The real secret of successful marriage


• Until Death Do Us Part

• Married Three Times and
''Always For Love"

• But Is It A Sacrament?
• God's Family Plan

• The Children—Center of
Family Concern

• What's Wrong With
Divorce?

• It Takes a Good Man and
a Good Woman

• So You're Going To Be
Married!

• The Phony "Science" of
"Planned Parenthood"

• What Do Priests Know
About Marriage,
Anyway?

What Do You Mean-"A
• Home Of Your Own?"

• A Sacred Contract

Nol9



Why the Knights oi Columhns

Mvertise Catholic Faith
The reason is simple. We Catho-
lics want our non-Catholic friends

and neighbors to know us as we

really; are and not as we are some

times mistakenly represented.

We are confident that when
our religious Faith is better un-

derstood by those who do not

share it, mutual understanding

will promote the good-will which

is so necessary in a predominant-

ly Christian country whose gov-

ernment is designed to serve all

the people—no matter how much

their religious convictions may

diflFer.

American Catholics are con-

vinced that as the teachings of

Christ widely and firmly take

hold of the hearts and conduct

of our people, we shall remain

free in the sense that Christ

promised (John VIII, 31-38),

and in the manner planned by

the Founding Fathers of this

republic.

Despite the plainly stated will

of the Good Shepherd that there

be "one fold and one shepherd,”

the differences in the understand-

ing of Christ’s teaching are

plainly evident. It has rightfully

been called "the scandal of a

divided Christianity.”

If there is anything which will

gather together the scattered

flock of Christ, it is the nation-

wide understanding of the

Savior, what He did and how He
intended mankind to benefit by

the Redemption.

To this end, we wish our

fellow-Americans to become ac-

quainted with the teachings of

Christ as the Catholic Church

has faithfully presented them,

since the day the apostles in-

vaded the nations of the world

in willing and courageous obedi-

ence to Christ’s command: "Go,

therefore, and make disciples of

all nations .
.

(Matt. XXVIII,

19).

SUPREME COUNCIL

KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS
Religious Information Bureau

4422 LINDELL BLVD. ST. LOUIS 8, MO.

©Knights of Columbus 1950



Many people are convinced that
marriage today is a gamble — with
the chances of success not too good.

Nor is it easy to contradict this
claim when we look at the appal-
ling modern divorce rate, and at
the many aspects of modern life
which tend to undermine the prin-
ciples on which successful mar-
riages are founded.

Marriage is the most important
act in the life of a man or woman.
When it is a good marriage, it
brings men and women to the full-
ness of the life God intended for
them. When it fails, it leaves be-
hind a trail of faded hopes and
dreams and broken lives.

You can hear all sorts of ex-
planations for todays marriage

failures. Usually the husband and
wife blame each other. Sometimes
both acknowledge a share of the
responsibility and say: ‘We just
couldn’t get along.” And experts
who study the problem can give
innumerable reasons ranging from
a conflict of personalities to the

interference of relatives.

For those who are planning mar-
riage . . . and those whose family
life is not the peaceful, contented

and secure thing it should be ... it
is vitally important that they know
not merely what makes a marriage
go on the rocks, but what it takes
to make a marriage a success.

Certainly no one can find the
secret of successful marriage with-

out first having a clear understand-

ing of what marriage is. Is it mere-
ly a civil contract, entered into

by a man and woman mainly
for companionship and social and
material security? Is it the result

of a purely physical attraction, and
thoughtlessly embarked upon in
the full bloom of youthful ardor?
Is it the product only of a pleasant

companionship which may not sur-
vive the trials and tribulations of

family life?

No one can hope to realize the
full fruits of a good marriage with-
out first understanding what mar-
riage is. To supply this answer is
the purpose of this booklet.

No one can doubt the vital im-

1



portance of marriage as a social

institution. Civil laws regulating

marriage and divorce are established
because society in general recog-

nizes the need to preserve family

life.

But it is indeed putting the cart
before the horse to view the social
aspects of marriage without first

examining its spiritual meaning
and purpose^

Marriage is not, as some seem
to think, an institution set up by
men to legalize the physical rela-
tionships of a man and a woman.
It is instead a relationship estab-

lished by God primarily for the
generation and rearing of children.

God created man and woman to
be physically attractive to each

other. And while He endowed this
relationship with a sense of grati-

fication, He did so not to invent a
means of carnal pleasure but to
encourage the generation of new
life.

Some might point out that God
endowed other creatures with the
powers of reproduction and that

this power is a natural and instinc-
tive function. But there is a very
great distinction between the mat-
ing of two human beings and the
natural generation of other forms
of life.

The man and woman who bring
new life into the world provide
the house for a human soul, created
by God and made in His image
and likeness. While the offspring
of other creatures perish at death,

the child of man has God’s promise
that his soul will continue to live

after death — that his body will be
raised from the dust and eternally
reunited with his soul.

Too many marriages, unfortu-
nately, are entered into primarily

for the physical pleasures offered

by such a relationship. It is among
such people that the advocates of

birth control find their most 'en-
thusiastic supporters. It is sad but

true that in our so-called modern
times, the Catholic Church stands

almost alone in its opposition to

this degrading vice, and is often

called bigoted and narrow-minded

on the subject by some who pro-
fess to be Christians.

Actually, the law against birth-

control is not a law of the Catholic

Church. It is God’s law and bind-

ing upon married people of every
faith. When God endowed men
and women with the physical pow-
er to generate children. He ob-
viously desired them to use this
power for that purpose. Exponents
and practitioners of birth control

are therefore obviously defying

both the natural and the super-

natural laws.

2



God also has made the marriage
relationship attractive in other than

purely physical ways. In the happy
marriage, the husband and wife

each contribute to the other s con-

tentment. There is an exchange of

affection — a union of hearts — a
meeting of minds. The personality
of one merges with the personality

of the other, to their mutual happi-

ness and benefit. In times of joy
their pleasure is mutual and two-
fold; in times of crisis, the com-
fort and consolation of one is
imparted to the other.

All too often, a man and woman
embarking on married life will
recognize their union as a partner-
ship between themselves . . . but
overlook the more important fact
that they are also parties to a

partnership with God.
To make this partnership invit-

ing and rewarding, God has en-
dowed the married state with num-
erous blessings and many pleasures.
He expects in return that men and
women will use the physical at-
tributes he has given them for the
purpose He obviously intended —
the begetting of children and the
rearing and training of such chil-
dren to walk in righteous pathways
and live consecrated and useful
lives.

The Catholic doctrine concerning
marriage is not, as some people
imagine, merely a set of regula-

tions invented by the Church. Mar-
riage is an institution founded by
God Himself. In this, as in other
divine laws and commandments,
the Church merely interprets and
explains the laws for the guidance

and benefit of those who wish to
live as God willed that they should.

. . matrimonial faith demands that husband and wife be joined in an

especially holy and pure love, not as adulterers love each other, but as

Christ loved the Church . . . The love, then, of which we are speaking

is not that based on the passing lust of the moment nor does it consist

in pleasing words only, but in the deep attachment of the heart which

is expressed in action, since love is proved by deeds. This outward

expression of love in the home demands not only mutual help but must
go further; must have as its primary purpose that man and wife help
each other day by day in forming and perfecting themselves in the

interior life; so that through their partnership in life they may advance
ever more and more in virtue, and above all that they may grow in true
love towards God and their neighbour . . .” Pius XI.

3



A SACRED CONTRACT

It is obvious from the modern
divorce records . . . and from the
vulgar humor so often applied to
marriage . . . that many people do
not regard matrimony as a holy
state.

In this attitude they completely

ignore the fact that the proper

union between man and woman
was ordained by God, and that its
holiness has been reaffirmed re-
peatedly since the beginning of the

Christian era.

The marriage contract is not, as
some seem to think, a license from
the Church or the state to legalize
the cohabitation of a man and a
woman. It is entirely possible for
a completely valid marriage to be
consummated, in fact, without the

offices of either the Church or the
civil authorities.

The priest, minister or judge
who performs a marriage ceremony
is actually only a witness. The con-
tract is between the bride and
groom who enter into the marriage
union. They and they alone make
the contract.

Like any other contract, a prop-

er matrimonial pact must be vol-
untarily entered into and must
equitably protect the interest,

rights and welfare of all parties

concerned. In the case of the man
and the woman, this means that
each gives to the other all the

proper rights of the conjugal re-

lation. This involves not merely

cohabitation, but love, assistance,

fidelity and the benefit of all of
the special and individual talents

which the contracting parties may
possess.

God is not only the author of
matrimony, but must be a partner

to any true marriage contract. For

when He created man and woman
.’..and told them to "increase and
multiply and fill the earth . . .” He
was establishing a contract obliga-

tion for all men and women who

4



might henceforth unite in marriage.

It is amazing how many people
who profess to be Christians . .

.

who claim to believe Holy Scrip-
ture... are parties to divorce and
remarriage. It is impossible to see

how they can reconcile such pro-
fessions of faith with such behavior.

We are told in Genesis that "a
man shall leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave unto his

wife; and they shall be one flesh.’”

We are reminded of this by Christ
in the New Testament (Matthew
19:5-6), with the added admoni-

tion: 'What therefore God hath
joined together let no man put
asunder.”

The sanctity of matrimony . .

.

and the kind of love that should

prevail between man and wife . .

.

are graphically described by St.
Paul, who said: "Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ also loved

the Church, and delivered himself

up for her . . . even thus ought hus-
bands also to love their wives as

their own bodies. He who loves his
own flesh, loves himself. For no one
ever hated his own flesh; on the con-
trary, he nourishes and cherishes it

as Christ also does the Church (be-
cause we are members of his body,
made from his flesh and from his
bones.) 'For this reason, a man
shall leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife; and
the two shall become one flesh.’
This is a great mystery — I mean
in reference to Christ and to the
Church.” (Eph. 5:25-32.)

St. Paul clearly implied in these

words that a man and wife should
imitate in their relationship to each

other the relationship of Christ to

His Church. As Christ established
only one Church, a man should have
but one wife. Christ would never
divorce Himself from his Church,
and no man should divorce himself
from his wife. Man should guard
his wife with loving care, as Christ

guards His Church. And as the
Church is obedient and true to
Christ, so should the wife be obe-
dient and true to her husband.

People who look upon divorce
with easy tolerance are often criti-

cal of the Catholic doctrine on
marriage arid divorce. They argue
that the Church is not realistic . .

.

that no allowance is made for bad
marriages which they contend only
a divorce can correct. They think,
for instance, that the Church
should revise its precepts against

birth control so that the number
of children might be limited to fit
the family budget. They don’t like
the attitude of the Church on mixed

marriages. They declare that the
Church should revise its doctrine
and rules to conform to the chang-
ing needs of modern society.

