Mock songs and joking poems, all novel consisting of mocks to several late songs about the town : with other new songs and ingenious poems much in use at court, and both theaters / by the author of Westminster drollery. Author of Westminster drollery. 1675 Approx. 168 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 111 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-07 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A51044 Wing M2301 ESTC R17804 12600545 ocm 12600545 64161 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A51044) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64161) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 325:4) Mock songs and joking poems, all novel consisting of mocks to several late songs about the town : with other new songs and ingenious poems much in use at court, and both theaters / by the author of Westminster drollery. Author of Westminster drollery. [3], 142 p. Printed for William Birtch ..., London : 1675. "Never before printed" Without music. Errata: p. 142. Reproduction of original in Harvard University Libraries. Signature A is incomplete and pages 133-134 are torn in the filmed copy. Beginning-page 59 and pages 130-end photographed from Bodleian Library copy, and inserted at the end. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Songs, English -- Texts. 2003-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-03 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-04 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2003-04 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MOCK SONGS AND Joking Poems , All Novel ; Consisting of Mocks to several late Songs about the Town . With other NEW SONGS , AND INGENIOUS POEMS Much in use at Court , and both Theaters . Never before Printed . By the Author of Westminster Drollery . LONDON , Printed for William Birtch , at the Peacock in the Poultry , near Old Iury. 1675. MOCK SONGS , AND Ioking Poems . SONG . 1. The Resolute Gallant . Tune is , Farewel unkind one , since you so design , &c. IF e're I love agen , Boyes , Nanny shall be she : But twenty 't is to ten , boyes , She ne're will fancy me ; For I have been a mad Rogue , From Twelve to Thirty-One . To Drink , and Kiss , And court a Miss , Was Second unto none : Yet now 't is time to VVed , boyes , VVhen Coin and Credit 's gone . Once I had a pretty Miss , 〈◊〉 Vou'd Sing , and Dance and Play , And sit and Court , and Clip , and Kiss , A live-long Summers day . And so we did contrive , Until her Purse did fail : Then I began , To play the Man , And hoisted up my Sail ; And like an Arrant Haggard , To her turn'd the Tail. Now must I to Nanny go , And let her know my mind ; Sh 'as Wit , and Chink , and beauty too , And still to me was kind : But if she does refuse me , Pox take her , let her go : I 'le Hunt about , The Town throughout , In chace of many moe ; And confident I am , boyes , There 's few can say me no. SONG . 2. A Mock to a Lover I am , and a Lover I 'le be . And to that Tune . A Drunkerd I am , and a Drunkerd I 'le dye , And the sight of a brimmer does cherish my eye , Though my guts are so full , there 's no room for a drop Yet methinks 't is a pleasure to bob at the Cup , Which bobing and smelling , so settles my brain , That without any sleeping , I fall too 't again . With Cup after Cup , I still keep in motion , Till my brains dance Laral●●s like ships on the Ocean : When my Senses are pal●● , and you think I 'm slain , The scent of a Celler revives me again : Then hey for God Baccus , the Prince of us all , T is he I adore , and for evermore shall . SONG 3. A Mock , to I pass all my hours in a shady old Grove . And to that Tune . I Pass all my hours with a dingy old Punk , And she lives not a day , but she 's sure to be drunk : I survey all the parts of this over-worn Jade , And fin●●h● for thirty years has been decay'd . O then 't was , and now 't is , that there 's no such hell Then with an old Beldam to dwell . She needs must be conscious she 's old : but the Trot , Though she looks in her Glass , yet believes she is not When I see but the print of her shape where she 's lain I scarcely from weeping mine eyes can restrain : O then t was , and now 't is , that there 's no such hell Than with an Old beldam to dwell . When alone by our selves we both are in bed , Then I wish I 'de been hang'd , before I 'de been wed , She nearer will creep to my side . And do all that I can she there will abide : O then t was , and now t is , that there 's no such hell Than with an Old beldam to dwell . But when I consider the wealth she bid bring , And the love still to me shew'd in every thing , I fear I have wrong'd her ; yet wish with her chrams , She still may be lockt in another mans arms . O then boys , O then , there 's no joy above Like her absence ; her obsence in love . A Mock to , on the Bank of a Brook. And to that Tune . ON the side of a Hill , as I was Pissing , ( Within a Thicket , close by a Wood-side ) I over-heard a Lad and a Lass Kissing , Which through the Wood was quickly espy'd ▪ I then left of pissing , to see and to hear What that Kissing Couple did there . O says the Shepherd , pish , why this denying ; Come , come , your Mother did once do the same : Those are good Natur'd Girls , that are complying : Fye , fye , my Molly : indeed y' are to blame , 'T is kindness that makes me love you so well , And then we afford ye , what Robin gave Nell . Come says she , then let 's leave this place behind us , ( For Hedges have Ears , and Bushes have Eyes ) ●nto a private nook , where none may find us , There we some pretty sport , both will devise : So then from all spyes we both shall be free , But , O what a World of pleasure 't will be . SONG . 5. A Mock to , I will go to my Love where he lyes in the Deep . And to that Tune . I Will go to my Love , where she lyes in the Park , ( At the Lodg cal'd St. Whetstones ) before it be dark Where we 'l sleep ; when awake , the kind Fidlers shall play And the Coaches to Maribone draw us away . My Love she ha's Money , of which she is free , And of all the Deer in the Park , still kindest to me ; Though the rest of the Crew there , do envy our bliss , Yet there 's none of e●m a●l , that can teach us to kiss . My Love she do's lye as well it is known , ( Which is strange in that place ) in a bed of her own I will kiss her dear Lips , while her Money do's last , But when it is gone , to another I 'le hast . SONG . 4. A Drunken Mock , to come away my Daphne . COme my bully-rock away , VVe do wast this drinking day , T is Roger calls , what News you Sot , Come see you Rogue what I have got , For Bacchus still provides , Brisk Wine , to stuff our hides ; VVere I shut up , in Cellar deep , I 'de first be Drunk , before I 'de Sleep . You Lazy Dog make haste , The VVine will spoyl and waste : VVith good Sack , and Clarret I VVill for ever live and dye : And from bung hole never stray , Till thee and I , have ●uckt it quite away . Chorus . VVe 'l Drink and Sleep , and then we 'l snore , That Bacchus he , May daily see , The bubbing Glee , 'Twixt thee and me , And never will give o're , VVhilst we good VVhite or Clarret see . SONG . 5. On a Young Gentleman Kil'd in the last Engagement at Sea. Tune of , Farewell my Armida , my joy . POor Arinda in an Arbour lay sleeping , Drown'd in her tears , and surrounded with grief She 'd sometimes be starting and then fall a weeping , Blaming her Fate that deny'd her Relief : And then she began to unfold her sad Tale , And often with sighings her Fate did bewail , And at every sigh , she 'd still cry , ay me ; My dearest doth lye Entomb'd in the Sea. I lov'd him with passion , yet ne're let him know it , always returning his Love with disdain , So great was my solly , I never wou'd show it , Which woe is me , is the cause of my pain , He grieved at his fate , and my cruelty too , And vow'd he would bid me for ever adieu : 'T is I am the cause of my hopeless estate , And fain would repent , but alas 't is too late . Then dearest Palaemon , my tears do intreat thee , Pardon my folly , 't was I was in fault , And though not in life , yet in death I will meet thee , Knowing my fate has the dearest been bought , For thou in the bed of Honour did'st dye , But I in the flames of Affliction must lye ; Repenting my foolish and dismal disdain , Till death puts an end to my torturing pain . SONG . 6. Sir Grigory Cow T — on his Mistress , Madam Dowzabell . Tune of , To drive the Cold Winter away . I Now will not fail , To tell you a Tale , Of a Mistress I had of late , Which when you do hear , I know you will swear , She never yet had her mate ; Her beauty was such , Of which but a touch At present ; the rest by and by : by which you will find , both before and behind , How her excellent parts did lye . And first for her hair , T was lovely and fair , And deeper dye then a Carret : So finely t was clung , Like Dag-locks it hung ; T is pitty that any should mar it , So sweetly it stuck Together , his luck Was better then mine cou'd undo it : For she ne're us'd a Comb , For this ten years at home , For fear some hurt should come to it . So smooth was her brow , As if that the Plough , Of late some Furrows had made : So deep and so fine , And strait as a Line , As if 't had been done with a Spade : So finely it hung O're her eyes , along To Sheild e'm from danger and pain ; And serv'd her instead , Of a Pent-house indeed , To keep e'm from Sun and Rain . Her eyes lookt a skew One black , to'ther blew , And one stood higher then to'ther : One small , to'ther great , 'T was pleasant to see 't . They were so like one another , Sure something was in 't , That when she did squint , You 'd think she look'd quite from you : But there lyes the Jest , When you thought upon least , She look'd directly upon you . Her Nose large and strong , And stood out so long , Just like to a Promontory : From whence she wou'd drop , Some Pearls from the top , VVhen ever she came before ye : So far did her Snout , Alwas stand out , Like the Gnomon on the Dial ; That when Teeth appear , And the day be cleer , The hours of the day we may spy all . Yet some heretofore , Said her Nose was not sore , And often did put a slur on 't : But tho●e that do know her , Will Swear 't can't be su●e , Because it is always Currant . But one seeing her Nose And Chin , did suppose , VVhen first he look'd on her face , That she certainly drew , Her pedigree true , From Old Mother Shiptons Race . Her Lips were as white , As Silver out-right , And still their Colour did hold , And thatch't they were so , Both above and below , With Hair to keep out the cold : Her mouth was so wide , From side unto side , That a large penny-loaf would go VVith much ease intoo 't ; Being buttered to boot , VVith the Cream that hangs thereto . Nay , some do suppose She descended was , From the Sparrows by her Mother : Because that her Mouth To tell you the Truth , Did reach from one Ear to to'ther : Her Teeth had the hue Of a delicate blew , And each from other did stand , A pretty way out , To look well about , For fear she should be Trappan'd . Yet some man that knew , She had but a few , Did say , poor heart she was glad , To let e'm stand out , Like Centinels stout , To secure the rest that she had : Her Chin was so small , And hooked withal , That up it came to her Nose ; VVhich when they did meet , Did Neighbourly treat , A difference to compose . And the reason was , If you 'd know the cause , Because that her Teeth were then , but newly faln out , And it was no doubt For to reconcile e'm agen : Plump Cheeks she did hate , C●use her's fell of late , And flat as a Pancake say : Some dimples there were , VVhich made her to swear , But now they are worn away . And then for the Rose , VVhich Nature bestows , On many Cheeks in the Town , She 'l say 't is a Paint , And cry , O fye on 't , 'Cause her's is a deep dyed brown : So sweet was her Tongue , When ever she sung , No Tongue cou'd ever come near it : Her Singing though soft , Yet if 't be too oft , 'T will make them deaf that do hear it . But her Singing aloud , Of which she is proud , You then will hear such a voice , That the Hills though two Mile , From thence vvill recoyl , And Eccho still to the Noise : Her Tongue vvas so neat , And very compleat , That if you had seen together , The Tongue of a Covv And her's : you vvou'd vovv , That she had the lovli'st of either . And vvhen she did speak , Her mind for to break , She had such a lisping vvay ; Do all that vve cou'd We scarce understood , One word of ten she did say : One seeing her Neck , With Furrows bedeckt , Did ask what Corn there did lye , He was told not a bit , Of Barley or Wheat , 'T was certainly all awry . Now some men may ask , Why her Neck so tacks About : and the reason is this , Although they mistook , When they said she did look As if she expected a kiss : But I for her sake , Will prov 't a mistake , What need she for that to sue te'ye , For when they did gaze , But one once on her face , They thought her the Queen of beauty . Her Skin it was Tawny , Her Arms thick and brawny ; And I 'le warrant you for a Button , Her hands are so fair , You 'd think e'm a pair Of good large Shoulders of Mutton : Though her fingers be short , Yet she has a sort Of Nails , like the Claws o● a Bittern : And fittest they are , For the use they are for , To warble it on her Cittern . Her brests they were flat , because they should not , Destroy her delicate frame : For some of her Kin , With Child oft have been , Which much did impaire the same : Plump-brests she do's hate , Her 's hang down in state ; And each against other swags : That some men have said , They did look indeed , Like two empty Leather-bags . Her back bove her Rump , Is lovely and plump , That some have her Credit defil'd : by being too free , In saying that she , Was always behind with Child ; but truly I don't believe it : nor won't ; Perhaps they may come to wooe her , but it ne're can sink , In any mind to think , That any would offer it to her . I can't say she 's grac't , At all with a Wast , Yet scarce one among fifty , But straiter is lac'd , So having no Wast , You 'l say she must needs be thrifty : Of her Thighs she boasts , Being like to the posts , Of a Wind-mill ●arge and stout ; And the wind that do's come , From her delicate bum , Will whisk you the Sails about . And then for the scent , VVhen she gives it vent , Her Bung-hole will loudly puff , Out a Hogo so strong , That no Pen , nor Tongue , Is able to praise it enough , Indeed 't was so sweet , That I think it meet , To tell you when in we were come , Do all that we cou'd , Twou'd adone on 's heart good , Then to be out of the Room . You 'l think it was strong VVhen it lasted so long , That if you in two hours space , Had come in the Room , You 'd find the Perfume , Almost as strong as it was : Nay , she had such an Art , In Letting a F — , I mean for the Noise and Smell ; Which if you did hear , In that you wou'd swear , She all her Sex did excell . Her Legs are as strait As a Rams-horn : but yet Some Men can not refrain To say , She was born By 'r Legs , at the Horn In the middle of Crooked-lane . When she goes in the Town , She will popp up and down Her pretty head , in the Streets ; That some did not stick To say , she had a trick ▪ To bow to all that she meets . That slander's took off , 'Cause some Men may scoff At her , and say , she 's proud ; But if it were so , Being handsome , you know A little pride is alow'd : For pride in a woman , You know is as common ▪ As Milk to a Suckling Bab●e : Then pray give it o're , And slander no more My Mis , that 's as meek as may be . And then for her Feet , 'Cause her Heels do meet , Perhaps some Men may her stout : But hark you , my Friend , Those that Dancing intend , Their Toes must alwaies keep out . Come stop not your Nose . Now I 'am come to her Toes ; To say they stink 't is unmeet ; For I do protest , I speak 't not in Jest They stink no more then her Feet . Her Small was so bigg . A Man burnt his Wigg To try which was biggest about ; Her Calf and her Small ; And h 'had done all , T' was even from the Knee to 'th Foot : One bid her on Veal , To Feed every Meal ; Which made her VVorship to laugh : Your reason quoth she , VVhy , truly sayes he , 'T will make you increase in the Cal●e . Her Instep was low , And thick , you must know ; And so was her lovely Shin : Her Ancles were gone , That the Devil a one , Were on her Legs to be seen . She ner'e gave warning VVhen she rose i' th morning , VVe knew 't by 'th smell presently ; For the Hogo's so great , But more if she sweat , 'T is smelt some four Stories high . A Neighbour did say , She 'd an excellent way To Inrich bad Land that is Spent ; So much wou'd she sweat , As she walkt with heat , To Lard the Lean Earth as she went : This I never knew ; But since it is true , VVee 'l Take a Farm that is Barren . And instead of a Cart , VVee 'l Muck it by the art Of my dear sweet Maid Marrion . Some think I her flout , When I say she 's about More then a large Cow in the wast : But hark you , d' ee hear , You 'd say if you see her , My words are not much misplac'd , For my eyes are dim , To compare with him Who sayes ( which made me to laugh ) She was so big throughout , One cou'd not go about Her , at least in an hour and half . Nay , besides all this , ( Which a happiness is ) She is in chastity zealous , Because there 's no man , That possibly can Of her , at all be jealous . And last , for her Age , I now will Ingage , Shee 'l bring ye Youth to content ye : For her Neighbours say , That at this very day , She wants two years of twenty . Now the question is , Since she 's such a Mis , Where I should wooe her again ; For if I should doo 't , I fear I may rue it , She may be Debaucht by some Men : But let come what will , I will love her still , In spight of Father and Mother : Nor will I spare cost , For if she be lost , I never shall get such another . Thus the parts ye 'ave heard tell , Of my Dowzabell , Which I have faithfully shown . I hope in my Love , No Rivals you 'l prove , But let me injoy my own : For if I should seek , From week unto week , In City or Country round , For one of such parts , And excellent deserts , I know there 's no such to be found . SONG . 