# ent

id: 18906
type: WORK_OF_ART
entity:
  The Dun Cow:"-- "The immense importance of a pint of ale to a common man should never be overlooked, nor should a good-natured Justice forget


# bib

id: 15705
author: Hobart, George V. (George Vere)
txt: ./txt/15705.txt
cache: ./cache/15705.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  A man can drop a lot of dough trying to pick up money. "Business before pleasure," said the man; "swear that you are not a "Come!" said the man, "where is the Chink that goes with this wearing "It looks to me much like foreign spirits," said the man. [Illustration: "D--Sometimes an old fool gets away with a good thing."] The thing a man gets who thinks he knows it all. Look around and you''ll see that the world likes to side with the man who A man many young people should consult who think they have young man in love with a girl whose Papa is over forty and who wears No. 11 shoes of a high voltage. [Illustration: "P--Philosophy makes good reading for the man who has When Nature makes a pink lobster look like a man. The time of the year which a young man looks forward to with

title:
  The Silly Syclopedia A Terrible Thing in the Form of a Literary Torpedo which is Launched for Hilarious Purposes Only Inaccurate in Every Particular Containing Copious Etymological Derivations and Other Useless Things


id: 15667
title: Best Short Stories
author: nan
txt: ./txt/15667.txt
cache: ./cache/15667.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  "Ah ain''t got no lawyer, jedge," said the old man. "Well, jedge, Ah''ll tell you, suh," said the old man, waving his "Yes, dear," said the mother patiently, "but wait a day or so until she way--called the young fellow in to him one day and said: Turning to Mr. Gloom, the old man said: "At least," the young man said ruefully as he left the court, "father''s "I got son in army," said a wrinkled old chief to United States Senator "No," said the old man, "I was born two good miles from here." replied: "Yes, malaria, you know." "Well," said the old gentleman, "we "I can, sir," said the young man, "but I am not mean enough to do it." "Young man," said Manager Woods sternly, "you should know that it is "Listen," said the young man, "judge, we were on our way to have you "Yes, sir," said the boys.


id: 14973
title: Essays on Wit No. 2
author: nan
txt: ./txt/14973.txt
cache: ./cache/14973.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  _Essay on Wit_ (1748); Richard Flecknoe''s _Of one that Zany''s the good Both fancy and judgment, said Hobbes (_Human Nature_, X, sect. (Between this idea of wit as discovering likeness short, wit is delightful, but, because it leads away from truth, Embellishments of Discourse by all who aim at the Character of Wits." The author of the _Essay on Wit_ places this reason wit was likely to be considered out of place in serious Wit, Humour, Raillery, Satire, and Ridicule_, 1744, probably the best essay "Of Wit" in the _Weekly Register_ for July 22, 1732, ventured ridicule in which fancy was primarily involved; at its best wit was little histories of wit, which appear through the age of Dryden and Passions seek not Expressions of Wit. _Priam_ and _Hecuba_ don''t make give the Name of Wit, never ought to be introduced into great Works moderns excell the ancients in all the arts of Ridicule, and assign


id: 16197
title: One Third Off
author: Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
txt: ./txt/16197.txt
cache: ./cache/16197.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Unfair-minded persons are advised to take warning and stop right here with I described how natural it was for a fat man to feel like the Grand Cañon It has been my personal observation, viewing the matter at close range, that nearly always fat, like old age or a thief in the dark, steals upon Yet I ate heartily of all things that appealed to my palate, eating at I am convinced that men who are getting fat are generally like that. But he did not come right out and say a thing so utterly tactless. "Well, doc," I said upon hearing this for the second time in language has worked some outward changes in Mr. Bryan since the brave old days of From these crude beginnings I worked my way down toward the present day. supposed all the time they merely were enjoying good health.


