Christian marriage : a study of the sacrament of matrimony and of Christian family life


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CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

Rev. Edgar Schmiedeler\ 0. S. B.

The Catholic Action Series of Textbooks for Religious Discussion Clubs





The Catholic Action Series of Textbooks for Religious Discussion Clubs

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

A Study of the Sacrament of Matrimony and of Christian
Family Life by REV. EDGAR SCHMIEDELER, O.S.B., Ph.D.,
LL.D., St. Benedict's Abbey, Atchison, Kansas, former Direc-
tor of the Family Life Bureau of the National Catholic
Welfare Conference, Washington, D. C. Arranged for use of
Religious Discussion Clubs by Rt. Rev. Msgr. Leon A. McNeill,
M. A., former Director of the Confraternity of Christian
Doctrine, Diocese of Wichita,

Published by the CATHOLIC BOOKSHOP, INC., Wichita, Kansas, 1956



To

Mrs. Catherine Bartholome, St. Cloud, Minnesota, beloved by millions as
the “First Catholic Mother of the Year,” whose distinguished son, the
Most Reverend Peter W. Bartholome, D.D., is Bishop of St. Cloud and
Episcopal Moderator of the Family Life Bureau, N.C.W.C.

Nihil Obstat

REV. STANISLAS ESSER

Censor Librorum

Imprimatur

f MARCUS K. CARROLL

Episcopus Wichitensis

Datum Wichitae

die 1 Julii, A.D. 1956

COPYRIGHT 1956, CATHOLIC BOOKSHOP, INC.

Deacfdffled



INTRODUCTION
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, by Rev. Edgar Schmiedeler, O.S.B.,

presents a series of brief instructions on the sacrament of Matrimony

and Christian family life. It is intended for young people who look forward

to marriage, and for married people who wish to obtain a better under-

standing, according to the mind of the Church, of the holy state of life

which they have embraced.

The author has well been named the “father of the Family Movement

in the United States.” He was appointed first Director of the N.C.W.C.
Family Life Bureau in 1931, and rendered twenty-five years of distinguished

service in that capacity until his resignation in February of 1956. Father

Schmiedeler founded the National Catholic Conference on Family Life,

wrote a number of authoritative books and pamphlets on problems of

marriage and the family, served as editor of several magazines, and gave

countless lectures, addresses, conferences, and retreats on subjects related

to Christian family life in all parts of the United States and abroad.

The publishers consider it a distinct privilege to issue this booklet, which

summarizes, as it were, the thinking and experience of his long and

fruitful apostolate.

The text of Christian Marriage is divided into sixteen chapters, suffi-

cient for two eight-week semesters of discussion club activity. Each chapter

is subdivided into convenient sections for reading and study, is implemented

with numerous discussion aids, and is followed by suggestions for devo-

tional and apostolic practices. In subject matter, arrangement, and format,

the booklet conforms in every respect to standards for discussion club texts

established by the National Center of the Confraternity of Christian

Doctrine.

With the publication of Christian Marriage the Catholic Bookshop,

Inc., begins a new series of textbooks for religious discussion clubs.
Plans call for the preparation of additional textbooks on Christian

Apologetics, Holy Scripture, the Spiritual Life, and other suitable sub-
jects within the next few years. Previous units in the Catholic Action
Series have been used widely throughout the United States and Canada
during the past quarter century.. The cordial reception which they have
received engenders the hope that units in the Second Series will also

3



render significant service to the many thousands of lay people who
wish to become enlightened and articulate leaders in Catholic Action.

Grateful acknowledgement is made to His Excellency, Most Reverend
Mark K. Carroll, S.T.D., Bishop of Wichita, for the official sanction
which he has given to the publication of these textbooks; to the author,

Father Schmiedeler, for favoring us with a treatise on the timely and

important subject to which he has devoted so many years of his life;
and to Rev. Stanislas Esser, Censor Librorum of the Diocese of Wichita,

for critical reading of the manuscript.

We place this booklet under the patronage of St. Joseph, Spouse
of the Immaculate Mother of God, Foster Father of the Child Jesus, and

Patron of the Universal Church, whose feast we celebrate today. May he
obtain for all who study this textbook the grace to model their lives after the
example given to the world by the Holy Family in their humble home at
Nazareth.

Rt. Rev. Msgr. Leon A. McNeill, M.A.

Wichita, Kansas

March 19, 1956

Feast of St. Joseph

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CONTENTS

Introduction 3

The Religious Discussion Club 7

UNIT I

I. Christian Marriage, a Sacrament 9

II. The Christian Family, a Replica of the Mystical Body of Christ 13

III. The Priestly Aspects of Parenthood 17

IV. The Primary Purpose of Marriage 21

V. The Home, the Child’s Primeval School 25

VI. The Properties of Marriage 29

VII. The Marriage Ceremony 33

VIII. The Home, a Church in Miniature 37

UNIT II

IX. The Liturgical Year and the Family 41

X. The Home, a School of the Virtues 45

XI. The Theological Virtues in Family Life 49

XII. The Church’s Legislative Power over Matrimony .... 53
XIII. Mixed Marriage 57

XIV. Adjustment in Marriage 61

XV. The Religious Order and the Christian Family 65

XVI. Religious Practices in Home and Monastery 69

Reference List Inside back cover

5



1



THE RELIGIOUS DISCUSSION CLUB

A religious discussion club is a group of from six to twelve
persons who meet weekly to study and discuss a religious subject, in order
to gain a better understanding of their religion, to develop a facility in

presenting the teachings of the Church to others, and to put religious
truths into practice in daily living.

ORGANIZATION
1. A religious discussion club is ideally made up of a leader, a secretary,

and some four to ten additional members.
2. A religious discussion club should always be under the guidance of a

priest, who will be its spiritual director.
3. A suitable textbook should be selected for the club, preferably one

which conforms to established CCD standards for discussion club texts.
Each member should purchase a copy of the textbook and bring it with
him to the meetings of the group.

DUTIES OF OFFICERS
1. The spiritual director encourages the members in their study, shows

his interest by attending meetings occasionally, provides answers to
questions referred to him by the secretary, and directs the members
in works of the lay apostolate which develop out of the discussion.

2. The leader, who is also a learner, asks the members in turn to read
passages of the text aloud while the others follow silently; he then
guides the discussion with the help of the aids given in the textbook.
Members should be encouraged to ask additional questions, but discussion
should be limited to topics included in the lesson.

3. The secretary calls the roll, keeps a brief record of each meeting, and
reduces to writing questions that cannot be answered within the group.
The secretary submits these questions to the spiritual director and
reports on his responses at the next meeting of the club.

MEETINGS
1. Eight weekly meetings during the fall term and again during the spring-

term will be sufficient to cover the material in this textbook, which is
divided into sixteen brief chapters.

2. Meetings are held wherever it is convenient for the members to assemble.
Experience has shown that the discussion club will be more appealing
and successful if meetings are held in the homes of the members.

3. Each meeting should last not more than an hour or, at most, an hour
and a half, and informality should at all times mark the procedure of
the club.

4. The Order of Meetings and the opening Prayer to the Holy Spirit will
be found on the following page.

5. Emphasis should be placed on putting into immediate practice the
truths presented in the text, and members should be encouraged to
adopt the practices suggested at the end of each chapter.

6. The members of the group should establish a policy in regard to serving
refreshments or including other social activities in the program. The
question should be considered from every angle before a definite policy

7



is established, but in no case should the social element be allowed to
interfere with the more serious work of the club.

7. At the close of the season, it is well to arrange a Day of Recollection for
all discussion-club participants. Discussion groups of a parish or of
several parishes may also wish to hold a joint meeting at which a
pageant, tableau, play, lecture, or other suitable program may be
nrpopritp/l

ADDITIONAL SUGGESTIONS
1. The members may wish to choose a patron saint and an appropriate

Christian name for the discussion club.
2. Non-Catholics who are willing to learn with their Catholic neighbors

may gain and contribute much in religious discussion. Sometimes they
are able to inspire them with a new appreciation of the beauty and
simplicity of Catholic doctrine.

3. Books, magazine and newspaper articles, pictures and other illustrative
materials which pertain to the subject of discussion should be brought
to the attention of the club.

4. The books and pamphlets included in the reference list at the back of
this textbook are recommended to those who wish to do further reading
on the subject of Christian marriage.

5. The following pamphlets are especially recommended to those who are
responsible for organizing and directing religious discussion clubs: The
Religious Discussion Club ; Instructions for Religious Discussion Club
Leaders; and Suggested Preparatory Course for Discussion Club Leaders.
They are available from Confraternity Publications, 508 Marshall St.,
Paterson, N. J.

ORDER OF MEETINGS
1. Open with prayer.
2. Roll call.

3. Brief review of previous meeting by secretary.
4. Report by secretary of replies to difficulties

referred to the spiritual director.

5. Reading and discussion of current assignment.
6. Assignment for the next meeting.
7. Announcement of time and place of next meeting.
8. Adjournment, with prayer.

PRAYER TO THE HOLY SPIRIT
Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of the faithful
and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love.

V. Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created.
R. And Thou shall renew the face of the earth.

Let us pray

0 God, who didst instruct the hearts of the faithful by the light
of the Holy Spirit, grant us in the same Spirit to be truly wise, and
ever to rejoice in His consolation. Through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

(Indulgence of five years. Plenary indulgence, un-
der the usual conditions, if the prayer has been re-
cited daily for a month. S. P. Ap., Dec. 22, 1932.)

8



I

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

a Sacrament

A God-given mark of human marriage that has in no small
measure been lost sight of in our day is its sanctity. It is well to recall
this property and to impress it anew upon our minds. Even natural mar-
riage, as God constituted it, is sacred. But Christian marriage is far more
sacred. It is one of the seven sacraments of the Church.

Which property of human marriage should we impress anew upon our
minds? Why is Christian marriage far more sacred than natural marriage?

MARRIAGE AN HONORABLE INSTITUTION. The view that mar-
riage is an honorable and lawful institution has always been vigorously
upheld by the Church against those who have denied it. In doing so, she
recognized such obvious facts as the following: that marriage is based on
the diversity of sexes established by the Creator Himself ; that its primary
purpose is the very praiseworthy one of preserving the human race by the
procreation and education of offspring; and that it is normally a manifes-
tation of the noblest emotion of the human heart, namely, love. Hence she
has relentlessly condemned the erroneous views of the Manicheans and
Albigensians, who maintained that the marriage state is ignoble and even
sinful.

The latter two groups arrived at their false conclusion by assuming
that everything corporeal, including the human body, was produced by the
powers of darkness, and as a result is intrinsically evil. The Church, on the
contrary, declared that all things in the visible universe have been created
by God, and, consequently, that the use of the sexual faculties for the pur-
pose intended by Him could not be degrading and sinful so long as the
manner in which they were employed was in harmony with the plans of
the Almighty.

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What view of marriage has always been upheld by the Church? In
doing so, which are some of the obvious facts that the Church has recog-
nized? State the erroneous view maintained by the Manicheans and Albi-
gensians. How did they arrive at their false conclusion? Under what
condition is the use of the sexual faculties noble and lawful?

MARRIAGE HAS A NATURAL SANCTITY. But marriage is even
more than just an honorable and lawful institution. It is a sacred insti-
tution. And it is that even as a natural institution. Its very purpose
suggests the fact. Through marriage man and woman cooperate with the
Almighty in bringing into existence and in training human beings destined
for an eternity of happiness in heaven.

Holy Writ shows us God's special interest in the marriage state. Thus,
the Book of Genesis tells us that, when God created the first man and
woman, He blessed them, not merely as individuals but also as husband
and wife . 1 Furthermore, in the Old Law He promulgated an elaborate code
of marriage laws for the Chosen People . 2 Even primitive people who have
had no contact with Christianity look upon marriage as something sacred.
Christ, while upon this earth, gave a striking sanction to marriage by
attending the wedding feast at Cana and there working His first miracle.

How does the very purpose of marriage suggest that it is sacred even
as a natural institution? Mention two passages from the Old Testament
which show us God's special interest in the marriage state. In what way
did Christ give a striking sanction to marriage?

MARRIAGE UNDER CHRISTIANITY A SACRAMENT. Christ did
more than give sanction to marriage by attending the nuptials at Cana.
He elevated it to the great dignity of a sacrament, a grace-giving institu-
tion. Such has always been the view of the Church. Theologians do not
agree on what particular occasion Christ instituted the sacrament, but they
do agree on the fact. For instance, they cite the passage from St. Paul’s
Epistle to the Ephesians in which he says that the union of husband and
wife in Christian marriage is a symbol of the union of Christ with His
Sacred Spouse, the Church . 3

The implication here is that just as the union of Our Blessed Redeemer
with the Church assures an unfailing source of supernatural blessings for
mankind, so the matrimonial contract is productive of divine graces for
husband and wife. The early writers of the Church extol the sanctifying
power of Christian marriage, and do not hesitate to compare it, as a means
of grace, with the sacraments of Baptism and Holy Orders. That marriage
is a sacrament is, of course, a defined doctrine of the Church.

Like all other sacraments, that of Matrimony requires Baptism as a
prerequisite for its valid reception. The unbaptized cannot receive a sacra-
ment. Their marriage, while an honorable and sacred contract, is not a
sacrament.

Besides giving sanction to marriage at Cana, what else did Christ do?
To what does St. Paul compare the union of husband and wife in Christian

1. Genesis 1, 28.

2. Leviticus 18.

3. Ephesians 5, 22-33.

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marriage? What is the implication here? What did the early writers of
the Church have to say about Christian marriage? What is a prerequisite
for the valid reception of the sacrament of Matrimony?

THE GRACES OF THE SACRAMENT. The sacrament of Matrimony,
like other sacraments of the living, increases in the spouses the spiritual
life of the soul that is sanctifying grace, that spiritual life of the soul that

we call a participation of the divinity. Furthermore, it gives them the title
to actual graces that assist them in meeting the obligations they assume in
their lifelong union. They have only to cooperate with that grace.

In other words, just as the sacrament of Holy Orders, for instance,
gives those who receive it a title to special graces to assist them in fulfilling
the duties of their priestly state of life, so the sacrament of Matrimony
gives a title to special graces to the couple who receive it, to help them to
fulfill the duties of their state of life. Thus, it provides that Christian
spouses are not left alone and unaided in facing the inevitable difficulties
that will come their way, but that they have an ever-present source of help
and strength in the graces of the sacrament.

What graces are given by the sacrament of Matrimony? Compare the
sacramental grace of Matrimony with that of Holy Orders.

A NEVER-ENDING WELLSPRING OF HOLINESS. Here, then, is
the first great central fact regarding Christian marriage: it is a sacra-
ment, a grace-giving institution. In view of the circumstances of the
times, it is most important that individuals impress that upon themselves
anew. They must vigorously reject the view of those who think it merely
a natural contract or agreement, or just a formality required by Church
or State authorities before a man and woman can live together as
husband and wife.

So, too, must they reject the view of those who consider it some-
thing, so to speak, on the borderline of Christianity — something just
tolerated by the Church. They must accept it for all that it is, a sacred
thing, a supernatural thing. They must recognize it as a union of two
personalities throbbing with the supernatural Christ-life of grace, as a
never-ending wellspring of holiness that sanctifies husband and wife in
their life together. Only when they do that can they appreciate the
sublime dignity and the excellence of Christian marriage.

What, then, is the first great central fact regarding Christian marriage?
What views in regard to marriage must be rejected? How alone can we
appreciate the sublime dignity and excellence of Christian marriage?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Read the passages from Holy Scripture to which reference has been

made in Chapter I.
2. Read Pope Pius XPs Encyclical on Christian Marriage (Casti Connubii).

The following excerpts from this great papal pronouncement will re-em-
phasize the doctrine presented in this chapter.

Excerpts from the Encyclical on Christian Marriage

How great is the dignity of chaste wedlock, Venerable Brethren, may
be judged best from this that Christ Our Lord, Son of the Eternal Father,

11



having assumed the nature of fallen man, not only, with His loving desire
of compassing the Redemption of our race, ordained it in an especial manner
as the principle and foundation of domestic society and therefore of all
human intercourse, but also raised it to the rank of a truly and great sacra-
ment of the New Law, restored it to the original purity of its divine institu-
tion, and accordingly entrusted all its discipline and care to His Spouse,
the Church.

... let it be repeated as an immutable and inviolable fundamental doc-
trine that Matrimony was not instituted or restored by man but by God;
not by man were the laws made to strengthen and confirm and elevate it
but by God, the Author of nature, and by Christ Our Lord by whom nature
was redeemed, and hence these laws cannot be subject to any human decrees
or to any contrary pact even of the spouses themselves.

Yet, although Matrimony is of its very nature of divine institution,
the human will, too, enters into it and performs a most noble part. For each
individual marriage, inasmuch as it is a conjugal union of a particular
man and woman, arises only from the free consent of each of the spouses;
and this free act of the will, by which each party hands over and accepts
those rights proper to the state of marriage, is so necessary to constitute
true marriage that it cannot be supplied by any human power.

Therefore the sacred partnership of true ^marriage is constituted both
by the will of God and the will of man. From God come the very institution
of marriage, the ends for which it was instituted, the laws that govern it,
the blessings that flow from it; while man, through generous surrender of
his own person made to another for the whole span of life, becomes, with
the help and cooperation of God, the author of each particular marriage,
with the duties and blessings annexed thereto from divine institution.