7. Her● follows Madam Dowzabells Retor● to her Gallant , Sir Gregory Cowtu — . Tune of , And t is the Knave of Clubs bears all the sway YOung Ladies all , come lissen a while , I 'le tell ye that will make you smile ; Ha● you but such a Man , you 'd Vaunt , As I have now , to my Gallant , For person , and great deserts , As you will find by 's excellent parts . And since I must describe him well . This for his body I can tell , It looks just bike a Barrel set Quit up an end upon two feet ; Or like a Cloakbagg with a Hat , With two stump feet , just under that . And then for stature he is low , Cause tall-men are not wise you know ; For th'upper●●oomes of houses tall , Are furnisht sti●l the worst of all ; So that you see by consequence , He must have store of witt and sence . His Head it is o' th the largest size , By which you must conclude he 's ●i●e , For a great-head has little vvit , And a little-head has ne're a whit ; Which mistery plain●y doth us tell That he in wit doth most excell . His Haire is of so deep a red . It strikes the purest Scarlet dead , And hangs as if his head were Crown'd With Elfclocks , sweetly dangling round , And looks as if it twisted were By nature : for no Combe comes there . His forehead is so very low , You scarce can see his wrincled brow : Some say he ●s beetle brow'd likewise , Because it hangs so o're his eyes , For to defend him day by day , From any harme may come that way . His Eyes wou●d make on 's own to dazle , Cause one is gray ; & to'ther Hazle ; So fine , so small , so deep , so hollow . You 'd think his head his eyes did swallow ; From which profoundity doth come A dayly ●●eame , that sticks like gum●● ; His eyes are circled with a red , So pure it striks Vermilion dead ; By which ▪ and smalness they aves● it , That he had eyes just like a Fe●ret : So that 〈◊〉 ●irst they did devi●e To call him ●●ly ferret eyes . His face is round and Ovall to . Yet like a Cross in outward show ▪ For 's brow and chin are picked both , But 's Cheekes are of a lusty growth So high , so Plump , so round , so fair , Just like a naturall Trumpetter . Some have Noses that are high And some have Noses quit awry , And some broad noses have , that are Bucklers to the face , in time of ware . He thinks all noses a disgrace , Because that his lye● flat to 's face . If any ●his is the snuffling nose , Cause when he tells his tale , he 'll lose , No snuffling art , to helpe him out ; That those which heard him were in doubt , What Language he that time did speake , Nay some have call'd it Heathen Greeke . And likewise by his breath he may , A Trumpetter ▪ be call'd they say , Because it is so wonderous strong : And holds it out so very long . And those which sound a Trumpet well Must have strong breath we all can tell . His Lipps they both are black and blew , And never ●air on other grew , One askt how chance the hair was missing , He said for fear●t should spoyle his kissing . His Teeth when they appear'd in view , Were of a comely watchet hew . His Neck so short you can't perceive it Which maks me w●ll●ng now to leave 't , And come unto his Armes which are , So finely short , you 'd think they were Like two Bag-puddings : at which was Hands that were like , a Beares two pawes , And though his hands and fingers were , So v●ry short : yet he had there Such lovely Na●ls ; for ●ength : in lieu Of h●● shortness of the othe two , Some two Inches were : yet I confess , That some were more , and some were less . His Back w●s round and wonderous high , Much like a Globe to study by : One which came out two splinter-bones , Ioyn'd at top , as 't were for the nonce , So that a paire ( we might 'em call ) Of Compasses , to worke withall : Nay some when first they saw his back , Did say it was fit to beare a pack , And that he 'd excellent porter make , By 's naturall Roul upon his back ; And others said which was much worss , That sure a Camell was his Nurss . Sure he was not so very a Beast , To such another : yet i' th East , Your Camells milk is good they say , And drink 't they do both night and day : But howsoever one that met him ▪ Did think a Camell did beget him . His Belly was so round about , That half a yard t' is standing out , That when he has a mind to dine There is no place , for bread and wine ; And meat beside ( it is no fable ) And serves him for an excellent table . And when he is pleas'd to eate , He will have every day fresh meat ; A Joynt or two , and that 's the least : Some times to three , it is increast . And this must be the very cheef , And lovely'st part of all the beef ; That is about the neck you know , Whether it be , of Oxe , or Cow ; And sometimes for a second Course , A large beasts liver : but never the worse ; Vnless this is not to be had , Then with worss meat he will be glad . All which he whipps up in a trice , For he in 's diet is nothing nice ; And yet these costly dishes must , Be thrice a day provided just : And at the close of every meall , He eates a peck of Appls still . Besides three pound of Suffolk Chees , Not all at once , but by degrees ; And drinks but three times at a meale , twelve quarts in all , that 's no great deale , If more , he could not in have trol'd it , For how cou'ds little belly hold it . He Sings so sweet we all do know , That if a peece of Ordinance goe Off at that time , under your eare Yet if you did his Singing heare , You 'd find his loud inchanting voyce , VVou'd drown that great , and thundering noise . No Lyon sings so sweet as he , Nor braying Asse more pleasantly ; Nor Bellowing Bull , or Lowing Cow Does sing so well as he we know ; Nor houling Dogg , or grunting Sow , Sings half so sweet as he does now . His Thighs are wonderous bigg about , And so'r his Leggs from knee to foot , No difference is twix leggs and thighs , Cause both are of an even size ; From the top of 's thigh unto his foot , The least part 's half a yard about . His Feet they are so very short , VVe may compar'em in any sort , Vnto a horse foot ; as they say Because his toes are worne away . That when he 's Pleas'd to walk about , He stumps it quit the streets throughout . But when that you do see him dance , You never saw the like in France , For running bory , or corrant You●l see the worth of my gallant . He 'd stump it out so rarely well , That Banks his horss , he doth excell . But when you see him dance a Jegg , Never was such a nimble grigg ; More fast then Snail he trips about , Yet ne're in time or figure out ; He that dances the best in town can't , Foot it so smooth as my Gallant . Some say that he 's an arrent Sott , And so by that his credit spott ; Which may be a means to spile his match : But I that still do by him watch ; Can excuse him , and safely say , He 's never drunk above twice a day . Last I must Sound his Valour out , For never man was half so stout , No Clineas ever fought so well , When he on great Dametas sell ; Yet they two were , I dare ingage , The greatest Champions , of that age ; Thus have you heard the story true , Of my Gallant and 's vertues too ; How every vertue did him grace , And every one , in there due place ; With all 's parts , inward , and outward , And 's name's cal'd Sr Grigory Cow●t — . SONG . 8. The Shepheard , and the Milkmaid ; The Tune , the 4. figure Dance a● Mr Youngs Ball. I 'le tell you a tale of my Love and I , How we did often a milking goe ; And when I look't merri●y then she wou'd cry , And still i● her fits she us'd me so : At last I plainly did tell her my mind , And then she began to love me , I askt her the cause of her being unkind , She said it was only to prove me . I then did give her a kiss or two , Which she return'd with interest still I thought I had now no more to do , But that with her I might have my will. But she being taught by her crafty Dad , Began be to cautious , and wary . And told me when I my will had had , The divell a bitt I would marry : So marry'd we were , and when it was o'r I told her plain in the Parsonage Hall , That if she had gin me my will before , The Divell a bit I 'de a marry'd at all . She smil'd and presently told me her mind , She had vow'd she 'd never do more so , Because she was cozen'd in being to kind ) By three or four men before so . SONG . 9 , A Shepheard to his Skepperdiss , and her answer . MY Lovely Philles ▪ Since it thy vvill is . To Crovvn thy Damons head vvith Daffadi●ies . See yonder Hill is , mine , my deare Phillis , Which shall be all thine ovvn , not Amarillis . Chorus . For this foolish Love , has b●ought me so ●ow That I fear I shall dy if my Phillis say no. Then be But kind to me , And e're I 'm joynd to thee , All my flocks and my Lands shall be asign'd to thee . My faith I 'le vovv to thee , And promiss novv to thee , All that thou shalt desire , I vvill alovv to thee . Chorus . For this foolish &c. I know that wealth may prove , Oft times a bane to love , But ho●e it never will , thy heart from me remove . My fleecy flocks thou knowest , Are not the least nor most , True love I 'de rather have , then in all riches boast . Chorus For this foolish love has brought me so low . That I fear I shall dye if my Phillis say no. SONG . 10. Her answer . MY dearest Damon now , I to thy will must bow , And for performance on 't , I here do make a vow ; I know that Hill is thine , Which thou say'st shall be mine ; Yet t is not that which maks me now my heart resign ▪ Chorus For this paltry love has so chang'd my mind . I am certain to dye , if my Damon's unkind . And 'fore I am joyn'd to thee , I wi●l be kind to thee , Nor shall thy flocks and Lands , now be asignd to me . ●now thy word will take ' And here a vow I make . For to leave all men else , for my dear Damon's sake . Chorus . For this paltry Love , &c. No wealth shall make me prove , False to my Damons love ; And for Testators on 't , I call the powers above . In signe of Amity , Our flocks shall joyned be , E're that Coniugall knot is tyed twixt thee and me . Chorus . For this paltry love has so chang'd my mind , I am certain to dye , if my Damon's unkind . SONG . 11. The discontented Milk maid . Near to a Grove I chanc't to spy . A pritty buxome Country lass ; I hid my self i' th Grove there by ; Whil'st she sat milking on the grass . O me ( says she ) with grief I swell , Thus to be delay'd so long : And to live a maid so long , Vowing she 'd nere lead Apes in hell . My mother was at fifteen wedd And did o' th Marryage ●leasure taste : Ere sixteen she was brought to bed ; And I am seventeen now , and past : Then did she begin to sigh and groan , That her fortune was so bad , And no comfort to be had , Seeing she still must lye alone . My Mother yet did ne're repent , That she married was so soon : Then have not I my time misspent , That thus have lain so long alone ? Then on her Mother rail'd , and said , Out upon these Virgin Beds , There 's no loss in Maiden-heads , Nor a greater curse then dye a Maid . SONG . 12. On a House-warming Feast . THere is a place cal'd Cannons-row , ( Which most in Westminster do know ) And in a Court within the same , At S●gar House , so cal'd by name ; And 't was upon the day thirteen Of cold December , and between The hours , I think of two and three , A handsome Feast I chanc'd to see ; Which was , it seems , to entertain Some pretty Ladies with their train : There also was to attend'em then , Some young , but sober Gentlemen ; How young and sober , that 's strange you 'l say , This Age affords no such every day : But 't is true , I do protest , or My Dames had ne're came out a door , And having then so brave a crew , For Prettynes and humour too ; 'T was pitty but the Feast should be Answerable to the Company ; And so it was : But yet before I do describe the Dishes o're , I must acquaint you with the cause , Why that same Feast at that time was ; Some cal'd a Goodding , but I don't , That word ( by any means ) approve on 't : But I must give 't another name , That 's House-warming ; because they came To honest You●●rick ( who was indeed ) Their Master , that they all agreed ; O●t o th' respect to him they bore , For teaching them so well before , To warm his House , as I remember So 't had need , 't was in D●cember ; And warm'd it was exceeding well : And I the Dishes now will te●l , With Wine and other thing , were there In Ridling Terms , if you will hear . The first Dish t●at up was brought , Was three fat Hen● ( better sed then taught ) With lovely Bacon red as rose , And store of Sprouts to attend those , Which fortified'em so about , Till that 's destroyed , we got none out . Next Dish was three Duks , with Larks store , That in good Sauce was cover'd o're ; All which was put into a Tray , Herre sent 'em in that very day . The next Dish then Gods Benison . Light on him for 't , it was a Venison Pasty , large , fat , and eke good crust , Not with a Hogo , as some must Have , to set it of , but very sweet ▪ Which was the cause , it went so fleet Of , that we all can boldly say , That Pye went not a begging that day : And when it came , 't was piping hot ; But how 't was sent it , I 've forgot , Since I don't know , I need not pen it ; But now I think upon 't , I ken it : He 's handsome , witty , and good humour too , Faith for the rest , give 'em their due . Next was a large and goodly Pye , Fil'd with a Goose was plump , and high ; With two Rabbets to keep him warm , Like Gixzards stuck under each arm , With Butter fil'd up to the brim , That we believ'd the Goose did swim , Now as well as when he was alive ; And 'cause the Rabbets could not dive , And fearing that they then might drown , Took 'em under 's arms up and down : For she did swim when alive I 'me sure , But to swim dead , I think that 's more : The largeness of it the Table grace 't , And crust as good as e're was taste : This came not from a High Land we know But from a More , that 's always low For Geese do gaggle , swim and grase , Still in Mores , both Nights and Days . The next Dish large was I confess , With Tarts of all sorts numberless , That this time of the Year did afford ; And 't was indeed a Dish for a Lord : They stood so fine in rank and file , Which made a Souldier there to smile , To see 'em marshald in that manner : Said , there wanted nothing but a Banner , To make 'em a compleat Company , The number being full to the eye : This Dish though●t did the Table grace ▪ Yet it came from a ●enny place , The Sugar so was crusted on 'em , Just like Fe●s when the Frost 's upon 'em . The last Dish , of which I now do treat , Came not toth ' Table with the Meat , ( But 't was with Dish or Tarts set up , Until that they 'd a mind to Sup , ) Was a Cake with Plums almost to the top , Which made him blow that brought it up : 'T was crusted so with Sugar round , It lookt like Snow upon the ground , That w●en we in our Knives did put , We did that time an inch deep cut In Sugar , e're we could come at The Plums : that all which at Table sat , At first did think 't all S●gar throughout ; But when they tryed the second bout , They found the Plums ; which Cu●r●●t were Well washt , and cleanly done I●le swear ; Besides with sweet Meats was set round , That scarce a vacant place was found : This Cake in a Smiths shop was fo●g'd , Which was so very big , it gorg'd The Ovens mouth ; they forc'd were tak 't Back again , or 't had not been bak't : For it was of so g●eat a Size , They were forc'd to make it Pasty wise ; And of the bigness of this Cake , It may be some may think I speak Hyperboles now ; far be 't from me , To speak untruths , 't is v●rity : And my good Dame gave me piece on it ▪ That I three days did feed upon it . And after they had danc'd their fill , For Supper then they had a will ; Where that great Cake , and Dish of Tarts ( Which equally was cut in parts ) Did feast some twenty Souls that day , Besides what each one car'd away . And then there was such Sider too , That I do now protest to you , All the Company that were there , Said , they scarce drank better any where ; 'T was not of Pippins , or Pearmaine , But that which came from Maidenlane , But red streak right ; and 't was so good Appetite to get , and stir the blood , An 't came they say , as I do hear , From 's own Country Hereforashire ; But for his name I do protest , I cannot tell which way 's the best , To describe it te' e : but now I hat't , His Surname now I think was that , That was the Conquerours Christen name , If S be added to t●e same . As well as Sider , I now must treat , Of excellent VVine , to this good meat : There was a Gardiner to this crew , Though none o th' grapes in 's Garden grew ; Yet he at that time with his spade , A Vintners Cellar did invade , VVhere he digg'd out such excellent VVine , VVhich he with 's pruning hooks did refine ; Of which he then sent in good store Of Bottles , more then half a score ; VVho paid for it a lusty rate , 'Cause he 'ed not hav 't Sophisticate . The Postscript . Thus have you heard the Story now , Of this House-warming Feast and how 'T was then brought unto the Table , ( As well as I poor heart am able ) And when the Feast , and all was done , The Gentlemen did every one , VVhen the departing hour was come , Attend the pretty Ladies home . And for the Musick that was there , I can no price set on 't , I 'le swear It was so good ; who did that night , ( Because the Moon did shine so bright ) Go out a Syranading then , VVith all those former Gentlemen . And when they 'd done , then back they came , VVhere every Ladies health by name VVas drank , with great sobriety ; And each bid other then God buy . FINIS . SONG 13. The decayed Lady . The Tune : When Aurelia first I courted : Or , To the Gavot . VVHen first I saw my pretty Molly , She had Youth and Beauty store : She was Witty , Lively , Brisk , and Jolly , None cou'd Mistris be of more , But old Time has made a slaughter , Of those gloryes did her grace ; And in Liev there of has brought her Wrinkles , to supply their place . She i th' Spring time of her glory , Wore such Charmes within her Eyes , That but let her stand before ye , She wou'd every heart surprize : But when voice and Lute united Were , they 'd answer'd so in parts . You 'd think the Sphears were all Invited Then , to Captivate our hearts . Had you then at Court but seen her Walk Corrant , or Pory run , You 'd think sh 'ad so much life within her , As if she had not danc'd but flown : But Old creeping Age alas ! has On her Face been too to bold , Which she believ'd not , till her Glass has Now confirm'd she 's grown to Old. Then my Molly I advise you , Never think of Loving more ; For those Cullyes now despise ye , That admir'd you heretofore : That which erst did so ellur'em , Now 's extinct , and fled away ; Nought but Treats can now procur'em , For to make a Minuts stay . SONG 14. A Friends advice to the dispairing Lover . PRethee Damon , why so pale , Is 't Love has brought thee to 't ? If looking well will not prevail , Sure , looking ill will never do 't . Then chear up Boy , take my advice , And drink a Glass or two Of bonny Sack ; 't will in a trice To admirarion mend thy hue . VVell how is 't now ? come th' other Cup , It 'gins to work a pace , By that time half a score are up , A Scarlet dye will cloath thy face . Thy Countenance being thus refind , Then to thy cruel Mis , That Ruddy hue will change her mind , And doubtless will return a kiss . For fainting Looks all VVomen hate , 'T is courage they admire ; And him they 'l chuse to be their mate , That 's not compos'd of Earth , but fire . For Sack is so Divine a thing , Then which there 's nothing better ; If 't will from her no comfort bring , 'T will make thee quite forget her . SONG 15. The Battle of the Verbes . IVbeo commanded all the Verbes that they Should meet together on a certain day : Colligo gathers them ; then Duco being made Their Captain , them to 'th fight doth lead : Incipio doth begin the Battle ; and Valiant Pugno fights him hand to hand ; Clango commands the Trumpet then sound out : But Clamo he cryes all the Field about : Poor Timeo is affraid : and Fugio shuns The Battle : ●equor follows : Curro runs : Cedo gives ground , which made bold Iuro swear , And often cal'd for Voci●● to hast the Rear : Iuvo though long at last doth bring him aid , Yet Amo's being in Love made him affraid : He then bid Decco teach him how to wield His Sword : Says Lego , 't was read to him i th' Field : And I says Auaio then did hear the same : Troth says Accuso , then he 's much too blame : Induo was bid to put his Armour on ; And Incito to stir him up was wrought upon : Immediately poor Iugulos throat was cut ; Says Instigo , he egg'd me on to do 't . Lateo lay hid behind a quick set hedge , Which Video seeing , set his teeth an edge , To make complaint : Says Haurio , you will draw An Oaium on you self ; which when Cerno saw , He bid Lacesso not provoke too much : ' Twou'd put , says Pono , courage in a Dutch - Man in the next Line : Liveo then was beat Quite black and blew , by Retro's back retreat : And Salio then over the Ditch would leap , But Ajo said it was too broad and deep : Dimico in skirmish got two wounds that bled , And at his 〈◊〉 poo● M●rio● soon lay dead : Sepelio buried him , Fodio digg'd his Grave , And honest Scribo writ his Epitaph ; Which stir'd up Excito to fight again ; That Voco c●l'd him valiantist of Men : Bless me , says Beo ▪ how gallantly he fought ; And Iubilo for very Joy did shout : Caedo who e're he meet did beat 'em all ; And at the last he made poor Cado fall : Candeo then began to look white with fear ; But Horreo dreaded nothing , as I hear : Amplector say , I do embrace the fight ; And Aperio did open to the left and right : Al●ereor 'gan to wrangle with them all , Which made Arcesso presently go to call Augeo ; who did rather encrease , then stop This Jarring : that it stir'd honest Cieo up , To speak to Vulgo , that he should publish round The Field , how that the Enemy then gave ground : This made Fremo roar ; and Furo to be mad To follow'em : But Hortor did exhort , that they Shou'd not do 't ; yet Propero did hast away : Increpo began to blame him much indeed ; And Iurgo likewise did him soundly chide : Then Blatero began to babble like an Ass ; That Calco kickt him , as by him he did pass ▪ Then Cogo swore he 'd force'em for to fight ; And Cito summon'd'em all that very night : Lugeo did mourn , and pray'd there might be Peace ; And Cudo coin'd a lye to make 'em cease Fighting : which made hairbrain'd Execroy curse : Then Ejulo , and Ploro too , did wail , & said 't wou'd be worse : Duro said , that he 'd endure unto the end ; But Damno did condemn him for it , like a Friend : Fingo did fein a lye , that he might be gone ; But Cens●o did censure him for 't , and every one Besides : Hio began to gape for breath , they say ; And Halo wanted breath that very day : Macto began to kill without remorse ; And Paro did prepare to meet his force : Then Paveo dreaded , that this might mischief bring ; And P●n●o , and Pendeo did weigh every thing In the Ballance of Justice : Says Oleo , I smell There 's Traytors amongst us ; Says Tu●eo , I swell With gr●ef to think on 't ; and so did Thrgeo too : Says ●uspicio I suspect it as well as you ; And blam'd ●itupero much , that was the cause on 't ; That ●ol● he was forc'd likewise to fly upon 't : N●go deny'd that he had any hand in it : Says Sc●u●or , I 'le search't out within this Minnit : Trunco then did mangle all came near him : And Trudo thrust so strong , that all did fear him : Temno did despise all danger that might come ; And Vibro brandisht out his Sword , and lookt grum Upon 'em all : Vito to avoid this storm , Hid ●imself in a hollow Tree ( poor Worm , ) And 〈◊〉 likewise went to visit him there : At last Vulgo publisht abroad where they were : R●go and Pito , askt Pardon ●o● their fault , Because they fear'd they might be brought To punishment : And Quatio 'gan to shake : Vlciscor swore , that he revenge wou'd take ; Which made Vlulo houle for very grief , Until that Venio did come to his relief : Vindico did challenge any there to sight , Which Renno did refuse at the first sight ; Propago did shrink the fight for to prolong , And Probo being then among the throng , Did approve of what he said : and Pateo he , Lay open to these slanders , which made him flee : Repo did creep from thence into a Wood , VVhich Veto forbid , saying , 't would do no good : Dormio then told'em he must sleep a while ; Yes , yes , says Vmbo , lye down on that pile Of Bavins : Says Exuo then put of too Your Armes : 't is best says Facio so to do : Says Cupio then , Faith now I covet drink ; I believ 't says Creao , but where 's the chink To purchase it ? Says Do , I give it him : Come then , says Pleo , fill it to the brim : Bold Scindo then was cut into the brain ; And Fluo swore the Blood flow'd out amain : Says Frico , rub his Temples well be sure : And I , says Precor , will pray for his cure : VVhich made poor Horr●● then to dread the fight ; And Gaudio did rejoice , when out of ●ight , Gemo began to groan ▪ being wounded sore ; Says Bibo , let him drink a little m●●e o th' Cordial : but Mutio muttering by , Frango did break his head immediately : Foveo did cherish all this bleeding crew , And Nutrio he nourisht some of 'em too : Faetio did stink for fear , when he did see , Ferio strike down another : And Fugo he As well as his Brother Fugio flyes : and Flo VVith fighting long began to puff and blow : Fleo did weep extreamly , for to see , Flagito to beg for 's life so earnestly . I must confess that Fatior got renown , And Fatigo was weary too , with looking on : Fido did trust to much unto his broken blade , VVhich made Festino hasten to his aid : Fallo did deceive'em all , for when he found The Bullets hiss , he fell upon the ground : That honest Cogito did think him dead ; Experior too did try to rub his head : Doleo griev'd that Death should thus o'retake him : Yet Expergiscor did at last awake him : Exerceo then did exercise his crew ; But he like Desero did forsake him too : Festo stood too 't : Advenio then comes to him , VVhich when Obsecro saw , he then did woe him , To invade bold Ingruo ; that Scandeo he Did climb for safety up on Oaken Tree : Then Simulo did counterfeit a wound or two : Singultio likewise sobbs to see him so . Arto being dry , did wish his inside wetter ; No matter , says Ardeo , you 'l burn the better . I was betraid , says Dr●do , to this dismal day ; Yet Prurio's fingers itch to fight they say : Pungo was prickt toth ' heart , when upon him Premo did press ; yet Vinco overcame him . Meo unto the Battle hast doth make ; But Desino doth the Field forsake : Spiro to breath doth forbear to smite : But crafty Evito doth escape the F●ght : Miror in wonder standing much amaz'd ; And faint Aspicio on the Batt●e g●z'd : Supero did overcome who e're he meet , An● Gratulor did the valiant Hero greet : Sp●ro did hope , Sperno to put to fl●ght ; And Redeo returned wounded from the fight : Stringo did strein himself to overcome Bold Puso , who quickly st●uck him down : Then Tuno thunder'd in with might , and main , To help Succurro , which was almost slain : Ferreo waxt hot , by all these great All●rms ; And Fido trusts more to his feet then Arms : Luo discharg'd a Bullet then so right , The Powder scorcht poor Vstulo that night : Luxo then did put his Arm quite out of Joint , That Vngo was forc'd at last it to annoint : Erro mistook the place , and wander'd up and down ; And Equito after him , rod from Town to Town : Coru●co● Arms glister'd in the Fight that day ; And Mico's shin'd likewise , as some do say : Metuo did fear to meet too , as I hear , Yet at last with Misceo mingled in the Rear : And Occulo did hide himself behind a Tree , Which Monstro shew'd to all the Company : Sad Verto turned from one side to the other ; And Muto chang'd too , as if he were his Brother : Nuo did nod his head at some was there , That Neco had almost kill'd him , when he came near : But Mulceo did asswage his fury then ; And Parco brought forth Peace to all these Men : And though Congruo did advise'em all agree , And allured Lacio of his party to be : Yet Cingo girds his Sword about him then ; And Iungo joins with other Martial Men : Ausculto hearkens what they mean't to do ; Emo buyes Armour to defend ●im too : Titubo did stumble by his too much hast ; Vacillo stagger'd too , they strook so fast : Laedo was hurt , and 's Brother Nocco too , And Tucor defends himself with much ado : Tego was cover'd with a gallant Sheild , Yet Verbero beat him so , he was forc't to yeil● : Plango did much lament his grievous chance , 'Cause Ico smote him with his direful Lance : Ruo did rush into that furious Fight ; Which did , they say , poor Terreo much affright : Sarc●o did patch his Armour , 't was so old , Which D●mo took away , he was so bold : Languco did languish 'cause his wounds were deep ; And Serpo from the Battle soon did creep : Bold Voveo vow'd , that he 'd have Armour none ; And Obliviscor too forgot to put his on : Palleo lookt very pale , and wou'd a fled , but Undaunted Teneo soundly held him to 't : Findo did cleave his Enemies scull that day ; Yet Medior made a shift to heal't , they say : Formido did dread to come into the Fight ; And Culpo b●am'd him for 't , they say , that Night : Voco did call on Vado to go on : Poor Labo fains ; and Iaceo cast him down : But Recupero did recover incontinent ; For Spero gave him hope , being almost spent : As I live , says Vivo , Statuo did appoint Me Ensigne , 'cause at first I did win 't : Noseo said , he knew 't : Mentior swore he lyed : Then Acuo whets his Sword , that hung by 's side : Peace , Peace , says