But, the Church asks — if it was
adulterous for a man to put away
his wife and marry another in the
time of Christ, is it not also adulter-

ous today? When God commanded
that man and woman "Increase and
multiply and fill the earth,” He did
not say "if you can afford it.”

The commandment that a man
"cleave unto his wife” does not

suggest that this allegiance shall

last only until a more attractive
woman comes along. It does not say
that this union can be broken be-

5



cause the wife doesn’t measure up
to the husband’s expectations. It

leaves no room for a disgruntled
wife to pack up and leave because
her husband’s income is too small
to fulfill her desires.

Successful marriage ... a truly

Christian marriage . . . demands love
and loyalty, a spirit of tolerance, the
willingness to make sacrifices large
and small. It ' calls for understand-

ing and cooperation, and above all

for faith in God and trust in one
another.

Those planning marriage should
contemplate the state of matrimony
for what it really is — a lifetime
career — and should prepare ac-'

cordingly. Failure to understand the
obligations, privileges and pleas-

ures of marriage often causes a

marriage failure which might have
been avoided with proper pre-
paration.

".
. . it is hardly necessary to point out what an amount of good is

involved in the absolute indissolubility of wedlock and what a train of
evils follows upon divorce. Whenever the marriage bond remains intact,
then we find marriages contracted with a sense of safety and security,
while, when separations are considered and the dangers of divorce are
present, the marriage contract itself becomes insecure, or at least gives
ground for anxiety and surprises. On the one hand we see a wonderful
strengthening of good will and co-operation in the daily life of husband
and wife, while, on the other, both of these are miserably weakened by
the presence of a facility for divorce. Here we have at a very oppormne
moment a source of help by which both parties are enabled to preserve
their purity and loyalty; there we find harmful inducements to unfaith-
fulness. On this side we find the birth of children and their tuition and
up-bringing effectively promoted, many avenues of discord closed amongst
families and relations, and the beginnings of rivalry and jealously easily
suppressed; on that, very great obstacles to the birth and rearing of
children and their education, and many occasions of quarrels, and seeds
of jealousy sown everywhere . . .” Pius XL

6



MAHHIED THREE TIMES
MD “ALWAYS FOR LOVE”

You might think... from our
magazines, movies, newspapers and

radio . . . that our generation has

"fallen in love with love.”

Teen-age girls swoon at the
sound of a fuzzy-toned crooner’s

voice. A glamorous woman makes
her third, fourth or fifth trip to

the altar and drooling feature

stories proclaim that this, at last,

is "the great romance.” Brazen in-

fidelity is often excused because the

guilty ones were "deeply in love.”

Actually, the thing which is so
widely glorified today is not love

at all, but sex. And at least one
bold purveyor of cheap fiction de-

clares that sex is the most import-

ant thing in life, and therefore the
most essential ingredient in sale-
able fiction and drama.

Both love and sex have their
proper place, for both are God-
given attributes of man. But where
love can exist without the element

of sex, the power of sex is abused
and misused where it lacks the
dominating influence and control of
love. Sex is not a consideration at
all, for instance, in our love for God,
for our parents, for our children. It
is an expression and fulfillment of
love between a man and a woman
when it is a genuine love which
is pleasing in the eyes of God.

The faithfulness of partners in
marriage is a question seldom dis-

cussed. Those who are unfaithful
try to keep their sin a secret. Those
who remain faithful regard infi-
delity as something decent people

don’t do. But enough evidence does
get into circulation to prove that

marital infidelity is not a rare and

isolated event, but a growing social

epidemic.

But whether infidelity is suc-

cessfully concealed, or publicly ex-

posed, it is a great and ugly evil
which every husband and wife
should look upon with horror and
scorn. It is, first of all, a hideous

desecration of a God-given power
and a scarlet sin. It is a murderous

destroyer of family life and a cruel
form of injustice upon the betrayed
spouse. It is a betrayal of the trust

of the children of either of the

parties concerned. And finally, it
is an attack upon the very founda-
tions of human society.

Some people claim that their
family life is strictly their own
business. But that isn’t true. From
each family there flows a tiny

spring that empties into the moral

reservoir of society. The family is
the source where the waters of this

reservoir are either purified or pol-

7



luted. Pollution imperils the moral
health of every social institution.

Few generations have been
marked by such widespread invi-
tations to infidelity. Popular humor
makes light of the behavior of the
man who "cheats” on his wife, or
the wife who betrays her husband.
Obscene, suggestive and porno-
graphic literature is tolerated as

never before. The sexual allure of
women is brazenly exploited in
almost every phase of visual and
pictorial art. The jpian who steals
the affections of another’s wife is

often regarded as a modern Romeo,
and the woman as a lucky one '^ho
found "a greater love.”

How can married people combat
this attack upon their virtue and
decency? How can they be sure
that the pure love which prevailed
at the time of their marriage will

remain strong enough to resist all
temptations as they walk through
the years together? How can they
protect the beauty and splendor of
their beginning love against the

sly and sinister invitations to en-
joy illicit experiences?

The virtue of chastity is, of
-course, the answer. It is a virtue

which should most earnestly be
cultivated by both husband and
wife. It is the absence of chastity
on such a widespread scale that is
today permitting greedy people to
popularize obscenity and indecency.

These peddlers of smut and sexual
debauchery try to ridicule the chaste
person as a prude or a religious
"nut.” They say that such people are
not modern, that they’re not "on
the beam,” that they are not "hep.”
And it often happens that the
chaste person finds himself the only
one of a crowd of presumably de-
cent people who resents an attack
upon chastity.

No one can be truly good and
truly happy without chastity. It is
therefore important to the husband
and wife . . . and to young people,
too ... to know what chastity means
and how it strengthens and pro-
tects the individual against the

temptation to infidelity and im-
morality of all kinds.

Chastity is the product of rever-

ence. And once we understand the
meaning of reverence, the meaning
of chastity becomes quite clear.
Reverence is a deep respect com-
bined with love and awe, and some-
times with fear. Our reverence for
God combines all these elements.
And we must have reverence for
ourselves — for our body and our
soul.

The body of a man is a temple
of God — created by God to house
the human soul. And the soul, we
are assured, is made in God’s own
image and likeness. When we defile
our body by immorality, we defile
the temple of God. And at the

8



same time we defile the soul which
is God’s image and likeness.

Canon Sheehan described rever-
ence not only as the guardian of

chastity and purity, but as the

secret of all religion and all happi-
ness. "Without reverence,” he said,
"there is no faith, nor hope, nor
love. Reverence is the mother of
each of the Commandments of

Sinai — reverence of God, reverence
of our neighbor, reverence of our-

self.

"Humility is founded on it; piety
is conserved by it; purity finds in
it its shield and buckler. Reverence
for God, and all that is associated
with Him, His ministers. His tem-
ple, His services — that is religion.
Reverence for our neighbor, his

goods, his person, his chattels —
that is honesty. Reverence for our-

selves — clean bodies and pure souls
— that is chastity.”
The allurements to infidelity and

immorality are all about us. But
we will have the power to resist
them if we will but remember that
our bodies are the temple of God
. . . our souls His image and like-

ness . . . and His helping grace the

armor plate which no evil can
pierce, no temptation destroy.

'If families, particularly those in which there are many children, have
not suitable dwellings; if the husband cannot find employment and
means of livelihood; if the necessities of life cannot be purchased except
at exorbitant prices; if even the mother of the family to the great harm
of the home, is compelled to go forth and seek a living by her own
labour; if she, too, in the ordinary or even extraordinary labours of

childbirth is deprived of proper food, medicine, and the assistance of a

skilled physician, it is patent to all to what an extent married people

may lose heart, and how home life and the observance of God’s com-
mands are rendered difficult for them; indeed, it is obvious how great
a peril can arise to the public security and to the welfare and very life

of civil society itself when such men are reduced to that condition
of desperation that, having nothing which they fear to lose, they are

emboldened to hope for chance advantage from the upheaval of the

state and of established order.” Pius XI.

9



BUT... IS IT A SACRAMENT?
||wc»ooooooooooooooooo«>cx»ooo&so«

A man and woman contemplat-
ing marriage usually devote a good
deal of thought and attention to
the practical problems involved in

such a union.

But it is unfortunate that many
do not meditate as deeply and
thoroughly as they should upon the
meaning of matrimony as a holy
institution. Too often they see the
material aspects and benefits of the
married state without fully com-

prehending its spiritual significance.

Marriage, in Catholic eyes, is a

Sacrament. Non-Catholics, even
though they may regard marriage
as a holy state, disagree with this

article of Catholic faith.

Those seeking marital happiness
will find it profitable, however, to

examine the reasons why the age-
old Catholic Church recognizes the
sacramental character of matrimony.

From this study you can better
understand the Catholic teaching

concerning many aspects of mar-
riage and family life.

It is argued that the Bible

does not specifically refer to mar-

riage as a Sacrament. It is true, of

course, that the Scriptures do not
give convincing evidence in the

matter, but St. Paul definitely im-

plies that marriage is of sacramental

character, and Christian teaching
since the time of Peter supports

this belief.

Before forming an opinion on
the matter, let us find the answer to

the question. What is a Sacrament?

A Sacrament is an external sign
of the invisible grace conferred by
Christ on those who receive a
Sacrament. The Apostles, for in-
stance, could not see the Holy

Spirit when Christ said to them:
"Receive the Holy Spirit." And
while Christ could have transmitted

the Holy Spirit to them without
these words or any external sign.

He did speak the words and He
breathed upon them so that their
human senses would comprehend
what was taking place.

External signs are used, of course,

in the transmission of all Christ’s

Sacraments ... just as Christ used

external signs to make the mean-
ing of His teaching clear to the

human senses of His followers. The
graces conferred by the Sacraments

are, of course, invisible.

In the Epistle of St. Paul to the

Ephesians (V: 23-24), the Apostle

compared the marriage of a Chris-

tian man and woman to the union
of Christ and His Church. The hus-

band was described as the head of

the wife "even as Christ is the head

of the Church”. . . and "... as the

Church is subject unto Christ, so

let the wives be to their own hus-
bands in everything.”

10



In admonishing a husband and

wife to submit to each other, St.

Paul obviously did not mean that
they should do this merely for their

own material enjoyment and wel-
fare. He clearly meant that it is
the will of Christ that they should

do so, and the only conclusion that

may be drawn from this is that
marriage is a spiritual union.