Christ the Lord, the Institutor and Perfecter of the holy sacraments,
by raising the Matrimony of His faithful to the dignity of a true sacrament
of the New Law, made it a sign and source of that particular internal grace
by which “it perfects natural love, it confirms an indissoluble union, and
sanctifies both man and wife.”

These parties, let it be noted, not fettered but adorned by the golden
bond of the sacrament, not hampered but assisted, should strive with all their
might to the end that their wedlock, not only through the power and
symbolism of the sacrament, but also through their spirit and manner of life,
may be and remain always the living image of that most fruitful union of
Christ with the Church, which is to be venerated as the sacred token of
most perfect love.

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II

THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

a Replica of the Mystical Body of Christ

In speaking in the foregoing of the fact that marriage is a
sacrament, reference was made to the inspiring truth taught us by St. Paul,
namely, that the union of husband and wife in Christian marriage is a
symbol, or representation, of the sacred union of Christ with His Spouse,
the Church. This teaching implies, in brief, that the Christian family,

which is based on Christian marriage, is in a sense the Mystical Body of
Christ in miniature. In other words, it means that the Christian family
is a replica, or copy, in miniature of the Church of God.

What inspiring truth in regard to Christian marriage is taught us by
St. Paul? What does this teaching imply?

BASIS FOR THIS TEACHING. The basis for this sublime teaching,
which lends such great dignity to Christian marriage and the family, is
found in the Epistle of St. Paul to the Ephesians. It is in the fifth chapter
of that letter that the Apostle of the Gentiles notes that the union of
husband and wife in Christian marriage is a representation of the sacred
union of Christ with the Church. It is there that he infers that the latter
sacred union — that, namely, of Christ with His Church — should be the
model for the former, or the union of the two spouses in Christian marriage.

The pertinent words of the text have been quoted time without
number. The following are some of them: “Let wives be subject to their
husbands as to the Lord; because a husband is head of the wife, just as
Christ is head of the Church/’ “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the Church, and delivered Himself up for her, that He might
sanctify her.”

Where do we find the basis for St. Paul's sublime teaching in regard
to Christian marriage and the family? Of what is the union of husband

13



and wife in Christian marriage a representation? Quote some pertinent
passages from St. Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians.

MINIATURE REPLICA OF THE MYSTICAL BODY OF CHRIST.
In its entirety, this particular chapter of St. Paul to the Ephesians implies
that the Christian family, based on Christian marriage, is, as already noted,
a miniature replica of the Mystical Body of Christ, the Church. That is,
if we visualize the family as the Church in miniature, we see that the
husband and father is the head of the body, representing Christ there;
that the wife and mother is the body itself, representing the Church; and
that the children are the members of the body, representing the faithful.

This is, of course, truly sublime doctrine, lending great dignity to
Christian marriage. But it must also be said to be mysterious doctrine.
In fact, St. Paul explicitly states that he is speaking of a great mystery.
But the practical thing to note is, that there is not question of a mere
figure of speech or of a figment of the imagination. To the contrary, there
is question of an eternal truth, of a belief, or mystery, of Christianity.

Explain how the Christian family is a miniature replica of the Mystical
Body of Christ, the Church. Discuss St. Paul’s teaching as “sublime but
mysterious doctrine.” What is the practical thing to note here?

IMPLICATIONS OF THE TEACHING. But, even though there is
question of a mystery, some of the implications of this teaching of St. Paul
are quite clear. Thus, one thing that is obviously implied is that the bond
that unites Christ and the Church — His Spouse, as she is called — should
be mirrored in the bond that unites husband and wife in Christian
marriage. And certainly the former is an unbreakable bond. There cannot
be even a thought of a separation or divorce between Christ and His Church.

So, too, does it imply that the attributes, or properties, that distinguish
the union of Christ and the Church are reflected in the attributes, or
properties, that characterize the union of husband and wife in marriage.
And most assuredly one of these properties is unity. There is to be one
husband and one wife, as there is one fold and one Shepherd, one Church
and one Christ.

What relation does the bond that unites Christ and His Church have
to the bond that unites husband and wife in Christian marriage? What
does St. Paul’s teaching imply in regard to the permanency of the bond?
in regard to the unity of Christian marriage?

THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP OF LOVE. A further implication
that flows logically from this teaching of St. Paul is that the relationship
between members of a Christian family must be most ideal. Certainly this
relationship is put on the highest plane by St. Paul when he speaks of love.
Thus he points out that the guide or measuring rod of the husband’s love
for his wife is to be the love which Christ has for His Church. Since that
is the case, it follows that the love of the wife for the husband, in turn,
is to be like the love of the Church for Christ. It is quite impossible to
conceive of any higher love.

By the same token, one must conclude that the children are to look up
to their father and mother with something of that same reverent love and

14



respect that they bear Christ and His Church, who are represented, re-
spectively, by the father and the mother.

What further implication flows logically from St. Paul's teaching

?

What should he the measuring rod of the husband's love for his wife?
of the wife's love for her husband? of the children's love and respect for
their parents?

A “HEAVEN-BORN” LOVE, SAYS POPE LEO XIII. Much to the
point here are some words of Pope Leo XIII, written in his Encyclical on
Christian Marriage (Arcanum) . Referring to the love that should exist
between Christian spouses, he called it a “heaven-born” love. “Since the
husband represents Christ,” he wrote, “and since the wife represents the
Church, let there always be, both in him who commands and in her who
obeys, a heaven-born love guiding them in their respective duties. For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church.”

Naturally, then, any difference that may arise between them should
not be settled by show of authority or by fine distinctions between mine
and thine, but by a spirit of true Christ-like love. Obviously, too, this
heaven-born love of the husband and father and the wife and mother, of
which Pope Leo speaks, should extend to the children of the family, for
they represent the faithful of the Church.

How did Pope Leo XIII characterize the love that should exist between
Christian spouses? In what way should differences between husband and
wife be settled? Why should the love of parents extend also to the children
of the family?

THE NATURE OF CHRIST’S LOVE FOR THE CHURCH. If one
considers the nature of Christ’s love for His Spouse, the Church, he finds
that it is characterized by two outstanding properties, namely, a spirit of
giving and a desire for unity.

Obviously the love of Christ for the Church, for those whom He came
to save, implies a spirit of giving. In truth, He died for us. He gave His
all for us. He “emptied Himself,” as St. Paul says . 1 Greater gift, greater
generosity, greater sacrifice could not be imagined, even when God Himself
is the Giver and the Lover.

So also was the love of Christ characterized by a longing for unity.
He desired unity with His Spouse, the Church; He wanted most intensely
a unity among its members and with Himself. He desired a unity that was
modeled after that of the Triune God Himself. “Holy Father, keep in Thy
name those whom Thou hast given Me, that they may be one even as We
are. . . . Yet not for these only do I pray, but for those also who through
their word are to believe in Me, that all may be one, even as Thou,
Father, in Me and I in Thee; that they also may be one in Us, that the
world may believe that Thou hast sent Me.”2 The unity that is a mark of
Christ’s love for His Church is found, of course, in the unity of the Church,
His Mystical Body.

Name two outstanding properties which characterize Christ's love for

1. Philippians, 2, 7.

2. John 17, 11; 20-21.

15



His Spouse, the Church. Discuss the spirit of giving which is implied by
the love of Christ for the Church. Describe the unity which is a mark of
ChrisVs love for His Church.

MODEL FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.
A love, then, characterized by giving, even to the last drop of His blood,
and a love distinguished by a longing for unity, a longing finding realization
in the oneness of members in a single Mystical Body, that is the love of
Christ for His Spouse, the Church. And that, according to St. Paul, is
the model for husband and wife in Christian marriage. It is a love that
sacrifices gladly, always giving cheerfully and wholeheartedly. It is a love
that finds its joy in unity, a unity of heart and soul as well as of body, a
unity by which husband and wife are no longer two apart, but two in one,
a unity that will tolerate no separation until death intervenes to part them.

How may we describe the love of Christ for His Church which is the
model for husband and wife in Christian marriage? Explain how the true
love of husband and wife finds expression in their life together.

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Try to obtain a clear understanding of what is meant by the term

“Mystical Body of Christ.” (Cf. Baltimore Catechism No. 2 or No. 3,
question 169.)

2. If you are married or planning to marry, try sincerely to make the love
between you and your spouse a Christ-like love, characterized by “a
spirit of giving and a desire for unity.”

16



Ill

THE PRIESTLY ASPECTS

OF PARENTHOOD

One of the things that most forcefully shows the great dignity
of Christian fatherhood and motherhood is the fact of their priesthood.
Husband and wife, father and mother, have in a very real sense priestly
functions to perform in the family circle. This should explain why the
Church holds Christian parenthood in such high regard. It should induce
parents to have a profound respect for their office.

Why does the Church hold Christian parenthood in such high regard?
What effect should this have on the attitude of parents toward their office?

BASES FOR THIS TEACHING. There are a number of bases for
the teaching that Christian parenthood is a priestly office. Thus there is
the fact, for instance, that the two parties to the marriage contract them-
selves administer the sacrament. That is really to say that they confer
the grace of the sacrament on each other. Obviously, to confer grace is to
perform what is normally a priestly function.

Again, there is the fact that the Christian home is a church in
miniature. That is to say, religious rituals, devotional exercises — priestly
functions, in a word — should be in place within its walls. As a matter of
fact, exemplary Christian homes have traditionally been characterized by
religious devotions and rituals.

Who are the ministers of grace in the sacrament of Matrimony? What
do we mean when we say that the Christian home is a church in miniature?

PARENTS HAVE PRIESTLY FUNCTIONS TO PERFORM. That,
specifically, the husband and father has priestly functions to perform in

17



the home should appear obvious from the fact that in the Christian family,
which is, as already noted, a replica of the Mystical Body of Christ, the
Church, he represents Christ as the head of the home. Nor should the fact
be overlooked in this connection that, as St. Paul teaches, the mother
represents Holy Mother Church. Hence, she, too, must logically be expected
to have priestly functions to perform. One cannot conceive of a church
without a priesthood and priestly functions.

Why is it obvious that the husband and father has priestly functions
to perform in the home ? Whom does the mother represent in the Christian
family, and what does this imply

?

THE FATHER’S MISSION INVOLVES CARE OF SOULS. Then,
too, this teaching of the priesthood of Christian parenthood is also indicated
elsewhere in the Scriptures, and, in addition, in the Church’s liturgy and
in tradition. In the last-mentioned connection, the following incident from
the life of St. Augustine may well be recalled. Speaking one day to a group
of fathers in his own diocese, he addressed them with the following striking
salutation: “My dear fellow bishops.” Then he went on to say to them,
“Each and every one of you has in the home the bishop’s office, to see to it
that neither his wife nor his son nor his daughter nor even his servant
fall away from truth. For they are bought with a great price.”

The obvious meaning of the words is, that it is a duty of the head of
the family to watch over the spiritual welfare of its members. In other
words, it means that the father has a mission that involves the care of
souls. In fact, according to St. Augustine’s words, much as the bishop
is accountable before God for his diocesan flock, so is the father accountable
for the spiritual welfare of his little sheepfold. That is to say, he is pastor
of the flock; he has priestly duties to perform toward its members.

Where else do we find indications of the priesthood of Christian
parents ? What did St. Augustine say on one occasion to a group of fathers
in his diocese? Explain the meaning of St. Augustine's words.

WHAT THE PRIESTLY PARENTAL OFFICE IMPLIES. To see
what is implied by the priestly office of the father in the home, one should
recall the office of Christ. For the father represents Him as the head of
that Mystical Body in miniature, the home. Now Christ was called by the
Father to be a Priest. He was to have the care of souls. In the fulfillment
of that office, as He Himself tells us, all power was given Him in heaven
and on earth. That power He shared in varying degrees with His followers
before leaving this earth to return to His Father.

To the Holy Father, His Vicar and the head of His “family” on earth,
He gave powers that He gave to none other. Then in lesser measure He
gave powers to bishops and priests. The basis for it is the sacrament of
Holy Orders. Then, too, He gave some to the generality of the faithful, the
“royal priesthood,” as St. Peter called them . 1 The basis for this is the
consecration given them through the sacrament of Baptism, and normally
also the sacrament of Confirmation. But some of the members of this lay
priesthood receive still another consecration. They are husbands and wives,
those who have received the sacrament of Matrimony.

1. I Peter 2, 9.

18



Discuss the office of Christ as Priest. What powers did He give to the
Holy Father? What is the basis for the powers which He gave to bishops
and priests? to the general body of the faithful? to husbands and wives?

PARENTS AS EDUCATORS OF THEIR CHILDREN. Pope Pius XII
has clearly indicated, in great part at least, in his Encyclical on the Mystical

Body what the priestly office of Christian parents consists in. He there
points out, namely, that Matrimony implies a solemn consecration of the
married partners that dedicates them to a joint teaching office in the
Church, the Mystical Body of Christ. “Through Matrimony,” he says, “in
which the contracting parties are ministers of grace to one another,
provision is made for the duly regulated increase of the Christian society,
and what is of greater importance, for the correct religious instruction of
children, without which the Mystical Body would be in grave danger/’

These words indicate with unquestionable clarity one of the main
priestly offices of Christian parents, the teaching, or instructing, of their

children in their religion. The parents are the little ones’ first teachers.
And of the utmost importance is the teaching of the truths of religion, since
the very end and purpose of their coming into this world is the attainment
of ultimate union with God. Obviously this is a most noble task. It actually
implies on their part, as the Encyclical on the Mystical Body puts it, the
safeguarding of Holy Mother Church. Little wonder, therefore, that it has
been said that, for parents to fulfill this teaching office toward their
children, is to participate in the lay priesthood “in its most glorious form.”

What did Pope Pius XII have to say, in his Encyclical on the Mystical
Body, about the priestly office of Christian parents? Why is it of the utmost
importance for parents to teach religion to their children?

PARENTS AS MEDIATORS WITH GOD. Teaching, however, is not
the only priestly office that parents have as representatives, respectively,
of Christ and of the Church. They must also be mediators for their children
with God. That is, they must intercede for them with the Almighty, even
as Christ, the great High Priest, was Mediator for men.

How important this priestly office is may well be seen from the example
of St. Monica. This saintly woman was the mother of St. Augustine.
The latter had strayed far from the path of virtue in his younger years.
However, the saintly Monica never ceased to pray for him, and with the
ultimate result that has been the inspiration of millions down through the
centuries. Augustine not only gave up his sinful ways, but in time be-
came a great bishop and eventually an outstanding saint of the Church.
Unquestionably great numbers of other children have been kept to the path
of virtue, or brought back to it, through the mediation of a holy father
and mother.

What is the duty of parents as mediators for their children with God?
How did St. Monica fulfill this duty in regard to her son, St. Augustine, and
with what results?

PARENTS IN THE PRIESTLY ROLE OF SANCTIFIERS. Still
another office typified in Christ the Priest is that of sanctifier. This also
comes within the scope of the priestly office of parenthood. To be sure,

19



fathers and mothers normally cannot transmit supernatural life to their
children. But they have the obligation of seeing to it that supernatural
life is transmitted to them. That is, it is for them to bring their children
to Christ, in the person of the priest, that through Baptism they may be
given supernatural life; in other words, that they may be made children
of God and heirs to His Kingdom.

Furthermore, they can unquestionably help their children much, as
they can also help each other, in working out their eternal salvation, after
they have been made children of God through Baptism. That follows logically
from the fact that, under the sacrament of Matrimony, Christian husbands
and wives live constantly in a sacramental state, and, as a result, have a
constant title to the graces of the sacrament, both for the spiritual good
of each other and of the children committed to their care.

How do 'parents see to it that supernatural life is transmitted to their
children? What special graces are available for parents in helping each
other and their children to work out their eternal salvation?

RE-EMPHASIZING THE PRIESTLY NATURE OF CHRISTIAN
PARENTHOOD. Few things could do more for family life today than to
re-emphasize the priestly nature of Christian parenthood. To do so would
accomplish much toward impressing on the fathers and mothers of the day
their great dignity and the profound holiness that must be expected of them
as a result of it. Likewise would it do much toward inducing young
potential parents to prepare themselves zealously to be truly worthy of the
same high and dignified office in the years ahead.

What effect will a re-emphasis on the priestly nature of Christian
parenthood have on fathers and mothers? on young potential parents?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. If you are married, pray for the grace to realize and fulfill your

“priestly” office in the home.

2. If you have children, be zealous for their spiritual welfare, give them
religious instruction and moral training, edify them by your good exam-
ple, pray for them, and encourage them in the practice of their religion.

20



IV

THE PRIMARY PURPOSE

OF MARRIAGE

The dignity of Christian marriage also shows forth from its
primary purpose. That purpose is the child. As the encyclical of Pope
Pius XI concisely puts it, “In marriage the child holds first place.” It is
because of the child that God has given us the institution of marriage.

What did Pope Pius XI say about the place of the child in marriage?
Why did God give us the institution of marriage?

GOD’S HELPERS AND AGENTS. An all-wise and omnipotent God
could, of course, have propagated the human race in any of a number of
different ways. For instance, He could have created all mankind directly,
as He did the first man and woman. But actually He did not. He chose
this one particular way. He instituted marriage.

God made man and woman His helpers in begetting the children of
the race. He made them, as the Encyclical on Christian Marriage puts it,
“ministers, as it were, of the Divine Omnipotence.” In fact, he did more.

He also made them His agents in the training of the children of the race,
in their training for this life and the next, for time and eternity. It should
be needless to add that all this lends great dignity, high excellence, to
Christian marriage.

How did God choose to propagate the human race? Could He have
done it in any other way? Explain how parents are God's helpers and
agents in marriage.