Taceo : Sudo sweat for fear , And Surgo rose , and fled into the Rear : Singultio then began to sob , they say , Because Provoco challeng'd him that day : Cubo fell down ; and Capio did him take Up again , when he could scarcely speak : Frenaeo then did gnash with 's teeth so hard , He drove away poor Pello from the Guard : Come says , Invenio , I do clearly find , Maneo did well to tarry still behind : For Incen●o here has let us all on fire ; And I 'le begin , says Inchoo , to retire : Oro prays heartily , that it may succeed ; I 'le shew you a way , says Indico with speed : Consulo's Councel they did not despise : Condono said , he 'd pardon his Enemies : Fascino thought he was bewitcht he swore : But Sino said , that he had suffer'd more Then all Impertio did Impart it to 'em all : And I command ▪ says Impero , great and small : Obedio vow'd that he 'd the first obey ; And Moneo did admonish the same way : Nay , says Narro , I 'le report it round the Field , Nolo , though unwilling , yet at last doth yield : And Velo was as willing , I do protest ; Yet Malo was more willing then all the rest : I have a mind , says Habeo , for to join With all this crew : and Rego says , he will resign His rule : Sto was at a stand , and gaz'd about ; And Certo striv'd to draw this Rabble rout , To some agreement : at last Loquor's speech , Did by degrees quite soder up the breach : ( Though Predico did preach before in vain , And Suadco did perswade with might and main : ) And Fungor did discharge his duty right ; And he with Vnio caus'd'em all unite : And Dico said 't was best from War to cease : Last Sancio he establish did a Peace : Though Solvo paid'em for their service done : Then Iurgo chid those from the Fight did run : Finio the Battle ends : yet most do say , Though Iacto bragg'd , yet Vinco won the day : Numero numbers all who that were slain ; And Opto wisht it might ne're be so again : Parco was very glad that he was spar'd , And Partio did devide the spoil was shar'd : Irascor was angry , and began to fret , 'Cause Adsum was not present when they met : But Salto danc'd ; and Ludo then did play On 's Instrument for Joy of that happy day : 'T is best , says Lavo , wash our throats then cut 'em ; And Tundo knockt for Liquor , which was brought'em : Yet Turgeo , and Tumeo began to swell , 'Cause Placeo at the Peace was not pleas'd well : Says Veto , Iove forbid that we again Should fight : to which they all did cry , Amen . SONG 16. A Mock , to the Song cal'd Lay by your pleading . And to that Tune . LAy by your fighting , Misses are inviting , All the Millitary Boyes , To that they most delight in : Small power the Sword has , And on my word has Not so great a Privelledge As Misses now afford us ; They 'l kiss us , and clip us , And st●ll in pleasure keep us ; And in little while , of all We have , will strip us ; They still will be kind too , and are inclin'd too , Pay what they borrow of you , When the Devil 's blind too . All you Citty Blades too , Leave of your Trades too , Misses have a better way to Trade , Which never fades too : Trading is decaying , Is your constant saying , And that your Customers are Backwards still in paying : Then cleave to your Misses , That the greatest bliss is ; And what you want in Purse , You 'l have it in Diseases , They ne're will forsake ye , Until they break ye : Then hey for a Voyage too , Virginea , or Iamaica . Off goes the Gown too , Law now must down too ; And every Lawyer must stoop To 's Mistris Frown too : Nay , when they 'r pleading , And Law a reading , If his Miss a Caveat put , that Stops all proceeding ; If her credit fail Boyes , You must put in Bail Boyes , And from Fee simple , you shall Tennant be in Tail Boyes ; Then by her weary tricks , Which you 'l think ayry tricks , Till at last you 'l Christen her by the name of Meritrix . SONG 17. The praises of a Cobler . The Tune : And 't is the Knave of Clubs bears all the sway . A Cobler is an excellent Surgeon , Because his Neighbours will be urging Him , to cure their Shoes again , When they come into old Shoe-lane : Which he can do with Awl his might , And with his Last set'em upright . Then he , no Man is Schollar greater , Because he is a great Translator , And Stiches also for a Friend ; But must ( alas ! ) be by his end ; So that themselves will under ley , Rather then Friends should tread awry . He in no Fish does deal at all , But only Soles ( both great and small , ) Yet loves Plase , else how cou'd he sit ; Yet I ne're saw him eat a bit On 't : and cures Soles that are decay'd , That they ( till next time ) shall not fade . When he has a mind some Fish to take , He of his thread a Net will make , And Pitch it still ▪ so excellently , That no Fish can e're pass by ; So that you 'l say , the draught must waxe The greater , when he up it takes . Me thinks Death shou'd not a Cobler kill , Because he makes him Soles at will : For Death has power on Bodies alone , But the Cobler when the Sole is flown , And sunder'd from the Upper-leather , 'T is he ( not Death ) must stitch't together . He is a Man , will never be Worse then now you do him see ; For he is fit to be employ'd , When places happen to be voyd : Nay , the fittest ●n all the Land , Because he 's still o' th mending hand . Thus you may see , the Cobler now A Surgeon is , an Schollar too ; And though he seldom deals in Fish , Yet when he please can have a Dish : For every Day he Soles doth make , And Plase his breech doth daily take . And that he 's mending still , and can Make Nets as well as any Man , And pitch'em too , better then many , That they shall waxe the best of any : And more then Death can do , you know , He mends the Sole , which Death can't do . SONG . 18. Vpon the taking down of the Kings Armes in the Rumps time in the Year 1649. When instead of plucking down them , on the Gate of the Physick-garden in Oxford : they were such excellent Heralds , that they pluckt down the Earl of Danby's Armes , who was the Founder there . IN sixteen hundred forty nine , When Cavaliers were forc'd to dine At Duke Humphreys Table still , ( But 't was poor hearts against their will : ) A dismal time , when Rump did fart yee , A thousand cracks 'gainst Royal party ; And when Kings Armes were plucking down , In every Citty , and in Town : In Oxford Citty there 's a place , Cal'd Physick garden , and little space From Colledge Magdalen doth stand , ( Well known to many in this Land ; ) From Mandlin bridge , it stands Northwest , So that must be from it South-east ; This is so plain you can not miss it , Then when yo 're there you 'l say this is it : The Walls that do surround this place , And Noble Gate , which do it grace , And all the Land within the same , For evermore will bear the name , As being the particular BountTy , of that Noble Nothern Count , Who to 's Prince toth ' last did stand by , Cal'd Henricus Comes Danby : This Gift , I say , was only his , ( For which no doubt he is in bliss ) Unto the poor University , Made so by 'th Rump , the more 's the pitty : And first of all this Rumpish crew , That then did there appear in view , With others that he thither brought , For to destroy , as then they thought , Their Princes Armes ; was a Collonel , Who indeed was a Preacher , as well As Souldier ; and so he began Then to preach to every Man , His Rumpish Doctrine ; and so bid Them be v●liant , and what they did He would secure both great and small , By an Ordinance from his Masters all ; An Ordinance it might be cal'd ( Which oft the Cavaliers have maul'd ) By thundring of us out of Town , From Post to Piller up and down ; But name of Act , it cannot bear , Yet 't was the Cor'nels Act I 'le swear : And with the Cor'nel there did go , His Lievtenant Collonel also ; And Major too , and Captains store , And Ensigns , and Lievtenants more . And of the County Comittee , There were about the Number three , With others at the Cor'nels call ; I think there was the Divel and all . But now comes out a pleasant Tale , ( If my Memory doth not fail ) Which in Oxford is very rife , For every Mouth , and true on my life : On the right hand of that brave Gate , Were Kings Armes plac'd in handsome state , And likewise Crown , and Garter too , As 'bout the Armes they use to do ; O' th left hand was the Founders Armes : Bold Danvers , who with loud Allarmes , The Irish Rebels conquer'd so In little time , he had no soe To wreak his valour on ; whose same Was spread abroad : that 's very name Would scatter all that Kerni●● crew : But Danvers cry , away they s●ew : And before he came from thence , Forc'd 'em to own their Natural Prince . For which important Service done , By way of Retaliation : King Iames with tittle then did greet him , of Baron Danvers ; which did meet him , For he came to kiss his Hand , and 's Son Charles the First ; for other Service done , Did Earl of Danby him creat , And Knight of the Garter ; ( Honours great ) Yet none for him too great was thought , Who for his Prince so bravely fought : So that by this , I 'de have you note , He had the Garter round his Coat , And Coronet also ; which did make , Among our Heroes the great mistake : Which made for what I do intend , ( And then I 'le draw unto an end : ) These gallant New made Gentlemen , With the County Comittee then , And others of that new Dubd-crew : When both these Coats they chanc'd to view , Like wise Men did with one accord , Command the Armes of this brave Lord To be pull'd down , Instead o' th Kings : And so they flew , as 't were with wings , For to pull down as then they thought , His Majesties most Royal Coat ; Sure they were of Sences berest , Not to know the right from the left . That they were Schollars you can't deny , 'Cause in the University : And wonder 't was what Heraldry then , Was 'mong our Rumpish Gentlemen . Or were they at that time affraid , To touch that Princely Coat ; they laid Not violent hands upon it then , But I remember the time when They durst attack , as well as Crown , His sacred Person too , 't is known : Sure Providence did cast a mist Fore the Cor'nels eyes , and all the rest , They could not see that very day , 'Cause their Chief light is within they say : If so then 't was Prophetick , sure That they should only then obscure ( And for a time to cloud ) the Crown , But for their lives not pull it down . Though the Officers so little knew , And Gentlemen of that great crew , What did belong to Armes ; 't is strange The Souldiers that did use to range Themselves each day in rank and file , ( And many times their Armes recoile ) And then the chief word of Command , Was stand to your Armes , to every band , Which they being often used to do , Made them let the Kings Armes stand too . Then after this , in merriment They all unto the Tavern went , To congratulate each others Act , And all to own that prudent fact : There were some twenty Officers , With Comittee-Men , Friends of theirs ; So that there were about thirty two , Of this most Solemon like crew , Who had at least four Pints of Sack Amongst 'em all to strengthen the back : And though they would not wench , nor swear , Yet you see drink hard when they came there : Nay , that they might seem more profuse , ( Which was indeed their common use ) In half Pint pots 't was still brought up ; But yet before they 'd touch the Cup , VVith Hat in hand would blessing crave , Least poyson'd by a Cavalier Knave . And as they thus sate carrowsing , In comes a bold Fellow , using Great reverence to that learned gang , Saying , they were better to hang Then keep ; and having a Pint of Sack In his hand , he like a mad Hack , Drank the Kings health , and then threw The Pot among that spend-thrift Crew : Saying , Pox take you all ; and then flew Down stai●s , without bidding'em Adue . Though they command Kings Armes pull down , Yet still hung up some of their own ; VVhich did Prognosticate , I say , Their Armes should first hang up , then they , VVe were so far from putting down Their Armes , we set'em up in Town : Nay , they were so highly grac't , That o're the Kings Armes they were plac't , On every Gate , about the Citty : Not sooner done , the more 's the pitty : The Rump their Jugglings so did handle , They all went out like snuff of Candle : And those who bought King , or Bishops Lands , At the happy Change , had their hands Eas'd of all that mighty trouble , After they had brought the Rents to double : So may they all be serv'd , that persists Not in heart , and voice , true Royalists : And also those that do repine At this our Change : who by Divine Hand , was then so brought about , To scatter all that cursed rout ; VVho had deserv'd it long before , For Cruelty , but Treason more . FINIS . SONG 19. A Mock to Joan , to the May-pole away let us run . And to that Tune . TOm to the Tavern away let us run , The VVine wil waste , and soon be gone : Thus goes the Bubbing Boyes of the Town ; Nay the Trades , as well as the Gown : Then Tom , Prethee come , Good VVine has no need of a Bush Boy ; I but Nick , VVhat says Dick ! Bad VVine is not worth a rush Boy . Did you but see the Man of the House , How he does with every crew Carrowse ; VVhich he 'd ne're do , if'twere not good , To cherrish the heart , and stir the Blood ; Prethee haste , Time does waste , So will the VVine , by our long delaying ; And there You need not fear To be askt , till the Quarter day for paying . Lately I was at a House in Paris , Near to the Church of great St. Maryes , VVhere by the means of a Friend of mine , VVe there did get most excellent VVine : But Tom , This at home Is far richer VVine then that Boy , Come then Dick , Let 's be quick , For I shall sadly long till I ha 't Boy . Their Stomachs then being whet with desire , Away they march , being both on a ●ire , To taste that blessed Bub , as they cal 't , VVhich suddainly did their brains assault : Then Tom He came home Reeling ripe , making Indentures ; And Dick VVas very sick , Yet to his Lodging reelingly ventures . SONG 20. The praise of the Glasiers Trade . The Tune is : My Dame Jaon has pawn'd her Kettle . A Glasier is more excellent Surgeon , Then any Trade about the Town , Because he daily cures by purging , All the VVindows up and down : Some from their cracks , And some from their hacks , And some from the holes that causes wind ; And some from below , And about you must know ; And some from before , and some behind . His Neighbours say , both Friends and Foes , He 's fit to be a Constable , Because He Quarrels doth compose , And from that he does seldom cease : And when they 'r done , Then every one Unless a Foot-ball does'em meet , ( They 'r perfect and sound , And without a wound ) Or from a Quarrel in the Street . Besides he is an Enemy To Idleness , we all do know : No Trades man takes more Panes then he , Within Doors , and without , 't is so . But by those he takes Abroad , he makes His Purse the fuller every day : Yet some that have had Great pains , have been glad● To empty their Purse , to get 'em away . He has a Servant heavy as lead , Goes round the Quarrels every day , He 's lumpish , dull , and is ill-breed , But very stout the Neighbours say , He has need be stout , Or he cou'd not do 't ; Which is to every one a wonder , That he alone , Without any one , Shout keep so many Quarrels assunder . A Neighbour also said , he was Not fit to make a Constable : 'T was askt him why ? he said , because That he is making Quarrels still . Yes ; Why shou'd he not ? Though some have got Death , by Quarrels day and night ; Yet 't is not so By him , we know , For he does get his living by 't . You see that he 's a Surgeon now , And he all Quarrels does compose : And by those Quarrels he does too His living get , every one knows ; And takes more panes , For honest gains , Then any Trades-man whatsoe're ; And 's Servant Lead , Although ill-bred , ●s accounted stout , both far and near . SONG 21. On the Squibs and Crackets , thrown on the Lord Major's day . IT was upon the twenty