The Apostle would scarcely have
likened the union of a husband

and wife to the union of Christ

and His Church if matrimony were
not a sacred relationship and part

of God’s plan for the world. And
common sense also tells us that
Christ, having provided graces for

mankind through Sacraments to
meet other needs, would not have
neglected to provide spiritual as-

sistance for us in so vital and com-
plex a matter as the married state.

These conclusions are well sup-
ported by tradition dating from the
earliest Christian times and pre-
served in the historic Catholic

Church. Non-Catholics do not accept
tradition and insist that the Scrip-
tures contain all Christian truth.

The fact remains, however, that
tradition has accurately recorded

early Christian writings and cus-
toms which reflect the life and
teaching of Jesus. Among these are
references to the sanctity of matri-

mony.

Tertullian, for example, writing

in the early part of the third cen-

tury, said: "Where shall we find
power to declare the happiness of
that marriage which the Church
arranged, the offering confirms, the

blessing seals, the angels proclaim

and the Father ratifies?" St. Am-
brose declared in the fourth century

that marriage is sanctified by Christ
in the Savior’s words: "They shall
be two in one flesh.”

If Christ did not regard marriage

as a sanctified state, why did He
refer to the union of man and wife
as "What God hath joined to-
gether”? For if God joins man and
wife together, matrimony is the re-
sult of a divine act whether the

Scriptures say so specifically or not.

And if such a union were not
sacred in the eyes of God, why
should He warn "let no man put
asunder”?

Christ gave us each of the Sacra-

ments for a special purpose. They
are to provide grace for human
needs—to help and strengthen and
purify us. Is it reasonable to be-

lieve that Christ, knowing the
many complexities and problems of
married life, would fail to provide
a Sacrament to meet the needs of
such an important part of our lives?

11



Catholics are strongly fortified for

the problems of married life by

the realization of the Sacramental

character of their marriage. They
recognize that matrimony is not
merely the union of a man and
woman . . . not merely a contract
between two individuals . . . but a
union and a contract between the
husband and the wife in which they
intimately cooperate with God.

There are good marriages, of
course, between men and women
outside the Catholic Church who
are not willing to concede that

matrimony is a Sacrament, but who
do regard it as a holy state. Un-
fortunately, however, large num-
bers of people embark upon mar-

ried life as if it were a purely

materialistic career concerning only

themselves, and with its success

being largely a matter of luck. It

is marriages of this sort which

cause so many broken hearts and
homes.

If you are planning marriage, we
urge you to consider this step as

a great adventure — not merely an
adventure with your partner in

marriage, but an adventure with

Christ. And if you are already
married . . . and not making a suc-
cess of it ... it is not too late to

seek the grace of Christ which will

help to put your family life on a
firm and contented basis.

".
. . since, everything must be referred to the law and mind of God, in

order to bring about the universal and permanent restoration of marriage,
it is indeed of the utmost importance that the faithful shotild be well

instructed concerning matrimony; both by word of mouth and by the
written word, not cursorily but often and fully, by means of plain and
weighty arguments, so that these truths will strike the intellect and will

be deeply engraved on their hearts. Let them realize and diligently reflect
upon the great wisdom, kindness, and bounty God has shown towards
the human race, not only by the institution of marriage, but also, and
quite as much, by upholding it with sacred laws; still more, in wonder-

fully raising it to 'the dignity of a Sacrament by which such an abundant
fountain of graces has been opened to those joined in Christian wedlock

that these may be able to serve the noble purposes of wedlock for their
own welfare and for that of their children, of the community and also
for that of human relationship.” Pius XI.

12



Many a home has broken up
over a conflict of authority between
husband and wife ... or through the

failure of one or the other to as-
sume his or her share of family
obligations.

This need not happen if there
is a proper understanding of the

distinctive part God has designed
for the husband and the wife to
play in the family life.

The family needs a head, and
God designed man for that role.
He is endowed, for instance, with
greater physical strength than the

woman, so that he may till the soil
and perform the many other chores
of the family bread-winner. He is
not only stronger, but more ag-
gressive and combative, so that he
may be able to defend the lives
of his loved ones and the family
property against predatory attacks.

Woman is different from man
not only in the structure and con-
formation of her body, but in the

talents with which God has es-
pecially endowed her for her part
in the family life. It will always

be true in marriage that the great-

est giving will be on the part of
the wife. For through pregnancy
and child raising, she loses much
of the independence which it is the
man’s privilege to retain.

Despite these divine specifica-

tions regarding the respective duties

of the husband and wife, it is not
an easy thing for a man and woman
to get along together. Those plan-
ning marriage, therefore, must be-
gin with a great deal more than
mutual infatuation if they are to
make a success of their family life.

The family relationship is a
dynamic one — a living, moving,
maturing thing. It is not like the
static relationship between a nut
and bolt or a set of gears. The
man and the woman must become
one flesh. Their two lives must be
fused into one and yet remain in-
dividually vital. They must be
joined together without any loss of

personality.

To make this possible, the two
sexes must not only attract each
other, but they must also repel
each other. This, of course, sounds

contradictory but it isn’t. It is

normal, for instance, for a man to

13



be attracted to a woman, yet no
normal man would want to live in
a scented boudoir or adopt femi-

nine habits. It is also normal for
a woman to be attracted to a man,
yet she is repelled by various forms
of masculinity. A man may love a
woman but he doesn’t want to be
womanly. A woman may love a
man but she doesn’t want to be
manly.

There are in family life mascu-
line responsibilities which natural-
ly are within the province of the

husband. And there are feminine
responsibilities, of which child-
bearing is one, that are the obli-

gations of the wife. But in matters
involving any joint enterprise, God
has designed man to be the leader
and woman to serve in a support-
ing and cooperative capacity.

The nearest we can come to de-
fining the difference between the
love of a man for a woman and
a woman for a man, is that a man’s
love must be considerate and the
woman’s love acquiescent.

The man who assumes the right,
as head of the family, to be a petty

tyrant, is obviously not considerate.

Nor is the wife properly acquies-
cent who rejects the supporting role
which God has assigned to her in
His family plan. Sacrifice and great
charity are needed on the part of
both, and where these qualities are
lacking we ofteij see either the
man or the woman, or both, in-
vading the rights of the other and
neglecting their own obligatiAis
as well.

No sensible person could look
into the eyes of his own baby and

believe that this wonderful crea-
ture could be an effect of which he
and his wife were the sole cause.
Instead, the intelligent parent

realizes that God has fashioned a
new body and soul . . . and that the
part played by the parents in its
production was really only a small
part.

Common sense and a due
measure of humility remind par-
ents that the child is a gift of

God . . . that God has enlisted the
aid of the parents to bring this

life into the world . . . and that God
has come into the family life as
the partner in a great enterprise.

In this partnership between God
and the family, there must be a
complete and abiding trust. And
there must be a firm trust between
the husband and wife. This point

is well illustrated by the story of

a young married man who wished
to assure his wife that she could

place her trust in him.

"The strength of our family,’’

he said, "will not depend upon my
right arm, my foresight or my
courage. If there is any reason why
you can and should trust me as
your husband, it is because I myself

trust God. With God in our home'
to help us, we have no reason to
fear what the future may bring to
our lives and our family. I am the
head of the family in one sense,

but in a larger way both you and
I are merely the agents of God —
and God is the head.’’

No, God did not establish the
institution called family life and

then abandon it entirely to the care

14



and custody of men. Instead, He
oflFers the unlimited bounty of His

mercy and grace to all men and
women who are willing to assume
the obligations of matrimony and

parenthood in the manner and to
the ends for which God has de-
signed them.

There is only one good plan for
successful marriage ... for a secure

and contented family life . . . and
that is Gods plan. Homes are
breaking up all over the land be-
cause men and women either do
not understand — or will not fol-
low — God’s plan.

"Even the very best instruction given by the Church, however,

will not alone suffice to bring about once more conformity of

marriage to the law of God; something more is needed in

addition to the education of the mind, namely a steadfast de-

termination of the will, on the part of husband and wife, to

observe the sacred laws of God and of nature in regard to

marriage. In fine, in spite of what others may wish to assert

and spread abroad by word of mouth or in writing, let husband

and wife resolve: to stand fast to the commandments of God

in all things that matrimony demands; always to render to each

other the assistance of mutual love; to preserve the honour of

chastity; not to lay profane hands on the stable nature of the

bond; to use the rights given them by marriage in a way that

will be always Christian and sacred, more especially in the first

years of wedlock, so that should there be need of continency

afterwards, custom will have made it easier for each to preserve

it. In order that they may make this firm resolution, keep it

and put it into practice, an oft-repeated consideration of their

state of life, and a diligent reflection on the sacrament they

have received, will be of great assistance to them. Let them

constantly keep in mind, that they have been sanctified and

strengthened for the duties and for the dignity of their state

by a special sacrament, the efficacious power of which, although

it does not impress a character, is undying.” Pius XL

15



THE CHILDREN

-

I CENTER OF FAMILY CONCERN
I I®
InnnnnnnnnnrinreirinnnnnnnnrvT^^

George Bernard Shaw once said
that if a man could live 300 years
he would know- everything. "Yes,”
Gilbert K. Chesterton remarked,

"and if Shaw lived 300 years he
would be a Catholic.”

Shaw was, of course, making the
point that history tends to repeat

itself. In any 300-year period, he

believed, all theories and revolu-
tions prove themselves either true

or untrue, either sane or insane.

Chesterton had in mind, of course,

that anyone who could have lived
300 years would have seen the
logic of Christianity repeatedly re-

asserting itself. He would also see
the need for an unchanging Church
to perpetuate that logic through

the centuries as the Catholic Church
has done.

Viewing marriage as they so
often see it today, many young
people wonder if the risks of matri-
mony are not too great. But truly
to understand marriage, we must
see it from the big view — from a
perspective covering generations.

Looking at it that way, we can
realize that married life should not

be what it so often appears to be

in our modern life, but instead
something truly beautiful and en-

during.

The principal objective of mar-
riage is, of course, the birth and
rearing of children. It is the failure

to keep this in mind which causes

so many marriage failures and the
scandalous rate of divorce which

prevails today.

Take the case, for instance, of

Bill Smith and Helen Jones on the

one hand, and Tom Barnes and
Millie Carey on the other. Bill and

Helen are in love with each other,

and so are Tom and Millie. All
four of them are young, at the

height of their idealism and vigor.

16



So Bill marries Helen and Tom
marries Millie.

The first few months, perhaps
the first several years, are wonder-

ful — a period occupied mainly with
mumal adoration. But what hap-
pens when the ardor of the honey-
moon has cooled? The natural
tendency is for married people to

’"bank the fire” and try to extend

its quiet warmth for the years
ahead.

