER IX
The next day, as Captain Montreville sat reading aloud to his daughter,
who was busy with her needle, Mr Warren was announced.
Laura, who concluded that he had business with her father, rose to
retire; but her visitor, intercepting her, took both her hands, saying,
'Pray, Ma'am, don't let me frighten you away.' With a constitutional
dislike to familiarity, Laura coolly disengaged herself, and left the
room, without uttering a syllable; but not before Warren had seen enough
of her to determine, that, if possible, he should see her again. He was
struck with her extraordinary beauty, which was heightened by the little
hectic his forwardness had called to her cheek; and he prolonged his
visit to an unfashionable length, in the hope of her return. He went
over all the topics which he judged proper for the ear of a stranger of
his own sex;--talked of the weather, the news, the emptiness of the
town, of horses, ladies, cock-fights, and boxing-matches. He informed
the Captain, that he had given directions to his agent to examine into
the state of the annuity; inquired how long Miss Montreville was to
grace London with her presence; and was told that she was to leave it
the moment her father could settle the business, on account of which
alone he had left Scotland. When it was absolutely necessary to conclude
his visit, Mr Warren begged permission to repeat it, that he might
acquaint Captain Montreville with the success of his agent; secretly
hoping, that Laura would another time be less inaccessible.
Laura meanwhile thought his visit would never have an end. Having
wandered into every room to which she had access, and found rest in none
of them, she concluded, rather rashly, that she should find more comfort
in the one from which his presence excluded her. That disease of the
mind in which by eager anticipations of the future many are unfitted
for present enjoyment, was new to the active spirit of Laura. The
happiness of her life, (and in spite of the caprices of her mother, it
had, upon the whole, been a happy one), had chiefly arisen from a
constant succession of regular, but varied pursuits. The methodical
sequence of domestic usefulness, and improving study, and healthful
exercise, afforded calm yet immediate enjoyment; and the future pleasure
which they promised was of that indefinite and progressive kind which
provokes no eager desires, no impatient expectation. Laura, therefore,
had scarcely known what it was to long for the morrow; but on this day,
the morrow was anticipated with wishful solicitude,--a solicitude which
banished from her mind even the thoughts of Hargrave. Never did youthful
bridegroom look forward to his nuptial hour with more ardour, than did
Laura to that which was to begin the realization of her prospects of
wealth and independence. The next day was to be devoted to the sale of
her picture. Her father was on that day to visit Mr Baynard at Richmond,
whither he had been removed for the benefit of a purer air; and she
hoped on his return, to surprize her beloved parent with an unlooked-for
treasure. She imagined the satisfaction with which she should spread
before him her newly acquired riches,--the pleasure with which she would
listen to his praises of her diligence;--above all, her fancy dwelt on
the delight which she should feel in relieving her father from the
pecuniary embarrassment, in which she knew him to be involved by a
residence in London so much longer than he had been prepared to expect.
That she might add to her intended gift the pleasure of surprize, she
was resolved not to mention her plan for to-morrow; and with such
subjects in contemplation, how could she rest,--of what other subject
could she speak? She tried to banish it from her mind, that she might
not be wholly unentertaining to her father, who, on her account, usually
spent his evenings at home. But the task of amusing was so laborious,
that she was glad to receive in it even the humble assistance of Miss
Julia Dawkins.
This young lady had thought it incumbent on her to assault our heroine
with a most violent friendship; a sentiment which often made her
sufficiently impertinent, though it was a little kept in check by the
calm good sense and natural reserve of Laura. The preposterous
affectation of Julia sometimes provoked the smiles, but more frequently
the pity of Laura; for her real good nature could find no pleasure in
seeing human beings make themselves ridiculous, and she applied to the
cure of Miss Dawkins's foibles, the ingenuity which many would have
employed to extract amusement from them. She soon found, however, that
she was combating a sort of Hydra, from which, if she succeeded in
lopping off one excrescence, another was instantly ready to sprout.
Having no character of her own, Julia was always, as nearly as she was
able, the heroine whom the last read novel inclined her to personate.
But as those who forsake the guidance of nature are in imminent danger
of absurdity, her copies were always caricatures. After reading Evelina,
she sat with her mouth extended in a perpetual smile, and was so very
timid, that she would not for the world have looked at a stranger. When
Camilla was the model for the day, she became insufferably rattling,
infantine, and thoughtless. After perusing the Gossip's story, she, in
imitation of the rational Louisa, suddenly waxed very wise--spoke in
sentences--despised romances--sewed shifts--and read sermons. But, in
the midst of this fit, she, in an evil hour, opened a volume of the
Nouvelle Eloise, which had before disturbed many wiser heads. The shifts
were left unfinished, the sermons thrown aside, and Miss Julia returned
with renewed impetus to the sentimental. This afternoon her studies
had changed their direction, as Laura instantly guessed by the lively
air with which she entered the room, saying that she had brought her
netting, and would sit with her for an hour. 'But do, my dear,' added
she, 'first shew me the picture you have been so busy with; Mamma says
it is beautiful, for she peeped in at it the other day.'
It must be confessed, that Laura had no high opinion of Miss Dawkins's
skill in painting; but she remembered Moliere's old woman, and went with
great good will to bring her performance. 'Oh charming,' exclaimed Miss
Julia, when it was placed before her; 'the figure of the man is quite
delightful; it is the very image of that bewitching creature Tom Jones.'
'Tom Jones?' cried Laura, starting back aghast. 'Yes, my dear,'
continued Julia; 'just such must have been the graceful turn of his
limbs--just such his hair, his eyes, those lips, that when they touched
her hand, put poor Sophia into such a flutter.' The astonishment of
Laura now gave way to laughter, while she said, 'Really Miss Dawkins you
must have a strange idea of Tom Jones, or I a very extraordinary one of
Leonidas.' 'Leonce, you mean, in Delphine,' said Julia; 'Oh, he is a
delightful creature too.' 'Delphine!' repeated Laura, to whom the name
was as new as that of the Spartan was to her companion. 'No, I mean this
for the Greek general taking his last leave of his wife.' 'And I
think,' said Captain Montreville, approaching the picture, 'the
suppressed anguish of the matron is admirably expressed, and contrasts
well with the scarcely relenting ardour of the hero.' Miss Julia again
declared, that the picture was charming, and that Leontine, as she was
pleased to call him, was divinely handsome; but having newly replenished
her otherwise empty head with Fielding's novel, she could talk of
nothing else; and turning to Laura said, 'But why were you so offended,
that I compared your Leontine to Tom Jones?--Is he not a favourite of
yours?' 'Not particularly so,' said Laura. 'Oh why not?--I am sure he is
a delightful fellow--so generous--so ardent. Come, confess--should you
not like of all things to have such a lover?' 'No, indeed,' said Laura,
with most unusual energy; for her thoughts almost unconsciously turned
to one whose character she found no pleasure in associating with that of
Fielding's hero. 'And why not?' asked Miss Julia. 'Because,' answered
Laura, 'I could not admire in a lover qualities which would be odious in
a husband.' 'Oh goodness!' cried Miss Julia, 'do you think Tom Jones
would make an odious husband?' 'The term is a little strong,' replied
Laura; 'but he certainly would not make a pleasant yoke-fellow. What is
your opinion, Sir?' turning to her father. 'I confess,' said the
Captain, 'I should rather have wished him to marry Squire Western's
daughter than mine. But still the character is fitted to be popular.' 'I
think,' said Laura, 'he is indebted for much of the toleration which he
receives, to a comparison with the despicable Blifil.' 'Certainly,' said
the Captain; 'and it is unfortunate for the morality of the book, that
the reader is inclined to excuse the want of religion in the hero, by
seeing its language made ridiculous in Thwackum, and villanous in
Blifil. Even the excellent Mr Alworthy excites but feeble interest; and
it is not by the character which we respect, but by that in which we are
interested, that the moral effect on our minds is produced.' 'Oh,' said
Miss Julia, who very imperfectly comprehended the Captain's observation,
'he might make a charming husband without being religious; and then he
is so warm-hearted--so generous.' 'I shall not dispute that point with
you just now,' replied Laura, 'though my opinion differs materially from
yours; but Tom Jones's warmth of heart and generosity do not appear to
me of that kind which quality a man for adorning domestic life. His
seems a constitutional warmth, which in his case, and I believe, in most
others, is the concomitant of a warm temper,--a temper as little
favourable to gentleness in those who command, as to submission in
those who obey. If by generosity you mean the cheerful relinquishing of
something which we really value, it is an abuse of the term to apply it
to the profusion with which your favourite squanders his money.'
'If it is not generous to part with one's money,' said Miss Julia, 'I am
sure I don't know what is.'
'The quiet domestic generosity which is of daily use,' replied Laura,
'is happily not confined to those who have money to bestow;--but may
appear in any of a thousand little acts of self-denial.' Julia, whose
ideas of generosity, culled from her favourite romances, were on that
gigantic kind of scale that makes it unfit for common occasions, and
therefore in danger of total extinction, was silent for some moments,
and then said, 'I am sure you must allow that it was very noble in Jones
to bury in his own miserable bosom his passion for Sophia, after he knew
that she felt a mutual flame.' 'If I recollect right,' said Laura,
smiling at the oddity of Julia's phrases, 'he broke that resolution; and
I fancy the merely resolving to do right, is a degree of virtue, to
which even the most profligate attain many times in their lives.'
Miss Dawkins, by this time more than half-suspected her companion of
being a Methodist. 'You have such strict notions,' said she, 'that I see
Tom Jones would never have done for you.' 'No,' said Captain
Montreville, 'Sir Charles Grandison would have suited Laura infinitely
better.' 'Oh no, papa,' said Laura, laughing; 'if two such formal
personages as Sir Charles and I had met, I am afraid we should never
have had the honour of each other's acquaintance.'
'Then, of all the gentlemen who are mentioned in novels,' said Miss
Julia, 'tell me who is your favourite?--Is it Lord Orville, or Delville,
or Valancourt, or Edward, or Mortimer, or Peregrine Pickle, or'--and she
ran on till she was quite out of breath, repeating what sounded like a
page of the catalogue of a circulating library.
'Really,' said Laura, when a pause permitted her to speak, 'my
acquaintance with these accomplished persons is so limited that I can
scarcely venture to decide; but, I believe, I prefer the hero of Miss
Porter's new publication--Thaddeus of Warsaw. Truly generous, and
inflexibly upright, his very tenderness has in it something manly and
respectable; and the whole combination has an air of nature that
interests one as for a real friend.' Miss Dawkins had never read the
book, and Laura applied to her father for a confirmation of her opinion.
'Yes, my dear,' said the Captain, 'your favourite has the same
resemblance to a human character which the Belvidere Appollo has to a
human form. It is so like man that one cannot absolutely call it divine,
yet so perfect, that it is difficult to believe it human.'
At this moment Miss Julia was seized with an uncontrollable desire to
read the book, which, she declared, she should not sleep till she had
done; and she went to dispatch a servant in quest of it.
Laura followed her down stairs, to ask from Mrs Dawkins a direction to a
picture-dealer, to whom she might dispose of her performance. Mrs
Dawkins said she knew of no such person; but directed Laura to a
printshop, the master of which was her acquaintance, where she might get
the intelligence she wanted.
On the following morning, as soon as Captain Montreville had set out for
Richmond, his daughter, sending for a hackney coach, departed on the
most interesting business she had ever undertaken. Her heart fluttered
with expectation--her step was buoyant with hope, and she sprung into
the carriage with the lightness of a sylph. Stopping at the shop which
her landlady recommended, she was there directed to several of the
professional people for whom she was enquiring, and she proceeded to the
habitation of the nearest. As she entered the house, Laura changed
colour, and her breath came quick. She stopped a moment to recover
herself, and then followed her conductor into the presence of the
connoisseur. Struck with the sight of so elegant a woman, he rose, bowed
very low, and supposing that she came to make some addition to her
cabinet, threw open the door of his picture-room, and obsequiously hoped
that she might find something there worthy of her attention. Laura
modestly undeceived him, saying, that she had brought in the carriage
which waited for her, a picture which she wished to dispose of. This
statement instantly put to flight the servility of her hearer; who, with
completely recovered consequence, inquired the name of the artist; and
being answered, that the picture was not the work of a professional man,
wrinkled his nose into an expression of ineffable contempt, and said--'I
make it a rule never to buy any of these things--they are generally such
vile daubs. However to oblige so pretty a lady,' added he, (softening
his contumelious aspect into a leer), 'I may look at the thing, and if
it is at all tolerable'--'There is no occasion to give you that
trouble,' said Laura, turning away with an air which again half
convinced the man that she must be a person of consequence. He muttered
something of 'thinking it no trouble;' to which she gave no attention,
but hastened to her carriage, and ordered the coachman to drive to the
show-room of an Italian.
Laura did not give him time to fall into the mistake of the other, but
instantly opened her business; and Mr Sonini was obligingly running
himself to lift the picture from the carriage, when it was brought in by
Mrs Dawkins' maid, whom Laura had requested to attend her. Having placed
the picture, the Italian retreated a few paces to examine the effect,
and then said--'Ah! I do see--dis is leetle after de manner of
Correggio--very pretty--very pretty, indeed.' The hopes of Laura rose
high at these encouraging words; but suffered instantaneous depression,
when he continued, with a shake of his head, 'but 'tis too new--quite
moderne--painted in dis contri.--Painter no name--de picture may be all
so good as it vil--it never vil sell. Me sorry,' added he, reading
Laura's look of disappointment, 'me sorry displease such bell angela;
but cannot buy.' 'I am sorry for it,' said Laura, and sighing heavily,
she courtesied and withdrew.
Her next attempt was upon a little pert-looking man, in a foreign dress,
and spectacles. 'Hum,' said he, 'a picture to sell--well, let us
see't.--There, that's the light. Hum--a poor thing enough--no
keeping--no costme. Well, Ma'am, what do you please to ask for this?'
'I should be glad, Sir, that you would fix a price on it.'
'Hum--well--let me think--I suppose five guineas will be very fair.' At
this proposal, the blood mounted to the cheeks of Laura; and she raised
her eyes to examine whether the proposer really had the confidence to
look her in the face. But finding his eye steadily fixed on her, she
transferred her suspicions from the honesty of the bidder to the merits
of her piece, and mildly answering, 'I shall not, I think, be disposed
to part with it at that price,' she motioned to the servant to carry it
back to the coach.
One trial still remained; and Laura ordered her carriage to an obscure
street in the city. She was very politely received by Mr Collins,--a
young man who had himself been an artist; but whom bad health had
obliged to relinquish a profession which he loved. 'This piece has
certainly great merit,' said he, after examining it, 'and most gladly
would I have made the purchase; but my little room is at present
overstocked, and, to own the truth to you, the picture is worth more
than my wife and four little ones can afford to venture upon
speculation, and such is the purchase of the work, however meritorious,
of an unknown artist. But if you were to place it in the exhibition, I
have no doubt that it would speedily find a purchaser.' The prospect
which the Exhibition held forth, was far too distant to meet the present
exigency; for Laura well knew that her father would find almost
immediate occasion for the price of her labours; and with a heavy sigh
she returned to her carriage.
What now remained but to return home with the subject of so much
fruitless toil. Still, however, she determined to make one effort more,
and returned to inquire of the printseller, whether he knew any other
person to whom she could apply? He had before given his whole list, and
could make no addition to it. But observing the expression of blank
disappointment which overcast her face, he offered, if she would trust
him with the picture, to place it where it would be seen by his
customers, and expressed a belief that some of them might purchase it.
Laura thankfully accepted the offer, and after depositing with him her
treasure, which had lost much of its value in her eyes, and naming the
price she expected, she returned home; making on her way as many
sombrous reflections on the vanity and uncertainty of all sublunary
pursuits, as ever were made by any young lady in her eighteenth year.
She sat down in her now solitary parlour--suffered dinner to be placed
before her and removed, without knowing of what it consisted; and when
the servant who brought it disappeared, began, like a true heroine, to
vent her disappointment in tears. But soon recollecting that, though she
had no joyful surprize awaiting her father, she might yet gladden it
with a smiling welcome, she started up from her melancholy
posture--bathed her eyes--placed the tea equipage--ordered the first
fire of the season to displace the faded fennel in the chimney--arranged
the apartment in the nicest order--and had just given to everything the
greatest possible appearance of comfort, when her father arrived. She
had need, however, of all her firmness, and of all the elation of
conscious self-control, to resist the contagious depression of
countenance and manner with which Captain Montreville accosted her. He
had good reason for his melancholy. Mr Baynard, his early acquaintance,
almost the only person known to him in this vast city, had that morning
breathed his last. All access to his papers was of course at present
impossible; and until a person could be chosen to arrange his affairs,
it would be impracticable for Captain Montreville to ascertain whether
there existed any voucher for the payment of the price of the annuity.
Harassed by his repeated disappointments, and unendowed by nature with
the unbending spirit that rises in disaster, he now declared to Laura
his resolution to remain in London only till a person was fixed upon for
the management of Mr Baynard's affairs--to lay before him the
circumstances of his case--and then to return to Scotland, and trust to
a correspondence for concluding the business.
At this moment nothing could have been further from Laura's wish than to
quit London. She was unwilling to forfeit her remaining hope that her
picture might find a purchaser, and a still stronger interest bound her
to the place which was so soon to be the residence of Hargrave. But she
saw the prudence of her father's determination--she felt the necessity
of relinquishing a mode of life so unsuitable to his scanty income, and
she cheerfully acquiesced in his proposal of returning home. Still some
time must elapse, before their departure; and she indulged a hope, that
ere that time expired, the produce of her labours might lighten their
pecuniary difficulties.
Captain Montreville retired early; and Laura, wearied out with the toils
and the disappointments of the day, gladly resigned herself to the sleep
of innocence.
Laura was indebted partly to nature, but more to her own exertion, for
that happy elasticity of spirit which easily casts off lighter evil,
while it readily seizes, and fully enjoys, pleasure of moderate
intensity, and of frequent attainment. Few of the lesser sorrows of
youth can resist the cheering influence of early morn; and the petty
miseries which, in the shades of evening, assume portentous size and
colour, diminish wonderfully in the light of the new-risen sun. With
recovered spirits, and reviving hopes, Laura awoke to joys which the
worldly know not,--the joys of pious gratitude--of devout
contemplation--of useful employment; and so far was her persevering
spirit from failing under the disappointments of the preceding day, that
she determined to begin a new picture from the moment she was settled at
Glenalbert, to compose it with more care, and finish it with greater
accuracy, than the former; and to try its fate at the exhibition. She
did not think the season of her father's depression a fit one for
relating her mortifying adventures, and she found means to amuse him
with other topics till he left her, with an intention to call in
Portland Street.
He had not been gone long, when Mr Warren's curricle stopped at the
door, and the young gentleman, on being informed that the Captain was
abroad, inquired for Miss Montreville. After paying his compliments like
one secure of a good reception, he began--'How could you be so cruel as
to refuse me the pleasure of seeing you the other day--do you know I
waited here a devilish long time just on purpose, though I had promised
to take the Countess of Bellamer out an airing, and she was off with
Jack Villars before I came.' 'I am sorry,' said Laura, 'that I deprived
her Ladyship of your company.' 'I should not have minded it much, if you
had but come at last--though the Countess is the prettiest creature in
London--curse me if she isn't--the present company always excepted.' 'Do
you mean the exception for me, or for yourself?' said Laura. 'Oh now,
how can you ask such a question?--I am sure you know that you are
confoundedly handsome.' Laura gravely surveyed her own face in an
opposite looking-glass, and then, with the nonchalance of one who talks
of the most indifferent thing in nature, replied,--'Yes, I think my
features are uncommonly regular.' Warren was a little embarrassed by so
unusual an answer to what he intended for a compliment. 'The girl,'
thought he, 'must be quite a fool to own that she thinks herself so
handsome.' However, after some consideration, he said,--'It is not so
much the features, as a certain je ne sai quoi--a certain charm--one
does not know well what to call it, that makes you look so divine.' 'I
should suppose,' said Laura, 'from the subject you have chosen to amuse
me, that the charm, whatever it is, has no great connection with
intellect.' Warren hesitated; for he began to have some suspicions that
she was laughing at him, in spite of the immoveable gravity of her
countenance. 'It--it isn't--Demme, it isn't so much to amuse you; but
when I see a pretty woman, I never can help telling her of it--curse me
if I can.' 'And do you often find that your intelligence has the
advantage of novelty?' said Laura; an arch smile beginning to dimple her
cheek. 'No, 'pon honour,' replied the beau, 'the women are getting so
insufferably conceited, they leave one nothing new to tell them.' 'But
some gentlemen,' said Laura, 'have the happy talent of saying old things
so well, that the want of novelty is not felt.' The moment the words had
passed her lips, she perceived, by the gracious smile which they
produced, that Mr Warren had applied them to himself; and the thought of
being guilty of such egregious flattery, brought the colour to her face.
Any explanation, however, would have been actual rudeness; and while the
consciousness of her involuntary duplicity kept her silent, her
companion enjoyed her confusion; which, together with the compliment, he
interpreted in a way most satisfactory to his vanity, and thankfully
repaid with a torrent of praises in his very best style.
So little value did Laura affix to his commendations, that she was
beginning to find extreme difficulty in suppressing a yawn, when it
occurred to her that it might save her father a journey to Portland
Street, if she could detain Mr Warren till he arrived. Having made an
observation, which has been more frequently made than profited by, that
most people prefer talking to listening, she engaged her companion in a
description of some of the fashionable places of public resort, none of
which she had seen; in which he acquitted himself so much to his own
satisfaction, that, before they separated, he was convinced that Laura
was one of the most penetrating judicious women of his acquaintance; and
having before remarked, that, with the help of a little rouge, and a
fashionable riding-habit, she would look better in a curricle than any
woman in London, he resolved, that if it depended on him, her residence
in town should not be a short one. In this laudable resolution, he was
confirmed by a consideration of the insolence and extravagance of a
certain female, to whose place in his establishment he had some vague
idea of advancing Miss Laura, though there was a stateliness about both
her and her father, which he suspected might somewhat interfere with his
designs in her favour. Soon after the Captain arrived, he took his
leave, having no new intelligence to communicate, nor indeed any other
purpose in his visit, except that which had been served by his interview
with Laura.
As soon as he was gone, Laura went down stairs to beg that Miss Dawkins
would accompany her after dinner to the print-shop, to inquire what had
been the fate of her picture. More than one person, she was told, had
admired it, and expressed a desire to become the owner; but the price
had been a formidable obstacle, and it remained unsold.
Almost every evening did Laura, with Mrs Dawkins or her daughter for an
escort, direct her steps to the print-shop, and return from her
fruitless walk with fainter and fainter hope.
CHAPTER X
Montague de Courcy had dined tte--tte with an old uncle from whom he
had no expectations, and was returning home to sup quietly with his
mother and sister, when his progress was arrested by a group occupying
the whole breadth of the pavement, and he heard a female voice which,
though unusually musical, had in it less of entreaty than of command,
say, 'Pray, Sir, allow us to pass.' 'Not till I have seen the face that
belongs to such a figure,' answered one of a party of young men who were
rudely obstructing the passage of the lady who had spoken. With this
condition, however, she seemed not to intend compliance, for she had
doubled her veil, and pertinaciously resisted the attempts of her
persecutors to raise it.
De Courcy had a rooted antipathy to all manner of violence and
oppression, especially when exercised against the more defenceless part
of the creation; and he no sooner ascertained these circumstances, than,
with one thrust of his muscular arm, (which, to say the truth, was more
than a match for half a dozen of the puny fry of sloth and
intemperance), he opened a passage for the lady and her companion;
steadily detained her tormentors till she made good her retreat; and
then, leaving the gentlemen to answer, as they best could, to their own
interrogatories of 'What do you mean?' and 'Who the d--l are you?' he
followed the rescued damsel, with whose appearance, considering the
place and the hour, he was extremely surprised.
Her height, which certainly rose about the beautiful, perhaps even
exceeded the majestic; her figure, though slender, was admirably
proportioned, and had all the appropriate roundness of the feminine
form; her dress, though simple, and of matronly decency, was not
unfashionable; while the dignity of her gait, and the composure of her
motion, suited well with the majesty of her stature and mien.
While De Courcy was making these observations, he had offered the lady
his arm, which she accepted, and his escort home, which she declined,
saying, that she would take refuge in a shop, till a coach could be
procured. Nor was he less attentive to her companion, although the
latter was a little, elderly, vulgar-looking woman, imperfections which
would have utterly disqualified her for the civility of many a polite
gentleman.
This person had no sooner recovered the breath of which her supposed
danger, and the speed of her rescue from it had deprived her, than she
began, with extreme volubility, to comment on her adventure. 'Well,' she
cried, 'if that was not the forwardest thing ever I seed. I am sure I
have comed home afore now of an evening a matter of five hunder times,
and never met with no such thing in my life. But its all along of my
being so saving of your money; for I might have took a coach as you'd
have had me: but its no longer ago nor last week, as I comed from my
tea, at that very Mr Wilkins's, later nor this, and nobody so much as
spoke to me; but catch me penny wise again. Howsoever, it's partlins
your own doings; for if you hadn't staid so long a-looking at the
pictures in the shop we shouldn't have met with them there men.
Howsoever, Miss Montreville, you did right enough not to let that there
jackanapes see your face, otherwise we mightn't have got off from them
fellors tonight.'
The curiosity of De Courcy thus directed, overcame his habitual dislike
to staring, and rivetted his eyes on a face, which, once seen, was
destined never to be forgotten. Her luxuriant hair, (which De Courcy at
first thought black, though he afterwards corrected this opinion), was
carelessly divided on a forehead, whose spotless whiteness was varied
only by the blue of a vein that shone through the transparent skin. As
she raised her mild religious dark grey eyes, their silken lashes rested
on the well-defined but delicate eye-brow; or, when her glance fell
before the gaze of admiration, threw a long shade on a cheek of
unequalled beauty, both for form and colour. The contour of her
features, inclining to the Roman, might perhaps have been called
masculine, had it not been softened to the sweetest model of maiden
loveliness, by the delicacy of its size and colouring. The glowing
scarlet of the lips, formed a contrast with a complexion
constitutionally pale, but varying every moment; while round her easily
but firmly closing mouth, lurked not a trace of the sensual or the vain,
but all was calm benevolence, and saintly purity. In the contemplation
of a countenance, the perfect symmetry of which was its meanest charm,
De Courcy, who was a physiognomist, suffered the stream of time, as well
as that of Mrs Dawkins's eloquence, to flow on without notice, and first
became sensible that he had profited by neither, when the shop-boy
announced that the carriage was at the door. While handing the ladies
into the carriage, De Courcy again offered his attendance, which Laura,
gracefully thanking him for his attentions, again declined; and they
drove off just as he was about to inquire where they chose to be set
down.
Now, whether it was that Laura was offended at De Courcy's inspection of
her face, or whether she saw any thing disagreeable in his; whether it
was that her pride disdained lodgings in Holborn, or that she desired
not to be recognized by one who had met with her in such a situation,
certain it is, that she chose the moment when that gentleman was placing
her voluble companion in the coach, to give the coachman her directions,
in sounds that escaped the ears of De Courcy. As he had no means of
remedying this misfortune, he walked home, and philosophically
endeavoured to forget it in a game at chess with his mother. The
fidelity of a historian, however, obliges us to confess, that he this
evening played in a manner that would have disgraced a school-boy. After
mistaking his antagonist's men for his own, playing into check, throwing
away his pieces, and making false moves, he answered his mother's
question of 'Montague, what are you doing?', by pushing back his chair,
and exclaiming, 'Mother, you never beheld such a woman.'
'Woman!' repeated Mrs De Courcy, settling her spectacles, and looking
him full in the face. 'Woman!' said his sister, laying down Bruyere,
'Who is she?'
'I know not,' answered De Courcy, 'but had Lavater seen her, he could
scarcely have believed her human.'
'What is her name?'
'The woman who attended her called her Montreville.'
'Where did you meet her?'
'In the street.'
'In the street!' cried Harriet, laughing. 'Oh, Montague, that is not
half sentimental enough for you. You should have found her all in a
shady bower, playing on a harp that came there nobody knows how; or, all
elegant in India muslin, dandling a beggar's brat in a dirty cottage.
But let us hear the whole adventure.'
'I have already told you all I know,' answered De Courcy. 'Now, Madam,
will you give me my revenge.' 'No, no,' said Mrs De Courcy, 'I will play
no more; I should have no glory in conquering such a defenceless enemy.'
'Well, then,' said Montague, good-humouredly, 'give me leave to read to
you, for I would rather amuse you and Harriet in any other way than by
sitting quietly to be laughed at.'
After the ladies had retired for the night, De Courcy meditated for full
five minutes on the descent from Laura Montreville's forehead to her
nose, and bestowed a proportionable degree of consideration upon other
lines in her physiognomy; but it must be confessed, that by the time he
arrived at the dimple in her left cheek, he had forgotten both Lavater
and his opinions, and that his recollection of her mouth was somewhat
confused by that of her parting smile, which he more than once declared
aloud to himself was 'heavenly.' We are credibly informed, that he
repeated the same expression three times in his sleep; and whether it
was that his dreams reminded him of Mrs Dawkins's eloquence, or whether
his memory was refreshed by his slumbers, he had not been long awake
before he recollected that he had heard that lady mention a Mr Wilkins,
and hint that he kept a print-shop. By a proper application to the
London directory, he easily discovered the print-seller's abode, and
thither he that very day repaired.
Mr Wilkins was not in the shop when De Courcy entered it, but the
shop-boy said his master would be there in a minute. This minute
appearing to De Courcy of unusual length, he, to while it away, began to
examine the prints which hung around. His eye was presently attracted by
the only oil picture in the shop; and his attention was fixed by
observing, that it presented a striking resemblance of his old
school-fellow Hargrave. He turned to make some inquiry of the shop-boy,
when Mr Wilkins came in, and his interest reverted to a different
object. The question, however, which he had come to ask, and which to
ask would have three minutes before appeared the simplest thing in the
world, now faltered on his tongue; and it was not without something like
hesitation, that he inquired whether Mr Wilkins knew a Miss Montreville.
Desirous to oblige a person of De Courcy's appearance, Wilkins
immediately related all that he knew of Laura, either from his own
observation, or from the report of her loquacious landlady; and
perceiving that he was listened to with attention, he proceeded further
to detail his conjectures. 'This picture is painted by her,' said he,
'and I rather think the old Captain can't be very rich, she seemed so
anxious to have it sold.' De Courcy again turned to the picture, which
he had before examined, and on this second inspection, was so fortunate
as to discover that it bore the stamp of great genius,--an opinion in
which, we believe, he would have been joined by any man of
four-and-twenty who had seen the artist. 'So,' thought he, 'this lovely
creature's genius is equal to her beauty, and her worth perhaps
surpasses both; for she has the courage to rise superior to the silly
customs of the world, and can dare to be useful to herself and to
others. I knew by the noble arching of her forehead, that she was above
all vulgar prejudice:' and he admired Laura the more for being a
favourable instance of his own penetration,--a feeling so natural, that
it lessens even our enmity to the wicked, when we ourselves have
predicted their vices. It must be owned, that De Courcy was a little
hasty in his judgment of Laura's worth; but the sight of such a face as
hers, gives great speed to a young man's decision upon female character.
He instantly purchased the picture, and recollecting that it is highly
proper to patronize genius and industry, he desired Mr Wilkins to beg
that a companion might be painted. He then returned home, leaving orders
that his purchase should follow him immediately.
Though nature, a private education, and studious habits, made De Courcy
rather reserved to strangers, he was, in his domestic circle, one of the
most communicative persons in the world; and the moment he saw his
mother, he began to inform her of the discoveries he had made that
morning. 'Montreville!' said Mrs De Courcy, when he had ended, 'can that
be William Montreville who was in the ---- regiment when your father was
the major of it?' 'Most likely he is,' said Montague, eagerly. 'Many a
time did he hold you upon his horse, and many a paper kite did he make
for you.' 'It must be the same,' said Montague; 'the name is not a
common one; it certainly must be the same.' 'I can hardly believe it,'
said Mrs De Courcy; 'William Montreville married that strange imprudent
woman, Lady Harriet Bircham. Poor Montreville!--he deserved a better
wife.' 'It cannot be he,' said De Courcy, sorrowfully; 'no such woman
could be the mother of Miss Montreville.' 'He settled in Scotland
immediately after his marriage,' continued Mrs De Courcy, 'and since
that time I have never heard of him.' 'It is the same then,' said
Montague, his countenance lightening with pleasure, 'for Miss
Montreville is a Scotch woman. I remember his kindness. I think I almost
recollect his face. He used to set me on his knee and sing to me; and
when he sung the Babes in the Woods, I pretended to go to sleep on his
bosom, for I thought it not manly to cry; but when I looked up, I saw
the tears standing in his own eyes. I will go and see my old friend this
very hour.' 'You have forgotten,' said Mrs De Courcy, 'that you promised
to escort Harriet to the park, and she will be disappointed if you
engage yourself elsewhere.' De Courcy, who would have postponed any
personal gratification rather than disappoint the meanest servant in his
household, instantly agreed to defer his visit; and as it had never
occurred to him that the claims of relationship were incompatible with
those of politeness, he did not once during their walk insinuate to his
sister that he would have preferred another engagement.
Never had he, either as a physiognomist or as a man, admired any woman
so much as he did Laura; yet her charms were no longer his only, or even
his chief, magnet of attraction towards the Montrevilles. Never before
had any assemblage of features possessed such power of him, but De
Courcy's was not a heart on which mere beauty could make any very
permanent impression; and, to the eternal disgrace of his gallantry, it
must be confessed, that he scarcely longed more for a second interview
with Laura, than he did for an opportunity of paying some grateful
civilities to the man who, twenty years before, had good-naturedly
forgone the society of his equals in age, to sing ballads and make
paper-kites for little Montague. Whatever member of his family occupied
most of his thoughts, certain it is, that he spoke much more that
evening of Captain Montreville than of his daughter, until the arrival
of the painting afforded him occasion to enlarge on her genius,
industry, and freedom from vulgar prejudice. On these he continued to
descant, till Mrs De Courcy smiled, and Harriet laughed openly; a
liberty at which Montague testified his displeasure, by carefully
avoiding the subject for the rest of the evening.
Meanwhile the ungrateful Laura had never, from the hour in which they
met, bestowed one thought upon her champion. The blackness of his eyes,
and the whiteness of his teeth, had entirely escaped her observation;
and, even if she had been asked, whether he was tall or short, she could
scarcely have given a satisfactory reply. For this extraordinary
stupidity, the only excuse is, that her heart was already occupied, the
reader knows how, and that her thoughts were engrossed by an intention
which her father had mentioned, of borrowing money upon his half-pay.
Though Laura had never known affluence, she was equally a stranger to
all the shames, the distresses, and embarrassments of a debtor; and the
thoughts of borrowing what she could not hope by any economy to repay,
gave to her upright mind the most cutting uneasiness. But no resource
remained; for, even if Captain Montreville could have quitted London
within the hour, he had not the means of defraying the expence of the
journey. Warren's promises had hitherto produced nothing but hope, and
there was no immediate prospect that the payment of the annuity would
relieve the difficulty.
Laura turned a despairing wish towards her picture, lamenting that she
had ever formed her presumptuous scheme, and hating herself for having,
by her presence, increased the perplexities of her father. She prevailed
upon him, however, to defer borrowing the money till the following day;
and once more, accompanied by Julia, bent her almost hopeless steps
towards the print-shop.
Silent and melancholy she passed on, equally regardless of the
admiration which she occasionally extorted, and of the animadversions,
called forth by the appearance of so elegant a woman on foot, in the
streets of the city. As she entered the shop, she cast a half-despairing
look towards the place where her picture had hung, and her heart leapt
when she perceived that it was gone. 'Well, Ma'am,' said Wilkins,
approaching her, 'it is sold at last, and here is the money;' and he put
into her hands by far the largest sum they had ever contained. 'You may
have as much more whenever you please,' continued he, 'for the gentleman
who bought it wants a companion painted.'
Laura spoke not,--she had not indeed the power to speak;--but she raised
her eyes with a look that intelligibly said, 'Blessed Father! thy tender
mercies are over all thy works.' Recollecting herself, she thanked
Wilkins, liberally rewarded him for his trouble, and taking her
companion by the arm, she hastened homewards.
The sight of Laura's wealth powerfully affected the mind of Miss
Dawkins, and she formed an immediate resolution, to grow rich by similar
means. One little objection to this scheme occurred to her, namely, that
she had learnt to draw only flowers, and that even this humble branch of
the art she had discontinued since she left school. But she thought that
a little practice would repair what she had lost, and that though
perhaps flowers might not be so productive as historical pieces, she
might better her fortune by her works; at the least, they would furnish
her with clothes and pocket-money. Upon this judicious plan, she
harangued with great volubility to Laura, who, buried in her own
reflections, walked silently on, unconscious even of the presence of her
loquacious companion. As she approached her home, she began to frame a
little speech, with which she meant to present her treasure to her
father; and, on entering the house, she flew with a beating heart to
find him. She laid her wealth upon his knee. 'My dearest father,' she
began, 'the picture'--and she fell upon his neck and burst into tears.
Sympathetic tears stood in the eyes of Montreville. He had been
surprized at the stoicism with which his daughter appeared to him to
support her disappointment, and he was not prepared to expect from her
so much sensibility to success. But though Laura had learnt from
frequent experience, how to check the feelings of disappointment, to
pleasure such as she now felt she was new, and she could not controul
its emotions. So far was she, however, from thinking that sensibility
was bestowed merely for an ornament, (an opinion which many fair ladies
appear to entertain), that the expression of it was always with her an
occasion of shame. Unable at this moment to contain herself, she burst
from her father's embrace, and hiding herself in her chamber, poured
forth a fervent thanksgiving to Him who 'feedeth the ravens when they
cry to him.'
'This money is yours my love,' said Captain Montreville to her when she
returned to the parlour. 'I cannot bear to rob you of it. Take it, and
you can supply me when I am in want of it.' The face and neck of Laura
flushed crimson. Her whole soul revolted at the thought of her father's
feeling himself a pensioner on her bounty. 'No indeed, Sir,' she replied
with energy, 'it is yours--it always was intended for you. But for you,
I could never have acquired it.' 'I will not disappoint your generosity,
my dearest,' said Montreville, 'part I will receive from you, but the
rest you must keep. I know you must have many little wants.' 'No, Papa,'
said Laura, 'so liberal has your kindness been to me, that I cannot at
this moment name a single want.' 'Wishes, then, you surely have,' said
the Captain, still pressing the money upon her; 'and let the
first-fruits of your industry supply them.' 'I have no wishes,' said
Laura; 'none at least which money can gratify:--and when I have,' added
she, with an affectionate smile, 'let their gratification come from you,
that its pleasure may be doubled to me.'
No creature could less value money for its own sake than did Laura. All
her wealth, the fruit of so much labour and anxiety, would not have
purchased the attire of a fashionable lady for one evening. She, who
had been accustomed to wander in happy freedom among her native hills,
was imprisoned amidst the smoke and dust of a city. Without a companion,
almost without an acquaintance to invigorate her spirits for the task,
it was her province to revive the fainting hopes, and beguile the tedium
of her father, who was depressed by disappointments in his pursuits, and
disconcerted by the absence of his accustomed employments. She was at a
distance from the object, not only of a tender affection, but of a
romantic passion,--a passion, ardent in proportion as its object was
indebted to her imagination for his power. Scarce three months had
elapsed since the depravity of this idolized being had burst on her in
thunder, the thought of it was still daggers to her heart, and it was
very doubtful whether he could ever give such proofs of reformation as
would make it safe for her to restore him to his place in her regard.
Yet be it known to all who, from similar circumstances, feel entitled to
fancy themselves miserable, and thus (if they live with beings of common
humanity) make others really so, that no woman ever passed an evening in
more heartfelt content, than Laura did that which our history is now
recording. She did, indeed, possess that which, next to the overflowings
of a pious heart, confers the purest happiness on this side Heaven. She
felt that she was USEFUL. Nay, in one respect the consciousness of a
successful discharge of duty has the advantage over the fervours of
devotion; for Providence, wise in its bounty, has decreed, that while
these foretastes of heavenly rapture are transient lest their delights
should detach us from the business of life, we are invited to a
religious practice by the permanence of its joys.
CHAPTER XI
Captain Montreville and his daughter were engaged in a friendly contest
on the subject of a companion for the picture, when De Courcy made his
visit. Though, as he entered the room, something unfashionably like a
blush visited his face, his manner was free from rustic embarrassment.
'I believe,' said he, advancing towards Captain Montreville, 'I must
apologize for the intrusion of a stranger. My person must have outgrown
your recollection. My name, I hope, has been more fortunate. It is De
Courcy.' 'The son I presume of Major De Courcy,' said Montreville,
cordially extending his hand to him. 'Yes,' replied Montague, heartily
taking the offered hand; 'the same whose childhood was indebted to you
for so many of its pleasures.' 'My old friend Montague!' cried the
Captain, 'though your present form is new to me, I remember my lovely
little noble-spirited play-fellow with an interest which I have never
felt in any other child except this girl.' 'And who knows,' said De
Courcy, turning to Laura with a smile, 'who knows what cause I may find
to rue that Miss Montreville is past the age when I might have repaid
her father's kindness by assiduities to her doll?' 'That return,' said
Laura, colouring, as she recollected her late champion, 'would not have
been quite so arduous as the one you have already made. I hope you have
had no further trouble with those rude people?' 'No, Madam,' answered De
Courcy, 'nor did I expect it; the spirits that are so insolent where
they dare, are submissive enough where they must.' Laura now explained
to her father her obligation to De Courcy; and the Captain having
thanked him for his interference, the conversation took a general turn.
Elated as he was with the successful industry and genius of his child,
and pleased with the attentions of the son of his friend, the spirits
of Montreville rose higher than they had ever done since his arrival in
London. Won by the happy mixture of familiarity and respect, of spirit
and gentleness, which distinguished the manners of De Courcy, the
Captain became cheerful, and Laura almost talkative: the conversation
rose from easy to animated, from animated to gay; and two hours had
passed before any of the party was aware that one-fourth of that time
was gone. Laura's general reserve with strangers seemed to have forsaken
her while she conversed with De Courcy. But De Courcy was not a
stranger. By character she knew him well. Hargrave had mentioned to her
his intimacy with De Courcy. Nay, De Courcy had, at the hazard of his
life, saved the life of Hargrave. Laura had heard her lover dwell with
the eloquence of gratitude upon the courage, the presence of mind, with
which (while others, confounded by his danger, or fearing for their own
safety, left him to perish without aid), De Courcy had seized a fisher's
net, and, binding one end of it to a tree, the other to his body, had
plunged into the water, and intercepted Hargrave, just as the stream was
hurrying him to the brink of a tremendous fall. 'All struggle was in
vain,' had Hargrave said to the breathless Laura; 'but for that noble
fellow, that minute would have been my last, and I should have died
without awakening this interest so dear to my heart.' 'I wish I could
see this De Courcy,' had Laura fervently exclaimed. 'Heaven forbid!' had
been the hasty reply, 'for your habits--your pursuits--your sentiments
are so similar, that he would gain without labour, perhaps without a
wish, the heart that has cost me such anxious toil.' A recollection of
this dialogue stole into the mind of Laura, as De Courcy was expressing
an opinion which, though not a common one, coincided exactly with her
own. For a moment she was absent and thoughtful; but De Courcy continued
the conversation, and she resumed her gaiety.
When unwillingly at last he rose to take his leave, Captain Montreville
detained him while he made some friendly inquiries into the history of
the family for the last twenty years. As the questions of the Captain,
however, were not impertinently minute, nor the answers of De Courcy
very copious, it may not be improper to supply what was wanting in the
narrative.
Major De Courcy was the representative of a family which could trace its
descent from the times of the Conqueror,--an advantage which they valued
above the hereditary possessions of their fathers; and if an advantage
ought to be estimated by its durability, they were in the right; for
the former, of necessity, was improved by time, the latter seemed
tending towards decline. Frederick De Courcy was suffered to follow his
inclinations in entering the army; because that was the profession the
most suitable to the dignity of an ancient house. That it was of all
professions the least likely to improve his fortune, was a consideration
equally despised by his father and himself. When he attained his
seventeenth year, a commission was purchased for him. Stored with
counsels sufficient, if he followed them, to conduct him to wisdom and
happiness, and with money sufficient to make these counsels of no avail,
he set out from his paternal home to join his regiment. Thus was De
Courcy, in his dangerous passage from youth to manhood, committed to the
guidance of example, and the discretion belonging to his years;
fortified, indeed, by the injunctions of his parents, and his own
resolutions, never to disgrace his descent. This bulwark, he soon found,
was too weak to resist the number and variety of the weapons which
attacked him. The shafts of ridicule assailed him; his own passions took
up arms; his pride itself turned against him. Unable to resist with
vigour, he ceased to resist at all; and was hurried into every folly in
which his companions wished for the assistance of his purse, or the
countenance of his example.
His father's liberal allowance was soon insufficient to supply his
extravagance. He contracted debts. After severe but well-merited
reproof, his father paid them; and De Courcy promised amendment. A whole
week of strict sobriety ensued; and the young soldier was convinced that
his resolution was immutable. And so he would probably have found it, if
now, for the first time since man was made, temptation had become weaker
by victory, or virtue stronger by defeat. But though he had tasted the
glittering bait of folly, and though he at times confessed its
insipidity, the same lure again prevailed, and De Courcy was again
entangled in pecuniary embarrassments. What was to be done? His father
had declared his irrevocable determination no further to injure the
interests of his younger children by supplying the prodigality of the
eldest. By the advice of a veteran in profusion, De Courcy had recourse
to Jews. As it was in his father's power to disinherit him, it was
necessary to conceal these transactions; and the high spirit of
Frederick was compelled to submit to all the evasions, embarrassments,
and wretchedness that attend a clandestine course of action.
Often did he illustrate the trite observation that no life is more
remote from happiness than a life of pleasure. The reward of all his
labour was satiety; the wages of all his self-reproaches were the
applause of the thoughtless for his spirit; the lamentations of the
wise, that an honourable mind should be so perverted. In his
twenty-second year, his father's death left him at liberty to pay his
old debts, and to contract new. That which has preserved the virtue of
many young men, prevented the total ruin of De Courcy. He became
attached to a virtuous woman; and, influenced much by inclination, more
by the wishes of her friends, she married him.
Mrs De Courcy brought no dower except the beauty which had captivated
her husband, the sweetness which prolonged her power, and the good sense
which made that power useful. She therefore did not think herself
entitled to remonstrate very warmly on the negligence that appeared in
the conduct of her husband's affairs; and it was not until after she
became a mother that she judged it proper to interfere. Her gentle
remonstrances, however, produced little effect beyond promises and vague
resolutions, that at some 'convenient season' the Major would examine
into the real state of his fortune.
Accident at last befriended her endeavours. Soon after the birth of her
second child (a daughter), a demand was made on De Courcy for a debt
which he had not the means of discharging. He could not apply to the
Jew; for he had solemnly pledged to Mrs De Courcy, that he would never
more have recourse to that ruinous expedient. He was discussing with his
wife the possibility of procuring the money by a new mortgage, while
Montague, then a child of four year's old, was playing in the room.
Struck by the melancholy tone of his mother's voice, the child forsook
his play, and taking hold of her gown, looked anxiously from one
mournful face to the other. 'I am as averse to it as you can be, my
dear,' said the Major, 'but there is no other way of raising the money.'
'Wait till I am a man, Papa,' said the child; 'and then Betty says, I
shall have a good two thousand pounds a-year, and I will give it all to
you. And here,' added he, searching his little pocket, 'here is my
pretty shilling that Captain Montreville gave me; take it, and don't
look sorry any more.' Mrs De Courcy passionately loved this child.
Overcome by the feeling of the moment, she clasped him in her arms. 'My
poor wronged child!' she exclaimed, and burst into tears.
These were the first words of bitterness which Major De Courcy had ever
heard from her lips; and overcome by them, and by her tears, he gave her
a hasty promise, that he would, that very hour, begin the examination
of his affairs. Sensible of her advantage, she permitted not his purpose
to slumber, but persuaded him to a full inquiry into the extent of his
debts; and in order to remove him from future temptation, she prevailed
on him to sell his commission, and reside at his paternal Norwood.
After selling so much of his estate as to clear the remainder from all
incumbrance, he found his income diminished to little more than a third
of its original extent. His family pride reviving at the sight of the
halls of his fathers, and a better affection awakening in his
intercourse with the descendants of those whom his ancestors had
protected, he determined to guard against the possibility of Norwood and
its tenants being transferred to strangers, and entailed the remains of
his property on Montague De Courcy, in the strictest form of English
law. For Mrs De Courcy he made but a slender provision. For his daughter
he made none: but he determined to save from his income a sum sufficient
to supply this deficiency. He was still a young man, and never thought
of doubting whether he might live long enough to accomplish his design,
or whether the man who had found an income of 2000 a-year too small for
his necessities, might be able to make savings from one of 800. In
spite of the soberness of the establishment, which during the novelty of
his reform he allowed Mrs De Courcy to arrange, he continued to find
uses for all the money he could command. His fields wanted inclosures;
his houses needed repairs; his son's education was an increasing
expence; and he died while Montague was yet a boy, without having
realized any part of his plans in favour of his daughter.
He left the highest testimony to the understanding and worth of Mrs De
Courcy, by making her the sole guardian of his children; and the steady
rectitude and propriety of her conduct justified his confidence. Aware
of the radical defect of every mode of education that neglects or severs
the domestic tie, yet convinced that the house where he was master, and
the dependents he could command, were dangerous scenes and companions
for a youth of Montague's spirit, she committed him to the care of a
clergyman, whose residence was a few miles distant from Norwood, and who
also took charge of four other boys of about the same age.
This gentleman was admirably fitted for his trust; for he had a
cultivated understanding, an affectionate heart, sound piety, and a calm
but inflexible temper. Add to which, he had travelled, and, in his
youth, associated much with men of rank, and more with men of talents;
though, since he had become a pastor, the range of his moral observation
had been narrowed to the hearts of a few simple villagers, which were
open to him as to their father and their friend. The boys studied and
played together, but they each had a separate apartment; for Mr
Wentworth had himself been educated at a public school, and never
recollected without shuddering, the hour when his youthful modesty had
shrunk from sharing his bed with a stranger, and when the prayer for his
parents, which he was mingling with his tears, had been disturbed by the
jokes of a little rabble.
Every Saturday did Montague bend his joyful course homewards, regardless
of summer's heat or winter storms. Every Sunday did his mother spend in
mixing the lessons of piety with the endearments of love; in striving to
connect the idea of a superintending God with all that is beautiful--all
that is majestic--in nature. As her children grew up, she unfolded to
them the peculiar doctrines of Christianity, so sublime, so consolatory,
so suitable to the wants of man. Aware how much occasion favours the
strength of impressions, she chose the hour of strong remorse on account
of a youthful fault, while the culprit yet trembled before the offended
Majesty of Heaven, to explain to her son the impossibility that
repentance should, of itself, cancel errors past, or that the great
Lawgiver should accept a few ineffectual tears, or a tardy and imperfect
obedience, as a compensation for the breach of a law that is perfect.
When she saw that the intended impression was made, she spoke of the
great atonement that once was offered, not to make repentance
unnecessary, but to make it effectual; and, from that time, using this
as one of the great landmarks of faith, she contributed to make it in
the mind of De Courcy a practical and abiding principle. The peculiar
precepts of Christianity she taught him to apply to his actions, by
applying them herself; and the praise that is so often lavished upon
boldness, dexterity, and spirit, she conscientiously reserved for acts
of candour, humility, and self-denial.
Her cares were amply rewarded, and Montague became all that she wished
him to be. He was a Christian from the heart, without being either
forward to claim, or ashamed to own, the distinction. He was industrious
in his pursuits, and simple in his pleasures. But the distinctive
feature of his character, was the total absence of selfishness. His own
pleasure or his own amusement he never hesitated to sacrifice to the
wishes of others; or, to speak more correctly, he found his pleasure
and amusement in theirs. Upon the whole, we do not say that Montague De
Courcy had no faults; but we are sure he had none that he did not strive
to conquer. Like other human beings, he sometimes acted wrong; but we
believe he would not deliberately have neglected a known duty to escape
any worldly misfortune; we are sure he would not deliberately have
committed a crime to attain any earthly advantage.
Desirous that her darling should enjoy the benefits of the most liberal
education, yet afraid to trust him to the temptations of an English
university, Mrs De Courcy went for some years to reside in Edinburgh
during the winter--in summer she returned with her family to Norwood. To
his private studies, and his paternal home, Montague returned with ever
new delight; for his tastes and his habits were all domestic. He had no
ambitious wishes to lure him from his retreat, for his wants were even
more moderate than his fortune. Except in so far as he could make it
useful to others, he had no value for money, nor for anything that money
could buy, exclusive of the necessaries of life, books, and implements
of chemistry. The profession which he had chosen was that of improving
and embellishing his estate; and, in the tranquil pleasures of a country
gentleman, a man of taste, a classical scholar, and a chemist, he found
means to occupy himself without injury to his health, his morals, or his
fortune. His favourite amusements were drawing and physiognomy; and,
like other favourites, these were sometimes in danger of making
encroachments, and advancing into the rank of higher concerns. But this
he prevented by an exact distribution of his time, to which he
resolutely adhered.
With his mother and his sister he lived in the most perfect harmony,
though the young lady had the reputation of a wit, and was certainly a
little addicted to sarcasm. But she was in other respects amiable, and
incapable of doing anything to offend her brother, whose indignation
indeed never rose but against cruelty, meanness, or deceit.
De Courcy had just entered his twenty-fifth year, when a rheumatic fever
deprived his mother of the use of her limbs; and, forsaking all his
employments, he had quitted his beloved Norwood to attend her in London,
whither she had come for the benefit of medical advice. He had been but
a few days in town when he met with Miss Montreville, and the impression
which her beauty made, the second interview tended to confirm.
Montague had never, even in imagination, been in love. The regulation of
his passions, the improvement of his mind, and the care of his property,
had hitherto left him no leisure for the tender folly. He had scarcely
ever thought of a young woman's face, except with a reference to
Lavater's opinion, nor of her manners, except to wonder how she could be
so obtrusive. But in contemplating Laura's face, he forgot the rules of
the physiognomist; and, in the interesting reserve of her manners, he
found continually something to desire. If, at the close of his visit, he
was not in love, he was at least in a fair way for being so. He was
assailed at once by beauty, grace, good sense, and sweetness; and to
these Laura added the singular charm of being wholly insensible to their
effects upon the beholder. No side glance was sent in search of
admiration; no care was taken to compose her drapery; no look of triumph
accompanied her judicious remarks; no parade of sensibility disgraced
her tenderness. Every charm was heightened by a matchless absence of all
design; and against this formidable battery had poor De Courcy to make
his stand, just at the inauspicious hour when, for the first time in his
life, he had nothing else to do.
CHAPTER XII
As soon as De Courcy was gone, Captain Montreville launched out warmly
in his praise. Laura joined in the eulogium; and, the next morning,
forgot that there was such a person in existence, when she read a letter
from Mrs Douglas, of which the following was a part.
'Before this reaches you, Colonel Hargrave will be far on his
way to London. It is possible that you may have no interest in
this journey; but, lest you should, I wish to prevent your
being taken by surprize. Since your departure he has repeatedly
visited us; and endeavoured, both directly and indirectly, to
discover your address. Perhaps you will think my caution
ill-timed; but I acted according to my best judgment, in
avoiding to comply with his desire. I think, however, that he
has elsewhere procured the information he wanted; for his
features wore an air of triumph, as he asked my commands for
you. Dear child of my affections, richly endowed as you are
with the dangerous gift of beauty, you have hitherto escaped,
as if by miracle, from the snares of folly and frivolity. My
hearts prayer for you is, that you may be as safe from the
dangers that await you, in the passions of others, and in the
tenderness of your own heart. But alas! my beloved Laura,
distant as I am from you, ignorant as I am of the peculiarities
of your situation, I can only pray for you. I fear to express
my conjectures, lest I should seem to extort your confidence. I
fear to caution, lest I should shock or offend you. Yet let me
remind you, that it is easier, by one bold effort, to reject
temptation, than to resist its continued allurements.
Effectually to bar the access of the tempter may cost a painful
effort--to parley with him is destruction. But I must stop.
Tears of anxious affection blot what I have written.
'E. DOUGLAS.'
The joyful expectation of seeing Hargrave filled for a time the heart of
Laura, and left no room for other thoughts. The first that found
entrance was of a less pleasing cast. She perceived that Mrs Douglas
suspected Hargrave of the baseness of deliberate seduction; and, with a
feeling of indignation, she collected her writing materials, and sat
down to exculpate him. But, as she again read her friend's expressions
of affection, and considered how little her suspicions were remote from
the truth, she accused herself of ingratitude and injustice in giving
way to any thing like resentment. She thanked Mrs Douglas for her
cautions; but assured her, that the proposals of Hargrave were
honourable, unequivocal, and sanctioned by her father; that they had
been rejected by herself; and, therefore, that no motive, except that of
vindicating him from an unfounded suspicion, should have tempted her to
betray, even to her most confidential friend, a secret which she thought
a woman bound, both in delicacy and in honour, to keep inviolable. She
did not once hint at the cause of her rejecting an offer so splendid,
nor show a trace of the inclination which she had so nobly sacrificed to
virtue, except what appeared in the warmth of her defence of her lover.
For, though she felt that her story would have raised her in her
friend's esteem, she scorned to purchase that advantage at the expence
of another, and retained all her aversion to exposing the faults of
Hargrave.
Having finished her letter, she returned to the more agreeable
contemplation, and began to calculate upon the time when she might
expect to see the Colonel. Her conclusion was, that he would probably
visit her on the following day, and her heart throbbed with delight at
the prospect.
But from the dream of joy, Laura soon returned to the more habitual
consideration of the line of conduct which it was fit that she should
pursue. She saw the folly of committing her happiness to the
guardianship of one whose passions were his masters; and, while it was
her daily prayer that she might not be led into temptation, her
conscience revolted from trusting her conduct to the guidance, her
virtue to the example, of a man whose principles were doubtful. For
Laura's virtue was not of that saint-errant kind that sallies forth in
quest of opportunities to signalize itself, and inflames its pride by
meditation on the wonders it would achieve, if placed in perilous
situations. Distrustful of herself--watchful to avoid occasions of
falling--she had no ambition for the dangerous glory of reforming a rake
into a good husband. She therefore adhered to her determination, that
she would not consent to a union with her lover, till, by a course of
virtuous conduct he had given proof that his offence had been the sudden
fault of a moment, not the deliberate purpose of a corrupted heart.
Yet even in this mitigated view, the recollection was poison to the soul
of Laura. The painful thought was far from new to her, that the passion
of Hargrave was a tribute to her personal charms alone. With such a
passion, even were its continuance possible, Laura felt that she could
not be satisfied. To be the object of it degraded her in her own eyes.
'No, no,' she exclaimed, covering her face with her hands, 'let me not
even legally occupy only the place which the vilest might fill. If I
cannot be the friend, the companion, as well as the mistress, better,
far better, were it that we should part for ever.'
No labour is sufficient to acquaint us fully with our own hearts. It
never occurred to Laura, that she was, as much as Hargrave, the captive
of mere externals; and that his character would never have deceived her
penetration, had it been exhibited in the person of a little red-haired
man, with bandy legs, who spoke broad Scotch, and smoked tobacco. Till
the hour when he had himself dispelled the illusion, the character of
Hargrave, such as she chose to imagine it, had been to her a theme of
the most delightful contemplation; and to its fascinations she had
willingly and entirely resigned herself. The disguise, which was rather
the excuse, than the cause of her passion, had been dropped in part; yet
the passion was as strong as ever. It was, indeed, no longer pleasing,
no longer blind, no longer paramount; for her reason, which had before
been silent, was now permitted to speak, and though it was unable to
conquer, it could control. She imagined the vehemence with which
Hargrave would urge her to shorten the term of his probation, and she
feared that she should find it difficult, perhaps impossible, to resist
his entreaties. She would not, therefore, expose her prudence to too
severe a trial. 'Yes,' said she, 'I will bar the access of the tempter.
I will see Hargrave only once, and that shall be to bid him farewell,
till the stipulated two years are finished. If he really loves me, his
affection will survive absence. If it fail in the trial, I may, though
lost to happiness, find in my solitude a peace that never can visit a
neglected wife.'
This philosophic conclusion was the fruit of her meditations during a
restless night; and having worked herself, as she thought, into a temper
decorously relentless, she proceeded, with all the consistency of her
sex, to adorn her person with a care she had never before bestowed upon
it. She arranged every curl for effect; chose a dress which shewed to
advantage the graceful slope of her shoulders; and heightened the
whiteness of her neck and arms, by contrasting it with fillets of jet.
Though she was but indifferently pleased with her success, it proved
sufficient for her occasions. The day passed away, and Hargrave did not
appear. Laura was disappointed, but not surprized; for it was barely
possible that he could have reached London on that day. On the
succeeding one she thought it likely that he might come; but the
succeeding one was equally barren of event.
On the third she was certain that he would arrive; and, when breakfast
was over, she seated herself in expectation at the window of the front
parlour, started if a carriage stopped, and listened to every voice that
sounded from below stairs. Half-desirous to escape her father's
observation, half-wishing that her interview with Hargrave should be
without witnesses, she persuaded Captain Montreville to go and pay his
respects to Mrs De Courcy. Anxiously she waited, conjectured, doubted,
reconsulted Mrs Douglas's letter. The Captain returned; the hours of
visiting passed away; and still no Hargrave came.
Unwilling to own, even to herself, the extent of her anxiety and
disappointment, Laura talked to her father of his visit, with which he
had been highly pleased. He had been amused with Harriet; charmed with
Mrs De Courcy; and doubly charmed with Montague, whom he praised as a
scholar and a man of sense, as an affectionate brother and a respectful
son; and, to crown all these commendations, he declared, that De Courcy
was more than a match for himself at chess.
When they retired for the night, Laura returned to her conjectures on
the cause of Hargrave's delay. She considered that he might have been
detained on the road, or that he might have found it necessary to make a
visit on his way. She had little doubt, that to see her was the object
of his journey to London at this unfashionable season. She had none,
that he would hurry to her the first moment that it was possible. By
degrees, she persuaded herself into an absolute certainty that she
should see him on the following day; and on that day, she again took her
anxious station in the parlour.
She was ashamed to lean over the window, and could not otherwise see who
entered the house; but she left the room door ajar, that she might have
warning of his approach, held her breath to distinguish the voices from
below, and listened eagerly to every footstep. At last, she imagined
that she heard the wished-for inquiry. She was sure some one pronounced
her name. A man's step ascended the stair; Laura trembled and her breath
came short. She feared to look up, and leant her face on her hand to
conceal her emotion.
The voice of her visitor made her start, and turn her head. It was
Warren!
Expectation had been wound up to its highest pitch, and Laura could not
instantly recover herself. She paid her compliments with a confusion and
trepidation, which Warren interpreted in a way most flattering to his
vanity. He approached her with a look, in which ill-suppressed triumph
contended with laboured condescension; and spoke to her in a voice that
seemed to say, 'Pray, endeavour to reassure yourself.' But Laura was in
no humour to endure his impertinence, and she seized the first
opportunity to leave the room.
Captain Montreville soon entered on the business in which he took such
painful interest, by inquiring whether any traces had yet been
discovered of the sale of his daughter's annuity. Warren, with abundance
of regret and condolence, informed him, that Williams had as yet been
able to discover no mention of the transaction in the books.
This assertion was so far true, that Williams had as yet seen no record
of the business in question; for which Mr Warren could, if he had
chosen, have given a very satisfactory reason. From the moment this
gentleman had first seen Laura, he had been determined not wilfully to
expedite her departure from London; and therefore he had casually
dropped a hint to his man of business, that, as he was already
overwhelmed with a multiplicity of affairs, it was unnecessary to hasten
a concern of such trivial importance; and that he might defer inquiring
into the sale of the annuity till he was at perfect leisure. Had he
insinuated to Williams, that this delay was detaining from his home a
man who could ill afford the consequent expence, or that it was alarming
a father for the future subsistence of his only child, the man of
business would have found leisure to investigate the matter, even if he
had subtracted the necessary time from his hours of rest. But the
upright Mr Warren had given no such intimation; and in this honourable
transaction, he was, for the present, secure from detection, for he knew
that business had called his agent to a distance from London.
Captain Montreville knew not what to think. He could not doubt the
integrity of Mr Baynard, nor could he imagine to what purpose Warren
should deny the transaction; since, if it had really taken place, the
vouchers of it must be found among his deceased friend's papers. He was
persuaded that to examine the books according to the date of the sale,
would be the work of only a few hours; and again he inquired whether the
necessary examination had taken place. Mr Warren answered, that he could
not take it upon him to say that every possible search had yet been
made; but his agent, he said, had examined all the most probable records
of the concern, and would, on his return to town, make a still more
particular scrutiny.
With this unsatisfactory answer, Captain Montreville was obliged to
content himself. He had only one alternative--either to wait in London
the appointment of the person who was to arrange Mr Baynard's papers, or
to return to Scotland, and resign all hopes of the annuity. He feared,
too, to offend Warren by urging him too strongly, since, even should a
voucher of the payment of his 1500 be found, the informality in the
deed would still leave room for litigation. No merely personal interest
would have induced the high spirit of Montreville to conciliate a man
whom he despised as a fool and a coxcomb.--For nothing that concerned
himself alone, would he have submitted to the trouble and anxiety which
he had lately undergone. Ill calculated by nature to struggle with
difficulties, he had long been accustomed to let the lesser disasters
glide by without notice, and to sink, without effort, under the greater.
Disappointed in the woman of his choice, and deprived, by her folly or
perverseness, of the domestic pleasures which he loved, his mind had
taken a cast of melancholy. Early secluded from society, and tormented
by the temper of his wife, he had concentrated all the affections which
solitude confined, and caprice rejected, upon one object: and Laura
became the passion of his soul. The thought of leaving her destitute, of
leaving her sensibility to the scorns, her beauty to the temptations of
poverty, was more than he could bear, and it sometimes almost
overpowered him. He was naturally inclined to indolence, and as, like
all indolent people, he was the creature of habit, his spirits had
suffered much from the loss of the woman who, though too heartless for a
friend, and too bitter for a companion, had, for twenty years, served
him as a sort of stimulus. The same force of habit, joined to her
improving graces and confirming worth, made Laura daily more dear to
him, and he would willingly have given his life to secure her
independence and happiness.
Brooding on the obscurity in which she must remain, whom he judged
worthy to adorn the highest station--on the poverty which awaited her
during his life--on the want to which his death must consign
her,--removed from his habitual occupations, and deprived of the
wholesome air, and exhilarating exercises to which he had long been
accustomed, he allowed his spirits to grow daily more depressed. Along
with the idea of the misfortunes which his death would bring upon his
darling, the fear of death settled on his mind. The little ailments to
which the sedentary are liable, he magnified into the symptoms of mortal
disease; and momentary pain seemed to his fancy to foretell sudden
dissolution. Montreville was fast sinking into a melancholy
hypochondriac.
His daughter's spirits, too, failed under continued expectation, and
continued disappointment; for day after day passed on, and still
Hargrave came not. Her father's dejection increased her own, and her
ill-disguised depression had a similar effect on him. While, however,
Captain Montreville gave way without effort to his feelings, the more
vigorous mind of Laura struggled to suppress the sorrow which she saw
was contagious. She sometimes prevailed upon her father to seek
amusement abroad, sometimes endeavoured to amuse him at home. She read
to him, sung to him, exerted all her conversation talent to entertain
him; and often, when all was in vain, when he would answer her by forced
smiles, languid gestures, or heavy sighs, she would turn aside to wipe
the tears from her eyes, then smile, and attempt her task again.
In these labours she had now, it is true, the assistance of an
intelligent companion. De Courcy came often; and the Captain seemed to
receive a pleasure from his visits, which even Laura's efforts could not
bestow. The tenderness of his child, indeed, appeared sometimes to
overpower him; for, when she was exerting herself to divert his
melancholy, he would gaze upon her for a while in an agony of fondness,
then suddenly desire to be left alone, and dismiss her from his
presence. But De Courcy's attentions seemed always welcome. He soothed
the irritated mind with respectful assiduities--he felt for its sickly
sensibility--and, though ignorant of the cause of Montreville's
dejection, found in alleviating it a pleasure, which was more than
doubled by the undisguised approbation and gratitude of Laura.
His sister, too, came to visit Miss Montreville, and, apologizing for
her mother, who was unable to accompany her, brought an invitation for
the Captain and his daughter to dine in Audley Street. Laura, in hopes
of amusing her father, prevailed on him to accept the invitation; and an
early day was fixed for the visit. She was pleased with the frankness
and gaiety of Harriet's manner, and her curiosity was roused by Captain
Montreville's praises of Mrs De Courcy.
The day arrived, and Laura prepared to accompany her father, not without
trepidation at the thought of entering, for the first time in her life,
a room which she expected to find full of strangers. When she had
finished dressing, he examined her with triumph; and thought that
nothing in nature was so perfect. The thought was legible in his
countenance, and Laura, with great simplicity, answered to it as if it
had been spoken. 'Except to please you,' said she, 'I wish I had been
neither tall nor pretty, for then I should have been allowed to move
about without notice.' 'Then, too,' thought she with a heavy sigh, 'I
should have been loved for my self, and not have been perhaps
forgotten.'
Laura was not ignorant of her own beauty, but no human being could less
value the distinction. She was aware of the regularity of her features;
but as she never used a looking-glass, unless for the obvious purpose of
arranging her dress, she was insensible of the celestial charm which
expression added to her face. The seriousness and dignity of her manners
made it difficult to address her with common-place compliment; and she
had accordingly never experienced any effect of her beauty, but one
which was altogether disagreeable to her, that of attracting notice. To
being the subject of observation, Laura retained that Caledonian dislike
which once distinguished her country-women, before they were polished
into that glitter which attracts the vulgar, and paid for the
acquisition by the loss of the timidity which, like the rugo of ancient
coin, adds value in the eye of taste to intrinsic worth, while it
shields even baser merit from contempt.
Laura's courage failed her when, throwing open the door of a large room,
Mrs de Courcy's servant announced Captain and Miss Montreville. But she
revived when she perceived that the company consisted only of the
mistress of the house, her son and daughter. Mrs de Courcy's appearance
seemed to Laura very prepossessing. She still wore the dress of a widow;
and her countenance bore the traces of what is called a green old age;
for though the hair that shaded her commanding forehead was silver
white, her dark eyes retained their brightness; and though her
complexion was pale, it glowed at times with the roses of youth. The
expression of her face, which was serious even to solemnity, brightened
with a smile of inexpressible benevolence, as she received her guests;
and, even in the difficulty with which she appeared to move, Laura found
somewhat interesting. Her air and manners, without a tincture of
fashion, spoke the gentlewoman. Her dress, her person, her demeanour,
every thing about her seemed consistently respectable. The dinner was
plain, but excellent. The few indispensable pieces of plate were antique
and massive; and the only attendant who appeared, seemed to have grown
gray in the service of the family. Laura had pleasure in observing, that
the reverence with which this old man addressed his lady, softened into
affectionate solicitude to please when he attended De Courcy, who, in
his turn, seemed to treat him with the most considerate gentleness.
Mrs De Courcy behaved to Laura with distinguished politeness; addressed
her often; endeavoured to draw forth her latent powers; and soon made
her sensible that the impression she had given, was no less favourable
than that which she had received. Montague's conversation had its
accustomed effect on Montreville, and the lively Harriet gave spirit to
the whole. The evening passed most agreeably; and Laura was sorry when
the hour of separation arrived. Mrs De Courcy courteously thanked her
for her visit, and begged her to repeat it; but Harriet sportively
objected: 'No, no,' said she, 'if you come back, you will not leave a
heart among all the household--even old John's seems in danger.'
'Well, Mamma,' continued she, when Laura was gone, 'what do you think of
my brother's beauty?' 'I think,' said Mrs De Courcy, 'that Montague's
praises did her no more than justice. She is the most lovely, the most
elegant woman I ever saw,' 'She is no doubt beautiful and interesting,'
returned Harriet; 'but I must still think she has too much of the
buckram of the old school to be elegant.' Montague bit his lip, and
tried, before he spoke, to ascertain that he was not angry. 'You are too
severe, Harriet,' said Mrs De Courcy. 'Miss Montreville's reserve is not
stiffness--it is not "buckram;" it is rather the graceful drapery,
embellishing what it veils.' 'Mother,' cried Montague, grasping her
hand, 'you have more candour, sense, and taste, than all the misses in
England.' 'Oh! pray, except Miss Montreville and the present company,'
said Harriet, laughing. 'She, you know, is all perfection; and I have
really candour, sense, and taste enough to admire her more than ever I
did any woman, except my little self.' De Courcy threw his arm around
her--'I see by that good-natured smile,' said he, 'that my dear Harriet
has at least candour enough to pardon the folly of a wayward brother.'
And, for the rest of the evening, he treated her with even more than his
usual attentive kindness.
From this day Miss De Courcy frequently accompanied her brother on his
visits to the Montrevilles, and Laura was a welcome guest in Audley
Street. By degrees Mrs De Courcy and she discovered the real worth of
each other's character, and their mutual reserve entirely disappeared.
Between Laura and De Courcy, almost from the first hour of their
acquaintance, there seemed (to use the language of romance) a sympathy
of souls;--an expression which, if it has any meaning, must mean the
facility with which simple, upright, undesigning minds become
intelligible to each other. Even the sarcastic Harriet found, in the
chaste propriety of Laura's character, something to command respect; and
in her gentleness and warmth of heart, something to engage affection;
while, in her ideas, which solitude had slightly tinged with romance,
though strong sense had preserved them from absurdity, and in her
language, which sometimes rose to the very verge of poetry, she found
constantly somewhat to interest and amuse.
Meanwhile Montreville's dejection seemed to increase; and Laura's health
and spirits, in spite of her efforts to support them, daily declined.
Hargrave did not appear, and vainly did she endeavour to account for his
absence. She at first conjectured that he had found it impossible to
leave Scotland at the time he proposed; but a second letter from Mrs
Douglas had mentioned his departure, and repeated the assurance that,
however obtained, he had information of Laura's address, since he had
undertaken to be the bearer of a letter from a neighbouring gentleman to
Captain Montreville.
She next supposed that he had stopped on the road, or quitted it on some
errand of business or pleasure--but a newspaper account of a fte
champtre at Lady Bellamer's elegant villa at Richmond, was graced,
among other fashionable names, with that of the handsome Colonel
Hargrave, nephew and heir of Lord Lincourt. No supposition remained to
be made, except the mortifying one, that three months of absence had
erased her image from the fickle heart of Hargrave. She, who had herself
consigned her lover to a banishment of two years, could not bear that
he should voluntarily undergo one of a few weeks. Nay, she had once
herself resigned him; but to be herself resigned without effort, was
more than she could endure. Her appetite, her sleep forsook her; her
ordinary employments became irksome; and even the picture, the price of
which was so soon to be necessary, she had not the spirits to finish.
But one who was accustomed every night to examine the thoughts and
actions of the day, was not likely to remain long a prey to inactive
melancholy. Not satisfied with languid efforts in the discharge of duty,
she reproached herself for every failure. She upbraided herself as a
wicked and slothful servant, who, when the means of usefulness were put
in her power, suffered them to remain unimproved; as a rebel who had
deserted the service of her rightful master, to bow to the worse than
Egyptian bondage of her passions. She accused herself of having given up
her love, her wishes, her hopes and fears, almost her worship, to an
idol; and no sooner did this thought occur to the pious mind of Laura,
than she became resigned to her loss. She even felt grateful--with such
gratitude as the wretch feels under the knife which amputates the morbid
limb.
Unused to let her self-reproaches pass without improvement, she
resolved, by vigorous efforts, to become herself again. She even called
in the aid of a decent pride. 'Shall I,' she cried, 'who have vowed to
overcome the world--I who have called myself by that glorious name, a
Christian, sink from these honours into a love-sick girl? Shall all my
happiness, all my duties, the comfort of my father, the very means of
his support, be sacrificed to a selfish passion? Or is a love, whose
transient duration has proved its degenerate nature, of such value to
me, that I must repay it with my whole heart and soul?'
These reflections were not made at once, nor were they at once
effectual; but, when made, they were called in as oft as the image of
Hargrave intruded unbidden; and constant and regular occupation was
again employed to second their operation. The picture was again resorted
to; but, as it afforded rather an unsocial employment, and as Laura's
company was more than ever necessary to her father, it proceeded but
slowly.
De Courcy was now a daily visitor. Sometimes he brought books, and would
spend hours in reading aloud, an accomplishment in which he excelled.
Sometimes he would amuse the Captain and his daughter by experiments in
his favourite science. With a gentleness peculiar to himself, he tried
to prevent the little annoyances to which hypochondriacs are subject.
He invented a hundred little indulgences for the invalid; and no day
passed in which Montreville was not indebted for some comfort, or some
amusement, to the considerate kindness of De Courcy. At times he would
gently rally the Captain on his imaginary ailments, and sometimes
prevailed on him to take the air in Mrs De Courcy's carriage: though to
such a height had fancy worked upon him, that Montague found it
impossible to persuade him that he was able to endure the fatigue of
walking.
To Laura, De Courcy's behaviour, uniformly respectful and attentive, was
sometimes even tender. But, accustomed to see love only in the
impassioned looks of Hargrave, to hear its accents only in his words of
fire, she did not recognize it in a new form; and to consider De Courcy
as a lover, never once entered her imagination. Captain Montreville was
more clear-sighted, and hence arose much of the pleasure which he took
in De Courcy's visits. Not that he was more knowing in the mysteries of
love than his daughter; but he took it for granted, that no mortal could
withstand her attractions; and he was persuaded that Laura would not
withhold her heart, where she so freely expressed approbation. This
opinion was a proof of the justice of the Captain's former confession,
'that women were creatures he did not understand.' Laura had never
praised Hargrave. She never shrunk from De Courcy's eye,--she never felt
embarrassed by his presence,--she treated him with the frankness of a
sister; and though she reserved her commendations for his absence, she
waited only for that to bestow them with all the warmth which his own
merit and his attentions to her father could demand.
Meanwhile the Captain did not, by a premature disclosure of his hopes,
endanger their completion; and De Courcy continued unconsciously to
foster in his bosom, a passion that was destined to destroy his peace.
CHAPTER XIII
The picture at last was finished, and Laura herself accompanied it to
the print-shop. Wilkins immediately delivered to her the price, which,
he said, had been for some time in his hands. It now occurred to Laura
to ask who had been the purchaser of her work. 'Why, Ma'am,' said
Wilkins, 'the gentleman desired me not to mention his name.' 'Indeed!'
said Laura surprised. 'These were his orders. Ma'am, but I shouldn't
think there could be any great harm in telling it just to you Ma'am.' 'I
have no wish to hear it,' said Laura, with a look which compelled the
confident to unwilling discretion; and again thanking him for the
trouble he had taken, she returned home. The truth was, that De Courcy
had foreseen the probability of Laura's question; and averse to be known
to her under a character that savoured of patronage and protection, had
forbidden the shopkeeper to mention who had purchased the pictures.
Again did Laura, delighted, present to her father the produce of her
labours, her warm heart glowing with the joys of usefulness. But not as
formerly did he with pleasure receive the gift. With the fretfulness of
disease, he refused to share in her satisfaction. Through the gloom of
melancholy, every object appeared distorted; and Captain Montreville saw
in his daughter's well-earned treasure only the wages of degrading toil.
'It is hard, very hard,' said he with a deep sigh, 'that you, my lovely
child, should be dependent on your daily labour for your support.' 'Oh
call it not hard, my dear father,' cried Laura. 'Thanks, a thousand
thanks to your kind foresight, which, in teaching me this blessed art,
secured to me the only real independence, by making me independent of
all but my own exertions.' 'Child,' said Montreville, fretfully, 'there
is an enthusiasm about you that will draw you into ten thousand
errors--you are quite mistaken in fancying yourself independent. Your
boasted art depends upon the taste, the very caprice of the public for
its reward; and you, of course, upon the very same caprice for your very
existence.' 'It is true,' answered Laura mildly, 'that my success
depends upon taste, and that the public taste is capricious; but some, I
should hope, would never be wanting, who could value and reward the
labours of industry--you observe,' added she with a smile, 'that I rest
nothing upon genius.' 'Be that as it may,' returned Captain Montreville,
with increasing querulousness, 'I cannot endure to see you degraded into
an artist, and, therefore, I desire there may be no more of this
traffic.'
This was the first time that Montreville had ever resorted to the method
well known and approved by those persons of both sexes, who, being more
accustomed to the exercise of authority than of argument, choose to
wield the weapon in the use of which practice has made them the most
expert. Laura looked at him with affectionate concern--'Alas!' thought
she, 'if bodily disease is pitiable, how far more deplorable are its
ravages on the mind.' But even if her father had been in perfect health,
she would not have chosen the moment of irritation for reply. Deeply
mortified at this unexpected prohibition, she yet endeavoured to
consider it as only one of the transient caprices of illness, and to
find pleasure in the thought, that the hour was come, when De Courcy's
daily visit would restore her father to some degree of cheerfulness.
But De Courcy's visit made no one cheerful. He was himself melancholy
and absent. He said he had only a few minutes to spare, yet lingered
above an hour; often rose to go, yet irresolutely resumed his seat. At
last, starting up, he said, 'the longer I remain here, the more
unwilling I am to go; and yet I must go, without even knowing when I
may return.' 'Are you going to leave us?' said Montreville, in a tone
of despondency, 'then we shall be solitary indeed.' 'I fear,' said
Laura, looking with kind solicitude in De Courcy's face, 'that something
distressing calls you away.' 'Distressing indeed,' said De Courcy. 'My
excellent old friend Mr Wentworth has lost his only son, and I must bear
the news to the parents.' 'Is there no one but you to do this painful
office?' asked Montreville. 'None,' answered De Courcy, 'on whom it
could with such propriety fall. Wentworth was one of my earliest
friends, he was my father's early friend. I owe him a thousand
obligations; and I would fain, if it be possible, soften this heavy
blow. Besides,' added he, endeavouring to speak more cheerfully, 'I have
a selfish purpose to serve,--I want to see how a Christian bears
misfortune.' 'And can you fix no time for your return?' asked the
Captain, mournfully. De Courcy shook his head. 'You will not return
while your presence is necessary to Mr Wentworth,' said Laura, less
anxious to regain De Courcy's society, than that he support the
character of benevolence with which her imagination had justly vested
him. Grieved by the prospect of losing his companion, fretted by an
indefinite idea that he was wrong in his ungracious rejection of his
daughter's efforts to serve him, ashamed of his distempered selfishness,
yet unable to conquer it, Captain Montreville naturally became more
peevish; for the consciousness of having acted wrong, without the
resolution to repair the fault, is what no temper can stand. 'Your
charity is mighty excursive Laura,' said he. 'If Mr De Courcy delays his
return long, I shall probably not live to profit by it.' Laura, whose
sweetness no captious expressions could ruffle, would have spoken to
turn her father's view to brighter prospects; but the rising sob choked
her voice, and courtesying hastily to De Courcy, she left the room. De
Courcy now no longer found it difficult to depart. He soon bade the
Captain farewell, promising to return as soon as it was possible, though
he had no great faith in Montreville's dismal prediction, uttered in the
true spirit of hypochondriasis, that he would come but to lay his head
in his grave.
As he was descending the stairs, Laura, who never forgot in selfish
feeling to provide for the comfort of others, followed him, to beg that
when he had leisure, he would write to her father. Laura blushed and
hesitated as she made this request, not because she had in making it any
selfish motive whatever, but purely because she was unused to ask
favours. Flattered by the request, but much more by her confusion, De
Courcy glowed with pleasure. 'Certainly I shall write,' said he with
great animation, 'if you--I mean if Captain Montreville wish it.' These
words, and the tone in which they were uttered, made Laura direct a look
of inquiry to the speaker's face, where his thoughts were distinctly
legible; and she no sooner read then, than, stately and displeased, she
drew back. 'I believe it will give my father pleasure to hear from you,
sir,' said she, and coldly turned away. 'Is there no man,' thought she,
'exempt from this despicable vanity--from the insignificant Warren to
the respectable De Courcy?' Poor Montague would fain have besought her
forgiveness for his presumption in supposing it possible that she could
have any pleasure in hearing of him; but the look with which she turned
from him, left him no courage to speak to her again, and he mournfully
pursued his way to Audley Street.
He was scarcely gone when Warren called, and Laura, very little
displeased for his company, took shelter in her own room. Her father,
however, suffered no inconvenience from being left alone to the task of
entertaining his visitor, for Warren found means to make the
conversation sufficiently interesting.
He began by lamenting the Captain's long detention from his home, and
condoled with him upon the effects which London air had produced upon
his health. He regretted that Mr Williams's absence from town had
retarded the final settlement of Montreville's business; informed him
that Mr Baynard's executors had appointed an agent to inspect his
papers; and finally, surprised him by an unconditional offer to sign a
new bond for the annuity. He could not bear, he said, to think of the
Captain's being detained in London to the prejudice of his health,
especially as it was evident that Miss Montreville's suffered from the
same cause. He begged that a regular bond might be drawn up, which he
would sign at a moment's notice, and which he would trust to the
Captain's honour to destroy, if it should be found that the 1500,
mentioned as the price of the annuity, had never been paid.
At this generous proposal, surprise and joy almost deprived Montreville
of the power of utterance; gratefully clasping Warren's hand, 'Oh, sir,'
he exclaimed, 'you have, I hope, secured an independence for my child. I
thank you--with what fervour, you can never know till you are yourself a
father.' Seemingly anxious to escape from his thanks, Warren again
promised that he would be ready to sign the bond on the following day,
or as soon as it was ready for signature. Captain Montreville again
began to make acknowledgements, but Warren, who appeared rather
distressed than gratified by them, took his leave, and left the Captain
to the joyful task of communicating the news to Laura.
She listened with grateful pleasure. 'How much have I been to blame,'
said she, 'for allowing myself to believe that a little vanity
necessarily excluded every kind and generous feeling. What a pity it is
that this man should condescend to such an effeminate attention to
trifles!' Lost to the expectation, almost to the desire of seeing
Hargrave, she had now no tie to London, but one which was soon to be
broken, for Mrs and Miss De Courcy were about to return to Norwood. With
almost unmixed satisfaction, therefore, she heard her father declare,
that in less than a week he should be on his way to Scotland. With
pleasure she looked forward to revisiting her dear Glenalbert, and
anticipated the effects of its quiet shades and healthful air upon her
father. Already she beheld her home, peaceful and inviting, as when,
from the hill that sheltered it, she last looked back upon its simple
beauties. She heard the ripple of its waters; she trod the well-known
path; met the kind familiar face, and listened to the cordial welcome,
with such joy as they feel who return from the land of strangers.
Nor was Montreville less pleased with the prospect of returning to his
accustomed comforts and employments--of feeling himself once more among
objects which he could call his own. His own! There was magic in the
word, that transformed the cottage at Glenalbert into a fairy
palace--the garden and the farm into a little world. To leave London
interfered indeed with his hopes of De Courcy as a lover for his
daughter; but he doubted not that the impression was already made, and
that Montague would follow Laura to Scotland.
His mind suddenly relieved from anxiety, his spirits rose, all his
constitutional good nature returned, and he caressed his daughter with a
fondness that seemed intended to atone for the captious behaviour of the
morning. At dinner he called for wine, a luxury in which he rarely
indulged, drank to their safe arrival at Glenalbert, and obliged Laura
to pledge him to the health of Warren. To witness her father's
cheerfulness was a pleasure which Laura had of late tasted so sparingly,
that it had the most exhilarating effect upon her spirits; and neither
De Courcy nor Hargrave would have been much gratified, could they have
seen the gaiety with which she supported the absence of the one, and the
neglect of the other.
She was beginning to enjoy one of those cheerful domestic evenings which
had always been her delight, when Miss Dawkins came to propose that she
should accompany her and her mother on a visit to Mrs Jones. Laura would
have excused herself, by saying, that she could not leave her father
alone; but the Captain insisted upon her going, and declared that he
would himself be of the party. She had therefore no apology, and,
deprived of the amusement which she would have preferred, contentedly
betook herself to that which was within her reach. She did not sit in
silent contemplation of her own superiority, or of the vulgarity of her
companions; nor did she introduce topics of conversation calculated to
illustrate either; but having observed that even the most ignorant have
some subject on which they can talk with ease and pleasure, and even be
heard with advantage, she suffered others to lead the discourse, rightly
conjecturing that they would guide it to the channel which they judged
most favourable to their own powers. She was soon engaged with Mrs
Dawkins in a dissertation on various branches of household economy, and
to the eternal degradation of her character as a heroine, actually
listened with interest to the means of improving the cleanliness,
beauty, and comfort of her dwelling.
Mrs Jones was highly flattered by the Captain's visit, and exerted
herself to entertain him, her husband being inclined to taciturnity by a
reason which Bishop Butler has pronounced to be a good one. Perceiving
that Montreville was an Englishman, she concluded that nothing but dire
necessity could have exiled him to Scotland. She inquired what town he
lived in; and being answered that his residence was many miles distant
from any town, she held up her hands in pity and amazement. But when she
heard that Montreville had been obliged to learn the language of the
Highlands, and that it was Laura's vernacular tongue, she burst into an
exclamation of wonder. 'Mercy upon me,' cried she, 'can you make that
outlandish spluttering so as them savages can know what you says? Well,
if I had been among them a thousand years, I should never have made out
a word of their gibberish.'
'The sound of it is very uncouth to a stranger,' said Captain
Montreville, 'but now I have learnt to like it.' 'And do them there wild
men make you wear them little red and green petticoats?' asked Mrs
Jones, in a tone of compassionate inquiry. 'Oh no,' said Captain
Montreville, 'they never interfered with my dress. But you seem quite
acquainted with the Highlands. May I ask if you have been there?' 'Aye,
that I have, to my sorrow,' said Mrs Jones; and forthwith proceeded to
recount her adventures, pretty nearly in the same terms as she had
formerly done to Laura. 'And what was the name of this unfortunate
place,' inquired the captain, when, having narrated the deficiency of
hot rolls, Mrs Jones made the pause in which her auditors were
accustomed to express their astonishment and horror. 'That was what I
asked the waiter often and often,' replied she, 'but I could never make
head or tail of what he said. Sometimes it sounded like A rookery;
sometimes like one thing, sometimes like another. So I takes the
roadbook, and looks it out, and it looked something like A rasher, only
not right spelt. So, thinks I, they'll call it A rasher, because there
is good bacon here; and I asked the man if they were famous for pigs;
and he said, no, they got all their pigs from the manufactory in
Glasgow, and that they weren't famous for any thing but fresh herrings,
as are catched in that black Loch-Lomond, where they wanted me to go.'
'Kate,' said Mr Jones, setting down his tea-cup, and settling his hands
upon his knees, 'you know I think you're wrong about them herrings.' 'Mr
Jones,' returned the lady, with a look that shewed that the herrings had
been the subject of former altercation, 'for certain the waiter told me
that they came out of the loch, and to what purpose should he tell lies
about it.' 'I tells you, Kate, that herrings come out of the sea,' said
Mr Jones. 'Well, that loch is a great fresh water sea,' said Mrs Jones.
'Out of the salt sea,' insisted Mr Jones. 'Aye,' said Mrs Jones, 'them
salt herrings as we gets here, but it stands to reason, Mr Jones, that
the fresh herrings should come out of fresh water.' 'I say, cod is
fresh, and does'n't it come out of the sea? answer me that, Mrs Jones.'
'It is no wonder the cod is fresh,' returned the lady, 'when the
fishmongers keep fresh water running on it day and night.' 'Kate, it's
of no use argufying, I say herrings come out of the sea. What say you,
Sir?' turning to Captain Montreville. The Captain softened his verdict
in the gentleman's favour, by saying, that Mrs Jones was right in her
account of the waiter's report, though the man, in speaking of 'the
loch,' meant not Loch-Lomond, but an arm of the sea. 'I know'd it,' said
Mr Jones triumphantly, 'for haven't I read it in the newspaper as
Government offers a reward to any body that'll put most salt upon them
Scotch herrings, and is'n't that what makes the salt so dear?' So having
settled this knotty point to his own satisfaction, Mr Jones again
applied himself to his tea.
'Did you return to Glasgow by the way of Loch-Lomond?' inquired Captain
Montreville. 'Ay,' cried Mrs Jones, 'that was what the people of the inn
wanted us to do; but then I looked out, and seed a matter of forty of
them there savages, with the little petticoats and red and white
stockings, loitering and lolling about the inn-door, doing nothing in
the varsal world, except wait till it was dark to rob and murder us all,
bless us! So, thinks I, let me once get out from among you in a whole
skin, and catch me in the Highlands again; so as soon as the chaise
could be got, we just went the way we came.' 'Did you find good
accommodation in Glasgow,' said the Captain. 'Yes,' replied Mrs Jones;
'but after all, Captain, there's no country like our own;--do you know,
I never got so much as a buttered muffin all the while I was in
Scotland?'
The conversation was here interrupted by an exclamation from Mrs
Dawkins, who, knowing that she had nothing new to expect in her
daughter's memoirs of her Scotish excursion, had continued to talk with
Laura apart. 'Goodness me!' she cried, 'why Kate, as sure as eggs,
here's Miss never seed a play in all her life!' 'Never saw a play! Never
saw a play!' exclaimed the landlord and landlady at once. 'Well, that's
so odd; but to be sure, poor soul, how should she, among them there
hills.' 'Suppose,' said Mrs Jones, 'we should make a party, and go
tonight.--We shall be just in time.' Laura was desirous to go: her
father made no objection; and Mr Jones, with that feeling of
good-natured self-complacency which most people have experienced,
arising from the discovery that another is new to a pleasure with which
he himself is familiar, offered, as he expressed it, 'to do the genteel
thing, and treat her himself.'
The party was speedily arranged, and Laura soon found herself seated in
the pit of the theatre. The scene was quite new to her; for her
ignorance of public places was even greater than her companions had
discovered it to be. She was dazzled with the glare of the lights, and
the brilliancy of the company, and confused with the murmur of
innumerable voices; but the curtain rose, and her attention was soon
confined to the stage. The play was the Gamester, the most domestic of
our tragedies; and, in the inimitable representation of Mrs Beverly,
Laura found an illusion strong enough to absorb for the time every
faculty of her soul. Of the actress she thought not; but she loved and
pitied Mrs Beverly with a fervour that made her insensible to the
amusement which she afforded to her companions. Meanwhile her
countenance, as beautiful, almost as expressive, followed every change
in that of Mrs Siddons. She wept with her; listened, started, rejoiced
with her; and when Mrs Beverly repulsed the villain Stukely, Laura's
eyes too flashed with 'heaven's own lightnings.' By the time the
representation was ended, she was so much exhausted by the strength and
rapidity of her emotions, that she was scarcely able to answer to the
questions of 'How have you been amused?' and 'How did you like it?' with
which her companions all at once assailed her. 'Well,' said Miss Julia,
when they were arrived at home, 'I think nothing is so delightful as a
play. I should like to go every night--shouldn't you?' 'No,' answered
Laura. 'Once or twice in a year would be quite sufficient for me. It
occupies my thoughts too much for a mere amusement.'