ten Of dull October , being then The Lord Major's show , or else his Day , So cal'd by 'th Vulgar , as they say : I speak not of that glorious crew , That past us by in open view . As first the Companies several , Belonging to each others Hall , All clad in black , with half red tip it , Who on their Pettitoes did Trip-it ; Nor of those Velvet Coats so black , With Chaines of gold hung on their back ; Nor of that Teem of Scarlet Riders , Who of the City Wards are Guiders ; Nor of the Troops , and Horses fairnes , Whose Masters all were clad in Harnes , Whose Officers Coats bedecked were , With gold embroyder'd every where ; Nor the Foot , with Bag-pipe , Fife , and Drum , Who thither with the rest did come : Who came to attend Our Soveraign , Whom God to bless , with all His Train : Nor of those gallant Princely Coaches , To all I gave a Bonos nocies : But of those Gallants treat I do , That were Spectators of that Show : Who there were placed in Balconies , 'Mong which were many Ancient Cronies , And Ladies young ; who all there stood , I can't say sit , they wisht they cou'd : For in the twinkling of an eye , Such Squills and Crackets then did fly , In such a horrid fiery fashion , It forc'd them all , to change their station ; Least it should burn their Garments gay : VVhich borrow'd was perhaps that day : They cheefly flew like whirligigs , On curled Hair , and Perriwigs ; Nothing escapt'em , they were so set ▪ That all was Fish , that came to Net But two prettyer then the rest , That lodg'd were in a Traherns Nest ; On the Eldest flew with such a force , It burnt her Hood without remorse ; And had not then a Fen been near With water to quench it , I fear Her lovely Hair to wrack had gone ; Do all that e're he cou'd have done ; Some at this , wou'd a lookt pale , but she Fixt Roses in her cheeks Immediatly ; 'T is thought he might have sav'd her Hood , Had he not b'in a kissing Mood , With another that stood by him ; But let that pass , I 'le not bely him : To save it he some mischief got , For 's Perruke had like to a gone to 'th pot , And half Skirt too , or ●●me told a lye ; ( Take heed of kissing Friend , when Squibs do flye : ) Nay , they did fly that time so hot , It burnt the Youngers Petticoat , And one spark did from th' other skip , VVhich burnt our pretty Red-coats lip , Also a Lord ; but the Lord knows who It was , for it burnt his Breeches too , His Coat , and Perriwig , and Hat , And eke his richly lac'd Cravat . Nay , they from VVindows scarce cou'd peep , But suddainly they forc'd were creep Back again ; or those Ladies fair , VV●re sure to burn their Hoods and Hair ; No Gowns nor VVhisks did then escape , For on Petticoats they made a rape ; Not on those that were a top alone , But below , they were so sawcy grown : Pretty S : : : too did get her share , For 't burnt her Cuffs , and Hood , and Hair : And modest Sh : : : too , do what we cou'd , It burnt her Petticoat , and Hood : Had ye been ug●y , it ne're had meet ye : You see what 't is now to be pretty . And honest Youncrick , to secure A pretty Lady , did endure A hot contest , but by his leave It quickly burnt his half shirt Sleeve : The Author catcht on in 's hand a top , And flung't in 's face , that threw it up , To keep 't from them that were above , But by his favour , it burnt his Glove . Last , I advise if any go Next Year , to see the Lord Major's show , You must not in Balconies stand , Or Window , that 's low at any hand ; But i' th Garret , or Leads at top , For that 's too high , to fling'em up . So taking leave in Wood-street three Tun Cloisters , At the sign o' th Barrel , wherein we boil'd our Oysters . SONG 22. On a Lady , and her Chamber-maid . A Chamber Maid was got with Child , For which her Lady did call her Whore , And said , that she had her House defil'd , And vow'd she wou'd turn her out a Door : Who got the Child , says she , you Jade ? Your Husband , and please you Madam : VVhy , where you VVhore , forsooth she said , In the Truckle-bed at Hadham ? VVhy , where was I , I 'le know the truth ? Come tell me , or else I 'le make yee . In the High-bed fast asleep forsooth , And I was affraid to wake ye . VVhy did you not cry out , you Drab , VVhen first you saw he begun it ? Truly forsooth I was never a Blab Of my Tongue : wou'd you a done it ? And besides forsooth you know , That I your humour know too well , That when y' are suddainly wak't , you 'l throw And tear , like to a Fiend of Hell ; Nay , you 'l cry out with loud Allarmes , And fling what your fingers touches , That I had rather be in my Masters armes , Then ever to come in your clutches . VVhy did you not then sooner go You arrant Quean ? before 't was known , Truly Madam , 't is even so , Because that you had none a' your own : And Indeed , Madam , the truth to tell , I did think I well did plot it , Imagining you wou'd use it well , For his dear sake that got it . SONG 23. A Dialogue between a Gentleman and his Mistris . Man. LYe still Aminta , for the Light Comes from thy Star-like Eyes so bright : 'T is not the day that breaks you see , But my poor heart to part with thee . Woman . Alexis I must needs be gone ; Aurora's put her Mantle on ; And Night likewise has given way , To that which ushers in the day . Man. Aminta , Know it cannot be The Dawning yet as you may see : The Sun doe n●ver rise so soon : Those Glimmering beams come from the Moon . Wom. Come , come , Alexis , let me go , There 's danger in delay you know : Then let us part , my dearest Mate , Least we repent when 't is too late . Man. Aminta , what have I now done , That you from me so soon must run : It is indeed a sad return To me , who in your flames do ●u●● . Wom. Leave , leave , Alexis , prethee leave , You do your self , and me deceive : Come follow now what I advise ; 'T is good to be , both merry and wise . Man. Suppose 't is day , what if it be , Must you therefore arise from me ? Did we lye down , because 't was Night , And shall we rise for fear of light ? Wom. Well , well Alexis now I find , My kindness te' e has chang'd your mind : I thought y 'ad lov'd me heretofore , But now you 'l have me cal'd your Whore. Man. Why then Aminta let me dye , If e're within my breast did lye So base a thought to blast thy name , But studd'd to Increase thy fame . Wom. Then dear Alexis , let me rise , For Phoebus beams will bring in Spyes ; Which may descry what we have done , Seeing there 's no Cure , when Credit 's gone . Man. Come give me then a parting kiss ; And this my Dear , and this , and this , A fifth , and so we will give o're . Come tak 't says she : but now no more . The Chorus to it . Of this young Couple now , you see The Girl had greater wit then he : For had they been detected then , She knew they ne're shou'd meet agen : VVhich to prevent then , lost an hour , That he might many Nights come to her . So time well lost you see , though small , Brings Intrest great to VVomen all . SONG 24. The Diseases about the Town . The Tune : The Gun. I Sing of great Diseases all , That happen not at Spring , or Fall , But what happens round the Year , In every City , Town , and Shire : They 'r sicknesses of such a kind , That few Physitians have a mind , For to take the cure in hand ; VVhich you shall quickly understand , If you 'l promise me to Cure'em . First here 's one that doth complain , Of Chymeras in the Brain ; And being one of Natures Minions , He 's possess'd with strange Opinions : He will Dream at Night that he A New VVorld in the Moon does see ; And his wits have laid the ground Of the Earth still turning round : VVill your Purge or Vomit cure him ? Here 's another doth devise , A way to measure Earth and Skyes , And by that does grow so bold , To talk of Mountains full of Gold ; Nay , the Inchanted Island he , ( VVhere Men lives to Eternity ) Swares can tell us , if he wou'd , VVhere it is , both Ebb and Flood : VVill your Purge , or Vomit cure him ? There 's another Sick a bed , VVith a Meagrim in his Head , VVith great whimseys in his Brain , His Assertions to maintain : He tell you lyes , and swear they 'r true , That he has lately seen Peru , From thence to China sail'd away , And Ginny too ▪ all in a Day : VVill your Purge , or Vomit cure him ? Here 's a Man his Chamber keeps , That often talkes , and seldom sleeps , And all forsooth because his Miss , Did deny to giv'm a Kiss ; I 'de not be in God Cupid's Coat , Because he swears he 'l cut his throat , Unless he quickly pierce her heart , As he did his , with his Dart : Will your Purge , or Vomit cure him . There 's another that has run From a great Estate : and one As his Estate did run amain , He has still a running brain ; He talks of running Horses yet , And running Dogs that ne're were beat : Nay , although it comes by fits , 'Thas made him run out of his wits : Will your Purge , or Vomit cure him ? Here is one that much Invighs Against the State : another says , The Clergy they are grown to high : And he that in that Couch doth lye , Does say , the Law is very much Corrupt : and th' other does not grutch To give the Clergy all their due ; And likewise says , the Law is true : Will your Purge , or Vomit cure him ? There 's another says , the Age Is much debaucht ; and in rage Rails against Wine , and Misses too : But t'other give him his due , All the premisses deny'd , And told him to his face he ly'd ; So some of these , you see , must lye As well as they , or you or I : Will your Purge , or Vomit cure us ? I cou'd bring Diseases many , Could I see the Cure of any ; It is a sickly time you know , There will more Diseases grow : Some of yours , and some of mine , Some of his , and some of thine : But I 've said too much I fear , I 'le bring the rest another Year ; So you 'l promise me , to cur'em . SONG 25. A perswasive against Doating Love. The Tune is : As Alexander I must Reign , and I must Reign alone . THose dull , and Sottish Fools I hate , That pine , and dye for Love , And still repent when 't is too late , And then their folly prove ; Then why should I my fancy fix , On Women that are so ? I hate those proud , and slighting tricks , Pox take 'em let 'em go . I 've liv'd till thirty Years round , And never doated yet , Nor in these charmes was e're misled , Or caught in Cupids Net : And e're that I wou'd wedded be , To her that has betray'd Her Faith , to any other , I 'de live , and dye a Maid . I love a Girl that 's brisk , and smart In Reparties , and true ; And likewise for her outward part , I 'de have her handsome too : For he that weds a Fool , will find , There 's not so great a curse , And dayly will torment his mind , Then which there 's nothing worse . FINIS . SONG 26. A Mock to Farwel my Armid● . And to that Tune . FAr-well my dear Puggy , my Pullet , my ●ow bell , Thy Ferret eyes are as the cause of my grief : Thy voice is far lowder then ever was Bow-bell , And from the Clapper on 't grant me relief : Thy Brow lyes in Pleats , like a Loose-body'd gown , That some Men have thought , my dear Pigney did Because'tis in wrincles , & hangs o're her eyes , ( frown , Much like to a Bon-grace , to keep of the Flyes . Thy Nose stands so far out , on which a great dent is Just in the middle , much like to a hook , Which turns up so finely , and then so much bent is , As if 't were to hang on a pot for a Cook : And 't is of two kinds , for one keeps all in , But th' other hangs dangling still down to her chin , VVhich her pretty Mouth , o're-joy'd with the taste , Sometimes laps it in , that nothing should waste . And then thy sweet Pie-ba●●'d teeth much do delight me , Standing like Tuskes , on a long-snowted Pig , So loose they are set , that they never could bite me ; Nay , some have come out , with but eating a Fig : They never could bite me , 't is certain you know , Because they stand in and out , none in a row : Thy Lips are so sweet , and p●easant I vow , And then are for thickniss , like our brinded Cow. They white are like tallow , that never yet Man did Buss sweeter things , then those Lips of thine ; Nay , some Men have thought they were sugar Candy , Thy sparkling whiteness so finely did shine : Thy Breath is so sweet , and strong , that if Men VVere at the last gaspe , 't would fetch 'em again : Nay , had I my will , for ever I 'de dwell At thy pretty Mouth , for love of the smell . The rest of her parts I dare not discover , Thinking already too much I have spoke , And being my self so zealous a Lover , Should she be stollen , m'heart will be broke : But when we are Married , I vow and protest , I will not be jealous at all , in the least : I think in my Conscience I need not to do 't , For those that do know her , will ne're put her to 't . SONG . 27. The ●ver dispairing Lover . The Tune is : Bory Versaille . WHen first I saw my Phyllis face , Her Star-like Eyes , so bright did shine , I deem'd of no humane race , But did believe her all Divine , But when she sung , I thought her Tongue Was kept by all the Heavenly Spears , Who met with her , And fixed there , And every one that her hear , Did wish themselves all Ears . But when I saw her Jvory hand , To touch the Lute , I did admire , She had upon 't such command , As if 't were touch'd by 'th Heavenly Quire ; She play'd so well , She bore the Bell Away from all the Ladies there ; Who 'gan to blaze Abroad her praise , That every one was in a maze , Such Harmony to hear . She then began to dance a round , That every one , as well as I , Did see , she scarce did touch the ground . We thought she did not dance , but fly . She tript about Still in and out , But yet kept time , and figure too ; That all did say , That very day , She carri'd the Credit clear away , For dancing smooth , and true . There 's not a Man , of all the Crew , But was in Love , as much as I , Who lov'd her parts , and Person too ; If great Men love , my suit must dye , Nought but despair , Must be my share , And Death will be to me a gain : For since that I , Must not come nigh My Phillis , I 'le lye down and dye , To ease me of my pain . SONG 28. A Caveat to young Ladies . The Tune : Miss Mundays Cellabrane , made by Mr. Smith . I Ne're will Love agen , What e're betide me ; And from inconstant Men , Good Angels guide me ; Then Ladies must not be Swift in consenting , Least they sing Lachrymae , By late repenting . He promis'd wondrous fair , When first came to me ; Nor Oaths , nor Vows did spare , When he did woe me : His sug'red words , and smiles So wrought upon me , I ne're fore-saw his wiles , Till they 'd undone me . Then Ladies , now alas ! Thus you may mind them , As for to tr●st them as Far , as you find them : For if your selves you do Keep at that distance , You may , with credit too , Make them resistance . SONG 29. On a late Ball at Inn-holders Hall. I Chanc'd of late , to see a Ball Near Dow-gate ▪ at Inn-holders-Hall , Where I saw many that danc'd well ; But one did all the rest excell , In French dance , and in Cellabrane , She 'd foot it true , to every strain O' th Musick ; if fast , then she 's so ; If not , then she can dance as slow : But when she came to dance a Jig , I ne're saw such a nimble Grig , So lively , free , brisk , and ayry , I thought she was Vbiquitary : She tript so briskly up and down , You 'd think she had not danc'd , but flown : For lofting dancing , I protest , I think she did out do the best : Being up , she cut ye twice or thrice , E're she came down ; then in a trice Mount up again , and cut many more , That I saw ne're the like before : She at that time did do so well , From all she bore away the Bell. Go on , brave Girl , prethee go on , For if thou hold'st , as thou 'st begun , And in Child-hood hast done so well , In after times thou 't all excell . Besides I saw two little things , That look'd , me thoughts , like Cherubs wings ; I mean for Stature , and for growth , That if you had but seen 'em both , You 'd think that they but lately fell , From the Womb , and then came out o' th shell : And some to Palliate that , did say , They thought they suckt but th' other day : Yet these Sucklings did that Night , New Mottar , and Minoways so right , To the admiration of us all , That were Spectators at that Ball. Why , how now Friend , is 't possible , That Norfolk Men can do so well ! Henceforth for Kings-line I shall have A great respect , because it gave Birth to my Friend I. Rich : : : son , Who in this Ball so well hast done . SONG 29. A Mock to a Lover I am , and a Lover I 'le be , in the praise of Tobacco : And to that Tune . TObacco I love , and Tobacco I 'le take , And I hope good Tobacco I ne're shall forsake ; 'T is drinking , & wenching destroys still the Creature ; But this noble Fume , does dry up ill nature : Then those that despise it , shall never be strong ; But those that admire it , will ever look young . With Pipe after Pipe , we still keep in motion , In Puffing : and Smoking , like Guns on the Ocean , And when they are out , we charge 'em , and then We stop 'em , and ram'em , and recharge agen , Since we with Tobacco can keep ourselves sound , Let Bacchus , and Venus in Leth be drown . SONG 31. The Suddain Wedding . The Tune is : The Gun-fleet . I 'Me in Love says Noll . Indeed says Doll , But prethee say with who ? I fear , says he . Come speak , says she . Why then , it is with you . You jest , says Doll . Good Faith , says Noll , You do me wrong my Dolly . But Men ; says she , To flattery be To much addicted Nolly . I vow , says Noll , I Love thee Doll . But pray , Sir , tell me where ? At my heart ▪ says he . At your heart , says she , And do you Love me there ? 