THE CHILD AND HIS PURPOSES. It should help still further to
show the high excellence of Christian marriage from the viewpoint of the
child, to consider for a moment what he is, what his intrinsic dignity is,

21



and what his sublime end consists in. Regarding the first, we find that the
child is a creature far above all other visible creatures, “little less than
the angels," as we read in the Book of Psalms . 1 He is a being created
according to the very image and likeness of God. As to his end, or purpose,
he is born, of course, for an earthly, or natural, community, but, much more,
he is born for a supernatural community. He is born to be a member of
Christ's Church on earth. He is born to be a fellow-citizen of the saints,
a member of God’s household. He is born for eventual eternal union with
God Himself.

Truly remarkable, then, is the fruit of marriage, children born by the
omnipotent power of God through the cooperation of those bound in holy
wedlock. Sublime indeed is the dignity of marriage as seen in the child,
the primary purpose for which God established it.

What is the child? For what end is he horn? To what conclusion does
this lead in regard to the dignity of marriage?

THE DIGNITY OF CHRISTIAN PARENTHOOD. From the dignity
of the child naturally follows the dignity of parenthood, of fatherhood and
motherhood. With regard to the former, it is recorded in Holy Writ that
all fatherhood is of God. As St. Paul reminds us in his Epistle to the
Ephesians, all fatherhood in heaven and on earth receives its name from
the Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ, that is, from God. The obvious
meaning of the words is that all honor, all dignity, all power attaching to
earthly fatherhood are a reflection of the Divine Fatherhood, of the
Fatherhood of God.

In view of this it can hardly surprise us that God, in a special com-
mandment of the Decalogue, ordered mankind to honor their fathers and
mothers, both their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, that
you may have a long life in the land which the Lord, your God, is
giving you.’’2

In what way does Holy Writ emphasize the dignity of fatherhood?
What obligation does the Fourth Commandment of God impose upon
children ?

THE BASIS OF THE FATHER’S DIGNITY. It should be well to
note that the basis of the father’s dignity, and therefore of the respect
that is owed him, is not to be found in his personality, or in the particular
qualities that characterize him as an individual. Rather it is found in his
office, or position, as father.

We honor him, therefore, for such reasons as the following: because,
under God, he represents authority in the home, an authority which, like
all other authority, is a reflection of the authority of God; because every
father, under God, is the divinely appointed head of the home; and again,
because the father, under Christianity, represents Christ in the home.
These are not things that depend on the father’s particular personality.
They are things that are a part of the very office of parenthood.

What is the basis of the father's dignity? Give some of the reasons why
the father of the family is honored.

1. Psalm 8, 6.
2. Exodus 20, 12.

22



THE FATHER’S DIGNITY ENHANCED UNDER CHRISTIANITY.
The dignity of the father, and therefore the respect due him, is founded in
nature itself. Actually the Fourth Commandment, “Honor thy father and
thy mother,” is but an expression in words of a law already written in the
hearts of men by the God of nature. Hence it cannot be surprising that
even pagan people who maintained a respect for the natural virtues, had
a high regard for fatherhood.

However, under Christianity, the dignity of fatherhood and respect
for the paternal office were greatly enhanced. One reason for his great
dignity has already been noted. It is the fact that, under Christianity, he
represents Christ in the home. That alone gives him the sublimest dignity.

In what is the dignity of the father founded? What effect has Christi-
anity had on the dignity of fatherhood and respect for the paternal office?

THE CHURCH INCULCATES RESPECT FOR FATHERHOOD.
As a matter of fact, the Church has always inculcated a profound respect
for paternity. She glories, as it were, in applying the revered title of
father as a special mark of distinction. Thus, her own head — the head of
Christ's “family” on earth, to use the expression of St. Paul — is esteemed
and revered by all her children under the title of the “Holy Father.”
Again, the teachers and writers of the Church of the early years of
Christianity are called by her the “Apostolic Fathers.” A title of particular
distinction conferred by her at times is that of “Father of the Church.”
Her bishops and priests are considered spiritual fathers by the faithful
and are respectfully addressed as “Father” by them.

In harmony with this same spirit, religious orders of men in the
Church — spiritual families we may well call them — almost universally
apply to their superiors, or heads, the title “Father.” Thus, they use the
terms: “Father Rector,” “Father Guardian,” “Father Provincial,” “Father
Prior,” “Father Abbot.”

Such are some of the ways in which the Church has gloried in the
past, and glories today, in applying the revered title of father as a special
mark of distinction. She has a profound respect for fatherhood.

Discuss the use of the title of father as a special mark of distinction in
the Church. Which are some of the titles that religious orders of men in the
Church apply to their superiors ?

THE DIGNITY OF CHRISTIAN MOTHERHOOD. Respect for
motherhood, like respect for fatherhood, is founded in nature. The Fourth
Commandment of God applies equally to both parents. Nevertheless, the
history of mankind shows a rather considerable lack of respect for mother-
hood, as well as for womankind in general, among pagan peoples. But it
also shows a noteworthy change in mankind’s attitude toward woman with
the coming of Christ upon this earth.

The story of that change is one of the most thrilling and consoling ones
in the annals of mankind. Its details are known to any well-instructed
Catholic. In brief, it tells how Christ, the God-man, when coming upon this
earth to redeem fallen mankind, chose for His Mother a woman whom He
made the greatest and the grandest of His creatures in heaven and on
earth. He, for her sake and in her, raised up womankind generally from

23



the degradation of paganism. He made her, as wife and mother, the partner
and equal of her husband and the heart of the family. He dignified all
motherhood, all womanhood, in Mary, the Mother of God.

Thus, Mary appeared to man as a person of beauty and dignity inde-
scribable. The serene light of her glory falling upon the rest of her sex,
transformed them in their own eyes and in the eyes of their brethren.
A new concept of womanhood was born upon earth. The sinless Madonna
became an object of virtue and the ideal and champion of womanly honor.

In what is respect for motherhood founded? What was the status of
motherhood

,
and of womankind in general, among pagans? How did Chris-

tianity bring about a noteworthy change in mankind's attitude toward
woman? Discuss Mary, the Mother of God, as the ideal and champion of
womanly honor.

THE ORIGIN OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME. It was then that there
appeared on this earth that most beautiful creation, the Christian home,
the unique sphere of woman that made her, in the capacity of mother,
the greatest power for good on earth, second only to the Church of God of
which she is the symbol. It was then that Christian woman rocking the
cradle in the home, and guiding the faltering steps of the young, became one
of the potentates of the world.

Chivalrous man honored that Christian woman. He was uplifted and
elevated by her. He gloried in referring to her under the honored titles of
wife and mother, of sister and daughter. The results were exceedingly
beneficial to man and woman, to the family and to all society.

Describe the position of the mother in the Christian home. What effect
has the new dignity of Christian woman had upon man?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Discuss with one or more of your friends, outside of the discussion

group, the great dignity of Christian marriage.

2. Practice great devotion to the Blessed Virgin, and be conscious of the
dignity of all motherhood, all womanhood, in Mary, the Mother of God.

24



V
THE HOME
the Child's Primeval School

The home has always been the child’s first and most important
school. Other schools have helped the home, but they have not been able
to take its place. Other teachers and instructors have assisted the parents
in their tasks of child training, but they have not been able fully to
substitute for them. -The home is the school of schools. The parent is the
teacher of teachers. That is how the Author of nature has disposed matters.
That is the view that the Church has always upheld.

We have a striking expression of this, for instance, from the pen of
the great American Churchman, James Cardinal Gibbons. “The home,” he
wrote, “is the primeval school. It is the best, the most hallowed, and the
most potential of all the academies; and the parent, especially the mother,
is the first, the most influential, and the most cherished of all teachers.
The education of the child should begin at the mother’s knee.”

In the education of the child, how do home and parents compare with
other schools and teachers? What did Cardinal Gibbons write regarding the
home as a school?

ALL-EMBRACING EDUCATION BY GOOD PARENTS. Mention has
already been made of the child’s religious training. But, profoundly impor-
tant as that unquestionably is, it does not represent the whole of his
education. That education must be all-embracing. It must extend to the
physical and mental, the social and emotional, as well as to the religious.
It must extend to body and soul, to mind and character, to heart and will.
It could be rightly argued, of course, that some phases of education are more
important than others. But the fact remains that all are important.

Not all parents are successful educators of their children. That is true

25



only of good parents, of parents who are truly zealous and who have properly
prepared themselves for their tasks. It cannot be assumed, therefore, that
a home, by the mere fact that it happens to be a home, will in some mys-
terious fashion prove itself an effective instrument for the training of
children. That is to say, it cannot be assumed that a home will produce
satisfactory results in the field of child training irrespective of all efforts

or ability on the part of the father and mother who preside over it. It will
do that only if the parents are properly prepared for their tasks of child
training in the home, and if they faithfully fulfill their duties toward their
little ones in this regard.

How extensive should the child's education be? What kind of parents
are successful educators of their children? Under what conditions will the
home produce satisfactory results in the field of child training?

SPECIAL PARENTAL TRAINING A NEED OF TODAY. Special
training for parents — parent education, so-called — has become a necessity
today. At all events, when parenthood was less difficult than it is in our
time, formal education or specific instruction and guidance from extra-
domestic sources as a preparation for child-training tasks was far less
essential. The home-school was reasonably successful without it.

Parental love, native intelligence, and Christian understanding, coupled
with reasonably favorable environmental circumstances, enabled many
fathers and mothers quite satisfactorily to fulfill their obligations toward
their children. Through normal contacts within the confines of the little
home world, the children gradually learned the lessons of life that prepared
them for the tasks of founding their own homes and rearing their own
families. Step by step they became equipped with the knowledge and
practice of homemaking, their training customarily ranging all the way
from the physical side of housekeeping to the varied aspects of child training.

In earlier days what enabled parents quite satisfactorily to fulfill their
obligations toward their children? How did children gradually learn the
lessons of life in the home?

RESULT OF CHANGED SOCIAL CONDITIONS. But social condi-
tions have changed over more recent decades, and one of the unfortunate
results that has followed is seen in the fact that the more formal type of
education carried on in the homes of the past has in no small measure
broken down. Particularly in our highly complex and constantly changing
urban civilization has family life become more involved, and the entire
matter of the child's education more difficult. Under the circumstances the
parental instinct and traditional customs no longer suffice for his guidance.

Apparently it was this situation that Pope Pius XII had in mind when,
in speaking to a group of mothers (and teachers) in 1941, he cautioned
them with these words: “It is not enough to be conscious of an obligation
and to have the desire to discharge it competently."

Obviously the Holy Father thought by these words to impress upon
those whom he was addressing the need for serious preparation on their
part for the difficult work of educating the child. Beyond a shadow of a
doubt, if parents are to meet their obligation in their field adequately and
successfully, it is necessary both that they take the task seriously and that

26



they devote to the subject of child training the thought and attention and
meticulous preparation that it demands.

What impact have changed social conditions had on family life and child
education? Quote from the address of Pope Pius XII to a group of mothers
and teachers in 1941. What was the Holy Father trying to impress upon
his audience?

MUCH NEW INFORMATION AVAILABLE TO PARENTS. In at
least one important regard, child training might well be better today than
it was in the past. Reference is made to the new knowledge that has been
provided in this field. Invaluable new material has come to parents through
the social and psychological sciences. Such is the case regarding the causes
of behavior in children and regarding the methods of moulding their conduct.

While it is true, of course, that those sciences deal with the natural
only, it must not be overlooked that grace works through nature. Hence
Catholic parents should eagerly avail themselves of the newer knowledge
provided by modern research, but taking care to add to it, and fuse into it,
the Catholic spirit and supernatural motives and means. Incidentally, some
appreciable advances have also been made in our day in methods of training
children in their religion.

No attempt can be made here to go in any detail into the vast field of
child training. Nor is there need for that. There is available today an
excellent popular literature on it. We mention, in passing, for instance,
the following publications of the Family Life Bureau of the National
Catholic Welfare Conference, Washington, D. C. : The Child’s World;
Parenthood; Childhood Religion; Your Baby’s Health; The Child and Prob-
lems of Today.

Discuss one reason why child training might well be better today than
in the past. How should parents make use of the new knowledge that is
available for them? Mention some of the publications of the Family Life
Bureau

,
N.C.W.C., in the field of child training.

THE STATE’S PLACE IN THE FIELD OF EDUCATION. There
are many things that parents must keep in mind today in regard to the
education of their children. Three of these are singled out here for special
mention because of their timeliness.

First of all, the Catholic parent should be informed about the place
that the State has in the field of education. At times there are governments
that seek to trespass on the rights of parents in this regard. Pope Pius XI
expressed the Church’s unbending view in the matter when he wrote as
follows in his Encyclical on the Christian Education of Youth: “The family
holds directly from the Creator the mission and hence the right to educate
the offspring, a right inalienable because inseparably joined to the strict
obligation, a right anterior to any right whatever of civil authority of the
State

;
and therefore inviolable on the part of any power on earth.”

Those words go to the heart of the matter of the relation of family and
State. They imply, in a nutshell, that the State exists for the family, and
not the family for the State. They imply that, although the State may
indeed insist on a measure of education for the child that is in harmony
with the common good of society, it may not force upon the child a particular

27



type of education. It is for the parents to decide the particular type of

education that is to be given him.

What did Pope Pius XI say about the mission and right of the family
to educate the offspring ? Discuss the relation of family and State, and their
respective rights in the field of education.

FURTHER CAUTIONS FOR PARENTS. Secondly, parents must
guard against excessively farming out their children, so to speak, to the
numerous public and private agencies that deal with children today.
Actually there is more danger in this country today from parents delegating
parental tasks too extensively to these agencies than there is from any
State encroachment on their rights towards their children’s education.

Finally, parents should keep in mind that, for truly effective child
training, contact between parent and child is absolutely essential. That is
difficult to bring about in our complex urban civilization today. But it
becomes quite impossible when both parents work away from home, or
otherwise absent themselves from it, leaving the child to the care of baby-
sitters or any number of child-caring agencies. The home is the child’s
primeval school. The parents are his first and irreplaceable teachers.

What caution should parents exercise in regard to the numerous agencies
that deal with children today? Discuss the necessity of contact between
parent and child for effective child training.

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. If you are blessed with children, strive to prepare yourself for the task

of teaching them, especially in matters of religion.

2. Fulfill conscientiously your serious duty to give religious instruction and
moral training to your children.

28



VI

THE PROPERTIES OF

MARRIAGE

W hen one considers the high purposes which God proposed
for marriage, notably the training of children, one cannot be surprised

that He should have assigned to it some very special properties. By a
property of marriage is meant a quality that cannot be dissociated from its
very concept as God instituted it for mankind. The Almighty gave marriage
two such essential qualities, unity and indissolubility.

What is meant by a property of marriage? What two special properties
has God assigned to marriage ?

UNITY AND INDISSOLUBILITY. By unity in marriage is meant
monogamy, or the fact that there can be but one husband and one wife.
By indissolubility is meant permanence of the marriage bond resulting
from the marriage contract, or the fact that it cannot be broken by human
power. Taken together the two properties constitute the basis of an un-
breakable bond. And an unbreakable bond is necessary for carrying out
effectively the two great purposes appointed it by Almighty God, namely,
the child’s proper training and the mutual assistance the two spouses owe
each other.

Pope Pius XI adverts to the matter of parental education in his
Encyclical on Christian Marriage: “Now it is certain that both by the law
of nature and of God,” he says, “this right and duty of educating their
offspring belongs in the first place to those who began the work of nature
by giving them birth, and they are indeed forbidden to leave unfinished
this work and so expose it to certain ruin. But in matrimony provision has
been made in the best possible way for this education of children that is so
necessary, for, since parents are bound together by an indissoluble bond,
the care and mutual help of each is always at hand.”

What is meant by unity in marriage? by indissolubility? Why is an
unbreakable marriage bond necessary? What did Pope Pius XI say in the
passage quoted?

29



THE UNITY OF MARRIAGE VINDICATED. It should require no
lengthy process of reasoning to show that polygamy, the opposite of
monogamy, or unity, in marriage, is forbidden by the natural law. Obviously
it tends to subvert the domestic peace and to divide conjugal love, factors
of most vital import to the marriage state. Of the two forms of polygamy,
namely polyandry, or a plurality of husbands wedded to one wife, and
polygyny, or a plurality of wives wedded to one man, the former is the
more baneful, since conjugal association of one woman with several men
is harmful even to the first element of the primary object of matrimony,
namely, the procreation of children.

What is 'polygamy? Show that it is forbidden by the natural law.
Distinguish between polyandry and polygyny.

UNITY OF MARRIAGE UPHELD IN BOTH OLD LAW AND NEW
LAW. In both the Old and the New Law is the unity of matrimony upheld.
At the very infancy of the human race, God proclaimed the unity of
marriage. He promulgated for all mankind through the lips of our common
father Adam the fundamental principle of marital relationship in this
concise statement : “. . . the two become one flesh/’1 Only two, therefore —
one man and one woman — are by God’s decree to constitute the conjugal
society. Furthermore, we learn from the pages of the Old Testament that
this law was generally observed in primitive times by the descendants of
Adam. After the deluge, however, in order to accelerate the propagation
of the human race, God made a temporary exception to the law, permitting
polygyny, or the union of one man with several wives, to both Jews and
Gentiles.

Under the New Law, however, that dispensation ceased. Christ
Himself, Incarnate God, made it clear that strict monogamy was to prevail
again. As a matter of fact, the natural law in this matter is so clear that
all civilized nations, and indeed many uncivilized tribes, regard monogamy
as the only lawful form of wedlock.