In the course of the two following days, Laura had sketched more than
twenty heads of Mrs Siddons, besides completing the preparations for her
journey to Scotland. On the third, the Captain, who could now smile at
his own imaginary debility, prepared to carry the bond to receive Mr
Warren's signature. The fourth was to be spent with Mrs De Courcy; and
on the morning of the fifth, the travellers intended to depart.
On the appointed morning, Captain Montreville set out on an early visit
to Portland Street, gaily telling his daughter at parting that he would
return in an hour or two, with her dowery in his pocket. When he knocked
at Mr Warren's door, the servant informed him that his master had gone
out, but that expecting the Captain to call, he had left a message to
beg that Montreville would wait till he returned, which would be very
soon.
The Captain was then shewn into a back parlour, where he endeavoured to
amuse himself with some books that were scattered round the room. They
consisted of amatory poems and loose novels, and one by one he threw
them aside in disgust, lamenting that one who was capable of a kind and
generous action should seek pleasure in such debasing studies. The room
was hung with prints and pictures, but they partook of the same
licentious character; and Montreville shuddered, as the momentary
thought darted across his mind, that it was strange that the charms of
Laura had made no impression on one whose libertinism in regard to her
sex was so apparent. It was but momentary. 'No!' thought he, 'her purity
would awe the most licentious; and I am uncandid, ungrateful, to harbour
even for a moment such an idea of the man who has acted towards her and
me with the most disinterested benevolence.'
He waited long, but Warren did not appear; and he began to blame himself
for having neglected to fix the exact time of his visit. To remedy this
omission, he rang for writing materials, and telling the servant that he
could stay no longer, left a note to inform Mr Warren that he would wait
upon him at twelve o'clock next day. The servant, who was Mr Warren's
own valet, seemed unwilling to allow the Captain to depart, and assured
him that he expected his master every minute; but Montreville, who knew
that there was no depending upon the motions of a mere man of pleasure,
would be detained no longer.
He returned home, and finding the parlour empty, was leaving it to seek
Laura in her painting-room, when he observed a letter lying on the
table addressed to himself. The hand-writing was new to him. He opened
it--the signature was equally so. The contents were as follows:--
'Sir,
The writer of this letter is even by name a stranger to you. If
this circumstance should induce you to discredit my
information, I offer no proof of my veracity but this simple
one, that obviously no selfish end can be served by my present
interference. Of the force of my motive you cannot judge,
unless you have yourself lured to destruction the heart that
trusted you,--seen it refuse all comfort,--reject all
reparation,--and sink at last in untimely decay. From a fate
like this, though not softened like this by anxious tenderness,
nor mourned like this by remorseless pity, but aggravated by
being endured for one incapable of any tender or generous
feeling, it is my purpose, Sir, to save your daughter. I was
last night one of a party where her name was mentioned;--where
she was described as lovely, innocent, and respectable; yet the
person who so described her, scrupled not to boast of a plan
for her destruction. In the hope (why should I pretend a better
motive) of softening the pangs of late but bitter
self-reproach, by saving one fellow-creature from perhaps
reluctant ruin, one family from domestic shame, I drew from him
your address, and learnt that to ingratiate himself with you,
and with his intended victim, he has pretended to offer as a
gift, what he knew that he could not long withhold. He means to
take the earliest opportunity of inveigling her from your care,
secure, as he boasts, of her pardon in her attachment. Ill,
indeed, does her character, even as described by him, accord
with such a boast; yet even indifference might prove no guard
against fraud, which, thus warned, you may defy. A fear that my
intention should be frustrated by the merited contempt attached
to anonymous information, inclines me to add my name, though
aware that it can claim no authority with a stranger.
'I am, SIR,
'Your obedient Servant,
'PHILIP WILMOT.'
Captain Montreville read this letter more than once. It bore marks of
such sincerity that he knew not how to doubt of the intelligence it
gave; and he perceived with dismay, that the business which he had
considered as closed, was as far as ever from a conclusion; for how
could he accept a favour which he had been warned to consider as the
wages of dishonour. For Laura he had indeed no fear. She was no less
safe in her own virtue and discretion, than in the contemptuous pity
with which she regarded Warren. This letter would put her upon her guard
against leaving the house with him, which Captain Montreville now
recollected that he had often solicited her to do, upon pretence of
taking the air in his curricle.
But must he still linger in London; still be cheated with vain hopes;
still fear for the future subsistence of his child; still approach the
very verge of poverty; perhaps be obliged to defend his rights by a
tedious law-suit? His heart sank at the prospect, and he threw himself
on a seat, disconsolate and cheerless.
He had long been in the habit of seeking relief from every painful
feeling in the tenderness of Laura,--of finding in her enduring spirit a
support to the weakness of his own; and he now sought her in the
conviction that she would either discover some advantage to be drawn
from this disappointment, or lighten it to him by her affectionate
sympathy. He knocked at the door.--She did not answer. He called
her.--All was silent. He rang the bell, and inquired whether she was
below, and was answered that she had gone out with Mr Warren in his
curricle two hours before. The unfortunate father heard no more. Wildly
striking his hand upon his breast, 'She is lost!' he cried, and sunk to
the ground. The blood burst violently from his mouth and nostrils, and
he became insensible.
The family were soon assembled round him; and a surgeon being procured,
he declared that Montreville had burst a blood vessel, and that nothing
but the utmost care and quiet could save his life. Mrs Dawkins, with
great humanity, attended him herself, venting in whispers to the surgeon
her compassion for Montreville, and her indignation against the
unnatural desertion of Laura, whom she abused as a methodistical
hypocrite, against whom her wrath was the stronger because she could
never have suspected her.
Montreville no sooner returned to recollection, than he declared his
resolution instantly to set off in search of his child. In vain did the
surgeon expostulate, and assure him that his life would be the forfeit:
his only answer was, 'Why should I live? She is lost.' In pursuance of
his design, he tried to rise from the bed on which he had been laid; but
exhausted nature refused to second him, and again he sunk back
insensible.
When Montreville called in Portland Street, the servant had deceived him
in saying that Warren was not at home. He was not only in the house,
but expected the Captain's visit, and prepared to take advantage of it,
for the accomplishment of the honourable scheme of which he had boasted
to his associates. As soon, therefore, as the servant had disposed of
Montreville, Warren mounted his curricle, which was in waiting at a
little distance, and driving to Mrs Dawkins's, informed Laura that he
had been sent to her by her father, who proposed carrying her to see the
British Museum, and for that purpose was waiting her arrival in Portland
Street. Entirely unsuspicious of any design, Laura accompanied him
without hesitation; and though Portland Street appeared to her greatly
more distant than she had imagined it, it was not till having taken
innumerable turns, she found herself in an open road, that she began to
suspect her conductor of having deceived her.
'Whither have you taken me, Mr Warren?' she inquired: 'This road does
not lead to Portland Street.' 'Oh yes, it does,' answered Warren, 'only
the road is a little circuitous.' 'Let us immediately return to the
straight one then,' said Laura. 'My father will be alarmed, and conclude
that some accident has happened to us.' 'Surely, my charming Miss
Montreville,' said Warren, still continuing to drive on, 'you do not
fear to trust yourself with me.' 'Fear you!' repeated Laura, with
involuntary disdain. 'No, but I am at a loss to guess what has
encouraged you to make me the companion of so silly a frolic. I suppose
you mean this for an ingenious joke upon my father.' 'No, 'pon my soul,'
said the beau, a little alarmed by the sternness of her manner, 'I meant
nothing but to have an opportunity of telling you that I am quite in
love with you,--dying for you,--faith I am.' 'You should first have
ascertained,' answered Laura, 'whether I was likely to think the secret
worth a hearing. I desire you will instantly return.'
The perfect composure of Laura's look and manner (for feeling no alarm
she shewed none) made Warren conclude that she was not averse to being
detained; and he thought it only necessary that he should continue to
make love, to induce her quietly to submit to go on for another half
mile, which would bring them to a place where he thought she would be
secure. He began, therefore, to act the lover with all the energy he
could muster; but Laura interrupted him. 'It is a pity,' said she, with
a smile of calm contempt, 'to put a stop to such well-timed gallantry,
which is indeed just such as I should have expected from Mr Warren's
sense and delicacy. But I would not for the sake of Mr Warren's
raptures, nor all else that he has to offer, give my father the most
momentary pain, and therefore if you do not suffer me to alight this
instant, I shall be obliged to claim the assistance of passengers on an
occasion very little worthy of their notice.' Her contumelious manner
entirely undeceived her companion in regard to her sentiments; but it
had no other effect upon him, except that of adding revenge to the
number of his incitements; and perceiving that they were now at a short
distance from the house whither he intended to convey her, he continued
to pursue his way.
Laura now rose from her seat, and seizing the reins with a force that
made the horses rear, she coolly chose that moment to spring from the
curricle; and walked back towards the town, leaving her inammorato in
the utmost astonishment at her self-possession, as well as rage at her
disdainful treatment.
She proceeded till she came to a decent-looking shop, where she entered;
and, begging permission to sit down, dispatched one of the shop-boys in
search of a hackney-coach. A carriage was soon procured, and Laura,
concluding that her father, tired of waiting for her, must have left
Portland Street, desired to be driven directly home.
As she entered the house, she was met by Mrs Dawkins. 'So Miss,' cried
she, 'you have made a fine spot of work on't. You have murdered your
father.' 'Good heavens!' cried Laura, turning as pale as death, 'what is
it you mean? where is my father?' 'Your father is on his deathbed Miss,
and you may thank your morning rides for it. Thinking you were off, he
burst a blood-vessel in the fright, and the doctor says, the least stir
in the world will finish him.'
Laura turned sick to death. Cold drops stood upon her forehead; and she
shook in every limb. She made an instinctive attempt to ascend the
stair; but her strength failed her, and she sunk upon the steps. The
sight of her agony changed in a moment Mrs Dawkins's indignation to
pity. 'Don't take on so, Miss,' said she, 'to be sure you didn't mean
it. If he is kept quiet, he may mend still, and now that you're come
back too.--By the bye, I may as well run up and tell him.' 'Oh stop!'
cried Laura, reviving at once in the sudden dread that such incautious
news would destroy her father, 'Stay,' said she, pressing with one hand
her bursting forehead, while with the other she detained Mrs
Dawkins.--'Let me think, that we may not agitate him. Oh no! I cannot
think;' and leaning her head on Mrs Dawkins' shoulder, she burst into an
agony of tears.
These salutary tears restored her recollection, and she inquired
whether the surgeon, of whom Mrs Dawkins had spoken, was still in the
house. Being answered, that he was in Montreville's apartment, she sent
to beg that he would speak with her. He came, and she entreated him to
inform her father, with the caution which his situation required, that
she was returned and safe. She followed him to the door of Montreville's
apartment, and stood listening in trembling expectation to every thing
that stirred within. At last she received the wished-for summons. She
entered; she sprang towards the bed. 'My child!' cried Montreville, and
he clasped her to his bosom, and sobbed aloud. When he was able to
speak, 'Oh Laura,' said he, 'tell me again that you are safe, and say by
what miracle, by what unheard-of mercy, you have escaped.' 'Compose
yourself, my dearest father, for Heaven's sake,' cried Laura. 'I am
indeed safe, and never have been in danger. When Warren found that I
refused to join in his frolic, he did not attempt to prevent me from
returning home.' She then briefly related the affair as it had appeared
to her, suppressing Warren's rhapsodies, from the fear of irritating her
father; and he, perceiving that she considered the whole as a frolic,
frivolous in its intention, though dreadful in its effects, suffered her
to remain in that persuasion. She passed the night by his bed-side,
devoting every moment of his disturbed repose to fervent prayers for his
recovery.
CHAPTER XIV
From feverish and interrupted sleep, Montreville awoke unrefreshed; and
the surgeon, when he repeated his visit, again alarmed Laura with
representations of her father's danger, and assurances that nothing but
the most vigilant attention to his quiet could preserve his life. The
anguish with which Laura listened to this sentence she suppressed, lest
it should injure her father. She never approached him but to bring
comfort; she spoke to him cheerfully, while the tears forced themselves
to her eyes; and smiled upon him while her heart was breaking. She felt
what he must suffer, should the thought occur to him that he was about
to leave her to the world, unfriended and alone; and she never mentioned
his illness to him unless with the voice of hope. But of the danger
which she strove to disguise, Montreville was fully sensible; and though
he forbore to shock her by avowing it explicitly, he could not, like
her, suppress his fears. He would sometimes fervently wish that he could
see his child safe in the protection of Mrs Douglas; and sometimes, when
Laura was bending over him in the tenderest sympathy, he would clasp her
neck, and cry, with an agony that shook his whole frame, 'What--Oh what
will become of thee!'
He seemed anxious to know how long Mrs De Courcy was to remain in town,
and inquired every hour whether Montague was not returned. Full well did
Laura guess the mournful meaning of these questions. Full well did they
remind her, that when the De Courcy family left London, she with her
dying father would amidst this populous wilderness be alone. She
anticipated the last scene of this sad tragedy; when, amidst busy
thousands, a senseless corpse would be her sole companion. She looked
forward to its close, when even this sad society would be withdrawn.
Human fortitude could not support the prospect; and she would rush from
her father's presence, to give vent to agonies of sorrow.
But the piety of Laura could half-invest misfortune with the character
of blessing; as the mists that rise to darken the evening sun are
themselves tinged with his glory. She called to mind the gracious
assurance which marks the afflicted who suffer not by their own guilt or
folly as the favoured of Heaven; and the more her earthly connections
seemed dissolving, the more did she strive to acquaint herself with Him,
from whose care no accident can sever. To this care she fervently
committed her father; praying that no selfish indulgence of her grief
might embitter his departure; and resolving by her fortitude to convince
him that she was able to struggle with the storm from which he was no
longer to shelter her.
The day succeeding that on which Montreville was taken ill had been set
apart for a farewell visit to Mrs De Courcy; and Laura's note of
mournful apology, was answered by a kind visit from Harriet. Unconscious
of the chief cause of her father's impatience for Montague's return,
Laura wishing to be the bearer of intelligence which she knew would
cheer him, inquired anxiously when Miss De Courcy expected her brother.
But De Courcy's motions depended upon the spirits of his venerable
friend, and Harriet knew not when he might be able to leave Mr
Wentworth. It was even uncertain whether for the present he would return
to town at all, as in another week Mrs De Courcy meant to set out for
Norwood. Laura softened this unpleasing news to her father; she did not
name the particular time of Mrs De Courcy's departure, and she suffered
him still confidently to expect the return of his favourite.
The next day brought a letter from De Courcy himself, full of
affectionate solicitude for the Captain's health and spirits; but
evidently written in ignorance of the fatal change that had taken place
since his departure. In this letter the name of Laura was not mentioned,
not even in a common compliment, and Montreville remarked to her this
omission. 'He has forgotten it,' answered Laura,--'his warm heart is
full of his friend's distress and yours, and has not room for more
ceremony.' 'I hope,' said Montreville, emphatically, 'that is not the
reason.' 'What is then the reason?' inquired Laura; but Montreville did
not speak, and she thought no more of De Courcy's little omission.
Her father, indeed, for the present, occupied almost all her earthly
thoughts, and even her prayers rose more frequently for him than for
herself. Except during the visits of Montreville's surgeon, she was
Montreville's sole attendant; and, regardless of fatigue, she passed
every night by his bed-side, every day in ministering to his comfort.
If, worn out with watching, she dropt asleep, she started again at his
slightest motion, and obstinately refused to seek in her own chamber a
less interrupted repose. 'No,' thought she, 'let my strength serve me
while I have duties to perform, while my father lives to need my
efforts; then may I be permitted to sink to early rest, and the weary
labourer, while yet it is but mornings be called to receive his hire.'
The desertion of Hargrave, whom she had loved with all the ardour of a
warm heart and a fervid imagination, the death of her father so fast
approaching, her separation from every living being with whom she could
claim friendship or kindred, seemed signals for her to withdraw her
affections from a world where she would soon have nothing left to love
or to cherish. 'And be it so,' thought she,--'let me no longer grovel
here in search of objects which earth has not to offer--objects fitted
for unbounded and unchangeable regard. Nor let me peevishly reject what
this world really has to give, the opportunity to prepare for a better.
This it bestows even on me; and a few childish baubles are all else that
it reserves for those who worship it with all their soul, and strength,
and mind.'
No mortal can exist without forming some wish or hope. Laura hoped
that she should live while she could be useful to her father; and she
wished that she might not survive him. One only other wish she had,
and that was for De Courcy's return; for Montreville, whose spirits more
than shared his bodily languor, now seldom spoke, but to express his
longing for the presence of his favourite. Laura continued to cheer him
with a hope which she herself no longer felt; for now three days only
remained ere Mrs De Courcy was to quit London. The departure of their
friends Laura resolved to conceal from her father, that, believing them
to be near, he might feel himself the less forlorn; and this she thought
might be practicable, as he had never since his illness expressed any
wish to quit his bed, or to see Miss De Courcy when she came.
In Montreville's darkened apartment, without occupation but in her cares
for him, almost without rest, had Laura passed a week, when she was one
morning summoned from her melancholy charge, to attend a visitor. She
entered the parlour. 'Mr De Courcy!' she exclaimed, springing joyfully
to meet him, 'thank Heaven you are come!' But not with equal warmth did
De Courcy accost her. The repulsive look she had given him at parting
was still fresh in his recollection; and, with a respectful distant bow,
he expressed his sorrow for Captain Montreville's illness. 'Oh he is
ill, indeed!' said Laura, the faint hectic of pleasure fading suddenly
from her cheek. 'Earnestly has he longed for your return; and we
feared,' said she, with a violent effort suppressing her tears, 'we
feared that you might not have come till--till all was over.' 'Surely
Miss Montreville,' said De Courcy, extremely shocked, 'surely you are
causelessly alarmed.' 'Oh no,' cried Laura, 'he cannot live!' and no
longer able to contain her emotion, she burst into a passion of tears.
Forced entirely from his guard by her grief, Montague threw himself on
the seat beside her. 'Dearest of human beings,' he exclaimed, 'Oh that I
could shield thee from every sorrow!' But absorbed in her distress,
Laura heeded him not; and the next moment, sensible of his imprudence,
he started from her side, and retreated to a distant part of the room.
As soon as she was again able to command herself, she went to inform her
father of De Courcy's arrival. Though told with the gentlest caution,
Montreville heard the news with extreme emotion. He grasped Laura's
hand; and, with tears of joy streaming down his pale cheeks,
said,--'Heaven be praised! I shall not leave thee quite desolate.' Laura
herself felt less desolate and she rejoiced even for herself, when she
once more saw De Courcy seated beside her father.
It was only the morning before, that a letter from Harriet had informed
her brother of Montreville's illness and of Laura's distress. To hear of
that distress, and to remain at a distance was impossible; and Montague
had left Mr Wentworth's within the hour. He had travelled all night;
and, without even seeing his mother and sister, had come directly to
Captain Montreville's lodgings. He was shocked at the death-like looks
of Montreville, and still more at those of Laura. Her eyes were sunk,
her lips colourless, and her whole appearance indicated that she was
worn out with fatigue and wretchedness. Yet De Courcy felt, that never
in the bloom of health and beauty, had she been so dear to him, and
scarcely could he forbear from addressing her in the accents of
compassion and love. Montreville wishing to speak with him alone, begged
of Laura to leave him for a while to De Courcy's care, and endeavour to
take some rest. She objected that Montague had himself need of rest,
having travelled all night; but when he assured her, that even if she
drove him away he would not attempt to sleep, she consented to retire,
and seek the repose of which she was so much in want.
When they were alone, Montreville shewed De Courcy the warning letter;
and related to him the baseness of Warren and Laura's escape. Montague
listened to him with intense interest. He often changed colour, and his
lips quivered with emotion; and, when her father described the manner in
which she had accomplished her escape, he exclaimed with enthusiasm,
'Yes, she is superior to every weakness, as she is alive to every gentle
feeling.' Montreville then dwelt upon her unremitting care of him--on
the fortitude with which she suppressed her sorrow, even while its
violence was perceptibly injuring her health. 'And is it to be wondered
at,' said he, 'that I look forward with horror to leaving this lovely
excellent creature in such a world, alone and friendless?' 'She shall
never be friendless,' cried De Courcy. 'My mother, my sister, shall be
her friends, and I will'--He stopped abruptly, and a heavy sigh burst
from him.
Recovering himself, he resumed, 'You must not talk so despondingly. You
will live long, I trust, to enjoy the blessing of such a child.'
Montreville shook his head, and remained silent. He was persuaded that
De Courcy loved his daughter, and would fain have heard an explicit
avowal that he did. To have secured to her the protection of Montague
would have destroyed the bitterness of death. Had Laura been the heiress
of millions, he would have rejoiced to bestow her and them upon De
Courcy. But he scorned to force him to a declaration, and respected her
too much to make an approach towards offering her to any man's
acceptance.
He was at a loss to imagine what reason withheld De Courcy from avowing
an attachment which he was convinced that he felt. When he considered
his favourite's grave reflecting character, he was rather inclined to
believe that he was cautiously ascertaining the temper and habits of the
woman with whom he meant to spend his life. But the warmth of
approbation with which he mentioned Laura, seemed to indicate that his
opinion of her was already fixed. It was possible, too, that De Courcy
wished to secure an interest in her regard before he ventured formally
to petition for it. Whatever was the cause of Montague's silence, the
Captain anticipated the happiest consequences from his renewed
intercourse with Laura; and he resolved that he would not, by any
indelicate interference, compel him to precipitate his declaration. He
therefore changed the conversation, by inquiring when Mrs De Courcy was
to leave town. Montague answered, that as he had not seen his mother
since his return, he did not exactly know what time was fixed for her
departure: 'but,' said he, 'whenever she goes, I shall only attend her
to Norwood, and return on the instant; nor will I quit you again, till
you are much, much better, or till you will no longer suffer me to
stay.' Montreville received this promise with gratitude and joy; and De
Courcy persuaded himself, that in making it, he was actuated chiefly by
motives of friendship and humanity. He remained with Montreville till
the day was far advanced, and then went to take a late dinner in Audley
Street.
Next morning, and for several succeeding days, he returned, and spent
the greatest part of his time in attending, comforting, and amusing the
invalid. He prevailed on his mother to delay her departure, that he
might not be obliged immediately to leave his charge. He soothed the
little impatiences of disease; contrived means to mitigate the
oppressiveness of debility; knew how to exhilarate the hour of ease; and
watched the moment, well known to the sickly, when amusement becomes
fatigue.
Laura repaid these attentions to her father with gratitude unutterable.
Often did she wish to thank De Courcy as he deserved; but she felt that
her acknowledgements must fall far short of her feelings and of his
deserts, if they were not made with a warmth, which to a man, and to a
young man, she revolted from expressing. She imagined, too, that to one
who sought for friendship, mere gratitude might be mortifying; and that
it might wound the generous nature of Montague to be thanked as a
benefactor, where he wished to be loved as an equal. She therefore did
not speak of, or but slightly mentioned, her own and her father's
obligations to him; but she strove to repay them in the way that would
have been most acceptable to herself, by every mark of confidence and
good will. Here no timidity restrained her; for no feeling that could
excite timidity at all mingled with her regard for De Courcy. But,
confined to her own breast, her gratitude became the stronger; and if
she had now had a heart to give, to Montague it would have been freely
given.
Meanwhile the spirits of Montreville lightened of a heavy load, by the
assurance that, even in case of his death, his daughter would have a
friend to comfort and protect her, his health began to improve. He was
able to rise; and one day, with the assistance of Montague's arm,
surprised Laura with a visit in the parlour. The heart of Laura swelled
with transport when she saw him once more occupy his accustomed seat in
the family-room, and received him as one returned from the grave. She
sat by him, holding his hand between her own, but did not try to speak.
'If it would not make you jealous, Laura,' said Montreville, 'I should
tell you that Mr De Courcy is a better nurse than you are. I have
recruited wonderfully since he undertook the care of me. More indeed
than I thought I should ever have done.' Laura answered only by glancing
upon De Courcy a look of heartfelt benevolence and pleasure. 'And yet,'
said Montague, 'it is alleged that no attentions from our own sex are so
effectual as those which we receive from the other. How cheaply would
bodily suffering purchase the sympathy, the endearments of'--the name of
Laura rose to his lips, but he suppressed it, and changed the expression
to 'an amiable woman.' 'Is it indeed so?' cried Laura, raising her eyes
full of grateful tears to his face. 'Oh then, if sickness or sorrow must
be your portion, may your kindness here be repaid by some spirit of
peace in woman's form--some gentleness yet more feminine than De
Courcy's!'
The enthusiasm and gratitude had hurried Laura into a warmth which the
next moment covered her with confusion; and she withdrew her eyes from
De Courcy's face before she had time to remark the effect of these, the
first words of emotion that ever she had addressed to him. The transport
excited by the ardour of her expressions, and the cordial approbation
which they implied, instantly gave way to extreme mortification. 'She
wishes,' thought he, 'that some woman may repay me. She would then,
not only with indifference, but with pleasure, see me united to another;
resign me without a pang to some mere common-place insipid piece of
sweetness; and give her noble self to one who could better feel her
value.'
De Courcy had never declared his preference for Laura; he was even
determined not to declare it. Yet to find that she had not even a wish
to secure it for herself, gave him such acute vexation, that he was
unable to remain in her presence. He abruptly rose and took his leave.
He soon however reproached himself with the unreasonableness of his
feelings; and returned to his oft-repeated resolution to cultivate the
friendship without aspiring to the love of Laura. He even persuaded
himself that he rejoiced in her freedom from a passion which could not
be gratified without a sacrifice of the most important duties. He had a
sister for whom no provision had been made; a mother, worthy of his
warmest affection, whose increasing infirmities required increased
indulgence. Mrs De Courcy's jointure was a very small one; and though
she consented for the present to share the comforts of his
establishment, Montague knew her too well to imagine that she would
accept of any addition to her income, deducted from the necessary
expences of his wife and family. His generous nature revolted from
suffering his sister to feel herself a mere pensioner on his bounty, or
to seek dear-bought independence in a marriage of convenience, a sort of
bargain upon which he looked with double aversion, since he had himself
felt the power of an exclusive attachment.
Here even his sense of justice was concerned; for he knew that, if his
father had lived, it was his intention to have saved from his income a
provision for Harriet. From the time that the estate devolved to
Montague, he had begun to execute his father's intention; and he had
resolved, that no selfish purpose should interfere with its fulfilment.
The destined sum, however, was as yet little more than half collected,
and it was now likely to accumulate still more slowly; for, as Mrs De
Courcy had almost entirely lost the use of her limbs, a carriage was to
her an absolute necessary of life.
Most joyfully would Montague have sacrificed every luxury, undergone
every privation, to secure the possession of Laura; but he would not
sacrifice his mother's health nor his sister's independence to any
selfish gratification; nor would he subject the woman of his choice to
the endless embarrassments of a revenue too small for its purposes.
These reasons had determined him against addressing Laura. At their
first interview he had been struck with her as the most lovely woman he
had ever beheld; but he was in no fear that his affections should be
entangled. They had escaped from a hundred lovely women, who had done
their utmost to ensnare them, while she was evidently void of any such
design. Besides, Montreville was his old friend, and it was quite
necessary that he should visit him. Laura's manners had charmed De
Courcy as much as her person. Still might not a man be pleased and
entertained, without being in love? Further acquaintance gradually laid
open to him the great and amiable qualities of her mind, and was it not
natural and proper to love virtue? but this was not being in love.
Symptoms at last grew so strong upon poor De Courcy, that he could no
longer disguise them from himself; but it was pleasing to love
excellence. He would never reveal his passion. It should be the secret
joy of his heart; and why cast away a treasure which he might enjoy
without injury to any? Laura's love indeed he could not seek; but her
friendship he might cherish; and who would exchange the friendship of
such a woman for the silly fondness of a thousand vulgar minds?
In this pursuit he had all the success that he could desire; for Laura
treated him with undisguised regard; and with that regard he assured
himself that he should be satisfied. At last this 'secret joy,' this
'treasure of his heart' began to mingle pain with its pleasures; and,
when called away on his mournful errand to Mr Wentworth, De Courcy
confessed, that it was wise to wean himself a little from one whose
presence was becoming necessary to his happiness, and to put some
restraint upon a passion, which from his toy was become his master.
Short absence, however, had only increased his malady; and Laura in
sorrow, Laura grateful, confiding, at times almost tender, seized at
once upon every avenue to the heart of De Courcy: he revered her as the
best, he admired her as the loveliest, he loved her as the most amiable
of human beings. Still he resolved that, whatever it might cost him, he
would refrain from all attempt to gain her love; and he began to draw
nice distinctions between the very tender friendship with which he
hoped to inspire her, and the tormenting passion which he must silently
endure. Happily for the success of De Courcy's self-deceit, there was no
rival at hand, with whose progress in Laura's regard he could measure
his own, and he never thought of asking himself what would be his
sensations if her very tender friendship for him should not exclude
love for another.
A doubt would sometimes occur to him, as to the prudence of exposing
himself to the unremitting influence of her charms, but it was quickly
banished as an unwelcome intruder, or silenced with the plea, that, to
withdraw himself from Montreville on a sick-bed, would outrage
friendship and humanity. He had, too, somewhat inadvertently, given his
friend a promise that he would not leave him till his health was a
little re-established; and this promise now served as the excuse for an
indulgence which he had not resolution to forego. After escorting Mrs De
Courcy to Norwood, he pleaded this promise to himself when he returned
to London without an hour's delay; and it excused him in his own eyes
for going every morning to the abode of Montreville, from whence, till
the return of night drove him away, he had seldom the resolution to
depart.
Meanwhile, with the health of her father, the spirits of Laura revived;
and considering it as an act of the highest self-denial in a domestic
man to quit his home--a literary man to suspend his studies--a young man
to become stationary in the apartment of an invalid, she exerted herself
to the utmost to cheer De Courcy's voluntary task. She sometimes
relieved him in reading aloud, an accomplishment in which she excelled.
Her pronunciation was correct, her voice varied, powerful, and
melodious, her conception rapid and accurate, while the expression of
her countenance was an animated comment upon the author.
De Courcy delighted to hear her sing the wild airs of her native
mountains, which she did with inimitable pathos, though without skill.
Her conversation, sometimes literary, sometimes gay, was always simply
intended to please. Yet, though void of all design to dazzle, it
happened, she knew not how, that in De Courcy's company she was always
more lively, more acute, than at other times. His remarks seemed to
unlock new stores in her mind; and the train of thought which he
introduced, she could always follow with peculiar ease and pleasure.
Safe in her preference for another, she treated him with the most
cordial frankness. Utterly unconscious of the sentiment she inspired,
she yet had an animating confidence in De Courcy's good will; and
sometimes pleased herself with thinking, that, next to his mother and
sister, she stood highest of women in his regard. No arts of the most
refined coquetry could have rivetted more closely the chains of the
ill-fated De Courcy; and the gratitude of the unconscious Laura, pointed
the shaft that gave the death wound to his peace.
How was it possible for her to imagine, that the same sentiment could
produce a demeanour so opposite as De Courcy's was from that of
Hargrave. Hargrave had been accustomed to speak of her personal charms
with rapture. De Courcy had never made them the subject of direct
compliment; he had even of late wholly discontinued those little
gallantries which every pretty woman is accustomed to receive. Hargrave
omitted no opportunity to plead his passion; and though the presence of
a third person of necessity precluded this topic, it restrained him not
from gazing upon Laura with an eagerness from which she shrunk abashed.
De Courcy had never mentioned love; and Laura observed that, when his
glance met her's, he would sometimes withdraw his eye with (as she
thought) almost womanly modesty. In her private interviews with
Hargrave, he had ever approached her with as much vehemence and freedom
of speech and manner, as her calm dignity would permit. Privacy made no
change in De Courcy's manner, except to render him a little more
silent--a little more distant; and to personal familiarity, he seemed to
be if possible more averse than herself; for if she accidentally touched
him, he coloured and drew back.
Some of these circumstances Montreville had remarked, and had drawn from
them inferences very different from those of his daughter. He was
convinced that the preference of De Courcy for Laura had risen into a
passion, which, for some unknown reason, he wished to conceal; and he
perceived, by the ease of her behaviour, that Montague's secret was
unsuspected by her. Most anxiously did he wish to know the cause of his
favourite's silence, and to discover whether it was likely to operate
long. In Laura's absence, he sometimes led the conversation towards the
subject; but De Courcy never improved the offered opportunity. Partly in
the hope of inviting equal frankness, Montreville talked of his own
situation, and mentioned the motive of his journey to London. Montague
inquired into every particular of the business, and rested not till he
had found Mr Baynard's executor, and received from him an
acknowledgement, that he had in his possession a voucher for the payment
of Montreville's fifteen hundred pounds to Warren.
He next, without mentioned the matter to the Captain, called upon
Warren, with an intention finally to conclude the business; thinking it
impossible that, since the payment of the money was ascertained, he
could refuse either to pay the annuity, or refund the price of it. But
the disdain of Laura yet rankled in the mind of Warren, and he
positively refused to bring the affair to any conclusion, declaring,
that he would litigate it to the last sixpence he was worth; to which
declaration he added an excellent joke concerning the union of Scotch
pride with Scotch poverty. At this effrontery the honest blood of De
Courcy boiled with indignation, and he was on the point of vowing, that
he too would beggar himself, rather than permit such infamous
oppression; but his mother, his sister, and Laura herself, rose to his
mind, and he contented himself with threatening to expose Warren to the
disgrace that he merited.
Warren now began to suspect that De Courcy was the cause of Laura's
contemptuous reception of his addresses, and, enraged at his
interference, yet overawed by his manly appearance and decided manner,
became sullen, and refused to answer Montague's expostulations. Nothing
remained to be done, and De Courcy was obliged to communicate to
Montreville the ill success of his negotiations.
Bereft of all hope of obtaining justice, which he had not the means to
enforce, Montreville became more anxiously desirous to regain such a
degree of health as might enable him to return home. In his present
state, such a journey was impracticable, and he was convinced, that
while he remained pent up in the polluted air of the city, his recovery
could advance but slowly. Some weeks must at all events elapse before he
could be in a condition to travel; and to accommodate his funds to this
prolonged demand upon them, he saw that he must have recourse to some
scheme of economy yet more humble than that which he had adopted.
He hoped, if he could recover strength sufficient for the search, to
find in the suburbs some abode of purer air, and still more moderate
expense than his present habitation. The former only of these motives he
mentioned to De Courcy; for though Montreville did not affect to be
rich, he never spoke of his poverty. Various circumstances, however, had
led De Courcy to guess at his friend's pecuniary embarrassment; and he
too had a motive which he did not avow, in the offer which he made to
secure a more healthful residence for Montreville.
Unwilling to describe the humble accommodation with which he meant to
content himself, or the limited price which he could afford to offer for
it, Montreville at first refused De Courcy's services; but they were
pressed upon him with such warmth, that he was obliged to submit, and
Montague lost no time in fulfilling his commission.
He soon discovered a situation that promised comfort. It was in the
outskirts of the town, a small flower-garden belonged to the house, the
apartments were airy and commodious, the furniture was handsome, and the
whole most finically neat. The rent, however, exceeded that of
Montreville's present lodgings; and De Courcy knew that this objection
would be insurmountable. That Laura should submit to the inelegancies of
a mean habitation, was what he could not bear to think of; and he
determined, by a friendly little artifice, to reconcile Montreville's
comfort with his economy. The surgeon had named two or three weeks as
the time likely to elapse before Montreville could commence his journey.
De Courcy paid in advance above half the rent of the apartments for a
month, charging the landlady to keep the real rent a secret from her
lodgers.
As far as the author of these memoirs has been able to learn, this was
the only artifice that ever Montague De Courcy practised in his life;
and it led, as artifices are wont to do, to consequences which the
contriver neither wished nor foresaw.
Much to his satisfaction, Montreville was soon settled in his new abode,
where De Courcy continued to be his daily visitor. A certain delicacy
prevented Laura from endeavouring to procure a reversal of her father's
decree, issued in a moment of peevishness, that she should paint no more
with a view to pecuniary reward. She felt that he had been wrong, and
she shrunk from reminding him of it, till her labours should again
become necessary. But, desirous to convey to Mrs De Courcy some token of
her remembrance and gratitude, she employed some of the hours which
Montague spent with her father, in labouring a picture which she
intended to send to Norwood. The subject was the choice of Hercules; and
to make her gift the more acceptable, she presented in the hero a
picture of De Courcy, while the form and countenance of Virtue, were
copied from the simple majesty of her own. The figure of Pleasure was a
fancied one, and it cost the fair artist unspeakable labour. She could
not pourtray what she would have shrunk from beholding--a female
voluptuary. Her draperies were always designed with the most chastened
decency; and, after all her toil, even the form of Pleasure came sober
and matronly from the hand of Laura.
Designing a little surprise for her friends, she had never mentioned
this picture to De Courcy; and as she daily stole some of the hours of
his visits to bestow upon it, it advanced rapidly. Montague bore these
absences with impatience; but Montreville, who knew how Laura was
employed, took no notice of them, and De Courcy durst not complain.
Three weeks had glided away since Montreville's removal to his new
lodgings, and he remained as much as ever anxious, and as much as ever
unable to guess the reason which induced De Courcy to conceal a passion
which evidently increased every day. He recollected that Montague had of
late never met Laura but in his presence, and he thought it natural that
the lover should wish to make his first application to his mistress
herself. He had an idea, that the picture might be made to assist the
denouement which he so ardently desired; and with this view he privately
gave orders that when next Mr De Courcy came he should be ushered into
the painting-room, which he knew would be empty, as Laura never quitted
him till De Courcy arrived to take her place.
Next morning accordingly Montague was shewn into the room which he had
himself destined for Laura, and, for that reason, supplied with many
little luxuries which belonged not to its original furniture. He looked
round with delight on the marks of her recent presence. There lay her
book open as she had quitted it, and the pencil with which she had
marked the margin. It was one which he himself had recommended, and he
thought it should ever be dear to him. On a table lay her port-folio and
drawing materials: in a corner stood her easel with the picture, over
which was thrown a shawl which he had seen her wear.
Not conceiving that she could have any desire to conceal her work, he
approached it, and, raising the cover, stood for a moment motionless
with surprise. The next, a thousand sensations, vague but delightful,
darted through his mind; but before he could give a shape or
distinctness to any one of them, the step approached that ever aroused
De Courcy to eager expectation, and letting drop the shawl, he flew
towards the door to receive Laura.
With rapture in his eyes, but confusion on his tongue, De Courcy paid
his compliments, and again turned towards the picture. Laura sprung
forward to prevent him from raising the covering. 'Is this forbidden,
then?' said he. 'Oh yes, indeed,' said Laura, blushing, 'you must not
look at it.' 'Can you be so mischievous,' cried De Courcy, a delighted
smile playing on his countenance, 'as to refuse me such a pleasure?' 'I
am sure,' said Laura, blushing again, and still more deeply, 'it could
give you no pleasure in its present state.' 'And I am sure,' said De
Courcy, ardently, 'it would give me more than I have language to
express.'
De Courcy's eagerness, and the consciousness of her own confusion, made
Laura now more unwilling that Montague should discover the cause of both
to be his own portrait, and actually trembling with emotion, she said,
putting her hand on the shawl to prevent him from raising it, 'Indeed I
cannot shew you this. There is my port-folio--look at any thing but
this.' 'And what inference may I draw as to the subject of a picture
that Miss Montreville will not shew to the most partial--the most
devoted of her friends?' 'Any inference,' replied Laura, still holding
the shawl, 'that friendship or charity will permit.' 'And must I not
remove this perverse little hand?' said De Courcy, laying his upon it;
for all prudence was forgotten in his present emotion. Laura, a little
offended at his perseverance, gravely withdrew her hand, and turned
away, saying, 'Since my wishes have no power, I shall make no other
trial of strength.' 'No power!' cried De Courcy, following her, 'they
have more force than a thousand arms.' 'Well,' said Laura, a little
surprised by his manner, but turning upon him a smile of gracious
reconciliation, 'your forbearance may hereafter be rewarded by a sight
of this important picture; but lest you should forfeit your recompense,
had we not better remove from temptation?'
She then led the way to the parlour, and De Courcy followed her in a
state of agitation that could not be concealed. He was absent and
restless. He often changed colour, seemed scarce sensible of what was
addressed to him, or began to reply, and the unfinished sentence died
upon his lips. At last, starting up, he pleaded sudden indisposition,
and was hurrying away. 'Do not go away ill and alone,' said Laura,
kindly detaining him. 'Walk round the garden--the fresh air will relieve
you.' 'No air will relieve me!' said De Courcy, in a voice of
wretchedness. 'What then can we do for you?' said Laura, with
affectionate earnestness. 'What can you do for me!' cried De Courcy,
'Oh nothing, nothing but suffer me to go, while yet I have the power.'
He then wrung Montreville's hand, and uttering something which his
emotion made inarticulate, without venturing a glance towards Laura, he
quitted the house, and returned home in a state bordering on
distraction.
He shut himself up in his chamber to consider of his situation, if that
can be called consideration, which was but a conflict of tumultuous
feeling. That Laura should have painted his portrait in a group where it
held such a relation to her own; that she should keep it concealed in an
apartment exclusively appropriated to herself; her alarm lest he should
examine it; her confusion, which had at last risen to the most
distressing height, from the idea of what De Courcy might infer, should
he discover that his own portrait was the cause of so many blushes; the
confiding affectionate matter in which she treated him,--all conspired
to mislead De Courcy. He felt a conviction that he was beloved, and, in
spite of himself, the thought was rapture.
But what availed this discovery? Could he forget the justice of his
sister's claims, sacrifice to his selfish wishes the comfort of his
mother, or wed his half-worshipped Laura to the distresses of an
embarrassed fortune? 'Oh no,' he cried, 'let not my passions involve in
disaster all that I love.'
Or could he lay open to Laura his feelings and his situation, and sue
for her love, even while their union must be delayed. Her attachment, he
thought, was yet in its infancy, born of gratitude, fostered by
separation from other society, and, for the present, pleasing in its
sensations, and transient in its nature. But he thought her capable of a
love as fervent--as deep-rooted as that which she inspired; and should
he wilfully awaken in her peaceful breast the cravings of such a passion
as tortured his own; see her spirits, her vigour of mind, her
usefulness, perhaps her health, give way to the sickness of 'hope
deferred!' No,--rather let her return to the indifference in which he
found her. Or, should he shackle her with a promise, of which honour
might extort a reluctant fulfilment, after the affection that prompted
it was perhaps withdrawn from him? Or, should he linger on from day to
day in vain endeavours to conceal his affection, dishonourably sporting
with the tenderness of the woman he loved, his ill-suppressed feelings
every hour offering a hope which must every hour be disappointed? No!
the generous heart of De Courcy would sooner have suffered a thousand
deaths.
But could he return--could he see again this creature, now more than
ever dear to him, and stifle the fondness--the anguish that would rend
his bosom at parting? Impossible! He would see her no more. He would
tear at once from his heart every hope--every joy--and dare at once all
the wretchedness that awaited him. In an agony of desperation, he rang
for his servant, ordered his horses, and in an hour was on his way to
Norwood, with feelings which the criminal on the rack need not have
envied.
CHAPTER XV
The next morning, while Montreville and his daughter were expecting,
with some anxiety the arrival of their daily visitor, a note was brought
which De Courcy had left in Audley Street, to be delivered after his
departure. Though nearly illegible, from the agitation in which it was
written, it contained nothing but the simple information, that he had
been suddenly obliged to leave London. It assigned no reason for his
journey--it fixed no period for his absence; and Montreville endeavoured
to hope that his return would not be distant. But day after day passed
heavily on, and De Courcy came not. Montreville again began to feel
himself a solitary deserted being; again became dejected; again became
the victim of real debility and fancied disease.
All Laura's endeavours failed to animate him to cheerfulness, or rouse
him to employment. If he permitted her to remain by him, he seemed
rather to endure than to enjoy her presence, repressed with a languid
monosyllable her attempts at conversation, or passed whole hours in
listless silence. Laura, who forboded the worst consequences from the
indulgence of this depression, endeavoured to persuade him that he might
now safely attempt a voyage to Scotland, and predicted beneficial
effects from the sea air. But Montreville answered her with displeasure,
that such an exertion would certainly destroy him, and that those who
were themselves in high health and spirits, could not judge of the
feelings, nor sympathize with the weakness of disease. The reproach had
no more justice than is usual with the upbraidings of the sickly; for
Laura's spirits shared every turn of her father's, though her stronger
mind could support with grace the burden that weighed him to the earth.
She desisted, however, from a subject which she saw that, for the
present, he would not bear, and confined her endeavours to persuading
him to undertake some light occupation, or to walk in the little garden
that belonged to the house. But, even in these attempts she was commonly
defeated; for Montreville would make no exertion, and the winter wind,
now keen and biting, pierced through his wasted form.
None but they who have made the melancholy experiment, can tell how
cheerless is the labour of supporting the spirit that will make no
effort to sustain itself, of soliciting the languid smile, offering the
rejected amusement, or striving, with vain ingenuity, to enliven the
oft-repulsed conversation. They only know who have tried it, what it is
to resist contagious depression--to struggle against the effects of the
complaining voice, the languid motion, the hopeless aspect; what it is
to suppress the sympathetic sigh, and restrain the little sally of
impatience, so natural to those whose labours are incessant, yet
unavailing. Such were the tasks that Laura voluntarily prescribed to
herself. Incited by affection, and by strong sense of duty, she soothed
the fretful humour, prompted the reluctant exertion, fanned the expiring
hope, and seized the most favourable moment to soften by feminine
tenderness, or exhilarate by youthful gaiety.
Many motives may lead to one great effort of virtue. The hope of reward,
the desire of approbation, a sense of right, the natural benevolence
which still affords a faint trait of the image in which man was made,
all, or any of these, may produce single, or even oft-repeated acts
deserving of praise; but one principle alone can lead to virtuous
exertions persevering and unremitting though without success. That
principle was Laura's; and even while her endeavours seemed unavailing,
she was content to employ all her powers in the task selected for her by
the bestower of them.
Montreville often reproached himself for the untimely burden which he
was laying on the young heart of his daughter; but he could make no
effort to lighten it, and self-reproach served only to embitter the
spirit which it failed of stimulating to exertion. Fretful and
impatient, yet conscious of his injustice, and unwilling that Laura
should observe it, he would often dismiss her from her attendance, and
spend whole hours in solitary gloom. These hours Laura devoted to her
picture, stealing between whiles, on tiptoe, to the door of her father's
apartment, to listen whether he was stirring; and sometimes venturing to
knock gently for admittance.
The picture, which was far advanced when De Courcy left town, soon
received the finishing touches; and Laura lost no time in transmitting
it to Norwood. She wrote an affectionate letter to Harriet; in which,
after thanking her for all her kindness, she offered her gift, and
added, that to give her work a value which it would not otherwise have
possessed, she had introduced the portrait of De Courcy; and that, glad
of an opportunity of associating the remembrance of herself with an
object of interest, she had admitted her own resemblance into the group.
She apologized for the appearance of conceit which might attend her
exhibiting her own form under the character of Virtue, by relating, with
characteristic simplicity, that she had determined on her subject,
chosen and half-finished her Hercules, before she designed the figures
of his companions; that she had afterwards thought that her memorial
would be more effectual if it contained the portrait of the giver. 'And
you know,' added she, 'it would have been impossible to mould my solemn
countenance into the lineaments of Pleasure.'
In the singleness of her heart, it never occurred to Laura, that any
thing in the mutual relation of the figures of her piece stood in need
of explanation. Had Hargrave furnished the model for her hero, she would
probably have been a little more quick-sighted. As it was, she felt
impatient to shew the De Courcy family, not excepting Montague himself,
that she was not forgetful of their kindness; and she chose a day, when
the influence of bright sunshine a little revived the spirits of
Montreville, to leave him for an hour, and accompany the picture to the
shop of the obliging print-seller, that it might be packed more
skilfully than by herself.
After seeing it safely put up, she gave the address to Wilkins, who
immediately exclaimed, 'So, Ma'am, you have found out the secret that
you would not let me tell you?' 'What secret?' inquired Laura. 'The name
of the gentleman, Ma'am, that bought your pictures.' 'Was it De Courcy,
then?' 'Yes, Ma'am;--though to be sure it might'n't be the same. But I
suppose you'll know him, Ma'am. A tall pleasant-looking gentleman,
Ma'am. The pictures were sent home to Audley Street.' Laura's
countenance brightened with satisfaction, and she suffered her informer
to proceed. 'I am sure,' continued he, 'I managed that business to the
very best of my power, and, as one might say, very dexterously.' 'Was
there any occasion for management?' inquired Laura. 'Oh yes, Ma'am; for
when he seemed very much taken with the first one, then I told him all
about you just as I had it all from Mrs Dawkins, and how you were so
anxious to have it sold; and then he said he'd have it, and paid the
money into my hands; and then I told him how you looked the first day
you brought it here, and that you were just ready to cry about it; and
he said he must have a companion to it.'
The flush, both of pride and vexation, for once stained the transparent
skin of Laura. Yet it was but for a moment; and her next feeling was
pleasure at the confirmation of the benevolent character with which her
imagination had invested De Courcy. He had purchased her work when she
was quite unknown to him, only, as she thought, from a wish to reward
industry; and because he had been led to believe that the price was an
object to the artist. Had another been the purchaser, she might have
allowed something for the merit of the piece, but Laura was not yet
cured of first imagining characters, and then bending facts to suit her
theory. Sooner than bate one iota from De Courcy's benevolence, she
would have assigned to her picture the rank of a sign-post.
She now remembered, that in her visits to Audley Street she had never
seen her works; and in her approbation of the delicacy which prompted De
Courcy to conceal that she was known to him as an artist, she forgot the
little prejudice which this concealment implied. De Courcy, indeed, was
himself unconscious that he entertained any such prejudice. He applauded
Laura's exertions; he approved of the spirit that led a young woman of
family to dare, in spite of custom, to be useful. Yet he could not help
acting as if she had shared the opinion of the world, and been herself
ashamed of her labours. But this was a shame that Laura knew not. She
wished not indeed to intrude on the world's notice. Her choice was
peaceful obscurity. But if she must be known, she would have far
preferred the distinction earned by ingenious industry, to the notoriety
which wealth and luxury can purchase.
On her return home, she found her father reading a letter which he had
just received from De Courcy. It seemed written in an hour of
melancholy. The writer made no mention of returning to town; on the
contrary, he expressed a hope that Montreville might now be able to
undertake a journey to Scotland. He besought the Captain to remember
him, to speak of him often, and to write to him sometimes; and ended
with these words--'Farewell, my friend; the dearest of my earthly hopes
is, that we may one day meet again, though years, long years, must first
intervene.'
'So ends my last hope,' said Montreville, letting his head sink
mournfully on his breast; 'De Courcy comes not, and thou must be left
alone and unprotected.' 'The protection of so young a man,' said Laura,
avoiding to answer to a foreboding which she considered merely as a
symptom of her father's disease, 'might not perhaps have appeared
advantageous to me in the eyes of those who are unacquainted with Mr De
Courcy.' 'It would have given comfort to my dying hour,' said
Montreville, 'to consign thee to such a guardian--such a husband.' 'A
husband!' cried Laura, starting, and turning pale. 'Heaven be praised,
that Mr De Courcy never harboured such a thought!' Montreville looked up
in extreme surprise; and inquired the reason of her thankfulness. 'Oh
Sir,' she replied, 'we owe so much to Mr De Courcy's friendship, that I
should have hated myself for being unable to return his affection;--and
pity would it have been that the love of so amiable a being should have
been bestowed in vain.'
Montreville fixed his eyes upon her, as if to seek for further
explanation, and continued to gaze on her face, when his thoughts had
wandered from the examination of it. After some minutes of silence, he
said--'Laura, you once rejected an alliance, splendid beyond my hopes,
almost beyond my wishes, and that with a man formed to be the darling of
your sex; and now you speak as if even Montague De Courcy would have
failed to gain you. Tell me, then, have you any secret attachment? Speak
candidly, Laura;--you will not always have a father to confide in.'
Deep crimson dyed the cheeks of Laura; but, with the hesitation of a
moment, she replied--'No, Sir, I have no wish to marry. I pretend not to
lay open my whole heart to you; but I may with truth assure you, that
there is not at this moment a man in being with whom I would unite
myself. I know you would not be gratified by extorted confidence.'
'No, Laura,' said Montreville, 'I ask no more than you willingly avow. I
confide, as I have always done, in your prudence and integrity. Soon,
alas! you will have no other guides. But it was my heart's wish to see
you united to a man who could value and protect your worth--of late,
more especially, when I feel that I so soon must leave you.'
'My dearest father,' said Laura, throwing her arm affectionately round
his neck, 'do not give way to such gloomy forebodings. Your spirits are
oppressed by confinement--let us but see Glenalbert again, and all will
be well.'
'I shall never see Glenalbert,' said Montreville;--'and left alone in
such a place as this, without money, without friends, without a
home;--where shall my child find safety or shelter?'
'Indeed, Sir,' said Laura, though a cold shuddering seized her, 'your
fears have no foundation. Only yesterday Dr Flint told me that your
complaints were without danger, and that a little exercise would make
you quite strong again.'
Montreville shook his head. 'Dr Flint deceives you, Laura,' said
he;--'you deceive yourself.' 'No, indeed,' said Laura, though she
trembled; 'you look much better,--you are much better. It is only these
melancholy thoughts that retard your recovery. Trust yourself--trust me
to the Providence that has hitherto watched over us.'
'I could die without alarm,' said Montreville; 'but to leave thee alone
and in want--Oh! I cannot bear it.' 'Should the worst befal,' said
Laura, turning pale as alabaster, 'think that I shall not be alone, I
shall not want, for'--her voice failed, but she raised her eyes with an
expression that filled up the ennobling sentiment. 'I believe it, my
love,' said Montreville, 'but you feel these consolations more strongly
than I do. Leave me for the present, I am fatigued, and wish to be
alone.'
Laura retired to her own room, and endeavoured herself to practise the
trust which she recommended to her father. Her meditations were
interrupted by the entrance of her landlady, Mrs Stubbs, who, with many
courtesies and apologies, said that she was come to present her account.
Laura, who always had pleasure in cancelling a debt the moment it was
incurred, and who conceived no apology to be necessary from those who
came to demand only their own, received her landlady very graciously,
and begged her to be seated, while she went to bring her father's purse.
Mrs Stubbs spread her bills upon the table; and Laura, after examining
them, was obliged to ask an explanation.
'Why, ma'am,' returned the landlady, 'there are fourteen guineas for
lodgings for six weeks, and 10, 15s. for victuals and other articles
that I have furnished. I am sure I have kept an exact account.'
'I understood,' said Laura, 'that we were to have the lodgings for a
guinea and a half a-week, and'--'A guinea and a half!' cried the
landlady, colouring with wrath at this disparagement of her property.
'Sure, Miss, you did not think to have lodgings such as these for a
guinea and a half a-week. No, no--these lodgings have never been let for
less than four guineas, and never shall, as long as my name is
Bridget.'
Laura mildly pleaded her ignorance of those matters, and urged De
Courcy's information as an excuse for her mistake. 'To be sure, Ma'am,'
said the now pacified Mrs Stubbs, 'nobody that know'd any thing of the
matter, would expect to have such rooms for less than four guineas; and
that was what the gentleman said when he took them; so he paid me two
guineas and a half advance for four weeks; and charged me not to let you
know of it; but I can't abide them secret doings; and, besides, if I
take only a guinea and a half from you, where was I to look for the rest
of my rent for the last fortnight--for the young gentleman seems to have
taken himself off.'
Laura suffered her loquacious hostess to proceed without interruption,
for her thoughts were fully occupied. She had incurred a debt greater,
by five guineas, than she had been prepared to expect; and this sum was,
in her present circumstances, of great importance. Yet her predominant
feeling was grateful approbation of De Courcy's benevolence; nor did her
heart at all upbraid him with the consequences of his well-meant
deception. 'Kind, considerate De Courcy,' thought she; 'he had hoped
that, ere now, we should have ceased to need his generosity, and even
have been removed from the possibility of discovering it.'
Recollecting herself, she paid the landlady her full demand; and,
dismissing her, sat down to examine what remained of her finances. All
that she possessed, she found amounted to no more than one guinea and a
few shillings; and, dropping the money into her lap, she sat gazing on
it in blank dismay.
The poverty, whose approach she had so long contemplated with a fearful
eye, had now suddenly overtaken her. Husbanded with whatever care, the
sum before her could minister only to the wants of a few hours. In her
present habitation, it would scarcely purchase shelter for another night
from the storm which a keen winter-wind was beginning to drive against
her window. An immediate supply then was necessary; but where could that
supply be found? It was too late to resort to the earnings of her own
genius. Painting was a work of time and labour. No hasty production was
likely to find favour amidst the competition of studied excellence. Even
the highest effort of her art might long wait a purchaser; and tears
fell from the eyes of Laura while she reflected that, even if she could
again produce a Leonidas, she might never again find a De Courcy.
To borrow money on the Captain's half-pay, was an expedient which Laura
had always rejected, as calculated to load their scanty income with a
burden which it could neither shake off nor bear. But even to this
expedient she could now no longer have recourse; for Montreville had
assured her that, in his present state of health, it would be impossible
to mortgage his annuity for a single guinea.
She might raise a small supply by stripping her beloved Glenalbert of
some of its little luxuries and comforts; but, long before this
revolting business could be transacted, she must be absolutely
pennyless. Nor did she dare, without consulting her father, to give
orders for dismantling his home. And how should she inform him of the
necessity for such a sacrifice? Weakened both in body and in mind, how
would he endure the privations that attend on real penury? His naturally
feeble spirits already crushed to the earth, his kindly temper already,
by anxiety and disappointment, turned to gall, his anxieties for his
child alarmed even to anguish, how could he bear to learn that real want
had reached him--had reached that dear child, whom the dread of leaving
to poverty was poisoning the springs of life within him! 'He thinks he
is about to leave me,' cried she, 'and shall I tell him that I must owe
to charity even the sod that covers him from me? No; I will perish
first,' and, starting from her seat, she paced the room in distressful
meditation on the means of concealing from her father the extent of
their calamity.
She determined to take upon herself the care of their little fund, under
pretence that the trouble was too great for Montreville. He had of late
shewn such listless indifference to all domestic concerns, that she
hoped he might never inquire into the extent of his landlady's demand,
or that his inquiries might be eluded. It seemed a light thing in
Laura's eyes to suffer alone; or rather she thought not of her own
sufferings, could she but spare her father the anguish of knowing
himself and his child utterly destitute. She judged of his feelings by
her own; felt, by sympathy, all the pangs with which he would witness
wants which he could not supply; and she inwardly vowed to conceal from
him every privation that she might endure,--every labour that she might
undergo.
But, void of every resource, far from every friend, destitute amid
boundless wealth, alone amid countless multitudes, whither should she
turn for aid, or even for counsel? 'Whither,' cried she, dropping on her
knees, 'except to Him who hath supplied me in yet more urgent want, who
hath counselled me in yet more fearful difficulty, who hath fed my soul
with angel's food, and guided it with light from heaven?' Laura rose
from her devotions, more confiding in the care of Providence, more able
to consider calmly of improving the means which still remained within
her own power.
Before she could finish and dispose of a picture, weeks must elapse for
which she could make no provision. To painting, therefore, she could not
have immediate recourse. But sketches in chalk could be finished with
expedition; the printseller might undertake the sale of them; and the
lowness of the price might invite purchasers. Could she but hope to
obtain a subsistence for her father, she would labour night and day,
deprive herself of recreation, of rest, even of daily food, rather than
wound his heart, by an acquaintance with poverty. 'And since his pride
is hurt by the labours of his child,' said she, 'even his pride shall be
sacred. He shall never know my labours.' And, so frail are even the
best, that an emotion of pride swelled the bosom of Laura at the thought
that the merit of her toils was enhanced by their secrecy.
The resolutions of Laura were ever the immediate prelude to action; and
here was no time for delay. She again looked mournfully upon her little
treasure, hopelessly re-examined the purse that contained it; again,
with dismay, remembered that it was her all; then, hastily putting it
into her pocket, she drew her portfolio towards her, and began to
prepare for the work with the hurry of one to whom every moment seems
precious. Invention was at present impossible; but she tried to
recollect one of her former designs, and busied herself in sketching it
till the hour of dinner arrived. She then went to summon her father from
his chamber to the eating-room. 'This day,' thought she, 'I must share
his precarious sustenance--another I shall be more provident. And is
this then, perhaps, our last social meal?' and she turned for a moment
from the door, to suppress the emotion that would have choked her
utterance. 'Come in, my dear,' cried Montreville, who had heard her
footstep; and Laura entered with a smile. She offered her arm to assist
him in descending to the parlour. 'Why will you always urge me to go
down stairs, Laura,' said he; 'you see I am unequal to the fatigue.' 'I
shall not urge you to-morrow,' answered Laura: and Montreville thought
the tears which stood in her eyes, were the consequence of the impatient
tone in which he had spoken.
During the evening, Laura avoided all mention of restoring the purse to
her father, and he appeared to have forgotten its existence. But, by no
effort could she beguile those cheerless hours. Her utmost exertions
were necessary to maintain the appearance of composure; and De Courcy's
letter seemed to have consummated Montreville's feelings of solitude and
desolation. Wilfully, and without effort, he suffered his spirits to
expire. His whole train of thinking had become habitually gloomy. He was
wretched, even without reference to his situation, and the original
cause of his melancholy was rather the excuse than the reason of his
depression. But this only rendered more hopeless all attempts to cheer
him; for the woes of the imagination have this dire pre-eminence over
those which spring from real evils, that, while these can warm at times
in benevolent joy, or even brighten for a moment to the flash of
innocent gaiety, the selfishness of the former, chequered by no kindly
feeling, reflects not the sunny smile; as the dark and noisome fog
drinks in vain the beam of Heaven.
Montreville, when in health, had been always and justly considered a
kind-hearted, good-natured man. He had been a most indulgent husband, an
easy master, and a fond father. He was honourable, generous, and
friendly. Those who had witnessed his patient endurance of Lady
Harriet's caprice had given his philosophy a credit which was better due
to his indolence: for the grand defect of Montreville's character was a
total want of fortitude and self-command; and of these failings he was
now paying the penalty. His health was injured by his voluntary
inaction, his fancy aggravated his real disorder, and multiplied to
infinity his imaginary ailments. He had habituated his mind to images of
disaster, till it had become incapable of receiving any but comfortless
and doleful impressions.
After spending a few silent hours without effort towards employment or
recreation, he retired for the night; and Laura experienced a sensation
of relief, as, shutting herself away into her apartment, she prepared to
resume her labours. After every other member of the family had retired
to rest, she continued to work till her candle expired in the socket;
and then threw herself on her bed to rise again with the first blush of
dawn.
Montreville had been accustomed to breakfast in his own room; Laura
therefore found no difficulty in beginning her system of abstemiousness.
Hastily swallowing a few mouthfuls of dry bread, she continued her
drawing, till her father rang for his chocolate. She was fully resolved
to adhere to this plan, to labour with unceasing industry, and to deny
herself whatever was not essential to her existence.
But neither hard fare, nor labour, nor confinement, could occasion to
Laura such pain as she suffered from another of the necessities of her
situation. Amidst her mournful reflections, it had occurred to her, that
unless she would incur a debt which she could not hope to discharge, it
would be necessary to dismiss the surgeon who attended her father. All
her ideas of honour and integrity revolted from suffering a man to
expend his time and trouble, in expectation of a return which she was
unable to make. She was besides convinced that in Montreville's case
medicine could be of no avail. But she feared to hint the subject to her
father, lest she should lead to a discovery of their present
circumstances; and such was her conviction of the feebleness of his
spirits, and such her dread of the consequences of their increased
depression, that all earthly evils seemed light compared with that of
adding to his distress. Laura perhaps judged wrong; for one real evil
sometimes ameliorates the condition, by putting to flight a host of
imaginary calamities, and by compelling that exertion which makes any
situation tolerable. But she trembled for the effects of the slightest
additional suffering upon the life or the reason of her father; and she
would have thought it little less than parricide to add a new bruise to
the wounded spirit. On the other hand, she dreaded that Montreville, if
kept in ignorance of its real cause, might consider the desertion of his
medical attendant as an intimation that his case was hopeless, and
perhaps become the victim of his imaginary danger.
She knew not on what to resolve. Her distress and perplexity were
extreme; and if any thing could have vanquished the stubborn integrity
of Laura, the present temptation would have prevailed. But no wilful
fraud could be the issue of her deliberations, who was steadily
convinced that inflexible justice looks on to blast with a curse even
the successful schemes of villany, and to shed a blessing on the sorrows
of the upright. She would not even for her father incur a debt which she
could never hope to pay; and nothing remained but to consider of the
best means of executing her painful determination.
Here a new difficulty occurred, for she could not decline the surgeon's
further attendance without offering to discharge what she already owed.
In the present state of her funds, this was utterly impossible; for
though, at her instigation, his bill had been lately paid, she was sure
that the new one must already amount to more than all she possessed. How
to procure the necessary supply she knew not; for even if she could have
secured the immediate sale of her drawings, the price of her daily and
nightly toil would scarcely suffice to pay for the expensive habitation
which she durst not propose to leave, and to bribe the fastidious
appetite of Montreville with dainties of which he could neither bear the
want nor feel the enjoyment.
Once only, and it was but for a moment, she thought of appealing to the
humanity of Dr Flint, of unfolding to him her situation, and begging
his attendance upon the chance of future remuneration. But Laura was
destined once more to pay the penalty of her hasty judgments of
character. On Montreville's first illness, Dr Flint had informed Laura,
with (as she thought) great want of feeling, of her father's danger. He
was a gaunt, atrabilious, stern-looking man, with a rough voice, and
cold repulsive manners. He had, moreover, an uninviting name; and though
Laura was ashamed to confess to herself that such trifles could
influence her judgment, these disadvantages were the real cause why she
always met Dr Flint with a sensation resembling that with which one
encounters a cold, damp, north-east wind. To make any claim upon the
benevolence of a stranger--and such a stranger! It was not to be thought
of. Yet Laura's opinion, or rather her feelings, wronged Dr Flint. His
exterior, it is true, was far from prepossessing. It is also true, that,
considering Montreville's first illness as the effect of a very
unpardonable levity on the part of Laura, he had spoken to her on that
occasion with even more than his usual frigidity. Nor did he either
possess or lay claim to any great share of sensibility; but he was not
destitute of humanity; and had Laura explained to him her situation, he
would willingly have attended her father without prospect of recompense.
But Laura did not put his benevolence to the test. She suffered him to
make his morning visit and depart; while she was considering of a plan
which appeared little less revolting.
Laura knew that one of the most elegant houses in Grosvenor Street was
inhabited by a Lady Pelham, the daughter of Lady Harriet Montreville's
mother by a former marriage. She knew that, for many years, little
intercourse had subsisted between the sisters; and that her father was
even wholly unknown to Lady Pelham. But she was ignorant, that the
imprudence of her mother's marriage served as the excuse for a coldness,
which had really existed before it had any such pretext.
With all her Scotish prejudice in favour of the claims of kindred (and
Laura in this and many other respects was entirely a Scotch woman), she
could not, without the utmost repugnance, think of applying to her
relation. To introduce herself to a stranger whom she had never seen--to
appear not only as an inferior, but as a supplicant--a beggar! Laura had
long and successfully combated the innate pride of human nature; but her
humility almost failed under this trial. Her illustrious ancestry--the
dignity of a gentlewoman--the independence of one who can bear to labour
and endure to want, all rose successively to her mind; for pride can
wear many specious forms. But she had nearer claims than the honour of
her ancestry--dearer concerns than her personal importance; and when she
thought of her father, she felt that she was no longer independent.
Severe was her struggle, and bitter were the tears which she shed over
the conviction that it was right that she should become a petitioner for
the bounty of a stranger. In vain did she repeat to herself, that she
was a debtor to the care of Providence for her daily bread, and was not
entitled to choose the means by which it was supplied. She could not
conquer her reluctance. But she could act right in defiance of it. She
could sacrifice her own feelings to the comfort of her father--to a
sense of duty. Nay, upon reflection, she could rejoice that
circumstances compelled her to quell that proud spirit with which, as a
Christian, she maintained a constant and vigorous combat.
While these thoughts were passing in her mind, she had finished her
drawing; and, impatient to know how far this sort of labour was likely
to be profitable, she furnished her father with a book to amuse him in
her absence; and, for the first time since they had occupied their
present lodgings, expressed a wish to take a walk for amusement. Had
Montreville observed the blushes that accompanied this little
subterfuge, he would certainly have suspected that the amusement which
this walk promised was of no common kind; but he was in one of his
reveries, hanging over the mantle-piece, with his forehead resting on
his arm, and did not even look up while he desired her not to be long
absent.
She resolved to go first to Lady Pelham, that coming early she might
find her disengaged, and afterwards to proceed to the print-shop.
The wind blew keen across the snow as Laura began her reluctant
pilgrimage. Her summer attire, to which her finances could afford no
addition, ill defended her from the blast. Through the streets of London
she was to explore her way unattended. Accustomed to find both beauty
and pleasure in the solitude of her walks, she was to mix in the throngs
of a rude rabble, without protection from insult. But no outward
circumstances could add to the feelings of comfortless dismay with which
she looked forward to the moment, when, ushered through stately
apartments into the presence of self-important greatness, she should
announce herself a beggar. Her courage failed--she paused, and made one
step back towards her home. But she recalled her former thoughts. 'I
have need to be humbled,' said she; and again proceeded on her way.
As she left the little garden that surrounded her lodgings, she
perceived an old man who had taken shelter by one of the pillars of the
gate. He shivered in the cold, which found easy entrance through the
rags that covered him, and famine glared from his hollow eye. His gray
hair streamed on the wind, as he held out the tattered remains of a hat,
and said, 'Please to help me, Lady.--I am very poor.' He spoke in the
dialect of her native land, and the accents went to Laura's heart;--for
Laura was in the land of strangers. She had never been deaf to the
petitions of the poor; for all the poor of Glenalbert were known to her;
and she knew that what she spared from her own comforts, was not made
the minister of vice. Her purse was already in her hand, ere she
remembered that to give was become a crime.
As the thought crossed her, she started like one who had escaped from
sudden danger. 'No, I must not give you money,' said she, and returned
the purse into her pocket, with a pang that taught her the true
bitterness of poverty. 'I am cold and hungry,' said the man still
pleading, and taking encouragement from Laura's relenting eye. 'Hungry!'
repeated Laura, 'then come with me, and I will give you bread;' and she
returned to the house to bestow on the old man the humble fare which she
had before destined to supply her own wants for the day, glad to
purchase by a longer fast the right to feed the hungry.
'In what respect am I better than this poor creature,' said she to
herself, as she returned with the beggar to the gate, 'that I should
offer to him with ease, and even with pleasure, what I myself cannot ask
without pain. Surely I do not rightly believe that we are of the same
dust! The same frail, sinful, perishable, dust!'
But it was in vain that Laura continued to argue with herself. In this
instance she could only do her duty; she could not love it. Her heart
filled, and the tears rose to her eyes. She dashed them away--but they
rose again.
When she found herself in Grosvenor Street, she paused for a moment.
'What if Lady Pelham should deny my request? dismiss me as a bold
intruder? Why, then,' said Laura, raising her head, and again advancing
with a firmer step, 'I shall owe no obligation to a stranger.'
She approached the house--she ascended the steps. Almost breathless she
laid her hand upon the knocker. At that moment she imagined her entrance
through files of insolent domestics into a room filled with gay company.
She anticipated the inquisitive glances--shrunk in fancy from the
supercilious examination; and she again drew back her hand. 'I shall
never have courage to face all this,' thought she. While we hesitate, a
trifle turns the scale. Laura perceived that she had drawn the attention
of a young man on the pavement, who stood gazing on her with familiar
curiosity; and she knocked, almost before she was sensible that she
intended it.
The time appeared immeasurable till the door was opened by a
maid-servant. 'Is Lady Pelham at home?' inquired Laura, taking
encouragement from the sight of one of her own sex. 'No, Ma'am,'
answered the maid, 'my lady is gone to keep Christmas in ----shire, and
will not return for a fortnight.' Laura drew a long breath, as if a
weight had been lifted from her breast; and, suppressing an ejaculation
of 'thank Heaven,' sprung in the lightness of her heart at one skip from
the door to the pavement.
CHAPTER XVI
Laura's exultation was of short continuance. She had gone but a few
steps ere she reflected that the wants which she had undertaken so
painful a visit to supply were as clamant as ever, and now further than
ever from a chance of relief. Mournfully she pursued her way towards the
print-shop, hopelessly comparing her urgent and probably prolonged
necessities with her confined resources.
The utmost price which she could hope to receive for the drawing she
carried, would be far from sufficient to discharge her debt to the
surgeon; and there seemed now no alternative but to confess her
inability to pay, and to throw herself upon his mercy. To this measure,
however, she was too averse to adopt it without reconsidering every
other possible expedient. She thought of appealing to the friendship of
Mrs Douglas, and of suffering Dr Flint to continue his visits till an
answer from her friend should enable her to close the connection. But
Mrs Douglas's scanty income was taxed to the uttermost by the
maintenance and education of a numerous family, by the liberal charities
of its owners, and by the hospitable spirit, which, banished by
ostentation from more splendid abodes, still lingers by the fireside of
a Scotch clergyman. Laura was sure that Mrs Douglas would supply her
wants at whatever inconvenience to herself; and this very consideration
withheld her from making application to her friend.
Laura had heard and read that ladies in distress had found subsistence
by the sale of their ornaments. But by their example she could not
profit; for her ornaments were few in number and of no value. She wore
indeed a locket, which she had once received from her mother, with a
strong injunction neither to lose nor give it away; but Laura, in her
profound ignorance of the value of trinkets, attached no estimation to
this one, except as the only unnecessary gift which she had ever
received from her mother. 'It contains almost as much gold as a guinea,'
said she, putting her hand to it, 'and a guinea will soon be a great
treasure to me.' Still she determined that nothing short of extremity
should induce her to part with it; but desirous to ascertain the extent
of this last resort, she entered the shop of a jeweller, and presenting
the locket, begged to know its value.
After examining it, the jeweller replied that he believed it might be
worth about five guineas, 'for though,' said he, 'the setting is
antiquated, these emeralds are worth something.'
At the mention of this sum, all Laura's difficulties seemed to vanish.
Besides enabling her to pay the surgeon, it would make an addition to
her little fund. With rigorous abstinence on her part, this little fund,
together with the price of her incessant labour, would pay for her
lodgings, and support her father in happy ignorance of his poverty, till
he was able to remove to Glenalbert. Then, when he was quite well and
quite able to bear it, she would tell him how she had toiled for him,
and he would see that he had not lavished his fondness on a thankless
child.
These thoughts occupied far less time than the recital; and yet, ere
they were passed, Laura had untied the locket from her neck, and put it
into the hands of the jeweller. It was not till she saw it in the hands
of another, that she felt all the pain of parting with it. She asked to
see it once more; as she gazed on it for the last time, tears trickled
from her eyes; but speedily wiping them away, and averting her head, she
restored the locket to its new owner, and taking up the money, departed.
She soon arrived at the print-shop, and finding Wilkins disengaged,
produced her drawing, and asked him to purchase it. Wilkins looked at
it, and inquired what price she had put upon it. 'I am quite
unacquainted with its real value,' answered she, 'but the rapid sale of
my work is at present such an object to me, that I shall willingly make
it as cheap as possible, or allow you to fix your own price.' 'Have you
any more to dispose of, Ma'am?' asked Wilkins. 'I have none finished,
but I could promise you six more in a week if you are inclined to take
them.' 'I think,' said Wilkins, 'after some consideration, I might
venture to take them if you could afford them for half a guinea each.'
'You shall have them,' said Laura, with a sigh; 'but I think
half-a-guinea rather a low--a high, I believe, I mean.--'
Laura did not at this moment exactly know what she meant; for her eyes
had just rested on a gentleman, who, with his back towards her, was
busied in examining a book of caricatures. She thought she could not be
mistaken in the person. Only one form upon earth was endowed with such
symmetry and grace; and that form was Hargrave's. He slightly turned his
head, and Laura was certain.
Though Laura neither screamed nor fainted, this recognition was not made
without extreme emotion. She trembled violently, and a mist spread
before her eyes; but she remembered the apparently wilful desertion of
her lover; and, determined neither to claim his compassion nor gratify
his vanity by any of the airs of a forsaken damsel, she quietly turned
away from him, and leant against the counter to recover strength and
composure.
She was resolved to quit the shop the instant that she was able; and
yet, perhaps she would have become sooner sensible of her recovered
powers of motion, had it not been for a latent hope that the caricatures
would not long continue so very interesting. No one however, accosted
her; and next came the idea that Hargrave had already observed her,
without wishing to claim her acquaintance. Before the mortifying thought
could take a distinct form, Laura was already on her way towards the
door.
'You have left your half-guinea, Ma'am,' said Wilkins, calling after
her; and Laura, half angry at being detained, turned back to fetch it.
At this moment Hargrave's eye fell upon her half averted face. Surprise
and joy illuminating his fine countenance, 'Laura!' he exclaimed, 'is it
possible! have I at last found you?' and springing forward, he clasped
her to his breast, regardless of the inquisitive looks and significant
smiles of the spectators of his transports. But to the scrutiny of
strangers, to the caresses of Hargrave, even to the indecorum of her
situation, poor Laura was insensible. Weakened by the fatigue and
emotion of the two preceding days, overcome by the sudden conviction
that she had not been wilfully neglected, her head sunk upon the
shoulder of Hargrave, and she lost all consciousness.
When Laura recovered, she found herself in a little parlour adjoining to
the shop, with no attendant but Hargrave, who still supported her in his
arms. Her first thought was vexation at her own ill-timed sensibility;
her next, a resolution to make no further forfeiture of her
respectability, but rather, by the most stoical composure, to regain
what she had lost. For this purpose, she soon disengaged herself from
her perilous support, and unwilling to speak till secure of maintaining
her firmness, she averted her head, and returned all Hargrave's
raptures of love and joy with provoking silence.
As soon as she had completely recovered her self-possession, she rose,
and apologizing for the trouble she had occasioned him, said she would
return home. Hargrave eagerly begged permission to accompany her, saying
that his carriage was in waiting, and would convey them. Laura, with
cold politeness, declined his offer. Though a little piqued by her
manner, Hargrave triumphed in the idea that he retained all his former
influence. 'My bewitching Laura,' said he, taking her hand, 'I beseech
you to lay aside this ill-timed coquetry. After so sweet, so interesting
a proof, that you still allow me some power over your feelings, must I
accuse you of an affectation of coldness?' 'No, sir,' said Laura
indignantly, 'rather of a momentary weakness, for which I despise
myself.'
The lover could not indeed have chosen a more unfavourable moment to
express his exultation; for Laura's feelings of humiliation and
self-reproach were just then raised to their height, by her perceiving
the faces of two of the shop-boys peeping through the glass door with an
aspect of roguish curiosity. Conscious of her inability to walk home,
and feeling her situation quite intolerable, she called to one of the
little spies, and begged that he would instantly procure her a hackney
coach.
Hargrave vehemently remonstrated against this disorder. 'Why this unkind
haste?' said he. 'Surely after so tedious, so tormenting an absence, you
need not grudge me a few short moments.' Laura thought he was probably
himself to blame for the absence of which he complained, and coldly
answering, 'I have already been detained too long,' was about to quit
the room, when Hargrave, impatiently seizing her hand, exclaimed,
'Unfeeling Laura! does that relentless pride never slumber? Have I
followed you from Scotland, and sought you for three anxious months, to
be met without one kind word, one pitying look!'
'Followed me!' repeated Laura with surprise.
'Yes, upon my life, my journey hither had no other object. After you so
cruelly left me, without warning or farewell, how could I endure to
exist in the place which you once made delightful to me. Indeed I could
not bear it. I resolved to pursue you wherever you went, to breathe at
least the same air with you, sometimes to feast my fond eyes with that
form, beyond imagination lovely--perhaps to win that beguiling smile
which no heart can withstand. The barbarous caution of Mrs Douglas in
refusing me your address, has caused the disappointment of all my
hopes.'
Hargrave had egregiously mistaken the road to Laura's favour when he
threw a reflection upon her friend. 'Mrs Douglas certainly acted right,'
said she. 'I have equal confidence in her prudence and in her
friendship.' 'Probably then,' said Hargrave, reddening with vexation,
'this system of torture originated with you. It was at your desire that
your friend withstood all my entreaties.' 'No,' answered Laura, 'I
cannot claim the merit of so much forethought. I certainly did not
expect the honour that you are pleased to say you have done me,
especially when you were doubtful both of my abode and of your own
reception.'
'Insulting girl,' cried Hargrave, 'you know too well, that, however
received, still I must follow you. And, but for a series of the most
tormenting accidents, I should have defeated the caution of your
cold-hearted favourite. At the Perth post-office I discovered that your
letters were addressed to the care of Mr Baynard; and the very hour that
I reached London, I flew to make inquiries after you. I found that Mr
Baynard's house was shut up, and that he was gone in bad health to
Richmond. I followed him, and was told that he was too ill to be spoken
with, that none of the servants knew your abode, as the footman who used
to carry messages to you had been dismissed, and that your letters were
now left at Mr Baynard's chambers in town. Thither I went, and learnt
that, ever since your removal to Richmond, you had yourself sent for
your letters, and that, of course, the clerks were entirely ignorant of
your residence. Imagine my disappointment. The people, however, promised
to make inquiries of your messenger, and to let me know where you might
be found; and day after day did I haunt them, the sport of vain hope and
bitter disappointment. No other letter ever came for you, nor did you
ever inquire for any.'
'After Mr Baynard's removal to Richmond,' said Laura, 'I directed Mrs
Douglas to address her letters to our lodgings.'
'Ah Laura, think what anxieties, what wretchedness I have suffered in my
fruitless search! Yet you meet me only to drive me coldly from your
presence. Once you said that you pardoned the folly--the madness that
offended you; but too well I see that you deceived yourself or me--that
no attachment, no devotion can purchase your forgiveness.' 'Indeed,'
said Laura, melted by the proof which she had received of her lover's
affection, yet fearful of forfeiting her caution, 'I am incapable of
harbouring enmity against the worst of human beings, and--'
'Enmity!' interrupted Hargrave, 'Heavens, what a word!' 'I mean,' said
Laura, faltering, 'that I am not insensible to the regard--'
'Madam, the coach is at the door,' said the shop-boy, again peeping
slily into the room; and Laura, hastily bidding Hargrave good morning,
walked towards the carriage. Having herself given the coachman his
directions, she suffered Hargrave to hand her in, giving him a slight
bow in token of dismissal. He continued, however, to stand for some
moments with his foot upon the step, waiting for a look of permission to
accompany her; but, receiving none, he sprung into the seat by her side,
and called to the man to drive on. Laura offended at his boldness, gave
him a very ungracious look, and drew back in silence, 'I see you think
me presumptuous,' said he, 'but, just found, how can I consent to leave
you? Oh Laura, if you knew what I have suffered from an absence that
seemed endless! Not for worlds would I endure such another.'
'The stipulated two years are still far from a close,' said Laura
coldly; 'and, till they are ended, our intercourse cannot be too
slight.'
'Surely,' cried Hargrave, 'when you fixed this lingering probation, you
did not mean to banish me from your presence for two years!' Laura could
not with truth aver that such a banishment had been her intention. 'I
believe,' said she, suppressing a sigh, 'that would have been my wisest
meaning.' 'I would sooner die,' cried Hargrave, vehemently. 'Oh, had I
sooner found you,' added he, a dark expression which Laura could not
define clouding his countenance, 'what wretchedness would have been
spared! But now that we have at last met,' continued he, his eyes again
sparkling with love and hope, 'I will haunt you, cling to you,
supplicate you, till I melt you to a passion as fervent as my own,'
While he spoke he dropped upon his knee by her side, and drew his arm
passionately round her. Time had been, that Laura, trembling with
irrepressible emotion, would have withdrawn from the embrace,
reproaching herself for sensations from which she imagined that the more
spotless heart of her lover was free, and hating herself for being
unable to receive as a sister, the caresses of a fondness pure as a
brother's love. But Hargrave had himself torn the veil from her eyes;
and shrinking from him as if a serpent had crossed her path, she cast on
him a look that struck like an ice-bolt on the glowing heart of
Hargrave. 'Just Heaven!' he cried, starting up with a convulsive
shudder, 'this is abhorrence! Why, why have you deceived me with a
false show of sensibility? Speak it at once,' said he, wildly grasping
her arm; 'say that you detest me, and tell me too who has dared to
supplant me in a heart once wholly mine.'
'Be calm, I implore you,' said Laura, terrified at his violence, 'no one
has supplanted you. I am, I ever shall be, whatever you deserve to find
me.'
Laura's soothing voice, her insinuating look, retained all their wonted
power to calm the fierce passions of her lover. 'Oh I shall never
deserve you,' said he in a tone of wretchedness, while his face was
again crossed by an expression of anguish, which the unsuspecting Laura
attributed to remorse for his former treatment of herself.
The carriage at this moment stopped, and anxious to calm his spirits at
parting, Laura smiled kindly upon him, and said, 'Be ever thus humble in
your opinion of your own merits, ever thus partial in your estimate of
mine, and then,' added she, the tears trembling in her lovely eyes, 'we
shall meet again in happier circumstances.' 'You must not, shall not
leave me thus,' cried Hargrave impatiently, 'I will not quit this spot,
till you have consented to see me again.' 'Do not ask it,' replied
Laura. 'A long, long time must elapse, much virtuous exertion must be
undergone, ere I dare receive you with other than this coldness, which
appears to be so painful to you. Why then sport with your own feelings
and with mine?' 'Ah Laura,' said Hargrave in a voice of supplication,
'use me as you will, only suffer me to see you.' Moved with the
imploring tone of her lover, Laura turned towards him that she might
soften by her manner the meditated refusal; but, in an evil hour for her
resolution, she met the fine eyes of Hargrave suffused with tears, and,
wholly unable to utter what she intended, she remained silent. Hargrave
was instantly sensible of his advantage, and willing to assist her
acquiescence by putting his request into a less exceptionable form, he
said, 'I ask not even for your notice, suffer me but to visit your
father.' 'My father has been very ill,' returned Laura, who, unknown to
herself, rejoiced to find an excuse for her concession, 'and it may give
him pleasure to see you; but I can claim no share in the honour of
your visits.' Hargrave, delighted with his success, rapturously thanked
her for her condescension; and springing from the carriage, led her, but
half satisfied with her own conduct, into the house.
She ushered him into the parlour, and before he had time to detain her,
glided away to acquaint her father with his visit. She found the Captain
wrapt in the same listless melancholy in which she had left him; the
book which she had meant to entertain him, used only as a rest for his
arm. Laura was now beset with her old difficulty. She had not yet learnt
to speak of Hargrave without sensible confusion; and to utter his name
while any eye was fixed upon her face, required an effort which no
common circumstances could have tempted her to make. She therefore took
refuge behind her father's chair, before she began her partial relation
of her morning's adventure.
'And is he now in the house,' cried Montreville, with an animation which
he had long laid aside. 'I rejoice to hear it. Return to him
immediately, my love. I will see him in a few minutes.' 'As soon as you
choose to receive him,' said Laura; 'I shall carry your commands. I
shall remain in the dressing-room.' 'For shame, Laura!' returned
Montreville. 'I thought you had been above these silly airs of conquest.
Colonel Hargrave's rejected passion gives you no right to refuse him the
politeness due to all your father's guests.' 'Certainly not, Sir,
but'--she stopped, hesitating--'however,' added she, 'since you wish
it, I will go.'
It was not without embarrassment that Laura returned to her lover; to
offer him another tte  tte seemed so like soliciting a renewal of his
ardours. In this idea she was stopping at the parlour door, collecting
her courage, and meditating a speech decorously repulsive, when
Hargrave, who had been listening for her approach, impatiently stepped
out to look for her, and in a moment spoiled all her concerted oratory,
by taking her hand and leading her into the room.
Though Hargrave could at any time take Laura's feelings by surprise, an
instant was sufficient to restore her self-possession; and withdrawing
her hand, she said, 'In a few minutes, Sir, my father will be glad to
see you, and at his desire I attend you till he can have that honour.'
'Bless him for the delay!' cried Hargrave, 'I have a thousand things to
say to you.' 'And I, Sir,' said Laura, solemnly, 'have one thing to say
to you, of more importance to me, probably, than all the thousand.'
Hargrave bit his lip; and Laura proceeded, her colour, as painful
recollection rose, fading from the crimson that had newly flushed it, to
the paleness of anguish. 'Six months ago,' said she, speaking with an
effort that rendered her words scarcely articulate--'Six months ago you
made me a promise. Judge of my anxiety that you should keep it, when to
secure its fulfilment I can call up a subject so revolting--so
dreadful.' She paused--a cold shudder running through her limbs: but
Hargrave, abashed and disconcerted, gave her no interruption, and
ventured not even to raise his eyes from the ground. 'My father,' she
continued, 'is no longer able to avenge his child;--the bare mention of
her wrongs would destroy him. If then you value my peace--if you dread
my detestation--let no circumstance seduce, no accident surprise from
you this hateful secret.'
While she spoke, the blushes which had deserted her cheek were
transferred to that of Hargrave; for though, to his own conscience, he
had palliated his former outrage till it appeared a very venial
trespass, he was not proof against the unaffected horror with which it
had inspired the virtuous Laura. Throwing himself at her feet, and
hiding his face in her gown, he bitterly, and for the moment sincerely,
bewailed his offence, and vowed to devote his life to its expiation.
Then, starting up, he struck his hand wildly upon his forehead, and
exclaimed, 'Madman that I have been! Oh, Laura, thy heavenly purity
makes me the veriest wretch. No--thou canst never pardon me!'
The innocent Laura, who little suspected all his causes of
self-reproach, wept tears of joy over his repentance, and, in a voice
full of tenderness, said, 'Indeed I have myself too many faults to be
unrelenting. Contrition and amendment are all that Heaven requires--why
should I ask more?' Hargrave saw that she attributed all his agitation
to remorse for his conduct towards herself; but the effects of her
mistake were too delightful to suffer him to undeceive her; and
perceiving at once that he had found the master-spring of all her
tenderness, he overpowered her with such vows, protestations, and
entreaties, that, before their conference was interrupted, he had,
amidst tremors, blushes, and hesitation, which spoke a thousand times
more than her words, wrung from her a confession that she felt a more
than friendly interest in the issue of his probation.
Indeed Montreville was in no haste to break in upon their dialogue. That
any woman should have refused the hand of the handsome--the
insinuating--the gallant Colonel Hargrave, had always appeared to him
little less than miraculous. He had been told, that ladies sometimes
rejected what they did not mean to relinquish; and though he could
scarcely believe his daughter capable of such childish coquetry, he was
not without faith in a maxim, which, it must be confessed, receives
sanction from experience, namely, that in all cases of feminine
obduracy, perseverance is an infallible recip. This recip, he had no
doubt, was now to be tried upon Laura; and he fervently wished that it
might be with success. Though he was too affectionate a father to form
on this subject a wish at variance with his daughter's happiness, he had
never been insensible to the desire of seeing her brow graced by a
coronet. But now more important considerations made him truly anxious to
consign her to the guardianship of a man of honour.
The unfortunate transaction of the annuity would, in the event of his
death, leave her utterly destitute. That event, he imagined, was fast
approaching; and with many a bitter pang he remembered that he had
neither friend nor relative with whom he could entrust his orphan child.
His parents had long been dead; his only surviving brother, a
fox-hunting squire of small fortune, shared his table and bed with a
person who had stooped to these degrading honours from the more
reputable situation of an innocent dairy-maid. With Lady Harriet's
relations (for friends she had none), Montreville had never maintained
any intercourse. They had affected to resent his intrusion into the
family, and he had not been industrious to conciliate their favour.
Except himself, therefore, Laura had no natural protector; and this
circumstance made him tenfold more anxious that she should recal her
decision in regard to Hargrave.
He had no doubt that the present visit was intended for Laura; and he
suffered as long a time to elapse before he claimed any share in it, as
common politeness would allow. He had meant to receive the Colonel in
his own apartment, but an inclination to observe the conduct of the
lovers, induced him to make an effort to join them in the parlour, where
he with pleasure discovered by the countenances of both, that their
conversation had been mutually interesting. Hargrave instantly recovered
himself, and paid his compliments with his accustomed grace; but Laura,
by no means prepared to stand inspection, disappeared the moment her
father entered the room.
This was the first time that the gentlemen had met, since the day when
Montreville had granted his fruitless sanction to the Colonel's suit.
Delicacy prevented the father from touching upon the subject, and it was
equally avoided by Hargrave, who had not yet determined in what light to
represent his repulse. However, as it completely occupied the minds of
both, the conversation, which turned on topics merely indifferent, was
carried on with little spirit on either side, and was soon closed by
Hargrave's taking leave, after begging permission to repeat his visit.
Colonel Hargrave had promised to spend that evening with the most
beautiful woman in London; but the unexpected rencounter of the
morning, left him in no humour to fulfil his engagement. He had found
his Laura,--his lovely, his innocent Laura,--the object of his only
serious passion,--the only woman whose empire reached beyond his senses.
He had found her cautious, reserved, severe; yet feeling, constant, and
tender. He remembered the overwhelming joy which made her sink fainting
on his bosom; called to mind her ill-suppressed tears--her smothered
sighs--her unbidden blushes; and a thousand times assured himself that
he was passionately beloved. He triumphed the more in the proofs of her
affection, because they were not only involuntary but reluctant; and,
seen through the flattering medium of gratified pride, her charms
appeared more than ever enchanting. On these charms he had formerly
suffered his imagination to dwell, till to appropriate them seemed to
him almost the chief end of existence; and, though in absence his frenzy
had a little intermitted, his interview with Laura roused it again to
double violence.
No passion of Hargrave's soul (and all his passions were of intense
force), had ever known restraint, or control, or even delay of
gratification, excepting only this, the strongest that had ever governed
him. And must he now pine for eighteen lingering months, ere he attained
the object of such ardent wishes? Must he submit, for a time that seemed
endless, to the tyranny of this intolerable passion,--see the woman on
whom he doated receive his protestations with distrust, and spite of her
affection, shrink from his caresses with horror? No!--he vowed that if
there were persuasion in man, or frailty in woman, he would shorten the
period of his trial,--that he would employ for this purpose all the
power which he possessed over Laura's heart, and, if that failed, that
he would even have recourse to the authority of the father.