In the case of Bill and Helen,

who are childless by choice, life
is a narrow existence in which the
climax has passed and all there is
left is a prolonged anti-climax.

They proceed from youth to old
age and finally to the grave. Their
love story, with all its beginning

promise, ends in tragedy.

But how different is the story
of Tom and Millie. Their romantic
ardor cools, too, when the honey-
moon period has passed. But this
process of events is not tragic for

them because they see their early
vigor renewed in their children.
They, fortunately, have the concep-

tion of marriage that covers gen-

erations, not just a fleeting moment.

Every man and woman ap-
proaching the matrimonial altar is

the possessor of a valuable heritage

of culture, wisdom and Faith. This
inheritance has come to them from
their fathers, who may have suf-
fered unbelievable hardships to

preserve it. Of what values are the
struggles and achievements, the
Faith and the culture of our
fathers, if we allow their influence
to die with their name and their
memory in childless marriage?

Marriage is not merely a union
of the bodies of a man and a
woman. It is also, in Gods plan,
a union of all they possess in
culture, wisdom and Faith ... a
union of all of their talents ... a
union of the entire personality of
each. The parents blessed by this
kind of a union can see all of their
own inherited and acquired quali-
ties renewed and regenerated in

their children. And in this is abund-
ant compensation for their own
declining vigor and ardor.

Without this conception of mar-
riage, the very reason and all of the
adventure of matrimony are lost.
Without it, marriage is merely a
flash in the pan, a thrilling sky-

rocket that soon drops, charred and
dead. If life means no more to us
than that which begins at our birth
and ends with our death, then we
have no right to enter into mar-
riage, for it is not true love that

we can offer a mate. Instead, we are
only asking another to join us in

a requiem — to share our grave.
Certainly no one but the two

people involved can respect a love

that lives and dies so shortly. Christ
surely, in His divinity, would not
have made matrimony a holy union
for such an utterly useless purpose.
How can anyone defend the base
practice of birth control when life
has an eternal significance dating

back to Genesis and extending for-

ward to everlasting union with
God?

Too often in the modern scheme
of things, the child is an obstacle

to the selfish indulgences of the

parents. In the truly Christian

17



scheme of things, the child is the
focus of family concern — the new
messenger, the new apostle, to
carry the flame through another

generation.

Begetting children is only one
of the Christian responsibilities of

parents. Rearing them rightly is
an equally binding obligation. This
is a task which involves a vast
amount of Faith, love, sacrifice and
many duties which at times assume
frightening proportions even for

the most thoroughly consecrated,
patient and efficient parents.

In the ideal Catholic home, the
parents must seek constantly to
train their children in the meaning
of life and its relationship to God.
Christmas does not mean merely
tinsel and toys, but the story of
the birth of Jesus. Easter does not

mean merely a new dress and hat,
a new suit and shoes, but the
glorious story of Christ’s resurrec-

tion and the significance of this
event in the lives of men.

The children are reminded by
the gift-giving at Christmas of

the constant beneficence of God.
Throughout Lent they are made to
realize the positive values of suf-

fering. They are trained to see in
the life of Jesus all of the virmes

of the Christian way of living. They
are made acquainted with the quali-
ties of the Savior and encouraged
to emulate them. They are educated
in their play, and in their little arts,
to a Christian pattern which is the
ultimate plan for their adult life.

God did not make the begetting
of children an easy, simple thing.
It is accompanied by pain for the

mother, fear and worry for the
father. Nor is the proper rearing
of children a lark, as any experi-
enced father and mother knows.
Children don’t behave according to
"the book’’— not even according to
the Bible. Each one is different
from the other — each one is a
problem of his or her own.

People without children usually
can tell you everything about rais-
ing them. And there is no lack of
advice on what to feed a child,
how to regulate his play, what to
do when he misbehaves. Magazines
and newspapers are full of such

counsel, some of it undoubtedly
valuable as a psychological guide

for directing the thoughts and ef-
forts of little ones.

The child who does something
contrary to the wishes of his par-

ents may be moved by weakness,
love, malice, ignorance, fear or im-

itation. Little Mike, for instance,

constantly strays from the neighbor-
hood, and some might call it will-
ful disobedience. Actually, though,

Mike just forgets. He is proceed-
ing from one wonderful experi-
ence to another and he wants to

see everything about him. Even on
the way to the woodshed his fear of
a spanking vanishes when he sees
a passing butterfly.

Children are not, however, either

saints or devils. They usually strike
a happy medium in between. Most
of them in fact, are merely repeat-
ing the things which made the
grown men and women of today
such a nuisance to their parents

many years ago. Whether they are
to develop good habits or bad ones

18



is often determined by the love,

attention and time the parents are
willing to devote to their proper

rearing.

The vogue today in many homes
is merely to tolerate the child in

an adult world, forgetting that it

is a child’s world in which the little
one lives. When they are small, the
children are kept in play pens.

When they cry and disturb Mother
and Dad, they are bribed with toys
to "pipe down.” For their little

problems, they are often treated as

"cases” rather than individuals —
with all the efficiency of a social

worker instead of the loving solici-

tude of a parent.

Marriage and the raising of a
family . . . with all the uncertainties

and hazards it involves ... is too
frightening a prospect for some
people even in quiet times. It is

even more so in these days of the
atom and H bombs, economic un-
easiness, and the violent conflicts
going on among nations and groups
of our modern society.

These hazards are undoubtedly
responsible for the postponement
of many marriages and the tend-
ency to delayed parenthood. Advo-
cates of so-called "planned parent-

hood,” in fact, use the argument of
economic uncertainty as a justi-

fication for their un-Christian fam-
ily limitation program.

Those who allow these hazards
to stand in the way of their mar-
riage... or use them as an excuse
for not begetting children ... are

demonstrating an astonishing lack
of trust not merely in themselves,
but in God.

In giving dominion over the
earth, God gave us the powers to
make it a good world through
Faith, love, intelligence, honesty

and labor ... or a bad world through
unbelief, hate, ignorance, dishonesty

and slothfulness. If the world we
live in today is a bad world, it is
because we are failing the steward-
ship God has entrusted to us.

The way out of this dilemma is
not through race suicide ... as

represented by birth control and
failure to marry . . . any more than
suicide would be the way out of
our personal difficulties.

The answer to the problems of
our times is today ... as it always

has been ... in the Christian home.

Flatreds, war, intolerance and

greed could not flourish as they do
today if we even approached the
Christian ideal in our family life.

And any solution of these problems
will depend upon the extent to
which our children are trained for
living well in the sight of God.

19



We should, therefore, contem-
plate matrimony with respect for
the mighty problems it may im-
pose on us, but with trust in God
that we shall be able to meet these
problems for the benefit of man-
kind. Instead of evading the risks

of marriage, we should regard them
as a challenge to our Christian

spirit and an invitation to serve
God in a very special and blessed
way.

"Yes,” some will say, "that all
sounds nice. But you have to
mortgage your life to pay for

children today. Frank Bell and his

wife have four kids and they’re

broke all the time trying to feed

and clothe them. Harry Sears and

his wife don’t have any children

and they have a brand-new car, are
paying for a home of their own,
and can afford a little fun.”

There is no doubt that a man
and wife raising a family may have
to sacrifice some of their personal
pleasures to provide adequately for

their loved ones. They will have
to perform chores around the house
that they would not have had to
do if they had remained unmarried.
They must carry on their shoulders.

the worry and concern for the
health and safety of their loved
ones. They may have heartaches
that they would not have experi-
enced in single life.

But think of the glorious com-
pensations! We are, first of all,
engaged in a partnership with
Christ. We have the assurances that
God will take care of any and every
problem that is beyond our powers.
We can have children with com-
plete confidence that God will also
be with them. And we know that
in raising a family in accordance

with Christian ideals we are ful-
filling one of the principal purposes
of our existence.

Many marriages that would have
gone on the rocks have been saved
by the coming of children. For in
the eyes of their young, men and
women have seen since the be-
ginning of mankind, the greatest of
God’s creations — a creature with
an immortal soul. Realizing this
. . . and recognizing that God per-
mits us to beget and rear such a
creature . . . should make the secret
of successful marriage an open
secret to all who open their hearts
and minds to the overpowering
fact.

".
. . it cannot be denied that the basis of a happy wedlock, and the ruin

of an unhappy one, is prepared and set in the souls of boys and girls
during the period of childhood and adolescence. There is danger that
those who before marriage sought in all things what is theirs, who
indulged even their impure desires, will be in the married state what
they were before, that they will reap that which they have sown;

(Gal. VI,9); indeed, within the home there will be sadness, lamentation,
mutual contempt, strifes, estrangements, weariness of common life, and,
worst of all, such parties will find themselves left alone with their own
unconquered passions.” Pius XL

20



Is divorce legitimate and proper

when two people cannot make a
"go” of their marriage? Is it right

for a good woman to remain tied
to a no-good husband, when she
might have better luck if given
another chance? Should a good
husband have to spend his lifetime

with a woman he doesn’t love,
respect or trust?

Even some people who profess
to be Christians will maintain that

a divorce is right and proper under

any of these circumstances. And
the civil laws offer only a minor
obstacle to those who really want
to sever their marriage bonds.

The adamant opposition to di-
vorce by the Catholic Church is
often criticized as "old-fashioned,

out-of-date, unrealistic.” The critics
say the Church forces people to
live miserable lives together when
they might find happiness else-
where and be better citizens.

What these critics forget, how-
ever, is that the Catholic Church
does not make any laws of its own
against divorce. Its teaching merely

reiterates the commands of God
and interprets the words of Christ
with respect to the holiness of

matrimony.

It was God, speaking to Adam,
Who declared "They shall be two

in one flesh.” The Catholic Church
did not make this law. It was
Christ, not the Church, Who pro-
claimed that "Whoever shall put
away his wife and marry another,
committeth adultery against her.”^
And God Himself is the author
of the command that man "shall
leave father and mother and cleave
to his wife.”

An analysis of the very nature
of things also makes it obvious that
matrimony is a permanent thing.
A man and woman joining in the
married state personally assume the
responsibility for the care and rear-
ing of any children that may result
from their union. Such care and
rearing require many years. Di-
vorce therefore not only violates

the law as specifically laid down
in Holy Scripture, but it also dis-
regards the laws of nature which

should be apparent even to the

unreligious person.

"What God hath joined together,
let no man put asunder” makes it
abundantly clear that the Church
has absolutely no power to dissolve
a valid Christian marriage in which

two baptized persons have been
united, and where the marriage has

been consummated.