What does the Old Testament have to say about the unity of marriage ?
How was this law observed by the descendants of Adam? What about the
unity of marriage under the New Law?

INDISSOLUBILITY UNDER THE NEW LAW. Not so common,
however, is the quality of indissolubility of marriage. In fact, the Catholic
Church stands practically alone today in proclaiming that there is absolutely
no instance when the bond of a consummated Christian marriage can be
sundered by divorce. She continues relentlessly, in spite of all scorn and
protest, to teach without modification the doctrine of the indissolubility of
the marriage bond that she has ever taught since her institution by Jesus
Christ. It is well for the Catholic to know what this doctrine is in detail,
and what are the grounds on which it is based.

Our Divine Savior made it very evident that under the New Law the
principle of the indissolubility of the marriage tie was to prevail. Certainly
clear in this regard is the Gospel of St. Mark, which relates as follows the
words of Christ: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man put
asunder. . . . Whoever puts away his wife and marries another, commits
adultery against her; and if the wife puts away her husband, and marries

1. Genesis 2, 24.

30



another, she commits adultery.”2 The words of St. Luke (16, 18) are sub-

stantially the same.

What doctrine has the Church always taught in regard to the indissolu-
bility of marriage? How did Christ make it clear that under the New Law
the indissolubility of marriage was to prevail?

DIFFICULT PASSAGE IN ST. MATTHEW'S GOSPEL. The Gospel
of St. Matthew, however, contains a passage that offers some difficulty.
Thus, the ninth verse of chapter 19 reads as follows: “And I say to you,
that whoever puts away his wife, except for immorality, and marries an-
other, commits adultery.” At first sight the words might seem to imply
that Christ made an exception to the law of indissolubility by permitting
divorce to a married person whose partner had been guilty of infidelity.
However, careful study of the text shows that such an interpretation is
untenable. First of all, if this one particular text is to be interpreted as

granting an exception to the law in the case of adultery, how is the fact to
be explained that the texts of the other New Testament writers forbidding
divorce make no such exception?

Moreover, all scholars of the Scriptures admit that the text of St.
Matthew, taken alone, is ambiguous and is open to several interpretations.
One interpretation is this: There was a diversity of opinion among the
official teachers of the Jews whether divorce could be granted under the Old
Law for several reasons or only for one reason, namely, conjugal infidelity.
It was regarding this disputed interpretation of the Old Law that the
Pharisees consulted Christ, posing to Him the question, “Is it lawful for a
man to put away his wife for any cause?”3 The Savior simply answered
the question in the sense in which it had been asked. In doing so, He upheld
the stricter view that only adultery justified divorce under the Mosaic Law.
That law was still in force. Then, immediately afterward, when speaking
to His disciples, Christ promulgated His own law of indissolubility, allowing
no exception even in the case of adultery, and it is these words that are
related in the Gospels of Sts. Mark and Luke.

Such early writers of the Church as Clement of Alexandria, Origen,
St. Augustine, and St. Jerome uphold the view that Christian marriages
can never be dissolved, not even for the most serious transgressions against
conjugal fidelity. This indicates that such was the teaching of the Church
from the very beginning.

What difficulty is found in the passage from St. Matthew's Gospel?
Explain this passage in the light of other New Testament texts. Discuss one
interpretation which solves the difficulty found in chapter 19 of St. Matthew.
What is the significance of the teaching of early writers of the Church on
the indissolubility of Christian marriage?

TWO EXCEPTIONS. It must be noted, however, that not man, but
God Himself, the Supreme Legislator, who gave a dispensation from the
law of indissolubility under certain conditions to the Jewish people, made
two exceptions under the New Testament. One is the case referred to as the
Pauline privilege; the other, the case of an unconsummated Christian
marriage.

2. Mark 10, 9-12.
3. Matthew 19, 3.

31



The Pauline privilege is this: Two unbaptized persons contract a
lawful marriage. Later on, one of the two embraces the Christian faith
and is baptized. The other refuses to dwell any longer with the convert
to Christianity, or renders the practice of religion very difficult for him or
her. In such circumstances, St. Paul teaches (I Cor. 7, 12-16), the baptized
party “is not under bondage,” that is, he is permitted to contract another
marriage (with a Christian) and thus dissolve the previous marriage bond.

Which two exceptions to the law of indissolubility are made under
the New Testament? Discuss the Pauline privilege.

UNCONSUMMATED CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. As to an uncon-
summated Christian marriage, when adequate proof has been adduced
that there has been no marital intercourse, the Pope can dissolve the mar-
riage tie if there are good reasons for doing so. Tradition and the practice
of the Church testify that this power is vested in the Supreme Pontiff.

All this is something quite different, for instance, from what is known
as a declaration of nullity. Such a declaration is in no sense a divorce,
or dissolution of the marriage bond. It is simply a declaration by the
Church, based on careful investigation of the facts in the case, that no
marriage existed in the first place.

What power does the Pope have over unconsummated, Christian mar-
riage? What is a declaration of nullity?

SEPARATION AT TIMES PERMISSIBLE. The distinction between
a divorce and separation should be kept in mind. While the Church is
adamant in her stand against divorce, she teaches that the separation, or
living apart, of husband and wife, either for a time or permanently, may
be permissible. There must be grave reasons for this, and there is absolutely
no right on the part of either to contract another marriage. An example
of a grave reason would be infidelity on the part of a spouse. It is for the
Church to pass judgment in the reasons brought forward for a separation,
and Catholics should not separate permanently without her approval in the
case. As a general rule, the Church is opposed to separations. Hence, even
when grievous wrong has been done by one spouse to the other, she urges
the guilty one to repent and the innocent one to forgive.

Such a separation is not a divorce. The latter — that is, a dissolution
of the marital union that confers on either party or both the right to marry
again — is, according to the Church, forbidden by both the natural and
the positive law of God.

What is the difference between divorce and separation? Under what
conditions does the Church sometimes permit separation? What is her
general attitude toward separation?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. In your marriage life, practice at all times the fidelity, charity, patience,

and forbearance that will help you to preserve the two essential proper-
ties of Christian marriage, unity and indissolubility.

2. If any of your friends or acquaintances are threatening to make ship-
wreck of their marriage, pray for them and try to help them to compose
their differences.

32



VII

THE

MARRIAGE CEREMONY

The Church shows her recognition of the great dignity of
Christian marriage in a variety of ways. One of these ways is her beautiful
marriage ritual. Young folks looking forward to marriage should acquaint
themselves thoroughly with this ritual.

Three things must be distinguished in the marriage ceremony. First,
there is the rite by which the sacrament itself is administered. Then there
is the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass that follows immediately afterward.
Finally, there is the special Nuptial Blessing which is bestowed in the
course of the Mass.

What is recommended to young folks looking forward to marriage

?

What three things are to be distinguished in the marriage ceremony?

THE ADMINISTRATION OF THE SACRAMENT. A number of
different ceremonies can be distinguished in the ritual for the adminis-
tration of the sacrament of Matrimony. Thus, there is the reading of the
short exhortation the priest directs to the couple, the mutual consent given
by the contracting parties — the essence of the sacrament — the blessing
and conferring of the ring or rings, the blessing of the priest and his final
exhortation and prayer.

Catholics generally are fairly familiar with the words of exhortation
that the priest addresses to those about to be married as they kneel before
the altar on their wedding day. They remind the couple of the seriousness
of the situation and suggest some guiding thoughts to them that should
serve as a last-moment preparation for the step they are about to take. The
two do well to read the words carefully even far in advance of their

33



wedding day. The wording commonly used in the past has been slightly
changed in a more recent ritual. But it remains substantially the same.

Enumerate the different ceremonies that can be distinguished in the
ritual for the administration of the sacrament of Matrimony. What is the
gist of the words of exhortation that the priest addresses to the bridal
couple ?

THE ESSENTIAL MATTER OF CONSENT. Next come the all-
important matter of expressing consent to the marriage. In this connection
the priest who is officiating at the marriage, in the presence of two
witnesses, asks the man and woman separately whether they wish to be
united in the bond of marriage. By their simple answer, “I will,” the two
administer to each other the sacrament of Matrimony. The priest then says
these words: “I join you in Matrimony: In the name of the Father, and
of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.” He then sprinkles them with
holy water.

The words spoken by the priest, in his capacity of official witness for
the Church, bear witness to the fact that by the mutual consent of the two
the reception of the sacrament has been accomplished.

Describe the ceremony in which the bridal couple give their consent
to the marriage. What do the words spoken by the priest signify

?

THE RING CEREMONY. The foregoing is immediately followed by
the blessing and conferring of the ring. This is not infrequently referred
to as the ring ceremony. The ring symbolizes the bridal party’s conjugal
union. In some countries both spouses are given a ring. This has also
become fairly common practice in the United States over the past few
decades.

After the priest has read the words of the blessing and sprinkled the
ring with holy water, the bridegroom puts it on the ring finger of the
bride, saying, “With this ring I thee wed, and I plight unto thee my troth.”
If the double-ring ceremony is used, the bride puts the other ring on the
finger of the bridegroom, reciting the same words.

A different wording that is coming into use today is the following:
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Take
and wear this ring as a pledge of my fidelity.”

Finally, the priest makes over the two the Sign of the Cross, with
the usual accompanying words, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Ghost. Amen,” and then concludes with a few verses and
a prayer.

What is the ring ceremony, and what does the ring symbolize? Describe
the ring ceremony.

THE NUPTIAL MASS. All the foregoing takes place as the couple
stand or kneel at the foot of the altar, flanked by witnesses and other
attendants. Immediately following, they go, accompanied by their attend-
ants, to the places assigned them in the sanctuary. Then the celebrant begins
the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

34



There is a special Nuptial Mass for the occasion. This Mass illustrates
the supreme importance of marriage in the eyes of the Church. It is really
the only sacrament administered with a special Mass for the occasion.
Holy Orders is administered at Mass, but it has no special Mass strictly
speaking; the Mass of the day is celebrated and a few prayers are added
for those being ordained. But with Matrimony all this is different. Every
part of the Mass is a special prayer for the bridal couple. The only time
that the priest interrupts his own and the congregation’s preparation for
Holy Communion is to impart the solemn Nuptial Blessing in a wed-
ding Mass.

Where do the bridal couple usually assist at the Nuptial Mass? What
is so special about this Mass?

TEXT OF THE NUPTIAL MASS. It is well for a couple contem-
plating marriage to secure a copy of the Nuptial Mass in advance of the
wedding, and go over it carefully. The English text can easily be secured
in handy booklet form today. Since that is the case, it will not be quoted
here at any length. Only a few references to important parts will be made.

Thus, it might well be noted that the Epistle of the Mass is taken
from St. Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians, referred to elsewhere in these
lessons, in which the union of husband and wife in Christian marriage is
said to symbolize the union of Christ and His Spouse, the Church. As to
the Gospel, it is taken from St. Matthew and proclaims the properties of
the unity and indissolubility of marriage. “Therefore now they are no
longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no
man put asunder.” These words, recorded by the Evangelist, were originally
spoken by Our Divine Saviour Himself.

What is recommended to the bridal couple in advance of the wedding?
Comment on the Epistle of the Nuptial Mass; the Gospel.

HOPE AND TRUST IN GOD. The words of the Offertory of the
Nuptial Mass are these: “In Thee, O Lord, have I hoped. I said, Thou art
my God

;
my times are in Thy hands.” The words are plainly an expression

of hope and trust in God. And both hope and trust are necessary in Christian
marriage if, despite its many consolations and comforts, its hardships and
difficulties are always to be borne in true Christian fashion. The Secret of
the Mass makes specific mention of the holy bond of wedlock and is an
expression of resignation to God’s will. Similarly are all other parts of the
Mass adapted to suit the particular occasion. In other words, they are for
the bridal party.

As to the reception of the Holy Eucharist, it should be noted that
the Missal always assumes that the bride and groom will receive Com-
munion at their Nuptial Mass. However, reception of Holy Communion
is not an integral part of the sacrament of Matrimony. But the bridal pair
should receive It. In fact, while the universal law of the Church does not
demand it, the statutes and regulations of some dioceses of the United
States prescribe it. It is also quite customary for the witnesses to receive
Communion.

Quote the words of the Offertory of the Nuptial Mass. Of what are
these words an expression? Comment on the Secret of the Nuptial Mass.

35



What is to be said about reception of Holy Communion by the bride and
groom? by the witnesses?

THE NUPTIAL BLESSING. As the Nuptial Mass immediately follows
the reception of the sacrament of Matrimony, so the special sacramental
known as the Nuptial Blessing is incorporated in the Mass itself. This
gives a striking unity to the entire marriage ceremony.

This solemn rite consists of three meaningful prayers, followed by
the priest’s blessing. Two of the prayers are said after the Pater Noster
of the Mass. The third is recited over the husband and wife just before
the last blessing of the Mass and follows an exhortation, given the two
parties by the officiating priest, to remain faithful to the obligations they
have assumed in marriage.

The first prayer asks God’s help for the two who have been united
in the holy institution of marriage which God Himself has founded. The
second draws a detailed picture of what the life of a truly Christian wife
should be. The third, read just preceding the last blessing of the Mass,
calls upon “the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob”
to fulfill His blessing in them.

While the Nuptial Blessing is ordinarily given on the day of the
marriage, there are cases in which it is conferred long after the marriage
has been entered upon. For instance, if a non-Catholic becomes a Catholic
after a mixed marriage with a Catholic, the Nuptial Blessing can and
should be given. While it does not refer to the substance or validity of the
marriage, it is a part of the Church’s solemn rite and ceremony. It does
much to show the high esteem in which wedded life is held by the Church.

Of what does the Nuptial Blessing consist, and when are the prayers
of this blessing said in the Nuptial Mass? Comment on each of the three
prayers. May the Nuptial Blessing be given at any other time than in the
Nuptial Mass itself?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Read the full text of the Nuptial Blessing which is included in the

prayers of the Nuptial Mass.

2. Ask God to help you to cooperate at all times with the special graces of
the sacrament of Matrimony.

36



VIII

THE HOME
a Church in Miniature

As noted in an earlier lesson, the Catholic family is a replica
in miniature of the Mystical Body of Christ. Since such is the case, it is
very fitting that the house in which the family lives should resemble a
church in miniature.

In the early years of Christianity the home was actually referred to
as a little church. Thus St. John Chrysostom applied to it the Greek
equivalent of the English term for a little church, namely, ecclesiola.
Significantly, St. Benedict, who was almost a contemporary of St. John
Chrysostom, applied much the same term to the home of his religious,
namely, the monastery. He called it a “house of God.”

What should the Christian home resemble? What term did St. John
Chrysostom apply to the home? What did St. Benedict call the home of
his religious?

MAKING THE HOME A HOUSE OF GOD. Particularly in the Ages
of Faith that followed, did Christian families in reality make of their
homes little churches. Prayers and religious rituals therein, the father
leading the way and all the other members participating, were common.
Unfortunately in our own day such practices in the home have been more
or less neglected by many. They should be zealously restored again. That
is, the Christian’s home should again be made a house of God.

Among the many ways of doing this the following would seem particu-
larly deserving of emphasis: restoring to the family hearth the practice
of using religious expressions; restoring the use of sacramentals to the
home; celebrating religious anniversaries, or milestones, in the family
circle; adapting the religious life of the family to the seasons and feasts

37



of the liturgical year. Attention will be devoted to the first three of these
in the remainder of the lesson. The fourth will be considered in the lesson
following.

How did Christian families in the Ages of Faith make of their homes
little churches ? What is to be said of such practices in our own day?
Which are some of the ways of making the home a little church?

RELIGIOUS EXPRESSIONS AND SACRAMENTALS IN THE
HOME. Using religious expressions in the family circle can do much to
make of the home a house

-
of God. Such expressions are, as a matter of

fact, still found among many foreign peoples — among the Italians and
Poles, French and Germans, Spaniards and Portuguese, Irish and others.
Common examples of them are the following: “Praised be Jesus Christ,”
“God bless you,” “Thanks be to God,” “If God wills,” “Our Lady, help me.”
These have real spiritual significance. They keep the thought of God to the
fore in the daily life of the home, thereby serving as an effective antidote
for the deadly poison of secularism in the family circle.

The sacramentals, or so-called “little sacraments,” should definitely
have a place in conjunction with home life. There are a number of reasons
for this. First of all, many of them have a direct bearing on family life.
Furthermore, they are a relatively simple means of union between altar and
home. Again, they are so many media for channeling from the one
great spiritual reservoir, given into the Church's keeping by Christ, the
living and transforming waters of grace from the Savior's fountains. Then,
too, they are simple but powerful means of counteracting secularism.

Give examples of religious expressions that are still used in the homes
of many foreign peoples. What effect do they have? Why should sacra-
mentals have a place in conjunction with home life?

EXAMPLES OF SACRAMENTALS FOR HOME LIFE. Specifically,
sacramentals are blessings or blessed articles. Thus, they are, for instance,
the blessing the priest gives, the blessing we give ourselves as we devoutly
make the Sign of the Cross, the blessing parents give their children. They
are holy water, the blessed medal we may wear or have in the home or in
our auto, the blessed pictures on the walls of the home. They are the
wedding ring blessed by the Church on the day it is placed on the bride’s
finger before the altar.