But he had yet a stronger motive than the impetuosity of his passions
for striving to obtain immediate possession of his treasure. He was
conscious that there was a tale to tell, which, once known, (and it
could not long be concealed), would shake his hopes to the foundation.
But on this subject he could not now dwell without disgust, and he
turned from it to the more inviting contemplation of Laura's beauty and
Laura's love; and with his head and his heart, every nerve, every pulse
full of Laura, he retired to pursue in his dreams, the fair visions that
had occupied his waking thoughts.
While he was thus wilfully surrendering himself to the dominion of his
frenzy, Laura, the self-denied Laura, was endeavouring, though it must
be owned without distinguished success, to silence the pleadings of a
heart as warm, though better regulated, by attending to the humble
duties of the hour.
When she quitted Hargrave, she had retired to offer up her fervent
thanks to Heaven, that he was become sensible of the enormity of his
former conduct. Earnestly did she pray, that, though earth should never
witness their union, they might be permitted together to join a nobler
society--animated by yet purer love--bound by yet holier ties. She next
reconsidered her own behaviour towards Hargrave; and, though vexed at
the momentary desertion of her self-command, saw, upon the whole, little
cause to reproach herself, since her weakness had been merely that of
body, to which the will gave no consent. She resolved to be guardedly
cautious in her future demeanour towards him; and since the issue of his
probation was doubtful, since its close was at all events distant, to
forfeit the enjoyment of her lover's company, rather than, by remaining
in the room during his visits, appear to consider them as meant for
herself.
As soon as Hargrave was gone, Montreville returned to his chamber; and
there Laura ordered his small but delicate repast to be served, excusing
herself from partaking of it, by saying that she could dine more
conveniently in the parlour. Having in the morning bestowed on the
beggar the meagre fare that should have supplied her own wants, she
employed the time of her father's meal, in the labour which was to
purchase him another; pondering meanwhile on the probability that he
would again enter on the discussion of Hargrave's pretensions. To this
subject she felt unconquerable repugnance; and though she knew that it
must at last be canvassed, and that she must at last assign a reason for
her conduct, she would fain have put off the evil hour.
She delayed her evening visit to her father, till he grew impatient for
it, and sent for her to his apartment. The moment she entered the room,
he began, as she had anticipated, to inquire into the particulars of her
interview with Hargrave. The language of Laura's reply was not very
perspicuous; the manner of it was more intelligible: and Montreville,
instantly comprehended the nature of her conference with the Colonel.
'He has then given you an opportunity of repairing your former
rashness,' said Montreville, with eagerness,--'and your answer?'
'Colonel Hargrave had his answer long ago, Sir', replied Laura,
trembling at this exordium. Montreville sighed heavily, and, fixing his
eyes mournfully upon her, remained silent. At last, affectionately
taking her hand, he said, 'My dear child, the time has been, when even
your caprices on this subject were sacred with your father. While I had
a shelter, however humble--an independence, however small, to offer you,
your bare inclination determined mine. But now your situation is
changed--fatally changed; and no trivial reasons would excuse me for
permitting your rejection of an alliance so unexceptionable, so
splendid. Tell me, then, explicitly, what are your objections to Colonel
Hargrave?'
Laura remained silent, for she knew not how to frame her reply. 'Is it
possible that he can be personally disagreeable to you?' continued
Montreville. 'Disagreeable!' exclaimed Laura, thrown off her guard by
astonishment. 'Colonel Hargrave is one whom any woman might--whom no
woman could know without--' 'Without what?' said Montreville, with a
delighted smile. But Laura, shocked at the extent of her own admission,
covered her face with her hands, and almost in tears, made no reply.
'Well, my love,' said Montreville, more cheerfully than he had spoken
for many a day. 'I can interpret all this, and will not persecute you.
But you must still suffer me to ask what strange reasons could induce
you to reject wealth and title, offered by a man not absolutely
disagreeable?' Laura strove to recollect herself, and deep crimson
dying her beautiful face and neck, she said without venturing to lift
her eyes, 'You yourself have told me, Sir, that Colonel Hargrave is a
man of gallantry, and, believe me, with such a man I should be most
miserable.'
'Come, come, Laura,' said Montreville, putting his arm around her,
'confess, that some little fit of jealousy made you answer Hargrave
unkindly at first, and that now a little female pride, or the obstinacy
of which we used to accuse you fifteen years ago, makes you unwilling to
retract.'
'No, indeed,' returned Laura, with emotion, 'Colonel Hargrave has never
given me cause to be jealous of his affection. But jealousy would feebly
express the anguish with which his wife would behold his vices,
degrading him in the eyes of men, and making him vile in the sight of
Heaven.'
'My love,' said Montreville, 'your simplicity and ignorance of the world
make you attach far too great importance to Hargrave's little
irregularities. I am persuaded that a wife whom he loved would have no
cause to complain of them.'
'She would at least have no right to complain,' returned Laura, 'if,
knowing them, she chose to make the hazardous experiment.'
'But I am certain,' said Montreville, 'that a passion such as he
evidently feels for you, would ensure his perfect reformation; and that
a heart so warm as Hargrave's, would readily acknowledge all the claims
upon a husband's and a father's love.'
Laura held down her head, and, for a moment, surrendered her fancy to
prospects, rainbow-like, bright but unreal. Spite of the dictates of
sober sense, the vision was cheering; and a smile dimpled her cheek
while she said, 'But since this reformation is so easy and so certain,
would it be a grievous delay to wait for its appearance.'
'Ah Laura!' Montreville began, 'this is no time for--' 'Nay, now,'
interrupted Laura, sportively laying her hand upon his mouth,
'positively I will be no more lectured tonight. Besides I have got a new
book for you from the library, and the people insisted upon having it
returned to-morrow.' 'You are a spoiled girl,' said Montreville, fondly
caressing her, and he dropped the subject with the less reluctance,
because he believed that his wishes, aided as he perceived they were, by
an advocate in Laura's own breast, were in a fair train for
accomplishment. He little knew how feeble was the influence of
inclination over the decisions of her self-controlling spirit.
To prevent him from returning to the topic he had quitted, she read
aloud to him till his hour of rest; and then retired to her chamber to
labour as formerly, till the morning was far advanced.
CHAPTER XVII
Laura had it now in her power to discharge her debt to the surgeon, and
she was resolved that it should immediately be paid. When, therefore, he
called in the morning to make his daily visit, she met him before he
entered Montreville's chamber, and requested to speak with him in the
parlour.
She began by saying, she feared that medicine could be of little use to
her father, to which Dr Flint readily assented, declaring, in his dry
way, that generous food and open air would benefit him more than all the
drugs in London. Laura begged him to say explicitly so to the Captain,
and to give that as a reason for declining to make him any more
professional visits. She then presented him a paper containing four
guineas, which she thought might be the amount of his claim. He took the
paper, and deliberately unfolding it, returned one-half of its contents;
saying, that his account had been settled so lately, that the new one
could not amount to more than the sum he retained. Laura, who having now
no favour to beg, no debt that she was unable to pay, was no longer
ashamed of her poverty, easily opened to Dr Flint so much of her
situation as was necessary to instruct him in the part he had to act
with Montreville. He made no offer to continue his visits, even as an
acquaintance, but readily undertook all that Laura required of him,
adding, 'Indeed, Miss Montreville, I should have told your father long
ago that physic was useless to him, but whimsical people must have
something to amuse them, and if he had not paid for my pills, he would
for some other man's.' He then went to Montreville, and finding him in
better spirits than he had lately enjoyed, actually succeeded in
persuading him, for that day at least, that no new prescription was
necessary, and that he could continue to use the old without the
inspection of a surgeon.
Laura's mind was much relieved by her having settled this affair to her
wish; and when the Doctor was gone, she sat down cheerfully to her
drawing. Her meeting with Hargrave had lightened her heart of a load
which had long weighed upon it more heavily than she was willing to
allow; and, spite of poverty, she was cheerful. 'I have now only hunger
and toil to endure,' thought she, smiling as gaily as if hunger and toil
had been trifles; 'but light will be my labours, for by them I can in
part pay back my debt of life to my dear kind father. I am no more
forlorn and deserted, for he is come who is sunshine to Laura's soul.
The cloud that darkened him has passed away, and he will brighten all my
after life. Oh fondly beloved! with thee I would have been content to
tread the humblest path; but, if we must climb the steeps, together we
will court the breeze, together meet the storm. No time shall change the
love I bear thee. Thy step, when feeble with age, shall still be music
to Laura's ear. When the lustre of the melting eyes is quenched, when
the auburn ringlet fades to silver, dearer shalt thou be to me than in
all the pride of manly beauty. And when at last the dust shall cover us,
one tree shall shelter our narrow beds, and the wind that fans the
flowers upon thy grave, shall scatter their fallen leaves upon mine.'
Casting these thoughts into the wild extempore measures which are
familiar to the labourers of her native mountains,[A] Laura was singing
them to one of the affecting melodies of her country, her sweet voice
made more sweet by the magic of real tenderness, when the door opened,
and Hargrave himself entered.
[A] See Jamieson's Popular Ballads, Vol. ii, p. 558.
He came, resolved to exert all his influence, to urge every plea which
the affection of Laura would allow him, in order to extort her consent
to their immediate union; and he was too well convinced of his power to
be very diffident of success. Laura ceased her song in as much confusion
as if her visitor had understood the language in which it was composed,
or could have known himself to be the subject of it. He had been
listening to its close, and now urged her to continue it, but was unable
to prevail. He knew that she was particularly sensible to the charms of
music. He had often witnessed the effect of her own pathetic voice upon
her feelings; and he judged that no introduction could be more proper to
a conference in which he intended to work on her sensibility. He
therefore begged her to sing a little plaintive air with which she had
often drawn tears from his eyes. But Laura knew that, as her father was
still in bed, she could not without rudeness avoid a long tte  tte
with Hargrave, and therefore she did not choose to put her composure to
any unnecessary test. She excused herself from complying with his
request, but glad to find any indifferent way to pass the time, she
offered to sing, if he would allow her to choose her own song, and then
began a lively air, which she executed with all the vivacity that she
could command. The style of it was quite at variance with Hargrave's
present humour and design. He heard it with impatience; and scarcely
thanking her said, 'Your spirits are high this morning, Miss
Montreville.'
'They are indeed,' replied Laura, gaily, 'I hope you have no intention
to make them otherwise.'
'Certainly not; though they are little in unison with my own. The
meditations of a restless, miserable night, have brought me to you.'
'Is it the usual effect of a restless night to bring you abroad so early
the next morning?' said Laura, anxious to avoid a trial of strength in a
sentimental conference.
'I will be heard seriously,' said Hargrave, colouring with anger, 'and
seriously too I must be answered.'
'Nay,' said Laura, 'if you look so tremendous I shall retreat without
hearing you at all.'
Hargrave, who instantly saw that he had not chosen the right road to
victory, checked his rising choler--'Laura,' said he, 'you have yourself
made me the victim of a passion ungovernable--irresistible; and it is
cruel--it is ungenerous in you to sport with my uneasiness.'
'Do not give the poor passion such hard names,' said Laura, smiling.
'Perhaps you have never tried to resist or govern it.'
'As soon might I govern the wind,' cried Hargrave, vehemently,--'as soon
resist the fires of Heaven. And why attempt to govern it?'
'Because,' answered Laura, 'it is weak, it is sinful, to submit
unresisting to the bondage of an imperious passion.'
'Would that you too would submit unresisting to its bondage!' said
Hargrave, delighted to have made her once more serious. 'But if this
passion is sinful,' continued he, 'my reformation rests with you alone.
Put a period to my lingering trial. Consent to be mine, and hush all
these tumults to rest.'
'Take care how you furnish me with arguments against yourself,' returned
Laura, laughing. 'Would it be my interest, think you, to lull all these
transports to such profound repose?'
'Be serious Laura, I implore you. Well do you know that my love can end
only with my existence, but I should no longer be distracted with these
tumultuous hopes and fears if--' 'Oh,' cried Laura, interrupting him,
'hope is too pleasing a companion for you to wish to part with that;
and,' added she, a smile and a blush contending upon her cheek, 'I begin
to believe that your fears are not very troublesome.' 'Ah Laura,' said
Hargrave sorrowfully, 'you know not what you say. There are moments when
I feel as if you were already lost to me--and the bare thought is
distraction. Oh if you have pity for real suffering,' continued he,
dropping on his knees, 'save me from the dread of losing you; forget the
hour of madness in which I offended you. Restore to me the time when you
owned that I was dear to you. Be yet more generous, and give me
immediate, unalienable right to your love.'
'You forget, Colonel Hargrave,' said Laura, again taking sanctuary in an
appearance of coldness; 'you forget that six months ago I fixed two
years of rectitude as the test of your repentance, and that you were
then satisfied with my decision.'
'I would then have blessed you for any sentence that left me a hope,
however distant; but now the time when I may claim your promise seems at
such a hopeless distance--Oh Laura, let me but prevail with you; and I
will bind myself by the most solemn oaths to a life of unsullied
purity.'
'No oaths,' replied Laura with solemnity, 'can strengthen the ties that
already bind you to a life of purity. That you are of noble rank, calls
you to be an example to others; and the yet higher distinction of an
immortal spirit bids you strive after virtues that may never meet the
eye of man. Only convince me that such are the objects of your ambition,
and I shall no longer fear to trust with you my improvement and my
happiness.'
As she spoke unusual animation sparkled in her eyes, and tinged her
delicate cheek with brighter colouring. 'Lovely, lovely creature!' cried
Hargrave, in transport, 'give but thyself to these fond arms, and may
Heaven forsake me if I strive not to make thee blest beyond the sweetest
dreams of youthful fancy.'
'Alas!' said Laura, 'even your affection would fail to bless a heart
conscious of acting wrong.'
'Where is the wrong,' said Hargrave, gathering hope from the relenting
tenderness of her voice, 'Where is the wrong of yielding to the
strongest impulse of nature--or, to speak in language more like your
own, where is the guilt of submitting to an ordinance of Heaven's own
appointment?'
'Why,' replied Laura, 'will you force me to say what seems unkind? Why
compel me to remind you that marriage was never meant to sanction the
unholy connection of those whose principles are discordant?'
'Beloved of my heart,' said Hargrave, passionately kissing her hand,
'take me to thyself, and mould me as thou wilt. I swear to thee that not
even thine own life shall be more pure, more innocent than mine. Blest
in thy love, what meaner pleasure could allure me. Oh yield then, and
bind me for ever to virtue and to thee.'
Laura shook her head. 'Ah Hargrave,' said she, with a heavy sigh,
'before you can love and practice the purity which reaches the heart,
far other loves must warm, far other motives inspire you.'
'No other love can ever have such power over me,' said Hargrave with
energy. 'Be but thou and thy matchless beauty the prize, and every
difficulty is light, every sacrifice trivial.'
'In little more than a year,' said Laura, 'I shall perhaps ask some
proofs of the influence you ascribe to me; but till then'--
'Long, long before that time,' cried Hargrave, striking his forehead in
agony, 'you will be lost to me for ever,' and he paced the room in
seeming despair. Laura looked at him with a pity not unmixed with
surprise. 'Hear me for a moment,' said she, with the soothing voice and
gentle aspect, which had always the mastery of Hargrave's feelings, and
he was instantly at her side, listening with eagerness to every tone
that she uttered, intent on every variation of her countenance.
'There are circumstances,' she continued, her transparent cheek glowing
with bright beauty, tears in her downcast eyes trembling through the
silken lashes--'There are circumstances that may change me, but time and
absence are not of the number. Be but true to yourself, and you have
nothing to fear. After this assurance, I trust it will give you little
pain to hear that, till the stipulated two years are ended, if we are to
meet, it must not be without witnesses.'
'Good Heavens! Laura, why this new, this intolerable restriction--What
can induce you thus wilfully to torment me?'
'Because,' answered the blushing Laura, with all her natural simplicity,
'because I might not always be able to listen to reason and duty rather
than to you.'
'Oh that I could fill thee with a love that should for ever silence the
cold voice of reason!' cried Hargrave, transported by her confession;
and, no longer master of himself, he would have clasped her in his arms.
But Laura, to whose mind his caresses ever recalled a dark page in her
story, recoiled as from pollution, the glow of ingenuous modesty giving
place to the paleness of terror.
No words envenomed with the bitterest malice, could have stung Hargrave
to such frenzy as the look and the shudder with which Laura drew back
from his embrace. His eyes flashing fire, his pale lips quivering with
passion, he reproached her with perfidy and deceit; accused her of
veiling her real aversion under the mask of prudence and principle; and
execrated his own folly in submitting so long to be the sport of a
cold-hearted, tyrannical, obdurate woman. Laura stood for some minutes
gazing on him with calm compassion. But displeased at his groundless
accusations, she disdained to soothe his rage. At last, wearied of
language which, for the present, expressed much more of hatred than of
love, she quietly moved towards the door. 'I see you can be very calm,
Madam,' said Hargrave, stopping her, 'and I can be as calm as yourself,'
added he, with a smile like a moon-beam on a thunder cloud, making the
gloom more fearful.
'I hope you soon will be so,' replied Laura coldly. 'I am so now,' said
Hargrave, his voice half-choked with the effort to suppress his passion.
'I will but stay to take leave of your father, and then free you for
ever from one so odious to you.'
'That must be as you please, Sir,' said Laura, with spirit; 'but, for
the present, I must be excused from attending you.' She then retired to
her own chamber, which immediately adjoined the painting-room; and with
tears reflected on the faint prospects of happiness that remained for
the wife of a man whose passions were so ungovernable. Even the ardour
of his love, for which vanity would have found ready excuse in many a
female breast, was to Laura subject of unfeigned regret, as excluding
him from the dominion of better motives, and the pursuit of nobler ends.
Hargrave was no sooner left to himself than his fury began to evaporate.
In a few minutes he was perfectly collected, and the first act of his
returning reason was to upbraid him with his treatment of Laura. 'Is it
to be wondered that she shrinks from me,' said he, the tears of
self-reproach rising to his eyes, 'when I make her the sport of all my
frantic passions? But she shall never again have cause to complain of
me--let but her love this once excuse me, and henceforth I will treat
her with gentleness like her own.'
There is no time in the life of a man so tedious, as that which passes
between the resolution to repair a wrong, and the opportunity to make
the reparation. Hargrave wondered whether Laura would return to conduct
him to her father; feared that she would not--hoped that she
would--thought he heard her footstep--listened--sighed--and tried to
beguile the time by turning over her drawings.
Almost the first that met his eye, was a sketch of features well known
to him. He started and turned pale. He sought for a name upon the
reverse; there was none, and he again breathed more freely. 'This must
be accident,' said he; 'De Courcy is far from London--yet it is very
like;' and he longed more than ever for Laura's appearance. He sought
refuge from his impatience in a book which lay upon the table. It was
the Pleasures of Hope, and marked in many parts of the margins with a
pencil. One of the passages so marked was that which begins,
'Thy pencil traces on the lover's thought
'Some cottage home, from towns and toil remote,
'Where love and lore may claim alternate hours,' &c.
And Hargrave surrendered himself to the pleasing dream that Laura had
thought of him, while she approved the lines. 'Her name, written by her
own snowy fingers, may be here,' said he, and he turned to the
title-page, that he might press it, with a lover's folly, to his
lips--The title-page was inscribed with the name of Montague De Courcy.
The glance of the basilisk was not more powerful. Motionless he gazed on
the words, till all the fiends of jealousy taking possession of his
soul, he furiously dashed the book upon the ground 'False, false siren,'
he cried, 'is this the cause of all your coldness--your loathing?' And
without any wish but to exclude her for ever from his sight, he rushed
like a madman out of the house.
He darted forward, regardless of the snow that was falling on his
uncovered head, till it suddenly occurred to him that he would not
suffer her to triumph in the belief of having deceived him. 'No,' cried
he, 'I will once more see that deceitful face; reproach her with her
treachery; enjoy her confusion, and then spurn her from me for ever.'
He returned precipitately to the house; and, flying up stairs, saw
Laura, the traces of melancholy reflection on her countenance, waiting
for admission at her father's door. 'Madam', said he, in a voice
scarcely articulate, 'I must speak with you for a few minutes.' 'Not for
a moment, Sir,' said Laura, laying her hand upon the lock. 'Yes, by
Heaven, you shall hear me,' cried Hargrave; and rudely seizing her, he
forced her into the painting-room, and bolted the door.
'Answer me,' said he fiercely, 'how came that book into your
possession?' pointing to it as it still lay upon the floor. 'When have
you this infernal likeness? Speak!'
Laura looked at the drawing, then at the book, and at once understood
the cause of her lover's frenzy. Sincere compassion filled her heart;
yet she felt how unjust was the treatment which she received; and, with
calm dignity, said, 'I will answer all your questions, and then you will
judge whether you have deserved that I should do so.'
'Whom would not that face deceive?' said Hargrave, gnashing his teeth in
agony. 'Speak sorceress--tell me, if you dare, that this is not the
portrait of De Courcy--that he is not the lover for whom I am loathed
and spurned.'
'That is the portrait of De Courcy,' replied Laura, with the simple
majesty of truth. 'It is the sketch from which I finished a picture for
his sister. That book too is his,' and she stooped to lift it from the
ground. 'Touch not the vile thing,' cried Hargrave in a voice of
thunder. With quiet self-possession, Laura continued, 'Mr De Courcy's
father was, as you know, the friend of mine. Mr De Courcy himself was,
when an infant, known to my father; and they met, providentially met,
when we had great need of a considerate friend. That friend Mr De Courcy
was to us, and no selfish motive sullied his benevolence; for he is not,
nor ever was, nor, I trust, ever will be, known to me as a lover!'
The voice of sober truth had its effect upon Hargrave, and he said, more
composedly, 'Will you then give me your word, that De Courcy is not, nor
ever will be, dear to you?'
'No!' answered Laura, 'I will not say so, for he must be loved wherever
his virtues are known; but I have no regard for him that should disquiet
you. It is not such,' continued she, struggling with the rising
tears--'it is not such as would pardon outrage, and withstand neglect,
and humble itself before unjust aspersion.'
'Oh Laura,' said Hargrave, at once convinced and softened, 'I must
believe you, or my heart will burst.'
'I have a right to be believed,' returned Laura, endeavouring to rally
her spirits. 'Now, then, release me, after convincing me that the
passion of which you boast so much, is consistent with the most insolent
disrespect, the most unfounded suspicion.' But Hargrave was again at her
feet, exhausting every term of endearment, and breathing forth the most
fervent petitions for forgiveness.
Tears, which she could no longer suppress, now streamed down Laura's
cheeks, while she said, 'How could you suspect me of the baseness of
pretending a regard which I did not feel, of confirming engagements from
which my affections revolted!' Hargrave, half wild with the sight of her
tears, bitterly reproached himself with his injustice; vowed that he
believed her all perfection; that, with all a woman's tenderness, she
possessed the truth and purity of angels, and that, could she this once
pardon his extravagance, he would never more offend. But Laura, vexed
and ashamed of her weakness, insisted on her release in a tone that
would be obeyed, and Hargrave, too much humbled to be daring,
unwillingly suffered her to retire.
In the faint hope of seeing her again, he waited till Montreville was
ready to admit him; but Laura was not with her father, nor did she
appear during the remainder of his visit. Desirous to know in what light
she had represented their affair, in order that his statement might
tally with hers, he again avoided the subject, resolving that next day
he should be better prepared to enter upon it. With this view, he
returned to Montreville's lodgings early in the next forenoon, hoping
for an opportunity to consult with Laura before seeing her father. He
was shewn into the parlour, which was vacant. He waited long, but Laura
came not. He sent a message to beg that she would admit him, and was
answered that she was sorry it was not in her power. He desired the
messenger to say that his business was important, but was told that Miss
Montreville was particularly engaged. However impatient, he was obliged
to submit. He again saw Montreville without entering upon the subject so
near his heart; and left the house without obtaining even a glimpse of
Laura.
The following day he was equally unsuccessful. He indeed saw Laura; but
it was only in the presence of her father, and she gave him no
opportunity of addressing her particularly. Finding that she adhered to
the resolution she had expressed, of seeing him no more without
witnesses, he wrote to her, warmly remonstrating against the barbarity
of her determination, and beseeching her to depart from it, if only in a
single instance. The billet received no answer, and Laura continued to
act as before.
Fretted almost to fever, Hargrave filled whole pages with the
description of his uneasiness, and complaints of the cruelty which
caused it. In conclusion, he assured Laura that he could no longer
refrain from confiding his situation to her father; and entreated to see
her, were it only to learn in what terms she would permit him to mention
their engagement. This letter was rather more successful than the
former; for, though Laura made no reply to the first part, she answered
the close by a few cautious lines, leaving Hargrave, excepting in one
point, at full liberty as to his communications with her father.
Thus authorized, he seized the first opportunity of conversing with
Montreville. He informed him that he had reason to believe himself not
indifferent to Laura; but that, some of his little irregularities coming
to her knowledge, she had sentenced him to a probation which was yet to
continue for above a year. Though Hargrave guarded his words so as to
avoid direct falsehood, the conscious crimson rose to his face as he
uttered this subterfuge. But he took instant refuge in the idea that he
had no choice left; and that, if there was any blame, it in fact
belonged to Laura, for forcing him to use concealment. He did yet more.
He erected his head, and planted his foot more firmly, as he thought,
that what he dared to do he dared to justify, were he not proud to yield
to the commands of love, and humanely inclined to spare the feelings of
a sick man. He proceeded to assure Montreville, that though he must
plead guilty to a few youthful indiscretions, Laura might rely upon his
constancy and fidelity. Finally, addressing himself to what he conceived
to be the predominant failing of age, he offered to leave the grand
affair of settlements to Montreville's own decision; demanding only in
return, that the father would use his interest, or even his authority,
if necessary, to obtain his daughter's consent to an immediate union.
Montreville answered, that he had long desisted from the use of
authority with Laura, but that his influence was at the Colonel's
service; and he added, with a smile, that he believed that neither would
be very necessary.
In consequence of this promise, Montreville sought an opportunity of
conversing on this subject with his daughter; but she shewed such
extreme reluctance to enter upon it, and avoided it with such sedulous
care, that he could not immediately execute his design. He observed,
too, that she looked ill, that she was pale and languid. Though she
would not confess any ailment, he could not help fearing that all was
not right; and he waited the appearance of recovered strength, ere he
should enter on a topic which was never heard by her without strong
emotion. But Laura looked daily more wretched. Her complexion became
wan, her eyes sunk, and her lips colourless.
Hargrave observed the change, and, half persuaded that it was the effect
of his own capricious behaviour at their last interview, he became more
anxious for a private conference, in which his tenderness might sooth
her to forgetfulness of his errors. When she was quitting the room, he
often followed her to the door, and entreated to be heard for a single
moment. But the utmost he could obtain was a determined 'I cannot,' or a
hasty 'I dare not,' and in an instant she had vanished.
Indeed watching and abstinence, though the chief, were not the only
causes of Laura's sickly aspect. Hargrave's violence had furnished her
with new and painful subjects of meditation. While yet she thought him
all perfection, he had often confessed to her the warmth of his temper,
with a candour which convinced her (anxious as she was to be so
convinced) that he was conscious of his natural tendency, and vigilantly
guarded it from excess; consequently, that to the energy of the
passionate he united the justice of the cool. She had never witnessed
any instance of his violence; for since their first acquaintance, she
had herself, at least while she was present, been his only passion. All
things unconnected with it were trivial in his estimation; and till the
hour which had roused her caution, she had unconsciously soothed this
tyrant of his soul with perpetual incense, by proofs of her tenderness,
which, though unobserved by others, were not lost upon the vanity of
Hargrave. Successful love shedding a placid gentleness upon his really
polished manners, he had, without intention to deceive, completely
misled Laura's judgment of his character. Now he had turned her eyes
from the vision, and compelled her to look upon the reality; and with
many a bitter tear she lamented that ever she suffered her peace to
depend upon an union which, even if accomplished, promised to compensate
transient rapture with abiding disquiet.
But still fondly attached, Laura took pleasure in persuading herself
that a mere defect of temper was not such a fault as entitled her to
withdraw her promise; and having made this concession, she soon
proceeded to convince herself, that Hargrave's love would make ample
amends for occasional suffering, however severe. Still she assured
herself that if, at the stipulated time, he produced not proofs of real
improvement, much more if that period were stained with actual vice, she
would, whatever it might cost her, see him no more. She determined to
let nothing move her to shorten his probation, nor to be satisfied
without the strictest scrutiny into the manner in which it had been
spent.
Aware of the difficulty of withstanding the imploring voice, the
pleading eyes of Hargrave, she would not venture into temptation for the
mere chance of escape; and adhered to her resolution of affording him no
opportunity to practise on her sensibility. Nor was this a slight
exercise of self-denial, for no earthly pleasure could bring such joy to
Laura's heart, as the assurance, however oft repeated, that she was
beloved. Yet, day after day, she withstood his wishes, and her own; and
generally spent the time of his visits in drawing.
Meanwhile, her delicate face and slender form gave daily greater
indications of malady. Montreville, utterly alarmed, insisted upon
sending for medical advice; but Laura, with a vehemence most unusual to
her, opposed this design, telling him, that if he persisted in it,
vexation would cause the reality of the illness which at present was
merely imaginary.
The Captain was however the only member of the family who did not
conjecture the true cause of Laura's decay. The servant who attended
her, reported to her mistress, that the slender repast was always
presented, untouched by Laura, to her father; that her drink was only
water, her fare coarse and scanty; and that often, a few morsels of dry
bread were the only sustenance of the day. Mrs Stubbs, who entertained a
suitable contempt for poverty, was no sooner informed of these
circumstances, than she recollected with indignation the awe with which
Laura had involuntarily inspired her; and determined to withdraw part of
her misplaced respect. But Laura had an air of command, a quiet majesty
of demeanour, that seemed destined to distance vulgar impertinence; and
Mrs Stubbs was compelled to continue her unwilling reverence.
Determined, however, that though her pride might suffer, her interest
should not, she dropped such hints as induced Laura to offer the payment
of the lodgings a week in advance, an offer which was immediately
accepted.
In spite of Laura's utmost diligence, this arrangement left her almost
pennyless. She was obliged, in that inclement season, to give up even
the comfort of a fire; and more than once passed the whole night in
labouring to supply the wants of the following day.
In the meantime, Hargrave continued to pay his daily visits, and Laura
to frustrate all his attempts to speak with her apart. His patience was
entirely exhausted. He urged Montreville to the performance of his
promise, and Montreville often approached the subject with his daughter,
but she either evaded it, or begged with such pathetic earnestness to be
spared a contest which she was unable to bear, that, when he looked on
the sickly delicacy of her frame, he had not courage to persecute her
further. Convinced, however, that Laura's affections were completely
engaged, he became daily more anxious that she should not sacrifice them
to what he considered as mistaken prudence; especially since Hargrave
had dropped a hint, which, though not so intended, had appeared to
Montreville to import, that his addresses, if rejected in the present
instance, would not be renewed at the distant date to which Laura chose
to postpone them.
The father's constant anxiety for the health and happiness of his child
powerfully affected both his strength and spirits; and he was soon more
languid and feeble than ever. His imagination, too, betrayed increased
symptoms of its former disease, and he became more persuaded that he was
dying. The selfishness of a feeble mind attended his ailments, and he
grew less tender of his daughter's feelings, less fearful to wound her
sensibility. To hints of his apprehensions for his own life, succeeded
direct intimations of his conviction that his end was approaching; and
Laura listened, with every gradation of terror, to prophetic forebodings
of the solitude, want, and temptation, to which she must soon be
abandoned.
Pressed by Hargrave's importunities, and weary of waiting for a
voluntary change in Laura's conduct towards her lover, Montreville at
last resolved that he would force the subject which she was so anxious
to shun. For this purpose, detaining her one morning in his apartment,
he entered on a melancholy description of the perils which await
unprotected youth and beauty; and explicitly declared his conviction,
that to these perils he must soon leave his child. Laura endeavoured, as
she was wont, to brighten his dark imagination, and to revive his
fainting hope. But Montreville would now neither suffer her to enliven
her prospects, nor to divert him from the contemplation of them. He
persisted in giving way to his dismal anticipations, till, spite of her
efforts, Laura's spirits failed her, and she could scarcely refrain from
shedding tears.
Montreville saw that she was affected; and fondly putting his arm round
her, continued, 'Yet still, my sweet Laura, you, who have been the pride
of my life, you can soften to me the bitterness of death. Let me but
commit you to the affection of the man whom I know that you prefer, and
my fears and wishes shall linger no more in this nether world.'
'Oh Sir,' said Laura, 'I beseech, I implore you to spare me on this
subject.' 'No!' answered Montreville, 'I have been silent too long. I
have too long endangered your happiness, in the dread of giving you
transient pain. I must recur to'--
'My dear father,' interrupted Laura, 'I have already spoken to you on
this subject--spoken to you with a freedom which I know not where I
found courage to assume. I can only repeat the same sentiments; and
indeed, indeed, unless you were yourself in my situation, you cannot
imagine with what pain I repeat them.'
'I would willingly respect your delicacy,' said Montreville, 'but this
is no time for frivolous scruples. I must soon leave thee, child of my
affections! My eyes must watch over thee no more; my ear must be closed
to the voice of thy complaining. Oh then, give me the comfort to know
that other love will console, other arms protect thee.'
'Long, long,' cried Laura, clasping his neck, 'be your affection my
joy--long be your arms my shelter. But alas! what love could console me
under the sense of acting wrong--what could protect me from an avenging
conscience?'
'Laura, you carry your scruples too far. When I look on these wan cheeks
and lustreless eyes, you cannot conceal from me that you are sacrificing
to these scruples your own peace, as well as that of others.'
'Ah Sir,' said Laura, who from mere despair of escape, gathered courage
to pursue the subject, 'What peace can I hope to find in a connexion
which reason and religion alike condemn?'
'That these have from childhood been your guides, has ever been my joy
and my pride,' returned Montreville. 'But in this instance you forge
shackles for yourself, and then call them the restraints of reason and
religion. It were absurd to argue on the reasonableness of preferring
wealth and title, with the man of your choice, to a solitary struggle
with poverty, or a humbling dependence upon strangers. And how, my dear
girl, can any precept of religion be tortured into a restriction on the
freedom of your choice?'
'Pardon me, Sir, the law which I endeavour to make my guide is here full
and explicit. In express terms it leaves me free to marry whom I will,
but with this grand reservation, that I marry "only in the Lord." It
cannot be thought that this limitation refers only to a careless assent
to the truth of the Gospel, shedding no purifying influence on the heart
and life. And can I hope for happiness in a wilful defiance of this
restriction?'
'If I could doubt,' said Montreville, avoiding a reply to what was
unanswerable--'if I could doubt that a union with Colonel Hargrave would
conduce to your happiness, never should I thus urge you. But I have no
reason to believe that his religious principles are unsound, though the
follies incident to his sex, and the frailty of human nature, may have
prevailed against him.'
'My dear Sir,' cried Laura impatiently, 'how can you employ such
qualifying language to express--what my soul sickens at. How can my
father urge his child to join to pollution this temple, (and she laid
her hand emphatically on her breast) which my great master has offered
to hallow as his own abode? No! the express command of Heaven forbids
the sacrilege, for I cannot suppose that when man was forbidden to
degrade himself by a union with vileness, the precept was meant to
exclude the sex whose feebler passions afford less plea for yielding to
their power.'
'Whither does this enthusiasm hurry you?' said Montreville, in
displeasure. 'Surely you will not call your marriage with Colonel
Hargrave a union with vileness.' 'Yes,' returned Laura, all the glow of
virtuous animation fading to the paleness of anguish, 'if his vices make
him vile, I must call it so.'
'Your language is much too free, Laura, as your notions are too rigid.
Is it dutiful, think you, to use such expressions in regard to a
connexion which your father approves? Will you call it virtue to sport
with your own happiness, with the peace of a heart that doats upon
you--with the comfort of your dying parent?'
'Oh my father,' cried Laura, sinking on her knees, 'my spirit is already
bowed to the earth--do not crush it with your displeasure. Rather
support my feeble resolution, lest, knowing the right, I should not have
power to choose it.'
'My heart's treasure,' said Montreville, kissing the tears from her
eyes, 'short ever is my displeasure with thee: for I know that though
inexperience may mislead thy judgment, no pleasure can bribe, no fear
betray thy inflexible rectitude. Go on then--convince me if thou canst,
that thou art in the right to choose thy portion amidst self-denial, and
obscurity, and dependence.'
'Would that I were able to convince you,' returned Laura, 'and then you
would no longer add to the difficulties of this fearful struggle. Tell
me then, were Colonel Hargrave your son, and were I what I cannot name,
could any passion excuse, any circumstances induce you to sanction the
connexion for which you now plead?'
'My dear love,' said Montreville, 'the cases are widely different. The
world's opinion affixes just disgrace to the vices in your sex, which in
ours it views with more indulgent eyes.' 'But I,' returned Laura, 'when
I took upon me the honoured name of Christian, by that very act became
bound that the opinion of the world should not regulate my principles,
nor its customs guide my practice. Perhaps even the worst of my sex
might plead that the voice of a tempter lured them to perdition; but
what tongue can speak the vileness of that tempter!--Could I promise to
obey him who wilfully leads others to their ruin! Could I honour him
who deceives the heart that trusteth in him! Could I love him who
could look upon a fellow creature--once the image of the highest, now
humbled below the brutes that perish--upon the heir of immortality,
immortal only to misery, and who could, unmoved, unpitying, seek in the
fallen wretch a minister of pleasure!--Love!' continued Laura,
forgetting in the deformity of the hideous image that it was capable of
individual application, 'words cannot express the energy of my
abhorrence!'
'Were Hargrave such--or to continue such'--said Montreville--'Hargrave!'
cried Laura, almost with a shriek, 'Oh God forbid--And yet'--She covered
her face with her hands, and cold drops stood on her forehead, as she
remembered how just cause she had to dread that the portrait might be
his.
'Hargrave,' continued Montreville, 'is not an abandoned profligate,
though he may not have escaped the follies usual to men of his rank; and
he has promised, if you will be favourable to him, to live henceforward
in irreproachable purity. Heaven forgives the sins that are forsaken,
and will you be less lenient?'
'Joyfully will I forgive,' replied Laura, 'when I am assured that they
are indeed abhorred and forsaken'--'They are already forsaken,' said
Montreville; 'it rests with you to confirm Hargrave in the right, by
consenting to his wishes.'
'I ask but the conviction which time alone can bring,' said Laura, 'and
then'--
'And how will you bear it, Laura, if, weary of your perverse delays,
Hargrave should relinquish his suit? How would you bear to see the
affections you have trifled with transferred to another?'
'Better, far better,' answered Laura, 'than to watch the deepening of
those shades of iniquity, that close at last into outer darkness: better
than to see each guilty day advance and seal our eternal separation. To
lose his affection,' continued she with a sickly smile, 'I would bear as
I strive to bear my other burdens; and should they at last prove too
heavy for me, they can but weigh me to the earth, where they and I must
soon rest together.'
'Talk not so, beloved child,' said Montreville, 'a long life is before
you. All the joys that ambition, all the joys that love can offer, are
within your power. A father invites, implores, I will not say commands,
you to accept them. The man of your choice, to whom the proudest might
aspire, whom the coldest of your sex might love, entreats you to confirm
him in the ways of virtue. Consent then to this union, on which my heart
is set, while yet it can be hallowed by the blessing of your dying
father.'
'Oh take pity on me,' Laura would have said, and 'league not with my
weak heart to betray me,' but convulsive sobs were all that she could
utter. 'You consent then,' said Montreville, choosing so to interpret
her silence--'you have yielded to my entreaties, and made me the
happiest of fathers.' 'No! no!' cried Laura, tossing her arms
distractedly, 'I will do right though my heart should break. No, my
father, my dear honoured father, for whom I would lay down my life, not
even your entreaties shall prevail.'
'Ungrateful child,' said Montreville; 'what could you have pleaded for,
that your father would have refused--your father whom anxiety for your
welfare has brought to the gates of the grave, whose last feeling shall
be love to you, whose last words shall bless you.'
'Oh most merciful, most gracious,' cried Laura, clasping her hands, and
raising her eyes in resigned anguish, 'wilt thou suffer me to be tempted
above what I am able to bear! Oh my dear father, if you have pity for
misery unutterable, misery that cannot know relief, spare me now, and
suffer me to think--if to think be yet possible.'
'Hear me but for one moment more,' said Montreville, who from the
violence of her emotion gathered hopes of success. 'Oh no! no!' cried
Laura, 'I must leave you while yet I have the power to do right.' And,
darting from his presence, she shut herself into her chamber. There,
falling on her knees, she mingled bitter expressions of anguish, with
fervent prayers for support, and piteous appeals for mercy.
Becoming by degrees more composed, she endeavoured to fortify her
resolution by every argument of reason and religion which had formerly
guided her determination. She turned to the passages of Scripture which
forbid the unequal yoke with the unbeliever; convinced that the
prohibition applies no less to those whose lives are unchristian, than
to those whose faith is unsound. She asked herself whether she was able
to support those trials (the severest of all earthly ones,) which the
wife of a libertine must undergo; and whether, in temptations which she
voluntarily sought, and sorrows which she of choice encountered, she
should be entitled to expect the divine support. 'Holy Father,' she
cried, 'what peace can enter where thy blessing is withheld! and shall I
dare to mock thee with a petition for that blessing on a union which
thou has forbidden! May I not rather fear that this deliberate
premeditated guilt may be the first step in a race of iniquity! May I
not dread to share in the awful sentence of those who are joined to
their idols, and be "let alone" to wander in the way that leadeth to
destruction?'
Yet, as oft as her father's entreaties rose to her recollection, joined
with the image of Hargrave--of Hargrave beseeching, of Hargrave
impassioned--Laura's resolution faltered; and half-desirous to deceive
herself, she almost doubted of the virtue of that firmness that could
withstand a parent's wish. But Laura was habitually suspicious of every
opinion that favoured her inclinations, habitually aware of the
deceitfulness of her own heart; and she did not, unquestioned, harbour
for a moment the insidious thought that flattered her strongest wishes.
'And had my father commended me to marry where I was averse,' said she,
'would I then have hesitated? Would my father's command have prevailed
on me then to undertake duties which I was unlikely to perform? No:
there I would have resisted. There, authority greater than a father's
would have empowered me to resist; and I know that I should have
resisted even unto death. And shall mere inclination give more firmness
than a sense of duty! Yet, Oh dear father, think me not unmindful of all
your love--or forgetful of a debt that began with my being. For your
sake cold and hunger shall be light to me--for you poverty and toil
shall be pleasing. But what solitary sorrow could equal the pang with
which I should blush before my children for the vices of their father!
What is the wasting of famine to the mortal anguish of watching the
declining love, the transferred desires, the growing depravity of my
husband!'
In thoughts and struggles like these, Laura passed the day alone.
Montreville, though disappointed at his ill success with his daughter,
was not without hope that a lover's prayers might prevail where a
father's were ineffectual; and believing that the season of Laura's
emotion was a favourable one for the attempt, he was anxious for the
daily visit of Hargrave.
But, for the first time since his meeting with Laura, Hargrave did not
appear. In her present frame, Laura felt his absence almost a relief;
but Montreville was uneasy and half alarmed. It was late in the evening
when a violent knocking at the house door startled Montreville, who was
alone in his apartment; and the next minute, without being announced,
Hargrave burst into the room. His hair was dishevelled, his dress
neglected, and his eyes had a wildness which Montreville had never
before seen in them. Abruptly grasping Montreville's hand, he said, in a
voice of one struggling for composure, 'Have you performed your
promise--have you spoken with Laura?'
'I have,' answered Montreville; 'and have urged her, till, had you seen
her, you would yourself have owned that I went too far. But you look'--
'Has she consented,' interrupted Hargrave--'will she give herself to
me?'
Montreville shook his head. 'Her affections are wholly yours,' said he,
'you may yourself be more successful--I fervently wish that you may. But
why this strange emotion? What has happened?'
'Nothing, nothing,' said Hargrave, 'ask me no questions; but let me
speak instantly with Laura.'
'You shall see her,' returned Montreville, opening the door, and calling
Laura, 'Only I beseech you to command yourself, for my poor child is
already half distracted.' 'She is the fitter to converse with me,' said
Hargrave, with a ghastly smile, 'for I am upon the very verge of
madness.'
Laura came at her father's summons; but when she saw Hargrave, the
colour faded from her face, an universal tremour seized her, she
stopped, and leaned on the door for support. 'Colonel Hargrave wishes to
speak with you alone,' said Montreville, 'go with him to the parlour.'
'I cannot,' answered Laura, in words scarcely audible--'this night I
cannot.'
'I command you to go,' said the father in a tone which he had seldom
employed, and Laura instantly prepared to go. 'Surely, surely,' said
she, 'Heaven will not leave me to my own weakness, whilst I act in
obedience to you.'
Perceiving that she trembled violently, Hargrave offered her the support
of his circling arm; but Laura instantly disengaged herself. 'Will you
not lean on me, dearest Laura,' said he; 'perhaps it is for the last
time.'
'I hope,' answered Laura, endeavouring to exert her spirit, 'it will be
the last time that you will avail yourself of my father's authority to
constrain me.'
'Spare me your reproaches, Laura,' said Hargrave, 'for I am desperate.
All that I desire on earth--my life itself depends upon this hour.'
They entered the parlour, and Laura, sinking into a seat, covered her
eyes with her hand, and strove to prepare for answering this new call
upon her firmness.
Hargrave stood silent for some moments. Fain would he have framed a
resistless petition; for the events of that day had hastened the
unravelling of a tale which, once known to Laura, would, he knew, make
all his petitions vain. But his impatient spirit could not wait to
conciliate; and, seizing her hand, he said, with breathless eagerness,
'Laura, you once said that you loved me, and I believed you. Now to the
proof--and if that fail--But I will not distract myself with the
thought. You have allowed me a distant hope. Recall your sentence of
delay. Circumstances which you cannot--must not know, leave you but one
alternative. Be mine now, or you are for ever lost to me.'
Astonished at his words, alarmed by the ill-suppressed vehemence of his
manner, Laura tried to read his altered countenance, and feared she knew
not what. 'Tell me what you mean?' said she. 'What mean these strange
words--these wild looks. Why have you come at this late hour?'
'Ask me nothing,' cried Hargrave, 'but decide. Speak. Will you be
mine--now--to-morrow--within a few hours. Soon, very soon, it will be no
longer possible for you to choose.'
A hectic of resentment kindled in Laura's cheek at the threat of
desertion which she imagined to lurk beneath the words of Hargrave. 'You
have,' said she, 'I know not how, extended my conditional promise to
receive you as a friend far beyond what the terms of it could warrant.
In making even such an engagement, perhaps I condescended too far. But,
admitting it in your own sense, what right have you to suppose that I
am to be weakly terrified into renouncing a resolution formed on the
best grounds?'
'I have no right to expect it,' said Hargrave, in a voice of misery. 'I
came to you in desperation. I cannot--will not survive the loss of you;
and if I prevail not now, you must be lost to me.'
'What means this strange, this presuming haste?' said Laura. 'Why do you
seem thus wretched?'
'I am, indeed, most wretched. Oh Laura, thus on my knees I conjure you
to have pity on me;--or, if it will cost you a pang to lose me, have
pity on yourself. And if thy love be too feeble to bend thy stubborn
will, let a father's wishes, a father's prayers, come to its aid.'
'Oh Hargrave,' cried Laura, bursting into tears, 'how have I deserved
that you should lay on me this heavy load--that you should force me to
resist the entreaties of my father.'
'Do not--Oh do not resist them. Let a father's prayers--let the
pleadings of a wretch whose reason, whose life depends upon you, prevail
to move you.'
'Nothing shall move me,' said Laura, with the firmness of despair, 'for
I am used to misery, and will bear it.'
'And will you bear it too if driven from virtuous love--from domestic
joy, I turn to the bought smile of harlots, forget you in the haunts of
riot, or in the grave of a suicide?'
'Oh for mercy,' cried the terrified Laura, 'talk not so dreadfully. Be
patient--I implore you. Fear not to lose me. Be but virtuous, and no
power of man shall wrest me from you. In poverty--in sickness--in
disgrace itself I will cleave to you.'
'Oh, I believe it,' said Hargrave, moved even to woman's weakness, 'for
thou art an angel. But wilt though cleave to me in--'
'In what', said Laura.
'Ask me nothing--but yield to my earnest entreaty. Save me from the
horrors of losing you; and may Heaven forsake me if ever again I give
you cause to repent of your pity.'
Softened by his imploring looks and gestures, overpowered by his
vehemence, harassed beyond her strength, Laura seemed almost expiring.
But the upright spirit shared not the weakness of its frail abode.
'Cease to importune me,' said she;--'everlasting were my cause of
repentance, should I wilfully do wrong. You may break my heart--it is
already broken, but my resolution is immoveable.'
Fire flashed from the eyes of Hargrave; as, starting from her feet, he
cried, in a voice of frenzy, 'Ungrateful woman, you have never loved
me! You love nothing but the fancied virtue to which I am sacrificed.
But tremble, obdurate, lest I dash from me this hated life, and my
perdition be on your soul!'
'Oh no,' cried Laura, in an agony of terror, 'I will pray for you--pity
you,--what shall I say--love you as never man was loved. Would that it
were possible to do more!'
'Speak then your final rejection,' said Hargrave, grasping her hand with
convulsive energy; 'and abide by the consequence.' 'I must not fear
consequences,' said Laura, trembling in every limb. 'They are in the
hands of Heaven.' 'Then be this first fond parting kiss our last!' cried
Hargrave, and frantickly straining her to his breast, he rushed out of
the room.
Surprise, confusion, a thousand various feelings kept Laura for a while
motionless; till, Hargrave's parting words ringing in her ears, a
dreadful apprehension took possession of her mind. Starting from her
seat, and following him with her arms as if she could still have
detained him, 'Oh Hargrave, what mean you?' she cried. But Hargrave was
already beyond the reach of her voice; and, sinking to the ground, the
wretched Laura found refuge from her misery in long and deep
insensibility.
In the attitude in which she had fallen, her lily arms extended on the
ground, her death-like cheek resting upon one of them, she was found by
a servant who accidentally entered the room, and whose cries soon
assembled the family. Montreville alarmed hastened down stairs, and came
in just as the maid with the assistance of the landlady was raising
Laura, to all appearance dead.
'Merciful Heaven!' he exclaimed, 'what is this?' The unfeeling landlady
immediately expressed her opinion that Miss Montreville had died of
famine, declaring that she had long feared as much. The horror-struck
father had scarcely power to ask her meaning. 'Oh Sir,' said the maid,
sobbing aloud, 'I fear it is but too true--for she cared not for
herself, so you were but well--for she was the sweetest lady that ever
was born--and many a long night has she sat up toiling when the poorest
creature was asleep--for she never cared for herself.'
The whole truth flashed at once upon Montreville, and all the storm,
from which his dutiful child so well had sheltered him, burst upon him
in a moment. 'Oh Laura,' he cried, clasping her lifeless form, 'my only
comfort--my good--my gentle--my blameless child, has thou nourished thy
father with thy life! Oh why didst thou not let me die!' Then laying
his cheek to hers, 'Oh she is cold--cold as clay,' he cried, and the old
man wrung his hands, and sobbed like an infant.
Suddenly he ceased his lamentation; and pressing his hands upon his
breast, uttered a deep groan, and sunk down by the side of his senseless
child. His alarm and agitation burst again the blood-vessel, which
before had been slightly healed, and he was conveyed to bed without hope
of life. A surgeon was immediately found, but he administered his
prescription without expecting its success; and, departing, left the
dying Montreville to the care of the landlady.
The tender-hearted Fanny remained with Laura, and at last succeeded in
restoring her to animation. She then persuaded her to swallow a little
wine, and endeavoured to prevail upon her to retire to bed. But Laura
refused. 'No, my kind, good girl,' said she, laying her arm gratefully
on Fanny's shoulder. 'I must see my father before I sleep. I have
thwarted his will today, and will not sleep without his blessing.' Fanny
then besought her so earnestly not to go to the Captain's chamber, that
Laura, filled as every thought was with Hargrave, took alarm, and would
not be detained. The girl, dreading the consequences of the shock that
awaited her, threw her arms round her to prevent her departure. 'Let me
go,' cried Laura, struggling with her. 'He is ill; I am sure he is ill,
or he would have come to watch and comfort his wretched child.'
Fanny then, with all the gentleness in her power, informed Laura that
Montreville, alarmed by the sight of her fainting, had been suddenly
taken ill. Laura, in terror which effaced the remembrance of all her
former anguish, scarcely suffered her attendant to finish her relation;
but broke from her, and hurried as fast as her tottering limbs would
bear her to her father's chamber.
Softly, on tiptoe, she stole to his bed-side, and drew the curtain. His
eyes were closed, and death seemed already stamped on every feature.
Laura shuddered convulsively, and shrunk back in horror. But the dread
of scaring the spirit from its frail tenement suppressed the cry that
was rising to her lips. Trembling she laid her hand upon his. He looked
up, and a gleam of joy brightened in his dying eyes as they rested on
his daughter. 'Laura, my beloved,' said he, drawing her gently towards
him, 'thou has been the joy of my life. I thank God that thou art spared
to comfort me in death.'
Laura tried to speak the words of hope; but the sounds died upon her
lips.
After a pause of dread silence, Montreville said, 'This is the hour when
thy father was wont to bless thee. Come, and I will bless thee still.'
The weeping Laura sank upon her knees, and Montreville laid one hand
upon her hand, while she still held the other, as if wishing to detain
him. 'My best--my last blessing be upon thee, child of my heart,' said
he. 'The everlasting arms be around thee, when mine can embrace thee no
more. The Father of the fatherless be a parent to thee; support thee in
sorrow; crown thy youth with joy--thy gray hairs with honour; and, when
thou art summoned to thy kindred angels, may thy heart throb its last on
some breast kind and noble as thine own.'
Exhausted by the effort which he had made, Montreville sunk back on his
pillow; and Laura, in agony of supplication, besought Heaven to spare
him to her. 'Father of mercies!' she inwardly ejaculated, 'if it be
possible, save me, oh save me from this fearful stroke,--or take me in
pity from this desolate wilderness to the rest of thy chosen.'
The dead of night came on, and all but the wretched Laura was still.
Montreville breathed softly. Laura thought he slept, and stifled even
her sighs, lest they should wake him. In the stillness of the dead, but
in agony of suspence that baffles description, she continued to kneel by
his bed-side, and to return his relaxing grasp, till she felt a gentle
pressure of her hand, and looked up to interpret the gesture. It was the
last expression of a father's love. Montreville was gone!
CHAPTER XVIII
Colonel Hargrave had been the spoiled child of a weak mother, and he
continued to retain one characteristic of spoiled children; some
powerful stimulant was with him a necessary of life. He despised all
pleasures of regular recurrence and moderate degree; and even looked
down upon those who could be satisfied with such enjoyments, as on
beings confined to a meaner mode of existence. For more than a year
Laura had furnished the animating principle which kept life from
stagnation. When she was present, her beauty, her reserve, her
ill-concealed affection, kept his passions in constant play. In her
absence, the interpretations of looks and gestures, of which she had
been unconscious, and the anticipation of concessions which she thought
not of making, furnished occupation for the many hours which, for want
of literary habit, Colonel Hargrave was obliged to pass in solitude and
leisure, when deprived of fashionable company, public amusements, and
tolerable romances. In a little country town, these latter resources
were soon exhausted, and Hargrave had no associates to supply the blank
among his brother officers; some of whom were low both in birth and
education, and others, from various reasons, rather repelling, than
courting his intimacy. One had a pretty wife, another an unmarried
daughter; and the phlegmatic temperament and reserved manners of a third
tallied not with Hargrave's constitutional warmth. The departure of
Laura, therefore, deprived him at once of the only society that amused,
and the only object that interested him. He was prevented by the caution
of Mrs Douglas from attempting a correspondence with his mistress; and
his muse was exhausted with composing amatory sonnets, and straining
half-imaginary torments into reluctant rhimes.
He soon tired of making sentimental visits to the now deserted
Glenalbert, and grew weary of inspecting his treasures of pilfered
gloves and stray shoe-bows. His new system of reform, too, sat rather
heavily upon him. He was not exactly satisfied with its extent, though
he did not see in what respect he was susceptible of improvement. He had
some suspicion that it was not entitled to the full approbation of the
'wise, the pious, the sober-minded' observers, whom he imagined that
Laura had charged with the inspection of his conduct; and he reflected,
with a mixture of fear and impatience, that by them every action would
be reported to Laura, with all the aggravation of illiberal comment. For
though he did not distinctly define the idea to himself, he cherished a
latent opinion, that the 'wise' would be narrow-minded, the 'pious'
bigotted, and the 'sober-minded' cynical. The feeling of being watched
is completely destructive of comfort, even to those who have least to
conceal; and Colonel Hargrave sought relief at once from restraint and
ennui, in exhibiting, at the Edinburgh races, four horses which were the
envy of all the gentleman, and a person which was the admiration of all
the ladies. His thoughts dissipated, and his vanity gratified, his
passion had never, since its first existence, been so little troublesome
as during his stay in Edinburgh; and once or twice, as he caught a
languishing glance from a gay young heiress, he thought he had been a
little precipitate in changing his first designs in regard to Laura. But
alas! the races endure only for one short week; Edinburgh was deserted
by its glittering birds of passage; and Hargrave returned to his
quarters, to solitude, and to the conviction that, however obtained, the
possession of Laura was necessary to his peace.
Finding that her return was as uncertain as ever, he resolved to follow
her to London; and the caution of Mrs Douglas baffling his attempts to
procure her address from any other quarter, he contrived to obtain it by
bribing one of the under attendants of the Post Office to transcribe for
him the superscription of a letter to Miss Montreville. Delighted with
his success, he could not refuse himself the triumph of making it known
to Mrs Douglas; and, by calling to ask her commands for her young
friend, occasioned the letter of caution from her to Laura, which has
been formerly mentioned.
The moment he reached London, he hastened to make inquiries after the
abode of Captain Montreville; but his search was disappointed by the
accidents which he afterwards related to Laura. Day after day, he hoped
that Laura, by sending to Mr Baynard's chambers, would afford him the
means of discovering her residence. But every day ended in
disappointment; and Hargrave, who, intending to devote all his time to
her, had given no intimation to his friends of his arrival in town,
found himself as solitary, listless, and uncomfortable as before he
quitted Scotland.
One evening, when, to kill the time, he had sauntered into the Theatre,
he renewed his acquaintance with the beautiful Lady Bellamer. Two years
before, Hargrave had been the chief favourite of Lady Bellamer, then
Miss Walpole. Of all the danglers whom beauty, coquetry, and fifty
thousands pounds attracted to her train, none was admitted to such easy
freedom as Hargrave. She laughed more heartily at his wit, whispered
more familiarly in his ear, and slapped him more frequently on the cheek
than any of his rivals. With no other man was she so unreasonable,
troublesome, and ridiculous. In short, she ran through the whole routine
of flirtation, till her heart was entangled, so far at least as the
heart of a coquette is susceptible of that misfortune. But whatever
flames were kindled in the lady's breast, the gentleman, as is usual on
such occasions, escaped with a very slight tinge. While Miss Walpole was
present, his vanity was soothed by her blandishments, and his senses
touched by her charms; but, in her absence, he consoled himself with
half a dozen other affairs of the same kind.
Meanwhile Lord Bellamer entered the lists, and soon distinguished
himself from his competitors, by a question, which, with all her
admirers, Miss Walpole had not often answered. The lady hesitated; for
she could not help contrasting the insignificant starvling figure of her
suitor with the manly beauty of Hargrave's person. But Lord Bellamer had
a title in possession; Hargrave's was only reversionary. His Lordship's
estate, too, was larger than the Colonel's expectations. Besides, she
began to have doubts whether her favourite ever intended to propose the
important question; for though, to awaken his jealousy, she had herself
informed him of Lord Bellamer's pretensions, and though she had played
off the whole artillery of coquetry to quicken his operations, the young
man maintained a resolute and successful resistance. So, after some
fifty sighs given to the well turned leg and sparkling eyes of Hargrave,
Miss Walpole became Lady Bellamer; and this was the only change which
marriage effected in her; for no familiarity could increase her
indifference to Lord Bellamer, and no sacredness of connection can warm
the heart of a coquette. She continued equally assiduous in courting
admiration, equally daring in defying censure; and was content to
purchase the adulation of fools, at the expence of being obliged to the
charity of those who were good-natured enough to say, 'to be sure Lady
Bellamer is a little giddy, but I dare say she means no harm.'
Her husband's departure with his regiment for the continent, made no
change in her way of life, except to save her the trouble of defending
conduct which she would not reform. She continued in London, or at her
villa at Richmond Hill, to enter into every folly which others proposed,
or herself to project new ones.
Meanwhile Hargrave's duty called him to Scotland, where Lady Bellamer
and all her rivals in his attention were entirely forgotten amidst the
superior attractions of Laura; attractions which acted with all the
force of novelty upon a heart accustomed to parry only premeditated
attacks, and to resist charms that were merely corporeal. From an early
date in his acquaintance with Miss Montreville, he had scarcely
recollected the existence of Lady Bellamer, till he found himself in the
next box to her at the theatre. The pleasure that sparkled in the
brightest blue eyes in the world, the flush that tinged her face,
wherever the rouge permitted its natural tints to appear, convinced
Hargrave in a moment that her Ladyship's memory had been more tenacious;
and he readily answered to her familiar nod of invitation, by taking his
place at her side.
They entered into conversation with all the frankness of their former
intimacy. Lady Bellamer inquired how the Colonel had contrived to exist
during eighteen months of rustication; and gave him in return memoirs of
some of their mutual acquaintances. She had some wit, and an exuberance
of animal spirits; and she seasoned her nonsense with such lively
sallies, sly scandal, and adroit flattery, that Hargrave had scarcely
ever passed an evening so gaily. Once or twice, the composed grace, the
artless majesty of Laura, rose to his recollections, and he looked
absent and thoughtful. But his companion rallied him with so much
spirit, that he quickly recovered himself, and fully repaid the
amusement which he received. He accepted Lady Bellamer's invitation to
sup with her after the play, and left her at a late hour, with a promise
to visit her again the next day. From that time, the freedom of their
former intercourse was renewed; with this difference only, that Hargrave
was released from some restraint, by his escape from the danger of
entanglement which necessarily attends particular assiduities towards an
unmarried woman.
Let the fair enchantress tremble who approaches even in thought the
utmost verge of discretion. If she advance but one jot beyond that magic
circle, the evil spirit is ready to seize her, which before, feared even
to rise in her presence. Lady Bellamer became the victim of unpardonable
imprudence on her own part, and mere constitutional tendency on that of
her paramour. To a most blameable levity she sacrificed whatever
remained to be sacrificed, of her reputation, her virtue, and her
marriage vow; while the crime of Hargrave was not palliated by one
sentiment of genuine affection; for she by whom he fell was no more like
the object of his real tenderness, than those wandering lights that
arise from corruption and glimmer only to betray, are to the steady
sunbeam which enlightens, and guides, and purifies where it shines.
Their intercourse continued, with growing passion on the side of the
lady, and expiring inclination on that of the gentleman, till Lady
Bellamer informed him that the consequences of their guilt could not
long be concealed. Her Lord was about to return to his disgraced home;
and she called upon Hargrave to concert with her the means of exchanging
shackles which she would no longer endure for bonds which she could bear
with pleasure, and himself to stand forth the legal protector of his
unborn child. Hargrave heard her with a disgust which he scarcely strove
to conceal; for at that moment Laura stood before him, bewitching in
chastened love--respectable in saintly purity. He remembered that the
bare proposal of a degradation which Lady Bellamer had almost courted,
had once nearly banished the spotless soul from a tenement only less
pure than itself. In fancy he again saw through her casement the
wringing of those snowy hands, those eyes raised in agony, and the
convulsive heavings of that bosom which mourned his unlooked-for
baseness; and he turned from Lady Bellamer, inwardly cursing the hour
when his vows to Laura were sacrificed to a wanton.
The very day after this interview was that in which he accidentally
encountered Laura; and from that moment his whole desire was to make her
his own, before public report should acquaint her with his guilt. He
durst not trust to the strength of her affection for the pardon of so
foul an offence. He could not hope that she would again place confidence
in vows of reformation which had been so grossly violated. When the
proper self-distrust of Laura refused him the opportunity of making a
personal appeal to her sensibilities, he hoped that her father might
successfully plead his cause; and that before his guilt was known to
her, he might have made it at once her interest and her duty to forget
it. But the storm was about to burst even more speedily than he
apprehended. Lady Bellamer little suspected that her conduct was watched
with all the malice of jealousy, and all the eagerness of interest. She
little suspected that her confidential servant was the spy of her
injured husband, bound to fidelity in this task by ties as disgraceful
as they were strong, and that this woman waited only for legal proof of
her mistress's guilt, to lay the particulars before her lord. That proof
was now obtained; and Lord Bellamer hastened to avail himself of it. He
arrived in London on the morning of the last day of Montreville's life;
and, charging his guilty wife with her perfidy, expelled her from his
house.
She flew to Hargrave's lodgings, and found him preparing for his daily
visit to Laura. Though provoked at being delayed, he was obliged to stay
and listen to her, while she hastily related the events of the morning.
She was about to speak of her conviction, that, by making her his wife,
he would shield her from the world's scorn, and that he would not, by
any legal defence, retard her emancipation. But Hargrave suffered her
not to proceed. He perceived that his adventure must now be public. It
must immediately find its way into the public prints; and in a few hours
it might be in the hands of Laura. He bitterly upbraided Lady Bellamer
with her want of caution in the concealment of their amour; cursed her
folly as the ruin of all his dearest hopes; and, in the frenzy of his
rage, scrupled not to reveal the cutting secret, that while another was
the true object of his affections, Lady Bellamer had sacrificed her all
to an inclination as transient as it was vile. The wretched creature,
terrified at his rage, weakened by her situation, overcome by the events
of the morning, and stung by a reception so opposite to her
expectations, sunk at his feet in violent hysterics. But Hargrave could
at that moment feel for no miseries but his own; and consigning her to
the care of the woman of the house, he was again about to hasten to
Montreville's, when he was told that a gentleman wished to speak with
him upon particular business.
This person was the bearer of a note from Lord Bellamer, importing that
he desired to meet Colonel Hargrave on that or the following day, at any
hour and place which the Colonel might appoint. After the injuries given
and received, their meeting, he said, could have but one object.
Hargrave, in no humour to delay, instantly replied that in three hours
he should be found in a solitary field, which he named, at a few miles
distant from town, and that he should bring with him a friend and a
brace of pistols. He then went in search of this friend, and finding him
at home, the business was speedily settled.
Nothing, in the slight consideration of death which Hargrave suffered to
enter his mind, gave him so much disturbance as the thought that he
might, if he fell, leave Laura to the possession of another. He
willingly persuaded himself that she had an attachment to him too
romantic to be transferable. But she was poor; she might in time make a
marriage of esteem and convenience; and Laura, the virtuous Laura, would
certainly love her husband, and the father of her children. The bare
idea stung like a scorpion, and Hargrave hastened to his man of
business, where he spent the time which yet remained before the hour of
his appointment, in dictating a bequest of five thousand pounds to Laura
Montreville; but true to his purpose, he added a clause, by which, in
case of her marriage, she forfeited the whole.
He then repaired to meet Lord Bellamer; and, the ground being taken,
Hargrave's first ball penetrated Lord Bellamer's left shoulder, who then
fired without effect, and instantly fell. Hargrave, whose humanity had
returned with his temper, accompanied his wounded antagonist to a
neighbouring cottage to which he was conveyed, anxiously procured for
him every possible comfort, and heard with real joy, that if he could be
kept from fever, his wound was not likely to be mortal. The gentleman
who had been Hargrave's second, offered to remain near Lord Bellamer, in
order to give warning to his friend should any danger occur; and it was
late in the evening before Hargrave, alone and comfortless, returned to
town.
Never had his own thoughts been such vexatious companions. To his own
scared conscience his crimes might have seemed trivial; but when he
placed them before him in the light in which he knew that they would be
viewed by Laura, their nature seemed changed. He knew that she would
find no plea in the custom of the times, for endangering the life of a
fellow-creature, and that her moral vocabulary contained no qualifying
epithet to palliate the foulness of adultery. The next day would give
publicity to his duel and its cause; and should the report reach Laura's
ear, what could he hope from her favour? The bribes of love and ambition
he had found too poor to purchase her sanction to the bare intention of
a crime. Even the intention seemed forgiven only in the hope of luring
him to the paths of virtue: and when she should know the failure of that
hope, would not her forgiveness be withdrawn?
But Laura, thus on the point of being lost, was more dear to him than
ever; and often did he wish that he had fallen by Lord Bellamer's hand,
rather than that he should live to see himself the object of her
indifference, perhaps aversion. Time still remained, however, by one
desperate effort to hurry or terrify her into immediate compliance with
his wishes; and, half-distracted with the emotions of remorse, and love,
and hope, and fear, he ordered his carriage to Montreville's house. Here
passed the scene which has been already described. Hargrave was too much
agitated to attend to the best methods of persuasion, and he quitted
Laura in the full conviction that she would never be his wife. He threw
himself into his carriage, and was driven home, now frantickly bewailing
his loss, now vowing, that rather than endure it, he would incur the
penalties of every law, divine and human. All night he paced his
apartment, uttering imprecations on his own folly, and forming plans for
regaining by fraud, force, or persuasion, his lost rights over Laura. At
last his vehemence having somewhat spent itself, he threw himself on a
couch, and sunk into feverish and interrupted sleep.
It was not till next morning, that he thought of inquiring after the
unfortunate partner of his iniquity; and was told that, too ill to be
removed, she had been carried to bed in the house, where she still
remained.
Intending to renew the attempt of the preceding night, he again repaired
to Laura's house; but his intention was frustrated by the death of
Montreville. On receiving the information, he was at first a good deal
shocked at the sudden departure of a man, whom, a few hours before, he
had left in no apparent danger. But that feeling was effaced when once
he began to consider the event as favourable to his designs upon Laura.
Left to solitude, to poverty, perhaps to actual want, what resource had
she so eligible as the acceptance of offers splendid and disinterested
like his. And he would urge her acceptance of them with all the ardour
of passion. He would alarm her with the prospects of desolateness and
dependence, he would appeal to the wishes of her dead father. Such
pleadings must, he thought, have weight with her; and again the hopes of
victory revived in his mind. Should the principle, to which she so
firmly adhered, outweigh all these considerations, he thought she would
forfeit by her obstinacy all claim to his forbearance, and his heart
fluttered at the idea that she had now no protector from his power. He
resolved to haunt, to watch her, to lose no opportunity of pressing his
suit. Wherever she went he was determined to follow; 'and surely,'
thought he, 'she must have some moments of weakness, she cannot be
always on her guard.'
For some days he continued to make regular visits at her lodgings,
though he had no hope of seeing her till after Montreville was consigned
to the dust; and he rejoiced that the customary seclusion was likely to
retard her knowledge of his misconduct. To make inquiries after the
health and spirits of Laura, was the ostensible, but not the only motive
of his visits. He wished to discover all that was known to the people of
the house of her present situation and future plans. On the latter
subject they could not afford him even the slightest information, for
Laura had never dropped a hint of her intentions. But he received such
accounts of her pecuniary distresses, and of the manner in which she
supported them, as at once increased his reverence for her character,
and his hopes that she would take refuge from her wants in the affluence
which he offered her.
From Fanny, who officiated as porter, and who almost adored Laura, he
received most of his intelligence; and while he listened to instances of
the fortitude, the piety, the tenderness, the resignation of his
beloved, a love of virtue, sincere though transient, would cross his
soul; he would look back with abhorrence on a crime which had hazarded
the loss of such a treasure; and vow, that, were he once possessed of
Laura, his life should be a copy of her worth. But Hargrave's vows
deceived him; for he loved the virtues only that were associated with an
object of pleasure, he abhorred the vices only which threatened him with
pain.
On the day succeeding the funeral, he ventured on an attempt to see
Laura, and sent her a message, begging permission to wait upon her; but
was answered that she received no visitors. He then wrote to her a
letter full of the sentiments which she inspired. He expressed his
sympathy with her misfortunes, and fervently besought her to accept of a
protector who would outdo in tenderness the one she had lost. He
implored her to add the strongest incentive to the course of virtue, in
which, if she would listen to his request, he solemnly promised to
persevere. He again insinuated that she must speedily decide; that, if
her decision were unfavourable, he might be driven to seek forgetfulness
amidst ruinous dissipation; and he adjured her, by the wishes of her
dead father, a claim which he thought would with her be irresistible, to
consent to dispense with his further probation. He said he would visit
her late in the following forenoon, in the hope of receiving his answer
from her own lips; and concluded by telling her that, lest the late
unfortunate event had occasioned her any temporary difficulties, he
begged to be considered as her banker, and enclosed a bill for a hundred
pounds.
He gave this letter to Fanny, with injunctions to deliver it
immediately, and then went to inquire for Lord Bellamer, whom it gave
him real pleasure to find pronounced out of danger. Lady Bellamer, too,
had ceased to reproach and molest him. She had recovered from her
indisposition, and removed to the house of a relation, who humanely
offered to receive her. His hopes were strong of the effect of his
letter; and he passed the evening in greater comfort than had lately
fallen to his share. Often did he repeat to himself that Laura must
accede to his proposals. What other course could she pursue--Would her
spirit allow her to become a burden on the scanty income of her friend
Mrs Douglas--Would she venture to pursue, as a profession, the art in
which she so greatly excelled--Would she return to live alone at
Glenalbert? This last appeared the most probable to Hargrave, because
the most desirable. Alone, without any companion whose frozen counsel
could counteract the softness of her heart, in a romantic solitude,
watched, as he would watch, importuned as he would importune her,
strange if no advantage could be wrested from her affection or her
prudence, her interest or her fears! To possess Laura was the first wish
of his soul; and he was not very fastidious as to the means of its
gratification; for even the love of a libertine is selfish. He was
perfectly sincere in his honourable proposals to Laura. He might have
been less so had any others possessed a chance of success.
He rose early the next morning, and impatiently looked for the hour
which he had appointed for his visit. He wished that he had fixed on an
earlier one, took up a book to beguile the minutes, threw it down again,
looked a hundred times at his watch, ordered his carriage to the door
two hours before it was wanted, feared to go too soon, lest Laura should
refuse to see him, and yet was at her lodgings, long before his
appointment. He inquired for her, and was answered that she had
discharged her lodgings, and was gone. 'Gone! Whither?'--Fanny did not
know; Miss Montreville had been busy all the evening before in preparing
for her removal, and had left the house early that morning. 'And did she
leave no address where she might be found?' 'I heard her tell the
coachman,' said Fanny, 'to stop at the end of Grosvenor-street, and she
would direct him where she chose to be set down. But I believe she has
left a letter for you, Sir.' 'Fool!' cried Hargrave, 'why did you not
tell me so sooner--give it me instantly.'
He impatiently followed the girl to the parlour which had been
Montreville's. The letter lay on the table. He snatched it, and hastily
tore it open. It contained only his bill, returned with Miss
Montreville's compliments and thanks. He twisted the card into atoms,
and cursed with all his soul the ingratitude and cold prudence of the
writer. He swore that if she were on earth, he would find her; and vowed
that he would make her repent of the vexation which he said she had
always taken a savage delight in heaping upon him.
Restless, and yet unwilling to be gone, he next wandered into Laura's
painting-room, as if hoping in her once-favourite haunt to find traces
of her flight. He had never entered it since the day when the discovery
of De Courcy's portrait had roused his sudden frenzy. Association
brought back the same train of thought. He imagined that Laura, while
she concealed herself from him, had taken refuge with the De Courcys;
and all his jealousy returned. After, according to custom, acting the
madman for a while, he began as usual to recover his senses. He knew he
could easily discover whether Miss Montreville was at Norwood, by
writing to a friend who lived in the neighbourhood; and he was going
home to execute this design, when, passing through the lobby, he was met
by the landlady. He stopped to renew his inquiries whether any thing was
known, or guessed, of Laura's retreat. But Mrs Stubbs could give him no
more information on that subject than her maid, and she was infinitely
more surprised at his question than Fanny had been; for having made
certain observations which convinced her that Hargrave's visits were in
the character of a lover, she had charitably concluded, and actually
asserted, that Laura had accepted of his protection.
Hargrave next inquired whether Laura had any visitors but himself? 'No
living creature,' was the reply. 'Could Mrs Stubbs conjecture whither
she was gone?' 'None in the world,' answered Mrs Stubbs; 'only this I
know, it can't be very far off--for to my certain knowledge, she had
only seven shillings in her pocket, and that could not carry her far, as
I told the gentleman who was here this morning.' 'What gentleman?' cried
Hargrave. 'One Mr De Courcy, Sir, that used to call for her; but he has
not been here these six weeks before; and he seemed quite astounded as
well as yourself, Sir.' Hargrave then questioned her so closely
concerning De Courcy's words and looks, as to convince himself that his
rival was entirely ignorant of the motions of the fugitive. In this
belief he returned home, uncertain what measures he should pursue, but
determined not to rest till he had found Laura.
When De Courcy quitted Laura, he had no intention of seeing her again
till circumstances should enable him to offer her his hand. No sacrifice
could have cost him more pain; but justice and filial duty did not
permit him to hesitate. Neither did he think himself entitled to sadden
with a face of care his domestic circle, nor to make his mother and
sister pay dear for their comforts, by shewing that they were purchased
at the expence of his peace. Nor did he languidly resign to idle
love-dreams the hours which an immortal spirit claimed for its
improvement, and which the social tie bound him to enliven and cheer.
But to appear what he was not, to introduce constraint and dissimulation
into the sacred privacies of home, never occurred to De Courcy. He
therefore strove not to seem cheerful but to be so. He returned to
his former studies, and even prosecuted them with alacrity, for he knew
that Laura respected a cultivated mind. His faults, he was if possible
more than ever studious to correct, for Laura loved virtue. And when
occasion for a kind considerate or self-denying action presented itself,
he eagerly seized it, saying in his heart, 'this is like Laura.'
Sometimes the fear that he might be forgotten, forced from him the
bitterest sigh that he had ever breathed; but he endeavoured to comfort
himself with the belief that she would soon be screened from the gaze of
admiration, and that her regard for him, though yet in its infancy,
would be sufficient to secure her from other impressions. Of the reality
of this regard he did not allow himself to doubt, or if he hesitated for
a moment, he called to mind the picture, Laura's concealment of it, her
confusion at his attempt to examine it, and he no longer doubted.
The arrival of the picture itself might have explained all that related
to it, had De Courcy chosen to have it so explained. But he turned his
eye from the unpleasing sight, and sheltered his hopes by a hundred
treasured instances of love which had scarcely any existence but in his
fancy.
His efforts to be cheerful were however less successful, after Laura, in
a few melancholy lines, informed Miss De Courcy that Montreville's
increased illness made their return to Scotland more uncertain than
ever. He imagined his dear Laura the solitary attendant of a sickbed; no
kind voice to comfort, no friendly face to cheer her; perhaps in
poverty, that poverty increased too by the artifice which he had used to
lessen it. He grew anxious, comfortless, and at length really miserable.
Every day the arrival of the letters was looked for with extreme
solicitude in hope of more cheering news; but every day brought
disappointment, for Laura wrote no more. His mother shared in his
anxiety, and increased it by expressing her own. She feared that Miss
Montreville was ill, and unable to write; and the image of Laura among
strangers, sick and in poverty, obliterated Montague's prudent
resolutions of trusting himself no more in the presence of his beloved.
He set out for London, and arrived at the door of Laura's lodgings about
an hour after she had quitted them.
Mrs Stubbs, of whom he made personal inquiries, was abundantly
communicative. She gave him, as far as it was known to her, a full
history of Laura's adventures since he had seen her; and, where she was
deficient in facts, supplied the blank by conjecture. With emotion
indescribable, he listened to a coarse account of Miss Montreville's
wants and labours. 'How could you suffer all this?' cried he,
indignantly, when he was able to speak. 'Times are hard, Sir,' returned
Mrs Stubbs, the jolly purple deepening in her cheeks. 'Besides, Miss
Montreville had always such an air with her, that I could not for my
very heart have asked her to take pot-luck with us.'
The colour faded from De Courcy's face as Mrs Stubbs proceeded to relate
the constant visits of Hargrave. 'I'll warrant,' said she, growing
familiar as she perceived that she excited interest, 'I'll warrant he
did not come here so often for nothing. People must have ears, and use
them too; and I heard him myself swearing to her one day, that he loved
her better than his life, or something to that purpose; and that, if she
would live with him, he would make her dreams pleasant, or some such
stuff as that; and now, as sure as can be, she has taken him at his
word, and gone to him.'
'Peace, woman!' cried De Courcy, in a tone which he had never used to
any of the sex, 'how dare you--?'
Mrs Stubbs, who had all that want of nerve which characterizes vulgar
arrogance, instantly shrunk into her shell. 'No offence, Sir,' said she.
'It's all mere guess-work with me; only she does not know a creature in
London, and she had nothing to carry her out of it; for she had just
seven shillings in her pocket. I gave her seventeen and sixpence of
change this morning, and she gave half-a-guinea of that to the
kitchen-maid. Now it stands to reason, she would not have been so ready
parting with her money if she had not known where more was to be had.'
De Courcy, shocked and disgusted, turned from her in displeasure; and
finding that nothing was to be learnt from her of the place of Laura's
retreat, betook himself to the print-shop, where he remembered that he
had first procured Miss Montreville's address. Mr Wilkins declared his
ignorance on the subject of Montague's inquiries; but, seeing the look
of disappointment with which De Courcy was leaving the shop,
good-naturedly said, 'I dare say, Sir, if you wish to find out where
Miss Montreville lives, I could let you know by asking Colonel Hargrave.
He comes here sometimes to look at the caricatures. And,' added Mr
Wilkins, winking significantly, 'I am mistaken if they are not very well
acquainted.'
De Courcy's heart rose to his mouth. 'Perhaps so,' said he, scarcely
conscious of what he said. 'There was a famous scene between them here
about three weeks ago,' proceeded the print-seller, anxious to justify
his own sagacity. 'I suppose they had not met for a while, and there
such a kissing and embracing'--''Tis false!' cried De Courcy, lightning
flashing from his eyes, 'Miss Montreville would have brooked such
indignities from no man on earth.' 'Nay,' said Wilkins, shrugging up his
shoulders, 'the shop-lads saw it as well as I--she fainted away in his
arms, and he carried her into the back-room there, and would not suffer
one of us to come near her; and Mr Finch there saw him down on his knees
to her.' 'Cease your vile slanders,' cried De Courcy, half-distracted
with grief and indignation, 'I abhor--I despise them. But at your peril
dare to breathe them into any other ear.' So saying, he darted from the
shop, and returned to his hotel, infinitely more wretched than ever he
had been.
The happy dream was dispelled that painted him the master of Laura's
affections. Another possessed her love; and how visible, how
indelicately glaring, must be the preference that was apparent to every
vulgar eye! But, bitter as was his disappointment, and cruel the pangs
of jealousy, they were ease compared to the torture with which he
admitted a thought derogatory to Laura's worth. A thousand times he
reproached himself for suffering the hints and conjectures of a lowbred
woman to affect his mind;--a thousand times assured himself, that no
poverty, no difficulties, would overpower the integrity of Laura. 'Yet
Hargrave is a libertine,' said he, 'and if she can love a libertine,
how have I been deceived in her! No! it cannot be!--She is all
truth--all purity. It is she that is deceived. He has imposed upon her
by a false show of virtue, and misery awaits her detection of his
deceit. She gone to him! I will never believe it. Libertine as he is, he
dared not but to think of it. Extremity of want--lingering famine would
not degrade her to this,'--and tears filled De Courcy's manly eyes at
the thought that Laura was indeed in want.
He had no direct means of supplying her necessities; but he hoped that
she might inquire at her former abode for any letters that might chance
to be left for her, and that she might thus receive any packet which he
addressed to her. 'She shall never be humbled,' said he with a heavy
sigh, 'by knowing that she owes this trifle to an indifferent, forgotten
stranger;' and inclosing fifty pounds in a blank cover, he put both into
an envelope to Mrs Stubbs, in which he informed her, that if she could
find no means of conveying the packet to Miss Montreville, the anonymous
writer would claim it again at some future time, on describing its
contents.
Before dispatching the letter, however, he resolved on making an attempt
to discover whether Hargrave was acquainted with Laura's retreat. He
shrunk from meeting his rival. His blood ran cold as he pictured to his
fancy the exulting voice, the triumphant glance which would announce the
master of Laura's fate. But any thing was preferable to his present
suspense; and the hope that he might yet be useful to Laura, formed an
incitement still more powerful. 'Let me but find her,' said he, 'and I
will yet wrest her from destruction. If she is deceived I will warn; if
she is oppressed, I will protect her.'
He imagined that he should probably find Hargrave at the house of his
uncle Lord Lincourt, and hastened thither to seek him; but found the
house occupied only by servants, who were ignorant of the Colonel's
address. De Courcy knew none of Hargrave's places of resort. The habits
and acquaintance of each lay in a different line. No means therefore of
discovering him occurred to Montague, except that of inquiring at the
house of Mrs Stubbs, where he thought it probable that the place of
Hargrave's residence might be known. Thither, then, he next bent his
course.
The door was opened to him by Fanny; who replied to his questions, that
none of the family knew where Colonel Hargrave lived, and lamented that
De Courcy had not come a little earlier, saying that the Colonel had
been gone not above a quarter of an hour. De Courcy was turning
disappointed away; when Fanny, stopping him, said with a courtesy and a
half-whisper, 'Sir, an't please you, my mistress was all wrong about
Miss Montreville, for the Colonel knows no more about her than I do.'
'Indeed!' said De Courcy, all attention. 'Yes indeed Sir--when I told
him she was away, he was quite amazed, and in such a passion! So then I
thought I would give him the letter.--' 'What letter?' cried De Courcy,
the glow of animation fading in his face. 'A letter that Miss
Montreville left for him, Sir, but when he got it he was ten times
angrier than before, and swore at her for not letting him know where she
was going. So I thought, Sir, I would make bold to tell you, Sir, as
Mistress had been speaking her mind, Sir; for it's a sad thing to have
one's character taken away; and Miss Montreville, I am sure, wouldn't do
hurt to nobody.'
'You are a good girl, a very good girl,' said De Courcy, giving her,
with a guinea, a very hearty squeeze of the hand. He made her repeat the
particulars of Hargrave's violent behaviour; and satisfied from them
that his rival had no share in Laura's disappearance, he returned to his
hotel, his heart lightened of half the heaviest load that ever it had
borne.
Still, however, enough remained to exclude for a time all quiet from his
breast. He could not doubt that Laura's affections were Hargrave's. She
had given proof of it palpable to the most common observer; and
resentment mingled with his grief while he thought, that to his fervent
respectful love, she preferred the undistinguishing passion of a
libertine. 'All women are alike,' said he, 'the slaves of mere outward
show:'--An observation for which the world was probably first indebted
to circumstances somewhat like De Courcy's.
Restless and uncomfortable, without any hope of finding Laura, he would
now have left London without an hour's delay. But, though he forgot his
own fatigues, he was not unmindful of those of the grey-haired domestic
who attended him. He therefore deferred his journey to the following
morning; and then set out on his return to Norwood, more depressed and
wretched than he had quitted it.
CHAPTER XIX
All was yet dark and still, when Laura, like some unearthly being, stood
by the bed where Fanny slept. The light which she bore in her wasted
hand, shewed faintly the majestic form, darkened by its mourning
garments; and shed a dreary gleam upon tearless eyes, and a face whence
all the hues of life were fled. She made a sign for Fanny to rise; and,
awe-struck by the calm of unutterable grief, Fanny arose, and in silence
followed her. They entered the chamber of death. With noiseless steps
Laura approached the body, and softly drew back the covering. She
beckoned Fanny towards her. The girl comprehended that her aid was
wanted in performing the last duties to Montreville; and, shrinking with
superstitious fear, said, in a low tremulous whisper, 'I dare not touch
the dead.' Laura answered not; but raising her eyes to Heaven, as if
there to seek assistance in her mournful task, she gently pressed her
hand upon the half-closed eyes that had so often beamed fondness on her.
Unaided, and in silence, she did the last offices of love. She shed no
tears. She uttered no lamentation. The dread stillness was broken only
by the groans that burst at times from her heavy heart, and the more
continued sobs of her attendant, who vented in tears her fear, her pity,
and her admiration.
When the sad task was finished, Laura, still speechless, motioned to the
servant to retire. In horror at the thoughts of leaving Laura alone with
the dead, yet fearing to raise her voice, the girl respectfully grasped
her mistress's gown, and, in a low but earnest whisper, besought her to
leave this dismal place, and to go to her own chamber. Scarcely sensible
of her meaning, Laura suffered her to draw her away; but when the door
closed upon all that remained of her father, she shuddered convulsively,
and struggled to return. Fanny, however, gathered courage to lead her
to her own apartment. There she threw herself prostrate on the ground; a
flood of tears came to relieve her oppressed heart, and her recovered
utterance broke forth in an act of resignation. She continued for some
hours to give vent to her sorrow--a sorrow unallayed by any less painful
feeling, save those of devotion. She had lost the affectionate guide of
her youth, the fond parent, whose love for her had brought him untimely
to the grave; and, in the anguish of the thought that she should watch
his smile and hear his voice no more, she scarcely remembered that he
had left her to want and loneliness.
The morning was far advanced, when her sorrows were broken in upon by
her landlady, who came to ask her directions in regard to the funeral.
Laura had been unable to bend her thoughts to the consideration of this
subject; and she answered only by her tears. In vain did Mrs Stubbs
repeat that 'it was folly to take on so,'--'that we must all die;' 'and
that as every thing has two handles, Laura might comfort herself that
she should now have but one mouth to feed.' Laura seemed obstinate in
her grief, and at last Mrs Stubbs declared that whether she would hear
reason or not, something must without delay be settled about the
funeral; as for her part she could not order things without knowing how
they were to be paid for. Laura, putting her hand to her forehead,
complained that her head felt confused, and, mildly begging her
persecutor to have a little patience with her, promised, if she might be
left alone for the present, to return to the conversation in half an
hour.
Accordingly, soon after the time appointed, the landlady was surprised
to see Laura enter the parlour, her cheek indeed colourless and her eyes
swelled with weeping, but her manner perfectly calm and collected. 'Here
are my father's watch and seals,' said she, presenting them. 'They may
be disposed of. That cannot wound him now,'--and she turned away her
head, and drew her hand across her eyes. 'Have the goodness to order
what is necessary, for I am a stranger, without any friend.' Mrs Stubbs,
examining the watch, declared her opinion that the sale of it would
produce very little. 'Let every thing be plain, but decent,' said Laura,
'and when I am able I will work day and night till all is paid.' 'I
doubt, Miss,' answered Mrs Stubbs, 'it will be long before your work
will pay for much; besides you will be in my debt for a week's
lodgings--we always charge a week extra when there is a death in the
house.' 'Tell me what you would have me to do, and I will do it,' said
the unfortunate Laura, wholly unable to contend with her hard-hearted
companion. 'Why, Miss,' said Mrs Stubbs, 'there is your beautiful
rose-wood work-table and the foot-stools, and your fine ivory work-box
that Mr De Courcy sent here before you came; if you choose to dispose of
them, I will take them off your hands.' 'Take them,' said Laura, 'I knew
not that they were mine.' Mrs Stubbs then conscientiously offered to
give a fourth part of the sum which these toys had cost De Courcy three
months before, an offer which Laura instantly accepted; and the landlady
having settled this business much to her own satisfaction, cheerfully
undertook to arrange the obsequies of poor Montreville.
Though the tragical scenes of the night had left Laura no leisure to
dwell upon her fears for Hargrave, it was not without thankfulness that
she heard of his safety and restored composure. Her mind was at first
too much occupied by her recent loss, to attempt accounting for his
extravagant behaviour; and, after the first paroxysms of her sorrow were
past, she retained but an imperfect recollection of his late
conversation with her. She merely remembered his seeming distraction and
threatened suicide; and only bewildered herself by her endeavours to
unravel his mysterious conduct. Sometimes a suspicion not very remote
from truth would dart into her mind; but she quickly banished it, as an
instance of the causeless fears that are apt to infest the hearts of the
unfortunate.
An innate delicacy which, in some degree, supplied to Laura the want of
experience, made her feel an impropriety in the daily visits which she
was informed that Hargrave made at her lodgings. She was aware that they
might be liable to misrepresentation, even though she should persist in
her refusal to see him; and this consideration appeared to add to the
necessity already so urgent, for resolving on some immediate plan for
her future course of life. But the future offered to Laura no attractive
prospect. Wherever she turned, all seemed dark and unpromising. She
feared not to labour for her subsistence; no narrow pride forbade her
use of any honourable means of independence. But her personal charms
were such as no degree of humility could screen from the knowledge of
their possessor, and she was sensible how much this dangerous
distinction increased the disqualifications of her sex and age for the
character of an artist. As an artist, she must be exposed to the
intrusion of strangers, to public observation if successful; to unpitied
neglect if she failed in her attempt. Besides, it was impossible to
think of living alone and unprotected, in the human chaos that
surrounded her. All her father's dismal forebodings rose to her
remembrance; and she almost regarded herself as one who would be noticed
only as a mark for destruction, beguiled by frauds which no vigilance
could detect, overwhelmed by power which she could neither resist nor
escape.
Should she seek in solitude a refuge from the destroyer, and return to
mourn at her deserted Glenalbert, the stroke that had left it like her
lonely and forlorn, want lurked amidst its shades; for with her father
had died not only the duties and the joys of life, but even the means of
its support. Her temporary right to the few acres which Montreville
farmed, was in less than a year to expire; and she knew that, after
discharging the claim of the landlord, together with some debts which
the long illness of Lady Harriet and the ill-fated journey had obliged
Montreville to contract, little would remain from the sale of her
effects at Glenalbert.
Laura was sure, that the benevolent friend of her youth, the excellent
Mrs Douglas, would receive her with open arms--guide her inexperience
with a mother's counsel--comfort her sorrows with a mother's love. But
her spirit revolted from a life of indolent dependence, and her sense of
justice from casting a useless burden upon an income too confined to
answer claims stronger and more natural than hers. Mrs Douglas was
herself the preceptress of her children, and both by nature and
education amply qualified for the momentous task. In domestic
management, her skill and activity were unrivalled. Laura, therefore,
saw no possibility of repaying, by her usefulness in any department of
the family, the protection which she might receive; and she determined
that nothing but the last necessity should induce her to tax the
generosity of her friend, or to forego the honourable independence of
those who, though 'silver or gold they have none,' can barter for the
comforts they enjoy their mental treasures or their bodily toil.