id: 16233
title: An Essay towards Fixing the True Standards of Wit, Humour, Railery, Satire, and Ridicule (1744)
author: Morris, Corbyn
txt: ./txt/16233.txt
cache: ./cache/16233.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  of Wit, Humour, Raillery, Satire, and Ridicule_ towards Fixing the True Standards of Wit, Humour, Raillery, Satire, why _Humour_ is more pleasurably felt than _Wit_, are new and proper distinctions in the meanings of such terms as wit, humour, and Appearances, not of WIT only, but of _Raillery_, _Satire_, _arranging_ it with another Subject, are yet different from WIT, _Persons_ in real Life; WIT appears in _Comparisons_, either between However, though HUMOUR and WIT are thus absolutely different in HUMOUR and WIT, as they may thus both be united in the same Subject, _Foibles_ of some Persons in Life, they may justly be made the Subject 2. HUMOUR is _Nature_, or what really appears in the Subject, without _Humour_ appears, in the Representation of a Person in real Life, from _Wit_, or _Ridicule_;--However, _Humour_ and _Raillery_ united _Humour_, _Raillery_, _Satire_, and _Ridicule_, appear not only There are other Combinations of _Wit_, _Humour_, _Raillery_, _Satire_,


id: 20024
title: Crankisms
author: Matthewman, Lisle de Vaux
txt: ./txt/20024.txt
cache: ./cache/20024.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  The best and the worst in man respond only to woman''s from the use it is to man, is better off without it. Woman generally tries to attract a man''s eye, and then The man who marries for money is a fool, but rarely as big a men knew women as well as they know themselves--things would Before he knows a woman a man often thinks her an angel; but that is no inducement to wait-for no man wants We are convinced in our own minds that every man deserves It is not to be expected that the average man should know what a real woman is like--he so rarely sees one. What a woman admires in a man depends on whether she is A man considers his little weaknesses amiable traits; The man who sees things as they are is regarded as a madman, The average man sees things as they


id: 20229
title: Stories of Comedy
author: nan
txt: ./txt/20229.txt
cache: ./cache/20229.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  "Sure, I''ve been gathering knowledge, anyhow, your honor," said Barny, "By my sowl you spoke loudher that time, sure enough," said Barny. you missed it, like your mammy''s blessin''," said Barny. "To the divil wid Terry O''Sullivan," said Barny; "how does he know for some time," said Barny, "an'' if your honor''ll be plazed I''ll be "O sir," said Barny, rubbing his eyes, which were still a little hazy, word as that man says comes true, and he knows everything." "Well, man alive," says the Pope, "sure, and here''s the best ov good "Faix, I think," says his Riv''rence, "wid all submission to the better then things is come to a purty pass," says his Riv''rence, ov your challenge now," says he, "but come to the scratch like a man, if one,'' says he; ''you don''t know how soon you may want a good word put in


id: 28503
title: The Wit of Women Fourth Edition
author: Sanborn, Kate
txt: ./txt/28503.txt
cache: ./cache/28503.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  made a good pun, but required time to think about it, had said that "I took pretty good care, before I said ''sniff,'' to be sure she would Lothrop, says he: ''I think, if that''s the case, I know jest the woman to ''NOTHIN'','' says he, and turned right round and went down the steps like Years ago Mrs. Stowe published some capital stories of New England life, "''Mother wants your sifter,'' said Miss Ianthe Howard, a young lady of "Good land!" said Scott, sitting down on a log, and putting his hands in you think I''d personify a pretty good old woman, gentlemen--ha! "I has gummed it fur a good many ye''rs," said Aunt Anniky, with a sigh; "In the mean time," said my mother, mildly, "Aunt Anniky is waiting to "I''d jes'' like ter tell yer, Mars'' Charles," began Uncle Ned, "ob de


id: 29419
author: Various
txt: ./txt/29419.txt
cache: ./cache/29419.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  A MAN, hearing of another who was 100 years old, said contemptuously: A GENTLEMAN asked a friend, in a somewhat knowing manner, "Pray, sir, the chimney-piece, when a gentleman coming up to him, said, "Sir, as "IS Mr. Brown a man of means?" asked a gentleman of old Mrs. Fizzleton, "Why," said the old man, "this here is one cabbage head, ain''t it?" head knowingly, ''Have you got a sorrel horse then?'' ''Yes,'' said the man, "Ah," said the sly old fellow, "and wouldn''t you like to know!" three." "Well, let us hear," said the old man. accident, "My dear Sir," said the old man, "I give you joy of your "O Sir," said he, "where are your _good witnesses_?" the Khazee said to the old man, "He is long--do you think he has got that tree is?" The young man returned and said the tree would not come.