It will surprise many non-Catho-
lics to discover that the Catholic

21



Church recognizes as Sacramental
in character — and indissoluble —
the marriage of two baptized non-
Catholies who are free to marry.
In such cases the Church insists
that there can be no divorce with
the right to remarry, without vio-

lating the divine and natural law.
The fact that the two non-Catholics
concerned do not recognize Catho-
lic Church regulations makes no
difference; for the Church points
out that the violation is not against

the Church but against the laws of
God and the clear intent of nature.

Uninformed and ignorant peo-
ple have insisted at times that the

Catholic Church is not sincere and
consistent in its opposition to di-

vorce, and that people with money
and influence may get the Church’s
approval for a divorce and remar-
riage.

If that were true, Pope Clement
VII would scarcely have refused a
divorce to King Henry VIII, when
the failure to do so caused the
separation of England from the
Catholic Faith. Nor would Pope
Pius VII have suffered imprison-

ment rather than grant Napoleon
a divorce from Josephine.

In more than one case involving
well-known people, the Church has
excommunicated Catholics who di-
vorced their lawful spouse and
married another. Only recently an
heiress who was wed in a Catholic
church and later submitted to a
second ceremony in another de-
nomination in deference to her
husband, was excommunicated. Two
widely-publicized figures, one of
them a Catholic, publicly declared

their intention to marry if each
could secure a divorce from his or
her lawful spouse. If they did so,
the Church maintained, they would
be living in public adultery.

The argument is sometimes made
that Holy Scripture does not en-
tirely support the firm Catholic op-
position to divorce with permission
to remarry. This argument points
out that God permitted men in
the time of Abraham to have sev-
eral wives, and that men could also
divorce a woman for "some un-
cleanness.’’

Two very important facts should
be cited in contradiction, however.
God’s dispensation in this case ap-

parently followed the deluge. And
in no case was a woman permitted
to have more than one husband.

Under the New Law, the Church
is empowered to apply Christ’s
teaching concerning the Sacrament

of matrimony. This authority does

not, however, give the Church the
power to dissolve a marriage which
has been consummated between
two baptized persons.

In certain cases, the Church may
grant a declaration of nullity when
it is conclusively demonstrated that

the persons concerned were never

validly married, a simple example

of which would be the case of a
person abducted and forced into

matrimony against his or her will.

The Church legislation in this re-
spect is highly technical, the pro-

cesses of securing a declaration of

nullity are most complicated and

difficult, and the number of those
granted is so small as to be in-

finitesimal.

22



The Catholic Church cannot
modify its regulations with respect

to marriage and divorce to conform

to the trends of the times. Holy

Scripture declares the married state

to be a permanent one. It lays down
specific commands against the dis-
solution of the marital bonds. The
Church, instituted by Christ to carry

His teaching from one generation

to another, cannot change Christ’s

commandments to adapt them to
the wishes, the whims, or the sins

of any single generation.

If you are married and having

trouble with your spouse, you may
have thought that divorce would

be the best solution of your prob-

lem. If you wish to live according

to the law of God and the plain

law of nature, you will abandon
such a thought and earnestly direct
your efforts to making your mar-
riage a success instead of breaking

it up. '

If you are contemplating mar-

riage, we pray that you will view
it as a lifetime contract—not some-

thing to be shed like an old coat

when the cuffs become frayed. Even
if you are not a Catholic, it will be
worth while for you to investigate

and understand the Catholic regul-

lations concerning marriage ... to

know the Sacramental character of
the matrimonial state ... to realize

the obligations of this partnership

which you plan to enter not merely
with the mate of your choice, but

with God Himself.

".
. . let it be repeated as an immutable and inviolable fundamental

doctrine that matrimony was not instituted or restored by man but by
God; not by man were the laws made to strengthen and confirm and
elevate it but by God, the Author of nature, and by Christ our Lord

by whom nature was redeemed, and hence these laws cannot be subject
to any human decrees or to any contrary pact even of the spouses
themselves . .

.”

"Yet although matrimony is of its very nature of divine institution,

the human will, too, enters into it and performs a most noble part. For
each individual marriage, inasmuch as it is a conjugal union of a particular

man and woman, arises only from the free consent of each of the spouses;
and this free act of the will, by which each party hands over and accepts

those rights proper to the state of marriage, is so necessary to constitute

true marriage that it cannot be supplied by any human power. This
freedom, however, regards only the question whether the contracting

parties really wish to enter upon matrimony or to marry this particular
person; but the nature of matrimony is entirely independent of the

free-will of man, so that if one has once contracted matrimony, he is

thereby subject to its divinely made laws and its essential properties.’’
Pius XL

23



IT TAKES A GOOD MAN
AND A GOOD WOMAN

Successful marriage isn’t easy —
even under the most favorable cir-
cumstances.

There are all sorts of practical,

everyday problems in connection

with the combination of a man and
a woman, and many special and
most difficult ones which are not
foreseeable. Matrimony can be a
truly happy and purposeful state
only when there is a complete and
mutual giving of love, respect

and cooperation supported by an

unquestioned and unquestioning

Christian faith.

Physical and moral competency

are important requirements for

marital success. Without these
qualifications, the primary purpose

of matrimony—the begetting and
rearing of children—may be de-
feated. The proper rearing of chil-
dren would also be impaired by
the lack of moral competency on
the part of one or both parents.

Marriage must, therefore, be ap-
proached not only as a spiritual

state, but as a practical one as
well. The husband must have both
the will and the competence to
provide for the material needs of

his wife and children. The wife
must be able to fulfill the practical
obligations of motherhood — main-
taining the home, caring for the
children and acting in general as

a helpmate to her husband in every
phase of family life.

Some Christians maintain that
Holy Scripmre gives approval to
divorce and remarriage in cases of
infidelity. The Catholic Church
agrees that adultery on the part of
one spouse or the other may be
justification for separation by the
innocent party, but not with the

right to marry again.

The records of the modern di-.
vorce courts, however, reveal some
of the flimsiest and often false

bases of appeals for the breaking

of the marital bond. The husband
doesn’t earn enough money . . . the
wife refuses to darn socks and sew

on buttons . . . the husband is a
’’crab,” the wife a "nag.”

Sometimes the husband squan-

ders his weekly paycheck in a bar

or at the races . . . the wife buys

personal finery beyond the hus-

band’s means . . . the husband ex-

pects the wife to fire the furnace,

or the wife refuses to prepare the

husband’s early breakfast.

Modern divorce laws make it
pretty easy and simple for two

people to get a divorce if they

really want it. In some states one
will merely charge the other with

"mental cruelty,” the lawyers make
a property settlement in advance.

24



and when the case is called the
divorce is usually granted without

the "cruel” member of the partner-
ship even appearing to deny the

charge.

The husband who wants to make
a success of his marriage must

realize that he will be called upon

to do many things that would not
have been expected of him as a
single man. The wife must realize
the same. And both must recognize
that they may have to give up cer-
tain of the privileges and liberties

they formerly enjoyed.

The husband will have to be
industrious to supply the family’s

daily needs by his labors. He will
have to be ambitious to improve

his earning capacity to meet the
increasing requirements of clothing,

education and pleasure of the chil-

dren as they grow up and costs in-
crease. If his income is not sufficient
to provide adequately for his family

and still enjoy little pleasures of
his own, he must sacrifice his own
enjoyment for the welfare of his

dependents.

The responsibilities of a woman
are no less, but in a different direc-
tion. She cannot fairly or properly

expect her husband to perform the
labors and services which are in
the proper sphere of the wife. If

the husband’s income is not suffi-
cient to indulge her wishes for the

kind of dresses, hats and shoes

she would like to have, she must
reconcile herself to the reality and
not destroy the peace of the home
by her unreasonable and impossible

demands.

A man and woman entering the
married state give themselves one

to the other "for better or for

worse, in sickness and in health,
until death do us part.” This means
a sharing of whatever may come —
poverty or wealth, sickness or

health, fancy clothes or homespun.

It is not a true marriage, nor likely

to succeed, when a woman marries
a man for his money, or a man
chooses a mate for her social

position.

Fruitful and lasting marriage is
largely a matter of love and Faith.

When there is genuine love and a
consecrated Faith, the practical

problems of life are not too diffi-

cult to meet and conquer. When
these qualities are lacking, even the

smallest personality differences will

often bring discord and destruction

to a marriage and family life.

"In laws” have been the cause

of many marriage crackups, and
are sometimes blamed when they
are not at fault. It is clearly the

duty of both the husband and the

wife to recognize that the other

has relatives for whom there should
be mutual respect and considera-

tion. This does not mean, however,

that the relatives of either should

have a voice in the affairs of a

husband and wife, for Holy Scrip-
ture directs that a man leave his
father and his mother "and cleave

25



to his wife." This applies, of course,

to the wife also.

There are times when even the
most devoted husband and wife
have their differences. Maybe the
baby cried all night and the parents
were worried and short-tempered.
A petty spat follows. Perhaps the
husband is down in the dumps
when he sees the next door neigh-
bors with a new car and he can’t
afford one. Or the wife sees Mrs.
Brown with a smart new dress and
would like one but can’t have it.
The husband may be slow, quiet,

easy-going and the wife volatile,
exuberant, and impetuous — and
these personality differences may at
times be provoking to one or the
other. One may have a livelier
sense of humor and overdo it now
and then at the other’s expense.
One may be patient, the other just
the opposite.

These and countless other big
and little differences can cause pain
and discord in the family life. But
where love and Faith prevail . .

.

where there is a proper understand-
ing of the mutual character of the

marriage relationship . . . where hus-
band and wife are truly "two in one

flesh’’— these differences never lead
to the divorce court.

The fact that the husband is the
recognized head of the wife does
not mean that he may impose his
every whim, opinion and will on
her without regard for her rights
and position as his wife. His leader-
ship is to serve the mutual interest
and welfare of his wife and him-
self and any children born of their
union.

It happens often that the wife
becomes the actual head of the
house by virtue of the weakness of
her husband. In some cases, this is
the salvation of a marriage. It hap-

pens also that domineering women
sometimes uslirp the husband’s

headship with disastrous results.

Under God’s specific directions
. . . and in accordance with the law
of nature . . . matrimony is a mutual
relationship founded upon love.
Faith and the physical attraction of

a man and a woman for each other.
Its success depends upon the will-
ingness and the ability of both

parties to fulfill their respective

obligations. It takes a good man
and a good woman to make a
good marriage.

".
. . the sacred partnership of true marriage is constituted both by the

will of God and the will of man. From God comes the very institution

of marriage, the ends for which it was instituted, the laws that govern

it, the blessings that flow from it; while man, through generous surrender

of his own person made to another for the whole span of life, becomes,

with the help and cooperation of God, the author of each particular

marriage, with the duties and blessings annexed thereto from divine

institution.” Pius XL

26



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Naturally you are excited, thrilled

— maybe a little scared.
You probably are skittering about

making plans—the wedding clothes,
a reception, the honeymoon. Per-
haps you’re going from one store
to another looking at furniture, and
chasing all over town looking for
a place to live.