To undertake the tuition of youth occurred to her as the most eligible
means of procuring necessary subsistence, and protection, more necessary
still. It appeared to her that, as a member of any reputable family, she
should be sheltered from the dangers which her father had most taught
her to dread. She reviewed her accomplishments, and impartially examined
her ability to communicate them with temper and perseverance. Though for
the most part attained with great accuracy, they were few in number, and
unobtrusive in kind. She read aloud with uncommon harmony and grace. She
spoke and wrote with fluency and precision. She was grammatically
acquainted with the French and Latin languages, and an adept in the
common rules of arithmetic. Her proficiency in painting has been already
noticed; and she sang with inimitable sweetness and expression.
But though expert in every description of plain needle-work, she was an
utter novice in the manufacture of all those elegant nothings, which are
so serviceable to fine ladies in their warfare against time. Though she
moved with unstudied dignity and peerless grace, we are obliged to
confess, that the seclusion of her native village had doomed her to
ignorance of the art of dancing, that she had never entered a ball-room
less capacious than the horizon, nor performed with a partner more
illustrious than the schoolmaster's daughter. Her knowledge of music,
too, was extremely limited. Lady Harriet had indeed tried to teach her
to play on the piano-forte; but the attempt, after costing Laura many a
full heart, and many a watery eye, was relinquished as vain. Though the
child learnt with unusual facility whatever was taught her by her father
or Mrs Douglas, and though she was already remarkable for the sweetness
with which she warbled her woodnotes wild, she no sooner approached the
piano-forte, than an invincible stupidity seemed to seize on all her
faculties. This was the more mortifying, as it was the only one of her
ladyship's accomplishments which she ever personally attempted to
communicate to her daughter. Lady Harriet was astonished at her failure.
It could proceed, she thought, from nothing but obstinacy. But the
appropriate remedy for obstinacy, only aggravated the symptoms, and,
after all, Laura was indebted to Colonel Hargrave's tuition for so much
skill as enabled her to accompany her own singing.
Laura had more than once felt her deficiency in these fashionable arts,
on seeing them exhibited by young ladies, who, to use their own
expression, had returned from finishing themselves at a
boarding-school, and she feared that this blank in her education might
prove a fatal bar to her being employed as a governess. But another and
a greater obstacle lay before her--she was utterly unknown. The only
patrons whose recommendation she could command, were distant and
obscure; and what mother would trust the minds and the manners of her
children to the formation of a stranger? She knew not the ostrich-like
daring of fashionable mothers. This latter objection seemed equally
hostile to her being received in quality of companion by those who might
be inclined to exchange subsistence and protection for relief from
solitude; and Laura, almost despairing, knew not whither to turn her
eye.
One path indeed invited her steps, a path bright with visions of
rapture, warm with the sunshine of love and pleasure; but the flaming
sword of Heaven guarded the entrance; and as often as her thoughts
reverted that way, the struggle was renewed which forces the choice from
the pleasing to the right. No frequency of return rendered this struggle
less painful. Laura's prudence had slept, when a little vigilance might
have saved her many an after pang; and she had long paid, was still long
to pay, the forfeit of neglecting that wisdom which would guard 'with
all diligence' the first beginnings of even the most innocent passions.
Had she curbed the infant-strength of an attachment which, though it
failed to warp her integrity, had so deeply wounded her peace, how had
she lessened the force of that temptation, which lured her from the
rugged ascent, where want and difficulty were to be her companions;
which enticed her to the flowery bowers of pleasure with the voice and
with the smile of Hargrave!
Yet Laura had resisted a bribe more powerful than any consideration
merely selfish could supply; and she blushed to harbour a thought of
yielding to her own inclinations what she had refused to a parent's
wants, to a parent's prayer. Her heart filled as she called to mind how
warmly Montreville had seconded the wishes of her lover, how resolutely
she had withstood his will; and it swelled even to bursting at the
thought that the vow was now fatally made void, which promised, by every
endearment of filial love, to atone for this first act of disobedience.
'Dearest, kindest of friends,' she cried, 'I was inflexible to thy
request--thy last request! and shall I now recede? now, when, perhaps,
thou art permitted to behold and to approve my motive; perhaps permitted
to watch me still--permitted with higher power to guard, with less
erring wisdom to direct me! And, Thou, who, in matchless condescension,
refusest not to be called Father of the fatherless--Thou, who, in every
difficulty canst guide, from every danger canst protect thy children,
let, if Thou see it good, the Heavens, which are thy throne, be all my
covering, the earth, which is thy footstool, be all my bed; but suffer
me not to wander from Thee, the only source of peace and joy, to seek
them in fountains unhallowed and forbidden.'
Religious habits and sentiments were permanent inmates of Laura's
breast. They had been invited and cherished, till, like familiar
friends, they came unsolicited; and, like friends, too, their visits
were most frequent in adversity. But the more ardent emotions of piety,
are, alas! transient guests with us all; and, sinking from the flight
which raised her for a time above the sorrows and the wants of earth,
Laura was again forced to shrink from the gaunt aspect of poverty, again
to turn a wistful eye towards a haven of rest on this side the grave.
Young as she was, however, she had long been a vigilant observer of her
own actions, and of their consequences; and the result was an immutable
conviction, that no heartfelt comfort could, in any circumstances,
harbour with wilful transgression. As wilful transgression, she
considered her marriage with a man whose principles she had fatal reason
to distrust. As a rash defiance of unknown danger; as a desperate daring
of temptations whose force was yet untried, as a desertion of those arms
by which alone she could hope for victory in her Christian combat, Laura
considered the hazardous enterprize which, trusting to the reformation
of a libertine, would expose her to his example and his authority, his
provocations and his associates. Again she solemnly renewed her
resolution never, by wilfully braving temptation, to forego the
protection of Him who can dash the fulness of worldly prosperity with
secret bitterness, or gladden with joys unspeakable the dwelling visited
by no friend but Him, cheered by no comfort save the light of his
countenance.
Hargrave's letter served rather to fortify the resolution which it was
intended to shake; for Laura was not insensible to the indelicacy which
did not scorn to owe to her necessities a consent which he had in vain
tried to extort from her affection. Though pleased with his liberality,
she was hurt by his supposing that she could have so far forgotten the
mortal offence which he had offered her, as to become his debtor for any
pecuniary favour; and, as nothing could be further from her intention
than to owe any obligation to Colonel Hargrave, she did not hesitate a
moment to return the money. When she had sealed the card in which she
inclosed it, she again returned to the contemplation of her dreary
prospects; and half hopelessly examined the possibilities of
subsistence. To offer instruction to the young, or amusement to the old,
in exchange for an asylum from want and danger, still appeared to her
the most eligible plan of life; and again she weighed the difficulty of
procuring the necessary recommendations.
Lady Pelham occurred to her. Some claim she thought she might have had
to the patronage of so near a relation. But who should identify her? who
should satisfy Lady Pelham that the claim of relationship did indeed
belong to Laura? Had she been previously known to her aunt, her
difficulties would have been at an end; now she would probably be
rejected as an impostor; and she gave a sigh to the want of foresight
which had suffered her to rejoice in escaping an interview with Lady
Pelham.
After much consideration, she determined to solicit the recommendations
of Mrs Douglas and the De Courcy family; and, until she could avail
herself of these, to subsist, in some obscure lodging, by the labour of
her hands. In the meantime, it was necessary to remove immediately from
her present abode. The day following was the last when she could claim
any right to remain there; and she proceeded to make preparations for
her departure.
With a bleeding heart she began to arrange whatever had belonged to
Montreville; and paused, with floods of tears, upon every relic now
become so sacred. She entered his closet. His was the last foot that had
pressed the threshold. His chair stood as he had risen from it. On the
ground lay the cushion yet impressed with his knees--his Bible was open
as he had left it. One passage was blistered with his tears; and there
Laura read with emotions unutterable--'Leave to me thy fatherless
children, and I will preserve them alive.' Her recent wounds thus torn
open, with agony which could not be restrained, she threw herself upon
the ground; and, with cries of anguish, besought her father to return
but for one short hour to comfort his desolate child. 'Oh I shall never,
never see him more,' said she,--'all my cries are vain,'--and she wept
the more because they were in vain. Soon, however, she reproached
herself with her immoderate sorrow, soon mingled its accents with those
of humble resignation; and the vigorous mind recovering in devotion all
its virtuous energy, she returned, with restored composure, to her
melancholy labours.
In her father's writing desk she found an unfinished letter. It began
'My dear De Courcy,'--and Laura was going to read it with the awe of one
who listens to the last words of a father, when she remembered having
surprised her father while writing it, and his having hastily concealed
it from her sight. She instantly folded it without further acquaintance
with its contents, except that her own name caught her eye. Continuing
to arrange the papers, she observed a letter addressed to herself in a
hand which she did not remember to have seen. It was Lady Pelham's
answer to that in which Laura had announced her mother's death. She
perceived that it might furnish an introduction to her aunt; and with a
sensation of gratitude she remembered that she had been accidentally
prevented from destroying it.
Lady Pelham was elder by several years than her sister Lady Harriet. Her
father, a saving painstaking attorney, died a few months after she was
born. His widow, who, from an idea of their necessity, had concurred in
all his economical plans, discovered with equal surprise and delight,
that his death had left her the entire management of five-and-forty
thousand pounds. This fortune, which she was to enjoy during her life,
was secured, in the event of her demise, to little Miss Bridget; and
this arrangement was one of the earliest pieces of information which
little Miss Bridget received. For seven years the little heiress was, in
her mother's undisguised opinion, and consequently in her own, the most
important personage upon the face of this terrestrial globe. But worldly
glories are fleeting. Lord Winterfield's taste in stewed carp had been
improved by half a century's assiduous cultivation. Now the widow Price
understood the stewing of carp better than any woman in England, so his
Lordship secured to himself the benefit of her talent by making her Lady
Winterfield. In ten months after her marriage, another young lady
appeared, as much more important than Miss Bridget, as an earl is than
an attorney. Fortune, however, dispensed her gifts with tolerable
equality. Beauty and rank, indeed, were all on the side of Lady Harriet,
but the wealth lay in the scale of Miss Price; for Lord Winterfield,
leaving the bulk of his property to the children of his first marriage,
bequeathed to his youngest daughter only five thousand pounds. These
circumstances procured to Miss Price another advantage, for she married
a baronet with a considerable estate, while Lady Harriet's fate stooped
to a lieutenant in a marching regiment. After ten years, which Lady
Pelham declared were spent in uninterrupted harmony, Sir Edward Pelham
died. The exclusive property of his wife's patrimony had been strictly
secured to her; and, either thinking such a provision sufficient for a
female, or moved by a reason which we shall not at present disclose, Sir
Edward bestowed on the nephew who inherited his title, his whole estate,
burthened only with a jointure of five hundred pounds a-year, settled
upon Lady Pelham by her marriage-contract. Of his daughter, and only
child, no mention was made in his testament; but Sir Edward, during the
last years of his life, had acquired the character of an oddity, and
nobody wondered at his eccentricities. At the commencement of her
widowhood, Lady Pelham purchased a villa in ----shire, where she spent
the summer, returning in the winter to Grosvenor Street; and this last
was almost the only part of her history which was known to Laura. Even
before Lady Harriet's marriage, little cordiality had existed between
the sisters. From the date of that event, their intercourse had been
almost entirely broken off; and the only attention which Laura had ever
received from her aunt, was contained in the letter which she was now
thankfully contemplating. Her possession of this letter, together with
her acquaintance with the facts to which it related, she imagined would
form sufficient proof of her identity; and her national ideas of the
claims of relationship, awakened a hope of obtaining her aunt's
assistance in procuring some respectable situation.
Determined to avail herself of her fortunate discovery, she quitted her
father's apartments; and, carrying with her her credential, lost no time
in repairing to Grosvenor Street. Nor did she experience the reluctance
which she had formerly felt towards an interview with Lady Pelham; for
she was fully sensible of the difference between a petitioner for
charity and a candidate for honourable employment. Besides, there is no
teacher of humility like misfortune; and Laura's spirits were too
completely subdued to anticipate or to notice diminutive attacks upon
her self-consequence. She still, however, with constitutional reserve,
shrunk from intruding upon a stranger; and she passed and repassed the
door, examining the exterior of the house, as if she could thence have
inferred the character of its owner, before she took courage to give one
gentle knock.
A footman opened the door, and Laura, faltering, inquired if Lady Pelham
was within. From Laura's single knock, her humble voice, and her yet
more humble habit, which, in ten month's use, had somewhat faded from
the sober magnificence of black, the man had formed no very lofty idea
of the visitor's rank. He answered, that he believed his lady was not at
home; but half-afraid of dismissing some person with whom she might have
business, he spoke in a tone which made Laura a little doubt the truth
of his information. She inquired at what time she might be likely to
gain access to Lady Pelham; and, as she spoke, threw back her cape veil,
unconscious how successfully she was pleading her own cause. Struck with
a countenance whose candour, sweetness, and beauty, won a way to every
heart, the man gazed at her for a moment with vulgar admiration, and
then throwing open the door of a little parlour, begged her to walk in,
while he inquired whether his lady were visible. He soon returned,
telling Laura that Lady Pelham would receive her in a few minutes.
During these few minutes, Laura had formed a hundred conjectures
concerning her aunt's person, voice, and manner. She wondered whether
she resembled Lady Harriet; whether her own form would recal to Lady
Pelham the remembrance of her sister. At every noise her heart
fluttered--at every step she expected the entrance of this relation, on
whom perhaps so much of her future fate might depend; and she held her
breath that she might distinguish her approach. A servant at last came
to conduct her to his mistress; and she followed him, not without a
feeling of awe, into the presence of her mother's sister.
That sentiment, however, by no means gathered strength when she took
courage to raise her eyes to the plain little elderly person to whom she
was introduced, and heard herself addressed in the accents of cheerful
familiarity. Laura, with modest dignity, made known her name and
situation. She spoke of her mother's death, and the tears trickled from
her eyes--of her father's, and in venting the natural eloquence of
grief, she forgot that she came to interest a stranger. Lady Pelham
seemed affected; she held her handkerchief to her eyes, and remained in
that attitude for some time after Laura had recovered self-possession.
Then, throwing her arms round her lovely niece, she affectionately
acknowledged the relationship, adding, 'Your resemblance to my poor
sister cannot be overlooked, and yet in saying so, I am far from paying
you a compliment.'
After shewing Lady Pelham her own letter, and mentioning such
circumstances as tended to confirm her identity, Laura proceeded to
detail her plans, to which her Ladyship listened with apparent interest.
She inquired into Laura's accomplishments, and seemed pondering the
probability of employing them with advantage to the possessor. After a
few moments silence, she said, 'That short as their acquaintance had
been, she thought she could perceive that Laura had too much sensibility
for a dependent situation. But we shall talk of that hereafter,'
continued she. 'At present, your spirits are too weak for the society of
strangers;--and mine,' added her Ladyship, with a sigh, 'are not much
more buoyant than your own.' Laura looked up with the kindly interest
which, whether she herself were joyful or in sadness, sorrow could
always command with her; and her aunt answered her glance of inquiry, by
relating, that her only daughter and heiress, had eloped from her a few
days before, with an artful young fellow without family or fortune. 'She
deceived me by a train of the basest artifices,' said Lady Pelham,
'though she might have known that her happiness was my chief concern;
and that, to secure it, I might have been brought to consent to any
thing. Yet with the closest secrecy she misled--with the most unfeeling
coldness left me. Her disobedience I might have forgiven--her deceit I
never can; or, if as a Christian I forgive, I never, never can forget
it.'
Lady Pelham had talked herself out of breath; and Laura, not quite
understanding this kind of Christian forgiveness, was silent, because
she did not well know what to say. She felt, however, compassion for a
parent, deserted by her only child, and the feeling was legible in a
countenance peculiarly fitted for every tender expression.
There are some degrees of sorrow which increase in acuteness, at least
which augment in vehemence of expression, by the perception of having
excited sympathy. Weak fires gather strength from radiation. After a
glance at Laura, Lady Pelham melted into tears, and continued, 'I know
not how I had deserved such treatment from her; for never had she reason
to complain of me. I have always treated her with what I must call
unmerited kindness.'
Laura now ventured a few conciliating words. 'She will feel her error,
Madam,--she will strive by her after-life to atone--' Lady Pelham
immediately dried her eyes, 'No, no, my dear,' interrupted she, 'you
don't know her--you have no idea of the hardness of her unfeeling heart.
Rejoice, sweet girl, that you have no idea of it. For my part, though
sensibility is at best but a painful blessing, I would not exchange it
for the most peaceful apathy that can feel for nothing but itself. I
must have something to love and cherish. You shall be that something.
You shall live with me, and we shall console each other.'
On another occasion, Laura might have been disposed to canvass the
nature of that sensibility which could thus enlarge to a stranger on the
defects of an only child. Indeed she was little conversant even with the
name of this quality. Her own sensibility she had been taught to
consider as a weakness to be subdued, not as an ornament to be gloried
in; and the expansion of soul which opens to all the sorrows and to all
the joys of others, she had learnt to call by a holier name--to regulate
by a nobler principle. But she was little disposed to examine the merits
of a feeling to which she owed the offer of an unsolicited asylum. Her
heart swelling with gratitude, she clasped Lady Pelham's hand between
her own, and while tears streamed down her face, 'Kind considerate
friend,' she cried, 'why, why were you not known to us while my father
could have been sensible to your kindness!'
After Lady Pelham had repeated her proposal in more detail, and Laura
had thankfully acceded to it, they remained in conversation for some
time longer. Lady Pelham shewed that she had much wit, much vivacity,
and some information; and, after settling that Laura should next day
become an inmate in Grosvenor Street, they separated, mutually delighted
with each other. Lady Pelham applauded herself for a generous action,
and, to the interest which Laura awakened in every breast, was added in
Lady Pelham's all the benevolence of self-complacency. Laura, on the
other hand, did not dream that any fault could harbour in the
unsuspicious liberal heart which had believed the tale, and removed the
difficulties of a stranger. She did not once dream that she owed her new
asylum to any motives less noble than disinterested goodness.
No wonder that her Ladyship's motive escaped the penetration of Laura,
when it even evaded her own. And yet no principle could be more simple
in its nature, or more constant in its operation, than that which
influenced Lady Pelham; but the Proteus put on so many various forms,
that he ever evaded detection from the subject of his sway. In the
meantime, the desire of performing a generous action--of securing the
gratitude of a feeling heart--of patronizing a poor relation, were the
only motives which her Ladyship acknowledged to herself, when she
offered protection to Laura. An idea had, indeed, darted across her
right honourable mind, that she might now secure a humble companion at a
rate lower than the usual price of such conveniences: a momentary
notion, too, she formed of exciting the jealousy of her daughter, by
replacing her with so formidable a competitor for favour; but these, she
thought, were mere collateral advantages, and by no means the
circumstances which fixed her determination. The resolution upon which
she acted, was taken, as her resolutions generally were, without
caution; and she expressed it, as her custom was, the moment it was
formed. Laura was scarcely gone, however, when her aunt began to repent
of her precipitancy, and to wish, as she had often occasion to do, that
she had taken a little more time for consideration. But she comforted
herself, that she could at any time get rid of her charge, by
recommending Laura to one of the situations which she had mentioned as
her choice; and the lady knew it would not be difficult to find one more
lucrative than that upon which her niece was entering; for how could she
possibly offer wages to so near a relation, or insult with the gift of
a trifling sum a person of Laura's dignity of deportment? These reasons,
Lady Pelham alleged to herself, as sufficient grounds for a resolution
never to affront her niece by a tender of pecuniary favours.
While these thoughts were revolving in Lady Pelham's mind, Laura had
reached her home; and, on her knees, was thanking Providence for having
raised up for her a protector and a friend, and praying that she might
be enabled to repay, in affectionate and respectful duty, a part of the
debt of gratitude which she owed to her benefactress. The rest of the
evening she spent in preparing for her removal--in ruminating on her
interview with her aunt, and in endeavouring to compose, from the scanty
materials which she possessed, a character of this new arbitress of her
destiny. From Lady Pelham's prompt decision in favour of a stranger,
from her unreserved expression of her feelings, from her lively manner
and animated countenance, Laura concluded that she was probably of a
warm temper, susceptible, and easily wounded by unkindness or neglect,
but frank, candid, and forgiving. Laura wished that she had better
studied her aunt's physiognomy. What she recollected of it was quite
unintelligible to her. She laboured in vain to reconcile the feminine
curvatures of the nose and forehead with the inflexible closing of the
mouth, and the hard outline of the chin, where lurked no soft relenting
line.
But however the countenance might puzzle conjecture, of the mind she
harboured not a doubt; Lady Pelham's, she was persuaded, was one of
those open generous souls, which the young and unwary are always
prepared to expect and to love--souls having no disguise, and needing
none. Now this was precisely the character which Lady Pelham often and
sincerely drew of herself: and who ought to have been so intimately
acquainted with her Ladyship's dispositions?
CHAPTER XX
It was not without hesitation that Laura formed her resolution to
conceal from Hargrave her place of abode. She felt for the uneasiness
which this concealment would cause him. She feared that her desertion
might remove one incitement to a virtuous course. But she considered,
that while their future connection was doubtful, it was imprudent to
strengthen by habitual intercourse their need of each other's society;
and she reflected, that she could best estimate his character from
actions performed beyond the sphere of her influence. Her watchful
self-distrust made her fear to expose her resolution to his
importunities; and she felt the impropriety of introducing into her
aunt's family, a person who stood on terms with her which she did not
choose to explain. These reasons induced her to withhold from Hargrave
the knowledge of her new situation; and, certain that if it were known
to Mrs Stubbs or her servants he would soon be master of the secret, she
left no clue by which to trace her retreat. Perhaps, though she did not
confess it to herself, she was assisted in this act of self-command by a
latent hope, that as she was now to be introduced to a society on his
own level, Hargrave might not find the mystery quite inscrutable.
She was kindly welcomed by Lady Pelham, and took possession of a small
but commodious apartment, where she arranged her drawing-materials,
together with the few books she possessed, intending to make that her
retreat as often as her aunt found amusement or occupation independent
of her. She resolved to devote her chief attention to making herself
useful and entertaining to her patroness. In the first, she derived
hopes of success, from Lady Pelham's declared incapacity for all
employments that are strictly feminine. The second, she thought, would
be at once easy and pleasant, for Lady Pelham was acute, lively, and
communicative. This latter quality she possessed in an unusual degree,
and yet Laura found it difficult to unravel her character. In general,
she saw that her aunt's understanding was bright; she was persuaded that
in general her heart was warm and generous; but the descent to
particulars baffled Laura's penetration. Lady Pelham could amuse--could
delight; she said many wise, and many brilliant things; but her wisdom
was not always well-timed, and her brilliant things were soap-bubbles in
the sun, sparkling and highly coloured, but vanishing at the touch of
him who would examine their structure. Lady Pelham could dispute with
singular acuteness. By the use of ambiguous terms, by ingenious
sophistry, by dexterously shifting from the ground of controversy, she
could baffle, and perplex, and confound her opponents: but she could not
argue; she never convinced. Her opinions seemed fluctuating, and Laura
was sometimes ready to imagine that she defended them, not because they
were just, nor even because they were her own, but merely because she
had called them so; for with a new antagonist she could change sides,
and maintain the opposite ground with equal address.
In spite of all the warmth of heart for which she gave her heart credit,
Laura soon began to imagine that Lady Pelham had no friends. Among all
the acquaintances whom she attracted and amused, no one seemed to
exchange regard with her. The gaiety of pleasure never softened in her
presence into the tenderness of affection. Laura could not discover that
there existed one being from whose failings Lady Pelham respectfully
averted her own sight, while reverently veiling them from the eyes of
others. A few, a very few, seemed to be the objects of Lady Pelham's
esteem; those of her love Laura could not discover. Towards her,
however, her aunt expressed a strong affection; and Laura continued to
persuade herself, that if Lady Pelham had no friends, it was because she
was surrounded by those who were not worthy of her friendship.
As she appeared to invite and to desire unreserved confidence, Laura had
soon made her acquainted with the narrative of her short life, excepting
in so far as it related to Hargrave. At the detail of the unworthy
advantage which Warren had taken of Montreville's inability to enforce
his claim for the annuity, Lady Pelham broke out into sincere and
vehement expressions of indignation and contempt; for no one more
cordially abhorred oppression, or despised meanness in others. She
immediately gave directions to her man of business to attempt bringing
the affair to a conclusion, and even to threaten Warren with a
prosecution in case of his refusal. Virtuous resistance of injustice was
motive sufficient for this action. Pity that Lady Pelham should have
sought another in the economy and ease with which it promised to provide
for an indigent relative! Mr Warren was no sooner informed that the poor
obscure unfriended Laura was the niece of Lady Pelham, and the inmate of
her house, than he contrived to arrive at a marvellous certainty that
the price of the annuity had been paid, and that the mistake in the
papers relating to it originated in mere accident. In less than a
fortnight the informality was rectified, and the arrears of the annuity
paid into Laura's hands; the lawyer having first, at Lady Pelham's
desire, deducted the price of his services.
With tears in her eyes, Laura surveyed her wealth, now of diminished
value in her estimation. 'Only a few weeks ago,' said she, 'how precious
had this been to me.--But now!--Yet it is precious still,' said she, as
she wiped the tears away, 'for it can minister occasions of obedience
and usefulness.' That very day she dispatched little presents for each
of Mrs Douglas's children, in which use was more considered than show;
and in the letter which announced her gifts, she inclosed half the
remaining sum to be distributed among her own poor at Glenalbert. That
her appearance might not discredit her hostess, she next proceeded to
renew her wardrobe; and though she carefully avoided unnecessary
expence, she consulted not only decency but elegance in her attire. In
this, and all other matters of mere indifference, Laura was chiefly
guided by her aunt; for she had early observed that this lady, upon all
occasions, small as well as great, loved to exercise the office of
dictatrix. No person could have been better fitted than Laura to
conciliate such a temper; for on all the lesser occasions of submissions
she was as gentle and complying as she was inflexible upon points of
real importance. In their conversations, too, though Laura defended her
own opinions with great firmness, she so carefully avoided direct
contradiction or sarcastic retort, impatience in defeat, or triumph in
victory, that even Lady Pelham could scarcely find subject of irritation
in so mild an antagonist. In some respects, their tempers seemed to
tally admirably. Lady Pelham had great aptitude in detecting errors,
Laura a genius for remedying them. Difficulty always roused her
Ladyship's impatience, but she found an infallible resource in the
perseverance of Laura. In short, Laura contrived so many opportunities,
or seized with such happy art those which presented themselves, of
ministering to the comfort or convenience of her aunt, that she became
both respectable and necessary to her; and this was, generally speaking,
the utmost extent of Lady Pelham's attachments.
Lady Pelham sometimes spoke of her daughter, and Laura never missed the
opportunity of urging a reconciliation. She insisted that the rights of
natural affection were unalienable; that as they did not rest upon the
merits, so neither could they be destroyed by the unworthiness either of
parents or of children. The mother answered, with great impatience, that
Laura's argument was entirely founded on prejudice; that it was true
that for the helplessness of infancy, a peculiar feeling was provided;
but that in all animals this peculiar feeling ceased as soon as it was
no longer essential to the existence of the individual. 'From
thenceforth,' added she, 'the regard must be founded on the qualities of
the head and heart; and if my child is destitute of these, I can see no
reason why I should prefer her to the child of any other woman.' 'Ah!'
said Laura, tears of grateful recollection rushing down her cheek, 'some
parents have loved their child with a fervour which no worth of hers
could merit.' The gush of natural sensibility for this time averted the
rising storm; but the next time that Laura renewed her conciliatory
efforts, Lady Pelham, growing more vehement as she became herself
convinced that she was in the wrong, burst into a paroxysm of rage; and,
execrating all rebellious children, and their defenders, commanded Laura
in future to confine her attention to what might concern herself.
The humbling spectacle of a female face distorted with passion was not
quite new to Laura. Undismayed, she viewed it with calm commiseration;
and mildly expressing her sorrow for having given offence, took up her
work and left the ferment to subside at leisure. Her Ladyship's passion
soon cooled; and, making advances with a sort of surly condescension,
she entered on a new topic. Laura answered exactly as if nothing
disagreeable had happened; and Lady Pelham could not divine whether her
niece commanded her countenance, or her temper. Upon one principle of
judging the lady had grounds for her doubt; she herself had sometimes
commanded her countenance--her temper never.
Laura not only habitually avoided giving or taking offence, but made it
a rule to extinguish its last traces by some act of cordiality and
good-will. This evening, therefore, she proposed, with a grace which
seemed rather to petition a favour than to offer a service, to attempt
a portrait of her aunt. The offer was accepted with pleasure, and the
portrait begun on the following day. It proved a likeness, and a
favourable one. Lady Pelham was kinder than ever. Laura avoided the
prohibited subject, and all was quiet and serene. Lady Pelham at last
herself reverted to it; for indeed she could not long forbear to speak
upon any topic that roused her passions. No dread of personal
inconvenience could deter Laura from an act of justice or mercy, and she
again steadily pronounced her opinion. But aware that one who would
persuade must be careful not to irritate, she expressed her sentiments
with still more cautious gentleness than formerly; and perceiving that
her aunt was far more governed by passion than by reason, she quitted
argument for entreaty. By these means she avoided provoking hostility,
though she failed to win compliance. Lady Pelham seemed to be utterably
impenetrable to entreaty, or to take pride in resisting it, and Laura
had only to hope that time would favour her suit.
Lady Pelham mentioned an intention of moving early to the country, and
Laura rejoiced in the prospect of once more beholding the open face of
Heaven--of listening to nature's own music--of breathing the light air
of spring. She longed to turn her ear from the discords of the city to
the sweet sounds of peace--her eye from countenances wan with care,
flushed with intemperance, or ghastly with famine, to cheeks brown with
wholesome exercise, or ruddy with health and contentment--to exchange
the sight of dusky brick walls, and walks overlooked by thousands, for
the sunny slope or the sheltered solitary lane. Lady Pelham took
pleasure in describing the beauties of Walbourne, and Laura listened to
her with interest, anticipating eagerly the time when she should inhabit
so lovely, so peaceful a scene. But that interest and eagerness rose to
the highest, when she accidentally discovered that the De Courcy family
were Lady Pelham's nearest neighbours in the country.
The want of something to love and cherish, which was with her Ladyship a
mere form of speech, was with Laura a real necessity of nature; and
though it was one which almost every situation could supply, since every
creature that approached her was the object of her benevolence, yet much
of the happiness of so domestic a being depended on the exercise of the
dearer charities, and no one was more capable of a distinguishing
preference than Laura. She had a hearty regard for the De Courcy family.
She revered Mrs De Courcy; she liked Harriet; and bestowed on Montague
her cordial esteem and gratitude. This gratitude had now acquired a
sacred tenderness; for it was associated in her mind with the
remembrance of a parent. De Courcy's self-denial had cheered her
father's sick-bed, his benevolence gladdened her father's heart, and his
self-denial appeared more venerable, his benevolence more endearing.
Having written to inform Harriet of the change in her situation, she
discovered from her answer a new proof of De Courcy's friendship, in the
fruitless journey which he had made to relieve her, and she regretted
that her caution had deprived her of an opportunity of seeing and
thanking him for all his kindness. 'Yet, if we had met,' said she, 'I
should probably have acted as I have done a thousand times before; left
him to believe me an insensible, ungrateful creature, for want of
courage to tell him that I was not so.' She longed, however, to see De
Courcy; for with him she thought she could talk of her father--to him
lament her irreparable loss, dwell with him on the circumstances that
aggravated her sorrow--on the prospects which mingled that sorrow with
hope. This was a subject on which she never entered with Lady Pelham any
farther than necessity required--real sorrow has its holy ground, on
which no vulgar foot must tread. The self-command of Laura would have
forbidden her, in any situation, to darken with a settled gloom the
sunshine of domestic cheerfulness; but Lady Pelham had in her somewhat
which repels the confidence of grief. Against all the arrows of
misfortune, blunted at least as they rebound from the breasts of others,
she seemed to 'wear a charmed life.' She often indeed talked of
sensibility, and reprobated the want of it as the worst of faults; but
the only kind of it in which she indulged rather inclined to the
acrimonious than the benevolent, and Laura began to perceive, that
however her aunt might distinguish them in others, irascible passions
and keen feelings were in herself synonymous.
After the effort of giving and receiving the entertainment which Lady
Pelham constantly offered, and as constantly exacted in return, Laura
experienced a sensation of recovered freedom when the arrival of a
visitor permitted her to escape to her own apartment. She saw nobody but
her aunt, and never went abroad except to church. Thus, during a
fortnight which she had passed in Grosvenor Street she had heard nothing
of Hargrave. She was anxious to know whether he visited Lady Pelham;
for, with rustic ignorance, she imagined that all people of condition
who resided in the same town must be known to each other; but she had
not courage to ask, and searched in vain for his name among the cards
that crowded the table in the lobby. Though she was conscious of some
curiosity to know how he employed the hours which her absence left
vacant, she did not own to herself that she was at all concerned in a
resolution which she took, to inquire in person whether any letters had
been left for her with Mrs Stubbs. She did not choose to commit the
inquiry to a servant, because she would not condescend to enjoin her
messenger to secrecy as to the place of her abode; and she continued
resolved to give her lover no clue to discover it.
Accordingly, she early one morning set out in a hackney-coach, which she
took the precaution to leave at some distance from her old lodgings,
ordering it to wait her return. Fanny was delighted to see her, and
charmed with the improvement of her dress, and the returning
healthfulness of her appearance; but the landlady eyed her askance, and
surlily answered to her inquiry for her letters, that she would bring
the only one she had got; muttering, as she went to fetch it, something
of which the words 'secret doings' were all that reached Laura's ear.
'There, Miss,' said the ungracious Mrs Stubbs, 'there's your letter, and
there's the queer scrawl it came wrapped up in.' 'Mr De Courcy's hand,'
cried Laura surprised, but thinking, from its size, that some time would
be required to read it, she deferred breaking the seal till she should
return to her carriage. 'I suppose you're mistaken, Miss,' said Mrs
Stubbs; 'Mr De Courcy was here twice the day it came, and he never said
a word of it.'
Laura now tremulously inquired whether she might be permitted to visit
her father's room; but being roughly answered that it was occupied, she
quietly prepared to go. As Fanny followed her through the garden, to
open the gate for her, Laura, a conscious blush rising to her face,
inquired whether any body else had inquired for her since her departure.
Fanny, who was ready to burst with the news of Hargrave's visit, and who
was just meditating how she might venture to introduce it, improved this
occasion of entering on a full detail of his behaviour. With the true
waiting-maid-like fondness for romance, she enlarged upon all his
extravagancies, peeping side-long now and then under Laura's bonnet, to
catch encouragement from the complacent simper with which such tales are
often heard. But no smile repaid her eloquence. With immoveable
seriousness did Laura listen to her, gravely revolving the strange
nature of that love which could so readily amalgamate with rage and
jealousy, and every discordant passion. She was hurt at the indecorum
which exposed these weaknesses to the observation of a servant; and
with a sigh reflected, that, to constitute the happiness of a woman of
sense and spirit, a husband must be possessed of qualities respectable
as well as amiable.
Fanny next tried, whether what concerned De Courcy might not awaken more
apparent interest; and here she had at least a better opportunity to
judge of the effect of her narrative, for Laura stopped and turned full
towards her. But Fanny had now no transports to relate, except De
Courcy's indignation of Mrs Stubbs' calumny; and it was not without
hesitating, and qualifying, and apologizing, that the girl ventured to
hint at the insinuation which her mistress had thrown out. She had at
last succeeded in raising emotion, for indignant crimson dyed Laura's
cheeks, and fire flashed from her eyes. But Laura seldom spoke while she
was angry; and again she silently pursued her way. 'Pray, Madam,' said
the girl as she was opening the gate, 'do be so good as to tell me where
you live now, that nobody may speak ill of you before me?' 'I thank you,
my good girl,' returned Laura, a placid smile again playing on her
countenance; 'but my character is in no danger.--You were kind to us,
Fanny, when you knew that we could not reward you; accept of this from
me;' and she put five guineas into her hand. 'No, indeed, Ma'am,' cried
Fanny, drawing back her hand and colouring; 'I was civil for pure good
will, and--.' Laura, whose sympathy with her inferiors was not confined
to her bodily wants, fully understood the feeling that revolts from
bartering for gold alone the service of the heart. 'I know it my dear,'
answered she, in an affectionate tone; 'and believe me, I only mean to
acknowledge, not to repay, your kindness.' Fanny, however, persisted in
her refusal, and Laura obliged her to leave her at the gate, where, with
tears in her eyes, the girl stood gazing after her till she was out of
sight. 'I'm sure,' said she, turning towards the house as Laura
disappeared, 'I'm sure she was made to be a queen, for the more one
likes her, the more she frightens one.'
As soon as Laura was seated in her carriage, she opened her packet, and
with momentary disappointment examined its contents. 'Not one line!' she
cried in a tone of mortification; and then turned to the envelope
addressed to Mrs Stubbs. Upon comparing this with the circumstances
which she had lately heard, she at once comprehended De Courcy's
intention of serving her by stealth, foregoing the credit due to his
generosity. She wondered, indeed, that he had neglected to disguise his
hand-writing in the superscription. 'Did he think,' said she, 'that I
could have forgotten the writing that has so often brought comfort to my
father?' She little guessed how distant from his mind was the repose
which can attend to minute contrivance.
Delighted to discover a trait of character which tallied so well with
her preconceived opinion, she no sooner saw Lady Pelham than she related
it to her aunt, and began a warm eulogium on De Courcy's temper and
dispositions. Lady Pelham coldly cut her short, by saying, 'I believe Mr
De Courcy is a very good young man, but I am not very fond of prodigies.
One can't both wonder and like at a time; your men with two heads are
always either supposititious or disgusting.' This speech was one of the
dampers which the warm heart abhors; real injury could not more
successfully chill affection or repress confidence. It had just malice
and just truth enough to be provoking; and for the second time that day
Laura had to strive with the risings of anger. She was upon the point of
saying, 'So, aware of the impossibility of being at once wonderful and
pleasing, your Ladyship, I suppose, aims at only one of these objects;'
but ere the sarcasm found utterance, she checked herself, and hastened
out of the room, with the sensation of having escaped from danger. She
retired to write to De Courcy a letter of grateful acknowledgment; in
which, after having received Lady Pelham's approbation, she inclosed his
gift, explaining the circumstances which now rendered it unnecessary.
Lady Pelham was not more favourable to the rest of the De Courcy family
than she had been to Montague. She owned, indeed, that Mrs De Courcy was
the best woman in the world, but a virtue, she said, so cased in armour,
necessarily precluded all grace or attraction. Harriet she characterized
as a little sarcastic coquette. Laura, weary of being exposed to the
double peril of weakly defending, or angrily supporting her attacked
friends, ceased to mention the De Courcys at all; though, with a
pardonable spirit of contradiction, she loved them the better for the
unprovoked hostility of Lady Pelham. The less she talked of them, the
more she longed for the time when she might, unrestrained, exchange with
them testimonies of regard. The trees in the Park, as they burst into
leaf, stimulated Laura's desire for the country; and while she felt the
genial air of spring, or listened to the early song of some luckless
bird caged in a neighbouring window, or saw the yellow glories of the
crocus peeping from its unnatural sanctuary, she counted the days till
her eyes should be gladdened with the joyous face of nature. Only a
fortnight had now to pass before her wish was to be gratified, for Lady
Pelham intended at the end of that time to remove to Walbourne.
Laura was just giving the finishing touches to her aunt's portrait when
a visitor was announced; and, very unwilling to break off at this
interesting crisis, Lady Pelham having first scolded the servant for
letting in her friend, desired him to shew the lady into the room where
Laura was at work. The usual speeches being made, the lady began--'Who
does your ladyship think bowed to me en passant just as I was getting
out of the carriage?--Why, Lady Bellamer!--Can you conceive such
effrontery?' 'Indeed, I think, in common modesty, she should have waited
for your notice!' 'Do you know, I am told on good authority that
Hargrave is determined not to marry her.' Laura's breath came
short.--'He is very right,' returned Lady Pelham. 'A man must be a great
fool to marry where he has had such damning proofs of frailty.' Laura's
heart seemed to pause for a moment, and then to redouble its
beating.--'What Hargrave can this be?' thought she; but she durst not
inquire. 'I hear,' resumed the lady, 'that his uncle is enraged at him,
and more for the duel than the crim. con.' The pencils dropped from
Laura's hand.--Fain would she have inquired, what she yet so much
dreaded to know; but her tongue refused its office. 'I see no cause for
that,' returned Lady Pelham; 'Hargrave could not possibly refuse to
fight after such an affair.' 'Oh certainly not!' replied the lady; 'but
Lord Lincourt thinks, that in such a case, Hargrave ought to have
insisted upon giving Lord Bellamer the first fire, and then have fired
his own pistol in the air.--But, bless me, what ails Miss Montreville,'
cried the visitor, looking at Laura, who, dreadfully convinced, was
stealing out of the room. 'Nothing,' answered Laura; and fainted.
Lady Pelham called loudly for help; and, while the servants were
administering it, stood by conjecturing what could be the cause of
Laura's illness; wondering whether it could have any possible connection
with Colonel Hargrave; or whether it were the effect of mere
constitutional habit.
The moment Laura shewed signs of recollection, Lady Pelham began her
interrogation. 'What has been the matter my dear? What made you ill? Did
any thing affect you? Are you subject to faintings?' Laura remained
silent, and, closing her eyes, seemed deaf to all her aunt's questions.
After a pause, Lady Pelham renewed the attack.--'Have you any concern
with Colonel Hargrave, Laura?' 'None,' answered Laura, with a smile of
ineffable bitterness; and again closing her eyes, maintained an
obstinate silence. Weary of ineffectual inquiries, Lady Pelham quitted
her, giving orders, that she should be assisted into bed, and
recommending to her to take some rest.
Vain advice! Laura could not rest! From the stupor which had overpowered
her faculties, she awoke to the full conviction, that all her earthly
prospects were for ever darkened. Just entering on life, she seemed
already forsaken of all its hopes, and all its joys. The affections
which had delighted her youth were torn from the bleeding soul; no
sacred connection remained to bless her maturity; no endearment awaited
her decline. In all her long and dreary journey to the grave, she saw no
kindly resting-place. Still Laura's hopes and wishes had never been
bounded to this narrow sphere; and when she found here no rest for the
sole of her foot, she had, in the promises of religion, an ark whither
she could turn for shelter. But how should she forget that these
promises extended not to Hargrave. How shut her ear to the dread voice
which, in threatening the adulterer and the murderer, denounced
vengeance against Hargrave! With horror unspeakable she considered his
incorrigible depravity; with agony, revolved its fearful consequences.
Yet, while the guilt was hateful in her eyes, her heart was full of love
and compassion for the offender. The feeling with which she remembered
his unfaithfulness to her had no resemblance to jealousy. 'He has been
misled,' she cried; 'vilely betrayed by a wretch, who has taken
advantage of his weakness. Oh how could she look on that form, that
countenance, and see in them only the objects of a passion, vile as the
heart that cherished it.'--Then she would repent of her want of
candour.--'I am unjust, I am cruel,' she said, 'thus to load with all
the burden of this foul offence, her who had perhaps the least share in
it.--No! He must have been the tempter; it is not in woman to be so
lost.'
But in the midst of sorrow, whose violence seemed at times almost to
confuse her reason, she never hesitated for a moment on the final
dissolution of her connection with Hargrave. She formed no resolution on
a subject where no alternative seemed to remain, but assumed, as the
foundation of all her plans of joyless duty, her eternal separation from
Hargrave; a separation final as death. By degrees she became more able
to collect her thoughts; and the close of a sleepless night found her
exercising the valuable habit of seeking in herself the cause of her
misfortunes. The issue of her self-examination was the conviction, that
she had bestowed on a frail fallible creature, a love disproportioned
to the merits of any created thing; that she had obstinately clung to
her idol after she had seen its baseness; and that now the broken reed
whereon she had leaned was taken away, that she might restore her trust
and her love where alone they were due. That time infallibly brings
comfort even to the sorest sorrows--that if we make not shipwreck of
faith and a good conscience, we save from the storms of life the
materials of peace at least--that lesser joys become valuable when we
are deprived of those of keener relish--are lessons which even
experience teaches but slowly: and Laura had them yet in a great measure
to learn. She was persuaded that she should go on mourning to the grave.
What yet remained of her path of life seemed to lie through a desert
waste, never more to be warmed with the sunshine of affection; never
more to be brightened with any ray of hope, save that which beamed from
beyond the tomb. She imagined, that lonely and desolate she should pass
through life, and joyfully hail the messenger that called her away; like
some wretch, who, cast alone on a desert rock, watches for the sail that
is to waft him to his native land.
The despair of strong minds is not listless or inactive. The more Laura
was convinced that life was lost as to all its pleasing purposes, the
more was she determined that it should be subservient to useful ends.
Earthly felicity, she was convinced, had fled for ever from her grasp;
and the only resolution she could form, was never more to pursue it;
but, in the persevering discharge of the duties which yet remained to
her, to seek a preparation for joys which earth has not to bestow. That
she might not devote to fruitless lamentation the time which was claimed
by duty, she, as soon as it was day, attempted to rise, intending to
spend the morning in acts of resignation for herself, and prayers that
pardon and repentance might be granted to him whose guilt had destroyed
her peace. But her head was so giddy, that, unable to stand, she was
obliged to return to her bed. It was long ere she was again able to quit
it. A slow fever seized her, and brought her to the brink of the grave.
Her senses, however, remained uninjured, and she had full power and
leisure to make those reflections which force themselves upon all who
are sensible of approaching dissolution. Happy were it, if all who smart
under disappointment, would anticipate the hour which will assuredly
arrive, when the burden which they impatiently bear shall appear to be
lighter than vanity! The hand which is soon to be cold, resigns without
a struggle the baubles of the world. Its cheats delude not the eye that
is for ever closing. A deathbed is that holy ground where the charms of
the enchanter are dissolved; where the forms which he had clothed with
unreal beauty, or aggravated to gigantic horror, are seen in their true
form and colouring. In its true form and colouring did Laura behold her
disappointment; when, with characteristic firmness, she had wrung from
her attendants, a confession of her danger. With amazement she looked
back on the infatuation which could waste on any concern less than
eternal, the hopes, the fears, and the wishes which she had squandered
on a passion which now seemed trivial as the vapour scattered by the
wind.
At last, aided by the rigid temperance of her former life, and her
exemplary patience in suffering, the strength of her constitution began
to triumph over her disorder. As she measured her steps back to earth
again, the concerns which had seemed to her reverting eye diminished
into nothing, again swelled into importance; but Laura could not soon
forget the time when she had seen them as they were; and this
remembrance powerfully aided her mind in its struggle to cast off its
now disgraceful shackles. Yet bitter was the struggle; for what is so
painful as to tear at once from the breast what has twined itself with
every fibre, linked itself with every hope, stimulated every desire, and
long furnished objects of intense, of unceasing interest. The heart
which death leaves desolate, slowly and gently resigns the affection to
which it has fondly clung. It is permitted to seek indulgence in
virtuous sorrow, to rejoice in religious hope; and even memory brings
pleasure dear to the widowed mind. But she who mourned the depravity of
her lover, felt that she was degraded by her sorrow; hope was, as far as
he was concerned, utterly extinguished; and memory presented only a
mortifying train of weaknesses and self-deceptions.
But love is not that irremediable calamity which romance has delighted
to paint, and the vulgar to believe it. Time, vanity, absence, or any of
a hundred other easy remedies, serves to cure the disease in the mild
form in which it affects feeble minds, while more Herculean spirits tear
off the poisoned garment, though it be with mortal anguish. In a few
weeks, the passion which had so long disturbed the peace of Laura was
hushed to lasting repose; but it was the repose of the land where the
whirlwind has passed; dreary and desolate. Her spirits had received a
shock from which it was long, very long, ere she could rouse them. And
he who had ceased to be an object of passion, still excited an interest
which no other human being could awaken. Many a wish did she breathe
for his happiness; many a fervent prayer for his reformation. In spite
of herself, she lamented the extinguished love, as well as the lost
lover; and never remembered, without a heavy sigh, that the season of
enthusiastic attachment was, with her, passed never to return.
But she cordially wished that she might never again behold the cause of
so much anguish and humiliation. She longed to be distant from all
chance of such a meeting, and was anxious to recover strength sufficient
for her journey to Walbourne. Lady Pelham only waited for her niece's
recovery; and, as soon as she could bear the motion of a carriage, they
left London.
CHAPTER XXI
They travelled slowly, and Laura's health seemed improved by the
journey. The reviving breeze of early spring, the grass field exchanging
its winter olive for a bright green, the ploughman's cheerful labour,
the sower whistling to his measured step, the larch trees putting forth
the first and freshest verdure of the woods, the birds springing busy
from the thorn, were objects whose cheering influence would have been
lost on many a querulous child of disappointment. But they were
industriously improved to their proper use by Laura, who acknowledged in
them the kindness of a father, mingling with some cordial drop even the
bitterest cup of sorrow. The grief which had fastened on her heart she
never obtruded on her companion. She behaved always with composure,
sometimes with cheerfulness. She never obliquely reflected upon
Providence, by insinuations of the hardness of her fate, nor indulged in
splenetic dissertations on the inconstancy and treachery of man. Indeed
she never, by the most distant hint, approached the ground of her own
peculiar sorrow. She could not, without the deepest humiliation, reflect
that she had bestowed her love on an object so unworthy. She burnt with
shame at the thought of having been so blinded, so infatuated, by
qualities merely external. While she remembered, with extreme vexation,
that she had suffered Hargrave to triumph in the confession of her
regard, she rejoiced that no other witness existed of her folly--that
she had never breathed the mortifying secret into any other ear.
In this frame of mind, she repelled with calm dignity every attempt
which Lady Pelham made to penetrate her sentiments; and behaved in such
a manner that her aunt could not discover whether her spirits were
affected by languor of body or by distress of mind. Laura, indeed, had
singular skill in the useful art of repulsing without offence; and Lady
Pelham, spite of her curiosity, found it impossible to question her
niece with freedom. Notwithstanding her youth, and her almost dependent
situation, Laura inspired Lady Pelham with involuntary awe. Her
dignified manners, her vigorous understanding, the inflexible integrity
which descended even to the regulation of her forms of speech, extorted
some degree of respectful caution from one not usually over careful of
giving offence. Lady Pelham was herself at times conscious of this
restraint; and her pride was wounded by it. In Laura's absence, she
sometimes thought of it with impatience, and resolved to cast it off at
their next interview; but whenever they met, the unoffending majesty of
Laura effaced her resolution, or awed her from putting it in practice.
She could not always, however, refrain from using that sort of innuendo
which is vulgarly called talking at one's companions; a sort of
rhetoric in great request with those who have more spleen than courage,
and which differs from common scolding only in being a little more
cowardly and a little more provoking. All her Ladyship's dexterity and
perseverance in this warfare were entirely thrown away. Whatever might
be meant, Laura answered to nothing but what met the ear; and, with
perverse simplicity, avoided the particular application of general
propositions. Lady Pelham next tried to coax herself into Laura's
confidence. She redoubled her caresses and professions of affection. She
hinted, not obscurely, that if Laura would explain her wishes, they
would meet with indulgence, and even assistance, from zealous
friendship. Her professions were received with gratitude--her caresses
returned with sensibility; but Laura remained impenetrable. Lady
Pelham's temper could never brook resistance; and she would turn from
Laura in a pet:--the pitiful garb of anger which cannot disguise, and
dares not show itself. But Laura never appeared to bestow the slightest
notice on her caprice, and received her returning smiles with unmoved
complacency. Laura would fain have loved her aunt; but in spite of
herself, her affection took feeble root amidst these alternations of
frost and sunshine. She was weary of hints and insinuations; and felt
not a little pleased that Lady Pelham's fondness for improving and
gardening seemed likely to release her, during most of the hours of
daylight, from this sort of sharpshooting warfare.
It was several days after their arrival at Walbourne before they were
visited by any of the De Courcy family. Undeceived in his hopes of
Laura's regard, Montague was almost reluctant to see her again. Yet
from the hour when he observed Lady Pelham's carriage drive up the
avenue, he had constantly chosen to study at a window which looked
towards Walbourne. Laura, too, often looked towards Norwood, excusing to
herself the apparent neglect of her friends, by supposing that they had
not been informed of her arrival. Lady Pelham was abroad superintending
her gardeners, and Laura employed in her own apartment, when she was
called to receive De Courcy. For the first time since the wreck of all
her hopes, joy flushed the wan cheek of Laura, and fired her eye with
transient lustre. 'I shall hear the voice of friendship once more,' said
she, and she hastened down stairs with more speed than suited her but
half-recovered strength. 'Dear Mr De Courcy,' she cried, joyfully
advancing towards him! De Courcy scarcely ventured to raise his eyes.
Laura held out her hand to him. 'She loves a libertine!' thought he,
and, scarcely touching it, he drew back. With grief and surprise, Laura
read the cold and melancholy expression of his face. Her feeble spirits
failed under so chilling a reception; and while, in a low tremulous
voice, she inquired for Mrs and Miss De Courcy, unbidden tears wandered
down her cheeks. In replying, Montague again turned his eyes towards
her; and, shocked at the paleness and dejection of her altered
countenance, remembered only Laura ill and in sorrow. 'Good Heavens!' he
exclaimed, with a voice of the tenderest interest, 'Laura--Miss
Montreville, you are ill--you are unhappy!' Laura, vexed that her
weakness should thus extort compassion, hastily dried her tears. 'I have
been ill,' said she, 'and am still so weak that any trifle can
discompose me.' Montague's colour rose. 'It is then a mere trifle in her
eyes,' thought he, 'that I should meet her with coldness.' 'And yet,'
continued Laura, reading mortification in his face, 'it is no trifle to
fear that I have given offence where I owe so much gratitude.' 'Talk not
of gratitude, I beseech you,' said De Courcy, 'I have no claim, no wish,
to excite it.' 'Mr De Courcy,' cried Laura, bursting into tears of sad
remembrance, 'has all your considerate friendship, all your soothing
kindness to him who is gone, no claim to the gratitude of his child!'
Montague felt that he stood at this moment upon dangerous ground, and he
gladly availed himself of this opportunity to quit it. He led Laura to
talk of her father, and of the circumstances of his death; and was not
ashamed to mingle sympathetic tears with those which her narrative wrung
from her. In her detail, she barely hinted at the labour by which she
had supported her father; and avoided all allusion to the wants which
she had endured. If any thing could have exalted her in the opinion of
De Courcy, it would have been the humility which sought no praise to
recompense exertion--no admiration to reward self-denial. 'The praise of
man is with her as nothing,' thought he, gazing on her wasted form and
faded features with fonder adoration than ever he had looked on her full
blaze of beauty. 'She has higher hopes and nobler aims. And can such a
creature love a sensualist!--Now, too, when his infamy cannot be unknown
to her! Yet it must be so--she has never named him, even while
describing scenes where he was daily present; and why this silence if he
were indifferent to her? If I durst mention him!--but I cannot give her
pain.'
From this reverie De Courcy was roused by the entrance of Lady Pelham,
whose presence brought to his recollection the compliments and
ceremonial which Laura had driven from his mind. He apologized for
having delayed his visit; and excused himself for having made it alone,
by saying that his sister was absent on a visit to a friend, and that
his mother could not yet venture abroad; but he warmly entreated that
the ladies would wave etiquette, and see Mrs De Courcy at Norwood. Lady
Pelham, excusing herself for the present on the plea of her niece's
indisposition, urged De Courcy to direct his walks often towards
Walbourne; in charity, she said, to Laura, who being unable to take
exercise, spent her forenoons alone, sighing, she supposed, for some
Scotch Strephon. Laura blushed; and Montague took his leave, pondering
whether the blush was deepened by any feeling of consciousness.
'She has a witchcraft in her that no language can express--no heart
withstand--,' said De Courcy, suddenly breaking a long silence, as he
and his mother were sitting tte  tte after dinner. 'Marriage is an
excellent talisman against witchcraft,' said De Courcy, gravely; 'but
Miss Montreville has charms that will delight the more the better they
are known. There is such noble simplicity, such considerate benevolence,
such total absence of vanity and selfishness in her character, that no
woman was ever better fitted to embellish and endear domestic life.'
'Perhaps in time,' pursued De Courcy, 'I might have become not unworthy
of such a companion--But now it matters not,'--and, suppressing a very
bitter sigh, he took up a book which he had of late been reading to his
mother. 'You know, Montague,' said Mrs De Courcy, 'I think differently
from you upon this subject. I am widely mistaken in Miss Montreville, if
she could bestow her preference on a libertine, knowing him to be
such.' Montague took involuntary pleasure in hearing this opinion
repeated; yet he had less faith in it than he usually had in the
opinions of his mother. 'After the emotion which his presence excited,'
returned he,--'an emotion which even these low people--I cannot think of
it with patience,' cried he, tossing away the book, and walking hastily
up and down the room. 'To betray her weakness, her only weakness, to
such observers--to the wretch himself.' 'My dear De Courcy, do you make
no allowance for the exaggeration, the rage for the romantic, so common
to uneducated minds?' 'Wilkins could have no motive for inventing such a
tale,' replied De Courcy; 'and if it had any foundation, there is no
room for doubt.' 'Admitting the truth of all you have heard,' resumed
Mrs De Courcy, 'I see no reason for despairing of success. If I know any
thing of character, Miss Montreville's attachments will ever follow
excellence, real or imaginary. Your worth is real, Montague; and, as
such, it will in time approve itself to her.' 'Ah, Madam, had her
affection been founded even on imaginary excellence, must it not now
have been completely withdrawn--now, when she cannot be unacquainted
with his depravity. Yet she loves him still.--I am sure she loves him.
Why else this guarded silence in regard to him?--Why not mention that
she permitted his daily visits--saw him even on the night when her
father died?' 'Supposing,' returned Mrs De Courcy, 'that her affection
had been founded on imaginary excellence, might not traces of the ruins
remain perceptible, even after the foundation had been taken away? Come,
come, Montague, you are only four-and-twenty, you can afford a few years
patience. If you act prudently, I am convinced that your perseverance
will succeed; but if it should not, I know how you can bear
disappointment. I am certain that your happiness depends not on the
smile of any face, however fair.' 'I am ashamed,' said De Courcy, 'to
confess how much my peace depends upon Laura. You know I have no
ambition--all my joys must be domestic. It is as a husband and a father
that all my wishes must be fulfilled--and all that I have ever fancied
of venerable and endearing, so meet in her, that no other woman can ever
fill her place.' 'That you have no ambition,' replied Mrs De Courcy, 'is
one of the reasons why I join in your wishes. If your happiness had any
connection with splendour, I should have regretted your choice of a
woman without fortune. But all that is necessary for your comfort you
will find in the warmth of heart with which Laura will return your
affection--the soundness of principle with which she will assist you in
your duties. Still, perhaps, you might find these qualities in others,
though not united in an equal degree; but I confess to you, Montague, I
despair of your again meeting with a woman whose dispositions and
pursuits are so congenial to your own;--a woman, whose cultivated mind
and vigorous understanding, may make her the companion of your studies
as well as of your lighter hours.' 'My dear mother,' cried De Courcy,
affectionately grasping her hand, 'it is no wonder that I persecute you
with this subject so near to my heart for you always, and you alone,
support my hopes. Yet should I even at last obtain this treasure, I must
ever regret that I cannot awaken the enthusiasm which belongs only to a
first attachment.' 'Montague,' said Mrs De Courcy, smiling, 'from what
romance have you learnt that sentiment? However I shall not attempt the
labour of combating it, for I prophesy that, before the change can be
necessary, you will learn to be satisfied with being loved with reason.'
'Many a weary day must pass before I can even hope for this cold
preference. Indeed, if her choice is to be decided by mere rational
approbation, why should I hope that it will fall upon me? Yet, if it be
possible, her friendship I will gain--and I would not exchange it for
the love of all her sex.' 'She already esteems you--highly esteems you,'
said Mrs De Courcy; 'and I repeat that I think you need not despair of
animating esteem into a warmer sentiment. But will you profit by my
knowledge of my sex, Montague? You know, the less use we make of our own
wisdom, the fonder we grow of bestowing it on others in the form of
advice! Keep your secret carefully, Montague. Much of your hope depends
on your caution. Pretensions to a pre-engaged heart are very generally
repaid with dislike.' Montague promised attention to his mother's
advice; but added, that he feared he should not long be able to follow
it. 'I am a bad dissembler,' said he, 'and on this subject, it is
alleged, that ladies are eagle-eyed.' 'Miss Montreville, of all women
living, has the least vanity,' returned Mrs De Courcy; 'and you may
always reinforce your caution, by recollecting that the prepossessions
which will certainly be against you as a lover, may be secured in your
favour as a friend.'
The next day found De Courcy again at Walbourne; and again he enjoyed a
long and private interview with Laura. Though their conversation turned
only on indifferent subjects, De Courcy observed the settled melancholy
which had taken possession of her mind. It was no querulous complaining
sorrow, but a calm sadness, banishing all the cheerful illusions of a
life which it still valued as the preparation for a better. To that
better world all her hopes and wishes seemed already fled; and the saint
herself seemed waiting, with resigned desire, for permission to depart.
De Courcy's fears assigned to her melancholy its true cause. He would
have given worlds to know the real state of her sentiments, and to
ascertain how far her attachment had survived the criminality of
Hargrave. But he had not courage to probe the painful wound. He could
not bear to inflict upon Laura even momentary anguish; perhaps he even
feared to know the full extent of those regrets which she lavished on
his rival. With scrupulous delicacy he avoided approaching any subject
which could at all lead her thoughts towards the cause of her sorrow,
and never even seemed to notice the dejection which wounded him to the
soul.
'The spring of her mind is for ever destroyed,' said he to Mrs De
Courcy, 'and yet she retains all her angelic benevolence. She strives to
make pleasing to others, the objects that will never more give pleasure
to her.' Mrs De Courcy expressed affectionate concern, but added, 'I
never knew of a sorrow incurable at nineteen. We must bring Laura to
Norwood, and find employments for her suited to her kindly nature.
Meanwhile do you exert yourself to rouse her; and, till she is well
enough to leave home, I shall freely resign to her all my claims upon
your time.' De Courcy faithfully profited by his mother's permission,
and found almost every day an excuse for visiting Walbourne. Sometimes
he brought a book which he read aloud to the ladies; sometimes he
borrowed one, which he chose to return in person; now he wished to shew
Laura a medal, and now he had some particularly fine flower-seeds for
Lady Pelham. Chemical experiments were an excellent pretext; for they
were seldom completed at a visit, and the examination of one created a
desire for another. Laura was not insensible to his attentions. She
believed that he attributed whatever was visible of her depression to
regrets for her father; and she was by turns ashamed of permitting her
weakness to wear the mask of filial piety, and thankful that she escaped
the degradation of being pitied as a love-sick girl. But love had now no
share in Laura's melancholy. Compassion, strong indeed to a painful
excess, was the only gentle feeling that mingled with the pain of
remembering Hargrave. Who that, in early youth, gives way to the
chilling conviction, that nothing on earth will ever again kindle a wish
or a hope, can look without sadness on the long pilgrimage that spreads
before them? Laura looked upon hers with resigned sadness, and a
thousand times repeated to herself that it was but a point, compared
with what lay beyond. Hopeless of happiness, she yet forced herself to
seek short pleasure in the charms of nature, and the comforts of
affluence; calling them the flowers which a bountiful hand had scattered
in the desert which it was needful that she should tread alone. It was
with some surprise that she found De Courcy's visits produced pleasure
without requiring an effort to be pleased; and with thankfulness she
acknowledged that the enjoyments of the understanding were still open to
her, though those of the heart were for ever withdrawn.
In the meantime her health improved rapidly, and she was able to join in
Lady Pelham's rambles in the shrubbery. To avoid particularity, De
Courcy had often quitted Laura to attend on these excursions; and he
rejoiced when her recovered strength allowed him to gratify, without
imprudence, the inclination which brought him to Walbourne. It often,
however, required all his influence to persuade her to accompany him in
his walks with Lady Pelham. Her Ladyship's curiosity had by no means
subsided. On the contrary, it was rather exasperated by her conviction
that her niece's dejection had not been the consequence of ill health,
since it continued after that plea was removed; and Laura was constantly
tormented with oblique attempts to discover what she was determined
should never be known.
Lady Pelham's attacks were now become the more provoking, because she
could address her hints to a third person, who, not aware of their
tendency, might strengthen them by assent, or unconsciously point them
as they were intended. She contrived to make even her very looks
tormenting, by directing, upon suitable occasions, sly glances of
discovery to Laura's face; where, if they found out nothing, they at
least insinuated that there was something to find out. She was
inimitably dexterous and indefatigable in improving every occasion of
innuendo. Any subject, however irrelevant, furnished her with the
weapons of her warfare. 'Does this flower never open any further?' asked
Laura, shewing one to De Courcy--'No,' said Lady Pelham, pushing in
between them; 'that close thing, wrapped up in itself, never expands in
the genial warmth; it never shews its heart.' 'This should be a precious
book with so many envelopes,' said Laura, untying a parcel.--'More
likely,' said Lady Pelham, with a sneer, 'that what is folded in so many
doublings won't be worth looking into.' 'This day is cold for the
season,' said De Courcy, one day warming himself after his ride.
'Spring colds are the most chilling of any,' said Lady Pelham. 'They are
like a repulsive character in youth; one is not prepared for them. The
frosts of winter are more natural.'
Lady Pelham was not satisfied with using the occasions that presented
themselves; she invented others. When the weather confined her at home,
and she had nothing else to occupy her, she redoubled her industry.
'Bless me, what a sentiment!' she exclaimed, affecting surprise and
consternation, though she had read the book which contained it above
twenty times before.--'"Always live with a friend as if he might one day
become an enemy!" I can conceive nothing more detestable. A cold-hearted
suspicious wretch! Now to a friend I could not help being all open and
ingenuous but a creature capable of having such a thought, could never
have a friend.' Lady Pelham ran on for a while, contrasting her open
ingenuous self, with the odious character which her significant looks
appropriated to her niece, till even the mild Laura was provoked to
reply. Fixing her eyes upon her aunt with calm severity, 'If
Rochefoucault meant,' said she, 'that a friend should be treated with
suspicious confidence, as if he might one day betray, I agree with your
Ladyship in thinking such a sentiment incompatible with friendship; but
we are indebted to him for a useful lesson, if he merely intended to
remind us that it is easy to alienate affection without proceeding to
real injury, and very possible to forfeit esteem without incurring
serious guilt.'--The blood mounted in Lady Pelham's face, but the calm
austerity of Laura's eye imposed silence, and she continued to turn over
the pages of her book, while her niece rose and left the room. She then
tossed it away, and walked angrily up and down, fretting between baulked
curiosity and irritated pride. Finding every other mode of attack
unsuccessful, she once more resolved to have recourse to direct
interrogation. This intention had been frequently formed, and as often
defeated by the dignified reserve of Laura; but now that Lady Pelham
felt her pride concerned, she grew angry enough to be daring. It was so
provoking to be kept in awe by a mere girl, a dependent. Lady Pelham
could at any time meditate herself into a passion; she did so on the
present occasion; and accordingly resolved and executed in the same
breath. She followed Laura to her apartment, determined to insist upon
knowing what affected her spirits. Laura received her with a smile so
gracious, that, spite of herself, her wrath began to evaporate.
Conceiving it proper, however, to maintain an air of importance, she
began with an aspect that announced hostility, and a voice in which
anger increased intended gravity into surliness. 'Miss Montreville, if
you are at leisure I wish to speak with you.' 'Quite at leisure, Madam,'
said Laura in a tone of the most conciliating good humour, and motioning
her aunt to a seat by the fire. 'It is extremely unpleasant,' said Lady
Pelham, tossing her head to escape the steady look of inquiry which
Laura directed towards her; 'It is extremely unpleasant (at least if one
has any degree of sensibility) to live with persons who always seem
unhappy, and are always striving to conceal it, especially when one can
see no cause for their unhappiness.' 'It must indeed be very
distressing,' returned Laura mentally preparing for her defence. 'Then I
wonder,' said Lady Pelham, with increased acrimony of countenance, 'why
you choose to subject me to so disagreeable a situation. It is very
evident that there is something in your mind which you are either afraid
or ashamed to tell.' 'I am sorry,' said Laura, with unmoved
self-possession, 'to be the cause of any uneasiness to your Ladyship. I
do not pretend that my spirits are high, but I should not have thought
their depression unaccountable. The loss of my only parent, and such a
parent! is reason for lasting sorrow; and my own so recent escape from
the jaws of the grave, might impose seriousness upon levity itself.'--'I
have a strong notion, however, that none of these is the true cause of
your penseroso humours. Modern misses don't break their hearts for the
loss of their parents.--I remember you fainted away just when Mrs
Harrington was talking to me of Colonel Hargrave's affair; and I know he
was quartered for a whole year in your neighbourhood.'
Lady Pelham stopped to reconnoitre her niece's face, but without
success; for Laura had let fall her scissors, and was busily seeking
them on the carpet. 'Did you know him?' inquired Lady Pelham. 'I have
seen him,' answered Laura, painfully recollecting how little she had
really known him. 'Did he visit at Glenalbert?' resumed her Ladyship,
recovering her temper, as she thought she had discovered a clue to
Laura's sentiments. 'Yes, Madam, often;' replied Laura, who having, with
a strong effort, resumed her self-possession, again submitted her
countenance to inspection. 'And he was received there as a lover I
presume?' said Lady Pelham, in a tone of interrogation. Laura fixed on
her aunt one of her cool commanding glances. 'Your Ladyship,' returned
she, 'seems so much in earnest, that if the question were a little less
extraordinary, I should almost have thought you expected a serious
answer.' Lady Pelham's eyes were not comfortably placed, and she
removed them by turns to every piece of furniture in the apartment.
Speedily recovering herself, she returned to the charge. 'I think, after
the friendship I have shewn, I have some right to be treated with
confidence.' 'My dear Madam,' said Laura, gratefully pressing Lady
Pelham's hand between her own, 'believe me, I am not forgetful of the
kindness which has afforded me shelter and protection; but there are
some subjects of which no degree of intimacy will permit the discussion.
It is evident, that whatever proposals have hitherto been made to me,
have received such an answer as imposes discretion upon me. No addresses
which I accept shall ever be a secret from your Ladyship--those which I
reject I am not equally entitled to reveal.' 'By which I understand you
to say, that you have rejected Colonel Hargrave?' said Lady Pelham. 'By
no means,' answered Laura, with spirit, 'I was far from saying so. I
merely intended to express my persuasion, that you are too generous to
urge me on a sort of subject where I ought not to be communicative.'
'Very well, Miss Montreville,' cried Lady Pelham, rising in a pet, 'I
comprehend the terms on which you choose that we should live. I may have
the honour of being your companion, but I must not aspire to the rank of
a friend.' 'Indeed, my dear aunt,' said Laura, in a voice irresistibly
soothing, 'I have no earthly wish so strong as to find a real friend in
you: but,' added she, with an insinuating smile, 'I shall never earn the
treasure with tales of luckless love.' 'Well, Madam,' said Lady Pelham,
turning to quit the room, 'I shall take care for the future not to press
myself into your confidence; and as it is not the most delightful thing
in the world to live in the midst of ambuscades, I shall intrude as
little as possible on your more agreeable engagements.' 'Pray, don't
go,' said Laura with perfect good humour, and holding upon her delicate
fingers a cap which she had been making, 'I have finished your cap. Pray
have the goodness to let me try it on.' Female vanity is at least a
sexagnaire. Lady Pelham sent a side glance towards the cap. 'Pray
do,' said Laura, taking her hand, and coaxingly pulling her back. 'Make
haste then,' said Lady Pelham, sullenly, 'for I have no time to spare.'
'How becoming,' cried Laura, as she fixed on the cap, 'I never saw you
look so well in any thing. Look at it;' and she held a looking-glass to
her aunt. The ill humour which had resisted the graces of the loveliest
face in the world, could not stand a favourable view of her own; and
Lady Pelham quitted Laura with a gracious compliment to her genius for
millinery, and a declaration, that the cap should be worn the next day,
in honour of a visit from Mr De Courcy and Harriet.
The next day the expected guests dined at Walbourne. As Harriet had just
returned from her excursion, this was the first time that she had seen
Laura, and the meeting gave them mutual pleasure. Harriet seemed in even
more than usual spirits; and Laura, roused by the presence of persons
whom she loved and respected, shewed a cheerfulness more unconstrained
than she had felt since her father's death. Montague, who watched her
assiduously, was enchanted to perceive that she could once more smile
without effort; and, in the joy of his heart, resumed a gaiety which had
of late been foreign to him. But the life of the party was Lady Pelham;
for who could be so delightful, so extravagantly entertaining as Lady
Pelham could be when she pleased? And she did please this afternoon; for
a train of fortunate circumstances had put her into high good humour.
She not only wore the becoming cap; but had hit, without difficulty, the
most becoming mode of putting it on. The cook had done her office in a
manner altogether faultless; and the gardener had brought in such a
sallad! its like had never been seen in the county.
Miss De Courcy was extremely anxious that Laura should pass a few days
at Norwood. But Laura, remembering the coolness which had of late
subsisted between herself and Lady Pelham, and unwilling to postpone her
endeavours to efface every trace of it, objected that she could not quit
her aunt for such a length of time. Harriet immediately proposed to
invite Lady Pelham.--'I'll set about it this instant, while she's in the
vein,' said she. 'This sunshine is too bright to last.' Laura looked
very grave, and Harriet hastened to execute her purpose. There is no
weakness of their neighbours which mankind so instinctively convert to
their own use as vanity. Except to secure Laura's company, Harriet had
not the slightest desire for Lady Pelham's. Yet she did not even name
her friend while she pressed Lady Pelham so earnestly to visit Norwood,
that she succeeded to her wish, and obtained a promise that the ladies
should accompany her and her brother home on the following day.
When at the close of an agreeable evening, Laura attended her friend to
her chamber, Harriet, with more sincerity than politeness, regretted
that Lady Pelham was to join their party to Norwood. 'I wish the old
lady would have allowed you to go without her,' said she. 'She'll
interrupt a thousand things I had to say to you. However, my mother can
keep her in conversation. She'll be so delighted to see you, that she'll
pay the penalty without a grudge.' 'I shall feel the more indebted to
your mother's welcome,' said Laura, with extreme gravity, 'because she
will extend it to a person to whom I owe obligations that cannot be
repaid.' Harriet, blushing, apologized for her freedom; and Laura
accepting the apology with smiles of courtesy and affection, the friends
separated for the night.
CHAPTER XXII
Norwood had appeared to Laura to be little more than a mile distant from
Walbourne. The swellings of the ground had deceived her. It was more
than twice that distance. As the carriage approached Norwood, Laura
perceived traces of a noble park, changed from its former purpose to one
more useful, though less magnificent. The corn fields were intermixed by
venerable avenues, and studded with gigantic elm and oak. Through one of
these avenues, straight as a dart, and darkened by the woods that closed
over it, the party drove up to a massive gate. In the door of a turreted
lodge, overgrown with hornbeam, stood the grey-haired porter, waiting
their arrival. He threw open the gate with one hand, and respectfully
stood with his hat in the other, while De Courcy checked his horse to
inquire for the old man's family.
The avenue now quitted its formality, to wind along the bank of a rapid
stream, till the woods suddenly opening to the right, discovered the
lawn, green as an emerald, and kept with a neatness truly English. A
variety of flowering shrubs were scattered over it, and here and there a
lofty forest-tree threw its quivering shadow; while tall spruce-firs,
their branches descending to the ground, formed a contrast to its
verdure. At the extremity of this lawn stood Norwood, a large
castellated building; and, while Laura looked on it, she imagined the
interior dull with baronial magnificence.
The carriage drove up to the door, and Laura could not helping smiling
at the cordial welcome that seemed to await De Courcy. The great
Newfoundland dog that lay upon the steps leapt upon him, and expressed
his joy by a hundred clumsy gambols; while John, the old servant whom
she had seen in Audley Street, busied himself about his master, with an
officiousness that evidently came from the heart, leaving Lady Pelham's
attendants to wait upon their mistress and her companions. De Courcy,
giving his hand to Lady Pelham, conducted her, followed by Harriet and
Laura, into the room where Mrs De Courcy was sitting; and the next
moment his heart throbbed with pleasure, while he saw the beloved of his
soul locked in his mother's arms.
When the first joy of the meeting was over, Laura had leisure to observe
the interior of the mansion, which differed not less from her
expectations than from any thing she had before seen. Though it was
equally remote from the humble simplicity of her cottage of Glenalbert,
and the gaudiness of Lady Pelham's more modern abode, she saw nothing of
the gloomy splendour which she had fancied; every thing breathed comfort
and repose. The furniture, though not without magnificence, was
unadorned and substantial, grandeur holding the second place to
usefulness. The marble hall through which she had entered, was almost
covered with matting. In the spacious room in which she was sitting, the
little Turkey carpet of our forefathers had given place to one of
homelier grain but far larger dimensions. The apartment was liberally
stored with couches, footstools, and elbow chairs. A harp occupied one
window, a piano-forte stood near it; many books were scattered about, in
bindings which shewed they were not meant for ornament: and in the
chimney blazed a fire which would have done credit to the days of
Elizabeth.
The dinner hour was four; and punctual to a moment the dinner appeared,
plain, neat, and substantial. It was served without tumult, partaken of
with appetite, and enlivened by general hilarity, and good will. When
the ladies rose from table, Harriet offered to conduct Laura through the
other apartments, which exactly corresponded with those she had seen.
The library was spacious; and besides an excellent collection of books,
contained globes, astronomical instruments, and cabinets of minerals and
coins. A smaller room which opened from it, used as De Courcy's
laboratory, was filled with chemical and mechanical apparatus. Comfort,
neatness, and peace reigned everywhere, and Norwood seemed a fit retreat
for literary leisure and easy hospitality.
Between music, work, and conversation, the evening passed away
cheerfully; nor did Laura mark its flight till the great house clock
struck nine. The conversation suddenly paused; Harriet laid aside her
work; Mrs De Courcy's countenance assumed a pleasing seriousness; and
Montague, quitting his place by Laura's side, seated himself in a
patriarchal-looking chair at the upper end of the room. Presently John
entered, followed by all the domestics of the family. He placed before
his master a reading desk and a large bible, and then sat down at a
distance with his fellow servants.
With a manner serious and earnest, as one impressed with a just sense of
their importance, Montague read a portion of the Holy Scriptures. He
closed the volume; and all present sunk upon their knees. In plain but
solemn language, he offered a petition in the name of all, that all
might be endowed with the graces of the Christian spirit. In the name of
all he confessed that they were unworthy of the blessings they implored.
In the name of all, he gave thanks for the means of improvement, and for
the hopes of glory. He next, more particularly, besought a blessing on
the circumstances of their several conditions. Among the joyous faces of
this happy household, Laura had observed one alone clouded with sorrow.
It was that of a young modest-looking girl in deep mourning, whose
audible sobs attested that she was the subject of a prayer which
commended an orphan to the Father of the fatherless. The worship was
closed; the servants withdrew. A silence of a few moments ensued; and
Laura could not help gazing with delight, not unmingled with awe, on the
traces of serene benevolence and manly piety, which lingered on the
countenance of De Courcy.
'Happy Harriet,' said she, when she was alone with her friend, 'Would
that I had been your sister!' Harriet laughed. 'You need not laugh, my
dear,' continued Laura, with most unembarrassed simplicity, 'I did not
mean your brother's wife, but his sister, and Mrs De Courcy's daughter.'
Though Miss De Courcy was much less in Montague's confidence than her
mother, she was not ignorant of his preference for Laura; but Mrs De
Courcy had so strongly cautioned her against even hinting this
preference to the object of it, that, though she but half guessed the
reasons of her mother's injunction, she was afraid to disobey. That
Laura was even acquainted with Hargrave was unknown to Harriet; for De
Courcy was almost as tenacious of Laura's secret as she herself was, and
would as soon have thought of giving up his own heart to the frolics of
a kitten, as of exposing that of Laura to the badinage of his sister.
This kind precaution left Laura perfectly at her ease with Harriet, an
ease which would quickly have vanished, had she known her to be
acquainted with her humiliating story.
The young ladies had rambled over half the grounds of Norwood before the
family had assembled at a cheerful breakfast; and as soon as it was
ended, Harriet proposed that Laura should assist her with her advice in
composing a water-colour drawing from one of her own pictures. 'We'll
leave Lady Pelham and my mother in possession of the drawing-room,' said
she, 'for the pictures all hang in the library. I wanted them put up in
the sitting-room, but Montague would have them where they are--and so he
carried his point, for mamma humours him in everything.' 'Perhaps,'
returned Laura, 'Mrs De Courcy thinks that he has some right to dictate
in his own house.' 'Well, that's true,' cried Harriet. 'I protest I had
forgotten that this house was not my mother's.'
The picture which Miss De Courcy had fixed upon, was that of Leonidas,
and Laura would far rather have been excused from interference; yet, as
she could not with propriety escape, nothing remained but to summon her
composure, and to study anew this resemblance of her unworthy lover. She
took her work, and began quietly to superintend Harriet's progress.
Their employments did not interrupt conversation; and though Laura's was
at first a little embarrassed, she soon recovered her ease. 'Do touch
the outline of the mouth for me,' said Harriet; 'I can't hit the
resemblance at all.' Laura excused herself, saying, that since her
fever, her hand had been unsteady. 'Oh, here's Montague; he'll do it.
Come hither Montague, and sketch a much prettier mouth than your own.'
De Courcy, who had approached his sister before he understood her
request, shrunk back. She could scarcely have proposed an employment
less agreeable to him; and he was hastily going to refuse it, when,
happening to meet the eye of Laura, in the dread that she should detect
his consciousness, he snatched the pencil and began.
Harriet having thus transferred her work, quickly found out other
occupation. 'Oh, by the by, my dear,' said she to Laura, 'your Leonidas
is the greatest likeness in the world of my old beau, Colonel Hargrave.
Bless me, how she blushes! Ah! I see Hargrave has not been so long in
Scotland for nothing!' 'Take away that thing, Harriet,' cried De Courcy,
quite thrown off his guard, and pushing the drawing from him. 'I see no
reason why everybody should do for you what you ought to be doing for
yourself.' 'Hey-day, what ails the man,' cried Harriet, looking after
her brother to the window, whither he had retreated. 'You need not be so
angry at me for making Laura blush. I dare say she likes it; it becomes
her so well.' 'If you are accustomed to say such strange things to your
friends, my dear Harriet,' said Laura, 'the blushes you raise will not
always have that advantage. The colourings of anger are not generally
becoming.' 'So, with that meek face of yours, you would have me believe
that it is downright rage that has made you all scarlet. No, no, my
dear--there is rage, and there is the colour of it, too, (pointing to
Montague's face); and if you'll put your two heads together before the
glass, you will see whether the colours are a bit alike!' Montague,
recovering his temper, tried to laugh, and succeeded very ill. 'I don't
wonder you laugh,' said Laura, not venturing to look round to him, 'at
hearing Harriet, on such slender grounds, exalt such a matter-of-fact
person as myself, into the heroine of a romance. But, to spare your
imagination, Harriet, I will tell you, that your old beau, as you call
him, being the handsomest man I had seen, I saw no harm in making use of
his beauty in my picture.' 'Well, I protest,' cried Harriet, 'it was
quite by accident I thought of mentioning it, for I had not the least
idea that ever you had seen Hargrave.' 'And, now that you have made that
mighty discovery,' said De Courcy, endeavouring to appear unconcerned,
'I suppose you'll poison Miss Montreville; for you know you were so in
love with Hargrave, that I was obliged to put a rail round the fish-pond
to prevent felo de se.' 'In love,' said Harriet, yawning, 'ay, so I
was indeed, for three whole days when I had nothing else to do. But only
think of the sly girl never even to name him to me! Well! well! I shall
worm it all out of her when we are by ourselves, though she won't blab
before you.' 'I will give you an opportunity this moment,' said De
Courcy, who, quite unable to bear the subject any longer, determined to
make his mother interrupt it, and immediately went in search of her. In
a few minutes Mrs De Courcy appeared, and dismissed her unwilling
daughter to escort Lady Pelham to the flower-garden, while Laura
preferred remaining at home.
At the next opportunity, Harriet executed her threat, in so far as
depended upon her. She did what she could to rally Laura out of her
secret, but she totally failed of success. Laura, now upon her guard,
not only evaded making any discovery, but, by the easy indifference of
her answers, convinced Harriet that there was nothing to discover.
Indeed, her suspicion was merely a transient thought, arising from
Laura's confusion at her sudden attack, and scarcely outlived the moment
that gave it birth; though the emotion which Montague had shewn,
confirmed his sister in the belief of his attachment to Laura.
The subject thus entirely dropped which Laura could never approach
without pain, the time of her visit to Norwood glided away in peace and
comfort, every day lessening the dejection which she had believed, nay
almost wished, would follow her to the grave. Still, however, the traces
of it were sufficiently visible to the observant eye of love; and
Montague found in it an interest not to be awakened by the brightest
flashes of gaiety. 'There is a charm inexpressible in her sadness,' said
he to Mrs De Courcy. 'I think,' said Mrs De Courcy, 'I can observe that
that charm is decaying. I think, if it should entirely disappear before
your fates are more closely united, you need not lament its departure.
These cypresses look graceful bending over the urn there in the vista,
but I should not like them to darken the sitting-room.'
The only habit, common to love-lorn damsels, in which Laura indulged,
was that of preferring solitary rambles; a habit, however, which had
been imbibed long before she had any title to that character. Delighted
with the environs of Norwood, she sometimes wandered beyond the dressed
ground into the park, where art still embellished without restraining
nature. The park might, indeed, have better deserved the name of an
ornamented farm; for the lawns were here and there diversified by
cornfields, and enlivened by the habitations of the labourers necessary
to the agriculturist. These cottages, banished by fashion far from every
lordly residence, were contrived so as to unite beauty with usefulness;
they gave added interest to the landscape even to the eye of a stranger,
but far more to that of De Courcy, for he knew that every one of them
contained useful hands or graceful hearts; youth for whom he provided
employment, or age whose past services he repaid. Here the blue smoke
curled from amidst the thicket; there the white wall enlivened the
meadow; here the casement flashed bright with the setting sun; there the
woodbine and the creeping rose softened the colouring that would have
glared on the eye.
Laura had followed the windings of a little green lane, till the woods
which darkened it suddenly opened into a small field, sheltered by them
on every side, which seemed to form the territory of a cottage of
singular neatness and beauty. In a porch covered with honeysuckle, which
led through a flower-garden to the house, a lovely little boy about
three years old was playing with De Courcy's great Newfoundland dog. The
child was stretching on tiptoe to hug with one arm the neck of his
rough companion; while, with the other hand, he was playfully offering
the animal a bit of bread, and then snatching it in sport away. Neptune,
not used to be so tantalized, made a catch at his prey; but the child
succeeded in preserving his prize, and, laughing, hid it behind him. The
next moment Laura saw the dog throw him down, and heard a piercing cry.
Fearless of personal danger, she ran to his assistance. The child was
lying motionless on his face; while, with one huge paw laid on his back,
Neptune was standing over him, wagging his tail in triumph. Convinced
that the child was unhurt, and that the scream had been caused merely by
fear, Laura spoke to the dog, who immediately quitted his posture to
fawn upon her. She lifted the child from the ground and carried him
towards the cottage. The poor little fellow, pale with terror, clung
round her neck; but he no sooner saw himself in safety, than, recovering
his suspended faculties, he began to roar with all his might. His cries
reached the people in the house, who hastened to inquire into their
cause; and Laura was met in the door of the cottage by De Courcy's
grey-haired servant, John, who seemed its owner, and a decent old woman,
who was his wife.
Laura prefaced her account of the accident by an assurance that the
child was not hurt, and the old woman, taking him in her arms, tried to
sooth him, while John invited Miss Montreville to enter. She followed
him into a room, which, unacquainted as she was with the cleanliness of
the English cottages, appeared to her quite Arcadian. While Margaret was
busy with her little charge, Laura praised the neatness and comfort of
John's abode. 'It is as snug a place as heart can desire, please you,
Ma'am,' answered John, visibly gratified; 'and we have every thing here
as convenient as in the king's palace, or as my master himself has, for
the matter of that.' 'I thought, John, you had lived in Mr De Courcy's
house,' said Laura. 'Yes, please you, Ma'am, and so I did, since I was a
little fellow no higher than my knee, taken in to run messages, till my
young master came of age, and then he built this house for me, that I
might just have it to go to when I pleased, without being turned away
like; for he knew old folks liked to have a home of their own. So now,
of a fine evening, I come home after prayers, and stay all night; and
when it's bad weather, I have the same bed as I have had these forty
years; not a penny worse than my master's own.' 'And if you are employed
all day at Norwood,' said Laura, 'how do you contrive to keep your
garden in such nice order?' 'Oh! for the matter of that, Ma'am, my
master would not grudge me a day's work of the under gardener any time;
no, nor to pay a man to work the little patch for me; but only, as he
says, the sweetest flowers are of one's own planting, so, of a fine day
he often sends me home for an hour or two in the cool, just to put the
little place in order.' 'Mr De Courcy seems attentive to the comfort of
every body that comes near him,' said Laura. 'That he is, Madam; one
would think he had an affection, like, for every mortal creature, and
particularly when they grow old and useless, like me and Margaret. I
know who offered him twenty pounds a-year for this house and the bit of
field; but he said old folks did not like moving, and he would not put
us out of this, even though he could give us one twice as good.' 'And
your rent is lower than twenty pounds, I suppose?' said Laura. 'Why
sure, Ma'am, we never pay a penny for it. My master,' said John, drawing
up his head, and advancing his chest, 'my master has the proper true
spirit of a gentleman, and he had it since ever he was born; for it's
bred in the bone with him, as the saying is. Why, Ma'am, he had it from
a child.--I have seen him, when he was less than that boy there, give
away his dinner when he was as hungry as a hound, just because a beggar
asked it.--Ay, I remember, one day, just two-and-twenty years ago come
July, that he was sitting at the door on my knee, eating his breakfast,
and he had asked it half a dozen times from Mrs Martin, for he was very
hungry; and she did not always attend to him very well. So, up came a
woman leading a little ragged creature; and it looked at Master
Montague's bread and milk, and said, 'I wish I had some too.' So, says
my master, "here take you some, and I'll take what you leave."--Well,
Ma'am, the brat snapped it up all in a trice, and I waited to see what
little master would do.--Well, he just laughed as good naturedly! Then I
was going to have got him another breakfast, but my Lady would not let
me. "No, No, John!" said my Lady, "we must teach Montague the connection
between generosity and self-denial."--These were my Lady's very words.'
By this time Margaret had succeeded in quieting the child; and a double
allowance of bread and butter restored all his gaiety. 'Come, Nep,' said
he, squatting himself on the ground where Neptune was lying at Laura's
feet; 'come, Nep, I'll make friends; and there's half for you, Henry's
own dear Nep.' 'Will you sit upon my knee?' said Laura, who was
extremely fond of children. The boy looked steadily in her face for a
few moments, and then holding out his arms to her, said, 'Yes, I will.'
'Whose charming child is this?' inquired Laura, twisting his golden
ringlets round her fingers. The colour rose to old Margaret's furrowed
cheek as she answered, 'He is an orphan, Ma'am.'--'He is our grandson,'
said John, and drew his hand across his eyes. Laura saw that the subject
was painful, and she inquired no further. She remained for a while
playing with little Henry, and listening to John's praises of his
master; and then returned homewards.
She was met by De Courcy and Harriet, who were coming in search of her.
She related her little adventure, and praised the extraordinary beauty
of the child. 'Oh, that's Montague's proteg!' cried Harriet. 'By the by
he has not been to visit us since you came; I believe he was never so
long absent before since he could see. I have a great notion my brother
did not want to produce him to you.'--'To me!' exclaimed Laura in
surprise; 'Why not?' But receiving no answer from Harriet, who had been
effectually silenced by a look from De Courcy, she turned for
explanation to Montague; who made an awkward attempt to laugh off his
sister's attack, and then as awkwardly changed the subject.
For some minutes Laura gravely and silently endeavoured to account for
his behaviour. 'His generosity supports this child,' thought she, 'and
he is superior to blazoning his charity.' So having, as great
philosophers have done, explained the facts to agree with her theory,
she was perfectly satisfied, and examined them no more. Association
carrying her thoughts to the contemplation of the happiness which De
Courcy seemed to diffuse through every circle where he moved, she
regretted that she was so soon to exchange the enjoyment of equable
unobtrusive kindness, for starts of officious fondness mingling with
intervals of cold neglect or peevish importunity.
'Norwood is the Eden of the earth,' said she to Harriet, as they drew
their chairs towards the fire, to enjoy a tte  tte after the family
were retired for the night; 'and it is peopled with spirits fit for
paradise.--Happy you, who need never think of leaving it!' 'Bless you,
my dear,' cried Harriet, 'there is nothing I think of half so much.--You
would not have me be an old maid to comb lapdogs and fatten cats, when I
might be scolding my own maids and whipping my own children.' 'Really,'
said Laura, 'I think you would purchase even these delightful
recreations too dearly by the loss of your present society. Sure it were
a mad venture to change such a blessing for any uncertainty!' 'And yet,
Mrs Graveairs, I have a notion that a certain gallant soldier could
inspire you with the needful daring.--Now, look me in the face, and deny
it if you can.' Laura did as she was desired; and, with cheeks flushed
to crimson, but a voice of sweet austere composure, replied, 'Indeed,
Miss De Courcy, I am hurt that you should so often have taxed me, even
in sport, with so discreditable a partiality. You cannot be serious in
supposing that I would marry an'--adulterer, Laura would have said; but
to apply such an epithet to Hargrave was too much for human firmness,
and she stopped. 'I declare she is angry,' cried Harriet. 'Well, my
dear, since it displeases you, I shan't tease you any more; at least not
till I find a new subject. But, pray now, do you intend to practise as
you preach. Have you made a vow never to marry?' 'I do not say so,'
answered Laura; 'it is silly to assert resolutions which nobody credits.
Besides my situation sadly differs from yours. Like the moon, that is
rising yonder, I must pursue my course alone. Thousands around me might
perhaps warm and enlighten me; but far distant, their influence is lost
ere it reaches me. You are in the midst of a happy family, endeared to
you by all that is lovely in virtue; all that is sacred in kindred.--I
know not what would tempt me to resign your situation.'--'What would
tempt you?' cried Harriet. 'Why a pretty fellow would. But I verily
believe you have been taking your cue from Montague; these are precisely
his ideas. I think he has set his heart upon making me lead apes.' 'What
makes you think so?' inquired Laura. 'Because he finds out a hundred
faults to every man that talks nonsense to me. One is poor; and he
thinks it folly to marry a beggar. Another is old, though he's rich; and
that would be downrightly selling myself. One's a fool, and t'other's
cross; and in short there's no end to his freaks. Only the other day he
made me dismiss a creature that I believe I should have liked well
enough in time. I have not half forgiven him for it yet. Poor
Wilmot--and I should have had a nice barouche too!' 'What could possibly
weigh with your brother against the barouche?' said Laura, smiling.