There are three different blessings for the Catholic home itself. They
are the ordinary blessing given it when it is first occupied by the family,
the more solemn blessing given it with Easter water on Holy Saturday,
and the so-called three Kings’ blessing given in conjunction with the Feast
of the Epiphany.

Not only the house, but also its various appurtenances can be blest.
For instance, there are special blessings for the kitchen, for the bridal
chamber, for the room of the father and mother. So, too, are there blessings
for food, for medicine, and other household items.

What are sacramentals? Give examples of sacramentals for home life.
What three blessings are there for the Catholic home itself? Mention some
special blessings for appurtenances in the home.

38



BLESSINGS FOR MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY. Then, too, there
are special blessings for members of the family, particularly for the child,
the primary purpose of the family. There is also one for mother and child
together, and one for the pregnant mother. The words in all these are
beautiful and highly significant. For instance, in bestowing the last-
mentioned blessing, the Church prays “that the hand of Thy mercy may
assist her delivery and her child may come to the light of day without harm,
be kept safe for the holy birth of Baptism, serve Thee always in all things,
and attain to everlasting life.”

Particularly significant, too, is the parental blessing. This may already
be given immediately following the birth of a child, the father and mother
each sprinkling the infant with holy water and reciting these words : “May
the Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, bless you, my child, for
time and eternity, and may this blessing remain forever with you. Amen.”
Very properly is the blessing repeated by the parents after the child’s
rebirth in Baptism.

Furthermore, this inspiring practice should be continued as the child
advances in years under the parents’ care. He should be blest, for instance,
before he retires in the evening, or when he leaves the home, going into the
dangers of the streets or on a considerable journey. Simple as the practice
is, it both lends dignity to fatherhood and motherhood and does much to
cultivate mutual respect between parents and children.

Discuss the blessing which the Church gives to the pregnant mother.
What form may the parents use in blessing the infant immediately after
birth, and again after Baptism ? Mention other occasions on which parents
should bless their children.

OBSERVING RELIGIOUS FAMILY MILESTONES. The observance
of religious anniversaries, or milestones, in the family is also a means for
making of the home a little church. There are many of these that deserve
to be celebrated — marriage, Baptism, First Communion, patron saints’
days, etc. However, some are more important than others. Certainly, since
marriage is the basis of the family, wedding anniversaries are important
and should be celebrated. Hence, the day on which the parents received the
sacrament of Matrimony, no matter what the anniversary, should be the
occasion for family rejoicing and for some special religious observances
in common for the members.

For example, the family members might very fittingly attend Mass
together and receive Communion as a group. Again, the anniversary could
be made an occasion for a few words to the children about the character
of Christian marriage and about the liturgy of the wedding Mass and cere-
mony. An ever-increasing understanding of these from early childhood in
the home should do much to give Catholic young folks a true realization of
the dignity of Christian marriage and a reverent attitude toward Christian
fatherhood and motherhood.

Then, too, the anniversary can be made the occasion for putting before
the children some thoughts on vocation. Thus, the parents can, in speaking
of their own vocation, contrast it with the religious life and the priesthood.
It is said that the first seeds of vocation are normally planted in the home.
The marriage anniversary of the father and mother affords a ready oppor-
tunity for planting such a seed.

39



Which are some of the religious anniversaries that would be celebrated
in the home? How may the wedding anniversary be fittingly observed?
What may be done on the wedding anniversary to plant the first seeds of
vocation in the hearts of the children?

OTHER RELIGIOUS CUSTOMS IN THE HOME. Every home-church,
too, should have either the Sacred Heart enthroned on the hearth, or, at
least, have a little altar or shrine there. In other words, a place should
be provided where the family can kneel and pray together.

And so there are still other religious customs admirably suited to the
home, or that can be suited to it. Certainly this is true of such daily devo-
tions in common as the recitation of morning and evening prayers, grace
before and after meals, and the Angelus. These, too, like other religious
customs, help make of the home a church in miniature and keep from the
hearth the spirit of secularism.

Mention some other religious customs that help make the home a
church in miniature. What other effect does the observance of such cus-
toms have?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Develop the habit of using appropriate religious expressions and sacra-

mentals in your home.

2. Make it a practice to observe significant religious anniversaries of mem-
bers of your family.

40



IX

THE LITURGICAL YEAR

AND THE FAMILY

One of the most effective ways of making the home a church in
miniature is the observance within its walls of the liturgical year. The
family can find almost endless material for religious observances in the
home in the feasts and seasons of that cycle.

By the liturgical year is meant the sacred cycle of solemnities by which
we commemorate each year the work of Redemption wrought by Our
Divine Savior. It consists of such seasons as Advent, Lent, Christmastide,
Eastertide, and such feasts as those of Our Lord, His Blessed Mother, and
the saints.

Name one of the most effective ways of making the home a church
in miniature. What is the liturgical year

?

FAMILY OBSERVANCE OF THE LITURGICAL YEAR. Just as the
Church lives and breathes, so to speak, in the cycle of the liturgical year,
so should the church in miniature, the home, do the same. Parents and
children will do so, first of all, if they participate, insofar as possible as a
family group, with their fellow parishioners whenever the mysteries of
Redemption are publicly and officially celebrated in their parish church.

But they should also do so by special devotional practices in their own
little church, or home. This they can do by careful preparation for the
seasons and feasts of the church year, and by a variety of religious prac-
tices in the spirit of those seasons and feasts. By this they will bring
about a blessed wedding between altar and home and will also lend variety
to the prayer life of the family.

How may members of the family best participate in liturgical functions
in their parish church? What good results will come from devotional
practices in the home in keeping with the seasons and feasts of the church
year?

41



OBSERVING THE ADVENT SEASON IN THE HOME. The church
year begins with the Advent season. Advent means “the coming.” The
season, beginning, not January 1, as does the regular or chronological year,
but with the fourth Sunday before Christmas and extending to the high
feast of Christmas itself, is a time set aside for preparation for the coming
of Our Lord on Christmas Day, just as Lent, for instance, is a time of
preparation for Easter, or the Feast of Our Lord’s Resurrection.

One particular feature of the Advent season, well suited to the home,
is the Advent wreath. This has come so much into prominence the past
few years

.
that printed material regarding it is readily available. Hence

space need hardly be given it here.

Perhaps not so prominent today, however, though well known in the
past, is the Advent candle. This is a large candle that is put into a candle-
stick which is covered with white silk. It is meant to symbolize the Im-
maculate Mother from whom came the Light of the World, Christ Our Savior.
It serves, therefore, as an eloquent reminder of the Incarnation of the
Son of God, born of the Virgin Mary.

When does Advent begin and end
,
and what is its purpose? Can you

describe the Advent wreath and tell how it is used in the home? What is
the Advent candle, and whom does it symbolize?

CHRISTMAS IN THE HOME. The Advent season is immediately
followed by Christmas. This feast gives particularly rich opportunities for
religious observances in the family circle. The crib should be the center of
attention in the home at this time. But candles are also in place. First of
all, there should be a large candle burning before the crib, reminding that
Christ, the Light of the World, is now with us. From this candle, smaller
candles placed before the crib, one for each member of the family, may
then be lighted. This is to signify that from Him who is the Light of the
World all light comes.

A number of beautiful rituals for a Christmas observance in the home
have been suggested. These contain several or all of the following practices

:

the singing of a Christmas hymn by the family members; the reading of
the Gospel and Oration of one of the Christmas Masses; the recitation of
the Creed by all; the singing of another appropriate hymn. This might
well be carried out at the family Christmas crib on the eve of the feast,
and then be followed immediately by an expression of Christmas good wishes
and the bestowal of gifts.

How may candles be used at the crib in the home, and what is their
significance? Mention some of the beautiful rituals that have been sug-
gested for Christmas observance in the home.

OBSERVANCE OF THE FEAST OF ST. JOHN. The Feast of St.
John, Apostle and Evangelist, which falls on the second day after Christmas,
and is therefore well within the Christmas season, has long been celebrated
in the home by some of the peoples of Europe, notably the Germans. St.
John is known as the beloved disciple of Our Lord, and the observance of
his feast in homes takes on the semblance of a love feast.

The ritual observed is the following very simple one. Wine will be

42



blest “in honor of St. John” at the morning Mass and taken to the home.
Before the main meal of the day the father fills the loving cup, or goblet,
with it, and as it is then passed from member to member, each is greeted
with the words: “Drink the love of St. John, the Apostle . . . And where
charity is and love, there is God.” Or the father may simply raise the goblet
with the expression: “I give you the love of St. John,” the mother replying,
“I thank you for the love of St. John.”

The words “where charity is and love, there is God,” used in the
first-mentioned greeting, form the opening line of one of the most beautiful
hymns of the Holy Week observance. It is referred to as Ubi Caritas (where
charity is), after the first two words of the Latin version of the hymn. It
is highly popular among the German peoples, and is used by them both as a
wedding song and as a family prayer.

Among other feasts of the Christmas season that are distinguished by
family religious observances among some peoples are Epiphany, the Holy
Family, and Candlemas. The practices associated with them serve to culti-
vate a religious spirit on the part of the family members and to keep the
spirit of secularism from the home hearth.

When does the Feast of St. John occur, and what is the nature of the
home observance of his feast? Describe the ritual followed in this observ-
ance. Whence come the words “where charity is and love, there is God”?
Name other feasts of the Christmas season that are distinguished by family
religious observances.

LENTEN SEASON OBSERVANCES. The season of Lent also offers
opportunities for religious practices suited to the home and family.
Particularly is that true of Holy Week, the closing week of the Lenten
season. Shrove Tuesday, the day preceding the opening of the penitential
season, already presents such an opportunity. Very fittingly might the
prayer which is said by the Church after the bestowal of ashes on Wednesday
be said by the family on that evening. It is a prayer for grace in inaugurat-
ing the holy season of fasting.

The liturgy of the Church for Holy Week is unusually rich. That, of
course, cannot come as a surprise, portraying, as it does, such outstanding
events of the church year as the institution of the Blessed Sacrament, the
Passion and death of Our Divine Savior, and His glorious Resurrection
from the dead. Family members should attend the church services of these
days insofar as possible. But there are observances for the home, too. These
can do much to keep the family members in the spirit of this sacred season.

On Good Friday, for instance, the home should be characterized by
peace and quiet. This should particularly be the case from noon to three
o’clock, if the members are not in the church attending the Tres Ores
services held in remembrance of Our Lord’s sufferings and death. The
time may very fittingly be spent in prayer and meditation and spiritual
reading. Furthermore, as the altar is stripped in the church, so the table
in the home may well be left bare of all cover for the meals of the day.

What opportunity does the season of Lent offer for religious practices
suited to the home and family? Why is the liturgy of the Church for Holy
Week unusually rich? Discuss the fitting observance of Good Friday in
the home.

43



EASTER AND PENTECOST. On Easter, too, there are observances
suited for the home. In preparing for the festive Easter Sunday meal, for
instance, effort may well be centered, at least if there is a budding artist
in the home, in decorating Easter eggs with pictures of an Easter lamb,
the Risen Savior, and the Blessed Mother.

In preparation for the Feast of Pentecost, the family may fittingly
include novena prayers in honor of the Holy Ghost in their evening prayers,
begging the Holy Spirit to come, with His sevenfold gifts, and sanctify the
members of the family. Many beautiful prayers for such a novena can be
found in the Mass texts for the Vigil of Pentecost, for the feast itself, and
for its octave.

The customs mentioned in the foregoing may not all fit into every
family circle. However, a sufficient number of them have been mentioned
to insure a satisfactory selection for any and every home. There are still
others that have not been mentioned. Furthermore, a variety of adaptations
is possible and feasible. Hence no family should find difficulty in finding
suitable ones to enable its members to make of the home in a real sense a
church in miniature, and to live in the spirit of Holy Mother Church
throughout the entire ecclesiastical year.

Comment on home observance of the Easter festival. How may the
family prepare for the Feast of Pentecost ? Besides the customs mentioned
in this chapter

,
are others available for the home?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Plan to observe in your home the principal seasons and feasts of the

liturgical year.

2. Make a special effort to Christianize the family observance of great
religious feasts that are often celebrated by the world in a secular and
even pagan manner; e.g., Christmas and New Year’s Day.

44



X

THE HOME
a School of the Virtues

Almighty God, in His designs for mankind, has attached
many wonderful compensations to faithful and successful family life. Such,
for instance, are the joys of parenthood. But, wonderful as are these natural
compensations, one must not lose sight of the supernatural, the spiritual,
as it relates to family living. Family life is meant not only to be a source
of natural joys and happiness. It is also, and indeed more so, meant to be
a means of obtaining happiness eternal, of working out our eternal salvation.

In this connection it is well that Christian spouses often recall, from
the earliest days of the founding of their homes, that the family is a school
of the virtues. Virtuous living is necessary for the attainment of the end
for which God created man. In fact, the practice of the supernatural virtues
is necessary for the attainment of that end. The reason for this is that the
end for which God destined man is a supernatural one, and can be attained
only by supernatural means. The more genuinely virtuous we are, the greater
will be our reward in heaven.

What are some of the compensations that God has attached to faithful
and successful family life? Why is it important for Christian spouses to
keep in mind that the family is a school of the virtues?

DOMESTIC VIRTUES. Some virtues are so closely associated with
family life that they might be called the “domestic” virtues. Such are, for
instance, obedience, chastity, patience, and charity. But all virtues can be
said to be in a very considerable measure associated with family life. All
can be practiced there. All can be taught there. In other words, the family
is a highly important medium for virtuous living.

Many and ready-made opportunities to practice acts of virtue are nor-

45



mally offered in the family. Its members should make good use of them.
Thus, instead of perhaps being disheartened when occasions or opportunities
for the practice of virtue present themselves, or even force themselves upon
them, they should welcome them. For instance, when there is something to
make them impatient, they should welcome the opportunity to practice the
virtue of patience. Again, when there is privation, they should gladly make
of it an occasion for the practice of moderation ; or when there is humilia-
tion, they should accept it as an opportunity for the practice of humility.

Name some of the “domestic” virtues. Why is it said that all virtues
are associated with family life ? Give examples of ready-made opportunities
to practice virtue in the home.

GRACE AND THE PRACTICE OF VIRTUE. It was said at the
beginning of this lesson that the practice of the supernatural virtues is
necessary for the attainment of the end for which God created man. It
should be recalled in this connection that supernatural acts of virtue cannot
be practiced without grace. They are beyond our natural powers. All powers
to practice them come from God. Not only are the virtues, or faculties them-
selves, infused into the soul by Him, but the individual is also dependent on
His actual graces in order to use these powers rightly; that is, to perform
acts of virtue. Hence he must constantly seek these graces. Prayer and the
sacraments are the ordinary channels for this. We cannot live a super-
natural life without these. On the other hand, with their diligent use, all
can expect to make progress in all the virtues.

We cannot possibly expect to treat all the virtues here. The field is too
immense. In the remainder of this lesson we shall discuss the virtues gen-
erally; in the next we shall devote attention to a number of specific ones,
making application to home life in each case, by way of example.

Why is grace necessary for the practice of supernatural acts of virtue ?
Which are the ordinary channels of God's grace? What will he discussed in
the remainder of this chapter? in the next chapter?

DEFINITION, ORIGIN, AND MAJOR CATEGORIES. A virtue can
be defined as a habit, or permanent disposition, which inclines the individual
to do good or avoid evil. This definition makes clear, and rightly so, that a
virtue and a virtuous act are not one and the same thing. A virtue is more
than a virtuous act. It is a habit or endowment, a sort of faculty of the soul
or abiding disposition to act.

Some virtues are infused. For example, the virtue of faith is infused
at Baptism. Other virtues are acquired. We acquire the virtue of patience,
for instance, by repeated acts of patience. Again, we acquire, or at least
develop, the virtue of humility by repeated acts of humility.

The major categories into which the virtues are customarily divided
are the theological, the cardinal, and the other moral virtues. We say the
“other” moral virtues because the cardinal virtues are at the same time
moral virtues. Hence, really all are reducible to theological and moral virtues.

Define a virtue. Distinguish between infused and acquired virtues.
Into what major categories are the virtues customarily divided?

46



THEOLOGICAL AND MORAL VIRTUES. The theological virtues
have God as their immediate material and formal object. They are the vir-
tues that relate to God, that, as was said, have God for their object. They
are these three: faith, hope, and charity. In other words, they are belief
in God, hope in Him, and love of Him.

The moral virtues, on the other hand, do not have God, or the Creator,
for their immediate object, but some created good. They are concerned with
the means whereby we tend to God. They are called moral virtues because
they dispose us to lead good and upright lives. They do so by aiding us to
treat persons and things in the right way. By doing that, of course, we
press on toward God. Hence, ultimately God is also the object of these
virtues.

We apply the term cardinal virtues to certain of the moral virtues, not
because they are the chief or most important ones, but because all the other
moral virtues depend on them. The term comes from the Latin word “cardo,”
which means a hinge. Prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance, there-
fore, are four hinges, so to speak, from which hang all the other virtues or,
let us say, from which flow all the other moral virtues. For example, there
are a whole group of moral virtues that are linked with, or that flow from,
the cardinal virtue of justice.

What is the immediate material and formal object of the theological
virtues ? Name the theological virtues. Why are the moral virtues so-called?
Which are the cardinal virtues

,
and why are they so-called?

MEANS OF CULTIVATING THE VIRTUES. There are a number of
effective means for cultivating acts of virtue. These are chiefly the follow-
ing : meditation

;
actual practice

;
examination of conscience — more specifi-

cally, what is known as the particular examen
;
the practice of mortification

;

the use of the means of grace.