You probably have a long list
of things to do before the fateful
day rolls around . . . and while you
are convinced everything can’t be

ready in time, you almost wish the
day was to be sooner than the date
you have set.

There is, of course, a lot of
planning and preparation for a
wedding. But have you made the
most important preparations of all?
Are you going to approach mar-
riage merely as a romantic adven-
ture for yourself and your intended,
or as a venture with Christ?

Catholic young people are cau-
tioned by the Church that marriage
is one of the most important steps
they will ever take. They are ad-
vised to think well and at length
on the exalted holiness of matri-
mony and the many spiritual as
well as practical problems the mar-
riage union involves.

While the Church addresses it-

self mainly to the young men and
women within its own fold, the
good advice given Catholic young
people can be profitably followed

by baptized non-Catholic men and
women too.

The Church reminds those plan-
ning marriage that it is a Sacra-

ment, a holy union which is
symbolic of the union between
Christ and His Church. It is in-
tended not merely as a state of life

pleasing to the couple involved,

but as a contribution to the welfare

and progress of the human race.

The point is emphasized that
marriage will demand many hard-
ships and sacrifices on the part of
the husband and wife, but regard-
less of what may come, they must
give each other their constant and

27



undivided love and cooperation as

long as both live.

The Church reminds potential
newlyweds of the practical aspects

of marriage also . . . that the man
should be certain of steady em-
ployment — that the new family
should, if possible, establish a home
of its own — that the prospective
husband should seriously consider

the qualifications of the prospective

bride to fulfill the obligations of

the married state, and that the girl

should similarly assess the apparent

virtues of the prospective husband

in this regard.

Catholic young people are coun-
seled not to marry in haste, but

also not to allow minor obstacles
to delay a marriage unduly. Young
people are advised that the period

of courtship was designed by God
to be a period of happiness for

lovers, but that emotional impulses

must be restrained so there may be
no defilement of the pure and

beautiful sentiments which should
prevail.

Love at first sight happens fre-
quently in romantic fiction, and it

may happen in real life. Usually,
however, it is merely a case of at-

traction at first sight and the love

comes only after a period of com-
panionship. Most sensible young
people want their family and
friends to meet the new-found
lover, and it is only fair and rea-

sonable that this be arranged.

The "old-fashioned” custom of
asking the parents’ consent to marry

their daughter is still recommended
by the Church. And the parents of
the prospective groom should like-

wise be informed of his plans. This
is urged not merely as a matter of
filial respect, but also because

parents often can give wise advice

which may benefit their own son
and daughter, and his or her in-
tended. When such advice is ob-
viously not right, or is dictated by
the selfish interest of a jealous

parent, it may properly be disre-
garded.

As the wedding day approaches,
the Church counsels the betrothed
pair to intensify their spiritual ac-

tivities by the more regular re-
ception of the Sacraments and by
prayer. Thirty days or more before
the wedding, the pastor of the

parish in which the bride lives is
notified of the intention to marry

and arrangements are made for the
Nuptial Mass, which takes place in

the bride’s parish. If the groom
lives in another parish, his pastor

is also notified, as the announce-

ments (banns) proclaiming the

marriage, must be made public in
both parishes.

It is possible, of course, for two

young people to be married with-

out all this preparation. But in the

eyes of the Catholic Church, mar-

riage is sacred and serious. It is

first of all, the formation of a

partnership between God and a
man and a woman for the trans-
mission of human life — for the
birth of a body which will be the

temple of a soul. Secondly, it is

a Sacrament through which flows

the grace of God to help men and
women properly to meet the re-
sponsibilities of married life.

And finally, what the priest says

28



to the bride and groom at the
Wedding Mass is the kind of advice
which should greatly help any
couple planning marriage. Here are
the words addressed to every couple

married in the Catholic Church:

"My dear friends: You are about
to enter into a union which is most
sacred and most serious.

"It is most sacred because es-
tablished by God Himself; most
serious, because it will bind you

together for life in a relationship

so close and so intimate, that it
will profoundly influence your

whole future. That future, with its
hopes and disappointments, its suc-
cesses and failures, its pleasures and
pains, its joys and sorrows, is hid-
den from your eyes.

"You know that these elements
are mingled in every life, and they
are to be expected in your own.
And so, not knowing what is before
you, you take each other for better
or worse, for richer or for poorer,

in sickness and in health, until
death.

"Truly, then, these words are
most serious. It is a beautiful tri-
bute to your undoubted faith in
each other, that recognizing their

full import, you are, nevertheless,
so willing and so ready to pro-
nounce them. Because these words
involve such solemn obligations, it
is most fitting that you rest the
security of your wedded life upon
the great principle of self-sacrifice.

And so you begin your married life
by the voluntary and complete sur-

render of your individual lives in

the interest of that wider and deep-
er life which you are to have in
common.

"Henceforth you will belong to
each other; you will be one in mind,

one in heart, and one in affections.
And whatever sacrifices you may
hereafter be required to make to
preserve this mutual life, always

make them graciously. Sacrifice is
usually difficult and irksome. Only
love can make it easy; and perfect
love can make it a joy. We are
willing to give in proportion as

we love. And when love is perfect,
the sacrifice is complete. God so
loved the world that He gave His
Only begotten Son: and the Son
so loved us that He gave Himself
for our salvation. Greater love

than this no man hath, that he
lay down his life for his friends.’

"No greater blessing can come
to your married life than pure

conjugal love, loyal and true to
the end. May, then, this love with

which you join your hands and
hearts never fail, but grow deeper
and stronger as the years go on.
And if true love and the unselfish
spirit of self-sacrifice guide your

every action, you can expect the
greatest measure of earthly happi-

ness that may be allotted to man
in this vale of tears. The rest is in
the hands of God. Nor will God be
wanting in your needs; He will
pledge you to life-long support of

His graces in the Holy Sacrament
which you will receive.”

29



You might imagine . . . from lis-
tening to its sponsors . . . that so-

called “Planned Parenthood” is

something scientific, something

new, and something of great bene-

fit to family life.

Actually, it is nothing more nor
less than birth control under a

different and more popular name.
It isn’t new, for the pagans in the

days of the Roman Empire prac-
ticed it to their near-destruction.

And it isn’t beneficial to family
life, for it strikes a death blow at

the very purpose of marriage —
the begetting of children.

God did not endow men and
women with the mutual attraction
of sex for their personal physical

pleasure. The element of desire and
gratification was added to the sexual

relationship so that men would ex-
ercise this physical power for the

propagation and perpetuation of

the human race.

Those who advocate so-called
planned parenthood are proposing

that men and women enjoy the
pleasures of sex indulgence, which

is in accordance with the law of

nature, but practice contraception,

which is in complete defiance of

the natural law. Contraception is a

frustration and perversion of na-

ture, in which a human faculty is
misused and abused.

Birth control is not only a sin-

ful violation of the natural law, but

the cause of many family catastro-
phes. It is an evil which not only
prevents life, but often exacts a

tragic toll upon the physical and
spiritual health of those who prac-
tice it.

The Catholic Church stands al-
most alone as an uncompromising
opponent of birth control. The
position of the Church with respect

to this practice is clearly set forth

in a letter of Pope Pius XI on the
subject of Christian marriage,

which says:

“Any use whatsoever of matri-

mony exercised in such a way
that the act is deliberately frus-

trated in its natural power to gen-

erate life is an offense against the

law of God and of nature, and
those who indulge in such are
branded with the guilt of grave

sin.”

The advocates of planned parent-

hood argue that it is wrong for

people to have children in numbers

beyond their means; also that large

families often tax and injure the

health of the mother and therefore

constitute a human and economic

30



waste. They imply, if not in so
many words, that the begetting of
children should be on a planned
basis in keeping with the mental,

physical and financial qualifications.

If the birth-controllers had their
way, millions of men and women
would be disqualified from the na-
tural right to have children. Many
others who might wish for a large
family would have to be content
with a small one. And the world
would be taking a short cut to
race suicide.

A favorite argu-
ment of the planned
parenthood crowd is
to blame large fami-
lies for the high

mortality rate, undernourishment
and other deficiencies occurring in
slum and tenement areas. The truth
is, of course, that it is the poverty

of these people and not their large
families which cause such condi-
tions. Slums do not give an environ-
ment conducive to the health of
children, whether there are ten in
the family or one or two.

As many of the advocates of
birth control call themselves Chris-

tian, husbands and wives are often
led to believe that there is nothing
wrong with birth control in the
eyes of God. The fact is, however,
that the practice is definitely and
absolutely a violation of the na-

tural law, given us by God ... a
violation of the Sacrament of
matrimony, which designates mar-
riage as a holy state . . . and a direct
offense against God as Holy Scrip-
ture reveals in the case of Onan.

Onan was guilty of the first
recorded instance of birth preven-

tion, which is the same as birth
control and planned parenthood.
Any Christian who believes that
birth control is not sinful should

read Verses 9 and 10, Chapter 38,
Book of Genesis.

The birth-controllers try to argue
that the Catholic Church itself,
while condemning the use of con-
traceptives, actually recommends a
birth-control plan of its own. This
is not correct. What the Catholic
Church recommends . . . and this ap-
plies particularly if there are grave

reasons why conception should be
avoided ... is not birth-control, but

self-control.

In Catholic eyes, the enjoyment

of sex pleasure by husband and
wife is not in itself wrong, since

such pleasure is not wrong when
married people are no longer fertile
because of old age or some other
natural cause. But the pleasurable
aspects of this relationship are sec-

ondary to the first purpose which
must never be deliberately excluded,

and the Church condemns any act
or the use of any device, which
frustrates the purpose of conception

while permitting mere physical
gratification.

Birth-control is sometimes ad-

vocated as an aid to health, an

example being that a husband and
wife need this relationship so as to

31



promote and express their Chris-
tian love, but the wife is physically

unprepared for the sufferings of

childbirth.

The Catholic Church, on the
other hand, maintains that contra-

ception is a perversion of nature

and may be filled with grave risks
to the physical as well as the

spiritual health of those persistently

practicing such acts. The Catholic
view is strongly supported in the
following opinion of an eminent

non-Catholic doctor;

"There is no doubt whatsoever
that from a medical, neurological
and psychological point of view,

the Christian ideal of marriage is

best and, wherever observed, will

have the happiest results. Although
injury to health need not necessar-

ily result from the use of contra-
ceptive devices, as a matter of fact

their use does often result indirect-

ly in sterility and cancer. Birth

control through interruption of the

marriage act, if continued over a

long period, will inevitably pro-

duce disorders in the nervous and
psychological spheres, and in this
medical opinion is unanimous.”