'Why, my dear, the saucy wretch told me, as plainly as he civilly could,
that Wilmot and I had not a grain of prudence between us; ergo, that we
should be ridiculous and miserable. Besides, poor Wilmot once persuaded
a pretty girl to play the fool; and though he afterwards did every thing
he could to prevail on her to be made an honest woman, the silly thing
chose rather to break her heart and die; and, ever since, poor Wilmot
has been subject to fits of low spirits.' 'Is it possible, Harriet, that
you can talk so lightly of a crime so black in its nature, so dreadful
in its consequences: Can it seem a trifle to you to destroy the peace,
the innocence of a fellow-creature? Can you smile at remorse that
pursued its victim even to the grave?' Tears filled the eyes of Harriet.
'Oh no, my dearest,' she cried, throwing her arms round Laura's neck;
'do not think so hardly of me.--I am a rattle, it is true, but I am not
unprincipled.'--'Pardon my injustice, dearest Harriet,' said Laura, 'in
believing, even for a moment, that you were capable of such perversion;
and join with me in rejoicing that your brother's influence has saved
you from witnessing, from sharing, the pangs of unavailing repentance.'
'Indeed,' said Harriet, 'Montague's influence can do any thing with me;
and no wonder. I should be the most ungrateful wretch on earth if I
could oppose his wishes. I cannot tell you the thousandth part of the
affection he has shewn me. Did you ever hear, my dear, that my father
had it not in his power to make any provision for me?' Laura answered
that she had never heard the circumstances of the family at all
mentioned. 'Do you know,' continued Harriet, 'I am certain that Montague
is averse to my marrying, because he is afraid that my poverty, and not
my will, consents. But he has himself set that matter to rest; for the
very morning after I gave Wilmot his cong, Montague presented me with
bills for two thousand pounds. The generous fellow told me that he did
not offer his gift while Wilmot's suit was pending, lest I should think
he bought a right to influence my decision.' 'This is just what I should
have expected from Mr De Courcy,' said Laura, the purest satisfaction
beaming in her countenance. 'He is ever considerate, ever generous.' 'To
tell you that he gives me money,' cried Harriet, rapturously, 'is
nothing; he gives me his time, his labour, his affection. Do love him,
dear Laura! He is the best of all creatures!' 'Indeed I believe it,'
said Laura, 'and I have the most cordial regard for him.'--'Ah but you
must'--Harriet's gratitude to her brother had very nearly been too
strong for his secret, and she was on the point of petitioning Laura to
return a sentiment warmer than cordial regard, when, recollecting her
mother's commands, she desisted; and to fly from the temptation, wished
Laura good night, and retired.
It was with sincere regret that Laura, the next day, took leave of her
kind hosts. As De Courcy handed her into the carriage, the tears were
rising to her eyes: but they were checked by a glance from Lady Pelham,
in which Laura thought she could read mingled scorn and anger. Lady
Pelham had remarked the improved spirits of her niece; but, instead of
rejoicing that any medicine should have 'ministered to a mind diseased,'
she was offended at the success of a remedy applied by any other than
herself. She was nettled at perceiving that the unobtrusive seriousness
of Mrs De Courcy, and the rattling gaiety of Harriet, had effected what
all her brilliant powers had not achieved. Her powers, indeed, had been
sometimes directed to entertain, but never to console; they had been
exerted to purchase admiration, not to win confidence; yet, with a
common perverseness, she was angry at their ill success, not sorry for
their wrong direction. She did not consider, that real benevolence, or
an excellent counterfeit, is the only road to an unadulterated heart. It
appeared to her a proof of an ungrateful temper in her niece, that she
should yield in so short a time to strangers to whom she owed nothing,
what she refused to a relation to whom she owed so much. She had been
unable to forbear from venting her spleen in little spiteful remarks,
and sly stings, sometimes so adroitly given, that they were unobserved,
except by the person who was by degrees becoming accustomed to expect
them. The presence of the De Courcy family, however, restrained the
expression of Lady Pelham's ill humour; and, as she detested restraint,
(a detestation which she always ascribed to a noble ingenuousness of
mind), she nestled, with peculiar complacency, into the corner of the
carriage which was to convey her to what she called freedom, namely, the
liberty to infringe, with impunity, the rights of others. Laura felt
that her reluctance to quit Norwood was a bad compliment to her aunt,
and she called a smile to her face as she kissed her hand to her kind
friends; yet the contrast between their affectionate looks, and the
'lurking devil' in Lady Pelham's eye, did not lessen her regret at the
exchange she was making.
Lady Pelham saw the tone of Laura's mind, and she immediately struck up
a discord. 'Heaven be praised,' she cried, 'we have at last escaped out
of that stupid place! I think it must be something extraordinary that
tempts me to spend four days there again.' Laura remained silent; for
she disliked direct contradiction, and never spoke what she did not
think. Lady Pelham continued her harangue, declaring, 'that your good
sort of people were always intolerably tiresome; that clock-work
regularity was the dullest thing in nature; that Norwood was another
cave of Trophonius; Mrs De Courcy inspired with the soul of a starched
old maid; Harriet animated by the joint spirit of a magpie and a monkey;
and Montague by that of a methodist parson.' Finally, she again
congratulated herself on her escape from such society, and wondered how
any body could submit to it without hanging himself. Laura was
accustomed to support Lady Pelham's attacks upon herself with perfect
equanimity; but her temper was not proof against this unjust, this
unexpected philippic against her friends; and she reddened with anger
and disdain, though she had still so much self-command as to reply only,
'Your Ladyship is fortunate in being able to lose, without regret, what
others find it so difficult to replace.'
Lady Pelham fully understood the emphasis which was laid on the word
others, but the mortification to her vanity was compensated by the
triumph of discovering the vulnerable side of her niece's temper. This
was the first time that she had been conscious of power over it, and
severely did Laura pay for the momentary negligence which had betrayed
the secret. Some persons never feel pleasure without endeavouring to
communicate it. Lady Pelham acted upon the converse of this amiable
principle; and, as an ill-regulated mind furnished constant sources of
pain, a new channel of participation was a precious discovery. As often,
therefore, as spleen, jealousy, or malice prompted her to annoyance, she
had recourse henceforth to this new-found weapon; and she varied her
warfare through all the changes of hints, insinuations, and that mode of
attack the most provoking of all, which, aiming at no particular point,
becomes the more difficult to parry. During several months, she made it
the occasional instrument of her vengeance for the jealousy which she
entertained of Laura's increasing intimacy with the De Courcys; an
intimacy which she chose to embitter, though she could not break it off,
without depriving herself of acquaintances who were visited by the first
people in the county.
Her industry in teazing was not confined to Laura. She inflicted a
double stroke, by the petulance or coldness with which she sometimes
treated the De Courcys. But though Laura was keenly sensible to these
petty wrongs done her friends, the injury passed them over without much
notice. Harriet repaid them with laughter or sarcasm; while Montague
seemed to consider them as wholly unworthy of attention. He continued
his visits to Walbourne, and accident at last furnished an excuse for
their frequency.
In the course of Lady Pelham's improvements, a difficulty chanced to
occur, which a slight knowledge of the elements of mathematics would
have enabled her to solve. To supply the want of this knowledge, she had
recourse to Mr De Courcy, who removed her perplexity with the ease of
one conversant with his subject, and the accuracy of one who speaks to a
reasoning creature. Lady Pelham was charmed! She was convinced that 'of
all studies that of mathematics must be the most delightful. She
imagined it might not be quite impracticable even for a lady, supposing
she were so fortunate as to meet with a friend who could assist her.' De
Courcy, laughing, offered his services, not, it must be owned, with any
idea that they would be accepted. Her Ladyship, however, eagerly
embraced the offer; for she was little accustomed to forecast the
difficulties of any scheme that entered her brain. In this triumphant
expectation that all difficulty would yield to her acuteness, and her
brighter abilities gain in a comparison with the plain good-sense of her
niece, she obliged Laura to join her in this new pursuit. Upon the study
of this science, so little in favour with a sex who reserve cultivation
for faculties where it is least wanting, Laura entered with a pleasure
that surprised herself, and she persevered in it with an industry that
astonished her teacher. Lady Pelham was, for a little while, the
companion of her labours; but, at the first difficulty, she took offence
at the unaccommodating thing, which shewed no more indulgence to female
than to royal indolence.--Forthwith she was fired with a strong aversion
to philosophers in bibs, and a horror at she-pedants, a term of reproach
which a dexterous side-glance could appropriate to her niece, though the
author of those memoirs challenges any mortal to say that ever Laura
Montreville was heard to mention ellipse or parabola, or to insinuate
her acquaintance with the properties of circle or polygon. Nothing moved
by Lady Pelham's sneers, Laura continued her studies, impelled partly by
the duty of improving the most valuable faculty of an immortal mind,
partly by the pleasure which she derived from the study itself. It is
true, that her Ladyship's indiscreet use of the secret, made Laura's
labours the cause of much merriment to titterers of both sexes; but we
have never discovered that De Courcy esteemed her the less for her
persevering industry, or loved her the less for this new subject of
mutual interest. He watched with delight the restoration of her mind to
its full vigour; and as he had never known her in the blaze of youthful
gaiety, he was scarcely sensible of the shade which blended the radiance
of her mid-day of life with the sober tints of evening.
The impression of her early disappointment was indeed indelible, but it
was no longer overwhelming. She had given the reins to her
imagination--it had fatally misled her; but its power had sustained an
irrecoverable shock, and the sway was transferred to reason. She had
dreamed of an earthly heaven, and seen that it was but a dream. All her
earthly joys had vanished--yet misery had been almost as transient as
delight, and she learned the practical use of a truth which all
acknowledge in theory. In the course of four months residence at
Walbourne, she recovered a placid cheerfulness, which afterwards
continued to be the habitual tenor of her mind. If she looked forward to
the future events of her life, it was to resolve that they should be
subservient to the great end of her being. If she glanced backward, it
was less to lament her disappointment, than to blame the error which had
led to it; and she never allowed her thoughts to dwell upon her unworthy
lover, except when praying that he might be awakened to a sense of his
guilt.
She was chiefly concerned to improve and to enjoy the present; and in
this she was successful in spite of the peevish humours of Lady Pelham,
mixed occasionally with ebullitions of rage. Those who are furious where
they dare, or when the provocation is sufficient to rouse their courage,
sometimes chide with impotent perseverance where they are awed from the
full expression of their fury: as the sea, which the lightest breeze
dashes in billows over the sandbank, frets in puny ripples against the
rock that frowns over it. If Lady Pelham's temper had any resemblance to
this stormy element, it was not wholly void of likeness to another--for
it 'changed as it listed,' without any discoverable reason. It would
have lost half its power to provoke, and Laura half the merit of her
patient endurance, if it had been permanently diabolical. The current,
not only serene but sparkling, would reflect with added beauty every
surrounding object, then would suddenly burst into foam, or settle into
a stagnant marsh. Laura threw oil upon the torrent, and suffered the
marsh to clear itself. She enjoyed Lady Pelham's wit and vivacity in her
hours of good humour, and patiently submitted to her seasons of low
spirits, as she complaisantly called them.
Laura at last, undesignedly, opened a new direction to her aunt's
spleen. From her first introduction to Lady Pelham, she had laboured
assiduously to promote a reconciliation between her aunt and her
daughter, Mrs Herbert. Her zeal appeared surprising to Lady Pelham, who
could not estimate the force of her motive for thus labouring, to the
manifest detriment of her own interest, she being (after Mrs Herbert)
the natural heiress of her aunt's fortune. She had seized the moment of
complacency; watched the relentings of nature; by turns tried to sooth
and to convince; and, in the proper spirit of a peace-maker, adhered to
her purpose with meek perseverance. According to the humour of the
hour, Lady Pelham was alternately flattered by solicitations that
confessed her power, or rendered peevish by entreaties which she was
determined to reject, or fired to rage by the recollection of her
wrongs. If the more placid frame prevailed, she could ring eternal
changes on the same oft-refuted arguments, or adroitly shift the subject
by some lively sally of wit, or some neat compliment to her niece. In
her more stormy tempers, she would profess a total inability to pardon;
nay, a determination never to attempt it; and took credit for scorning
to pretend a forgiveness which she could not practise.
Still Laura was not discouraged: for she had often observed that what
Lady Pelham declared on one day to be wholly impossible, on the next
became, without any assignable reason, the easiest thing in nature; and
that what to-day no human force could wrest from her, was yielded
to-morrow to no force at all. She therefore persisted in her work of
conciliation; and her efforts at last prevailed so far, that, though
Lady Pelham still protested implacability, she acknowledged, that, as
there was no necessity for her family feuds being known to the world,
she was willing to appear upon decent terms with the Herberts; and, for
that purpose, would receive them for a few weeks at Walbourne.
Of this opening, unpromising as it was, Laura instantly availed herself;
and wrote to convey the frozen invitation to her cousin, in the kindest
language which she was permitted to use. It was instantly accepted; and
Mrs Herbert and her husband became the inmates of Walbourne.
Mrs Herbert had no resemblance to her mother. Her countenance was grave
and thoughtful; her manners uniformly cold and repulsive. Laura traced
in her unbending reserve, the apathy of one whose genial feelings had
been blunted by early unkindness. Frank, high-spirited, and imprudent,
Herbert was his wife's opposite; and Laura had not been half an hour in
his company, before she began to tremble for the effects of these
qualities on the irascible temper of her aunt. But her alarm seemed
causeless; for the easy resoluteness with which he maintained his
opinions, appeared to extort from Lady Pelham a sort of respect; and,
though she privately complained to Laura of what she called his
assurance, she exempted him, while present, from her attacks, seeming
afraid to exert upon him her skill in provoking. Laura began to
perceive, that a termagant is not so untameable an animal as she had
once imagined, since one glimpse of the master-spirit is of sovereign
power to lay the lesser imps of spleen. But though Lady Pelham seemed
afraid to measure her strength with spirits of kindred irascibility, she
was under no restraint with Mrs Herbert, upon whom she vented a degree
of querulousness that appeared less like the ebullitions of ill-temper,
than the overflowings of settled malice. Every motion, every look,
furnished matter of censure or of sarcasm. The placing of a book, the
pronunciation of a word, the snuffing of a candle, called forth
reprehension; and Laura knew not whether to be most astonished at the
ingenious malice which contrived to convert 'trifles light as air,' into
certain proofs of degeneracy, or at the apathy on which the venomed
shaft fell harmless. Mrs Herbert received all her mother's reprimands in
silence, without moving a muscle, without announcing, by the slightest
change of colour, that the sarcasm had reached further than her ear. If,
as not unfrequently happened, the reproof extended into a harangue, Mrs
Herbert unmoved withdrew no part of her attention from her netting, but
politely suppressed a yawn.
These discourteous scenes were exhibited only in Mr Herbert's absence;
his presence instantly suspended Lady Pelham's warfare; and Laura
inferred that his wife never made him acquainted with her mother's
behaviour. That behaviour formed an exception to the general
unsteadiness of Lady Pelham; for to Mrs Herbert she was consistently
cruel and insulting. Nothing could be more tormenting to the benevolent
mind of Laura, than to witness this system of aggression; and she
repented having been instrumental in renewing an intercourse that could
lead to no pleasing issue.
But the issue was nearer than she expected. One day, in Herbert's
absence, Lady Pelham began to discuss with his wife, or rather to her,
the never-failing subject of her duplicity and disobedience. She was not
interrupted by any expression of regret or repentance from the culprit,
who maintained a stoical silence, labouring the while to convey
mathematical precision to the crimping of a baby's cap, an employment
upon which Lady Pelham seemed to look with peculiar abhorrence. From the
turpitude of her daughter's conduct, she proceeded to its consequences.
She knew no right, she said, that people had to encumber their friends
with hosts of beggarly brats. She vowed that none such should ever
receive her countenance or protection. Her rage kindled as she spoke.
She inveighed against Mrs Herbert's insensibility; and at last talked
herself into such a pitch of fury, as even to abuse her for submitting
to the company of one who could not conceal detestation of her;--a want
of spirit which she directly attributed to the most interested
views;--views which, however, she absolutely swore that she would
defeat. In the energy of her declamation, she did not perceive that
Herbert had entered the room, and stood listening to her concluding
sentences, with a face of angry astonishment. Advancing towards his
wife, he indignantly inquired the meaning of the tumult. 'Nothing,'
answered she, calmly surveying her handywork; 'only my mother is a
little angry, but I have not spoken a word.' He then turned for
explanation to Lady Pelham, whom the flashing of his eye reduced to
instantaneous quiet; and, not finding, in her stammering abstract of the
conversation, any apology for the insult which he had heard, he took his
wife by the arm, and instantly left the house, giving orders that his
baggage should follow him to a little inn in the neighbouring village.
Thus did the insolence of one person, and the hasty spirit of another,
undo what Laura had for months been labouring to effect. The Herberts
never made any attempt at reconciliation, and Lady Pelham would never
afterwards hear them mentioned, without breaking out into torrents of
abuse, and even imprecation, which made Laura's blood run cold. Yet,
with her usual inconsistency, Lady Pelham was vexed at the suspension of
her intercourse with the Herberts; because she thus lost even the shadow
of power over her daughter. Not that she acknowledged this cause of
regret. No! she eloquently bewailed her hard fate, in being exposed to
the censure of the world as at variance with her nearest relatives. She
complained that, with a heart 'warm as melting charity,' she had no one
to love or to cherish. Yet Laura could not always forbear smiling at the
perverse direction of her aunt's regrets. Lady Pelham was angry, not
that her own unkindness had driven her children from her, but that
Laura's officious benevolence had brought them to her house; a measure
from which, she was pleased to say that no person of common sense could
have expected a different issue.
CHAPTER XXIII
If Lady Pelham repined at the desertion of the Herberts, it was not
because their departure consigned her to solitude. Never had Walbourne
attracted so many visitors. Lady Pelham's beautiful niece drew thither
all the gentlemen of the neighbourhood. The ladies followed them of
course. The beauty and modesty of Laura charmed the men, while the women
were half-inclined to think it an unfounded slander that such a
good-natured, obliging, neat-handed creature studied mathematics, and
read Tacitus in the original.
Among the society to which she was introduced by Lady Pelham, and still
more among that in which she mingled at Norwood, Laura met with persons
of distinguished ability, rank, and politeness. In such company she
rapidly acquired that ease of address which alone was wanting to make
her manners as fascinating as they were correct. She grew accustomed to
find herself the object of attention, and though no habit could
reconcile her to the gaze of numbers, she gradually learnt to carry into
these lesser occasions, the self-command which distinguished her in more
important concerns. In real modesty and humility she improved every day;
for it was the study of her life to improve in them. She retained all
the timidity which is the fruit of genuine sensibility and quick
perception of impropriety, while she lost that bashfulness which owes
its growth to solitude and inexperience. Her personal charms, too,
increased as they approached maturity. The symmetry of her form and
features was indeed scarcely susceptible of improvement; but added
gracefulness gave new attractions to her figure; while the soul lent its
improving strength and brightness to animate her face with charms which
mere symmetry knows not.
With such qualifications Laura could not fail to excite admiration; yet
never perhaps did beauty so seldom listen to its own praises. It was
labour lost to compliment one who never rewarded the flatterer with one
smile of gratified vanity, or repaid him with one complaisant departure
from the simple truth. To the everyday nothings of the common herd she
listened with a weariness which politeness could sometimes scarcely
suppress. 'Oh would,' thought she, 'that civil nothings, as they are
called, required no answer,--or that one obliging gentleman would
undertake the labour of replying to the rest!' If addressed in the
language of common-place compliment by one whom she respected, her look
of mortification intelligibly said, 'Has then your penetration searched
me deeper than I know myself, and detected in me the more than childish
weakness of valuing myself on such distinctions as those you are
praising?'
Laura had no personal vanity; and therefore it required no effort to
withstand such praise. She had more merit in the more strenuous but less
successful exertions which she made to resist the silent flattery of the
respectful glance that awaited her decision, besought her approbation,
or reflected her sentiments. Sometimes she thought Montague De Courcy an
adept in this sort of flattery. But more frequently, when administered
by him, she forgot to call it by that name; and she was the less upon
her guard against his homage, because it was never offered in any more
palpable form.
Fortified by the advice of his mother, who had convinced him that a
premature disclosure of his sentiments would be fatal to his hopes, and
aware, that were he even successful with Laura, some further provision
must be made for his sister, ere he could with justice increase the
expence of his household, he acted with such caution as baffled the
penetration of common observers. The neighbouring tea-tables were rather
inclined to consign his affections to a lively young heiress, whose
estate had formerly been dismembered from that of Norwood; for he had
flirted with her at a review, and danced with her at the county ball.
Moreover, the charitable declared, 'that if he was backward it was not
for want of encouragement, that Miss allowed herself strange liberties;
though, to be sure, heiresses might do any thing.'
In spite of the lynx eye in detecting embryo passion, which is ascribed
to the sex, Montague's secret was safe even from Laura herself; or if a
momentary suspicion had glanced across her mind, she chid it away with
self accusations of vanity, and recollections of the ten thousand
opportunities for a declaration which he had suffered to pass
unimproved. Besides, Mrs De Courcy had once hinted that Montague's
little fits of melancholy and absence were occasioned by his partiality
for a lady whose affections were pre-engaged, and Laura was sure that
the hint could not refer to herself. Her humiliating secret, she was
thankful, was safely lodged in her own breast, and could never be
divulged to cover her with mortification.
That which any effort of imagination can ascribe to the influence of
Cupid, no woman ever attributed to any other power; and if, at any time,
a shade crossed the open countenance of Montague, Laura called to mind
his mother's hint, and added to her truly sisterly affection a pity
which lent indescribable softness to her manners towards him. Indeed she
always treated him with undisguised regard, and Montague tried to be
satisfied. Yet he could not help longing to read, in some inadvertent
glance, a proof that all the heart was not freely shewn. In vain!--the
heart was open as the day; and all was there that could delight the
friend, but nothing that could satisfy the lover.
He had, however, none of the temptations of jealousy to betray his
secret, for his rivals were neither numerous nor formidable. Laura was
known to have no fortune; she had little talent for chit chat, and still
less for flattery; thus amid universal admiration and general good-will,
she had only two professed adorers--one, who haunted her while present,
toasted her when absent, and raved of her charms, both in prose and
rhime, without ever suffering his pretensions to become so serious as to
afford her a pretext for seriously repulsing them--the other, a prudent
elderly widower, who, being possessed of a good fortune, and a
full-grown daughter, thought himself entitled to consult his taste
without regard to pecuniary views, and conceived that Laura might be
useful to the young lady in the double capacities of companion and
example. Laura's answer to his proposals was a firm but gentle refusal,
while she assured him, that she would not abuse his confidence nor
betray the trust he had reposed in her. Elderly gentlemen are seldom
inclined to publish a repulse. The widower never mentioned his even to
Lady Pelham; and Laura, on this occasion, owed to her principle an
escape from many a tedious remonstrance, and many a covert attack.
The summer had almost glided away, and Montague continued to fluctuate
between hope and fear, his mother to cherish his hopes and allay his
apprehensions, Laura to be tranquil, Harriet to be gay, and Lady Pelham
to exhibit, by turns, every various degree of every various humour, when
one morning Miss De Courcy, who had lately returned from a visit to a
companion, accompanied her brother on horseback to Walbourne. Lady
Pelham was, as usual, engaged in her garden, but the visitors had no
sooner entered the room where Laura sat, then she observed that they
seemed to have exchanged characters. Harriet looked almost thoughtful,
while the countenance of De Courcy sparkled with unusual animation. He
was gay even to restlessness. He offered to give Laura her lesson in
mathematics; and before it was half over, having completely bewildered
both himself and his pupil, he tossed away the book, declaring that he
never in his life was so little fit for thinking. Pleasure spoke in
every tone of his voice, or sported in his eye when he was silent.
After a short visit, enlivened by a hilarity which Laura found more
infectious than the gravity of Harriet, he proposed leaving his sister
with her friend, while he rode on to call for a gentleman in the
neighbourhood. 'Begone, then,' cried Laura, gaily, 'for I long to
question Harriet what has given you such enviable spirits this morning.'
'Ah, she must not betray me,' said De Courcy, half smiling, half
sighing, 'or I forfeit my only chance of being remembered when I am out
of sight. If she can be silent, curiosity may perhaps befriend me.' 'How
very humble!' cried Laura,--'as if curiosity were the only name you
could find for the interest I take in what makes you gay, or Harriet
grave!' 'Dear Laura,' said De Courcy, ardently, 'give the cause what
name you will, if you will but think of me.' Then snatching her lily
hands, he pressed them to his lips, and the next moment was gone.
Confused, surprised, a little displeased, Laura stood silently revolving
his behaviour. He had never before made the slightest approach to
personal familiarity. Had her frankness invited the freedom? 'Dear
Laura!' It was the first time he had ever called her by any name less
respectful than Miss Montreville. 'Well, and what then--it were mere
prudery to be displeased at such a trifle. What,' thought she, 'can have
delighted him so much? Perhaps the lady is kind at last. He need not,
however, have vented his transports upon me.' And Laura was a little
more angry than before.
During her cogitation, Laura forgot that she might apply to her
companion for a solution of the mystery; perhaps she did not even
recollect that Harriet was in the room, till happening to turn her head,
she met a glance of sly inquisition, which, however, was instantly
withdrawn. Harriet made no comment on the subject of her observation.
'The man is as much elated,' cried she, 'as if I were five-and-forty,
and had never had a lover before.'
'You, my dear Harriet,' exclaimed Laura, instantly recovering her good
humour, 'is it a conquest of yours that has pleased Mr De Courcy so
much?' 'Even so,' returned Harriet--'Heigho!'
'I congratulate you: and yet it does not seem to delight you quite so
much as it does your brother.'
'Really Laura I am not sure whether it does or not; so I am come to ask
you.'
'Me! Indeed you have too much confidence in my penetration; but you
have, fortunately, abler, and more natural advisers. Your mother'--
'Oh, my mother is so cautious, so afraid of influencing me! when to be
influenced is the very thing I want. I do hate caution. Then I can't
talk it over with her as I could with you. And then, there's Montague
who looks so provokingly pleased; and yet he pretends to prim up his
mouth, and say, "really it is a subject on which he neither can, nor
ought to give an opinion." Pray, advise me, my dear.'
'What! before I know who the gentleman is; when perhaps you have even no
right to inform me!'
'Pshaw! nonsense.--It is Bolingbroke. But I believe you have never met
with him.' 'So you would have me advise you to marry a man whom I have
never seen; for of course that is the advice you want. Had the balance
lain on the other side, no advice would have been thought necessary.'
'Poh,' cried Harriet pouting. 'I don't want to be advised to marry him.'
'Are you sure,' returned Laura, smiling, 'that you know what you
want.'--'Saucy girl! I would have you tell me whether I am ever likely
to marry him!' 'Do you think I am by birth entitled to the second-sight,
that I should foresee this before I know any thing of the gentleman's
merits, or, what is of more consequence, of their rank in your
estimation?' 'The man has good legs,' said Harriet, plaiting the fingers
of her glove with great industry. 'Legs! really, Harriet, I was in hopes
I had for once found you serious.'--'So I am; my dear; I never was so
serious before, and hope I never shall again. Yet I don't know what to
think; so I shall just tell you honestly how the matter stands, and you
shall think for me.'
'I will not promise that; but I own I have some curiosity to hear your
honest confession.'--'Oh you need not peep so archly askance under
those long eyelashes; I can stand a direct look, I assure you; for at
this moment I have not the slightest preference in the world for
Bolingbroke over half a score of others.' 'Then what room is there for
hesitation?' 'Why, my dear, in the first place, he has a noble fortune:
though that goes for nothing with you; secondly, he is really a good
creature, and far from a fool; then, to talk in your style, I have had
advantages in observing his temper and dispositions such as I shall
never have with any other man; for his sister and I have been companions
from childhood, and I have lived under his roof for months; then, which
will weigh with you more than all, he is Montague's particular
favourite.' 'Great recommendations these, Harriet; sufficient at least
to bias any woman who intends to marry. I should like to know Mr
Bolingbroke.' 'Here is his letter, my dear,' said Harriet; 'it came
inclosed in one to my brother. There is a good deal of the man's turn in
it.'
Laura took the letter, and read as follows:
'I will not wrong your penetration so much as to suppose that
this letter will surprise you, or that you will fail to
anticipate the subject on the first glance at the signature.
Nor do I write to tell you, in the hackneyed phrase, that the
happiness of my whole life depends upon you, because, next to
your affection, nothing is so desirable to me as your esteem,
and the hope that, though you should reject my suit, you will
continue to respect my understanding. But I may with truth
declare, that I prefer you to all women; that I love you, not
only in spite of your faults, but, perhaps, even the more for
them; and that, to forfeit the hope of your affection, would
dispel many a long-cherished vision of domestic peace, and even
some lighter dreams of rapture. Dearest Harriet, do not, in
return for this confession, write me a cold profession of
esteem. I know already that you esteem me, for you have long
known me possessed of qualities that inevitably engage esteem;
but I am conscious of a deficiency in the gifts that excite
passion, and I dread that I may never awaken sentiments like
those I feel. Yet it is no small compliment which I offer, when
I suppose you superior to the attractions which captivate the
vulgar of your sex; and you may value it the more, because it
is perhaps the only one I shall ever pay you.
'To say all this, or something like it, has long been in my
thoughts; and, during your late visit to my sister, occupied
them more than I shall own; but a dread of I know not what,
forced me to let you depart without offering to your acceptance
all that I have to offer. I felt a certainty that I was not
yet beloved, and, I believe I feared that you, in your lively
way, (so I must call it, since no epithet that implies reproof
must flow from a lover's pen), would give utterance to the
feeling of the moment, and bid me think of you no more. Is it
presumption to say, that I hope more from a more considerate
decision? Ask your own heart, then, dear Miss De Courcy,
whether time and the assiduities of respectful love can beguile
you of such tenderness as is due to a confiding affectionate
husband. Ask yourself, whether you can ever return my warm
attachment, to such a degree as will make the duties of a wife
easy and pleasant to you. I need not assure you that I am not
the selfish wretch who could find joy in receiving those which
were painfully and reluctantly performed. Be candid with
yourself then I adjure you. Fear not that I shall persecute you
with importunity or complaint. If it must be so, I will see you
no more for some months; and, at the end of that time, shall
expect, in reward of my self-conquest, to be received with
cordiality as your brother's friend. If your sentence be
against me, save yourself the pain of telling me so; for I know
that it must be painful to you. Yet judge of the strength of
that regard which is thus anxious to shield you from
uneasiness, at the moment when it anticipates such pain from
your hands. If you can give me hope (and, observe, when I say
hope, I do not mean certainty), do not tax your delicacy for
studied phrases of acceptance, but write me even a common card
of invitation to Norwood, and the tenderest billet that ever
was penned by woman, never gave more pleasure than it will
bring to your very affectionate and obedient servant,
'EDWARD BOLINGBROKE.'
Laura could not help smiling at the composed style of this epistle, so
different from the only ones of its kind with which she was conversant.
A lover confess that his mistress had faults, and that he was sensible
of them!--insinuate that he expected not only duty, but willing and
grateful duty from his wife!--have the boldness to expect, that, if his
passion were unsuccessful, he should quickly be able to conquer it!
Laura felt no inclination to envy her friend a lover so fully in the
exercise of his judgment and foresight; but she was pleased with the
plain honest rationality of the letter; and, with the materials before
her, immediately busied her imagination in its favourite work of
sketching and adorning character.
She was called from her meditation by another petition for advice. 'You
see,' said Harriet, 'he pretends not to expect certainty; but it is much
the same whether one run one's neck into the noose, or gets entangled so
that one can't decently get off. If I could creditably contrive to
keep him dangling till I had made up my mind,' continued she,
illustrating the metaphor with her watch-chain. 'Do assist me, my dear;
I am sure you have managed a dozen of them in your time.'
'My experience is not so extensive,' replied Laura, 'and I can really
assist you to no creditable method of trifling.'
'You would not have me resolve to marry a man whom I don't care a
farthing for.' 'No, indeed! but I think Mr Bolingbroke would have a
right to complain, if you gave hopes which you did not fulfil.' 'You
would have me dismiss him at once then?' 'By no means; but I would have
you think for yourself on a subject of which no other person can judge;
and remember, my dear, that, as your decision has neither been wrested
from you by surprise, nor seduced from you by persuasion, you have no
excuse for forming a weak or wavering resolution.'
Determined that on such a subject she would deliver no opinion, Laura
was relieved from some embarrassment by the return of De Courcy. His
reflections during his ride had effectually quelled the exuberance of
his spirits, and he endeavoured to repair his unguardedness by distant
politeness. His manner increased the feeling of restraint of which Laura
could not at that time divest herself; and after a short and constrained
sequel to a visit which had begun so differently, Montague hurried his
sister away.
'I shall never conquer her indifference,' said he to his mother, after
relating the folly of the morning. 'Had you seen her frozen look of
displeasure, you would have been convinced.' 'And how, my dear Montague,
could you expect Miss Montreville to receive such freedom? like a little
village coquette gasping at the prospect of a first lover? If you are
convinced that your secret would still be heard without pleasure, you
must redouble your caution to preserve it. But suffer me to warn you
against the extreme of reserve in which I have sometimes observed that
you are apt to fall. It can only confirm suspicions if they are excited;
if not, it will disgust by an appearance of caprice.'
Montague promised to be guarded; and withdrew to seek in his laboratory
a refuge from despondence. Those who pursue worldly gains and vulgar
pleasures, must cheerlessly toil on, waiting for their reward till their
end is attained; but the pursuits of science and of virtue have this
advantage peculiar to themselves, that there is reward in the labour,
even though the success be only partial; and, in half an hour, all
Montague's cares were absorbed in the muriatic acid. In a few days he
again saw Laura, and her sunny smile of welcome revived hopes which she
little thought of fulfilling.
When a woman of ordinary delicacy is brought to hesitate upon the
proposal of a lover, it is easy, provided prudence be on his side, to
conjecture how the balance will turn. Mr Bolingbroke received his card
of invitation to Norwood; and his suit advanced prosperously, though
slowly. He was a plain unpretending man, seven years at least beyond
excuse for any youthful indiscretion, habitually silent, though sure of
commanding attention when he spoke. The perfect fairness and integrity
of his mind had secured him the respect of all his acquaintance in a
degree which he appeared to have precisely estimated, and he never
seemed to expect less or to exact more. His calm unobtrusive manners
never captivated a stranger, nor gave offence to an intimate. He was
kind and generous to a sister, who, twenty years before, had succeeded
as his play-thing to tops and marbles; and uniformly respectful to a
maiden aunt who had, about the same date, replaced his mother as
directress of the family.
His father had been long dead, and in consequence of his steady
resistance of all the batteries of charms opened against him, or rather
against his 7000 a-year, the ladies had begun to shake their heads, and
pronounce him a determined bachelor. But, notwithstanding their
decision, Mr Bolingbroke was resolved to marry, for he considered
marriage as one of the duties of his station.
Harriet amused, became customary, pleasing, necessary, to him. 'Our
dissimilarity will assist us to correct each other's failings,' thought
he, and his choice was fixed. He was aware that a grave elderly man
might find some difficulty in attaching a volatile girl; and though he
could not condescend to flatter even his mistress, he was assiduous to
please. He bestowed an infinity of little attentions, which were the
more gratifying, because, from a man of his temper, they were wholly
unexpected. His books, his horses, his carriage, waited but a
half-expressed wish. He planned little excursions and parties of
pleasure, or contrived to add some agreeable surprise to those which
were proposed by others. Far from shewing any paltry jealousy, he
treated Miss De Courcy's favourites of both sexes with distinguished
politeness; and perhaps he owed his success with a heart which had
withstood more attractive admirers, partly to the agreeable
associations which he found means to raise, partly to vanity, pleased
with power over the philosophic Mr Bolingbroke.
Montague watched the progress of his friend with keen interest, but he
conscientiously avoided influencing Harriet's decision. On the contrary,
lest the dread of future dependence should weigh with her, he informed
her, that, should she prefer a single life, or should other
circumstances render such a sum important to her, he was determined to
double the little fortune he had already given.
While he was anxious to see his sister's happiness secured by her union
with an estimable man, he felt that her marriage with Mr Bolingbroke
would immediately remove one grand obstacle to his own wishes; for the
little dower which he was determined ere he settled in life to save for
Harriet, would form an addition altogether insignificant to the splendid
settlement which was now in her power. There was nothing Quixotic in the
justice and generosity of De Courcy; and he had no intention of
incurring real difficulty and privation for the sake of adding a trifle
to the stores of affluence. He therefore considered his sister's
marriage as leaving him at full liberty to pursue his inclinations with
regard to Laura, if the time should ever arrive when he could declare
them without hazarding the forfeiture of even his present stinted
measure of favour.
CHAPTER XXIV
One day Miss De Courcy expressed a wish to shew Laura the collection of
paintings at a celebrated seat in the neighbourhood. Mr Bolingbroke
immediately undertook to procure the permission of the noble owner, who
was his relation; and the party was speedily arranged. Mrs Penelope's
sociable, as Mr Bolingbroke always called it, was to convey his aunt,
his sister, Harriet, and Mrs De Courcy, to whom the genial warmth of the
season had partially restored the use of her limbs. Mrs Penelope piqued
herself upon rising with the lark, and enforcing the same wholesome
habit upon the whole household; the Bolingbrokes were, therefore, to
take an early breakfast at Norwood, and then to proceed on their
excursion. De Courcy and Mr Bolingbroke were to ride. Lady Pelham and
Laura were to join the party in the grounds.
The weather proved delightful; and, after spending some hours in
examining the paintings, in which Laura derived additional pleasure from
the skilful comments of De Courcy, the party proceeded to view the
grounds, when she, with almost equal delight, contemplated a finished
specimen of modern landscape-gardening. Pursuing, as usual, his cautious
plan, Montague divided his attentions pretty equally between the elder
ladies and Miss Bolingbroke, bestowing the least part upon her for whom
he would willingly have reserved all; while Harriet, in good humour with
herself, and with all around her, frankly gave her arm to her lover; and
sometimes laughing, sometimes blushing, suffered herself to loiter, to
incline her head in listening to somewhat said in a half-whisper, and to
answer it in an under tone; without recollecting that she had resolved,
till she had quite made up her mind, to restrain her habitual
propensity to flirting.
De Courcy was certainly above the meanness of envy, yet he could not
suppress a sigh as, with Mrs Penelope and his mother leaning on his
arms, while Laura walked behind with Miss Bolingbroke, he followed
Harriet and his friend into the darkened path that led to a hermitage.
The walk was shaded by yew, cypress, and other trees of dusky foliage,
which, closing into an arch, excluded the gaudy sunshine. As they
proceeded, the shade deepened into twilight, and the heats of noon gave
place to refreshing coolness. The path terminated in a porch of
wicker-work, forming the entrance to the hermitage, the walls of which
were composed of the roots of trees, on the outside rugged as from the
hand of nature, but within polished and fancifully adorned with shells
and fossils. Opposite to the entrance, a rude curtain of leopard skin
seemed to cover a recess; and Harriet, hastily drawing it aside, gave to
view a prospect gay with every variety of cheerful beauty. The meadows,
lately cleared from their burden, displayed a vivid green, and light
shadows quickly passed over them and were gone. The corn-fields were
busy with the first labours of the harvest. The village spires were
thickly sown in the distance. More near, a rapid river flashed bright to
the sun; yet the blaze came chastened to the eye, for it entered an
awning close hung with the graceful tendrils of the passion-flower.
The party were not soon weary of so lovely a landscape, and returning to
the more shady apartment, found an elegant collation of fruits and ices,
supplied by the gallantry of Mr Bolingbroke. Never was there a more
cheerful repast. Lady Pelham was luckily in good humour, and therefore
condescended to permit others to be so too. Laura, happily for herself,
possessed a faculty not common to beauties--she could be contented where
another was the chief object of attention; and she was actually enjoying
the court that was paid to her friend, when, accidentally raising the
vine leaf which held the fruit she was eating, she observed some verses
pencilled on the rustic table in a hand-writing familiar to her
recollection.
Sudden instinct made her hastily replace the leaf, and steal a glance to
see whether any other eye had followed her's. No one seemed to have
noticed her; but Laura's gaiety had vanished. The lines were distinct,
as if recently traced; and Laura's blood ran chill at the thought, that,
had she even a few hours sooner visited this spot, she might have met
Colonel Hargrave. 'He may still be near,' thought she; and she wished,
though she could not propose, to be instantly gone. None of her
companions, however, seemed inclined to move. They continued their
merriment, while Laura, her mind wholly occupied with one subject,
again stole a glimpse of the writing. It was undoubtedly Hargrave's;
and, deaf to all that was passing around her, she fell into a reverie,
which was first interrupted by the company rising to depart.
Though she had been in such haste to be gone, she was now the last to
go. In her momentary glance at the sonnet, she had observed that it was
inscribed to her. 'Of what possible consequence,' thought she, 'can it
be to me?' yet she lingered behind to read it. In language half
passionate, half melancholy, it complained of the pains of absence and
the cruelty of too rigid virtue; but it broke off abruptly, as if the
writer had been suddenly interrupted.
So rapidly did Laura glance over the lines, that her companions had
advanced but a few paces, ere she was hastening to follow them. On
reaching the porch, she saw that the walk was just entered by two
gentlemen. An instant convinced her that one of them was Hargrave.
Neither shriek nor exclamation announced this discovery, but Laura,
turning pale, shrunk back out of view. Her first feeling was eager
desire of escape; her first thought, that, returning to the inner
apartment, she might thence spring from the lofty terrace, on the verge
of which the hermitage was reared. She was deterred, by recollecting the
absurd appearance of such an escape, and the surprise it would occasion.
But what was to be done? There was no third way of leaving the place
where she stood, and if she remained, in a few moments Hargrave would be
there.
These ideas darted so confusedly through her mind, that it seemed rather
by instinct than design, that she drew her hat over her face, and
doubled her veil in order to pass him unnoticed. She again advanced to
the porch; but perceived, not without consternation, that Hargrave had
joined her party, and stood talking to Lady Pelham in an attitude of
easy cordiality. Laura did not comment upon the free morality which
accorded such a reception to such a character; for she was sick at
heart, and trembled in every limb. Now there was no escape. He would
certainly accost her, and she must answer him--answer him without
emotion! or how would Mr De Courcy--how would his mother construe her
weakness! What would Hargrave himself infer from it! What, but that her
coldness sprung from mere passing anger! or, more degrading still, from
jealousy! The truant crimson now rushed back unbidden; and Laura
proceeded with slow but steady steps.
During her short walk she continued to struggle with herself. 'Let me
but this once command myself,' said she. 'And wherefore should I not? It
is he who ought to shrink.--It is he who ought to tremble!' Yet it was
Laura who trembled, when, advancing towards her, Lady Pelham introduced
her to Colonel Hargrave as her niece. Laura's inclination of the head,
cold as indifference could make it, did not seem to acknowledge former
intimacy; and when Hargrave, with a manner respectful even to timidity,
claimed her acquaintance, she gave a short answer of frozen civility,
and turned away. Shrinking from even the slightest converse with him,
she hastily passed on; then, determined to afford him no opportunity of
speaking to her, she glided in between Mrs De Courcy, who stood
anxiously watching her, and Harriet, who was studying the contour of
Hargrave's face; and offering an arm to each, she gently drew them
forward.
Mr Bolingbroke immediately joined them, and entered into conversation
with Harriet; while Mrs De Courcy continued to read the legible
countenance of Laura, who silently walked on, revolving in her mind the
difference between this and her last unexpected meeting with Hargrave.
The freedom of his address to the unfriended girl who was endeavouring
to exchange the labour of her hands for a pittance to support existence,
(a freedom which had once found sympathetic excuse in the breast of
Laura), she now, not without indignation, contrasted with the respect
offered to Lady Pelham's niece, surrounded by the rich and the
respectable. Yet while she remembered what had then been her
half-affected coldness, her ill-restrained sensibility; and compared
them with the total alienation of heart which she now experienced, she
could not stifle a sigh which rose at the recollection, that in her the
raptures of love and joy were chilled never more to warm. 'Would that my
preference had been more justly directed,' thought she, her eye
unconsciously wandering to De Courcy; 'but that is all over now!'
From idle regrets, Laura soon turned to more characteristic meditation
upon the conduct most suitable for her to pursue. Hargrave had joined
her party; had been acknowledged, by some of them at least, as an
acquaintance; and had particularly attached himself to Lady Pelham, with
whom he followed in close conversation. Laura thought he would probably
take the first opportunity of addressing himself to her; and if her
manner towards him corresponded with the bent of her feelings,
consciousness made her fear, that in her distance and constraint Lady
Pelham's already suspicious eye would read more than merely dislike to a
vicious character. Hargrave himself, too, might mistake who so nearly
resembled her former manner for the veil of her former sentiments. She
might possibly escape speaking to him for the present, but if he was
fixed in the neighbourhood, (and something of the woman whispered that
he would not leave it immediately), they would probably meet where to
avoid him was not in her power. After some minutes of close
consideration, she concluded, that to treat Colonel Hargrave with easy
civil indifference, best accorded with what she owed to her own dignity;
and was best calculated, if he retained one spark of sensibility or
discernment, to convince him that her sentiments had undergone an
irrevocable change. This method, therefore, she determined to pursue;
making, with a sigh, this grand proviso, that she should find it
practicable.
Mrs De Courcy, who guessed the current of her thoughts, suffered it to
proceed without interruption; and it was not till Laura relaxed her
brow, and raised her head, like one who has taken his resolution, that
her companion, stopping, complained of fatigue; proposing, as her own
carriage was not in waiting, to borrow Lady Pelham's, and return home,
leaving the other ladies to be conveyed in Mrs Penelope's sociable to
Norwood, where the party was to dine. Not willing to direct the proposal
to Laura, upon whose account chiefly it was made, she then turned to Mrs
Penelope, and inquired whether she did not feel tired with her walk; but
that lady, who piqued herself upon being a hale active woman of her age,
declared herself able for much greater exertion, and would walk, she
said, till she had secured an appetite for dinner. Laura, who had
modestly held back till Mrs Penelope's decision was announced, now
eagerly offered her attendance, which Mrs De Courcy, with a little
dissembled hesitation, accepted, smiling to perceive how well she had
divined her young favourite's inclinations.
The whole party attended them to the spot where the carriages were
waiting. On reaching them, Mr Bolingbroke, handing in Mrs De Courcy,
left Laura's side for the first time free to Hargrave, who instantly
occupied it; while Montague, the drops standing on his forehead, found
himself shackled between Mrs Penelope and Miss Bolingbroke. 'Ever dear,
ever revered Miss Montreville'--Hargrave began in an insinuating
whisper. 'Sir!' cried Laura, starting with indignant surprise. 'Nay,
start not,' continued he in an under voice; 'I have much, much to say.
Lady Pelham allows me to visit Walbourne; will you permit me to'--Laura
had not yet studied her lesson of easy civility, and therefore the
courtesy of a slight inclination of the head was contradicted by the
tone in which she interrupted him, saying, 'I never presume, Sir, to
select Lady Pelham's visitors.'
She had reached the door of the carriage, and Hargrave took her hand to
assist her in entering. Had Laura been prepared, she would have suffered
him, though reluctantly, to do her this little service; but he took her
unawares, and snatching back her hand as from the touch of a loathsome
reptile, she sprang, unassisted, into her seat.
As the carriage drove off, Mrs De Courcy again apologized for separating
Laura from her companions; 'though I know not,' added she, 'whether I
should not rather take credit for withdrawing you from such dangerous
society. All ladies who have stray hearts must guard them either in
person or by proxy, since this formidable Colonel Hargrave has come
among us.' 'He has fortunately placed the more respectable part of us in
perfect security,' returned Laura, with a smile and voice of such
unembarrassed simplicity as fully satisfied her examiner.
Had Laura spent a lifetime in studying to give pain, which, indeed, was
not in all her thoughts, she could not have inflicted a sharper sting on
the proud heart of Hargrave, than by the involuntary look and gesture
with which she quitted him. The idea of inspiring with disgust, unmixed
irresistible disgust, the woman upon whose affections, or rather upon
whose passions, he had laboured so zealously and so long, had ever been
more than he could bear, even when the expression of her dislike had no
witness; but now she had published it to chattering misses and prying
old maids, and more favoured rivals. Hargrave bit his lip till the blood
came; and, if the lightning of the eye could scathe, his wrath had been
far more deadly to others.
After walking for some minutes surly and apart, he began to comfort
himself with the hopes of future revenge. 'She had loved him,
passionately loved him, and he was certain she could not be so utterly
changed. Her behaviour was either all affectation, or a conceit of the
strength of her own mind, which all these clever women were so vain of.
But the spark still lurked somewhere, whatever she might imagine, and if
he could turn her own weapons against herself.'--Then, recollecting that
he had resolved to cultivate Lady Pelham, he resumed his station by her
side, and was again the courtly, insinuating Colonel Hargrave.
Hargrave had lately acquired a friend, or rather an adviser (the
dissolute have no friends), who was admirably calculated to supply the
deficiencies of his character as a man of pleasure. Indeed, except in so
far as pleasure was his constant aim, no term could, with less justice,
have been applied to Hargrave; for his life was chiefly divided between
the goadings of temptations to which he himself lent arms, and the pangs
of self-reproach which he could not exclude, and would not render
useful. The strait and narrow way he never had a thought of treading,
but his wanderings were more frequent than he intended, his returns more
lingering. The very strength of his passions made him incapable of deep
or persevering deceit; he was humane to the suffering that pressed
itself on his notice, if it came at a convenient season; and he was
disinterested, if neglect of gold deserve the name. Lambert, his new
adviser, had no passions, no humanity, no neglect of gold. He was a
gamester.
The practice of this profession, for, though a man of family and fortune
he made it a profession, had rendered him skilful to discern, and
remorseless to use the weaknesses of his fellow creatures. His estate
lay contiguous to --, the little town where Hargrave had been quartered
when he visited at Norwood; but the year which Hargrave passed at -- was
spent by Lambert almost entirely alone in London. He had returned
however to the country, had been introduced to Hargrave, and had just
fixed upon him as an easy prey, when the soldier was saved for a time,
by receiving intimation of his promotion, and orders to join his
regiment in a distant county.
They met again in an evil hour, just as Hargrave had half-determined to
abandon as fruitless his search after Laura. The necessity of a
stimulant was as strong as ever. Another necessity too was strong, for
10,000 of damages had been awarded to Lord Bellamer; Hargrave could not
easily raise the money, and Lord Lincourt refused to advance a shilling.
'A pretty expensive pleasure has this Lady Bellamer been to me,' said
Hargrave, bestowing on her Ladyship a coarse enough epithet; for even
fine gentlemen will sometimes call women what they have found them to
be. He was prevailed on to try the gaming-table for the supply of both
his wants, and found that pleasure fully twice as expensive. His friend
introduced him to some of those accommodating gentlemen who lend money
at illegal interest, and was generous enough to supply him when they
would venture no more upon an estate in reversion. Lambert had
accidentally heard of the phoenix which had appeared at Walbourne; and,
on comparing the description he received of her with that to which with
politic patience he had often listened, he had no doubt of having found
the object of Hargrave's search. But, as it did not suit his present
views that the lover should renew the pursuit, he dropt not a hint of
his discovery, listening, with a gamester's insensibility, to the
regrets which burst forth amidst the struggles of expiring virtue, for
her whose soft influence would have led to peace and honour.
At last a dispute arising between the worthy Mr Lambert and his
respectable coadjutors, as to the partition of the spoil, it occurred to
him that he could more effectually monopolize his prey in the country;
and thither accordingly he was called by pressing business. There he was
presently so fortunate as to discover a Miss Montreville, on whose
charms he descanted in a letter to Hargrave in such terms, that, though
he averred she could not be Hargrave's Miss Montreville, Hargrave was
sure she could be no other; and, as his informer expected, arrived in
----shire as soon as a chaise and four could convey him thither.
Lambert had now a difficult game to play, for he had roused the leading
passion, and the collateral one could act but feebly; but they who often
tread the crooked path, find pleasure in its intricacy, vainly
conceiting that it gives proof of their sagacity, and Lambert looked
with pleasure on the obstacles in his way. He trusted, that while the
master-spirit detained Hargrave within the circle of Walbourne, he might
dexterously practise with the lesser imp of evil.
Had his letter afforded a clue to Laura's residence, Hargrave would have
flown directly to Walbourne, but he was first obliged to stop at --; and
Lambert, with some difficulty, persuaded him, that, as he was but
slightly known to Lady Pelham, and probably in disgrace with her
protege, it would be more politic to delay his visit, and first meet
them at Lord --'s, where he had information that they were to go on the
following day. 'You will take your girl at unawares,' said he, 'if she
be your girl; and that is no bad way of feeling your ground.' The vanity
of extorting from Laura's surprise some unequivocal token of his power
prevailed on the lover to delay the interview till the morning; and,
after spending half the evening in dwelling upon the circumstances of
his last unexpected meeting with her, which distance softened in his
imagination to more than its actual tenderness, he, early in the morning
set out with Lambert for --, where he took post in the hermitage, as a
place which no stranger omitted to visit.
Growing weary of waiting, he dispatched Lambert as a scout; and, lest he
should miss Laura, remained himself in the hermitage, till his emissary
brought him information that the party were in the picture gallery.
Thither he hastened; but the party had already left the house, and thus
had Laura accidental warning of his approach. No reception could have
been so mortifying to him, who was prepared to support her sinking under
the struggle of love and duty, of jealousy and pride. No struggle was
visible; or, if there was, it was but a faint strife between native
courtesy and strong dislike. He had boasted to Lambert of her
tenderness; the specimen certainly was not flattering. Most of her
companions were little more gracious. De Courcy paid him no more
attention than bare civility required.--With the Bolingbrokes he was
unacquainted, but the character of his companion was sufficient reason
for their reserve. Lady Pelham was the only person present who soothed
his wounded vanity. Pleased with the prospect of unravelling the mystery
into which she had pried so long in vain, charmed with the easy
gallantry and adroit flattery of which Hargrave, in his cooler moments,
was consummate master, she accepted his attentions with great
cordiality; while he had the address tacitly to persuade her that they
were a tribute to her powers of entertaining.
Before they parted, she had converted her permission to visit Walbourne
into a pressing invitation, nay, had even hinted to De Courcy the
propriety of asking the Colonel to join the dinner party that day at
Norwood. The hint, however, was not taken; and therefore, in her way
home, Lady Pelham indulged her fellow-travellers with sundry moral and
ingenious reflections concerning the folly of being 'righteous over
much;' and on the alluring accessible form of the true virtue,
contrasted with the repulsive, bristly, hedgehog-like make of the false.
Indeed, it must be owned, that for the rest of the evening her
Ladyship's conversation was rather sententious than agreeable; but the
rest of the party, in high good humour, overlooked her attacks, or
parried them in play.
Montague had watched the cold composure of Laura on Hargrave's first
accosting her, and seen the gesture which repulsed him at parting; and
though in the accompanying look he lost volumes, his conclusions, on the
whole, were favourable. Still a doubt arose, whether her manner sprung
not from the fleeting resentment of affection; and he was standing
mournfully calculating the effects of Hargrave's perseverance, when his
mother, in passing him as she followed her guests to the eating-room,
said, in an emphatical whisper, 'I am satisfied. There is no worm in the
bud.'
Mrs De Courcy's encouraging assertion was confirmed by the behaviour of
Laura herself; for she maintained her usual serene cheerfulness; nor
could even the eye of love detect more than one short fit of
distraction; and then the subject of thought seemed any thing rather
than pleasing retrospect, or glad anticipation. The company of his
friends, Harriet's pointedly favourable reception of Mr Bolingbroke's
assiduities, and the rise of his own hopes, all enlivened Montague to
unusual vivacity, and led him to a deed of daring which he had often
projected, without finding courage to perform it. He thought, if he
could speak of Hargrave to Laura, and watch her voice, her eye, her
complexion, all his doubts would be solved. With this view, contriving
to draw her a little apart, he ventured, for the first time, to name his
rival; mentioned Lady Pelham's hint; and, faltering, asked Laura whether
he had not done wrong in resisting it.
'Really,' answered Laura with a very nave smile, and a very faint
blush, 'I don't wonder you hesitate in offering me such a piece of
flattery as to ask my opinion.'
'Do not tax me with flattering you,' said De Courcy earnestly; 'I would
as soon flatter an apostle; but tell me candidly what you think.'
'Then, candidly,' said Laura, raising her mild unembarrassed eye to his,
'I think you did right, perfectly right, in refusing your countenance to
a person of Colonel Hargrave's character. While vice is making her
encroachments on every hand, it is not for the friends of virtue to
remove the ancient landmarks.'
Though this was one of the stalest pieces of morality that ever Montague
had heard Laura utter, he could scarcely refrain from repaying it by
clasping her to his heart. Convinced that her affections were free, he
could not contain his rapture, but exclaimed, 'Laura, you are an angel!
and, if I did not already love beyond all power of expression, I should
be'--He raised his eyes to seek those of Laura, and met his mother's,
fixed on him with an expression that compelled him to silence.--'You
should be in love with me;' said Laura, laughing, and filling up the
sentence as she imagined it was meant to conclude. 'Well, I shall be
content with the second place.'
Mrs De Courcy, who had approached them, now spoke on some indifferent
subject, and saved her son from a very awkward attempt at explanation.
She drew her chair close to Laura, and soon engaged her in a
conversation so animated, that Montague forgot his embarrassment, and
joined them with all his natural ease and cheerfulness. The infection of
his ease and cheerfulness Laura had ever found irresistible. Flashes of
wit and genius followed the collision of their minds; and the unstudied
eloquence, the poetic imagery of her style, sprung forth at his touch,
like blossoms in the steps of the fabled Flora.
Happy with her friends, Laura almost forgot the disagreeable adventure
of the morning; and, every look and word mutually bestowing pleasure,
the little party were as happy as affection and esteem could make them,
when Lady Pelham, with an aspect like a sea fog, and a voice suitably
forbidding, inquired whether her niece would be pleased to go home, or
whether she preferred sitting chattering there all night. Laura, without
any sign of noticing the rudeness of this address, rose, and said she
was quite ready to attend her Ladyship. In vain did the De Courcys
entreat her to prolong her visit till the morning. To dare to be happy
without her concurrence, was treason against Lady Pelham's dignity; and
unfortunately she was not in a humour to concur in the joy of any living
thing. De Courcy's reserve towards her new favourite she considered as a
tacit reproof of her own cordiality; and she had just such a conviction
that the reproof was deserved, as to make her thoroughly out of humour
with the reprover, with herself, and consequently with everybody else.
Determined to interrupt pleasure which she would not share, the more her
hosts pressed her stay, the more she hastened her departure; and she
mingled her indifferent good nights to them with more energetic
reprimands to the tardiness of her coachman.
'Thank heaven,' said she, thrusting herself into the corner of her
carriage with that jerk in her motion which indicates a certain degree
of irritation, 'to-morrow we shall probably see a civilized being.' A
short pause followed. Laura's plain integrity and prudence had gained
such ascendancy over Lady Pelham, that her niece's opinion was to her
Ladyship a kind of second conscience, having, indeed, much the same
powers as the first. Its sanction was necessary to her quiet, though it
had not force to controul her actions. On the present occasion she
wished, above all things, to know Laura's sentiments; but she would not
condescend to ask them directly. 'Colonel Hargrave's manners are quite
those of a gentleman,' she resumed. The remark was entirely ineffectual;
for Laura coolly assented, without inquiring whether he were the
civilized being whom Lady Pelham expected to see. Another pause.
'Colonel Hargrave will be at Walbourne to-morrow,' said Lady Pelham, the
tone of her voice sharpening with impatience. 'Will he, Ma'am?' returned
Laura, without moving a muscle. 'If Miss Montreville has no objections,'
said Lady Pelham, converting by a toss of her head and a twist of her
upper lip, the words of compliment into an insult. 'Probably,' said
Laura, with a smile, 'my objections would make no great
difference.'--'Oh, to be sure!' returned Lady Pelham, 'it would be lost
labour to state them to such an obstinate, unreasonable person as I am!
Well, I believe you are the first who ever accused me of obstinacy.' If
Lady Pelham expected a compliment to her pliability, she was
disappointed; for Laura only answered, 'I shall never presume to
interfere in the choice of your Ladyship's visitors.'
That she should be thus compelled to be explicit was more than Lady
Pelham's temper could endure. Her eyes flashing with rage, 'Superlative
humility indeed!' she exclaimed with a sneer; but, awed, in spite of
herself, from the free expression of her fury, she muttered it within
her shut teeth in a sentence of which the words 'close' and 'jesuitical'
alone reached Laura's ear. A long and surly silence followed; Lady
Pelham's pride and anger struggling with her desire to learn the
foundation and extent of the disapprobation which she suspected that her
conduct excited. The latter, at last, partly prevailed; though Lady
Pelham still disclaimed condescending to direct consultation.
'Pray, Miss Montreville,' said she, 'if Colonel Hargrave's visits were
to you, what mighty objections might your sanctity find to
them?'--Laura had long ago observed that a slight exertion of her spirit
was the best quietus to her aunt's ill humour; and, therefore,
addressing her with calm austerity, she said, 'Any young woman, Madam,
who values her reputation, might object to Colonel Hargrave's visits,
merely on the score of prudence. But even my "superlative humility" does
not reconcile me to company which I despise; and my "sanctity," as your
Ladyship is pleased to call it, rather shrinks from the violator of laws
divine and human.'
Lady Pelham withdrew her eyes to escape a glance which they never could
stand; but, bridling, she said, 'Well, Miss Montreville, I am neither
young nor sanctimonious, therefore your objections cannot apply to
Colonel Hargrave's visits to me; and I am determined,' continued she,
speaking as if strength of voice denoted strength of resolution, 'I am
determined, that I will not throw away the society of an agreeable man,
to gratify the whims of a parcel of narrow-minded bigots.'
To this attack Laura answered only with a smile. She smiled to see
herself classed with the De Courcys; for she had no doubt that they were
the 'bigots' to whom Lady Pelham referred. She smiled, too, to observe
that the boasted freedom of meaner minds is but a poor attempt to hide
from themselves the restraint imposed by the opinions of the wise and
good.
The carriage stopped, and Laura took sanctuary in her own apartment; but
at supper she met her aunt with smiles of unaffected complacency, and,
according to the plan which she invariably pursued, appeared to have
forgotten Lady Pelham's fit of spleen; by that means enabling her aunt
to recover from it with as little expence to her pride as possible.
CHAPTER XXV
Lady Pelham was not disappointed in her expectation of seeing Colonel
Hargrave on the following day. He called at Walbourne while her Ladyship
was still at her toilette; and was shown into the drawing-room, where
Laura had already taken her station. She rose to receive him, with an
air which shewed that his visit gave her neither surprise nor pleasure;
and, motioning him to a distant seat, quietly resumed her occupation.
Hargrave was a little disconcerted. He expected that Laura would shun
him, with marks of strong resentment, or perhaps with the agitation of
offended love; and he was prepared for nothing but to entreat the
audience which she now seemed inclined to offer him.
Lovers are so accustomed to accuse ladies of cruelty, and to find ladies
take pleasure in being so accused, that unlooked-for kindness
discomposes them; and a favour unhoped is generally a favour undesired.
The consciousness of ill desert, the frozen serenity of Laura's manner,
deprived Hargrave of courage to use the opportunity which she seemed
voluntarily to throw in his way. He hesitated, he faltered; while, all
unlike her former self, Laura appeared determined that he should make
love, for she would not aid his dilemma even by a comment on the
weather. All the timidity which formerly marked her demeanour, was now
transferred to his; and, arranging her work with stoical composure, she
raised her head to listen, as Hargrave approaching her stammered out an
incoherent sentence expressive of his unalterable love, and his fears
that he had offended almost beyond forgiveness.
Laura suffered him to conclude without interruption; then answered, in a
voice mild but determined, 'I had some hopes, Sir, from your knowledge
of my character and sentiments, that, after what has passed, you could
have entertained no doubts on this subject.--Yet, lest even a shadow of
suspense should rest on your mind, I have remained here this morning on
purpose to end it. I sincerely grieve to hear that you still retain the
partiality you have been pleased to express, since it is now beyond my
power to make even the least return.'
The utmost bitterness of reproach would not have struck so chilly on the
heart of Hargrave as these words, and the manner in which they were
uttered. From the principles of Laura he had indeed dreaded much; but he
had feared nothing from her indifference. He had feared that duty might
obtain a partial victory; but he had never doubted that inclination
would survive the struggle. With a mixture of doubt, surprise, and
anguish, he continued to gaze upon her after she was silent; then
starting, he exclaimed--'I will not believe it; it is impossible. Oh,
Laura, choose some other way to stab, for I cannot bear this!'--'It
pains me,' said Laura, in a voice of undissembled concern, 'to add
disappointment to the pangs which you cannot but feel; yet it were most
blameable now to cherish in you the faintest expectation.'--'Stop,'
cried Hargrave, vehemently, 'if you would not have me utterly undone. I
have never known peace or innocence but in the hope of your love; leave
me a dawning of that hope, however distant. Nay, do not look as if it
were impossible. When you thought me a libertine, a seducer--all that
you can now think me, you suffered me to hope. Let me but begin my trial
now, and all woman-kind shall not lure me from you.'
'Ah,' said Laura, 'when I dreamt of the success of that trial, a strange
infatuation hung over me. Now it has passed away for ever. Sincerely do
I wish and pray for your repentance, but I can no longer offer to reward
it. My desire for your reformation will henceforth be as disinterested
as sincere.'
Half distracted with the cutting calmness of her manner, so changed
since the time when every feature spoke the struggles of the heart, when
the mind's whole strength seemed collected to resist its tenderness,
Hargrave again vehemently refused to believe in her indifference. ''Tis
but a few short months,' he cried, grasping her hand with a violence
that made her turn pale; ''tis but a few short months since you loved me
with your whole soul, since you said that your peace depended upon my
return to virtue. And dare you answer it to yourself to cast away the
influence, the only influence that can secure me?'
'If I have any influence with you,' returned Laura, with a look and an
attitude of earnest entreaty, 'let it but this once prevail, and then be
laid aside for ever. Let me persuade you to the review of your conduct;
to the consideration of your prospects as an accountable being, of the
vengeance that awaits the impenitent, of the escape offered in the
gospel. As you value your happiness, let me thus far prevail. Or if it
will move you more,' continued she, the tears gushing from her eyes, 'I
will beseech you to grant this, my only request; in memory of a love
that mourned your unworthiness almost unto death.'
The sight of her emotions revived Hargrave's hopes; and, casting himself
at her feet, he passionately declared, while she shuddered at the
impious sentiment, that he asked no heaven but her love, and cared not
what were his fate if she were lost. 'Ah, Sir,' said she, with pious
solemnity, 'believe me, the time is not distant when the disappointment
of this passion will seem to you a sorrow light as the baffled sports of
childhood. Believe the testimony of one who but lately drew near to the
gates of the grave. On a death-bed, guilt appears the only real misery;
and lesser evils are lost amidst its horror like shadows in a
midnight-gloom.'
The ideas which Laura was labouring to introduce into the mind of
Hargrave were such as he had of late too successfully endeavoured to
exclude. They had intruded like importunate creditors; till, oft refused
admittance, they had ceased to return. The same arts which he had used
to disguise from himself the extent of his criminality, he now naturally
employed to extenuate it in the sight of Laura. He assured her that he
was less guilty than she supposed; that she could form no idea of the
force of the temptation which had overcome him; that Lady Bellamer was
less the victim of his passions than of her own; he vehemently protested
that he despised and abhorred the wanton who had undone him; and that,
even in the midst of a folly for which he now execrated himself, his
affections had never wandered from their first object. While he spoke,
Laura in confusion cast down her eyes, and offended modesty suffused her
face and neck with crimson. She could indeed form no idea of a heart
which, attached to one woman, could find any temptation in the
allurements of another. But when he ended, virtuous indignation flashing
in her countenance, 'For shame, Sir!' said she. 'If any thing could
degrade you in my eyes it were this mean attempt to screen yourself
behind the partner of your wickedness. Does it lessen your guilt that it
had not even the poor excuse of passion; or think you that, even in the
hours of a weakness for which you have given me such just reason to
despise myself, I could have prized the affections of a heart so
depraved? You say you detest your crime; I fear you only detest its
punishment; for, were you really repentant, my opinion, the opinion of
the whole world, would seem to you a trifle unworthy of regard, and the
utmost bitterness of censure be but an echo to your own
self-upbraidings.'
Hargrave had no inclination to discuss the nature of repentance. His
sole desire was to wrest from Laura some token, however slight, of
returning tenderness. For this purpose he employed all the eloquence
which he had often found successful in similar attempts. But no two
things can be more different in their effects, than the language of
passion poured into the sympathizing bosom of mutual love, or addressed
to the dull ear of indifference. The expressions which Laura once
thought capable of warming the coldest heart seemed now the mere ravings
of insanity; the lamentations which she once thought might have softened
rocks, now appeared the weak complainings of a child for his lost toy.
With a mixture of pity and disgust she listened and replied; till the
entrance of Lady Pelham put a period to the dialogue, and Laura
immediately quitted the room.
Lady Pelham easily perceived that the conversation had been particular;
and Hargrave did not long leave her in doubt as to the subject. He
acquainted her with his pretensions to Laura, and begged her sanction to
his addresses; assuring her that his intercourse with Lady Bellamer was
entirely broken off, and that his marriage would secure his permanent
reformation. He complimented Lady Pelham upon her liberality of
sentiment and knowledge of the world; from both of which he had hopes,
he said, that she would not consider one error as sufficient to blast
his character. Lady Pelham made a little decent hesitation on the score
of Lady Bellamer's prior claims; but was assured that no engagement had
ever subsisted there. 'She hoped Lord Lincourt would not be averse.' She
was told that Lord Lincourt anxiously desired to see his nephew settled.
'She hoped Colonel Hargrave was resolved that his married life should be
irreproachable. Laura had a great deal of sensibility, it would break
her heart to be neglected; and Lady Pelham was sure, that in that case
the thought of having consented to the dear child's misery would be more
than she could support!' Her Ladyship was vanquished by an assurance,
that for Laura to be neglected by her happy husband was utterly
impossible.
'Laura's inclinations then must be consulted; every thing depended upon
her concurrence, for the sweet girl had really so wound herself round
Lady Pelham's heart, that positively her Ladyship could not bear to give
her a moment's uneasiness, or to press her upon a subject to which she
was at all averse.' And, strange as it may seem, Lady Pelham at that
moment believed herself incapable of distressing the person whom, in
fact, she tormented with ceaseless ingenuity! Hargrave answered by
confessing his fears that he was for the present less in favour than he
had once been; but he disclosed Laura's former confessions of
partiality, and insinuated his conviction that it was smothered rather
than extinguished.
Lady Pelham could now account for Laura's long illness and low spirits;
and she listened with eager curiosity to the solution of the enigma,
which had so long perplexed her. She considered whether she should
relate to the lover the sorrows he had caused. She judged (for Lady
Pelham often judged properly) that it would be indelicate thus to
proclaim to him the extent of his power; but, with the usual
inconsistency between her judgment and her practice, in half an hour she
had informed him of all that she had observed, and hinted all that she
suspected. Hargrave listened, was convinced, and avowed his conviction
that Lady Pelham's influence was alone necessary to secure his success.
Her Ladyship said, 'that she should feel some delicacy in using any
strong influence with her niece, as the amiable orphan had no friend but
herself, had owed somewhat to her kindness, and might be biassed by
gratitude against her own inclination. The fortune which she meant to
bequeath to Laura might by some be thought to confer a right to advise;
but, for her part, she thought her little all was no more than due to
the person whose tender assiduities filled the blank which had been left
in her Ladyship's maternal heart by the ingratitude and disobedience of
her child.' This sentiment was pronounced in a tone so pathetic, and in
language so harmonious, that, though it did not for a moment impose upon
her hearer, it deceived Lady Pelham herself; and she shed tears, which
she actually imagined to be forced from her by the mingled emotions of
gratitude and of disappointed tenderness.
Lady Pelham had now entered on a subject inexhaustible; her own
feelings, her own misfortunes, her own dear self. Hargrave, who in his
hours of tolerable composure was the most polite of men, listened, or
appeared to listen, with unconquerable patience, till he fortunately
recollected an appointment which his interest in her Ladyship's
conversation had before banished from his mind; when he took his leave,
bearing with him a very gracious invitation to repeat his visit.
With him departed Lady Pelham's fit of sentimentality; and, in five
minutes, she had dried her eyes, composed the paragraph which was to
announce the marriage of Lord Lincourt (for she killed off the old peer
without ceremony) to the lovely heiress of the amiable Lady Pelham;
taken possession of her niece's barouche and four, and heard herself
announced as the benefactress of this new wonder of the world of
fashion. She would cut off her rebellious daughter with a shilling; give
her up to the beggary and obscurity which she had chosen, and leave her
whole fortune to Lady Lincourt; for so, in the fulness of her content,
she called Laura. After some time enjoying her niece's prospects, or to
speak more justly her own, she began to think of discovering how near
they might be to their accomplishment; and, for this purpose, she
summoned Laura to a conference.
Lady Pelham loved nothing on earth but herself; yet vanity, gratified
curiosity, and, above all, the detection of a mere human weakness
reducing Laura somewhat more to her own level awakened in her breast an
emotion resembling affection; as, throwing her arms round her niece,
she, in language half sportive, half tender, declared her knowledge of
Laura's secret, and reproached her with having concealed it so well.
Insulted, wronged, and forsaken by Hargrave, Laura had kept his secret
inviolable, for she had no right to disclose it; but she scorned, by any
evasion, to preserve her own. Glowing with shame and mortification, she
stood silently shrinking from Lady Pelham's looks; till, a little
recovering herself, she said, 'I deserve to be thus humbled for my folly
in founding my regards, not on the worth of their object, but on my own
imagination; and more, if it be possible, do I deserve, for exposing my
weakness to one who has been so ungenerous as to boast of it. But it is
some compensation to my pride,' continued she, raising her eyes, 'that
my disorder is cured beyond the possibility of relapse.' Lady Pelham
smiled at Laura's security, which she did not consider as an infallible
sign of safety. It was in vain that Laura proceeded solemnly to protest
her indifference. Lady Pelham could allow for self-deceit in another's
case, though she never suspected it in her own. Vain were Laura's
comments upon Hargrave's character; they were but the fond revilings of
offended love. Laura did not deny her former preference; she even owed
that it was the sudden intelligence of Hargrave's crimes which had
reduced her to the brink of the grave; therefore Lady Pelham was
convinced that a little perseverance would fan the smothered flame; and
perseverance, she hoped, would not be wanting. Nevertheless, as her
Ladyship balanced her fondness for contradicting by her aversion to
being contradicted, and as Laura was too much in earnest to study the
qualifying tone, the conference concluded rather less amicably than it
began; though it ended by Lady Pelham's saying, not very consistently
with her sentiments an hour before, that she would never cease to urge
so advantageous a match, conceiving that she had a right to influence
the choice of one whom she would make the heiress of forty thousand
pounds. Laura was going to insist that all influence would be
ineffectual, but her aunt quitted her without suffering her to reply.
She would have followed to represent the injustice of depriving Mrs
Herbert of her natural rights; but she desisted on recollecting that
Lady Pelham's purposes were like wedges, never fixed but by resistance.
The time had been when Lady Pelham's fortune would have seemed to
Hargrave as dust in the balance, joined with the possession of Laura. He
had gamed, had felt the want of money; and money was no longer
indifferent to him. But Laura's dower was still light in his estimation,
compared with its weight in that of Lambert, to whom he accidentally
mentioned Lady Pelham's intention. That prudent person calculated that
40,000 would form a very handsome addition to a fund upon which he
intended to draw pretty freely. He had little doubt of Hargrave's
success; he had never known any woman with whom such a lover could fail.
He thought he could lead his friend to bargain for immediate possession
of part of his bride's portion, and, for certainty of the rest in
reversion, before parting with his liberty. He allowed two, or perhaps
even three months for the duration of Laura's influence; during which
time he feared he should have little of her husband's company at the
gaming-table; but from thenceforth, he judged that the day would be his
own, and that he should soon possess himself of Hargrave's property, so
far as it was alienable. He considered that, in the meantime, Laura
would furnish attraction sufficient to secure Hargrave's stay at --, and
he trusted to his own dexterity for improving that circumstance to the
best advantage. He failed not, therefore, to encourage the lover's
hopes, and bestowed no small ridicule on the idea that a girl of
nineteen should desert a favourite on account of his gallantry.
Cool cunning would engage with fearful odds against imprudence, if it
could set bounds to the passions, as well as direct their course. But it
is often deceived in estimating the force of feelings which it knows
only by their effects. Lambert soon found that he had opened the passage
to a torrent which bore all before it. The favourite stimulus found, its
temporary substitute was almost disregarded; and Hargrave, intoxicated
with his passion, tasted sparingly of the poisoned cup which his friend
designed for him. His time and thoughts were again devoted to Laura, and
gaming was only sought as a relief from the disappointment and vexation
which generally attended his pursuit. The irritation of his mind,
however, made amends for the lessened number of opportunities for
plundering him, by rendering it easier to take advantage of those which
remained.
The insinuating manners and elegant person of Hargrave gained daily on
the favour of Lady Pelham; for the great as well as the little vulgar
are the slaves of mere externals. She permitted his visits at home and
his attendance abroad, expatiating frequently on the liberality of
sentiment which she thus displayed. At first these encomiums on her own
conduct were used only to disguise from herself and others her
consciousness of its impropriety; but she repeated them till she
actually believed them just, and considered herself as extending a
charitable hand to rescue an erring brother from the implacable
malignity of the world.
She was indefatigable in her attempts to promote his success with Laura.
She lost no opportunity of pressing the subject. She obstinately refused
to be convinced of the possibility of overcoming a strong prepossession.
Laura, in an evil hour for herself, thoughtlessly replied, that
affection was founded on the belief of excellence, and must of course
give way when the foundation was removed. This observation had just
fallacy sufficient for Lady Pelham's purpose. She took it for her text,
and harangued upon it with all the zeal and perseverance of disputation.
She called it Laura's theory; and insisted that, like other theorists,
she would shut her eyes against the plainest facts, nay, stifle the
feelings of her own mind, rather than admit what might controvert her
opinion. She cited all the instances which her memory could furnish of
agricultural, and chemical, and metaphysical theorism; and, with
astonishing ingenuity, contrived to draw a parallel between each of them
and Laura's case. It was in vain that Laura qualified, almost retracted
her unlucky observation. Her adversary would not suffer her to desert
the untenable ground. Delighted with her victory, she returned again
and again to the attack, after the vanquished had appealed to her mercy;
and much more than 'thrice she slew the slain.'
Sick of arguing about the possibility of her indifference, Laura at
length confined herself to simple assertions of the fact. Lady Pelham at
first merely refused her belief; and, with provoking pity, rallied her
niece upon her self-deceit; but, finding that she corroborated her words
by a corresponding behaviour to Hargrave, her Ladyship's temper betrayed
its accustomed infirmity. She peevishly reproached Laura with taking a
coquettish delight in giving pain; insisted that her conduct was a
tissue of cruelty and affectation; and upbraided her with
disingenuousness in pretending an indifference which she could not feel.
'And does your Ladyship communicate this opinion to Colonel Hargrave?'
said Laura, one day, fretted almost beyond her patience by a
remonstrance of two hours continuance. 'To be sure I do,' returned Lady
Pelham. 'In common humanity I will not allow him to suffer more from
your perverseness than I can avoid.' 'Well, Madam,' said Laura, with a
sigh and a shrug of impatient resignation, 'nothing remains but that I
shew a consistency, which, at least is not common to affectation.'
Lady Pelham's representations had their effect upon Hargrave. They
brought balm to his wounded pride, and he easily suffered them to
counteract the effect of Laura's calm and uniform assurances of her
indifference. While he listened to these, her apparent candour and
simplicity, the regret she expressed at the necessity of giving pain,
brought temporary conviction to his mind; and, with transports of
alternate rage and grief, he now execrated her inconstancy, then his own
unworthiness; now abjured her, then the vices which had deprived him of
her affection. But the joint efforts of Lady Pelham and Lambert always
revived hopes sufficient to make him continue a pursuit which he had not
indeed the fortitude to relinquish.
His love (if we must give that name to a selfish desire, mingled at
times with every ungentle feeling), had never been so ardent. The
well-known principle of our nature which adds charms to what is
unattainable, lent new attractions to Laura's really improved
loveliness. The smile which was reserved for others seemed but the more
enchanting; the hand which he was forbidden to touch seemed but the more
soft and snowy; the form which was kept sacred from his approach,
bewitched him with more resistless graces. Hargrave had been little
accustomed to suppress any of his feelings, and he gave vent to this
with an entire neglect of the visible uneasiness which it occasioned to
its subject. He employed the private interviews, which Lady Pelham
contrived to extort for him, in the utmost vehemence of complaint,
protestation, and entreaty. He laboured to awaken the pity of Laura; he
even condescended to appeal to her ambition; and persevered, in spite of
unequivocal denials, till Laura, disgusted, positively refused ever
again to admit him without witnesses.
His public attentions were, if possible, still more distressing to her.
Encouraged by Lady Pelham, he, notwithstanding the almost repulsive
coldness of Laura's manner, became her constant attendant. He pursued
her wherever she went; placed himself, in defiance of propriety, so as
to monopolize her conversation; and seemed to have laid aside all his
distinguishing politeness, while he neglected every other woman to
devote his assiduities to her alone. He claimed the station by her side
till Laura had the mortification to observe that others resigned it at
his approach; he snatched every opportunity of whispering his adulations
in her ear; and, far from affecting any concealment in his preference,
seemed to claim the character of her acknowledged adorer. It is
impossible to express the vexation with which Laura endured this
indelicate pre-eminence. Had Hargrave been the most irreproachable of
mankind, she would have shrunk from such obtrusive marks of his
partiality; but her sense of propriety was no less wounded by the
attendance of such a companion, than her modesty was shocked by her
being thus dragged into the notice, and committed to the mercy of the
public. The exclusive attentions of the handsome Colonel Hargrave, the
mirror of gallantry, the future Lord Lincourt, were not, however
undesired, to be possessed unenvied. Those who unsuccessfully angled for
his notice, avenged themselves on her to whom they imputed their
failure, by looks of scorn, and by sarcastic remarks, which they
sometimes contrived should reach the ear of the innocent object of their
malice. Laura, unspeakably averse to being the subject of even laudatory
observation, could sometimes scarcely restrain the tears of shame and
mortification that were wrung from her by attacks which she could
neither resent nor escape. In spite of the natural sweetness of her
temper, she was sometimes tempted to retort upon Colonel Hargrave the
vexation which he caused to her: and his officiousness almost compelled
her to forsake the civility within the bounds of which she had
determined to confine her coldness.
He complained bitterly of this treatment, and reproached her with taking
ungenerous advantage of his passion. 'Why then,' said she, 'will you
force me into the insolence of power. If you will suffer me to consider
you as a common acquaintance, I shall never claim a right to avenge on
you the wrongs of society; but approach no nearer.--I am unwilling to
express a sentiment less respectful than dislike.' The proud spirit of
Hargrave, however, could ill brook the repulses which he constantly
provoked; and often in transports of rage he would break from Laura,
swearing that he would no more submit to be thus made the sport of an
insensible tyrannical woman.
At first she submitted with patience to his injurious language, in the
hope that he would keep his oaths; but she soon found that he only
repaid her endurance of his anger by making her submit to what was yet
more painful, a renewal of his abject supplications. All her caution
could not prevent the private interviews which she granted so
unwillingly. He haunted her walks, stole upon her unannounced, detained
her almost by force at these accidental meetings, or at those which he
obtained by the favour of Lady Pelham. His whole conduct conspired to
make him an object of real dread to Laura, though her watchful
self-command and habitual benevolence preserved him from her aversion.
Sometimes she could not help wondering at the obstinacy of her
persecutor. 'Surely,' said she to him, 'after all I have said, after the
manner in which I have said it, you cannot expect any fruit from all
these rhapsodies; you must surely think your honour bound to keep them
up, at whatever hazard to the credit of your understanding.' Laura had
never herself submitted to be driven into a course of actions contrary
to reason, and it never occurred to her that her lover had no reason for
his conduct, except that he was not sufficiently master of himself to
desist from his pursuit.
From the importunities of Hargrave, however, Laura could sometimes
escape. Though they were frequent, they were of necessity intermitting.
He could not always be at Walbourne; he could not intrude into her
apartment. She visited sometimes where he was not admitted, or she could
decline the invitation which she knew extended to him. But her
persecutions by Lady Pelham had no intermission; from them she had no
retreat. Her chamber was no sanctuary from so familiar a friend; and the
presence of strangers only served to exercise her Ladyship in that
ingenious species of conversation which addresses to the sense of one
of the company what it conveys to the ear of the rest.
For some time she employed all her forces in combating Laura's supposed
affectation; and when, not without extreme difficulty, she was convinced
that she strove against a phantom of her own creation, she next employed
her efforts to alter her niece's determination. She tried to rouse her
ambition; and again and again expatiated on all the real and on all the
imaginary advantages of wealth and title. The theme in her Ladyship's
hands seemed inexhaustible, though Laura repeatedly declared that no
earthly thing could be less in her esteem than distinctions which she
must share with such a person as Hargrave. Every day and all day, the
subject was canvassed, and the oft-confuted argument vamped up anew,
till Laura was thoroughly weary of the very names of rank, and
influence, and coronets, and coaches.
Next, her Ladyship was eloquent upon Laura's implacability. 'Those who
were so very unforgiving,' she supposed, 'were conscious that they had
no need to be forgiven. Such people might pretend to be Christians, but
in her opinion such pretensions were mere hypocrisy.' Laura stood amazed
at the strength of self-deception which could produce this sentiment
from lips which had pronounced inextinguishable resentment against an
only child. Recovering herself, she calmly made the obvious reply, 'that
she entertained no enmity against Hargrave; that on the contrary she
sincerely wished him every blessing, and the best of all blessings, a
renewed mind; but that the Christian precept was never meant to make the
vicious and the impure the denizens of our bosoms.' It might be thought
that such a reply was quite sufficient, but Lady Pelham possessed one
grand qualification for a disputant; she defied conviction. She could
shift, and turn, and bewilder, till she found herself precisely at the
point from whence she set out.
She had a practice, too, of all others the most galling to an ingenuous
and independent spirit--she would invent a set of opinions and
sentiments, and then argue upon them as if they were real. It was in
vain for Laura to disclaim them. Lady Pelham could prove
incontrovertibly that they were Laura's sentiments; or, which was the
same thing, proceeded as if she had proved it. She insisted that Laura
acted on a principle of revenge against Hargrave, for the slight his
inconstancy had put upon her; and argued most convincingly on the folly
and wickedness of a revengeful spirit. Laura in vain protested her
innocence. Lady Pelham was certain of the fact; and she dilated on the
guilt of such a sentiment, and extenuated the temporary recession of
Hargrave, till a bystander must have concluded that Laura was the
delinquent, and he her harmless victim. Her Ladyship declared, that,
'she did not wonder at her niece's obduracy. She had never, in her life,
known a person of cool temper who was capable of forgiving. She had
reason, for her own part, to be thankful that, if she had the failings
of a warm temper, she had its advantages too. She had never, except in
one instance, known what it was to feel permanent displeasure.'
On this topic Lady Pelham had the more room for her eloquence, because
it admitted of no reply; and, perhaps, for this reason it was the sooner
exhausted; for it had not been discussed above half a dozen times,
before she forsook it in order to assert her claims to influence her
niece's decision. And here her Ladyship was suddenly convinced of the
indefensible rights of relationship. 'She stood in the place of Laura's
parents, and in their title might claim authority.' But finding Laura
firmly of opinion that parental authority extended no further than a
negative voice, Lady Pelham laid aside the imperative tone to take up
that of entreaty. 'She would not advance the claim which her tried
friendship might give her to advise; she would only beseech, conjure.
She hoped her importunities would be forgiven, as they could proceed
only from the tenderest regard to her dear girl's wishes. Laura was her
only hope; the sole being on earth to whom her widowed heart clung with
partial affection--and to see her thus throw away her happiness was more
than her Ladyship could bear.' Closely as Laura had studied her aunt's
character, and well as it was now known to her, she was sometimes
overpowered by these expressions of love and sorrow; and wept as she was
compelled to repeat that her happiness and her duty must alike be
sacrificed ere she could yield to the wishes of her friend. But as she
never, even in these moments of softness, betrayed the smallest symptom
of compliance, Lady Pelham had not patience to adhere to the only method
of attack that possessed a chance of success.
Of all her arts of teazing, this was indeed the most distressing to a
person of Laura's sensibility, and she felt not a little relieved when,
exasperated by the failure of all her efforts, Lady Pelham burst into
vehement upbraidings of her niece's hardness of heart. 'She could not
have conceived,' she said, 'such obduracy in one so young; in woman too;
a creature who should be all made up of softness. Laura might pique
herself upon her stoicism, but a Zeno in petticoats was, in her
opinion, a monster. For her part she could never resist entreaty in her
life.'
'Then I beseech you Madam,' said Laura, after having patiently submitted
to be baited thus for three full hours, 'do not make mine an exception;
but for pity's sake be prevailed upon to drop this subject. I assure you
it can have no effect but to distress me.'
'You may be determined, Miss Montreville, that all my endeavours shall
be in vain, but I shall certainly never be so far wanting to my duty as
to neglect pressing upon you a match so much for your honour and
advantage.'
'Is it possible,' cried Laura, losing patience at this prospect of the
continuation of her persecutions, 'that your Ladyship can think it for
my "advantage" to marry a man I despise; for my "honour" to share the
infamy of an adulterer!'
'Upon my word, Miss Montreville,' returned Lady Pelham, reddening with
anger, 'I am constrained to admire the delicacy of your language; so
very suitable to the lips of so very delicate a lady.'
A smile, not wholly free from sarcasm, played on Laura's lips. 'If
delicacy,' said she, 'be henceforth to find so strenuous a supporter in
your Ladyship, I shall hope to be exempted in future from all
remonstrance on the subject of this evening's altercation.'
If Laura really entertained the hope she mentioned, she was miserably
disappointed; for Lady Pelham remitted not a jot of her tormentings. Her
remonstrances were administered in every possible form, upon every
possible occasion. They seasoned every tte  tte, were insinuated into
every conversation. Laura's attempts to avoid the subject were
altogether vain. The discourse might begin with the conquests of Gengis
Khan, but it always ended with the advantages of marrying Colonel
Hargrave.
Teazed and persecuted, disturbed in every useful occupation and every
domestic enjoyment, Laura often considered of the possibility of
delivering herself from her indefatigable tormentors, by quitting the
protection of her aunt and taking refuge with Mrs Douglas. But this plan
she had unfortunately deprived herself of the means of executing.
Laura knew that her cousins, the Herberts, were poor. She knew that Mrs
Herbert was in a situation which needs comforts that poverty cannot
command, and it was vain to expect these comforts from the maternal
compassion of Lady Pelham. She therefore determined to supply them, as
far as possible, from her own little fund; and fearing that a gift from
her might revolt the high spirit of Herbert, she inclosed almost all her
half-year's annuity in a blank cover, and conveyed it to her cousin. All
that she retained was a sum far too small to defray the expence of a
journey to Scotland; and several months were to elapse before she could
recruit her fund. Till then, she had no resource but patience; and she
endeavoured to console herself with a hope that in time the perseverance
of her adversaries would fail.
Often did she with a sigh turn her eyes towards Norwood--Norwood, the
seat of all the peaceful domestic virtues; where the voice of contention
was unheard, where courtly politeness, though duly honoured, held the
second place to the courtesy of the heart. But Mrs De Courcy had never
hinted a wish that Laura should be a permanent inmate of her family,
and, even if she had, there would have been a glaring impropriety in
forsaking Lady Pelham's house for one in its immediate neighbourhood. De
Courcy, too, she thought, was not the kind friend he was wont to be. She
had of late seen him seldom, which was probably caused by the marked
coolness of Lady Pelham's reception; but it had happened unfortunately
that he had twice surprised her in the midst of Hargrave's
extravagancies, when she almost feared to speak to him, lest she should
awaken the furious jealousy to which her tormentor was subject, and she
dreaded that her father's friend (for so she loved to call him)
suspected her of encouraging the addresses of such a lover. During these
visits he had looked, she thought, displeased, and had early taken
leave. Was it kind to judge her unheard? Perhaps, if an opportunity had
been given her, she might have assumed courage to exculpate herself;
but, without even calling to ask her commands, De Courcy was gone with
Mr Bolingbroke to London, to make arrangements for Harriet's marriage.
CHAPTER XXVI
Though Laura could not escape the attacks of Lady Pelham, she sometimes
found means to elude those of Hargrave. She watched his approach; and
whenever he appeared, intrenched herself in her own apartment. She
confined herself almost entirely to the house, and excused herself from
every visit where she thought he might be of the party. He besieged her
with letters; she sent them back unopened. Lady Pelham commanded her to
be present during his visits; she respectfully, but peremptorily,
refused to comply.
She had thus remained a sort of prisoner for some weeks, when her aunt
one morning entered her room with an aspect which Laura could not well
decipher. 'Well, Miss Montreville,' said she, 'you have at last
accomplished your purpose; your capricious tyranny has prevailed at
last; Colonel Hargrave leaves--this morning.' 'Dear Madam,' cried Laura,
starting up overjoyed, 'what a deliverance!' 'Oh to be sure, mighty
cause you have to congratulate yourself upon a deliverance from a man
who might aspire to the first woman in England! But you will never have
it in your power to throw away such another offer. You need hardly
expect to awaken such another passion.'
'I hope, with all my heart, I shall not; but are you certain he will
go?' 'Oh, very certain. He has written to tell me so!' 'I trust he will
keep his word,' said Laura; 'and when I am sure he is gone, I will beg
of your Ladyship to excuse me for a few hours, while I walk to Norwood.
I have been so shackled of late! but the first use I make of my liberty
shall be to visit my friends.' 'I am afraid, my dear,' returned Lady
Pelham, with more gentleness than she was accustomed to use in
contradiction, 'you will scarcely find time to visit Mrs De Courcy. I
have long promised to pass some time with my friend Mrs Bathurst; and I
propose setting off to-morrow. I should die of ennui here, now I have
lost the society that has of late given me so much pleasure.'--'Mrs
Bathurst, Madam? she who was formerly'--'Poh, poh, child,' interrupted
Lady Pelham, 'don't stir up the embers of decayed slander--Will you
never learn to forget the little mistakes of your fellow-creatures? Mrs
Bathurst makes one of the best wives in the world; and to a man with
whom everybody would not live so well.'