title:
  The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun; containing a collection of over one thousand of the most laughable sayings and jokes of celebrated wits and humorists.


id: 28847
title: Max and Maurice: A Juvenile History in Seven Tricks
author: Busch, Wilhelm
txt: ./txt/28847.txt
cache: ./cache/28847.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Cock and hens, like fowls unfed, "Climb the roof!" cried each young shaver. Here''s the Widow Tibbets coming! Come out, you buck! Soon it proved poor Buck had brought a This was the bad boys'' third trick, This was the bad boys'' third trick, For a boy who loves bad tricks Well begrudge a good old man, This was the bad boys'' fourth trick, Max and Maurice (need I mention?) These bad boys--on Uncle Fritz. Max and Maurice, great pains taking, Uncle Fritz to bed has gone; This was the bad boys'' fifth trick, This was the bad boys'' sixth trick, It grows warm with Max and Maurice, Handy Illustrated Volumes by popular authors, including: LOUISA M. ALCOTT, SUSAN COOLIDGE, NORA PERRY, HELEN HUNT JACKSON, LOUISE CHANDLER EWING, EDWARD EVERETT HALE, LAURA E. MOULTON, author of "Bed-Time Stories," etc. By SUSAN COOLIDGE, author of "What author of "Bed-Time Stories," etc.


id: 18300
title: History of English Humour, Vol. 1 With an Introduction upon Ancient Humour
author: L''Estrange, A. G. K. (Alfred Guy Kingan)
txt: ./txt/18300.txt
cache: ./cache/18300.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Humour is the offspring of man--it comes forth like Minerva fully armed writing, and thus humour comes to be often regarded as a kind of that his friends laughed on hearing of some good fortune having come to man being above the humour of the day, (which, no doubt, consisted records a saying of his grandfather that "the men of our time are like The humour which has come to us from classic times, brings the life of The man who showed at this time the greatest judgment in humour and tell his wife all he knows." Speaking of children, he says that a man we with a man who imitates him, although Cicero says that humour for the first time, hear of "wits"--men of good birth and position, who was celebrated at that day as a man of humour, though at present we see


id: 18906
title: History of English Humour, Vol. 2
author: L''Estrange, A. G. K. (Alfred Guy Kingan)
txt: ./txt/18906.txt
cache: ./cache/18906.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Swift says that Stella "always said the best thing in the company," but humour and ridicule in the possession of an ill-natured man.... man of so much good humour; but to this day he is seldom merry, but "One of the wits of the last age, who was a man of a good estate, jest, and came into it with so much good humour that they lived in think I see you looking twenty times a day at the house--almost Frere was a man of great taste and humour. than as a man of society, and passed for what was called a "wit." The says that English humour "far from agreeable, and bitter in taste, like people would little feel the humour at which they could not laugh, and generally under the form of saying that a thing is _like_ in speaking of a good-humoured man.


id: 13484
title: Essay upon Wit
author: Blackmore, Richard, Sir
txt: ./txt/13484.txt
cache: ./cache/13484.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Throughout his writings Blackmore has a good deal to say about Wit, Pleasure and Approbation, as those that abound with Wit and Humour, Seasonings of Wit and Raillery in Writing and Conversation, that Tho perhaps the Talent which we call Wit, like that of Humour, is of Men. The Conversation of ingenious Libertines generally turns upon this Subject, from the Writings of a good Judge of Wit, and as great Men have the Fortune to be esteem''d Wits, only for jesting out of the delicate Turn of Wit; when impure Sentiments are express''d by Men of a Another pernicious Abuse of Wit is that which appears in the Writings Wit and good Sense would have made those merry Authors as odious for Men of loose Manners, and therefore unlikely Persons to undertake the of Men of Wit and Humour, who not being easy in their Fortunes,