Christian parents, whether they

are Catholics or not, cannot in

good conscience practice contracep-
tion, regardless of the economic or
social reasons which may be ad-
vanced in its support. God did not
say that the laborer and the banker
may both gratify their natural
sexual pleasures at will, but that

the laborer may have only one
child and the banker six.

A modern Catholic mother once
described artificial birth control as

ugly — something that places the
wife "in a position of a legal
prostitute.” The physical enjoy-
ment, she said, is the secondary
privilege of married life. "The first
is the noble and sacred privilege
of becoming, with God, cooperators
in the production of human life.
While the first is more important,
it by no means eliminates either
the effect or the necessity of the

secondary.”

The sex relationship is an ugly,
sordid, sinful thing only when it
is abused and misused . . . only when
its sacred purpose is defiled by lust
. . . only when its natural processes
are interrupted and defeated by
unnatural means.

The husband and wife who defy
this natural law are defying God’s
express command. They are rejec-
ting the partnership God offers
them in the greatest adventure
marriage provides. Many of the
great saints, philosophers, poets,

artists and leaders who have helped
to build modern civilization would
never have been born if their par-
ents had listened to the birth-
controllers, for many of them were
children of large families — and
born in poverty.

Christ, as every Christian knows,

felt a special love for and interest
in little children. How, then, can
any Christian husband and wife

proclaim a loyalty to the Savior

while desecrating the process of

nature which brings children into

the world?

If this sinful practice is marring

your married life, is it not time

to stop and think and change your

ways?

32



WHAT DO PRIESTS KNOW

ABOUT MARRIAGE, ANYWAY?

The teachings and regulations of
the Catholic Church concerning
marriage are often resented.

Some don’t like the Church’s
stand against mixed marriages.
Others call the Church arrogant
and domineering for insisting that

the non-Catholic party to a mixed
marriage agree to raise the children

Catholic. And divorced people
often complain that the Church
stands in the way of a remarriage
which would mean happiness for
them.

The Church’s opposition to birth
control, sometimes plausibly called

"planned parenthood,” and its re-
fusal to approve divorce, are among
the other causes of complaint. The
critics, of course, are usually those

who are personally affected by the
Church’s interpretation of the di-

vine laws.

Before attempting to answer
these objections, let us first answer
the question: Jusf who and what
is the Catholic Church? Is it
merely an organization or society
created by a group of people in
accordance with principles and
practices which they deem worthy?

No, the Catholic Church is the
Church instituted by Jesus Christ
Himself . . . the Church to which

Christ entrusted His commands and
teachings for the people of all

time... the Church which the
Savior said should go forth and
"teach all nations”. . . the Church
which Christ promised would en-
dure to the end of time and which
would be guaranteed against error.

Backing up this claim is the
publicly recorded history of the

Church from the time of Peter,
the first Pope, down through the
centuries to the present time — the
only Church in the world which
speaks in every tongue to the peo-

ple of every race and nation . . . the

only Church which is truly apostolic
in origin and mission and truly
universal and Catholic . . . the only

Church wherein reposes the proof
positive of all of the promises and

prophecies of Holy Scripture, and
the fulfillment of all of the age-old

records of Christian tradition.

People of other Christian allegi-

ance will, of course, dispute this

claim. Some will assert that the
"Church” is an invisible thing which

encompasses all of the believers and

followers of Christ regardless of

the congregation in which they
worship. This contention, however,

loses its validity in the fact of the

record of history, and for the added
reason that there is no unanimity

33



of belief or creed among the pro-
fessing Christians who claim to be-
long to this invisible Church.

From this point, we can proceed
to the fact that marriage is a

Sacrament instituted by Christ to
provide grace. The Catholic Church
— the Church of Christ — is alone
vested with Christs authority to

administer the Sacraments. It is,

therefore, the duty of the Church
to make sure that the Sacrament is
properly administered. This re-

quires certain procedures, rules and
regulations, but these Church laws
do not and cannot change the di-
vine laws to suit the changing

whims of individuals or the chang-
ing patterns of social life.

It is not intolerance or lack of

respect for the non-Catholic party

which causes the Church to oppose
mixed marriages . . . but concern for
the spiritual welfare of the Catholic

involved. The unity of mind and
heart which should exist between
husband and wife is absent in such

cases. Centuries of experience have

demonstrated that the faith of the

Catholic spouse may be under-
mined, and that the children of such

marriages often do not follow the
Catholic Faith.

The Church reluctantly permits
Catholics to marry a non-Catholic,

when the latter agrees to a binding
promise that all of the children will

be baptized and brought up in the
Catholic religion. The non-Catholic
is also required to give a moral

guarantee that there will be no in-

terference with the faith of the

Catholic. And there must be no other

marriage ceremony excepting that
of the Catholic Church.

Certainly if the Catholic Faith

is the True Faith, it is the duty of
the Church to prevent its sons and
daughters from losing this Faith.
Mixed marriages constitute a threat
against the spiritual welfare of the

Catholic involved and the legisla-
tion of the Church concerns itself
with this danger.

Experience proves that a non-

Catholic spouse may sincerely agree
to raise his or her children in the

Catholic Faith, but is not qualified

to do so and the children too often
pay no attention to religion what-
ever. The Church cannot allow this
to happen without having failed in
its duty to the specific commission

of Christ.

People whose matrimonial plans
are in conflict with the teaching

and the laws of the Catholic Church

are inclined to resent the priest, who
explains these laws and insists upon
their fulfillment. "What,” they de-

mand, "does a priest know about
married life? He doesn’t marry and
he doesn’t have any of the problems

of family life.”

Jesus Christ, of course, did not

marry either. Yet He laid down the
laws for holy matrimony. And when
the priest explains the position of

the Church on any marriage ques-

tion, he is not merely a sociologist

or matrimonial counselor giving out

advice, but an authorized represen-

tative of Christ explaining and in-

terpreting the divine laws.

The argument is also made that
the Catholic Church is opposed to

34



mixed marriages, and wants all mar-

riages performed by a Catholic

priest, merely because the Church

wants to keep up its membership
as an organized society. The answer
to this should be quite clear to

any intelligent and fair-minded

person.

Christ has charged the Church
with the responsibility to preach

the Gospel to all men, of all times,

everywhere. This means that the
Church must strive constantly not
only to maintain the faith of those

who willingly come to Christ
through the Sacraments, but un-

ceasingly to seek out and by per-
suasion bring into the True Fold

the unwilling, the rebellious and
the sinful. In the face of such an

obligation, the Church would be
obviously derelict in its duty to

God if it permitted souls to be lost
by their failure to follow the divine
law in such a holy adventure as

matrimony.

It is undoubtedly true, as some
complain, that the Church’s restric-

tions with respect to matrimony
sometimes constitute a hardship on
those who want to revise the laws

to fit their particular conditions. But

is it God and the Church which
create these hardships, or is it the

individuals concerned in the mar-
riage? This is another question

which answers itself for all who
acknowledge that divine laws have

been laid down for the Sacrament
of matrimony.

The parish priest who refuses to
approve the second marriage of a
person who had previously con-
tracted a true marriage which was
followed by divorce, is not being
unjust or obstinate in his attitude.

He is merely insisting that the par-
ties involved obey the divine laws.
And he could not lend the holy
offices of the Church to the ap-
proval of a marriage which defies
those laws.

”... that they may not deplore for the rest of their lives the sorrows
arising from an indiscreet marriage, those about to enter into wedlock
should carefully deliberate in choosing the person with whom hence-
forward they must live continually; they should, in so deliberating, keep
before their minds the thought first of God and of the true religion of
Christ, then of themselves, of their parents, of the children to come,

as also of human and civil society, for which wedlock is a fountain head.
Let them diligently pray for divine help, so that they make their choice
in accordance with Christian prudence, not indeed led by the blind and
unrestrained impulse of lust, nor by any desire of riches or other base
influence, but by a true and noble love and by a sincere affection for
the future partner; and then let them strive in their married life for
those ends for which the state was constituted by God.” Pius XI.

35



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I
WHAT DD YOU MEAN

I “A HOME DF YDUH DWN?”
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Young married people get all ex-
cited when they’re planning to buy
or build a home of their own.

They tell their friends all about
their plans for decorating the din-

ing room . . . building a barbecue pit
in the back yard . . . dressing up a
rathskeller in the basement ... pro-
viding an attractive playroom for
the babies-to-be. They make all
sorts of sacrifices to save money so
they can pay off the mortgage as
soon as possible.

All this is fine, of course. But it
isn’t the size of the rooms, the

comforts and conveniences, the lo-
cation of the house that really

makes a home. For the home is a
house of God, and it can be a place
of joy, security and beauty only “if
God is made a part and a partner
of the family life.

The home is not a modern in-
vention established by men to sell
bricks and lumber and furniture.
It is an instimtion created by God
Himself as the basis for our society

... as the birthplace and school for
our children ... as the "command
post’’ which controls the lives of
those within its walls.

The divine law for the preserva-
tion of the home says, first of all,
that it must be indestructible, or

indissoluble. Divorce defies this
law. It is, in God’s plan, a place of
union for the Christian love of a
man and a woman and the birth-
place of their children. Infidelity

despoils the Christian love of hus-

band and wife. Birth control defies
the divine law for the procreation

of new life.

The home, according to God’s
plan, is a place where the father

and mother will impart their love

of God and their understanding of
His will to their children. Yet our

modern society is sorely afflicted by
juvenile delinquency, by adult im-

morality, and by the evasion of

religious duties because too many
parents are failing in this vital

aspect of family life.

"A dining room table,’’ said
Simeon Strunsky, "with children’s

eager, hungry faces around it, ceases

to be a mere dining room table and
becomes an altar.’’

"Christ,” said the Rev. John A.

O’Brien, Ph. D., of the University

of Notre Dame, "should be the

Head of every home, the Witness
of every deed, the Auditor of every

spoken word, the Reader of every

thought in the silent kingdom of

the soul.”

36



Many modern-day mothers seem
to be greatly relieved when they
have bundled the children up and
sent them off to school for the day.
It is impossible, however, for par-

ents to transfer more than a small
part of the responsibility for the

education of their children to any

school. For the true Christian edu-

cation of a child does not consist

merely of the acquisition of infor-

mation concerning the history, arts

and habits of the human family.
Much of the Christian education
that should be provided is by ex-
ample, and principally by the ex-
ample of consecrated Christian
parents.