Practice had made Laura pretty expert in interpreting her aunt's
language, and she understood more in the present instance than it was
meant she should comprehend. She had heard of Mrs Bathurst's fame, and,
knowing that it was not quite spotless, was rather averse to being the
companion of Lady Pelham's visit; but she never, without mature
deliberation, refused compliance with her aunt's wishes; and she
resolved to consider the matter before announcing opposition. Besides
she was determined to carry her point of seeing Mrs De Courcy, and
therefore did not wish to introduce any other subject of altercation.
'Though I should accompany you to-morrow, Madam,' said she, 'I shall
have time sufficient for my walk to Norwood. The preparations for my
journey cannot occupy an hour; and, if I go to Norwood now,' added she,
tying on her bonnet, 'I can return early. Good morning, Madam; to-day I
may walk in peace.'
Laura felt as if a mountain had been lifted from her breast as she
bounded across the lawn, and thought that Colonel Hargrave was, by this
time, miles distant from Walbourne; but as she pursued her way, she
began to wonder that Lady Pelham seemed so little moved by his
departure. It was strange that she, who had remonstrated so warmly, so
unceasingly, against Laura's behaviour to him, did not more vehemently
upbraid her with its consequences. Lady Pelham's forbearance was not in
character--Laura did not know how to explain it. 'I have taken her by
surprise,' thought she, 'with my excursion to Norwood, but she will
discuss it at large in the evening; and probably in many an evening--I
shall never hear the last of it.'
It was needless, however, to anticipate evil, and Laura turned her
thoughts to the explanation which she was bent on making to her friends.
The more she reflected, the more she was persuaded that De Courcy
suspected her of encouraging the addresses of Hargrave; addresses now
provokingly notorious to all the neighbourhood. He had most probably
communicated the same opinion to his mother; and Laura wished much to
exculpate herself, if she could do so without appearing officiously
communicative. If she could meet Mr De Courcy alone, if he should lead
to the subject, or if it should accidentally occur, she thought she
might be able to speak freely to him; more freely than even to Mrs De
Courcy. 'It is strange, too,' thought she, 'that I should feel so little
restraint with a person of the other sex; less than ever I did with one
of my own.--But my father's friend ought not to be classed with other
men.'
Her eyes yet swam in tears of grateful recollection, when she raised
them to a horseman who was meeting her. It was Montague De Courcy; and,
as he leisurely advanced, Laura's heart beat with a hope that he would,
as he had often done before, dismount to accompany her walk. But
Montague, though evidently in no haste to reach the place of his
destination, stopped only to make a slight inquiry after her health, and
then passed on. Laura's bosom swelled with grief, unmixed with
resentment. 'He thinks,' said she, 'that I invite the attentions of a
libertine; and is it surprising that he should withdraw his friendship
from me! But he will soon know his error.' And again she more cheerfully
pursued her way.
Her courage failed her a little as she entered Norwood. 'What if Mrs De
Courcy too should receive me coldly,' thought she; 'Can I notice it to
her? Can I beg of her to listen to my justification?' These thoughts
gave Laura an air of timidity and embarrassment as she entered the room
where Mrs De Courcy was sitting alone. Her fears were groundless. Mrs De
Courcy received her with kindness, gently reproaching her for her long
absence. Laura assured her that it was wholly involuntary, but 'of
late,' said she, hesitating, 'I have been very little from home.' Mrs De
Courcy gave a faint melancholy smile; but did not inquire what had
confined her young friend. 'Harriet has just left me,' said she, 'to pay
some visits, and to secure the presence of a companion for a very
important occasion. She meant also to solicit yours, if three weeks
hence you are still to be capable of acting as a bridemaid.' Laura
smiling was about to reply, that being in no danger of forfeiting that
privilege, she would most joyfully attend Miss De Courcy; but she met a
glance of such marked, such mournful scrutiny, that she stopped; and the
next moment was covered with blushes. 'Ah!' thought she, 'Mrs De Courcy
indeed believes all that I feared, and more than I feared--What can I
say to her?'
Her embarrassment confirmed Mrs De Courcy's belief; but, unwilling
further to distress Laura, she said, 'Harriet herself will talk over all
these matters with you, and then your own peculiar manner will soften
the refusal into somewhat almost as pleasing as consent; if indeed you
are obliged to refuse.' 'Indeed, Madam,' said Laura, 'nothing can be
further from my thoughts than refusal; I shall most willingly, most
gladly, attend Miss De Courcy; but may I--will you allow me to--to ask
you why you should expect me to refuse?' 'And if I answer you,' returned
Mrs De Courcy, 'will you promise to be candid with me on a subject where
ladies think that candour may be dispensed with?' 'I will promise to be
candid with you on every subject,' said Laura, rejoiced at this
opportunity of entering on her justification. 'Then I will own to you,'
said Mrs De Courcy, 'that circumstances have conspired with public
report to convince me that you are yourself about to need the good
office which Harriet solicits from you. Colonel Hargrave and you share
between you the envy of our little world of fashion.' 'And have you,
Madam--has Harriet--has Mr De Courcy given credit to this vexatious
report!' cried Laura, the tears of mortification filling her eyes. 'Ah
how differently should I have judged of you!'--'My dearest girl,' said
Mrs De Courcy, surprised but delighted, 'I assure you that none of us
would, upon slight grounds, believe any thing concerning you, that you
would not wish us to credit. But, in this instance, I thought my
authority indisputable; Lady Pelham'--'Is it possible,' cried Laura,
'that my aunt could propagate such a report, when she knew the teasing,
the persecution that I have endured.' 'Lady Pelham did not directly
assure me of its truth;' answered Mrs De Courcy; 'but when I made
inquiries, somewhat, I own, in the hope of being empowered to contradict
the rumour, her answer was certainly calculated to make me believe that
you were soon to be lost to us.'--'Lost indeed!' exclaimed Laura. 'But
what could be my aunt's intention. Surely she cannot still expect to
prevail with me. My dear friend, if you knew what I have suffered from
her importunities.--But she has only my advantage in view, though,
surely, she widely mistakes the means.'
Laura now frankly informed Mrs De Courcy of the inquietude she had
suffered from the persevering remonstrances of Lady Pelham, and the
obtrusive assiduities of Hargrave. Mrs De Courcy, though she sincerely
pitied the comfortless situation of Laura, listened with pleasure to the
tale. 'And is all this confidential?' said she, 'so confidential that I
must not mention it even to Montague or Harriet?' 'Oh no, indeed,
Madam,' cried Laura; 'I wish, above all things, that Mr De Courcy should
know it; tell him all, Madam; and tell him too, that I would rather be
in my grave than marry Colonel Hargrave.' Laura had scarcely spoken ere
she blushed for the warmth with which she spoke, and Mrs De Courcy's
smile made her blush again, and more deeply. But the plea which excused
her to herself she the next moment urged to her friend. 'Ah, Madam,'
said she, 'if you had witnessed Mr De Courcy's kindness to my father; if
you had known how my father loved him, you would not wonder that I am
anxious for his good opinion.' 'I do not wonder, my love,' said Mrs De
Courcy, in a tone of heartfelt affection. 'I should be much more
surprised if such a mind as yours could undervalue the esteem of a man
like Montague. But why did not my sweet Laura take refuge from her
tormentors at Norwood, where no officious friends, no obtrusive lovers
would have disturbed her quiet?'
Laura excused herself, by saying that she was sure her aunt would never
have consented to her absence for more than a few hours; but she
promised, now that Lady Pelham's particular reason for detaining her was
removed, that she would endeavour to obtain permission to spend some
time at Norwood. 'I fear I must first pay a much less agreeable visit,'
continued Laura, 'for my aunt talks of carrying me to-morrow to the
house of a Mrs Bathurst, of whom you probably have heard.' Mrs De Courcy
knew that Lady Pelham was on terms of intimacy with Mrs Bathurst, yet
she could not help feeling some surprise that she should choose to
introduce her niece to such a chaperon. She did not, however, think it
proper, by expressing her opinion, to heighten Laura's reluctance
towards what she probably could not prevent; and therefore merely
expressed a strong wish that Lady Pelham would permit Laura to spend the
time of her absence at Norwood. Laura, though she heartily wished the
same, knew her aunt too well to expect that a purpose which she had once
announced she would relinquish merely because it would interfere with
the inclinations of others. Still it was not impossible that it might be
relinquished. A thousand things might happen to alter Lady Pelham's
resolution, though they were invincible by entreaty. Laura lingered with
Mrs De Courcy for several hours, and when at last she was obliged to go,
received, at parting, many a kind injunction to remember her promised
visit. As she bent her steps homeward, she revolved in her mind every
chance of escape from being the companion of her aunt's journey. She was
the more averse to attend Lady Pelham because she conjectured that they
would not return before Miss De Courcy's marriage, on which occasion
Laura was unwilling to be absent. But she was sensible that neither this
nor any other reason she could urge, would in the least affect Lady
Pelham's motions. Derham Green, the seat of Mrs Bathurst, was above
ninety miles from Walbourne; and it was not likely that Lady Pelham
would travel so far with the intention of making a short visit.
Laura had quitted the avenue of Norwood and entered the lane which led
to that of Walbourne, when the noise of singing, for it could not be
called music, made her look round; and she perceived that she was
overtaken by a figure in a dingy regimental coat, and a rusty hat,
which, however, regained some of its original shade by a contrast with
the grey side-locks which blew up a-thwart it. This person was applying
the whole force of his lungs to the utterance of 'Hearts of Oak,' in a
voice, the masculine bass of which was at times oddly interrupted by the
weak treble tones of age, while, with a large crabstick, he beat time
against the sides of a starveling ass upon which he was mounted. The
other hand was charged with the double employment of guiding the animal,
and of balancing a large portmanteau, which was placed across its
shoulders. Laura, retaining the habits of her country, addressed the man
with a few words of courtesy, to which he replied with the frankness and
garrulity of an old Englishman; and as they proceeded at much the same
pace, they continued the conversation. It was, however, soon
interrupted. At the gate of a grass field, with which the ass seemed
acquainted, the creature made a full stop.--'Get on,' cried the man,
striking it with his heel. It would not stir. The rider applied the
crabstick more vigorously than before. It had no effect; even an ass can
despise the chastisement with which it is too familiar. The contention
was obstinate; neither party seemed inclined to yield. At last fortune
decided in favour of the ass. The portmanteau slipped from its balance,
and fell to the ground. The man looked dolefully at it. 'How the plague
shall I get it up again?' said he. 'Don't dismount,' said Laura, who now
first observed that her companion had but one leg--'I can lift it up for
you.'
As she raised it, Laura observed that it was directed to Mr Jones, at
Squire Bathurst's, Derham Green, ----shire. Though the name was too
common to excite any suspicion, the address struck her as being the same
place which had so lately occupied her thoughts. 'Have you far to go,'
said she to the man. 'No, Ma'am,' answered he, 'only to Job Wilson, the
carrier's, with this portmanteau, for Colonel Hargrave's gentleman. The
Colonel took Mr Jones with himself in the chay, but he had only room for
one or two of his boxes, so he left this with the groom, and the groom
gave me a pot of porter to go with it.'
The whole affair was now clear. Lady Pelham, finding Laura unmanageable
at home, was contriving that she should meet Colonel Hargrave at a place
where, being among strangers, she would find it less possible to avoid
him. Mrs Bathurst too was probably a good convenient friend, who would
countenance whatever measures were thought necessary. In the first burst
of indignation at the discovery of her aunt's treachery, Laura thought
of retracing her steps to Norwood, never more to enter the presence of
her unworthy relation; but, resentment cooling at the recollection of
the benefits she owed to Lady Pelham, she determined on returning to
Walbourne, to announce in person her refusal to go with her aunt;
conceiving this to be the most respectful way of intimating her
intentions.
As soon as she returned home she retired to her chamber without seeing
Lady Pelham; and immediately dispatched the following note to Mrs De
Courcy. 'My dear Madam, an accident has happened which determines me
against going to Derham Green. Will you think I presume too soon on your
kind invitation, if I say that I shall see you to-morrow at breakfast?
Or will not your benevolence rather acquire a new motive in the
shelterless condition which awaits your very affectionate L.M.'
She then proceeded to make arrangements for her departure, reflecting,
with tears, on the hard necessity which was about to set her at variance
with the only living relation who had ever acknowledged her. She knew
that Lady Pelham would be enraged at the frustration of a scheme, to
accomplish which she had stooped to such artifice; and she feared that,
however gentle might be the terms of her intended refusal, her aunt
would consider it as unpardonable rebellion. She was, however, firmly
resolved against compliance, and all that remained was to use the least
irritating mode of denial.
They met at dinner. Lady Pelham in high good humour, Laura grave and
thoughtful. Lady Pelham mentioned her journey; but, dreading to rouse
her aunt's unwearied power's of objurgation, Laura kept silence; and her
just displeasure rendering her averse to Lady Pelham's company, she
contrived to spend the evening alone.
As the supper hour approached, Laura began to tremble for the contest
which awaited her. She felt herself more than half inclined to withdraw
from the storm, by departing without warning, and leaving Lady Pelham to
discover the reason of her flight after she was beyond the reach of her
fury. But she considered that such a proceeding must imply an
irreconcilable breach with one to whom she owed great and substantial
obligations; and would carry an appearance of ingratitude which she
could not bear to incur. Summoning her courage, therefore, she resolved
to brave the tempest. She determined, that whatever provocation she
might endure, she would offer none but such as was unavoidable; though,
at the same time, she would maintain that spirit which she had always
found the most effectual check to her aunt's violence.
The supper passed in quiet; Laura unwilling to begin the attack; Lady
Pelham glorying in her expected success. Her Ladyship had taken her
candle, and was about to retire, before Laura durst venture on the
subject. 'Good night, my dear,' said Lady Pelham. 'I fear,' replied
Laura, 'I may rather say farewell, since it will be so long ere I see
you again.' 'How do you mean!' inquired Lady Pelham. 'That I cannot
accompany you to Mrs Bathurst's,' replied Laura; fetching, at the close
of her speech, a breath longer than the speech itself. 'You won't go?'
exclaimed Lady Pelham, in a voice of angry astonishment. 'Since it is
your wish that I should,' returned Laura meekly, 'I am sorry that it is
not in my power.' 'And pray what puts it out of your power?' cried Lady
Pelham, wrath working in her countenance. 'I cannot go where I am to
meet Colonel Hargrave.' For a moment Lady Pelham looked confounded, but
presently recovering utterance, she began--'So! this is your Norwood
intelligence; and your charming Mrs De Courcy--your model of
perfection--sets spies upon the conduct of all the neighbourhood!'
Laura reddened at this vulgar abuse of the woman on earth whom she most
revered; but she had set a guard on her temper, and only answered, that
it was not at Norwood she received her information. 'A fortunate, I
should rather say a providential accident,' said she, 'disclosed to me
the whole'--the word 'strategem' was rising to her lips, but she
exchanged it for one less offensive.
'And what if Colonel Hargrave is to be there?' said Lady Pelham, her
choler rising as her confusion subsided. 'I suppose, forsooth, my pretty
prudish Miss cannot trust herself in the house with a man!' 'Not with
Colonel Hargrave, Madam,' said Laura coolly.
Lady Pelham's rage was now strong enough to burst the restraints of
Laura's habitual ascendancy. 'But I say you shall go, Miss,' cried she
in a scream that mingled the fierceness of anger with the insolence of
command. 'Yes I say you shall go; we shall see whether I am always to
truckle to a baby-faced chit, a creature that might have died in a
workhouse but for my charity.' 'Indeed, Madam,' said Laura, 'I do not
forget--I never shall forget--what I owe you; nor that when I was
shelterless and unprotected, you received and cherished me.' 'Then shew
that you remember it, and do what I desire,' returned Lady Pelham,
softened in spite of herself, by the resistless sweetness of Laura's
look and manner. 'Do not, I beseech you, Madam,' said Laura, 'insist
upon this proof of my gratitude. If you do, I can only thank you for
your past kindness, and wish that it had been in my power to make a
better return.' 'Do you dare to tell me that you will not go?' cried
Lady Pelham, stamping till the room shook. 'I beg, Madam,' said Laura
entreatingly, 'I beg of you not to command what I shall be compelled to
refuse.' 'Refuse at your peril!' shrieked Lady Pelham, in a voice scarce
articulate with passion, and grasping Laura's arm in the convulsion of
her rage.
Laura had some times been the witness, but seldom the object of her
aunt's transports; and while Lady Pelham stood eyeing her with a
countenance 'fierce as ten furies,' she, conscious with what burning
shame she would herself have shrunk from making such an exhibition,
sympathetically averted her eyes as if the virago had been sensible of
the same feeling. 'I say refuse at your peril!' cried Lady Pelham.--'Why
don't you speak? obstinate'--'Because,' answered Laura with saintlike
meekness, 'I can say nothing but what will offend you--I cannot go to
Mrs Bathurst's.'
Angry opposition Lady Pelham might have retorted with some small remains
of self-possession, but the serenity of Laura exasperating her beyond
all bounds, she was so far transported as to strike her a violent blow.
Without uttering a syllable, Laura took her candle and quitted the room;
while Lady Pelham, herself confounded at the outrage she had committed,
made no attempt to detain her.
Laura retired to her chamber, and sat quietly down to consider the state
of her warfare, which she determined to conclude by letter, without
exposing her person to another assault; but in a few minutes she was
stormed in her citadel, and the enemy entered, conscious of mistake, but
with spirit unbroken. Lady Pelham had gone too far to retract, and was
too much in the wrong to recant her error; her passion, however, had
somewhat exhausted itself in the intemperate exercise which she had
allowed it; and though as unreasonable as ever, she was less outrageous.
Advancing towards Laura with an air intended to express offended majesty
(for studied dignity is generally the disguise chosen by conscious
degradation), she began, 'Miss Montreville, do you, in defiance of my
commands, adhere to your resolution of not visiting Mrs Bathurst?'
'Certainly, Madam;' replied Laura, provoked that Lady Pelham should
expect to intimidate her by a blow; 'I have seen no reason to relinquish
it.'--'There is a reason, however,' returned Lady Pelham, elevating her
chin, curling her upper lip, and giving Laura the side-glance of
disdain, 'though probably it is too light to weigh with such a
determined lady, and that is, that you must either prepare to attend me
to-morrow, or return to that beggary from which I took you, and never
more enter my presence.' 'Then, Madam,' said Laura, rising with her
native mien of calm command, 'we must part; for I cannot go to Mrs
Bathurst's.'
Laura's cool resistance of a threat which was expected to be all
powerful, discomposed Lady Pelham's heroics. Her eyes flashing fire, and
her voice sharpening to a scream, 'Perverse ungrateful wretch!' she
cried, 'Get out of my sight--leave my house this instant.' 'Certainly,
if you desire it, Madam,' answered Laura, with unmoved self-possession;
'but, perhaps, if you please, I had better remain here till morning. I
am afraid it might give rise to unpleasant observations if it were known
that I left your house at midnight.'
'I care not who knows it--I would have the world see what a viper I have
fostered in my bosom. Begone, and never let me see your hypocritical
face again.'
'Then I hope,' said Laura, 'your Ladyship will allow a servant to
accompany me to Norwood. At this hour it would be improper for me to go
alone.' 'Oh to be sure,' cried Lady Pelham, 'do go to your friend and
favourite and make your complaint of all your harsh usage, and descant
at large upon poor Lady Pelham's unlucky failings. No, no, I promise
you, no servant of mine shall be sent on any such errand.' 'There is
fine moonlight,' said Laura looking calmly from the window, 'I dare say
I shall be safe enough alone.' 'You shall not go to Norwood!' cried Lady
Pelham--'I'll take care to keep you from that prying, censorious old
hag. You two shan't be allowed to sit primming up your mouths, and
spitting venom on all the neighbourhood.' Weary of such low abuse, Laura
took her bonnet, and was leaving the room. Lady Pelham placed herself
between her and the door. 'Where are you going?' she demanded, in a
voice in which rage was a little mingled with dread. 'To the only
shelter that England affords me,' returned Laura; 'to the only friends
from whom death or distance does not sever me.' 'I shall spoil your dish
of scandal for to-night, however,' said Lady Pelham, flouncing out of
the room; and, slapping the door with a force that made the windows
rattle, she locked it on the outside. Laura making no attempt to obtain
release, quietly sat down expecting a renewal of the charge. Soon,
however, all the household seemed still, and Laura having mingled with
the prayer that commended herself to the care of heaven, a supplication
for pardon and amendment to her aunt, retired to sound and refreshing
rest.
On quitting Laura, Lady Pelham went to bed, pride and anger in her
breast fiercely struggling against a sense of blame. But the darkness,
the silence, the loneliness of night assuage the passions even of a
termagant; and by degrees she turned from re-acting and excusing her
conduct, to fretting at its probable consequences.
The courage of a virago is no more than the daring of intoxication. Wait
till the paroxysms be past, and the timid hare is not more the slave of
fear. Lady Pelham began to feel, though she would scarcely acknowledge
it to herself, how very absurdly her contest would figure in the mouths
of the gossips round Walbourne. If her niece left her house in
displeasure, if a breach were known to subsist between them, was it not
most likely that Laura would in her own defence relate the treatment to
which she had been subjected? At all events, if she went to Norwood
before a reconciliation took place, she would certainly explain her
situation to Mrs De Courcy; and Lady Pelham could not brave the contempt
of the woman whom she disliked and abused. Anger has been compared to a
short madness, and the resemblance holds in this respect, that in both
cases, a little terror is of sovereign use in restoring quiet. Lady
Pelham even feared the calm displeasure of Laura, and shrunk from
meeting the reproving eye of even the dependent girl whom she had
persecuted and reproached and insulted. By degrees, Laura's habitual
ascendancy was completely restored, perhaps with added strength for its
momentary suspension; for she had rather gained in respectability by
patient endurance, while Lady Pelham was somewhat humbled by a sense of
misconduct. Besides, in the course of eight months residence under her
roof, Laura was become necessary to her aunt. Her prudence, her good
temper, her various domestic talents, were ever at hand to supply the
capital defects of Lady Pelham's character. Lady Pelham could not justly
be said to love any mortal, but she felt the advantages of the method
and regularity which Laura had introduced into her family; Laura's
beauty gratified her vanity; Laura's sweetness bore with her caprice;
Laura's talents amused her solitude; and she made as near an approach as
nature would permit to loving Laura. What was of more consequence, Laura
was popular in the neighbourhood; her story would be no sooner told than
believed; and Lady Pelham's lively imagination strongly represented to
her the aggravation, commentary, and sarcasm, with which such an
anecdote would be circulated.
But though these ideas floated in Lady Pelham's mind, let it not be
thought that she once supposed them to be the motives of her
determination to seek a reconcilement! No. Lady Pelham had explained,
and disguised, and adorned her failings, till she had converted the
natural shame of confession into a notion that a candid avowal atoned
for any of her errors; and no sooner did she begin to think of making
concessions to her niece, than the consciousness of blame was lost in
inward applause of her own candour and condescension. An observing eye,
therefore, would have seen more of conceit than of humility in her air,
when early in the morning, she entered Laura's apartment. Laura was
already dressed, and returned her aunt's salutation more coldly than she
had ever formerly done, though with perfect good humour. Lady Pelham
approached and took her hand; Laura did not withdraw it. 'I fear,' said
Lady Pelham, 'you think I behaved very absurdly last night.' Laura
looked down and said nothing. 'I am willing to own I was to blame,'
continued her Ladyship, 'but people of strong feelings, you know, my
dear, cannot always command themselves.' Laura was still silent. 'We
must forgive and forget the failings of our friends,' proceeded her
Ladyship. Laura, who dreaded that these overtures of peace only covered
a projected attack, still stood speechless. 'Will you not forgive me,
Laura?' said Lady Pelham coaxingly, her desire of pardon increasing, as
she began to doubt of obtaining it. 'I do, Madam,' said Laura, clasping
Lady Pelham's hand between her own. 'I do from my heart forgive all, and
if you will permit me, I will forget all--all but that when I was an
orphan, alone in the wide world, you sheltered and protected me.' 'Thank
you, my good girl,' returned Lady Pelham, sealing the reconciliation
with a kiss. 'I knew you would think it a duty to excuse an error
arising merely from my natural warmth, and the interest I take in
you--"A bad effect from a noble cause." It is a melancholy truth that
those who have the advantages of a feeling heart, must share its
weaknesses too.' Laura had so often listened to similar nonsense, that
it had ceased to provoke a smile. 'Let us talk of this no more,' said
she; 'let me rather try to persuade you not only to excuse, but to
sanction the obstinacy that offended you.' 'Ah Laura,' returned Lady
Pelham, smiling, 'I must not call you obstinate, but you are very firm.
If I could but prevail on you to go with me only for a day or two, I
should make my visit as short as you please; for now it has been all
arranged I must go, and it would look so awkward to go without you!' 'If
the length of your visit depend upon me,' answered Laura, waving a
subject on which she was determined not to forfeit her character for
firmness, 'it shall be short indeed, for I shall long to offer some
reparation for all my late perverseness and disobedience.'
At another time Lady Pelham's temper would have failed her at this
steady opposition of her will; but fear kept her in check. After a few
very gentle expostulations, she gave up the point, and inquired whether
her niece still intended to spend the time of her absence at Norwood.
Laura answered that she did; and had promised to breakfast there that
morning. Upon this Lady Pelham overwhelmed her with such caresses and
endearments, as she intended should obliterate the remembrance of her
late injurious behaviour. She extolled Laura's prudence, her sweet and
forgiving disposition, her commendable reserve with strangers, and her
caution in speaking of herself or of her own affairs. Unfortunately for
the effect of the flattery, Laura recollected that some of these
qualities had at times been the subject of Lady Pelham's severe
reprehension. She had, besides, sufficient penetration to detect the
motive of her Ladyship's altered language; and she strove to suppress a
feeling of contempt, while she replied to her aunt's thoughts as freely
as if they had been frankly spoken; assuring her that she should be far
from publishing to strangers the casual vexations of her domestic life.
Lady Pelham reddened, as her latent thoughts were thus seized and
exposed naked to her view; but fear again proved victorious, and she
redoubled her blandishments. She even had recourse to a new expedient,
and for the first time made Laura an offer of money. With infinite
difficulty did Laura suppress the indignation which swelled her breast.
She had forgiven abuse and insult, but it was beyond endurance that her
aunt should suppose that her pardon and silence might be bought.
Restraining her anger, however, she positively refused the money; and
bidding Lady Pelham farewell, departed, amidst pressing injunctions to
remain at Norwood no longer than till her aunt returned to Walbourne;
her Ladyship protesting that her own home would not be endurable for an
hour without the company of her dear Laura.
Lady Pelham unwillingly set out on a journey of which the first
intention had been totally defeated; but she had no alternative, since,
besides having promised to visit Mrs Bathurst, she had made an
appointment to meet Hargrave at the stage where she was to stop for the
night, and it was now too late to give him warning of his
disappointment. Even Hargrave's politeness was no match for his
vexation, when he saw Lady Pelham, late in the evening, alight from her
carriage, unaccompanied by Laura. He listened with impatience to her
Ladyship's apology and confused explanations; and more than half
resolved upon returning to -- to carry on his operations there. But he
too had promised to Mrs Bathurst, whom for particular reasons he wished
not to disoblige. The travellers, therefore, next day pursued their
journey to Derham Green, beguiling the way by joint contrivances to
conquer the stubbornness of Laura.
CHAPTER XXVII
Laura had proceeded but a short way towards Norwood when she was met by
De Courcy, who, with a manner the most opposite to his coldness on the
preceding day, sprang forward to meet her, his countenance radiant with
pleasure. Laura, delighted with the change, playfully reproached him
with his caprice. Montague coloured, but defended himself with spirit;
and a dialogue, more resembling flirtation than any in which Laura had
ever engaged, occupied them till, as they loitered along the dark avenue
of Norwood, a shade of the sentimental began to mingle with their
conversation. De Courcy had that morning resolved, firmly resolved, that
while Laura was his guest at Norwood, he would avoid a declaration of
his sentiments. Convinced, as he now was, that he no longer had any
thing to fear from the perseverance of Hargrave, he was yet far from
being confident of his own success. On the contrary, he was persuaded
that he had hitherto awakened in Laura no sentiment beyond friendship,
and that she must become accustomed to him as a lover, before he could
hope for any farther grace. He considered how embarrassing would be her
situation in a house of which the master was a repulsed, perhaps a
rejected, admirer; and he had determined not to hazard embittering to
her a residence from which she had at present no retreat. Yet the
confiding manner, the bewitching loveliness of Laura, the stillness,
shade, and solitude of their path had half-beguiled him of his prudence,
when, fortunately for his resolution, he saw Harriet advancing to meet
her friend. Harriet's liveliness soon restored gaiety to the
conversation; and the party proceeded less leisurely than before to
Norwood, where Laura was received with affectionate cordiality by Mrs De
Courcy.
Never had the time appeared to Laura to fly so swiftly as now. Every
hour was sacred to improvement, to elegance, or to benevolence. Laura
had a mind capable of intense application; and therefore could exalt
relaxation into positive enjoyment. But the pleasure which a vigorous
understanding takes in the exercise of its powers, was now heightened in
her hours of study, by the assistance, the approbation of De Courcy; and
the hours of relaxation he enlivened by a manner which, at once frank
and respectful, spirited and kind, seemed peculiarly fitted to adorn the
domestic circle. A part of each day was employed by Mrs De Courcy in
various works of charity; and, joining in these, Laura returned with
satisfaction to a habit which she had unwillingly laid aside during her
residence in London, and but imperfectly resumed at Walbourne. Amiable,
rational, and pious, the family at Norwood realized all Laura's
day-dreams of social happiness; and the only painful feeling that
assailed her mind arose from the recollection that the time of her visit
was fast stealing away. Her visit was, however, prolonged by a fortunate
cold which detained Lady Pelham at Derham Green; and Laura could not
regret an accident which delayed her separation from her friends. Indeed
she began to dread Lady Pelham's return, both as the signal of her
departure from Norwood, and as a prelude to the renewal of her
persecutions on account of Hargrave. Far from having, as Lady Pelham had
insinuated, renounced his pursuit, he returned in a few days from Mrs
Bathurst's; again established himself with Lambert; and, though he could
not uninvited intrude himself into Norwood, contrived to beset Laura as
often as she passed its bounds. In the few visits which she paid, she
generally encountered him; and he regularly waylaid her at church. But
he had lost an able coadjutor in Lady Pelham; and now, when no one
present was concerned to assist his designs, and when Laura was
protected by kind and considerate friends, she generally found means to
escape his officious attentions; though, remembering his former jealousy
of Montague, and the irritability of his temper, she was scrupulously
cautious of marking her preference of De Courcy, or of appearing to take
sanctuary with him from the assiduities of Hargrave. Indeed,
notwithstanding the mildness of De Courcy's disposition, she was not
without fear that he might be involved in a quarrel by the unreasonable
suspicions of Hargrave, who had often taxed her with receiving his
addresses, ascribing his own failure to their success. She had in vain
condescended to assure him that the charge was groundless. He never met
De Courcy without shewing evident marks of dislike. If he accosted him,
it was in a tone and manner approaching to insult. The most trivial
sentence which De Courcy addressed to Laura, drew from Hargrave looks of
enmity and defiance; while Montague, on his part, returned these
aggressions by a cool disdain, the most opposite to the conciliating
frankness of his general manners. Laura's alarm lest Hargrave's
ill-concealed aversion should burst into open outrage, completed the
dread with which he inspired her; and she felt like one subjected to the
thraldom of an evil genius, when he one day announced to her that he had
procured leave to remove his regiment to --; in order, as he said, 'that
he might be at hand to assert his rights over her.'
He conveyed this information as, rudely preventing Mr Bolingbroke and De
Courcy, he led her from Mrs De Courcy's carriage into church. Laura
durst not challenge his presumptuous expression, for Montague was close
by her side, and she dreaded that his aversion to arrogance and
oppression should induce him to engage in her quarrel. Silently
therefore, though glowing with resentment, she suffered Hargrave to
retain the place he had usurped, while Montague followed, with a
countenance which a few short moments had clouded with sudden care.
'Ah,' thought he, 'those rights must indeed be strong which he dares
thus boldly, thus publickly assert.' It was some time ere the service
began, and Laura could not help casting glances of kind inquiry on the
saddened face, which, a few minutes before, she had seen bright with
animation and delight. Hargrave's eye followed her's with a far
different expression. While she observed him darting a scowl of malice
and aversion on the man to whom he owed his life, Laura shuddered; and
wondering at the infatuation which had so long disguised his true
character, bent her head, acknowledged her short-sightedness, and
resigned the future events of her life to the disposal of heaven. It was
the day immediately preceding Harriet's marriage, and neither she nor
Mrs De Courcy was in church; Laura therefore returned home tte  tte
with Montague. Ignorant that Hargrave's provoking half-whisper had been
overheard by De Courcy, she could not account for the sudden change in
his countenance and manner; yet though she took an affectionate interest
in his melancholy, they had almost reached home before she summoned
courage to inquire into its cause. 'I fear you are indisposed,' said she
to him in a voice of kind concern. De Courcy thanked her. 'No, not
indisposed,' said he, with a faint smile. 'Disturbed, then,' said Laura.
De Courcy was silent for a moment, and then taking her hand, said, 'May
I be candid with you?' 'Surely,' returned Laura. 'I trust I shall ever
meet with candour in you.' 'Then I will own,' resumed De Courcy, 'that I
am disturbed. And can the friend of Montreville be otherwise when he
hears a right claimed over you by one so wholly unworthy of you?' 'Ah,'
cried Laura, 'you have then heard all. I hoped you had not attended to
him.' 'Attended!' exclaimed De Courcy, 'Could any right be claimed over
you and I be regardless?' 'It were ungrateful to doubt your friendly
interest in me,' replied Laura. 'Believe me Colonel Hargrave has no
right over me, nor ever shall have.' 'Yet I did not hear you resist the
claim,' returned De Courcy. 'Because,' answered Laura, 'I feared to draw
your attention. His violence terrifies me, and I feared that--that you
might'--She hesitated, stopped, and blushed very deeply. She felt the
awkwardness of appearing to expect that De Courcy should engage in a
quarrel on her account, but the simple truth ever rose so naturally to
her lips, that she could not even qualify it without confusion. 'Might
what?' cried De Courcy eagerly; 'Speak frankly I beseech you.' 'I
feared,' replied Laura, recovering herself, 'that the interest you take
in the daughter of your friend might expose you to the rudeness of this
overbearing man.' 'And did you upon my account, dearest Laura, submit to
this insolence?' cried De Courcy, his eyes sparkling with exultation.
'Is my honour, my safety then dear to you? Could you think of me even
while Hargrave spoke!' With surprise and displeasure Laura read the
triumphant glance which accompanied his words. 'Is it possible,' thought
she, 'that, well as he knows me, he can thus mistake the nature of my
regard! or can he, attached to another, find pleasure in the idle dream.
Oh man! thou art altogether vanity!' Snatching away the hand which he
was pressing to his lips, she coldly replied, 'I should have been
equally attentive to the safety of any common stranger had I expected
his interference, and Colonel Hargrave's speeches cannot divert my
attention even from the most trivial object in nature.' Poor De Courcy,
his towering hopes suddenly levelled with the dust, shrunk from the
frozen steadiness of her eye. 'Pardon me, Miss Montreville,' said he in
a tone of mingled sorrow and reproach, 'pardon me for the hope that you
would make any distinction between me and the most indifferent. I shall
soon be cured of my presumption.' Grieved at the pain she saw she had
occasioned, Laura would fain have said something to mitigate the repulse
which she had given: but a new light began to dawn upon her, and she
feared to conciliate the friend lest she should encourage the lover.
Fortunately for the relief of her embarrassment the carriage stopped. De
Courcy gravely and in silence handed her from it; and, hurrying to her
chamber, she sat down to reconsider the dialogue she had just ended.
De Courcy's manner more than his words recalled a suspicion which she
had oftener than once driven from her mind. She was impressed, she
scarcely knew why, with a conviction that she was beloved. For some
minutes this idea alone filled her thoughts; the next that succeeded was
recollection that she ought sincerely to lament a passion which she
could not return. It was her duty to be sorry, very sorry indeed, for
such an accident; to be otherwise would have argued the most selfish
vanity, the most hard-hearted ingratitude towards the best of friends,
and the most amiable of mankind. Yet she was not very sorry; it was
out of her power to convince herself that she was; so she imputed her
philosophy under her misfortune to doubtfulness of its existence. 'But
after all,' said she to herself, 'his words could not bear such a
construction; and for his manner--who would build any thing upon a
manner! While a woman's vanity is so apt to deceive her, what rational
creature would give credit to what may owe so much to her own
imagination! Besides, did not Mrs De Courcy more than hint that his
affections were engaged. Did he not even himself confess to me that they
were. And I taxed him with vanity!--Truly, if he could see this
ridiculous freak of mine he might very justly retort the charge. And see
it he will. What could possess me with my absurd prudery to take offence
at his expecting that I, who owe him ten thousand kind offices, should
be anxious for his safety?--How could I be so false, so thankless as to
say I considered him as a common acquaintance?--The friend of my father,
my departed father! the friend who supported him in want, and consoled
him in sorrow! No wonder that he seemed shocked! What is so painful to a
noble heart as to meet with ingratitude? But he shall never again have
reason to think me vain or ungrateful;' and Laura hastened down stairs
that she might lose no time in convincing De Courcy that she did not
suspect him of being her lover, and highly valued him as a friend. She
found him in the drawing-room, pensively resting his forehead against
the window sash; and approaching him, spoke some trifle with a smile so
winning, so gracious, that De Courcy soon forgot both his wishes and his
fears, enjoyed the present, and was happy.
The day of Harriet's marriage arrived; and for once she was grave and
silent. She even forgot her bridal finery; and when Laura went to inform
her of Mr Bolingbroke's arrival, she found her in the library, sitting
on the ground in tears, her head resting on the seat of an old-fashioned
elbow chair. She sprang up as Laura entered; and dashing the drops from
her eyes, cried, 'I have been trying to grow young again for a few
minutes, before I am made an old woman for life. Just there I used to
sit when I was a little little thing, and laid my head upon my father's
knee; for this was his favourite chair, and there old Rover and I used
to lie at his feet together. I'll beg this chair of my mother, for now I
love every thing at Norwood.' Laura drew her away, and she forgot the
old elbow-chair when she saw the superb diamonds which were lying on her
dressing-table. The ceremonial of the wedding was altogether adjusted by
Mrs Penelope; and though, in compliance with Mr Bolingbroke's whims, she
suffered the ceremony to be privately performed, she invited every
creature who could claim kindred with the names of Bolingbroke or De
Courcy to meet and welcome the young bride to her home. Mr Bolingbroke
having brought a licence, the pair were united at Norwood. Mr Wentworth
officiated, and De Courcy gave his sister away. Mrs Bolingbroke's own
new barouche, so often beheld in fancy, now really waited to convey her
to her future dwelling; but she turned to bid farewell to the domestics
who had attended her infancy, and forgot to look at the new barouche.
Mr Bolingbroke was a great man, and could not be allowed to marry
quietly. Bonfires were lighted, bells were rung, and a concourse of his
tenantry accompanied the carriages which conveyed the party. The
admiration of the company whom Mrs Penelope had assembled in honour of
the day, was divided between Mrs Bolingbroke's diamonds and her
bride-maid; and as the number of each sex was pretty equal, the wonders
shared pretty equally.
'Did you ever see any thing so lovely as Miss Montreville?' said Sophia
Bolingbroke to the young lady who sat next her. 'I never can think any
body pretty who has red hair,' was the reply. 'If her hair be red,'
returned Sophia, 'it is the most pardonable red hair in the world, for
it is more nearly black. Don't you admire her figure?' 'Not
particularly; she is too much of the May-pole for me; besides, who can
tell what her figure is when she is so muffled up. I dare say she is
stuffed, or she would shew a little more of her skin.' 'She has at least
an excellent taste in stuffing, then,' said Sophia, 'for I never saw any
thing so elegantly formed.' 'It is easy to see,' said the critic, 'that
she thinks herself a beauty by her dressing so affectedly. To-night
when every body else is in full dress, do but look at her's!' 'Pure,
unadorned, virgin white,' said Miss Bolingbroke, looking at Laura; 'the
proper attire of angels!' The name of Miss Montreville had drawn the
attention of De Courcy to this dialogue. 'I protest,' cried he to Mr
Wentworth, who stood by him. 'Sophy Bolingbroke is the most agreeable
plain girl I ever saw.' He then placed himself by her side; and while
she continued to praise Laura, gave her credit for all that is most
amiable in woman.
The moment he left her she ran to rally Laura upon her conquest. 'I give
you joy, my dear,' said she, 'De Courcy is certainly in love with you.'
'Nonsense,' cried Laura, colouring crimson; 'what can make you think
so?' 'Why he will talk of nothing but you, and he looked so delighted
when I praised you; and paid me more compliments in half an hour than
ere I received in my whole life before.' 'If he was so complimentary,'
said Laura, smiling, 'it seems more likely that he is in love with you.'
'Ah,' said Sophia, sighing, 'that is not very probable.' 'Full as
probable as the other,' answered Laura; and turned away to avoid a
subject which she was striving to banish from her thoughts.
During the few days which Laura and the De Courcys spent with the
newly-married pair, Miss Bolingbroke's observations served to confirm
her opinion; and merely for the pleasure of speaking of Montague, she
rallied Laura incessantly on her lover. In weighing credibilities, small
weight of testimony turns the scale; and Laura began alternately to
wonder what retarded De Courcy's declaration, and to tax herself with
vanity in expecting that he would ever make one. She disliked her stay
at Orfordhall, and counted the hours till her return to Norwood. De
Courcy's attentions she had long placed to the account of a regard
which, while she was permitted to give it the name of friendship, she
could frankly own that she valued above any earthly possessions. These
attentions were now so familiar to her, that they were become almost
necessary, and she was vexed at being constantly reminded that she ought
to reject them. She had therefore a latent wish to return to a place
where she would have a legitimate claim to his kindness, and where at
least there would be no one to remind her that she ought to shrink from
it. Besides, she was weary of the state and magnificence that surrounded
her. While Harriet glided into the use of her finery as if she had been
accustomed to it from her cradle, Laura could by no means be reconciled
to it. She endured with impatience a meal of three hours long; could
not eat while six footmen were staring at her; started, if she
thoughtlessly leant her head against the white damask wall; and could
not move with ease, where every gesture was repeated in endless
looking-glasses. With pleasure, therefore, she saw the day arrive which
was to restore her to easy hospitality, and respectable simplicity at
Norwood; but that very day she received a summons to attend her aunt at
Walbourne.
Unwilling as Laura was to quit her friends, she did not delay to comply
with Lady Pelham's requisition. Mrs De Courcy judged it improper to urge
her to stay; and Montague in part consoled himself for her departure, by
reflecting, that he would now be at liberty to disclose his
long-concealed secret. 'No doubt you are at liberty,' said Mrs De
Courcy, when he spoke to her of his intentions, 'and I am far from
pretending to advise or interfere. But, my dear Montague, you must
neither be surprised, nor in despair, if you be at first unsuccessful.
Though Laura esteems you, perhaps more than esteems you, she is
convinced that she is invulnerable to love; and it may be so, but her
fancied security is all in your favour.' Weary of suspense, however, De
Courcy often resolved to know his fate; and often went to Walbourne,
determined to learn ere he returned, whether a circle of pleasing duties
was to fill his after life, or whether it was to be spent alone,
'loveless, joyless, unendeared;' but when he met the friendly smile of
Laura, and remembered that, his secret told, it might vanish like the
gleaming of a wintry sun, his courage failed, and the intended
disclosure was again delayed. Yet his manner grew less and less
equivocal, and Laura, unwilling as she was to own the conviction to
herself, could scarcely maintain her wilful blindness.
She allowed the subject to occupy the more of her thoughts, because it
came disguised in a veil of self-condemnation and humility. Sometimes
she repeated to herself, that she should never have known the vanity of
her own heart, had it not been visited by so absurd a suspicion; and
sometimes that she should never have been acquainted with its
selfishness and obduracy, had she not borne with such indifference, the
thoughts of what must bring pain and disappointment to so worthy a
breast. But, spite of Laura's efforts to be miserable, the subject cost
her much more perplexity than distress; and, in wondering whether De
Courcy really were her lover, and what could be his motive for
concealing it if he were, she often forgot to deplore the consequences
of her charms.
Meanwhile Hargrave continued his importunities; and Lady Pelham seconded
them with unwearied perseverance. In vain did Laura protest that her
indifference was unconquerable; in vain assure him that though a total
revolution in his character might regain her esteem, her affection was
irrecoverably lost. She could at any time exasperate the proud spirit of
Hargrave, till in transports of fury he would abjure her for ever; but a
few hours always brought the 'for ever' to an end, and Hargrave back, to
supplicate, to importune, and not unfrequently to threaten. Though her
unremitting coldness, however, failed to conquer his passion, it by
degrees extinguished all of generous or kindly that had ever mingled
with the flame; and the wild unholy fire which her beauty kept alive,
was blended with the heart-burnings of anger and revenge. From such a
passion Laura shrunk with dread and horror. She heard its expressions as
superstitution listens to sounds of evil omen; and saw his impassioned
glances with the dread of one who meets the eye of the crouching tiger.
His increasing jealousy of De Courcy, which testified itself in
haughtiness, and even ferocity of behaviour towards him, and Montague's
determined though cool resistance of his insolence, kept her in
continual alarm. Though she never on any other occasion voluntarily
entered Hargrave's presence, yet if De Courcy found him at Walbourne,
she would hasten to join them, fearing the consequences of a private
interview between two such hostile spirits; and this apparent preference
not only aggravated the jealousy of Hargrave, but aroused Lady Pelham's
indefatigable spirit of remonstrance. The subject was particularly
suited for an episode to her Ladyship's harangues in favour of Hargrave;
and she introduced and varied it with a dexterity all her own. She taxed
Laura with a passion for De Courcy; and in terms not eminently delicate,
reproached her with facility in transferring her regards. While the
charge was privately made, it appeared to Laura too groundless to affect
her temper. But Lady Pelham, whose whole life might be said to form one
grand experiment upon the powers of provocation, took occasion to rally
her upon it before some of her companions; hinting not obscurely at the
secret which Laura had so religiously kept, and confessed with so much
pain. The attempt was partly successful, for Laura was really angry; but
she commanded herself so far as to parry the attack, secretly vowing
that her candour should never again commit her to the discretion of Lady
Pelham.
Sometimes assuming the tone of a tender monitress, Lady Pelham would
affect to be seriously convinced that her niece entertained a passion
for De Courcy, and treating all Laura's denials as the effect of maiden
timidity, would pretend to sympathize in her sufferings, advising her to
use her strength of mind to conquer this unfortunate partiality; to
transfer her affections from one to whom they appeared valueless to him
who sued for them with such interesting perseverance. Above all, she
entreated her to avoid the appearance of making advances to a man who
probably never bestowed a thought on her in return; thus intimating that
Laura's behaviour might bear so provoking a construction. Laura,
sometimes irritated, oftener amused by these impertinences, could have
endured them with tolerable patience; but they were mere interludes to
Lady Pelham's indefatigable chidings on the subject of Hargrave. These
were continued with a zeal and industry worthy of better success. And
yet they could not be said to be wholly unsuccessful, while, though they
could not persuade, they could torment. In vain did Laura recount the
reasons which, even amidst the utmost strength of inclination, would
have deterred her from a connection with a person of Hargrave's
character. To reason with Lady Pelham was a labour at once severe and
unavailing. She was so dexterous in the use of indefinite language, so
practised in every art of shift and evasion, that the strongest argument
failed to conquer; or if forced from her ground, she on the next
occasion occupied it again, just as if she had always maintained it
undisputed. Remonstrance and entreaty were not more successful. In
defiance of both, Lady Pelham continued to ring endless changes on the
same endless theme, till Laura's patience would have failed her, had she
not been consoled by reflecting that the time now drew near when the
payment of her annuity would enable her to escape from her unwearied
persecutors. She heartily wished, however, that a change of system might
make her residence with Lady Pelham endurable; for strong as was her
attachment to Mrs Douglas, it was no longer her only friendship; and she
could not without pain think of quitting, perhaps for ever, her valued
friends at Norwood.
Winter advanced; Lady Pelham began to talk of her removal to town; and
Laura was not without hopes, that when removed to a distance from
Hargrave, her aunt would remit somewhat of her diligence in his cause.
Laura expected that his duty would generally confine him to
head-quarters, and she hoped to find in his absence a respite from one
half of her plague. At all events, from London she thought she could
easily procure an escort to Scotland, and she was determined rather
finally to forfeit the protection of Lady Pelham, than submit to such
annoyance as she had of late endured. Laura could not help wondering
sometimes that her aunt, while she appeared so anxious to promote the
success of Hargrave, should meditate a step which would place him at a
distance from the object of his pursuit; but Lady Pelham's conduct was
so generally inconsistent, that Laura was weary of trying to reconcile
its contradictories. She endeavoured to hope that Lady Pelham, at last
becoming sensible of the inefficacy of her efforts, was herself growing
desirous to escape the Colonel's importunity; and she thought she could
observe, that as the time of their departure approached, her Ladyship
relaxed somewhat of her industry in teazing.
But the motives of Lady Pelham's removal did not at all coincide with
her niece's hopes; and nothing could be further from her intention, than
to resign her labours in a field so rich in controversy and provocation.
She imagined that Laura's obstinacy was occasioned, or at least
strengthened by the influence of the De Courcys, and she expected that a
more general acquaintance with the world would remove her prejudices. At
Walbourne, Laura, if offended, could always take refuge with Mrs De
Courcy. In London, she would be more defenceless. At Walbourne, Lady
Pelham acted under restraint, for there were few objects to divide with
her the observation of her neighbours, and she felt herself accountable
to them for the propriety of her conduct; but she would be more at
liberty in a place where, each immersed in his own business or pleasure,
no one had leisure to comment on the concerns of others. She knew that
Hargrave would find means to escape the duty of remaining with his
regiment, and indeed had concerted with him the whole plan of her
operations.
Meanwhile Laura, altogether unsuspicious of their designs, gladly
prepared for her journey, considering it as a fortunate instance of the
instability of Lady Pelham's purposes. She paid a parting visit to Mrs
Bolingbroke, whom she found established in quiet possession of all the
goods of fortune. By the aid of Mrs De Courcy's carriage, she contrived,
without molestation from Hargrave, to spend much of her time at Norwood,
where she was always received with a kindness the most flattering, and
loaded with testimonies of regard. De Courcy still kept his secret; and
Laura's suspicions rather diminished when she considered that, though he
knew she was to go without any certainty of returning, he suffered
numberless opportunities to pass without breathing a syllable of love.
The day preceding that which was fixed for the journey arrived; and
Laura begged Lady Pelham's permission to spend it entirely with Mrs De
Courcy. Lady Pelham was rather unwilling to consent, for she remembered
that her last excursion had been rendered abortive by a visit to
Norwood; but, flattering herself that her present scheme was secure from
hazard of failure, she assumed an accommodating humour, and not only
permitted Laura to go but allowed the carriage to convey her,
stipulating that she should return it immediately, and walk home in the
evening. She found the De Courcys alone, and passed the day less
cheerfully than any she had ever spent at Norwood. Mrs De Courcy, though
kind, was grave and thoughtful; Montague absent, and melancholy.
Harriet's never-failing spirits no longer enlivened the party, and her
place was but feebly supplied by the infantine gaiety of De Courcy's
little proteg Henry. This child, who was the toy of all his patron's
leisure hours, had, during her visits to Norwood, become particularly
interesting to Laura. His quickness, his uncommon beauty, his engaging
frankness, above all, the innocent fondness which he shewed for her, had
really attached her to him, and he repaid her with all the affections of
his little heart. He would quit his toys to hang upon her; and, though
at other times, as restless as any of his kind, was never weary of
sitting quietly on her knee, clasping her snowy neck in his little
sun-burnt arms. His prattle agreeably interrupted the taciturnity into
which the little party were falling, till his grandfather came to take
him away. 'Kiss your hand Henry, and bid Miss Montreville farewell,'
said the old man as he was about to take him from Laura's arms. 'It will
be a long time before you see her again.' 'Are you going away?' said the
child, looking sorrowfully in Laura's face. 'Yes, far away,' answered
Laura. 'Then Henry will go with you, Henry's dear pretty lady.' 'No no,'
said his grandfather. 'You must go to your mammy; good boys love their
mammies best.' 'Then you ought to be Henry's mammy,' cried the child,
sobbing, and locking his arms round Laura's neck, 'for Henry loves you
best.' 'My dear boy!' cried Laura, kissing him with a smile that
half-consented to his wish; but, happening to turn her eye towards De
Courcy, she saw him change colour, and, with an abruptness unlike his
usual manner, he snatched the boy from her arms, and, regardless of his
cries, dismissed him from the room.
This little incident did not contribute to the cheerfulness of the
group. Grieved to part with her favourite, and puzzled to account for De
Courcy's behaviour, Laura was now the most silent of the trio. She saw
nothing in the childish expression of fondness which should have moved
De Courcy; yet it had evidently stung him with sudden uneasiness. She
now recollected that she had more than once inquired who were the
parents of this child, and that the question had always been evaded. A
motive of curiosity prompted her now to repeat her inquiry, and she
addressed it to Mrs De Courcy. With a slight shade of embarrassment Mrs
De Courcy answered, 'His mother was the only child of our old servant; a
pretty, meek-spirited, unfortunate girl; and his father'--'His father's
crimes,' interrupted De Courcy, hastily, 'have brought their own
punishment; a punishment beyond mortal fortitude to bear;'--and,
catching up a book, he asked Laura whether she had seen it, endeavouring
to divert her attention by pointing out some passages to her notice.
Laura's curiosity was increased by this appearance of concealment, but
she had no means of gratifying it, and the subject vanished from her
mind when she thought of bidding farewell to her beloved friends,
perhaps for ever.
When she was about to go, Mrs De Courcy affectionately embraced her. 'My
dear child,' said she, 'second in my love and esteem only to my own
Montague, almost the warmest wish of my heart is to retain you always
with me; but, if that is impossible, short may your absence be, and may
you return to us as joyfully as we shall receive you.' Weeping, and
reluctant to part, Laura at last tore herself away. Hargrave had so
often stolen upon her walks that the fear of meeting him was become
habitual to her, and she wished to escape him by reaching home before
her return could be expected. As she leant on De Courcy's arms, ashamed
of being unable to suppress her sensibility, she averted her head, and
looked sadly back upon a dwelling endeared to her by many an innocent,
many a rational pleasure.
Absorbed in her regrets, Laura had proceeded a considerable way before
she observed that she held a trembling arm; and recollected that De
Courcy had scarcely spoken since their walk began. Her tears ceased
suddenly, while confused and disquieted, she quickened her pace. Soon
recollecting herself, she stopped; and thanking him for his escort,
begged that he would go no further. 'I cannot leave you yet,' said De
Courcy in a voice of restrained emotion, and again he led her onwards. A
few short sentences were all that passed till they had almost reached
the antique gate which terminated the winding part of the avenue. Here
Laura again endeavoured to prevail upon her companion to return, but
without success. With more composure than before, he refused to leave
her. Dreading to encounter Hargrave while De Courcy was in such evident
agitation, she besought him to go, telling him that it was her
particular wish that he should proceed no farther. He instantly stopped,
and, clasping her hand between his, 'Must I then leave you, Laura,' said
he; 'you whose presence has so long been the charm of my existence!' The
blood rushed violently into Laura's face, and as suddenly retired. 'And
can I,' continued De Courcy, 'can I suffer you to go without pouring out
my full heart to you?' Laura breathed painfully, and she pressed her
hand upon her bosom to restrain its swelling. 'To talk to you of
passion,' resumed De Courcy, 'is nothing. You have twined yourself with
every wish and every employment, every motive, every hope, till to part
with you is tearing my heart-strings.' Again he paused. Laura felt that
she was expected to reply, and, though trembling and breathless, made an
effort to speak. 'This is what I feared,' said she, 'and yet I wish you
had been less explicit, for there is no human being whose friendship is
so dear to me as yours; and now I fear I ought'--The sob which had been
struggling in her breast now choked her utterance, and she wept aloud.
'It is the will of heaven,' said she, 'that I should be reft of every
earthly friend.' She covered her face and stood labouring to compose
herself; while, heart-struck with a disappointment which was not
mitigated by all the gentleness with which it was conveyed, De Courcy
was unable to break the silence.
'Ungrateful! selfish that I am,' exclaimed Laura suddenly dashing the
tears from her eyes, 'thus to think only of my own loss, while I am
giving pain to the worthiest of hearts.--My best friend, I cannot indeed
return the regard with which you honour me, but I can make you cease to
wish that I should. And I deserve the shame and anguish I shall suffer.
She, whom you honour with your love,' continued she, the burning crimson
glowing in her face and neck, 'has been the sport of a passion, strong
as disgraceful--disgraceful as its object is worthless.'
Her look, her voice, her manner conveyed to De Courcy the strongest idea
of the torture which this confession cost her; and no sufferings of his
own could make him insensible to those of Laura. 'Cease, cease,' he
cried, 'best and dearest of women, do not add to my wretchedness the
thought of giving pain to you.' Then, after a few moments pause, he
continued, 'it would be wronging your noble candour to doubt that you
have recalled your affections.' 'In doing so,' answered Laura, 'I can
claim no merit. Infatuation itself could have been blind no longer.'
'Then why, dearest Laura,' cried De Courcy, his heart again bounding
with hope, 'why may not time and the fond assiduities of love'--'Ah!'
interrupted Laura, 'that is impossible. A mere preference I might give
you, but I need not tell you that I have no more to give.' 'My heavenly
Laura,' cried De Courcy, eager joy beaming in his eyes, 'give me but
this preference, and I would not exchange it for the fondest passion of
woman-kind.' 'You deceive yourself,' said Laura mournfully, 'miserably
deceive yourself. Such a sentiment could never content you. You would
miss a thousand little arts of happiness which love alone can teach;
observe a thousand nameless coldnesses which no caution could conceal;
and you would be unhappy without knowing perhaps of what to complain.
You, who would deserve the warmest affection to be content with mere
endurance! Oh no, I should be wretched in the bare thought of offering
you so poor a return.'
'Endurance, Laura! I should indeed be a monster to find joy in any thing
which you could describe by such a word. But must I despair of awakening
such affection as will make duty delightful, such as will enjoy the
bliss which it bestows?'
'Believe me, my dear friend,' said Laura in a voice as sweet, as
soothing, as ever conveyed the tenderest confession, 'believe me I am
not insensible to the value of your regard. It adds a new debt of
gratitude to all that Montreville's daughter owes you. My highest esteem
shall ever be yours, but after what I have confided to you, a moment's
consideration must convince you that all beyond is impossible.' 'Ah!'
thought De Courcy, 'what will it cost me to believe that it is indeed
impossible.' But Laura's avowal was not quite so fatal to his hopes as
she imagined; and while she supposed that he was summoning fortitude to
endure their final destruction, he stood silently pondering Mrs De
Courcy's oft repeated counsel to let love borrow the garb of friendship,
nor suffer him undisguised to approach the heart where, having once been
dethroned as an usurper, all was in arms against him.
'If I must indeed renounce every dearer hope,' resumed he, 'then in your
friendship, my ever dear Miss Montreville, I must seek the happiness of
my after-life, and surely'--'Oh no,' interrupted Laura, 'that must not
be--the part, the little part of your happiness which will depend upon
earthly connections, you must find in that of some fortunate woman who
has yet a heart to give.' 'How can you name it to me?' cried De Courcy
half indignantly! 'Can he who has known you Laura, admired in you all
that is noble, loved in you all that is enchanting, transfer his heart
to some common-place being?--You are my business--you are my pleasure--I
toil but to be worthy of you--your approbation is my sweetest
reward--all earthly things are precious to me but as you share in
them--even a better world borrows hope from you. And is this a love to
be bestowed on some soulless thing? No, Laura, I cannot, I will not
change. If I cannot win your love, I will admit no substitute but your
friendship.'
'Indeed, Mr De Courcy,' cried Laura, unconsciously pressing, in the
energy of speech, the hand which held hers. 'Indeed it is to no
common-place woman that I wish to resign you. Lonely as my own life must
be, its chief pleasures must arise from the happiness of my friends, and
to know that you are happy.'--Laura stopped, for she felt her own voice
grow tremulous. 'But we will not talk of this now,' resumed she, 'I
shall be absent for some months at least, and in that time you will
bring yourself to think differently. Promise me at least to make the
attempt.'
'No, Laura,' answered De Courcy, 'that I cannot promise. I will never
harass you with importunity or complaint, but the love of you shall be
my heart's treasure, it shall last though life--beyond life--and if you
cannot love me, give in return only such kind thoughts as you would
bestow on one who would promote your happiness at the expence of his
own. And promise me, dearest Laura, that when we meet, you will not
receive me with suspicion or reserve, as if you feared that I should
presume on your favour, or persecute you with solicitations. Trust to my
honour, trust to my love itself for sparing you all unavailing entreaty.
Promise me then, ever to consider me as a friend, a faithful tender
friend; and forget, till my weakness reminds you of it, that ever you
knew me as a lover.'
'Ah, Mr De Courcy,' cried Laura, tears filling her eyes, 'what thoughts
but the kindest can I ever have of him who comforted my father's
sorrows, who relieved--in a manner that made relief indeed a
kindness--relieved my father's wants? And what suspicion, what coldness
can I ever feel towards him whom my father loved and honoured! Yes I
will trust you; for I know that you are as far above owing favours to
compassion as to fear.'
'A thousand thanks, beloved Laura,' cried De Courcy, kissing her hands,
'and thus I seal our compact. One thing more; shall I trespass on your
noble frankness, if I ask you whether, had not another stolen the
blessing, I might have hoped to awaken a warmer regard? whether any
labour, any cares could have won for me what he has forfeited?'
Silent and blushing, Laura stood for a few moments with her eyes fixed
on the ground, then raising them, said, 'From you I fear no wrong
construction of my words, and will frankly own to you that for my own
sake, as well as yours, I wish you had been known to me ere the serpent
wound me in his poisoned folds. I believe, indeed, that no mortal but
himself could have inspired the same--what shall I call an infatuation
with which reason had nothing to do. But you have the virtues which I
have been taught to love, and--and--But what avails it now? I was
indeed a social creature; domestic habits, domestic wishes strong in me.
But what avails it now!'
'And was there a time when you could have loved me, Laura? Blessings on
you for the concession. It shall cheer my exiled heart when you are far
distant; sooth me with delightful day-dreams of what might have been;
and give my solitude a charm which none but you could bring to the most
social hour.'
'Your solitude, my honoured friend,' replied Laura, 'needs it not; it
has better and nobler charms; the charms of usefulness, of piety; and
long may these form your business and delight. But what makes me linger
with you. I meant to have hastened home that I might avoid one as unlike
to you as confidence is to fear; the feelings which you each
inspire--Farewell. I trust I shall soon hear that you are well and
happy.'
Loath to part, De Courcy endeavoured to detain her while he again gave
utterance to his strong affection; and when she would be gone, bade her
farewell in language so solemn, so tender, that all her self-command
could not repress the tears which trickled down her cheeks. They parted;
he followed her to beg that she would think of him sometimes. Again she
left him; again he had some little boon to crave. She reached the gate,
and looking back saw De Courcy standing motionless where she had last
quitted him. She beckoned a farewell. The gate closed after her, and De
Courcy felt as if one blank dreary waste had blotted the fair face of
nature.
CHAPTER XXVIII
The evening was closing, when Laura proceeded on her way. She had
outstaid her purposed time, and from every bush by the path side she
expected to see Hargrave steal upon her; in every gust of the chill
November wind she thought she heard his footstep. She passed the last
cottages connected with Norwood. The evening fires glanced cheerfully
through the casements, and the voice of rustic merriment came softened
on the ear. 'Amiable De Courcy!' thought Laura. 'The meanest of his
dependents finds comfort in his protection, while the being on whom I
have lavished the affection which might have rejoiced that worthy heart,
makes himself an object of dread, even to her whom he pretends to love.'
She reached home, however, without interruption, and was going to join
Lady Pelham in the sitting-room; when happening to pass a looking-glass,
she observed that her eyes still bore traces of the tears she had been
shedding, and, in dread of the merciless raillery of her aunt, she
retired to her own room. There, with an undefined feeling of
despondence, she sat down to re-consider her conversation with De
Courcy.
Never was task more easy, or more unprofitable. She remembered every
word that De Courcy had uttered; remembered the very tone, look, and
gesture with which they were spoken. She recollected too all that she
had said in reply; but she could by no means unravel the confused
effects of the scene upon her own mind. She certainly pitied her lover
to a very painful degree. 'Poor De Courcy!' said she, accompanying the
half-whisper with a heavy sigh. But having, in the course of half an
hour's rumination, repeated this soliloquy about twenty times, she began
to recollect that De Courcy had borne his disappointment with
considerable philosophy, and appeared to derive no small comfort from
the prospect of an intercourse of mere friendship. This fortunate
recollection, however, not immediately relieving her, she endeavoured to
account for her depression by laying hold of a vague idea which was
floating in her mind, that she had not on this occasion acted as she
ought. Friendships between young persons of different sexes were
proverbial fomenters of the tender passion; and though she was herself
in perfect safety, was it right to expose to such hazard the peace of De
Courcy? Was it generous, was it even honourable to increase the
difficulties of his self-conquest, by admitting him to the intimacy of
friendship? It was true he had voluntarily sought the post of danger:
but then he was under the dominion of an influence which did not allow
him to weigh consequences; and was it not unpardonable in her, who was
in full possession of herself, to sanction, to aid his imprudence? Yet
how could she have rejected a friendship which did her so much honour?
the friendship of the man whom her father had so loved and respected! of
the man to whom her father had wished to see her connected by the
closest ties! the man to whom she owed obligations never to be repaid?
Alas! how had she acknowledged these obligations? By suffering the most
amiable of mankind to sport with his affections, while she had weakly
thrown away her own. But the mischief was not yet totally irremediable;
and dazzled by the romantic generosity of sacrificing her highest
earthly joy to the restoration of her benefactor's quiet, she snatched a
pen intending to retract her promise. An obsolete notion of decorum was
for once favourable to a lover, and Laura saw the impropriety of writing
to De Courcy. Besides, it occurred to her that she might withdraw into
Scotland, without formally announcing the reason of her retreat; and
thus leave herself at liberty to receive De Courcy as a friend whenever
discretion should warrant this indulgence. After her most magnanimous
resolves however, feeling her mind as confused and comfortless as
before, she determined to obtain the benefit of impartial counsel, and
changed the destination of the paper on which she had already written
'My dear friend,' from De Courcy to Mrs Douglas.
With all her native candour and singleness of heart did Laura detail her
case to the monitress of her youth. To reveal De Courcy's name was
contrary to her principles; but she described his situation, his mode of
life, and domestic habits. She enlarged upon his character, her
obligations to him, and the regret which, for his sake, she felt, that
particular circumstances rendered her incapable of such an attachment as
was necessary to conjugal happiness. She mentioned her compliance with
her lover's request of a continuance of their former intimacy; confessed
her doubts of the propriety of her concession; and entreated Mrs
Douglas's explicit opinion on the past, as well as her directions for
the future.
Her mind thus unburdened, she was less perplexed and uneasy; and the
next morning cheerfully commenced her journey, pleasing herself with the
prospect of being released from the harassing attendance of Hargrave. On
the evening of the second day the travellers reached Grosvenor Street;
and the unsuspecting Laura, with renewed sentiments of gratitude to her
aunt, revisited the dwelling which had received her when she could claim
no other shelter.
Her annuity having now become due, Laura, soon after her arrival in
town, one day borrowed Lady Pelham's chariot, that she might go to
receive the money, and purchase some necessary additions to her
wardrobe. Remembering, however, the inconveniencies to which she had
been subjected by her imprudence in leaving herself without money, she
regulated her disbursements by the strictest economy; determined to
reserve a sum, which, besides a little gift to her cousin, might defray
the expences of a journey to Scotland.
Her way chancing to lie through Holborn, a recollection of the
civilities of her old landlady, induced her to stop and inquire for Mrs
Dawkins. The good woman almost compelled her to alight; overwhelmed her
with welcomes, and asked a hundred questions in a breath, giving in
return a very detailed account of all her family affairs. She informed
Laura, that Miss Julia, having lately read the life of a heroine who in
the capacity of a governess captivated the heart of a great lord, had
been seized with the desire to seek adventures under a similar
character; but finding that recommendations for experience were
necessary to her admission into any family of rank, she had condescended
to serve her apprenticeship in the tuition of the daughters of an
eminent cowfeeder. The good woman expressed great compassion for the
pupils of so incompetent a teacher, from whom they could learn nothing
useful. 'But that was,' she observed, 'their father's look out, and in
the mean time, it was so far well that July was doing something towards
her keeping.' After a visit of some length Laura wished to be gone, but
her hostess would not suspend her eloquence long enough to suffer her to
take leave. She was at last obliged to interrupt the harangue; and
breaking from her indefatigable entertainer, hurried home, not a little
alarmed lest her stay should expose her on her return home to oratory
of a different kind. Lady Pelham, however, received her most graciously,
examined all her purchases, and enquired very particularly into the cost
of each. She calculated the amount, and the balance of the annuity
remaining in Laura's possession. 'Five and thirty pounds!' she
exclaimed--'what in the world, Laura, will you do with so much money?'
'Perhaps five and thirty different things,' answered Laura, smiling; 'I
have never had, nor ever shall have, half so much money as I could
spend.' 'Oh you extravagant thing!' cried Lady Pelham patting her cheek.
'But take care that some one does not save you the trouble of spending
it. You should be very sure of the locks of your drawers. You had better
let me put your treasures into my bureau.' Laura was about to comply,
when recollecting that there might be some awkwardness in asking her
aunt for the money while she concealed its intended destination, she
thanked Lady Pelham, but said she supposed it would be perfectly safe in
her own custody; and then, as usual, avoided impending altercation by
hastening out of the room. She thought Lady Pelham looked displeased;
but as that was a necessary effect of the slightest contradiction, she
saw it without violent concern; and the next time they met, her Ladyship
was again all smiles and courtesy.
Three days, 'three wondrous days', all was sunshine and serenity. Lady
Pelham was the most ingenious, the most amusing, the most fascinating of
woman-kind. 'What a pity,' thought Laura, 'that my aunt's spirits are so
fluctuating! How delightful she can be when she pleases!' In the midst
of these brilliant hours, Lady Pelham one morning ran into the room
where Laura was at work--'Here's a poor fellow,' said she, with a look
and voice all compassion, 'who has sent me his account, and says he must
go to jail if it is not paid instantly. But it is quite impossible for
me to get the money till tomorrow.' 'To jail!' cried Laura,
shocked--'What is the amount?' 'Forty pounds,' said Lady Pelham, 'and I
have not above ten in the house.' 'Take mine,' cried Laura, hastening to
bring it. Lady Pelham stopped her. 'No, my dear good girl,' said she, 'I
wont take away your little store, perhaps you may want it yourself.' 'Oh
no,' said Laura, 'I cannot want it, pray let me bring it.' 'The poor man
has a large family,' said Lady Pelham, 'but indeed I am very unwilling
to take--' Her Ladyship spared further regrets, for Laura was out of
hearing. She returned in a moment with the whole of her wealth, out of
which, Lady Pelham, after some further hesitation, was prevailed upon
to take thirty pounds; a robbery to which she averred that she would
never have consented, but for the wretched situation of an innocent
family, and her own certainty of repaying the debt in a day or two at
farthest. Several days, however, passed away, and Lady Pelham made no
mention of discharging her debt. Laura wondered a little that her aunt
should forget a promise so lately and so voluntarily given; but her
attention was entirely diverted from the subject by the following letter
from Mrs Douglas.
'You see, my dear Laura, I lose no time in answering your
letter, though, for the first time, I answer you with some
perplexity. The weight which you have always kindly allowed to
my opinion, makes me at all times give it with timidity; but
that is not the only reason of my present hesitation. I confess
that in spite of the apparent frankness and perspicuity with
which you have written, I am not able exactly to comprehend
you. You describe a man of respectable abilities, of amiable
dispositions, of sound principles, and engaging manners. You
profess that such qualities, aided by intimacy, have secured
your cordial friendship, while obligations beyond return have
enlivened this friendship by the warmest gratitude. But, just
as I am about to conclude that all this has produced its
natural effect, and to prepare my congratulations for a happy
occasion, you kill my expectations with a dismal sentence,
expressing your regrets for having been obliged to reject the
addresses of this excellent person. Now this might have been
intelligible enough, supposing you were pre-occupied by a
stronger attachment. But so far from this, you declare yourself
absolutely incapable of any exclusive affection, or of such a
regard as is necessary to any degree of happiness in the
conjugal state. I know not, my dear Laura, what ideas you may
entertain of the fervency suitable to wedded love; but, had you
been less peremptory, I should have thought it not unlikely to
spring from a young woman's "most cordial esteem" and "warmest
gratitude" towards a young man with "expressive black eyes,"
and "the most benevolent smile in the world."
'From the tenor of your letter, as well as from some
expressions you have formerly dropped, I am led to conjecture
that you think an extravagant passion necessary to the
happiness of married life. You will smile at the expression;
but if it offends you, change it for any other descriptive of a
feeling beyond tender friendship, and you will find the
substitute nearly synonymous with the original. Now this idea
appears to me rather erroneous; and I cannot help thinking that
calm, dispassionate affection, at least on the side of the
lady, promises more permanent comfort.
'All male writers on the subject of love, so far as my little
knowledge extends, represent possession as the infallible cure
of passion. A very unattractive picture, it must be confessed,
of the love of that lordly sex! but they themselves being the
painters, the deformity is a pledge of the resemblance, and I
own my small experience furnishes no instance to contradict
their testimony. Taking its truth then for granted, I need not
inquire whether the passions of our own sex be equally
fleeting. If they be, the enamoured pair soon find themselves
at best in the same situation with those who marry from sober
sentiments of regard; that is, obliged to seek happiness in the
esteem, the confidence, the forbearance of each other. But if,
in the female breast, the fervours of passion be less
transient, I need not describe to you the sufferings of
feminine sensibility under half-returned ardour, nor the stings
of feminine pride under the unnatural and mortifying
transference of the arts of courtship. I trust, my dear child,
that should you even make a marriage of passion, your
self-command will enable you to smother its last embers in your
own bosom, while your prudence will improve the short advantage
which is conferred by its empire in that of your husband, to
lay the foundation of an affection more tender than friendship,
more lasting than love.
'Again, it is surely of the utmost consequence to the felicity
of wedded life, that a just and temperate estimate be formed of
the character of him to whose temper we must accommodate
ourselves; whose caprices we must endure; whose failings we
must pardon, whether the discord burst upon us in thunder, or
steal on amid harmonies which render it imperceptible, perhaps
half-pleasing. Small chance is there that passion should view
with the calm extenuating eye of reason the faults which it
suddenly detects in the god of its idolatry. The once fervent
votary of the idol, finding it unworthy of his worship,
neglects the useful purposes to which he might apply the gold
which it contains.
'I have other reasons for thinking that passion is at best
unnecessary to conjugal happiness; but even if I should make
you a proselyte to my opinion, the conviction would, in the
present case, probably come too late. Such a man as you
describe will probably be satisfied with the answer he has
received. He will certainly never importune you, nor poorly
attempt to extort from your pity what he could not win from
your love. His attachment will soon subside into a friendly
regard for you, or be diverted into another channel by virtues
similar to those which first attracted him. I only wish, my
dear Laura, that after this change takes place, the
"circumstances" may remain in force which render you "for ever
incapable of repaying him with a love like his own." If you are
sure that these circumstances are decisive, I foresee no evil
which can result from your cultivating a friendship so
honourable and advantageous to you, as that of a man of letters
and a Christian; whose conversation may improve your mind, and
whose experience may supply that knowledge of the world which
is rarely attainable by women in the more private walks of
life.
'To him I should suppose that no danger could arise from such
an intercourse. We are all apt to over-rate the strength and
durability of the attachments we excite. I believe the truth
is, that in a vigorous, well-governed, and actively employed
mind, love rarely becomes that resistless tyrant which vanity
and romances represent him. His empire is divided by the love
of fame or the desire of usefulness, the eagerness of research
or the triumph of discovery. But even solitude, idleness, and
imagination cannot long support his dominion without the
assistance of hope; and I take it for granted from your tried
honour and generosity, that your answer has been too explicit
to leave your lover in any doubt that your sentence is final.
'I own I could have wished, that the virtues of my ever dear
Laura had found in the sacred characters of wife and mother a
larger field than a state of celibacy can afford; but I have no
fear that your happiness or respectability should ever depend
upon outward circumstances. I have no doubt that moderate
wishes and useful employments will diffuse cheerfulness in the
loneliest dwelling, while piety will people it with guests from
heaven.
'Thus, my beloved child, I have given my opinion with all the
freedom you can desire. I have written a volume rather than a
letter. The passion for giving advice long survives that which
is the subject of our correspondence; but to shew you that I
can lay some restraint on an old woman's rage for admonition, I
will not add another line except that which assures you that I
am, with all a mother's love, and all a friend's esteem,
'Your affectionate
'E. DOUGLAS.'
Laura read this letter often, and pondered it deeply. Though she could
not deny that it contained some truths, she was not satisfied with the
doctrine deduced from them. She remembered that Mrs Douglas was the most
affectionate of wives; and concluded that in one solitary instance her
judgment had been at variance with her practice; and that, having
herself made a marriage of love, she was not an adequate judge of the
disadvantages attending a more dispassionate connection. Some passages
too she could well have spared; but as these were prophetic rather than
monitory, they required little consideration; and after the second
reading, Laura generally omitted them in the perusal of her friend's
epistle. Upon the whole, however, it gave her pleasure. Her conscience
was relieved by obtaining the sanction of Mrs Douglas to her promised
intimacy with De Courcy, and already she looked forward to the time when
it should be renewed.
Since her arrival in town, her aunt, all kindness and complacency, had
scarcely named Hargrave; and, with the sanguine temper of youth, Laura
hoped that she had at last exhausted the perseverance of her
persecutors. This fruitful source of strife removed, she thought she
could without much difficulty submit to the casual fits of caprice to
which Lady Pelham was subject; and considering that her aunt, with all
her faults, was still her most natural protector, and her house her most
proper abode, she began to lay aside thoughts of removing immediately to
Scotland, and to look towards Walbourne as her permanent home.
In the meantime she promised herself that the approaching winter would
bring her both amusement and information. The capital, with all its
wonders, of which she had hitherto seen little, the endless diversity of
character which she expected its inhabitants to exhibit, the
conversation of the literary and the elegant, of wits, senators, and
statesmen, promised an inexhaustible fund of instruction and delight.
Nay, the patriotic heart of Laura beat high with the hope of meeting
some of those heroes who, undaunted by disaster, where all but honour is
lost maintain the honour of Britain, or who, with happier fortune, guide
the triumphant navies of our native land. She was yet to learn how
little of character appears through the varnish of fashionable manners,
and how little a hero or a statesman at a rout differs from a mere man
of fashion in the same situation.
Lady Pelham seemed inclined to furnish her with all the opportunities
of observation which she could desire, introducing her to every visitor
of distinction, and procuring for her the particular attention of two
ladies of high rank, who constantly invited her to share in the gaieties
of the season. But Laura, instructed in the value of time, and feeling
herself accountable for its employment, stopped far short of the
dissipation of her companions. She had long since established a
criterion by which to judge of the innocence of her pleasure, accounting
every amusement, from which she returned to her duties with an exhausted
frame, languid spirits, or distracted attention, to be at best
dangerous, and contrary to all rational ends of recreation. Of
entertainments which she had never before witnessed, curiosity generally
induced her for once to partake; but she found few that could stand her
test; and to those which failed in the trial, she returned as seldom as
possible.
One species alone, if it deserves to be classed with entertainments, she
was unwillingly obliged to except from her rule. From card-parties Laura
always returned fatigued both in mind and body; while present at them
she had scarcely any other wish than to escape; and she quitted them
unfit for any thing but rest. Lady Pelham, however, sometimes made it a
point that her niece should accompany her to these parties; and, though
she never asked Laura to play, was occasionally at pains to interest her
in the game, by calling her to her side, appealing to her against
ill-fortune, or exacting her congratulations in success. A few of these
parties excepted, Laura's time passed pleasantly. Though the calm of her
aunt's temper was now and then disturbed by short gusts of anger, it
returned as lightly as it fled; and the subject, fertile in endless
chiding, seemed almost forgotten.
A fortnight had passed in this sort of quiet, when one morning Lady
Pelham proposed to carry Laura to see the Marquis of --'s superb
collection of pictures. Laura, obliged by her aunt's attention to her
prevailing taste, eagerly accepted the proposal, and hastened to equip
herself for the excursion. Light of heart, she was returning to the
drawing-room to wait till the carriage drew up, when, on entering, the
first object she beheld was Colonel Hargrave, seated confidentially by
the side of Lady Pelham.
Laura, turning sick with vexation, shrunk back; and, bewailing the
departure of her short-lived quiet, returned, half angry, half
sorrowful, to her own room. She had little time, however, to indulge her
chagrin, for Lady Pelham almost immediately sent to her to let her know
that the carriage waited. Disconcerted, and almost out of humour, Laura
had tossed aside her bonnet, and was about to retract her consent to go,
when, recollecting that the plan had been proposed on her account,
without any apparent motive unless to oblige her, she thought her aunt
would have just reason to complain of such an ungracious rejection of
her civility.
'Besides, it is like a spoiled child,' thought she, 'to quarrel with any
amusement, because one disagreeable circumstance attends it;' and,
readjusting her bonnet, she joined Lady Pelham, not without a secret
hope that Hargrave might not be of the party. The hope deceived her. He
was ready to hand her into the carriage, and to take his seat by her
side.
Her sanguine expectations thus put to flight, the habitual complacency
of Laura's countenance suffered a sudden eclipse. She answered almost
peevishly to Hargrave's inquiries for her health; and so complete was
her vexation, that it was long ere she observed how much his manner
towards her was changed. He whispered no extravagancies in her ear;
offered her no officious attentions; and seized no opportunities of
addressing her, but such as were consistent with politeness and respect.
He divided his assiduities not unequally between her and Lady Pelham;
and even without any apparent reluctance, permitted a genteel young man,
to whom the ladies curtsied in passing, to share in his office of
escort, and almost to monopolize Laura's conversation. Having
accompanied the ladies home, he left them immediately, refusing Lady
Pelham's invitation to dinner; and Laura, no less pleased than surprised
at this unexpected turn, wished him good morning more graciously than
she had of late spoken to him.
The next day he dined in Grosvenor Street, and the same propriety of
manner continued. The following evening Laura again met with him in a
large party. He did not distinguish her particularly from any of her
fair competitors. Laura was delighted. She was convinced that he had at
last resolved to abandon his fruitless pursuit; but what had so suddenly
wrought this happy change, she could not divine.
He did not visit Lady Pelham daily, yet it so happened that Laura saw
him every day, and still he was consistent. Laura scarcely doubted, yet
durst scarcely trust her good fortune.
The violent passions of Hargrave, however, in some degree unfitted him
for a deceiver; and sometimes the fiery glance of impatience, of
admiration, or of jealousy, belied the serenity of his manner. Laura
did not fail to remark this; but she possessed the happy faculty of
explaining every ambiguity in human conduct, in a way favourable to the
actor,--a faculty which, though it sometimes exposed her to mistake and
vexation, was, upon the whole, at once a happiness and a virtue. She
concluded that Hargrave, determined to persecute her no further, was
striving to overcome his passion; that the appearances she had remarked
were only the struggles which he could not wholly suppress; and she felt
herself grateful to him for making the attempt,--the more grateful from
her idea of its difficulty.
With her natural singleness of heart, she one day mentioned to Lady
Pelham the change in Hargrave's behaviour. 'I suppose,' added she
smiling, 'that, finding he can make nothing more of me, he is resolved
to lay me under obligation by leaving me at peace, having first
contrived to make me sensible of its full value.' Lady Pelham was a
better dissembler than Colonel Hargrave; and scarcely did a change of
colour announce the deception, while, in a tone of assumed anger, she
answered by reproaching her niece with having at last accomplished her
purpose, and driven her lover to despair. Yet Lady Pelham was aware that
Hargrave had not a thought of relinquishing his pursuit. His new-found
self-command was merely intended to throw Laura off her guard, that Lady
Pelham might have an opportunity of executing a scheme which Lambert had
conceived, to entangle Laura beyond the possibility of escape.
Many an action, harmless in itself, is seen, by a discerning bystander,
to have in it 'nature that in time will venom breed, though no teeth for
the present.' It happened that Lambert, while at Walbourne, had once
seen Laura engaged in a party at chess; and her bent brow and flushed
cheek, her palpitating bosom, her trembling hand, her eagerness for
victory, above all, her pleasure in success, restrained but not
concealed, inspired him with an idea that play might be made subservient
to the designs of his friend; designs which he was the more disposed to
promote, because, for the present, they occupied Hargrave to the
exclusion of that folly of which Lambert had so well availed himself.
It was Lambert's proposal that he should himself engage Laura in play;
and having won from her, by means which he could always command, that he
should transfer the debt to Hargrave. The scheme was seconded by Lady
Pelham, and, in part, acquiesced in by Hargrave. But though he could
consent to degrade the woman whom he intended for his wife, he could
not endure that any other than himself should be the instrument of her
degradation; and, sickening at the shackles which the love of gaming had
imposed upon himself, he positively refused to accede to that part of
the plan, which proposed to make Laura's entanglement with him the
branch of a habit previously formed. Besides, the formation of a habit,
especially one so contrary to previous bias, was a work of time; and a
strategem of tedious execution did not suit the impatience of Hargrave's
temper. He consented, however, to adopt a more summary modification of
the same artifice. It was intended that Laura should at first be induced
to play for a stake too small to alarm her, yet sufficiently great to
make success desirable; that she should at first be allowed to win; that
the stake should be increased until she should lose a sum which it might
incommode her to part with; and then that the stale cheat of gamblers,
hope of retrieving her loss, should be pressed on her as a motive for
venturing nearer to destruction.
The chief obstacle to the execution of this honourable enterprise lay in
the first step, the difficulty of persuading Laura to play for any sum
which could be at all important to her. For obviating this, Lady Pelham
trusted to the diffidence, the extreme timidity, the abhorrence of
notoriety, which nature strengthened by education had made a leading
feature in the character of Laura. Her Ladyship determined that the
first essay should be made in a large company, in the presence of
persons of rank, of fame, of talent, of every qualification which could
augment the awe almost amounting to horror, with which Laura shrunk from
the gaze of numbers.
Partly from a craving for a confident, partly in hope of securing
assistance, Lady Pelham communicated her intention to the honourable Mrs
Clermont, a dashing widow of five-and-thirty. The piercing black eyes,
the loud voice, the free manner, and good-humoured assurance of this
lady, had inspired Laura with a kind of dread, which had not yielded to
the advances which the widow condescended to make. Lady Pelham judged it
most favourable to her righteous purpose, that the first attempt should
be made in the house of Mrs Clermont, rather than in her own; both
because that lady's higher circle of acquaintance could command a more
imposing assemblage of visitors; and because this arrangement would
leave her Ladyship more at liberty to watch the success of her scheme,
than she could be where she was necessarily occupied as mistress of the
ceremonies.
The appointed evening came, and Lady Pelham, though with the utmost
kindness of manner, insisted upon Laura's attendance. Laura would rather
have been excused; yet, not to interrupt a humour so harmonious, she
consented to go. Lady Pelham was all complacency. She condescended to
preside at her niece's toilette, and obliged her to complete her dress
by wearing for that evening a superb diamond aigrette, one of the
ornaments of her own earlier years. Laura strenuously resisted this
addition to her attire, accounting it wholly unsuitable to her
situation; but her aunt would take no denial, and the affair was not
worthy of a more serious refusal. This important concern adjusted, Lady
Pelham viewed her niece with triumphant admiration. She burst forth into
praises of her beauty, declaring, that she had never seen her look half
so lovely. Yet, with skilful malice, she contrived to awaken Laura's
natural bashfulness, by saying, as they were alighting at Mrs Clermont's
door, 'Now my dear don't mortify me to-night by any of your Scotch
gaucheries. Remember every eye will be turned upon you.' 'Heaven
forbid,' thought Laura, and timidly followed her aunt to a couch where
she took her seat.
For a while Lady Pelham's words seemed prophetic, and Laura could not
raise her eyes without meeting the gaze of admiration or of scrutiny;
but the rooms began to be crowded by the great and the gay, and Laura
was relieved from her vexatious distinction. Lady Pelham did not long
suffer her to enjoy her release, but rising, proposed that they should
walk. Though Laura felt in her own majestic stature a very unenviable
claim to notice, a claim rendered more conspicuous by the contrast
offered in the figure of her companion, she could not with politeness
refuse to accompany her aunt, and giving Lady Pelham her arm, they began
their round.
Laura, little acquainted with the ease which prevails in town parties,
could not help wondering at the nonchalance of Mrs Clermont, who,
leaving her guests to entertain themselves as they chose, was lounging
on a sofa playing piquet with Colonel Hargrave. 'Mrs Clermont at
piquet,' said Lady Pelham. 'Come Laura, piquet is the only civilized
kind of game you play. You shall take a lesson;' and she led her niece
forwards through a circle of misses, who, in hopes of catching the
attention of the handsome Colonel Hargrave, were tittering and talking
nonsense most laboriously. This action naturally drew the eyes of all
upon Laura, and Lady Pelham, who expected to find useful engines in her
timidity and embarrassment, did not fail to make her remark the notice
which she excited. From this notice Laura would have escaped, by
seating herself near Mrs Clermont; but Lady Pelham perceiving her
intention, placed herself there without ceremony, so as to occupy the
only remaining seats, leaving Laura standing alone, shrinking at the
consciousness of her conspicuous situation. No one was near her to whom
she could address herself, and her only resource was bending down to
overlook Mrs Clermont's game.
She had kept her station long enough to be fully sensible of its
awkwardness, when Mrs Clermont, suddenly starting up, exclaimed, 'Bless
me! I had quite forgotten that I promised to make a loo-table for the
Dutchess. Do, my dear Miss Montreville, take my hand for half an hour.'
'Excuse me, Madam,' said Laura, drawing back, 'I play so ill.' 'Nay,
Laura,' interrupted Lady Pelham, 'your teacher is concerned to maintain
your skill, and I insist on it that you play admirably.' 'Had not your
Ladyship better play?' 'Oh no, my dear; I join the loo-table.' 'Come,'
said Mrs Clermont, offering Laura the seat she had just quitted, 'I will
take no excuse; so sit down, and success attend you!' The seat presented
Laura with an inviting opportunity of turning her back upon her
inspectors, she was averse from refusing such a trifling request, and
rather willing to give Hargrave a proof that she was not insensible to
the late improvement in his behaviour. She therefore quietly took the
place assigned her, while the trio exchanged smiles of congratulation on
the facility with which she had fallen into the snare.
Something, however, yet remained to be arranged, and Lady Pelham and her
hostess still kept their stations by her side. While dividing the cards,
Laura recollected having observed that, in town, every game seemed
played for money; and she asked her antagonist what was to be the stake.
He of course referred that point to her own decision; but Laura, in
profound ignorance of the arcana of card-tables, blushed, hesitated, and
looked at Lady Pelham and Mrs Clermont for instructions. 'We don't play
high in this house, my dear,' said Mrs Clermont, 'Colonel Hargrave and I
were only playing guineas.' 'Laura is only a beginner,' said Lady
Pelham, 'and perhaps half a guinea'--Laura interrupted her aunt by
rising and deliberately collecting the cards, 'Colonel Hargrave will
excuse me,' said she. 'That is far too great a stake for me.' 'Don't be
absurd, my dear,' said Lady Pelham, touching Laura's sleeve, and
affecting to whisper; 'why should not you play as other people do?'
Laura not thinking this a proper time to explain her conscientious
scruples, merely answered, that she could not afford it; and, more
embarrassed than before, would have glided away, but neither of her
guards would permit her to pass. 'You need not mind what you stake with
Hargrave,' said Lady Pelham apart; 'you play so much better than he that
you will infallibly win.' 'That does not at all alter the case,'
returned Laura. 'It would be as unpleasant to me to win Colonel
Hargrave's money as to lose my own.' 'Whatever stake Miss Montreville
chooses must be equally agreeable to me,' said Colonel Hargrave; but
Laura observed that the smile which accompanied these words had in it
more of sarcasm than of complacency. 'I should be sorry, Sir,' said she,
'that you lowered your play on my account. Perhaps some of these young
ladies,' continued she, looking round to the talkative circle
behind--'Be quiet, Laura,' interrupted Lady Pelham, again in an under
tone; 'you will make yourself the town-talk with your fooleries.' 'I
hope not,' returned Laura, calmly; 'but if I do, there is no help;
little inconveniencies must be submitted to for the sake of doing
right.' 'Lord, Miss Montreville,' cried Mrs Clermont aloud, 'what odd
notions you have! Who would mind playing for half a guinea. It is
nothing; absolutely nothing. It would not buy a pocket handkerchief.' It
would buy a week's food for a poor family, thought Laura; and she was
confirmed in her resolution; but not willing to expose this reason to
ridicule, and a little displeased that Mrs Clermont should take the
liberty of urging her, she coolly, yet modestly replied, 'That such
matters must greatly depend on the opinions and circumstances of the
parties concerned, of which they were themselves the best judges.' 'I
insist on your playing,' said Lady Pelham, in an angry half-whisper. 'If
you will make yourself ridiculous, let it be when I am not by to share
in the ridicule.' 'Excuse me, Madam, for to-night,' returned Laura,
pleadingly. 'Before another evening I will give you reasons which I am
sure will satisfy you.' 'I am sure,' said Hargrave, darting a very
significant look towards Laura, 'if Miss Montreville, instead of cards,
prefers allowing me to attend her in your absence, I shall gain
infinitely by the exchange.' Laura, to whom his glance made this hint
very intelligible, reddened; and, saying she would by no means interrupt
his amusement, was again turning to seek a substitute among her
tittering neighbours, when Mrs Clermont prevented her, by calling out to
a lady at a considerable distance. 'My dear Dutchess, do have the
goodness to come hither, and talk to this whimsical beauty of ours. She
is seized with an economical fit, and has taken it into her pretty
little head that I am quite a gambler because I fix her stake at
half-a-guinea.' 'What may not youth and beauty do!' said her Grace,
looking at Laura with a smile half-sly half-insinuating. 'When I was the
Miss Montreville of my day, I too might have led the fashion of playing
for pence, though now I dare not venture even to countenance it.' The
mere circumstance of rank could never discompose Laura; and, rather
taking encouragement from the charming though faded countenance of the
speaker, she replied, 'But, in consideration of having no pretensions to
lead the fashion, may I not claim exemption from following it?' 'Oh, by
no means,' said her Grace. 'When once you have entered the world of
fashion, you must either be the daring leader or the humble follower. If
you choose the first, you must defy the opinions of all other people;
and, if the last, you must have a suitable indifference for your own.'