id: 20375
title: Watch Yourself Go By
author: Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
txt: ./txt/20375.txt
cache: ./cache/20375.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Going from you, Alfred looked like a grown man; coming towards you he Lin shaded her eyes, gazed hard at the boy, dropped the mop, and Alfred Lin told the good, honest soul they could not think of Alfred wearing Alfred saw a large man pushing his way to the ticket wagon. The big Doctor, Alfred and the boys were seated long before the The father and mother of Alfred had different ideas of the boy''s future. cut up one of her best red skirts to complete the costume of which Mrs. Young furnished the foundation in the garments Alfred was sent home in A few days later Cousin Charley brought Alfred a fine pair of white and When the boys arrived at Alfred''s home and Lin saw them assisting the Alfred never liked the man from the time he failed to keep his When Lin heard that the boys were addressing Alfred as "Doctor," usually


id: 26260
title: This Simian World
author: Day, Clarence
txt: ./txt/26260.txt
cache: ./cache/26260.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  When we think of these creatures as little men (which is all wrong of A race of civilized beings descended from these great cats would have Like ants and bees, the cat race is nervous. planet of super-cat-men could look down upon ours, they would not know In a world of super-cat-men, I suppose there would have been fewer When great power comes naturally to people, it is used more urbanely. A sudden vision comes to me of one of the first far-away ape-men who Each simian will wish to know more than his head can hold, let such an ambition, yet simians won''t like to think it''s beyond their primitive simian feelings,--wars, accidents, love affairs, and family (The average simian will imagine he knows without learning.) In a simian civilization, great halls will great cats, simians tend to undervalue the body. as the simians are would naturally have a hard time behaving as though


id: 374
title: Fantastic Fables
author: Bierce, Ambrose
txt: ./txt/374.txt
cache: ./cache/374.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  "My sister," said an adjacent Man of God, solemnly, "you cannot stop the "Great and good friend," said the Editor, blandly, looking up from his "Let the prisoner be discharged," said the Judge; "a man who has no "He said it was about three o''clock," replied the Man in a Hurry; "but he "What, then," said the Man in a Hurry, eagerly, "is the time of day?" "My great and good friends," he said to his brother sovereigns, "it will "I referred," said the Witch, "to the head of her good man." The Constituents said he was an honourable man and elected him to the "I ''sought the man,''" said the Office. A Man with a Shotgun said to a Bird: "I take it you are one of my constituents," the Man said. "Well," said the Man, looking about, "the country doesn''t seem to be very "Why should you not rather rejoice?" said the Man.


id: 849
title: The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
author: Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
txt: ./txt/849.txt
cache: ./cache/849.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Coming back, I saw an old man breaking stones, and it roused such strong young man is "so awful glad to meet you, old fellow," for he does "feel animal as only a boy would love an old water-rat; and one day it fell between you and me, you know, I think it does a man good to swear. and won''t we let old Gaffer Goggles'' geese know what time o'' day it is, Yes, shy men, like ugly women, have a bad time of it in this world, to look round a roomful of people and think that each one is a mere child a good time of it that all the young fellows who are not shy long to be between a baby''s night-shirt and the thing it wears in the day-time? friends and faces are not like the old, and we cannot love them, nay,


id: 6882
title: This Simian World
author: Day, Clarence
txt: ./txt/6882.txt
cache: ./cache/6882.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  When we think of these creatures as little men (which is all wrong A race of civilized beings descended from these great cats would Like ants and bees, the cat race is nervous. If a planet of super-cat-men could look down upon ours, they would not know which to think was the most amazing: the way we tamely live, In a world of super-cat-men, I suppose there would have been fewer which makes mere men feel speechless: but with all love for When great power comes naturally to people, it is used more urbanely. A sudden vision comes to me of one of the first far-away ape-men who to accomplish such an ambition, yet simians won''t like to think it''s civilized simian, every day of his life, in addition to whatever simian feelings,--wars, accidents, love affairs, and family quarrels. In a simian civilization, great halls the great cats, simians tend to undervalue the body.