It should be obvious that meditating upon virtue, that is, thinking upon
its worth and beauty, its advantages and necessity, leads one to love it, and
to strive to acquire it — in a word, to practice it.

Actual practice of virtuous acts is definitely a means of acquiring virtue.
Here one sees the application of the saying “Practice makes perfect/’ By
repeating virtuous acts we acquire ease and facility and steadiness in their
practice. We acquire virtuous habits.

Which are the chief effective means for cultivating acts of virtue?
Discuss meditation; actual practice of the virtues.

EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE. A regular check on ourselves will
show us how we stand with regard to the practice and acquisition of virtue.
This, of course, should be accompanied by a resolution to do better when we
find reason to believe that we are not doing as well as we should.

The particular examen, so-called, is an even more effective means in
this regard. This type of examination focuses attention for some time every
day, or even over a period of weeks or months, upon one particular virtue or
its opposite vice, and calls for a persistent and intensive effort to develop
the former and eradicate the latter before going on to another virtue or
vice. This particular type of examination is undoubtedly more effective than

47



a general or rambling type. One will usually get much further by resolving
to practice a specific virtue than by resolving to be more virtuous generally.
The practice of the particular examen is common in religious communities.
But it should not be limited to them. It would be very much in place in the
home.

Discuss the examination of conscience as a means for cultivating virtue.
How is the particular examen made ? How does it compare in effectiveness
with the general examination of conscience ? Where is the particular examen
commonly practiced?

MORTIFICATION AND USE OF THE MEANS OF GRACE. Unques-
tionably mortification is also a great aid to cultivating virtues. By remov-
ing obstacles to virtue, mortification lends facility to its practice. By fre-
quently denying himself things that are innocent and lawful, the individual
becomes able, with relative ease, to deny himself things that are forbidden
and unlawful.

Certainly faithful use of the means of grace contributes to the effective
practice of virtuous acts, giving us, as grace does, supernatural aid to that

end.

In what way does mortification aid in the cultivation of the virtues?
How does grace help us to practice virtue?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. In your family life make a sincere effort to practice the virtues, especially

the so-called “domestic” virtues.

2. Form the habit of making a particular examen of conscience each day.

48



XI

THE

THEOLOGICAL VIRTUES

IN FAMILY LIFE

By way of examples of specific virtues that should be prac-
ticed in family life, attention will be devoted in this lesson to the three

theological virtues, namely, faith, hope, and charity. Logically we take the
fundamental virtue of faith first, inquiring into its meaning, pointing out
some of the opportunities for its practice in the home, and noting some of
its compensations.

Faith is a virtue by which we firmly believe all the truths that God has
revealed. While it is an infused virtue, one must nevertheless practice acts
of faith. Certainly without that, faith will not remain strong and firm. In
other words, this virtue must be exercised. It must be professed and prac-
ticed.

Which virtues will be treated in this lesson? Into what points shall we
inquire in regard to the fundamental virtue of faith? What is faith, and
why must this virtue be exercised?

LIVELY FAITH IN THE HOME. The example of faith on the part
of parents means much to a child. Hence practices like the following should
be observed by them

:
prayer and other religious devotions within the family

circle; attendance at Mass and reception of the Holy Eucharist as a family
unit ; the presence of religious articles — reminders of faith — in the home

;

the use of religious expressions in the family circle
; the use of sacramentals

in the home.

A lively faith in the home carries with it many rewarding compen-
sations. Beyond a doubt, the misfortunes and heartbreaks of life are borne
far more easily in the home characterized by faith than in one in which its
benign and strengthening influence is not felt. When sickness and poverty

49



enter the home of faith, though pain indeed be experienced, its keen edge
is very considerably dulled by hope, and by the knowledge that even God’s
chastisements are accompanied by love. Then, too, in the solemn hour of
death, faith mitigates the pain of dying in such a home and brings great
consolation to those who remain behind. Thus, the home of faith has mani-
fold compensations which others do not have.

Enumerate some of the religious practices by which parents may give
an example of faith to their children. Give some examples of how faith
makes its benign and strengthening influence felt in the home.

HOPE AND ITS PRACTICE IN THE HOME. Hope is a virtue that
leads us confidently to place our trust in God, and to do so because of His
almighty power and His infinite goodness and promises. By this virtue we
hope to obtain from God life everlasting and the means needed to attain it.
As we pray in the Act of Hope

:

“O my God, relying on Thy almighty power
and infinite mercy and promises, I hope to obtain pardon of my sins, the
help of Thy grace and life everlasting, through the merits of Jesus Christ,
my Lord and Redeemer.”

Left to ourselves we have little reason indeed for hope. But, relying on
God’s power and mercy and promises, as the prayer says, we have every
reason for hope. He can and will help us if we confidently ask it of Him.

Zealous Christian parents will be characterized by the virtue of hope.
They will not succumb, on the one hand, to despair of God’s mercy, and, on
the other, to presumption of His mercy. They will confidently place their
trust in God. Such parents, too, will strive diligently to instil this virtue into
their little ones. They can do this by giving the Act of Hope a prominent
place in the prayers of the family. Again they can do so by prayers in the
home for deceased members of their own immediate family and those of
their wider family relationship. Such prayers are a beautiful expression of
supernatural hope, a hope built on the other two theological virtues, namely,
faith and charity.

What is the theological virtue of hope? What is the basis for our hope
in God? Discuss the practice of hope in the home.

THE THEOLOGICAL VIRTUE OF LOVE. In love we have, as St.
Paul teaches, the greatest of the three theological virtues. We define super-
natural love as a virtue by which we love God for His own sake, and our
neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.

Since we are really brought into being for the purpose of loving God,
it should be the holy ambition of everyone to increase this virtue constantly
in his soul. This is a most important consideration. Ever greater and
greater love means ever closer nearness to God, greater friendship with Him,
greater merit, and eventually greater glory in heaven.

Spiritual writers emphasize four particular ways of increasing love in
the soul. They are: 1) striving for more perfect knowledge of God;
2) striving for greater purity of heart and detachment from creatures;
3) striving for the gradual purification of our love of God; 4) frequent exer-
cise of charity, or the performance of acts of love of God. A few words
about each will follow.

50



What is the theological virtue of love? Why should everyone wish to
increase this virtue constantly in his soul? What four ways of increasing
love in the soul are emphasized by spiritual writers ?

INCREASING LOVE IN THE SOUL — 1.1. Striving for more perfect
knowledge of God. The better a good is known to us, the more lovable it
becomes to us. And God is infinite good. He is, as we say in the Act of
Love, all-good and worthy of all love. It is really the profound knowledge of
God in heaven on the part of the blessed that makes their love for Him so
full and overflowing. Hence we on this earth should strive to know Him
more and more. To this end we should meditate on His perfections — on His
goodness and power and mercy and the like. We should carefully avoid
centering all our attention on earthly interests and pursuits.

2. Striving for greater purity of heart and detachment from creatures.
It is self-evident that the more we divest ourselves of self, and the more we
diminish in our hearts the love of created things, the more we grow in love
of our Creator. It is preoccupation with self and the things of this world
that disputes our heart with God.

Why should we strive for more perfect knowledge of God? Discuss
striving for greater purity of heart and detachment from creatures.

INCREASING LOVE IN THE SOUL— II. 3. The gradual purification
of our love of God. By the gradual purification of our love of God, or the
gradual perfecting of our love, is meant a striving to love God for Himself,
and not, for instance, because that gives us some satisfaction or because we
expect a reward in return. As we say in the Act of Love: “O my God, I love
Thee above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because Thou art all-
good and worthy of all love."

U. The actual practice of love. In the actual practice of love, or the
performance of deeds of love, we have the fulfillment of the dictum “Practice
makes perfect." Every act of love disposes the soul toward the increase of
love. Every fresh act makes the heart more ready to break forth into a
further act of love. Hence this love or perfection is really open to unlimited
development.

What is meant by the gradual purification of our love of God? What
is accomplished by the performance of deeds of love ?

LOVE OF NEIGHBOR. The second part of the law of love, the love
of neighbor, is also very important insofar as the family is concerned. By
neighbor, of course, we do not just mean the person living next door. Indeed,
we mean, first of all, those of our own household. In its full meaning, of
course, it extends to all mankind. Recalling our definition of love, we find
that it is a virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake,
and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God. Love of neighbor is, like
love of God, a theological virtue, if we love God Himself in our neighbor,
that is, if we love our neighbor for God’s sake.

We are reminded in this connection of the words of Holy Writ: “As
long as you did it for one of these, the least of My brethren, you did it for
Me."1 It would not be genuine charity if we loved our neighbor only for his

1. Matthew 25. 40.

51



own sake or because of the services he may render us. Only when we see
God in him can we give him a love that is supernatural. Only when we see
the interests of God and the will of God in our neighbor can we love him
with a love that is, as we say, “like unto” the love we owe God.

What is the meaning of the term “neighbor” in the second part of the
Act of Love ? What is the proper motive for love of neighbor?

THE FAMILY A GREAT SOURCE OF LOVE. The rightly constituted
family is a great source of love. Indeed for the great majority of mankind
there is in it greater opportunity for the practice of the fundamental Chris-
tian law of man than in any other sphere of life. It is safe to say that by far
the greatest amount of love and unselfishness in this world is found in that
divinely constituted wellspring of love, the family.

Family life calls for innumerable daily compromises and sacrifices. It
calls for the constant shouldering of responsibilities and hardships for the
common good of the whole group. And if that sacrifice of self for the good
of those around us in the home is made out of love of God, then indeed we
have the fulfillment of the great Christian law of love. The members of such
a family should be well on the way of working out their eternal salvation.

Where do we find the greatest amount of love and unselfishness in this
world? Discuss the fulfillment of the great Christian law of love in family
life.

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Make a special effort to practice faith, hope, and charity in your family

life.

2. Do all you can, by prayer and good example, to make the law of love
operative in American life, regardless of creed, race, or color.

52



XII

THE

CHURCH’S LEGISLATIVE

POWER OVER MATRIMONY

In the case of two baptized persons the contract of marriage
and the sacrament of Matrimony are one and the same thing. The contract
is the sacrament. Hence, whenever two baptized persons contract a valid
marriage, they receive the sacrament of Matrimony.

There are two corollaries that follow from this identification of contract
and sacrament. One is, that the same individuals who make the contract also
administer the sacrament. That such is the case is the definite teaching o£
the Church. A second is, that the authority to legislate for and to pass
judgment on the marriage of baptized persons resides in the Catholic
Church.

In the case of two baptized persons, what is the relationship between
the contract of marriage and the sacrament of Matrimony? What two
corollaries flow from this identification of contract and sacrament?

THE CHURCH AND MARRIAGE LAWS. Obviously marriage, being
of such vital importance to the common good, must be subject to the juris-
diction of some public authority. But, since marriage of baptized persons is
a sacrament, and the Catholic Church possesses a divinely granted authority
over the administration of all the sacraments, it necessarily follows that she
has the right to make laws and to pass judgment in regard to whatever per-
tains to the validity and to the licitness of the marriage of baptized persons,
both as a sacrament and as a contract.

The Church has developed a truly remarkable body of marriage laws
over the centuries. Some repeat the law of God; others prescribe merely a
ruling of the Church.

Prove that the Church has jurisdiction over the marriage of baptized
persons . How may we classify the marriage laws of the Church?

58



PRELIMINARY STEPS DEMANDED UNDER CHURCH LAW. The
Church, in her legislation, demands the observance of certain formalities
before she approves of a marriage. These are specifically: investigation by
the pastor

;
the securing of certain documents ; the publication of the banns

;

the giving of instructions to the couple.

There is an obligation on the part of the pastor to investigate a pro-
posed marriage before he performs the wedding ceremony. The purpose of
this is to establish the freedom of the two parties to marry. To this end
the pastor must acquaint himself concerning such matters as age, religion,
freedom from forbidden near-kin relationship, and other matters that might
render the marriage either illicit or invalid. Ordinarily today a formal pre-
nuptial investigation form is used in this connection. This consists of a list
of questions which are proposed individually to the prospective bride and the
prospective groom. The answers given are sworn and subscribed to by each,
and the record of the same is kept in the files of the parish or the diocese.

What formalities must be observed before the Church approves of a
marriage ? Describe the procedure by which the pastor establishes the free-
dom of the two parties to marry.

BAPTISMAL RECORDS AND BANNS OF MARRIAGE. The bap-
tismal records of the two parties to the contract are required under church
law. If these records are not at the church where the marriage takes place,
a copy of each must be provided for the pastor. In each parish an accurate
record is kept of the persons baptized within its boundaries. On it are
given the full name of the person baptized, the date of the baptism, the
names of the parents, of the sponsors, of the minister of the sacrament, and
of the church and place of the marriage. If in course of time the baptized
child is confirmed, or contracts marriage, or pronounces solemn vows in
religion, or receives the major order of subdeacon, the fact is noted on the
.record.

When the two parties to a pending marriage are Catholic, church law
requires the proclamation of the banns of marriage. This announcement
of the forthcoming marriage must be made both in the church of the bride
and in that of the groom. The faithful are obliged to make known any real
reason they may know why the couple should not be admitted to marriage.
This safeguards marriage and is also for the good of the engaged couples.
If there is any real reason why the marriage in question is undesirable or
prohibited, true charity towards the couple demands that the fact be made
known to them through the proper channels of the Church.

Which records of the two parties are required under church law? What
information is included in the baptismal record, and what data may later be
added? What is meant by “the proclamation of the banns of marriage”

?

What is its purpose?

MARRIAGE IMPEDIMENTS. By virtue of the Church’s authority
over marriage she has declared or established a number of matrimonial
impediments. That is, she has ruled that certain circumstances constitute a
hindrance to the proper contracting of marriage. Some of these impediments
are merely prohibitive

;

that is, they render the contract of marriage un-
lawful, but not invalid. There are three such impediments, namely, simple
vows, adoption, and mixed marriage.

54



Although there is no impediment, strictly so-called, prohibiting the
marriage of a Catholic with a fallen-away who has not joined another
church, or with one who is affiliated with a society condemned by the
Church (for instance, the Masons), the Church urges her members not to
enter such unions. Furthermore, she does not allow a priest to officiate at the
wedding without first submitting the case to the judgment of the bishop
of the diocese.

Other impediments to marriage are called diriment. These invalidate
a marriage. In other words, those who attempt marriage in spite of them
are actually not married. There are thirteen of these impediments. Probably
the more common ones are : age

;
previous marriage bond

;
disparity, or

difference, of worship; consanguinity; affinity; spiritual relationship.

What is a marriage impediment ? What are “prohibitive” impediments?
Name them. Mention some unions that the Church urges her members not
to enter. What are diriment impediments? Which are the more common ones?

RESTRICTIONS NOT UNREASONABLE. At times individuals who
are not too friendly toward the Church accuse her of arrogance in claiming
and in exercising authority over marriage. Yet, they must admit that the
Church is absolutely consistent in the matter. The Catholic principles that
the marriage of baptized persons is a sacrament, and that the Catholic
Church, as the one true Church of Christ, has authority over the sacraments,
lead with unfailing logic to the conclusion that jurisdiction over the
marriage of all baptized persons resides in the Catholic Church.

It should hardly be necessary to add, too, that the restrictions imposed
by the Church in this matter are not at all unreasonable. As a matter of
fact, not a few of the civil laws of marriage regarding impediments are
today in fundamental harmony with those of the Church. For example,
the impediment of consanguinity, or blood relationship, which in the
Church extends to second cousins, is found in the statutes of many of our
States, at least as far as first cousins.

Which two principles show that the Church is consistent in claiming
and in exercising authority over the marriage of baptized persons? Mention
one indication that the marriage restrictions imposed by the Church are
not unreasonable.

DISPENSATIONS FROM IMPEDIMENTS. In connection with the
foregoing consideration, it should also be well to recall that the Church
can and will give a dispensation from certain impediments which she has
established. To be sure, a dispensation is not an ordinary or normal thing.
Laws are not made by the Church for the purpose of being dispensed. They
are made for the purpose of being observed. That is particularly true in
regard to the impediments by which the Church declares that certain
marriages are undesirable for the individual and for society. Nevertheless,
there are at times serious reasons and unusual circumstances that can
render a forbidden marriage desirable under one or the other consideration.
In such instances, the Church is willing to give gracious release from the
binding force of her law if she has full control over it.

What is meant by a dispensation from a marriage impediment? Is a
dispensation an ordinary thing? Under what conditions may the Church
grant a dispensation?

55



SAFEGUARDING FREEDOM REGARDING MARRIAGE. Profoundly
aware that for the great majority of individuals the way to both temporal
and eternal happiness is the state of wedlock, the Church has consistently
upheld the inalienable right of every individual to marry, provided he is
physically and mentally qualified, and has not, by his own free will, bound
himself to a life of celibacy. Particularly has she shown her opposition to
undue parental coercion regarding marriage. She upholds the view that
the decisions whether to marry or not to marry, and whom to marry, rest
ultimately with the individual concerned, rather than with his or her parents.

Thus, by the aforementioned and other laws, the Church safeguards
the sacrament of Matrimony, the individual, and society.

What is the attitude of the Church toward the right of every individual
to marry? What is to be said about undue parental coercion? What is
accomplished by the marriage laws of the Church?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. If you plan to marry, or if you have children who look forward to

marriage, see that the marriage laws of the Church are conscientiously
observed.

2. Whenever you hear a proclamation of marriage banns, pray for the couple
who are about to enter the holy state of Christian marriage.