'A gentle intimation,' returned Laura, 'that in the world of fashion I
am quite out of place, since nothing but my own opinion is more awful to
me than that of others.' 'Miss Montreville,' said Lady Pelham, with an
aspect of vinegar, 'we all await your pleasure.' 'Pray, Madam,' answered
Laura, 'do not let me detain you a moment; I shall easily dispose of
myself.' 'Take up your cards this instant, and let us have no more of
these airs,' said Lady Pelham, now without affectation whispering, in
order to conceal from her elegant companions the wrath which was,
however, distinctly written in her countenance.
It now occurred to Laura as strange, that so much trouble should be
taken to prevail upon her to play for more than she inclined. Hargrave,
though he had pretended to release her, still kept his seat, and his
language had tended rather to embarrass than relieve her. Mrs Clermont
had interfered further than Laura thought either necessary or proper;
and Lady Pelham was eager to carry her point. Laura saw that there was
something in all this which she did not comprehend; and, looking up to
seek an explanation in the faces of her companions, she perceived that
the whole trio seemed waiting her decision with looks of various
interest. The piercing black eyes of Mrs Clermont were fixed upon her
with an expression of sly curiosity. Hargrave hastily withdrew a
sidelong glance of anxious expectation; while Lady Pelham's face was
flushed with angry impatience of delay. 'Has your Ladyship any
particular reason for wishing that I should play for a higher stake than
I think right?' said Laura, fixing on her aunt a look of calm scrutiny.
Too much out of humour to be completely on her guard, Lady Pelham's
colour deepened several shades, while she answered, 'I child! what
should make you think so?' 'I don't know,' said Laura. 'People sometimes
try to convince from mere love of victory; but they seldom take the
trouble to persuade without some other motive.' 'Any friend,' said
Lady Pelham, recollecting herself, 'would find motive enough for what I
have done, in the absurd appearance of these littlenesses to the world,
and the odium that deservedly falls on a young miser.' 'Nay, Lady
Pelham,' said the Dutchess, 'this is far too severe. Come,' added she,
beckoning to Laura, with a gracious smile, 'you shall sit by me, that I
may endeavour to enlarge your conceptions on the subject of
card-playing.'
Laura, thus encouraged, instantly begged her aunt's permission to pass.
Lady Pelham could not decently refuse; and, venting her rage, by
pinching Laura's arm till the blood came, and muttering through her
clenched teeth, 'obstinate wretch,' she suffered her niece to escape.
Laura did not condescend to bestow any notice upon this assault, but,
pulling her glove over her wounded arm, took refuge beside the Dutchess.
The fascinating manners of a high-bred woman of fashion, and the
respectful attentions offered to her whom the Dutchess distinguished by
her particular countenance, made the rest of the evening pass agreeably,
in spite of the evident ill-humour of Lady Pelham. Her ladyship
restrained the further expression of her rage till Laura and she were on
their way home; when it burst out in reproaches of the parsimony,
obstinacy, and perverseness which had appeared in her niece's refusal to
play. Laura listened to her in silence; sensible, that while Lady
Pelham's passion overpowered the voice of her own reason, it was vain to
expect that she should hear reason from another. But, next day, when she
judged that her aunt had had time to grow cool, she took occasion to
resume the subject; and explained, with such firmness and precision, her
principles in regard to the uses of money and the accountableness of its
possessors, that Lady Pelham laid aside thoughts of entangling her by
means of play; since it was vain to expect that she would commit to the
power of chance that which she habitually considered as the sacred
deposit of a father, and specially destined for the support and comfort
of his children.
CHAPTER XXIX
Hargrave no sooner perceived the futility of his design to involve Laura
in a debt of honour, than he laid aside the disguise which had been
assumed to lull her vigilance, and which he had never worn without
difficulty. He condescended, however, to save appearance, by taking
advantage of the idea which Laura had herself suggested to Lady Pelham,
and averred that he had made a powerful effort to recover his
self-possession; but he declared that, having totally failed in his
endeavours to obtain his liberty, he was determined never to renew them,
and would trust to time and accident for removing Laura's prejudice. In
vain did she assure him that no time could produce such a revolution in
her sentiments as would at all avail him; that though his eminent
improvement in worth might secure her esteem, her affections were
alienated beyond recall. The old system was resumed, and with greater
vigour than before, because with less fear of observation and more
frequent opportunities of attack. Every meal, every visit, every public
place, furnished occasions for his indefatigable assiduities, from which
Laura found no refuge beyond the precincts of her own chamber.
Regardless of the vexation which such a report might give her, he chose
to make his suit a subject of the tittle-tattle of the day. By this
manoeuvre, in which he had before found his advantage, he hoped that
several purposes might be served. The publicity of his claim would keep
other pretenders at a distance; it would oblige those who mentioned him
to Laura to speak, if not favourably, at least with decent caution; and
it might possibly at last induce her to listen with less reluctance to
what every one spoke of as natural and probable. Lady Pelham seconded
his intentions, by hints of her niece's engagement, and confidential
complaints to her friends of the mauvaise honte which made Laura
treat with such reserve the man to whom she had long been affianced. The
consequence of their manoeuvring was, that Hargrave's right to persecute
Laura seemed universally acknowledged. The men, at his approach, left
her free to his attendance; the women entertained her with praises of
his person, manners, and equipage; with hints of her situation, too
gentle to warrant direct contradiction; or charges made with conviction
too strong to yield any form of denial.
Lady Pelham, too, resumed her unwearied remonstrances, and teased,
chided, argued, upbraided, entreated, and scolded, through every tedious
hour in which the absence of visitors left Laura at her mercy. Laura had
at one time determined against submitting to such treatment, and had
resolved, that, if it were renewed, she would seek a refuge far from her
persecutors, and from England. But that resolution had been formed when
there appeared no immediate necessity for putting it in practice; and
England contained somewhat to which Laura clung almost unconsciously.
Amidst all her vexations, Mrs De Courcy's letters soothed her ruffled
spirits; and more than once, when she renewed her determination to quit
Lady Pelham, a few lines from Norwood made her pause in its fulfilment,
reminding her that a few months, however unpleasing, would soon steal
away, and that her return to the country would at least bring some
mitigation of her persecutions.
Though Mrs De Courcy wrote often, and confidentially, she never
mentioned Montague further than was necessary to avoid particularity.
She said little of his health, nothing of his spirits or occupations,
and never hinted any knowledge of his rejected love. Laura's inquiries
concerning him were answered with vague politeness; and thus her
interest in the state of his mind was constantly kept awake. Often did
she repeat to herself, that she hoped he would soon learn to consider
her merely as a friend; and that which we have often repeated as truth,
we in time believe to be true.
Laura had been in town about a month, when one of her letters to Norwood
was followed by a longer silence than usual. She wrote again, and still
the answer was delayed. Fearing that illness prevented Mrs De Courcy
from writing, Laura had endured some days of serious anxiety, when a
letter was brought her, addressed in Montague's hand. She hastily tore
it open, and her heart fluttered between pleasure and apprehension, when
she perceived that the whole letter was written by him. It was short and
cautious. He apologized for the liberty he took, by saying, that a
rheumatic affection having prevented his mother from using her pen, she
had employed him as her secretary, fearing to alarm Laura by longer
silence. The letter throughout was that of a kind yet respectful friend.
Not a word betrayed the lover. The expressions of tender interest and
remembrance with which it abounded, were ascribed to Mrs De Courcy, or
at least shared with her, in a manner which prevented any embarrassment
in the reply. Laura hesitated for a moment, whether her answer should be
addressed to Mrs De Courcy, or to Montague; but Montague was her
benefactor, their intimacy was sanctioned by her best friend, and it is
not difficult to imagine how the question was decided. Her answer
produced a reply, which again was replied to in its turn; and thus a
correspondence was established, which, though at first constrained and
formal, was taught by Montague's prudent forbearance, to assume a
character of friendly ease.
This correspondence, which soon formed one of Laura's chief pleasures,
she never affected to conceal from Lady Pelham. On the contrary, she
spoke of it with perfect openness and candour. Unfortunately, however,
it did not meet with her Ladyship's approbation. She judged it highly
unfavourable to her designs in regard to Hargrave. She imagined that, if
not already an affair of love, it was likely soon to become so; and she
believed that, at all events, Laura's intercourse with the De Courcys
would foster those antiquated notions of morality to which Hargrave owed
his ill success. Accordingly, she at first objected to Laura's new
correspondence; then lectured on its impropriety and imprudence; and,
lastly took upon her peremptorily to prohibit its continuance. Those who
are already irritated by oppression, a trifle will at last rouse to
resistance. This was an exercise of authority so far beyond Laura's
expectations, that it awakened her resolution to submit no longer to the
importunity and persecution which she had so long endured, but to depart
immediately for Scotland. Willing, however, to execute her purpose with
as little expence of peace as possible, she did not open her intentions
at the moment of irritation. She waited a day of serenity to propose her
departure.
In order to procure the means of defraying the expence of her journey,
it was become necessary to remind Lady Pelham of her loan, which
appeared to have escaped her Ladyship's recollection. Laura,
accordingly, one day gently hinted a wish to be repaid. Lady Pelham at
first looked surprised, and affected to have forgotten the whole
transaction; but, upon being very distinctly reminded of the
particulars, she owned that she recollected something of it, and
carelessly promised to settle it soon; adding that she knew Laura had no
use for the money. Laura then frankly announced the purpose to which she
meant to apply it; saying, that, as her aunt was now surrounded by more
agreeable society, she hoped she might, without inconvenience, be
spared, and would therefore relieve Lady Pelham of her charge, by paying
a visit to Mrs Douglas. Rage flamed in Lady Pelham's countenance, while
she burst into a torrent of invective against her niece's ingratitude,
and coldness of heart; and it mingled with triumph as she concluded by
saying,--'Do, Miss; by all means go to your precious Scotland, but find
the means as you best can; for not one penny will I give you for such a
purpose. I have long expected some such fine freak as this, but I
thought I should disappoint it.' Not daunted by this inauspicious
beginning, Laura, taking encouragement from her aunt's known
instability, again and again renewed the subject; but Lady Pelham's
purposes, however easily shaken by accident or caprice, were ever
inflexible to entreaty. 'She possessed,' she said, 'the means of
preventing her niece's folly, and she was determined to employ them.'
Laura burnt with resentment at the injustice of this determination. She
acknowledged no right which Lady Pelham possessed to detain her against
her own consent, and she considered the detention of her lawful property
as little else than fraud. But perceiving that remonstrance was useless,
she judged it most prudent not to embitter, by vain recriminations, an
intercourse from which she could not immediately escape. Without further
complaint or upbraiding, she submitted to her fate; content with
resolving to employ more discreetly the next payment of her annuity, and
with making a just but unavailing appeal to her aunt's generosity, by
asserting the right of defencelessness to protection. Lady Pelham had
not the slightest idea of conceding any thing to this claim. On the
contrary, the certainty that Laura could not withdraw from her power,
encouraged her to use it with less restraint. She invited Hargrave to a
degree of familiarity which he had not before assumed; admitted him at
all hours; sanctioned any freedom which he dared to use with Laura; and
forced or inveigled her into frequent tte--ttes with him.
Fretted beyond her patience, Laura's temper more than once failed under
this treatment, and she bitterly reproached Hargrave as the source of
all her vexation. As it was, however, her habitual study to convert
every event of her life to the purposes of virtue, it soon occurred to
her, that, during these compulsory interviews, she might become the
instrument of awakening her unworthy lover to more noble pursuits. Like
a ray of light, the hope of usefulness darted into her soul, shedding a
cheering beam on objects which before were dark and comfortless; and,
with all the enthusiastic warmth of her character, she entered on her
voluntary task; forgetting, in her eagerness to recal a sinner from the
error of his ways, the weariness, disgust, and dread with which she
listened to the ravings of selfish passion. She no longer endeavoured to
avoid him, no longer listened to him with frozen silence or avowed
disdain. During their interviews, she scarcely noticed his
protestations, but employed every interval in urging him, with all the
eloquence of dread, to retreat from the gulf which was yawning to
receive him; in assuring him, with all the solemnity of truth, that the
waters of life would repay him a thousand-fold for the poisoned cup of
pleasure. Truth, spoken by the loveliest lips in the world, confirmed by
the lightnings of a witching eye, kindled at times in Hargrave a
something which he mistook for the love of virtue. He declared his
abhorrence of his former self, asserted the innocence of his present
manner of life, and vowed that, for the future, he should be blameless.
But when Laura rather incautiously urged him to give proof of his
reformation, by renouncing a passion whose least gratifications were
purchased at the expence of justice and humanity, he insisted that she
required more than nature could endure, and vehemently protested that he
would never, but with life, relinquish the hope of possessing her. Her
remonstrances had however one effect, of which she was altogether
unconscious. Hargrave could not estimate the force of those motives
which led her to labour so earnestly for the conversion of a person
wholly indifferent to her; and though she often assured him that her
zeal was disinterested, he cherished a hope that she meant to reward his
improvement. In this hope he relinquished, for a while, the schemes
which he had devised against the unsuspecting Laura, till accident again
decided him against trusting to her free consent for the accomplishment
of his wishes.
Among other exercises of authority to which Lady Pelham was emboldened
by her niece's temporary dependence on her will, she adhered to her
former prohibition of Laura's correspondence with De Courcy. Laura,
unwilling to make it appear a matter of importance, promised that she
would desist; but said that she must first write to Mr De Courcy to
account for her seeming caprice. Lady Pelham consented, and the letter
was written. It spoke of Laura's situation, of her sentiments, of her
regret for Hargrave's strange perseverance, of the dread and vexation to
which he occasionally subjected her. To atone for its being the last, it
was more friendly, more communicative than any she had formerly written.
Laura meant to disguise under a sportive style the effects which
oppression had produced upon her spirits; and the playful melancholy
which ran throughout, gave her expressions an air of artless tenderness.
Lady Pelham passed through the hall as this letter was lying upon the
table, waiting for the servant who was to carry it to the post; she
looked at it. The sheet was completely filled. She wondered what it
could contain. She took it up and examined it, as far as the seal would
permit her. What she saw did but increase her curiosity. It was only
wafered, and therefore easily opened; but then it was so dishonourable
to open a letter. Yet what could the letter be the worse? A girl should
have no secrets from her near relations. Still, to break a seal!--It was
felony by the law. Lady Pelham laid down the letter and walked away,
already proud of having disdained to do a base action; but she heard the
servant coming for his charge; she thought it best to have time to
consider the matter. She could give him the letter at any time--and she
slipped it into her pocket.
Sad sentence is produced against 'the woman who deliberates:' Lady
Pelham read the letter; and then, in the heat of her resentment at the
manner in which her favourite was mentioned, shewed it to Hargrave. As
he marked the innocent confiding frankness, the unconstrained respect,
the chastened yet avowed regard, with which Laura addressed his rival,
and contrasted them with the timid caution which, even during the reign
of passion, had characterized her intercourse with himself,--contrasted
them too with the mixture of pity, dislike, and dread, which had
succeeded her infatuation, all the pangs of rage and jealousy took hold
on the soul of Hargrave. He would have vented his frenzy by tearing the
letter to atoms, but Lady Pelham snatched it from his quivering grasp,
and dreading detection, sealed and restored it to its first destination.
The first use which he made of his returning powers of self-command, was
to urge Lady Pelham's concurrence in a scheme which he had before
devised, but which had been laid aside in consequence of his ill-founded
hopes. He entreated that her Ladyship would, by an opportune absence,
assist his intention; which was, he said, to alarm Laura with the
horrors of a pretended arrest for an imaginary debt, and to work upon
the gratefulness of her disposition, by himself appearing as her
deliverer from her supposed difficulty. Lady Pelham in vain urged the
futility of this strategem, representing the obstacles to its
accomplishment, and the certainty of early detection. Hargrave continued
to importune, and she yielded.
Yet Hargrave himself was as far as Lady Pelham from expecting any fruits
from the feeble artifice which he had detailed to her. He had little
expectation that Laura could ever be induced to receive any pecuniary
obligation at his hands, and still less that she would consider a loan
which she might almost immediately repay, as a favour important enough
to be rewarded with herself. He even determined that his aid should be
offered in terms which would ensure its rejection. Though he durst not
venture to unfold his whole plan to Lady Pelham, his real intention was
merely to employ the disguise of the law in removing Laura from even the
imperfect protection of her aunt, to a place where she would be utterly
without defence from his power. To the baseness of his purpose he
blinded himself by considering the reparation which he should make in
bestowing wealth and title on his victim; its more than savage brutality
he forgot in anticipation of the gratitude with which Laura, humbled in
her own eyes, and in those of the world, would accept the assiduities
which now she spurned. He little knew the being whom he thus devoted to
destruction! Incited by jealousy and resentment, he now resolved on the
immediate execution of his design; and he did not quit Lady Pelham till
he had obtained her acquiescence in it so far as it was divulged to her.
He then hastened to prepare the instruments of his villainy; and ere he
gave himself time to cool, all was in readiness for the scheme which was
to break the innocent heart that had loved and trusted him in seeming
virtue, and pitied and prayed for him and warned him in guilt. How had
the shades of evil deepened since the time when Hargrave first faltered
between his infant passion and a virtuous purpose! He had turned from
the path which 'shineth more and more unto the perfect day.' On that in
which he trode the night was stealing, slow but sure, which closes at
last in outer darkness.
One morning at breakfast, Lady Pelham, with more than usual civility,
apologized for leaving Laura alone during the rest of the day, saying
that business called her but a few miles out of the town, but that she
would return in the evening. She did not say whither she was going; and
Laura, never imagining that it could at all concern her to know, did not
think of inquiring. Pleasing herself with the prospect of one day of
peace and solitude, she saw her aunt depart, and then sat down to detail
to the friend of her youth her situation, her wishes, and her
intentions. She was interrupted by a servant who came to inform her that
two men below desired to speak with her. Wondering who in that land of
strangers could have business with her, Laura desired that they should
be shewn up stairs. Two coarse robust-looking men, apparently of the
lower rank, entered the room. Laura was unable to divine what could have
procured her a visit from persons of their appearance; yet, with her
native courtesy, she was motioning them to a seat, when one of them
stepped forward; and, laying on her shoulder a stick which he held,
said, in a rough ferocious voice, 'Laura Montreville, I arrest you at
the suit of John Dykes.' Laura was surprised but not alarmed. 'This must
be some mistake,' said she, 'I know no such person as John Dykes.' 'He
knows you though, and that is enough,' answered the man. 'Friend,'
returned Laura, mildly, 'you mistake me for some other person.' 'What,
Miss,' said the other man, advancing, 'do you pretend that you are not
Laura Montreville, daughter of the late Captain William Montreville, of
Glenalbert in Scotland?' Laura, now changing colour, owned that she was
the person so described. 'But,' said she, recovering herself, 'I cannot
be arrested. I do not owe five shillings in the world.' 'Mayhap not,
Miss,' said the man, 'but your father did; and you can be proved to have
intermeddled with his effects as his heiress, which makes you liable for
all his debts. So you'll please pay me the two hundred pounds which he
owed to Mr John Dykes.' 'Two hundred pounds!' exclaimed Laura. 'The
thing is impossible. My father left a list of his debts in his own
hand-writing, and they have all been faithfully discharged by the sale
of his property in Scotland.' The men looked at each other for a moment,
and seemed to hesitate; but the roughest of the two presently answered,
'What nonsense do you tell me of lists? who's to believe all that? I
have a just warrant; so either pay the money or come along.' 'Surely,
friend,' said Laura, who now suspected the people to be mere swindlers,
'you cannot expect that I should pay such a sum without inquiring into
your right to demand it. If your claim be a just one, present it in a
regular account, properly attested, and it shall be paid to-morrow.' 'I
have nothing to do with to-morrow, Miss,' said the man. 'I must do my
business. It's all one to me whether you pay or not. It does not put a
penny in my pocket: only if you do not choose to pay, come along; for we
can't be standing here all day.' 'I cannot procure the money just now,
even though I were willing,' answered Laura, with spirit, 'and I do not
believe you have any right to remove me.' 'Oh, as for the right, Miss,
we'll let you see that. There is our warrant, properly signed and
sealed. You may look at it in my hand, for I don't much like to trust
you with it.'
The warrant was stamped, and imposingly written upon parchment. With the
tautology which Laura had been taught to expect in a law-paper, it rung
changes upon the permission to seize and confine the person of Laura
Montreville, as heiress of William Montreville, debtor to John Dykes of
Pimlico. It was signed as by a magistrate, and marked with the large
seals of office. Laura now no longer doubted; and, turning pale and
faint, asked the men whether they would not stay for an hour while she
sent to Finsbury Square to beg the advice of Mr Derwent, Lady Pelham's
man of business. 'You may send for him to the lock-up house,' said the
savage. 'We have no time to spare.' 'And whither will you take me?'
cried Laura, almost sinking with horror. 'Most likely,' answered the
most gentle of the two ruffians, 'you would not like to be put into the
common prison; and you may have as good accommodations in my house as
might serve a dutchess.'
Spite of her dismay Laura's presence of mind did not entirely forsake
her. She hesitated whether she should not send to beg the assistance of
some of Lady Pelham's acquaintance, or at least their advice in a
situation so new to her. Among them all there was none with whom she had
formed any intimacy; none whom, in her present circumstances of
embarrassment and humiliation, she felt herself inclined to meet. She
shrunk at the thought of the form in which her story might be
represented by the malignant or the misjudging, and she conceived it her
best course to submit quietly to an inconvenience of a few hours
continuance, from which she did not doubt that her aunt's return would
that evening relieve her. Still the idea of being a prisoner; of
committing herself to such attendants; of being an inmate of the abodes
of misery, of degradation, perhaps of vice, filled her with dread and
horror, while, sinking on a couch, she covered her pale face with her
hands, and inwardly commended herself to the care of heaven.
The men, meanwhile, stood whispering apart, and seemed to have forgotten
the haste which they formerly expressed. At last one of them, after
looking from the window into the street, suddenly approached her, and,
rudely seizing her arm, cried, 'Come, Miss, the coach can't wait all
day. It's of no use crying; we're too well used to that, so walk away if
you don't choose to be carried.' Laura dashed the tears from her eyes,
and, faintly trying to disengage her arm, was silently following her
conductor to the door, when it opened and Hargrave entered.
Prepared as he was for a scene of distress, determined as he was to let
no movement of compassion divert his purpose, he could not resist the
quiet anguish which was written in the lovely face of his victim; and
turning with real indignation to her tormentor, he exclaimed, 'Ruffian!
what have you done to her?' But quickly recollecting himself, he threw
his arm familiarly round her, and said, 'My dearest Laura, what is the
meaning of all this? What can these people want with you?' 'Nothing
which can at all concern you Sir,' said Laura, her spirit returning at
the boldness of his address. 'Nay, my dear creature,' said Hargrave, 'I
am sure something terrible has happened. Speak, fellows,' said he,
turning to his emissaries, 'what is your business with Miss
Montreville?' 'No great matter, Sir,' answered the man; 'only we have a
writ against her for two hundred pounds, and she does not choose to pay
it; so we must take her to a little snug place, that's all.' 'To a
prison! You, Laura, to a prison! Heavens! it is not to be thought of.
Leave the room fellows, and let me talk with Miss Montreville.' 'There
is no occasion, Sir,' said Laura. 'I am willing to submit to a short
confinement. My aunt returns this evening, and she will undoubtedly
advance the money. It ought to be much the same to me what room I
inhabit for the few intervening hours.' 'Good heaven! Laura do you
consider what you say? Do you consider the horrors--the disgrace?
Dearest girl, suffer me to settle this affair, and let me for once do
something that may give you pleasure.' Laura's spirit revolted from the
freedom with which this was spoken. Suffering undeserved humiliation,
never had she been more jealous of her claim to respect. 'I am obliged
to you, Sir,' said she, 'but your good offices are unnecessary. Some
little hardship, I find, I must submit to; and I believe the smallest
within my choice is to let these people dispose of me till Lady Pelham's
return.' Hargrave reddened. 'She prefers a prison,' thought he, 'to
owing even the smallest obligation to me. But her pride is near a fall;'
and he smiled with triumphant pity on the stately mien of his victim.
He was, in effect, almost indifferent whether she accepted or rejected
his proffered assistance. If she accepted it, he was determined that it
should be clogged with a condition expressly stated, that he was for the
future to be received with greater favour. If she refused, and he
scarcely doubted that she would, he had only to make the signal, and she
would be hurried, unresisting, to destruction. Yet, recollecting the
despair, the distraction, with which she would too late discover her
misfortune; the bitter upbraidings with which she would meet her
betrayer; the frantic anguish with which she would mourn her disgrace,
if, indeed, she survived it, he was inclined to wish that she would
choose the more quiet way of forwarding his designs, and he again
earnestly entreated her to permit his interference. Laura's strong
dislike to being indebted for any favour to Hargrave, was somewhat
balanced in her mind by the horror of a prison, and by the consideration
that she could immediately repay him by the sale of part of her annuity.
Though she still resisted his offer, therefore, it was less firmly than
before. Hargrave continued to urge her. 'If,' said he, 'you dislike to
allow me the pleasure of obliging you, this trifling sum may be restored
whenever you please; and if you afterwards think that any little debt
remains, it is in your power to repay it a thousand fold. One kind
smile, one consenting look, were cheaply purchased with a world.' The
hint which concluded this speech seemed to Laura manifestly intended to
prevent her acceptance of the offer which he urged so warmly. 'Are you
not ashamed, Sir,' said she, with a disdainful smile, 'thus to make a
parade of generosity which you do not mean to practise? I know you do
not--cannot expect, that I should poorly stoop to purchase your
assistance.' 'Upon my soul, Laura,' cried Hargrave, seizing her hands,
'I am most earnest, most anxious, that you should yield to me in this
affair; nor will I quit this spot till you have consented--nor till you
have allowed me to look upon your consent as a pledge of your future
favour.' Laura indignantly snatched her hands from his grasp. 'All that
I comprehend of this,' said she, 'is insult, only insult. Leave me, Sir!
It is unworthy even of you to insult the misfortunes of a defenceless
woman.' Hargrave would not be repulsed. He again took her hand and
persevered in his entreaties, not forgetting, however, to insinuate the
conditions. Laura, in silent scorn, turned from him, wondering what
could be the motive of his strange conduct, till it suddenly occurred to
her that the arrest might be a mere plot contrived by Hargrave himself
for the purpose of terrifying her into the acceptance of the conditions
necessary to her escape. This suspicion once formed gained strength by
every circumstance. The improbability of the debt; the time chosen when
Lady Pelham was absent; the opportune arrival of Hargrave; the
submission of the pretended bailiffs to his order; his frequent
repetition of the conditions of his offer, at the same time that he
appeared to wish for its acceptance; all conspired to convince Laura
that she was intended to be made the dupe of a despicable artifice.
Glowing with indignation, she again forced herself from Hargrave. 'Away
with this contemptible mockery,' she cried, 'I will hear no more of it.
While these people choose to guard me in this house, it shall be in an
apartment secure from your intrusion.' Then, before Hargrave could
prevent her, she left him, and shut herself into her own chamber.
Here, at greater liberty to think, a new question occurred to her. In
case of her refusal to accept of Hargrave's terms--in case she actually
preferred intrusting herself to the pretended bailiffs, whither could
they intend to convey her? Laura's blood ran cold at the thought. If
they were indeed the agents of Hargrave, what was there of dreadful that
she had not to fear! Yet she could scarcely believe that persons could
be found to attempt so daring a villany. Would they venture upon an
outrage for which they must answer to the laws! an outrage which Lady
Pelham would certainly feel herself concerned to bring to immediate
detection and punishment. 'Unfortunate chance!' cried Laura, 'that my
aunt should be absent just when she might have saved me. And I know not
even where to seek her.--Why did she not tell me whither she was going?
She who was wont to be so open!--Can this be a part of this cruel snare?
Could she--Oh it is impossible! My fears make me suspicious and unjust.'
Though Laura thus endeavoured to acquit Lady Pelham, her suspicion of
Hargrave's treachery augmented every moment. While she remembered that
her father, though he had spoken to her of his affairs with the most
confidential frankness, had never hinted at such a debt, never named
such a person as his pretended creditor--while she thought of the manner
of Hargrave's interference, the improbability that her own and her
father's name and address, as well as the casualty of Lady Pelham's
absence should be known to mere strangers--the little likelihood that
common swindlers would endeavour to extort money by means so hazardous
and with such small chance of success--her conviction rose to certainty;
and she determined that nothing short of force should place her in the
power of these impostors. Yet how soon might that force be employed!
How feeble was the resistance which she could offer! And who would
venture to aid her in resisting the pretended servants of law!
'Miserable creature that I am!' cried she, wringing her hands in an
agony of grief and terror, 'must I submit to this cruel wrong?--Is there
no one to save me--no friend near?--Yes! yes, I have a friend from whom
no treachery of man can tear me--who can deliver me from their
violence--who can do more--can make their cruelty my passport to life
eternal. Let me not despair then--Let me not be wanting to myself.--With
His blessing the feeblest means are mighty.'
After a moment's consideration Laura rung her bell, and the maid who
usually attended her appeared. 'Catherine,' said Laura, endeavouring to
speak composedly, 'will you oblige me by going to Finsbury Square, to Mr
Derwent, and begging of him to come hither instantly?' 'Bless me,
Madam,' cried the girl, 'you look as if you were just going to faint!
can I get you any thing?' 'No, no, I shall not faint,' said Laura. 'Go
my dear--go quickly--if you would save a wretch from destruction. Stop
not a moment I implore you!--Oh Catherine, more than life depends on
you!' The girl's curiosity was strongly excited by these words, as well
as by the strange visit of the men who were waiting in the lobby. She
would fain have staid to make inquiries, but the imploring anguish of
Laura's look and manner was irresistible, and she hastened out of the
room. Laura then double-locking the door determined that by force only
it should be entered, and throwing herself on a seat, strove to rally
the spirits she was so soon to need. In a few minutes, however,
Catherine returned, and through the key hole informed Laura that she had
been intercepted by the men below stairs, who would not suffer any one
to leave the house. 'All is then as I feared,' cried Laura in a voice of
desperation. 'And thus has he made his cruel plot so sure! Is there no
escape! Oh Catherine! cannot you steal away from them? Is there no means
to save me?' Moved by the voice of anguish, the girl promised to do her
utmost, but confessed that she had little hope of succeeding.
For a moment Laura believed her fate sealed, and almost gave herself up
to despair; but, now convinced of the treachery of Hargrave, and
unwillingly obliged to suspect Lady Pelham's connivance, indignation at
such unexampled baseness and cruelty again roused her fainting spirit.
Again she determined to resist to the uttermost, and if dragged by force
from her place of refuge, to appeal to the humanity of the passengers
in the street. 'Surely,' thought she, 'even common strangers will not
permit such oppression.' The windows of her chamber looked towards the
gardens behind the house; and she now regretted that she had not rather
shut herself up in one of the front apartments, from whence she could
have explained her situation to the passers by. Seeing no other chance
of escape, she resolved on attempting to change her place of refuge, and
was approaching the door to listen whether any one was near, when she
was startled by the rough voice of one of the pretended bailiffs. 'Come
along Miss,' he cried, 'we are quite tired of waiting. Come along.' The
shuddering Laura made no reply. 'Come, come Miss,' cried the man again;
'you have had time enough to make ready.' Laura continued silent, while
the ruffian called to her again and again, shaking the door violently.
He threatened, with shocking oaths, that he would burst it open, and
that she would be punished for resisting the officers of justice. All
was in vain. Laura would not answer a single word. Trembling in every
limb, she listened to his blasphemies and vows of vengeance, till she
had wearied out her persecutor, and her ear was gladdened with the sound
of his departing. He was almost immediately succeeded by his less
ferocious companion, who more civilly begged her to hasten, as their
business would not permit any longer delay. Finding that she would not
answer, he reminded her of the consequences of obstructing the execution
of the law; and threatened, if she continued obstinate, to use force.
Laura sat silent and motionless, using every momentary interval of
quiet, in breathing a hasty prayer for deliverance. The least violent of
the fellows proved the most persevering; yet at last she had the
satisfaction to hear him also retire. Presently a lighter step
approached, and Hargrave called to her. 'Miss Montreville! Laura! Miss
Montreville!' Laura was still silent. He called again, without success.
'Miss Montreville is ill,' cried he aloud, as if to some one at a
distance. 'She is insensible. The door must be forced.' 'No! No!' cried
Laura, determined not to leave him this pretence, 'I am not insensible,
nor ill, if you would leave me in peace.' 'For heaven's sake, then,'
returned he, 'let me speak a few words to you.' 'No,' answered Laura,
'you can say nothing that I wish to hear.' 'I beseech you, I implore
you,' said Hargrave, 'only by one word put it in my power to save you
from these miscreants--say but that one little word, and you are free.'
'Man, man!' cried Laura, vehemently, 'why will you make me abhor you? I
want no freedom but from your persecutions! Begone!' 'Only promise me,'
said Hargrave, lowering his voice, 'only promise me that you will give
up that accursed De Courcy, and I will dismiss these men.' 'Do you curse
him who saved your life! Monster! Leave me! I detest you.' Hargrave
gnawed his lip with passion. 'You shall dearly pay for this obstinacy,'
said he, and fiercely strode away.
In the heat of his wrath, he commanded his coadjutors to force the door;
but the law which makes the home of an Englishman a sacred sanctuary,
extends its precious influence, in some faint degree, to the breasts
even of the dregs of mankind; and these wretches, who would have given
up Laura to any other outrage, hesitated to perpetrate this. They
objected the danger. 'Does your Honour think,' said one of them, 'that
the servants will stand by and allow us to break open the door.' 'I tell
you,' said Hargrave, 'all the men-servants are from home. What do you
fear from a parcel of women?' 'Women can bear witness as well as men,
your Honour; and it might be as much as our necks are worth to be
convicted. But if your Honour could entice her out, we'd soon catch
her.' Hargrave took two or three turns along the lobby, and then
returned to Laura. 'Miss Montreville,' said he, 'my dearest Miss
Montreville, I conjure you to admit me only for a moment. These savages
will wait no longer. They are determined to force your door. Once more I
implore you, before it is too late, let me speak with you. I expect them
every moment.' Laura's breast swelled with indignation at this vile
pretence of kindness. 'Acting under your commands, Sir,' said she, 'I
doubt not that they may even dare this outrage. And let them at their
peril. If the laws of my country cannot protect, they shall avenge me.'
For a moment Hargrave stood confounded at this detection, till anger
replacing shame,--'Very well, Madam,' he cried; 'insult me as you
please, and take the consequences.' He then rejoined his emissaries; and
by bribery and threats endeavoured to prevail upon them to consummate
their violence. The men, unwilling to forfeit the reward of the hazard
and trouble they had already undergone, allured by Hargrave's promises,
and fearing his vengeance, at last agreed to drag their hapless victim
to her doom.
Having taken such instruments as they could find, for the purpose of
forcing the door, they followed Hargrave up stairs, and prepared to
begin their work. At this near prospect of the success of all his
schemes, Hargrave's rage began to cool; and a gleam of tenderness and
humanity reviving in his heart, he shrunk from witnessing the anguish
which he was about to inflict. 'Stop,' said he to his people, who were
approaching the door; 'stay a few moments;' and, putting his hand to his
forehead, he walked about, not wavering in his purpose, but endeavouring
to excuse it to himself. 'It is all the consequence of her own
obstinancy,' said he, suddenly stopping. 'You may go on--No; stay, let
me first get out of this house. Her cries would drive me mad.--Make
haste--lose no time after I am gone. It is better over.'
Besides the motive which he owned, Hargrave was impelled to depart by
the dread of meeting Laura's upbraiding eye, and by the shame of
appearing even to the servants, who were so soon to know his baseness,
an inactive spectator of Laura's distress. He hastened from the house,
and the men proceeded in their work. With dread and horror did Laura
listen to their attempts. Pale, breathless, her hands clenched in
terror, she fixed her strained eyes upon the door, which every moment
seemed yielding; then flying to the window, surveyed in despair the
height, which made escape an act of suicide; then again turning to the
door, tried with her feeble strength to aid its resistance. In vain! It
yielded, and the shock threw Laura upon the ground. The ruffians raised
her, more dead then alive, and were seizing her lily arms to lead her
away; but, with all her native majesty, she motioned them from her. 'You
need not touch me,' said she, 'you see I can resist no further.' With
the composure of despair, she followed them to the hall, where, her
strength failing, she sunk upon a seat. The servants now in pity and
amazement approaching her, she addressed herself to one of them. 'Will
you go with me, my good friend,' said she, 'that you may return and tell
Lady Pelham where to find her niece's corpse!' The girl consented with
tears in her eyes; but one of the fellows cried, 'No; no; she may run
after the coach if she likes, but she don't go within side.' 'Why not?'
said the other, with a brutal leer. 'They may both get home again
together. They'll be free enough soon.' Laura shuddered. 'Where wandered
my senses,' said she, 'when I thought of subjecting any creature to the
chance of a fate like mine! Stay here, my dear, and tell Lady Pelham,
that I charge her, by all her hopes here and hereafter, to seek me
before she sleeps. Let her seek me wherever there is wickedness and
wo--and there, living or dead, I shall be found.' 'Let's have done with
all this nonsense,' said one of the men. 'John, make the coach draw up
close to the door.' The fellow went to do as he was desired; while the
other with a handkerchief prepared to stifle the cries of Laura, in
case she should attempt to move the pity of passengers in the street.
Laura heard the carriage stop, she heard the step let down, and the
sound was like her death knell.
The man hurried her through the hall. He opened the street door--and
Catherine entered with Mr Derwent. Laura, raising her bowed-down head,
uttered a cry of joy. 'I am safe!' she cried, and sunk into the arms of
Catherine.
Mr Derwent immediately directed his servants to seize the fellow who had
held Laura, the other having made his escape upon seeing the arrival of
her deliverers. Laura, soon recovering, told her tale to Mr Derwent, who
ordering the man to be searched, examined the warrant, and declared it
to be false. The danger attending forgery, however, had been avoided,
for there was no magistrate of the same name with that which appeared in
the signature. Hargrave's villany thus fully detected, Laura wished to
dismiss his agent; but Mr Derwent would not permit such atrocity to go
unpunished, and gave up the wretch to the arm of law. He then quitted
Laura, leaving his servant to attend her till Lady Pelham's return and,
worn out with the emotion she had undergone, she threw herself on a bed
to seek some rest.
Early in the evening Lady Pelham returned, and immediately inquired for
her niece. The servants, always attentive and often uncharitable
spectators of the actions of their superiors, had before observed the
encouragement which their mistress gave to Hargrave, and less unwilling
to suspect than Laura, were convinced of Lady Pelham's connivance in his
purpose. None of them therefore choosing to announce the failure of a
scheme in which they believed her so deeply implicated, her questions
produced no information except that Miss Montreville was gone indisposed
to bed. The habitual awe with which the good sense and discernment of
Laura had inspired Lady Pelham, was at present augmented almost to fear
by the consciousness of duplicity. She shrunk from encountering the
glance of quiet scrutiny, the plain direct question which left no room
for prevarication, no choice between simple truth and absolute
falsehood. But curiosity to know the success of the plot, and still more
a desire to discover how far she was suspected of abetting it, prevailed
over her fears; and having before studied the part she was to play, she
entered Laura's apartment.
She found her already risen and prepared to receive her. 'My dear
child,' said her Ladyship in one of her kindest tones, 'I am told you
have been ill. What is the matter?' 'My illness is nothing, Madam,'
answered Laura, 'but I have been alarmed in your absence by the most
daring, the most unprincipled outrage!' 'Outrage, my dear!' cried Lady
Pelham in a voice of the utmost surprise; 'What outrage?' Laura then,
commanding by a powerful effort the imagination which swelled her heart,
related her injuries without comment; pausing at times to observe how
her aunt was affected by the recital. Lady Pelham was all amazement;
which, though chiefly pretended, was partly real. She was surprised at
the lengths to which Hargrave had gone, and even suspected his whole
design, though she was far from intending to discover her sentiments to
her niece. 'This is the most extraordinary thing I ever heard of!' cried
she when Laura had ended. 'What can have been the meaning of this trick?
What can have incited the people?' 'Colonel Hargrave, Madam,' said Laura
without hesitation. 'Impossible, my dear! Hargrave can be no further
concerned in it, than so far as taking advantage of the accident to
extort the promise of a little kindness from you. He would never have
ventured to send the men into my house on such an errand.' 'One of them
confessed to Mr Derwent, before the whole family, that Colonel Hargrave
was his employer.' 'Astonishing!' cried Lady Pelham. 'And what do you
suppose to have been Hargrave's intention?' 'I doubt not, Madam,'
returned Laura, commanding her voice, though resentment flashed from her
eyes, 'I doubt not that his intentions were yet more base and inhuman
than the means he employed. But whatever they were, I am certain he
would never have dared to entertain them, had it not been for the
encouragement which your Ladyship has thought proper to give him.' 'I,
child!' cried Lady Pelham, truth in her colour contradicting the
falsehood of her tongue, 'Surely you do not think that I would encourage
him in such a plot!' 'No, Madam,' answered Laura, 'I hope and believe
that you are incapable of consenting to such wickedness. I allude only
to the general countenance which you have always shewn to Colonel
Hargrave.' Lady Pelham could implicitly rely upon Laura's word; and
finding that she was herself unsuspected, she had leisure to attempt
palliating the offence of her proteg. 'That countenance,' returned
she, 'shall be completely withdrawn for the future, if Hargrave does not
explain this strange frolic to my satisfaction.' 'Frolic, Madam!' cried
Laura indignantly. 'If that name belongs to crimes which would disgrace
barbarians, then call this a frolic!' 'Come, my dear girl,' said Lady
Pelham, coaxingly throwing her arm round Laura, 'you are too much, and
I must own, according to present appearances, justly irritated, to talk
of this affair coolly tonight. To-morrow we shall converse about it. Now
let's go to tea.' 'No, Madam,' said Laura with spirit, for she saw
through her aunt's intention of glossing over Hargrave's villany--'I
will never again expose myself to the chance of meeting a wretch whose
crimes are my abhorrence. I will not leave this room till I quit it for
ever. Madam, you have often called me firm. Now I will prove to you that
I am so. Give me the means to go hence in a manner becoming your niece,
or my own limbs shall bear me to Scotland, and on the charity of my
fellow-creatures will I rely for support.' 'I protest, my love,' cried
Lady Pelham, 'you are absolutely in a passion, I never saw you so angry
till now.' 'Your Ladyship never saw me have such reason for anger,'
replied Laura. 'I own I am angry, yet I know that my determination is
right, and I assure you it will outlive the heat with which it is
expressed.'
Had Laura's purpose been more placidly announced it would have roused
Lady Pelham to fury; but even those who have least command over their
tempers have generalship enough to perceive the advantage of the attack;
and the passion of a virago has commonly a patriarchal submission for
its elder-born brother. Lady Pelham saw that Laura was in no humour for
trifling; she knew that her resolutions were not easily shaken; and she
quitted her upon pretence of fatigue, but in reality that she might
consider how to divert her from the purpose which she had announced so
peremptorily.
Laura was every day becoming more necessary to her aunt, and to think of
parting with her was seriously disagreeable. Besides, Laura's departure
would effectually blast the hopes of Hargrave; and what would then
become of all Lady Pelham's prospects of borrowing consequence from the
lovely young Countess of Lincourt? Never wanting in invention, Lady
Pelham thought of a hundred projects for preventing her niece's journey
to Scotland. Her choice was fixed by a circumstance which she could not
exclude from her consideration. The story of Hargrave's seditious plot
was likely soon to be made public. It was known to Mr Derwent, and to
all her own household. Her conscience whispered that her connivance
would be suspected. Mr Derwent might be discreet; but what was to be
expected from the discretion of servants? The story would spread from
the footmen to the waiting-maids, and from these to their ladies, till
it would meet her at every turn. Nor had her imprudent consent left her
the power of disclaiming all concern in it, by forbidding Hargrave her
house, since he would probably revenge himself by disclosing her share
in the strategem. Lady Pelham saw no better success of palliating these
evils, than by dismissing her establishment and returning immediately to
Walbourne; and she hoped, at the same time, that it might not be
impossible to prevail on Laura to change the direction of her journey.
For this purpose she began by beseeching her niece to lay aside thoughts
of retiring to Scotland; and was beginning to recount all the
disadvantages of such a proceeding; but Laura would listen to no
remonstrance on the subject; declaring that, if after what had happened,
she remained in a place where she was liable to such outrage, she should
be herself accountable for whatever evil might be the consequence. Lady
Pelham then proposed an immediate removal to Walbourne, artfully
insinuating that, if any cause of complaint should there arise, Laura
would be near the advice and assistance of her friends at Norwood, and
of Mrs Bolingbroke. Laura was not without some wishes that pointed
towards Walbourne; but she remembered the importunities which she had
there endured, and she firmly resisted giving occasion to their renewal.
Lady Pelham had then recourse to tender upbraidings. 'Was it possible
that Laura, the only hope and comfort of her age, would quit her now,
when she had so endeared herself to the widowed heart, reft of all other
treasure--now when increasing infirmity required her aid--now when the
eye which was so soon to close, was fixed on her as on its last earthly
treasure! Would Laura thus cruelly punish her for a crime in which she
had no share; a crime which she was willing to resent to the utmost of
her niece's wishes!' Lady Pelham talked herself into tears, and few
hearts of nineteen are hard enough to resist the tears of age. Laura
consented to accompany her aunt to Walbourne, provided that she should
never be importuned on the subject of Hargrave, nor even obliged to see
him. These conditions Lady Pelham solemnly promised to fulfil, and, well
pleased, prepared for her journey. Hargrave, however, waited on her
before her departure, and excused himself so well on the score of his
passion, his despair, and his eager desire to be allied to Lady Pelham,
that, after a gentle reprimand, he was again received into favour,
informed of the promises which had been made against him, and warned not
be discouraged if their performance could not immediately be dispensed
with. Of this visit Laura knew nothing; for she adhered to her
resolution of keeping her apartment, nor ever crossed its threshold,
till, on the third day after her perilous adventure, the carriage was at
the door which conveyed her to Walbourne.
CHAPTER XXX
As Lady Pelham's carriage passed the entrance of the avenue which led to
Norwood, Laura sunk into a profound reverie; in the course of which she
settled most minutely the behaviour proper for her first meeting with De
Courcy. She decided on the gesture of unembarrassed cordiality with
which she was to accost him; intending her manner to intimate that she
accounted him a friend, and only a friend. The awkwardness of a private
interview she meant to avoid by going to Norwood next day, at an hour
which she knew that Montague employed in reading aloud to his mother.
All this excellent arrangement, however, was unfortunately useless.
Laura was taking a very early ramble in what had always been her
favourite walk, when, at a sudden turn, she saw De Courcy not three
steps distant. Her white gown shining through the still leafless trees
had caught his attention, the slightest glimpse of her form was
sufficient for the eye of love, and he had advanced prepared to meet
her; while she, thus taken by surprise, stood before him conscious and
blushing. At this confusion, so flattering to a lover, De Courcy's heart
gave one bound of triumphant joy; but he was too modest to ascribe to
love what timidity might so well account for, and he prudently avoided
reminding Laura, even by a look, of either his hopes or his wishes.
Quickly recollecting herself, Laura entered into a conversation which,
though at first reserved and interrupted, returned by degrees to the
confidential manner which De Courcy had formerly won from her under the
character of her father's friend.
This confidence, so precious to him, De Courcy was careful never to
interrupt. From the time of Laura's return, he saw her almost daily. She
made long visits to Mrs De Courcy; he came often to Walbourne; they met
in their walks, in their visits; they spent a week together under Mr
Bolingbroke's roof; yet De Courcy religiously kept his promise, nor ever
wilfully reminded Laura that he had a wish beyond her friendship. Always
gentle, respectful and attentive, he never invited observation by
distinguishing her above others who had equal claims on his politeness.
She only shared his assiduities with every other woman whom he
approached; nor did he betray uneasiness when she, in her turn, received
attentions from others. His prudent self-command, had the effect which
he intended; and Laura, in conversing with him, felt none of the reserve
which may be supposed to attend intercourse with a rejected admirer. His
caution even at times deceived her. She recollected Mrs Douglas's
prophecy, that 'his attachment would soon subside into friendly regard,'
and imagined she saw its accomplishment. 'How happy are men in having
such flexible affections,' thought she with a sigh. 'I wonder whether he
has entirely conquered the passion which, three short months ago, was to
"last through life--beyond life?" I hope he has,' whispered she with a
deeper sigh; and she repeated it again--'I hope he has,'--as if by
repeating it, she would have ascertained that it was her real sentiment.
Yet, at other times, some little inadvertency, unheeded by less
interested observers, would awaken a doubt of De Courcy's self-conquest;
and in that doubt Laura unconsciously found pleasure. She often
reconsidered the arguments which her friend had used to prove that
passion is unnecessary to the happiness of wedded life. She did not
allow that she was convinced by them; but she half wished that she had
had an opportunity of weighing them before she had decided her fate with
regard to De Courcy. Meanwhile, much of her time was spent in his
company, and his presence had ever brought pleasure with it. Week after
week passed agreeably away, and the close of the winter atoned for the
disquiet which had marked its commencement.
During all this time, Laura saw nothing of Hargrave. His visits, indeed,
to Walbourne were more frequent than she supposed, but the only one of
which she had been informed, Lady Pelham affected to announce to her,
advising her to avoid it by spending that day at Norwood. Since their
return from town, her Ladyship had entirely desisted from her
remonstrances in his favour, and Laura hoped that his last outrage had
opened her aunt's eyes to the deformity of his character. And, could
Lady Pelham's end have been pursued without annoyance to any living
being, it would long before have shared the perishable nature of her
other purposes. But whatever conferred the invaluable occasion of
tormenting, was cherished by Lady Pelham as the dearest of her
concerns; and she only waited fit opportunity to shew that she could be
as stubborn in thwarting the wishes of others, as capricious in varying
her own. De Courcy's attachment could not escape her penetration; and as
she was far from intending to desert the cause of Hargrave, she saw,
with displeasure, the progressive advancement of Laura's regard for the
friend of her father. Though she was sufficiently acquainted with Laura
to know that chiding would effect no change in her sentiments or
conduct, she had not temper enough to restrain her upbraidings on this
subject, but varied them with all the skill and perseverance of a
veteran in provocation. 'She did not, she must confess, understand the
delicacy of ladies whose affections could be transferred from one man to
another. She did not see how any modest woman could find two endurable
men in the world. It was a farce to tell her of friendship and
gratitude, and such like stuff. Everybody knew the meaning of a
friendship between a girl of nineteen and a good-looking young fellow of
five-and-twenty. She wondered whether Laura was really wise enough to
imagine that De Courcy could afford to marry her; or whether, if he were
mad enough to think of such a thing, she could be so ungenerous as to
take advantage of his folly, to plunge him into irretrievable poverty;
and this too, when it was well known that a certain young heiress had
prior claims upon him.' Laura at first listened to these harangues with
tolerable sang froid; yet they became, she was unconscious why, every
day more provoking. Though she had self-command enough to be silent, her
changing colour announced Lady Pelham's victory, and it was followed up
without mercy or respite. It had, however, no other effect than that of
imposing a restraint when her Ladyship happened to be present; for De
Courcy continued his attentions, and Laura received him with increasing
favour.
Lady Pelham omitted none of the minor occasions of disturbing this
harmonious intercourse. She interrupted their tte  ttes, beset them
in their walks, watched their most insignificant looks, pried into their
most common-place messages, and dexterously hinted to the one whatever
foible she could see or imagine in the other. A casual breath of scandal
soon furnished her with a golden opportunity of sowing dissension, and
she lost no time in taking advantage of the hint. 'It is treating me
like a baby,' said she once to Laura, after opening in form her daily
attack; 'it is treating me like a mere simpleton to expect that you are
to deceive me with your flourishing sentiments about esteem and
gratitude. Have esteem and gratitude the blindness of love? Don't I see
that you overlook in your beloved Mr Montague De Courcy faults which in
another you would think sufficient excuse for any ill treatment that you
chose to inflict?' Laura kept silence; for of late she had found that
her temper could not stand a charge of this kind. 'What becomes of all
your fine high-flown notions of purity, and so forth,' continued Lady
Pelham, 'when you excuse his indiscretions with his mother's protege,
and make a favourite and a plaything of his spoilt bantling?' Laura
turned pale, then reddened violently. 'What protege? what bantling?'
cried she, quite thrown off her guard. 'I know of no indiscretions--I
have no playthings.'--'What! you pretend not to know that the brat he
takes so much notice of is his own. Did you never hear of his affair
with a pretty girl whom his mamma was training as a waiting-maid for her
fine-lady daughter.' 'Mr De Courcy, Madam!' cried Laura, making a
powerful struggle with her indignation--'He seduce a girl who as a
member of his family was doubly entitled to his protection! Is it
possible that your Ladyship can give credit to such a calumny?'
'Heyday,' cried Lady Pelham, with a provoking laugh, 'a most incredible
occurrence to be sure! And pray why should your immaculate Mr De Courcy
be impeccable any more than other people?' 'I do not imagine, Madam,'
returned Laura, with recovered self-possession, 'that Mr De Courcy, or
any of the human race, is perfectly sinless; but nothing short of proof
shall convince me that he is capable of deliberate wickedness; or even
that the casual transgressions of such a man can be so black in their
nature, so heinous in their degree. It were next to a miracle if one who
makes conscience of guarding his very thoughts, could, with a single
step, make such progress in iniquity.' 'It were a miracle indeed,' said
Lady Pelham, sneeringly, 'if you could be prevailed upon to believe any
thing that contradicts your romantic vagaries. As long as you are
determined to worship Mr De Courcy, you'll never listen to any thing
that brings him down from his pedestal.' 'It is wasting time,' returned
Laura calmly, 'to argue on the improbability of this malicious tale. I
can easily give your Ladyship the pleasure of being able to contradict
it. Mrs Bolingbroke is at Norwood. She will tell me frankly who is the
real father of little Henry, and I shall feel no difficulty in asking
her. Will you have the goodness to lend me the carriage for an hour?' 'A
pretty expedition truly!' cried Lady Pelham, 'and mighty delicate and
dignified it is for a young lady, to run about inquiring into the
pedigree of all the bastards in the county! I assure you, Miss
Montreville, I shall neither countenance nor assist such a scheme!'
'Then, Madam,' answered Laura coolly, 'I shall walk to Norwood. The
claims of dignity, or even of delicacy, are surely inferior to those of
justice and gratitude. But though it should subject me to the scorn of
all mankind, I will do what in me lies to clear his good name whose
kindness ministered the last comforts that sweetened the life of my
father.'
The manner in which these words were pronounced, shewed Lady Pelham that
resistance was useless. She was far from wishing to quarrel with the De
Courcy family, and she now began to fear that she should appear the
propagator of this scandal. Having little time to consult the means of
safety, since Laura was already leaving the room, she hastily said, 'I
suppose in your explanations with Mrs Bolingbroke, you will give me up
for your authority?' 'No, Madam,' replied Laura, with a scorn which she
could not wholly suppress, 'your Ladyship has no right to think so at
the moment when I am shewing such concern for the reputation of my
friends.' Lady Pelham would have fired at this disdain, but her
quietus was at hand--she was afraid of provoking Laura to expose her,
and therefore she found it perfectly possible to keep her temper. 'If
you are resolved to go,' said she, 'you had better wait till I order the
carriage; I fear we shall have rain.' Laura at first refused; but Lady
Pelham pressed her, with so many kind concerns for a slight cold which
she had, that though she saw through the veil, she suffered her Ladyship
to wear it undisturbed. The carriage was ordered, and Laura hastened to
Norwood.
Though she entertained not the slightest doubt of De Courcy's integrity,
she was restless and anxious. It was easy to see that her mind was
pre-occupied during the few minutes which passed before, taking leave of
Mrs De Courcy, she begged Mrs Bolingbroke to speak with her apart.
Harriet followed her into another room; and Laura, with much more
embarrassment than she had expected to feel, prepared to begin her
interrogation. Harriet, from the thoughtful aspect of her companion,
anticipating something of importance, stood gravely waiting to hear what
she had to say; while Laura was confused by the awkwardness of
explaining her reason for the question she was about to ask. 'I have
managed this matter very ill,' said she at last, pursuing her thoughts
aloud. 'I have entered on it with so much formality, that you must
expect some very serious affair; and, after all, I am only going to ask
a trifling question. Will you tell me who is the father of my pretty
little Henry?' Harriet looked surprised, and answered,--'Really, my
dear, I am not sure that I dare. You inquired the same thing once
before; and just when I was going to tell you, Montague looked so
terrible, that I was forced to hold my tongue. But what makes you ask?
What! You won't tell? Then I know how it is. My prophecy has proved
true, and the good folks have given him to Montague himself. Ah! What a
tell-tale face you have, Laura! And who has told you this pretty story?'
'It is of no consequence,' replied Laura, 'that you should know my
authority, provided that I have yours to contradict the slander.' 'You
shall have better authority than mine,' returned Harriet. 'Those who
were malicious enough to invent such a tale of Montague, might well
assert that his sister employed falsehood to clear him. You shall hear
the whole from nurse Margaret herself; and her evidence cannot be
doubted. Come, will you walk to the cottage and hear what she has to
say?'
They found Margaret alone; and Harriet, impatient till her brother
should be fully justified, scarcely gave herself time to answer the old
woman's civilities, before she entered on her errand. 'Come, nurse,'
said she, with all her natural frankness of manner, 'I have something
particular to say to you. Let's shut the door and sit down. Do you know
somebody has been malicious enough to tell Miss Montreville that
Montague is little Henry's father.' Margaret lifted up her hands and
eyes. 'My young master, Madam!' cried she--'He go to bring shame and
sorrow into any honest man's family! If you'll believe me, Miss,'
continued she, turning to Laura, 'this is, begging your pardon, the
wickedest lie that ever was told.' Laura was about to assure her that
she gave no credit to the calumny, but Harriet, who had a double reason
for wishing that her friend should listen to Margaret's tale,
interrupted her, saying, 'Nurse, I am sure nothing could convince her so
fully as hearing the whole story from your own lips. I brought her
hither on purpose; and you may trust her, I assure you, for she is just
such a wise prudent creature as you always told me that I ought to be.'
'Ah, Madam,' answered Margaret, 'I know that; for John says she is the
prettiest-behaved young lady he ever saw; and says how fond my lady is
of her, and others too besides my lady, though it is not for servants to
be making remarks.' 'Come, then, nurse,' said Harriet, 'sit down between
us; and tell us the whole sad story of my poor foster-sister, and clear
your friend Montague from this aspersion.' Margaret did as she was
desired. 'Ah, yes!' said she, tears lending to her eyes a transient
brightness, 'I can talk of it now! Many a long evening John and I speak
of nothing else. She always used to sit between us,--but now we both sit
close together. But we are growing old,' continued she, in a more
cheerful tone, 'and in a little while we shall see them all again. We
had three of the prettiest boys!--My dear young lady, you will soon have
children of your own, but never set your heart upon them, nor be too
proud of them, for that is only provoking Providence to take them away.'
'I shall probably never have so much reason,' said Harriet, 'as you had
to be proud of your Jessy.' The mother's pride had survived its object;
and it brightened Margaret's faded countenance, as, pressing Harriet's
hand between her own, she cried, 'Ah, bless you! you were always kind to
her. She was indeed the flower of my little flock; and when the boys
were taken away, she was our comfort for all. But I was too proud of
her. Five years since, there was not her like in all the country round.
A dutiful child, too, and never made us sad or sorrowful till--and such
a pretty modest creature! But I was too proud of her.'
Margaret stopped, and covered her face with the corner of her apron.
Sympathizing tears stood in Laura's eyes; while Harriet sobbed aloud at
the remembrance of the play-fellow of her infancy. The old woman first
recovered herself. 'I shall never have done at this rate,' said she,
and, drying her eyes, turned to address the rest of her tale to Laura.
'Well, Ma'am, a gentleman who used to come a-visiting to the castle, by
ill fortune chanced to see her; and ever after that he noticed her and
spoke to her; and flattered me up, too, saying, what a fine-looking
young creature she was, and so well brought up too, and what a pity it
was that she should be destined for a tradesman's wife. So, like a fool
as I was, I thought no harm of his fine speeches, because Jessy always
said he behaved quite modest and respectful like. But John, to be sure,
was angry, and said that a tradesman was her equal, and that he hoped
her rosy cheeks would never give her notions above her station; and,
says he,--I am sure many and many a time I have thought of his
words--says he, 'God grant I never see worse come of her than to be an
honest tradesman's wife.' My young master, too, saw the gentleman one
day speaking to her; and he was so good as advise her himself, and told
her that the gentleman meant nothing honest by all his fine speeches. So
after that, she would never stop with him at all, nor give ear to a word
of his flatteries; but always ran away from him, telling him to say
those fine things to his equals. So, one unlucky day I had some matters
to be done in the town, and Jessy said she would like to go, and poor
foolish I was so left to myself that I let her go. So she dressed
herself in her clean white gown.--I remember it as were it but
yesterday. I went to the door with her, charging her to be home early.
She shook hands with me. Jessy, says I, you look just like a bride. So
she smiled. No, mother, says she, I shan't leave home so merrily the day
I leave it for all--and I never saw my poor child smile again. So she
went, poor lamb, little thinking!--and I stood in the door looking after
her, thinking, like a fool as I was, that my young master need not have
thought it strange though a gentleman had taken her for a wife, for
there were not many ladies that looked like her.'
Margaret rested her arms upon her knees, bent her head over them, made a
pause, and then began again. 'All day I was merry as a lark, singing and
making every thing clean in our little habitation here, where I thought
we should sit down together so happy when John came home at night from
the castle. So it was getting darkish before my work was done, and then
I began to wonder what was become of Jessy; and many a time I went
across the green to see if there was any sight of her. At last John came
home, and I told him that I was beginning to be frightened; but he
laughed at me, and said she had perhaps met with some of her comrades,
and was gone to take her tea with them. So we sat down by the fire; but
I could not rest, for my mind misgave me sadly; so says I, John, I will
go and see after my girl. Well, says he, we may as well go and meet
her.--Alas! Alas! a sad meeting was that! We went to the door; I opened
it, and somebody fell against me.--It was Jessy. She looked as dead as
she did the day I laid her in her coffin; and all her pretty cheek was
blue, and her pretty mouth, that used to smile so sweetly in my face
when she was a baby on my knee, it was all bloody. And her pretty
shining hair that I used to comb so often--Oh woe, woe is me! How could
I see such a sight and live.'
The mother wrung her withered hands, and sobbed as if her heart were
breaking. Laura laid her arms kindly round old Margaret's neck, for
misfortune made the poor and the stranger her equal and her friend. She
offered no words of unavailing consolation, but pitying tears trickled
fast down her cheeks; while Mrs Bolingbroke, her eyes flashing indignant
fires, exclaimed, 'Surely the curse of heaven will pursue that wretch!'
'Alas!' said Margaret, 'I fear I cursed him too; but I was in a manner
beside myself then. God forgive both him and me! My poor child never
cursed him. All that I could say she would not tell who it was that had
used her so. She said she should never bring him to justice; and always
prayed that his own conscience might be his only punishment. So from the
first we saw that her heart was quite broken; for she would never speak
nor look up, nor let me do the smallest thing for her, but always said
it was not fit that I should wait on such a one as she. Well, one night,
after we were all a-bed, a letter was flung in at the window of Jessy's
closet, and she crept out of her bed to take it. I can shew it you,
Miss, for it was under her pillow when she died.' Margaret, unlocking a
drawer, took out a letter and gave it to Laura, who read in it these
words:
'My dear Jessy, I am the most miserable wretch upon earth. I
wish I had been upon the rack the hour I met you. I am sure I
have been so ever since. Do not curse me, dear Jessy! Upon my
soul, I had far less thought of being the ruffian I have been
to you, than I have at this moment of blowing out my own
brains. I wish to heaven that I had been in your own station
that I might have made you amends for the injury I have done.
But you know it is impossible for me to marry you. I inclose a
bank-bill for 100, and I will continue to pay you the same sum
annually while you live, though you should never consent to see
me more. If you make me a father, no expence shall be spared to
provide the means of secrecy and comfort. No accommodation
which a wife could have shall be withheld from you. Tell me if
there be any thing more than I can do for you. I shall never
forgive myself for what I have done. I abhor myself, and from
this hour, I forswear all woman-kind for your sake. Once more,
dear Jessy, pardon me I implore you.'
This letter was without signature; but the hand-writing was familiar to
Laura, and could not be mistaken. It was Hargrave's. Shuddering at this
new proof of his depravity, Laura inwardly offered a thanksgiving that
she had escaped all connection with such a monster. 'You may trust my
friend with the wretch's name,' said Harriet, anxious that Laura's
conviction should be complete. 'She will make no imprudent use of it.'
'I should never have known it myself had it not been for this letter,'
answered Margaret. 'But my poor child wished to answer it, and she was
not able to carry the answer herself, so she was obliged to ask her
father to go with it. And first she made us both promise on the Bible,
never to bring him either to shame or punishment; and then she told us
that it was that same Major Hargrave that used to speak her so fair.
Here is the scroll that John took of her answer.'
'Sir, I return your money, for it can be of no use where I am
going. I will never curse you; but trust I shall to the last
have pity on you, who had no pity on me. I fear your sorrow is
not right repentance; for, if it was, you would never think of
committing a new sin by taking your own life, but rather of
making reparation for the great evil you have done. Not that I
say this in respect of wishing to be your wife. My station
makes that unsuitable, more especially now when I should be a
disgrace to any man. And I must say, a wicked person would be
as unsuitable among my friends; for my parents are honest
persons, although their daughter is so unhappy as to bring
shame on them. I shall not live long enough to disgrace them
any farther, so pray inquire no more of me, nor take the
trouble to send me money, for I will not buy my coffin with the
wages of shame; and I shall need nothing else. So, wishing that
my untimely end may bring you to a true repentance, I remain,
Sir, the poor dying disgraced,
'JESSY WILSON.'
'Ah, Miss,' continued Margaret, wiping from the paper the drops which
had fallen on it, 'my poor child's prophecy was true. She always said
she would just live till her child was born, and then lay her
dishonoured head and her broken heart in the grave. My Lady and Miss
Harriet there were very kind, and my young master himself was so good as
to promise that he would act the part of a father to the little orphan.
And he used to argue with her that she should submit to the chastisement
that was laid upon her, and that she might find some comfort still; but
she always said that her chastisement was less than she deserved, but
that she could never wish to live to be 'a very scorn of men, an outcast
and an alien among her mother's children.' So the day that little Henry
was born, she was doing so well that we were in hopes she would still be
spared to us; but she knew better; and, when I was sitting by her, she
pulled me close to her and said, 'Mother,' says she, looking pleased
like, 'the time of my release is at hand now,' and then she charged me
never to give poor little Henry to his cruel father. I had not the power
to say a word to her, but sat hushing the baby, with my heart like to
break. So, by and by, she said to me again; but very weak and low like,
'my brothers lie side by side in the churchyard, lay me at their feet;
it is good enough for me.' So she never spoke more, but closed her
eyes, and slipped quietly away, and left her poor old mother.'
A long paused followed Margaret's melancholy tale. 'Are you convinced,
my friend,' said Mrs Bolingbroke at length. 'Fully,' answered Laura, and
returned to silent and thankful meditation. 'My master,' said Margaret,
'has made good his promise to poor Jessy. He has shewn a father's
kindness to her boy. He paid for his nursing, and forces John to take a
board for him that might serve any gentleman's son; and now it will be
very hard if the end of all his goodness is to get himself ill spoken
of; and nobody saying a word against him that was the beginning of all
this mischief. But that is the way of the world.' 'It is so,' said
Laura. 'And what can better warn us that the earth was never meant for
our resting-place. The "raven" wings his way through it triumphant. The
"dove" finds no rest for the sole of her foot, and turns to the ark from
whence she came.'
Mrs Bolingbroke soon after took leave of her nurse, and the ladies
proceeded in their walk towards Walbourne. Harriet continued to express
the warmest detestation of the profligacy of Hargrave, while Laura's
mind was chiefly occupied in endeavouring to account for De Courcy's
desire to conceal from her the enormity which had just come to her
knowledge. Unable to divine his reason, she applied to Harriet. 'Why my
dear,' said she, 'should your brother have silenced you on a subject
which could only be mentioned to his honour?' 'He never told me his
reasons,' said Harriet smiling, 'but if you will not be angry I may try
to guess them.' 'I think,' said Laura, 'that thus cautioned, I may
contrive to keep my temper; so speak boldly.' 'Then, my dear,' said
Harriet, 'I may venture to say that I think he suspected you of a
partiality for this wretch, and would not shock you by a full disclosure
of his depravity. And I know,' added she, in a voice tremulous with
emotion, 'that in him this delicacy was virtue; for the peace of his
life depends on securing your affectionate, your exclusive preference.'
'Ah, Harriet, you have guessed right.--Yes! I see it all. Dear generous
De Courcy!' cried Laura, and burst into tears. Harriet had not time to
comment upon this agitation; for the next moment De Courcy himself was
at her side. For the first time, Laura felt embarrassed and distressed
by his presence. The words she had just uttered still sounded in her
ear, and she trembled lest they had reached that of De Courcy. She was
safe. Her exclamation was unheard by Montague,--but he instantly
observed her tears, and they banished from his mind every other idea
than that of Laura in sorrow. He paid his compliments like one whose
attention was distracted, and scarcely answered what his sister
addressed to him. Mrs Bolingbroke inwardly enjoying his abstraction and
Laura's embarrassment, determined not to spoil an opportunity which she
judged so favourable to her brother's suit. 'This close walk,' said she
with a sly smile, 'was never meant for a trio. It is just fit for a pair
of lovers. Now I have letters to write, and if you two will excuse
me'--De Courcy colouring crimson, had not presence of mind to make any
reply, while Laura, though burning with shame and vexation, answered
with her habitual self-command, 'Oh, pray my dear, use no ceremony. Here
are none but friends.' The emphasis which she laid upon the last word,
wrung a heavy sigh from De Courcy; who, while his sister was taking
leave, was renewing his resolution not to disappoint the confidence of
Laura.
The very circumstances which Mrs Bolingbroke had expected should lead to
a happy eclaircissement, made this interview the most reserved and
comfortless which the two friends had ever had. Laura was too conscious
to talk of the story which she had just heard, and she was too full of
it to enter easily upon any other subject. With her gratitude for the
delicacy which De Courcy had observed towards her, was mingled a keen
feeling of humiliation at the idea that he had discovered her secret
before it had been confided to him; for we can sometimes confess a
weakness which we cannot without extreme mortification see detected. Her
silence and depression infected De Courcy; and the few short constrained
sentences which were spoken during their walk, formed a contrast to the
general vivacity of their conversations. Laura however recovered her
eloquence as soon as she found herself alone with Lady Pelham. With all
the animation of sensibility, she related the story of the ill-fated
Jessy; and disclosing in confidence the name of her destroyer, drew, in
the fulness of her heart, a comparison between the violator of laws
human and divine, owing his life to the mercy of the wretch whom he had
undone, and the kind adviser of inexperienced youth, the humane
protector of forsaken infancy. Lady Pelham quietly heard her to an end;
and then wrinkling her eyelids, and peeping through them with her
glittering blue eyes, she began, 'Do you know, my dear, I never met with
prejudices so strong as yours? When will you give over looking for
prodigies? Would any mortal but you expect a gay young man to be as
correct as yourself? As for your immaculate Mr De Courcy, with his sage
advices, I think it is ten to one that he wanted to keep the girl for
himself. Besides, I'll answer for it, Hargrave would have bid farewell
to all his indiscretions if you would have married him.' 'Never name it,
Madam,' cried Laura warmly, 'if you would not banish me from your
presence. His marriage with me would have been itself a crime; a crime
aggravated by being, as if in mockery, consecrated to heaven. For my
connection with such a person no name is vile enough.' 'Well, well,'
said Lady Pelham, shrugging her shoulders, 'I prophesy that one day you
will repent having refused to share a title with the handsomest man in
England.' 'All distinctions between right and wrong,' returned Laura,
'must first be blotted from my mind. The beauty of his person is no more
to me than the shining colours of an adder; and the rank which your
Ladyship prizes so highly, would but render me a more conspicuous mark
for the infamy in which his wife must share.'
Awed by the lightnings of Laura's eye, Lady Pelham did not venture to
carry the subject farther for the present. She had of late been watching
an opportunity of procuring the re-admission of Hargrave to the presence
of his mistress; but this fresh discovery had served, if possible, to
widen the breach. Hargrave's fiery temper submitted with impatience to
the banishment which he had so well deserved, and he constantly urged
Lady Pelham to use her authority on his behalf. Lady Pelham, though
conscious that this authority had no existence, was flattered by having
power ascribed to her, and promised at some convenient season to
interfere. Finding herself, however, considerably embarrassed by a
promise which she could not fulfil without hazarding the loss of Laura,
she was not sorry that an opportunity occurred of evading the
performance of her agreement. She therefore acquainted Hargrave with
Laura's recent discovery, declaring that she could not ask her niece to
overlook entirely so great an irregularity. From a regard to the promise
of secrecy which she had given to Laura, as well as in common prudence,
Lady Pelham had resolved not to mention the De Courcy family as the
fountain from which she had drawn her intelligence. Principle and
prudence sometimes governed her Ladyship's resolutions, but seldom
swayed her practice. In the first interview with Hargrave which followed
this rational determination, she was led by the mere vanity of a babbler
to give such hints as not only enabled him to trace the story of his
shame to Norwood, but inclined him to fix the publishing of it upon
Montague.
From the moment when Hargrave first unjustly suspected Laura of a
preference for De Courcy, his heart had rankled with an enmity
which a sense of its ingratitude served only to aggravate. The cool
disdain with which De Courcy treated him--a strong suspicion of his
attachment,--above all, Laura's avowed esteem and regard--inflamed this
enmity to the bitterest hatred. Hopeless as he was of succeeding in his
designs by any fair or honourable means, he might have entertained
thoughts of relinquishing his suit; and of seeking, in a match of
interest, the means of escape from his embarrassments: but that Laura,
with all her unequalled charms, should be the prize of De Courcy, that
in her he should obtain all that beauty, affluence, and love could give,
was a thought not to be endured. Lady Pelham, too, more skilled to
practise on the passions of others than to command her own, was
constantly exciting him, by hints of De Courcy's progress in the favour
of Laura; while Lambert, weary of waiting for the tedious accomplishment
of his own scheme, continually goaded him, with sly sarcasms on his
failure in the arts of persuasion, and on his patience in submitting to
be baffled in his wishes by a haughty girl. In the heat of his
irritation, Hargrave often swore that no power on earth should long
delay the gratification of his love and his revenge. But to marry a
free-born British woman against her consent, is, in these enlightened
times, an affair of some difficulty; and Hargrave, in his cooler
moments, perceived that the object of three years eager pursuit was
farther than ever from his attainment.
Fortune seemed in every respect to oppose the fulfilment of his designs,
for his regiment at this time received orders to prepare to embark for
America; and Lord Lincourt, who had discovered his nephew's ruinous
connection with Lambert, had influence to procure, from high authority,
a hint that Hargrave would be expected to attend his duty on the other
side of the Atlantic.
The news of this arrangement Hargrave immediately conveyed to Lady
Pelham, urging her to sanction any means which could be devised for
making Laura the companion of his voyage. Lady Pelham hesitated to carry
her complaisance so far; but she resolved to make the utmost use of the
time which intervened to promote the designs of her favourite. Her
Ladyship was not at any time much addicted to the communication of
pleasurable intelligence, and the benevolence of her temper was not
augmented by a prospect of the defeat of a plan in which her vanity was
so much interested. She therefore maliciously withheld from her niece a
piece of information so likely to be heard with joy. It reached Laura,
however, by means of one who was ever watchful for her gratification. De
Courcy no sooner ascertained the truth of the report, than he hastened
to convey it to Laura.
He found her alone, and was welcomed with all her accustomed cordiality.
'I am sorry,' said he, with a smile which contradicted his words, 'I am
sorry to be the bearer of bad news to you; but I could not deny myself
the edification of witnessing your fortitude--Do you know that you are
on the point of losing the most assiduous admirer that ever woman was
blessed with? In three weeks Colonel Hargrave embarks for America. Nay,
do not look incredulous. I assure you it is true.' 'Thank Heaven,' cried
Laura, 'I shall once more be in peace and safety!' 'Oh, fie! Is this
your regret for so ardent a lover? Have you no feeling?' 'Just such a
feeling as the poor man had when he escaped from beneath the sword that
hung by a hair. Indeed, Mr De Courcy, I cannot tell you to what a degree
he has embittered the two last years of my life. But I believe,'
continued she, blushing very deeply, 'I need not explain to you any of
my feelings towards Colonel Hargrave, since I find you have I know not
what strange faculty of divining them.' Assisted by a conversation which
he had had with his sister, De Courcy easily understood Laura's meaning.
Respectfully taking her hand, 'Pardon me,' said he, in a low voice, 'if
I have ever ventured to guess what it was your wish to conceal from me.'
'Oh, believe me,' cried Laura, with a countenance and manner of mingled
candour and modesty, 'there is not a thought of my heart that I wish to
conceal from you; since from you, even my most humbling weaknesses are
sure of meeting with delicacy and indulgence. But since you are so good
an augur,' added she, with an ingenuous smile, 'I trust you perceive
that I shall need no more delicacy or indulgence upon the same score.'
The fascinating sweetness of her looks and voice, for the first time
beguiled De Courcy of his promised caution. 'Dear, dear Laura,' he
cried, fondly pressing her hand to his breast, 'it is I who have need of
indulgence, and I must--I must sue for it. I must repeat to you that--'
Laura's heart sprung to her lips, and unconsciously snatching away her
hand, she stood in breathless expectation of what was to follow.
'Madman, that I am!' cried De Courcy, recalled to recollection by her
gesture,--'whither am I venturing!' That was precisely what of all
things Laura was most desirous to know; and she remained with her eyes
fixed on the ground, half dreading the confidence, half the timidity of
her lover. A momentary glance at the speaking countenance of Laura,
glowing with confusion, yet brightened with trembling pleasure, awakened
the strongest hopes that ever had warmed De Courcy's bosom. 'Beloved
Laura,' said he, again tenderly approaching her, 'remember I am but
human. Cease to treat me with this beguiling confidence. Cease to
bewitch me with these smiles, which are so like all that I wish, or
suffer me to--' Laura started, as her attention was drawn by some one
passing close to the ground window near which they were standing. 'Ah!'
cried she, in a tone of vexation, 'there is my evil genius. Colonel
Hargrave is come into the house. He will be here this instant. Excuse me
for driving you away. I beseech you do not remain a moment alone with
him.'
Laura was not mistaken. She had scarcely spoken, ere, with a dark cloud
on his brow, Hargrave entered. He bowed to Laura, who was advancing
towards the door. 'I am afraid, Madam, I interrupt you,' said he,
darting a ferocious scowl upon De Courcy. Laura, without deigning even a
single glance in reply, left the room. Hargrave, as he passed the
window, had observed the significant attitude of the lovers; and his
jealousy and rage were inflamed to the uttermost by the scorn which he
had endured in the presence of his rival. Fiercely stalking up to De
Courcy, 'Is it to you, Sir,' said he, 'that I am indebted for this
insolence?' 'No Sir,' answered De Courcy, a little disdainfully. 'I have
not the honour of regulating Miss Montreville's civilities.' 'This is a
paltry evasion,' cried Hargrave. 'Is it not to your misrepresentations
of a youthful indiscretion that I owe Miss Montreville's present
displeasure?' 'I am not particularly ambitious of the character of an
informer,' answered De Courcy; and taking his hat wished Hargrave a
stately good morning. 'Stay, Sir!' cried Hargrave, roughly seizing him
by the arm. 'I must have some further conversation with you--You don't
go yet.' 'I am not disposed to ask your permission,' returned De Courcy;
and coolly liberating his arm, walked out of the house. Boiling with
rage, Hargrave followed him. 'It is easy to see, Sir,' said he, 'from
whence you borrow a spirit that never was natural to you--Your
presumption builds upon the partiality of that fickle capricious woman.
But observe, Sir, that I have claims on her; claims which she herself
was too happy in allowing; and no man shall dare to interfere with
them.' 'I shall dare,' returned De Courcy, anger kindling in his eyes,
'to inquire by what right you employ such expressions in regard to Miss
Montreville; and whether my spirit be my own or not, you shall find it
sufficient to prevent your holding such language in my presence.' 'In
your presence, or the presence of all the devils,' cried De Courcy, 'I
will maintain my right; and, if you fancy that it interferes with any
claim of yours, you know how to obtain satisfaction. There is but one
way to decide the business.' 'I am of your opinion,' replied De Courcy,
'that there is one way, provided that we can mutually agree to bide by
it; and that is, an appeal to Miss Montreville herself.' Hargrave turned
pale, and his lip quivered with rage. 'A mode of decision, no doubt,'
said he, 'which your vanity persuades you will be all in your favour!
No, no, Sir, our quarrel must be settled by means in which even your
conceit cannot deny my equality.' 'By a brace of pistols, you mean of
course,' said De Courcy, coolly; 'but I frankly tell you. Colonel
Hargrave, that my notions must have changed before I can find the
satisfaction of a gentleman in being murdered; and my principles, before
I shall seek it in murdering you.' 'Curse on your hypocrisy!' cried
Hargrave. 'Keep this canting to cozen girls, and let me avenge my wrongs
like a man, or the world shall know you, Sir.' 'Do you imagine,' said De
Courcy, with a smile of calm disdain, 'that I am to be terrified into
doing what I tell you I think wrong, by the danger of a little
misrepresentation? You may, if you think fit, tell the world that I will
not stake my life in a foolish quarrel, nor wilfully send an unrepenting
sinner to his great account; and, if you go on to ascribe for my
forbearance any motive which is derogatory to my character, I may, if
I think fit, obtain justice as a peacable citizen ought; or I may
leave you undisturbed the glory of propagating a slander which even you
yourself believe to be groundless.'
De Courcy's coolness served only to exasperate his adversary. 'Truce
with this methodistical jargon!' cried he fiercely. 'It may impose upon
women, but I see through it, Sir--see that it is but a miserable trick
to escape what you dare not meet.' 'Dare not!' cried De Courcy,
lightnings flashing from his eye. 'My nerves have failed me, then,
since'--He stopped abruptly, for he scorned at such a moment to remind
his antagonist of the courageous effort to which he owed his life.
'Since when!' cried Hargrave, more and more enraged, as the recollection
which De Courcy had recalled, placed before him the full turpitude of
his conduct.--'Do you think I owe you thanks for a life which you have
made a curse to me, by cheating me of its dearest pleasures. But may
tortures be my portion if I do not foil you!'
The latter part of this dialogue was carried on in a close shady lane
which branched off from the avenue of Walbourne. The dispute was
proceeding with increasing warmth on both sides when it was interrupted
by the appearance of Laura. From a window she had observed the gentlemen
leave the house together; had watched Hargrave's angry gestures, and
seen De Courcy accompany him into the by-path. The evil which she had so
long dreaded seemed now on the point of completion; and alarm leaving no
room for reserve, she followed them with her utmost speed.
'Oh, Mr De Courcy,' she cried, with a look and attitude of most earnest
supplication, 'for mercy leave this madman!--If you would not make me
for ever miserable, carry this no further--I entreat--I implore you.
Fear for me, if you fear not for yourself.' The tender solicitude for
the safety of his rival, which Hargrave imagined her words and gestures
to express, the triumphant delight which they called up to the eyes of
De Courcy, exasperated Hargrave beyond all bounds of self-command.
Frantic with jealousy and rage, he drew, and rushed fiercely on De
Courcy; but Montague having neither fear nor anger to disturb his
presence of mind, parried the thrust with his cane, closed with his
adversary before he could recover, wrested the weapon from his hand; and
having calmly ascertained that no person could be injured by its fall,
threw it over the fence into the adjoining field. Then taking Hargrave
aside, he whispered that he would immediately return to him; and, giving
his arm to Laura, led her towards the house.
She trembled violently, and big tears rolled down her colourless cheeks,
as, vainly struggling with her emotion, she said, 'Surely you will not
endanger a life so precious, so'--She was unable to proceed; but, laying
her hand on De Courcy's arm, she raised her eyes to his face, with such
a look of piteous appeal as reached his very soul. Enchanted to find his
safety the object of such tender interest, he again forgot his caution;
and, fondly supporting with his arm the form which seemed almost sinking
to the earth, 'What danger would I not undergo,' he cried, 'to purchase
such concern as this! Be under no alarm, dear Miss Montreville. Even if
my sentiments in regard to duelling were other than they are, no
provocation should tempt me to implicate your revered name in a quarrel
which would, from its very nature, become public.' Somewhat
tranquillized by his words, Laura walked silently by his side till they
reached the house, when, in a cheerful tone, he bade her farewell. 'A
short farewell,' said he, 'for I must see you again this evening.'
Laura could scarcely prevail on herself to part from him. 'May I trust
you?' said she, with a look of anxiety that spoke volumes. 'Securely,
dearest Laura,' answered he. 'He whom you trust needs no other motive
for rectitude.' He then hastened from her into the field, whither he had
thrown Hargrave's sword; and having found it, sprung over into the lane
where he had left its owner. Gracefully presenting it to him, De Courcy
begged pardon for having deprived him of it, 'though,' added he, 'I
believe you are now rather disposed to thank me for preventing the
effects of a momentary irritation.' Hargrave took his sword, and, in
surly silence walked on; then, suddenly stopping, he repeated that there
was only one way in which the quarrel could be decided; and asked De
Courcy whether he was determined to refuse him satisfaction. 'The only
satisfaction,' returned De Courcy, 'which is consistent with my notions
of right and wrong, I will give you now, on the spot. It is not to my
information that you owe Miss Montreville's displeasure. Circumstances,
which I own were wholly foreign to any consideration of your interests,
induced me to keep your secret almost as if it had been my own; and it
is from others that she has learnt a part of your conduct, which, you
must give me leave to say, warrants, even on the ground of modern
honour, my refusal to treat you as an equal.' 'Insolent!' cried
Hargrave, 'Leave me--avoid me, if you would not again provoke me to
chastise you, unarmed as you are.' 'My horses wait for me at the gate,'
said De Courcy, coolly proceeding by his side, 'and your way seems to
lie in the same direction as mine.'
The remainder of the way was passed in silence. At the gate, De Courcy
mounting his horse, bid his rival good morning, which the other returned
with an ungracious bow. De Courcy rode home, and Hargrave, finding
himself master of the field, returned to Walbourne. There he exerted his
utmost influence with Lady Pelham to procure an opportunity of excusing
himself to Laura. Lady Pelham confessed that she could not venture to
take the tone of command, lest she should drive Laura to seek shelter
elsewhere; but she promised to contrive an occasion for an interview
which he might prolong at his pleasure, provided such a one could be
found without her apparent interference. With this promise he was
obliged for the present to content himself, for, during his stay, Laura
did not appear. She passed the day in disquiet. She could not rest. She
could not employ herself. She dreaded lest the interview of the morning
should have been only preparatory to one of more serious consequence.
She told herself a hundred times that she was sure of De Courcy's
principles; and yet feared as if they had been unworthy of confidence.
He had promised to see her in the evening, and she anxiously expected
the performance of his promise. She knew that if he came while Lady
Pelham was in the way, her Ladyship would be too vigilant a guard to let
one confidential word be exchanged. She therefore, with a
half-pardonable cunning, said not a word of De Courcy's promised visit;
and as soon as her aunt betook herself to her afternoon's nap, stole
from the drawing-room to receive him. Yet perhaps she never met him with
less semblance of cordiality. She blushed and stammered while she
expressed her hopes that the morning's dispute was to have no further
consequences, and apologized for the interest she took in it, in
language more cold than she would have used to a mere stranger. Scarcely
could the expression of tenderness have delighted the lover like this
little ill-concealed affectation, the first and the last which he ever
witnessed in Laura Montreville. 'Ah, dearest Laura,' cried he, 'it is
too late to retract--You have said that my safety was dear to you; owned
that it was for me you feared this morning, and you shall not cancel
your confession.' Laura's colour deepened to crimson, but she made no
other reply. Then, with a more timid voice and air, De Courcy said, 'I
would have told you then what dear presumptuous hopes your anxiety
awakened, but that I feared to extort from your agitation what perhaps a
cooler moment might refuse me. My long-loved, ever dear Laura, will you
pardon me these hopes? Will you not speak to me?--Not one little word to
tell me that I am not too daring.' Laura spoke not even that little
word. She made a faint struggle to withdraw the hand which De Courcy
pressed. Yet the lover read the expressions of her half-averted face,
and was satisfied.
CHAPTER XXXI
'Pray,' said Lady Pelham to her niece, 'what might you and your paragon
be engaged in for the hour and a half you were together this evening?'
'We were discussing a very important subject, Madam,' answered Laura,
mustering all her confidence.
'May I be permitted to inquire into the nature of it?' returned Lady
Pelham, covering her spleen with a thin disguise of ceremony.
'Certainly, Madam,' replied Laura. 'You may remember I once told you
that if ever I received addresses which I could with honour reveal, I
should bespeak your Ladyship's patience for my tale. Mr De Courcy was
talking of marriage, Madam; and--and I--'
'Oh, mighty well, Miss Montreville,' cried Lady Pelham, swelling with
rage, 'I comprehend you perfectly. You may spare your modesty. Keep all
these airs and blushes till you tell Colonel Hargrave, that all your
fine high-flown passion for him has been quite at the service of the
next man you met with!'
Laura's eyes filled with tears of mortification, yet she meekly
answered, 'I am conscious that the degrading attachment of which I was
once the sport merits your upbraidings; and indeed they have not been
its least punishment.' She paused for a moment, and then added with an
insinuating smile. 'I can bear that you should reproach me with my new
choice, for inconstancy is the prescriptive right of woman, and nothing
else can be objected to my present views.'
'Oh, far be it from me!' cried Lady Pelham, scorn and anger throwing her
whole little person into active motion, 'far be it from me to make any
objection to your immaculate swain! I would have you understand,
however, that no part of my property shall go to enrich a parcel of
proud beggars. It was indeed my intention, if you had made a proper
match, to give you the little all that I have to bestow; but if you
prefer starving with your methodist parson to being the heiress of
five-and-forty thousand pounds, I have no more to say. However, you had
better keep your own secret. The knowledge of it might probably alter Mr
De Courcy's plans a little.'
'Your Ladyship,' answered Laura, with spirit, 'has good access to know
that the love of wealth has little influence on my purposes; and I
assure you that Mr De Courcy would scorn upon any terms to appropriate
what he considers as the unalienable right of your own child. Though we
shall not be affluent, we shall be too rich for your charity, and that
is the only claim in which I could compete with Mrs Herbert.'
This mention of her daughter exasperated Lady Pelham to fury. In a voice
half-choked with passion, she cried, 'Neither that rebellious wretch nor
any of her abbettors or imitators shall ever have countenance or
assistance from me. No! Not though they should beg with their starved
bantlings from door to door.' To this intemperate speech Laura made no
reply, but quietly began to pour out the tea. Lady Pelham continued to
hurry up and down the room, chafing, and venting her rage in common
abuse; for a scold in the drawing-room is not very unlike a scold at a
green-stall. The storm meeting with no opposition, at length spent
itself; or subsided into short growlings, uttered at the intervals of a
surly silence. To these, as no answer was absolutely necessary, none was
returned. Laura did not utter a syllable, till Lady Pelham's wrath
beginning to give place to her curiosity, she turned to her niece,
saying, 'Pray, Miss Montreville, when and where is this same wise
marriage of yours to take place?'
'The time is not quite fixed, Madam,' answered Laura. 'As soon as you
can conveniently spare me, I intend going to Scotland; and when you, and
Mrs De Courcy wish me to return, Mr De Courcy will escort me back.'
'I spare you!' returned Lady Pelham with a sneer--'Oh, Ma'am, if that is
all, pray don't let me retard your raptures. You may go tomorrow, or
to-night, Ma'am if you please.--Spare you indeed! Truly while I can
afford to pay a domestic, I need not be dependent on your assistance;
and in attachment or gratitude any common servant may supply your
place.'
The rudeness and ingratitude of this speech again forced the tears to
Laura's eyes; but she mildly replied, 'Well, Madam, as soon as you find
a substitute for me, I shall be ready to depart.' Then to escape
further insult she quitted the room.
Lady Pelham's wrath at the derangement of her plan would not suffer her
to rest till she had communicated the disaster to Colonel Hargrave.
Early next morning, accordingly, she dispatched a note requiring his
immediate presence at Walbourne. He obeyed the summons, and was as usual
privately received by Lady Pelham. He listened to her intelligence with
transports of rage rather than of sorrow. He loaded his rival with
execrations, declaring that he would rather see Laura torn in pieces
than know her to be the wife of De Courcy. He swore that he would
circumvent their schemes, and that though his life should be the
forfeit, he would severely revenge the sufferings he had endured.
Lady Pelham had not courage to encounter the evil spirit which she had
raised. Subdued, and crouching before his violence, she continued to
give a terrified assent to every extravagance he uttered, till he
announced his resolution of seeing Laura on the instant, that he might
know whether she dared to confirm this odious tale. Lady Pelham then
ventured to represent to him that Laura might be so much offended by
this breach of contract, as to take refuge with Mrs De Courcy, a measure
which would oppose a new obstacle to any scheme for breaking off the
intended marriage. She assured him that she would grant every reasonable
assistance in preventing a connection so injurious to her niece's
interest, though she knew Laura's obstinacy of temper too well to hope
any thing from direct resistance. She hinted that it would be most
prudent to give the desired interview the appearance of accident, and
she promised to contrive the occasion as soon as Hargrave was
sufficiently calm to consider of improving it to best advantage.
But calm was a stranger to the breast of Hargrave. The disquiet which is
the appointed portion of the wicked, raged there beyond control. To the
anguish of disappointment were added the pangs of jealousy, and the
heart-burnings of hatred and revenge. Even the loss of the object of
three years eager pursuit was less cutting than the success of De
Courcy; and the pain of a forfeiture which was the just punishment of a
former crime, was heightened to agony by the workings of such passions
as consummate the misery of fiends.
The associates of the wicked must forego the consolations of honest
sympathy. All Hargrave's tortures were aggravated by the sarcasms of
Lambert; who, willing to hasten the fever to its crisis, goaded him with
coarse comments upon the good fortune of his rival, and advices (which
he well knew would act in a direction opposite to their seeming purpose)
to desist from further competition. After spending four-and-twenty hours
in alternate fits of rage and despair, Hargrave returned to Lady Pelham,
informing her, that whatever were the consequences, he would no longer
delay seeing Laura. Lady Pelham had foreseen this demand; and though not
without fear of the event, had prepared for compliance. She had already
arranged her scheme, and the execution was easy.