"In order to obtain perfect edu-

cation," said Pope Pius XI, "it is
of the utmost importance to see

that all those conditions which sur-

round the child during the period

of his formation, in other words

the combination of circumstances

which we call environment, cor-
respond exactly to the end pro-
posed. The first, natural and nec-
essary element in this environment,

as regards education, is the family,

and this precisely because so or-
dained by the Creator Himself.”

But, some will say: "We try to
train our children right. We taught
them to pray, to respect the rights
of others, to go to church. We try
to keep them away from bad com-
pany and to see that the entertain-
ment in which they indulge is clean
and wholesome. What more can
parents do for their young?”

The confused and troubled state
of human affairs is enough to dem-
onstrate that there is much more

to be done than our parents have
done in the past, and more than is
being done today. If, for instance,
every home on earth was truly a
Christian home — truly a house of
God — there could be no such
things as war, economic strife,
racial intolerance, and public sub-
mission to widespread vice and
corruption.

All of these and many other evils
are visited upon society by men
and women who have a wrong or
immature understanding of Chris-
tian duty and a weak or blunted
sense of Christian responsibility.

And the only hope of ever making
this a cleaner, better world is by
the return of men to family life
in keeping with the divine purpose

for which God established the
natural law.

The average husband and wife
may feel that their individual ef-
forts would contribute little to a
solution of these world-wide ills,

yet they can make a genuine con-
tribution to a better society by
making their own little family a
truly Christian one in every sense

of the word.

They can, for instance, institute
family prayer on a regular, daily
basis. "We heartily commend the
beautiful practice of family prayer,”

say the Catholic Bishops. "The

presence of Jesus will surely be a

source of blessing in the home
where parents and children unite

to offer up prayer in common. The
spirit of piety which this custom

develops will sanctify the bonds of

family love and ward off the dang-
ers which often bring sorrow and

37



shame. We appeal in this matter
with special earnestness to young
fathers and mothers, who have it
in their power to mould the hearts
of their children and train them
betimes in the habit of prayer.”

James Hamilton gave six factors
which must be present if the home
is to be a happy one. "Integrity,”
he said, "must be the architect, and
tidiness the upholsterer. It must be
warmed by affection, lighted up
with cheerfulness; and industry
must be the ventilator, renewing

the atmosphere and bringing in
fresh salubrity day by day, while
over all, as a protecting canopy
and glory, nothing will suffice but
the blessing of God.”

Infidelity, immorality, divorce,

birth control, juvenile delinquency,

intolerance and hatred, dishonesty,
all the evils which so sorely afflict
the world today may be traced to
the failure of parents and the break-
ing down of Christian family life.

Those who wish to give their
children a better world in which
to live . . . and to prepare ’ them-

selves and their children for eternal
life with God . . . will concern them-
selves seriously and constantly with
the task of making theirs a Chris-
tian home — a house of God.

That is the true secret of suc-
cessful marriage, the true secret of

Christian parenthood, the true way
for a man and a wife to live
purely and to live worthily.

"There is no possible circumstance in which husband and wife cannot,

strengthened by the grace of God, fulfill faithfully their duties and

preserve in wedlock their chastity unspotted. This truth of Christian

Faith is expressed by the teaching of the Council of Trent. "Let no one

be so rash as to assert that which the Fathers of the Council have placed

under anathema, namely, that there are precepts of God impossible for
the just to observe. God does not ask the impossible, but by His com-
mands, instructs you to do what you are able, to pray for what you

are not able that He may help you.” Pius XI.

38



A PRAYER TO BE SAID BY

MARRIED FOLK IN THEIR OWN BEHALF

O, Most Sacred Heart of Jesus,

King and center of all hearts, dwell

in our hearts and be our King:

grant us by Thy grace to love each

other truly and chastely, even as

Thou hast loved Thine immaculate
Bride, the Church, and didst de-

liver Thyself up for her.

Bestow upon us the mutual love

and Christian forbearance that are

so acceptable in Thy sight, and a
mutual patience in bearing each

other’s defects; for we are certain
that no living creature is free from

them. Permit not the slightest mis-

understanding to mar that harmony
of spirit which is the foundation

of that mutual assistance in the

many and varied hardships of life,
to provide which woman was creat-
ed and united inseparably to her

husband.

Grant, O Lord God, that be-
tween us there may be a constant
and holy rivalry in striving to lead

a perfect Christian life, by virtue

of which the divine image of Thy
mystic union with Holy Church,

imprinted upon us on the happy
day of our marriage, may shine
forth more and more clearly. Grant,
we beseech Thee, that our good
example of Christian living may be
a source of inspiration to our

children to spur them on to con-
form their lives also to Thy holy
Law; and finally, after this exile,

may we be found worthy, by the
help of Thy grace, for which we
earnestly pray, to ascend into

Heaven, there to be joined with

our children forever, and to praise

and bless Thee through everlasting

ages. Amen.

39



A Prayer To Be Said By Parents
In Behalf Df Their Children

O Lord God, who hast called us to
holy matrimony and hast been

pleased to render our union fruit-

ful, thus making glad the sublime

state of life wherein Thou hast

placed us, by a certain likeness to

Thine own infinite fruitfulness; we

heartily recommend to Thee our

dear children; we entrust them to

Thy fatherly care and all-powerful

protection, that they may grow

daily in Thy holy fear, may lead

a perfect Christian life and may

be a source of consolation, not only

to us who have given them life,

but also and chiefly to Thee, who
art their Creator.

Behold, O Lord, in what a
world they must pass their lives;

consider the cunning flatteries

whereby the sons of men every-
where endeavor to deprave their

minds and hearts with false doctrine

and wicked example. Be watchful,

O Lord, to help and defend them;
grant us the grace to be able to

guide them aright in the paths of

virtue and in the way of Thy com-

mandments, by the righteous pat-

tern of our own life and practice,

and our perfect observance of Thy

holy law and that of our holy

mother the Church; and in order

that we may do so faithfully, make

us certain of the grave danger that

awaits us at the hands of Thy

divine justice. Nevertheless all our

efforts will be unavailing, unless

Thou, O almighty and merciful
God, shalt make them fruitful by

Thy heavenly blessing.

This Thy blessing, therefore, we

humbly ask of Thee, from the bot-

tom of our hearts, trusting in Thy

great goodness and mercy hitherto

shown unto us; we ask it for our-

selves and for the children whom
Thou hast been graciously pleased

to give unto us. We dedicate them
to Thee, O Lord, do Thou keep
them as the apple of Thine eye,

and protect them under the shadow

of Thy wings; do Thou make us

worthy to come at last to heaven,

together with them, giving thanks

unto Thee, our Father, for the lov-

ing care Thou hast had of our

entire family, and praising Thee

through endless ages. Amen.

40



?v
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS - RELIGIOUS INFORMATION BUREAU

4422 Lindell Blvd., St. Louis 8, Missouri

List of pamphlets available at the above address. One title may be requested at a time free
of charge. Several titles, complete sets, and quantities of individual pamphlets may be ordered
at 7^ for each pamphlet, plus postage.

3. The Bible is a Catholic Book

5. Christ’s Seven Sacraments

6. The Holy Sacrifice — the Catholic
Mass

7. Why the Catholic Church says "Inves-
tigate” — Masons, Inquisition, Nuns

8. Speaking of Tolerance — Controver-
sial periods in history

9. These Men They Call "Knights”
10. Why Catholics Believe As They Do

— Existence of God, Immortality
11. A Short Story of the Popes
12. Let’s Stick to Moses — Ten Com-

mandments explained

13. But Can It Be Found in the Bible? —
Bible not sole rule of faith

14. What Happens After Death?
15. Yes ... I Condemned The Catholic

Church

16. What Do You Mean "Only One True
Church”?

17. But How Can Educated People Be
Catholics?

18. No . . . Belief in God is not Enough!
19. The Real Secret of Successful Mar-

riage

20. The Way to Everlasting Life . . . The
Catholic Church

21. Is the Catholic Church a Menace to
Democracy?

22. But Do You Really Understand the
Bible? — Rules for understanding

23. A Letter to Our Non-Catholic Neigh-
bors — Aspects of Catholic faith

24. Yes, the Mother of God Will Help
You!

25. What Makes a Woman Choose Such
a Life? — Life of a Catholic Nun

26. I’ll Tell You Why I Am a Catholic
27. Why So Many Decide to Become

Catholics — Convert stories
28. Let Us Judge Catholics by the Bible

— Prayer to Saints, unmarried priests
29. But Would Christ Call You A Chris-

tian?

30. But Do You Understand What God
Told Us? — Apostles’ Creed

31. Should Children Learn About God-
in School?

32. The Bible Is Not Our Sole Guide
33. This Was the Faith of Our Fathers
34. These Are Our Seven Deadly Enemies

— Seven capital sins explained
35. Let’s Test Catholic Loyalty — A Good

Catholic is a good citizen
36. Remember the Sabbath . . . Keep It

Holy — The "Sabbath Question”
37. I Am a Catholic Priest
38. But Why the Candles, Holy Water

and Beads ? — Sacramentals
39. The Reformation. Was It Reform or

Revolt?

40. Why I Had to Embrace the Catholic
Faith — Convert stories

41. Yes, Miracles Happened at Fatima
42. Does the Bible Contradict Itself? —

Peter the Rock, Faith and/or Works
43. I Was Warned About the Catholic

Church ! — Religious Liberty
44. Why a Woman Needs the Catholic

Faith

!

45. The Early Years of the Catholic
Church — First three centuries

46. Yes ... A Priest Can Forgive Your
Sins — Sacrament of Penance

47. But Why Don’t You Pray to the
Saints? — Communion of Saints

48. God’s Story of Creation — Genesis
49. Is the Catholic Church Out of Place

Here? — Catholicism and Loyalty
50. This Is the Catholic Church — Creed,

Sacraments, Mass, Commandments
51. Revelation ... A Divine Message of

Hope — Revelations or Apocalypse
52. Does It Pay to be a Catholic? — How

to be a Catholic

53. Think About Death and Start to Live
— Catholic attimde toward death

54. What Do You Find Wrong With
the Catholic Church?

55. His Name Shall Be Called God With
Us — Divinity of Christ

56. The Infallible Church, Truth or Trick-
ery? — Church of the Scripmres

57. Tell Us About God... Who Is He?
Existence and nature of God

58. The Word Was Made Flesh-
Humanity of Christ

59. Let Us Pray—Prayer
60. Gift of the Holy Spirit—Confirmation
61. The Church Says — Precepts of The

Church



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St. Louis, June, 1950

Published in United States of America
16th Reprinting, April, 1961