56



XIII

MIXED MARRIAGE

The subject of mixed marriage is well deserving of special
study and attention. There are many such marriages in this country, and
they do much harm.

The Church in her marriage legislation strictly forbids her members
to contract marriage to persons of other religions or with those who profess
no religion. An important distinction is made in this ecclesiastical law
between those who are baptized and those who are not baptized. The
marriage of a Catholic to a baptized non-Catholic, without the proper dispen-
sation, is unlawful; but, provided there is no diriment impediment and the
marriage is contracted before an authorized priest and two witnesses, it is
valid. However, the marriage of a Catholic with an unbaptized person is
null and void unless the Church has granted a special dispensation from this
impediment. More correctly, in this latter case the impediment is called
disparity of worship rather than mixed marriage. But the other term is
also popularly used.

Why does the subject of mixed marriage deserve special study and
attention? What is the law of the Church on mixed marriage? Discuss the
marriage of a Catholic to a baptized non-Catholic ; to an unbaptized person.

WHY THE CHURCH FORBIDS MIXED MARRIAGE. The practice
of legislating against marriages of Catholics with non-Catholics has
existed in the Church since the first centuries of the Christian era. It should
be observed, too, that although substantially an ecclesiastical statute, the
law forbidding such unions contains an element of divine legislation. For,
if a Catholic by marrying one who is not of his religion should jeopardize
his own faith or that of his children, he would fail not only against the
law of the Church but also against the law of God.

57



The Church is not infrequently criticized in this country for her stand
against mixed marriages. But the criticism is really difficult to understand,
even when considered from the merely natural viewpoint. Sameness of
religion on the part of the spouses is a powerfully integrating factor in their
union. On the other hand, where there is dissimilarity of religion, not only
are integration and agreement often lacking, but outright disagreement and
consequent disintegration frequently result.

Peace and contentment in the homes of such parties cannot reasonably
be expected. Especially is that true when one of the parties to such a
marriage is a Catholic; for the Catholic religion is so radically different
from other creeds and so uncompromising in its exactions, that it is almost
impossible for a Catholic in such circumstances to remain a practical
member of his Church without encountering some opposition on religious
matters from his or her partner.

Why is it said that the law of the Church which forbids mixed marriage
contains also an element of divine legislation? What influence does sameness
of religion on the part of the spouses have on their marriage? What
frequently results from dissimilarity of religion? Why is the position of
a Catholic party to a mixed marriage especially difficult?

REAL UNION DIFFICULT, IF NOT IMPOSSIBLE. Young people,
before marriage, may not be aware of the danger inherent in mixed
marriage. Or they may at least minimize it. They see only each other’s
perfections and are quite unaware that years of association as husband
and wife will bring out quite a sufficient number of discordant qualities to
be harmonized, without having a discordant note from the very beginning
caused by diversity of religious belief. But the fact remains nonetheless.

And of all the differences there are none more serious, none more
stubborn and disastrous in their results, than differences of a religious
character. Religion deals with the most fundamental attitudes of life.
And where there are differences in fundamentals, serious discord is usually
not far distant. Hence, even when husband and wife agree on all other
subjects, one is driven to ask how there can be real union so long as there
is lack of agreement, if not outright disagreement, regarding the most
important question of life, namely, religion.

Why are young people, before marriage, often unaware of the danger
inherent in mixed marriage? Why are differences of religion on the part of
the spouses so serious ?

SPECIFIC WAYS IN WHICH TENSIONS CAN ARISE. Actually,
there are many different ways in which tense situations may develop over
differences in religion. Hostility may easily arise in the home over such
practices as Friday abstinence from meat, over the baptism or Catholic
education of children, over the practice of confession, or over matters

involving the morals of married life.

At times the constant wrangling may end in one party’s yielding or
compromising in matters of serious importance, thus causing much unhappi-
ness because of the betrayal of conscience involved. It may even happen
that one party will become a veritable enemy of the other’s religion,
ridiculing it, even forbidding its practice within or outside the home.

58



At any rate, wherever religious difference obtains between two spouses,
there is generally very real danger that their home will become a house
divided against itself.

Mention some of the ways in which tensions may arise in the case of a
mixed marriage. How serious may such tensions become?

NO GENUINE ORGANIZATION OF HOME LIFE POSSIBLE. Even
when differences in religious belief and practice do not lead to outright
disagreement and disunion, they prevent genuine organization of the home
life. No matter how well disposed toward each other the two spouses may
be, the fact remains that one treads one path, the other another. The pair
remains as before marriage, not one but two. There is no real union of
minds and hearts, no full harmony of sentiments, because a common faith
is wanting.

With no community of feeling between them with regard to what
should be the chief sentiment of life, love itself may readily lose its ardor.
The situation was well expressed as follows by a convert to the Catholic
religion who had spent twenty-eight years in a mixed marriage relationship

:

“The difference in religion is like an invisible wall separating husband and
wife at the most intimate and solemn moments of life. . . . There is a dark
cloud hovering over the family circle always, and at times one can almost
feel it, so heavily does it weigh upon all.”

Fifteen centuries ago St. Ambrose wrote as follows: “Where there
is discord in faith, how can there be accord in charity?” The question may
still be asked today.

Explain how religious differences prevent genuine organization of
home life. What impact may religious differences have on the love of hus-
band and wife ? Read the statement of a convert who had spent twenty-eight
years in a mixed marriage. What question did St. Ambrose ask on this
subject?

MIXED MARRIAGES ENDANGER FAITH. The principal reason
why the Church is so unbending in her opposition to mixed marriages
is because of her conviction that the Catholic religion alone is the correct
embodiment of Christian faith, and that the Catholic Church alone is the
true Church. Hence she deems it an immeasurable evil for a Catholic to
dissociate himself from his Church or to abandon the practice of his
religion. But mixed marriages tend toward such evil results.

The intimate association of a Catholic with someone of another or of
no creed — even when the latter is fully tolerant of the Catholic religion —
is liable to weaken the religious convictions of the Catholic individual and
to render him careless in the practice of his faith, and especially to imbue
him with the notion that it makes little or no difference what religion a
person professes, so long as he leads an honest life. Because such conse-
quences not infrequently result from mixed marriages, the Catholic Church
cannot but dissuade her members from contracting these unions.

What is the principal reason why the Church is so unbending in her
opposition to mixed marriages? What may easily result from the intimate
association of a Catholic with a non-Catholic in married life?

59



CHILDREN LOST TO THE FAITH. There is even greater danger
that the children of mixed marriages will be lost to the faith. Seeing that
fathers and mothers, both of whom they love and respect, are of different
religions, the children may readily conclude that all creeds are equally
good, and so will be estranged to the faith or become indifferent to its
practice. Any priest with wide experience will bear out the truth of that
assertion.

It is true, the Church at times grants a dispensation from her law,
permitting a Catholic to marry one not of his faith. But it must be said
that she does so reluctantly, and oftentimes only to avoid greater evils.
Furthermore, in granting a dispensation, she derpands of the non-Catholic
a solemn promise not to hinder the Catholic in the practice of his or her
religion, and insists that both parties agree to have the children to be born
of their union baptized and reared in the Catholic religion.

The attitude of the Church on mixed marriage is criticized by not a
few. But all must admit that it is the only attitude tenable by those who
firmly believe that the Catholic Church alone is in possession of the one
true religion, and that all temporal considerations must be subordinated to
the spiritual good of souls, including even the soul of the new-born infant.

What effect does mixed marriage often have on the faith of the children?
What promises does the Church exact of those who wish to enter a mixed
marriage? Why must the Church be in opposition to mixed marriage?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. If you are a party to a mixed marriage, strive by prayer and good

example for the conversion of your consort.

2. Encourage in whatever way you can the youth program of your parish
so that the young people may have an opportunity to associate with
boys and girls of the Catholic faith.

60



XIV

ADJUSTMENT IN
MARRIAGE

A good adjustment in marriage implies cordial or harmonious
relationships between husband and wife, a satisfactory adaptation to each
other. Viewed negatively, it implies the absence of tensions and antagonisms,
of conflict and clash between the spouses.

It takes a certain amount of care and effort to bring about a satisfactory
adjustment in marriage. One cannot simply leave the matter to chance or
to the force of circumstances. Hence it should be well to examine in advance
the things that may stand in the way of a good adjustment and those that
can be made to contribute towards it.

What does a good adjustment in marriage imply? Why is it well to
study this phase of the marriage relationship?

SOURCES OF MALADJUSTMENT. There is a very considerable
variety of things that tend to lead to maladjustment or to more or less
serious difficulties between partners in marriage. Such are, for example,
cultural factors, religious differences, health factors, interference from
outsiders, such as in-laws, economic factors, personal factors, such as
disposition or temperament, moral character, and differences between the
two sexes. Attention will be given to several of these in the following by
way of example. Religious differences that arise from mixed marriages
have already been discussed elsewhere.

Undoubtedly the most profound differences in human beings are those
founded in sex, that is, the differences that exist between man and woman,
between male and female. Not only are there more obvious physical dif-
ferences between them, but also less obvious psychic, or spiritual, ones.

Man, for instance, reasons more than woman. He is more the philoso-
pher. Woman, on the other hand, uses her imagination more freely. She is

61



less the philosopher. Happily the reasoning contribution of man and the
imagination of woman caA very properly complement each other. Where
such is the case in marriage, the differences can prove very beneficial to
the husband and wife. But, if they are taken to constitute irreconcilable
differences rather than to complement each other, they could readily lead
to many misunderstandings and antagonisms.

Mention some of the things that tend to lead to difficulties between
partners in marriage. How may we classify the profound differences in
human beings that are founded in sex? How do man and woman differ
as to reasoning and the use of the imagination? What should be the result
of this difference?

"WOMAN MORE FLEXIBLE AND SENSITIVE. Well worth noting,
too, is the fact that woman is normally much more flexible than man.
This implies that it is easier for her to adapt herself to her husband’s
ways and views than it is for him to adapt himself to hers. A recognition
of this fact on her part, and conduct that is in harmony with it, will
undoubtedly go far toward avoiding conflicts between the two. To be sure,
both should make every reasonable effort to compromise, to compose differ-
ences in views and attitudes that may exist between them.

Another difference of no little importance between man and woman
is to be found in their feelings. As a rule, man’s feelings are less sensitive
than woman’s. It might be argued whether this is due to natural causes
or to cultural status, but the fact itself cannot be questioned. It implies

that little attentions in daily life mean much more to the wife than to the
husband. The former will easily be pained by their absence. She may
conclude, as a result, that there is a want of genuine love on the part of the
husband. The latter, on the other hand, may not even notice the absence.

What is implied by the fact that woman is more flexible than man?
Discuss the relative sensitivity of man and woman and its implications in
married life.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES AND MARITAL MALADJUSTMENT.
By cultural differences are meant differences that center in the racial,
recreational, educational, and religious mores and folkways of individuals.
These affect a person’s life pattern. They affect his outlook on life. They
may even affect his personality. It should be self-evident that, when the
culture, or life-patterns, of husband and wife are similar, there is a sound
basis for harmonious adjustment on their part; and that when, on the other
hand, there is considerable dissimilarity in culture, there is danger of

division and discord.

Differences and dissimilarities readily lead to incompatibilities and
tensions between spouses. At all events, they hinder rather than help the
development of a community of interests and a sympathetic association
between husband and wife that a truly successful married life demands.
Every reasonable effort should be made, therefore, to avoid such differences
or to compose them when they exist. Much can be done in this regard even
before marriage, namely, by selecting as a life-partner an individual
characterized by much the same cultural background as one’s own.

What is meant by cultural differences? What may reasonably be ex-

62



pected when life-patterns of husband and wife are similar? when they are
dissimilar? What should be done when cultural differences exist?

PERSONAL FACTORS IN MARRIAGE. The term “personal factors”
is taken here to extend to both the disposition and moral character or
conduct of an individual. We speak popularly of individuals with even
temperaments and kindly dispositions, with impulsive temperaments and
querulous dispositions. Certainly the former are easier to get along with,
both in married life and social life generally, than the latter.

The term “moral character” as used here is taken to refer especially
to ideals and moral standards. It cannot be questioned that an individual
with noble ideals and high moral standards normally makes a more satis-
factory partner in marriage, than one with ignoble ideals and low moral
standards. Beyond any doubt, a spouse ornamented with virtues is easier
to adjust to than a spouse decharacterized by vicious habits or unsocial
ways of living. Such practices, for instance, as unselfishness, mildness,
patience, humility, and considerateness smooth the way to harmonious
adjustment in marriage. Jealousy, impatience, pride, and irritability, on
the other hand, work against such adjustment.

What is meant by “personal factors”? What do temperaments and
disposition have to do with compatibility in married life? What does the
term “moral character” mean? Discuss the significance of ideals and moral
standards in married life. Mention some of the practices that make for
harmonious adjustment in marriage; some practices that work against such
adjustment.

HELPS TOWARD MARRIAGE ADJUSTMENT. Not a little can be
accomplished toward a successful marriage adjustment by the careful
selection of a life partner. Such a selection would eliminate in advance, at
least in considerable measure, certain factors that would prove disturbing
to the subsequent marriage. Nevertheless, such a preliminary precaution
is not wholly sufficient. Some positive efforts must also be put forth if
harmonious relations and a sound adjustment are to be developed and
maintained.

The average marriage will call for a measure of constant adjustment.
No matter what the similarities that may exist between spouses by virtue
of a careful selection of partners, some differences will still exist. They will
not be composed automatically. They will call for intelligent and determined
effort. They will demand thinking and planning and the faithful following
out of conclusions arrived at.

Knowledge of each other on the part of husband and wife is a very
important factor in marriage adjustment. Not a little can also be accom-
plished toward this end during courtship days. The attainment of a reason-
able knowledge of each other, on the part of the intended spouses, is one
of the main purposes of courtship. But that knowledge can undoubtedly be
enlarged upon after marriage.

Knowledge alone, however, is not sufficient. After the two spouses
realize what causes irritation or what gives pleasure to each other, they
must be determined to avoid the former and to encourage the latter in their
daily lives. Wishful thinking will mean little here. What is demanded is a

68



sense of responsibility, a real measure of self-discipline and self-sacrifice,
a determined will.

Why is the careful selection of a life partner important? Is it sufficient
to assure harmonious relations and sound adjustment in marriage ? Discuss
the importance of knowledge of each other on the part of husband and wife.
To what should such knowledge lead?

A LIVELY SENSE OF DUTY. Most closely allied with the foregoing
consideration is a sense of duty. Husbands and wives have very serious
obligations toward each other and toward their offspring. They must keep
themselves keenly aware of that fact. They must also keep themselves alert
to the fact that, without a reasonable amount of harmony between them,
they cannot properly fulfill these duties. All this calls for the cultivation
of a sense of duty. Nothing else can take its place. All marriages involve
differences and hardships, ups and downs, disappointments and setbacks.
It would be counting on the unlikely to expect the spouses to face up to
these, through thick and thin, without a sensitive conscience

;
in other words,

without a lively sense of duty.

The surpassing importance of religion in this connection should be
self-evident. It is the individual who is alive to his duty to God who will
be alive to his duty to spouse and offspring. Only the deeply religious
individual will stand up to these obligations when faced by difficulties.
Often, therefore, should spouses meditate on the words of the Psalmist,
“Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build it.”

1

Doing
so will keep before their minds consistently the important fact that a well-
adjusted marriage without the aid of the supernatural, without the sustain-
ing grace of God, is out of the question.

What place has a lively sense of duty in married life? Discuss the
surpassing importance of religion in well-adjusted marriage.

1. Psalm 126, 1.

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. If you look forward to entering the married state, pray that God may

direct you in the selection of a life partner.

2. If you are married, try to apply what you have learned about “harmonious
relations and a sound adjustment” in the married state.

64



XV
THE RELIGIOUS ORDER

THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

Religious orders are not infrequently said to resemble
Christian families. And there is unquestionably much resemblance between
the two. That this is true in the case of the Benedictine Order, for instance,
appears from passages in its Rule of Life. But even more does it appear
from a consideration of the basic fundamentals that are common to the
two family units. Thus, the ultimate ends of the two are identical.
Again, both are founded on a solemn and sacred contract. Furthermore,
there are striking resemblances between the office of abbot as head of the
monastic family and the Christian father as the head of the domestic unit.
There should be both value and interest in an examination of these con-
trasting features.

Where do we find indications of a resemblance between the Benedictine
Order and the Christian family? Mention some basic fundamentals which
are common to the two family units.

THE ENDS OF THE TWO WAYS OF LIFE ARE IDENTICAL.
Actually the ends of the two types of families, the monastic and human,
are not only similar but identical. The ultimate purpose of both is union
with God, the attainment of the Beatific Vision. The two simply constitute
two different ways of reaching that same goal.

As the Encyclical on Christian Marriage points out, the two partners
in marriage are bound to help each other in working out their eternal
destiny. There must be under the sacred bond of marriage, it states, “a
mutual interest or spiritual molding of the two spouses, a determination
and ambition to perfect each other spiritually.” That is to say, after the
two have made their solemn promises to take each other as man and wife

65



until death, they must move along life’s pathway together toward their
final destination. They must no longer work toward that end alone, as they
did before marriage, or as do single persons in the world; they must
seek God together, hand in hand.

But that is also the purpose of the monastic life. The test that is
applied when an aspirant seeks admission into a Benedictine monastery is
simply this : “whether he truly seek God.” Only on that basis is he permitted
to enter. In other words, the purpose is the same as that of the marriage
state. What differences exist in the two ways of life are found, not in their
ultimate purpose, but in the means for obtaining it.