Laura's favourite walk in the shrubbery led to a little summer-house,
concealed in a thicket of acacias. Thither Lady Pelham had conveyed some
dried plants, and had requested Laura's assistance in classing them.
Laura had readily agreed, and that very morning had been allotted for
the task. Lady Pelham, having first directed Hargrave where to take his
station, accompanied her unsuspecting niece to the summer-house, and
there for a while joined in her employment. Soon, however, feigning a
pretext for half an hour's absence, she quitted Laura, intending at
first to loiter in the shrubbery, as a kind of safeguard against the ill
consequences of her imprudent connivance; but meeting with a gardener
who was going to transplant a bed of favourite auriculas, she followed
him to watch over their safety, leaving her niece to guard her own.
Scarcely had Laura been a minute alone, ere she was startled by the
entrance of Hargrave, and seriously alarmed by seeing him lock the door,
and deliberately secure the key. 'What is it you mean, Sir?' said she,
trembling.
'To decide your fate and mine!' answered Hargrave, with a look and voice
that struck terror to her soul. 'I am told you are a bride, Laura,' said
he, speaking through his clenched teeth. 'Say,' continued he, firmly
grasping her arm. 'Speak! is it so?'
'I know no right,' said Laura, recovering herself, 'that you have to
question me--nor meanly thus to steal--'
'No evasions!' interrupted Hargrave, in a voice of thunder. 'I have
rights--rights which I will maintain while I have being. Now tell me, if
you dare, that you have transferred them to that abhorred--'
He stopped,--his utterance choked by the frenzy into which he had worked
himself. 'What has transported you to this fury, Colonel Hargrave?' said
Laura, calmly. 'Surely you must be sensible, that whatever claims I
might once have allowed you, have long since been made void by your own
conduct. I will not talk to you of principle, though that were of itself
sufficient to sever us forever; but ask yourself what right you can
retain over the woman whom you have insulted, and forsaken, and
oppressed, and outraged?'
'Spare your taunts, Laura. They will only embitter the hour of
retribution. And may hell be my portion, if I be not richly repaid for
all the scorn you have heaped upon me. I will be revenged, proud woman.
You shall be at my mercy, where no cool canting villain can wrest you
from me!'
His threats, and the frightful violence with which they were uttered,
filled Laura with mingled dread and pity. 'Command yourself, I beseech
you, Colonel Hargrave,' said she. 'If you resent the pain which, believe
me, I have most unwillingly occasioned, you are amply revenged. You have
already caused me sufferings which mock description.'
'Yes, yes. I know it,' cried Hargrave in a milder voice. 'You were not
then so hard. You could feel when that vile wanton first seduced me from
you. Then think what I now endure, when this cold-blooded--but may I
perish if I do not snatch his prize from him. And think not of
resistance, Laura; for, by all that I have suffered, resistance shall be
vain.'
'Why do you talk so dreadfully to me?' said Laura, making a trembling
effort to release her arm, which he still firmly grasped. 'Why, why will
you not cease to persecute me? I have never injured you. I have
forgiven, pitied, prayed for you. How have I deserved this worse than
savage cruelty?'
'Laura,' said Hargrave, moved by the pleadings of a voice which would
have touched a murderer's heart, 'you have still a choice. Promise to be
mine. Permit me only, by slow degrees, to regain what I have lost. Say
that months--that years hence you will consent, and you are safe.'
'Impossible!' said Laura. 'I cannot bind myself. Nor could you trust a
promise extorted by fear. Yet be but half what I once thought you, and I
will esteem--'
'Esteem!' interrupted Hargrave, with a ghastly smile. 'Yes! And shrink
from me, as you do now, while you hang on that detested wretch till even
his frozen heart warm to passion. No!' continued he, with an awful
adjuration, 'though the deed bring me to the scaffold, you shall be
mine. You shall be my wife, too, Laura,--but not till you have besought
me--sued at my feet for the title you have so often despised. I will be
master of your fate, of that reputation, that virtue which you
worship--and your minion shall know it, that he may writhe under
jealousy and disappointment.'
'Powers of Mercy!' cried Laura, raising her eyes in strong compunction,
'have I made this mine idol!' Then, turning on Hargrave a look of deep
repentance, 'Yes,' she continued, 'I deserve to see thee as thou art,
without mitigation vile; since on thee my sacrilegious heart bestowed
such love as was due to the Infinite alone!'
'Oh, Laura,' cried Hargrave, softened by the remembrance of her youthful
affection, 'let but one faint spark of that love revive, and I will
forget all your scorns, and feel again such gentle wishes as blest our
first hours of tenderness. Or only swear that you will renounce that
bane of my existence--that you will shrink from him, shun him like a
serpent!--Or give me your word only, and I will trust it. Your liberty,
your person, shall be as sacred as those of angels. Promise them--'
'Why do you attempt to terrify me?' said Laura, her indignation rising
as her alarm subsided. 'I have perhaps no longer the right--even if I
had the inclination--to utter such a vow. I trust that, in this land of
freedom, I am safe from your violence. My reputation, frail as it is,
you cannot harm without permission from on high; and if, for wise
purposes, the permission be given, I doubt not that I shall be enabled
to bear unjust reproach,--nay, even to profit by the wrong.'
Hargrave suffered her to conclude; rage bereft him, for a time, of the
power of utterance. Then, bursting into a torrent of reproach, he
upbraided her in language the most insulting. 'Do you dare to own,' said
he, 'that your base inclinations favour that abhorred--that this
accursed marriage is your choice--your free choice?' He paused in vain
for a reply. Laura would not irritate him further, and scorned to
disguise the truth. 'Then, Laura,' said he, and he confirmed the
sentence with a dreadful oath, 'you have sealed your fate. Think you
that your De Courcy shall foil me? By Heaven, I will see you perish
first. I will tear you from him, though I answer it with my life and
soul. Let this be the pledge of my triumph'--and he made a motion to
clasp her rudely in his arms. With a cry of dread and horror, Laura
sprung from him, and, throwing open the casement, called loudly for
assistance. Hargrave forced her back. 'Spare your alarms, my lovely
proud one,' said he, with a smile, which made her blood run cold. 'You
are safe till we meet where cries will be useless. What! may I not even
kiss this pretty hand, as earnest that you shall soon be mine beyond the
power of fate?' 'Silence, audacious!' cried Laura, bursting into tears
of mingled fear and indignation, while she struggled violently to
disengage her hands. 'Nay, this rosy cheek will content me better,'
cried Hargrave, and was again attempting to clasp her--when the door was
burst suddenly open, and De Courcy appeared.
'Ruffian!' he exclaimed, approaching Hargrave, who, in his surprise,
permitted his prey to escape. Her fears now taking a new direction,
Laura flew to intercept De Courcy. 'Ah!' she cried, 'my folly has done
this. Fly from this madman, I entreat you. I have nothing to fear but
for you. Begone, I implore you.'
'And leave you to such treatment! Not while I have life! When you choose
to go, I will attend you. For you, Sir!--But I must stoop below the
language of a gentleman ere I find words to describe your conduct.'
'For Heaven's sake,' cried Laura, 'dear De Courcy, provoke him no
further. Let us fly this place;' and clinging to De Courcy's arm, she
drew him on; while, with the other, he defended her from Hargrave, who
had advanced to detain her. Her expression of regard, her confiding
attitude, exasperated the frenzy of Hargrave to the uttermost. Almost
unconscious of his actions, he drew a pistol from his pocket and fired.
Laura uttered a cry of terror, clasping her lover's arm more closely to
her breast. 'Be not alarmed love,' whispered De Courcy. 'It is
nothing!'--and staggering forward a few paces, he fell to the ground.
Laura, in desperation rushed from the summer-house, calling wildly for
help; then struck with the fearful thought that Hargrave might complete
his bloody work, she hastened back. During the few moments of her
absence, De Courcy addressed his murderer, whose rage had given place to
a mild stupor. 'I fear this is an unlucky stroke, Hargrave. Save
yourself. My horse is at the gate.' Hargrave answered only with a groan;
and, striking his clenched hand on his forehead, turned away. His crime
was unpremeditated. No train of self-deceit had reconciled his
conscience to its atrocity. The remembrance of the courage which had
saved his life; the generous concern of De Courcy for his safety;
humility, the last virtue which utterly forsakes us, all awakened him to
remorse, keen and overwhelming, like every other passion of Hargrave.
Not bearing to look upon his victim, he stood fixed and motionless;
while Laura, on her knees, watched, in dismay, the changing countenance
of De Courcy, and strove to staunch the blood which was streaming from
his wound.
De Courcy once more tried to cheer Laura with words of comfort. 'Were
it not,' said he, 'for the pleasure this kind concern gives me, I might
tell you that I do not suffer much pain. I am sure I could rise, if I
could trust this slender arm,' laying his hand gently upon it. Laura
eagerly offered her assistance as he attempted to raise himself; but the
effort overpowered him, and he sunk back fainting.
In the strong language of terror, Laura besought Hargrave to procure
help. Still motionless, his forehead resting against the wall, his hands
clenched as in convulsion, Hargrave seemed not to heed her entreaties.
'Have you no mercy?' cried she, clasping the arm from which she had so
lately shrunk in horror. 'He saved your life. Will you let him perish
without aid?' 'Off, woman!' cried Hargrave, throwing her from him. 'Thy
witchcraft has undone me;' and he distractedly hurried away.
Laura's terror was not the passive cowardice of a feeble mind. She was
left alone to judge, to act, for herself--for more than herself.
Immediate, momentous decision was necessary. And she did decide by an
effort of which no mind enfeebled by sloth or selfishness would have
been capable. She saw that loss of blood was the cause of De Courcy's
immediate danger, a danger which might be irremediable before he could
receive assistance from more skilful hands than her's. Such remedy,
then, as she could command she hastened to apply.
To the plants which their beauty had recommended to Lady Pelham, Laura
had added a few of which the usefulness was known to her. Agaric of the
oak was of the number, and she had often applied it where many a hand
less fair would have shrunk from the task. Nor did she hesitate now. The
ball had entered near the neck; and the feminine, the delicate Laura
herself disengaged the wound from its coverings; the feeling, the tender
Laura herself performed an office from which false sensibility would
have recoiled in horror.
She was thus employed when she was found by a woman whom Hargrave had
met and sent to her assistance, with an indistinct message, from which
Laura gathered that he was gone in search of a surgeon. The woman no
sooner cast her eyes on the bloody form of De Courcy, and on the
colourless face of Laura, more death-like than his, than, with noisy
imbecility, she began to bewail and ejaculate. Laura, however, instantly
put a stop to her exclamations by dispatching her for cordials and
assistance. In a few minutes all the household was assembled round De
Courcy; yet such was the general curiosity, horror, or astonishment,
that he would have remained unaided but for the firmness of her who was
most interested in the scene. She dismissed every one whose presence
was unnecessary, and silenced the rest by peremptory command. She
administered a cordial to recruit the failing strength of De Courcy; and
causing him to be raised to the posture which seemed the least painful,
made her own trembling arms his support.
Nothing further now remained to be done, and Laura began to feel the
full horrors of her situation; to weigh the fearful probability that all
her cares were vain; to upbraid herself as the cause of this dire
tragedy. Her anguish was too great to find relief in tears. Pale and
cold as marble, chilly drops bursting from her forehead, she sat in the
stillness of him who waits the sentence of condemnation, save when a
convulsive shudder expressed her suffering.
The mournful quiet was interrupted by the entrance of Lady Pelham, who,
quite out of breath, began a string of questions, mixed with abundance
of ejaculation. 'Bless my soul!' she cried, 'how has all this happened?
For heaven's sake, Laura, tell me the meaning of all this. Why don't you
speak, girl? Good Lord! could you not have prevented these madmen from
quarrelling? What brought De Courcy here? How did he find you out? Why
don't you speak. Mercy on me! Is the girl out of her senses?'
The expression of deep distress with which Laura now raised her eyes,
reminded Lady Pelham of the sensibility requisite upon such an occasion,
which her Ladyship's curiosity had hitherto driven from her
recollection. Approaching, therefore, to De Courcy, she took a hasty
look at this dismal spectacle; and exclaiming, 'Oh what a sight is here!
Unfortunate Laura! Dear wretched girl!' she began first to sob, and then
to scream violently. Laura motioned to the attendants to lead her away;
and she suffered them to do so without resistance; but she had no sooner
crossed the threshold, than, perceiving the spectators whom curiosity
had collected in the shrubbery, she redoubled her shrieks, struggled,
beat herself; and, but for the untoward strength of her nerves, would
have soon converted her pretended fit into reality. Wearied with her
efforts, she was beginning to relax them, when the surgeon appeared, and
her Ladyship was more vociferous than ever. Mr Raby, a quiet sensible
man, undertook her care before he proceeded to his more serious
business; and, either guided by his previous acquaintance with his
patient, or by his experience in similar cases, gave a prescription
which, though simple was perfectly efficacious. He directed that the
lady should be instantly secluded in her own chamber, with only one
attendant; and the remedy proved so beneficial, that her Ladyship
enjoyed a night of tranquil repose.
He next turned his attention to De Courcy; and judging it proper to
extract the ball without delay, advised Laura to retire. Without
opposition she prepared to obey; and, seeing De Courcy about to speak,
put her hand on his lips to save him the exertion, and herself the pain
of a farewell. Yet, as she resigned her charge, raising her eyes to
heaven, once more to commend De Courcy to the divine protection, the
fervour of her supplication burst into words. 'Oh if it be possible! if
it be possible!'--she cried. 'Yes it is possible,' said De Courcy,
comprehending the unfinished sentence. 'Your firmness, noble creature,
has made it possible.' Reproaching herself with having allowed De Courcy
to perceive her alarm, she hastened away; and seating herself on the
steps that led to the door, awaited in silence the event of the
operation.
Here, as she sorrowfully called to mind the various excellencies of De
Courcy, his piety, his integrity, his domestic virtues, so lately known,
so soon to be lost to her, she suddenly recollected the heavier calamity
of the mother deprived of such a son, and perceived the inhumanity of
permitting the stroke to fall without preparation. Having access to no
messenger more tender than a common servant, she determined, though with
unspeakable reluctance, herself to bear the tidings to Mrs De Courcy. 'I
will know the worst,' thought she, 'and then'--
She started at a faint noise that sounded from the summer-house. Steps
approached the door from within. She sprung up, and the surgeon
appeared. 'I have the happiness to tell you,' said he, 'that, if no
fever take place, our friend is safe. The chief danger has been from
loss of blood; and your presence of mind--Ah!--Do you feel faint?'--
The awful interest which had supported the spirits of Laura thus
suddenly withdrawn, the tide of various feeling overpowered them; and
she sunk into one of those long and deep faintings which were now
unhappily become in some degree constitutional with her. Mr Raby having
given directions for her recovery, placed De Courcy in Lady Pelham's
carriage, and himself attended him to Norwood; where he mitigated Mrs De
Courcy's horror and distress by assuring her of her son's safety, which
he again delighted Montague by ascribing to the cares of Laura.
It was late in the evening before Laura was sufficiently collected to
review with composure the events of the day! As soon, however, as she
was capable of considering all the circumstances, a suspicion occurred
that her unfortunate interview with Hargrave had been sanctioned, if not
contrived by Lady Pelham. That he should know the place and the hour in
which he might surprise her alone;--that to this place, which because of
its loneliness she had of late rather deserted, she should be conducted
by her aunt;--that at this moment she should upon a trivial pretence be
left in solitude,--seemed a coincidence too strong to be merely
accidental. She recollected some symptoms of private communication
between Lady Pelham and Hargrave. Suspicions of connivance in the
infamous strategem of her arrest again revived in her mind. Lady Pelham,
she perceived, had afforded her a protection at best imperfect, perhaps
treacherous. Hargrave's late threats too, as she revolved them in her
thoughts, appeared more like the intimations of settled design than the
vague ravings of passion. Prudence, therefore, seemed to require that
she should immediately provide for her own safety: and indignation at
her aunt's breach of confidence, hastened the purpose which she formed,
to leave Walbourne without delay. She determined to go the next morning
to Norwood, there to remain till De Courcy shewed signs of
convalescence, and then perform her long-projected journey to Scotland.
In order to avoid unpleasant altercation, she resolved to depart without
warning Lady Pelham of her intention; merely announcing by letter the
reasons of her conduct. The affectionate Laura would not have parted
from the meanest servant without a kindly farewell; but her innate
abhorrence of treachery steeled her heart, and she rejoiced that it was
possible to escape all present intercourse with her deceitful kinswoman.
As soon as the dawn appeared she arose; and on her knees thankfully
acknowledged the protecting care which had watched over her, since first
as a destitute orphan she applied to Lady Pelham. She blessed the
goodness which had softened in her favour a heart little subject to
benevolent expressions, which had restored her in sickness, consoled her
in sorrow, delivered her from the snares of the wicked, and opened to
her the joys of virtuous friendship. And where is the wretch so
miserable that he may not in the review of eighteen months find subjects
of gratitude still more numerous! Laura began no important action of her
life without imploring a blessing on the event; and she now proceeded to
commend herself and her future prospects to the same care of which she
had glad experience.
The proper business of the morning ended, she had begun to make
arrangements for her immediate departure; when she heard Lady Pelham's
bell ring, and the next instant heard a noise like that occasioned by
the fall of something heavy. She listened for a while, but all was again
still. The rest of the family were yet buried in sleep, and Laura
hearing no one stirring to answer Lady Pelham's summons, began to fear
that her aunt was ill, perhaps unable to make any further effort to
procure assistance. At this idea, all her just indignation subsiding in
a moment, she flew to Lady Pelham's chamber.
Lady Pelham was lying on the floor, having apparently fallen in an
attempt to rise from her bed. She was alive though insensible; and her
face, though altered, was still florid. Laura soon procuring help,
raised her from the ground; and guessing that apoplexy was her disorder,
placed her in an upright posture, loosened her night-clothes, and having
hurried away a servant for Mr Raby, ventured, until his arrival, upon
such simple remedies as she knew might be safely administered. In little
more than an hour the surgeon arrived; and having examined his patient,
declared her to be in extreme danger. Before he left her, however, he
succeeded in restoring her to some degree of recollection; yet, far from
changing his first opinion, he advised Laura to lose no time in making
every necessary use of an amendment which he feared would be only
transient.
From Lady Pelham, he went to Norwood; and returning to Walbourne in the
evening, brought the pleasing intelligence that De Courcy continued to
do well. This second visit produced no change in his sentiments, and he
remained persuaded that though Lady Pelham might continue to linger for
a time, the shock had been too great to allow of complete recovery.
Laura now rejoiced that she had not executed her purpose of leaving
Walbourne; since, had her aunt's illness succeeded to the rage which her
departure would have excited, she could never have ceased to blame
herself as the cause. She looked with profound compassion, too, upon the
condition of an unfortunate being, whose death-bed was neither smoothed
by affection, nor cheered by pious hope. 'Unhappy woman!' thought she,
as she sat watching an unquiet slumber into which her aunt had fallen,
'to whom the best gifts of nature and of fortune have, by some fatality,
been useless, or worse than useless; whose affluence has purchased no
higher joys than half-grudged luxuries; whose abilities have dazzled
others and bewildered herself, but lent no steady light to guide her
way; whose generosity has called forth no gratitude, whose kindness has
awakened no affection; to whom length of days has brought no reverence,
and length of intimacy no friends! Even the sacred ties of nature have
been to her unblessed. Her only child, driven from her in anger, dares
not approach to share the last sad offices with me, who, in performing
them, must forgive as well as pity. Favourite of fortune! what has been
wanting to thee save that blessing which "bringeth no sorrow with it."
But that blessing was light in thine esteem; and amidst the glitter of
thy toys, the "pearl of great price" was disregarded.'
For some days Lady Pelham continued much in the same situation. She
suffered no pain, yet gave no signs of amendment. On the sixth morning
from her first attack she grew suddenly and materially worse. It was
soon discovered that her limbs were paralyzed, and the surgeon declared
that her end could not be very distant. Her senses, however, again
returned, and she continued free from pain. She shewed little
apprehension of her own danger; and Laura debated with herself whether
she should permit her aunt to dream away the last precious hours of
probation, or endeavour to awaken her to a sense of her condition.
Laura had no faith in death-bed repentance. She knew that resolution of
amendment which there is no longer time to practise, and renunciation of
sin made under the immediate prospect of punishment, are at best
suspicious. She knew that, in the ordinary course of providence, the
grace which has been long despised is at length justly withdrawn. Yet
she saw that she had no right to judge Lady Pelham as wholly impenitent;
and she considered a death-bed as highly suitable to the renewal, though
not to the beginning of repentance. She knew too, that the call might
be made effectual at the 'eleventh hour;' and the bare chance was worth
the toil of ages. She felt how little she herself would have valued the
mistaken pity which could suffer her to enter on the 'dark valley'
without a warning to cling closer to the 'staff and rod' of
comfort:--She therefore ventured to hint gently to Lady Pelham the
opinion of her medical friends, and to remind her of the duty of
preparing for the worst.
Lady Pelham at first appeared a good deal shocked; and lay for some time
apparently meditating upon her situation. At last, recovering her
spirits, she said, 'Your nerves, Laura, were always so coarse, that you
seemed to me to take a pleasure in thinking of shocking things; but I
am sure it is abominably barbarous in you to tease me with them now I am
ill. Do keep your horrid fancies to yourself, or keep away till you are
cured of the vapours--I dare say it is your dismal face that makes me
dream so unpleasantly.'
Laura, however, was not to be so discouraged. She took occasion to
represent that no harm could ensue from preparing to meet the foe; since
his march was not to be retarded by shutting our eyes on his advances,
nor hastened by the daring which watched his approach. She at length
thought she had succeeded in convincing her aunt of her danger. Lady
Pelham said that she feared she was dying, and she believed that she
said the truth. But Lady Pelham had had sixty years practice in
self-deceit. The fear might flutter in her imagination, but was not
strong enough to touch her heart. Laura, however, made use of her
acknowledgement to press upon her the duties of forgiveness and charity
towards all mindkind, and especially towards her child; reminding her of
the affecting parity of situation between offending man and his
disobedient offspring. Lady Pelham at first answered impatiently that
she would not be argued on this subject; but as her spirits began to
fail under the first confinement which she had ever endured, she became
more tractable. 'God knows,' said she to Laura, one day, 'we all have
much need to be forgiven; and therefore we must forgive in our turn. For
my part I am sure I die in charity with all mankind, and with that
creature among the rest. However, I shall take my friend the Spectator's
advice, and remember the difference between giving and forgiving.'
Laura often begged permission to send for Mrs Herbert; but Lady Pelham
sometimes postponed it till she should get better, sometimes till she
should grow worse. Laura was in the meantime her constant attendant;
bearing with her peevishness, soothing her caprice, and striving to
rouse in her feelings suitable to her condition. Finding, however, that
she made but little progress in her pious work, she begged that she
might be allowed to take the assistance of a clergyman. 'A clergyman,
child!' cried Lady Pelham. 'Do you imagine me to be a papist? Or do you
think me capable of such weak superstitution as to place more reliance
on a parson's prayers than on yours, or my maid Betty's? No, no! I trust
I have been no worse than other people; and I hope, though I may be
weak, I shall never be fanatical. Besides, I have too high a sense of
the Divine Justice to think that our Maker would first give us
ungovernable passions, and then punish us for yielding to them. A
phlegmatic being like you, may indeed be called to strict account; but
people of strong feelings must be judged by a different standard.' 'Oh,
Madam,' said Laura, 'be assured that our Maker gives us no unconquerable
passions. If we ourselves have made them so, it becomes us to be humbled
in the dust, not to glory in the presumptuous hope that He will soften
the sanctions of his law to favour our remissness.'
Driven from the strong hold of justice, rather by the increase of her
bodily languor, than by the force of truth, the dying sinner had
recourse to mercy,--a mercy, however, of her own composing. 'It is
true,' said she one day to Laura, 'that I have done some things which I
have reason to regret, and which, I must confess, deserve punishment.
But Divine Mercy towards believers, we are told, is infinite; and though
I may at times have doubted, I have never disbelieved.' Laura,
shuddering at this awful blindness, was striving to frame a useful
reply, when she saw her aunt's countenance change. It was distorted by a
momentary convulsion, and then fixed for ever in the stillness of
death.
CHAPTER XXXII
Laura was more shocked than afflicted by the death of a person whom she
was unable to love, and had no reason to respect. She lost no time in
conveying the news to Mrs Herbert, begging that she would herself come
and give the necessary directions. Thinking it proper to remain at
Walbourne till after her aunt's funeral, she refused Mrs De Courcy's
invitation to spend at Norwood the time which intervened. De Courcy
continued to recover fast; and Laura, thinking she might soon leave him
without anxiety, again fixed an early day for her journey to Scotland.
Notwithstanding Laura's knowledge of the phlegmatic temperament of her
cousin, she was surprised at the stoicism with which Mrs Herbert
supported the death of her mother. She examined the dead body with a
cold comment on its appearance; gave orders for the interment in an
unfaltering voice; and neither seemed to feel nor to affect the
slightest concern. Nor did her philosophy appear to fail her one jot,
when, upon opening the will, she was found to be left without
inheritance. The paper, which had been drawn up a few months before,
evinced Lady Pelham's adherence to her scheme for her niece's
advancement; and this, with her obstinate enmity to Mrs Herbert,
furnished the only instance of her consistency or perseverance, which
were ever known to the world. Her whole property she bequeathed to Laura
Montreville, and to her second son upon taking the name of Pelham,
provided that Laura married Colonel Hargrave, or a peer, or the eldest
son of a peer; but if she married a commoner, or remained unmarried, she
was to inherit only ten thousand pounds, the bulk of the property going
to a distant relation.
The very hour that this will was made public, Laura informed the
contingent heir that he might possess himself of his inheritance, since
she would certainly never perform the conditions which alone could
destroy his claim. Not acquiescing in the justice of excluding Mrs
Herbert from her natural rights she would instantly have offered to
share with her cousin the bequest of Lady Pelham; but considering that
her engagement with De Courcy entitled him to decide on the disposal of
whatever belonged to his future wife, she hastened to ask his sanction
to her purpose. De Courcy, without hesitation, advised that the whole
should be given up to its natural owner. 'We shall have enough for
humble comfort, dear Laura,' said he, 'and have no need to grasp at a
doubtful claim.' Laura, however, differed from him in opinion. She
thought she might, in strict justice, retain part of the bequest of so
near a relation; and she felt pleased to think that she should enter the
De Courcy family not altogether portionless. She therefore reserved two
thousand pounds, giving up the rest unconditionally to Mrs Herbert.
These points being settled, nothing now remained to retard Laura's
journey to Scotland. Mrs De Courcy, indeed, urged her to postpone it
till Montague should acquire a right to be her escort; but Laura
objected that it was her wish to give a longer time to her old friend
than she thought it proper to withdraw De Courcy from his business and
his home. She reflected, too, with a light heart, that a protector in
her journey was now less necessary, since her mad lover, as Harriet
called Colonel Hargrave, had embarked for America. Laura had heard of
his departure before her aunt's death; and she gladly observed that
favourable winds were speeding him across the Atlantic.
The day preceding that on which she meant to leave Walbourne, she spent
with Mrs De Courcy and Montague; who, though not entirely recovered, was
able to resume his station in the family-room. De Courcy, with the
enthusiasm of youth and love, spoke of his happy prospects; his mother,
with the sober eye of experience, looked forward to joys as substantial,
though less dazzling; while feminine modesty suppressed the pleasure
with which Laura felt that she was necessary to these schemes of bliss.
With the confidence of mutual esteem they arranged their plan of
life,--a plan at once embracing usefulness and leisure, retirement and
hospitality. Laura consented that one month, 'one little month,' should
begin the accomplishment of these golden dreams; for she permitted De
Courcy to follow her at the end of that time to Scotland. A few weeks
they were to spend in wandering through the romantic scenes of her
native land; and then join Mrs De Courcy at Norwood, which was to
continue her permanent abode.
Laura remained with her friends till the evening was closing; then,
avoiding the solemnity of a farewell by a half-promise of stopping as
she passed the next day, she sprung into Mrs De Courcy's carriage, and
drove off. Tears rushed to De Courcy's eyes as the carriage was lost to
his sight. 'I am still weak,' thought he as he dashed them away. 'She
will soon return to bring gladness to every heart, and double joy to
mine. To-morrow too I shall see her,' thought he; yet he continued
depressed, and soon retired to his chamber.
Mrs De Courcy and her son met early the next morning, expecting that
Laura would early begin her journey. Montague stationed himself at the
window to watch for her appearance; half fearing that she would not keep
her promise, yet every minute repeating that it was impossible she could
go without bidding farewell. The breakfast hour arrived, and still Laura
came not. De Courcy, impatient, forgot his weakness, and insisted upon
walking to the gate that he might inquire whether a carriage had passed
from Walbourne.
He had scarcely left the house when old John, with a face that boded
evil, hastily came to beg that his Lady would speak with a servant of
Lady Pelham's. Mrs De Courcy, somewhat alarmed, desired that the servant
might come in. 'Please, Madam,' said he, 'let me know where I may find
Miss Montreville. The carriage has waited for her these three hours?'
'Good heavens!' cried Mrs De Courcy, in consternation. 'Is Miss
Montreville not at Walbourne?' 'No, Madam, she has not been there since
yesterday morning.' Mrs De Courcy, now in extreme alarm, summoned her
coachman, and desired to know where he had left Miss Montreville the
evening before. He answered, that, at Laura's desire, he had set her
down at the gate of Walbourne; that he had seen her enter; and
afterwards, in turning the carriage, had observed her walking along the
avenue towards the house. Inexpressibly shocked, Mrs De Courcy had yet
the presence of mind to forbid alarming her son with these fearful
tidings. As soon as she could recollect herself, she dispatched old
Wilson, on whose discretion she thought she might rely, to inform De
Courcy that a message from Walbourne had made her cease to expect
Laura's visit. Montague returned home, sad and disappointed. His
melancholy questions and comments increased the distress of his mother.
'Did she not even write one line?' said he. 'Could you have believed
that she would go without one farewell--that she could have passed our
very gate?' 'She was willing to spare you the pain of a farewell,' said
Mrs De Courcy, checking the anguish of her heart. 'She will write soon,
I hope.'
But day after day passed, and Laura did not write. Mrs De Courcy, still
concealing from her son a misfortune which she thought him yet unequal
to bear, used every possible exertion to trace the fugitive. She offered
high rewards to whoever could afford the smallest clue to discovery. She
advertised in every newspaper except that which De Courcy was accustomed
to read. Her suspicions at first falling upon Hargrave, she caused
particular inquiry to be made whether any of his domestics had been left
in England with orders to follow him; but she found that he with his
whole suite had sailed from Europe more than a fortnight before Laura's
disappearance. She employed emissaries to prosecute the search in almost
every part of the kingdom. Judging the metropolis to be the most likely
place of concealment, she made application to the officers of police for
assistance in her inquiries there. All was in vain. No trace of Laura
was to be found.
For a while De Courcy amused himself from day to day with the hope of
hearing from her; a hope which his mother had not the courage to
destroy. He calculated that she would reach the end of her journey on
the sixth day after that on which she left him. On the seventh she would
certainly write; therefore in four or five more he should undoubtedly
hear from her. The expected day came and passed as others had done,
without bringing news of Laura. Another and another came, and ended only
in disappointment. De Courcy was miserable. He knew not how to account
for a silence so adverse to the considerate kindness of Laura's
character, except by supposing that illness made her unable to write.
This idea gathering strength in his mind, he resolved to follow her
immediately to Scotland, tracing her through the route which he knew she
intended to take. Mrs De Courcy in vain attempted to dissuade him from
the prosecution of his design, and to sooth him with hopes which she
knew too well would prove deceitful. He was resolute, and Mrs De Courcy
was at last obliged to prevent his fruitless journey by unfolding the
truth. The utmost tenderness of caution was insufficient to prevent the
effects of this blow on De Courcy's bodily frame. In a few hours strong
fever seized him; and his wound, which had hitherto worn a favourable
appearance, gave alarming symptoms of inflammation. Three weeks did Mrs
De Courcy watch by his bedside in all the anguish of a mother's fears;
forgetting, in her anxiety for his life, that he must for a time live
only to sorrow. The balance long hung doubtful. At length the strength
of his constitution and his early habits of temperance prevailed. By
slow degrees his health was restored, though his spirits were still
oppressed by a dejection which long withstood every effort of reason and
religion.
To divert his sorrow rather than in the hope of removing its cause, he
left his home and wandered through the most unfrequented parts of
England, making anxious, yet almost hopeless, inquiries for his lost
treasure. Sometimes, misled by false intelligence, he was hurried from
place to place in all the eagerness of expectation, but bitter
disappointment closed the pursuit; and the companion of his relaxation,
his encouragement in study, his pattern in virtue, the friend, the
mistress, almost the wife, was lost beyond recal.
*       *       *       *       *
While De Courcy was thus languishing on a sick-bed or wandering restless
and miserable, Laura too was a wanderer, a prey to care more deep, more
hopeless.
The soft shades of twilight were stealing on as she cast a last look
back towards Norwood; and were deepening fast as with a sigh,
half-pleasing, half-melancholy, she surveyed the sheltering chestnut
tree where she had once parted from De Courcy. As she approached her
home, the stars coming forth poured their silent language into the ear
of piety. Never deaf to this holy call, Laura dismissed her attendants
that she might meditate alone. She proceeded slowly along till she came
to the entrance of a woody lane, which branched off from the avenue. She
stopped, half-inclined to enter; a sensation of fear made her pause. The
next moment the very consciousness of that sensation induced her to
proceed. 'This is mere childish superstition,' said she, and entered the
lane. She had taken only a few steps when she felt herself suddenly
seized from behind; one person forcibly confining her arms while another
prevented her cries. Vainly struggling against masculine strength, she
was hurried rapidly forward, till, her breath failing, she could resist
no farther. Her conductors, soon quitting the beaten path, dragged her
on through a little wood that sheltered the lawn towards the east; till
reaching a gap which appeared to have been purposely made in the park
wall, Laura perceived a carriage in waiting. Again exerting the strength
of desperation, she struggled wildly for freedom; but the unequal
contest soon was closed; she was lifted into the carriage; one of the
men took his place by her side, and they drove off with the speed of
lightning.
From the moment when she recovered recollection, Laura had not a doubt
that she owed this outrage to Hargrave. She was convinced that his
pretence of leaving the kingdom had been merely intended to throw her
off her guard, and that he was now waiting, at no distant place, the
success of his daring villany. At this idea, a horrible dread seized
her, she threw herself back in the carriage, and wept in despair. Her
attendant perceiving that she no longer struggled, with a coarse
expression of pity, released her from his grasp; and taking the
handkerchief from her mouth, told her 'she might cry as long as she
pleased, for he knew it did a woman's heart good to cry.' Laura now
besought him to tell her whither she was going. 'You'll know that by and
by,' said he. 'Let me alone. I am going to sleep; do you the same.'
The bare mention of his purpose revived Laura's hopes. 'Surely,' thought
she, 'while he sleeps, I may escape. In spite of this fearful speed I
may spring out; and if I could but gain a few steps, in this darkness I
should be safe.' Full of this project, she remained still as the dead;
fearing by the slightest sound or motion to retard the sleep of her
guard. At last his breathing announced that he was asleep; and Laura
began, with trembling hands, to attempt her escape. The blinds were
drawn up; and if she could let down that on the side of the carriage
where she sat, she might without difficulty open the door. She tried to
stir the blind. It refused to yield. She used her utmost force, but it
remained firm. She ventured, cautious and trembling, to attempt that on
the other side. It dropt; and Laura thought she was free. It only
remained to open the door of the chaise and leap out. She tried it; but
the door was immoveable, and, in despair, she shrunk back. Again she
started up; for it occurred to her that, though with more danger, she
might escape by the window. Cautiously stepping across her guard, she
leant out and placed her hands on the top of the carriage, that,
trusting to her arms for supporting her weight, she might extricate
herself, and drop from thence into the road. Raising herself upon the
edge of the step, she fixed her hands more firmly. She paused a moment
to listen whether her guard were undisturbed. He still slept soundly;
and resting her limbs upon the window frame, she prepared to complete
her escape.
A moment more and she had been free; when a horseman riding up, pushed
her fiercely back, upbraiding, with tremendous oaths, the carelessness
of his companion. The fellow, rousing himself, retorted upon the
wretched Laura the abuse of his comrade, swearing that 'since he saw she
was so cunning, he would keep better watch on her for the future.'
The desponding Laura endured his reproaches in silence. Finding herself
thus doubly guarded, she resigned all hope of escaping by her own
unaided exertions; and mingling silent prayers with her fearful
anticipations, she strove to reanimate her trust that she should not be
wholly forsaken. Sometimes her habitual confidence prevailed, and she
felt assured, that she should not be left a prey to the wicked. Yet the
dreadful threats, the fiery passions of Hargrave rose to her
recollection, and she again shuddered in despair. She suddenly
remembered Jessy Wilson. Starting, with an exclamation of horror and
affright, she sought some weapon which might dispense to her a death
less terrible; and instinctively grasping her pen-knife hid it in her
bosom. The next moment she shrunk from her purpose, and doubted the
lawfulness of such defence. 'Will he dare his own life, too?' thought
she. 'Oh, Heaven! in mercy spare me the necessity of sending a wretch to
his great account, with all his crimes unrepented on his head--or pardon
him and me?'
She continued to commend herself to Heaven, till her terrors by degrees
subsided. She began again to feel the steady trust which is acquired by
all who are habituated to a grateful consideration of the care which
they experience; a trust that even the most adverse events shall
terminate in their real advantage; that the rugged and slippery ways of
this dark wilderness, shall, at the dawn of everlasting day, be owned as
the fittest to conduct us to the house of our Father. She began, too, to
regain the confidence which strong minds naturally put in their own
exertions. She resolved not to be wanting to herself; nor, by brooding
over her terrors, to disable herself from taking advantage of any
providential circumstance which might favour her escape.
Morning at length began to dawn, but the blinds being closely drawn up,
Laura could make no observations on the country through which she was
passing. She remarked that the furious speed with which she had first
been driven, had slackened to a slow pace; and she judged that the
wearied cattle could not proceed much further. She hoped that it would
soon be necessary to stop; and that during the few minutes in which they
halted to change horses, she might find means of appealing to the
justice of her fellow-creatures. 'Surely,' said she, 'some heart will be
open to me.'
After proceeding slowly for some time the carriage stopped. Laura
listened for the sounds of human voices, but all was silent. She heard
the trampling of horses as if led close by the carriage. Some one was
certainly near who had no interest in this base oppression. 'Help! Oh
help me,' cried Laura. 'I am cruelly and wrongfully detained. I have
friends that will reward you. Heaven will reward you!--Help me! for kind
mercy, help me!' 'Heyday!' cried the fellow in the carriage, with
something between a grin and a stare, 'who is the girl speaking to?
What! did you imagine we should be wise enough to bring you within holla
of a whole yardful of stable boys and piping chambermaids? Reward
indeed! Set your heart at rest, Miss; we shall be rewarded without your
friends or Heaven either.'
The carriage again proceeded with the same speed as at first, and Laura
strove to support with composure this new blow to her hopes. Her
companion, now producing a bottle of wine and some biscuits, advised her
to share with him; and that she might not wilfully lavish her strength
and spirits, she consented. Once more in the course of the day the
travellers stopped to change horses, and Laura once more, though with
feebler hopes, renewed her appeals to justice and mercy. No answer
greeted her. Again she was hurried on her melancholy way.
The day, as it advanced, seemed rough and gloomy. The wind swept in
gusts through the trees, and the rain beat upon the carriage. The
evening was drawing on when Laura remarked that the motion was changed.
The chaise proceeded slowly over soft uneven ground, and she guessed,
with dismay, that it had quitted all frequented paths. In renewed alarm,
she again besought her companion to tell her whither he meant to conduct
her, and for what end she was thus cruelly forced from her home. 'Why,
how should I tell you what I do not know myself?' answered the man. 'I
shan't conduct you much farther--and a good riddance. As for the end
you'll see that when it comes.'
About an hour after quitting the road, the carriage stopped; and the man
letting down the blind, Laura perceived through the dusk, that they were
on a barren moor. Waste and level, it seemed to spread before her; but
the darkness prevented her from distinguishing its features or its
boundaries. Suddenly, as the gust died away, she fancied she heard the
roar of waters. She listened; but the wind swelled again, and she heard
only its howlings over the heath. The horseman, who had rode away when
the carriage stopped, now gallopped back, and directed the postilion to
proceed. They went on for a few hundred yards, and again they stopped.
The roar of waters again burst on Laura's ear, now swelling in thunder,
now sinking in a sullen murmur. She saw a light glimmer at a distance.
It was tossed by the billows of the ocean.
The door of the chaise was opened, and she was lifted from it. Gliding
from the arms of the ruffian who held her, and clasping his knees, 'Oh!
if you have the heart of a man,' she cried, 'let me not be torn from my
native land--let me not be cast on the merciless deep. Think what it is
to be an exile--friendless in a strange land--the sport, the prey of a
pitiless enemy. Oh! if you have need of mercy, have mercy upon
me.'--'Holla! Robert,' shouted the ruffian, 'take away this girl. She's
enough to make a man play the fool and whimper.' The other fellow now
approaching, lifted Laura, more dead than alive, from the ground, and,
wrapping her in a large cloak, bore her towards the beach.
In a creek sheltered by rocks from the breakers, lay a small boat. One
man sat near the bow, roaring a hoarse sea-song. As the party
approached, he rose, and pushing the boat ashore, received the half
lifeless Laura in his brawny arms, cursing her with strange oaths for
having made him wait so long. Then, on his uttering a discordant yell,
two of his companions appeared; and after exchanging with Laura's guards
a murmuring account of the trouble they had undergone, pushed off from
the land. The keel grated along the pebbles; the next moment it floated
on the waves, and Laura starting up, threw back the cloak from her face,
and with strained eyes gazed on her parting native land, till all behind
was darkness.
A pang of anguish striking to her heart, she made once more a desperate
effort to awaken pity. Stretching her clasped hands towards the man who
sat near her, she cried, in the piercing voice of misery, 'Oh take pity
on me! I am an orphan. I have heard that sailors have kindly
hearts--Have pity then--land me on the wildest coast, and I will fall
down and pray for you!' The person to whom she spoke having eyed her a
moment in silence, coolly drew in his oar; and rising, wrapped her close
in the cloak and laid her down in the bottom of the boat, advising her
with an oath to 'keep snug or she would capsize them.' In despair she
renounced all further effort. Silent and motionless she lay, the cold
spray dashing over her unheeded; till wet, chilled, and miserable, she
was lifted on board a small brig which lay about half a mile from the
shore. She was carried down to the cabin, which was more decent than is
usual in vessels of that size. A clean-looking woman attended to
undress her; night-clothes were in readiness for her; and every
accommodation provided which her situation rendered possible. Every
thing served to convince her of the care and precaution with which this
cruel scheme had been concerted, and to shew her the depth of the snare
into which she had fallen.
She was laid in her narrow crib, ere it occurred to her that Hargrave
might be near to watch his prey. Exhausted as she was, sleep fled at the
thought. She listened for his voice, for his footstep, amid the unwonted
discord that disturbed her ear. Daylight returned, and no sound reached
her more terrible than that of the gale rattling in the cordage and
dashing the waves against the vessel's side. Worn out with fatigue and
suffering, she slept at length; and a mid-day sun glanced by fits
through her grated window ere she awoke to a new sense of sorrow. She
rose, and going upon deck, looked sadly back upon the way she had
unconsciously passed. Behind, the blue mountains were sinking in the
distance; on the left lay a coast unknown to her; before her stretched
the boundless deep, unvaried save by the whitening surge.
Laura spent most of her time upon deck, the fresh air reviving her
failing spirits. One male and one female attendant seemed appropriated
to her, and served her with even officious assiduity. Hoping that some
opportunity might occur of transmitting an account of her situation to
England, she begged these obsequious attendants to supply her with
writing materials; but was firmly, though respectfully, refused.
The third morning came, and Laura looked in vain for any object to vary
the immeasurable waste. The sun rose from one unbending line, and sunk
again in naked majesty. She observed that the course of the vessel was
in general directly west; and if she had before doubted, this
circumstance would have convinced her of her destination. She once
ventured to inquire whither the ship was bound, but was answered that
'she should know that when she reached the port.'
It was on the fourth of May that Laura began her ill-omened voyage. On
the twelfth of June, land! All ran to gaze with glad eyes on what seemed
a low cloud, faintly descried on the verge of the horizon--all but
Laura, who looked sadly forward, as to the land of exile, of
degradation,--of death. Day after day that dreaded land approached;
till, by degrees, the boundless ocean was narrowed to a mighty river,
and the unfrequent sail, almost too distant for mortal sight, was
multiplied to a busy fleet, plying in every direction their cheerful
labours. At length a city appeared in view, rising like an amphitheatre,
and flashing bright with a material unknown to European architecture.
Laura inquired what town it was; and, though refused all information,
surmised that Quebec lay before her.
Opposite the town, the ship hove to; a boat was launched, and Laura
expected to be sent on shore. Nor did she unwillingly prepare to go.
'Surely,' thought she, 'in this populous city some one will be found to
listen to my tale, and wrest me from the arm of the oppressor.' The boat
however departed without her, carrying ashore the man who had hitherto
attended her. After remaining on shore for several hours, the man
returned, and the vessel again proceeded in her voyage. Laura now
imagined that Montreal was her destined port; and again she strove to
hope that, among numbers, she should find aid.
A still cloudy evening had succeeded to a sultry day, when Laura
observed an unusual bustle upon deck. It was growing dark, when, as she
leant over the rail, to watch the fire-flies that flashed like stars in
the air, the captain approaching her, told her that she must go ashore,
and immediately lifted her into a boat which lay along-side. Her
attendants and baggage were already there; the sailors had taken their
oars; and, roaring to their companions a rough 'good night,' made
towards the land. Instead, however, of gaining the nearest point, they
rowed into what in the darkness seemed a creek; but Laura soon perceived
that, having left the great river on which they had hitherto sailed,
they were following the course of one of its tributary streams. The
darkness prevented her from distinguishing objects on the banks, though
now and then a light, glimmering from a casement, shewed that the haunts
of man were near. She could not even discern the countenances of the
sailors; but she observed, that he who seemed to direct the others,
spoke in a voice which was new to her ear. All night the rowers toiled
up the stream. The day dawned; and Laura perceived that, passing an open
cultivated plain, she was pursuing her course towards woods impervious
to the light. Dark and tangled they lowered over the stream, till they
closed round, and every cheerful object was blotted from the scene.
CHAPTER XXXIII
The travellers had proceeded for some time shaded by the overhanging
woods, the distance lengthened by the dreary sameness of their way, when
a wild halloo smote Laura's ear; and she perceived that three Indians
stood at the water-edge, making signs for the boat to land. To her
unspeakable surprise, the sailors joyfully obeyed the signal. They ran
their bark into a creek to which the Indians pointed, and cheerfully
busied themselves in discharging their cargo. Placed with her attendants
on a little eminence, which rose above the swampy margin of the river,
Laura took a fearful survey of the scene around her. Save where the
sluggish stream opened to the day, her view was bounded to a few yards
of marshy ground, rank with unwholesome vegetation. No track appeared to
lead from this desolate spot. Between the gigantic pines, brushwood and
coarse grass spread in sad luxuriance. No trace was here of human
footstep. All was dreary and forlorn, as the land which the first
wanderers visited unwilling.
She had not long continued her melancholy survey, when the two stoutest
of the Indians approached; and one of them, after talking apart with her
attendants, lifted her female servant in his arms, and walked on. The
other, making some uncouth gestures, prepared to raise Laura from the
ground. She shrunk back alarmed; but the Indian, in broken French,
assured her that he would not hurt her; and, pointing towards the woods,
reminded her of the difficulty of passing them on foot. Her valet, too,
represented the fatigue she must undergo, if she refused the assistance
of the Indian. But Laura preferring a toilsome march to such a mode of
conveyance, persevered in her refusal; and, bidding them lead the way,
followed into the pathless wild.
They continued their journey for several hours, no object meeting their
sight that might mark the stages of their way. No work of man appeared,
not even the faintest trace that ever man had toiled through this
wilderness; yet Laura perceived that the Indians proceeded without
hesitation. The position of the grass, the appearance of the leaves,
gave indication sufficient to guide them in their route. One of them
carried a bag of provisions; and having reached a spot where the ground
was firm and dry, he invited Laura to sit down and take some
refreshment. Faint with fatigue, Laura thankfully acceded. Scarcely,
however, had she seated herself on the grass, ere her attention was
drawn by a slight though unusual noise; and she was told that it was
caused by a rattlesnake. At this intelligence her maid, screaming,
started up, and was going to dart forward into the wood. The Indians
beheld her terror with silent contempt, while Laura calmly detained her
with gentle force. 'Stay, Mary,' said she. 'If you tread on the animal
you are gone! If we are quiet, we may probably see and avoid it.' The
influence which Laura always acquired over those with whom she lived,
prevailed over Mary's dread; and in a few moments the serpent was seen
by one of the Indians, who killed it with a single blow.
Their hasty meal ended, the party proceeded on their way; but they had
not gone far ere Laura, worn out with toil and sorrow, sunk upon the
ground. She had now no choice; and the Indian, lifting her with the same
ease as she would have done an infant, went on with more speed than
before.
Towards the close of the day, the woods suddenly opened into a small
field, surrounded by them on every side, which appeared to have been
itself imperfectly redeemed from the same state of waste luxuriance. In
the centre stood a house, or rather cabin, rudely constructed of the
material which nature so lavishly supplied. Around it a small patch,
inclosed by a palisade, bore marks of forsaken cultivation. Beyond this
inclosure, logs of prodigious size lay scattered through the field, and
the roots, which had not been cleared from the ground, were again
shooting luxuriantly. With a faint sensation of gladness, Laura beheld
traces of humankind. Yet no living creature appeared. Here reigned
primeval stillness. The winds had died away. A sultry calm filled the
air. The woods were motionless. The birds were silent. All was fixed as
in death, save where a dull stream stole under the tall canes that
deformed its margin.
Mary's exclamations of grief and surprise first informed Laura that she
had reached her home. To Laura the dreariness of the scene was of small
concern. No outward circumstances could add to the horrors with which
her fears were familiar. While her attendant bewailed aloud that ever
thirst of gain had lured her from happy England, Laura was inwardly
striving to revive the hope that sudden death might snatch her from the
grasp of the oppressor; and renewing her oft repeated prayer,--'Oh that
Thou wouldst hide me in the grave.' But no selfish sorrow could make her
regardless of the woes of others. 'Courage, Mary,' said she, with a
foreboding smile, 'we shall soon be released; and both, I hope, find
shelter in our Father's house.'
The cabin was divided into three apartments, each entering from the
other. To the innermost Laura was conducted; and she saw that it had
been arranged for her. The window was secured with iron. The furniture,
unlike that of the other rooms, was new and not inelegant. Laura looked
round to observe whether any trace of Hargrave's presence was visible.
None appeared. She examined every recess and corner of her new abode, as
one who fears the lurking assassin. She ascertained that Hargrave was
not its inmate; and thanked Heaven for the prospect of one night of
peace. It was in vain, however, that she tried to discover how long this
reprieve might last. The servants either could not or would not give her
any information. She was too well acquainted with the character of her
oppressor to hope that he would long delay his coming. 'To-morrow,
perhaps'--thought she; and the cold shivering came over her, which now
ever followed her anticipation of the future. 'Yet why do I despair?'
said she. 'Is any time too short, are any means too feeble for the
Power--for the wisdom in which I trust? But since the hour of trial may
be so near, let me not waste the time which should prepare for
it,--prepare to cast off this poor clog of earth, and rise beyond its
sorrows and its stains.'
Laura's bodily frame, however, could not long keep pace with the efforts
of her mind, for her health and strength were failing under the
continued influence of grief and fear. The form, once rounded in fair
proportion, was wasted to a shadow. The once graceful neck bent
mournfully forward. The lily arms hung down in listless melancholy. The
cheek, once of form inimitable, was sunk and hollow now. The colour,
once quick to tell the modest thought, was fixed in the paleness of the
dead. And death was ever present to her thoughts,--sole point to which
her hope turned steadily!
One only desire lingered on earth. She wished that some friend should
pity her hard fate, and know that the victim had shrunk from it, though
in vain. Intending to leave behind her some attestation of her
innocence, she besought Mary to procure for her the means of writing.
'Why should you fear to trust me?' said she. 'To whom upon earth can my
complaint reach now? You may see all I write, Mary; and perhaps when I
am gone you will yourself convey it to my friend. Your master will not
prevent you then; for then he will have pity on me, and wish that he had
not dealt with me so hardly.' The irresistible sweetness of Laura had
won the heart of her attendant, and Mary promised that she would
endeavour to gratify her. She said that the writing materials were kept
carefully locked up by Robert, the man-servant; that his master's orders
on that subject had been peremptory; that she was sure he would not
venture to disobey while there remained a possibility of conveying
intelligence from the place of their confinement; that two of the
Indians were to depart on the following day; that after they were gone,
no means of access to the habitable world remaining, Robert might
possibly relax his strictness, and permit Laura to amuse herself with
writing. Mary's words awakened in Laura's mind an idea that all was not
yet lost. The Indians were suspected of favouring her. They might then
bear her appeal to human pity, to human justice. If she could find means
to speak with them apart, she would plead so earnestly that even savages
would be moved to mercy! At these thoughts a ray of hope once more
kindled in her breast. It was the last. All day she watched for an
opportunity to address one of the Indians. In vain! Robert guarded her
with such relentless fidelity, that she found it impossible to effect
her purpose. The Indians departed. Mary performed her promise, and the
unfortunate Laura wrote the following letter, which was afterwards, with
Hargrave's permission, conveyed to Mrs Douglas.
'From this dreary land of exile, to whom shall I address myself
save to you, mine own friend, and my father's friend? Where
tell my sad fate save to you, who first taught me the hope that
lives beyond it? And let it comfort your kind heart to know,
that while you are shedding tears over this last memorial of
your Laura, I shall be rejoicing in the full consummation of
that hope.
'There is indeed another friend! One to whom my last earthly
thoughts are due! But I cannot tell him, that she who was
almost the wife of his bosom is gone down to a dishonoured
grave. I have not time to soften my sad tale to him, nor to
study words of comfort; for the moments are precious with me
now. A few, a very few, are all that remain for preparation. I
must not rob them of their awful right. Tell him my story as he
is able to bear it. Tell him my innocence, and he will believe
it, for he knew my very soul. But I must hasten, lest the
destroyer come, ere, in these lines, I close my connection with
this world of trial.'
[She then proceeded to give a simple narrative of her wrongs.
She expressed no bitterness against the author of them. She
spoke of him as a misguided being, and pitied the anguish which
he was preparing for himself.] 'Tell Mr De Courcy,' she
proceeded, 'that I charge him, by all the love he bears me, to
forgive my enemy, even from the heart forgive him. Let him do
more. Let him pray for him; and if they meet, admonish him. It
may be that his heart will soften when he remembers me.'
[The remainder of the letter was written at intervals. Laura
spent her time chiefly in acts of devotion, of
self-examination, and repentance. It was only when exhausted
nature could no longer follow these exercises of the soul, that
she returned to add another line to her picture of
wretchedness.]
'The saints who resisted unto blood striving against sin, who
gave up their lives in defence of the truth, looked forward to
the hour of their departure rejoicing. But I must go to the
grave laden with shame and sorrow. My soul is weary of my life,
and yet I must fear to die. Yet let my enemy a little while
delay his coming and my death also will be joyful. Let him stay
only a few days, and I shall be deaf to the voice of the
oppressor. I am wasting fast away. If he haste not to catch the
shadow, it will be gone.--
'The people whom he has appointed to guard his poor prisoner,
no longer watch me as they once did. It is useless now. A few
short steps and my feeble limbs bend to the earth, reminding me
whither I am hastening.--
'When I am gone, Mary will carry you the ringlets which you
were wont to twine round your finger. Send one of them to her
who should have been my sister; but give not any to my own
Montague, for he will pine over them when he might be happy in
some new connection. Yet tell him that I loved him to the end.
I believe he sometimes doubted of my love; but tell him that I
bore him a firm affection. Passion is unfit for the things of
this world.--
'I have a letter from my enemy. In two days more.--
'I have a knife concealed in my bosom. All night it is hidden
beneath my pillow; and when my weary eyes close for a moment, I
grasp it, and the chill touch rouses me again. Mine own dear
friend, did you think when first you taught me to join my
little hands in prayer, that these hands should be stained with
murder?--
'Is it a crime to die when I can no longer live with innocence?
When there is no escape but in the grave, is it forbidden to
hide me there? My mind grows feeble now. I cannot discern
between good and evil.--
'Why is my soul bowed down to the dust, as if the fountain of
compassion were sealed? I will yet trust Him who is the helper
of those who have no help in man. It may be that he will melt
the heart of my enemy, and move him to let me die in peace. Or
perhaps even the sight of my persecutor may be permitted to
burst the rending heart--to scare the trembling spirit from its
prison.--
'This day is my last, and it is closing now! The silence of
midnight is around me. Ere it again return a deeper night shall
close for me, and the weary pilgrim shall sink to rest. It is
time that I loosen me from the earth; I will not give my last
hours to this land of shadows. Then fare you well, mine own
dear friend! You first pointed my wishes to that better world
where I shall not long wait your coming. And far thee well,
mine own Montague! Take comfort. I was not fit to linger here;
for I had desires that earth could not satisfy; and thirstings
after a perfection which this weak heart could not attain.
Farewell--I will look back no more.'
HARGRAVE'S LETTER TO LAURA.
'My dearest Laura--The tantalizing business which has so long
thwarted my wishes will still detain me for two days. Your
gentle mind cannot imagine what this delay costs me. My only
recompense is, that it affords me an opportunity of shewing you
somewhat of that consideration with which I could always wish
to treat you. I willingly forego the advantage of surprise for
the sake of allowing you to exercise that decision which you
are so well qualified to use discreetly. You know Laura how I
have doated on you. For near four long years you have been the
desire of my soul; and now that my happy daring has placed me
within reach of my utmost wishes, I would fain attain them
without distress to you. This is no time for concealment; and
you must pardon me if I am explicit with you. I have known the
disposition of Lady Pelham's fortune from the hour when it was
made. You know that with all my faults I am not sordid; but
circumstances have rendered money necessary to me. Except in
the event of Lord Lincourt's death, I cannot return to England
otherwise than as your husband. I will own, too, dearest Laura,
that after all I have done, and all that I may be compelled to
do, I dare not trust for pardon to your pity alone. I must
interest your duty in my cause. Consider your situation, then,
my beloved, and spare me the pain of distressing you. I have
watched you, implored you, pined for you--I have borne your
coldness, your scorn. I have ventured my life to obtain you.
Judge whether I be of a temper to be baulked of my reward. You
must be mine, bewitching Laura. No cool, insulting, plausible
pretender can cheat me of you now. Trackless woods divide you
from all human kind. I have provided against the possibility of
tracing your retreat. It rests with you then to choose whether
you will bless my love with a willing and honourable reward, or
force me to extort the power of bestowing obligation. My
charming Laura, for now indeed I may call you mine, pardon, in
consideration of its sincerity, the abrupt language I am
compelled to hold.--One thing more. In three weeks I must
return hither. The engagement of your British attendants
expires before that time. I cannot for a moment allow myself to
suppose that you will prefer a hopeless solitary exile to the
reparation which I shall even then be so anxious to make; to
the endearments of a fond husband, of an impassioned lover; to
the envy and the homage of an admiring world. Suffer me rather,
dear lovely girl, to exult in the hope that you will receive,
without reluctance, the man to whom fate assigns you, and that
you will recal somewhat of the tenderness you once confessed
for your own ever-devoted,
'VILLIERS HARGRAVE.'
LAURA'S ANSWER
(sent with the foregoing to Mrs Douglas:)
'I thought my spirit had been broken, crushed never more to
rise. Must the glow of indignation mingle with the damps of
death? But I will not upbraid you. The language of forgiveness
best befits me now. The measure of your injuries to me is
almost full; while those which you have heaped upon yourself
are yet more deep and irreparable. My blasted fame, my life
cut off in its prime, even the horrible dread that has
overwhelmed me, are nothing to the pangs of hopeless remorse,
the unaccepted struggle for repentance.--Yet a little while,
and this darkness shall burst into light ineffable. Yet a
little while, and this sorrow shall be as the remembrance of a
troubled dream. But you--Oh Hargrave, have pity on yourself!
'It was not to warn, it was to plead with you, that I won on my
knees the consent of your messenger to bear my reply. I will
strive to hope; for you were not always pitiless. I have seen
you feel for the sufferings of a stranger, and have you no
mercy for me? Alas! in those pitying tears I saw you shed,
began this long train of evil; for then began my base idolatry,
and justly have you been made the instrument of my punishment.
'My mind wanders. I am weaker than a child. Oh Hargrave, if you
have human pity let the feeble spark expire in peace. Here,
where no Christian footstep shall hallow the turf that covers
me, nor song of Christian praise rise near my grave, here let
me lay me down and die--and I will bless you that I die in
peace. I dare not spend my parting breath in uttering unholy
vows, nor die a voluntary partner in your crimes. Nor would I,
had my life been prolonged, have joined to pollution this dust,
which, perishable as it is, must rise to immortality--which,
vile as it is, more vile as it soon may be, shall yet "put on
incorruption." Why then should you come hither? Will it please
you to see this poor piece of clay, for which you have ventured
your soul, faded to an object of horror?--cast uncoffined into
the earth, robbed of the decencies which Christians pay even to
the worst of sinners? When you look upon my stiffened corpse
will you then triumph in the security of your possession? Will
you again exult in hope when you turn from my grave and say,
"here lies the wretch whom I have undone!"
'Come not I charge you, if you would escape the anguish of the
murderer. When did the evil of your deeds stop within your
first intention? Do not amuse your conscience with the dream of
reparation. I am fallen indeed, ere you dare insult me with the
thought! Will you wed the dead? Or could I outlive your
injuries, think you that I would sink so low as to repay them
with myself?--reward with vows of love a crime more black than
murder! Though my name, already degraded through you, must no
more claim alliance with the good and worthy, think you that I
would bind myself before heaven to a wretch who owed his very
life to my undeserved mercy? Inhuman! Your insults have roused
the failing spirit. Yet I must quell these last stirrings of
nature. Instant, full, and free must be my forgiveness; for
such is the forgiveness which I shall soon require.
'Perhaps, as now you seem to think me fit for any baseness, you
will suppose my forebodings a poor deceit to win you from your
purpose. See then if you can trace in these unsteady lines the
vigour of health. Ask him who bears them to you, how looks now
the face which you call lovely? Ask him if the hand which gave
this letter looks soft and graceful now? I love to gaze upon
it. It bids me hope, for it is like no living thing. Inquire
minutely. Ask if there remains one charm to lure you on to
farther guilt. And if death has already seized on all, if he
has spared nothing to desire, will you yet hurry him on his
prey? You have made life a burden too heavy for the weary
frame. Will you make death too dreadful to be endured? Will you
add to its horrors till nature and religion shrink from it in
agony.
'I cannot plead with you as I would. My strength fails. My eyes
are dim with weeping. Oh grant that this farewell may be the
last--that we may meet no more till I welcome you with the joy
which angels feel over the sinner that repenteth.'
The whole of the night preceding Hargrave's arrival, was passed by Laura
in acts of devotion. In her life, blameless as it had appeared to
others, she saw so much ground for condemnation, that, had her hopes
rested upon her own merit, they would have vanished like the sunshine of
a winter storm. Their support was more mighty; and they remained
unshaken. The raptures of faith beamed on her soul. By degrees they
triumphed over every fear; and the first sound that awoke the morning,
was her voice raised in a trembling hymn of praise.
Her countenance elevated as in hope; her eyes cast upwards; her hands
clasped; her lips half open in the unfinished adoration; her face
brightened with a smile, the dawn of eternal day--she was found by her
attendant. Awe-struck, the woman paused, and at a reverend distance
gazed upon the seraph; but her entrance had called back the unwilling
spirit from its flight; and Laura, once more a feeble child of earth,
faintly inquired whether her enemy were at hand. Mary answered that her
master was not expected to arrive before the evening; and entreated that
Laura would try to recruit her spirits, and accept of some refreshment.
Laura made no opposition. She unconsciously swallowed what was placed
before her; unwittingly suffered her attendant to lead her abroad; nor
once heeded ought that was done to her, nor ought that passed before her
eyes, till her exhausted limbs found rest upon the trunk of a tree,
which lay mouldering near the spot where its root was sending forth a
luxuriant thicket.
The breath of morning blew chill on the wasted form of Laura, while it
somewhat revived her to strength and recollection. Her attendant seeing
her shiver in the breeze, compassionately wrapped her more closely in
her cloak, and ran to seek a warmer covering. 'She feels for my bodily
wants,' said Laura. 'Will she have no pity for the sufferings of the
soul? Yet what relief can she afford: What help is there for me in man?
Oh be Thou my help who art the guard of the defenceless! Thou who canst
shield in every danger--Thou who canst guide in every difficulty!'
Her eye rested as it fell, upon a track as of recent footsteps. They had
brushed away the dew, and the rank grass had not yet risen from their
pressure. The unwonted trace of man's presence arrested her attention;
and her mind, exhausted by suffering, and sharing the weakness of its
frail abode, admitted the superstitious thought that these marks
afforded a providential indication for her guidance. Transient animation
kindling in her frame, she followed the track as it wound round a
thicket of poplar; then, suddenly recollecting herself, she became
conscious of the delusion, and shed a tear over her mental decay.
She was about to return, when she perceived that she was near the bank
of the river. Its dark flood was stealing noiseless by, and Laura,
looking on it, breathed the oft repeated wish that she could seek rest
beneath its waves. Again she moved feebly forward. She reached the brink
of the stream, and stood unconsciously following its course with her
eye; when a light wind stirring the canes that grew down to the water
edge, she beheld close by her an Indian canoe. With suddenness that
mocks the speed of light, hope flashed on the darkened soul; and,
stretching her arms in wild ecstasy, 'Help, help,' cried Laura, and
sprung towards the boat. A feeble echo from the further shore alone
returned the cry. Again she called. No human voice replied. But
delirious transport lent vigour to her frame. She sprung into the bark;
she pressed the slender oar against the bank. The light vessel yielded
to her touch. It floated. The stream bore it along. The woods closed
around her prison. 'Thou hast delivered me!' she cried; and sunk
senseless.
A meridian sun beat on her uncovered head ere Laura began to revive.
Recollection stole upon her like the remembrance of a feverish dream. As
one who, waking from a fearful vision, still trembles in his joy, she
scarcely dared to hope that the dread hour was past, till raising her
eyes she saw the dark woods bend over her, and steal slowly away as the
canoe glided on with the tide. The raptures of fallen man own their
alliance with pain, by seeking the same expression. Joy and gratitude
too big for utterance long poured themselves forth in tears. At length
returning composure permitting the language of extasy, it was breathed
in the accents of devotion; and the lone wild echoed to a song of
deliverance.
The saintly strain rose unmixed with other sound. No breeze moaned
through the impervious woods. No ripple broke the stream. The dark
shadows trembled for a moment in its bosom as the little bark stole by,
and then reposed again. No trace appeared of human presence. The fox
peeping from the brushwood, the wild duck sailing stately in the stream,
saw the unwonted stranger without alarm, untaught as yet to flee from
the destroyer.
The day declined; and Laura, with the joy of her escape, began to mingle
a wish, that, ere the darkness closed around her, she might find shelter
near her fellow beings. She was not ignorant of the dangers of her
voyage. She knew that the navigation of the river was interrupted by
rapids. A cataract which broke its course had been purposely described
in her hearing. She examined her frail vessel and trembled; for life was
again become precious, and feeble seemed her defence against the
torrent. The canoe, which could not have contained more than two
persons, was constructed of a slender frame of wood, covered with the
bark of the birch. It yielded to the slightest motion, and caution was
necessary to poise in it even the light form of Laura.
Slowly it floated down the lingering tide; and, when a pine of larger
size or form more fantastic than his fellows enabled her to measure her
progress, she thought that through wilds less impassible her own limbs
would have borne her more swiftly. In vain behind each tangled point did
her fancy picture the haunt of man. Vainly amid the mists of eve did she
trace the smoke of sheltered cottages. In vain at every winding of the
stream she sent forward a longing eye in search of human dwelling. The
narrow view was bounded by the dark wilderness, repeating ever the same
picture of dreary repose.
The sun went down. The shadows of evening fell; not such as in her
happy native land blend softly with the last radiance of day; but black
and heavy, harshly contrasting with the light of a naked sky reflected
from the waters, where they spread beyond the gloom of impending woods.
Dark, and more dark the night came on. Solemn even amid the peopled
land, in this vast solitude it became more awful. Ignorant how near the
place of danger might be, fearing to pursue darkling her perilous way,
Laura tried to steer her light bark to the shore, intending to moor it,
to find in it a rude resting place, and in the morning to pursue her
way. Laboriously she toiled, and at length reached the bank in safety;
but in vain she tried to draw her little vessel to land. Its weight
resisted her strength. Dreading that it should slip from her grasp and
leave her without means of escape, she re-entered it, and again glided
on in her dismal voyage. She had found in the canoe a little coarse
bread made of Indian corn; and this, with the water of the river, formed
her whole sustenance. Her frame worn out with previous suffering, awe
and fear at last yielded to fatigue; and the weary wanderer sunk to
sleep.
It was late on the morning of a cloudy day, when a low murmuring sound
stealing on the silence awoke Laura from the rest of innocence. She
listened. The murmur seemed to swell on her ear. She looked up. The dark
woods still bent over her. But they no longer touched the margin of the
stream. They stretched their giant arms from the summit of a precipice.
Their image was no more reflected unbroken. The gray rocks which
supported them but half lent their colours to the rippling water. The
wild duck, no longer tempting the stream, flew screaming over its bed.
Each object hastened on with fearful rapidity, and the murmuring sound
was now a deafening roar.
Fear supplying super-human strength, Laura strove to turn the course of
her vessel. She strained every nerve; she used the force of desperation.
Half-hoping that the struggle might save her, half-fearing to note her
dreadful progress, she toiled on till the oar was torn from her
powerless grasp, and hurried along with the tide.
The fear of death alone had not the power to overwhelm the soul of
Laura. Somewhat might yet be done perhaps to avert her fate, at least to
prepare for it. Feeble as was the chance of life, it was not to be
rejected. Fixing her cloak more firmly about her, Laura bound it to the
slender frame of the canoe. Then commending herself to heaven with the
fervour of a last prayer, she, in dread stillness, awaited her doom.
With terrible speed the vessel hurried on. It was whirled round by the
torrent--tossed fearfully--and hurried on again. It shot over a
smoothness more dreadful than the eddying whirl. It rose upon its prow.
Laura clung to it in the convulsion of terror. A moment she trembled on
the giddy verge. The next, all was darkness!
CHAPTER XXXIV
When Laura was restored to recollection, she found herself in a plain
decent apartment. Several persons of her own sex were humanely busied in
attending her. Her mind retaining a confused remembrance of the past,
she inquired where she was, and how she had been brought thither. An
elderly woman, of a prepossessing appearance, answered with almost
maternal kindness, 'that she was among friends all anxious for her
safety; begged that she would try to sleep; and promised to satisfy her
curiosity when she should be more able to converse.' This benevolent
person, whose name was Falkland, then administered a restorative to her
patient; and Laura, uttering almost incoherent expressions of gratitude,
composed herself to rest.
Awakening refreshed and collected, she found Mrs Falkland and one of her
daughters still watching by her bed-side. Laura again repeated her
questions, and Mrs Falkland fulfilled her promise, by relating that her
husband, who was a farmer, having been employed with his two sons in a
field which overlooked the river, had observed the canoe approach the
fall; that seeing it too late to prevent the accident, they had hurried
down to the bed of the stream below the cataract, in hopes of
intercepting the boat at its reappearance: That being accustomed to
float wood down the torrent, they knew precisely the spot where their
assistance was most likely to prove effectual: That the canoe, though
covered with foam for a moment, had instantly risen again, and that Mr
Falkland and his sons had, not without danger, succeeded in drawing it
to land. She then, in her turn, inquired by what accident Laura had been
exposed to such a perilous adventure; expressing her wonder at the
direction of her voyage, since Falkland farm was the last inhabited spot
in that district. Laura, mingling her natural reserve with a desire to
satisfy her kind hostess, answered, that she had been torn from her
friends by an inhuman enemy, and that her perilous voyage was the least
effect of his barbarity. 'Do you know,' said Mrs Falkland, somewhat
mistaking her meaning, 'that to his cruelty you partly owe your life;
for had he not bound you to the canoe, you must have sunk while the boat
floated on.' Laura heard with a faint smile the effect of her
self-possession; but considering it as a call to pious gratitude rather
than a theme of self-applause, she forbore to offer any claim to praise;
and suffered the subject to drop without further explanation.
Having remained for two days with this hospitable family, Laura
expressed a wish to depart. She communicated to Mr Falkland her desire
of returning immediately to Europe; and begged that he would introduce
her to some asylum where she might wait the departure of a vessel for
Britain. She expressed her willingness to content herself with the
poorest accommodation, confessing that she had not the means of
purchasing any of a higher class. All the wealth, indeed, which she
could command, consisted in a few guineas which she had accidentally had
about her when she was taken from her home; and a ring which Mrs De
Courcy had given her at parting. Her hosts kindly urged her to remain
with them till they should ascertain that a vessel was immediately to
sail, in which she might secure her passage; assuring her that a week
scarcely ever elapsed without some departure for her native country.
Finding, however, that she was anxious to be gone, Mr Falkland himself
accompanied her to Quebec. They travelled by land. The country at first
bore the characters of a half redeemed wilderness. The road wound at
times through dreary woods, at others through fields where noxious
variety of hue bespoke imperfect cultivation. At last it approached the
great river; and Laura gazed with delight on the ever-changing, rich and
beautiful scenes which were presented to her view; scenes which she had
passed unheeded when grief and fear veiled every prospect in gloom. One
of the nuns in the Hotel Dieu was the sister of Mrs Falkland; and to her
care Mr Falkland intended to commit his charge. But before he had been
an hour in the town, he received information that a ship was weighing
anchor for the Clyde, and Laura eagerly embraced the opportunity. The
captain being informed by Mr Falkland, that she could not advance the
price of her passage, at first hesitated to receive her; but when, with
the irresistible candour and majesty that shone in all her looks and
words, she assured him of his reward, when she spoke to him in the
accents of his native land, the Scotsman's heart melted; and having
satisfied himself that she was a Highlander, he closed the bargain, by
swearing that he was sure he might trust her. With tears in her eyes,
Laura took leave of her benevolent host; yet her heart bounded with joy
as she saw the vessel cleaving the tide, and each object in the dreaded
land of exile swiftly retiring from her view. In a few days that dreaded
land disappeared. In a few more the mountains of Cape Breton sunk behind
the wave. The brisk gales of autumn wafted the vessel cheerfully on her
way; and often did Laura compute her progress.
In a clear frosty morning towards the end of September, she heard once
more the cry of land!--now music to her ear. Now with a beating breast
she ran to gaze upon a ridge of mountains indenting the disk of the
rising sun; but the tears of rapture dimmed her eyes, when every voice
at once shouted, 'Scotland!'
All day Laura remained on deck, oft measuring, with the light splinter,
the vessel's course through the deep. The winds favoured not her
impatience. Towards evening they died away, and scarcely did the vessel
steal along the liquid mirror. Another and another morning came, and
Laura's ear was blessed with the first sounds of her native land. The
tolling of a bell was borne along the water; now swelling loud, and now
falling softly away. The humble village church was seen on the shore;
and Laura could distinguish the gay colouring of her country-women's
Sunday attire,--the scarlet plaid, transmitted from generation to
generation, pinned decently over the plain clean coif,--the bright blue
gown, the trophy of more recent housewifery. To her every form in the
well-known garb seemed the form of a friend. The blue mountains in the
distance,--the scattered woods,--the fields yellow with the
harvest,--the river sparkling in the sun, seemed, to the wanderer
returning from the land of strangers, fairer than the gardens of
Paradise.
Land of my affections!--when 'I forget thee, may my right hand forget
her cunning!' Blessed be thou among nations! Long may thy wanderers
return to thee rejoicing, and their hearts throb with honest pride when
they own themselves thy children!
The vessel at last cast anchor, and all was cheerful bustle; every one
eager to hurry ashore. Some hastened to launch the boat; some ran below
to seek out the little offerings of love which they had brought for
their friends. Never had Laura heard sound so animating as the cry of
'all ready!' followed by the light short stroke of the oar that sent
her swiftly forward. Many a wistful glance did the rowers turn. 'There's
mother on the pier-head!' cried one. 'I see Annie and the bairns!' cried
another; and the oar was plied more swiftly. They landed. The shout of
joy, and the whisper of affection were exchanged on every side. Laura
stood back from the tumult, breathing a silent thanksgiving on behalf of
herself and her companions. 'Poor lassie!' said the captain, approaching
her, 'is there naebody to welcome thee? Come! I'm going up to Glasgow
the night to see my wife and the owners; and if ye like to gang wi' me,
ye'll be sae far on your way to your friends.' Laura thankfully accepted
the proposal; and the fly-boat being just about to sail up the river,
she placed in it the little packet of necessaries which she had
collected at Quebec; and accompanied the good-natured sailor to his
home.
She was kindly received by his wife and daughter, and furnished with the
best accommodations they could command. The next morning she gave the
captain a draft for the price of her passage; and producing her purse
and Mrs De Courcy's ring, offered them as further security; saying, that
as she was now in her own country, a few shillings would support her
till she reached her friends, since she might travel to Perthshire on
foot. The sailor, however, positively refused to accept of any thing
more than the draft, swearing that if he were deceived in Laura, he
would never trust woman again. He then, at her desire, procured her a
seat in the stage-coach, and once more she proceeded on her journey.
At a small village, a few miles from Perth, she desired to be set down.
A by-road led from the village to Mr Douglas's parish. The distance was
said to be only seven miles; and Laura, forgetting the latitude allowed
to Scotish measurement, thought she might easily reach the parsonage
before night-fall. Leaving her little parcel at the village, she
hastened forward;--now pausing a moment as some well-known peak or cliff
met her eye, now bounding on with the light step of joy. She pictured
the welcome of affection; already she saw the mild countenance of her
early friend; already she felt the embrace of love.
Darkness surprised her when she had yet much of her journey to perform,
and had shrouded every object ere she reached the well-known gate, and
saw across the narrow lawn the lights streaming from the window. She
stopped--fear stealing on her joy. In five months what changes might not
have happened! Her friend, her mother, might be ill, might be dead! So
must weak men mitigate with the prospect of evil the transports which
belong not to his inheritance! She again proceeded. She entered the
hall. The parlour door was open. A group of cheerful faces appeared,
ruddy with youth and health; but Laura's eye rested on one of more
mature, more interesting grace,--one shaded with untimely silver, and
lighted up with milder fires. She remained motionless, fearing to
surprise her friend by too suddenly appearing, till one of the girls,
observing her, exclaimed, in a transport of joy, 'Laura! Mamma! Laura!'
Mrs Douglas sprung from her seat; and the welcome of affection, the
embrace of love were reality!
The first burst of gladness was succeeded by the solicitous inquiry, by
the interesting narrative; and Laura beguiled her friend of many tears
by the story of her sad voyage, her hopeless captivity, her perilous
escape. Tears, too, of real bitterness rose to her eyes, at the thought
that, although she had escaped from the cruelty of her oppressor, yet
its consequences must be lasting as her life; and that she was now
pouring her story perhaps into the only ear that would be open to her
protestations of innocence. But she would not cloud the hour of joy by
calling the attention of her friend to the shade that rested on her
prospects; nor diminish her own gratitude for deliverance from more real
misfortune, by anticipating the scorns of the world. She uttered not the
faintest foreboding of evil, but continued with serene cheerfulness to
'charm as she was wont to do,' till at a late hour the friendly party
separated for the night.
Weary as she was, Laura could not rest. She had a task to perform too
painful to be thought of with indifference. It was necessary to write to
De Courcy; and to damp all the pleasure which a knowledge of her safety
would convey, by retracting engagements which had been made when her
alliance inferred no dishonour. She well knew that De Courcy himself,
convinced of her innocence, would spurn the idea of forsaking her in
misfortune,--of giving, by his desertion, a sanction to calumny. And
should she take advantage of his honour and his love to fix in his heart
the incurable anguish of following to the wife of his bosom the glance
of suspicion or of scorn! The world's neglect was trivial in her
estimation. Even its reproach might be endured by one who could appeal
from its sentence to a higher tribunal. But what should ease the heart
whose best affections were turned to poison by domestic shame; the heart
jealous of the honour which it could not defend, bleeding at the stab
from which it dared not recoil?
Laura had already taken her resolution, and the next day saw it
effected. She wrote to De Courcy, detailing minutely every event that
had befallen her from the hour of their separation till her landing in
Britain. There her narrative closed. She told not in what spot the
wanderer had found rest. She did not even intimate in what part of the
island she had disembarked, lest it should furnish a clue to her present
retreat. Nor did she, by expressions of tenderness and regret, aggravate
the pang which she was compelled to inflict. In words like these she
proceeded. 'And now, my respected friend, I imagine you are pausing to
offer a thanksgiving for yourself and for me. Let it not damp your just
gratitude that somewhat of evil is permitted to mingle with this signal
deliverance. Let not my escape from misfortune the most dreadful be
forgotten, even though the world should refuse to believe in that
escape. For thus it must be. Known to have been in the power of that bad
man, will the harsh-judging world believe me innocent? Will it be
believed that he ventured to cast his very life upon my mercy, by
dragging me unwilling from my home? So long the sport of his ungoverned
passions, will it be believed that I have not even seen him?
'I know it will be difficult to convince you that an unjust sentence can
be pronounced against me. Certain yourself of the truth of my story, you
imagine that it will find easy credence with others. But even if we
could change the nature of man, and teach strangers to judge with the
candour of friendship, who shall furnish them with the materials for
judging? Not he, who, in corroborating my tale, must publish his own
disgrace! Not the weak Laura, who, by a constitutional defect, shrinks
even from the eye where she cannot read distrust!
'Consider all this, and you will at once perceive the reasons which
induce me to conceal myself from you for a time. Engagements formed
under circumstances now so materially changed I cannot consider as
binding. You, I fear, may think otherwise, and be hurried on by your
generous nature to tempt a fate which that very turn of mind would
render insupportable. My own part in this fate I think I can bear. The
share which would fall upon you, I own would crush me to the dust. My
spirits are not yet what they have been. I am weary of struggling with a
perverse heart, ever leading me aside from duty. I will not lend it arms
by exposing myself to entreaties and arguments to which I cannot yield
without betraying my best friend to anguish unpitied and hopeless;
anguish which would bear with double pressure on myself.
'A stain is fallen on my good name, and "the glory has departed from
me." Be it so! He who doth all things well hath chosen my lot, and his
choice shall be mine. I trust I shall be enabled to act as becomes one
who is degraded in the public eye. I have sometimes shrunk from the
approbation of the world--that little circle I mean which we are apt to
call the world. Now I will hide me from its censure; and shall find in
the duties which peculiarly belong to the fallen--the duties of
humility, of charity and of devotion--enough to make life still no
unpleasing pilgrimage. A good name has been justly likened to a
jewel--precious, not necessary. But if you, my dear friend, covet fame
for me, look forward to the time when an assembled universe shall behold
my acquittal, when a Judge, before whom the assembled universe is as
nothing, shall proclaim me for his own.'
This letter Laura accompanied with another, in which she begged Mrs De
Courcy's assistance in reconciling her son to the change in his
prospects. Both were inclosed by Mr Douglas to a friend in London, who
was directed to forward them by post; thus avoiding any trace of the
quarter from whence they came.
Her lot thus chosen, Laura began to make arrangements for entering on a
mode of life befitting her situation. Fearing that the shaft of slander
should glance aside from herself to the friends who still clung to her,
she steadily resisted Mrs Douglas's warm invitations to make the
parsonage her home. Her father's little farm at Glenalbert had been
annexed to one of larger size. The cottage remained untenanted, and
thither Laura determined to retire. Her fortune, however far from
affluent, she thought would suffice to support the humble establishment
which she meant to retain. One servant was sufficient for her who had
been accustomed to make few claims on the assistance of others. To
obviate the impropriety of living alone while yet extreme youth made
even nominal protection valuable, she invited an elderly widow lady,
poor, but respectable, to preside in her household. In necessary
preparations for her removal to Glenalbert, in affectionate assiduities
to the friends with whom she resided, in compensating to her own poor
for her long, though involuntary neglect of their claims, Laura sought a
refuge from painful reflection; and, if a sigh arose at the review of
her altered prospects, she called to mind her deliverance, and regret
was exchanged for thankfulness. The vain might have bewailed a
seclusion thus untimely, thus permanent; the worldly-minded might have
mourned the forfeiture of earthly prosperity; any spirit unsupported by
religion must have sunk under unmerited disgrace, embittered by keen
sense of shame and constitutional timidity. Laura was a Christian, and
she could even at times rejoice that the spirit of vanity was mortified,
the temptations of the world withdrawn; even where the blow was more
painful, she humbly believed that it was necessary, and thankfully owned
that it was kind.
The arrangements for her new establishment were soon completed, and the
time came when Laura was to begin her life of seclusion. The day before
her intended removal she completed her twentieth year; and Mrs Douglas
would have assembled a little group of friends to celebrate the
occasion, but Laura steadily opposed it. 'Let not one who is suspected,'
said she, 'assume the boldness of innocence! yet since the suspicion
wrongs me I will not wear the melancholy of guilt. Give the children a
holiday for my sake, and I shall be as playful and as silly as the
youngest of them.' The holiday was granted; and Laura, amidst the joyful
noisy little company that soon assembled round her, forgot that she was
an outcast.
She was busily searching every corner for the hidden handkerchief, the
little rogue who had concealed it in his shoe laughing the while and
clapping his hands in delight, when she started at the voice of a
stranger in the lobby; who was announcing that he had a letter for Mrs
Douglas, which he could deliver to no person but herself. The next
moment the stranger was shewn in to the room, and Laura with amazement
beheld her American attendant. The amazement on his part was still
greater. He started, he trembled, he at first shrunk from Laura, then
eagerly advancing towards her, 'Bless my soul, Madam!' he exclaimed,
'are you alive? Then Mary's words are true, and the angels watch over
you.'
It was some time before the man's astonishment would permit him to
declare his errand. At last when his curiosity had been partially
satisfied, he was prevailed upon to enter his narrative. 'You may
remember, Madam,' said he, addressing himself to Laura, 'it was the
morning we expected my master, (though I told Mary, for a make-believe,
that he would not come till evening,) that morning Mary took you out and
left you; for which I was mortal angry with her, for my mind misgave me
that some mischief would come of it. So she ran down to the place where
she left you sitting, but you were not there. Then she looked all about,
but she could see you nowhere. She was afraid to go among the canes,
for fear of the rattlesnakes, so she ran home and told me. So I went
with her, scolding her to be sure all the way. Well we sought and
sought, till at last, half in the water, and half on the shore, we found
your hat and then to be sure none of us never doubted that you had
drowned yourself; and Mary cried and wrung her hands like a distracted
creature, saying that my master was a wicked wretch that had broken your
heart, and often and often she wished that we could find you to give you
Christian burial, for she said she was sure your ghost would never let
her rest in her bed. But we had no drags, nor anything to take you up
with out of the water. Well, we were just in the midst of all our
troubles when my master came. "Well, Robert," says he, in his hearty
way, "Where is my angel?" I had not the heart to say a word; so with
that Mary ran forward sobbing like a baby, and says she, just off hand,
"Miss Montreville is in a watery grave, and I am sure, Sir, some heavy
judgment will light on him that drove her to it." So my master stood for
a moment thunderstruck, as it were, and then he flew upon us both like a
tiger, and shook us till he scarce left breath in us, and swore that it
was all a trick, and that he would make us produce you or he would have
our lives. So I tried to pacify him the best I could; but Mary answered
him, that it was all his own doing, and that he might seek you in the
river where he would find your corpse. This put my master quite beside
himself; and he catched her up, and flung her from him, just as if she
had been a kitten; and then he flew down to the river side, and I
followed him, and shewed him where we had found your hat; and explained
to him how it was not our fault, for we had both been very civil and
given you no disturbance at all, which you know Madam was true. So,
close to the place where we found your hat we saw the print of your
little shoe in the bank; and when my master saw it he grew quite
distracted, crying out that he had murdered you, and that he would
revenge you upon a wretch not fit to live (meaning himself, Madam), and
so he would have leaped into the river; but by this time one of the
servants he brought with him came up, and we forced him back to the
house. Then he grew more quiet; and called for Mary, and gave her his
purse with all his money, and bid her tell every thing about you, Madam;
how you had behaved, and what you had said. So she told him, crying all
the while, for she repented from her heart that ever she consented to
have any hand in the business. And sometimes he would start away and
gnash his teeth, and dash his head against the wall; and sometimes he
would bid her go on, that he might run distracted at once and forget
all. So she told him that you had written to one Mrs Douglas, in hopes
that when you were dead he would take pity on you, (repeating your very
words, Madam). Then he asked to see the letter, and he carried it into
your room. And there we heard him groaning and speaking to himself, and
throwing himself against the walls; and we thought it best to let him
come to himself a little and not disturb him. So by and by he called for
pen and ink, and I carried them to him, thinking if he wanted to write
it was a sign he was growing more calm. Then he continued writing for
some time, though now and again we heard him restless as before. At last
he opened the door, and called me, "Robert," says he, quite calm and
composed like, "if you deliver this packet as directed, you will earn
three hundred pounds. But be sure to deliver it with your own hand." I
was going to ask him something more about it, for I did not just know
what he meant about the 300; but he pushed me out, and shut himself
into the room. Then I bethought myself that there was something strange
like in his look, and that he was pale, and somehow not like himself. So
I went to the kitchen to consult with the rest what we had best do. So I
had scarcely got there when I heard a pistol go off, and we all ran and
burst open the door, and there we saw my master, Madam, laid out upon
Miss Montreville's bed, and the pistol still in his hand; though he was
stone dead, Madam, for I suppose the ball had gone right through his
heart.'
Laura, dreadfully shocked, and no longer able to listen to this horrible
relation, hastened out of the room, leaving Mrs Douglas to hear what yet
remained to be told of the history of a man of pleasure!!! The servant
proceeded to tell that he and his companions had conveyed their master's
body to head-quarters, had seen it buried with military honours, and
then had sailed in the first ship for Britain. That remembering the
charge to deliver the packet with his own hand, he had come down to
Scotland on purpose to execute his trust; and hoped that Mrs Douglas
would fulfil his master's promise. He then delivered the packet, which
Mrs Douglas opening in his presence, found to contain a bill for 300 in
favour of Robert Lewson, not payable without her signature; the two
letters which Laura had written during her exile; and the following
lines, rendered almost illegible by the convulsive startings of the hand
which traced them.
'The angel whom I have murdered, was an angel still. "The
destroyer came," but found her not. It was her last wish that
you should know her innocence. None can attest it like me. She
was purer than heaven's own light. She loved you. There is
another, too, whom she protests that she loved to the last--but
it was me alone whom she loved with passion. In the anguish of
her soul she called it "idolatry;" and the words of agony are
true. But I, like a base fool, cast her love away for the
heartless toyings of a wanton! And shall I, who might have been
so blest, live now to bear the gnawings of this viper--this
hell never to be escaped?
'She has said that she must go to the grave laden with shame;
that her name is degraded through me. Once more, then, I charge
you, proclaim her innocence. Let no envious tongue presume to
stain that name. Let it be accounted holy. I will save what she
loved better than life, though I have persecuted her--driven
her to death--forced her to hide in the cold waters all that
was loveliest in woman. She says that she will meet you in
heaven,--and it must be true, for falsehood was a stranger to
her lips. Then tell her that he who was her murderer, was her
avenger too. It is said that self-destruction is the
last--worst crime. In others it may be so. In me it is but
justice; for every law condemns the murderer to die. He who
destroyed that angel should die a thousand deaths. Justice
shall be speedy.
'VILLIERS HARGRAVE.'
Mrs Douglas had no sooner read the contents of her packet, than she
hastened to communicate them to Laura. The horror inspired by Hargrave's
letter, and the dreadful destiny of the writer, did not render her
insensible to the pleasure of being empowered to clear, beyond a doubt,
the fame of her young friend. Laura was, however, for the present, in no
state to share her joy. She could only weep; and, trembling, pray that
she might be enabled to guard against the first beginnings of that
self-indulgence, whose end is destruction!
Mrs Douglas at last found means to rouse her by naming De Courcy, and
reminding her of his right to immediate information of this happy change
in her situation. Laura, as superior to coquetry as to any other species
of despicable cruelty, instantly sat down to communicate the news to her
lover. To her plain unvarnished tale, she added copies of the letters
which attested her innocence, with Lewson's account of the names and
addresses of those persons who had been employed to carry her from
England.
Evening was drawing on before Laura had finished her task; and, desirous
to recruit her spirits before she joined the family circle, she stole
abroad to breathe the reviving air of her native hills. She had crossed
the little lawn, and was opening the gate, when, seeing a carriage drive
quickly up, she drew back. The carriage stopped. She heard an
exclamation of joy, and the next moment she was pressed to the heart of
De Courcy.
Laura first recovered utterance. 'What happy chance,' she cried, 'has
brought you here just at the moment when I am permitted to rejoice that
you are come?' 'Ah, Laura,' said De Courcy, 'could I know that you were
alive and in Britain, yet make no effort to find you? I was convinced
that Mrs Douglas must know your retreat. I was sure that I could plead
so that no human heart could resist my entreaties. And now I have found
thee, I will never leave thee but with life.'
The little shrubbery walk which led round the lawn to the parsonage was
not half a quarter of a mile in length, yet it was an hour before the
lovers reached the house; and before Laura presented De Courcy to her
friends she had promised that in one week she would reward his tried
affection; and had settled, that after they had spent a few days in
delightful solitude at Glenalbert, she would accompany him to Norwood.
*       *       *       *       *
Laura has now been for some years a wife; and the same qualities which
made her youth respectable, endear her to the happy partner of her
maturer life. She still finds daily exercise for her characteristic
virtue; since even amidst the purest worldly bliss self-denial is
necessary. But the tranquil current of domestic happiness affords no
materials for narrative. The joys that spring from chastened affection,
tempered desires, useful employment, and devout meditation, must be
felt--they cannot be described.
THE END.