'T is true , says Noll . But you , says Doll , Do Love another better . Who is 't , says he ? Why ●an , says she , You th' other day did treat her . Fy , fy , says Noll . Why , why , says Doll ? VVhy Nan did come to me , And pray'd me write , That very Night , To her Sweet-heart Humphrey . VVhat then ? says Doll . VVhy ? then , says Noll , I gave her a Pint of VVine Doll . VVhat else ? says she . VV●y Cakes ▪ says he , And yet no Mis of mine Doll . But yet , says Doll , My ●ather , Noll , Does say you are poor of late . How poor ? says he , Yes , poor , says she , And must not be my mate . I have , says Noll . What hast ? says Doll . Why I have House and Land Doll . Where is 't ? says she . Why , 't is , says he . At the lower end o' th Strand Doll . What goods ? says Doll . All sorts , says Noll , That in a House is common . Indeed , says she . And fit , says he , For any honest Woman . How , how , says Doll . Good Faith , says Noll , 'T is true , and all are my own , And a Feather-bed , With Curtains red For thee , and I to lye on . Then 't is , says Doll , A Match my Noll , Let Father and Mother chide . Is 't done , says he . 'T is done , says she , And I will be thy Bride . Let 's kiss , says Noll . Content , says Doll ; And there 's another for ye . When wed we ? says he To Morrow , says she ; We will no longer tarry . Come then , says Noll , VVe 'l go my Doll , And see the House before ; And then , says he ▪ VVhat then ? says she . Thou't find I am not Poor . Agreed , says Doll . And when ? says Noll . To Morrow we are wedded , Thy Parents shall , ( And kindred all ) Then come and see us bedded . SONG . 32. The disdained Lover . WHen first these eyes of mine saw my Undoer , O how my Soul was inflam'd with desire : But now I curse the time , that e're I knew her , Seeing her cruelty adds to my fire . The more I love , the more she disdains , And daily does add new Links to my Chains ; VVhich makes me Day , and Night to cry , VVoe is me , woe is me , for Love I dye . I still addrest my self in humble manner , Thinking by that , to gain some respect : But she , most Tyger like , took more upon her , And still return'd it with scorn and neglect ; VVhich plung'd my Soul in such deep despair , ( Too great alas ! for Mortals to bear ) I 'de rather soon to yeild my breath , Then to continue still , this living death . Then farwel cruel she , this curse I 'le leave thee : Mayst thou love one , but no man love thee , And when thou doat●st on him may he deceive thee , And be as cruel , as thou wast to me . This O you powers , is all that I crave , When my poor Body is laid in the grave ; Which , if you grant my injur●d dust Must declare , that you are righteous , and just . SONG 33. An Answer to a Song cal'd , Fairest Creature tell me true , shall my sighs never move thee ? And to that Tune . DEar Phyllis seem a little coy , Dissemblingly denying , Least I should burst with too much joy , By thy too soon complying : Thy cruelty So great was to me , It almost had wrought my Ruine ; Then if thou shou●d'st be , In yeilding too free , I fear it may prove my undoing . Extreams , thou knowst , of Joy or grief , Are still destractive to nature , Then if thou yield'st too sudden relief , Thou't prove to thy Friend a Traytor ; Then prethee Phill , Be moderate still , And yeild by degrees unto me ; For if 't come to fast , I surfeit with hast , And then I am sure 't will undo me . SONG 34. On two Women furiously fighting at a Town in Kent● the one being named Bear , and the other Wolf. IT was i' th time of holy Lent , That I was at a Town in Kent , Where I then in passing by , A furious Combat did espy : A lusty Sea Wolf 'gan to fight , On a Bears Cub , to wreak her spight , And on the Cub did roar and claw , Pretending for to keep 't in awe : Which when the Dam o' th Cub did see , Out of her Den came presently , Toth ' rescue of her little Cub : So to 't they went , where many a Drub Was 'gin by both , with teeth and nail , That none could say , which did prevail : Their Eyes , and Hair were then so torn , They lookt like two She-beasts forlorn : Until a Man , which then lay near , Unto the Place , came quickly there , To disingage these furious Foes , VVho painted with those many Blows , And Scratches , each to other given , 'Cause they so long together striven , They both were bloody o're , and o're , And both lay wettring in their gore ; But the discreet Officer parted both , ( Though they to part were very loath ) And when that they could fight no more , Then both their Tongues began to roar So loud , it dampt the noise o' th Crew , That then were the Fight to view : And when their Tongues were likewise spent , ( They both , to give their fury vent , Did with their Eyes the Fight renew , And foam'd and sputter'd ; and then threw Dust in one anothers face , That they were , both in little space So cover'd o're : they lookt , they say , Like two Sea-Devils , as they lay : Nay , they to sight were then so hearty : Says one , fight on , and the Divel part ye . Yet at the last they forc'd were , then To creep unto each others Den. Some thought it strange , not so good Brother , For Beasts will fight with one another . SONG 35. A Song on the Dance called the Morris , danced at Mr. Youngs B●ll , at Brewers Hall in London , April the 13. 1674 And to the Morris Tune . SOme pretty Country Girls there were , VVithin an Arbour sitting : VVho when they did the Piper hear , They then left off their knitting : One bid him play , The Irish Hay ; And th' other little Norris : At last they all , Both great and small , Did bid 'em play the Morris . Their dress was tight , with VVascoats white , And well dyed Petticoats too ; And had you seen 'em on that Night , You think 'em pretty Coats too : Their Coiffes were new , And crost-cloaths too : I 'le tell you more then that too , To keep 'em from The burning Sun , Each had a new straw Hat too . First lively S●● : : : began the Dance , And humour'd it compleatly : Then pretty 〈◊〉 : : D : did advance , Who danc'd all things neatly : Brisk ●o : : : : then , Did follow in , And kept her measures duly ; And pretty Cl : : : That airy spark , Did likewise dance it truly . Then th' other lively Cl : : : went on , And danc'd with strength and vigour : And pretty little Tr : : h : : then , Did keep both time and figure : Sweet Dal : : : then Did credit win , To see her 't was a pleasure : Young So : : : too , She well did do , Who danc'd good time and measure . Thus have you heard the Morris , and The Lass that did b●gin it ; And how they march'd up hand in hand , And sixt within a Minnit : Then every one , When ●une was done , Did make their Curchye-gravely ; Although so young , Yet all the throng Did say , they did it bravely . SONG 36. The little Childrens figure-Dance , at the same Ball : And to that Tune . SOme pretty young Ladies , Got leave of their Daddyes : In a figure dance of late , To dance in a Ball , At the Brewers-Hall : Where every one had her mate , Yet some were so small , Most thought in the Hall , They'd come from sucking but lately ; Yet the less kept figure , As well as the bigger , And all perform'd it compleatly . And first came my Dam● , Sweet Ad : : : by Name , Whose dancing is ayry and true : Pretty Vn : : : d : : likewise , She after her hies , In time and good figure too : Modest Wil : : c : , then , Those two follow in , VVho never in Dancing did wander , And her pretty Partner , Sweet Ch : : d : : to hearten her , There is none for her Age go beyond her . VVell countenanc'd P : : : Though she learn'd but of late , Kept time and figure that day ; Then her Partner came , Little Io : : s : : by name , VVho followed her every way : Pretry Ch : : l : : too , Did follow this Crew , And footed it well and truly : Brisk Pea : : c : : did Trip after her in , And kept her measure most duly . Thus have you heard all , This Dance at the Ball , And who was Partners with other ; And how they did trip-it , And handsomly skip it , Until they meet one another : VVhen the Tune was done , But yet not too soon , They made their Honors so neatly , That all the great Crew , That there took a view , Did say , it was done compleatly . SONG 37 A Dialogue between two Sisters . FYe Phillis , fye , what love a Man ? I thought ye 'ad had more wit. Why Sister , You the Trade began , I did but follow it . No Phillis no , 't was but in Jest , It was not real love ; But Sister you did take no rest , This I can truly prove . VVell Phillis , well , suppose it so , It was not long I 'me sure . Yes Sister , you do sadly know , It nine Moneths did endure . Come , Phyllis come , I did but make , You to believe 't was so . But Sister , 't is not a mistake , Because 't is true I know . So Phillis , so , I see you are Still contradicting me . Yes , Sister , when I find you far From truth , it still shall be . Leave Phillis , leave , let 's now a done ; I fein would give it o're . No , Sister , since you have begun , Good Faith , you shall have more . I must be taxt for loving one , VVhen you have lov'd a score ; And when you find they 'r from you gone , I must be chide therefore . This only is the difference true , Betwixt our Loves , I see : You sue to them , not they to you , Mine first did sue to me . The Chorus to it . The Proverb is made good of old , VVhich Poets , and grave Sages told : That Vice o're Vertue still control'd , But Vertue still to Truth did hold ; VVhich is most true , and ever shall , The very'st VVhore , first VVhore will call ; And that same spoke , which is the worst In a Cart-wheele , will crack the first . SONG 38. The West Country-mans song . The Tune is : I 'le no more to Malton go . nor I 'le no more to Rippon . ICh a no more to Bristow Town , Nor Ich a no more to London , Where many gay Voke gea up and down , And many poor Vokes are undone ; Bu● Ich a gea heam to my Country Varme , And there che chall bush my Maudlin . And when che come there , chil gi me a Pear , And Ich a give her a Codlin . I hill a brew me still good nappy Ale , The best in all the Sheere a , And every Vortnight never fail , To brew me good humming Beer a : And when Ich a vrom Plow do come , I hil ready have Ale , and a Tost too ; And then chil a bid me welcome home , And gi me both Boil'd and Rost too . When Ich have a mind to Bacon and Souse , Cheele kill the Hogge on a sudden , And then chall I have still in the House . Good Bacon , and Souse , and Pudding : Then Ich a send up to London Town , Where Ich ave a loving Cozen , Some Bacon and Souse , to keep the House , And Puddings send by the dozen . Ich a zend up to Sisly too , Myne Hostess Maid at the Anchor , Who was so kind , I hil give her her due , And Ich a for ever thank her , Che'd gi me a Pot of Ale , ere while , And many a Loving Buss too ; When Ich a from Maudlin was many a mile , Ichad no other Friend to trust too . C ham sorry to part from Sisly now , For Ich a chall never forget her , Che's constant , kind , loving , and true , Nor Ich a chall ne're have a better ; And when Ich a go to take my leave , I hill give her a Pint of Canary ; And when Ich come home , I hill send for her down . And Sisly shall look to my dairy . My Maudlin twice a week does go To Market , to Taunton Dean a. Then we must look to the House I tro , And then you know what I mean a : But when Ich a hear my Maudlin come , Then Ich a must look demurely ▪ And Sisly she , as cunning must be , That zo we may live securely , SONG 39. The Platonique Lover . I Smaena I do not admire Thy Star-like eyes , that are so bright ; Though others may , Nor do I from their Beams take fire , I 'me guided by another Light , More bright then they ; No , 't is a vertue more Divine , That makes me offer to thy shrine , To that my vowes I pay . Your stately presence , wit acute , Inviting mean , and charming voice ; Though rare they be , Or excellent touch upon the Lute , Of which you have the greatest choice ; These take not me , 'T is to thy beauteous Soul I bow , To that alone , I 've made a vow , And cal'd my Deity , Some outward Objects may admire , And fondly rest themselves apaid , With those alone , Those never yet fed my desire , Because I know they often fade , As soon as blown ; Unto thy vertuous Soul I bend , VVhich will continue to the end , VVhen others quite are flown . SONG 40. On a Gentlemen that was in Love with two Mistrisses at once . I Have a flame within my breast , Yet still do freeze between two fires : Sometimes I think Aminta best , Whose sight does heighten my desires : Bot when I do Corinna see , Then she alone 's my Deity . When I but on Aminta think , With Joy I 'me in an extasie , And that I 'me at the very brink , Of being her real Votorie : But when Corinna I espy , I 'me chang'd i' th turning of an Eye . Each does Inflame my tortur'd mind , But know not which to chuse of either : Then prethee Cupid be so kind , To give me both , or give me neither ; For if I with Aminta bed , Without Corrinna I 'me but dead . SONG 41. A Drinking Song . COme my Lads that love Canary , Let us have a brisk Figary , Underneath this spreading Vine , Underneath this spreading Vine ; And there we will tipple , Like Babes at the Nipple , As long as we have a drop of Wine . Fill me up a lusty Glass Boy , He that bawks it is an Ass Boy ; Fill it up unto the brim , Fill it up unto the brim ; Fill'd quicker and quicker , Until that the Liquor Have made our muddy brains to swim . First , here 's a health to Moll and Betty , Who both thou knowst are very pretty , And are likewise full of coin , And are likewise full of coin , For when we do want Boyes , They 'l give us a grant Boyes , Of that which still does pay for our Wine . Next here 's a health to Sue and Nanny . Who sing and dance the best of any , And are likewise very free , And are likewise very free ; Then here 's to 'em both Boyes , Good Faith I 'de be loath Boyes , To miss their good healths , are so kind to me . Come says one , let us straight Boyes All be gone , now 't is late Boyes : But another that was there , But another that was there , Said he 'd lay him a Crown , That he 'd sooner be gone , The longer time he did tarry here . SONG 42. A Song of a whole Family , that were great Lovers of Bacchus . MY Grandsire is a brave Fellow , Keeps Men in Blew , and Yellow , His drink it is strong and mellow , And has a good lusty swallow , Yet learns to tipple and drink , With Cups fill'd up to the brink , I never knew him to shrink , As long as he had any chink . My Gran'ams a good old Woman , Beloved of Knights ▪ and Yeomen , She never was foe to no Man , And the Trade with her was common , To learn to Tipple and kiss , Of which she would never miss , Until that her brains did hiss , And her name was Bonny Bess. My Uncle is a brave Spark , If he meet with ado in the dark , In the midst of any Park , He never will miss the mark , Yet learns to bub good Ale , Of which he ne're does fail , And falls to 't tooth and nail , Whether 't be new or stale . My Aunt is a Woman kind , She will not be behind , If her Gallant she can find , She 'l only give her mind , To learn the drinking Trade , And kissing too in the shade , And ne're will stir , as 't is said . Until that the Reckoning 's paid . My Brothers's a lusty young Gallant , Knows Flandres , and Zeland , and Brabaut , And lately's come out of Holland , And freely will spend his Talent , To learn this bubbing art , At which he is very smart , And from it will never start , Till all the Company part . My Sister is a brave Lass , For so it came to pass , That kissing on the grass Her chiefest pleasure was , To learn to drink and tip , And still have the Cup at her lip , At which she would always sip , Till up her heels it did trip . Thus Uncle , Grannam , and Gransire , You see to their Cups wou'd stand Sir , And Aunt , and Sister , and Brother , Did teach it to one another ; And all were very well read , In this kissing and bubbing Trade , And never in any decay'd , Until they were all of 'em dead . SONG . 