What is to be said of the ultimate end of each of these two types of
families? Discuss the responsibility that rests upon the two partners in
marriage to help each other spiritually. What test is applied to the aspirant
who seeks admission into a Benedictine monastery?

SOLEMN CONTRACT AND SACRAMENT. Both the monastic order
and the Christian family unit are based on a sacred and solemn contract,
the religious vows in the case of the former, the sacrament of Matrimony
in the case of the latter. Both involve a solemn consecration. Both are
intimately linked with grace.

The Christian family is based on an unbreakable promise, on a
contract that is at the same time a sacrament, or grace-giving institution,
namely, the sacrament of Matrimony. By it husband and wife are conse-
crated to special spiritual functions in the Mystical Body of Christ. So, too,
is the religious life of the solemnly professed Benedictine monk based on
a sacred and unbreakable contract, namely, his solemn vows. Through
these vows the religious is totally consecrated to the service of God and
the Church. As the sacrament of Matrimony lifts an office of nature to
a supernatural plane, so the vows supernaturalize all the acts performed in
the religious life that are in harmony with their purposes. Through the
vows a religious is consecrated for the service of God, one might say, much
as a chalice or other sacred vessel of the altar is consecrated to His service.

What constitutes the sacred and solemn contract on which the monastic
order is based? that on which the Christian family unit is based? Discuss
the marriage contract as a sacrament, or grace-giving institution. What is
the effect of the solemn vows of a religious?

VITALLY SPIRITUAL SOCIETIES. Both the domestic and the mo-
nastic families are also most intimately bound up with grace. Both are
vitally spiritual societies. As seen elsewhere, in considering marriage as a
sacrament, Christian spouses live constantly in a sacramental state. They
have a continuing title to the graces of the sacrament of Matrimony. In
other words, Christian marriage, the basis of the human family, is a union
of two personalities throbbing with the Christ-life of grace. It is a
partnership of two beings suffused with grace, a union of two souls redeemed
by Christ, destined for eternal union with God, and bound to work together
toward that end.

Similarly is the monastic family something vitally spiritual. While
the members do not, as is the case with married partners, live in a special
sacramental state, they are nonetheless blest with many graces. In their

66



daily life they are constantly surrounded with many and varied means of
grace. Their lives are guided and controlled by the graces of vocation. They
have ready access to the sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion,
with their concomitant graces. They have the opportunity of frequent
assistance at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and at the many religious
exercises of the community.

What do we mean by saying that the domestic and the monastic
families are “vitally spiritual societies”? Why is it said that Christian
spouses live constantly in a sacramental state? In what way is the monastic
society something vitally spiritual?

MUTUAL AID. As a counterpart to the mutual aid that comes to
married spouses from their close union in sacramental marriage is the aid
that comes from a religious life in common in the monastic family; in
other words, that comes from the example and encouragement and strivings
of many monastic brethren. It might be added, too, that, while the religious
vows do not constitute a sacrament, the eminent theologian of the Church,
St. Thomas, likens the monastic profession to the ex opere operato effect
of the sacraments.

It should be obvious from the foregoing, then, that there is a striking
similarity in what might be called the foundation stones of both types of
families, the domestic and the monastic. As was seen, both are built on
solemn and sacred promises made to God and ratified in heaven ; both imply
a solemn consecration with a title to an abundance of the spiritual aid
of grace.

Discuss mutual aid in sacramental marriage and in the religious life.
Summarize what has been said about the striking similarity in the founda-
tion stones of the domestic and monastic families.

THE STATUS OF CHRISTIAN AND MONASTIC FATHERS ANAL-
OGOUS. Turning to what might be called the capstone or keystone of the
monastic family and human family, namely, the heads, we find an equally
striking resemblance. Both bear the title of father, and both are said to
represent Christ at the head of their respective units.

From time immemorial the head of the human family has been known
under the title of father. In the case of the head of the religious families
of men, he is also, as already indicated, quite universally given the title of
father. St. Benedict, in his Rule for the monastic family, written over 1400
years ago, refers to the head of the monastery as “abbot,” a term that
means father. The law of the Church applies to him the title of “father of
the monastery.”

In what ways do the heads of the two families, monastic and human,
bear a striking resemblance to each other? What name is applied to the
head of the human family? the head of the monastic family?

BOTH FATHERS REPRESENT CHRIST. But much more important
than the term used, or the name applied to the head of each of the two
groups, is the fact that in both cases his is the profound dignity of
representing Christ. Insofar as the human father is concerned, it has

67



already been shown that the father represents Christ as the head of the
Christian home. That is unmistakably clear from St. Paul’s Epistle to the
Ephesians. The same is true of the abbot, or father, of the monastery. He
is to appear to the monks as representing Christ at their head.

To quote the unmistakably plain words of St. Benedict’s Rule: “The
abbot is believed to hold the place of Christ in the monastery.” And again

:

“Let the abbot, since he is believed to hold the place of Christ in the
monastery, be called Lord and Father . . . out of reverence and love of
Christ.” Then there immediately follows this weighty admonition — an
admonition that might also well be applied to the human father : “Let him
(the abbot) be mindful of this and show himself worthy of this honor.”

Whom do both the father of the Christian family and the abbot of the
monastic family represent? Which epistle of St. Paul emphasizes the dignity
of the Christian father? What does St. Benedict say in his Rule about the
dignity of the abbot of the monastic family?

BASIC PRINCIPLE OF MONASTIC LIFE. One might well think
that St. Benedict, who showed such great familiarity with the Scriptures,
had the fifth chapter of St. Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians in mind when
he wrote those words about the abbot. At any rate, we have in them the
key principle to the well-known chapter of his Rule on the abbot. He
represents Christ in the midst of his monks; the latter are to submit to
him as to Christ.

This is a principle that is most basic to the entire ordering of the
monastic family. It suggests the abbot’s norm of conduct, his rule of life.
Similarly it suggests the^norm that should guide the monks, the children
of the monastic family, in their relationships with him. The abbot is, in
the measure possible to human frailty, to reproduce in his life and in the
discharge of his official duties the person and the actions of Jesus Christ.
The monks are to show him the respect that such a position demands.

Which part of the Holy Scripture may St. Benedict have had in mind
when he wrote the chapter of his Rule on the abbot? How is the entire
monastic life ordered according to the abbot*s dignity as the representative

of Christ?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. If you are married, be mindful of the duty of Christian spouses to help

each other in working out their eternal salvation.

2. Make the dignity of the father as the representative of Christ in the
home a basic principle in the ordering of your Christian family life.

68



XVI

RELIGIOUS PRACTICES IN

HOME AND MONASTERY

Referring further to the analogy that exists between the
monastic and Christian homes, attention may advantageously be directed
to the striking similarity in the religious customs and practices of the two.

In this connection it should be well to recall that St. John Chrysostom
referred to the Christian home as a church, and St. Benedict referred to the
monastic institution as a house of God. Thus, in St. John Chrysostom’s
writings we read these words : “Prayer and teaching in the church are not
enough. They must be accompanied by prayers and reading at home; for
the home is a little church, an ecclesia domestical As to the term “house
of God” that St. Benedict used in his Rule, it obviously referred to the
monastic institution as such, and not merely to its chapel or abbey church.

What further striking similarity between monastic and Christian homes
will be given attention in this chapter? How did St. John Chrysostom refer
to tdie Christian home? To what did the term “house of God” in St. Bene-
dict's Rule refer?

RELIGIOUS PRACTICES IN HOME AND MONASTERY. The official
or public worship of the Church — the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the
Divine Office, the administration of the sacraments, and certain approved
devotions — normally takes place in the church edifice rather than in the
monastery. Similarly the official liturgical services of the Church take
place in the parochial edifice rather than in the home. But there are,
nevertheless, many religious practices and devotions that are entirely in
place both in the monastic home and at the domestic hearth. Many have,
as a matter of fact, been found in both over the centuries. And herein,
again, we find a considerable analogy between the two family groups.

There is, for instance, the large field of the sacramentals, or the
so-called “little sacraments.” Many of these are in place alike in the
miniature church that is the home and in the house of God that is the
monastery. Such sacramentals are, for example: the use of holy water;

69



making the Sign of the Cross before beginning a task or a prayer; the
use of medals

;
the presence of blest evidences of religion, such as crucifixes,

pictures, and statues ; the ordinary blessing of a house ; the special blessing
given a home at Eastertide or Epiphany; the blessing of medicine and of
food for the table. Well, too, might mention be made in this connection
of the many agricultural blessings the Church has given us. Insofar as the
more highly urbanized families and industrialized monasteries are concerned,
mention might be made of what might be called the industrial sacramentals
—'the blessing of typewriters, printing presses, dynamos, and such like.

Where do the official liturgical services of the Church normally take
place? Where else may certain religious practices and devotions properly
be held? Mention some of the sacramentals which are in place in both home
and monastery.

BLESSINGS FOR INDIVIDUALS. More important still are the
Church’s blessings for individuals. Some of these are in place, no less in
the monastic than in the domestic family. There is, for instance, the
parental blessing. Reference was made earlier to the wholesome practice
of parents blessing their children, particularly before they retire in the
evening and before they go into the dangers of the street or on any
considerable journey.

The equivalent of this practice is both well known and faithfully
observed in monastic families. Thus, it is customary for the member of
the community, whenever he leaves the monastery and when he returns to
it, to present himself to the abbot, or to his more immediate superior, and
ask his blessing. Furthermore, every evening when the monastic family has
completed Compline and night prayers in the chapel, the abbot of the
community, sprinkling the brethren with holy water, gives them the final
blessing of the day.

What is the parental blessing and on what occasions is it usually given?
Tell of the equivalent of this practice in monastic families.

FAMILY PRAYERS AND SPECIAL DEVOTIONS. Again, there is
a variety of prayers and devotions that are equally appropriate in the
monastery and at the family hearth. Mention might be made in this
connection of prayers before and after meals, morning and evening prayers,
suffrage for deceased members and prayerful remembrance of absent ones,
the reading of the Scriptures and other religious books at meals and at
other times, the observance of special religious devotions during certain

months of the year or various liturgical seasons.

Where differences exist in regard to these practices, as between home
and monastery, they will be found rather in extent and manner of use
than in their suitability or unsuitability for either group. And even though
they may take somewhat different forms in the home and in the monastery,
this does not detract from their general resemblance. They still remain
fundamentally counterparts of each other.

Normally, as already noted, the monastery has attached to it a special
church or chapel in which the monks carry out in common many religious
exercises of the day. Similarly the home should have at least a small altar
or shrine, before which the family members can gather for prayers and

70



devotions in common. Herein, again, there is a measure of resemblance
between the two groups.

Which are some of the prayers and devotions that are equally appro-
priate in monastery and Christian home ? What is to be said of differences
in regard to these practices ? What should be found in the home as a
counterpart to the monastic church or chapel?

FAMILY DEVOTIONS IN CHURCH. Mention might also be made
of devotions that should be assisted at in unison by family members in
their church edifices. Thus, just as it is customary for members of the
monastic family to participate together in religious exercises in their chapel
or abbey church, so should parents and children join with one another in
services in their parish church. Happily this practice is growing in our day.
It is seen, for instance, in the increasing popularity of family Communion,
the family Mass, the family holy hour, and the family retreat.

In spite of all the analogies that have been pointed out, and still
others not indicated, there are also some noteworthy differences in practice
in the actual lives of the two types of families considered. To indicate
some of the more outstanding of these should open the way, in bringing
this study of marriage and the family to a close, to some practical resolutions
that might well go far toward lifting Christian family life of our day to
levels as high as those at which religious life finds itself.

Perhaps mention might well be made with particular benefit in this
regard of the religious novitiate, the annual spiritual retreat, and the
renewal of their vows by religious. The equivalent of these might very
suitably be introduced for the benefit of family life. Properly adapted to
its needs, they should go far in eliminating the differences that exist in
the spiritual lives of the two groups.

Discuss participation of monks in religious exercises in their chapel or
abbey church; of parents and children in their parish church. What should
follow from emphasizing differences in the religious practices of home and
monastery? Mention three practices of monastic families which, with proper
adaptation, might suitably be introduced into domestic life.

PREPARATION FOR RELIGIOUS LIFE AND FAMILY LIFE.
A novitiate might well be called an apprenticeship for religious life. As
novices, candidates for a religious order are taught the principles of
ascetical life. They are also taught, in both theory and practice, the details
of the particular religious rule under which they are to live if they
eventually join the community. This period of training and trial implies a
careful preparation for the life ahead.

Something similar to this may well be provided for those who enter
the married state. Thus, candidates for the sacrament of Matrimony
should receive careful preparation for the state of life they are entering
upon. They should be made thoroughly acquainted with the fundamentals
of Christian marriage and family living. They should be given a clear
grasp of the spiritual aspects of family relationships. They should be
taught the religious practices that should enable them to make of their
future homes churches in miniature.

As a matter of fact, something is presently being done in this regard.

71



It can be seen in the multiplication of marriage courses in and outside of
school, also of marriage forums and of a variety of discussion groups in
which members devote themselves to the study of the field of preparation
for marriage and family living. But the fact remains that much more
could be done, and is also greatly needed.

What are candidates for a religious order taught in the novitiate

?

Explain the type of preparation that might well be provided for those who
plan to enter the married state. What indications are there that something
is already being done in this regard?

THE SPIRITUAL RETREAT. The spiritual retreat, the second prac-
tice referred to, is also found universally in religious life and has genuine
spiritual value. This wholesome practice should not be denied to the
family. Actually, it is being provided increasingly in the form of the
family retreat.

This spiritual exercise focuses the attention of the marriage partners
on the spiritual bases of married life, on the divinely ordained purposes
of marriage and the family, and on the rights and duties of husbands and
wives and the privileges and obligations of fathers and mothers. It has
proved itself an excellent medium for bringing to the attention of spouses
the varied possibilities for sanctification through Christian family living.
There is much need for this type of retreat for married couples today.
It should be increasingly provided for them.

What is a spiritual retreat? Mention some of the topics that are treated
in a family retreat .

RENEWAL OF VOWS. Finally, there is the practice among religious
of renewing their sacred vows. This may be done in private at any time.
It is usually done publicly on the occasion of the annual retreat of a
community. There is no valid reason why married couples should not also
renew their nuptial promises occasionally. Actually the practice is growing
in connection with family retreats and the family holy hour. It should be
zealously encouraged. It carries with it no little promise of benefiting
the spiritual life of the family.

While there have been some accomplishments, insofar as the family
is concerned, in all the aforementioned fields, the fact remains that far more
needs still to be done. In fact, insofar as religious practices and customs
generally are concerned, they are still found far more extensively in
monasteries than in homes. This suggests a far-reaching field for the family

apostolate today.

On what occasion do religious usually renew their sacred vows? What
advantage may reasonably be expected from the occasional renewal of
nuptial promises? What is suggested by the present status of religious
practices and customs in Christian homes?

SUGGESTED PRACTICES
1. Join with other members of your family in services in your parish

church as often as possible.

2. Try to make a spiritual retreat each year ; and if the opportunity presents
itself, participate in a family retreat.

72



REFERENCE LIST

Healy, Marriage Guidance. Loyola University Press, Chicago, 111. 1948.

Leclercq-Hanley, Marriage and the Family. Pustet, Cincinnati, Ohio. 1947.

Mihanovich-Schnepp-Thomas, Marriage and the Family. Bruce, Milwaukee,

Wise. 1952.

Sause, Virtue in the Catholic Home. Abbey Student Press, Atchison, Kans.

1942.

Schmiedeler, An Introductory Study of the Family. Appleton-Century-
Crofts, New York. 1947.

Schmiedeler, Marriage and the Family. McGraw-Hill, New York. 1946.

Thomas, The American Catholic Family. Prentice-Hall, New York. 1956.

Trapp, Around the Year with the Trapp Family. Pantheon Books, Inc.,

New York. 1955.

Werth-Mihanovich, Papal Pronouncements on Marriage and the Family.

Bruce, Milwaukee, Wise. 1955.

t

The following are available from the National Catholic Welfare Conference,

1312 Massachusetts Avenue, N.W., Washington 5, D. C.

:

Christian Marriage: An Analysis of the Marriage Encyclical

,

250. 1946.

Encyclical on Christian Marriage, 100. 1930.

Family, School of the Virtues, The, 250. 1948.

Father, the Head of the Home, The, $1.00. 1951.

Priestly Aspects of Christian Parenthood, 100. 1950.

Your Home, a Church in Miniature, Vol. I, 250; Vol. II, 300; Vol. Ill, 250.
1948.



THE CATHOLIC ACTION SERIES OF TEXT-
BOOKS FOR RELIGIOUS DISCUSSION CLUBS

FIRST SERIES

ALTAR AND SANCTUARY
Exposition of Externals of the Mass

PRAYING THE MASS
Mass Prayers and Ceremonies

THE SACRAMENTALS
Origin, Nature, and Proper Use of the

Sacramentals of the Church

PRAYERS
Prayers in Common Use in the Church

THE APOSTLES’ CREED
Chief Truths of the Catholic Faith

THE COMMANDMENTS
Commandments of God and of the Church

THE SACRAMENTS
Instruction on the Sacramental System

MARY’S MESSAGE
Our Lady’s Call to Prayer and Sacrifice

OUR CATHOLIC AMERICAN HERITAGE
History of the Catholic Church in the United States

SECOND SERIES

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
The Sacrament of Matrimony and the Christian Family

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