id: 11639
title: Figures of Earth: A Comedy of Appearances
author: Cabell, James Branch
txt: ./txt/11639.txt
cache: ./cache/11639.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  "Well," Manuel said, "much wealth and broad lands and a lovely wife are "She is, certainly, rather pretty," said Niafer, to Manuel. Manuel, looking puzzled, went on a little way, and when he was assured "Count Manuel," says Alianora, with that lovely tranquil smile of hers, "Count Manuel," says Alianora, with that lovely tranquil smile of hers, "Come," said Manuel, "what is the good of my knowing this in the dead of They of Poictesme narrate how Queen Freydis and Count Manuel lived "I have no living love," said Manuel, "except the woman whom I am Dom Manuel said, "I demand that Niafer who was a slave girl, and is now Manuel said only, "An obligation is upon me, for the life of Niafer was King Thibaut said it was the famous Dom Manuel of Poictesme, who had put Then Freydis said: "No, Manuel, Sesphra must live for a great while,


id: 11279
title: The Slim Princess
author: Ade, George
txt: ./txt/11279.txt
cache: ./cache/11279.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  among the young men, and up to the day of Kalora''s nineteenth On the morning of the day set apart for the début of Kalora, Count Selim her ease, and all the time she knew that every young man present was If I were a fat woman, and a man said that he loved me, I should know "You must face the other way," said the young man. She looked up and saw a young man on the top of the wall, his legs "This is a shine country, and you''re in wrong, little girl," said Mr. Pike, in a kindly tone. AS TO WASHINGTON, D.C. About the time that Mr. Pike arrived in Vienna, and after Kalora had because no young man in Morovenia wishes to marry me. "I take it that you''re a busy man and I''ll come to the point," said the "We shall be married in Washington," said Kalora decisively.


id: 38752
title: The Story of a Doctor''s Telephone—Told by His Wife
author: Firebaugh, Ellen M.
txt: ./txt/38752.txt
cache: ./cache/38752.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  "Poor old fellow!" said Mary as she turned from the ''phone, "but I don''t She had taken down the receiver when a man''s voice said, "The doctor "All right, Mary," said the doctor, gently, seeing that she was quite minutes the doctor was gone and Mary went to bed. When the door had closed behind her Mary asked the other doctor''s wife "What is it?" asked the doctor, looking around, and Mary told him with a The doctor''s voice came to Mary from the room of the patient. "If the telephone would permit," said Mary, as the doctor answered the "Please ''phone your complaints to the doctor," said Mary, calmly "I was just saying," said Mary, "that the doctor ''phoned me a few The doctor said he would like Mary to go in and she followed him Mary, smiling down at the little questioner, said, "The doctor didn''t


id: 43101
author: Various
txt: ./txt/43101.txt
cache: ./cache/43101.txt
extension: .txt
mime: text/plain
summary:
  Most folks know their own minds for a day or two ahead, Mrs. Bowser." "Say, old man, this is a world of change, you know. young man, you want to be a little more keerful how you write things "A fit--I feel one coming on," replied the young man, without emotion. young man said to the foreman: "You don''t mind my having fits?" One day a laboring man called at the side door and asked for the loan of Two days later, as Mr. Bowser sat on the front steps, a colored man came After the man had gone, Mr. Bowser came into the house and asked: "You understand," I said, as I got what he wanted, "that I did not ask "Yes, I reckon so," said the old man in no gracious tones, "and if I young man said: "Well, sir, that is true; but the fact is the doctors

title:
  Witty Pieces by Witty People A collection of the funniest sayings, best jokes, laughable anecdotes, mirthful stories, etc., extant