43. A Mock Song to Collamina of my heart , none shall e're bereave me : And to that Tune . PRetty Peggy grant to me One sweet kiss , to prove me If I stick not close to thee , As the wood-bine to thee , Mayst thou never love me . Passion is a simple thing , That will ne're content ye , It will never pleasure bring , But will leave behind a sting , That will still torment ye . Love that Brisk and ayry is , Brings a Lady pleasure ; But if dull our bloods will freeze , Which will make you by degrees To repent at leasure . Heightned Love doth still beget , Torment to the Master ; For Jealousy is such a cheat , No Physitian e're cou'd yet Find for it a Plaster . Anger still doth stir up Love , And increase the fancy , If 't be moderate then you 'l prove , 'T is the only Sphear to move In , for to advance ye . SONG 44. On a whipping School-master . The Tune is : Old Tom a Bedlam . THere was a Jerking Master , That was of humour muddy , His Schollars he 'd Lerk , And so soundly Jerk , Till their breeches all were bloody . A Rumpish new made Captain , Whose name was Robin Burrows , When in he was come , He so ploud up his bum , That it lay in Ridges and furrows . Likewise came in a Porter , Who disturb'd this humming concord , Then he took up his Frock , And he taw'd his nock ; Nay , he paid him with his own cord . Then came a lusty Brewer , By name Cornelius Wallis , He whipt him so sore , Both behind and before , Till his Breech was not'cht like 's Tallyes . Then came in a Car-man , When he was in his fury , He took's wip away , And with it did him pay , Till he cry'd , ge wo I 'le assure ye . A Taylor came to mend then His Breeches and his Gown too , But he claw'd him of so , Before he did go , He was forc'd to mend his own too . A Drunkard came toth ' door then , In the Month of dull October ; Though the Man was young , Yet he whipt him so long , Until he had whipt him sober . An Vpholster came to put up , Some hangings in the Garret , Yet he hung him on the back , Of his lusty Man Iack , Till his breech was as red as Claret . A Cobler came to underlay His Shoes , and them to mend too , Yet he did him so Thump , On the top of the Rump , 'T was almost his Last and End too . A Tinker knockt at door too , And made a woeful din there , And instead of work , He was wipt like a Turk , Until he had scarce any skin there . A Rope-maker came by chance , And made such a noise with crying , That he took some of 's Cords , And without more words , Did whip him instead of buying . Then a lusty Wench came in once , Who so it seems was something waggish , Her name was Gillion , Yet he torn'd up her Pillion , And he us'd her like a Baggage , The weapons that he fought with , In Birch-lane they were made still , And the Man grew rich , By this War for the brich , Because he was truly paid still . At lak this bold Schoolmaster , So weary was with wipping , He cou'd whip no more , Death whipt in at door , And did seaze upon him sleeping . SONG 45. A Mock to a Song called , since Fortune thou art grown so kind : And to that Tun● . O All ye Powers that Rule above , I have a boon to beg of Iove , Which I desire ; Which if he grant and shall approve , I still within that Sphear will move , And go no higher : I still within that Sphear will move , And go no higher . And first do desire to be , A Yeoman of a low degree , And Lands to have , On which I may live merrily , And leav 't to my posterity , 'T is all I crave : And leav 't to my , &c. But now it comes into my mind , Because I would not be behind , In place and power , I 'de be a Gentleman well lind , And with a pretty Girl be joind , Then beg no more ; And with a pretty Girl be joind , Then beg no more . And when that I have liv'd a while In this Estate with fortunes smile , With your good leave , I 'de be a Squire too , if you please , And still to live in health and ease , 'T is all I crave ; And still to live , &c. And when that you have grant me this , I 'de likewise Justice be o' th Peace , And Quoram grave , That so I still might dominere , Over all Men in the Shire , 'T is all I 'de have ; Over all Men , &c. And after this I do intreat , I might be Knight and Baronet , With riches store ; And every day the best of Meat , For me and my good Friends to eat , I crave no more . For me , &c. Another Boon , if you 'l afford , I do desire to be a Lord , With Lands good store , That so I may fix Horses keep , For my fine Coach of excellent shape , I crave no more : For my , &c. And likewise then I further crave , To be an Earl , that 's rich and brave , With Houses store , To each a Park fil'd full of Deer , And groves of Timber here and there ; I beg no more : And groves , &c. And then me thinks I fein would be A Duke likewise , of highest degree , With Lands o' th best , That so I may keep Misses store , Which if you grant , I 'le beg no more , I do protest : Which if &c. But now I think upon it well , I have no mind to go to Hell , For all I have ; But do desire that I may go To Heaven my self , and Friends also , 'T is all I crave : To Heaven my self , and Friends also , 'T is all I crave . SONG 46. A Gentleman on his Mistriss lately forced into the Country . FAir Saint farwel , to thee I 'le pay , The tribute of my vows each day , Distance of place shall ne're bring me , To play the Heretick 'gainst thee ; Though thou art absent , yet will I Remain thy constant votary . Dear Object of my Souls delight , Though thou art ravish'd from my sight , New Beauties shall not me surprise , I none of those will Idolise ; My loyal heart shall ever be , A Sacrifice reserv'd for thee . Should any ask the reason why , Sorrow's Triumphant in mine eye , Or what the cause is that my grief , Exceed all Limits of relief ; 'T is too to plain , since I must say , The fair B●lind●'s gone away . SONG 47. In praise of his beautiful Mistriss . WHen first my Lucasta my heart did surprise , By the attraction of Beauty , & power of her eyes , I trembled , and sighed , and sted●astly gaz'd , Until that my thoughts in raptures were rais'd , That Monarch's unworthy , who grutches to part With Scepter or Crown to attain such a heart . Were the Curtains of Age drawn over that face , Where now dwells perfection of Beauty and Grace ; Her tongue is so charming and language so fit , Some call her Angel , so Divine is her wit ; But whil'st Wit and Beauty each other support . She 'l be the chief Gallant of Town and of Court. Let none then presume with Lucasta to vie A Star of her Luster out-shines all that 's nigh ; That Beauty 's no Beauty , if she be but near , All Beauty to hers , still a foil will appear : What wish could I wish , were I sure of a grant , But to Love as I do , and adore such a Saint . Let Envy now burst , and speak if it dare , Since all the World knows , how much she is fair ; A mind that 's so Noble , a Spirit so brave , Who would not then wish still to be her Slave : I would not be freed , though an Empire I gain A troublesome Crown , cannot equal my chain ▪ SONG 48. A Complaint against Love. LOve is a sickness full of woes , All remedy refusing ; A plant that with most cutting grows , Most barren with least using : Why so ? More we enjoy it , more it dies ; If not enjoy'd , it sighing cryes , Hey ho. Love is a torment of the mind , A tempest everlasting ; And you have made it of a kind , Not well , nor full , nor fasting . Why so ? More we enjoy it , more it dies ; If not enjoy'd , it sighing cryes , Hey ho. SONG 49. A Song by a Person of Quallity . LOve is a passion every one must have ; 'T was never known that freedom reach'd the grave ; ●hose glowing fires alwayes existent are , ●hough they 'r at first unknown ; and then we dare Huff at the Boy , and call him blind , defie His Art , and all that lyes in destiny . ●e choak our knowledge in a Spungy Tomb , ●●ntented Ignorance doth give the doom : ●e strive to think we are in the right , but then ●Ve can not think , for yet we are not Men : Thus for a while w' are foyl'd , as in a dream , Till the Sparks join , and burst into a flame . AN ELYGY On Sir Edward Sprague . ●Ale like the Prisoners , trembling at the Barr , When they to death condemn'd by th' Judges are ▪ ● look'd true English-men with selfe same fear ●●rpriz'd , when they their Admirals fate did hear , ● sad a Consternation , seaz'd on all Their hopes in him , have found their Funeral , The future Age shall curse that rigid Fate , Which did decree such ruine to the State Of Brittain's Isle , so soon for to admit , Death should arrest what was so dear to it : God Mars dejectedly does hang his head , Since his brave matchless Darling Sprague is dead : Those victorious Lawrels , which did heretofore Invest his Temples , he from thence hath tore ; And hath resolv'd , all his Trophys shall Be in one Pyle burnt , at his Funeral . The Sea-born God , doth sit oppress'd with grief , Cursing the VVaves , for yeilding no relief To him , who did alone deserve that they , Should their just Tribute of obedience pay . Weep Brittains , weep , and let your flowing Ey● Bring Floods of Tears , each day for Sacrifice , To his dear Memory ; whose spotless Fame Shall live , till Death it self shall want a Name . On Epitaph on the same . Hence flatt'ring Mourners , you whose hyred Ey● Can weep , not grief at funeral Obsequies ; Whose sighs and tears do only serve like smoak , To crow'd your selves , into a Mourning cloak ; Let none such dare presume this place , 't is ●or tru● And real Plaintiss , here 's no room for you : Should all true Mourners wait upon his Herse , VVe then must Congregate the Universe ; VVhich were not safe , for fear the Tears which fall Should cause a Deluge , at his Funeral , VVithin this Urns his Magazeen , whose worth No Tongue , nor Pen , can really set forth : Here , here , alas ! he lyes Intered ! each dust Of whom deserves Executors in trust . SONG . 50. A Match at Drinking . LEt the Bowl pass free , From thee unto me , As it first came to thee ; 'T is pitty that we should confine it , Seeing we have , both Credit , and Coin yet ; Let it e'ne take it's course , There 's no stopping it's force ; Let him hang , that first does decline it . Away cast the cares , Your sho●s and your wares , Those Irrational fears , Let your minds be as frolick as his'en is , That from his young Bride newly risen is : VVe will banish that Soul , That comes here to condole , VVhich is troubled with Love , or with business . There 's no Man we 'l name , Nor a Lady Inflame , That is given to 'th game , It will to adumpishnes drive all , And make us go mad , and go wive all : VVe will have this whole Night Set apart for delight , And our Mirth shall have no corrival . Then see that the Glass In its Circuit does pass , Till it comes where it was ; And every Mans Nose has been in it , Till he ends it , that first did begin it , As Copernicus sound , That the VVorld goes round , VVe will prove , so shall every thing in it . SONG 51. The Foolish kind Husband . A Very pretty Girl was forc'd to VVed A Rich , but Country Bumkin , ( as 't is said ; ) His kindness to her was great ; nay lov'd her so , That for his life he could not her forgo ; VVith Presents also he would daily ply her , And gave her more still then she did desire : He ask'd her Parents to what kind of Meat She lik'd best , he 'd provide it her to eat ? They told him she did delight in Furmity , And that with Sugar it must sweetned be ; VVhich he provided for her every day , Thinking to get her Love that kind of way . One Night it fortuned she had eat good store , VVhich made her Belly rumble o're and o're : And being that Night both a Bed together , She tumbled and tost still hither , and thither ; And at the last , ( which is a certain truth , ) She clapt her sweet Bum to her Husbands mouth ; And he being then 'twixt sleeping and waking , VVas the chief cause of his mistaking ▪ He thought it her Mouth , and believ'd that she D●d it a purpose , to kiss him Lovingly ; Then he began to kiss it very roundly , And she poor heart did likewise fizle soundly : Yet he kist on ; at last says he , my Dear , VVhat hast thee eat to Night ? something I 'le swear Hath made thy breath smell very strong ; he bust agen , But she answered him only in fizles then . Dear VVife , says he , me thinks thy face to night Is wonderfully swell'd ; yet he with might And main , still in his bussing humour kept ; But she did only fizle , and still slept . Me thinks thy face is so much swel'd , it grows Bigger and bigger , that I can't find thy Nose : He askt her what she had a mind to have To Morrow for her Dinner ? she only gave Him a soysting answer , and not to 's wish , For he thought when she fizled , she fed aw fish , No says he , I hate Fish , of all kinds of Meat . But she cry'd ▪ aw Fish ; which put him in a heat , And if she would not tell him , he did swear , That he wou'd take her a good box o' th ear . Yet she kept up her fizling Dialect still , That he , it seems , with scent was very ill ; And thought that he had struck her on the face , But to his cost he found 't was in another place : For with the blow , she flounc't the furmety out In his sweet face , and bosom round about . Uds Nigs , said he , I 've beaten out the brains Of my dear VVife , and shall be hang'd for my pains . Then he cry'd out with might and main , poor heart ; VVhich noise did make his fizling VVife to start : Up comes a Maid , who laught till she did tickle , To see her sweet Master in such a pickle . Then up they got , and sate , until the Maid , Had cleans'd the Man , and put fresh Sheets o' th Bed ; And glad he was , to see his VVife not dead , Swearing he 'd never strike her again in the Bed. Next Night she had Furmety also , and when She came to Bed , she speu'd it up agen : Says he , my Dear , I find it does not please ye , I 'me sorry such Furmity should disease ye ; And being a Man that had a saving Soul , Did quickly rise , and fetcht a Spoon and Bowl ; And with the Spoon did keel it up so clean , That on the Sheets there was none to be seen , 'T was put into the Bowl , and there it stood Until the Morrow , ( very fresh and good ; ) And when his Servants all were come from Plow , He cal'd his Seeds-man to him : saying , Hugh Dost thee love Furmety ? Yes , Sir , that I do . Here tak 't , says he , and heat it , 't is fresh and new ; And when 't was hot , did put therein some bread , That being done , he whipt it up with speed . His Master askt him then , how it did eat ? Troth Sir , says he , I ne're eat better Meat . Much good may it do thee ; for by this light , It would not stay with my poor Wife last Night . Say you so , says he , nor it shan't with me ; And flounc't it out on 's face immediatly : That two Nights together his Wife , and he ▪ Did kindly wash his face with Furmety . SONG 51. A Dialogue between a Gallant , and his Mistriss To the Tune : Of the new French Dance called Backnal . Man. COme my Molly , Let 's be jolly , Since we are gotten together , my Dear , Thy Father's s●orting , And we 'l be sporting , Without any fear , Wo. I but Neddy , My old Daddy Shou'd he but miss me , O then He will watch us , If he catch us , ● never shall see thee agen . Man. Prethee Mally , Let 's not dally , This is the happiest time we have had ; We will Improve Our Tallent of Love , In spight of the Dad. Wo. I but Neddy He is ready Still on a sudden to wake ; Shou'd he miss me , Heavens bless me , What answer d' e think I can make . Man. Hang him Molly , 'T is but a folly ●ow to dispute it , we must give it ore ; Let him leave thee , And I 'le receive thee ; What woud'st thou have more ? Wo. I see Neddy , There 's no remedy , But that I must be thy mate ; Then far-well honor Out upon her , We Women must yeild to our Fate . SONG 52. The faithful Lover . To the Tune : O my Clarissa thou cruel fair . MY dear Elinda I now must go ▪ My cruel Parents tell me so , They , they , and only they , Do force me hence away , But my poor heart do answer no : For that is dedicate to thee , And so for evermore shall be ; I here do vow and swear , Never to break , my Dear , That plighted Faith 'twixt thee and me . Sure goodness now is gone astray , Since Money bears the bell away ; 'T is not what is she now , But 't is , what has she now . That , that alone , bears all the sway . And though my dear Elinda now , My Parents wear a wrincled brow ; If they have no remorse , No threatnings e're shall force Me , to forsake thee , or my vow . SONG 53. The forsaken Maid . To the Tune : Of Balloo . MY dearest Baby , prethee sleep , It grieves me sore to see thee weep ; Would'st thou wert quiet , I should be glad , Thy mourning makes me very sad : Lye still my Boy , Thy Mothers joy ; Thy Father caus'd my sad annoy : Ch. Ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me ▪ poor Maid , That by my ●olly , my folly , am betray'd . And thou my Darling sleep a while : Yet when thou ' wak'st do sweetly smile : Yet smile not as thy Father did To cozen Maids ; Nay , God forbid : But now I fear , That thou , my Dear , Thy Fathers face , and mind will bear : Ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , poor maid That by my folly , my folly , am betray'd . When he began to Court my Love , I thought him like the Gods above , His sug●red words so pearc't my heart , ( And vow'd from me he 'd never part ) But now I see , That cruel he , Cares neither for my Babe , nor me . Ay me , ay me , &c. Far-well , far-well , thou falsest Youth , That ever kiss'd a Womans mouth ; Let never Maid then after me , Commit her , to thy Courtesie ; For cruel thou , If once they bow ; Wilt thou abuse them , thou car'st no● how , Ch. Ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , ay me , poor Maid , That by my folly , my folly , am betray'd . SONG 54. A Mock to , how hard is a heart to be cur'd . HOw hard is a Wench to be gotten , That is not all over be-itcht , She 'l be sure to make a Man rotten . If on her his fancy be pitch't , And nothing but Death can relieve The pangs that he must endure , VVhen he from her shall receive The things , that admits of no cure . One had better take one to himse●f , VVithout danger of any relapse , And in VVine spend all his Pelf , VVithout danger of getting of claps , And enjoy his own mate at his pleasure ; And that it once may be said , Of himself he had spent all his treasure , And once had lain with a Maid . SONG 55. A Mock Song , to fly Boyes to the Cellar Bottom . STay Boyes , stay , we 'l have no Canary , Our Pockets quite are empty , Stay then till we have plenty ; For a Penny we cannot spare ye , For VVine we don't care ▪ It goes against the Hair , And we 'l stay not ; For I know 't will vex you much , And I 'me sure yov'l it grutch , If we should be those as pay not . SONG . 56. A Mock to , Why so pale and wand fond Lover . WHy so proud you saucy Jade , Prethee why so proud ; You scorn the Complements I have made , Will Curses be allow'd ; Prethee why so proud . Why so brazen-fac't and bold , Prethee why so surly , To say you were a bawling Scold Wou'd make a hurly burly ; Prethee why so surly . SONG 57. A Mock to , Calm was the Evening and cleer was the Skye . SHarp was the Air , and cold was the Ground , When Old Roger and I was walking , And a warm place was not to be found , But starv'd we were in our talking : We made haste to our Chimney Corner , But we made such a smoke , It did us e'ne choke , Till we fell to cough ho , ho , ho , ho , ho , Cough , ho , ho , ho. He laid his sweet Mouth to my face , And his Nose did drop on my chin , Which brought me into the same case , For a driveling I did begin , And down it did run very low : But the best , of the jest Was , we cought out the rest , And we cought out , ho , ho , ho , ho , ho , Cought ho , ho , ho. I puk't and my Lungs did heave , And he poor Man held my head Was so kind , that he did not leave Until he had got me to bed : Then down he came , and lay by me , Therein he was kind enough : We were each fourscore , And cou'd do no more , But did cough , ho , ho , ho , ho , ho , Cought ho , ho , ho. SONG . 58. A Dieu fond World , and all thy wiles , Thy haughty frowns , and treacherous smiles : They that behold thee with their Eyes , Thy double dealing will despise . From the false World my deadly foe , Into some Desart let me go , Some Gloomy melancholly Cave , Dark , and ●●lent , dark and silent as the Grave . Let me withdraw , where I may be , From thy Impertinency free : There when I hear the Turtle groan , How sweetly would I make my moan . Kind Philomel would teach me there , My sorrow pleasantly to bear : There would I correspond with none , But Heaven , and mine own breast alone . SONG 59. HOw b●n●y and bri●k ▪ how pleasant and sweet , Wer● 〈◊〉 & I while my passions were strong So eagerly each other flames we did meet , That a Minutes delay did appear to be long : The vows that I made her , she seal'd with a kiss , Till my Soul I had lost in a rapture of bliss . I vow'd , and I thought I could ever have lov'd , When beauty and kindness together I found , So sweetly she lookt , and so sweetly she mov'd , That I ●ansied my strength with my joys to abound The pleasure I gave she did doubly requite , By finding out ever new ways for delight . At length when enjoyment had put out my fire , My strength was decay'd , and my passion was done So pall'd was my Fancy , so tame my desire , That I from the Nimph very fain would have gone Ah Ienny said I , we adore you in vain , For beauty enjoy'd doth but turn to disdain . FINIS . SONG . 60. A Mock Song to Cellamina of my heart , none shall ever bereave me . And to that Tune . MOll , I nere yet knew thy mind , Once again I 'le prove thee , If thou wilt but be so kind , To kiss me twice or thrice behind , Faith I le ever love thee . Tom , I 'me Ignorant I vow , Which way to come to it , But if you the way will show , First kiss mine ; then I shall know The better how to do it . We 'l draw Cuts then if thou woo't Now , within this Minute . And when we have drawn the Lot , They that have the shortest Cut , They shall first begin it . Hang your Cuts , do you begin't , You 're the first did move it , And when I see you do●'t in Print , Sure you 'l think the Devils in 't , Should I not approve it . SONG 61. A Mock to that against Marriage , Called out of pure , and arrant Devotion . Out of my chast , and good intent , In Marriage now my life shall be spent , 'T Is the end of Debauchery , the beginning of pleasure , The preserver of Youth , wit , vertue , and treasure , And there 's no danger of a troublesome Night , Or occasion with Constable , or Watch men to fight ; And so equal a thing is the Marriage Notion , That from years end , to years end , it keeps the same motion ; For in Wenches and Cracks there 's a great deal of trouble ; Their Hectors they h●ff you & make you their buble ; The wenches they cheat , make you pawn cloak , and hat , To find Money only to give you a clap , That 's so hard to be cured : there 's no more to be said Keep close to your Wife , and enjoy her in Bed. SONG 62. A Mock to , Let 's laugh and be merry . LEt 's away from the Tavern , and not be so mad , To be drunk every day , now the world is so bad , And run after Wenches i' th Park or the Fields , To waste our Estates , when no profit it yeilds : But now we grow far wiser , then e're we have been , And upon all occasions in our Shops to be seen : For he that spends Money , on Wenches and drink , May starve without coin , when our pockets do chink● SONG 63. POx take your humours Maddam , don't believe , 'Cause you ●rown , I 'me such an Ass to grieve ; 'Cause I have got a foolish trick to prate , And call you handsome , must you put on state ; Sometimes I rant it higher ; and compare Your Eyes to Stars , the very Angels Livery ; swear You out vie the Sun in his defusive way ; Come don't believe all is true I say ; I ne're could take such pleasure in a kiss , Nor in a smile conceive so great a bliss : Nor e're could smell the sweetness , which the Air Drew from your breath , unless your hair Were powdred : I 've a Critick guess , and can allow A counterfeited wrincle on the Brow ; Provided it be to prepare a light To sweeten joy , and relish Appetite : But if you frown in earnest , when I wooe And serious are : by Iove I can do so to . Take heed , this do not bring you to that pass , That all shall scorn to Court you , but your Glass : Then you with sorrow may your shadow tell , You had a Servant once that lov'd you well : Till your own folly lost him : then be sure , If you 'le be lov'd by me , with Love that 's pure And shine as glorious as you did be●ore ; Henceforth be wise , and anger me no more . SONG . 64. LOng since fair Clarinda , my passion did move , Whilst under my friendship , I conveyed my love But now I must speak , though I fear t is in vain , 'T is too late in my Death to dissemble my pain In telling my Love , though I fear I shall deny . I shall ease my sad heart , and more quietly die . But sure by my eyes , you my passion may find , No Friendship e're Languisht , or lookt half so kind , Though I said not I lov'd , you might see it so plain , Friends us'd not to sigh , or to speak with such pain : Each touch with her hand , such war●th did inspire My face was all Feavor , my heart was all fire . My thoughts are so tender , my Tongue cannot tell , What bliss would be your's , if you lov'd half so well Let the the thing with the Title or property prove , Let him have the show , and me have the love : I have lov'd you so long , that if you delay , You will owe me so much , that you never can pay . SONG . 65. WHat a Riddle is Love , if thought on aright , T is mirth mixt with sorrow , & pain with delight , T is a pleasant Disease , and de●icate smart , At once the vexation , and joy of my heart . For this Signal Grace to the world I declare , In Earth , Heaven , and Hell , Lov 's power 's the same , No Laws there , nor here , no Gods so severe , But Love can repeal , and Beauty can tame . SONG . 66. WHen on my sick-bed I Languish , Full of sorrowful Anguish , Faiting , Gasping , Trembling , Crying , Panting , Groaning , Speechless , Dying ; My Soul just now , about to take her flight , Into the Region of Eternal Night ; O tell me you , That have been long below , What shall I do ? VVhat shall I think , when cruel Death appears , That may extenuate my fears ? Me thinks I hear some gentle Spirit say , Be not fearful , come away : Think with thy self , that now thou shalt be free , And find thy long expected liberty : Thou mayst , but worst thou canst not be , Then in the Vale of tears , and misery : Like Caesar , with assurance then come on ; And unamaz'd attempt the Lawrel Crown , What lyes on th' other side Deaths Rubicon . SONG 67. PHilander , and Sylvia , a gentle soft pair , VVhose business was love and kissing their care , In a sweet smelling grove went sighing along , Till the youth gave a vent to his heart , by his tongue : O Sylvia , said he , ( and sight as he spoke ) Your cruel resolve , will you never revoke ? No never , she said . How never ! he cry'd , 'T is the ill that shall only that Sentence abide . SONG 68. FAir Caelia too sondly contemns those delights , wherewith gentle Nature , hath softned the nights : If she be so kind to present us with power : The fault is our own to neglect the good hour : Who gave thee thy beauty , ordain'd thou shouldst be As kind to thy S●aves , as the Gods are to thee . SONG 69. The Gadding Gallant . To the Tune of , She lay all naked in her bed , WHy should'st thou say Arinda , I Have been untrue to thee ? Thou knowst a week I did comply , And was thy Votary ; VVhich was a tedious time to me , Because that heretofore I ne're did stay Above a day , Nor ne're intend it more . Do but observe the industrious Bee , VVho after every shower , VVill swiftly fly from Tree to Tree , And sip at every flowre : VVere she confind'd to one alone , The pleasure would be void : But being free VVithal , you see The Fancy nere is cloy'd . Likewise I pray what he or she , VVhither of Flesh or Fish , VVou'd be content perpetualy , To feed upon one Dish ; Too much of one things good for nought , And dulls the Appetite ; And all agree , Variety Do's raise it to the height . Besides Arinda , know that change Is now the only mode , And every one delights to Range , And make their Meals abroad ; Then why should I be ty'd to one Since all are free beside , Yet thou d'st have me Be fixt to thee , As if thou wert my Bride . SONG 70. Tune is , And 't is the knave of Clubs bears all the 〈◊〉 I Sing of Sciences which fate , To English-men has brought of late ; And though from forreign parts they came , Yet we have all embrac'd the same . And now have fixt them so well here , They 'r all a mode de Anglitterre . First Boy , if thou hast store of Chink , And hast a mind to learn to drink , Although the Dutch-men shew'd the way To tipple Brandy Night and Day ; Yet we the knack on 't now have here , 'T is all a Mode , &c. Hast thou a mind thy time to pass , With a Mis or pretty Lass. And though the French at first did show The way to all , yet you must know We now so much esteem it here , 'T is all a Mode , de Anglitt●rre . Hast thou a mind to learn to Swear , The wicked'st Oath that ever were , Though the Germans it began , VVe now do swear , and curse and ban ; 'T is pleasant grown to every ear , And all a Mode , &c. Hast thou a mind to learn to Lye , ●o Cozen , Cheat , and Cogg a die , VVhich we from Forrein parts have learn'd , Yet more plainly now it is descern'd , That we so well have learn't it here , 'T is all a mode , &c. Last would'st thou learn to Quarrel too , Here thou may'st do 't with small ado , From thence away to duelling , VVhich we from Forrein Parts did bring ; And now 't is so establish'd here , 'T is all a mode , &c. Thus have you heard both one and all , The Sciences Illiberal , Which here are learn'd in little space , And all are done with Divellish grace ; And being made free Denizens here , They 'r all a mode de Angliterre . FINIS . ERRATA . PAge 10. line 18 , alwas read always . p. 13. l. 8. tongue r. thunder . p. 18. l. 21. add when . p. 45. l. 13. Thrgeo r. Turgeo . p. 46. l. 4. Renno r. Renuo . p. 47. l. 27. Drodo r. Prodo . p. 48. l. 12. Puso r. Pulso . p. 63. l. 6. Thus r. There . p. 78. l. 6. round r. unwed . p. 80. l. 7. Thy r. There . p. 111. l. 1. 〈◊〉 r. last . p. 137. l. 20. Faiting r. Fainting .